Joe Rogan Experience #2030 - Protect Our Parks 9

Shane is the co-host of "Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast" with Matt McCusker and one half of the sketch comedy duo "Gilly and Keeves" with John McKeever. Watch his new stand-up special "Beautiful Dogs" September 5 on Netflix. www.shanemgillis.comMark is the co-host of the podcasts "Tuesdays with Stories" with Joe List and "We Might Be Drunk" with Sam Morril. Watch his latest stand-up special "Soup to Nuts" on Netflix.www.marknormandcomedy.comAri is the host of "The Skeptic Tank" and "You Be Trippin'" podcasts. His latest special, "Ari Shaffir: Jew," is available now via YouTube.www.arishaffir.com

Joe RoganhostMark NormandguestShane GillisguestAri ShaffirguestJamie Vernonguest

Jun 27, 20245h 4mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

150 min read · 30,014 words

0:00 – 1:36
Cold open: hangovers, sunglasses, and Austin chaos
1. JRJoe Rogan
  (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
2. NANarrator
  The Joe Rogan Experience. (energetic music) Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
3. MNMark Normand
  It starts.
4. SGShane Gillis
  (laughs) Goddammit.
5. MNMark Normand
  The pun gun.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  C'mon boys, let's go. Oh, sunglasses.
7. SGShane Gillis
  Uh, not yet.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  They're options.
9. SGShane Gillis
  I'm ready.
10. MNMark Normand
  I need 'em.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  D- Norman doesn't fuck around.
12. MNMark Normand
  Uh, my-
13. JRJoe Rogan
  He gets here, he's got them ready to go.
14. MNMark Normand
  The lights hurt my eyes.
15. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, you had a rough one last night, huh?
16. MNMark Normand
  Ah, this city brings out the evil in me.
17. SGShane Gillis
  It's a party town.
18. MNMark Normand
  It really is.
19. SGShane Gillis
  It's uh, it's always been a party town. It's great.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  It is, it's a fun town. You guys went to see Nether Hour too, right?
21. ASAri Shaffir
  Yeah, that was fun.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  Those guys are cool.
23. ASAri Shaffir
  Yeah.
24. SGShane Gillis
  They were, they were really good. I'd only seen them after the Vulcan shows, but this was like the first time I saw them, like their own show, and they were like-
25. JRJoe Rogan
  They're fucking-
26. SGShane Gillis
  Oh, you're crushing it. They're fucking talented.
27. MNMark Normand
  And Uncle Lazer.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
29. ASAri Shaffir
  Uncle Lazer got on and fucking played the harmonica.
30. MNMark Normand
  What?
1:36 – 2:44
American Gladiators pay drama and the brutality of old TV competition
1. JRJoe Rogan
  Bro, did you guys hear the story about those American Gladiators? They got like no money.
2. SGShane Gillis
  Really?
3. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, they got like no money.
4. SGShane Gillis
  They were celebrities.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  I know. They got-
6. MNMark Normand
  (laughs)
7. JRJoe Rogan
  ... they got fucked.
8. MNMark Normand
  Thank you.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  They got royally fucked.
10. MNMark Normand
  The Holocaust is the ultimate, uh, obstacle course.
11. SGShane Gillis
  (laughs)
12. JRJoe Rogan
  I was reading something about Jamie d- Were you the one who told me about it, Jamie?
13. ASAri Shaffir
  Yeah, there's a documentary.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  Salut.
15. ASAri Shaffir
  There's two documentaries actually-
16. SGShane Gillis
  Salut.
17. ASAri Shaffir
  ... about it.
18. SGShane Gillis
  Salut. Cheers, boys.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  Gentlemen.
20. MNMark Normand
  Hey, praise Allah.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  So good, so good to see you guys.
22. MNMark Normand
  That's gotta be bad. What is this, number nine? Ten?
23. ASAri Shaffir
  Nine.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  Nine. Let's fucking go.
25. MNMark Normand
  Wow. Nine.
26. SGShane Gillis
  Nine, nine, nine, nine.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  Let's fucking go. Those American Gladiator ... Bro, that's like pro wrestling, that job.
28. ASAri Shaffir
  Yeah, what, what were the names?
29. MNMark Normand
