Joe Rogan Experience #2061 - Whitney Cummings

Joe Rogan 0:00 (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

Narrator 0:04 The Joe Rogan Experience.

Joe Rogan 0:06 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music)

Whitney Cummings 0:12 Like, could that induce labor, getting in a cold plunge eight months pregnant?

Joe Rogan 0:16 Ask Jamie, he would know.

Whitney Cummings 0:17 Jamie, get on that. I'm sure there's a Reddit forum for that.

Jamie Vernon 0:20 Last time I tried.

Whitney Cummings 0:21 (laughs) Last night with those smelling salts, people doing the smelling salts, I was like, "If I even inhale that, I feel like I'm gonna start crowning."

Joe Rogan 0:29 Yeah. It's very funny how those smelling salts have made their way from the studio to now at this-

Whitney Cummings 0:35 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:35 ... at the club. Everybody's doing smelling salts. (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 0:38 Between the kratom and the smelling salts, I'm like, I feel like-

Joe Rogan 0:41 You gotta, you gotta keep the kratom away from Duncan.

Whitney Cummings 0:43 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:43 That motherfucker drinks cases of that stuff.

Whitney Cummings 0:46 He just downs them. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:46 It's so crazy. We get there.

Whitney Cummings 0:49 And is kratom naturally occurring? It's like a...

Joe Rogan 0:52 It's a plant.

Whitney Cummings 0:53 Plant? Okay.

Joe Rogan 0:53 Yeah. It's k- that stuff is, uh, the Live Free or whatever it's called.

Whitney Cummings 0:58 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 0:58 What are those things called, Jamie?

Whitney Cummings 1:00 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:01 What is it called? Live Free? Something like that.

Whitney Cummings 1:03 That's the brand?

Joe Rogan 1:04 I don't know.

Whitney Cummings 1:05 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:05 But they used to have them at, like, um, Sun Life, you know that place?

Whitney Cummings 1:10 Organics?

Joe Rogan 1:11 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:11 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:12 But then, you know, you're not supposed to drink a- they're that big.

Whitney Cummings 1:15 Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:15 And you're supposed to drink a half a bottle.

Whitney Cummings 1:16 Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:17 But they're not clear.

Whitney Cummings 1:19 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:19 So you have to kind of like hold it up to the light to see where half is. You gotta guess-

Whitney Cummings 1:23 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:23 ... like, what half is.

Whitney Cummings 1:24 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 1:25 And a lot of people were just drinking the whole thing, and they were getting fucked up.

Whitney Cummings 1:28 Yeah, there was a time when you were out of town and I was at the mothership, and everyone was doing, like, four or five things. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:33 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 1:33 I was like, "You guys, when Joe leaves, we can't all just get addicted to drugs." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:37 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 1:37 Like, this is (laughs) like, when you're out of town, it is a little different up there. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:41 Well, it's kind of an opiate. It's ki- uh, I don't know. What exactly is kratom?

Whitney Cummings 1:46 And it's legal?

Joe Rogan 1:46 It kinda is an o-

Whitney Cummings 1:47 It's legal?

Joe Rogan 1:48 Yeah, it's legal. Totally legal.

Whitney Cummings 1:50 Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:50 I had a guy that was on my podcast once that, uh, used to be an opiate addict, and then he started taking kratom.

Whitney Cummings 1:55 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:56 And, uh, he's- they were selling it as pills, and he said, "Well, if you take a small amount of it, it actually acts as, like, a stimulant. But if you take a larger amount of it, it's, it's a different effect."

Whitney Cummings 2:04 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 2:05 So I said, "How many do you take?" He says, "I take 10."

Whitney Cummings 2:08 Oh.

Joe Rogan 2:08 I go, "You take 10?"

Whitney Cummings 2:10 Okay.

Joe Rogan 2:10 He goes, "I take 10 before I work out." I'm like, "Okay, I'll try it." So I took 10, and I was high as fuck.

Whitney Cummings 2:17 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:18 It's a weird high, because it's like I felt like, um... You know, I'm, I'm pretty aware of my body, so I'm like, my motor skills feel perfect.

Whitney Cummings 2:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:29 Like, I don't feel like anything's wrong. Like, I feel like I could go do stuff.

Whitney Cummings 2:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:33 Like, I'm not like, "Uh," like shit, like drunk or anything like that. I go, but I'm definitely affected.

Whitney Cummings 2:39 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 2:39 So what is this? Like, would this affect judgment? Would this affect your reaction time? Like, sh- I shouldn't drive like this.

Whitney Cummings 2:46 But pain tolerance down, that's probably good for working out.

Joe Rogan 2:48 I guess. Is it, though? Like-

Whitney Cummings 2:50 I did kinda use to like to smoke weed and work out.

Joe Rogan 2:53 I like smoking weed and work out.

Whitney Cummings 2:54 So I feel like I could do more.

Joe Rogan 2:54 Yeah. Well, smoking weed and working out makes me feel like I know what my muscles are doing.

Whitney Cummings 3:00 Yeah, you like feel-

Joe Rogan 3:01 Like, I feel every-

Whitney Cummings 3:02 ... every, focusing more.

Joe Rogan 3:03 Yeah, I feel the fibers and shit. You know what it's really good for? Technique.

Whitney Cummings 3:07 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 3:08 Like, when you learn martial arts technique, like, there's cert- like, there's certain things about, like, kicking a bag in particular. When I'm not, when I haven't smoked weed, I mean, I've been doing it my whole life, so I know how to do it. But then if I smoke weed, I feel like where the little leverage points are.

Whitney Cummings 3:29 Oh.

Joe Rogan 3:30 I feel, like, where the torque comes in. I feel, like, the, I feel the weight distribution. It's, like, just you're more sensitive.

Whitney Cummings 3:38 Just more present in your body kind of thing?

Joe Rogan 3:40 Yeah. It makes you so much better at pool. It makes my pool game, like-

Whitney Cummings 3:44 Really?

Joe Rogan 3:44 Yeah, like, there's a term in pool, like, a ball. Like, say, if we were playing nine-ball and you were better than me, you would give me the eight-ball. That means, like, it's a, it's a big advantage to have the eight-ball. That means I don't just win by winning- by making the nine-ball. I can make the nine-ball or the eight-ball. So that's like, it gives you a ball. That means, so, like, when I smoke pot, I'm one ball better. Like, legitimately.

Whitney Cummings 4:07 Wow.

Joe Rogan 4:07 I'm, like, s- like, I'm like 10% better easily.

Whitney Cummings 4:10 Wow.

Joe Rogan 4:10 Maybe more.

Whitney Cummings 4:11 Is there any in pool, like, shade on taking Adderall or smoking weed or there's no, like, no one cares?

Joe Rogan 4:17 Yeah, people talk shit about you, but they all do it.

Whitney Cummings 4:19 Right.

Joe Rogan 4:20 Like, pool players are notorious drug addicts.

Whitney Cummings 4:23 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:23 They're fucking-

Whitney Cummings 4:23 I think cocaine is probably great for pool.

Joe Rogan 4:25 Oh. (scoffs) There's, I've met mo- I didn't even know drugs. I didn't really understand drug culture when I started hanging around in pool halls because, uh, I'd gone from being a fighter to being a comedian. So in fighting, there's no drinking, no partying, no nothing.

Whitney Cummings 4:42 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 4:42 All throughout high school, I was like, very rarely did I imbibe in anything. I was all just about competition. And then I started hanging out with comedians, and the ones that were doing drugs, like God, their life was falling apart, like these people...

Whitney Cummings 4:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:57 And then I started hanging out in this pool hall, and they were all doing drugs.

Whitney Cummings 5:01 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 5:02 Everybody was doing something. There was guys doing heroin, there was guys, uh, that were crack addicts. Like, one of my best friends was a crack addict.

Whitney Cummings 5:09 Have you seen this video where Boosie, the rapper is endorsing crack over fentanyl?

Joe Rogan 5:14 (laughs)

Jamie Vernon 5:15 Yes.

Whitney Cummings 5:15 (laughs) Have you seen... Dude, it's so-

Joe Rogan 5:18 Well, it's a good point. Crackheads live-

Whitney Cummings 5:20 He's like, "My crackhead friends I've known for 20 years." He's like, "They're around."

Joe Rogan 5:24 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 5:24 "They can do anything."

Jamie Vernon 5:26 Oh.

Whitney Cummings 5:26 "They have powers." And then-

Joe Rogan 5:28 Well, you know, crack is just cocaine. It's just another way-

Whitney Cummings 5:32 Oh, he just cooks.

Joe Rogan 5:33 It's, yeah, it's freebasing cocaine, and the scary thing is, even though we know that, it's one of the most racist laws that's ever been enacted, where the difference between the, uh, the sentencing for someone who gets caught with crack versus someone who gets caught with an equivalent amount of cocaine, it's like a giant disparity.

Whitney Cummings 5:54 Wow.

Jamie Vernon 5:54 Didn't Deion Sanders say this too?

Joe Rogan 5:56 He's the most athletic person-

Jamie Vernon 5:56 Oh, shit.

Whitney Cummings 5:57 Oh, I don't know who that is.

Jamie Vernon 5:58 Uh, just hold on one second.

Whitney Cummings 5:59 That's, it's, uh, Boosie, B-O-O-S-I-E.

Jamie Vernon 6:02 I know who this is also.

Joe Rogan 6:03 ... you ever been on a field with?

Narrator 6:04 No, my cousin Junebug.... he was a crack head and a good, good dude though. But he was very athletic, 'cause he would steal stuff when I came home from college and could never catch him. Could never catch him. And he would sell it, and I would have to go get it back at the hood in the... from the, from the drug dealers. He was probably the most athletic, my cousin, Junebug. But next to that, I think it was Bo.

Whitney Cummings 6:26 (laughs)

Jamie Vernon 6:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:27 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 6:27 His cousin, Junebug. (laughs)

Jamie Vernon 6:28 Most athletic person ever. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:29 Imagine there's some dude out there-

Whitney Cummings 6:31 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:31 ... Junebug the Crackhead that's more athletic than a guy who is widely regarded as being one of the most athletic humans that's ever lived.

Whitney Cummings 6:39 And then... (laughs) The boozy one is, is-

Joe Rogan 6:42 But Junebug's more athletic than Bo Jackson? What the fuck?

Whitney Cummings 6:46 Junebug, the Bert Kreischer of the hood. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:48 There was this dude I used to talk... I've talked about him many times, but his name was Water Dog. That was his nickname. Or they would call him Buffalo Bill. And he was this, uh, pool player. And he would do heroin. So, he would go into the bathroom and shut the door, and he'd be in there for 20 minutes, and everybody knew what he was doing. And then he'd go out and he'd sit on a bar stool like this, with his hands in front of him like a bird.

Whitney Cummings 7:12 A T-Rex? Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:12 Yeah, and just like this. And he would sit there for like 20 minutes, just... And then he would get down, and he had, like, gerbil eyes. They're like black eyes, and he couldn't miss. He would play pool, he just wouldn't miss.

Whitney Cummings 7:25 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 7:25 He just couldn't miss.

Whitney Cummings 7:26 Like he knew how much time he needed for it to calibrate, and then when-

Joe Rogan 7:29 He c- he was so accurate. It was stunning. He, he had no nerves.

Whitney Cummings 7:34 That's wild.

Joe Rogan 7:35 He didn't feel anything, 'cause p- pool is gambling. And gam- like the reason why it's called p- it's... Pocket Billiards is the name of the game. But pool is pooling money together to gamble.

Whitney Cummings 7:44 Oh.

Joe Rogan 7:45 So, like, real pool players, almost all of them gambled. And this-

Whitney Cummings 7:48 And takes away inhibition, so you're not-

Joe Rogan 7:49 He had no fear.

Whitney Cummings 7:51 Yep.

Joe Rogan 7:51 He had no nerves. He would just fire these balls into the hole. And this, like, really tight-pocketed table, playing for like $10,000. And I was like, "This is nuts."

Whitney Cummings 8:02 I wonder what it's like. I've never done heroin. Must be, must be pretty awesome if people are trading their kids for it.

Joe Rogan 8:08 Yeah, I got morphine when I had my, uh, knee surgery once. It was like... U- um, by the way, if you hear me and I sound funny, ladies and gentlemen, I just got out a cold plunge.

Whitney Cummings 8:17 You did. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:18 (laughs) I just, I just got out, so I'm like brr.

Whitney Cummings 8:21 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:21 So, if I sound like I'm on heroin, I'm just cold.

Whitney Cummings 8:24 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:25 Uh, but, uh-

Whitney Cummings 8:26 I wanna do it.

Joe Rogan 8:27 Wh- what, sorry, say it again?

Whitney Cummings 8:28 Uh, doing heroin takes all your fears away.

Joe Rogan 8:30 Heron- yeah.

Whitney Cummings 8:30 The inhibitions of when you did, uh, methadone?

Joe Rogan 8:32 Oh, yes. So, no, it was, um, mor-

Whitney Cummings 8:34 Or, uh... Oh, sorry. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:35 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 8:35 It was the morphine.

Joe Rogan 8:36 I wonder what that's like. I wonder what methadone's like in comparison to heroin.

Whitney Cummings 8:39 Uh, isn't methadone basically Adderall? Like, we've done Adderall.

Joe Rogan 8:42 I think it's like a kind of an opiate, but it doesn't get you high. It just makes you stupid.

Whitney Cummings 8:47 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 8:47 But, um...

Whitney Cummings 8:48 We can go to San Francisco and get some. I think you can (laughs) just walk in now.

Joe Rogan 8:51 You can get it easy.

Whitney Cummings 8:52 It's pretty easy to get.

Joe Rogan 8:52 Yeah, you don't even have to have a prescription or that.

