Joe Rogan Experience #1969 - Sam Tallent

Narrator 0:00 (drumming music plays) Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience.

Joe Rogan 0:06 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music plays) Oh, wow. You have been running some talent. Get them headphones and join the fucking party. Get the microphone up about, like, a fist from your face. Yeah.

Sam Tallent 0:21 Jamie, how's this? Do I sound powerful and elegant?

Narrator 0:25 You are.

Sam Tallent 0:25 Thank you.

Joe Rogan 0:26 Bro, you are powerful and elegant.

Sam Tallent 0:28 Thanks, man.

Joe Rogan 0:29 You are enough.

Sam Tallent 0:30 (laughs) I appreciate that.

Joe Rogan 0:31 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 0:31 I'm good enough.

Joe Rogan 0:32 I had a friend of mine, and, uh, she was asking me something just about comedy. And I go, "I just... I... You know, no one li-... I don't like my stuff. Like, no one likes their stuff."

Sam Tallent 0:42 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 0:42 "Like, you see it too much, it just, like, it gets in your head." And you're like, "Ugh." You're like, you gotta... I look at it like a hater, and she goes, "I just want you to know, no matter what, that you are enough." I go, "What?"

Sam Tallent 0:54 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:54 I go, "No, no, no. That's not what I'm saying." I'm not saying, like, like, I don't like my stuff, like I have a problem-

Sam Tallent 0:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:59 ... like I'm a crazy per-... No, I'm just, like, that's just the process.

Sam Tallent 1:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02 Like, I feel good.

Sam Tallent 1:03 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:04 Like, if... But that thing that people say to people, "You are enough. I just want you to know that you are enough."

Sam Tallent 1:09 Look, I don't need validation from you, lady. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:12 (laughs) She's a nice lady.

Sam Tallent 1:13 I'm sure she's a nice lady.

Joe Rogan 1:13 She's a very nice lady. She's not-

Sam Tallent 1:14 But I don't think you're going to her to be like, "Can you hold my hand through this difficult period?"

Joe Rogan 1:18 I think some people do do that to people, and they go fishing for that kind of response.

Sam Tallent 1:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:22 That, "You are enough." I'm like, "No, no, I'm, I'm okay."

Sam Tallent 1:24 It's like, look, I know, all right?

Joe Rogan 1:26 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 1:26 Look, look around, lady. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:28 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 1:28 I kind of, uh, made Austin a thing. Yeah, I know I'm okay. I mean, it's sweet of her, but...

Joe Rogan 1:32 No, she's awesome.

Sam Tallent 1:33 I also hate watching my shit, dude. It's-

Joe Rogan 1:35 You hate it?

Sam Tallent 1:36 That'd be my Guantanamo.

Joe Rogan 1:37 (sighs) Dude.

Sam Tallent 1:38 Them making me watch all my old specials? Yuck.

Joe Rogan 1:40 Oh, goddammit.

Sam Tallent 1:41 Or, like, a YouTube clip from, like, 2007?

Joe Rogan 1:44 That's the thing that you have to do, too, like, um, uh, when working on new material.

Sam Tallent 1:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:48 I either watch it or listen to it.

Sam Tallent 1:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:50 Have to listen to it. Just have to. I gotta know, like, what makes me groan? What makes me go, "Yuck"?

Sam Tallent 1:55 What's the cringe in there?

Joe Rogan 1:56 Yeah, what's the yuck?

Sam Tallent 1:57 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:57 How do I cut the yuck out of that?

Sam Tallent 1:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:59 It's just, like, you're gonna have that. You're- you gotta look at your act like you're a hater.

Sam Tallent 2:02 Oh, for sure.

Joe Rogan 2:03 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 2:03 I do, luckily.

Joe Rogan 2:05 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 2:05 I never have any moments where I'm like, "Oh, this is working out." I watch it, and I'm like, "Why is your leg like that? I can barely hear the joke."

Joe Rogan 2:11 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 2:12 I'm like, "Jesus Christ, look at your hair." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:14 (clapping)

Sam Tallent 2:14 "Where did that leave?"

Joe Rogan 2:15 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 2:15 (laughs) "Look how far that's receding, Jesus."

Joe Rogan 2:18 Yeah.

Sam Tallent 2:19 Have you always... How long have you been shaving your head?

Joe Rogan 2:21 Um, (inhales deeply) 12 years?

Sam Tallent 2:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:24 Something like that.

Sam Tallent 2:25 I'm going there, man.

Joe Rogan 2:26 Yeah, it's way better.

Sam Tallent 2:27 Yeah?

Joe Rogan 2:27 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't think about it anymore. It's like, oh, it's like one less thing to think about, if you have a good-shaped head.

Sam Tallent 2:33 I don't.

Joe Rogan 2:33 Like, peo-... Some people have flat heads.

Sam Tallent 2:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:35 Like, their head's flat, but now you got a new joke about having a flat head.

Sam Tallent 2:37 Yeah, then I have to turn around or have a mirror behind me.

Joe Rogan 2:39 That's fine.

Sam Tallent 2:40 (laughs) Yeah, it's all right.

Joe Rogan 2:41 Give 'em a little fucking-

Sam Tallent 2:41 I'm gonna get into props.

Joe Rogan 2:42 Just give 'em a little look of the flat.

Sam Tallent 2:43 (laughs) Yeah. No, I don't have a good head. It's bumpy. I think if I shaved my head, I would go muttonchops.

Joe Rogan 2:48 Mm.

Sam Tallent 2:48 I would leave the chops.

Joe Rogan 2:49 Why don't you go fucking full Sufi beard?

Sam Tallent 2:53 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:54 Yeah, just lower, just a lower beard, like, from Dagestan.

Sam Tallent 2:57 Just, just Amish- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:57 Yeah.

Sam Tallent 2:58 Yeah, right here?

Joe Rogan 2:58 Yeah, yeah, yeah, Amish.

Sam Tallent 2:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:59 Go underneath the chin.

Sam Tallent 3:00 Uh-huh?

Joe Rogan 3:00 Yeah.

Sam Tallent 3:00 Yeah, the apple butter.

Joe Rogan 3:01 Is that how the Amish do it?

Sam Tallent 3:01 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:01 They go underneath, right?

Sam Tallent 3:02 I think there's some kind of, like, recessive allele where they're not, like, God keeps them from having any hair on their cheeks.

Joe Rogan 3:08 There's so many Muslims who fight in the UFC who have shaved heads, and they grow a full-ass beard. There's the Amish one.

Sam Tallent 3:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:13 That's ridiculous.

Sam Tallent 3:14 So he is shaving it.

Joe Rogan 3:16 That shit is not catching on-

Sam Tallent 3:17 No.

Joe Rogan 3:17 ... with anybody.

Sam Tallent 3:18 No.

Joe Rogan 3:18 Yeah, that's a weird middle ground, right? Because he could eat food with no problem at all, which is, like, kind of a cop-out.

Sam Tallent 3:25 You know what he's not eating?

Joe Rogan 3:26 What?

Sam Tallent 3:26 Pussy.

Joe Rogan 3:27 Do they not eat pussy?

Sam Tallent 3:28 Those guys don't... I don't think so.

Joe Rogan 3:29 They're not allowed to eat pussy?

Sam Tallent 3:30 Those guys' forearms... Have you seen an Amish guy with his shirt off?

Joe Rogan 3:32 They jerk off a lot, I'm sure.

Sam Tallent 3:34 (laughs) Are you sure? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 3:35 But they have to do it, they have to do it to memory, right?

Sam Tallent 3:37 Yeah, I think so.

Joe Rogan 3:38 Like, they can't be watching porn.

Sam Tallent 3:39 No.

Joe Rogan 3:40 The Amish beards typically have-

Sam Tallent 3:41 They just have wood carvings. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 3:43 Uh, what did you say? Because Amish men shaved their mustaches off, you may be wondering how now if an Amish are allowed to shave. While married men may shave their mustaches only, unmarried men may shave their beards, too.

Sam Tallent 3:55 Oh.

Joe Rogan 3:55 The only prohibition on shaving applies to the beards of married men. Oh, okay, so it's like a wedding ring. So once you have a full beard, all the hos need to leave you the fuck alone.

Sam Tallent 4:05 Yeah, it's like, "Hey, I'm taken, ladies."

Joe Rogan 4:07 That's what it is. Yeah, he's taken, bitches.

Sam Tallent 4:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:08 That's why he's grown this gross-ass beard.

Sam Tallent 4:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:10 It's not-

Sam Tallent 4:10 God forbid they see your chin.

Joe Rogan 4:12 Isn't it funny that you're on The Market Place if you don't have a beard?

Sam Tallent 4:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:15 They're like, "Is that this guy-"

Sam Tallent 4:16 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 4:16 "... out there with no beard."

Sam Tallent 4:17 Yeah, you're swinging your peacock in.

Joe Rogan 4:18 Yeah, imagine the fucking Mrs. Amish and Mr. Amish have a fight, and he just said, "Watch this, bitch."

Sam Tallent 4:23 Just half of it. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:24 Just shaves his beard off on her-

Sam Tallent 4:26 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:26 ... halfway out the door.

Sam Tallent 4:27 She starts crying, runs outside, makes some butter real quick. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:32 (laughs) Make some butter.

Sam Tallent 4:34 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 4:34 Di- di- they don't have any electricity. They make their own houses.

Sam Tallent 4:37 I th- dude, those Amish, the way they raise houses so quick.

Joe Rogan 4:41 Oh, they're really good at it.

Sam Tallent 4:42 Yeah. And then Mennonites, they're, you know, they're, like, rough around the edges.

Joe Rogan 4:46 (smacks lips) I don't know any Mennonites, but I did meet one with Ari Shaffir at the airport, and I found out because she- he asked her.

Sam Tallent 4:51 "What are you?" Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:52 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 4:52 Classic Ari.

Joe Rogan 4:53 Oh, no, it wasn't at the airport. I'm sorry. It was at a rest stop. It was at a rest stop in Massachusetts, I think. I think we were in between gigs, just driving to a gig.

Sam Tallent 5:02 "What are you?"

Joe Rogan 5:03 (laughs) I was like, "Why don't you ask her?"

Sam Tallent 5:05 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:05 "What are you?"

Sam Tallent 5:06 "Yeah, what- what- what is that?"

Joe Rogan 5:07 "Yeah."

Sam Tallent 5:08 "Just wearing an outfit."

Joe Rogan 5:09 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 5:09 "Just a little- what's up with the bonnet?"

Joe Rogan 5:11 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 5:11 "Which one are you?"

Joe Rogan 5:12 It is fucking weird though, man. That it's- it's... You know what's weird, is that when people do a really shitty job, it's a cult. When they do a really good job, it's a religion. But it's basically the same system that it works on in the human brain.

Sam Tallent 5:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:28 It works on the same mechanisms. Like, someone has all the answers, and they have a connection to a higher power.

Sam Tallent 5:34 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 5:34 That's why... You know, one of the things that creeps me out about, um, uh, atheism, it's not atheism itself. It's that, I think, that tendency to just find a group of ideas that you will wholesale subscribe to is, like, built into us. I think it's a cultural thing, like war. And I think when people don't have that-... if, if it's not, like if they don't have Christianity or Islam or Buddhism or Judaism, whatever they don't have, they'll put it into something else. I think that, I think it's a normal part of being a person for some strange reason.

Sam Tallent 6:12 Well, yeah, it's, we were trying to find community all the time, right?

Joe Rogan 6:14 Uh-huh.

Sam Tallent 6:14 We're seeking, uh, ways to like make whatever our small group is, uh, be safe and maybe work with other like-minded groups. And when it comes to, like, atheism, it's wild when people become fundamental about that.

Joe Rogan 6:26 Yeah.

Sam Tallent 6:26 You know? Like when you're devout to the idea of atheism, it's like-

Joe Rogan 6:29 Exactly.

Sam Tallent 6:29 ... I don't think there's anything after this, you know, but I'm also not gonna like become an apostate from any other ideas, you know.

Joe Rogan 6:37 I don't know why anybody would be sure one way or the other.

Sam Tallent 6:40 Oh, I don't know, 'cause you have to be, I think.

Joe Rogan 6:42 Unless some... Well, it would help you if you were.

Sam Tallent 6:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:45 So the thing about it, like Jordan Peterson says this, that you should live your life as if God is real.

Sam Tallent 6:51 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 6:51 And if you live your life as if God is real, you, you will definitely live a better life. I was like, that's a very interesting way of thinking about it because if you're wrong, there's no consequences.

Sam Tallent 7:00 Right.

Joe Rogan 7:00 'Cause you j- you just die. But if you're living that way, at the very least, you'll have less anxiety.

Sam Tallent 7:06 Oh, for sure.

Joe Rogan 7:07 You'll have more of a sense of purpose.

Sam Tallent 7:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:09 And you'll probably do the right thing more often, 'cause you'll be sort of like aiming to that, like looking to do, like as a good Christian... Like I, I know a lot of people that are Christian that are really good people and it's because they aim towards that. They think about that all the time.

Sam Tallent 7:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:25 They think about, what would God want me to do? They think about, what does God teach? And they, like, they're aiming in that. They're still human. They're still... We're all fucked.

Sam Tallent 7:32 For sure.

Joe Rogan 7:33 But they're aiming in that direction.

Sam Tallent 7:34 Let's underline that. We are all fucked.

Joe Rogan 7:36 Yeah, yeah. We're all fucked. The whole-

Sam Tallent 7:37 Let's not forget that.

Joe Rogan 7:38 The whole population is fucked.

Sam Tallent 7:38 I don't like when people do things, uh, because they are trying to cash checks in heaven.

Joe Rogan 7:42 Hmm.

Sam Tallent 7:43 I do like it when you're just doing it-

Joe Rogan 7:44 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 7:44 ... because it's the right thing to do.

Joe Rogan 7:45 Mm-hmm.

Sam Tallent 7:46 Like when a home, when you give a homeless guy five bucks and he's like, "God bless you."

Joe Rogan 7:49 Yeah.

Sam Tallent 7:49 I'm the kinda dickhead who's like, there's no God involved in this.

Joe Rogan 7:52 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 7:52 This is one man trying to help one man.

Joe Rogan 7:54 Yeah, but-

Sam Tallent 7:55 I'm doing this because I think it's gonna benefit you, not because I'm trying, you know, trying to get up to the big man.

Joe Rogan 7:59 That's true, but maybe he's saying, "God bless you," like he's so happy-

Sam Tallent 8:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:03 ... that you did that for him.

Sam Tallent 8:05 It's the nicest thing he knows how to say.

Joe Rogan 8:07 That he really hope... Yes, he really hopes good things happen to you as well.

Sam Tallent 8:09 Sure. I know.

Joe Rogan 8:10 It's a weird thing, right?

Sam Tallent 8:11 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 8:11 Because like you, you feel like if you buy into it, you're being a dupe. You're getting duped, you know? Oh, they got you. They got you with that nonsense. What'd they get you, that Mormonism shit?

Sam Tallent 8:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:20 Yeah, you think you're gonna get your own planet when you die, stupid.

Sam Tallent 8:22 Right, which is pretty cool. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:23 Yeah.

