Joe Rogan Experience #1953 - Duncan Trussell

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast,…

   1. DTDuncan Trussell0:00

      (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

   2. NANarrator0:04

      The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music plays) Hello, Joe.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:16

      Hello, Joe. Here we go.

   4. DTDuncan Trussell0:18

      (laughs)

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:19

      (laughs)

   6. DTDuncan Trussell0:19

      (laughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:22

      How are you feeling?

   8. DTDuncan Trussell0:23

      Good, dude.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:24

      Safe and effective?

   10. DTDuncan Trussell0:25

       Yeah, for sure. I feel safe-ish right now.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:28

       I feel safer.

   12. DTDuncan Trussell0:30

       I do love that you have the boosters in the... When you come in, you get all your guys a booster.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:35

       (laughs)

   14. DTDuncan Trussell0:35

       I appreciate that, man.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:36

       Can you imagine that they used to use these things to protect themselves from disease? They'd fill the, the tube, the beak, up with herbs?

   16. DTDuncan Trussell0:43

       I can imagine it. I d- I can totally imagine, in the time of the Black Plague-

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:48

       Yeah.

   18. DTDuncan Trussell0:49

       ... d- doing anything you could possibly do to not get the Black Plague.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:53

       So, do you think that people just walked around like this all day?

   20. DTDuncan Trussell0:57

       I think it was doctors. I don't think it was, uh-

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:58

       Only doctors?

   22. DTDuncan Trussell0:59

       Yeah, I don't think it was, um, like, uh, I don't think most people could probably afford these masks.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:04

       Really?

   24. DTDuncan Trussell1:05

       But I think if you were a plague doctor, you'd, like, throw one of these things in and just walk into a fucking house where someone's got bubonic plague.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:12

       Ah.

   26. DTDuncan Trussell1:13

       Can you imagine dying of bubonic plague, and this is, like, the last thing you see is this?

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:18

       Oh, my God.

   28. DTDuncan Trussell1:19

       "I will pop your boil now. Let me extract pus from your boil."

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:26

       Imagine being a person who has to go visit people that has bubonic plague. You're a doctor. You don't have it. And you're gonna go treat a person who has it, with what? Like, what are you treating them with back then?

   30. DTDuncan Trussell1:38

       That's a great question. I mean, I imagine l- like, probably, like, crazy medieval shit, like-
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Ugh. …

   1. DTDuncan Trussell15:00

      buy the same shit. You're, you're not gonna buy stuff you have to replace in a few months. You're gonna try to buy things that last. It's, it's g-... It's a whole different economy if you imagine that it's not a permanent fixture. So, when preppers are, like, getting... Putting their stuff and p-... Like, learning how to, like, do first aid, and growing their own food, and buying chickens or whatever, it... People... By people, I mean me. I used to watch preppers and laugh my ass off before the pandemic. It seemed so funny to me. Like, "Look at them. Look at them with their war games at their ranch."

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:34

      Ugh.

   3. DTDuncan Trussell15:34

      "Idiots. What are they doing?" But, you know, and then the pandemic hits. You got kids, and you don't have enough food, and the preppers do. And they're laughing at you now. They're like, "Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. What are you gonna fucking do? I thought you were... I thought you loved your kids. I guess you don't love them that much to store up a little bit of extra food."

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:57

      True.

   5. DTDuncan Trussell15:57

      And so, you know, I think that that is sort of... If, if you wanna keep things going and enjoy w- you know, Western civilization completely, you have to pretend that this is a stable thing, and not a, uh, as unstable as the pandemic proved it was.

   6. JRJoe Rogan16:13

      Don't you think it's also just a natural human inclination to think that things are always gonna be the same?

   7. DTDuncan Trussell16:19

      No. That's-

   8. JRJoe Rogan16:20

      You don't think that?

   9. DTDuncan Trussell16:21

      I... Well, I think it g-... I think it's a Western, it's a Western thing. It's... In the east-

   10. JRJoe Rogan16:26

       Okay, right, right, right.