Whitney Cummings 8:53 There's a drive-through now. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:54 I had a knee surgery and when I was in the hospital, they had me on a morphine drip. And apparently, this is in the '90s, I don't know if they'd still do this, but you could hit a button, and when you hit a button-

Whitney Cummings 9:05 Yep.

Joe Rogan 9:05 ... you would get more, more morphine. And it was wonderful.

Whitney Cummings 9:08 Ooh.

Joe Rogan 9:08 It was wonderful.

Whitney Cummings 9:09 Have we ever done fentanyl? Like, at the doctor? Like, if I've gotten a surgery, could I... have I done fentanyl? Or is that propofol?

Joe Rogan 9:16 Propofol.

Whitney Cummings 9:17 I definitely-

Joe Rogan 9:17 Propofol is the, the, the stuff that puts you under. Fentanyl is a prescription drug, though. They give people fentanyl patches. There's like...

Whitney Cummings 9:27 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 9:27 There's prescription... It's just so strong.

Whitney Cummings 9:30 I remember-

Joe Rogan 9:30 What is it, like, 100 times stronger than heroin or something?

Jamie Vernon 9:32 You wanna see the boozy talk back?

Joe Rogan 9:33 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Whitney Cummings 9:34 Oh, God. It's-

Jamie Vernon 9:34 That's pretty funny.

Whitney Cummings 9:35 That's so epic. (laughs) It's just...

Jamie Vernon 9:39 Play, play.

Joe Rogan 9:40 (clears throat)

Narrator 9:41 People, to stop taking fentanyl and go back to crack. Crack, I'm promoting it.

Joe Rogan 9:47 (laughs)

Narrator 9:49 That's all I'm saying. Fentanyl killing all the junkies who been junkies.

Whitney Cummings 9:51 (laughs)

Narrator 9:52 I'm talking about it's killing the junkies who been junkies for, forever. Yes. Soon as they hit it, they dead. Right. Crackhead, this nigga shoot threes, this nigga shoot basketball.

Whitney Cummings 10:02 (laughs)

Narrator 10:02 This nigga, this nigga run, run 100 miles. This nigga can sing. This nigga fix your car motor.

Whitney Cummings 10:09 (laughs)

Narrator 10:09 Been doing this for 20 years. This motherfucker still running round the neighborhood. When have you ever heard a crackheads hitting the pipe and dying the first time? Never. Never. This fentanyl shit is different. I would much rather crack. I would much rather, much rather crack.

Joe Rogan 10:26 He's making logical sense.

Narrator 10:27 I've been seeing my crackhead people for 30 years. True. This nigga hit fentanyl two times. He's gone, you'll never see him again.

Whitney Cummings 10:36 Oh, never see him again.

Narrator 10:36 Right, right. I promote crack before fentanyl, I'm sorry. Right. A- and you know something?

Joe Rogan 10:42 He's right.

Whitney Cummings 10:43 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:43 But by the way, he's saying that-

Whitney Cummings 10:45 And the way he... (laughs) And the-

Joe Rogan 10:45 ... and he looks fabulous.

Whitney Cummings 10:46 He says... Here. He says they have power.

Narrator 10:48 Anything, bro. And they're still smoking crack and they're still together. They can do anything, bro. Year after year. Crackhead, bro, whatever was in crack, they gave them a real power.

Joe Rogan 10:58 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 10:58 (laughs)

Narrator 10:58 Did you ever see the video of the crackhead with the kangaroo? No, I ain't seen it. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:04 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 11:04 (laughs) You guys, you ever seen the video of the crackhead with the kangaroo?

Joe Rogan 11:07 But he's like covered in diamonds.

Whitney Cummings 11:08 (laughs)

Jamie Vernon 11:09 She, she was at a junkie's house, she went-

Joe Rogan 11:09 Designer sunglasses on.

Whitney Cummings 11:11 Yep.

Joe Rogan 11:12 Multicolored Puma.

Whitney Cummings 11:14 (laughs) Crack was not killing people the same way.

Joe Rogan 11:16 (sighs) Oh, he's right. He's 100% right. He's 100% right.

Whitney Cummings 11:19 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 11:20 Yeah, my friend, Johnny, he, he didn't die from crack. The, my friend who was a crackhead. He, he died from heroin.

Whitney Cummings 11:27 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 11:27 He wound up getting on pills. He died from opiates. (inhales) Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 11:31 I told you about what happened with, uh... I had a raccoon in my yard and I kept... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:36 (laughs) You always gotta... You've got Guatemalans trying to sneak over the fence.

Whitney Cummings 11:41 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:41 You got... (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 11:42 This is what happens.

Joe Rogan 11:42 You had... Didn't you have like the fucking people casing your house?

Whitney Cummings 11:45 Oh.

Joe Rogan 11:46 Those, the teams that were-

Whitney Cummings 11:46 The Chilean Mafia.

Joe Rogan 11:47 The Chilean Mafia, that's right.

Whitney Cummings 11:49 So, the only people cleaning up homeless people now in LA are Sci- Scientology (laughs) and the Chilean Mafia.

Joe Rogan 11:54 (coughs)

Whitney Cummings 11:54 And the Chilean Mafia basically takes homeless people, gives them a BMX bike, gives them like a... and outfits them. And yeah, I sent you the video of them casing my house, 'cause they were robbing people in Brentwood and Santa Monica and-

Joe Rogan 12:06 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 12:06 ... causing all kinds of shit. And-

Joe Rogan 12:07 Yeah, 'cause they're well-known. It's like a well-known organization.

Whitney Cummings 12:10 Mm-hmm, nobody cares.

Joe Rogan 12:11 Scientology takes them in?

Whitney Cummings 12:12 I, that's what I'm hearing.

Joe Rogan 12:14 ... that's a smart move.

Whitney Cummings 12:15 Super smart.

Joe Rogan 12:16 That's like Wild, Wild Country. Remember-

Whitney Cummings 12:18 Yup, yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:18 ... Wild, Wild Country, they took in all the homeless people?

Whitney Cummings 12:19 They took homeless people so that they could, uh, win the election. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:22 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 12:22 So they're smart as shit. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:23 And then after they were done, they're like, "Yeah, we're done with you."

Whitney Cummings 12:26 And they were putting the beavers in blenders, remember? And they were, like, putting beavers in blenders and-

Joe Rogan 12:31 Beavers in blenders?

Whitney Cummings 12:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:33 I don't remember that.

Whitney Cummings 12:33 Didn't they... In Wild, Wild Country, they were putting, like, squirrels and beavers in blenders and stuff to make everybody sick so that they wouldn't vote.

Joe Rogan 12:38 Oh, well, they poisoned people.

Whitney Cummings 12:39 Right.

Joe Rogan 12:39 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 12:40 They went to the, the salad bar.

Joe Rogan 12:41 That's right. That's right.

Whitney Cummings 12:42 And put, like, bacteria so people were, had such bad diarrhea (laughs) they didn't go vote.

Joe Rogan 12:45 That was that Sheila lady.

Whitney Cummings 12:47 Sheila.

Joe Rogan 12:47 She was scary.

Whitney Cummings 12:49 Dude, that bitch. (laughs) I would not fuck with her.

Joe Rogan 12:51 That bitch is scary.

Whitney Cummings 12:51 I would not fuck with her.

Joe Rogan 12:52 That was scary.

Whitney Cummings 12:53 Tough titties, wasn't it?

Joe Rogan 12:53 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 12:54 That... So I have this f- raccoon in my yard, and it's acting really weird, and I'm poking at it. It's in, you know, 'cause the way they sleep is they just, like, you know, sort of bend over a branch or whatever. But I was poking at it, it wasn't moving, it wasn't behaving like a raccoon. And so I call Animal Control, this is, like, the most California fucking response. I'm like, "I have this raccoon in my tree," and she's like, "Yeah, that's where they live." I'm like, "Yeah, no-

Joe Rogan 13:15 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 13:15 ... this is where I live, bitch. Get the... It's sick. Something's wrong-

Joe Rogan 13:18 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 13:18 ... with it. The last thing I need is a fucking d- coyote eating it, and then we have rabid coyotes. I already have to deal with that shit."

Joe Rogan 13:23 Ooh.

Whitney Cummings 13:24 And she goes, "Well, a lot of the wild animals in California are acting really weird right now because people are testing their cocaine for fentanyl. And if it tests positive, they flush it down the toilet, so there's fentanyl in the water, so the coyotes and raccoons are acting really weird."

Joe Rogan 13:36 What?

Whitney Cummings 13:37 I'm like, "Wait-" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:38 That's what she said?

Whitney Cummings 13:38 Yes. I was like, "If you're telling me there's fentanyl coyotes, I gotta get the fuck outta here." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:44 (laughs) But how... Wait a minute. What about people? Do people get that water? How is that... Where's that water going?

Whitney Cummings 13:49 I mean, they already probably, they-

Joe Rogan 13:51 Is it... Where's the... Like, does that mean that wastewater from a toilet flushing goes out into the streets?

Whitney Cummings 13:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:59 Like, what is this, Rome?

Whitney Cummings 14:00 (laughs) I know. P- probably.

Joe Rogan 14:01 Th- th- this is how they destroyed the Plague.

Whitney Cummings 14:03 They headed for the same, uh, fate it seems.

Joe Rogan 14:05 Well, that's what started a lot of the plagues. Like, people had terrible hygiene back then, terrible sanitation.

Whitney Cummings 14:12 Crazy. Crazy.

Joe Rogan 14:13 There's a book called Dissolving Illusions, and it's about the invention of vaccines and the, um, conditions that people lived in. In, like, the early 1900s in major cities, like, you don't think about it, but if people didn't have trucks, because trucks didn't exist-

Whitney Cummings 14:33 Right.

Joe Rogan 14:33 ... like, how did they shit? Where did they... How'd they get their food? Well, guess what? They didn't. They didn't get good food. So they didn't get any fresh vegetables. No one's getting any-

Whitney Cummings 14:42 Nope.

Joe Rogan 14:42 ... vitamins. And everywhere is like an open sewer. They had, like, these equivalent to, like, large outhouses on these blocks, and it's just horrible sanitation.

Whitney Cummings 14:53 Horses shit eight times a day.

Joe Rogan 14:55 Ugh.

Whitney Cummings 14:55 It's... They're walking through horse shit. That mud was all shit.

Joe Rogan 14:58 But that's probably the most sanitary shit. They're walking through... 'Cause horses are just eating grass.

Whitney Cummings 15:04 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 15:05 But humans, we're eating meat and all kinds of other stuff, and it's fucking coming outta your ass. Like, dog shit smells so much worse than deer shit.

Whitney Cummings 15:15 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 15:15 Like, deer shit doesn't smell like anything.

Whitney Cummings 15:16 It's like little pellets. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:17 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 15:17 They're hard little pellets.

Joe Rogan 15:17 It smells like nothing.

Whitney Cummings 15:18 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 15:18 'Cause it... They just eat grass. They eat grass, they shit grass. It's like just grass going through their digestive system. But dog shit's just like, "What did you eat, Sally?"

Whitney Cummings 15:27 I mean, people-

Joe Rogan 15:28 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 15:29 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:29 Sally's over there eating dead raccoons and-

Whitney Cummings 15:31 I mean, peop-

Joe Rogan 15:32 ... squirrels and...

Whitney Cummings 15:32 People used to die of just dysentery.

Joe Rogan 15:35 Oh, yeah.

Whitney Cummings 15:35 Like, that was just a cu... If you had one cut and walked down the street, you're just...

Joe Rogan 15:38 Well, how about staph infections? People almost die of staph-

Whitney Cummings 15:41 Yep.

Joe Rogan 15:41 Well, they probably do die of staph infections today if they don't get it taken care of.

Whitney Cummings 15:44 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 15:45 But staph infections are scary as shit, and people have always got those. You would just get cut and you'd get infected.

Whitney Cummings 15:51 It's just wild. I mean, it's like, yeah, with all these, like, sort of issues now with depression and anxiety. Back then, you had such real things to worry about, like, "How do I get home without getting covered in shi- without getting dysentery."

Joe Rogan 16:02 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 16:02 There was no time to be depressed. There was no time to... That was the only thing to be anxious about.

Joe Rogan 16:05 Well, you were always vulnerable.

Whitney Cummings 16:07 Just trying to survive.

Joe Rogan 16:07 I mean, think about all the times when you were a kid where you got hurt. Like, when I was a kid, I broke my arm once. You know, you fall down, you gotta go to the doctor, you get this now. Back then, kids just died.

Whitney Cummings 16:18 Yep.

Joe Rogan 16:18 They just died.

Whitney Cummings 16:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:19 You get a broken leg, you're, you're dead.

Whitney Cummings 16:20 That was it. But also, I'm fascinated 'cause, you know, I'm about to have a kid, and I, I wanna make sure he has a little adversity, you know. And, like, I was at... with a friend of mine at the new... The playgrounds now, they're, like, rubbery, and they're all made of plastic and shit. Like, when's the last time you saw a kid in a cast?

Joe Rogan 16:37 That's true.

Whitney Cummings 16:38 I don't-

Joe Rogan 16:38 You see... I see them occasionally.

Whitney Cummings 16:39 Ev- Every... 'Cause it's Texas, so kids do normal shit.

Joe Rogan 16:42 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 16:42 You know, but I remember we used to s- like, there used to be a cast with a metal bar-

Joe Rogan 16:47 Right.

Whitney Cummings 16:47 ... when I was in school.

Joe Rogan 16:48 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 16:48 It was a metal bar. Remember kids would-

Joe Rogan 16:49 They go to your hip.

Whitney Cummings 16:50 The people who had one-

Joe Rogan 16:51 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 16:51 ... it went all the way-

Joe Rogan 16:52 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 16:52 We spent the first 45 minutes of school signing casts. Like, everyone-

Joe Rogan 16:55 (laughs) That's true.

Whitney Cummings 16:55 ... was in a cast when we were kids.

