Joe Rogan Experience #2011 - Tony Woods

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast,…

   1. NANarrator0:00

      (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience. (energetic music) Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.

   2. JRJoe Rogan0:12

      Tony Woods, what's happening, baby?

   3. TWTony Woods0:14

      What's happening with you, Joe?

   4. JRJoe Rogan0:15

      Good to see you, my friend.

   5. TWTony Woods0:16

      Man, I'm glad you have me back, dog.

   6. JRJoe Rogan0:18

      I'm glad you came back.

   7. TWTony Woods0:19

      (laughs) You know-

   8. JRJoe Rogan0:20

      It was good seeing you last night.

   9. TWTony Woods0:21

      ... 'cause I was like, uh... 'Cause somebody said, "Hey, Joe got a new club." I was like, "You do?" And just... I, I just sent you a text like, "Hey, man, let me do your club."

   10. JRJoe Rogan0:30

       (laughs)

   11. TWTony Woods0:30

       And you hit me back, "Okay." I'm like, "Well, all right. Well, what's up?" (laughs)

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:33

       Yeah. Oh, I'm excited. This weekend.

   13. TWTony Woods0:35

       Yes.

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:35

       That's gonna be fun.

   15. TWTony Woods0:36

       It is, man.

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:37

       You're gonna love it.

   17. TWTony Woods0:38

       Yeah, well, th- you got... You done put the village right down here in Texas, man.

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:43

       Yeah.

   19. TWTony Woods0:43

       Like, like, back in the day when they had the comedy club here-

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:45

       Mm-hmm.

   21. TWTony Woods0:45

       ... come... We'd go to the Boston Comedy Club, go to Celtic, go to, duh, duh, duh, duh. All of that. That's how it is. It's just bouncing around. So...

   22. JRJoe Rogan0:52

       (sighs) Yeah, we got five clubs on one street.

   23. TWTony Woods0:54

       Bang. But you got the-

   24. JRJoe Rogan0:56

       Yeah, the Mothership.

   25. TWTony Woods0:57

       ... you got the Madison Square Garden.

   26. JRJoe Rogan0:58

       We got the Mothership.

   27. TWTony Woods0:59

       Yeah, you got the Mothership. I said (laughs) ... I said to somebody... I said, "I'm going to Austin to do the Mothership." He says, "Wow, that's gonna be a long flight. You flying through Boston to go to Africa?" I'm like, "No."

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:12

       What? (laughs)

   29. TWTony Woods1:15

       Yeah. (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:17

       (laughs)
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   (laughs) …

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      You, you have to be the craziest psychopath of all time. You're lighting the woods on fire-

   2. TWTony Woods15:05

      (laughs)

   3. JRJoe Rogan15:06

      ... to get rid of some chemicals.

   4. TWTony Woods15:08

      I'm think, I'm thinking maybe it wasn't their woods that they set on fire.

   5. JRJoe Rogan15:12

      Somebody else's woods.

   6. TWTony Woods15:13

      Someon- no. Someone else from somewhere else.

   7. JRJoe Rogan15:16

      Someone set someone-

   8. TWTony Woods15:17

      Some... Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan15:17

      Yeah, maybe.

   10. TWTony Woods15:18

       We'll get those motherfuckers. Yeah. (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan15:19

       Right. But why the chemicals? That's the question. Like, if it is the chemicals, what kind of, uh, conspiracy is that? Go to 4Chan.

   12. GUGuest15:28

       (laughs)

   13. JRJoe Rogan15:29

       They know.

   14. TWTony Woods15:29

       Wasn't, wasn't it near where the balloon was?

   15. GUGuest15:31

       I think, yeah.

   16. TWTony Woods15:31

       Remember the balloon?

   17. JRJoe Rogan15:32

       The balloon was like-

   18. TWTony Woods15:33

       It w- it was right in that area.

   19. JRJoe Rogan15:35

       Where was the balloon flying over?

