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The Joe Rogan ExperienceThe Joe Rogan Experience

Joe Rogan Experience #2089 - Joey Diaz

Joey Diaz is a stand-up comic, writer, and author. He's the host of the podcast "Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz," co-host of "The Check-In" with Lee Syatt, and author of "Tremendous: The Life of a Comedy Savage." www.joeydiaz.net Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Joey DiazguestJoe RoganhostGuest (unidentified, short contribution)guest
Jun 27, 20242h 48mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

  1. 0:00 – 2:28

    Glasses, eye health supplements, and red-light therapy for vision

    1. NA

      (drumming music) Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out.

    2. The Joe Rogan Experience.

    3. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music)

    4. JD

      I didn't bring my motherfucking glasses though.

    5. JR

      Oh, do you need some?

    6. JD

      Yeah.

    7. JR

      I have some.

    8. JD

      Just in case, if you're gonna show me something interesting.

    9. JR

      Yeah.

    10. JD

      Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir.

    11. JR

      So I started doing this, uh, red light bed. I started doing two things to help my eyes. One, I started taking Pure Encapsulations. They have this, um ... What is it called? Macro support? What is it called? Anyway, it's a bunch of supplements that they put together, um, to stop your eyesight from going bad and it's legit.

    12. NA

      Macular Support?

    13. JR

      Macular Support. That's it.

    14. JD

      You like it? Oh.

    15. JR

      Legit. It stopped ... Whatever the deterioration that I was experiencing, where my eyesight was starting to go, it stopped. Just stopped it, and it made it a little bit better, and then I started doing this red light bed. So I had this guy Gary Brecka on the podcast. He's explained to me how red light, um, revitalizes your capillaries and helps your vision come back. And so I've been doing that now for about six weeks and I've noticed an, an improvement. Like I don't need reading glasses as much if I'm reading things on my phone. I can read some things that I just was not gonna be able to read. And more importantly, it's not getting worse, 'cause like it was like kinda every six months, eight months or so, I'd notice my ... God, my eyes are worse. Like this is terrible. Like after like 46 it seemed like, somewhere around 46 it was like it dropped off a cliff.

    16. JD

      And you did the right thing because you didn't submit to these. My mistake was to submit to these when I was like 43, 44.

    17. JR

      Mm.

    18. JD

      By 44 I could see I was having problems already and I submitted to these, and this is worse for you. That's why I used to tell you-

    19. JR

      Glasses.

    20. JD

      ... don't put the glasses on.

    21. JR

      Yeah.

    22. JD

      Hold on.

    23. JR

      Yeah.

    24. JD

      Make your eyes muscle that thing. It's like when you wear fucking hearing aids.

    25. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    26. JD

      Like, your hearing gets lost. I-

    27. JR

      Well, they say with, with vision, like the problem is we're looking at things that are real close up all the time and your, your eyes are supposed to do a bunch of different things. They're supposed to look at stuff in the distance, they're supposed to look at things up close, and if you don't look at things in the distance all the time, you lose that ability.

    28. JD

      Well, I'm gonna be as honest as I can with you. I'm not trying to be cute here.

    29. JR

      Okay.

  2. 2:28 – 3:29

    Cocaine, fentanyl risk, and the modern reality of ‘snorting anything’

    1. JD

      I lost my eyesight when I stopped doing coke, 'cause when I was doing coke, my eyesight was on point, Joe.

    2. JR

      (laughs)

    3. JD

      I could see a light from fucking two miles away. That light's green. We gotta make it.

    4. JR

      Uh ... Uh ...

    5. JD

      Once I stopped doing coke-

    6. JR

      (laughs)

    7. JD

      ... my eyesight went zhip right into the fucking shitter. So when I was snorting, I had 20/20 vision.

    8. JR

      (laughs)

    9. JD

      I could see coke rocks in the carpet and shit. Now I can't see shit if there's a coke rock on the fucking floor.

    10. JR

      So what ... I guess it's blood flow. If you think about it, blood flow to the brain. I mean, doesn't coke give you like a crazy amount of blood flow to your brain? I mean, I mean, it must. It's a stimulant, right?

    11. JD

      I have no idea. (laughs) I have no idea where the blood goes, but-

    12. JR

      Joe, thank God I never got into that.

    13. JD

      No.

    14. JR

      Thank God I never got into that.

    15. JD

      And especially now.

    16. JR

      Yeah. Oh.

    17. JD

      Like now I see these people that are snorting anything.

    18. JR

      Yeah.

    19. JD

      To snort anything today, you gotta be fucking crazy.

    20. JR

      Yeah. You could die easy.

    21. JD

      Heroin ... These people who put the fucking test. Like if you go to a bar in New York, they have tests.

    22. JR

      Yeah. They check you for fentanyl.

    23. JD

      That you go in the bathroom and ... Ah, what? Are you fucking kidding me?

    24. JR

      You have to if you don't wanna die.

    25. JD

      Once you touch cocaine, it's time to do something different.

    26. JR

      (laughs)

    27. JD

      If you're gonna test your coke, it's time to do something different. You gotta fucking ...

  3. 3:29 – 7:37

    Ketamine stories: K-holes, comedy shows, and a terrifying drive home

    1. JR

      You know what's going on here? Ketamine. Everybody's doing ketamine. They do nasal sprays. We had some lady go into a K-hole in the middle of our comedy show. (laughs) She's fucking falling down like this and they, they, they brought in the Narcan and shit. They were worried that she had, uh, overdosed and, uh, her wife was like, "No, no, no. She's just been doing ketamine. She just did too much." (laughs)

    2. JD

      You know, I did a couple lines of that one time at the podcast studio.