Joe Rogan 16:57 That's true.

Whitney Cummings 16:57 You know what I mean? Remember the seesaws are gone.

Joe Rogan 17:00 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 17:00 Slides, slides used to be made of sheet metal.

Joe Rogan 17:03 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 17:04 They're, like, plastic. Do you remember there was, like, a chain, like, a pirate ship chain we would climb up?

Joe Rogan 17:08 Oh, yeah.

Whitney Cummings 17:09 (laughs) We, we'd get tetanus getting pinched, like-

Joe Rogan 17:11 Seesaws.

Whitney Cummings 17:12 Dude, what was more dangerous than a seesaw?

Joe Rogan 17:15 (laughs) You fuck it up in the air and your fat friend jumps on the top of it, you go flying.

Whitney Cummings 17:19 But you were the, uh, w- you were always the asshole, you'd just be on the bottom and wait and then step off it and just watch them careen to the ground. Like-

Joe Rogan 17:25 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 17:27 It was just... Dude, we used to play bloody knuckles all day. Like, we would just punch each other in the knuckle. We would just be bleeding at all times.

Joe Rogan 17:33 How about those things that spin around, where you p- spin your friends around as fast as possible?

Whitney Cummings 17:38 Oh, a merry-go-round?

Joe Rogan 17:38 You know, the ones where you're, like, hanging on, it's just a wheel. It's not really a merry-go-round. It's much smaller.

Whitney Cummings 17:43 It's a c- (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:43 But you'd be spinning that motherfucker and you'd grab your friends, you'd try to, like, literally make them fly off of it.

Whitney Cummings 17:49 (laughs) It's just a lazy Susan for pedophiles. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:51 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 17:51 Just kids in the park just... Yeah, dude, I would get stuck under... You'd get under the merry-go-round. Remember the, um, jungle gym where you would just-

Joe Rogan 18:00 Uh-huh.

Whitney Cummings 18:00 ... it was, like, scaffolding basically.

Joe Rogan 18:02 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 18:02 And you'd hang upside down with no-

Joe Rogan 18:04 Ugh.

Whitney Cummings 18:04 ... no (laughs) ability to...

Joe Rogan 18:07 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 18:07 We used to play-

Joe Rogan 18:07 On the concrete.

Whitney Cummings 18:08 We used to play in tires. We would just get in a tire-

Joe Rogan 18:11 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 18:11 ... and roll down a hill. That was just a game.

Joe Rogan 18:12 Normal shit.

Whitney Cummings 18:13 We did play on concrete.

Joe Rogan 18:15 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 18:16 And there was, like, little... It was just like a construction site. (laughs) It's basically what we used to play on.

Joe Rogan 18:20 Yeah, kids today...... unless you're living in a terrible neighborhood, that's not generally the case.

Whitney Cummings 18:26 No. It's like a, mushy now, although I was, um,-

Joe Rogan 18:31 But isn't that smart? (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 18:32 What? (laughs) I know, we're like, "Let's go back to how it was."

Narrator 18:35 (laughs) We don't want these kids to get hurt.

Joe Rogan 18:36 I know. (laughs)

Jamie Vernon 18:36 Did you see this video a couple of months ago, where this cop goes down a slide at an enormously fast speed?

Whitney Cummings 18:41 Oh, I think I did.

Joe Rogan 18:42 No.

Jamie Vernon 18:42 It doesn't make sense that, how he gets this speed. So you see the slide right here?

Joe Rogan 18:45 Okay.

Jamie Vernon 18:45 I'll play it real fast, but it doesn't make sense-

Whitney Cummings 18:47 It's wild.

Jamie Vernon 18:47 ... how he gets going this fast.

Joe Rogan 18:48 Let's see.

Whitney Cummings 18:49 Is he b- is he gonna get hurt?

Jamie Vernon 18:50 I mean, he probably did.

Whitney Cummings 18:52 Oh, Jesus.

Narrator 18:53 Jesus.

Jamie Vernon 18:53 He's flying down the slide, backwards.

Joe Rogan 18:56 Yeah.

Jamie Vernon 18:56 Face first, or face ba-

Joe Rogan 18:58 Well, that's a really dumb way to do it, first of all. (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 19:01 Jesus. (laughs) .

Jamie Vernon 19:02 (laughs) It's crazy.

Whitney Cummings 19:03 I don't know, dude. Looks like he-

Joe Rogan 19:04 Why did he do it belly down? That just seems like, I think-

Jamie Vernon 19:07 I, the whole thing doesn't make sense. All right.

Whitney Cummings 19:08 That's a, like an ad for kratom? I don't know. He seemed like he wasn't totally (laughs) conscious-

Joe Rogan 19:12 Yeah. Well-

Whitney Cummings 19:13 ... when he came out.

Joe Rogan 19:14 Not a lot of people wanna be cops these days. It's a tough job. (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 19:17 (laughs)

Narrator 19:17 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 19:17 Sometimes you just gotta get the best and the brightest.

Whitney Cummings 19:20 (laughs) It's kinda true.

Joe Rogan 19:22 Why is he, why is he fucking on duty? What if he breaks a leg?

Whitney Cummings 19:24 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 19:25 What if he broke his ankle flying outta that fucking thing?

Whitney Cummings 19:28 Worker's comp, my God, no.

Joe Rogan 19:29 Does he even get worker's comp for that?

Whitney Cummings 19:30 (laughs) No, no, no. They're like, "Sorry, dude."

Joe Rogan 19:33 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 19:33 But it's a, but it is, it is wild, I think, how much more, like, physically we used to have to contend with.

Joe Rogan 19:40 Yeah, but you could get-

Whitney Cummings 19:41 It's ca-

Joe Rogan 19:41 ... your kid into jujitsu.

Whitney Cummings 19:43 Yeah, for sure.

Joe Rogan 19:43 They, they'll do so- ... Y- y- th- your kid can 100% experience adversity under controlled circumstances, which is probably way better anyway.

Whitney Cummings 19:52 And even, like, tolerate boredom. Like, my mom used to say, "Go out and pl- entertain yourself."

Joe Rogan 19:56 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 19:57 You know what I mean? Go (laughs) , I mean, go out and play, come back before dark. We used to be able... Is that illegal now?

Joe Rogan 20:03 You could do it in certain neighborhoods. You could do it more here than you can other places.

Whitney Cummings 20:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:07 But yeah, it's not like, people don't do that anymore.

Whitney Cummings 20:09 You would just fuck around and find out. You would just-

Joe Rogan 20:12 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 20:12 ... put your finger in a light socket all day.

Joe Rogan 20:15 Well, we just, I don't think parents knew as much, and I don't think that there was as much of a fear of predators.

Whitney Cummings 20:21 Mm.

Joe Rogan 20:21 You know, like, I have a friend (clears throat) who, whose kid almost got kidnapped. He was at a park, and, uh, he had looked down or wasn't paying attention for I don't know how long, looking at his phone.

Whitney Cummings 20:36 Mm.

Joe Rogan 20:37 And then he looks up and there's a guy who's, like, reaching for his son's hand and taking him towards a van.

Whitney Cummings 20:44 Why is it always a van?

Joe Rogan 20:46 Because that's the best way to carry someone around. Like, you open the door real quick, throw him in, shut the door.

Whitney Cummings 20:51 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:51 So, and he also has no windows, you know?

Whitney Cummings 20:54 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess that's why it makes sense.

Joe Rogan 20:55 And he fucking runs over and stops it before it happens. But he was so freaked out. Like, what if he didn't look at his f- up from his phone? Like, you know, the kids are playing around with other kids, and you get bored, and you just start looking at your phone. What if he didn't?

Whitney Cummings 21:11 My, um, I have this, like, f- you know, I had that, like, stupid nude leak thing happen. So I (laughs) have this, like, you know, IT guy who was explaining to me, I'm like, "What's the hygiene for, you know, kids on Instagram?" Like, I probably just won't, you know, put them on Instagram. I don't know. Um, but he was like, "The way that predators pick up kids now is they basically just collect information from the parents' Instagram," right? Like, you're at Disneyland with your kid, and then you got strawberry ice cream with your kid, and then you went to Universal Studios with your kid. Some creep pedophile goes up to the kid and goes, "Oh, hey, Johnny, right? I'm, I, I'm Mark. I'm f- you, I met you at Disneyland. Remember, we got the strawberry ice cream?"

Joe Rogan 21:47 Oh, jeez.

Whitney Cummings 21:48 "And then we went to Universal Studios. I was with, your dad told me to come pick you up."

Joe Rogan 21:51 Oh my God.

Whitney Cummings 21:52 So that's how they just collect information, and then it's probably easy to talk to kid in, with all those details into getting into a car.

Joe Rogan 21:58 (exhales)

Whitney Cummings 21:59 I know.

Joe Rogan 22:01 I saw a hit and run last night. Did I tell you about this?

Whitney Cummings 22:05 Yeah, last ni-

Joe Rogan 22:05 At the club.

Whitney Cummings 22:05 Yeah, yeah. You T-boned?

Joe Rogan 22:06 (clears throat) The guy was running from the cops. Guy was, uh, high speed pursuit from the cops, two cars in front of us. So, uh-

Whitney Cummings 22:14 I didn't realize you saw it in person. I thought you saw it on-

Joe Rogan 22:16 Oh, no, no, no.

Whitney Cummings 22:17 ... like, "Oh, holy shit."

Joe Rogan 22:18 Oh, no, no, no. I saw the whole thing. So I didn't know that he was running from the cops. I just see this car flying into the intersection and T-bone this other car. Just, he's trying to make it. He tries to hit the turn. Boom!

Whitney Cummings 22:31 Oh.

Joe Rogan 22:31 I mean, fast, and then opens the door and runs. So the dude who T-boned the guy jumps out of his car at a full sprint, full sprint across the street. And, uh, me and the guy w- I was with were like, "He's probably drunk." Like, he's probably realized he fucked up, and he's drunk, and he's trying to run away from the scene of the crime.

Whitney Cummings 22:55 Oof.

Joe Rogan 22:56 And then, uh, they tackle him. Some citizens got him. And so we hear, "They got him. We got him. We got him."

Whitney Cummings 23:03 I wouldn't want Texas citizens getting me.

Joe Rogan 23:04 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 23:04 They're more armed than most police officers here, dude. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:07 Well, not only that, it's the lake, so everybody's running around out there.

Whitney Cummings 23:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:10 It's like it's fit 'cause it's right over by, uh-

Whitney Cummings 23:12 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:12 ... Lady Bird Lake. So this guy apparently was in a high speed chase from the police and just slammed right into a car. I mean, easily could have been us. It was two cars in front of us.

Whitney Cummings 23:21 That's fucking wild.

Joe Rogan 23:22 But it was boom! Like, to wa- I don't think I've ever seen in person someone hit a guy with a car that hard, like up close.

Whitney Cummings 23:31 And it went into the passenger side?

Joe Rogan 23:33 Oh, just smooshed the side of this car. J- this car went flying. The one car, it goes flying up in the air, and the other car goes flying to the side, and then boom, the car falls down. The moment it falls down, that dude opens the door. (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 23:47 (laughs) He's out. He was out.

Joe Rogan 23:49 And starts, starts running.

Whitney Cummings 23:51 He's ... (laughs) he's ... that's it. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:52 And he was dressed like he just got done playing golf. It was so weird to see. He's, like wearing, like, a golf shirt.

Whitney Cummings 23:57 I love that his first instinct was, "I'm just fucking running."

Joe Rogan 23:59 Run.

Whitney Cummings 23:59 What did he do wrong? He just ran the light.

Joe Rogan 24:00 He probably had a warrant out for his arrest-

Whitney Cummings 24:02 Ah.

Joe Rogan 24:02 ... or something.

Whitney Cummings 24:04 Ah, you can't-

Joe Rogan 24:04 It was probably something, 'cause if he's running from the cops, something was going on.

Whitney Cummings 24:07 When you see sh- that shit real up close, it always blows my mind. Like, when I first moved to LA, I lived right above Ari on Miller Drive, above Pink Dot so that I could be-

Joe Rogan 24:18 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 24:18 ... close to The Comedy Store. And there's that intersection there, Sunset and La Cienega, and there's all these, you know, and both people trying to take lefts are always trying to-... you know-

Joe Rogan 24:28 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 24:28 ... cheat the yellow light, and I'm at the, the northern part of the intersection, and a motorcycle is coming down Sunset fast as shit, and then someone's trying to take the left.

Joe Rogan 24:37 (gasps)

Whitney Cummings 24:37 When I tell you, I'm just, I've been in LA five days. I'm like, "And I'm a big comedian." I'm in front of Pink Dot, I'm like, I see this car hit the motorcycle. The guy goes up into the air. I mean, must have been 50 feet in the air. His shoes come off.

Joe Rogan 24:51 (exhales)

Whitney Cummings 24:51 I guess that's a thing when you get hit by a car, your shoes come off, which is wild. And then comes down head first-

Joe Rogan 24:55 Oh.

Whitney Cummings 24:56 ... 'cause your head is the heaviest-

Joe Rogan 24:58 (exhales)

Whitney Cummings 24:58 ... and I mean, it was so disturbing. Head broke off his bo- I mean, just head off body, and then shoes were like 50 feet away from him.

Joe Rogan 25:07 Dead?

Whitney Cummings 25:07 Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, very dead.

Joe Rogan 25:10 (exhales)

Whitney Cummings 25:11 The deadest.

Joe Rogan 25:12 Whoa.

Whitney Cummings 25:13 Like, when you see that, you're like, "I feel like that's how it would have gone in a Michael Bay movie." Or, I don't know, that just feels a little wild when you actually see it up close.

Joe Rogan 25:20 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 25:21 You know? Like the sounds, the crunching, the thuds. You're like, "Oh, that's just a body."

