Joe Rogan Experience #2087 - Ron White

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast,…

   1. NANarrator0:00

      (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

   2. The Joe Rogan Experience.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:06

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music) Rob White has brought a wandering puppy into the studio and she's tangled in the wires now.

   4. RWRon White0:18

      Yeah. You know what? We can just put her out there. There's a ... They got new puppies out there.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:23

      Yeah.

   6. RWRon White0:23

      Let's just put her outside. There's-

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:24

      That's-

   8. RWRon White0:24

      She doesn't need to be around these wires.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:25

      Let's, let's have her do that and play with the puppy.

   10. RWRon White0:28

       Yeah, she'll do that.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:30

       How old is she, six months?

   12. RWRon White0:31

       Six months.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:32

       She's adorable. What's her name again?

   14. RWRon White0:33

       Maddie.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:34

       Yeah.

   16. RWRon White0:35

       She's, uh, like a rug that shits.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:38

       (laughs)

   18. RWRon White0:38

       She's ... (laughs) That's what she is, man.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:39

       She's a little, adorable little-

   20. RWRon White0:42

       She's a-

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:42

       ... cutie pie.

   22. RWRon White0:43

       ... Golden Doodle. Micro Goldendoodles, what they're calling 'em.

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:46

       Micro Goldendoodles?

   24. RWRon White0:47

       Yeah. So that's about how big she's supposed to be.

   25. JRJoe Rogan0:51

       That's it?

   26. RWRon White0:51

       She's a-

   27. JRJoe Rogan0:51

       That's as big as they get?

   28. RWRon White0:53

       That one's supposed to. I hope so.

   29. JRJoe Rogan0:54

       Isn't that weird?

   30. RWRon White0:55

       I still gotta cram 'em on planes and shit when I would travel.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Efren Reyes. …

   1. RWRon White15:00

      like, an old, kind of chubby, fat Mexican-looking guy and he's like the greatest pool player that ever lived, you know?

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:05

      Efren Reyes.

   3. RWRon White15:06

      Is that who it is?

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:06

      From the Philippines.

   5. RWRon White15:07

      Fuck, man.

   6. JRJoe Rogan15:08

      Yeah.

   7. RWRon White15:09

      I've been watching that guy play a little bit. (laughs)

   8. JRJoe Rogan15:12

      Oh, he's

   9. NANarrator15:12

      Yeah.

   10. RWRon White15:12

       Once it, once it gets on my TikTok, it starts feeding to me, if I know I eat it, you know, the whole, the whole, "Here have another one, have another one." But I liked watching the f- guy play fucking pool.

   11. JRJoe Rogan15:19

       Yeah.

   12. RWRon White15:19

       I mean, like, God, he's got, he's fearless. He's got ice water just pumping through his veins, you know?

   13. JRJoe Rogan15:24

       He's a wizard, man. Like a real wizard. He does things on a pool table that, i- there he is.

   14. RWRon White15:30

       Yeah, that guy right there. Tha- that guy's all over my TikTok feed now. I can't get him off.

   15. JRJoe Rogan15:35

       He does things on a pool table that are, like, magical.

   16. RWRon White15:38

       How old is he?

   17. JRJoe Rogan15:39

       Well, he's older now. You know, he's probably in his late s- yeah, like, 69 it says.

   18. RWRon White15:45

       And he still-

   19. JRJoe Rogan15:46

       And that's old for a pool player.

   20. RWRon White15:47

       ... still plays?

   21. JRJoe Rogan15:47

       He still plays all the time. There's, they s- live stream videos of him playing people-

   22. RWRon White15:51

       Yeah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan15:51

       ... down in the Philippines.

   24. RWRon White15:52

       That's what I'm, that's what I'm getting, I think. On my PlayStation 3.

   25. JRJoe Rogan15:53

       Yeah. So they have these setups like, Efren Reyes is, you know, r- really arguably the greatest pool player in the history of pool players and he's now still playing all the time online. And he plays online and he's not as good as he was when he was in his prime because he's, you know, he's 69 years old. It's a young man's game.

   26. RWRon White16:13

       (laughs) Look at that.

   27. JRJoe Rogan16:15

       Yeah. It really-

   28. RWRon White16:15

       I know I played pool my whole life. We had a pool table at my house when I was a kid and, uh, so, so I, I always like watching, you know, trick players and people that could, uh, you know, run, run the table and do-

   29. JRJoe Rogan16:27

       Yeah.

   30. RWRon White16:27

       ... weird shots and stuff like that.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   (sighs) …

   1. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      you could sneak in some real conspiracies in that otherwise people-

   2. RWRon White30:04

      (sighs)

   3. JRJoe Rogan30:04

      ... would think, "Well, that's outrageous." That kind of corruption would be uncovered.