    3. JR

      Yeah.

    4. JD

      And it was okay. I did the podcast, but whoever gave me the ketamine left like a pile of it on the desk, you know, after we did a couple lines. So he left and me and Lee were talking and I go, "Lee, what are we gonna do with this fucking thing?"

    5. JR

      (laughs)

    6. JD

      And he goes, "I don't know. Throw it away." I go, "Fuck that." It was about 8:30, 9:00 at night. I had done three lines maybe and I was buzzed, but it didn't take me over the top. I did those. Now, I lived six minutes from the podcast studio in LA. When I got to the first light to make the left, I knew it was not gonna be a good drive home.

    7. JR

      (laughs)

    8. JD

      It was not gonna be a good drive home. Okay? I had done too much. And then I got home, and when I put my foot out of the car, that was it. It was lights out after that. And I'm like, "I am fucked up." I'm-

    9. JR

      What do you mean like lights out? Like in what way?

    10. JD

      Like I was fucked up. I don't know what was going on.

    11. JR

      It's a different kind of fucked up, right?

    12. JD

      It's a different type of fucked up. And then I went in the house and goddamn it, my wife is awake.

    13. JR

      Oh, no.

    14. JD

      Now I gotta talk to her.

    15. JR

      (laughs)

    16. JD

      So I ran in my office and I'm in there 15 minutes getting higher and higher.

    17. JR

      Oh, no.

    18. JD

      And shit, my body's feeling weird and I go, "I better go out there before she comes in here."

    19. JR

      Right.

    20. JD

      And she was watching True-

    21. JR

      True Crimes?

    22. JD

      Detective, whatever the... on HBO.

    23. JR

      Oh. Oh, okay.

    24. JD

      And it was the dude from The Green Book and the other guy.

    25. JR

      The Green Book?

    26. JD

      The brother. The, the guy who won the ... He was in the mo- book The Green Book with the guy who drove him in the South, he played the piano player. Anyway, it doesn't matter.

    27. JR

      Doesn't ...

    28. JD

      So (laughs) you never saw The Green Book?

    29. JR

      I don't think I saw The Green Book.

    30. JD

      That's a good fucking movie.

  4. 7:37 – 11:07

    Edibles, anxiety, and high-dose THC as a mental-health risk

    1. JD

      You know, for three years I cried about this anxiety, anxiety, I can't take it.

    2. JR

      Yeah.

    3. JD

      Fucking I don't do edibles now.

    4. JR

      Is that what it is?

    5. JD

      Monday nights.

    6. JR

      So it was the edibles that was giving you the anxiety?

    7. JD

      You said it yourself, you can't live on a 2,000 milligrams a goddamn day.

    8. JR

      Yeah.

    9. JD

      Something's gotta fall apart eventually.

    10. JR

      Yeah.

    11. JD

      You know, that was kicking it up and then, uh-

    12. JR

      I would get... Anytime I would get above 200 milligrams, the whole world was just like very slippery, very slippery. I was like, "This is like..." I could see how edibles could get someone to legitimately lose their mind. That's why when I was talking to Alex Berenson, he wrote that book, Tell Your Children, it's all about schizophrenia and about how, uh, there are people that get introduced to high doses of marijuana and it induces schizophrenia. We know people, we both know a couple of people that have had that happen to. I'm like, th- g- this is real. And I think marijuana is very beneficial in low to moderate doses, but you get above certain doses with certain psychologies, certain people, certain times of their life, you know, certain things they're going through.

    13. JD

      You never know.

    14. JR

      You could fucking crack.

    15. JD

      You never know.

    16. JR

      You could... Yeah.

    17. JD

      And I can tell you that. That's the truth.

    18. JR

      Yeah.

    19. JD

      That's the truth, 'cause at times, you know...

    20. JR

      It gets... Marijuana at the high doses is not what people think it is. It ge- it gets to that very psychedelic place where it's like this might as well be acid. Like the real high doses, there was some time where, uh, Eddie Bravo had these, uh, THC pills. One of his students had made his own pills-

    21. JD

      (laughs)

    22. JR

      ... had like turned kief into pills. I forget how many we took but I was talking to this one dude and like I might as well have been in another dimension. Like my relationship to reality was very slippery. I was like, if I was losing my mind right now or if I wasn't in a good place in my life, my, m- you know, life was falling apart, maybe you're, you know, getting fired, your house is repossessed, going through a divor- maybe you have cancer, who knows, whatever it is, and then you get that dose, it could send you over the top.

    23. JD

      Bro, I had a guy come over from jujitsu one day. We were just hanging out and he goes, "I want to do a bong hit with you." I gave him two bong hits of what I smoke. He puked in my yard.

    24. JR

      (laughs)

    25. JD

      He was like, "I don't know how you do this every day."

    26. JR

      (laughs)

    27. JD

      "Two fucking bong hits and you're gonna light 'em up?"

    28. JR

      Well, yeah. Well, it's also like when someone, uh, runs marathons. You try to run a marathon with them. I don't know how you run a marathon. Well, you fucking, you got to build up to it. You're building up to that too. It's all building up, you know?

    29. JD

      This new weed that's coming out now, these... people aren't ready for it.