Joe Rogan 25:25 The thing is, it's kind of extraordinary (clears throat) how little car accidents we have.

Whitney Cummings 25:31 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 25:31 When you think about-

Whitney Cummings 25:32 That's fair.

Joe Rogan 25:32 ... how many people are just so distracted, and how crazy the act of getting onto this concrete surface-

Whitney Cummings 25:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:40 ... with this thing that's rolling around with a combustion engine. And we-

Whitney Cummings 25:44 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:44 And you're just letting normal people drive 'em around.

Whitney Cummings 25:47 It's kind of a miracle how cooperative we all are.

Joe Rogan 25:48 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 25:49 It is kind of weird.

Joe Rogan 25:50 It's kind of weird.

Whitney Cummings 25:50 It's, but the stakes are so high. I mean, in terms of like, the having to pay for it. Like, I got in a lot, enough car accidents in my 20s that I was like, "I don't have that kind of money." It's like, it's too much of a hassle.

Joe Rogan 26:00 Well, it's just sketchy. You're relying on other people, and every now and then there's one guy that's gotta get there on time-

Whitney Cummings 26:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:05 ... so he's fucking cutting in front of everybody. And you watching him, you're like, "Oh, look at this guy in the pickup truck."

Whitney Cummings 26:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:10 "Jesus Christ."

Whitney Cummings 26:11 Yeah. I was thinking because, um, (clicks tongue) like, you can see so much carnage online now. Like, in my algorithm, I guess, I don't know, enough comedians send me videos of people getting murdered and shit. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:20 Yeah, my algorithm is terrible. (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 26:22 It's just like butts and like car accidents and how the Disney castles are made of dicks. Like, that's basically... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:29 (laughs) Is that from Tripoli?

Whitney Cummings 26:33 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:34 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 26:34 Did you know that Tripoli has 12 podcasts?

Joe Rogan 26:37 Yeah, at least. (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 26:40 (laughs) I'm gonna give birth. Oh, no.

Joe Rogan 26:43 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 26:44 And so yeah, so Tripoli sends me all this stuff, but yeah, the D- I mean, the Disney castles being made of dicks, it is, it is a compelling case, but I think it was probably more that they didn't pay their animators, and the animators were like, "Fuck you guys, we're just gonna make the," you know?

Joe Rogan 26:56 I'm not totally aware of that one. I think-

Whitney Cummings 26:58 Oh.

Joe Rogan 26:58 I don't remember it. Let's-

Whitney Cummings 27:00 Oh.

Joe Rogan 27:00 Pull that one up.

Whitney Cummings 27:00 Disney castles made of dicks, let's go. I'm about to get-

Joe Rogan 27:02 Well, there's a lot of wild stuff from the old Disney stuff.

Whitney Cummings 27:06 Oh.

Joe Rogan 27:06 You go back in the old, old Disney-

Whitney Cummings 27:08 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:08 And you're like, "You guys should probably bury this."

Whitney Cummings 27:11 Brutal. (laughs) Brutal. I know, you might-

Joe Rogan 27:12 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 27:12 You might want to take the obviously Jewish person's nose down a little bit in this one.

Joe Rogan 27:16 Yeah, like there was one where, uh, there was a, a J- it was like a big bad wolf one, and it used to be a Jewish person, and then they switched it to a wolf later.

Whitney Cummings 27:28 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 27:28 Like, what?

Whitney Cummings 27:29 Yeah, and it's like cheap. It like, won't pay the price-

Joe Rogan 27:31 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 27:31 ... for the baguette for the Little Red Riding Hood. You're like, "What?"

Joe Rogan 27:35 Oh.

Whitney Cummings 27:35 Yeah, but like, there's, there's the, I think it's the Little Mermaid, the spears looking like dicks. The, I think they probably just didn't pay their animators, and the animators were like, "All right, we're just gonna make everything look like a dick." But then-

Joe Rogan 27:46 Some people do see dicks in everything, though.

Whitney Cummings 27:48 There's that. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:49 That's a-

Whitney Cummings 27:49 It's kind of a Rorschach test.

Joe Rogan 27:50 That's a thing.

Whitney Cummings 27:51 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:51 Yeah. (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 27:53 Maybe I'm one of those people. Uh, then there's also Minnie, Mickey and Minnie, like one of her bows d- it does kind of look like a dick going right for her mouth. (laughs) I mean, it, it feels like a disgruntled employee.

Joe Rogan 28:04 Hmm.

Whitney Cummings 28:05 What?

Jamie Vernon 28:06 The video you posted got taken down. I was just gonna play that one, unfortunately.

Whitney Cummings 28:09 Oh, I posted, oh yeah.

Jamie Vernon 28:10 It's been removed.

Whitney Cummings 28:10 Uh-oh.

Joe Rogan 28:11 Which one was that one?

Whitney Cummings 28:12 Everything I post-

Jamie Vernon 28:12 About this, on this topic.

Joe Rogan 28:13 On the dicks?

Jamie Vernon 28:14 She has a video that I was just kind of like used that as an example, but it's been taken down, so.

Whitney Cummings 28:17 Ow, they take all my stuff down now. I assumed-

Jamie Vernon 28:18 I hear some interesting, uh, stuff I just found though.

Joe Rogan 28:21 Marshmallow cannon? What?

Whitney Cummings 28:24 Well... But-

Jamie Vernon 28:24 Hold on. I mean, it'll, I-

Joe Rogan 28:26 Okay.

Jamie Vernon 28:26 It should show like-

Whitney Cummings 28:27 Oh, no. (laughs) Well...

Joe Rogan 28:30 Oh, what?

Jamie Vernon 28:33 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 28:33 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:33 Okay. That's 100% a dick squirting marshmallows...

Whitney Cummings 28:38 On a little mouse.

Jamie Vernon 28:39 And then there's, yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:40 It just jizzed all over this mouse.

Whitney Cummings 28:41 It's that. It's like... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:43 Okay. That's a dick.

Whitney Cummings 28:46 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:46 That's 100% a dick.

Whitney Cummings 28:48 It's like-

Joe Rogan 28:49 Look at the balls at the bottom of it.

Whitney Cummings 28:50 It's, oh my god, I didn't-

Joe Rogan 28:50 Like, that's not a coincidence.

Whitney Cummings 28:51 I didn't even notice the balls. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:53 That is not a coincidence. That's 100% a dick.

Whitney Cummings 28:56 Look up, uh, the Minnie and Mickey Mouse. That one is the one that really kind of put me over the edge.

Joe Rogan 29:01 Yeah, that's someone being sneaky and putting in like a little Easter egg.

Whitney Cummings 29:05 Yeah, yeah. They didn't get paid overtime.

Joe Rogan 29:06 'Cause that's, that's a dick.

Whitney Cummings 29:08 Yeah, and now the Disney employees are trying to, or the animators are trying to unionize. I'd be shocked if they succeed. They're probably just gonna have AI do it. You could also just go to images.

Joe Rogan 29:15 The thing is, AI is so good now.

Whitney Cummings 29:18 (exhales)

Joe Rogan 29:18 Like, these animators are on shaky ground.

Whitney Cummings 29:20 Yes, that's correct. Um...

Joe Rogan 29:22 What happened with the actor's strike? Did they settle that? Is that over?

Whitney Cummings 29:25 Yeah, they settled it. Uh, oh, do Minnie and Mickey dicks.

Joe Rogan 29:30 Minnie and Mickey dicks.

Whitney Cummings 29:31 Dicks. Oh, it's right there. Go to the one, two, three, four, like six over on the top. Yeah, yeah, one more over. Sorry.

Jamie Vernon 29:37 This?

Whitney Cummings 29:37 That one, yeah. I mean-

Joe Rogan 29:39 Oh, Jesus Christ.

Whitney Cummings 29:40 (laughs) That's her dress.

Joe Rogan 29:42 What the fuck?

Whitney Cummings 29:43 I know. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:44 Okay.

Whitney Cummings 29:45 It's a little wild.

Joe Rogan 29:46 Come on.

Whitney Cummings 29:48 (laughs) I mean, maybe...

Joe Rogan 29:48 That's insane. And he's got his hand on her dick.

Whitney Cummings 29:52 I know. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:53 She's got a giant hard on. That is 100% a hard on.

Whitney Cummings 29:56 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:56 That doesn't even make sense as a dress.

Whitney Cummings 29:58 Just going straight into his mouth. I mean, it's...

Joe Rogan 29:59 Just try to imagine that as a dress. It doesn't even make sense. Like...

Whitney Cummings 30:02 Yeah, like where's her arm? Oh, it's around his neck.

Joe Rogan 30:04 Who cares where her, it doesn't make sense.

Whitney Cummings 30:06 I know. It, it's a hard one.

Joe Rogan 30:08 Where's her right arm?

Whitney Cummings 30:09 It's a hard one to defend.

Joe Rogan 30:09 Oh, they're both around there.

Jamie Vernon 30:11 Yeah, yeah, she's hugging him.

Whitney Cummings 30:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:12 And that's her shoulder, supposedly.

Whitney Cummings 30:14 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 30:14 Okay.

Whitney Cummings 30:15 Like a poofy dress.

Joe Rogan 30:15 Kind of.

Jamie Vernon 30:16 There's her knee.

Joe Rogan 30:17 Kind of.

Whitney Cummings 30:18 It's tough. It's a tough one. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:20 That's a dick.

Whitney Cummings 30:20 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:21 It's way more of a dick than it is her arm around his shoulder.

Whitney Cummings 30:25 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 30:26 You know, if it's one of two things, that looks so much like it... And his hand's on it.

Whitney Cummings 30:29 I know.

Joe Rogan 30:29 Like he's stroking it.

Whitney Cummings 30:30 And also, the little lines.

Jamie Vernon 30:32 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 30:32 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 30:33 Hmm.

Jamie Vernon 30:33 Does she always have a puffy shoulder shirt on like that? Is that consistent?

Whitney Cummings 30:37 Nah. Nah.

Jamie Vernon 30:37 Or is-

Whitney Cummings 30:38 ... like that.

Joe Rogan 30:39 Maybe.

Whitney Cummings 30:39 And then, it's also, like, the little ridge on the top-

Joe Rogan 30:42 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 30:43 ... doesn't feel necessary.

Joe Rogan 30:43 It's a dick.

Whitney Cummings 30:44 It's... (laughs)

Narrator 30:45 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:45 That's definitely a dick.

Jamie Vernon 30:47 It's a shadow.

Whitney Cummings 30:47 Oh, no. Oh, no.

Joe Rogan 30:48 It's a... That's 100% a dick.

Whitney Cummings 30:50 Oh, no.

Joe Rogan 30:51 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 30:52 I'm gonna get a dart in my neck any minute. Disney's gonna get us.

Joe Rogan 30:55 Th- They're already in trouble. They fucked up.

Whitney Cummings 30:57 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:57 They went too far. You were telling us about the South Park thing.

Whitney Cummings 31:00 Oh, my God, dude.

Jamie Vernon 31:01 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 31:01 Jamie, have you seen the new South Park?

Jamie Vernon 31:03 I definitely saw clips of it. I watched the last episode, yeah.

Whitney Cummings 31:04 It is so funny. First of all, Cartman, uh, has been replaced by a Black trans woman. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:13 (laughs)

Jamie Vernon 31:13 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 31:13 In the, in, like, the ulterior universe or whatever. And the whole thing... Well, uh, r- really incisive commentary. Obviously, they always do such a good job with this. Um-

Joe Rogan 31:21 It's the Panderverse, which is hilarious.

Whitney Cummings 31:24 The Panderverse.

Joe Rogan 31:24 It's such a great name.

Whitney Cummings 31:25 All the handyman-... The handymen are the richest people-

Joe Rogan 31:28 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 31:28 ... because no men know how to do anything anymore because they went to college. (laughs) So it's all about how college has made us stupid-

Joe Rogan 31:35 Ugh.

Whitney Cummings 31:36 ... and we need handymen to do everything now, because we're using Siri and whatever. So, there's the, the handyman bought Instagram, and now is, like, going to space 'cause he's just a billionaire. And then Cartman is, uh... Ka-... Is it Katherine Kennedy who runs Disney? But ran Lucasfilm and whatever, and her whole thing is just make it, make it a girl and make her gay. Make it a girl and make her gay.

Joe Rogan 31:58 F- (explosion sound)

Whitney Cummings 31:58 (laughs) It's for every movie, they're bitching.

Joe Rogan 32:01 Oh.

Whitney Cummings 32:01 And she, she gets, like, served food at a restaurant, and she's like, "I told you to make it a girl, make it gay." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:06 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 32:07 It's hilarious. It's so well done.

Joe Rogan 32:10 Yeah, how did that h-... How did they, people that are that goofy-

Whitney Cummings 32:14 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 32:14 ... get in control of media like that?

Whitney Cummings 32:17 I think that, like, there's a really... Uh, I think we're gonna look back at this time and go, like, "Remember when we thought 300 comments on Twitter represented everyone?"

Joe Rogan 32:26 Right.

Whitney Cummings 32:28 Remember when we had that confirmation, but we got scared of a bunch of tweets, half of which might just be bots or truly crazy people?

Joe Rogan 32:36 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 32:36 You know? I don't know what the statistic is now.

Joe Rogan 32:39 Also, people crazy enough to be commenting on things all day.

Whitney Cummings 32:41 Yeah. Good or bad.

Joe Rogan 32:42 The most... The people that I know that are on Twitter all day commenting on stuff, they're mentally ill.

Whitney Cummings 32:46 That's right.

Joe Rogan 32:46 Like, I... Well, the ones I know are mentally ill.

Whitney Cummings 32:48 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 32:49 I know they're all fucked up. I know they're medicated to shit.

Whitney Cummings 32:52 Yup.

Joe Rogan 32:52 And then they're on there freaking themselves out, arguing with people all day.