   20. GUGuest15:36

       There was a few places.

   21. TWTony Woods15:37

       Yeah.

   22. GUGuest15:37

       There's nor-... It started in the northwest and started making it across the country I think, right?

   23. JRJoe Rogan15:41

       They said they had a bunch of those while, while Trump was in office and they didn't tell him about it-

   24. GUGuest15:45

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan15:46

       ... 'cause they were worried he was gonna shoot them down. (laughs)

   26. TWTony Woods15:47

       (laughs)

   27. GUGuest15:47

       Well, they also showed that laser, that footage of that laser shooting down on like the Hawaiian coastline.

   28. JRJoe Rogan15:51

       Yeah, what was that?

   29. GUGuest15:52

       That makes me think of the fires, just like if whatever that is-

   30. JRJoe Rogan15:54

       Oh, God.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Yeah. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      So are there lions like that right now that are there? See if you can find like male lions out there with no manes. Wow.

   2. TWTony Woods30:08

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan30:09

      That's interesting.

   4. TWTony Woods30:10

      Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:10

      I didn't know that existed.

   6. TWTony Woods30:12

      Why, have you guys been watching, uh, Chimp Empire?

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:15

      Yes.

   8. TWTony Woods30:15

      Man, that is the-

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:16

      I have the guy in it who directed it.

   10. TWTony Woods30:17

       Yeah, that is, well, how did it, how many years did that take?

   11. JRJoe Rogan30:20

       Oh, look at them. Oh, well here's the deal. They had set up, uh, scientists had set up research there 30 years ago.

   12. TWTony Woods30:27

       Wow.

   13. JRJoe Rogan30:28

       So they had been continually studying these chimps, and they had like very specific rules of engagement. You can't ever eat in front of them. You can't be closer than 20 feet.... or was it 20 yards? 20 yards. You keep them closer-

   14. TWTony Woods30:39

       Well, they were actually-

   15. JRJoe Rogan30:39

       ... than 20 yards.

   16. TWTony Woods30:40

       They were cam-

   17. JRJoe Rogan30:40

       They were right there with them. So they're right there with these chimps-

   18. TWTony Woods30:44

       Oh.

   19. JRJoe Rogan30:44

       ... man. And so they're, like, filming everything and the chimps get accustomed to the people being there because the people never interact with the chimps.

   20. TWTony Woods30:52

       Yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan30:52

       And if the chimps walk towards the people, the people just back away. And, again, you can never eat in front of them.

   22. TWTony Woods30:58

       No.

   23. JRJoe Rogan30:58

       Ever.

   24. TWTony Woods30:59

       I tell you-

   25. JRJoe Rogan31:00

       'Cause they just steal your food and fuck you up.

   26. TWTony Woods31:01

       What blew me away was when they ate monkeys.

   27. JRJoe Rogan31:04

       Oh, yeah.

   28. TWTony Woods31:04

       I was like, "Dude, that's... Okay." (laughs)

   29. JRJoe Rogan31:06

       They eat a lot of monkeys.

   30. TWTony Woods31:07

       (laughs) It was like... Yeah. Yeah.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Yeah. …

   1. GUGuest45:00

      yeah.

   2. TWTony Woods45:00

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      I never watched that show. I heard it's really good.

   4. TWTony Woods45:02

      Yeah. When, when you hear his voice, you gonna go, "Oh, shit." See, look at Johnny.

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:05

      Oh, look at that.

   6. TWTony Woods45:08

      (laughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:08

      They were funny together, man.

   8. TWTony Woods45:09

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:09

      Red Johnny, the round guy, was... It was a funny combination too.

   10. TWTony Woods45:12

       Yeah. "If I knew it was gonna be this type of party."

   11. JRJoe Rogan45:14

       (groans)

   12. TWTony Woods45:15

       Remember they used to say that?

   13. JRJoe Rogan45:15

       Yeah. It's funny when you, uh, know guys as long as we have.

