Joe Rogan Experience #2077 - Tim Dillon

Tim Dillon is a stand-up comedian and host of "The Tim Dillon Show." His comedy special, "Tim Dillon: A Real Hero," is available now on Netflix. Look for his book "Death by Boomers: How the Worst Generation Destroyed the Planet, but First a Child" on April 30, 2024, and catch him as "Manny" in Eli Roth's "Thanksgiving." www.timdilloncomedy.com

Joe RoganhostTim Dillonguest

Jun 27, 20242h 29mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

150 min read · 30,000 words

0:00 – 15:00
(drumming music plays) Joe Rogan podcast,…
1. NANarrator
  (drumming music plays) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out!
2. The Joe Rogan Experience.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music plays) And we're up, let's go Tim Dillon.
4. TDTim Dillon
  How are you, sir?
5. JRJoe Rogan
  I'm good now, looking at that coat.
6. TDTim Dillon
  Thank you for having me.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
8. TDTim Dillon
  It's raccoon. I went to a furrier in New York and two little old Jewish guys, and they go, "We don't have anything in your size, uh, like sable or chinchilla or any of the high end." But then one of the little guys goes, "We may have a raccoon in the back."
9. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
10. TDTim Dillon
  And he (laughs) , and he came out with this. And this is a raccoon, but he was explaining it's from Finland.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh.
12. TDTim Dillon
  Like these raccoons are Finnish.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  Is that the actual color of their fur or did they dye that?
14. TDTim Dillon
  I think the-
15. JRJoe Rogan
  Because it's like a blond, almost like a grizzly bear.
16. TDTim Dillon
  I think the raccoons in Finland are, are have different colors, perhaps.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  Hm, let's google that.
18. TDTim Dillon
  Yeah.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  What does a raccoon look like in Finland? Is that a different animal? What do they call them? They call them dumpster dogs or something like that?
20. TDTim Dillon
  Um, trash pandas.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  Trash pandas, that's it. Yeah.
22. TDTim Dillon
  You know? And, uh, listen, I like a raccoon too, but I also like fur. I think people should be allowed to wear fur.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, it is weird that you're allowed-
24. TDTim Dillon
  Yeah.
25. JRJoe Rogan
  ... to kill animals and eat them.
26. NANarrator
  Why do they call it a raccoon dog?
27. JRJoe Rogan
  Ah.
28. NANarrator
  I've never heard of that.
29. TDTim Dillon
  Oh, so it is, it is kind of similar to, to the, to the coat I have.
30. NANarrator
  I typed in Finland raccoon, and it just keeps saying raccoon dog.
15:00 – 30:00
(coughs) Right. …
1. JRJoe Rogan
  until a new form of intelligent life arises-
2. TDTim Dillon
  (coughs) Right.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  ... the, the universe doesn't care about that.
4. TDTim Dillon
  No, right.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  It doesn't-
6. TDTim Dillon
  Me s- me saying we haven't had a significant impact is like when your 13-year-old starts talking about Israel and Palestine.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
8. TDTim Dillon
  Like, they just don't... This is-
9. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
10. TDTim Dillon
  ... it's, uh, it's... I sound ridiculous because it's literally... I've been on the planet 38 years and I'm like-
11. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
12. TDTim Dillon
  ... "We haven't had anything."
13. JRJoe Rogan
  You get... As you get older, you get old enough to realize this hustle. You get... Oh, this, this is a hustle. Like, you're tr- you're pretending like you can do something.
14. TDTim Dillon
  Right.
15. JRJoe Rogan
  You're pretending like you're gonna make a life and leave a mark and all that. It's... You're just moving.
16. TDTim Dillon
  Right.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  And you're gonna be gone and new people are gonna move into that. And w- everyone's affecting everybody and we're all working towards some weird goal.
18. TDTim Dillon
  Right.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  And some of it involves rockets and computers.
20. TDTim Dillon
  Yeah.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  And we're just building wilder and wilder technology. But I don't know if we can escape before something hits. And I have a feeling that's what's happened many times in the past. I think that's the biggest key to the mystery of people.
22. TDTim Dillon
  And you think that we may have gotten to this point...
23. JRJoe Rogan
  I think we definitely did.
24. TDTim Dillon
  ... where people were podcasting in ridiculous coats-
25. JRJoe Rogan
  Yes.
26. TDTim Dillon
  ... and then something comes and ruins it-
27. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
