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Joe Rogan Experience #2077 - Tim Dillon

Tim Dillon is a stand-up comedian and host of "The Tim Dillon Show." His comedy special, "Tim Dillon: A Real Hero," is available now on Netflix. Look for his book "Death by Boomers: How the Worst Generation Destroyed the Planet, but First a Child" on April 30, 2024, and catch him as "Manny" in Eli Roth's "Thanksgiving."  www.timdilloncomedy.com

Joe RoganhostTim Dillonguest
Jun 27, 20242h 29mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

  1. 0:003:47

    Tim Dillon’s “Finnish raccoon” fur coat and the raccoon-dog reveal

    1. NA

      (drumming music plays) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out!

    2. The Joe Rogan Experience.

    3. JR

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music plays) And we're up, let's go Tim Dillon.

    4. TD

      How are you, sir?

    5. JR

      I'm good now, looking at that coat.

    6. TD

      Thank you for having me.

    7. JR

      (laughs)

    8. TD

      It's raccoon. I went to a furrier in New York and two little old Jewish guys, and they go, "We don't have anything in your size, uh, like sable or chinchilla or any of the high end." But then one of the little guys goes, "We may have a raccoon in the back."

    9. JR

      (laughs)

    10. TD

      And he (laughs) , and he came out with this. And this is a raccoon, but he was explaining it's from Finland.

    11. JR

      Oh.

    12. TD

      Like these raccoons are Finnish.

    13. JR

      Is that the actual color of their fur or did they dye that?

    14. TD

      I think the-

    15. JR

      Because it's like a blond, almost like a grizzly bear.

    16. TD

      I think the raccoons in Finland are, are have different colors, perhaps.

    17. JR

      Hm, let's google that.

    18. TD

      Yeah.

    19. JR

      What does a raccoon look like in Finland? Is that a different animal? What do they call them? They call them dumpster dogs or something like that?

    20. TD

      Um, trash pandas.

    21. JR

      Trash pandas, that's it. Yeah.

    22. TD

      You know? And, uh, listen, I like a raccoon too, but I also like fur. I think people should be allowed to wear fur.

    23. JR

      Well, it is weird that you're allowed-

    24. TD

      Yeah.

    25. JR

      ... to kill animals and eat them.

    26. NA

      Why do they call it a raccoon dog?

    27. JR

      Ah.

    28. NA

      I've never heard of that.

    29. TD

      Oh, so it is, it is kind of similar to, to the, to the coat I have.

    30. NA

      I typed in Finland raccoon, and it just keeps saying raccoon dog.

  2. 3:479:05

    Fur vs. leather ethics, luxury signaling, and factory farming reality

    1. JR

      Oh, yeah, they don't like it. But it's also weird, like, you're allowed to wear leather.

    2. TD

      Right.

    3. JR

      Like, what is leather? If you're wea- Leather is everywhere. Everybody wears leather.

    4. TD

      It's in cars.

    5. JR

      Leather is just the fur removed. That's all it is.

    6. TD

      Right.

    7. JR

      Like, uh-

    8. TD

      Crocodile scales.

    9. JR

      There's a company called Origin and, uh, one of the elk that I shot, we took the hide and had the hide shipped to them. They're going to turn it into boots.

    10. TD

      Yeah.

    11. JR

      It's a good use of leather.

    12. TD

      Of course.

    13. JR

      But that's normal. Nobody gets, nobody gets freaked out if they see you with leather boots on.

    14. TD

      Well, wasn't this the entire-

    15. JR

      Everybody has leather boots on.

    16. TD

      ... I mean, you know more than me, but the, the Native Americans who respected the, you know, the, the animals and the environment, it was all about utilizing every part of the animal.

    17. JR

      Yeah, they used everything they could.

    18. TD

      Right.

    19. JR

      And they lived in harmony with them.

    20. TD

      Yeah.

    21. JR

      Like, you know, especially like some, some of these Native American tribes had these relationships where they were migratory with the animals.

    22. TD

      Right.

    23. JR

      Like, like buffalo in the Comanche. They followed them around, man. And they, they used all their... They eat blankets, they'd... All sorts of things.

    24. TD

      Yeah.

    25. JR

      Th- Their teepees, everything. Like...