Sam Tallent 8:23 Let's be honest. If you're gonna pick one.

Joe Rogan 8:26 I have a, a friend in California and she was a Mormon for a long time and, uh, she decided to stop being a Mormon and when she decided to stop being a Mormon, one of the craziest things that she said was, she goes, "I realized that I was way more vulnerable to like s- like weird culty stuff, like spirituality and yoga and that kind..." She goes, "I felt like because I'd accepted devout Mormonism my whole life, I d- hadn't questioned anything." That as an adult questioning... Like she left, I think she left in her late 30s or 40s. So as an adult, like she be- just became vulnerable to like kinda hucksters.

Sam Tallent 9:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:03 Energy healers and ra- you know, that kinda shit. Like it seemed like, oh, that makes sense.

Sam Tallent 9:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:09 Like that's, that's what I'm looking... Like there's a fucking program in our head where we wanna believe nonsense and whether that program is attached to the Republican Party-

Sam Tallent 9:19 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 9:19 ... or whether it's attached to being a fucking Buddhist or-

Sam Tallent 9:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:22 ... being a... Did you see the Dalai Lama sucking on that kid's tongue?

Sam Tallent 9:25 Of course, yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:25 What the fuck?

Sam Tallent 9:26 (laughs) Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:27 Could you... What?

Sam Tallent 9:28 Slurping a boy tongue.

Joe Rogan 9:29 In front of a bunch of people.

Sam Tallent 9:31 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:32 Like what-

Sam Tallent 9:32 A whole bunch of people.

Joe Rogan 9:33 What the fuck?

Sam Tallent 9:35 (laughs) You thought you were gonna get away with this?

Joe Rogan 9:37 What the, what the fuck?

Sam Tallent 9:39 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:39 What the fuck is that? I watched it, I was like, "This is wild."

Sam Tallent 9:43 Oh.

Joe Rogan 9:44 I remember they tried to cancel him a few years back because, uh, he was talking about marriage and they said, "You have a, you took a vow of celibacy. Like, how do you feel about this?" And he's like, "I have so many friends and, uh, they're married and, uh, and then they get divorced and they're not happy and then the woman takes all their money. Ha ha ha ha."

Sam Tallent 10:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:05 And this woman said something to the tune of, "Well, you know, some women, um, they make money too." He's like, "Ha, good one." (laughs)

Sam Tallent 10:14 (laughs) High five.

Joe Rogan 10:15 It was, it was something, something, "Oh, sure." Uh.

Sam Tallent 10:18 (laughs) Yeah, now I've heard everything, lady.

Joe Rogan 10:19 It was one of those-

Sam Tallent 10:21 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:21 ... fucking... It was a weird interview man, but it was weird like, he's like-

Sam Tallent 10:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:25 ... parroting out these tropes.

Sam Tallent 10:27 Right.

Joe Rogan 10:27 You know, about, uh, marriage and divorce and it's really funny. It's like, 'cause some of them fail, but this is supposed to be a spiritual leader.

Sam Tallent 10:34 Right, he's supposed to be like-

Joe Rogan 10:36 Yeah.

Sam Tallent 10:36 ... completely ascended and bigger than any thought.

Joe Rogan 10:38 He's also supposed to be, he's supposed to be saying that some marriages are wonderful-

Sam Tallent 10:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:43 ... and beautiful.

Sam Tallent 10:43 No.

Joe Rogan 10:43 'Cause they are.

Sam Tallent 10:44 Right.

Joe Rogan 10:44 Like for him to say, "Oh, what I heard is they take your money."

Sam Tallent 10:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:48 Like grow-

Sam Tallent 10:48 Well, it's like your dad's friend who doesn't get laid anymore, you ever hang out with him at the bar, you know?

Joe Rogan 10:52 Yeah, but your dad's friend who doesn't get laid anymore doesn't have a video of him sucking on a kid's tongue.

Sam Tallent 10:55 He might.

Joe Rogan 10:56 Like what the fuck, man?

Sam Tallent 10:58 It's probably a VHS tape. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:01 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 11:01 He's, he's got it on laser disc. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:04 It's f- what, did they record? I don't think laser discs record.

Sam Tallent 11:07 (laughs) I have no idea.

Joe Rogan 11:08 I don't think they did. That's hilarious.

Sam Tallent 11:10 Uh, the Dalai Lama also said at one point, he was like, "We gotta keep, uh, Europe for Europeans."

Joe Rogan 11:15 Yeah, I heard that too. That is-

Sam Tallent 11:16 He was like, "Too many refugees are coming in." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:17 ... that was crazy.

Sam Tallent 11:19 I know. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:19 Like what the fuck are you saying, man?

Sam Tallent 11:21 It's like, hey, Dalai Lama, just let the kids sit on your lap. That's enough.

Joe Rogan 11:24 Yeah, hey, dude, how about don't do that?

Sam Tallent 11:27 Quit smooching the kids in general.

Joe Rogan 11:28 Yeah, don't l- tell a kid to suck your tongue.

Sam Tallent 11:30 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:31 Is there a, a-

Sam Tallent 11:31 Especially not on camera.

Joe Rogan 11:32 That seems like there should be jail time for something like that. Like what is that?

Sam Tallent 11:35 I don't think he can get in trouble.

Joe Rogan 11:37 In Tibet, sticking out one's tongue is known as a traditional greeting stemming from a ninth century myth about an unpopular king with a black tongue.

Sam Tallent 11:46 His tongue was doing blackface.

Joe Rogan 11:47 When the king died, the Tibetans realed- revealing their tongues to show they hadn't become as incarnate. Whoa. Tongue sucking does not ve- are part of the tradition. (laughs)

Sam Tallent 11:55 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:55 That's where you crossed the line.

Sam Tallent 11:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:57 If they just stuck tongues at each other, bro, you would, you would've escaped scot-free.

Sam Tallent 12:01 The PR team is working hard spin on that one. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:03 Hard spin.

Sam Tallent 12:04 We got-

Joe Rogan 12:04 Wait 'til Rachel Maddow gets ahold of it.

Sam Tallent 12:06 I know. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:06 She'll find a way. She'll find a way.

Narrator 12:08 It happened in February and it, it came out like a week, couple days ago, which is kinda weird.

Sam Tallent 12:12 So it's a hit campaign against the Lama?

Narrator 12:14 Yeah, it's like a few weeks old.

Joe Rogan 12:16 I saw him talk once.

Sam Tallent 12:17 Well, sometimes it just takes a while for something like that to catch.

Joe Rogan 12:20 Oh, yeah.

Narrator 12:21 Sometimes.

Joe Rogan 12:21 Yeah. (laughs)

Sam Tallent 12:21 But today-

Joe Rogan 12:22 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 12:22 ... I mean, if it was Don Lemon, I would say, yeah, they're trying to get rid of him.

Narrator 12:26 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 12:26 But if it was, if the Dalai Lama-

Joe Rogan 12:28 I don't think they can get him out.

Sam Tallent 12:29 Yeah, I don't know. I have no idea why it would've came out.

Joe Rogan 12:30 How do you get out the Dalai La- the Dalai Lama was bor-... Like, if it was like... And, and I don't even mean to pick on Don Lemon. I'm saying like someone who's on television, if it was something like... But even then, it's like people... If they... If that information's available, like if someone... Look how many people were there.

Sam Tallent 12:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:45 That's obviously like a cellphone footage, right?

Sam Tallent 12:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:47 Is that what it is?

Sam Tallent 12:47 Well, it was a fundraiser for some kind of like Indian tech company.

Joe Rogan 12:50 How wild.

Sam Tallent 12:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:52 How wild.

Sam Tallent 12:53 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 12:53 Just be kissing a kid in front of everybody.

Sam Tallent 12:55 Which is already too much.

Joe Rogan 12:57 At a tech company. Tongue kissing.

Sam Tallent 12:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:58 "Suck on my tongue." What are you talking about?

Sam Tallent 13:00 I've never had a kid that close to my own face where I could say, "Suck on my tongue."

Joe Rogan 13:05 Isn't it interesting? It's interesting like what we choose to consider intimate contact because hands, like if he had that boy's hand in his hand and he put his hand over it and said, "I wish you a wonderful happy life."

Sam Tallent 13:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:20 "You're, you're a beautiful human being and just go out there and be kind to everybody." Everybody would be, "That's cool."

Sam Tallent 13:24 It's a sweet gesture.

Joe Rogan 13:25 Yeah, sweet gesture.

Sam Tallent 13:26 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 13:27 When you h- like fully hug someone, you can hug them for a couple seconds.

Sam Tallent 13:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:31 You gotta let go.

Sam Tallent 13:32 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 13:32 You can't like stand there for f- 10 minutes just like rubbing their back. People go, "Hey, hey, hey, Dalai Lama, let the kid go."

Sam Tallent 13:40 (laughs) Hey, your robe is getting tented, Dalai.

Joe Rogan 13:41 "You violated the time." Yeah.

Sam Tallent 13:42 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:42 You broke the time clock.

Sam Tallent 13:44 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:44 There's a time clock that goes when someone hugs.

Sam Tallent 13:46 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 13:47 You get like a real good friend, it's like you got like a 10-second countdown.

Sam Tallent 13:50 Let it linger. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:51 10-second countdown.

Sam Tallent 13:52 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 13:52 10 seconds is a long time to be hugging someone.

Sam Tallent 13:54 Oh, it's a lot.

Joe Rogan 13:54 Like ready? Here- here's 10 seconds. And go.

Sam Tallent 13:57 So here we are. We're, we're touching chest to chest. Our genitals are near each other.

Joe Rogan 14:02 We're still hugging.

Sam Tallent 14:02 I can smell your neck right now.

Joe Rogan 14:03 We're still hugging.

Sam Tallent 14:04 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 14:05 All right, now we're done hugging.

Sam Tallent 14:05 Oh, man.

Joe Rogan 14:06 That's a kind of a hug.

Sam Tallent 14:07 It's a long ass hug.

Joe Rogan 14:07 But I've done that. I've done a 10-second hug with a good friend.

Sam Tallent 14:10 Sure. It feels good.

Joe Rogan 14:11 But not with a little boy that I don't know-

Sam Tallent 14:13 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 14:13 ... in the middle of nowhere.

Sam Tallent 14:14 Also, how did that boy get in there?

Joe Rogan 14:15 Wait, d- don't show me this. I don't wanna see this again.

Sam Tallent 14:17 (laughs) Oh, ho, ho.

Joe Rogan 14:18 I don't wanna see this.

Sam Tallent 14:19 He's-

Joe Rogan 14:19 That boy would snap back like a, like cobra ready to fucking strike.

Narrator 14:23 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:23 He's like, "Why are y- why are you making me suck your tongue, you old fucking weirdo?"

Sam Tallent 14:27 It's like when the noodle hits your lips finally (laughs) and it like snaps like the sound.

Joe Rogan 14:31 But what I'm getting at is like it's inter- it's interesting that like kissing is such an intimate act. I- like it clearly is. But I wonder how that got e- even got started, like people's breath must have been horrible back in the day.

Sam Tallent 14:40 Oh, there were rotting meat in there.

Joe Rogan 14:42 Oh, God. No-

Sam Tallent 14:43 Oh.

Joe Rogan 14:43 No dentists.

Sam Tallent 14:44 Yeah, just-

Joe Rogan 14:44 Your teeth all fell out.

Sam Tallent 14:45 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 14:46 And they most li- like they got knocked out. You probably got infections from cracked teeth, from getting hit-

Sam Tallent 14:51 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:51 ... with rock.

Sam Tallent 14:51 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 14:52 You know?

Sam Tallent 14:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:52 I bet a lot of people died from like mouth infections and shit.

Sam Tallent 14:55 Well, yeah. You're like trying to eat everything you find.

Joe Rogan 14:57 Yeah, you don't even know what's edible.

Sam Tallent 14:58 Yeah. Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 14:59 And w- when did they start kissing?

Sam Tallent 15:01 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 15:01 Let's find that out.

Sam Tallent 15:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:02 Let's take a guess. When do you think, uh, kissing was invented? What if it was like 1900? (laughs)

Sam Tallent 15:07 Yeah. Whenever France became a country. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:08 What if like nobody kissed until like the 1900s?

Sam Tallent 15:11 It was a revolution.

Joe Rogan 15:12 I'm gonna guess, I'm gonna guess it's like some Mesopotamia shit.

Sam Tallent 15:16 For sure.

Joe Rogan 15:16 Yeah, I'm gonna guess that it started like thousands of years ago.

Sam Tallent 15:18 Cradle of civilization.

Joe Rogan 15:20 Yeah.

Sam Tallent 15:20 I'd say pre-pyramids.

Joe Rogan 15:22 Pre... Whoa.

Sam Tallent 15:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:23 Strong.

Sam Tallent 15:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:24 Strong guess.

Sam Tallent 15:25 What else did you have to do back then?

Joe Rogan 15:27 Be, uh, make a toothbrush? Like why would you kiss somebody?

Sam Tallent 15:30 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:30 That seems crazy. People just wanna fuck.

Sam Tallent 15:32 They were figuring out what holes are safe, you know?

Joe Rogan 15:34 That's true.

Sam Tallent 15:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:35 But you could wash the body off, like eating pussy and blow jobs and stuff. That kinda makes sense. You just wanna get crazy.

Sam Tallent 15:41 I think blow jobs happened before sex did. I bet you went mouth first.

Joe Rogan 15:45 I doubt it. No.

Sam Tallent 15:45 There was fur covered hole down there.

Joe Rogan 15:47 Yeah, but-

Sam Tallent 15:47 You're gonna try and jam up in that thing?

Joe Rogan 15:48 Watch chimps. Chimps fuck each other.

Sam Tallent 15:50 No, I've watched chimps fuck, Joe, all right?

Joe Rogan 15:52 They hardly ever blow each other. I bet you have.

Sam Tallent 15:52 (laughs) Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:53 I bet you have.

Sam Tallent 15:53 I've been down that road.

Joe Rogan 15:54 So let's, let's... So your guess is pre-Dynastic Egypt, so-

Sam Tallent 15:58 Sure.

Joe Rogan 15:58 ... 5000, 6000 years ago.

Sam Tallent 15:59 I just said pyramids, but yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:01 Yeah.

Sam Tallent 16:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:01 Well, that's like 5000 years ago.

Sam Tallent 16:02 Okay.

Joe Rogan 16:03 F- supposedly. They don't even really know. Um, what do you think? Jamie, what's-

Narrator 16:07 I've got, I've got two answers I was trying to figure out which one's right.

Joe Rogan 16:09 But what was your question? What, did you, you didn't have one?

Narrator 16:11 I didn't have one. No, no. Um, the first answer Google gives back is, uh, the first recorded kiss is 1500 BC.

Sam Tallent 16:19 Oh.

Narrator 16:19 Which sounds recent.

Joe Rogan 16:20 Interesting.

Sam Tallent 16:21 It's very recent.

Narrator 16:22 Right below that is a link to a longer piece. It says some researchers believe that kissing began millions of years ago as a result of mouth-to-mouth feeding.

Joe Rogan 16:30 Ooh.

Sam Tallent 16:30 Interesting.

