Joe Rogan Experience #2089 - Joey Diaz

Narrator 0:00 (drumming music) Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out.

0:04 The Joe Rogan Experience.

0:06 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music)

Joey Diaz 0:13 I didn't bring my motherfucking glasses though.

Joe Rogan 0:15 Oh, do you need some?

Joey Diaz 0:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:16 I have some.

Joey Diaz 0:17 Just in case, if you're gonna show me something interesting.

Joe Rogan 0:20 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 0:20 Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir.

Joe Rogan 0:24 So I started doing this, uh, red light bed. I started doing two things to help my eyes. One, I started taking Pure Encapsulations. They have this, um ... What is it called? Macro support? What is it called? Anyway, it's a bunch of supplements that they put together, um, to stop your eyesight from going bad and it's legit.

Narrator 0:50 Macular Support?

Joe Rogan 0:51 Macular Support. That's it.

Joey Diaz 0:53 You like it? Oh.

Joe Rogan 0:54 Legit. It stopped ... Whatever the deterioration that I was experiencing, where my eyesight was starting to go, it stopped. Just stopped it, and it made it a little bit better, and then I started doing this red light bed. So I had this guy Gary Brecka on the podcast. He's explained to me how red light, um, revitalizes your capillaries and helps your vision come back. And so I've been doing that now for about six weeks and I've noticed an, an improvement. Like I don't need reading glasses as much if I'm reading things on my phone. I can read some things that I just was not gonna be able to read. And more importantly, it's not getting worse, 'cause like it was like kinda every six months, eight months or so, I'd notice my ... God, my eyes are worse. Like this is terrible. Like after like 46 it seemed like, somewhere around 46 it was like it dropped off a cliff.

Joey Diaz 1:44 And you did the right thing because you didn't submit to these. My mistake was to submit to these when I was like 43, 44.

Joe Rogan 1:51 Mm.

Joey Diaz 1:51 By 44 I could see I was having problems already and I submitted to these, and this is worse for you. That's why I used to tell you-

Joe Rogan 1:58 Glasses.

Joey Diaz 1:59 ... don't put the glasses on.

Joe Rogan 2:00 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 2:00 Hold on.

Joe Rogan 2:01 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 2:01 Make your eyes muscle that thing. It's like when you wear fucking hearing aids.

Joe Rogan 2:05 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 2:06 Like, your hearing gets lost. I-

Joe Rogan 2:08 Well, they say with, with vision, like the problem is we're looking at things that are real close up all the time and your, your eyes are supposed to do a bunch of different things. They're supposed to look at stuff in the distance, they're supposed to look at things up close, and if you don't look at things in the distance all the time, you lose that ability.

Joey Diaz 2:24 Well, I'm gonna be as honest as I can with you. I'm not trying to be cute here.

Joe Rogan 2:27 Okay.

Joey Diaz 2:28 I lost my eyesight when I stopped doing coke, 'cause when I was doing coke, my eyesight was on point, Joe.

Joe Rogan 2:33 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 2:33 I could see a light from fucking two miles away. That light's green. We gotta make it.

Joe Rogan 2:38 Uh ... Uh ...

Joey Diaz 2:38 Once I stopped doing coke-

Joe Rogan 2:39 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 2:39 ... my eyesight went zhip right into the fucking shitter. So when I was snorting, I had 20/20 vision.

Joe Rogan 2:44 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 2:44 I could see coke rocks in the carpet and shit. Now I can't see shit if there's a coke rock on the fucking floor.

Joe Rogan 2:51 So what ... I guess it's blood flow. If you think about it, blood flow to the brain. I mean, doesn't coke give you like a crazy amount of blood flow to your brain? I mean, I mean, it must. It's a stimulant, right?

Joey Diaz 2:59 I have no idea. (laughs) I have no idea where the blood goes, but-

Joe Rogan 3:02 Joe, thank God I never got into that.

Joey Diaz 3:04 No.

Joe Rogan 3:04 Thank God I never got into that.

Joey Diaz 3:05 And especially now.

Joe Rogan 3:06 Yeah. Oh.

Joey Diaz 3:06 Like now I see these people that are snorting anything.

Joe Rogan 3:09 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 3:09 To snort anything today, you gotta be fucking crazy.

Joe Rogan 3:12 Yeah. You could die easy.

Joey Diaz 3:13 Heroin ... These people who put the fucking test. Like if you go to a bar in New York, they have tests.

Joe Rogan 3:17 Yeah. They check you for fentanyl.

Joey Diaz 3:18 That you go in the bathroom and ... Ah, what? Are you fucking kidding me?

Joe Rogan 3:20 You have to if you don't wanna die.

Joey Diaz 3:21 Once you touch cocaine, it's time to do something different.

Joe Rogan 3:24 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 3:25 If you're gonna test your coke, it's time to do something different. You gotta fucking ...

Joe Rogan 3:29 You know what's going on here? Ketamine. Everybody's doing ketamine. They do nasal sprays. We had some lady go into a K-hole in the middle of our comedy show. (laughs) She's fucking falling down like this and they, they, they brought in the Narcan and shit. They were worried that she had, uh, overdosed and, uh, her wife was like, "No, no, no. She's just been doing ketamine. She just did too much." (laughs)

Joey Diaz 3:51 You know, I did a couple lines of that one time at the podcast studio.

Joe Rogan 3:54 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 3:54 And it was okay. I did the podcast, but whoever gave me the ketamine left like a pile of it on the desk, you know, after we did a couple lines. So he left and me and Lee were talking and I go, "Lee, what are we gonna do with this fucking thing?"

Joe Rogan 4:08 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 4:08 And he goes, "I don't know. Throw it away." I go, "Fuck that." It was about 8:30, 9:00 at night. I had done three lines maybe and I was buzzed, but it didn't take me over the top. I did those. Now, I lived six minutes from the podcast studio in LA. When I got to the first light to make the left, I knew it was not gonna be a good drive home.

Joe Rogan 4:30 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 4:31 It was not gonna be a good drive home. Okay? I had done too much. And then I got home, and when I put my foot out of the car, that was it. It was lights out after that. And I'm like, "I am fucked up." I'm-

Joe Rogan 4:44 What do you mean like lights out? Like in what way?

Joey Diaz 4:46 Like I was fucked up. I don't know what was going on.

Joe Rogan 4:49 It's a different kind of fucked up, right?

Joey Diaz 4:51 It's a different type of fucked up. And then I went in the house and goddamn it, my wife is awake.

Joe Rogan 4:56 Oh, no.

Joey Diaz 4:57 Now I gotta talk to her.

Joe Rogan 4:58 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 5:00 So I ran in my office and I'm in there 15 minutes getting higher and higher.

Joe Rogan 5:05 Oh, no.

Joey Diaz 5:06 And shit, my body's feeling weird and I go, "I better go out there before she comes in here."

Joe Rogan 5:12 Right.

Joey Diaz 5:15 And she was watching True-

Joe Rogan 5:17 True Crimes?

Joey Diaz 5:18 Detective, whatever the... on HBO.

Joe Rogan 5:20 Oh. Oh, okay.

Joey Diaz 5:20 And it was the dude from The Green Book and the other guy.

Joe Rogan 5:24 The Green Book?

Joey Diaz 5:25 The brother. The, the guy who won the ... He was in the mo- book The Green Book with the guy who drove him in the South, he played the piano player. Anyway, it doesn't matter.