Whitney Cummings 32:55 I think not only are they medicated on whatever they're on, but also, I think Twitter is a drug.

Joe Rogan 33:00 It's a drug.

Whitney Cummings 33:00 I mean, you get that hit of self-righteous indignation. You get-

Joe Rogan 33:02 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 33:03 It's like the people who write in to complain about their Mr. Goodbar being wrapped weird. You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 33:08 And for actors and people in show business, it's almost like you're testing yourself out-

Whitney Cummings 33:13 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 33:13 ... like, writing, writing scripts for yourself-

Whitney Cummings 33:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:16 ... to be, like, a hero in this scene.

Whitney Cummings 33:19 And, like, I think a lot of people need to be heard. Totally get that, but, uh, you know?

Joe Rogan 33:23 Oh, yeah, that's real too. That's real too. I mean, there's a real application for it in terms of your ability to communicate about things and learn more about other people's perspectives if you can cultivate a good group of humans.

Whitney Cummings 33:35 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 33:35 But if you're famous, that's not tenable.

Whitney Cummings 33:38 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 33:38 Like, there's, there's no... There's too many people.

Whitney Cummings 33:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:40 If you're, if you're dealing with a product like a Disney film, there's just too many people.

Whitney Cummings 33:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:45 There's too many people. You're ne- never gonna be... And you're just gonna encounter what you encounter. It's random.

Whitney Cummings 33:50 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 33:51 It's not like you're getting the, the ones from, like, "I went to Stanford and asked these psychologists what their opinion on..." No, no, no, you're just getting fucking-

Whitney Cummings 34:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:00 You're getting the wildest of wild opinions from who knows how many different groups of people.

Whitney Cummings 34:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:06 And you just, whatever you scroll into, that's what you read.

Whitney Cummings 34:09 Do you think there'll be a day where we look back and we go, like, "Remember when you could just, like, be on Twitter all day?" Like-

Joe Rogan 34:14 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 34:15 ... is it, is it gonna be the way w- we are with cigarettes now? Remember you used to be able to smoke inside? You used to-

Joe Rogan 34:20 No, because people are just gonna keep doing it.

Whitney Cummings 34:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:22 'Cause it doesn't physically feel bad, even though it is bad. We're really bad at things that d-... don't, like, get... like, burn our fingers.

Whitney Cummings 34:31 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 34:31 Like, ouch. We're really bad at just continuing to do-

Whitney Cummings 34:36 Stop.

Joe Rogan 34:36 ... certain things, like, like a Twitter-type deal or just... Any kinda online social interaction is so different than regular human interaction that if you get used to doing it all the time, it kind of, like, reprograms the way you communicate with people, period.

Whitney Cummings 34:52 Just like the new normal.

Joe Rogan 34:53 Yeah, you see people, like, spill over, like, Twitter talk spill over in real life with horrible consequences.

Whitney Cummings 34:59 It's like my favorite Mike Tyson quote is, "The problem, uh, with people today is you can talk shit and not get punched in the face."

Joe Rogan 35:05 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 35:05 And then you see them talk shit in person, it doesn't go so well. Like-

Joe Rogan 35:08 Yeah, that's real. I mean, you're supposed to have consequences for your-

Whitney Cummings 35:11 Y- Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:12 ... your behavior.

Whitney Cummings 35:12 Like, I... A bunch of my friends that are parents say that, like, bullies will come in and they'll say the craziest shit just 'cause they've been on Twitter-

Joe Rogan 35:18 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 35:19 ... or online or on those video games where you're allowed to, like, talk shit-

Joe Rogan 35:21 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 35:21 ... and then you go into the real world and it's a little different.

Joe Rogan 35:24 Yeah. There's plenty of those videos on my Instagram, too.

Whitney Cummings 35:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:26 People getting fucked up.

Whitney Cummings 35:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:28 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 35:28 You know, I was thinking about this 'cause I was like, "Is it new that we are able to see horrific shit just, like-"

Joe Rogan 35:34 Constantly.

Whitney Cummings 35:35 Constantly.

Joe Rogan 35:36 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 35:36 But I was thinking of, like, what are the other, like, collective visual, like, traumas we've had that we've seen? And I was... I'm a little... I kinda miss this a little bit, but I remember hearing about it 'cause I had an older brother. Remember the Challenger explosion?

Joe Rogan 35:48 Oh, yeah.

Whitney Cummings 35:49 It makes me... I've been trying to write a joke about it, that they rolled in TVs into classrooms to watch this-

Joe Rogan 35:56 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 35:57 ... t-... with the teacher. Remember there was, like, a teacher on it?

Joe Rogan 35:59 Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 35:59 And they showed it, and everybody just watched this teacher explode in the sky.

Joe Rogan 36:04 I remember not knowing exactly what was going on at first. Going, "What's g-... What's happening?" Like, "Why is there, like, so many different..." Like, there was, like, one going this way and one going that way, and then they started talking about, "Oh, no."

Whitney Cummings 36:17 Uh-oh.

Joe Rogan 36:17 "Oh, no." And then you realize, like, "Oh, shit, did that thing blow up?" 'Cause d- do you remember watching it at first? Like, it didn't... I didn't know exactly what was happening.

Whitney Cummings 36:26 I watched it recently and kind of was like, "Oh, I remember watching it, like, on the news when I was really young and not understanding what was going on."

Joe Rogan 36:32 Can you pull up the Challenger explosion? By the way, that all coulda, apparently coulda been mitigated. People knew that there was problems with the O-rings and-

Whitney Cummings 36:40 Really?

Joe Rogan 36:41 Y- you gotta think how many fucking people are involved in those things and how bad the government is at-... almost everything.

Whitney Cummings 36:48 Yep.

Narrator 36:48 ... was that the young student-

Joe Rogan 36:50 Almost everything.

Whitney Cummings 36:50 But they- they looked for the teacher.

Narrator 36:51 It was a double shot.

Whitney Cummings 36:52 It was, like, this whole thing.

Narrator 36:53 Yeah. ... freezing cold Florida to the cheers of the young students-

Joe Rogan 36:54 Look at this.

Whitney Cummings 36:55 Okay.

Narrator 36:56 ... of the first ever US Space Program.

Whitney Cummings 36:57 Oh, people gathered in theaters.

Joe Rogan 36:59 Yeah.

Narrator 36:59 Moments later, full throttle and point of highest stress. A massive explosion.

Whitney Cummings 37:04 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 37:05 Oh.

Narrator 37:05 The cheering stops. The horror sinks in.

Whitney Cummings 37:08 Ugh.

Narrator 37:09 Seven Americans with the highest hopes, a billion dollars' worth of the highest technology-

Whitney Cummings 37:14 Uh, oh.

Narrator 37:14 ... gone in seconds. The worst disaster in the US space program ever.

Whitney Cummings 37:19 It's like a jellyfish.

Narrator 37:20 Good evening. This is the CBS Evening News. Dan Rather with more.

Whitney Cummings 37:22 To watch that live.

Narrator 37:23 Never before in 25 years have a ...

Joe Rogan 37:27 Oh.

Whitney Cummings 37:29 He's a stud.

Joe Rogan 37:30 What a weird thing we try to do. Fill giant tubes up with combustible liquid and then light an explosion and shoot them up into the fucking sky-

Whitney Cummings 37:41 Like, what are the chances this would work?

Joe Rogan 37:42 ... to get out of Earth's gravity.

Whitney Cummings 37:44 (laughs) I mean, it is bonkers.

Joe Rogan 37:44 It ... Well, it's definitely, definitely has worked a gang of times.

Whitney Cummings 37:47 I know, but it's just like ...

Joe Rogan 37:50 Look at the amount of power you're dealing with, though. That's what so bonkers. The amount of thrust that you need to escape our atmosphere and escape our gravity, it's just so nuts.

Whitney Cummings 38:01 And then how-

Joe Rogan 38:01 Boom.

Whitney Cummings 38:04 How quick was that? Did they feel it? Nah.

Joe Rogan 38:07 They might have.

Whitney Cummings 38:08 That was my obsession with-

Joe Rogan 38:09 I watched a video on the implosion of the submarine the other day. Like, what if-

Whitney Cummings 38:12 Can't get enough.

Joe Rogan 38:13 What if ... (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 38:15 Can't get enough. (laughs) I can't get enough of this thing. I love that billionaires now have to do broke shit.

Joe Rogan 38:21 Boom.

Whitney Cummings 38:21 It's like, it makes me ... All it makes me think about is gold diggers 'cause, like, gold diggers now don't even get to do cool stuff anymore. (laughs) It's like, it used to be like, you go to Monaco, you go to, like, you know, we're gonna go to St. Barts or-

Joe Rogan 38:32 Now you gotta get a submarine.

Whitney Cummings 38:33 (laughs) Now you gotta go look at a bunch of trash at the bottom of the ocean.

Joe Rogan 38:35 Who was telling us about people that are paying to go over to Russia, they're paying to go over to Ukraine and fight on the front line? They'll let them shoot guns.

Jamie Vernon 38:46 I don't know who was telling us. I don't know.

Joe Rogan 38:48 You don't remember someone telling them?

Jamie Vernon 38:49 I don't remember someone telling us.

Joe Rogan 38:51 Maybe someone told me off air.

Jamie Vernon 38:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:53 Maybe it was a different thing. But they were saying that they know someone who literally paid to go and fight for Ukraine against Russia. They went and they allowed them to operate guns and shit. I was like, what is ... And my ... See, this is why I wanted to bring it up because I'm like, is that a bullshit story? But if-

Whitney Cummings 39:13 I feel, I feel like-

Joe Rogan 39:13 ... if Ukraine is like-

Whitney Cummings 39:14 ... Ukraine would let you do it for free at this point. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:16 Right, that's what I'm saying. But everything, even back then, they're so corrupt. That is a, such a corrupt country and there's so much shady, "My friend, what do you want to do?"

Whitney Cummings 39:23 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:23 "You have money? We give you gun to shoot at them." And then next thing you know-

Whitney Cummings 39:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:29 ... is some fucking frat kid whose dad's got an oil baron.

Whitney Cummings 39:33 Yeah, some rich kid who said-

Joe Rogan 39:33 Is over there, fucking, "Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. Okay, get me out of here."

Whitney Cummings 39:37 He's taking to the sandals of Ukraine-

Joe Rogan 39:38 And they get him in a truck and take him home.

Whitney Cummings 39:38 ... trying to get content for his TikToks. It's just what we need.

Joe Rogan 39:42 I think people have done something like that.

Whitney Cummings 39:44 Didn't, by the way, I think RFK's son went over to fight.

Joe Rogan 39:47 RFK's son did go over to fight.

Whitney Cummings 39:49 Did he have to literally ... I feel like there had to be like a ...

Joe Rogan 39:51 He didn't tell anyone. He just went over and did it and then came back.

Whitney Cummings 39:55 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 39:56 Like, he di- he didn't even tell his, his dad.

Whitney Cummings 39:58 Yeah, right, right.

Joe Rogan 39:59 His dad didn't ... RFK Jr. did not know his son was over there.

Whitney Cummings 40:01 So you just show up and you're like, "Hey, I'm on your side"?

Joe Rogan 40:04 I don't know. I don't know how he applied, but I think he was in some sort of special forces group.

Jamie Vernon 40:10 Um, there are very rich Ukrainians doing this, so I don't know if it's like an American thing.

Joe Rogan 40:15 Okay, maybe that's what it is.

Jamie Vernon 40:17 Yeah, this article on NPR says there's r- like billionaires that are leading battalions, but they might also have some sort of-

Whitney Cummings 40:23 I mean, that's-

Jamie Vernon 40:24 ... training or something like that.

Joe Rogan 40:24 Oh, but isn't that just like the guy that they blew up?

Jamie Vernon 40:28 Uh, that's-

Joe Rogan 40:28 The guy who was thrown-

Jamie Vernon 40:29 ... on the other side.

Joe Rogan 40:30 Right, but he-

Whitney Cummings 40:31 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:31 ... he was a billionaire that ran his own army, the Wagner Group, right?

Whitney Cummings 40:34 Yes, I'm a businessman and now I'm a commander of a military unit in Ukraine. (laughs) Like, are you having that much trouble getting chicks as a billionaire? I think you should do-

Joe Rogan 40:42 Yeah, but that might be a different thing.

Jamie Vernon 40:44 Okay, yeah, that might be it. That's the only thing I was wondering.

Joe Rogan 40:45 That might be a thing where he just felt like he has to take up arms because Russia's invading.

Whitney Cummings 40:51 I get that, by the way. I do feel like, isn't it ... I mean, I text a lot of my friends about this, where I'm like, "Is today the day? Like, is today the day we're all going to war?"

Joe Rogan 40:59 Right.

Whitney Cummings 40:59 Like, there is a little bit of, uh ...

Joe Rogan 41:01 Way more than ever before.

Whitney Cummings 41:02 Way more than ... I mean, I'm looking at bunkers at 2:00 AM. I'm kinda ...

Joe Rogan 41:07 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 41:07 It feel- I mean, what is our ... If, what if draft happens? Can you imagine our 18-year-olds going-

Joe Rogan 41:12 Nah.

Whitney Cummings 41:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:13 TikTok kids getting drafted.

Whitney Cummings 41:15 Fucking eating Tide pods going over there, like ...

Joe Rogan 41:17 Yeah, draft is real. It would be a real issue with the morale of this country and the, the suspicion of, like, the government doing unethical things and the trust and, and whether or not these kids could even survive.

Whitney Cummings 41:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:29 Like, uh, s- just survive boot camp.

Whitney Cummings 41:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:32 I mean, this is the softest.

Whitney Cummings 41:32 Just survive filling out the form saying their gender. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:35 This is the softest, the softest generation that's ever existed.

Whitney Cummings 41:40 It's scary.