Narrator 16:31 And then that's going into like, well, why didn't-

Joe Rogan 16:33 Interesting.

Narrator 16:33 ... everybody do it then?

Sam Tallent 16:35 'Cause you had to chew the food for the child?

Joe Rogan 16:37 Do you know that you can get syphilis from kissing people?

Sam Tallent 16:39 (laughs) No.

Joe Rogan 16:41 I didn't either. I saw it on a TikTok video. Must be true.

Sam Tallent 16:45 (laughs) How dirty is that mouth?

Joe Rogan 16:46 There was a doctor. It was a You- it was a, uh, Instagram Reels. That's what it was.

Sam Tallent 16:50 Oh.

Joe Rogan 16:50 No, uh, he was like having this guy standing there and all these different girls are coming by and kissing him and he was pointing out all the different types of diseases that you can get from mouth kissing someone. Yeah, herpes and syphilis and gonorrhea, all these different things that you can get-

Sam Tallent 17:04 What?

Joe Rogan 17:04 ... from mouth kissing people.

Sam Tallent 17:06 I thought it was just herpes. That was my biggest fear.

Joe Rogan 17:08 Uh, I thought so too. This guy fucking-

Sam Tallent 17:10 Somehow I dodged that bullet.

Joe Rogan 17:11 This guy figured out a way to scare the fuck out of everybody. And they're never gonna kiss again.

Sam Tallent 17:16 I'm gonna keep kissing.

Joe Rogan 17:17 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 17:18 I'm still smooching my old lady when I get home.

Joe Rogan 17:19 Well, you're married.

Sam Tallent 17:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:20 But if you're some wild dude at the bar, you might die.

Sam Tallent 17:23 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:23 Secondly, kissing could also transmit syphilis.

Sam Tallent 17:26 Oh, God. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:26 Which may present as an oral can- what is that? Canker? Canker sore or canker sore?

Sam Tallent 17:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:31 Uh, T. pallidum can invade mucus membranes through abrasion, therefore, oral chan- chan-

Sam Tallent 17:37 Can- canker.

Narrator 17:38 Canker.

Joe Rogan 17:38 ... canker. It is canker, right?

Sam Tallent 17:39 I think so.

Joe Rogan 17:39 Can result from kissing with a syphilis patient.

Sam Tallent 17:42 Wow.

Joe Rogan 17:42 Therefore, kissing with a, oh, with a syphilis patient.

Sam Tallent 17:44 Right.

Joe Rogan 17:45 If you're that horny and you're in the fucking hospital with them, like come on, just one kiss.

Sam Tallent 17:49 That deleted scene from Patch Adams. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:51 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 17:51 He's smooching all the sailors when they get back from... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:54 He's like, "They don't have much time to live."

Sam Tallent 17:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:56 "Try and make them feel better."

Sam Tallent 17:57 Yeah, they need this.

Joe Rogan 17:57 To give them some love.

Sam Tallent 17:58 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 17:59 Yeah, I mean what the fuck? You're on a deathbed.

Sam Tallent 18:01 I would smooch someone on their deathbed easy.

Joe Rogan 18:03 Yeah. Yeah, especially if you love them.

Sam Tallent 18:05 Yeah. You have to.

Joe Rogan 18:05 You wouldn't be worried about a little syphilis.

Sam Tallent 18:06 Mm-mm.

Joe Rogan 18:07 They cure that now.

Sam Tallent 18:08 Also, there's no way that I'm not dying before my wife, so-

Narrator 18:11 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 18:11 ... you know, that's-

Joe Rogan 18:12 Is your wife healthy?

Sam Tallent 18:13 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:13 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 18:14 What is that supposed to mean, Joe? (laughs)

Narrator 18:15 Not that healthy, Sam.

Sam Tallent 18:16 I'm okay. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:17 I think you're a comedian.

Sam Tallent 18:18 I am a comedian.

Joe Rogan 18:18 You're very funny. You're a very funny guy.

Sam Tallent 18:20 Well, thank you.

Joe Rogan 18:21 Most funny guys are out of their fucking minds.

Sam Tallent 18:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:23 And it presents itself in a bunch of different ways.

Sam Tallent 18:25 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 18:25 So when you say something like that-

Sam Tallent 18:26 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:26 ... it kinda opens the door for me to say, "Well, why would that be, Sam?"

Sam Tallent 18:30 ... you, you think I'm in here wearing this 4XL sweatshirt-

Joe Rogan 18:33 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 18:33 ... (laughs) in the Austin heat because I'm confident about my body?

Joe Rogan 18:35 Well, I think it's just because you don't have a sweet brody T-shirt on.

Sam Tallent 18:38 I don't, dude.

Joe Rogan 18:39 Positive push.

Sam Tallent 18:39 Yeah. I think if you saw me nude, you'd go, "Huh." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:43 No.

Sam Tallent 18:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:44 I think I'd go, "I've seen that before."

Sam Tallent 18:45 You think so?

Joe Rogan 18:46 Sure.

Sam Tallent 18:46 I like to think I have a-

Joe Rogan 18:47 Sure.

Sam Tallent 18:47 ... unique situation under here.

Joe Rogan 18:49 You don't.

Sam Tallent 18:49 No?

Joe Rogan 18:50 Nah.

Sam Tallent 18:50 What?

Joe Rogan 18:51 No.

Sam Tallent 18:51 I'm like Butter Bean.

Joe Rogan 18:52 It's an average American at the beach.

Sam Tallent 18:53 (laughs) Wow.

Joe Rogan 18:53 It's normal.

Sam Tallent 18:54 I'm very good at the beach.

Joe Rogan 18:55 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 18:56 Water is not a problem for me, dude. It's those damn sailing vessels that keep trying to harpoon me.

Joe Rogan 19:00 When I was a kid, my buddy, Jimmy, his dad used to be able to go to the ocean, and he was... He drank a lot of beer, and he would float.

Sam Tallent 19:06 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:06 He would literally float.

Sam Tallent 19:07 Dude.

Joe Rogan 19:08 Like, this dude was living the life. I was like-

Sam Tallent 19:10 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 19:10 ... "Maybe it's worth it being fat just for that."

Sam Tallent 19:11 I'm so buoyant.

Joe Rogan 19:13 He would go there and just get out in the ocean and float, and I would sink like a fucking rock.

Sam Tallent 19:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:18 I was like, "Ah," kind of- kind of jealous.

Sam Tallent 19:21 Well, I'm glad to hear you're jealous of me, Joe. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 19:23 I'm kind of jealous that you can just float.

Sam Tallent 19:25 You know what's a fun move for me? Laying on the sand and the waves crashing me-

Joe Rogan 19:29 Ah.

Sam Tallent 19:29 ... and spinning me like a nude egg. That's my favorite thing to do in the world, man.

Joe Rogan 19:32 That's nice. Do you wear goggles, or do you just take it raw doing it?

Sam Tallent 19:34 I'll wear some goggles.

Joe Rogan 19:36 Yeah, you don't want that salt water in your eyes, right?

Sam Tallent 19:37 No.

Joe Rogan 19:38 Does that shit bother you?

Sam Tallent 19:38 Uh, I go, I go open eyes. I'll go open eyes in a hot tub like a freak.

Joe Rogan 19:42 I... Whoa.

Sam Tallent 19:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:43 That is-

Sam Tallent 19:43 That's how you get syphilis.

Joe Rogan 19:44 That's how you get, like, chlorine in your eyeballs.

Sam Tallent 19:46 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 19:47 It's like-

Sam Tallent 19:47 I'm okay with it.

Joe Rogan 19:48 Yeah?

Sam Tallent 19:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:49 Chlorine can be good for you, right? I have a chlorine pool. Like, we were talking with David Cho the other day, and he says he's got some new shit that does, like... What does it use?

Narrator 19:56 Yeah, oxygenated.

Sam Tallent 19:57 Oxygenated water?

Narrator 19:58 Which is, like, okay.

Sam Tallent 20:00 Okay. Yeah, I mean, whatever works, right?

Narrator 20:03 It's already oxygen in there, but-

Sam Tallent 20:05 Yeah. So you can breathe the water?

Narrator 20:08 Uh-

Joe Rogan 20:08 My pool guy said it's hard to do a saltwater one out here in Texas though. He said that, uh, there's something about the heat and humidity. It's like you're- you're gonna be, like, still dosing it up with chlorine.

Sam Tallent 20:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:18 'Cause the... That algae just grows.

Sam Tallent 20:20 A lot of my best moments are aquatic, honestly.

Joe Rogan 20:22 Really?

Sam Tallent 20:23 I excel. On land, I'm not that great. But you get me submerged.

Joe Rogan 20:26 Do you ever hear the aquatic ape theory?

Sam Tallent 20:28 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:29 You heard who did that?

Sam Tallent 20:29 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:30 Yeah?

Sam Tallent 20:30 I think I'm proof. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:33 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 20:33 I think I'm a vestigial tail.

Joe Rogan 20:35 It's a crazy theory.

Sam Tallent 20:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:35 There's, like, a lot of interesting things that are attached to it.

Sam Tallent 20:37 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 20:37 Like the idea that babies come out, like, so full of fat, whereas other babies of other primates are, like, sinewy and muscular. And they're, they take, they can take care of themselves way quicker than we can.

Sam Tallent 20:46 Yeah, we're frail.

Joe Rogan 20:47 Yeah, we're super frail.

Sam Tallent 20:48 (laughs) We're just soft, little mushers.

Joe Rogan 20:49 We're super frail, but is that the price you pay for being so fucking smart?

Sam Tallent 20:55 I think you need to-

Joe Rogan 20:55 Yeah, it has to balance out.

Sam Tallent 20:57 Yeah. If we were just apex predators-

Joe Rogan 20:58 Mm-hmm.

Sam Tallent 20:58 ... and also able to tie our shoes.

Joe Rogan 21:00 Right. (laughs) But that's why we associate, like, meatheads with being stupid.

Sam Tallent 21:05 Right.

Joe Rogan 21:06 You know?

Sam Tallent 21:07 Yeah. That's no good. I, I... It's tough when a meathead is also, like, uh, very well learned, 'cause then there's just, like, a bunch of stuff to be jealous of, you know? Like the first time we met, I don't know if you remember this, we were in front of your beautiful comedy club, and it was... Tim Dillon was there.

Joe Rogan 21:21 Yeah.

Sam Tallent 21:22 And we went to shake hands, and it was my first time I met you, and we shook like this. See here?

Joe Rogan 21:26 What did we do?

Sam Tallent 21:27 My fingers.

Joe Rogan 21:28 Oh, your fingers curled up?

Sam Tallent 21:29 My fingers were... Yeah, and I was like, "Well, I just blew it."

Joe Rogan 21:31 Blah. I don't even remember it.

Sam Tallent 21:32 Oh, I do. (laughs) I've thought about it a lot, Joe.

Joe Rogan 21:33 Oh, come on, my man.

Sam Tallent 21:34 (laughs) Yeah. No, I was like, "Well, that's not how you shake hands as a human being."

Joe Rogan 21:37 Hey, guess what? We just did it again. You want some of that?

Sam Tallent 21:38 It felt good. What is that?

Joe Rogan 21:39 It's marijuana.

Sam Tallent 21:40 Oh, I'm good, man.

Joe Rogan 21:40 You scared of that shit?

Sam Tallent 21:41 I used to smoke it 24/7.

Joe Rogan 21:43 What happened?

Sam Tallent 21:44 I started having panic attacks.

Joe Rogan 21:46 Ah.

Sam Tallent 21:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:46 Interesting.

Sam Tallent 21:46 It started giving me, like, heart attack symptoms.

Joe Rogan 21:48 Those are fun.

Sam Tallent 21:49 No. I rode it out too. I tried for, like, three years after that shit started happening. I would just be, like, getting high in a car, and I'd feel, like, something flutter in my chest, and I'd be like, "Well, this is how I go down," waiting in line at Chick-fil-A.

Joe Rogan 21:59 Maybe it was the wings of angels.

Sam Tallent 22:01 It could've been, yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:02 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 22:02 It was that LDS lady. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:04 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 22:04 That Mormon lady who loves snake oil so much-

Joe Rogan 22:06 Maybe it was.

Sam Tallent 22:06 ... she believes in Capricorns.

Joe Rogan 22:08 In the arms of the angels.

Sam Tallent 22:11 I'll see you later.

Joe Rogan 22:12 That's what it is. That's the flittering. That's the flittering inside of you.

Sam Tallent 22:14 I mean, when I go down, I'm gonna go down in a big, bold way.

Joe Rogan 22:16 You think so? You're thinking about it?

Sam Tallent 22:18 Of course, all the time.

Joe Rogan 22:19 How often? How old are you now?

Sam Tallent 22:21 35.

Joe Rogan 22:22 You look good for 35.

Sam Tallent 22:23 (laughs) Come on. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:25 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 22:25 Come on, Joe. (laughs) What the fuck, man? (laughs) I see through this.

Joe Rogan 22:35 What age are you pushing for?

Sam Tallent 22:36 I would like to hit 70. That'd be sick.

Joe Rogan 22:38 Oh, you could do that.

Sam Tallent 22:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:40 Yeah. Well... Hmm.

Sam Tallent 22:41 'Cause the meat's not marbled the way you think it is. Like, yes, there is this, like, topsoil of soft, doughy fat, but-

Joe Rogan 22:46 But underneath there is some bulk?

Sam Tallent 22:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:48 Did you do sports as a kid?

Sam Tallent 22:50 Oh, yeah, all-state.

Joe Rogan 22:51 Do you exercise at all now?

Sam Tallent 22:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:52 Oh, were you all-state in what?

Sam Tallent 22:53 Yeah, all-state football.

Joe Rogan 22:54 No shit?

Sam Tallent 22:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:55 Wow.

Sam Tallent 22:55 Yeah, me and Shane would've been a hell of an offensive line.

Joe Rogan 22:57 Why don't you and Shane get together and fucking snap each other into shape? Shane's actually gotten into shape.

Sam Tallent 23:01 I know.

Joe Rogan 23:01 He looks a lot better.

Sam Tallent 23:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:02 He's starting to look bulky again.

Sam Tallent 23:03 Uh-huh. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:04 Starting to look big.

Sam Tallent 23:05 He's obsessed with his biceps.

Joe Rogan 23:06 Shows the guns.

Sam Tallent 23:07 Yeah, I know.

Joe Rogan 23:07 Shows his guns. They're pretty big.

Sam Tallent 23:08 I know.

Joe Rogan 23:08 Big guy.

Sam Tallent 23:09 And, like, there's this, uh, there's this, like, cage fighter in Arkansas that used to open for me, Chris Pierce, and, uh, he, like, made me buy weights during pandemic because he was just, like, body shaming me to the point of me being like-

Joe Rogan 23:21 Dang.

Sam Tallent 23:21 ... "Well, it's either this or a bullet in the gun."

Joe Rogan 23:23 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 23:23 You know? So, I got in there, and I've been, like, uh, you know, deadlifting and shit. And, uh, everything with my legs. It's the upper body that I fear because it's so weak.

Joe Rogan 23:33 Well, you can get into shape, buddy.