28. TDTim Dillon
  ... and then it takes billions of years to get back to that.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  Millions.
30. TDTim Dillon
  Millions to get back-
30:00 – 45:00
Wow. …
1. TDTim Dillon
  Christmas party in LA and showed everyone her plane.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Wow.
3. TDTim Dillon
  She flies. Every, like, every few days, she flies around.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  Whew.
5. TDTim Dillon
  Interesting.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  That's a wild hobby.
7. TDTim Dillon
  It's an interesting life.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, for sure.
9. TDTim Dillon
  It's an interesting one.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  Okay. Don't go on your phone when you're up in s- the fucking sky.
11. TDTim Dillon
  I bet she is.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Unless she's on the phone.
13. TDTim Dillon
  I bet Caitlyn Jenner's in that-
14. JRJoe Rogan
  Checking, uh-
15. TDTim Dillon
  ... plane on her phone.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  Probably checking them likes.
17. TDTim Dillon
  Tweeting about how much she loves Donald Trump.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs) ... because that's what she was telling everybody.
19. TDTim Dillon
  Isn't that wild?
20. JRJoe Rogan
  At my party she was going, you know, she goes, "Nobody's patriotic anymore. I love Trump." And everyone's just like, "Great, it's fun." She's a fun archetype of person.
21. TDTim Dillon
  Yeah.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  We're at the end-
23. TDTim Dillon
  Right.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  ... of, of-
25. TDTim Dillon
  Time.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  ... i- i- time.
27. TDTim Dillon
  Yeah. Check this fucking thing out.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs) This is crazy.
29. TDTim Dillon
  So check this thing out. This thing, it c- it carries, I think, four nukes or six nukes.
30. NANarrator
  There's an animation here. Hold on, let me find that.
45:00 – 1:00:00
No. …
1. TDTim Dillon
  is, but when the country of Yemen is being starved out, bombed and killed, with money and weapons from the US to, through Saudi Arabia, that's not civilizational.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  No.
3. TDTim Dillon
  That doesn't, that's not civilizational.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
5. TDTim Dillon
  But Nikki Haley's up there like, "Let's fight it, let's go, China, let's go."
6. JRJoe Rogan
  Why do you think she's doing that?
7. TDTim Dillon
  Because she wants-
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Has she always been that way?
9. TDTim Dillon
  Because she wants the big money, and the big money people like when you get... Well, she's a woman, so she's gotta be tough-tough. "Ban TikTok, I'll kill you."
10. JRJoe Rogan
  She wants to ban TikTok?
11. TDTim Dillon
  Oh, ban it.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Whoa.
13. TDTim Dillon
  Ban it, and then we're gonna go there and kick China's ass for making it. "I'm Nikki Haley. I'm tough." And what, Hillary Clinton, Hillary Clinton came out like a, like the running of the bulls, going, "Fuck Putin. We should kill..." Like, Hillary's on record saying some of the most bellicose things ever about what we should be doing with our CIA and with our military. And, and Nikki Haley's basically going out there, going, "The big money likes when you're open to a little conflict."
14. JRJoe Rogan
  Mm.
15. TDTim Dillon
  They like that. The Koch brothers types like when you o- leave the door open. You don't have to say we're gonna do it, but leave the door open. All options on the table, that's their favorite word. Their favorite sentence is like, "All, we're leaving all options on the table." It's our val- it's about our values, says Nikki Haley. It's about our values in northern Ukraine. They like, she wants the money. I don't know what Chris Christie's up there talking about. You know, Ozempic or whatever, but he's not getting a dollar. No one's giving him anything.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  He's a weird one, like-
17. TDTim Dillon
  All...
18. JRJoe Rogan
  ... why is he still doing this?
19. TDTim Dillon
  He's just there to ruin things. Here's what I appreciate about Chris Christie.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  No. (laughs)
21. TDTim Dillon
  He exists only to destroy.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs) He's not winning.
23. TDTim Dillon
  He's not trying to build. He cannot win. He's not gonna be elected. He, he's there to kill that Vivek Ramaswamy. He's gonna kill him one day. He's there to just destroy other people. He's not there to succeed and he knows it. And Nikki Haley now is having the big meetings. She's having the big closed door meetings, when they take you up to Monte Rio, California in the Bohemian Grove-
24. JRJoe Rogan
  Mm.