  Oh, yeah.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  That's a hard ass job, that's like you're crashing into people and stuff, you're taking people down.
2:44 – 4:25
Ninja Warrior, Fear Factor lessons, and why women sometimes dominate grip strength
1. JRJoe Rogan
  I, I used to love that, uh, Ninja Warrior show. Watching people get wrecked was great.
2. MNMark Normand
  Oh, that show's great.
3. SGShane Gillis
  That was a fun show.
4. ASAri Shaffir
  Yeah.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  Bro, some people are really good at that. It's very entertaining. Like, to be really good at that, you gotta be a fucking athlete.
6. ASAri Shaffir
  Oh, yeah.
7. SGShane Gillis
  You know who the best was? Like, the 106 pound women.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, yeah.
9. SGShane Gillis
  Yeah, they could just hold themselves up forever.
10. MNMark Normand
  Oh, yeah.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  You know, we found that on Fear Factor. When we did like, uh, these guys had to hang from a pole over some water. And the men broke way before the women.
12. MNMark Normand
  Yeah, well they're lighter.
13. ASAri Shaffir
  Wow.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah. Makes sense.
15. SGShane Gillis
  Yeah, it makes sense.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  It's the only thing they're better at.
17. ASAri Shaffir
  Die.
18. MNMark Normand
  They say hanging is like really good for you, just to hang. I mean, not foreverski.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  I do that every day.
20. SGShane Gillis
  Tell that to Satan.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  Wah! I do that every day.
22. MNMark Normand
  Really?
23. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, yeah. I do that every day and then I also have this thing that I do where I hinge from my waist. It's called the dec-
24. SGShane Gillis
  Go upside down?
25. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, it's like ... It, but you don't go upside down from your ankles. The same company makes it but I, I prefer this one because all the weight is literally from your waist forward. You're not holding any weight in your legs, which I think makes you more tense and you might tense your back up. With this, you just lean forward. What's that, what is that thing called, Jamie? We talked about it a gang of times.
26. ASAri Shaffir
  The Dex 2.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  The Dex 2. We have one of those out here. That thing is the shit.
28. MNMark Normand
  Oh.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  That is the shit for your back, man. You can also do, like, back extension exercises on it. But just to hang there.
30. ASAri Shaffir
  Yep.
4:25 – 6:52
Iraqi jumping jacks and the mystery of disappearing basic fitness
1. ASAri Shaffir
  Jumping jacks is when I knew we were gonna lose the war in Iraq.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
3. SGShane Gillis
  (laughs)
4. ASAri Shaffir
  You ever see those videos of those guys teaching the Iraqi military? They're like, "All right, we're gonna do physical fitness."
5. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, like the terrorists?
6. ASAri Shaffir
  Try to ... Not the terrorists. The, like, Iraqi police.
7. MNMark Normand
  Oh.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
9. ASAri Shaffir
  And like the guys that were on our side. So we had our guys training them, and they would try to do jumping jacks and it was like...
10. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, let's watch some of that.
11. MNMark Normand
  Really? I didn't know that.
12. SGShane Gillis
  (laughing) You can't, you can't do jumping jacks.
13. ASAri Shaffir
  Wow.
14. MNMark Normand
  ISIS does the, uh, the bars.
15. SGShane Gillis
  ISIS monkey bars.
16. ASAri Shaffir
  Monkey bars.
17. MNMark Normand
  Yeah, monkey bars.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  Monkey bars.
19. ASAri Shaffir
  Yeah.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Hilarious.
21. ASAri Shaffir
  The sleep-away camp workout.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  Did you guys ever see those videos of like kids in the 1960s in high school doing physical fitness?
23. MNMark Normand
  Love kids.
24. ASAri Shaffir
  Dude, just jacked. Everybody's fucking-
25. JRJoe Rogan