Joe Rogan 5:32 Doesn't ...

Joey Diaz 5:33 So (laughs) you never saw The Green Book?

Joe Rogan 5:35 I don't think I saw The Green Book.

Joey Diaz 5:35 That's a good fucking movie.

Joe Rogan 5:37 Oh. Uh, we were talking about him yesterday, Marshallah Ali.

Joey Diaz 5:40 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:41 That guy's awesome, man.

Joey Diaz 5:41 He's awesome.

Joe Rogan 5:42 He was great in that Netflix documentary or the Netflix show we were just talking about, about the end of the world with Julia Roberts and Ethan Hawke.

Joey Diaz 5:48 I ... Oh, I didn't see that.

Joe Rogan 5:49 It was good, good. Fucking Giannis hated it though, huh?

Narrator 5:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:53 He was trying to get me to hate it. I kinda went with him a little bit.

Narrator 5:56 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:56 Right? He influenced me. I was like, "Yeah, there were some parts I didn't like."

Narrator 6:00 Yeah, you didn't like the animals.

Joe Rogan 6:01 The CG animals.

Guest (unidentified, short contribution) 6:03 ... get picky.

Joe Rogan 6:04 Yeah, a bunch of CGI animals staring at people. I'm like, "Come on."

Joey Diaz 6:07 No.

Joe Rogan 6:07 "You don't need to do this to me."

Joey Diaz 6:08 No. No, but I looked at him and while I was watching TV his head kept getting bigger.

Joe Rogan 6:13 Boo.

Joey Diaz 6:14 And I'm like, I couldn't take it. I'm sitting there, I got no T-shirt on. I'm sweating-

Joe Rogan 6:18 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 6:18 ... profusely. She's kinda looking at me.

Joe Rogan 6:21 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 6:21 I'm kinda looking at her.

Joe Rogan 6:22 Your wife is a fucking angel.

Joey Diaz 6:24 And finally-

Joe Rogan 6:25 She really is, to deal with you. (laughs)

Joey Diaz 6:26 ... I couldn't take it no more. I couldn't take it no more and I go, "What the hell is going on here?"

Joe Rogan 6:30 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 6:30 And she said, "What? What? I'll change it." She didn't know.

Joe Rogan 6:32 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 6:32 I told her the next morning. I said-

Joe Rogan 6:34 Ah.

Joey Diaz 6:34 ... "Let me tell you something. When I came last night-"

Joe Rogan 6:36 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 6:36 ... "I was not doing too good." You know, people think that-

Joe Rogan 6:40 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 6:40 ... you, you fuck around, like when I was living in LA, people think like you fuck around and you don't have no... Everybody always thinks like I just got high and had no fucking consequences. I just never told you about what I dealt with. You know?

Joe Rogan 6:50 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 6:51 One night I ate mushrooms and I went home and the fucking mushrooms hit. I didn't know. I ate like three little fucking things at the office. The mushrooms hit and that's the day The Exorcist came on.

Joe Rogan 7:01 Ah.

Joey Diaz 7:01 And I had to watch it. And I'm like, "What the?" And I finally ran into the room and put the blankets over my head. It was too fucking real.

Joe Rogan 7:07 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 7:07 Like I have horrible high stories. I just don't repeat them 'cause, you know-

Joe Rogan 7:12 Bro.

Joey Diaz 7:12 ... people won't believe them.

Joe Rogan 7:13 I remember when we were on a plane once and you were eating Stars of Death and, uh, we were, like, almost at New York and it was like an hour before the plane landed, "Joe Rogan, I almost fucking lost it. I almost fucking lost it. I was having a panic attack."

Joey Diaz 7:27 Oh.

Joe Rogan 7:27 "It was, it was getting bad, it was getting bad." And then you go, "But I'm back."

Joey Diaz 7:30 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:30 And then you popped two more. (laughs)

Joey Diaz 7:32 (laughs)

Guest (unidentified, short contribution) 7:32 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:32 I'm like, "How did you just fucking do that?"

Joey Diaz 7:35 Oh.

Joe Rogan 7:35 You just had a panic attack almost.

Joey Diaz 7:37 You know, for three years I cried about this anxiety, anxiety, I can't take it.

Joe Rogan 7:41 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 7:42 Fucking I don't do edibles now.

Joe Rogan 7:45 Is that what it is?

Joey Diaz 7:46 Monday nights.

Joe Rogan 7:47 So it was the edibles that was giving you the anxiety?

Joey Diaz 7:49 You said it yourself, you can't live on a 2,000 milligrams a goddamn day.

Joe Rogan 7:54 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 7:54 Something's gotta fall apart eventually.

Joe Rogan 7:56 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 7:57 You know, that was kicking it up and then, uh-

Joe Rogan 7:59 I would get... Anytime I would get above 200 milligrams, the whole world was just like very slippery, very slippery. I was like, "This is like..." I could see how edibles could get someone to legitimately lose their mind. That's why when I was talking to Alex Berenson, he wrote that book, Tell Your Children, it's all about schizophrenia and about how, uh, there are people that get introduced to high doses of marijuana and it induces schizophrenia. We know people, we both know a couple of people that have had that happen to. I'm like, th- g- this is real. And I think marijuana is very beneficial in low to moderate doses, but you get above certain doses with certain psychologies, certain people, certain times of their life, you know, certain things they're going through.

Joey Diaz 8:44 You never know.

Joe Rogan 8:45 You could fucking crack.

Joey Diaz 8:46 You never know.

Joe Rogan 8:47 You could... Yeah.

Joey Diaz 8:48 And I can tell you that. That's the truth.

Joe Rogan 8:50 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 8:51 That's the truth, 'cause at times, you know...

Joe Rogan 8:53 It gets... Marijuana at the high doses is not what people think it is. It ge- it gets to that very psychedelic place where it's like this might as well be acid. Like the real high doses, there was some time where, uh, Eddie Bravo had these, uh, THC pills. One of his students had made his own pills-

Joey Diaz 9:15 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:15 ... had like turned kief into pills. I forget how many we took but I was talking to this one dude and like I might as well have been in another dimension. Like my relationship to reality was very slippery. I was like, if I was losing my mind right now or if I wasn't in a good place in my life, my, m- you know, life was falling apart, maybe you're, you know, getting fired, your house is repossessed, going through a divor- maybe you have cancer, who knows, whatever it is, and then you get that dose, it could send you over the top.

Joey Diaz 9:45 Bro, I had a guy come over from jujitsu one day. We were just hanging out and he goes, "I want to do a bong hit with you." I gave him two bong hits of what I smoke. He puked in my yard.

Joe Rogan 9:53 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 9:54 He was like, "I don't know how you do this every day."

Joe Rogan 9:56 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 9:57 "Two fucking bong hits and you're gonna light 'em up?"

Joe Rogan 9:59 Well, yeah. Well, it's also like when someone, uh, runs marathons. You try to run a marathon with them. I don't know how you run a marathon. Well, you fucking, you got to build up to it. You're building up to that too. It's all building up, you know?

Joey Diaz 10:13 This new weed that's coming out now, these... people aren't ready for it.

Joe Rogan 10:17 It's too strong.

Joey Diaz 10:18 And more people are smoking pot now than ever before, whether it's vapor pens, everybody's doing something.

Joe Rogan 10:26 Is that... Like because it's legal, right? I wonder what the numbers are. Because, because it's legal in... What is it now, Jamie, 19 states?