    30. JR

      It's too strong.

  5. 11:07 – 12:41

    Alcohol vs. weed for recovery, and what wearables reveal

    1. JR

      And it doesn't kill your body.

    2. JD

      (coughs) And it doesn't kill you.

    3. JR

      It doesn't kill your body, that's the big one. For me, like when I was doing jujitsu every day, if I was, uh, getting high and doing jujitsu, it, it actually made my jujitsu better. Like I felt like my jujitsu was more smooth. I was more focused. But I never felt wrecked the next day. But if I drank the night before and then tried to go into class the next day, I always felt like 30% less. I was like, "This is terrible." I was like, "I got to stop drinking." 'Cause every time I would go out drinking and then I'd go into class, I'd, I'd just get manhandled. I'd just get wrecked, just couldn't, couldn't keep up. And when you're-

    4. JD

      I don't know.

    5. JR

      ... hungover, it's the worst feeling.

    6. JD

      It's the worst feeling. Yeah.

    7. JR

      What have I done to myself for just a few hours of fun?

    8. JD

      You know, it's really crazy that we don't really know what alcohol does to our bodies, but it's not good, you know? But it's like-

    9. JR

      You know how you find out?

    10. JD

      How?

    11. JR

      Get one of those Oura Rings. Get a Oura Ring or a WHOOP strap, one of those WHOOP straps, you-

    12. JD

      I got one.

    13. JR

      Yeah, okay. Check your WHOOP strap. Have a couple of cocktails-

    14. JD

      Oh.

    15. JR

      ... and then check your WHOOP strap. It's crazy, like, "Oh, I had-"

    16. JD

      It's crazy.

    17. JR

      "... two drinks, two glasses of wine." Your recovery will be way down.... the whoop strap is very beneficial for that because it, it tracks your heart rate variability and it gives you, like, a real accurate assessment of what happens when you fuck around with things. 'Cause if you just do something different, like, "I just cut out sugar. Oh, whoa, look at how much better my recovery is." You know, "Oh, I stopped drinking alcohol. Whoa. Recovery's through the roof. I c- committed to drinking X amount of liters of water every day. Whoa, look at all this recovery. Look, my body's functioning better." You know? It's, like, it gives you real feedback.

  6. 12:41 – 14:22

    Sleep upgrades: naps, sauna/cold routines, and building better habits

    1. JD

      Well, I was telling your buddy that when I got the whoop, it was for recovery purposes. I don't like being that fucking sore, you know what I'm saying? So I wanna know where I am throughout the day.

    2. JR

      Right.

    3. JD

      I got the whoop, and I gotta be honest with you. You know what improved the best?

    4. JR

      What?

    5. JD

      My sleep.

    6. JR

      Mm.

    7. JD

      'Cause when I got the whoop, we all think we sleep eight hours.

    8. JR

      Right.

    9. JD

      Everybody thinks they sleep fucking eight hours. Get the fucking whoop and get back to me.

    10. JR

      Yeah.

    11. JD

      You'll see that you're sleeping 5:45-

    12. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    13. JD

      ... 6:10-

    14. JR

      Yeah.

    15. JD

      ... and you're like, "This ain't working." So I started doing things to help my sleep. Joe, do you know I sleep eight now? And at 4:00, 5:00, I gotta go down for an hour every day.

    16. JR

      Take a nap?

    17. JD

      You know when I took... I never took a fucking nap, since you known me. Take a nap.

    18. JR

      Mm.

    19. JD

      One hour. Get up, I feel tip-top Magoo-

    20. JR

      Mm.

    21. JD

      ... and that's when I start smoking weed and having a good time.

    22. JR

      Yeah, I'm, uh... I can function on five. I do well on six. When I'm doing eight-plus, I'm at my best. I know the difference. Like, there's days that I come in here where maybe I had a late show, got out of the club late, and then maybe I had to take the kids to school in the morning or maybe I had an appointment or maybe I had something I had to do, so I had to get up early, so I only got, like, five or six. I can function, but I'm... In my mind, I'm like, "That's a check I have to pay. That's a bill I have to pay." So I have to make sure tonight I get, like, 10 or 11. Tonight, I really wanna get, get some serious sleep. No booze.

    23. JD

      (coughs)

    24. JR

      Hit the sauna, hit the cold, get, get my body prepped. Sauna and a cold plunge before you go to bed? Oh my God, you sleep like-

    25. JD

      Really?

    26. JR

      ... a baby. You sleep like a baby. You sleep so good. Yeah.

  7. 14:22 – 20:23

    Sauna obsession, red-light sauna workouts, and the cryo vs. cold plunge debate

    1. JD

      I haven't worked myself up to the cold plunge yet, but I do the red light-

    2. JR

      Do it right now.

    3. JD

      ... sauna twice a week. No, fuck that.

    4. JR

      You could do it right now.

    5. JD

      Fuck that.

    6. JR

      Red light sauna's great. I think any sauna's great. Even a hot bath is great. The whole idea is just warming your body up, just getting your body so it's uncomfortable. But, uh, the real studies are on the regular sauna. Uh, we got a, a Salus sauna. I have that for here and that for my house. They're the shit, man. That's, that's... It's, the one we have here is so nice. It's set up, it's all Bluetoothed. You set it up off your phone, like, so you're on their way to the gym. If we're on the way to the gym, set the sauna to 190. Get here-

    7. JD

      Come on in. Yeah, it's ready to go.

