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Joe Rogan Experience #1966 - Big Jay Oakerson & Ari Shaffir

Big Jay Oakerson is a stand-up comic, on-air personality, and podcaster. He's a host of "The Legion of Skanks", "SDR Show", and "The Bonfire" podcasts, and has a new comedy special, "Dog Belly", premiering April 5 on YouTube. www.bigjaycomedy.com Ari Shaffir is a stand-up comic and the host of "The Skeptic Tank" and "You Be Trippin'" podcasts. His latest special, "Ari Shaffir: Jew," is available now via YouTube.www.arishaffir.com

Joe RoganhostBig Jay OakersonguestAri ShaffirguestJamie Vernonguest
Jun 27, 20243h 22mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

  1. 0:00 – 15:00

    (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast,…

    1. JR

      (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

    2. NA

      The Joe Rogan Experience. (energetic music plays)

    3. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.

    4. JR

      And we're up.

    5. BO

      Yeah, the NXIVM cult is the one that I still haven't watched that documentary.

    6. AS

      Wow.

    7. BO

      I've been watching this doc-... I, I've got a bit about the place that I used... that I bought before I bought the mothership.

    8. AS

      Yeah.

    9. BO

      'Cause it's about a place that was owned by a cult, so I've been watching the documentary on the cult. It's called Holy Hell. It's so fucking crazy. I've been watching it... I've watched it three or four times to try to, like, find the angles for the bit.

    10. AS

      Yeah.

    11. BO

      Because the guy who ran it was a gay porn star who was also a hypnotist.

    12. JR

      (laughs) That's right. It's, it's such a powerful combination.

    13. BO

      And he, all he wore was Speedos-

    14. AS

      I mean... (laughs)

    15. BO

      ... and eyeliner. And this, this dude ran this cult for 20 fucking years, and they kicked him out and sent him to Hawaii.

    16. AS

      (laughs)

    17. BO

      And now he's, he's running in Hawaii. At the end of the documentary, the guy goes to visit the guy in Hawaii. Now he's old and fucked-up looking, he's had a bunch of plastic surgery, like fake cheeks and his lips are done and everything like... He looks like a monster. And he's still got these pe- people following around, and opening the doors for him, and he sits down and he talks like a guru.

    18. AS

      (laughs)

    19. BO

      Complete con artist.

    20. AS

      Did they show his porns?

    21. BO

      Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

    22. AS

      How, how was it?

    23. BO

      Oh, yeah. They just block out where the dick is going in the ass.

    24. AS

      Yeah.

    25. BO

      He's pounding this guy from behind-

    26. AS

      (laughs) Okay.

    27. BO

      ... and then he's doing, uh, like a push-up. He's doing, like, a plank, and this guy is underneath him and he's holding onto the guy's... the guy's holding onto his hips, and he's just mouth-fucking this guy.

    28. AS

      Nice. Okay. (laughs)

    29. BO

      While, while his, while his legs are completely suspended in the air.

    30. AS

      Oh, he's just... Okay, doing workouts.

  2. 15:00 – 30:00

    (laughs) …

    1. BO

      it's a cult. And they're like, "Well, if we're in a cult, at least we're in a good one."

    2. JR

      (laughs)

    3. BO

      (laughs) And it was for a long time, until one guy leaves the cult and sends out a mass email. It's like, "Hey, man this guy's been hypnotizing me-

    4. AS

      Because it's the '90s.

    5. BO

      ... and fucking me for the past 10 years."

    6. AS

      Really?

    7. BO

      Yeah.

    8. JR

      He found out he was being hypnotized?

    9. BO

      Oh, I mean, he's doing hypnotherapy on them.

    10. JR

      Right. Remember in Bo- remember in Boston that hypno-

    11. BO

      He's putting them in states.

    12. JR

      Remember in Boston that hypnotist?

    13. BO

      Frank Santos.

    14. JR

      Yeah. And we saw a g- a door guy pass out.

    15. BO

      Yeah.

    16. JR

      He tried to do the whole room and a door guy off to the left was just gone and somebody pointed it out to him.

    17. BO

      Yeah.

    18. JR

      That guy would be, would be... That door guy would be, like, a candidate.

    19. BO

      Yes. Yeah. Well, when we used to do stitches when, uh, Greg Simmons and I were coming up in Boston, Frank Santos was the fucking man. And we would all go watch because it was a comedy hypnotism show.

    20. JR

      It was fun.

    21. BO

      And he would put people under. And some people he couldn't put under. Some people he would just in fr... 'Cause you're doing it. It's not like... You could get hypnotized if you wanted to in a relaxed setting. I had it done once. It's very interesting.

    22. JR

      And you... Yeah.

    23. BO

      My friend Vinnie Shorman, he hypnotizes fighters. And he, he gets to, like, get to the root of, like, whatever their conflict in their mind is-

    24. JR

      Oh.

    25. BO

      ... and try to sort things out, make 'em perform better.

    26. AS

      It's not what you're thinking. That's, that's why I always don't believe in it, is 'cause it's not what I'm... They're not, like, you know, when your eyes are open, like, "Walk that way."

    27. BO

      Maybe not you.

    28. AS

      Yeah. But some pe-

    29. BO

      Here's my concern. Maybe some people, you can do that to.

    30. AS

      Yeah.

  3. 30:00 – 45:00

    And they're selling, and…

    1. BO

      fall into that.

    2. SP

      And they're selling, and they're selling it as TikTok is doing this. TikTok is subverting our elections, or TikTok-

    3. JV

      They're not even selling it that way.

    4. SP

      ... is subverting our economy. So we have to be careful of, no?

    5. BO

      They're not even selling it that way. They're not even selling it that way.