Sam Tallent 23:35 I, I'm trying. I wanna live.

Joe Rogan 23:36 Okay.

Sam Tallent 23:37 As I light a cigar-

Joe Rogan 23:38 Listen.

Sam Tallent 23:39 ... at 1:30.

Joe Rogan 23:39 We can help you.

Sam Tallent 23:40 Yeah, I know.

Joe Rogan 23:40 I know people in Denver.

Sam Tallent 23:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:42 There's a lot of good gyms in Denver.

Sam Tallent 23:43 I know.

Joe Rogan 23:44 Yeah.

Sam Tallent 23:44 I live in Fort Collins now.

Joe Rogan 23:45 Oh, how far is that?

Sam Tallent 23:46 An hour.

Joe Rogan 23:47 Okay.

Sam Tallent 23:47 I'm also on the road all the time.

Joe Rogan 23:49 Right.

Sam Tallent 23:49 So, it's really hard to be a human being when you're-

Joe Rogan 23:52 It's hard.

Sam Tallent 23:52 ... out there.

Joe Rogan 23:53 Yeah. The road is tricky.

Sam Tallent 23:54 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 23:55 Like, you gotta... Like, uh, you gotta treat it like work, you know?

Sam Tallent 23:57 She's a fickle bitch, the road.

Joe Rogan 23:59 When you get into that hotel room, you wanna take a nap-

Sam Tallent 24:01 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 24:01 ... but you really can't, you really gotta go to the gym.

Sam Tallent 24:04 Well, you wanna nap after you whack.

Joe Rogan 24:06 That too.

Sam Tallent 24:06 You wanna pull pud, and then you wanna nap, and then you wanna eat something terrible.

Joe Rogan 24:08 If I know I need to nap, that's when I'll give you the old tongue-rusey.

Sam Tallent 24:12 I gave it up.

Joe Rogan 24:13 You gave up beating off?

Sam Tallent 24:13 I gotta save it for my wife.

Joe Rogan 24:15 Oh.

Sam Tallent 24:15 I gotta give her my essence.

Joe Rogan 24:17 I get it.

Sam Tallent 24:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:18 Trying to make a kid?

Sam Tallent 24:19 No. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 24:19 (laughs) You just want good... A good volume?

Sam Tallent 24:22 Well, yeah, that's what I'm worried about is the heft of load.

Joe Rogan 24:25 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 24:25 I want it to be a bulky deposit. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 24:27 Imagine if the... Like, your- your self-esteem was connected to the size of your load.

Sam Tallent 24:31 (laughs) ... when you're a lad, it is, dude.

Joe Rogan 24:34 I mean, but sort of.

Sam Tallent 24:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:36 Not so crazy. Like, if it's a big one, it's like, "Whoa." But if it's like a regular one, it doesn't like bum you out. (laughs)

Sam Tallent 24:42 No. In fact, I'm excited when it's little.

Joe Rogan 24:44 Are you really?

Sam Tallent 24:44 Yeah, it's less of a mess.

Joe Rogan 24:46 Oh, there you go.

Sam Tallent 24:46 'Cause when you're in a hotel, you know where it goes.

Joe Rogan 24:48 That's right.

Sam Tallent 24:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:49 Yeah, you gotta shower off.

Sam Tallent 24:51 Immediately.

Joe Rogan 24:52 Immediately.

Sam Tallent 24:52 Yeah, you just glaze the ham, and then you go hop in the shower.

Joe Rogan 24:55 Or just do a gator roll in the sheets.

Sam Tallent 24:58 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 24:59 It's up to you. It's totally up to you.

Sam Tallent 25:00 Make it the Hyatt's problem. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:03 Yeah, yeah.

Sam Tallent 25:03 Yeah, but then you have that sheet stuck to you, and you look like the dumpling paper. Well, not you, but my body, you know?

Joe Rogan 25:08 Just live in shame.

Sam Tallent 25:09 I do.

Joe Rogan 25:10 Just live in shame.

Sam Tallent 25:10 That's what we do.

Joe Rogan 25:11 Just accept it. Accept it.

Sam Tallent 25:12 If I was confident, I wouldn't be funny, you know?

Joe Rogan 25:14 (laughs) That's- that's fun.

Sam Tallent 25:15 (laughs) It's, it's the craziest part of this whole thing.

Joe Rogan 25:17 Well, it's definitely like a motivating factor, right?

Sam Tallent 25:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:21 Yeah, it's interesting, like, the different motivating factors that people get into when they get into comedy.

Sam Tallent 25:28 It's-

Joe Rogan 25:28 Like, what, what year were you when you thought about doing it?

Sam Tallent 25:31 Dude, there's, like, a video of me as, like, a two or three-year-old sliding into the kitchen on my knees saying, "I just flew in from Vegas, and boy, are my arms tired."

Joe Rogan 25:40 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 25:40 It was, like, a preconceived... Like, there's no thought. I have no memory of not wanting to be a comedian.

Joe Rogan 25:45 Wow, what year were you... What, uh, how old were you, rather, when you first tried it?

Sam Tallent 25:49 2005, I was 18.

Joe Rogan 25:51 Wow.

Sam Tallent 25:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:52 That's a good time.

Sam Tallent 25:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:55 I started when I was 21 because I thought you had to wait until you were 21 to get into the bars.

Sam Tallent 25:58 To get into the bars, yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:59 But then I met a guy there who was 19, and I was like, "How'd you get in here?"

Sam Tallent 26:02 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 26:03 And he's like, "Yeah, you just gotta tell them that, you know, you're here to just do comedy, and they make sure you don't drink."

Sam Tallent 26:07 They X your hands. You stand, like, by the door.

Joe Rogan 26:09 Is that what it is?

Sam Tallent 26:10 I did all that shit too, yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:11 Oh.

Sam Tallent 26:12 The Squire Lounge, the Lion's Lair in Denver when I was starting.

Joe Rogan 26:14 Dude, that's great.

Sam Tallent 26:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:16 What a good time to start.

Sam Tallent 26:17 Dude, it was perfect. And also, girls were involved now.

Joe Rogan 26:21 Ah.

Sam Tallent 26:21 Like, all of a sudden, I was like, you know, desirable.

Joe Rogan 26:23 'Cause you're funny.

Sam Tallent 26:24 'Cause you're funny. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:26 Yeah. Yeah.

Sam Tallent 26:27 And then you're also, like, bright-eyed, and you just have... I had this, like, all-consuming romance to my life, you know?

Joe Rogan 26:32 Right.

Sam Tallent 26:33 And, uh-

Joe Rogan 26:33 Well, there's a thing about someone who's obsessed with a goal.

Sam Tallent 26:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:36 Like, it's very, it's very attractive to people 'cause there's, it's like secretly what everybody kind of wants to be.

Sam Tallent 26:40 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 26:41 In some... Not everybody, but a lot of people want to be, in some ways, like, really dedicated to some dream.

Sam Tallent 26:47 Yeah, it's admirable.

Joe Rogan 26:47 There's a great video that we put up on the Mothership, uh, Instagram site, and it's Bill Burr. And Bill Burr is talking about-

Sam Tallent 26:56 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:57 You know that video?

Sam Tallent 26:57 Yeah, where he was, uh, sleeping on a couch?

Joe Rogan 26:59 So let's play it. Let's play it because it's fucking... What he says is amazing. It- it's... And it, like, speaks to every comic who got through that and made it.

Sam Tallent 27:08 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 27:08 And every comic who's in the middle of it right now. It's online too. You can find it online.

Narrator 27:14 You don't. It always leads to something better. Always. All right?

Joe Rogan 27:17 Re- reset it, because he said, "Don't, you-"

Narrator 27:19 Starving artist.

Joe Rogan 27:19 "... don't hurt yourself going for a dream."

Narrator 27:22 ... lose when you go after a dream.

Sam Tallent 27:23 Here it is.

Narrator 27:24 You don't. It always leads to something better. Always. All right? Starving artist. I slept on a futon till I was 36. I don't fucking regret any of it. I was dating this woman, and I said I had a spot I had to go do, and it, it paid $8 at the Comic Strip during the week, a Tuesday night. I went down there, and I came back. I tried on a new bit, and I was doing a s- And afterwards, I was at home in my apartment, and I was doing this silly dance in the kitchen 'cause I had a new bit, and I was psyched because I had gone through this period where I wasn't coming up with any new material. And she was laughing, and then she got a sad look on her face. And I said, "What's the matter?" And she said, "I wish I had a job where I only got paid $8, yet I came home, and I did a silly dance in the kitchen." The responsible thing to do is to listen to your heart. It wasn't hard to work at the shitty job because I was always thinking about the exciting job I was gonna do afterwards. And every night that I just went up on stage, and if it just went moderately okay, I couldn't believe it. I couldn't bel- I, I have to be honest with you. Like, I, I, I couldn't fucking believe that I was actually doing it, that I was actually... I had a dream, and I was making it happen. And I still remember the first time I really went on stage and I actually got in the zone for what was considered a zone at the level of comic I was. And I only was in the zone for about eight seconds. Um, I was at Nick's Comedy Stop in Framingham on Route 9. It doesn't even exist anymore. And, um, I just got on this roll of laughter that I was actually able to pause and fucking be in the moment and enjoy it rather than being like, "Oh my God, what's my next joke? What's my next joke?" And, um, that fucking feeling can carry you through a fucking shitty job for a week. Freddie Stone, excitable boy. It's what he went by. (laughs) I did a room for him, and he gave me $5 gas money. I'd probably spent 10 to get there, and I couldn't fucking believe it. And I was like, "I did that, and they gave me this." I couldn't fucking believe it. At what point... Just listen to the sound of my voice as I'm talking about this. Have you ever had that level of excitement doing any other fucking job? That's what it's like when you're, you, you go after, uh, a dream job. So, nothing, nothing is worse than not going after it.

Joe Rogan 30:05 Yee-haw.

Sam Tallent 30:06 Gets me fucking fired up, dude.

Joe Rogan 30:08 Yee-fucking-haw.

Sam Tallent 30:09 Yes.

Joe Rogan 30:09 (clears throat)

Sam Tallent 30:11 I had no regrets. I was eating out of dumpsters.

Joe Rogan 30:13 Yeah.

Sam Tallent 30:13 I was sleeping on floors.

Joe Rogan 30:14 You ate out of dumpsters?

Sam Tallent 30:15 Hell yeah, dude.

Joe Rogan 30:16 What'd you get out of a dumpster?

Sam Tallent 30:17 You'd go to 7-Eleven, and you would get... When they threw out the chicken wings and the pizza.

Joe Rogan 30:22 Would you like... Did you time it-

Sam Tallent 30:24 Yeah, he knew the time.

Joe Rogan 30:25 ... so that as it hit the, the dumpster, you could get in there quick?

Sam Tallent 30:27 There was a window, you know?

Joe Rogan 30:28 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 30:29 There was about a half hour to an hour when he knew he was gonna hit the dumpster.

Joe Rogan 30:31 What's the best thing you ever got out of a dumpster?

Sam Tallent 30:33 Croissants.

Joe Rogan 30:34 Damn.

Sam Tallent 30:34 And bagels in Upstate New York.

Joe Rogan 30:36 Were they in the package still?

Sam Tallent 30:36 No.... they were on trash.

Joe Rogan 30:38 It was for free?

Sam Tallent 30:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:39 Oh, no.

Sam Tallent 30:40 Yeah. Oh, no's right. But also, I didn't have a job.

Joe Rogan 30:43 Oh, no.

Sam Tallent 30:43 You know?

Joe Rogan 30:43 Jesus. What was the trash that they were on, though? Was it... Are we talking cardboard boxes?

Sam Tallent 30:46 There was some boxes.

Joe Rogan 30:47 Or we're talking food and coffee grounds and shit?

Sam Tallent 30:49 Yeah. It was every... It was all sorts. You know?

Joe Rogan 30:51 Oh, boy.

Sam Tallent 30:51 Yeah. But I didn't have to wake up at any time. You know? It was a survival mechanism-

Joe Rogan 30:55 Yeah.

Sam Tallent 30:55 ... 'cause I was attacking standup so hard.

Joe Rogan 30:58 Wow.

Sam Tallent 30:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:59 That's awesome.

Sam Tallent 30:59 Sleeping on the ground, taking Greyhounds. All that shit, now you look back and you're like, "That's romantic."

Joe Rogan 31:03 I remember the bus days.

Sam Tallent 31:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:05 I took, I did the bus to at least two gigs that I can remember.

Sam Tallent 31:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:08 It's like, oh my God. When you're on the bus, man, you're on just, like, who knows how many serial killers are with you.

Sam Tallent 31:14 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 31:14 Who knows how many fucked up people are on that bus.

Sam Tallent 31:17 I was the only white boy on a bus from Houston to Lafayette, Louisiana.

Joe Rogan 31:20 How was that?

Sam Tallent 31:21 It was awesome. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:22 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 31:22 It was a mobile party, dude. It was like a Cameo video.

Joe Rogan 31:24 Really?

Sam Tallent 31:24 Yeah. 'Cause I was sitting in the back, and then the bus loaded up and, uh, people were passing around bottles of gin, and I had a weed hash pen.

Joe Rogan 31:31 Uh. (laughs)

Sam Tallent 31:32 So as soon as that gin bottle hit me, they all, like, looked at me and I was like... And then I hit the weed pen and blew it out, and everyone was like, "All right." And then the pen circulated. By the time I got off that bus, I was blackout drunk.

Joe Rogan 31:42 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 31:42 But boy was I invited to a lot of barbecues. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:46 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 31:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:46 That's awesome.

Sam Tallent 31:47 It was awesome, man.

Joe Rogan 31:48 That's awesome.

Sam Tallent 31:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:49 Yeah. They do church better. They do buses better.

Sam Tallent 31:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:52 Black folks got a lot of sh- stuff figured out-

Sam Tallent 31:53 Very admirable.

Joe Rogan 31:54 ... that white people haven't figured out yet.

Sam Tallent 31:55 Yeah. We're so uptight, man.

Joe Rogan 31:56 Yeah. Well, their church is definitely more fun.

Sam Tallent 31:58 Yeah, they have gospel music.

Joe Rogan 31:58 There's no more fun in America than the, the Black churches. They, they dance and sing and-

Sam Tallent 32:03 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 32:03 ... that's why you s... I'm sure you've seen that video of, uh, Biden at a Black church.

Sam Tallent 32:07 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:07 And he's just standing there, like, not no... Everybody's, like, having a great fucking time.

Sam Tallent 32:11 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:11 My favorite video from a Black church ever is the I'm not gay no more.

Sam Tallent 32:15 Dude. (laughs) Slam dunk.

Joe Rogan 32:16 That guy-

Sam Tallent 32:17 Yes.

Joe Rogan 32:17 That guy deserves a goddamn Academy Award-

Sam Tallent 32:21 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:21 ... for just for, just the entertainment value of that video.

Sam Tallent 32:24 Ugh. And the acting, 'cause he was clearly still gay. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:29 (laughs)

Narrator 32:31 I'm not gay no more. I am delivered.

Joe Rogan 32:35 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 32:35 Look at him.

Narrator 32:36 I don't like men no more.