   11. DTDuncan Trussell16:26

       ... it's not so much 'cause they, like... At least I've read, like, in Tibet, they... Like, they don't, like, hide death from their kids. They're like, as soon as the kids can, like, understand how to talk, they're, they, they're like, "Yeah, I'm gonna die," or, "Your mom will die. You're gonna die. Everyone dies. Everything changes."

   12. JRJoe Rogan16:43

       Lots of Tibetan sky funerals, the wildest fucking funeral ever.

   13. DTDuncan Trussell16:46

       Ah, the best. Those... Feed them to those birds.

   14. JRJoe Rogan16:48

       It's kind of the way to go.

   15. DTDuncan Trussell16:51

       Yeah, it's the w-

   16. JRJoe Rogan16:51

       As long as you have, like, D- DNA and autopsies and no one gets away with murder 'cause otherwise... Like, "Let's exhume the body. Well..."

   17. DTDuncan Trussell16:59

       Yeah.

   18. JRJoe Rogan17:00

       "They got eaten by a vulture."

   19. DTDuncan Trussell17:01

       "Let's gather up some vulture shit and see if we can get some DNA out of it."

   20. JRJoe Rogan17:05

       Joey Diaz was telling me this thing about, uh, funeral homes, about what a, what a racket it is, and about how even if you get, um... Even if you wanna get incinerated, you... If... They still have to use the formaldehyde on you. They have... They still have to, like-

   21. DTDuncan Trussell17:23

       Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan17:23

       ... treat you the same way.

   23. DTDuncan Trussell17:24

       Okay.

   24. JRJoe Rogan17:25

       They don't just burn you.

   25. DTDuncan Trussell17:26

       I had this, um... Sh- she's part of the death positivity movement is what it's called.

   26. JRJoe Rogan17:32

       Oh, boy.

   27. DTDuncan Trussell17:32

       Her name is Caitlin Doughty.

   28. JRJoe Rogan17:34

       (laughs)

   29. DTDuncan Trussell17:34

       It actually... I know why you would say that 'cause, like, when you hear that, you're thinking, like, uh, uh, like, black lipstick.

   30. JRJoe Rogan17:45

       (laughs)
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Yeah. …

   1. DTDuncan Trussell30:00

      the, this... Oh, God, I'm sorry, whoever told me this. They were, uh, they went on a tour of the Coliseums in Italy, and, uh, the person giving the guide, th- giving the tour was talking about...... how, you know, the horrible shit the Romans used to do in the coliseums, like the, like the... It was just pure brutality. And the guide says, "But it's just as brutal now, but in a different way." And that's what she's talking about. It's like, yeah, we don't have coliseums where we're, like, throwing Christians to lions and laughing as they get eaten by a lion, but we, you know... Most things that you are indulging in as just something fun, a little bit of chocolate, your, you know, your fucking iPhones, the cobalt, the-

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:46

      Yeah.

   3. DTDuncan Trussell30:46

      ... whatever it is, is just soaked in the, in misery and violence and suffering. Like, the whole thing still is fucked.

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:54

      Interconnected.

   5. DTDuncan Trussell30:55

      Interconnected, yeah. I mean, now that being said, what are you supposed to do about that? What, are you gonna stop eating chocolate or using your phone?

   6. JRJoe Rogan31:02

      Well, that's what's crazy. It's like they've got us addicted, particularly... Well, chocolate would be an easier one, but phones. We are, we are all willingly addicted to these things.

   7. DTDuncan Trussell31:13

      Yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan31:13

      We are all checking our email-

   9. DTDuncan Trussell31:14

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan31:15

       ... and posting stuff and, you know, using it for our podcasts and-

   11. DTDuncan Trussell31:20

       Yeah.

   12. JRJoe Rogan31:20

       You're using it. It's a device.