    26. TD

      So to me, I don't understand where it became, uh, you know, so controversial.

    27. JR

      Because it's, uh, it's really rich people flaunting that they can go have someone murder a mink for them.

    28. TD

      Right.

    29. JR

      And you're wearing this thing and you've got all these diamonds and you're walking in fabulous.

    30. TD

      Right.

  3. 9:0512:10

    Gilded Age inequality to billionaire space tourism (and carbon hypocrisy)

    1. TD

      Well, what's funny is, like, there's this show on HBO called The Gilded Age, and it's about all these really, you know, like, the robber barons, like, the industrialists-

    2. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    3. TD

      And, like, they all had these massive staffs of people that would just make them dinners every night.

    4. JR

      (laughs)

    5. TD

      Just cra- it was crazy, like-

    6. JR

      (laughs)

    7. TD

      ... they had entire staffs of, like, usually Irish chefs, and cooks, and waiters, and everything, just to facilitate the meal.

    8. JR

      Wow.

    9. TD

      The daily meal. Like, it was very royal and regal, and they would have people just there cooking for them, and making their food, and it was, it's interesting to watch, because-

    10. JR

      The haves and the have-nots back then. What a gap.

    11. TD

      Back then, it was wild. Like, people say it's wild now, and it is wild now, because a lot of the haves now can take a spaceship and, and, you know-

    12. JR

      Yeah.

    13. TD

      ... take a blunt drive around the globe.

    14. JR

      Yeah. (laughs)

    15. TD

      That's wild.

    16. JR

      How much carbon does that burn off into the atmosphere?

    17. TD

      I don't know.

    18. JR

      I mean, if you wanna talk about-

    19. TD

      Yeah.

    20. JR

      ... some of the most ridiculous-

    21. TD

      Yeah.

    22. JR

      ... excesses of carbon use- (laughs)

    23. TD

      Yeah, it's- (laughs)

    24. JR

      ... like shooting rich people into orbit.

    25. TD

      (laughs) Yes. Probably.

    26. JR

      That's so nuts.

    27. TD

      (laughs)

    28. JR

      That must be so much gas.

    29. TD

      It's so nuts. But like anything else, right, they'll say, "Well, it's good for, uh, I guess, the, uh, i- it incentivizes people to care about space exploration."

    30. JR

      Right.

  4. 12:1016:04

    Asteroids, cosmic time scales, and why humanity’s timeline is “nothing”

    1. JR

      I think we have to realize that time does not give a fuck about the human race.

    2. TD

      Right.

    3. JR

      Time doesn't care. If w- we got hit by an asteroid and this whole planet got knocked back down into the Jurassic Period again-

    4. TD

      Right.

    5. JR

      ... that totally could happen. It's happened before. It's the reason why we're here in the first place, supposedly, right? The, the Yucatan impact. If that happens again, time doesn't care.

    6. TD

      Do we-

    7. JR

      Time doesn't care.

    8. TD

      Can we-

    9. JR

      We care.

    10. TD

      Can we do anything to the asteroid now that we're more advanced?

    11. JR

      They are slowly but surely being able to recognize where they... The real problem, supposedly, I believe, is ones that come from, uh, n- too near the sun.

    12. TD

      Right.

    13. JR

      The problem is, the gravity of the sun... I'm sure I'm fucking this up, I'm sorry. Uh, I think the gravity of the sun, the mass of the sun is so immense that it's difficult to see objects that are behind it coming towards us. So, if something's passing the sun and going towards us, we might not see it until it's too late to do anything about it. And then, even if we do see it, there's only a few different methods that they've devised that seem to, like... One of them is you, like, hit it with a surface, like something lands on it. And this changing of the aerodynamics of it, like, changes its trajectory-

    14. TD

      Right.

    15. JR

      ... in some way. And another one is breaking it up. The breaking it up one scares people, though, because they're like, "Well, what if you break it up into many pieces that you c- just go to a bunch of different spots on Earth?" And it has the same impact, just not in one spot.

    16. TD

      Right.

    17. JR

      Like, you might, you might actually... Maybe it would have landed in the ocean and most people would survive.

    18. TD

      It's amazing that nothing... We haven't had a really... and you, you might know more than I do, but we haven't had a really, like, destructive asteroid impact in a, in a long time.