Sam Tallent 32:37 Look at him. He's dancing.

Narrator 32:38 I don't like women. Women, women, women, women. I said women. I'm not gay.

Joe Rogan 32:44 And the, my, my favorite part is when everybody dances with him. Uh-huh.

Sam Tallent 32:48 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:48 And they do, like, one of the gayest things ever. They surround him.

Sam Tallent 32:50 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:51 Like a gangbang.

Sam Tallent 32:52 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:52 (laughs) And he loves it.

Sam Tallent 32:53 There's, like, 30 guys around him.

Joe Rogan 32:55 Look at his complex bow tie.

Sam Tallent 32:57 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:57 That bow tie is outrageous for a straight man.

Narrator 33:01 I'm not gay no more.

Sam Tallent 33:02 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:02 That...

Narrator 33:02 I am delivered.

Joe Rogan 33:04 It's again? Would you play it again? (laughs)

Sam Tallent 33:06 Bro.

Narrator 33:06 No, I think it's on a loop.

Joe Rogan 33:07 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 33:07 Why are, why are you lying in church?

Joe Rogan 33:10 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 33:10 That's the same way that a 12-year-old boy that is straight lies about getting pussy.

Joe Rogan 33:14 Yeah.

Sam Tallent 33:14 Where he's like...

Joe Rogan 33:15 Right.

Sam Tallent 33:15 "I've had pussy."

Joe Rogan 33:16 All kinds of pussy.

Sam Tallent 33:16 "Women, women, women, women." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:19 (laughs) All kinds, bro.

Sam Tallent 33:20 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:20 Yeah. Now they're all dancing together.

Sam Tallent 33:22 Uh-huh. I think he, uh, came out recently and was like, "That was a lie. I'm still very gay."

Joe Rogan 33:27 Of course.

Narrator 33:27 He's got a popular Instagram account.

Joe Rogan 33:28 Good for him.

Sam Tallent 33:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:29 Good for him.

Narrator 33:30 Live your truth.

Joe Rogan 33:30 'Cause that's what's fucked up about that, is that-

Sam Tallent 33:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:32 ... like, if you wanna get accepted in that religion, they have a, a thing about gay people.

Sam Tallent 33:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:37 Like, in a lot of religions. Not just that one.

Sam Tallent 33:39 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 33:39 Not, not just Christianity. But, so, uh, Andrew Caldwell.

Narrator 33:43 Mr. Delivert.

Joe Rogan 33:44 Andrew Caldwell. Mr. Delivert. (laughs)

Sam Tallent 33:44 It's spelt wrong. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:45 That's hilarious.

Sam Tallent 33:47 Delivert.

Joe Rogan 33:48 But that's the best way to say it.

Sam Tallent 33:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:49 I am delivered.

Sam Tallent 33:51 That's good branding. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:52 That's not bad.

Sam Tallent 33:53 No.

Narrator 33:53 He said it right.

Joe Rogan 33:53 Now we helped him. Give him a little boost.

Sam Tallent 33:55 Dude.

Narrator 33:56 He's got a morning show.

Joe Rogan 33:56 It's just fucked that you can't be both religious and gay. Like, why... Come on.

Sam Tallent 34:00 Gay guys are super fun. Black guys are super fun.

Joe Rogan 34:02 Yeah.

Sam Tallent 34:03 Gay Black guys? Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 34:04 Oh, my God.

Sam Tallent 34:04 Oh, my God.

Joe Rogan 34:05 That'd be the greatest church of all time.

Sam Tallent 34:06 It's the great, well, I don't know about church.

Joe Rogan 34:07 Gay Black church.

Sam Tallent 34:08 I think they call that the club. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:10 That's true, too.

Sam Tallent 34:11 It's just a foam party.

Joe Rogan 34:12 Yeah, dude. When we, uh, lived in Hollywood, right down the street from the Comedy Store-

Sam Tallent 34:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:16 ... was, uh, Boys Town.

Sam Tallent 34:17 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:17 And if you drove there on the way to the 405, it is a f- it's five blocks of partying, man.

Sam Tallent 34:21 It's going off.

Joe Rogan 34:22 They're going off.

Sam Tallent 34:23 Yeah, dude.

Joe Rogan 34:24 You just randomly see dudes with, like, chaps on.

Sam Tallent 34:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:27 And cowboy hats with no shirt.

Sam Tallent 34:29 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:29 Just kissing on the street.

Sam Tallent 34:30 Wearing sunglasses at 3:00 AM.

Joe Rogan 34:32 Yeah. I, they always joke around about it, but it's, like, five blocks of no one saying no.

Sam Tallent 34:36 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 34:36 Because it's all yang, no yin, and no one can get pregnant.

Sam Tallent 34:39 Suck my tongue.

Joe Rogan 34:40 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 34:41 It's a lot of that.

Joe Rogan 34:42 How... Okay, here's the suck my tongue thing.

Sam Tallent 34:44 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:44 Here's the problem with that video. Here's the problem with that.

Sam Tallent 34:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:46 The whole, the, the Dalai Lama thing. 'Cause the, the, the tinfoil hat, 4chan-style conspiracy theory is that there's elite pedophiles that run the world.

Sam Tallent 34:57 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 34:57 Right? And I was... I'm always reluctant to buy into that. But then I watch a few documentaries.

Sam Tallent 35:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:05 And then I read a few cases. And then I... You, you hear about the Epstein, the island thing.

Sam Tallent 35:10 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 35:10 And then, you know, he gets out of it the first time.

Sam Tallent 35:12 Boys Town, the Franklan scandal.

Joe Rogan 35:13 There's a bunch of those.

Sam Tallent 35:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:15 And you go, "How?" Like, does that still exist? Like, is it happening right now?

Sam Tallent 35:21 Yeah. Yes.

Joe Rogan 35:22 Is it... And someone's gonna uncover it. We... The Catholic Church.

Sam Tallent 35:26 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 35:26 How crazy is that?

Sam Tallent 35:27 The Dalai Lama.

Joe Rogan 35:28 The Dalai Lama.

Sam Tallent 35:28 I mean, who knows? You know, maybe he's just-

Joe Rogan 35:30 Who knows?

Sam Tallent 35:30 Yeah. I don't wanna-

Joe Rogan 35:31 Maybe he just likes tongue-sucking.

Sam Tallent 35:32 ... dismerch the Dalai Lama.

Joe Rogan 35:32 Maybe he just thinks it's fun.

Sam Tallent 35:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:34 It's funny and silly to suck a tongue.

Sam Tallent 35:35 It was a bit he was doing?

Joe Rogan 35:36 Yeah, a little funny thing to do to a boy.

Sam Tallent 35:37 We've all bombed. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:39 We've all had a boy suck our tongue.

Sam Tallent 35:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:41 What a stomach do?

Sam Tallent 35:41 If you thought it was gonna get a laugh.

Joe Rogan 35:43 Oh, yeah.

Sam Tallent 35:44 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:44 If you thought it would kill, it's a good closer.

Sam Tallent 35:45 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 35:46 Yeah, just a freak. It's shock t- jock stuff.

Sam Tallent 35:48 Yeah, exactly. He's like Bubba the Love Sponge.

Joe Rogan 35:50 (laughs) I like Bubba.

Sam Tallent 35:52 I got nothing against Bubba. It's a hilarious name.

Joe Rogan 35:54 Bubba's a good guy.

Sam Tallent 35:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:56 Um, maybe it's, um...

Sam Tallent 36:00 I think that it's legit, man.

Joe Rogan 36:02 Y- I mean, but it's just-

Sam Tallent 36:03 But is it chicken or the egg?

Joe Rogan 36:04 Right, right, right. Did some... That's the thing that people always say about wh- whatever it's, uh, child molesters in particular.

Sam Tallent 36:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:11 That someone did it to them.

Sam Tallent 36:12 Right.

Joe Rogan 36:13 And that they are somehow not-

Sam Tallent 36:14 Hurt people heard people.

Joe Rogan 36:15 Yeah. And that they're somehow now they're paused in that stage of their emotional development-

Sam Tallent 36:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:20 ... where they got raped.

Sam Tallent 36:21 Uh-huh. It's like when you hear a, like, an adult woman who still talks like a nine-year-old girl. You're like, "Oh, no."

Joe Rogan 36:27 Ooh.

Sam Tallent 36:27 What happened here?

Joe Rogan 36:29 Some girls do that just to play dumb with you.

Sam Tallent 36:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:31 It's like a real piano.

Sam Tallent 36:32 Uh-huh. Boy, do I fall for that.

Joe Rogan 36:33 And then you hear them on the phone with their accountant.

Sam Tallent 36:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:35 You go, "Whoa."

Sam Tallent 36:36 (laughs) so you have an accountant?

Joe Rogan 36:37 This bitch can talk.

Sam Tallent 36:38 Why are you fucking me?

Joe Rogan 36:38 Why, how come she can talk so well?

Sam Tallent 36:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:41 (laughs) When she's around me, she play, she plays dumb.

Sam Tallent 36:44 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 36:44 That'd be a great move for a girl.

Sam Tallent 36:45 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 36:46 ... like to, like, you know, go after some old billionaire.

Sam Tallent 36:49 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 36:49 Just take down-

Sam Tallent 36:49 Anna Nicole Smith.

Joe Rogan 36:50 Oh, well, she, I don't think she played. I think that was, like, a real clear transactional agreement.

Sam Tallent 36:55 Dude, she got me going as a young buck.

Joe Rogan 36:58 She was hot as fuck.

Sam Tallent 36:59 Bro, there's so much woman.

Joe Rogan 37:00 So much woman.

Sam Tallent 37:01 So much woman.

Joe Rogan 37:02 That was a big old Texas woman.

Sam Tallent 37:03 Yes. Big hair.

Joe Rogan 37:04 That was like 160 pounder.

Sam Tallent 37:06 I bet, I'd bet 220 by the end.

Joe Rogan 37:08 Yeah, the end is not one I'm going on.

Sam Tallent 37:09 Oh, I'm going on the end.

Joe Rogan 37:10 I'm going on the thicker days.

Sam Tallent 37:12 (laughs) Yeah, when I could actually get her.

Joe Rogan 37:14 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 37:15 When I had a shot.

Joe Rogan 37:16 The end, if you just had a bag of pills, she'd been yours.

Sam Tallent 37:18 Oh, yeah, you just shake them.

Joe Rogan 37:19 See, that's her in the early, early days.

Sam Tallent 37:20 Yeah, and look-

Joe Rogan 37:21 Yeah, she was-

Sam Tallent 37:21 Lovely. But I'm talking deathbed Anna Nicole Smith, hoo, boy.

Joe Rogan 37:25 That's, that's her a-

Sam Tallent 37:26 Look.

Joe Rogan 37:26 ... little larger.

Sam Tallent 37:27 Yeah, she's punishing that guy's lap. That's what I'm talking about.

Joe Rogan 37:30 That guy's getting hurt.

Sam Tallent 37:31 Yeah, when your femurs-

Joe Rogan 37:31 His thighs.

Sam Tallent 37:32 ... are sore.

Joe Rogan 37:32 His thigh, he's gonna get nerve damage from that.

Sam Tallent 37:34 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 37:34 That's dangerous.

Sam Tallent 37:35 Goddamn, dude.

Joe Rogan 37:36 She was super hot when she was young.

Sam Tallent 37:38 I think top to bottom, I see no faults in her.

Joe Rogan 37:42 Yeah, well, she's a fucking genetic specimen. And then, there's a lot of, uh, uh, you know-

Sam Tallent 37:47 Thank you, Jamie.

Joe Rogan 37:47 ... surgical intervention.

Sam Tallent 37:49 Thank you for bringing me back.

Joe Rogan 37:50 To make them ... Isn't it fascinating that, like, big giant fake tits are so attractive to men, and it's so obvious? It's like the most obvious trick of all time.

Sam Tallent 37:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:59 The most obvious trick.

Sam Tallent 38:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:01 Like, you, we know 100% of the time when they're fake, and no one cares.

Sam Tallent 38:05 But we also love up-close magic, and we know that's a ruse.

Joe Rogan 38:08 Yeah, but us, up-close magic is, like, way more deceptive.

Sam Tallent 38:12 Yeah?

Joe Rogan 38:13 You know, they're really good. I've, I, I, I had David-

Sam Tallent 38:15 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 38:16 You know what I'm saying? Like, what is he doing? David Blaine freaked me the fuck out, man, 'cause he did ... Jamie's good at spotting this shit too. And Jamie sat there, he goes, "I'm just gonna watch everything he does. I'm gonna keep my eyes on him, and I'm gonna try to figure out what he's doing."

Sam Tallent 38:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:28 And he could not figure it out. And the dude rolled his sleeves up too, to show it.

Sam Tallent 38:31 Ooh.

Joe Rogan 38:31 It was wild shit. He w- he was doing some wild shit.

Sam Tallent 38:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:34 He was doing some sleight of hand that was like ... He might, he might know real witchcraft.

Sam Tallent 38:38 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:39 This might be like one of them comic book things-

Sam Tallent 38:41 He's a bruja.

Joe Rogan 38:41 ... where the guy makes a living, like, being a magician, but he's actually a wizard.

Sam Tallent 38:45 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 38:45 Like legitimately, right?

Sam Tallent 38:47 Gandalf still had to pay the bills.

Joe Rogan 38:48 Didn't you feel like that?

Narrator 38:50 I felt-

Joe Rogan 38:50 He's a wizard.

Narrator 38:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:51 It's not real. He's not a real person.

Narrator 38:53 I also didn't want to know 'cause then it ruins it, but like-

Sam Tallent 38:55 That does, dude. Yeah. Fuck's sake.

Joe Rogan 38:56 But then he made me do things that was, like, totally real, like when I stuck that, uh, metal-

Narrator 39:00 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 39:01 ... rod through his skin. I'm like, "I know what you're doing. You just can deal with pain."

Narrator 39:04 Did you see what happened to him recently at his show in Vegas?

Joe Rogan 39:07 No.

Narrator 39:08 Two accidents happened.

Joe Rogan 39:10 Oh, no.

Sam Tallent 39:10 With Blaine?

Narrator 39:11 Yeah. One, the first one was crazy, but then another one happened. First one, you know the, uh, it's an illusion, if you will. There's like a spike, and then there's like bags or cups over one of the spikes, and you gotta like figure out-

Joe Rogan 39:22 Oh, and he hit a spike?

Sam Tallent 39:23 Mm-hmm.

Narrator 39:23 He pulled someone from the crowd, and they picked the wrong one, and his hand-

Joe Rogan 39:26 Oh!

Narrator 39:26 ... went right through it.

Sam Tallent 39:27 Oh!

Joe Rogan 39:27 Oh, no! A guy in the audience did?

Narrator 39:29 It was a woman, but yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:30 Oh, no!

Sam Tallent 39:31 Oh.

Joe Rogan 39:31 A woman's ha- ugh.

Narrator 39:32 No, no. Put his hand through it.

Joe Rogan 39:34 Oh.

Narrator 39:34 Not-

Joe Rogan 39:35 Jesus Christ.

Narrator 39:35 ... not someone from the audience. Sorry. Uh-

Joe Rogan 39:37 Oh.