Joe Rogan 41:41 It's wild how quickly it happened. It really is wild. I mean, i- if this was engineered by Russia, good job.

Whitney Cummings 41:48 They nailed it.

Joe Rogan 41:48 You fucking nailed it.

Whitney Cummings 41:49 They nailed it.

Joe Rogan 41:50 They did a- all, everything that everybody wanted, a complete lack of faith in the government.

Whitney Cummings 41:55 Mm-hmm. Whoever put Roundup in the water so that-

Joe Rogan 41:58 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 41:58 ... everybody went, you know, soft.

Joe Rogan 42:00 Yeah, fluoride.

Whitney Cummings 42:01 Yeah, yeah, the fl- between the fluoride and the Roundup and all the endocrine disruptors.

Joe Rogan 42:05 They did a great job. They turned us into such pussies. There's a few people that are out there fighting the good fight and trying to resist, but, you know, ultimately they're outnumbered. (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 42:14 I feel like there's a ... Yeah, I would say I feel like there's, like, a backlash happening, you know. I feel like it's interesting, like being pregnant, you really ... I've started getting, like, obsessed with, you know, everything you put in your body.

Joe Rogan 42:24 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 42:24 You know? And just the idea of just drinking water is like a full-time job. I'm like, "Where am I getting my water?"

Joe Rogan 42:29 Right.

Whitney Cummings 42:29 I got it 'cause it's either my choices are fluoride ...

Joe Rogan 42:32 Right.

Whitney Cummings 42:32 ... or microplastics.

Joe Rogan 42:33 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 42:34 And I'm not, I'm not having a baby with a small taint, I'm telling you that right now. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 42:38 (laughs) Yeah, do you have to ... Did you ever check yourself for phthalates while you were ...

Whitney Cummings 42:42 Shit.

Joe Rogan 42:43 No?

Whitney Cummings 42:43 No.

Joe Rogan 42:44 Ah, well, it's too late.

Whitney Cummings 42:46 Where do I do that? I did the tally age test, the biological age.

Joe Rogan 42:48 (laughs) That's different.

Whitney Cummings 42:49 Oh.

Joe Rogan 42:49 Pht- phthalates are microplas- It's, like, chemicals that leach out of plastics.

Whitney Cummings 42:53 I mean, I've for sure got them.

Joe Rogan 42:56 Well, everybody has them.

Whitney Cummings 42:56 There's no way I don't, yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:57 There was a study that they did recently that was like, what is it? What was the number, like 90 something percent of people had phthalates in their body?... something nuts.

Whitney Cummings 43:05 Also, there's this, um, this guy, I don't wanna, uh, plagiarize his work, Kashif Khan, he wrote that DNA Way book about how their micro, uh, the forever chemicals in women's yoga pants.

Joe Rogan 43:15 Oh, right. Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 43:15 In the crotch, it's in AstroTurf, it's-

Joe Rogan 43:18 Well, how about fucking baby powder?

Whitney Cummings 43:20 Dude, d-... We used to put it in our underwear before basketball games.

Joe Rogan 43:25 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 43:26 50... There's been 50,000 lawsuits.

Joe Rogan 43:28 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 43:28 Uh, they've paid, I think, over eight or nine billion, which is probably nothing to them. But women getting, uh, ovarian cancer from, uh, the talc... The asbestos in it.

Joe Rogan 43:36 Yes.

Whitney Cummings 43:36 And then also the miners of the talc.

Joe Rogan 43:39 Yes. Yeah, that's what I was reading that talc and asbestos are often in the same spot.

Whitney Cummings 43:44 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 43:45 And they don't filter it out well.

Whitney Cummings 43:47 To what?

Joe Rogan 43:48 Like, they don't even test to see if the talc has asbestos in it sometimes.

Whitney Cummings 43:51 Johnson & Johnson's gotten away with some wild shit.

Joe Rogan 43:54 Well, that's a wild one. I just... How... Did they know?

Whitney Cummings 43:57 We were putting it on babies.

Joe Rogan 43:58 Like this is what I... What I wanna know is did they know? Like, did they know that sometimes their talc has asbestos in it and it was just too problematic to sift it out and figure out what's what?

Whitney Cummings 44:09 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 44:09 What is the deal with that? Find out what's the deal with, like, talc and asbestos.

Whitney Cummings 44:11 Because the miners... I think the miners definitely complained. My guess is it... Is a similar trajectory to the-

Joe Rogan 44:16 Oh, here it is, "Because talc and asbestos are minerals found close together, when talc is mined, it may contain traces of asbestos. Talcum powder is still an ingredient in a number of cosmetic brands. As recently as November of 2020, a study found that 14% of the talc containing makeup tested contained asbestos." That's wild.

Whitney Cummings 44:37 Can I tell you? A lot of my girlfriends, when they act insane, I act-... I ask a couple questions, like, "What birth control are you on, and what hair products and makeup are you using?" 'Cause you're just putting chemicals in... I mean, your skin's your biggest organ, right?

Joe Rogan 44:50 Right.

Whitney Cummings 44:50 And you're just... The amount of chemicals women just put on their bodies, in their bodies-

Joe Rogan 44:55 They knew for decades-

Whitney Cummings 44:56 Wow.

Joe Rogan 44:56 ... that asbestos lurked in this baby powder. Oh my God.

Whitney Cummings 44:59 Unreal.

Joe Rogan 45:00 That's crazy.

Whitney Cummings 45:02 Unreal. It was-

Joe Rogan 45:02 This is Reuters.

Whitney Cummings 45:03 I wanna say it was in St. Louis, but they... It was over 50,000 lawsuits.

Joe Rogan 45:08 Oh my God, that's so crazy.

Whitney Cummings 45:10 Johnson & Johnson didn't tell the FDA that at least three tests by three different labs. Unreal.

Joe Rogan 45:14 From 72 to 75, they found asbestos in this talc, in one case, at levels reported as rather high. Who says rather?

Whitney Cummings 45:22 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:23 Who says rather in that context?

Whitney Cummings 45:25 (laughs) That is kind of crazy.

Joe Rogan 45:26 What kind of... You know, what kind of numbers are we talking about? They were-

Whitney Cummings 45:29 They were rather high.

Joe Rogan 45:30 ... rather high.

Whitney Cummings 45:30 Also, and then as soon as the Johnson & Johnson vaccine came out, we just flocked. It's like this... That's a trusted name. They want-

Joe Rogan 45:37 Yeah, that was the first one they pulled.

Whitney Cummings 45:38 I did it.

Joe Rogan 45:40 Did you do that one?

Whitney Cummings 45:40 Yeah, who knows what's even i- in my belly. I'm kind of worried. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:43 Let's think on the positive side. How come, in comic books, whenever someone gets, like, exposure to radiation or some kind of... They get superpowers.

Whitney Cummings 45:51 That's true. (laughs) I got pregnant at 40.

Joe Rogan 45:53 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 45:53 This is a vaccine injury, 100%. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:57 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 45:57 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 45:57 Isn't it supposed to be the opposite, though?

Whitney Cummings 45:59 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:59 It's supposed to stop women from...

Whitney Cummings 46:00 Yeah, I guess... Other... Women were having a lot of fertility problems.

Joe Rogan 46:02 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 46:03 And pregnant women that took it, their placentas were hardening. There was a lot of-

Joe Rogan 46:06 Yo.

Whitney Cummings 46:07 ... sketchy stuff happening.

Joe Rogan 46:09 Yo.

Whitney Cummings 46:09 Yeah. Fertility is going down in a way that's super alarming.

Joe Rogan 46:13 Do you think people will be more skeptical of novel medical interventions in the future? Like, if something like this comes up in the future, I don't think people will be as quick to line up.

Whitney Cummings 46:25 I think fear does wild stuff to people. Um-

Joe Rogan 46:28 But we... Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 46:28 But I hope, I hope not.

Joe Rogan 46:28 But we've never had, like, that much of a reason to distrust the medical establishment-

Whitney Cummings 46:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:33 ... as we do now.

Whitney Cummings 46:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:34 Just like the videos that you could watch of them saying, "It's 100% effective. It's 80% effective." It's, uh, pre-... Effective against preventing-

Whitney Cummings 46:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:42 ... severe hospitalization or death.

Whitney Cummings 46:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:45 It's-

Whitney Cummings 46:45 I think that... I mean, at least the people that I know are very, uh, suspicious of stuff like that, but I... The thing that really freaks me out is even natural remedies are starting to be bought up by these corporations. So, you know Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar?

Joe Rogan 46:58 Uh-huh.

Whitney Cummings 46:58 Bill Gates bought it.

Joe Rogan 46:59 Oh, God.

Whitney Cummings 47:00 Bill Gates now owns one of the few natural (laughs) he- healthy tonics we had, and he's putting the apples in it with the-

Joe Rogan 47:07 Oh, the Apeel?

Whitney Cummings 47:08 The Apeel, the creepy ass-

Joe Rogan 47:10 Oh, what is that? That's like a coating that they spray on the outside of vegetables.

Whitney Cummings 47:15 It's like some shmegma to keep the apples, uh, preserved longer.

Joe Rogan 47:19 Is it just apples?

Whitney Cummings 47:21 Is he just-

Joe Rogan 47:21 I thought it was like avocados, ap-

Whitney Cummings 47:21 ... so obsessed that he didn't invent Apple computers that he's just, like, has to-

Joe Rogan 47:24 ... that just poisoning everything, apples?

Whitney Cummings 47:26 No, he just has to. But yeah, it's, like, to... For Costco apples to stay fresher longer.

Joe Rogan 47:31 But what is in it?

Whitney Cummings 47:32 I would love to know.

Joe Rogan 47:33 Ugh.

Whitney Cummings 47:34 I would love to know.

Joe Rogan 47:35 These motherfuckers, they can... They get stuff out there before anybody's aware that these things are a problem.

Whitney Cummings 47:40 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 47:40 And then, like, years later, you're like, "What's in it?"

Whitney Cummings 47:42 Mm-hmm. Talc, uh, asbestos.

Joe Rogan 47:44 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 47:44 And then you don't find out till later.

Joe Rogan 47:45 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 47:45 So it's like talking about this and just being, like, not being suspicious about, like, should apples last for four weeks?

Joe Rogan 47:50 I feel like Bill needs a hug. Like, why are you working so hard?

Whitney Cummings 47:53 Did you see the video of him against trees?

Joe Rogan 47:57 What?

Whitney Cummings 47:58 Bill Gate... Look up Bill Gates against trees.

Joe Rogan 47:59 Oh, he thinks you should bury all the trees?

Whitney Cummings 48:02 He's like, "I don't plant trees." Like, he doesn't believe in trees. (laughs) Like, what? Someone needs to blow this guy. I volunteer as tribute.

Joe Rogan 48:09 Zas... (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 48:09 I'll jump on this grenade. I don't know what... I mean, between... And then, I guess he owns half of the McDonald's, uh, potatoes for the french fries.

Joe Rogan 48:19 Bill Gates gets real about climate change: "Planting trees is complete nonsense. But the end of the oil and gas era is finally in sight." Planting trees is complete nonsense?

Whitney Cummings 48:31 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:31 We don't think planting trees is good?

Whitney Cummings 48:33 Uh...

Joe Rogan 48:33 Aren't planting trees... Don't they make oxygen?

Whitney Cummings 48:35 They-

Joe Rogan 48:35 How would it be nonsense to have-

Whitney Cummings 48:37 Does-

Joe Rogan 48:37 ... something that filters carbon dioxide and makes oxygen?

Whitney Cummings 48:39 I think he's done too much of that Apeel.

Joe Rogan 48:41 Claims circling that Microsoft founder Bill Gates supports chopping down 70 million acres of trees. But the truth is more complicated. Oh.

Whitney Cummings 48:50 Oh, is it?

Joe Rogan 48:51 What's complicated?

Whitney Cummings 48:52 Shock. There's a video of him, like, being very glib about it.

Joe Rogan 48:57 ... yeah.

Whitney Cummings 48:58 ... promoting deforestation. Okay.

Joe Rogan 49:01 What?

Whitney Cummings 49:01 Cool, cool cause. Well, I think he kind of wants to regulate the weather, right?

Joe Rogan 49:04 A startup company with a unique concept for removal of trees to protect California forests. Well, there's something to the removal of dead trees, and that's something that actually Trump talked about when the wildfires were hitting California. He said he was gonna cut off their funding if they didn't take care of their forests.

Whitney Cummings 49:20 But I don't think that's what he's saying.

Joe Rogan 49:21 No, I don't think that's what he's saying either.

Whitney Cummings 49:22 I think he's saying like, what, what-

Joe Rogan 49:24 What you're supposed to do is... Trees die, right? And they die and then they fall and you get deadfall, and that stuff dries out and that stuff becomes highly flammable.

Whitney Cummings 49:33 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 49:34 So, if you got a gang... Like, there was an issue back a few years ago. There was a thing called the bark beetle. Do you remember that?

Whitney Cummings 49:41 Mm.

Joe Rogan 49:42 It was up in, like, uh, what's that lake? Big Bear. It's, like, up in that area.

Whitney Cummings 49:49 It's where all my friends go to relapse. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:51 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 49:53 No one goes to Big Bear and comes back so far.

Joe Rogan 49:55 Big Bear is a crazy place.

Whitney Cummings 49:56 It is.

Joe Rogan 49:57 So, this, uh, beetle was consuming the bark of these trees and killing these trees. So you had, like, you know, who knows how many thousands and thousands of dead trees that were essentially kindling.

Whitney Cummings 50:08 Huh.

Joe Rogan 50:08 And so when a wildfire happened, it just burned right through everything-

Whitney Cummings 50:13 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 50:13 ... because nobody had ever removed the dead trees.

Whitney Cummings 50:15 Yeah, you gotta do that.