    8. JR

      Takes a while, takes a while to cook. But then, you know, you're sitting in that thing and if you do that on a regular basis, it gets... You get used to it. You get used to being uncomfortable, but God damn, you feel good. Like, your joints feel good. All the stiffness kind of feels like it goes away. Your mood feels better. You sleep better. Sauna's the motherfu-... If I had to pick one over the two, I don't know which one I'd pick, but I love the fact that I could do both of them. I think sauna I would pick 'cause there's more data. There's, there's a 20-year study out of Finland with sauna patients where they, um, they used the sauna four times a week for 20 years. And the, uh, depending about how many times a week they used it, they saw more improvement. But the people that used it four times a week saw a f-... I think it was a 40% decrease in all-cause mortality. A 40% decrease. Stroke, heart attack, cancer for the people that did that as opposed to the people that didn't do it.

    9. JD

      Well, your girl told me that if you do f-

    10. JR

      Rhonda?

    11. JD

      Yeah. I love her.

    12. JR

      Oh, she's the best.

    13. JD

      You know I love her.

    14. JR

      I love her too.

    15. JD

      Like, I watch-

    16. JR

      Shout out to Rhonda Patrick.

    17. JD

      I watch every video. I take what she tells me-

    18. JR

      Yeah.

    19. JD

      ... to heart. And I think she's so fucking sexy.

    20. JR

      (laughs)

    21. JD

      'Cause she's so fucking smart when she ta-... When she just goes on a tan, like (gasps) .

    22. JR

      (laughs)

    23. JD

      She's so fucking sexy.

    24. JR

      She's a genius.

    25. JD

      But she was saying that 51, 61 minutes a week in the sauna cuts your, uh, cardiac arrest rate by, like-

    26. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    27. JD

      ... fucking 60% or some shit.

    28. JR

      Well, I'll tell you what else it does, Jo- Joey. It makes your cardio better. Like, your cardio from working out, just sitting there, your heart rate gets jacked. So it's like a static form of cardio.

    29. JD

      When, before I go to the Tuesday and Thursday jujitsu, I go to the red light sauna.

    30. JR

      Mm.

  8. 20:23 – 22:29

    Cold therapy origins and combat sports: Fedor, banyas, and sauna culture

    1. JD

      Japanese people invented cryotherapy, correct?

    2. JR

      They did?

    3. JD

      Uh, can we find out? Can... Fact check me, you know?

    4. JR

      I think, uh, I would like to know. I mean, I think the Vikings did it. It was a thing they did, like, just to boost their manliness, just get in the fucking cold water.

    5. GC

      Well, technically, Joey's right.

    6. JR

      Oh, okay.

    7. GC

      Developed in 1970s by a Japanese rheumatologist, Toshima Yamaguchi.

    8. JR

      Uh-

    9. GC

      But that would be, like, the actual cryotherapy that we did, like, in LA, like, the-

    10. JR

      Okay.

    11. GC

      ... with the liquid nitrogen and stuff.

    12. JR

      Like, the c- cold, liquid nitrogen? Yeah.

    13. JD

      Yeah.

    14. JR

      Okay.

    15. JD

      Now-

    16. JR

      Mmm. But, but the Vikings were doing cold therapy-

    17. GC

      Right, right, right. They did that.

    18. JR

      ... thousands of years ago.

    19. GC

      I don't think they had liquid nitrogen.

    20. JD

      But the guy that invented this-

    21. JR

      No, it was a plunge.

    22. JD

      ... the people, it was Japanese people. And again, these motherfuckers like to party.

    23. JR

      Yeah.

    24. JD

      So as soon as I walked out of there (laughs) , that's what I said to myself, "Absolutely a Japanese guy invented this."

    25. JR

      Look at this, goes back to the ancient civilizations. Ancient Egyptians, Romans, and early Greeks were using cold temperatures as a form of therapy as early as 2,500 BC. Whoa. When I used to see Fedor do it (clears throat) , Fedor Emelianenko, o- one of the all-time greats, he used to do the banya. So they would all get in the sauna together and they would, like, beat them with leaves. They would use leaves and beat them and then they would jump in this frozen lake. And I went like, "These guys are just insane. There's no ben-..." I'm going, "What's the bene- what's the benefit of that?" I would think it was nonsense. But they knew. They knew, you know... And this was the early 2000s. People hadn't, weren't doing cold plunges in saunas. If they were, it wasn't, like, openly discussed like it is now. You know?

    26. JD

      We have-

    27. JR

      Like Dan- Dan Gable found out about it. He was telling me on the podcast. He found out about it when he was Russ- uh, wrestling the, uh, Russians and the Eastern Europeans. He's like, "They all use sauna." And he, he realized, like, there's something to the, the actual, uh, the, the benefits for your cardio, recovery, blood cells. He said it's almost like a mild version of EPO when you take... when you're in the sauna on a regular basis. It just really boosts up your endurance. Here's Fedor. Damn, when he was young, he was the motherfucker, dude. And what a dad bod that guy had. (laughs)

    28. JD

      (laughs) It's dead.