  Everybody's like ripped and they're all doing chin-ups, they're all doing monkey bars, they're like swinging.
26. ASAri Shaffir
  Yeah.
27. MNMark Normand
  Yeah, they're ripped. They have 12-packs.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  What happened? What the fuck?
29. ASAri Shaffir
  Video games, GMOs.
30. SGShane Gillis
  You're chilling.
6:52 – 9:56
Microplastics, endocrine disruption, and ‘taint science’ (Shanna Swan’s Countdown)
1. JRJoe Rogan
  I think that the, like, the microplastic thing is real. If you look at, uh ... There's a woman who wrote this book called Countdown. Her name is Shanna Swan. She's a, a doctor from Harvard, right? I always ask.
2. MNMark Normand
  Yeah, taint lady, right?
3. JRJoe Rogan
  Taint lady.
4. MNMark Normand
  Yeah, taint lady.
5. She talked to taints on here.
6. Oh, yeah.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  When you exposure to phthalates-
8. MNMark Normand
  Tainted up.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  ... like it's a type of, um, pl- uh, it's, it's a chemical that's in plastics and some other things. It, they disrupt her endocrine system and it fucks up ... With mammals, it makes, with the males, it makes their taint smaller.
10. MNMark Normand
  Hm.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  It makes their dick smaller. It makes their balls smaller.
12. MNMark Normand
  It makes your butt a little closer to your nuts.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  It makes their sperm count go down.
14. MNMark Normand
  Huh.
15. Interesting.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  And they, they find them in human beings. Like, these are studies they've done in mammals. So they did studies ... One of the best ways to, to determine male or female in, in young mammals is the male's taint is 50% to 100% larger. So they look at that to see if it's a boy or girl.
17. MNMark Normand
  Hm.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  And when you expose the animal to phthalates, that shrinks. And it sort of feminizes the, the boys.
19. MNMark Normand
  Oh.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  They have less testosterone. Their penises shrink, their taints shrink.
21. MNMark Normand
  Son of a bitch.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  And there's this similar effect in human beings.
23. MNMark Normand
  Mm.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  And she believes that that's the driving force, and she thinks that we've been exposed since people have been using microwaves and everything's in plastic and water bottles in your car.
25. MNMark Normand
  Water bottles in your car, yeah.
26. Car, yeah.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  All, all these different chemicals, and then there's fertilizers and pesticides and herbicides and all that shit-
28. MNMark Normand
  Fish that eat the plastic.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  All that shit's getting into your body, and ...
30. MNMark Normand
  It sucks to, it sucks to be the guy that was dating her.
9:56 – 11:15
Bottled water vs tap water paranoia: pipes, hotels, and what’s in the system
1. MNMark Normand
  Yeah, you know what's weird? When you check into a hotel and you see a family and they bring in, like, a 20 case of-
2. Beer bud.
3. ... of bottled water.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
5. MNMark Normand
  And you're like, "What are you doing? You're gonna be here two nights. You need all that bottled water?"
6. Yeah, it works.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  See, you just buy a bottle of water. Where the fuck did it come from? Was it on a boat in Thailand for a month-
8. MNMark Normand
  In the sun.
9. Mm.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  ... drifting across the ocean?
11. MNMark Normand
  Right.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Where did your water come from? Do ... I don't even ask.
13. MNMark Normand
  Mm-mm.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  I just drink it. So what if I'm drinking some bullshit fucking chemicals that's gonna make my taint shrink?
15. MNMark Normand
  I'm a tap man.
16. I like tap.
17. I love tap.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  It's really not good for you.
19. MNMark Normand
  What? Tap?
20. I feel like that's a risk.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, tap water's not good for you.
22. MNMark Normand
