Joe Rogan Experience #2030 - Protect Our Parks 9

Shane is the co-host of "Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast" with Matt McCusker and one half of the sketch comedy duo "Gilly and Keeves" with John McKeever. Watch his new stand-up special "Beautiful Dogs" September 5 on Netflix. www.shanemgillis.comMark is the co-host of the podcasts "Tuesdays with Stories" with Joe List and "We Might Be Drunk" with Sam Morril. Watch his latest stand-up special "Soup to Nuts" on Netflix.www.marknormandcomedy.comAri is the host of "The Skeptic Tank" and "You Be Trippin'" podcasts. His latest special, "Ari Shaffir: Jew," is available now via YouTube.www.arishaffir.com

Joe RoganhostMark NormandguestShane GillisguestAri ShaffirguestJamie Vernonguest

Jun 27, 20245h 4mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

150 min read · 30,014 words

0:00 – 15:00
(drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast,…
1. JRJoe Rogan
  (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
2. NANarrator
  The Joe Rogan Experience. (energetic music) Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
3. MNMark Normand
  It starts.
4. SGShane Gillis
  (laughs) Goddammit.
5. MNMark Normand
  The pun gun.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  C'mon boys, let's go. Oh, sunglasses.
7. SGShane Gillis
  Uh, not yet.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  They're options.
9. SGShane Gillis
  I'm ready.
10. MNMark Normand
  I need 'em.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  D- Norman doesn't fuck around.
12. MNMark Normand
  Uh, my-
13. JRJoe Rogan
  He gets here, he's got them ready to go.
14. MNMark Normand
  The lights hurt my eyes.
15. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, you had a rough one last night, huh?
16. MNMark Normand
  Ah, this city brings out the evil in me.
17. SGShane Gillis
  It's a party town.
18. MNMark Normand
  It really is.
19. SGShane Gillis
  It's uh, it's always been a party town. It's great.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  It is, it's a fun town. You guys went to see Nether Hour too, right?
21. ASAri Shaffir
  Yeah, that was fun.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  Those guys are cool.
23. ASAri Shaffir
  Yeah.
24. SGShane Gillis
  They were, they were really good. I'd only seen them after the Vulcan shows, but this was like the first time I saw them, like their own show, and they were like-
25. JRJoe Rogan
  They're fucking-
26. SGShane Gillis
  Oh, you're crushing it. They're fucking talented.
27. MNMark Normand
  And Uncle Lazer.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
29. ASAri Shaffir
  Uncle Lazer got on and fucking played the harmonica.
30. MNMark Normand
  What?
15:00 – 30:00
(laughs) …
1. JRJoe Rogan
2. MNMark Normand
  (laughs)
3. JRJoe Rogan
  "Because some people are gonna get cancer because they're not wearing sunscreen."
4. JVJamie Vernon
  Yeah.
5. MNMark Normand
  Hm.
6. JVJamie Vernon
  I know.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  And, okay, well, now everybody has to eat sunscreen apples?
8. MNMark Normand
  Right. (laughs)
9. JRJoe Rogan
  Is that the new rule? Like, that, that's what the fuck this is like. This is like forcing everybody to eat sunscreen apples. Like, "Hey, bitch, I brush my fucking teeth."
10. JVJamie Vernon
  Yeah.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  Like, (laughs) "Don't make me drink this stuff. What's in there?"
12. MNMark Normand
  Well, we got rid of lead paint.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  And when you use-
14. JVJamie Vernon
  True.
15. JRJoe Rogan
  ... one of them filters, does that get all the fluoride out? I- how much-
16. JVJamie Vernon
  I, I doubt it. It gets a lot of shit out. You ever put Hi-C in there, to see if it's still kinda pink?
17. MNMark Normand
  Really?
18. JVJamie Vernon
  Yeah, when it goes through. It's not, like, clear.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  That's not, that's not good.
20. MNMark Normand
  You're a high C.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
22. JVJamie Vernon
  I'm a high, I'm a high K.
23. MNMark Normand
  High K. (laughs)
24. JRJoe Rogan
  With that beard, he's a fucking B+. In the mountains.
25. MNMark Normand
  I know. Look at this guy.
26. JVJamie Vernon
  In the mountains, you're a man who knows how to start a fire. Moses. Yeah, right. You'd be like, "I'm trusting you with fire." I'm like, "You shouldn't."
27. MNMark Normand
  (laughs)
28. JRJoe Rogan
  You look like a guy who knows where the fucking woodchucks are.
29. JVJamie Vernon
  Oh, these ponds are safe to drink from. There are no beavers here.
30. MNMark Normand
  (laughs)
30:00 – 45:00
It's not cool at…
1. JRJoe Rogan
  I mean, I don't, I don't think... If you have the regular cold, like, that's not even cool.
2. ASAri Shaffir
  It's not cool at all.
3. MNMark Normand
  No, that's not-
4. ASAri Shaffir
  It's not cool at all.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, if you had COVID for one day, that's way better than the regular cold for, like, a week and a half.
6. ASAri Shaffir
  It's like these rich chicks-
7. JRJoe Rogan
  COVIDs suck.
8. ASAri Shaffir