  9. 22:29 – 28:41

    MMA greatness: Anderson Silva’s prime, old betting lines, and iconic fights

    1. JR

      There's not a single photo of him out there with a six-pack. And he's widely regarded as the greatest heavyweight of all time. I mean, he might be the greatest martial artist of all time. He's certainly in the argument. The arguments for the greatest martial arts of all time, if, like, they're in their prime. I always say this guy because people leave him out of the conversation, you never should, BJ Penn. BJ Penn, in his prime, was one of the greatest I've ever seen. And then there's Anderson, Anderson in his prime. I was just watching the Anderson documentary that the UFC just put together. Holy shit, man, you forget. (clears throat) You forget. You forget those Rich Franklin fights.

    2. JD

      I never forgot them.

    3. JR

      You forget. But you, but you forget the level of expertise and precision and just mastery he had when he was in his prime. I am telling you, I'm guilty. Even though I'm a giant Anderson fan, I had to see it again. I had to see it again. I'm like, "Oh, yeah, people forgot."

    4. JD

      Well, we had a conversation after the Adesanya fight. You're like, "Adesanya was the best." And I go, "Remember I said to you, 'Bro-

    5. JR

      Yeah.

    6. JD

      ... relax.'?"

    7. JR

      No, you're right.

    8. JD

      It's Anderson. And I, I love-

    9. JR

      Anderson, Anderson's prime.

    10. JD

      ... the Rich Franklin fight. I mean, the first time I ever saw this motherfucker, I'm about... I'm getting dressed. I'm getting dressed, ready to go do comedy-

    11. JR

      Yeah.

    12. JD

      ... with you or anybody else. And it was a UFC fight night with him against Chris Leben.

    13. JR

      Yeah.

    14. JD

      I never saw this fucking guy. I heard you guys talking about him.

    15. JR

      Yeah.

    16. JD

      And when he came out, it was fucking mastery. I was, like, blown. Then he played the ukulele. I'll never forget that.

    17. JR

      Dance. Well, I ru- ... I was a giant fan of Anderson's already, 'cause I became a fan of Anderson's in Pride and then Anderson went over to Cage Warriors and when he went over to the... Was it Cage Rage? What, what was the organization that he fought for, that Anderson fought for in England? But in England, he came, he became Anderson Silva. You know, there's, there's a, there's... Like Charles Oliveira, Charles Oliveira was a really good fighter and then his daughter was born and then he became Charles Oliveira, the assassin that everybody knows. But he lost a bunch of times in the UFC.

    18. JD

      Yes. We went through... Yeah.

    19. JR

      He just, he would fall apart.Anderson when he went to England. There's something about leaving Japan and going to England, then he became Anderson. So what was the ... Cage Rage, right. Cage Warriors is the, the, the, that's like the top organization that exists now in, um, in the UK. So he fights, uh, Lee Murray in Cage Rage, and Lee Murray was a fucking killer. Lee Murray was the guy who was involved in the biggest armed robbery in the history of the UK. H- He's in jail now, like forever.

    20. JD

      Oh, I've heard about him. Yeah, yeah. I didn't know. I've never seen it.

    21. JR

      A real gangster.

    22. JD

      (coughs) Oh.

    23. JR

      Crazy dude.

    24. JD

      Really? Okay.

    25. JR

      So he fucks Lee Murray up in Cage Rage, and then he comes back and fucks Jorge Rivera up in Cage Rage. And when he fucked Hor- Jorge Rivera, but he's standing in front of Jorge, who was a murderous puncher, and letting Jorge punch him in the face. He was just letting him punch him in the face. Just like, "But you ain't got shit." And then beat his ass. Then he goes over and fights Tony Fryklund in Cage Rage and hits him with that crazy upward elbow. Did you ever see that?

    26. JD

      Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

    27. JR

      So he fought Curtis Stoudt, fucked him up, fucked Tony Fryklund up, and then by the time he was coming to the UFC, I was like, "Dude, get ready for this guy." And I was looking at the line, like the betting line. The betting lines back then were stealing.

    28. JD

      Sure.

    29. JR

      Nobody knew-

    30. JD

      Nobody knew nothing.

  10. 28:41 – 31:05

    Shaq memories and early UFC days: tiny crowds to massive mainstream fame

    1. JD

      'Cause I'd watch ... Listen, bro, I watched the UFC with you. There was a bunch of chubby guys that looked like me. I don't want no part of that stuff. You took me to Florida one time to see, uh, Miami when there was like maybe 15 people in the audience.

    2. JR

      (laughs)

    3. JD

      Shaq was there. Do you remember that?

    4. JR

      It was a long time ago. Yeah, that was the early days.

    5. JD

      That was 2-4. That was 2004.

    6. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    7. JD

      Because that was around the time of The Mad Show.

    8. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    9. JD

      And it was ... Butterbean was one of the fighters on that card?

    10. JR

      No, Butterbean never fought in the UFC.

    11. JD

      Who was the chubby guy that fought on that card?

    12. JR

      (inhales deeply)

    13. JD

      There was somebody who was on that card that was like ...

    14. JR

      Trey Tellement. No, Trey Tel- ... No, uh, Scott Fairoza was really big. Trey Tellement was a guy who was missing part of his pack.

    15. JD

      But Shaq was there.

    16. JR

      He was the two guys that Vitor fought in his debut. But that was earlier than that, that was '97.

    17. JD

      That was, Shaq was there.

    18. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    19. JD

      I remember he was already in Miami and I was like ... I'm like, "Man, they don't know about the UFC down here."

    20. JR

      Yeah, Shaq trained martial arts a long time ago. He started training a long time ago.

    21. JD

      Bro, I didn't know he was from Newark and I didn't know all the good things he did for Newark. That's a bad motherfucker.