  Everybody in New York loves saying New York has the best tap water.
23. Yeah.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  That's so ridiculous.
25. MNMark Normand
  But there's just like zero chance of that shit.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  That's saying my shit smells the sweetest.
27. MNMark Normand
  Yeah.
28. Well, that's true.
29. It's New York, it's like, it's like they said the water's good but the taps are all shitty, so you're drinking, like, the rust.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  Bro, who's cleaning those pipes?
11:15 – 17:36
Fluoride in drinking water: dental benefits vs IQ trade-offs and ‘Big Fluoride’ jokes
1. JRJoe Rogan
  There's some real disputes about fluoride in water too.
2. MNMark Normand
  Yeah.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  To be honest, I'm, I'm not super well versed in it.
4. MNMark Normand
  It's good for the teeth.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
6. MNMark Normand
  Good for the teeth, they say.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  A- apparently, sorta. But what's really good for the teeth is brushing your fucking teeth.
8. MNMark Normand
  Hm.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  It's like, are we sure that you're supposed to be dumping fluoride in the water that people drink?
10. MNMark Normand
  It is a bit of an assumption.
11. Everyone has toothpaste now.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Do you know that fluoride lowers your IQ?
13. MNMark Normand
  No!
14. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, it does, definitely.
15. MNMark Normand
  Shit.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  Exposure to fluoride lowers your IQ.
17. MNMark Normand
  Fuck. Oh, come on.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  I mean, I don't know what the number is. What, what, what exposure to ... How much exposure to fluoride lowers your IQ?
19. MNMark Normand
  I've been drinking it for 39 years.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Straight. Imagine if-
21. MNMark Normand
  That's why he says shit like pop quizzes. (laughs)
22. Imagine how fucking smart you'd be. (laughs)
23. You'd be so much less autistic.
24. Pop quiz.
25. JRJoe Rogan
  You were robbed. You were robbed.
26. MNMark Normand
  (laughs)
27. JRJoe Rogan
  ... pop jizz.
28. MNMark Normand
  I thought everybody heard that.
29. JVJamie Vernon
  Here, it doesn't say how much, but it's just-
30. JRJoe Rogan
  It says, "A significant inverse relationship was found between the fluoride concentration in drinking water and IQ. It was observed that the IQ level was negatively correlated with fluoride concentration in drinking water."
17:36 – 22:20
Why everything becomes political: journalism, internet conflict, and Tucker’s Twitter pull
1. JRJoe Rogan
  Everything.
2. JVJamie Vernon
  They're getting, they're getting me, dude. It's starting to work.
3. MNMark Normand
  Yeah.
4. JVJamie Vernon
  Tucker, Tucker going to Twitter is killing me, dude.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  Why?
6. MNMark Normand
  He's coming up.
7. JVJamie Vernon
  I've been watching the shit out of those videos. I've been like, "Yo, Tucker's right about everything, dude."
8. MNMark Normand
  He had Portnoy on.
9. JVJamie Vernon
  Every single one of those I watch, I'm like, "Goddamn."
10. MNMark Normand
  Yeah.
11. JVJamie Vernon
  Tucker knows.
12. MNMark Normand
  Now he's calling Obama gay a lot.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  Bro, that is wild.
14. JVJamie Vernon
  Really?
15. MNMark Normand
  Yeah, he's throwing that around. (laughs)
16. JVJamie Vernon
  Obama?
17. JRJoe Rogan
  That is wild.
18. JVJamie Vernon
  You ever go down that Michelle Obama's a man rabbit hole?
19. MNMark Normand
  Oh.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, but it's all photoshopped.
21. JVJamie Vernon
  (laughs) Yeah.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  Eddie Bravo sent me one, and then I sent him the, uh, well, the original.
23. JVJamie Vernon
  Oh, really? That's fun.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, no, I didn't send him the... I need to send him the original.
25. JVJamie Vernon
  Her on Ellen was, like, a funny one.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  'Cause-
27. MNMark Normand