    19. JR

      It's a timeline thing, dude.

    20. TD

      Right.

    21. JR

      Our timeline is our lifetime, and it's so long for a person, and it's so nothing for space.

    22. TD

      Right.

    23. JR

      It's so nothing. It literally is nothing.

    24. TD

      Right.

    25. JR

      Our timeline is 100 years for a human timeline. The, the Earth is four point whatever billion years old. The universe... There's all these arguments now, the universe is even older than 13.7 billion years ago. I'm not really smart enough to understand, it's something about the forming of the galaxies, like they seemed to have formed quicker. That th- it wouldn't be possible if the Earth was only, or if the universe was only-

    26. TD

      Right.

    27. JR

      ... 13.7 billion years, but Brian Keating doesn't agree with it, so maybe he's right. I don't know who's right. But it's... Either way, we're 100 years of nothing. It's so quick. And if we get hit with an asteroid, and then everything starts, and it's another 65 million years from now until a new form of intelligent life arises-

    28. TD

      (coughs) Right.

    29. JR

      ... the, the universe doesn't care about that.

    30. TD

      No, right.

  5. 16:0423:09

    Lost civilizations theory: Egyptians, the Sphinx dating debate, and missing history

    1. TD

      And you think that we may have gotten to this point...

    2. JR

      I think we definitely did.

    3. TD

      ... where people were podcasting in ridiculous coats-

    4. JR

      Yes.

    5. TD

      ... and then something comes and ruins it-

    6. JR

      Yeah.

    7. TD

      ... and then it takes billions of years to get back to that.

    8. JR

      Millions.

    9. TD

      Millions to get back-

    10. JR

      Not-

    11. TD

      ... to that.

    12. JR

      Not really millions. I think probably whatever the Egyptians were doing, I think they were the most advanced civilization that ever existed. That's what I think. This is to-... I mean, I'm out of line here for sure. Listen, if you're an archeologist and you're pulling your hair out, I get it. But I don't think we could do what they did. I think if you just look at it for just the sheer dynamics, the volume of stone that they moved, the precision in which they built it, I really don't think we can do that. Just the symmetry of the faces of the statues is unparalleled, and they're immense. These are monstrously huge, perfectly symmetrical faces.

    13. TD

      Right.

    14. JR

      Their, their temples are insanely intricate with 20 t- t- t- 20-ton gigantic stone blocks that were taken from a mountain 500 miles away.

    15. TD

      Right.

    16. JR

      And no one has any idea how the fuck they got over there.

    17. TD

      Nobody has any clue?

    18. JR

      No guesses.

    19. TD

      Right.

    20. JR

      There's some guesses about, oh, maybe the river system was different back then. Whatever.

    21. TD

      Right.

    22. JR

      How are you getting that 50-ton chunk of granite-

    23. TD

      No way.

    24. JR

      ... out of a fucking mountain and moving it down?

    25. TD

      It's insane.

    26. JR

      Even with modern equipment, how are you getting it over the mountain?

    27. TD

      So, it seems like they-

    28. JR

      You don't even have roads. What are you doing?

    29. TD

      They were incredibly advanced.

    30. JR

      Incredibly advanced.

  6. 23:0927:13

    Digital life, metaverse law, and AI-generated news replacing reality

    1. TD

      And every book, like, I'm reading a book now called The Di- Dimensions of a Cave, and it's basically about what will things look like when we are more fully on that digital platform.

    2. JR

      Yeah.

    3. TD

      Like, what constitutes a crime in the digital world?

    4. JR

      Ooh. Ooh.

    5. TD

      What does war look like when everything's digital?

    6. JR

      What happens if-

    7. TD

      Like-

    8. JR

      ... something like Grand Theft Auto, if people get prosecuted for beating people up with bikes?

    9. TD

      Well, this is what ... You know, there's, like, weird, like, ethical questions-

    10. JR

      Yeah.

    11. TD

      ... about, like, when we're living a lot of our lives on these digital platforms.

    12. JR

      Right.

    13. TD

      What is a crime? What is surveillance when everything's surveillance?

    14. JR

      Right.