Guest (unidentified, short contribution) 10:34 Uh, I feel like we're close to 20, 20. It's 23 maybe.

Joe Rogan 10:37 Shitload of states. It's decriminalized in the city of Austin, but it's legal in a lot of states like New Jersey, New York, California, recreational use, Nevada, Colorado, Oregon. There's g- I would imagine there's more people smoking it now just because of that, because it's legal, right?

Joey Diaz 10:56 Dog (coughs) , you gotta come home from work, instead of getting beer or whatever the fuck you get, you go and you get one of these joints for 25 bucks and it'll l- this'll last the regular person the whole weekend.

Joe Rogan 11:07 And it doesn't kill your body.

Joey Diaz 11:09 (coughs) And it doesn't kill you.

Joe Rogan 11:10 It doesn't kill your body, that's the big one. For me, like when I was doing jujitsu every day, if I was, uh, getting high and doing jujitsu, it, it actually made my jujitsu better. Like I felt like my jujitsu was more smooth. I was more focused. But I never felt wrecked the next day. But if I drank the night before and then tried to go into class the next day, I always felt like 30% less. I was like, "This is terrible." I was like, "I got to stop drinking." 'Cause every time I would go out drinking and then I'd go into class, I'd, I'd just get manhandled. I'd just get wrecked, just couldn't, couldn't keep up. And when you're-

Joey Diaz 11:46 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 11:46 ... hungover, it's the worst feeling.

Joey Diaz 11:47 It's the worst feeling. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:47 What have I done to myself for just a few hours of fun?

Joey Diaz 11:51 You know, it's really crazy that we don't really know what alcohol does to our bodies, but it's not good, you know? But it's like-

Joe Rogan 11:58 You know how you find out?

Joey Diaz 11:59 How?

Joe Rogan 11:59 Get one of those Oura Rings. Get a Oura Ring or a WHOOP strap, one of those WHOOP straps, you-

Joey Diaz 12:04 I got one.

Joe Rogan 12:05 Yeah, okay. Check your WHOOP strap. Have a couple of cocktails-

Joey Diaz 12:08 Oh.

Joe Rogan 12:08 ... and then check your WHOOP strap. It's crazy, like, "Oh, I had-"

Joey Diaz 12:10 It's crazy.

Joe Rogan 12:10 "... two drinks, two glasses of wine." Your recovery will be way down.... the whoop strap is very beneficial for that because it, it tracks your heart rate variability and it gives you, like, a real accurate assessment of what happens when you fuck around with things. 'Cause if you just do something different, like, "I just cut out sugar. Oh, whoa, look at how much better my recovery is." You know, "Oh, I stopped drinking alcohol. Whoa. Recovery's through the roof. I c- committed to drinking X amount of liters of water every day. Whoa, look at all this recovery. Look, my body's functioning better." You know? It's, like, it gives you real feedback.

Joey Diaz 12:41 Well, I was telling your buddy that when I got the whoop, it was for recovery purposes. I don't like being that fucking sore, you know what I'm saying? So I wanna know where I am throughout the day.

Joe Rogan 12:53 Right.

Joey Diaz 12:53 I got the whoop, and I gotta be honest with you. You know what improved the best?

Joe Rogan 12:57 What?

Joey Diaz 12:57 My sleep.

Joe Rogan 12:58 Mm.

Joey Diaz 12:58 'Cause when I got the whoop, we all think we sleep eight hours.

Joe Rogan 13:01 Right.

Joey Diaz 13:02 Everybody thinks they sleep fucking eight hours. Get the fucking whoop and get back to me.

Joe Rogan 13:06 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 13:06 You'll see that you're sleeping 5:45-

Joe Rogan 13:09 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 13:09 ... 6:10-

Joe Rogan 13:10 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 13:10 ... and you're like, "This ain't working." So I started doing things to help my sleep. Joe, do you know I sleep eight now? And at 4:00, 5:00, I gotta go down for an hour every day.

Joe Rogan 13:22 Take a nap?

Joey Diaz 13:23 You know when I took... I never took a fucking nap, since you known me. Take a nap.

Joe Rogan 13:27 Mm.

Joey Diaz 13:28 One hour. Get up, I feel tip-top Magoo-

Joe Rogan 13:31 Mm.

Joey Diaz 13:31 ... and that's when I start smoking weed and having a good time.

Joe Rogan 13:35 Yeah, I'm, uh... I can function on five. I do well on six. When I'm doing eight-plus, I'm at my best. I know the difference. Like, there's days that I come in here where maybe I had a late show, got out of the club late, and then maybe I had to take the kids to school in the morning or maybe I had an appointment or maybe I had something I had to do, so I had to get up early, so I only got, like, five or six. I can function, but I'm... In my mind, I'm like, "That's a check I have to pay. That's a bill I have to pay." So I have to make sure tonight I get, like, 10 or 11. Tonight, I really wanna get, get some serious sleep. No booze.

Joey Diaz 14:11 (coughs)

Joe Rogan 14:11 Hit the sauna, hit the cold, get, get my body prepped. Sauna and a cold plunge before you go to bed? Oh my God, you sleep like-

Joey Diaz 14:18 Really?

Joe Rogan 14:18 ... a baby. You sleep like a baby. You sleep so good. Yeah.

Joey Diaz 14:22 I haven't worked myself up to the cold plunge yet, but I do the red light-

Joe Rogan 14:25 Do it right now.

Joey Diaz 14:26 ... sauna twice a week. No, fuck that.

Joe Rogan 14:26 You could do it right now.

Joey Diaz 14:28 Fuck that.

Joe Rogan 14:28 Red light sauna's great. I think any sauna's great. Even a hot bath is great. The whole idea is just warming your body up, just getting your body so it's uncomfortable. But, uh, the real studies are on the regular sauna. Uh, we got a, a Salus sauna. I have that for here and that for my house. They're the shit, man. That's, that's... It's, the one we have here is so nice. It's set up, it's all Bluetoothed. You set it up off your phone, like, so you're on their way to the gym. If we're on the way to the gym, set the sauna to 190. Get here-

Joey Diaz 14:57 Come on in. Yeah, it's ready to go.

Joe Rogan 14:58 Takes a while, takes a while to cook. But then, you know, you're sitting in that thing and if you do that on a regular basis, it gets... You get used to it. You get used to being uncomfortable, but God damn, you feel good. Like, your joints feel good. All the stiffness kind of feels like it goes away. Your mood feels better. You sleep better. Sauna's the motherfu-... If I had to pick one over the two, I don't know which one I'd pick, but I love the fact that I could do both of them. I think sauna I would pick 'cause there's more data. There's, there's a 20-year study out of Finland with sauna patients where they, um, they used the sauna four times a week for 20 years. And the, uh, depending about how many times a week they used it, they saw more improvement. But the people that used it four times a week saw a f-... I think it was a 40% decrease in all-cause mortality. A 40% decrease. Stroke, heart attack, cancer for the people that did that as opposed to the people that didn't do it.

Joey Diaz 15:51 Well, your girl told me that if you do f-

Joe Rogan 15:53 Rhonda?

Joey Diaz 15:54 Yeah. I love her.

Joe Rogan 15:55 Oh, she's the best.

Joey Diaz 15:56 You know I love her.

Joe Rogan 15:57 I love her too.