  Rich chicks who can't just get a headache, they have to, they have to have a migraine.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
10. MNMark Normand
  (laughs)
11. ASAri Shaffir
  Oh, yes, they always have fucking migraines.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Ah!
13. ASAri Shaffir
  Always migraine.
14. MNMark Normand
  Ah!
15. JRJoe Rogan
  Bro, I've never had one.
16. ASAri Shaffir
  They can't be saved.
17. MNMark Normand
  Debilitating.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, that's what I was gonna say.
19. ASAri Shaffir
  Yeah.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  I think they're debilitating. I think, like, you're on your knees.
21. ASAri Shaffir
  Yeah.
22. MNMark Normand
  Really?
23. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
24. ASAri Shaffir
  Yeah.
25. JRJoe Rogan
  That's a good one.
26. MNMark Normand
  I'm sure the severity is, you know, different with different people.
27. ASAri Shaffir
  I think Terrell Davis sat out of the Super Bowl for a little while with a migraine.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
29. ASAri Shaffir
  Like, it's that bad.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  Can't take over-
45:00 – 1:00:00
Yeah. There's a great…
1. SGShane Gillis
  the same as heroin, but like, yeah, but not exactly like it. And that show was like, "No, no, no, it is. Just slow release." It's heroin.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah. There's a great scene they show that one doctor yells at the girl, like- like-
3. SGShane Gillis
  Yeah, it's nice.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  ... when she's trying to sell it to him.
5. SGShane Gillis
  You have no idea what you're gonna sell her.
6. ASAri Shaffir
  Oh, you're a drug dealer with a ponytail.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
8. SGShane Gillis
  Yeah.
9. ASAri Shaffir
  "Yeah, my two friends in high school died of methadone. It's no joke."
10. SGShane Gillis
  Wow.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah. We used to, uh, play pool with the methadonians-
12. SGShane Gillis
  Wow.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  ... when I used to go to this, uh-
14. SGShane Gillis
  Sounds like the world's coldest religion.
15. JRJoe Rogan
  This pool, this pool hall that I used to play at in White- I tried, Alexander the Great. ... was right next to these people that were on methadone.
16. SGShane Gillis
  (laughs)
17. JRJoe Rogan
  So these methadone dudes would come in and my friend Johnny used to call them the methadonians.
18. SGShane Gillis
  (laughs)
19. JRJoe Rogan
  They would come in and just be playing pool like this.
20. ASAri Shaffir
  That's good. (laughs)
21. JRJoe Rogan
  It felt nice.
22. SGShane Gillis
  Couldn't phase him.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, they're fucking sweet people.
24. SGShane Gillis
  Couldn't phase him, no.
25. JRJoe Rogan
  No.
26. SGShane Gillis
  They'd take a nap.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  They were all terrible. They were all terrible. He's just leaning on the table for 20 minutes. (laughs)
28. SGShane Gillis
  The guys that did heroin. Those guys were good at pool.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  It's your shot.
30. SGShane Gillis
  The heroin guys were good.
1:00:00 – 1:01:29
Mm... Twisting around. …
1. MNMark Normand
  Don't you love ball play?
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Mm... Twisting around.
3. MNMark Normand
  Yeah.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  You know, I wouldn't mind.
5. MNMark Normand
  Oh, really?
6. JRJoe Rogan
  What's up with those guys who like getting their nuts stomped?
7. SGShane Gillis
  Stomped in a high heel shoe.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  That's weird.
9. MNMark Normand
  Those videos are so wild.
10. ASAri Shaffir
  Jamie. (laughs)
11. SGShane Gillis
  They go in weird directions, like stepping on a half deflated balloon that just-
12. ASAri Shaffir
  Yeah.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh.
14. SGShane Gillis
  ... kinda comes up. Ugh, so scary.
15. MNMark Normand
  Yuck.
16. ASAri Shaffir
  Jamie, can you play that? Can you find guys who get turned...
17. MNMark Normand
  No.
18. SGShane Gillis
  It's a podcast.
19. ASAri Shaffir
  It's so funny.
20. MNMark Normand
  I don't wanna see that.
21. SGShane Gillis
  It's your mom's house.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  It's-
23. SGShane Gillis
  Not all the girls are turned on by it.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  It's not like these girls with the shoes are like trained experts in how hard not to stomp your nuts.
25. SGShane Gillis
  Good point.
26. MNMark Normand
  Right. You gotta get a brain stomper.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  You guys lose nuts that way.
28. ASAri Shaffir
  No.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  I, I know of two guys who lost their balls-
30. MNMark Normand
  What?

Episode duration: 5:04:58

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(drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast,…

(laughs) …

It's not cool at…

Yeah. There's a great…

Mm... Twisting around. …

Get more out of YouTube videos.