    6. JV

      They're selling it as, (clears throat) "These, these countries are the foreign adversaries that may do bad stuff."

    7. SP

      So they're like, "It's a risk that they're gonna do something bad with this."

    8. JV

      Yeah. Like they've listed using a VPN as a way to subvert that, which would be-

    9. SP

      What?

    10. JV

      ... illegal-

    11. SP

      Dude-

    12. JV

      ... and you get a gigantic fine-

    13. SP

      Ugh.

    14. JV

      ... and maybe 20 years in prison.

    15. SP

      What? To use a VPN here? Ugh. How do you steal-

    16. BO

      Imagine-

    17. SP

      (laughs) How do you steal-

    18. JV

      They're gonna criminalize that?

    19. SP

      Who's gonna wreck that?

    20. BO

      Imagine-

    21. JV

      If everybody says to get that-

    22. BO

      ... they're gonna criminalize VPNs.

    23. JV

      I'm always told to get a VPN.

    24. SP

      VPN. Yeah, you should get a VPN.

    25. BO

      "Potentially criminalizing the use of a VPN service or side-loading to access services blocked from doing business in the United States under the act, due to the text stating that no person may cause or aid, abet, counsel, command, induce, procure, permit, or approve of the doing of any act that violates the orders issued under the act." What?

    26. SP

      Oh, that's so confusing.

    27. BO

      Bro, they're trying to gain more power. This is creepy. This is not-

    28. SP

      Don't do it.

    29. BO

      ... good. And I just gotta hope that people wise up and don't pass this. Does it seem like this is something that they're, they're passing?

    30. JV

      Uh, I don't know that it's gotten that far. I know it's been proposed, but-

  4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

    Yeah. …

    1. AS

      someone's made, like, a batch of, like, you know, weed brownies or something-

    2. BO

      Yeah.

    3. AS

      ... and you go, "Well, what if all the weeds and w-"

    4. BO

      Yeah.

    5. AS

      How do you fucking possibly know that?

    6. SP

      Yeah.

    7. AS

      They, they don't. Each one's 30 grams. (laughs)

    8. SP

      You had a bit about it-

    9. BO

      Ari and I were on the front lines.

    10. SP

      ... the 1X, 2X, 3X days.

    11. BO

      Yeah.

    12. SP

      Yeah.

    13. BO

      Yeah, because I had a bit about the gummy bear when the guy told me, "Take just the leg."... I go-

    14. SP

      Oh, yeah.

    15. BO

      ... "What?"

    16. SP

      (laughs)

    17. BO

      I'm like, "Why the fuck are you selling whole bears?"

    18. SP

      Yeah. (laughs)

    19. BO

      It was so ridiculous.

    20. AS

      (laughs)

    21. BO

      They were so strong. You remember those gummies?

    22. SP

      Those gummies hermanos.

    23. BO

      Bro, they were-

    24. AS

      Yeah, they were strong.

    25. SP

      They ruled.

    26. BO

      They were so strong. But like-

    27. AS

      That's what I'm saying, if you just took it-

    28. BO

      Nobody really-

    29. AS

      Is there possibly no weed in the-

    30. BO

      No.

  5. 1:00:00 – 1:01:35

    Dude, he, he- …

    1. SP

      like, for whatever's going on, she was hyper emotional and screaming and crying and he was, like, kinda like, "Eh," just bickering about whatever, you know?

    2. BO

      Dude, he, he-

    3. SP

      This, this, this, and then they just, they let him go.

    4. BO

      And then what did they do? Probably a sociopath, right?

    5. SP

      Yeah.

    6. BO

      He probably figured out how to con the cops and-

    7. SP

      To be that cop?

    8. BO

      ... he killed her. He killed her right afterwards. Yeah, he killed her and then- Oh, fuck. ... either he killed himself. It's, it's, it's hard to-

    9. SP

      In the woods?

    10. BO

      No, because I think, like, the alligators got to him. Oh, shit. I think-

    11. SP

      What?

    12. BO

      ... I think when they found his body, he had been consumed.

    13. SP

      Oh, yeah. He was all, he was-

    14. BO

      Yeah.

    15. SP

      ... pieces all over the place.

    16. BO

      I think some things had consumed him. It might be pigs, too. There's a lot of wild pigs out there. But the pigs will eat everything.

    17. SP

      Right.

    18. BO

      They'll eat, they'll eat your bones, man. They'll eat everything. If you leave a body-

    19. SP

      Yeah.

    20. BO

      ... where pigs are, that's the thing about Snatch. We had a forensic psychologist on, on Tony, Kill Tony yesterday. We asked him if that was a good way to kill, uh, people. He said, "Yeah." The remains were described as skeletal, were confirmed using dental records. Oh, Brian Laundrie. Holy shit, that's a different one. No, that's the guy.

    21. SP

      That's the guy.

    22. BO

      Oh, that's the guy. Look at him with his hair, with the sunglasses. Oh, yeah. What an amazing picture. He never lost that fucking hair. I mean, that is such an American person.

    23. SP

      (laughs)

    24. BO

      Yeah. Oh my Lord. I mean, Dog the Bounty Hunter might be the most American guy that's ever lived. Look at the gold chain hanging from his neck.

    25. SP

      The Oakleys.

    26. BO

      The Oakleys. (laughs)

    27. SP

      He's got the clear chest.

    28. BO

      The bleach blonde, long ass, beautiful hair for an old dude. Beautiful hair. For an old dude, I mean, he's got some-

    29. SP

      Yeah.

    30. BO

      ... rocker hair from the '80s. Red skin. He's got some poison hair. Look at his skin.

Episode duration: 3:22:02

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