Joey Diaz 15:57 Like, I watch-

Joe Rogan 15:58 Shout out to Rhonda Patrick.

Joey Diaz 15:59 I watch every video. I take what she tells me-

Joe Rogan 16:02 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 16:02 ... to heart. And I think she's so fucking sexy.

Joe Rogan 16:04 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 16:04 'Cause she's so fucking smart when she ta-... When she just goes on a tan, like (gasps) .

Joe Rogan 16:08 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 16:09 She's so fucking sexy.

Joe Rogan 16:11 She's a genius.

Joey Diaz 16:11 But she was saying that 51, 61 minutes a week in the sauna cuts your, uh, cardiac arrest rate by, like-

Joe Rogan 16:20 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 16:20 ... fucking 60% or some shit.

Joe Rogan 16:22 Well, I'll tell you what else it does, Jo- Joey. It makes your cardio better. Like, your cardio from working out, just sitting there, your heart rate gets jacked. So it's like a static form of cardio.

Joey Diaz 16:33 When, before I go to the Tuesday and Thursday jujitsu, I go to the red light sauna.

Joe Rogan 16:37 Mm.

Joey Diaz 16:37 That's my cheat because that's a heavier class.

Joe Rogan 16:40 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 16:41 And you gotta fucking be a little... So I always go in there in the morning, 34 minutes, come out, go right to jujitsu from there. Fuckin' love it.

Joe Rogan 16:47 It's a good way to warm up before working out too.

Joey Diaz 16:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:50 Get in there for 10 minutes. Just sort of, like, get in there and stretch a little bit for 10 minutes.

Joey Diaz 16:54 I do yoga in there. I do a bunch of-

Joe Rogan 16:56 That's great.

Joey Diaz 16:57 ... uh, hot regandas, whatever the fuck they're called.

Joe Rogan 16:59 Yeah, there's a company-

Joey Diaz 17:00 They're breathing.

Joe Rogan 17:00 ... that makes a y- a, a yoga room. Like, they make a sauna that's just for working out in. It's a bigger sauna. It's, I think it's... What is that company? But they, they have, like, chin-up bars in there and shit, and an exercise bike, and people work out while they're in the, in the infrared.

Joey Diaz 17:16 I breathe for five, just work on my breathing.

Joe Rogan 17:18 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 17:19 Just, you know, quick breathing, in deep, and then I get up and I stretch a little bit. And then about the 10-minute mark is where I start doing Chaturangas.

Joe Rogan 17:27 Hm.

Joey Diaz 17:28 And, uh-

Joe Rogan 17:29 Which one's a Chaturanga?

Joey Diaz 17:30 Chaturanga's when you go up, down, drop. You could drop into a fucking, uh, whatever, crooked dog, whatever the fuck it is.

Joe Rogan 17:41 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 17:41 But it's not big enough for Uncle Joey, and I fucked my ankle up, so I wasn't doing those. But I'll do a bunch of warrior poses.

Joe Rogan 17:46 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 17:46 Warrior I, warrior II.

Joe Rogan 17:48 In the sauna?

Joey Diaz 17:49 In the sauna.

Joe Rogan 17:49 Yeah, yeah.

Joey Diaz 17:50 And then I wait to the halfway mark. I go out, I take 30 seconds. I drink a little liquid IV, and I shoot right back the fuck in there.

Joe Rogan 17:56 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 17:56 And I gotta tell you something else. Before I go in that sauna, I do it in the morning, I get as fucking jazizzled as I can be.

Joe Rogan 18:04 Yeah?

Joey Diaz 18:05 I don't smoke. If I know I'm going to the sauna at 10:00, I won't do that 8:00 bong hit.

Joe Rogan 18:09 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 18:09 In the morning, I'll hold off on that motherfucker till 10:00, and then I'll do, like, 18 bong hits. When I walk in there, they even know it.

Joe Rogan 18:17 Whoa.

Joey Diaz 18:18 They're the nicest people in the world. They just wave.

Joe Rogan 18:20 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 18:20 I go in the red light sauna.... I am fucking stoned in there. When I walk out of there, I dry off, I put my socks on, I drink my water. After about seven minutes, I go back in and smell in there, you could grow fucking weed in that motherfucker after I... The odors you smell in there-

Joe Rogan 18:38 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 18:38 ... fucking fungi toenail sweat, fucking reefer sweat. It's, it's amazing.

Joe Rogan 18:43 Is this the place at the gym you go to?

Joey Diaz 18:45 No, no. This is a place called Chill.

Joe Rogan 18:47 Oh, so it's a place-

Joey Diaz 18:47 And they have, they have-

Joe Rogan 18:48 ... set up just with saunas and cold plunges?

Joey Diaz 18:49 Red light sauna, uh, no cold plunge, but they have the cryo.

Joe Rogan 18:53 Cryotherapy.

Joey Diaz 18:54 So you could go right from the sauna into the cryo. They got so many things now. They got medi-beds that you sit in.

Joe Rogan 18:59 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 19:00 It controls, like, whatever. They have so many things. The place is clean. Six minutes from my house. I could just call them and go, "I'm on my way. We don't have a bed. We have a bed." It's tremendous. I love all that shit.

Joe Rogan 19:12 Yeah, I wonder what's better for you, cryo or the cold plunge?

Joey Diaz 19:16 I think the cold plunge.

Joe Rogan 19:16 I'll tell you what's harder to do. The cold plunge is hard to do.

Joey Diaz 19:19 Yeah, cold plunge is hard.

Joe Rogan 19:20 It's harder to do. And it feel, you feel different when you get out of there. Like, you feel fucking chilled down to the bones. Whereas, there's something about the f- the cryo chamber... I think they're both super beneficial though. I don't know if there's been studies done on what's better for you. But the f- I get the same feeling after both of them. Like, whew. I recover a lot quicker after the cryotherapy than I would the cold plunge, though. The cold plunge, I'm cold for a long fucking time afterwards.

Joey Diaz 19:46 I only got one regret about cryotherapy, that I didn't discover that when I was doing drugs.

Joe Rogan 19:51 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 19:51 Because that... Let me tell you something, when you go into the cryotherapy the first time, you do the three minutes, when you walk out of there, you either have an idea what this is for you. Like, for me, when I walked out, I go, "Where was this motherfucker when I was drinking?"

Joe Rogan 20:05 Hmm.

Joey Diaz 20:06 Because you could snort coke till 9:00 in the morning, go to that red light sauna, quarter to 10:00, come out of that at 10:00 and you're brand new. I've never done it, but I know from the feeling-

Joe Rogan 20:15 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 20:15 ... of walking out of there that you're brand new.

Joe Rogan 20:18 So do you mean the cryotherapy or you mean the c- the sauna?

Joey Diaz 20:21 The cryotherapy. I'm sorry.

Joe Rogan 20:23 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 20:23 Japanese people invented cryotherapy, correct?

Joe Rogan 20:25 They did?

Joey Diaz 20:26 Uh, can we find out? Can... Fact check me, you know?

Joe Rogan 20:29 I think, uh, I would like to know. I mean, I think the Vikings did it. It was a thing they did, like, just to boost their manliness, just get in the fucking cold water.

Guest (unidentified, short contribution) 20:40 Well, technically, Joey's right.

Joe Rogan 20:41 Oh, okay.

Guest (unidentified, short contribution) 20:41 Developed in 1970s by a Japanese rheumatologist, Toshima Yamaguchi.