25. TDTim Dillon
  ... and they sit you down by the redwood trees and you go, "I like, I like your style. I just like what..." Now, by the way, who the hell is Nikki? No one knows, no one cares. She was the governor of what? What was she the governor of?
26. JRJoe Rogan
  South Carolina.
27. TDTim Dillon
  South Carolina.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  Mm-hmm.
29. TDTim Dillon
  Great, great, great. But again, none of these people gave a shit back then, right? I think her big thing was when someone climbed to the top of the State House and took away the Confederate flag, she was like, "Well, that's good." I think she didn't do anything, like whatever... She had that moment of like, "Look at me. I'm, I'm the governor and I'm progressive. I'll let people vandalize the Capitol, maybe for its good reason, whatever."
30. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
1:00:00 – 1:15:00
Mm-hmm. …
1. TDTim Dillon
  an asset of Russia." And now they're like... Now it's, it's totally switched-
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Mm-hmm.
3. TDTim Dillon
  ... to where they're like, "He said it had six bedrooms. It has five." It's like, guys, this wasn't what we were told.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  Right.
5. TDTim Dillon
  We, we were told he was an asset of Russia и then they switched-
6. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
7. TDTim Dillon
  ... it up immediately to go, "Oh, he inflated the price of his real estate." By the way, everyone does that. Everyone does that.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
9. TDTim Dillon
  E- if somebody's appraising your house, you walk up at the end and go, "You saw the basement, right?" That's woodwork that I did. Everyone does that. He does it on a grand scale because he's... has more money and more properties.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
11. TDTim Dillon
  But the idea that that's what we're getting him for, it's hilarious.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  It's weird.
13. TDTim Dillon
  It's crazy.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  Because if this keeps going, like, how far will they take it? Like, if he keeps getting bigger иcause it seems like, at least in public perception-... the- the more they come after him, the bigger he gets.
15. TDTim Dillon
  Yeah.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  'Cause the more people realize the game.
17. TDTim Dillon
  Right.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  They're like, "Oh my God, this is like banana republic shit." You're prosecuting your political opponents.
19. TDTim Dillon
  Yes.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  And you're doing it specifically to time the trials around, like, Republican conventions, primaries, all these different... You're doing it on purpose.
21. TDTim Dillon
  Right.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  It's pretty clear.
23. TDTim Dillon
  Right.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  So, everyone's, like, more and more supportive of him than ever.
25. TDTim Dillon
  Right.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  So, how far will they go? And how far can they go?
27. TDTim Dillon
  I don't know. I think he'll run the joint from the can. I think he'll-
28. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
29. TDTim Dillon
  I think he'll run the country from prison. I mean, I think he'll run it from a federal prison. I mean, it might get to the point where-
30. JRJoe Rogan
  Is that possible?
1:15:00 – 1:15:49
Oh. …
1. JRJoe Rogan
  the m- motivation is behind it.
2. TDTim Dillon
  Oh.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  Like, more-
4. TDTim Dillon
  Yeah.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  ... than ever before. You want some more of this?
6. TDTim Dillon
  No, I'm good. Thank you, buddy.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  More than ever before. I mean, so many times I'm reading things, I'm like, "Where, what, what's the fucking motivation behind it? What's the true story?"
8. TDTim Dillon
  When I came up in the world in understanding, trying to understand this stuff, there was... Cable news dominated the discourse.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, yeah.
10. TDTim Dillon
  So it was just the three networks, the big three, co- the papers, the, The Times, Journal, The Washington Post, whatever. But then it was cable news. So it was MSNBC, Fox News, CNBC to a much lesser degree, CNN even to a much, you know, lesser degree. But it was Fox and MSNBC were the ones that were really propaganda factories.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  Hmm.
12. TDTim Dillon
  Fox was the right, MSNBC was the left. And that's what you had.

Episode duration: 2:29:33

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(drumming music plays) Joe Rogan podcast,…

(coughs) Right. …

Wow. …

No. …

Mm-hmm. …

Oh. …

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