    22. JR

      He's a good man.

    23. JD

      I've gotten a whole new level of respect for what I heard he's done in Newark.

    24. JR

      Oh, yeah?

    25. JD

      One of my friends is a Newark cop, couple of them, and they were telling me, "Bro, it never ends."

    26. JR

      Oh, that's great.

    27. JD

      Yeah. He's, uh, he gave a lot back to his fucking community.

    28. JR

      He's very smart. I mean, he's got a shit ton of businesses. He owns a bunch of businesses. He's always got something going on, you know. He stays active, you know. Guy ... There's, there's a bunch of guys that do a real good job of like using whatever fame they got from athletics and then just like do everything after. Like Shaq does everything. He's always doing commercials-

    29. JD

      He's always doing something, yeah.

    30. JR

      ... he's always doing something, you know. That's a, that's a big human being, dude. You put your hands, like you shake his hand, it's like ...

  11. 31:05 – 39:27

    Banyas, gym sauna chaos, and West Hollywood ‘pickup spot’ stories

    1. JD

      You know they have those banyas by me, right?

    2. JR

      Do they?

    3. JD

      They have a-

    4. JR

      The Russian ones?

    5. JD

      They have a-

    6. JR

      Ari goes to those in the city.

    7. JD

      They have a beautiful one in Freehold.

    8. JR

      Yeah?

    9. JD

      And the fucking place has a restaurant to die for.

    10. JR

      Really?

    11. JD

      Yeah. Like-

    12. JR

      Russian?

    13. JD

      Yeah, you could stay there all fucking day.

    14. JR

      A Russian restaurant?

    15. JD

      I think it's everything.

    16. JR

      Oh, okay.

    17. JD

      It's everything. You get beat up with the leaves-

    18. JR

      Oh.

    19. JD

      ... the steam, the fucking cold plunge. They got a pool. They massage you.

    20. JR

      Oh.

    21. JD

      They have lunch. You could just go there and write.

    22. JR

      Hmm.

    23. JD

      If you just wanna write jokes, you go up to... They have a cafe in there. It's really fucking sharp.

    24. JR

      That's smart.

    25. JD

      I just... I'm not in the mood to get beat up with fucking leaves at this point in my life.

    26. JR

      Yeah.

    27. JD

      When I used to go to the YMCA in Hollywood, the good one, there were Russians in there in the mornings with the, with the hoods on.

    28. JR

      Uh-huh.

    29. JD

      They wear the hoods to keep the heat in. And they'd have the vodka there. I did this... 'Cause I used to... I was so heavy, I was embarrassed to go any other time of the day, so I would go at 5... 4:45.

    30. JR

      Mm-hmm.

  12. 39:27 – 45:14

    Jingle Ball in NYC, Cher fandom, and nostalgia for classic voices

    1. JD

      Dog, I just went to Jingle Bell to see my man Jelly. Okay? And, uh-

    2. NA

      Jingle Bells? What's that?

    3. JD

      Jingle Bell is a big thing they do to... Z100, they do a thing in New York at Madison Square Garden. I never went to it, but I got a daughter now. And you get talked into those stupid shit.

    4. NA

      Right.

    5. JD

      And I don't want my kid going into the city by myself, with my wife, okay?

    6. NA

      Right.

    7. JD

      She don't know the macha- mechanisms of it. So I went with, like, you know, nine kids from the neighborhood. Jelly hooked us up. Me, three moms, and like, the rest were just kids. Girls and one boy. And I took them to go see fucking, uh, Jelly, Olivia Rodrigo. But Cher was there, okay? Cher was doing an appearance. I get there, everybody's cool, but there's two old school gay dudes. They're probably in their 60s, and they're those old school New York geezers, gay guys. They were gay when it was tough to be gay.

    8. NA

      Hmm.

    9. JD

      You get what I'm saying? Like-

    10. NA

      Yeah.

    11. JD

      ... they've been in New York all their lives. They started at CBGBs or-

    12. NA

      Yeah.

    13. JD

      ... the Meat Market or whatever fucking gay haunt. And now they're mature, they, they were married before the law.

    14. NA

      Yeah.

    15. JD

      Dog, these motherfuckers were miserable. They just sat there, and every once in a while they would look at each other and look at the kids and go...

    16. NA

      Damn.

    17. JD

      The whole fucking night. I'm like, "Why are these fucking guys here?" Meanwhile, I got a girl and a little boy, a Jewish kid, jumping up and down, singing into the phone the whole fucking thing. And I'm like, "Look at this fucking Jewish kid. His brother's fighting over there in Israel, he's over here (laughs) watching this fucking thing, jumping up and down like a, half a fucking fag." Now, the two gay guys haven't said a word. They just keep looking around hating, hating everybody. Dog, when they said Cher coming out to the stage, these motherfucking busted out of their capes and they got up and they were dancing like the kids. You should've seen them. They had to be in their 67, 68-

    18. NA

      (laughs)

    19. JD

      They both had the, the hair. They were fucking dance... They were hugging each other. << Take me home >> Whatever that song she fucking sings. When Cher walked out, these motherfucking... You see, like, 10,000 people just left.

    20. NA

      Really?

    21. JD

      'Cause there was a lot of gay people hitting. It's Christmastime. They wanna be out here.

    22. NA

      Just to see Cher?

    23. JD

      Huh?

    24. NA

      Just to see Cher?