Joe Rogan 20:47 Uh-

Guest (unidentified, short contribution) 20:47 But that would be, like, the actual cryotherapy that we did, like, in LA, like, the-

Joe Rogan 20:50 Okay.

Guest (unidentified, short contribution) 20:51 ... with the liquid nitrogen and stuff.

Joe Rogan 20:52 Like, the c- cold, liquid nitrogen? Yeah.

Joey Diaz 20:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:53 Okay.

Joey Diaz 20:54 Now-

Joe Rogan 20:55 Mmm. But, but the Vikings were doing cold therapy-

Guest (unidentified, short contribution) 20:57 Right, right, right. They did that.

Joe Rogan 20:58 ... thousands of years ago.

Guest (unidentified, short contribution) 20:59 I don't think they had liquid nitrogen.

Joey Diaz 21:00 But the guy that invented this-

Joe Rogan 21:02 No, it was a plunge.

Joey Diaz 21:02 ... the people, it was Japanese people. And again, these motherfuckers like to party.

Joe Rogan 21:07 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 21:08 So as soon as I walked out of there (laughs) , that's what I said to myself, "Absolutely a Japanese guy invented this."

Joe Rogan 21:13 Look at this, goes back to the ancient civilizations. Ancient Egyptians, Romans, and early Greeks were using cold temperatures as a form of therapy as early as 2,500 BC. Whoa. When I used to see Fedor do it (clears throat) , Fedor Emelianenko, o- one of the all-time greats, he used to do the banya. So they would all get in the sauna together and they would, like, beat them with leaves. They would use leaves and beat them and then they would jump in this frozen lake. And I went like, "These guys are just insane. There's no ben-..." I'm going, "What's the bene- what's the benefit of that?" I would think it was nonsense. But they knew. They knew, you know... And this was the early 2000s. People hadn't, weren't doing cold plunges in saunas. If they were, it wasn't, like, openly discussed like it is now. You know?

Joey Diaz 21:56 We have-

Joe Rogan 21:57 Like Dan- Dan Gable found out about it. He was telling me on the podcast. He found out about it when he was Russ- uh, wrestling the, uh, Russians and the Eastern Europeans. He's like, "They all use sauna." And he, he realized, like, there's something to the, the actual, uh, the, the benefits for your cardio, recovery, blood cells. He said it's almost like a mild version of EPO when you take... when you're in the sauna on a regular basis. It just really boosts up your endurance. Here's Fedor. Damn, when he was young, he was the motherfucker, dude. And what a dad bod that guy had. (laughs)

Joey Diaz 22:28 (laughs) It's dead.

Joe Rogan 22:29 There's not a single photo of him out there with a six-pack. And he's widely regarded as the greatest heavyweight of all time. I mean, he might be the greatest martial artist of all time. He's certainly in the argument. The arguments for the greatest martial arts of all time, if, like, they're in their prime. I always say this guy because people leave him out of the conversation, you never should, BJ Penn. BJ Penn, in his prime, was one of the greatest I've ever seen. And then there's Anderson, Anderson in his prime. I was just watching the Anderson documentary that the UFC just put together. Holy shit, man, you forget. (clears throat) You forget. You forget those Rich Franklin fights.

Joey Diaz 23:09 I never forgot them.

Joe Rogan 23:10 You forget. But you, but you forget the level of expertise and precision and just mastery he had when he was in his prime. I am telling you, I'm guilty. Even though I'm a giant Anderson fan, I had to see it again. I had to see it again. I'm like, "Oh, yeah, people forgot."

Joey Diaz 23:27 Well, we had a conversation after the Adesanya fight. You're like, "Adesanya was the best." And I go, "Remember I said to you, 'Bro-

Joe Rogan 23:33 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 23:34 ... relax.'?"

Joe Rogan 23:34 No, you're right.

Joey Diaz 23:34 It's Anderson. And I, I love-

Joe Rogan 23:36 Anderson, Anderson's prime.

Joey Diaz 23:36 ... the Rich Franklin fight. I mean, the first time I ever saw this motherfucker, I'm about... I'm getting dressed. I'm getting dressed, ready to go do comedy-

Joe Rogan 23:45 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 23:45 ... with you or anybody else. And it was a UFC fight night with him against Chris Leben.

Joe Rogan 23:50 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 23:50 I never saw this fucking guy. I heard you guys talking about him.

Joe Rogan 23:53 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 23:54 And when he came out, it was fucking mastery. I was, like, blown. Then he played the ukulele. I'll never forget that.

Joe Rogan 24:00 Dance. Well, I ru- ... I was a giant fan of Anderson's already, 'cause I became a fan of Anderson's in Pride and then Anderson went over to Cage Warriors and when he went over to the... Was it Cage Rage? What, what was the organization that he fought for, that Anderson fought for in England? But in England, he came, he became Anderson Silva. You know, there's, there's a, there's... Like Charles Oliveira, Charles Oliveira was a really good fighter and then his daughter was born and then he became Charles Oliveira, the assassin that everybody knows. But he lost a bunch of times in the UFC.

Joey Diaz 24:34 Yes. We went through... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:35 He just, he would fall apart.Anderson when he went to England. There's something about leaving Japan and going to England, then he became Anderson. So what was the ... Cage Rage, right. Cage Warriors is the, the, the, that's like the top organization that exists now in, um, in the UK. So he fights, uh, Lee Murray in Cage Rage, and Lee Murray was a fucking killer. Lee Murray was the guy who was involved in the biggest armed robbery in the history of the UK. H- He's in jail now, like forever.

Joey Diaz 25:06 Oh, I've heard about him. Yeah, yeah. I didn't know. I've never seen it.

Joe Rogan 25:07 A real gangster.

Joey Diaz 25:09 (coughs) Oh.

Joe Rogan 25:09 Crazy dude.

Joey Diaz 25:10 Really? Okay.

Joe Rogan 25:11 So he fucks Lee Murray up in Cage Rage, and then he comes back and fucks Jorge Rivera up in Cage Rage. And when he fucked Hor- Jorge Rivera, but he's standing in front of Jorge, who was a murderous puncher, and letting Jorge punch him in the face. He was just letting him punch him in the face. Just like, "But you ain't got shit." And then beat his ass. Then he goes over and fights Tony Fryklund in Cage Rage and hits him with that crazy upward elbow. Did you ever see that?

Joey Diaz 25:35 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:36 So he fought Curtis Stoudt, fucked him up, fucked Tony Fryklund up, and then by the time he was coming to the UFC, I was like, "Dude, get ready for this guy." And I was looking at the line, like the betting line. The betting lines back then were stealing.

Joey Diaz 25:52 Sure.

Joe Rogan 25:52 Nobody knew-

Joey Diaz 25:53 Nobody knew nothing.

Joe Rogan 25:54 ... nothing.

Joey Diaz 25:54 Nothing.

Joe Rogan 25:54 Nobody knew nothing. You ... Uh, uh, a guy would sneak over, a guy like Glover Teixeira or someone would come over from Brazil, and you'd be like (gasps) . You don't... No one even knows yet. You don't even know how good this guy is. Like, and the, the, you know, the line would be like in favor of the other guy. Be like, "Oh my God, this is hil- hilarious." I think Chris Slevin might've been a slight favorite over Anderson. I don't even know what the betting line was. I don't think he was a favorite. I think Anderson was the favorite. But either way, I was like, "Dude, he's gonna light him up like a Christmas tree." Because Chris Slevin was just such a murderous, marauding, attacking style. That's perfect for Anderson, 'cause Anderson's the technician. So he's just gonna slide away. Pop, pop, pop.