  Great arms.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  ... there's all these, there's all these pictures that e- exist that are definitely doctored.
29. MNMark Normand
  Pull them up. (laughs)
30. JVJamie Vernon
  No.
22:20 – 27:02
Conspiracies as entertainment: ‘Big Mike,’ cab-driver rabbit holes, and free speech nostalgia
1. JRJoe Rogan
  I think all these fucking Looney Tunes conspiracies are fun.
2. ASAri Shaffir
  They're so fun.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  And that's- that's what drove me crazy about the old Twitter. It's like, I- I'm smart enough to know the Earth isn't flat, stupid.
4. SGShane Gillis
  Yeah.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  Let these people talk about it.
6. ASAri Shaffir
  Mm-hmm.
7. SGShane Gillis
  Yeah.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Let these fucking people talk about it.
9. SGShane Gillis
  It's fine.
10. ASAri Shaffir
  It's fun to listen.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  I don't mind listening. I like when they get angry and call, uh, uh, people globe heads. (laughs)
12. SGShane Gillis
  So, yeah, yeah, yeah.
13. ASAri Shaffir
  (laughs)
14. JRJoe Rogan
  I wanna fucking hear it.
15. SGShane Gillis
  That rules.
16. ASAri Shaffir
  (laughs)
17. JRJoe Rogan
  Let 'em talk, man.
18. SGShane Gillis
  So dude, this cab driver went from Michelle Obama's a man to Nancy Pelosi's a man to-
19. ASAri Shaffir
  Oh.
20. SGShane Gillis
  ... Madonna is a man.
21. ASAri Shaffir
  Oh.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  Whoa.
23. SGShane Gillis
  And he goes, "Look it up, alternativenews.com."
24. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
25. ASAri Shaffir
  (laughs) What about Lea Thomas? They wouldn't say that.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, you can't say that.
27. SGShane Gillis
  Yeah, and I go, "What do they have to stand to gain by being a man and hiding it?" And he goes, "What?"
28. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, first of all-
29. SGShane Gillis
  Sports?
30. JRJoe Rogan
  ... in today's day and age, if they say they're a woman, they're a woman, so they're all women, so shut the fuck up, bigot. Secondly-
27:02 – 29:43
Creepy baby scenarios and the real ‘bait baby’ story in Thailand
1. JRJoe Rogan
  The only time when a baby is scary is when it's at nighttime in the woods.
2. ASAri Shaffir
  Or when it's yours.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  You see a baby just standing there, staring at you.
4. ASAri Shaffir
  (laughs) Like, what are you talking about?
5. MNMark Normand
  Oh.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, that's the scariest thing possible.
7. ASAri Shaffir
  What are you doing here?
8. JRJoe Rogan
  A n- a naked baby just in, in the trail, just standing there, staring at you.
9. ASAri Shaffir
  Yeah.
10. MNMark Normand
  That's terrifying.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  You'd be like, "What the fuck is going on?" You'd be like, first of all, "Is this a trap?" Are they like, do I go towards the baby-
12. ASAri Shaffir
  Yeah.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  ... and then they rush me? Or is this baby a demon?
14. MNMark Normand
  Ew.
15. JRJoe Rogan
  Like, is this a fake baby?
16. ASAri Shaffir
  It's a demon.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  Like, why, why is this baby naked in the woods at night?
18. MNMark Normand
  Alone.
19. ASAri Shaffir
  Dude, we found a baby in northern Thailand.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  And it's really dark.
21. ASAri Shaffir
  We were mopedding around, we saw a baby on the road. Yeah.
22. MNMark Normand
  On the road?
23. ASAri Shaffir
  We were like, "What the fuck?" There was a house, like, 200 yards up, we're like, "Is this your baby?" And she's like, "Oh, my God, thank you so much. Do you guys have cigarettes?"
24. MNMark Normand
  Uh.
25. ASAri Shaffir
  It was a fucking bait baby.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, nice.
27. MNMark Normand
  Damn.
28. ASAri Shaffir
  Yeah.
29. MNMark Normand
  A baitby.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  (burps) A bait baby.
29:43 – 34:49
COVID’s ‘comeback,’ migraines, and how caffeine withdrawal wrecks you
1. JRJoe Rogan
  Any of you guys get the newest COVID yet?
2. MNMark Normand
  It's back, baby.
3. ASAri Shaffir
  I think I might have it right now.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
5. ASAri Shaffir