Joe Rogan 50:16 And that's the thing about a lot of these forests is that if you... You got a lot of... But it's also, like, the amount of resources involved in removing all those dead trees-

Whitney Cummings 50:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:25 ... who knows how many acres, like...

Whitney Cummings 50:27 Yeah. I mean, I live in wildfire land, as you know.

Joe Rogan 50:30 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 50:30 I'm in Topanga, in California, and I do, um, like voluntary equine evacuation with LAFD, and they would fight from my house 'cause I'm kind of right, at sort of the end of, uh, like 170 acres, like in a hollow kind of thing. Um, so they would just come in and fight. So they, you know, come over sometimes and I was talking to one of these firefighters about, like, you know, like, "Oh, the forest fires," and he was like, "Look," this is gonna get me in some trouble maybe, but he's like, "Look, most of the fires in California are homeless people. But we can't tell people that or else people would just start taking baseball bats to homeless people constantly, you know?"

Joe Rogan 51:01 Jesus Christ.

Whitney Cummings 51:02 So, it was like, a lot of it is, like, fires or smoking or, or little-

Joe Rogan 51:05 Campfires.

Whitney Cummings 51:06 ... campfires.

Joe Rogan 51:06 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 51:07 Campfires.

Joe Rogan 51:08 Yeah. Well, if your life is so fucked up that you're, you know, in a fucking tent-

Whitney Cummings 51:14 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 51:15 ... on the middle of a grassy hillside-

Whitney Cummings 51:17 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 51:17 ... and you're doing fentanyl-

Whitney Cummings 51:19 Well, these are like the-

Joe Rogan 51:19 ... you're probably not responsible with fire.

Whitney Cummings 51:21 ... the homeless camp wars in Venice where they were just throwing, like, Molotov cocktails at each other to set each other on fire.

Joe Rogan 51:27 Ugh. (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 51:28 I mean, it was, it was the Gaza Strip there for a minute.

Joe Rogan 51:31 It's just so nuts that it happened so quick.

Whitney Cummings 51:34 So quick.

Joe Rogan 51:34 Again, Russia, good job.

Whitney Cummings 51:36 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 51:36 You guys nailed it.

Whitney Cummings 51:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:38 Like, whatever you did to our education system, whatever you did to-

Whitney Cummings 51:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:42 ... crush our faith in democracy.

Whitney Cummings 51:44 What else is-

Joe Rogan 51:44 Amazing work.

Whitney Cummings 51:45 Yeah. And just a testament to how, like, one sick bill will put you out. Like, what... And people can't afford housing.

Joe Rogan 51:52 There's that.

Whitney Cummings 51:52 Right.

Joe Rogan 51:53 But it's mostly mental illness and drug addiction.

Whitney Cummings 51:55 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 51:55 It's mostly that. There's, there's people that are down on their luck, but those people usually find a way back.

Whitney Cummings 52:00 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 52:01 It's mental illness for the most part, and drug addiction. And, you know, and also the community that comes from a bunch of people that are also just as fucked up as you.

Whitney Cummings 52:11 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 52:12 People like to be a... If you're a fucking mess-

Whitney Cummings 52:14 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 52:14 ... you like to be around other messes. You don't wanna be a mess-

Whitney Cummings 52:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:16 ... and be around Jocko. He's over there-

Whitney Cummings 52:19 No.

Joe Rogan 52:19 ... getting up at 4:30 in the morning and working out.

Whitney Cummings 52:21 No.

Joe Rogan 52:21 And, like, you, you want to be a mess around other non-ambitious people that are just laying around. And that's their community.

Whitney Cummings 52:28 It's pretty wild. In California, you can be homeless. I mean, the homeless people in California, they're not trying... They're, they've got ring lights, they've got cell phones.

Joe Rogan 52:36 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 52:36 They're-

Joe Rogan 52:36 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 52:37 ... they're getting their morning sunlight.

Joe Rogan 52:38 It's not that cold out.

Whitney Cummings 52:39 They're-

Joe Rogan 52:40 It's not that big a deal.

Whitney Cummings 52:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:41 They could get a 24-hour gym membership.

Whitney Cummings 52:43 They're in shape, too. I had, I had my... (laughs) Dude, they look great.

Joe Rogan 52:47 (laughs) It's that gym membership.

Whitney Cummings 52:48 They're barefoot. They're grounding in the grass. I mean...

Joe Rogan 52:50 They're probably healthier than most of us.

Whitney Cummings 52:51 They're probably living the lives that we're all trying to learn to live from these, you know, um, high performers. But I got my laptop stolen out of my car outside The Improv on Melrose, and, um, and this guy... I wasn't gonna fight with him about it, but he was, like, cut... He was ripped. He looked great. He looked like Goggins. I mean, he looked great, you know? And it's just kind of a lifestyle at this point. I don't think they're trying to change it.

Joe Rogan 53:13 Well, also, if you steal anything that's less than $900, they don't even arrest you.

Whitney Cummings 53:18 That's right, with the stores and stuff.

Joe Rogan 53:20 Which is fucking... The dumbest shit ever. Which, and then these mass lootings where these kids organize.

Whitney Cummings 53:26 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:26 That's crazy, too.

Whitney Cummings 53:27 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:28 It's like, what... This is a, a complete collapse of society that's happening whi- while we're here.

Whitney Cummings 53:34 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 53:35 So it's ha- it's... So it's hard to really understand the scope of it, unless you could have, like, a go back in time machine-

Whitney Cummings 53:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:41 ... and, like, see what those same streets looked like 20 years ago, see what these same stores were like 20 years ago, and then see what's going on now. It's like, "Whoa."

Whitney Cummings 53:50 Yep.

Joe Rogan 53:50 "This is, this is like a fucking RoboCop movie."

Whitney Cummings 53:53 That's it.

Joe Rogan 53:53 "This is... Something's wrong here."

Whitney Cummings 53:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:55 "Real wrong."

Whitney Cummings 53:56 Just gangs of people-

Joe Rogan 53:58 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 53:58 ... organizing to steal per- And then what do they do with it? They put it on eBay? They just are...

Joe Rogan 54:03 I...

Whitney Cummings 54:03 Whatever you gotta do, man. I mean, it's like, with what's going on in this country, I'm always, like, I'm almost like, "Good for you guys." Go-

Joe Rogan 54:08 "Good for you to steal my laptop." Is that what you're saying?

Whitney Cummings 54:10 I don't... Not my... That, I didn't mind. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:12 What are you saying?

Whitney Cummings 54:12 I had some good jokes in there.

Joe Rogan 54:13 "Good for you."

Whitney Cummings 54:14 One time, uh, uh, Janeane Garofalo was on stage, and, um, she goes, "Yeah, I lost my, um, my joke notebook in St. Louis. Uh, so if you see anyone bombing around town, let me know." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:27 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 54:27 There is something when you lose something that has jokes in it-

Joe Rogan 54:30 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 54:30 ... where you're like, "I just want that back 'cause I don't want people to see my jokes in progress." How embarrassing.

Joe Rogan 54:34 Oh, yeah, that's true, too. Or the... just the notes, like-

Whitney Cummings 54:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:37 You know?

Whitney Cummings 54:38 It would, it would, it would be-

Joe Rogan 54:39 Dicks in capital letters.

Whitney Cummings 54:40 It would be evidence in a crime. I'm like, "I'm definitely going to jail if anybody sees my joke notebook."

Joe Rogan 54:45 (laughs) It would be like one of them physics papers, though, like, where you're like, "I don't know what they're writing."

Whitney Cummings 54:49 Yeah, exactly.

Joe Rogan 54:49 What is this?

Whitney Cummings 54:50 Like, clue, schizophrenic person.

Joe Rogan 54:51 What is this, like, arrows pointing to dicks and this arrow pointing to clouds.

Whitney Cummings 54:55 I have been kind of writing in a notebook recently, jokes, because, like, you know, you get on your computer and then you get a pop-up ad, you get a, "Wanna go," and you're like, "I'll just research this," and then you're in, like, a wormhole of Disney dicks for two hours. You know, so I've started writing more, and I've got this joke notebook, and I'm like, "Oh, God."... but I don't have my name on it or anything anymore.

Joe Rogan 55:12 You don't wanna lose it.

Whitney Cummings 55:13 Well, yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:14 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 55:14 I mean, it's a portrait of insanity.

Joe Rogan 55:16 Do you take photos of each page?

Whitney Cummings 55:18 I should do that.

Joe Rogan 55:19 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 55:20 That's really smart.

Joe Rogan 55:21 And then you could just open 'em up, spread 'em, you could read it.

Whitney Cummings 55:24 Ah. Sometimes I'll do it, like, in my notes app, like, write jokes out and stuff.

Joe Rogan 55:27 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 55:27 You know?

Joe Rogan 55:27 There's some applications that will tr- take written handwriting and convert it into text.

Whitney Cummings 55:33 That's really smart.

Joe Rogan 55:34 I know that, um, Remarkable, that tablet thing does that.

Whitney Cummings 55:38 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 55:39 It'll do that for you. You ever seen that tablet?

Whitney Cummings 55:40 No.

Joe Rogan 55:41 It's pretty cool.

Whitney Cummings 55:42 Oh.

Joe Rogan 55:42 It's, uh, a tablet that it looks like, uh, a Kindle, so it looks like white paper.

Whitney Cummings 55:47 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 55:47 And you write on it.

Whitney Cummings 55:49 With like a-

Joe Rogan 55:49 With a pen.

Whitney Cummings 55:50 ... stylus? Oh.

Joe Rogan 55:50 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 55:51 Oh.

Joe Rogan 55:51 And then you get to ma- w- with, with a stylus, you know?

Whitney Cummings 55:53 Oh, nice.

Joe Rogan 55:54 You get this... But you have multiple pages, so you write-

Whitney Cummings 55:57 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 55:57 ... like that, and it looks like paper, but then it'll convert it to, uh, text for you. It'll convert it to, uh, type font.

Whitney Cummings 56:04 That's crazy.

Joe Rogan 56:05 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 56:06 I do-

Joe Rogan 56:06 But the thing is, it's like, you could have a thousand pages in that, easy, you know? You have little-

Whitney Cummings 56:11 And can you erase easy with it? That-

Joe Rogan 56:12 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 56:13 Oh, that's cool.

Joe Rogan 56:13 Yeah. You could have little folders and all sorts of different things with it.

Whitney Cummings 56:17 I'm kinda like, I don't know, I'm a little old school with like, I like having a piece of paper and tearing it out before-

Joe Rogan 56:21 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 56:21 ... I go onstage and put it in my pocket and have-

Joe Rogan 56:23 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 56:23 I don't know. There's just still a little attachment.

Joe Rogan 56:25 Well, they do say that there's something, and I wonder if it would be the same on a tablet, but they do say there's something f- when you physically write something down, it's better for your memory.

Whitney Cummings 56:35 Yep.

Joe Rogan 56:36 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 56:36 Part of writing it out is just remembering it.

Joe Rogan 56:38 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 56:38 I think for me. You know? And then I'll say it. Like, I saw Jay-Z somewhere say if you say something 18 times in a row, you'll remember it. Whether that's true or not-

Joe Rogan 56:46 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 56:46 ... like, that's his process, and then I kinda started doing that.

Joe Rogan 56:49 Well, he famously doesn't write his, his raps down.

Whitney Cummings 56:52 That's wild.

Joe Rogan 56:52 Yeah. He keeps it all in his head.

Whitney Cummings 56:54 That's insane.

Joe Rogan 56:55 It's pretty wild. Pretty genius. But I know a lot of comics who do that.

Whitney Cummings 56:58 Really?

Joe Rogan 56:59 Yeah, there's a lot of comics who don't write at all, and they have-

Whitney Cummings 57:01 That's crazy.

Joe Rogan 57:02 They could go onstage, do an hour and a half, and it's all in their head.

Whitney Cummings 57:06 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 57:06 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 57:06 I'm trying to get better at that. I'm trying to get better at that.

Joe Rogan 57:09 I think there's two... Both things are good. I think a lot of those comics probably would b- benefit from writing, too.

Whitney Cummings 57:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:16 They'd probably get some extra bits.

Whitney Cummings 57:17 Yeah, like, I'll sometimes, like, it drives me nuts when I, I'll come, I'll try to come up with stuff onstage or allow myself, but if I don't record it, I'm like, "Ah, shit." Like, I was-

Joe Rogan 57:25 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 57:25 ... so in the moment, like, I worked-

Joe Rogan 57:27 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 57:27 ... so hard to be present, and then I'm like, "I don't remember any of it."

Joe Rogan 57:29 Did you do Bottom of the Barrel Tuesday night?

Whitney Cummings 57:31 I, dude, I had the best time.

Joe Rogan 57:33 It's fun, right?

Whitney Cummings 57:33 I had never done it before, and it was like... I kinda feel like you'll have a better metaphor for this, but it's almost like, you know, doing Fatman is like, you know, doing your cardio. Writing jokes is like, you know, you're, you know, lifting, and then Bottom of the Barrel is like stretching or something. Like, it should, should be a part-

Joe Rogan 57:51 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 57:52 ... of what you do as a comic.

Joe Rogan 57:54 It's good to just be on a tightrope, you know?

Whitney Cummings 57:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:57 And not having any idea where you're going with things, and then totally going the wrong way and trying to bail yourself out, and...

Whitney Cummings 58:03 I got, like, three things out of it.

Joe Rogan 58:05 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 58:05 You're just, like, jumping off a cliff and flying-

Joe Rogan 58:07 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 58:07 ... and sort of... 'Cause I think that I get a little bit, after I have a special come out, I start going, "Okay, my next special's gonna be about this." And then I kind of, like, have tunnel vision about what-

Joe Rogan 58:16 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 58:16 ... the theme is gonna be.

Joe Rogan 58:18 Right.

Whitney Cummings 58:18 And someone just... Hamas Christmas was literally one of them.