Joey Diaz 26:34 That's what he did. He basically-

Joe Rogan 26:35 Oh.

Joey Diaz 26:35 ... just stepped away, punched (smacks lips) .

Joe Rogan 26:37 It's a masterclass. Put that fight on. Put Anderson Silva versus Chris Slevin.

Joey Diaz 26:40 Dog, the fucking fight you took me to with Rich Franklin in Columbus.

Joe Rogan 26:44 Oh, yeah.

Joey Diaz 26:44 When the, when the Arnold thing was going on-

Joe Rogan 26:46 Mm-hmm, yeah.

Joey Diaz 26:46 ... and we were in Columbus. That last array, when he boom, boom-

Joe Rogan 26:50 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 26:50 ... then he hits him low-

Joe Rogan 26:52 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 26:52 ... with a leg kick, and then he punches him again, another leg kick. It's fucking bea- ... I- I was like-

Joe Rogan 26:56 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 26:57 What the fuck. That's how you mix it the fuck up.

Joe Rogan 26:59 And he did it like he was just playing. He did it like he was hitting a heavy bag-

Joey Diaz 27:04 What about-

Joe Rogan 27:04 ... just fucking around.

Joey Diaz 27:05 What about the night where he took the hit of acid and that's the night he decides to kick that dude in the face? This is the only one, right?

Joe Rogan 27:11 Yeah, this is the one.

Joey Diaz 27:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:11 So this is Anderson's debut. And by the way, Chris Slevin, one of the most murderous punchers. Knocked out Wanderlei Silva, knocked out a shit ton of dudes. When Chris Slevin would connect on guys, they would go night-night. And he fought like a fucking wolverine, man. Chris Slevin would just charge at you. So like that style with-

Narrator 27:32 That is so smooth.

Joe Rogan 27:32 ... that kind of confidence is per- ... Look how Anderson's moving, baby. Look at that. Look at that jab. Look at that jab. Shucks them off to the side. I mean, the footwork, bro. Look how elegant. Just no wasted movement.

Narrator 27:48 ... reach event, and the physicality.

Joe Rogan 27:50 And Slevin just moving in for the kill. Bing. Uh-oh. Give me that volume.

Narrator 27:55 You know, really good at moving in and out, changing timing.

Joe Rogan 28:00 Oh, there it is. It's already beginning. Bing, bing, bing. Yep. I mean, Slevin can't even land a shot on him.

Narrator 28:05 Silva shoulda jumped in and finished it. He may do it right here. Slevin is rocked, he was stunned, he was like back up-

Joey Diaz 28:11 And Slevin got back up though. Tough as nails.

Joe Rogan 28:13 Oh, Slevin's so tough, dude. Tough as nails. And there's the knee.

Narrator 28:17 ... down again goes Anderson Silva.

Joe Rogan 28:17 And that's a wrap, son.

Narrator 28:19 That is last less than one minute. That's what I was talking about. This is a different kind of striker.

Joe Rogan 28:26 (laughs)

Narrator 28:26 Oh, I want you to see this thing. Man, that's-

Joe Rogan 28:27 Anderson Silva.

Narrator 28:28 Man, that was impressive.

Joe Rogan 28:30 That was the big debut. That was like 2004?

Joey Diaz 28:33 Six.

Narrator 28:33 Six.

Joe Rogan 28:34 Six.

Joey Diaz 28:34 I was-

Narrator 28:34 Six.

Joe Rogan 28:35 ... fucking hypnotized by that. Hypnotized.

Narrator 28:37 He was the man.

Joey Diaz 28:38 Hypnotized. I was like, "What the fuck?"

Narrator 28:40 He was the man. He was the man.

Joey Diaz 28:41 'Cause I'd watch ... Listen, bro, I watched the UFC with you. There was a bunch of chubby guys that looked like me. I don't want no part of that stuff. You took me to Florida one time to see, uh, Miami when there was like maybe 15 people in the audience.

Joe Rogan 28:54 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 28:54 Shaq was there. Do you remember that?

Joe Rogan 28:57 It was a long time ago. Yeah, that was the early days.

Joey Diaz 28:59 That was 2-4. That was 2004.

Joe Rogan 29:03 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 29:03 Because that was around the time of The Mad Show.

Joe Rogan 29:05 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 29:06 And it was ... Butterbean was one of the fighters on that card?

Joe Rogan 29:09 No, Butterbean never fought in the UFC.

Joey Diaz 29:11 Who was the chubby guy that fought on that card?

Joe Rogan 29:13 (inhales deeply)

Joey Diaz 29:13 There was somebody who was on that card that was like ...

Joe Rogan 29:17 Trey Tellement. No, Trey Tel- ... No, uh, Scott Fairoza was really big. Trey Tellement was a guy who was missing part of his pack.

Joey Diaz 29:22 But Shaq was there.

Joe Rogan 29:23 He was the two guys that Vitor fought in his debut. But that was earlier than that, that was '97.

Joey Diaz 29:27 That was, Shaq was there.

Joe Rogan 29:28 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 29:29 I remember he was already in Miami and I was like ... I'm like, "Man, they don't know about the UFC down here."

Joe Rogan 29:34 Yeah, Shaq trained martial arts a long time ago. He started training a long time ago.

Joey Diaz 29:39 Bro, I didn't know he was from Newark and I didn't know all the good things he did for Newark. That's a bad motherfucker.

Joe Rogan 29:46 He's a good man.

Joey Diaz 29:46 I've gotten a whole new level of respect for what I heard he's done in Newark.

Joe Rogan 29:50 Oh, yeah?

Joey Diaz 29:51 One of my friends is a Newark cop, couple of them, and they were telling me, "Bro, it never ends."

Joe Rogan 29:55 Oh, that's great.

Joey Diaz 29:56 Yeah. He's, uh, he gave a lot back to his fucking community.

Joe Rogan 29:59 He's very smart. I mean, he's got a shit ton of businesses. He owns a bunch of businesses. He's always got something going on, you know. He stays active, you know. Guy ... There's, there's a bunch of guys that do a real good job of like using whatever fame they got from athletics and then just like do everything after. Like Shaq does everything. He's always doing commercials-

Joey Diaz 30:20 He's always doing something, yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:22 ... he's always doing something, you know. That's a, that's a big human being, dude. You put your hands, like you shake his hand, it's like ...

Joey Diaz 30:30 That's a big dude.

Joe Rogan 30:31 He's so big. His hands are like, it's like a fucking breakfast tray.

Joey Diaz 30:34 I never said nothing to him.

Joe Rogan 30:36 At Denny's.

Joey Diaz 30:36 I never spoke to him. I saw him at the store a couple nights. He would come to the store after the games.

Joe Rogan 30:40 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 30:40 For Fat Tuesday.

Joe Rogan 30:41 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 30:45 ... but I never really spoke to him or anything, I just saw him-

Joe Rogan 30:47 I did Fear Factor with him.

Joey Diaz 30:48 Oh, that's right.

Joe Rogan 30:49 Yeah. Me and him, uh... It was hilarious. It was li- (laughs) it was like my... It was like a, a six-year-old and his dad. It was just like me standing next to him and he's so big. He's so gigantic.