    15. TD

      Right? What are ... You know, what are the laws? What are the rules? What are the consequences for breaking them? Can you be cast out of that? You know, just like-

    16. JR

      Right.

    17. TD

      ... the way we debate social media. Now imagine it's even more immersive than social media. It's augmented reality, virtual reality, some form of metaverse, whatever it is. Can we, do we cast you out-

    18. JR

      Hmm.

    19. TD

      ... where you can't participate in this thing that everybody else is participating in? And these are interesting questions because people are saying that we'll probably get there quicker than we think.

    20. JR

      Yeah.

    21. TD

      You know, in the, in the space of maybe 10 years or something-... they're, they're looking at these programs and platforms and going, "Oh, there's gonna be a lot..." Like, that's why the AI battle that they had with Hollywood, it, it seems ultimately a losing battle.

    22. JR

      Right.

    23. TD

      Like, it, it, which is, you know, not something that I love, but ultimately it seems like... Look at the trailer for the new GTA, it's pretty amazing.

    24. JR

      Amazing.

    25. TD

      Imagine that even better, you know-

    26. JR

      Yeah.

    27. TD

      ... it seems like there is gonna be a time when we're watching a show of all AI people, and enjoying it, and that's just what it is. And maybe we're even feeling like we're involved or immersed in it.

    28. JR

      Yeah.

    29. TD

      Maybe we're sitting there watching a guy get shot or ran over, or watching a hooker get killed, I don't know, but, you know, there's very possible we could be in the thing.

    30. JR

      Yeah.

  7. 27:1333:16

    Deepfakes, doubles, and secret tech: Biden ears to stealth bombers

    1. JR

      Have you seen the, uh, Biden ear conspiracy?

    2. TD

      No.

    3. JR

      The ear lobe conspiracy?

    4. TD

      But I love it.

    5. JR

      (laughs) This is-

    6. TD

      Already I love it.

    7. JR

      Uh, if you look at old-

    8. TD

      That he did, put something in his ear.

    9. JR

      ... photos of Biden-

    10. TD

      Yeah.

    11. JR

      ... his ear lobe hangs down.

    12. TD

      Ooh.

    13. JR

      As he gets older, his ear lobe is connected, which is impossible.

    14. TD

      That's odd.

    15. JR

      It's impossible. Like, your ear, your ear doesn't change its position unless you get surgery.

    16. TD

      So what do we think?

    17. JR

      I think he had a face lift.

    18. TD

      Oh, definitely.

    19. JR

      100%, right?

    20. TD

      Definitely.

    21. JR

      Which is... By the way, that doesn't work on guys. (laughs)

    22. TD

      Right. No, it doesn't.

    23. JR

      It doesn't make, it doesn't make you look better.

    24. TD

      It doesn't.

    25. JR

      It just makes you look weird.

    26. TD

      Well, Pu-

    27. JR

      Your face is shiny.

    28. TD

      Putin in Russia has different doubles.

    29. JR

      He has body doubles.

    30. TD

      He has body doubles.

  8. 33:1637:51

    Foreign money in US real estate: laundering, empty luxury towers, and shell companies

    1. TD

      So DeSantis, by the way, which I, I, I think this is good, he's basically... And the real estate lobby's fighting him. He went out in Florida, he's like, "We gotta make it harder for Chinese nationals to just buy property here."

    2. JR

      Right.

    3. TD

      And then the real estate lobby's like, "Hey man, you're fucking up a good thing."

    4. JR

      Yeah. For them.

    5. TD

      "We like making money. We like earning commission. We like..." And China's a huge buyer of US real estate. So all these real estate people, the BlackRocks, the, you know, are coming at DeSantis and going, "Hey, we can't have this. You have to let the Chinese play."

    6. JR

      It's real weird. You know, like, they're, they can buy l- property, like a certain amount of property here in areas that are like, "Hey, isn't that kind of close to a military base?" Like isn't-

    7. TD

      Oh, yeah.

    8. JR

      Isn't that close to like-

    9. TD

      Right.

    10. JR

      ... infrastructure? Like what-

    11. TD

      Well, they bought, they bought the Waldorf Astoria Hotel in New York City, which is where the president used to stay every time he went-

    12. JR

      Ah.