   4. RWRon White30:07

      Right.

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:08

      That kind of corruption would be prosecuted. And you're like, "Wait, no one's going to... anybody's getting busted for this? This is-"

   6. RWRon White30:13

      Right.

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:14

      "What?"

   8. RWRon White30:15

      Right, and nobody is.

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:16

      And no one's getting investigated?

   10. RWRon White30:16

       Right. So it's not really happening, you know?

   11. JRJoe Rogan30:19

       It's bananas.

   12. RWRon White30:19

       But, and, and also people want to, uh ... You know, and I, I know because somebody that has no formal education, right? I don't have any formal education. I didn't make it through high school. Uh, my, my favorite joke that I ever wrote was, "I do have a GED, and if you don't know what GED stands for, you've probably got one too."

   13. JRJoe Rogan30:36

       (laughs)

   14. RWRon White30:36

       And, uh, (laughs) that's one of my favorite jokes. But, um, you know, they, they, they would love to have the answer to a question. You know, they would love to be able to make a point of some kind, you know? They would love to, but they can't, 'cause they're ... You know, they're just sitting around watching other people do it and, "Well, I wish, I wish I could think of something to say and I, I can't think of anything." Well, if there's somebody feeding them something to say, now they get real loud about it-

   15. JRJoe Rogan30:59

       Right.

   16. RWRon White30:59

       ... because they have a point to make, even though they don't understand it at all. They just know how to sound like they're making a point, like-

   17. JRJoe Rogan31:05

       Yeah.

   18. RWRon White31:05

       ... Lauren Boebert or, you know, or Marjorie Taylor Greene or whoever. Uh, uh, uh, they ... That's who they were, and now they feel like they can make a point so they're being real fucking loud about it. And, and, but if you've actually been around a while, you just sit around and shake your head and go, "You're a goddamn idiot." But all you gotta do is be the smartest person in your region and boom, you're in Congress, you know?

   19. JRJoe Rogan31:28

       (laughs)

   20. RWRon White31:28

       They think she's smart as fuck down there in that one little section of Georgia-

   21. JRJoe Rogan31:32

       (laughs)

   22. RWRon White31:32

       ... where Marjorie Taylor is out of.

   23. JRJoe Rogan31:35

       It's ... The problem with it is, like how many people do you know want to run the government? How many people do you know? How many, I mean, how many people that you know that are like really healthy, clear-thinking, business-minded people that have been successful that wanna run the government?

   24. RWRon White31:55

       Nobody.

   25. JRJoe Rogan31:55

       Fucking nobody.

   26. RWRon White31:56

       Nobody.

   27. JRJoe Rogan31:57

       So you're not getting any of those folks.

   28. RWRon White31:59

       No, you're not. And what you're gonna get is, you're gonna get their money to influence things in the direction they'd like to see it go without them having to be there doing day-to-day stuff on it.

   29. JRJoe Rogan32:09

       But-

   30. RWRon White32:09

       So they can have influence on it, but they don't wanna ... They don't ... Do they wanna be the (laughs) president of the United States? No.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Right. Or at least…

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      Religions have to be old as fuck so they might be true. (laughs)

   2. RWRon White45:03

      Right. Or at least have some kinda connection to some really-

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:06

      Yeah.

   4. RWRon White45:07

      ... ancient text.

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:08

      Yeah. Or, or this, you know, the Scientology one they just threatened to sue. That was a genius move. What they did was amazing. They, they threatened thousands of lawsuits. Everyone was gonna file a lawsuit.

   6. RWRon White45:20

      They're all lawyers. And the same with those-

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:22

      (laughs)

   8. RWRon White45:22

      ... fuckin' Latter-day Saints guys. Tho- those are, you got a bunch of lawyers.

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:26

      You gotta give it up to 'em. I mean, that's pretty ba-

   10. RWRon White45:29

       Yeah.

   11. JRJoe Rogan45:29

       ... pretty ballsy.

   12. RWRon White45:30

       Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan45:30

       And it worked.

   14. RWRon White45:31

       And, and, and you're selling a, something that's not easy to sell. You know, they gotta, that story, I mean-

   15. JRJoe Rogan45:37

       (laughs)

   16. RWRon White45:37

       ... none of it is. You know, the, the, the stories I believed... Well, that's why I, I wrote that beautiful joke that didn't work the other day. And, uh, about the Christians and the lions-

   17. JRJoe Rogan45:47

       Oh, yeah, yeah.

   18. RWRon White45:48

       ... and the, and the... Oh, let me break that down for your listeners.