Joey Diaz 31:01 (coughs) So what else is happening, my brother?

Joe Rogan 31:04 Everything's good, man.

Joey Diaz 31:05 You know they have those banyas by me, right?

Joe Rogan 31:07 Do they?

Joey Diaz 31:08 They have a-

Joe Rogan 31:08 The Russian ones?

Joey Diaz 31:08 They have a-

Joe Rogan 31:09 Ari goes to those in the city.

Joey Diaz 31:10 They have a beautiful one in Freehold.

Joe Rogan 31:12 Yeah?

Joey Diaz 31:13 And the fucking place has a restaurant to die for.

Joe Rogan 31:16 Really?

Joey Diaz 31:17 Yeah. Like-

Joe Rogan 31:17 Russian?

Joey Diaz 31:18 Yeah, you could stay there all fucking day.

Joe Rogan 31:19 A Russian restaurant?

Joey Diaz 31:20 I think it's everything.

Joe Rogan 31:22 Oh, okay.

Joey Diaz 31:22 It's everything. You get beat up with the leaves-

Joe Rogan 31:24 Oh.

Joey Diaz 31:24 ... the steam, the fucking cold plunge. They got a pool. They massage you.

Joe Rogan 31:29 Oh.

Joey Diaz 31:29 They have lunch. You could just go there and write.

Joe Rogan 31:32 Hmm.

Joey Diaz 31:32 If you just wanna write jokes, you go up to... They have a cafe in there. It's really fucking sharp.

Joe Rogan 31:37 That's smart.

Joey Diaz 31:38 I just... I'm not in the mood to get beat up with fucking leaves at this point in my life.

Joe Rogan 31:41 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 31:42 When I used to go to the YMCA in Hollywood, the good one, there were Russians in there in the mornings with the, with the hoods on.

Joe Rogan 31:49 Uh-huh.

Joey Diaz 31:50 They wear the hoods to keep the heat in. And they'd have the vodka there. I did this... 'Cause I used to... I was so heavy, I was embarrassed to go any other time of the day, so I would go at 5... 4:45.

Joe Rogan 32:01 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 32:01 And I would sit in the fucking banya with them, whatever, the steam bath, and then I would go in the other one, the sauna, the steam bath, and then I would swim. And I just swam more and more every day. This went on for about six months. One day, I get there about 5:00 AM, I open up the fucking door, and there's a dude completely balls-ass naked.

Joe Rogan 32:21 No.

Joey Diaz 32:21 Laying where the Russians sit, okay? Balls-ass naked, just on a fucking towel. Dick out, didn't give a Frenchman's fuck. I sat there for about five minutes and all I kept thinking was, "These Russians ain't gonna like it when they come in here." Sure enough, the fucking three Russians came in, they asked the guy to move, the dude didn't fucking move, and it was not good after that, right in the YMCA.

Joe Rogan 32:46 They beat his ass?

Joey Diaz 32:46 They fucking choked him and threw him out, naked. They picked him up by his fucking neck right in front of me. I just kept walking. I don't want no pa-... Dawg, I-I can't be around that shit. I'll g-... I'll go to jail for 20 years. Joe, they grabbed him by the fucking throat. They asked him one time, "Can we sit here?" Then he let him sit, but he wouldn't put a towel on.

Joe Rogan 33:03 Hmm.

Joey Diaz 33:04 That's what it was.

Joe Rogan 33:05 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 33:06 The guy had probably come from some fucking freaky spot and was trying to get his-

Joe Rogan 33:09 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 33:09 ... dick sucked in there. And I walked out and, uh, so all I heard was a couple thumps.

Joe Rogan 33:15 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 33:15 And then I saw the sauna door open and homie went flying out (laughs) like one of those fucking crackheads.

Joe Rogan 33:22 (laughs) Eddie Bravo and I used to work out at, uh, 24 Hour Fitness and one of the managers, they had just brought him over from the West Hollywood place. And, uh, he was giving me the war report from working in West Hollywood. He's like, "It's basically a gay pickup spot, that's all it is."

Joey Diaz 33:36 The 24 Hour Fitness?

Joe Rogan 33:37 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 33:38 On Santa Monica next to the, uh... Uh-

Joe Rogan 33:40 I don't even know if it's there anymore.

Joey Diaz 33:42 (coughs) Oh, that'll be there forever.

Joe Rogan 33:43 But is it there? Yeah.

Joey Diaz 33:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:44 But back in the day-

Joey Diaz 33:46 That'll be there forever.

Joe Rogan 33:46 Back in the day, in... When Eddie and I were working out together-

Joey Diaz 33:49 Whoo.

Joe Rogan 33:49 ... this was like 2001, 2002, this manager was like, "Dude, it's crazy." He goes, "There's just jizz all over the sauna. You go in the sauna, you gotta hose it down. There's just loads everywhere. These guys are just fucking each other everywhere. They find places to fuck." And they would go there to look for other buff guys to fuck. I mean, and, uh... Imagine, the problem with guys is there's no women. There's no one to go, "Hey, this is ridiculous. I don't wanna get pregnant. What have you been up to? You know, are we gonna use protection?" There's no voice of reason. It's just two guys, "You wanna fuck?" "I wanna fuck." "Let's fuck." And they're, they're all jacked up, right? So they're, they're probably doing testosterone or they're lifting a lot of weights and they've got high testosterone. They're horny all the time, they're taking drugs, and they're just fucking each other at the gym. He said the gym was barely a gym. He goes, "It's so weird to come here and it's a gym." He goes, "That gym was just a front for a gay pickup spot." These guys were just... I'm sure they were working out too, but they were just banging. They were doing a lot of banging.

Joey Diaz 34:50 Listen, bro, when you go through Boys Town...

Joe Rogan 34:53 Oh, yeah.

Joey Diaz 34:54 I think you had a bit of a bar-

Joe Rogan 34:55 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joey Diaz 34:55 ... before we left LA. People have to understand that when you go through Boys Town, you have one... At the end, by the time you hit Dan Tana's and you're about to hit... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:05 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 35:05 You ha- (laughs) you have two things on your mind, either, "I love gay people." (laughs) Or, "I can't stand these motherfuckers."

Joe Rogan 35:11 'Cause they're outta control. (laughs)

Joey Diaz 35:12 And, and with my world, "I love these motherfuckers."

Joe Rogan 35:15 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 35:15 The best being... This just happened like six, seven years ago, six, five, before the pandemic. We're driving on Santa Monica, me and my wife, we're going to eat at fucking Dan Tana's. We got an early reservation, right? Fucking, we're by the light. There's a bar on the right-hand side. UFC is on. Two guys are fighting. But meanwhile, there's, uh, a hundred guys with leather-

Joe Rogan 35:40 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 35:40 ... dancing to the UFC and me and my wife just look at each other and go, "Yea-... God bless them."

Joe Rogan 35:46 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 35:46 God ble-... That's what it is about Boys Town. They got the run of it.

Joe Rogan 35:50 Well, they also don't have to pretend.

Joey Diaz 35:53 No.

Joe Rogan 35:53 Right?

Joey Diaz 35:54 No.

Joe Rogan 35:54 Like, they don't have to pretend they want something other than what they want. Whereas, like, there's a lot of men that they feel like to pick up women in a bar, they have to pretend to be something different, they have to act a little different. They're... They have to play to what the lady likes. Where these guys are just fucking.