   14. TWTony Woods45:21

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan45:22

       You know?

   16. TWTony Woods45:23

       Yeah, look at them.

   17. JRJoe Rogan45:24

       Look at them. Kids. I mean, Tony, I've known you for, like, 30 years.

   18. TWTony Woods45:29

       Yeah, but I was-

   19. JRJoe Rogan45:29

       Isn't that wild?

   20. TWTony Woods45:30

       Uh, what was... When I first came to New York, what was it? Uh, '91. I just... '91, I had just come... I just-

   21. JRJoe Rogan45:37

       Yeah.

   22. TWTony Woods45:37

       ... got released from the military. And I... And that one week I did Caroline's Comedy Hour and Def Jam.

   23. JRJoe Rogan45:43

       Wow.

   24. TWTony Woods45:44

       And I was like, "Boy, this Caroline's is gonna work out for me." (laughs)

   25. JRJoe Rogan45:47

       (laughs)

   26. TWTony Woods45:48

       I had no idea Def Jam was gonna blow like that, man.

   27. JRJoe Rogan45:52

       Yeah.

   28. TWTony Woods45:53

       Uh, so... And I... Well, yeah, speaking of animals, I had done something on Showtime. It's called the Leslie Nielsen National Lampoon Comedy Playoffs. Right? And it was... They pick a comedian from all over the country, go out to Vegas. We stayed in the Sahara Hotel. Because my last name is Woods, I had a suite. So, the, the other guys had a regular room, but I had... I had a suite. And, um... But on that show I tell a joke about Bigfoot. And I never saw Bigfoot, but I was... We would tr- We were on training. You do these training where you go make maps and all this shit. And we heard him.

   29. JRJoe Rogan46:30

       You heard Bigfoot?

   30. TWTony Woods46:31

       Heard Bigfoot. I heard him.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:09:28

   Whoa. …

   1. GUGuest1:00:00

      but you're gonna have to figure out how to balance again 'cause it makes up a point of balance for you.

   2. TWTony Woods1:00:04

      Whoa.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:06

      Wow.

   4. TWTony Woods1:00:06

      Remember the Pope of Greenwich Village?

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:09

      Yeah, I do.

   6. TWTony Woods1:00:09

      He said, "May- (laughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:10

      "I cut my thumbs off, Charlie."

   8. TWTony Woods1:00:13

      ... fuck you!" (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:13

      "Charlie."

   10. TWTony Woods1:00:15

       (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:00:15

       "They cut my thumbs, Charlie."

   12. TWTony Woods1:00:19

       (laughs) That was-

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:00:21

       Yeah.

   14. TWTony Woods1:00:22

       ... good acting right there.

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:00:23

       Oh, my God, that movie was amazing.

   16. TWTony Woods1:00:24

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:00:25

       Yeah. Jon Jones fucked his, his, uh, big toe up in a fight with Chael Sonnen. He beat the shit outta Chael Sonnen, and then got up and was doing the post-fight interview and looked down and saw that his toe was, like, flipped upside down.

   18. TWTony Woods1:00:39

       Oh.

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:00:39

       His big toe was. And-

   20. TWTony Woods1:00:41

       Well, did he faint?

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:00:42

       No, no, he... we got him, we sat him down. He's like, "Oh, boy." And I continued to interview him.

   22. TWTony Woods1:00:47

       Wait, hold up, like, like this.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:00:48

       His toe had flipped around.

   24. TWTony Woods1:00:49

       This?

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:00:50

       His toe had flipped around because that's how much pressure he was putting into trying to beat-

   26. TWTony Woods1:00:57

       Motherfucker.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:00:57

       ... Chael Sonnen up. Like, uh, yeah, his toe was fucked up.

   28. TWTony Woods1:01:01

       Ah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:01:04

       So we got him to sit down.

   30. TWTony Woods1:01:04

       You can see, ooh, ooh, mama.

Episode duration: 2:43:41