Joe Rogan 58:22 Hmm.

Whitney Cummings 58:22 It was like, to just riff on that. Like, I never would've thought to write about that, 'cause I'm like, "Oh, too touchy, too this."

Joe Rogan 58:27 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 58:27 It makes you braver, and, um, and it was like a muscle I hadn't flexed in a really long time.

Joe Rogan 58:32 It's also a unique situation because the audience knows that you're doing it, and you are clearly reaching in... You're not preparing at all. You're reaching into this thing, you're pulling out this piece of paper-

Whitney Cummings 58:44 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 58:44 ... and there's this moment where you might have something on that.

Whitney Cummings 58:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:48 You know? Like, "Oh."

Whitney Cummings 58:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:50 You know?

Whitney Cummings 58:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:51 Christmas with the relatives, or, oh, the, whatever it is.

Whitney Cummings 58:54 Yeah, totally.

Joe Rogan 58:55 You're like, "Oh, okay." And then they get to see this process of you fucking around.

Whitney Cummings 59:00 Yeah, it just was e- and also I think sometimes you get into this, whether it's feedback from the internet or from other people, when people kinda tell you what kinda comic you are, you're kinda like, "Oh, that's not a topic I would do. That's a topic Tim would, Dilla would do. That's a to-"

Joe Rogan 59:12 Right.

Whitney Cummings 59:12 And then I'm kinda like, "No, I could totally weigh in on that."

Joe Rogan 59:14 Right.

Whitney Cummings 59:14 But, like, I don't only have to talk about relationships or-

Joe Rogan 59:17 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 59:17 ... being a woman. Like, oh, that worked.

Joe Rogan 59:19 And it'll also get you out of whatever might be rigid in-

Whitney Cummings 59:23 Yep.

Joe Rogan 59:24 ... like... That's the worst when you see a comic, they have a theme, and they're kinda rigid with it.

Whitney Cummings 59:29 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 59:29 And they're like s- And you feel like, "Oh, man, you be... You should be a little more loose."

Whitney Cummings 59:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:33 It'd be more fun to watch.

Whitney Cummings 59:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:34 You know? Like, you're a little too buttoned-down with this thing.

Whitney Cummings 59:38 Yeah, and it also was like, you know, the topics were so incendiary and wild-

Joe Rogan 59:42 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 59:42 ... you know, to just, the permission from the audience. Like, "Go there."

Joe Rogan 59:46 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 59:47 Be like, "Go."

Joe Rogan 59:48 Yeah, yeah.

Whitney Cummings 59:48 Don't, like, don't hold back. Don't censor yourself.

Joe Rogan 59:50 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 59:50 It was just like, "Oh, okay, you guys want me to go here, right?"

Joe Rogan 59:53 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 59:53 And like, it's just this, like, really cool, like, jump, kinda...

Joe Rogan 59:56 Well, it's also, you, there's 110 people there, you know? It's, it's small.

Whitney Cummings 1:00:00 That room is, is my favorite.

Joe Rogan 1:00:01 It's a great little room.

Whitney Cummings 1:00:02 The fact that you made... I mean, I was thinking about this last night when I was like, "How does a club that's only, what, two years old..."

Joe Rogan 1:00:09 Not even. It's not even a year old.

Whitney Cummings 1:00:10 ... feel like it has so much history?

Joe Rogan 1:00:12 I know.

Whitney Cummings 1:00:13 And, like, soul?

Joe Rogan 1:00:14 Well, I think it's 'cause of the building. I think, I think there's a reality about buildings. And that's a 1927 theater, and I think there's something about old buildings. They j- I think memories are, like, legitimately-

Whitney Cummings 1:00:26 Mmm.

Joe Rogan 1:00:26 ... burned into objects.

Whitney Cummings 1:00:28 That's fascinating.

Joe Rogan 1:00:29 I think. I'm not 90% sure. I think this idea that things don't have a, something that's akin to consciousness-

Whitney Cummings 1:00:37 Mmm.

Joe Rogan 1:00:37 ... I think, is arrogant.

Whitney Cummings 1:00:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:38 'Cause that, that building... I know it's, like, wishful thinking 'cause it's my place and all that jazz, but when we opened it, I felt like it was happy we were there. I felt like even when I looked at it-

Whitney Cummings 1:00:50 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:00:50 Even when I looked at it, it felt like it was talking to me. Like when I was going through it and, like, trying to figure out how I could do this and do that, I'm looking around at it, it was like, "Come on. Let's do it."

Whitney Cummings 1:01:02 What was that, um, documentary ages ago called What the Bleep Do We Know?

Joe Rogan 1:01:05 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:01:06 And remember, the particles were in the water, and when...... they were nice to it, the particles changed. And when they were mean to it, I think the particles ch- you know? There is-

Joe Rogan 1:01:15 Yeah. I don't know if that's real. I think-

Whitney Cummings 1:01:17 That guy also ended up in the NXIVM cult, so.

Joe Rogan 1:01:19 Yeah. There was also another person that was talking, uh, during that. I think she calls herself Ramtha.

Whitney Cummings 1:01:26 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:01:26 And she's channeling, like, a thousand-year-old alien or something.

Whitney Cummings 1:01:30 Sure. Sure.

Joe Rogan 1:01:31 So, like, her real name was different.

Whitney Cummings 1:01:33 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:01:33 But when she talks, she talks in this wonderful way.

Whitney Cummings 1:01:36 Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:01:36 And it's ... She's channeling.

Whitney Cummings 1:01:38 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:38 So there's a lot of wacky shit-

Whitney Cummings 1:01:40 Okay, so (laughs) ...

Joe Rogan 1:01:40 ... in that film.

Whitney Cummings 1:01:42 (laughs) Okay, so they were doing The Secret. Got it. Um, but there's just this feeling, and it's ... Either the way you've decorated the place, the people you've chosen to be there. It just ... It feels like it's ... It feels like ... This is gonna sound corny. It feels like home.

Joe Rogan 1:01:54 Yeah. Well, that's what we wanted. We tried to ... We did everything we could to make it as comfortable for comedians as possible, and as much fun. And to help promote the art form and help promote up-and-coming artists. That's the big one, is like everyone who works there is a door person. They all audition with their acts. The people that are, uh, going up on open mic nights, they have two nights of open mic nights to go up, Monday and Tuesday.

Whitney Cummings 1:02:20 Dude, the, uh, guy ... Was it Miles?

Joe Rogan 1:02:22 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 1:02:22 Was Miles ... I've seen Miles destroying in The Little Boy, and then the next day, I walked in he was the door guy, and I was like, "You were the guy I could hardly follow last night?"

Joe Rogan 1:02:31 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 1:02:32 Like-

Joe Rogan 1:02:33 Yeah. It's nice.

Whitney Cummings 1:02:34 It's ... And I think my biggest concern when you were building it, and I was like, "Ah, what if Joe doesn't like running a business?" It's just like a hassle. Like, having a ... It's just like a hassle-

Joe Rogan 1:02:42 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 1:02:42 ... having employees, and they wanna do other things. You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 1:02:45 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:02:45 But, like, everyone is, like, part of this mission there. Everyone feels like a family. No one feels like they're just, like, there to be- get some cash. Like ...

Joe Rogan 1:02:53 I think everybody realizes it's a very special thing that we've ha- been able to put together. And the, the fact that the idea to put it together was really just to make ... It wasn't like a business idea, like, "This would be a great way to make money." It would ... It was the opposite. It's like, "I just don't want to lose any money, but let's put together this bu- business." Let's put together this center, this one hub where comedians can just be free, have fun, and feed off of each other, and, and bang joke ideas around, uh, with each other in the, the green room, and, you know, and s- watch each other do sets from the balcony.

Whitney Cummings 1:03:30 Watching you and, I mean, being in the green room, and, like ... 'Cause, I mean, look, sometimes you're kind of in ... A lot of clubs, you're in a hallway, and there's, like, people coming by, and-

Joe Rogan 1:03:38 Uh-huh.

Whitney Cummings 1:03:38 ... the way that you've, like, really incubated comedians so that they, like, feel safe and feel like, you know, they can be themselves, especially before they go on stage. Like, you know, Ron White came offstage, and he had just done this bit, and he was trying to explain why it didn't go how he wanted to go.

Joe Rogan 1:03:54 (laughs)

Whitney Cummings 1:03:54 (laughs) Watching Ron White have a joke not go well for the first time in 30 years was funny to watch.

Joe Rogan 1:03:59 It was funny.

Whitney Cummings 1:03:59 He was like, "I just bombed for the first time today." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:01 And his fucking ... His c- complete accepting of the bombing.

Whitney Cummings 1:04:06 I know. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:07 Like, the way he was saying it, "That fucking joke didn't get a single laugh."

Whitney Cummings 1:04:12 (laughs) They all agreed. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:15 (laughs) And we were trying to tell him, like, "I don't understand why you thought that was funny." "Well, clearly, you were right."

Whitney Cummings 1:04:20 (laughs) He-

Joe Rogan 1:04:20 Like, he was ... He was-

Whitney Cummings 1:04:22 ... he told the joke, and Joe goes, "Yeah, I would've advised you against doing that joke." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:29 (laughs) But then we came up with alternative ways to do that joke were, were ridiculous.

Whitney Cummings 1:04:33 And then you c- like, went into this whole other thing and, like, basically, I just watched you put a whole chunk together, you know? And, like, we were all just there, like, just supporting each other and kind of, like, writing.

Joe Rogan 1:04:44 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:04:44 And everything's, like ... You know, that's the best feeling in the world. When you're sitting around a bunch of people, you know you can't hurt their feelings. You know you're not-

Joe Rogan 1:04:50 Yes.

Whitney Cummings 1:04:50 ... you're not walking on eggshells.

Joe Rogan 1:04:51 Yes.

Whitney Cummings 1:04:51 And you can just-

Joe Rogan 1:04:53 And you, you know you're around a place of love.

Whitney Cummings 1:04:56 Mm-hmm. That's it. That's it. And just, like, uh, like, just go for it. Just say it.

Joe Rogan 1:05:00 Everybody ... There's no tension in that room.

Whitney Cummings 1:05:02 Zero.

Joe Rogan 1:05:02 Everybody's smiling.

Whitney Cummings 1:05:04 Zero.

Joe Rogan 1:05:04 We're so lucky.

Whitney Cummings 1:05:05 The best.

Joe Rogan 1:05:05 I feel so lucky sometimes. Like, it's just ... I look forward to it so much. It's like medicine. When I'm not there for a few weeks, and then I come back to town, and we're hanging out in the green room again, everybody's like, "Hey."

Whitney Cummings 1:05:17 You've built this thing, though. And there's also ... It made me realize, like, you have to be around the absence of something to realize there was a presence of something else that became so normal, is there's an absence of predatory energy. I know that might sound weird, but, like, um, the comics, the ... For whatever reason-

Joe Rogan 1:05:34 Nobody's trying to get something from you.

Whitney Cummings 1:05:35 ... no one's trying to get you on their podcast.

Joe Rogan 1:05:36 Right.

Whitney Cummings 1:05:36 No one's kind of just trying to get near you. No one's trying to get a picture with you. There's just this agreement-

Joe Rogan 1:05:40 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:05:40 ... we're just here to get better.

Joe Rogan 1:05:42 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:05:42 And we're just ... We're a family in here, and we're not, like, trying to do anything except get better at comedy.

Joe Rogan 1:05:48 Right. There's always that weird moment where someone, like, weasels into your conversation at the store, and you don't know who that person is.

Whitney Cummings 1:05:54 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:05:54 And then, "Hey, I'd love to talk to you about this project," and you're like, "Ugh."

Whitney Cummings 1:05:58 Or there's just a feeling of, like, this feels like work.

Joe Rogan 1:06:01 Right.

Whitney Cummings 1:06:01 For some reason, we're just faking this.

Joe Rogan 1:06:03 But it's also the Hollywood environment too.

Whitney Cummings 1:06:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:05 Because everybody kind of has that attitude all day long.

Whitney Cummings 1:06:08 How can you help me?

Joe Rogan 1:06:09 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:06:09 How can you ...

Joe Rogan 1:06:10 That's a ... It's a transactionary existence, and these people are always looking to make these transactions.

Whitney Cummings 1:06:15 That's right.

Joe Rogan 1:06:15 And move up the social ladder. And, ugh.

Whitney Cummings 1:06:18 There was also a really cool thing the last couple nights. I went up in The, um, Little Boy both nights and, uh, talked to a couple people in the audience. There were, like, four people each night that were in from Australia just to come to the Mothership.

Joe Rogan 1:06:31 Wow.

Whitney Cummings 1:06:32 They came just to come for the week, to come to all the shows. There was another guy, uh, one of the guys that came from Australia, he did a road trip in America. And I was like, "Oh, what's your trip?" And he was like, "I went to Austin, Ohio, and New York."

Joe Rogan 1:06:44 Wow.

Whitney Cummings 1:06:45 That's America.

Joe Rogan 1:06:46 That's pretty much America.

Whitney Cummings 1:06:48 There was no-

Joe Rogan 1:06:49 Depends on what part of Ohio.

Whitney Cummings 1:06:50 There was no d- Uh, it was, like, a family home, like a family thing or something like that.

Joe Rogan 1:06:53 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 1:06:53 But he ... No Disneyland in Florida, no Universal-

Joe Rogan 1:06:56 Right.

Whitney Cummings 1:06:56 ... Studios in LA. It was just Austin, Ohio, New York.

Joe Rogan 1:07:00 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:07:00 I thought that was really cool.

Joe Rogan 1:07:01 That ...It must be wild to go from one country ... If you've never been to America and you see the, just the diff ... It's basically Europe. There's different-

Whitney Cummings 1:07:09 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:07:09 ... countries here.

Whitney Cummings 1:07:09 Every state