  Shane's got it currently.
6. MNMark Normand
  (laughs)
7. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
8. ASAri Shaffir
  (laughs)
9. MNMark Normand
  You feeling shit?
10. ASAri Shaffir
  No, I just have had a cold for a few days.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, you've had it. You got it, you son of a bitch.
12. MNMark Normand
  I don't... Three people who got it.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  There's no more regular colds anymore. I, I, I always just go, "Ah, it's Co- it's COVID."
14. ASAri Shaffir
  It's just COVDID, they just call it that.
15. MNMark Normand
  Yeah.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  That's what I always say. I mean, I don't, I don't think... If you have the regular cold, like, that's not even cool.
17. ASAri Shaffir
  It's not cool at all.
18. MNMark Normand
  No, that's not-
19. ASAri Shaffir
  It's not cool at all.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, if you had COVID for one day, that's way better than the regular cold for, like, a week and a half.
21. ASAri Shaffir
  It's like these rich chicks-
22. JRJoe Rogan
  COVIDs suck.
23. ASAri Shaffir
  Rich chicks who can't just get a headache, they have to, they have to have a migraine.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
25. MNMark Normand
  (laughs)
26. ASAri Shaffir
  Oh, yes, they always have fucking migraines.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  Ah!
28. ASAri Shaffir
  Always migraine.
29. MNMark Normand
  Ah!
30. JRJoe Rogan
  Bro, I've never had one.
34:49 – 37:45
Coffee addiction and coffee-nerd tech: Clover machines, baristas, and overpriced perfection
1. JRJoe Rogan
  You can get really good coffee at Starbucks if they have one of those weird machines. You know that fucking ... that crazy machine that's being invented?
2. SGShane Gillis
  AeroPress?
3. JRJoe Rogan
  What's on an AeroPress? It's like, it's digital, so you pour in the exact grams-
4. SGShane Gillis
  Oh, yeah.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  ... of coffee and they ... it heats the exact temperature, it brews it for the exact same amount of time, and then, like, a piston goes up and down.
6. SGShane Gillis
  They just overcook-
7. JRJoe Rogan
  And they push the hockey puck out and the coffee's perfect.
8. SGShane Gillis
  They just overcook their beans, I don't like it.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, but this one, they don't.
10. SGShane Gillis
  Oh.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  With, with this, they don't. It's, it's just they leave it hot for too long.
12. SGShane Gillis
  Yeah.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  Like, coffee's not s- ... you know. If you do it right, like, if you really know what you're doing, like my friend Evan who owns Black Rifle Coffee, like, they, they ha- ... they measure their coffee.
14. SGShane Gillis
  Yeah.
15. JRJoe Rogan
  They measure the temperature of the water and-
16. MNMark Normand
  It's a, it's a-
17. JRJoe Rogan
  ... that's the thing.
18. MNMark Normand
  It's called a Clover machine.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  That's right.
20. MNMark Normand
  Whoa, I'd like to eat that.
21. SGShane Gillis
  Whoa.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  So this machine, you p- ... well, you pour the grinds-
23. SGShane Gillis
  Whoa.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  ... in there and it literally makes a perfect cup of coffee.
25. SGShane Gillis
  Wow.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  I think it's insanely expensive.
27. MNMark Normand
  It's a lot of c- ... Well, it was at least $11,000.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  11,000?
29. MNMark Normand
  Yeah, it's-
30. SGShane Gillis
  Too much for a cup of coffee. (laughs)
37:45 – 1:00:05
Oat milk sugar, rapeseed naming, and the pharma pipeline: Ozempic, Adderall, Oxy, and consequences
1. SGShane Gillis
  Somebody was comparing, there was like some chart where they were comparing one of those Oatly, one of those oat milk things.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
3. SGShane Gillis
  I don't know which one, but they said they have the same glycemic index as Coca-Cola. What does that mean? What's glycemic index?
4. MNMark Normand
  Is that real?
5. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, that's sugar.
6. SGShane Gillis