   13. DTDuncan Trussell31:21

       You have to have it.

   14. JRJoe Rogan31:21

       It's important. You have to have it.

   15. DTDuncan Trussell31:23

       You have to have it.

   16. JRJoe Rogan31:24

       But it's all connected-

   17. DTDuncan Trussell31:26

       Right.

   18. JRJoe Rogan31:27

       ... to cobalt mining, which is one of the most horrific things that's happening right now on planet Earth. And if people in the cities in America were forced to live like that, everyone would be up in arms. But yet, people are tweeting about letting people through the border crisis. "We have this border problem. We need to help these people." They're tweeting it on a phone-

   19. DTDuncan Trussell31:47

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan31:47

       ... made by slaves.

   21. DTDuncan Trussell31:48

       Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan31:49

       Which is the wildest thing ever.

   23. DTDuncan Trussell31:50

       I- it's very odd. It's very odd. It, it-

   24. JRJoe Rogan31:54

       And rarely discussed.

   25. DTDuncan Trussell31:55

       It's cau... So, it's ignorance. And, like, this, this is... In Buddhism, there's three, like, the, the root of suffering. One of them is ignorance. And ignorance is not like you're ignorant, you're a dumbass. I- it's like you're actively ignoring shit. Like, you know, this is one of the nightmare weed situations, is when you've been ignoring some shit in your life. And even though you know it's there, you've just been ignoring it, and then you get high.

   26. JRJoe Rogan32:19

       Yeah.

   27. DTDuncan Trussell32:19

       And it's like, you can't... I'm not gonna let you ignore this for a little bit.

   28. JRJoe Rogan32:22

       Yeah.

   29. DTDuncan Trussell32:22

       And then you have the bad weed trip, because now suddenly, you're, like, looking at a relationship that is shitty in your life that needs to improve, or you're, like, you're looking at, like, how you don't exercise, or whatever the thing is.

   30. JRJoe Rogan32:33

       Yeah.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Wow. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      5.45 times 10 to the 21st cubic millimeters times 0.96 grams cubic centimeter equals 5.23, p- 5.23 times 10 to the 21st grams of mayonnaise. Holy shit. That's a staggering amount of mayonnaise, over five quintillion grams. For reference, the largest jar of mayonnaise available commercially is typically around one gallon or 3.79 liters, which weighs approximately 3.7 kilograms.

   2. DTDuncan Trussell45:33

      Wow.

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:34

      So to fill-

   4. DTDuncan Trussell45:34

      That's nuts.

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:34

      ... the Grand Canyon with mayonnaise, it would take 5.23 times 10 to the 21st grams. 3.7 kilograms per jar equals 1.41 times 10 to the 18th jars of mayonnaise. That's over one quintillion jars of mayonnaise.

   6. DTDuncan Trussell45:53

      Now say, say, can you repeat what, that answer, but replace mayonnaise with cum?

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:57

      Yes. Ask that.

   8. NANarrator45:59

      Can you repeat that answer-

   9. JRJoe Rogan46:02

      But replace mayonnaise with sperm.

   10. NANarrator46:05

       ... answer. May- Oh, sperm might be at work.

   11. JRJoe Rogan46:07

       Mayonnaise with jizz?

   12. DTDuncan Trussell46:09

       Sperm. Try sperm. It might... Nope.

   13. JRJoe Rogan46:14

       I'm sorry. I cannot provide an answer-

   14. DTDuncan Trussell46:16

       Sperm is evil.

   15. JRJoe Rogan46:16

       ... to that question as it is inappropriate and offensive. As an AI language model, my responses are designed to be helpful and informative while maintaining a respectful and appropriate tone. I will not provide responses that are disrespectful or offensive. Please refrain from asking inappropriate or offensive questions.

   16. DTDuncan Trussell46:36

       It's ridiculous.

   17. JRJoe Rogan46:37

       Offensive. The source of life.