    25. JD

      82 years old.

    26. NA

      She's 82?

    27. 77.

    28. JD

      What is it?

    29. NA

      77.

    30. Close enough. (laughs)

  13. 45:14 – 51:25

    Backstage hype music, Austin’s touring scene, and Icehouse podcast nostalgia

    1. JR

      You know, we have that Green Room playlist, Midnight Rider's the first song.

    2. JD

      That's the fucking... Yeah. That gets me-

    3. JR

      That's the first song. Sometimes I switch it up, sometimes it's I'm Your Boogie Man. That's another one. Depends on how we're feeling, Joey. Depends on how we're feeling.

    4. JD

      That's Casey and the Sunshine Band?

    5. JR

      Oh, yeah.

    6. JD

      You know that motherfucker.

    7. JR

      Give me, give me some I'm Your Boogie Man.

    8. JD

      Is he still touring?

    9. JR

      Give me some volume too. I don't know, man. But this is the song, when we would walk into the arena, when we do arenas, when we walk into an arena, like as we're walking into the green room, I like to play I'm Your Boogie Man 'cause that's one of those ones it just... Listen to this. (instrumental music plays) You're walking in, the joint gets fired up, the ice cubes go in the glass, the whiskey gets poured. Cheers. Music goes up. Everybody gets ready. Show's about to start.

    10. NA

      I'm your boogie man. That's what I am. I'm here to-

    11. JD

      Fuck.

    12. NA

      ... do whatever I can.

    13. JR

      Be it early morning, late afternoon.

    14. NA

      Or at midnight. It's never too soon. I wanna feel you up-

    15. JR

      That was back when you could use rainbows.

    16. NA

      ... and make you wish you were around. 'Cause I wanna do it all. Yeah.

    17. JD

      Oh, man.

    18. JR

      Yeah.

    19. JD

      You know who was here last night?

    20. JR

      Who?

    21. JD

      Motherfucker, nobody told me. Cool and the Gang was here last night.

    22. JR

      No way.

    23. JD

      At the movie fucking theater.

    24. JR

      No way.

    25. JD

      When I got to the hotel room I looked at the menu and it said, yeah, uh, entertainment for the month. Fucking...

    26. JR

      That was the thing that I didn't realize about moving here. I thought I was gonna miss out on like big artists, like big acts. But then when I got here I'm like, "Oh, they all come to town. They all come here."

    27. JD

      This is... They all gotta stop here.

    28. JR

      They all come here.

    29. JD

      Gotta say hello.

    30. JR

      Cat Williams was just here-

  14. 51:25 – 56:26

    Vegas, gambling culture, and why Joey wants a residency (but not the flights)

    1. JR

      Do you think you could ever do a residency somewhere, like a Vegas-type deal-

    2. JD

      Yeah.

    3. JR

      ... where people would come to see you?

    4. JD

      Yeah.

    5. JR

      You think about living in Vegas, Joey, is one, there's great- it's great tax benefits. But two, you don't live in Vegas.

    6. JD

      No, you live in-

    7. JR

      You live in like Henderson.

    8. JD

      Henderson. Yeah.

    9. JR

      Yeah, or somewhere nice.

    10. JD

      People like it.

    11. JR

      Henderson's nice. There's-

    12. JD

      People like it.

    13. JR

      What's that other place? There's another area of Vegas that's real nice that's out further away that a lot of people live in. Um, where R- Red Rocks is? Where's Red Rocks?

    14. GC

      I think, I was gonna say that, but that's not what it's called.

    15. JR

      Red Rocks is nice.

    16. JD

      In Colorado?

    17. GC

      I don't know.

    18. JR

      Uh, no, no, no, Red Rock, uh, Casino.

    19. JD

      Oh, okay. I'm sorry.

    20. GC

      That might be what they call it, I guess.

    21. JR

      The area of Red Rock?

    22. GC

      Yeah, I mean, that's over there in the-

    23. JR

      That's a nice area.

    24. GC

      ... canyon and park and then there's-

    25. JR

      That's where, uh, the Fertittas have that club, Red Rock.

    26. GC

      Summer.

    27. JR

      That's, uh, (laughs) I saw Dana White gambling there, and he was down $600,000 playing blackjack. I was like, "You fucking psychopath. What are you doing?" 'Cause I knew he did that, but I never went with him to do it 'til this one time. These guys are all gambling. Taylor Lujan lost $120,000 in the first five minutes, and I'm fucking shitting my pants. I, I got, I'm getting anxiety. I can't watch this.

    28. JD

      (sighs)

    29. JR

      This is ins- this is insane.

    30. JD

      I know.

  15. 56:26 – 1:06:10

    Old-school underground casinos and the mechanics of bribery, lookouts, and raids

    1. JD

      Look, I used to go to this place. Not used to go. I went twice with a, a crazy friend of mine, Chris. You fuck- 181st Street. It was a parking garage, maybe six floors. You just pulled in. There was a guy standing there and all of a sudden he'd open up the door and you pulled into a, a car elevator that put your car up. The car brought you up to the sixth floor. You fucking come out of your car. You walk out of the elevator. Joe, you thought you were in fucking Vegas.

    2. JR

      Really?

    3. JD

      Everything was dark. Poker, blackjack, eh, all that shit.

    4. JR

      Ooh, those are exciting.

    5. JD

      Cocaine.

    6. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    7. JD

      Hookers there. There was hookers on site.