Narrator 39:37 ... and then another one, he jumped off of a very high thing into boxes-

Joe Rogan 39:40 Mm-hmm.

Narrator 39:41 ... and hit the ground and separated his shoulder.

Joe Rogan 39:43 Oh, no.

Narrator 39:43 And had to have doctors from the crowd come in and try to, like, put it back in place.

Joe Rogan 39:47 Oh, no.

Narrator 39:48 On, on, like, in the middle of the show. It took like an hour.

Joe Rogan 39:50 Oh, no.

Sam Tallent 39:51 This sounds like a work, man.

Narrator 39:52 And he finished with, like, a separated shoulder. That's what it ... It sort of seems that way-

Sam Tallent 39:54 Yeah.

Narrator 39:54 ... 'cause I've seen enough of his shows to be like-

Joe Rogan 39:55 I don't think so, man. I think he, he's a fascinating guy.

Narrator 39:59 Yeah.

Sam Tallent 39:59 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 39:59 Really fucking smart dude, and really nice guy too. And he is obsessed with, like ... First of all, the, the sleight of hand shit, it's, it's insane, right, Jamie?

Narrator 40:10 Oh, yeah. Yeah, no, for sure.

Joe Rogan 40:11 Like, tell me, like, when you were watching it, tell me you weren't, like, absolutely blown away.

Narrator 40:15 There's extra stuff going on that you can't even ... You'd have to break it down for about an hour or two with someone that's really smart.

Joe Rogan 40:19 You'd have to, like, watch him on high speed video, and then slow it down to, like, a couple frames a second.

Narrator 40:27 Here's the jumping accident.

Joe Rogan 40:30 I don't wanna watch this.

Narrator 40:31 But you c- you can barely tell what happens.

Joe Rogan 40:34 Oh, Ju- dude. Ow.

Sam Tallent 40:35 Oh, god. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:35 I can tell what happens? That's a, that's Fear Factor. bro, that shit's ridiculous.

Narrator 40:43 Ah, ah, ah, ah. (laughs)

Sam Tallent 40:45 (laughs) I'm glad he wore a lav mic for that. (laughs)

Narrator 40:48 Well, he's, um, they m- they edited together this video, I guess, but-

Sam Tallent 40:51 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:51 Jesus Christ.

Narrator 40:52 Yeah, he was in pain there.

Joe Rogan 40:53 So, he's a skilled magician, and he's also, like, willing to get hurt.

Sam Tallent 40:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:57 And he also is willing to, like, stand on ice for three days.

Sam Tallent 41:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:00 Like, what the fuck did he do?

Sam Tallent 41:01 Also, that's not magic though. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:03 No. Well, neither was-

Sam Tallent 41:03 That's just jumping.

Joe Rogan 41:04 ... the standing on ice thing.

Sam Tallent 41:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:05 He did a lot of those weird things.

Sam Tallent 41:07 There's a magic to that though. That's like mind over matter. It's like an ancient kind of magic.

Joe Rogan 41:12 Um.

Sam Tallent 41:12 From a time before language.

Joe Rogan 41:13 If it was real mind over matter, you could do it forever. It's not mind over matter. It's just will. You just have to be able to tolerate extreme cold.

Sam Tallent 41:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:23 And just deal with it. And you do breathing exercises to force your body heat-

Sam Tallent 41:27 Right.

Joe Rogan 41:27 ... to stay warmer.

Sam Tallent 41:28 But then there's also, like, the contact of your skin versus the cold that'll eventually-

Joe Rogan 41:32 You get a thermal layer. One of the things that happens when you put ice on something is it develops a thermal layer. Your skin gets really red underneath it.

Sam Tallent 41:40 Huh.

Joe Rogan 41:40 If you, uh, ever look at your, uh, arm when you, uh, pull the ice off-

Sam Tallent 41:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:44 ... like, it's all red, you know. When you get out of an ice bath, your skin's super red.

Sam Tallent 41:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:49 And that's what's going on.

Sam Tallent 41:49 Yes.

Joe Rogan 41:49 You develop a thermal layer.

Sam Tallent 41:51 I look like a newborn baby after an ice bath.

Joe Rogan 41:53 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 41:53 I'm so pink.

Joe Rogan 41:54 Well, I think the same thing is probably, uh, probably applies to that. I think your, after a while, the parts that are touching the ice, it doesn't bother you as much anymore. Like, whether it's the bottom of your feet, you could get frostbite.

Sam Tallent 42:07 Exactly.

Joe Rogan 42:07 Did he have, uh, anything on, under his feet?

Narrator 42:09 He, when he did the ice, he was clothed.

Sam Tallent 42:12 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 42:12 Oh, okay. Well, that makes more sense.

Narrator 42:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:14 Probably have to be, so your i- ... yourf- your body doesn't touch the ice.

Sam Tallent 42:18 Just encased.

Joe Rogan 42:19 Yeah. So, basically-

Sam Tallent 42:21 He went full Encino Man.

Joe Rogan 42:22 ... if you have ... Like, I don't know what he was wearing, right? But you can wear some stuff that's remarkably warm, uh, even if it gets wet, um, like Merino wool.

Sam Tallent 42:33 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:33 Yeah. You can wear, like, a Merino wool layer. He could have, like, a thick layer. And like, what is he wearing when he was in the ice?

Sam Tallent 42:39 He's shirtless right there.

Narrator 42:40 The ice started taking its-

Joe Rogan 42:41 Does he t- go out to take a leak?

Sam Tallent 42:42 Three days.

Narrator 42:43 Buried alive.

Sam Tallent 42:43 No, that's the only way he warms up.

Narrator 42:45 Uh, buried alive. Block of ice for two days.

Joe Rogan 42:47 So, he's in a block of ice shirtless for two days?

Narrator 42:50 It seems like he took it off 'cause he has, uh...

Joe Rogan 42:52 So he's like, "Man, it's hot as fuck in here."Yeah.

Sam Tallent 42:55 Are we sure that's not Drake?

Joe Rogan 42:56 He's a handsome fellow, isn't he?

Sam Tallent 42:58 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:59 Look at his body too.

Sam Tallent 43:00 Legendary pussy getter, this guy.

Joe Rogan 43:01 Look at David Blaine's body.

Sam Tallent 43:02 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:03 Take a look on that like that. Jesus, you sexy bitch.

Sam Tallent 43:05 Yup.

Joe Rogan 43:06 Super, like I said, super nice guy too. Like genuinely nice.

Sam Tallent 43:08 That's how I see myself in my head. (laughs) That's, that's how I think I look up top.

Joe Rogan 43:13 By the way, he was doing magic tricks for everybody.

Sam Tallent 43:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:15 He did them for... My daughter came over, he did it for her. He was doing it-

Sam Tallent 43:17 Ah.

Joe Rogan 43:17 ... for security guys.

Sam Tallent 43:18 Awesome.

Joe Rogan 43:18 He was doing them for everybody. It was amazing.

Sam Tallent 43:20 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:20 It's really dope. And no one, no one figured out what the fuck he's doing.

Sam Tallent 43:23 No, but like Jamie said-

Joe Rogan 43:24 So I don't think-

Sam Tallent 43:24 ... you can't look into it.

Joe Rogan 43:25 Did he let you film him?

Sam Tallent 43:26 Ruins it.

Narrator 43:27 I, I felt bad. I did, I... He didn't say anything. I don't think he knew though.

Joe Rogan 43:31 Oh, he bitched out. He bitched out, that's what he just said.

Narrator 43:33 I felt bad. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:33 I just heard, "I bitched out." If you heard the video-

Sam Tallent 43:36 Has anyone seen the video of him fucking-

Narrator 43:36 Yeah.

Sam Tallent 43:37 ... from right behind, which like he didn't approve. That would be-

Joe Rogan 43:39 Oh, that's true.

Sam Tallent 43:40 That's fucked up.

Joe Rogan 43:40 From behind is bullshit. You can't... But if you can get him from the front and see the hands moving.

Narrator 43:46 Yeah, he was showing someone else the thing and I walked up behind him with my camera out and I was like, "Uh, this feels-"

Sam Tallent 43:51 Couldn't he make the footage disappear?

Joe Rogan 43:53 He can make Jamie disappear.

Sam Tallent 43:54 With that body?

Joe Rogan 43:55 He said Jamie to Epstein's Island.

Sam Tallent 43:56 Oh, yeah. (laughs) You'd love it down there, Jamie.

Narrator 43:59 There was something I found, I saw-

Joe Rogan 44:00 You clean sheets.

Narrator 44:01 ... there was a video recently about this Epstein Island thing.

Sam Tallent 44:04 (laughs)

Narrator 44:04 I was trying to figure this out in the show without-

Sam Tallent 44:06 (laughs) What?

Narrator 44:06 Without showing what they showed, I was trying to prove it.

Joe Rogan 44:09 Bro.

Narrator 44:09 If you go back on Google Maps, this, this part right here, which used to be a tennis court. Let me put it on the screen. It looks like there were...

Joe Rogan 44:19 Dungeons?

Narrator 44:19 Digging of some kind, multiple small holes.

Sam Tallent 44:22 Little graves? Tiny graves?

Joe Rogan 44:24 (gasps)

Narrator 44:24 Let me show you the-

Joe Rogan 44:25 What?

Narrator 44:25 Let me show you the thing, the picture.

Sam Tallent 44:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:27 Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Narrator 44:29 Oh, no.

Joe Rogan 44:30 First of all, why would you do that when you have the ocean right there?

Sam Tallent 44:32 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:32 That doesn't make any sense.

Sam Tallent 44:33 Also, one of those creeps doesn't want to eat the kid after he fucks him?

Joe Rogan 44:36 But if you drop someone, a dead body in the ocean, I would think that'd be a way better way of disposing a dead body.

Sam Tallent 44:41 Yeah, for sure. And then you have chum.

Joe Rogan 44:43 Yeah, and but no one-

Sam Tallent 44:44 You have sushi.

Joe Rogan 44:44 No one's gonna notice it.

Sam Tallent 44:45 No. (laughs) God.

Narrator 44:47 There's a video.

Joe Rogan 44:47 Oh, it's a tennis court.

Narrator 44:48 Hold on, hold on.

Sam Tallent 44:49 I like how there's directions. (laughs)

Narrator 44:50 No there's over, it's over time. See, that's how it used to look.

Joe Rogan 44:52 Okay, right.

Narrator 44:53 And that's how it kind of looks now.

Joe Rogan 44:54 Okay.

Sam Tallent 44:55 Whoa.

Narrator 44:55 Like they buried, they put up this weird wall.

Joe Rogan 44:57 Right.

Sam Tallent 44:57 It's like a Mayan ball court.

Narrator 44:59 And it's covered over.

Joe Rogan 44:59 Okay.

Narrator 45:00 I'm trying to find the picture I saw. Uh-

Joe Rogan 45:02 Where, is this some 4chan shit?

Narrator 45:04 A li- a li- a little bit, 100%. That's what I was-

Joe Rogan 45:08 (gasps) (laughs)

Narrator 45:08 That's what I was trying to find. Real proof.

Joe Rogan 45:10 A little bit. A little bit, 100%.

Narrator 45:12 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 45:12 Jamie just went full QAnon.

Joe Rogan 45:15 (laughs)

Narrator 45:15 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 45:15 That's where all the good stuff comes from.

Narrator 45:16 Where we go one, we go all.

Sam Tallent 45:18 (laughs)

Narrator 45:18 He went all in. (laughs)

Sam Tallent 45:21 You're through the looking glass, Jamie.

Narrator 45:22 Bro.

Joe Rogan 45:23 (laughs)

Narrator 45:24 There's still, I feel like there's still stuff up with this that we're never gonna find out.

Joe Rogan 45:27 I saw a dude recently with a jacket on, like a bomber jacket that said, "Where we go one, we go all."

Sam Tallent 45:31 No. No, dude.

Joe Rogan 45:32 Yes.

Sam Tallent 45:32 You gotta give up, man.

Joe Rogan 45:33 We did, we went all in.

Sam Tallent 45:34 (laughs) Yeah, you guys lost.

Joe Rogan 45:36 I met some lady. I met some lady in, um, in Aspen. And, uh, she was with her, her daughters. She was like, in her probably early 60s. And, uh, she comes up to me, "I love you."

Sam Tallent 45:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:48 I am so... I'm like, "Oh, thank you. That's so nice to you." She goes, "And Donald Trump's our real president."

Sam Tallent 45:52 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:52 I'm like, "He's definitely not."

Sam Tallent 45:54 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:55 And his daughters, her daughters rather, were crying. They were laughing so hard. They're like, "Our mom's crazy."

Sam Tallent 46:00 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:00 I'm like, "Your mom's crazy."

Sam Tallent 46:02 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:04 So we called her QAnon Mom all weekend.

Sam Tallent 46:07 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:07 Keep an eye out for QAnon Mom around the town.

Sam Tallent 46:09 It's crazy. That was the-

Joe Rogan 46:10 Nice lady. Very nice lady.

Sam Tallent 46:12 She sounds great.

Joe Rogan 46:12 Sweetheart of a lady.

Sam Tallent 46:13 Yeah. That was the thought she had to communicate to you?

Joe Rogan 46:16 She just wanted to let me know, "I'm a patriot as well."

Sam Tallent 46:18 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:18 Like, "Oh, no. What have I... I gotta like look at some of them TikTok clips."

Sam Tallent 46:22 Yeah, dude. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:23 People getting the wrong impression of me. (laughs) It's like, "I was a Bernie Sanders supporter."

Sam Tallent 46:27 I know. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:28 These people are so silly.

Sam Tallent 46:29 Yeah. People love to fucking try and make people into what they aren't, you know.

Joe Rogan 46:33 Oh, my God. They try to force them into a narrative.

Sam Tallent 46:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:35 Well, it's, for me, it's just 'cause... First of all, it's, it looks like I should be.

Sam Tallent 46:39 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:39 I'm a meathead.

Sam Tallent 46:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:40 You know, I'm covered in tattoos.

Sam Tallent 46:42 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 46:42 And I do cage fighting commentary.

Sam Tallent 46:44 Right. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:44 And I'm a dirty comedian.

Sam Tallent 46:45 There's no way you're progressive. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:47 And I do offensive comedy.

Sam Tallent 46:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:50 Yeah. But so-

Sam Tallent 46:51 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:51 ... you get, you get just lumped in.

Sam Tallent 46:53 Yeah, I know, man.

Joe Rogan 46:53 But it's fun to be lumped in. It's fun. Because one thing that, that happens is people like severely, uh, underestimate your ability to like have a conversation with them about things.

Sam Tallent 47:03 Right.

Joe Rogan 47:03 If they're cocky and shitty-

Sam Tallent 47:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:05 ... you know, like some, some people just say things. They, they don't even know what they're talking about.

Sam Tallent 47:09 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:09 They're just like repeating a narrative.

Sam Tallent 47:10 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 47:10 And you say, "Actually, that's not true."

Sam Tallent 47:12 Right.

Joe Rogan 47:12 "And here's why it's not true." And then you see this like look of panic when they realize that they're, they're going on assumptions.

