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Joe Rogan Experience #2075 - Protect Our Parks 10 (Part 2)

Shane Gillis, Mark Normand, and Ari Shaffir are stand-up comics, writers, and podcasters. Shane is the co-host of "Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast" with Matt McCusker and one half of the sketch comedy duo "Gilly and Keeves" with John McKeever. Watch his stand-up special "Beautiful Dogs" on Netflix, and catch him as "Gilly" on Peacock's "Bupkis." www.shanemgillis.comMark is the co-host of the podcasts "Tuesdays with Stories" with Joe List and "We Might Be Drunk" with Sam Morril. Watch his stand-up special "Soup to Nuts" on Netflix.www.marknormandcomedy.comAri is the host of "The Skeptic Tank" and "You Be Trippin'" podcasts. Watch his comedy special "Ari Shaffir: Jew" is available now via YouTube. www.arishaffir.com

Shane GillisguestJoe RoganhostMark NormandguestAri Shaffirguest
Jun 27, 20242h 15mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

  1. 0:00 – 15:00

    (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast,…

    1. SG

      (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

    2. JR

      The Joe Rogan Experience. (energetic rock music plays)

    3. MN

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.

    4. AS

      Fights are nuts 'cause all cats will fight each other. Like, if they find-

    5. SG

      Yeah.

    6. AS

      ... each other out in the wild, they're never really cool with each other.

    7. SG

      No.

    8. MN

      Oh, sometimes they are.

    9. AS

      Sometimes if they're in the neighborhood.

    10. MN

      They get buddies, yeah.

    11. AS

      But they have to ... Don't they have to grow up together?

    12. SG

      Yeah, it's like women. They hate each other. (person laughing)

    13. MN

      (laughs) Yep. You ever ... You ever notice how women don't have friends? (laughs)

    14. SG

      (laughs)

    15. So, you know who hates women the most? Women.

    16. MN

      (laughs) Yeah.

    17. SG

      Girl power.

    18. MN

      Who runs the world? Girls. Who runs the world? Jews. (laughs)

    19. AS

      (laughs) I bought you that book, by the way.

    20. SG

      What about all those britches?

    21. MN

      Who Runs the World: Jews? (laughs)

    22. AS

      No, the Lizzo book that I sent you the picture of.

    23. MN

      Oh, I thought you were joking.

    24. SG

      (laughs) Lizzo's got a book? Is it a cookbook?

    25. MN

      I'm gonna read it. (laughs)

    26. AS

      (laughs)

    27. SG

      (laughs)

    28. AS

      What was the book? What did it say?

    29. MN

      I ... I don't ... (drum roll) I don't want any part of this. (laughs)

    30. SG

      Chicken Soup for the Soul?

  2. 15:00 – 30:00

    Yes. …

    1. MN

      somebody just told me he killed.

    2. AS

      Yes.

    3. Oh, good.

    4. He opened up for Burt in, uh-

    5. MN

      Yes.

    6. AS

      ... Worcester.

    7. Oh.

    8. MN

      Yes.

    9. AS

      He went out there as the mayor of Worcester.

    10. Ah, it's his hometown, I believe.

    11. And Burt, Burt's been destroyed. Yeah.

    12. MN

      Wow.

    13. AS

      So he's like Worcester standup. He has like Worcester material.

    14. MN

      (laughs)

    15. AS

      (laughs)

    16. (laughs)

    17. SG

      Yeah.

    18. AS

      Hell yeah.

    19. MN

      Just material from Worcester.

    20. SG

      But I love him to death, man. He's one of my favorite people that I've ever known. He fully pissed on my fucking...

    21. AS

      Look at him. Look at the mayor of Worcester. (laughs)

    22. Yeah, he looks good. He's having a good time.

    23. MN

      Yeah, he does look good.

    24. AS

      He's an animal.

    25. He's great. He's got some of the best standup, like just over the years.

    26. MN

      Oh, yeah.

    27. AS

      Uh, what is it? Uh, the one-

    28. Well, great-

    29. No refunds.

    30. He's got great points, you know.

  3. 30:00 – 45:00

    It was the Taliban.…

    1. SG

      you know-

    2. JR

      It was the Taliban. (imitates flatulence)

    3. SG

      Yeah, there we go. We gotta start supporting those guys 'cause we're gonna have to make the jump, dude.