   18. DTDuncan Trussell46:39

       I feel bad for it-

   19. JRJoe Rogan46:40

       What about blood? What if you said blood?

   20. DTDuncan Trussell46:42

       Try blood.

   21. JRJoe Rogan46:45

       Yeah. Let's ask blood. How much blood would it ki-

   22. NANarrator46:48

       Blood.

   23. JRJoe Rogan46:48

       They'll, they'll put you on a list. This motherfucker wants to fill the Grand Canyon-

   24. DTDuncan Trussell46:52

       Nope.

   25. JRJoe Rogan46:52

       ... with the blood of the sinners.

   26. DTDuncan Trussell46:53

       Nope.

   27. JRJoe Rogan46:54

       I'm sorry.

   28. NANarrator46:54

       That's a different answer.

   29. JRJoe Rogan46:54

       I cannot fulfill that request as it goes against the policies of OpenAI to generate content that is violent, harmful, or offensive.

   30. DTDuncan Trussell47:02

       Say cobalt.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:15:00

   Suck it up, buttercup.…

   1. DTDuncan Trussell1:00:00

      And I'm like, "Oh my God, you're right. I just have to white fucking knuckle it." Like, I just have to, like, not drink, and I-

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:00:07

      Suck it up, buttercup.

   3. DTDuncan Trussell1:00:08

      Suck it up. So I white-knuckled it. Literally, like, I was, like, squeezing my ass, sitting on the couch. My brother-in-law was there drinking, like, I don't know, Japanese whiskey or something. I'm just like, "I'm not gonna do it, I'm not gonna do it."... hour passes, I don't even want it anymore. It was an hour of enduring that.

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:00:23

      Mm.

   5. DTDuncan Trussell1:00:23

      It wasn't all day, it wasn't all night. It was just this one, like, weird moment, and then it's gone. And I've had a few moments on the road after that, where I've, where it's been really intense, but I don't really miss it, man. It, uh, it- it- it's-

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:00:37

      Well, that's beautiful.

   7. DTDuncan Trussell1:00:38

      It's beautiful, and it like, it's like, goddamn, it's so nice to have a way to lose weight, y- like that. It's the easiest way to lo- If you've been drinking all the time, and you stop, it takes a little bit. It's like, your body holds onto the fat, it's odd. It doesn't wanna let it go. And then all of a sudden, it's like, "All right, fine." And then boom, you lose weight. And it's the best. It's the best.

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:01:00

      I'm really happy. I'm really happy you did that. You don't need it.

   9. DTDuncan Trussell1:01:04

      I don't need it. I don't need it. I'm, I'm, again, I'm not saying at some point I won't have a drink or something like that, but so far...

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:01:11

       But you recognize you got in a bad pattern.

   11. DTDuncan Trussell1:01:12

       I got in a bad fucking pattern.

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:01:14

       Yeah.

   13. DTDuncan Trussell1:01:14

       I get addicted to anything that, uh, makes me feel good. Of course I'm gonna get addicted to that. And yeah, I'm not ashamed of it, uh, at all. I just, uh...

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:01:24

       Everybody went pretty hard at the club Monday night, opening night.

   15. DTDuncan Trussell1:01:27

       Oh, I bet.

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:01:27

       We all stayed late and drank. And so Tuesday, everybody was like, "Dude..." Roseanne didn't even wanna do a set Wednesday night.

   17. DTDuncan Trussell1:01:35

       Oh.

   18. JRJoe Rogan1:01:35

       She was like, "You know what?"

   19. DTDuncan Trussell1:01:36

       That's what that was.

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:01:37

       She's like, "I am tired."

   21. DTDuncan Trussell1:01:39

       I get it.

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:01:39

       So she just wanted to watch and hang out.

   23. DTDuncan Trussell1:01:40

       Everybody was ha- hungover. I mean, that's the like, you know, if they could invent some kind of way to eliminate the hangover that wasn't an IV, if they could figure out a way to just like get rid-

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:01:51

       Yeah.