Narrator 47:18 So they went back on the land here and this was in 2006, that's what it looked like.

Joe Rogan 47:23 (gasps) What the fuck?

Narrator 47:24 Which is when ob- obviously he was, they were there and that stuff was going on still.

Joe Rogan 47:28 Bro.

Sam Tallent 47:29 And those aren't just like-

Joe Rogan 47:30 What if those are-

Sam Tallent 47:30 ... where baby turtle eggs were laid?

Joe Rogan 47:32 Or-

Narrator 47:32 It doesn't appear that way.

Joe Rogan 47:33 Or no, no, it seems, it seems like it's pretty high up. I think those, that's where the tapes are, buddy. That's where the tape... I don't... I wouldn't say bodies. I would say if you're gonna bury bodies, you'd bury them in the ocean.

Sam Tallent 47:43 Or you burn them.

Joe Rogan 47:44 You take them down to the... Yeah, you could do that. You could-

Sam Tallent 47:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:47 You could burn them and take them out to the ocean. Like, why would you... When you have the best place to get rid of a body ever-

Sam Tallent 47:52 Right.

Joe Rogan 47:52 ... why would you put the shittiest place to get rid of a body?

Sam Tallent 47:55 Sand. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:55 Shallow grave.

Narrator 47:56 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:57 Shallow grave in a very obvious place where people can photograph it with satellites.

Sam Tallent 48:01 Right.

Joe Rogan 48:01 When you're already some sort of intelligence operation.

Sam Tallent 48:04 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 48:04 Like get the fuck out of here. You're not gonna do that.

Sam Tallent 48:05 Yeah, when you have Mossad behind you, you're gonna do poppers' graves?

Joe Rogan 48:08 Yeah. Unless you're so cocky, like, "Fucking put them anywhere. Who gives a fuck?"

Sam Tallent 48:11 Who cares? We're untouchable.

Narrator 48:13 This is one of the last things I remember hearing when he died, was that he had a big giant cement truck shipped out to the island.

Sam Tallent 48:18 Hmm.

Narrator 48:19 And everyone was like, "What?"

Joe Rogan 48:19 Three, four damning exposés was released, paying machine up, for machine up front so it would arrive quicker, as experts say he could have literally covered up evidence. Oh, Jesus.

Sam Tallent 48:29 That is bad branding. Pedophile island? They should have fought for something different.

Joe Rogan 48:33 You know that island's still for sale.

Sam Tallent 48:34 Yeah, yeah. You thinking about it?

Joe Rogan 48:35 We had, we had discussions.

Sam Tallent 48:36 Oh, yeah?

Joe Rogan 48:37 About purchasing it for a podcast island.

Sam Tallent 48:40 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:41 Doing the podcast in that big, uh...

Sam Tallent 48:44 Dude.

Joe Rogan 48:45 ... mosque.

Sam Tallent 48:45 Yes.

Joe Rogan 48:45 What is it? What does he have?

Sam Tallent 48:46 That temple.

Joe Rogan 48:47 Temple.

Narrator 48:47 Yeah, it's still there.

Joe Rogan 48:48 Yeah. Yeah, that temple.

Sam Tallent 48:49 Dude.

Joe Rogan 48:49 This is the thought.

Sam Tallent 48:50 You have to.

Joe Rogan 48:50 Like the temple's beautiful on the outside. It's like the colors of the Israeli flag.

Sam Tallent 48:54 It's soundproof in there already.

Joe Rogan 48:56 There's no way he's Mossad.

Sam Tallent 48:57 No.

Joe Rogan 48:57 Not when he has a fucking building the color of the Israeli flag.

Sam Tallent 49:00 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:00 That's like...... I mean, that's like if you went to Kid Rock's house-

Sam Tallent 49:04 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:04 ... and it had a fucking giant-

Sam Tallent 49:06 The rebel flag.

Joe Rogan 49:06 ... billiard hall that is col- covered in an American flag from the roof.

Sam Tallent 49:09 (laughs) Uh-

Joe Rogan 49:10 Right? That's, that like makes sense.

Sam Tallent 49:11 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:11 This guy literally ... This is how much he supports Israel. He, he turned his fucking temple into an Israeli flag.

Sam Tallent 49:17 It's on the nose. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:18 It's so on the nose.

Sam Tallent 49:19 If you put that in a script, they'd be like-

Joe Rogan 49:20 Yeah. "So on the nose."

Sam Tallent 49:22 ... "We get ... " (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:22 "Let's, um... We would have to hire a couple of Jews for representation."

Sam Tallent 49:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:26 Because, I mean, we want to make sure that this is appropriate."

Sam Tallent 49:28 Just have Ari live there.

Joe Rogan 49:29 Yes. Ari can ... Ari will run the island.

Sam Tallent 49:31 Uh-

Joe Rogan 49:32 Ari needs a podcast studio and he likes to be away from people.

Sam Tallent 49:34 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:34 So, maybe that's actually a good spot for him.

Sam Tallent 49:36 You're doing him a favor. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:37 Yeah. Yeah. It's probably a good idea.

Sam Tallent 49:39 And it's a write-off.

Joe Rogan 49:40 But if you, if you bought Pedophile Island-

Sam Tallent 49:42 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:43 ... um, you would have to destroy all the buildings, because I'm sure they're all bugged to hell.

Sam Tallent 49:47 Oh, for sure.

Joe Rogan 49:48 With some high-tech shit that you, you're never gonna be able to spot.

Sam Tallent 49:51 There's a camera in every toilet in there.

Joe Rogan 49:52 Which would be terrible for comedians.

Sam Tallent 49:54 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:54 They talk so much shit.

Sam Tallent 49:55 I know, dude.

Joe Rogan 49:55 And try to have, be silly.

Sam Tallent 49:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:57 And if you audio that ... But then again, you also-

Sam Tallent 50:00 Look, it's one thing if you're on the Pedophile Island, but if you riff and use the N-word-

Joe Rogan 50:04 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 50:04 ... it's all over for you.

Joe Rogan 50:06 And here's the other thing. With, um, AI today, how would you even know what's real? How the fuck would you even ... Is this it?

Narrator 50:13 These guys snuck up there re- ... I don't know when this was recently.

Joe Rogan 50:14 Oh, my God. Look at that place.

Sam Tallent 50:16 Yes.

Joe Rogan 50:17 Bro, that place is dope. That looks almost Alex Gray style.

Sam Tallent 50:20 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 50:20 Look how beautiful it is.

Sam Tallent 50:21 It is.

Narrator 50:21 It's really just a facade, but we don't know what's underneath it or anything.

Sam Tallent 50:24 'Cause that door is not real, right?

Narrator 50:25 Yeah, the door isn't real. It's painted.

Joe Rogan 50:26 JE ... The door is painted.

Sam Tallent 50:28 It could be JR.

Narrator 50:29 There's a window that you can see here.

Joe Rogan 50:31 Yes, JRE.

Sam Tallent 50:31 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 50:32 JRE.

Narrator 50:33 So you can see there's a window there.

Joe Rogan 50:34 Okay, so inside-

Sam Tallent 50:35 What a shitty window.

Joe Rogan 50:36 Yeah. And so inside is that area where we'll set up the tables.

Sam Tallent 50:40 Yeah.

Narrator 50:40 Nice window.

Joe Rogan 50:40 And we're gonna need Elon's help to get like solid satellite WiFi out there.

Sam Tallent 50:44 Yeah.

Narrator 50:45 Nice view.

Sam Tallent 50:45 You could just project Tim Dillon's face on the side of it.

Joe Rogan 50:48 See, that's kind of small for a studio. We might have to expand.

Sam Tallent 50:51 Yeah.

Narrator 50:52 Make some more windows.

Sam Tallent 50:52 It was built for kids. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 50:53 This is ... (laughs)

Sam Tallent 50:56 They didn't have adults-

Narrator 50:58 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 50:58 (laughs) They didn't have adults in mind when they built that thing.

Joe Rogan 51:01 No.

Sam Tallent 51:01 If you think that's small, you should see the cages.

Joe Rogan 51:03 Imagine if you go in there, it's a bouncy house.

Sam Tallent 51:05 (laughs) Yeah, it's a ball pit.

Joe Rogan 51:07 You son of a bitch.

Sam Tallent 51:08 (laughs) Yeah. I have to take my shoes off still?

Joe Rogan 51:10 Kids, you guys wanna go to the ultimate bouncy house?

Sam Tallent 51:12 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:12 I'm talking on an island, on a private island, just a bouncy house.

Sam Tallent 51:16 You wanna go where Mr. Chuck E. Cheese lives?

Joe Rogan 51:19 Do you know Alex Jones told me about that place a long time ago.

Sam Tallent 51:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:22 It was one of the things that ... Alex tells you stuff and he'll say like all these things that make sense, and then he'll tell you one where you go, "Wait a minute."

Sam Tallent 51:29 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:29 This was one of the wait a minutes.

Sam Tallent 51:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:31 "There's an island. They take them, they, they have underage girls and they, they compromise them sexually."

Sam Tallent 51:36 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:36 I was like, "What?"

Sam Tallent 51:37 It's like he's here.

Joe Rogan 51:38 (laughs)

Narrator 51:38 These guys hung out there apparently.

Joe Rogan 51:40 These guys hung out on the island?

Narrator 51:41 I mean, this is posted two vid- two years ago, same video.

Sam Tallent 51:44 Oh.

Joe Rogan 51:44 Oh, wow.

Narrator 51:45 They're-

Joe Rogan 51:46 They just kept going back.

Narrator 51:46 ... snooping around. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:47 Well, I bet there's no one there. Like who the fuck wants to be the guy guarding Pedophile Island?

Sam Tallent 51:51 Yeah, who's the groundskeeper?

Joe Rogan 51:53 Probably nobody wants to go there. I bet you can go there. How come taggers haven't showed up yet?

Sam Tallent 51:57 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:57 You guys are really just depressing me with your lack of ambition.

Sam Tallent 52:00 Yeah, let's get some graffiti heads.

Joe Rogan 52:00 It's so easy to just tag Downtown LA.

Sam Tallent 52:02 Right. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:03 Get out to Pedophile Island and leave your fucking mark.

Sam Tallent 52:06 You think a moving subway car is cool? (laughs) Get out there, tag up the temple.

Joe Rogan 52:09 Imagine if we put that out there in the world.

Sam Tallent 52:12 We just did.

Joe Rogan 52:12 And then cut to taggers-

Sam Tallent 52:15 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:16 ... in fucking speed boats with like giant sacks of spray paint are headed towards Pedophile Island.

Sam Tallent 52:21 It just says, "Bert Kreischer is fat." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:23 Yeah. Uh, I know a guy who's a tagger, uh, in LA. He's, uh, he's an interesting guy and he's really good at it. He makes cool shit. Like it's, it's cool and int- ... It's an art form. It's illegal. You shouldn't do it. You're doing it to people's houses and shit and property.

Sam Tallent 52:39 (sighs) I don't know.

Joe Rogan 52:40 Well, most of them don't do it to houses and property.

Sam Tallent 52:41 No.

Joe Rogan 52:41 They do it to like abandoned buildings, which is fine.

Sam Tallent 52:44 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 52:44 And they do it to like, like structures under the LA River, which like who the fuck is going down there?

Sam Tallent 52:49 Yeah, a lot of bridge pillars and shit.

Joe Rogan 52:50 Yeah.

Sam Tallent 52:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:51 The LA River is a weird thing, man, 'cause it's-

Sam Tallent 52:52 It's barely a river.

Joe Rogan 52:53 You know what it really is? It's an excuse to pollute the ocean.

Sam Tallent 52:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:57 That's really what it is.

Sam Tallent 52:58 How so?

Joe Rogan 52:59 Because it runs ... It's covered in cement. It's just a big cement thing and it runs straight into the ocean.

Sam Tallent 53:05 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 53:06 So anytime it rains, all the shit from all the streets gets in that water.

Sam Tallent 53:11 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 53:12 All the shit, and then that shit goes out into the ocean. There was a guy that I used to take yoga with. He was a yoga instructor from Australia. In Australia, he surfed all the time and so when he came to America, that's one of the reasons why he wanted to teach out here on the coast, or out there on the coast is that he could surf all the time. And no one told him to not surf after the rain.

Sam Tallent 53:32 Oh, shit.

Joe Rogan 53:33 Because apparently when you surf after like heavy rain, like it's been raining like now, all the pollution from all of the oil and all the cars and all the fucking bottles and cans and everything-

Sam Tallent 53:43 Used needles.

Joe Rogan 53:44 It all just goes out that big, giant cement trough-

Sam Tallent 53:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:48 ... into the ocean.

Sam Tallent 53:49 Just a bunch of spec scripts in there.

Joe Rogan 53:50 See if you can find what it looks like, what the LA River looks like. Like there was a-

Sam Tallent 53:54 This is, this is where they ... Like the big concrete enclosure-

Joe Rogan 53:56 Exactly.

Sam Tallent 53:56 ... where they have car races and all the Fast and the Fur- Furious movies?

Joe Rogan 53:59 Exactly.

Sam Tallent 53:59 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:00 A lot of times it's dry.

Sam Tallent 54:01 Okay.

Joe Rogan 54:01 And sometimes ... And people fish in it.

Sam Tallent 54:03 Ugh, God.

Joe Rogan 54:03 There's, there's videos of guys fishing in it and catching the fish and eating them and cooking-

Sam Tallent 54:06 No. What's in there?

Joe Rogan 54:07 Yes.

Sam Tallent 54:07 Carp? Gar?

Joe Rogan 54:09 (exhales) I don't know what's in there.

Sam Tallent 54:11 Ugh, dude.

Joe Rogan 54:11 Probably carp. Probably carp and maybe some other like b- bluegills or something like that. Maybe. I don't know.

Sam Tallent 54:18 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:18 I don't know what's in there, but this guy catches them and cooks them and eats them and, uh-

Sam Tallent 54:22 God.

Joe Rogan 54:22 ... it's really disturbing 'cause like I know you're doing this for the Gram, buddy.

Sam Tallent 54:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:25 But you might die from this. Like-

Sam Tallent 54:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:27 ... who the fuck knows what's in that water?

Sam Tallent 54:29 Not me.

Joe Rogan 54:31 So this is the LA River.

Sam Tallent 54:32 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 54:32 It's really bad, man.

Sam Tallent 54:33 God, dude.

Joe Rogan 54:34 Look at this. They're just pulling giant chunks of shit. There's so much trash and so the LA River, when it runs into the ocean, this fucking dude was out there surfing-

Sam Tallent 54:44 Ugh. Fuck.

Joe Rogan 54:44 And he said, "Dude." He goes, "Man, I got really, really sick."

Sam Tallent 54:47 Yeah. Oh, shit.

Joe Rogan 54:48 Like he goes, "I, I just was really bedridden. I felt terrible." And then people told him, "Yeah, man, you can't-" He's like, "Oh, great. It's after the rain. Perfect. No one's out here. Great waves, you know, kind of stormy."

Sam Tallent 54:59 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 54:59 Uh, no, buddy. You gotta stay the fuck out of there.

Sam Tallent 55:02 Oh my God, dude.