   19. JRJoe Rogan45:50

       (laughs)

   20. RWRon White45:50

       The, uh, the, I'm, 'cause I'm writing, apparently I'm writing my worst stuff right now-

   21. JRJoe Rogan45:54

       (laughs)

   22. RWRon White45:54

       ... 'cause I, now I can write stuff that nobody will laugh at. Out of 250 people, 250 people don't laugh.

   23. JRJoe Rogan45:59

       Ah, j- sh-

   24. RWRon White46:00

       And, uh, but when I was a kid, I was raised in the Baptist Church. Uncle Charlie, my preacher when I was little. And, uh, so, but there was a storybook, wasn't the Bible, but it was just something we got in Sunday school and it depicted Christians being fed to the lions. Which always stuck in my craw that that was a big story, a big deal. I mean, you know, I don't, I know we've all been oppressed, but feeding 'em to the lions, that's pretty big deal. And I really thought it was universal knowledge. So when they were looking for a new name for the Washington Commanders, I suggested the Christians because when, and, and, and I thought about this joke for three days. And I thought about the buildup of laughter it was gonna get, it was gonna work-

   25. JRJoe Rogan46:37

       'Cause like, that shit-

   26. RWRon White46:37

       ... so well and they were gonna end up changing the name of the comedy club to Ron White's-

   27. JRJoe Rogan46:40

       (laughs)

   28. RWRon White46:40

       ... Mothership because of this one joke and how well it worked. But the way that it was gonna start, the rumble was gonna start, it was like, uh, when, when Detroit comes to town, they're gonna make the connections of Detroit, lions, lions, Christians, my storybook from my (laughs) childhood. And that's w- that's the rumble of the really hip laughter. And, 'cause when the lions get back to the... That's the next laugh was gonna be. Uh, when the lions meet the Christians on a pl- even playing field, we're, you know... So, none of it got a laugh. None of it, none of it worked. And they were staring at me. And there was a good crowd, too. They were waiting for the next funny thing that I said. And, uh, and that was it. And I really was expecting it and it just, I was never been so wrong about a, a joke-

   29. JRJoe Rogan47:22

       Do you think you're just old enough to where you're like over that curve where the Christians and the lions were more recent than they were?

   30. RWRon White47:31

       Yeah, I just don't think everybody got that storybook.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:05:52

   Now, aren't... Am I…

   1. RWRon White1:00:00

      away.

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      Now, aren't... Am I thinking of the same kind of cat? Like, which ones are the one... Which ones are Bengals?

   3. RWRon White1:00:04

      It's a horrible idea. It's-

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:00:06

      There's some of them that are... They're basically like a wild cat. Like-

   5. RWRon White1:00:09

      Yeah, well, they're not very many generations removed, I think-

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:00:12

      Yeah.

   7. RWRon White1:00:12

      ... is the problem. And I think they're perfectly good cats, but they're really big and they're really a lot of energy.

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:00:18

      I thought, I think I-

   9. RWRon White1:00:18

      And they're kind of different 'cause you can take them out on a leash and stuff. My mother doesn't want to do that. She... I'm like, "Get a Yorkie-"

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:00:23

       Take them out on a leash? What?

   11. RWRon White1:00:24

       "... or something. A little lap dog." She wants a big...

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:00:27

       Like am I, am I fucking this up? Is it like, is it the same thing? Is a Bengal the same thing as those other ones that, like-

   13. NANarrator1:00:32

       A serval cat.

   14. RWRon White1:00:32

       No, I think they're called Bengal kittens-

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:00:34

       Serval.

   16. RWRon White1:00:34

       ... you know? They...

   17. NANarrator1:00:35

       Yeah, they're not.

   18. RWRon White1:00:35

       Yeah, that's it right there.

   19. NANarrator1:00:36

       That's just a regular Bengal cat.

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:00:39

       Okay.

   21. RWRon White1:00:39

       Yeah, so they're cool looking.

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:00:40

       So that's a regular cat. So I'm thinking of that. I'm thinking of the-

   23. RWRon White1:00:43

       Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:00:43

       ... serval.

   25. RWRon White1:00:44

       Oh, yeah, no.

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:00:45

       Okay. So what is... A Bengal cat's just a cat, right? Is that just a cat?

   27. RWRon White1:00:49

       Yeah, yeah, but it comes from the Bengal tiger.And, uh, they, you know, they're just a handful. You know?

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:00:55

       Oh.

   29. RWRon White1:00:55

       It's not like a big old floppy lap cat. These cats, you know, they kill... They're big time killers. They gotta be involved in stuff. They got a lot of energy. They're big and strong. So they're up to like, you know, 15, 20 pounds I think. 100 some of them.

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:01:09

       Look at the description. The Bengal cat is a domesticated cat breed created from a hybrid of the Asian leopard cat, with domestic cats, especially the spotted Egyptian Mau. Mm-hmm.

Episode duration: 3:03:28