  Sugar and shit. No, that's a lot of sugar to say.
7. MNMark Normand
  I heard almond milk is all sugar too.
8. SGShane Gillis
  There's a lot. (laughs) Like Dunkin', Dunkin' told me, "This stuff is delicious and it's good for you."
9. MNMark Normand
  Yeah.
10. SGShane Gillis
  I go, "How many grams of sugar are in that thing?"
11. MNMark Normand
  Like Dunkin' Donuts.
12. SGShane Gillis
  He texts me back, "Fuck!"
13. MNMark Normand
  (laughs)
14. SGShane Gillis
  That's why it tastes good, dude. You're drinking syrup.
15. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, what's wrong with milk?
16. SGShane Gillis
  Milk is good.
17. MNMark Normand
  I love half and half.
18. SGShane Gillis
  It's bad for you.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  No, milk's not bad for you.
20. SGShane Gillis
  Is that only stuff... Oh. Dairy. Milk should add up-
21. JRJoe Rogan
  My life's been shit since I stopped drinking milk, dude. Okay, look at that.
22. MNMark Normand
  Holy shit.
23. SGShane Gillis
  Wow.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  Look at the glycemic load.
25. SGShane Gillis
  Well, that's if you drink 12 oz., no one's drinking 12 ounces of, of Oatly.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  You don't drink a glass of it?
27. SGShane Gillis
  You do a splash in your coffee.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  What?
29. MNMark Normand
  Glycemic load sounds nasty.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, why can't... No, don't you think people drink it?
1:00:05 – 1:08:11
Ball trauma and the Wild West of early fighting: cups, nut shots, and hair-pulling rules
1. JRJoe Rogan
  What's up with those guys who like getting their nuts stomped?
2. SGShane Gillis
  Stomped in a high heel shoe.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  That's weird.
4. MNMark Normand
  Those videos are so wild.
5. ASAri Shaffir
  Jamie. (laughs)
6. SGShane Gillis
  They go in weird directions, like stepping on a half deflated balloon that just-
7. ASAri Shaffir
  Yeah.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh.
9. SGShane Gillis
  ... kinda comes up. Ugh, so scary.
10. MNMark Normand
  Yuck.
11. ASAri Shaffir
  Jamie, can you play that? Can you find guys who get turned...
12. MNMark Normand
  No.
13. SGShane Gillis
  It's a podcast.
14. ASAri Shaffir
  It's so funny.
15. MNMark Normand
  I don't wanna see that.
16. SGShane Gillis
  It's your mom's house.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  It's-
18. SGShane Gillis
  Not all the girls are turned on by it.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  It's not like these girls with the shoes are like trained experts in how hard not to stomp your nuts.
20. SGShane Gillis
  Good point.
21. MNMark Normand
  Right. You gotta get a brain stomper.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  You guys lose nuts that way.
23. ASAri Shaffir
  No.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  I, I know of two guys who lost their balls-
25. MNMark Normand
  What?
26. ASAri Shaffir
  What?
27. JRJoe Rogan
  ... in kickboxing.
28. ASAri Shaffir
  Oh.
29. MNMark Normand
  What?
30. JRJoe Rogan
  Stomped by ladies. (laughs)

Episode duration: 5:04:58

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Cold open: hangovers, sunglasses, and Austin chaos

American Gladiators pay drama and the brutality of old TV competition

Ninja Warrior, Fear Factor lessons, and why women sometimes dominate grip strength

Iraqi jumping jacks and the mystery of disappearing basic fitness

Microplastics, endocrine disruption, and ‘taint science’ (Shanna Swan’s Countdown)

Bottled water vs tap water paranoia: pipes, hotels, and what’s in the system

Fluoride in drinking water: dental benefits vs IQ trade-offs and ‘Big Fluoride’ jokes

Why everything becomes political: journalism, internet conflict, and Tucker’s Twitter pull

Conspiracies as entertainment: ‘Big Mike,’ cab-driver rabbit holes, and free speech nostalgia

Creepy baby scenarios and the real ‘bait baby’ story in Thailand

COVID’s ‘comeback,’ migraines, and how caffeine withdrawal wrecks you

Coffee addiction and coffee-nerd tech: Clover machines, baristas, and overpriced perfection

Oat milk sugar, rapeseed naming, and the pharma pipeline: Ozempic, Adderall, Oxy, and consequences

Ball trauma and the Wild West of early fighting: cups, nut shots, and hair-pulling rules

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