    13. TD

      ... to New York. They bought it. Now he stays at the New York Palace.

    14. JR

      Yeah.

    15. TD

      But it was just a fun thing to do. They were like, "Oh, where does the president stay?"

    16. JR

      Let's buy that.

    17. TD

      "We're gonna own that."

    18. JR

      Ah.

    19. TD

      And they own it. And they just flipped it to condos. They don't care. So-

    20. JR

      (laughs)

    21. TD

      The, the thing is, so much of these cities, Miami, New York, LA, even Austin now, a lot of this real estate investment is foreign.

    22. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    23. TD

      People that are laundering money, washing money-

    24. JR

      Yep.

    25. TD

      ... hiding money.

    26. JR

      Yeah.

    27. TD

      And that's why the prices of real estate keep going up no matter what happens. Rates go up to 8%, it's still more money.

    28. JR

      A friend of mine was telling me about this apartment building he lives in in Manhattan.

    29. TD

      Yeah.

    30. JR

      That it's just filled with empty apartments.

  9. 37:5149:55

    Ukraine aid, corruption narratives, and the ‘sports for dorks’ media cycle

    1. TD

      ... he had a budget for extracurricular activities, and where does that come from? It c- it's a slush fund that comes from a lot of shady dealings. This guy had no expertise in energy, he was working at b- he's a consultant for Burisma, a Ukrainian energy company. And now, we've given Ukraine... I don't know what it is, it's an insane amount of money.

    2. JR

      I think the last count was, is it $170 billion dollars? Well, how much money have we given to Ukraine?

    3. TD

      And it's just interesting that that's the country that our president's son was having his little internship.

    4. JR

      It's just a coincidence, dude.

    5. TD

      I know.

    6. JR

      Sometimes coincidences happen.

    7. TD

      But it's, no, we ca- you know what it is? It's like I, I watch the most, the worst people in the world, the people at Beverly Hills who like scream at valets and yell at their nannies, and they're not humanitarians.

    8. JR

      Right.

    9. TD

      Overnight, they all had Ukrainian flags.

    10. JR

      Yeah.

    11. TD

      It's interesting. They don't care about Darfur, the Sudan, anything going on in Africa. They don't care about any of the problems happening in countries like Yemen, but they all immediately decided, almost overnight, that the only humanitarian crisis worth caring about was the Ukraine.

    12. JR

      Well, when baseball season's over-

    13. TD

      (laughs)

    14. JR

      ... we start paying attention to football.

    15. TD

      That's what it is?

    16. JR

      That's what it is.

    17. TD

      That's exactly what it is.

    18. JR

      That's what it is.

    19. TD

      Yeah.

    20. JR

      It's sports for dorks. "Just how much aid has the US sent to Ukraine, um, total $75.4 billion?" I don't think-

    21. TD

      I think there's more.

    22. JR

      ... I think that's-

    23. NA

      I know, I was gonna say more too, but this is a, a few things-

    24. TD

      And you know how much of this aid disappears?

    25. NA

      ... putting this together.

    26. JR

      First of all, isn't it funny that we're saying $75 billion? I think it's more.

    27. TD

      I, w- we're like, "It's nothing."

    28. JR

      Like, that's a low number.

    29. TD

      But how much of this aid disappears off the backs of trucks?

    30. NA

      $113 billion there, but-

  10. 49:5559:39

    From Iraq/Afghanistan disillusionment to Israel–Gaza and TikTok-era war optics

    1. JR

      What do you think changed?

    2. TD

      The Iraq War. I watched it. I saw it. I was a kid. I was in high school. Friends of mine signed up for the military. RIP to some of them. A lot of them survived. Um, people watched soldiers dying every day. They watched, uh, a lot of people get rich. They watched the ten counties outside of Washington, DC become the most valuable places, you know, the biggest, you know, in terms of like net worth. They looked at all these counties around DC and they're like, "Wait, what?" We're not talking about the Hamptons or Manhattan or Malibu or, or the hill country of the Texas or whatever. We're talking about Virginia. And people watched a lot of people get rich, they watched a lot of corruption, they watched a lot of people die. And then what did we get for it? In Iraq, what did we really get? What did we get in Afghanistan? The Taliban's, they're back. They're back. We left 20 years later with nothing. So then people start going, "Okay."