Joe Rogan 55:04 It's really weird, man. Crews rescue a man from the rain-swollen LA River. Oh, the guy got trapped.

Sam Tallent 55:09 He was down there fishing.

Joe Rogan 55:10 I wonder what happened. He probably fell in, man.

Sam Tallent 55:12 He was probably drunk. I j- every time I've fallen in a river, I've been drunk.

Joe Rogan 55:16 This is wild. So is that the rescue guy?

Narrator 55:18 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 55:18 Where's the dude?

Narrator 55:19 Right here.

Joe Rogan 55:20 Oh, Jesus. So they gotta swing him over?

Sam Tallent 55:22 Oh.

Joe Rogan 55:22 That is crazy. Imagine rescuing this dipshit going, "Hey, bro, what the fuck are you doing? You're gonna get me killed."

Sam Tallent 55:28 "I was waiting for my Uber."

Joe Rogan 55:29 Look at this. He got ... oh, and he hit the wall.

Sam Tallent 55:31 Oh. Oh.

Joe Rogan 55:32 Hang on, bitch. That guy's not even holding onto that guy. Do they have him on a harness? Oh, they do. Okay, they have him on a harness. Look, he's got him in full guard. He's got his back mount.

Sam Tallent 55:42 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 55:43 So the guy better watch his neck.

Narrator 55:45 All right.

Joe Rogan 55:46 Wow. So the LA river's kind of fucked.

Sam Tallent 55:49 Kind of? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 55:49 It's kind of, it's kind of not really a river.

Sam Tallent 55:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:51 I mean, it is a river, I guess. I don't know what it was before they cemented it up, but that's what it looks like. Like look at that. That's a car floating down the LA River. And that goes straight into the ocean.

Sam Tallent 56:01 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:01 So all that runoff from all those streets and all those cities and all that pollution, I don't think there's a filter that stops it when it gets to the ocean.

Sam Tallent 56:09 There's not a filter big enough.

Joe Rogan 56:11 Yeah, there's not a filter big enough.

Sam Tallent 56:13 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 56:13 It's kinda crazy.

Sam Tallent 56:14 It's not kinda crazy. That-

Joe Rogan 56:16 There's a great song, LA River by Honey Honey.

Sam Tallent 56:18 Okay.

Joe Rogan 56:19 Who's a, uh, uh, friends of mine-

Sam Tallent 56:21 Yeah?

Joe Rogan 56:21 ... from, uh, LA. Yeah. It's a great song, but it's about how (laughs) fucked up ... One of th- one of the lines is, "Thought I saw a body by the weeds."

Sam Tallent 56:30 That's where River Phoenix died.

Joe Rogan 56:32 He died in front of the, uh-

Sam Tallent 56:34 The Viper Room.

Joe Rogan 56:34 ... Viper Room, right?

Sam Tallent 56:35 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 56:35 Yeah.

Sam Tallent 56:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:36 So that's what it looks like with water and without water. Show it again without water. So when you go down there without water, people are like hanging out down there and-

Sam Tallent 56:43 You can skateboard, ride your bike.

Joe Rogan 56:44 Mm-hmm.

Sam Tallent 56:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:45 But there's a lot of, like, fucking sketchy people hanging out.

Sam Tallent 56:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:48 And y- if you're deciding like, "What do you wanna do today, man?" "Let's go down to the fucking LA River and start some shit." Like ... (laughs)

Sam Tallent 56:57 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:57 I mean, you're dealing with the dregs of society.

Sam Tallent 56:59 Let's go beat up some water hobos.

Joe Rogan 57:01 There's not an iPhone to be found.

Sam Tallent 57:02 No, dude. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:03 There's ... (laughs)

Sam Tallent 57:03 A lot of flip phones.

Joe Rogan 57:04 A lot of Androids. Well, like ...

Sam Tallent 57:07 (laughs) Those old car phones that aren't plugged in.

Joe Rogan 57:08 A lot of burner 7-Eleven phones.

Sam Tallent 57:10 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 57:11 A lot of people just living out of their shopping cart. A lot of, like, crazy people, homeless people, wild people.

Sam Tallent 57:15 Have you seen the shopping carts that are turned into grills?

Joe Rogan 57:19 No, but that's a good move.

Sam Tallent 57:19 That's a really good move.

Joe Rogan 57:20 Solid move.

Sam Tallent 57:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:21 Yeah, I mean, shopping carts, you could steal them, right?

Sam Tallent 57:23 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:24 And if you just ... it's the right metal, yeah.

Sam Tallent 57:26 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 57:26 Makes sense.

Sam Tallent 57:26 You just turn it on its side, catch a fish, put it on there.

Joe Rogan 57:29 The fucked up place is San Francisco 'cause they pay them. They pay them to be homeless.

Sam Tallent 57:33 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 57:33 They give 'em money every month. And guys move there to be homeless.

Sam Tallent 57:36 Yeah, it's a g- good come up for the outside people.

Joe Rogan 57:39 Did you see about that dude, the Cash App guy who got stabbed there?

Sam Tallent 57:41 Yeah, of course. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:42 There's video apparently of him like trying to get help-

Narrator 57:45 Yep.

Sam Tallent 57:46 Oh, no.

Joe Rogan 57:46 ... collapsing, getting back up, trying to get help.

Sam Tallent 57:48 Begging for help?

Joe Rogan 57:49 Trying to get help. I don't ... I don't know exactly what it w- ... I didn't wanna watch it.

Sam Tallent 57:52 Ugh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:52 I don't wanna watch a guy die.

Sam Tallent 57:54 No, it's not my thing. You ever faces of death?

Joe Rogan 57:57 I do. You know, I was just talking to, uh, um, uh, the Protect Our Parks guys today.

Sam Tallent 58:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:02 We were talking about this 'cause I'd watched one too many accident videos for the day.

Sam Tallent 58:06 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 58:06 I was like, "How many accidents are you guys seeing?"

Sam Tallent 58:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:08 'Cause on, on Instagram in particular, I see so many car accidents.

Sam Tallent 58:12 Oh, I hate it.

Joe Rogan 58:12 So many people getting hit when they're on a motorcycle. So many people on motorcycles hitting cars and going flying into the air. Like, I'm seeing so much of that, so much more than I ever saw before.

Sam Tallent 58:22 You gotta get outta that algorithm, man.

Joe Rogan 58:24 Oh, it's too late for that.

Sam Tallent 58:25 Is it?

Joe Rogan 58:26 Yeah, my algorithm's chaos.

Sam Tallent 58:28 Mine's clean.

Joe Rogan 58:29 What is yours?

Sam Tallent 58:29 Mine's pretty good, man. It's-

Joe Rogan 58:30 What you got in there?

Sam Tallent 58:31 It's, uh, large saggy breasts and then cooking videos.

Joe Rogan 58:34 I have a lot of cooking videos, but-

Sam Tallent 58:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:35 ... but I also have a lot of car accidents.

Sam Tallent 58:37 Yeah, I don't have any car accidents.

Joe Rogan 58:38 I wa- I have a lot of people getting shot. There's a lot of, uh, people getting attacked by animals.

Sam Tallent 58:43 Oh.

Joe Rogan 58:43 There's a lot of animals attacking other animals.

Sam Tallent 58:45 What's going on over there, Joe?

Joe Rogan 58:47 Yeah. Yeah.

Sam Tallent 58:48 That's what's catching your eye?

Joe Rogan 58:49 Uh-huh.

Sam Tallent 58:50 Okay. Well ... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:52 (laughs)

Sam Tallent 58:52 Mine's all, like, uh, tours of the Amsterdam River and shit.

Joe Rogan 58:55 Today, I spent quite a fit of time, quite a bit of time watching an eagle paralyze a hyena.

Sam Tallent 59:00 Wow.

Joe Rogan 59:01 He had landed on the hyena's back and he's pulling the hyena's spine apart.

Sam Tallent 59:04 Oh, I like that.

Joe Rogan 59:05 And the hyena has ... His back legs aren't working, so he's trying to drag himself away-

Sam Tallent 59:09 Oh.

Joe Rogan 59:09 ... from this eagle.

Sam Tallent 59:10 Like Le- Lieutenant Dan.

Joe Rogan 59:11 With his ... He's bouncing around. He's actually incredibly strong. He can actually, like, suspend his back legs and move with his front arms 'cause hyenas are that strong.

Sam Tallent 59:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:19 But this eagle's eating his back. It's wild to watch. It's like-

Sam Tallent 59:22 I couldn't escape an eagle.

Joe Rogan 59:23 ... Jesus Christ, nature so brutal.

Sam Tallent 59:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:26 You ever see the Mongolians when they, uh, have, uh, eagles-

Sam Tallent 59:28 Of course.

Joe Rogan 59:28 ... on their arms and they chase 'em after wolves?

Sam Tallent 59:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:30 They let 'em go to kill wolves.

Sam Tallent 59:31 Mm-hmm. Yeah, and they have those hoods for the eagles and the hawks. That's a beautiful life, living on the Mongolian steppe, just eating horse milk all the time, hunting with a bird.

Joe Rogan 59:40 Back in the day.

Sam Tallent 59:42 I mean, currently.

Joe Rogan 59:43 I don't think those guys do it all the time.

Sam Tallent 59:44 I think they have competitions out there.

Joe Rogan 59:46 What's that right there?

Narrator 59:47 Well, I, I ... There's another video I saw I was trying to find, but this popped up too. There's people that do, like, drive-by falconry.

Joe Rogan 59:51 What the fuck?

Sam Tallent 59:51 Oh my God, so you throw him and he just jacks a bird.

Narrator 59:53 Yeah.

Sam Tallent 59:54 Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 59:54 What the fuck?

Sam Tallent 59:55 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:55 Isn't that crazy? Because they're not that much bigger than the birds they're jacking. You know, it's like if, if defensive linemen-

Sam Tallent 1:00:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:02 ... were running around, they're jacking and eating people.

Sam Tallent 1:00:04 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:00:05 You know what I'm saying?

Sam Tallent 1:00:06 Yeah. (laughs) If Warren Sapp got loose.

Joe Rogan 1:00:08 Yes, yes.

Sam Tallent 1:00:09 (laughs) They just shove Warren Sapp out of a window.

Joe Rogan 1:00:11 Bro.

Sam Tallent 1:00:11 Ndamukong Suh for sure has eaten someone.

Joe Rogan 1:00:13 Deric Wolfe was in here the other day.

Sam Tallent 1:00:14 Oh, yeah, former Bronco.

Joe Rogan 1:00:16 Former Viking.

Sam Tallent 1:00:17 Former Bronco.

Joe Rogan 1:00:17 Did fucking go back in the li- lineage.

Sam Tallent 1:00:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:19 There's not a doubt in my mind that somewhere in his ancestry there was a bunch of people on a fucking boat-

Sam Tallent 1:00:25 Sure, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:25 ... waiting to cut people's heads off.

Sam Tallent 1:00:27 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 1:00:27 100%.

Sam Tallent 1:00:28 He's a berserker.

Joe Rogan 1:00:29 100%. Now imagine if guys like him were like that falcon just running around jacking smaller things.

Sam Tallent 1:00:37 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:00:37 Like how could ... (laughs) Not that much different. A guy like him eating a guy like me-

Sam Tallent 1:00:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:44 ... is not that much different than a falcon taking out a crow.

Sam Tallent 1:00:47 No, I think he-

Joe Rogan 1:00:48 Not that much different.

Sam Tallent 1:00:49 (laughs) Not that different.

Joe Rogan 1:00:50 Not that different at all.

Sam Tallent 1:00:50 I think he would eat me first.

Joe Rogan 1:00:52 He'd eat whoever the fuck he wants to eat.

Sam Tallent 1:00:53 Whoever he wants at any time.

Joe Rogan 1:00:54 Who're you gonna do, stop him from eating you?

Sam Tallent 1:00:55 He'd be lucky if he ate you.

Joe Rogan 1:00:57 Yeah.

Sam Tallent 1:00:57 That'd be better than what he also could do to you.

Joe Rogan 1:00:59 Yeah.

Sam Tallent 1:01:00 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:00 I used to have a joke about Brock Lesnar, that I'm not worried Brock would rape me.

Sam Tallent 1:01:03 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:03 I'm worried he would use me as a condom to rape something way bigger.

Sam Tallent 1:01:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:10 (laughs) ... like, "Brock, why are we going to the zoo?" "Shut the fuck up!"

Sam Tallent 1:01:14 (laughs) He's just rolling up to the panda cage with you in a bag.

Joe Rogan 1:01:18 Yeah.

Sam Tallent 1:01:18 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:18 He shoots the locks off.

Sam Tallent 1:01:20 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:21 There's a video of, uh, Brock Lesnar shooting prairie dogs with a .50 caliber rifle.

Sam Tallent 1:01:25 What? How much prairie dog existed after that?

Joe Rogan 1:01:28 Very little.

Sam Tallent 1:01:28 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:29 Very little.

Sam Tallent 1:01:29 He's-

Joe Rogan 1:01:30 And I was like, "Why would someone do that?"

Sam Tallent 1:01:31 ... liquefied.

Joe Rogan 1:01:31 But then someone informed me of what prairie dogs do. A lot of horses, they fall into their holes and snap their legs.

Sam Tallent 1:01:37 (laughs) Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 1:01:39 Yeah. It's a problem.

Sam Tallent 1:01:40 Nature sucks, man. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:41 Nature sucks fat dicks.

Sam Tallent 1:01:42 It's no good. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:43 It's so mean.

Sam Tallent 1:01:44 The more I find out about it, the more I wanna know less.

Joe Rogan 1:01:47 Bro, it's so mean.

Sam Tallent 1:01:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:48 Yeah.

Sam Tallent 1:01:49 Dolphins, dolphins just fucking puffer fish and passing them around, getting high off of them?

Joe Rogan 1:01:53 Well, wha- what I watched today is probably the most ruthless shit.

Sam Tallent 1:01:56 Oh, no.

Joe Rogan 1:01:57 I was, I was talking to a friend of mine today, the lady who gives me the IVs. I get an IV, uh, twice a week, like a vitamin IV-

Sam Tallent 1:02:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:04 ... an NADIV. And so we were watching, uh... Well, we're talking about nature, and, w- I... Uh, did you ever see the, uh, hornets killing the bees?

Sam Tallent 1:02:13 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:02:14 Killing the honeybees?

Sam Tallent 1:02:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:15 It's-

Sam Tallent 1:02:15 Don't they vibrate around them?

Joe Rogan 1:02:16 No, no, that's how the honeybees kill the hornets.

Sam Tallent 1:02:18 Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:02:18 But most of the time, they don't do that.

Sam Tallent 1:02:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:21 See, the thing is, if the hornets can get into the hive, if there's a crack where they can get into the hive, it's pretty much over. They-

Sam Tallent 1:02:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:02:28 They get in there and they kill everything, and then they eat the babies.

Sam Tallent 1:02:31 (laughs) Fuck.

Joe Rogan 1:02:32 So we were watching this today, I was like, "What kind of fucking bizarre life form are insects?"

Sam Tallent 1:02:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:38 What kind of ruthless shit that's going on right outside of our eyes? See, they got into this crack, and they just... They killed the fuck out of everyone. They