    4. JR

      It's gonna happen.

    5. SG

      America's dead. (laughs)

    6. AS

      The move is we need to get in the oil business.

    7. SG

      We gotta get in oil.

    8. AS

      We gotta start drilling.

    9. SG

      It's where it's all at.

    10. JR

      Yeah.

    11. AS

      Protect Our Parks oil.

    12. SG

      Yeah.

    13. AS

      Imagine we have Protect Our Parks gas stations.

    14. SG

      (laughs)

    15. JR

      (laughs)

    16. AS

      How many bros would only get their gas at Protect Our Parks gas stations?

    17. SG

      Yeah.

    18. JR

      The worst thing for parks.

    19. SG

      Ooh.

    20. AS

      The worst thing for parks.

    21. SG

      Ooh, here's an idea.

    22. AS

      Could you imagine? Imagine? That's when they would all arrest us if we-

    23. SG

      (laughs)

    24. AS

      ... branched off into gas stations. They'd be like, "Hey, fuckers." (laughs)

    25. SG

      Here's an idea. We get one stripper, we get one stripper, we keep him... There's a stripper inside the gas station.

    26. AS

      There you go.

    27. JR

      Oh, okay.

    28. SG

      While she's dancing on the pole.

    29. AS

      On the pole.

    30. JR

      I would go.

  4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

    Right. …

    1. MN

      go away.

    2. JR

      Right.

    3. MN

      (laughs) You don't just cure gay. (laughs) .

    4. JR

      I agree.

    5. AS

      You think what Angel Salazar did with Scarface, that dude should be able to do with that YouTube video.

    6. JR

      Exactly.

    7. MN

      Yeah.

    8. JR

      Ride it 'til the sunset.

    9. AS

      Probably same amount of numbers. I mean, that's, that's as funny as it gets.

    10. JR

      Probably more.

    11. AS

      I would literally pay to see that guy-

    12. JR

      Oh, there he is.

    13. AS

      ... after being delivered from homosexuality.

    14. MN

      Delivered. Delivered. (laughs)

    15. AS

      Andrew Caldwell says he now has a girlfriend. Do you see this lady, like, confused? Like-

    16. MN

      Look at his outfit.

    17. JR

      Ah.

    18. MN

      Look at his fucking outfit. (laughs)

    19. JR

      His girlfriend's Big Mike.

    20. AS

      (laughs)

    21. MN

      (laughs)

    22. JR

      (laughs)

    23. AS

      We all should go black.

    24. JR

      We all, we all, we all look very heterosexual.

    25. MN

      Distractions.

    26. AS

      Us?

    27. JR

      Yeah, the way we're dressed.

    28. AS

      We're all hem- uh, uh, uh, we're all heterosexual.

    29. JR

      Ours dabbled. Mine ...

    30. AS

      (laughs)

  5. 1:00:00 – 1:00:25

    Oh, yeah. …

    1. JR

      of the eyelids, remember that guy?

    2. AS

      Oh, yeah.

    3. JR

      That was big.

    4. AS

      That was a big one. That was a big one.

    5. SG

      You got it.

    6. JR

      There was no entertainment.

    7. AS

      The flip-up of the eyelids freaked everybody out.

    8. JR

      Everybody.

    9. SG

      Yeah, that thing, the inside-out.

    10. JR

      Oh, huge.

    11. AS

      Oh, that was a big one. That was a big one.

    12. JR

      Well, we had to make fun. Remember the bat wing with your dick?

    13. AS

      You remember the first guy that cummed?

    14. SG

      You know what's good?

    15. JR

      Stop!

    16. AS

      Remember that guy?

    17. JR

      When you were a kid-

    18. SG

      First guy that cummed.

    19. AS

      Yeah. You go, "Goddamn, that guy's a freak."

    20. JR

      What do you mean?

    21. AS

      Well, y- we had a gr- uh, we had a guy in my group of friends that-

Episode duration: 2:15:26

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