    8. JR

      (laughs)

    9. JD

      People snorting on site. Twice I went there. I'm like, "This is too much for me."

    10. JR

      Wow.

    11. JD

      One time, me and Chris, we drove a girl out of there that we grew up with, and then we all went into a hotel and snorted coke till the next day.

    12. JR

      So, how do they get away with that? Do they make a deal with the cops? They pay the cops off? What do they do?

    13. JD

      Probably. Probably.

    14. JR

      Get everybody to keep their mouth shut? You can't get everybody to keep their mouth shut.

    15. JD

      I mean, this is, this is 30 years ago.

    16. JR

      Right. Right.

    17. JD

      So this is a different-

    18. JR

      Different world.

    19. JD

      ... mi- mindset.

    20. JR

      Yeah.

    21. JD

      Up- It was up 181st or-

    22. JR

      And all the cops were dirty back then.

    23. JD

      (clears throat) Yeah.

    24. JR

      You would always find dirty cops back then.

    25. JD

      Yeah. You know. I mean, but I- I don't know how they'd do it. They'd figure it out. You'd play ... You'd have to pay, like, the, the battalion ch- You, you know. It's just some-

    26. JR

      You're paying somebody.

    27. JD

      You gotta pay somebody.

    28. JR

      Yeah.

    29. JD

      You gotta pay them good money.

    30. JR

      Yeah. You gotta give them a piece so they have a vested interest in keeping the place open.

  16. 1:06:10 – 1:24:40

    Taxes, Dubai, the border crisis, and election-era polarization

    1. JR

      I read about Dubai. See if this is true. Dubai, there's no tax. There's no income tax. None at all. They just have so much money, they're like, "We don't need your money."

    2. JD

      Don't worry about it. Next year.

    3. JR

      And everything's clean. My friend Will went over there, he moved over there. He said, uh, he goes, "I don't wanna get shot in America." He goes, "I could live, like, and com- be completely safe in Dubai." UAE does not levy income tax on individuals. However, it levies a 5% value-added tax on purchases of goods and services levied at each stage of the supply chain and ultimately borne by the end consumer. That's not... Yeah, but that's okay.If you know what that is, that's a big difference between that and income tax. Income tax is weird 'cause you don't get any say in where it goes. And when you see what's going on with Ukraine, you see what's going on with Israel, you see what's going on with all the different shit that the Biden Administration spends money on, all the money they're giving to illegal immigrants that are coming into the country, all, all the money they're giving for programs that are ridiculous, that's your money, and you don't have any say. You can't argue about it. It's not... There's not competition. So there's not a better company that's gonna come along and take care of the taxes in a better way, more efficient. There's no incentive to do it better. Just fuck you, give me the money.

    4. JD

      We're not giving Ukraine any more money, right?

    5. JR

      We're giving them a mo- a lot more money. Yeah. That was one of the things that, uh, they were arguing about, that they have to do both. They were... They wanted the Ukraine budget to be lumped into the border fixing budget. Joe, it's wild.

    6. JD

      That fucking border.

    7. JR

      It's a wild thing. It's a wild thing they're doing.

    8. JD

      That border, what Abbott is doing down there, telling those motherfuckers to step off and shit, and...

    9. JR

      I met Abbott a few times. He's a good man. I like that guy a lot. You know, the sending the buses filled with immigrants to the sanctuary cities is such a crazy move. (laughs) Like, fuck you. You take care of them. You're just letting them in. Your policies are letting them in. You're encouraging people to go there 'cause you're a sanctuary city. Good. We'll help you out. We'll help you out. We'll, we'll bring them right to you. And now these same politicians that were running on this platform, this mischief...

    10. JD

      A form of art.

    11. JR

      It's a fantasy platform. This is a fantasy. Like, "Come here. We'll accept you all." And then let's say, the governor now, she's like, "That's enough. No more. There's... You can't come here. Go somewhere else. Go somewhere else." What does that mean? Go where? They're already here. There's too many. There's millions. You guys have let millions in. There's more illegal immigrants over the last few years than are legal residents in, like, five states. If you put together, like, Idaho, Wyoming, you know, like, them, them weird states with s- low populations. What's the number of illegal immigrants that have entered into this country over the last four years? Let's guess. What do you think it is?

    12. JD

      Millions.

    13. JR

      Yeah, 100%.

    14. JD

      Millions.

    15. JR

      10 million? Maybe 12.

    16. JD

      Maybe 12.

    17. JR

      What do you think it is, Joe?

    18. JD

      I saw those fucking lines, so please tell me it's-

    19. JR

      They don't even know, by the way. They're just guessing, they're just guessing. They're just guessing. They're not counting them all.

    20. GC

      I don't know how to find that number, even.

    21. JR

      Just try to Google it.

    22. GC

      No, I get... I, I, I've tried this before. (clears throat) You can't... I don't know how to differentiate illegal versus legal. And I don't... They don't really tell you either.

    23. JR

      (clears throat)

    24. GC

      'Cause they have to figure out themselves. Something you're allowed to cross.

    25. JR

      Well, they're trying to make everybody legal. That's part of the hustle. The hustles make everybody documented.

    26. GC

      'Cause when I typed in "illegal immigrants entering US 2023," this is what it says. It says, there's arrivals of migrants without prior authorization, which I guess that tech-... I don't, I don't know if that's even illegal, you know. I don't know.

Episode duration: 2:48:42

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