    3. JR

      We didn't just leave. We armed them.

    4. TD

      We armed them and then cowered out.

    5. JR

      Yeah.

    6. TD

      And then like ... So watching that, watching that whole process has, I think, disillusioned a lot of people in my generation. I'm 38 and we're looking at all this shit and we're going like, "Dude, nothing you promised us happened."

    7. JR

      Right.

    8. TD

      We don't feel safer. It doesn't feel like we're safer because we invaded Iraq.

    9. JR

      Have you ever ent- entertained the idea that they left behind all that equipment so that the Taliban could become a threat and they would justify going back in again?

    10. TD

      Oh, of course, it's a circular thing.

    11. JR

      Keep the door open.

    12. TD

      It's a circular thing.

    13. JR

      Leave all options on the table.

    14. TD

      Let's put them on the table. Nikki Haley will be back in there in three months.

    15. JR

      (laughs)

    16. TD

      She'll go in there, she'll go, "Well, the wi- you know, women, you know, and how women are being treated." 'Cause it's always a tug at your heartstrings-

    17. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    18. TD

      ...' 'cause we all agree that we shouldn't throw, most of us, we shouldn't throw gay people off the roof and-

    19. JR

      Right.

    20. TD

      ... we shouldn't stone women. We all agree with that, and that's the things they, they trot out.

    21. JR

      Yeah.

    22. TD

      They go, "You know, the women are being stoned." Meanwhile, they're letting people into America who some of them want to stone women and some of them would throw gay people off the roof. And if you question that, you're a Nazi.

    23. JR

      Do you ever see some of the photos of, uh, Kabul from like the 1970s? When it used to look like-

    24. TD

      Yeah, it was fucking the spot.

    25. JR

      It was amazing.

    26. TD

      It was the spot.

    27. JR

      People would go there all the time. People took-

    28. TD

      Yeah, it was great.

    29. JR

      They would take vacations there.

    30. TD

      Also Iran-

  11. 59:391:39:12

    Trump, prosecutions, Epstein loose ends, and collapsing confidence in institutions

    1. TD

      And he's gonna probably be the president.

    2. JR

      If he's probably... If they don't kill him.

    3. TD

      He's gonna be the pres. It's gonna feel interesting when he's inaugurated 'cause it'll feel like we're living in a loop.

    4. JR

      How far do you think they would go to stop it? 'Cause it's really wild watching him being prosecuted, right?

    5. TD

      Yes.

    6. JR

      It's really wild.

    7. TD

      I know. For inflating the price of a condo, it's the dumbest thing ever.

    8. JR

      It's weird.

    9. TD

      They were like, "He's an asset of Russia." And now they're like... Now it's, it's totally switched-

    10. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    11. TD

      ... to where they're like, "He said it had six bedrooms. It has five." It's like, guys, this wasn't what we were told.

    12. JR

      Right.

    13. TD

      We, we were told he was an asset of Russia и then they switched-

    14. JR

      Yeah.

    15. TD

      ... it up immediately to go, "Oh, he inflated the price of his real estate." By the way, everyone does that. Everyone does that.

    16. JR

      (laughs)

    17. TD

      E- if somebody's appraising your house, you walk up at the end and go, "You saw the basement, right?" That's woodwork that I did. Everyone does that. He does it on a grand scale because he's... has more money and more properties.

    18. JR

      Yeah.

    19. TD

      But the idea that that's what we're getting him for, it's hilarious.

    20. JR

      It's weird.

    21. TD

      It's crazy.

    22. JR

      Because if this keeps going, like, how far will they take it? Like, if he keeps getting bigger иcause it seems like, at least in public perception-... the- the more they come after him, the bigger he gets.

    23. TD

      Yeah.

    24. JR

      'Cause the more people realize the game.

    25. TD

      Right.

    26. JR

      They're like, "Oh my God, this is like banana republic shit." You're prosecuting your political opponents.

    27. TD

      Yes.

    28. JR

      And you're doing it specifically to time the trials around, like, Republican conventions, primaries, all these different... You're doing it on purpose.

    29. TD

      Right.

    30. JR

      It's pretty clear.

Episode duration: 2:29:33

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