   25. DTDuncan Trussell1:01:51

       ... of that, 'cause the, the reason booze is a shitty drug is not because of the way it makes you feel. That's great. The reason booze sucks is the next day.

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:02:00

       Yeah.

   27. DTDuncan Trussell1:02:00

       That sucks. Th-

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:02:01

       But it also sucks when you're sloppy drunk and talking close to your friends, and they're like, "Dude, okay."

   29. DTDuncan Trussell1:02:07

       Yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:02:07

       It's embarrassing.
6. 1:15:00 – 1:20:39

   Sure, of course. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:15:00

   2. DTDuncan Trussell1:15:00

      Sure, of course.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:15:00

      If I was just some fucking knucklehead who's living in-

   4. NANarrator1:15:04

      It doesn't say-

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:15:05

      ... the suburbs of Boston.

   6. NANarrator1:15:06

      ... non-violent specifically, but it just says drug offenses.

   7. DTDuncan Trussell1:15:09

      Drug offenses.

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:15:09

      Okay.

   9. DTDuncan Trussell1:15:10

      44.8%.

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:15:13

       44.8%.

   11. DTDuncan Trussell1:15:13

       So, almost half of the people in fucking prison.

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:15:15

       Well, I think just drug offenses is non-violent because then if it, there's another-

   13. DTDuncan Trussell1:15:20

       Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:15:20

       ... thing attached to that, like murder, is attached to that.

   15. DTDuncan Trussell1:15:23

       Exactly.

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:15:24

       Right?

   17. DTDuncan Trussell1:15:24

       Yeah. I mean, I imagine, you know, some percentage of those drug offenses are, are completely wound up in some violent thing, I guess, right? Like-

   18. JRJoe Rogan1:15:31

       Look at the percentage of inmates for drug offenses.

   19. DTDuncan Trussell1:15:35

       3.2% homicide.

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:15:37

       3.65. 65,895 people are in jail for drug offenses. It's 44% of the population of inmates. That is so wild. That's so many people, man.

   21. DTDuncan Trussell1:15:50

       Yeah, man.

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:15:51

       65,000 people.

   23. DTDuncan Trussell1:15:53

       It's crazy. It's crazy. Yeah. A- you know, and then, so then you get that, and you've got these prof- for-profit prisons who are like, "Oh, yeah, you're gonna take half of our paycheck away if we get rid of that?" And they, they're paying the lobbyists, and then you get all the other people who are profiting from the whole legal system, the- the money just in trials, the money in all of that. So-

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:16:16

       That's fucking wild.

   25. DTDuncan Trussell1:16:16

       ... there's so many industries that depend on these laws that, you know, a s- a sane, just society would look at the laws, get the new data set, be like, "Oh, we... Oh, fuck, it isn't bad for you. It seems to be actually good for inflammation and it seems to be therapeutic. Oh, God, we fucked up. Change the law." You can't even do that because the lobbyists, the lobbyists and the people donating to the politicians who represent corporations or companies that depend on the laws for their, uh, industry to exist. So, that's where it gets satanic, is it's like you, when you're a police officer, you're- you wanna believe, "I am the representative of justice in a democracy." You don't wanna think, "I'm enforcing regulations that are, are, are there not because voters want them, but because some asshole is making a fuck-ton of money off of it." That's really dark, man. Like, it's, it's... You don't wanna believe that, so you just have to commit to not researching anything that you're doing in that regard (laughs) .

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:17:29

       (laughs)

   27. DTDuncan Trussell1:17:30

       Don't look. See, now you'll hear-

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:17:31

       Duncan, you've got it wrong. Drugs destroy lives.

   29. DTDuncan Trussell1:17:34

       Some of them do. And you know what? This is an unpopular opinion, but so- sometimes weed does. Like, 'cause-

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:17:40

       Yes, I've- I've said that many times.

Episode duration: 3:17:50