Joey Diaz 36:09 They just fucked.

Joe Rogan 36:10 They just fucked.

Joey Diaz 36:11 Listen, Christy Miller?

Joe Rogan 36:12 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 36:12 Remember Christy Miller-

Joe Rogan 36:13 Yeah, sure.

Joey Diaz 36:13 ... from New York? She's in New York.

Joe Rogan 36:14 Sure.

Joey Diaz 36:15 Christy Miller.

Joe Rogan 36:15 She's in New York now?

Joey Diaz 36:16 Yeah, she's been in New York. And, uh, before Christy Miller moved to New York, she was working at Gold's, um, I-Var, maybe, down there.

Joe Rogan 36:26 Oh, okay.

Joey Diaz 36:26 You remember that?

Joe Rogan 36:27 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 36:27 It's over there by-

Joe Rogan 36:28 It's another gay spot.

Joey Diaz 36:29 Tremendous gay spot.

Joe Rogan 36:31 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 36:31 So she... But here's the fucking deal. I was 426 pounds-

Joe Rogan 36:36 Right.

Joey Diaz 36:36 And Christy, out of the love of her heart, goes, "Take this membership for free."... don't go at night.

Narrator 36:42 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 36:43 You know, don't go at night.

Narrator 36:45 Like, there's werewolves?

Joey Diaz 36:46 And they'll fucking take care of you in there. And I'm like, "Really?" I tell you, I went in there maybe for three or four months before I signed up at the Y, 'cause the Y told me, "You're too fat, we can't have you here."

Narrator 36:57 Really?

Joey Diaz 36:58 The first time I went to the Y-

Narrator 36:59 The Y told you you're too fat to work out?

Joey Diaz 37:01 Dog, when I went to the Y the first time, I signed up for a consultant thing, like, somebody for free-

Narrator 37:07 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 37:07 ... to help with you. I didn't wanna come to you guys. I was too embarrassed. I thought I was gonna die. I got on a fucking treadmill. I didn't even make 30 seconds on level two.

Narrator 37:17 Hmm.

Joey Diaz 37:18 And he goes, "Listen, this, you gotta go out and walk." He goes, "Come back here when you lose 50 pounds." He goes, "Right now, you gotta walk."

Narrator 37:25 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 37:26 He goes, "Do you ever walk?"

Narrator 37:28 Right.

Joey Diaz 37:28 And I was like, "Yeah, you know, to the store, to the drug dealers." You know.

Narrator 37:32 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 37:32 To the comedy store, you know. Yeah, you know. But no. And he goes, "Just walk." He goes, "I want you to do what Dolce does with the tap the mailboxes. Go for a walk and tap two mailboxes one day, and then three the next." Whatever.

Narrator 37:44 Hmm, as far as you go? Yeah.

Joey Diaz 37:45 So Christy gave me that thing, and I would go over there at night. I knew little things, you know, from lifting as a kid. But every time I was struggling over there, some fucking hot guy came over.

Narrator 37:56 Dang.

Joey Diaz 37:57 And he would always go, "Excuse me, can I help you out?" And he would talk to me. And yeah, maybe they wanted to fuck me, but I doubt it. I was 418 pounds.

Narrator 38:05 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 38:05 You had to fucking get a, a fucking crowbar to get to my asshole at that point. So, I mean, these guys were fucking dynamite, dawg. I would love to sit here and tell you that they hit on me, not one time. In fact, they were very helpful. Would they hit on me? They were setting me up, you know. They're wolves.

Narrator 38:21 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 38:23 Don't ever think... And that's what shocked us, like-

Narrator 38:26 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 38:27 ... my friend told me about that website he used to go on, Boys Ahoy, that was just gay men.

Narrator 38:32 (laughs) Boys Ahoy?

Joey Diaz 38:32 Right? Yeah.

Narrator 38:33 Boys Ahoy?

Joey Diaz 38:33 See, it's, it's still around.

Narrator 38:35 Boys Ahoy?

Joey Diaz 38:36 Boys Ahoy.

Narrator 38:36 What a great name for a website.

Joey Diaz 38:38 Okay, now he had belonged to other ones, Grindr. You know, he's a gay dude. He told me all this shit. He said when he signed up for Boys Ahoy, it was a complete different situation. They just wanna fuck.

Narrator 38:49 Yeah. That-

Joey Diaz 38:49 They just wanna fuck.

Narrator 38:50 There's no female equivalent?

Joey Diaz 38:53 No, there's no way. They met at the-

Narrator 38:55 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 38:55 He would meet them at the hot dog place up a block from the store.

Narrator 38:58 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 38:59 The Carnie's.

Narrator 38:59 Pinks? Oh, Carnie's?

Joey Diaz 39:01 Carnie's.

Narrator 39:01 Oh, Carnie's. Yeah.

Joey Diaz 39:01 They would take them to the Standard, fuck them, and then they'd come to the comedy store at nine o'clock.

Narrator 39:05 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 39:05 And they'd go their way and you'd go your way.

Narrator 39:08 Uh, Boys Ahoy gay chat and friend apps on Google Play. (laughs)

Joey Diaz 39:14 (laughs)

Narrator 39:15 Good for them.

Joey Diaz 39:16 Yeah.

Narrator 39:17 Good for them.

Joey Diaz 39:17 And you gotta fucking go, wow.

Narrator 39:19 Bro, when, when those guys get old, it gets rough. It gets rough.

Joey Diaz 39:23 I don't know.

Narrator 39:24 Yeah, a lot of them guys, when they get old, it gets rough.

Joey Diaz 39:27 Dog, I just went to Jingle Bell to see my man Jelly. Okay? And, uh-

Narrator 39:32 Jingle Bells? What's that?

Joey Diaz 39:32 Jingle Bell is a big thing they do to... Z100, they do a thing in New York at Madison Square Garden. I never went to it, but I got a daughter now. And you get talked into those stupid shit.

Narrator 39:42 Right.

Joey Diaz 39:42 And I don't want my kid going into the city by myself, with my wife, okay?

Narrator 39:45 Right.

Joey Diaz 39:45 She don't know the macha- mechanisms of it. So I went with, like, you know, nine kids from the neighborhood. Jelly hooked us up. Me, three moms, and like, the rest were just kids. Girls and one boy. And I took them to go see fucking, uh, Jelly, Olivia Rodrigo. But Cher was there, okay? Cher was doing an appearance. I get there, everybody's cool, but there's two old school gay dudes. They're probably in their 60s, and they're those old school New York geezers, gay guys. They were gay when it was tough to be gay.

Narrator 40:24 Hmm.

Joey Diaz 40:24 You get what I'm saying? Like-

Narrator 40:25 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 40:25 ... they've been in New York all their lives. They started at CBGBs or-

Narrator 40:28 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 40:29 ... the Meat Market or whatever fucking gay haunt. And now they're mature, they, they were married before the law.

Narrator 40:35 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 40:35 Dog, these motherfuckers were miserable. They just sat there, and every once in a while they would look at each other and look at the kids and go...

Narrator 40:43 Damn.

Joey Diaz 40:43 The whole fucking night. I'm like, "Why are these fucking guys here?" Meanwhile, I got a girl and a little boy, a Jewish kid, jumping up and down, singing into the phone the whole fucking thing. And I'm like, "Look at this fucking Jewish kid. His brother's fighting over there in Israel, he's over here (laughs) watching this fucking thing, jumping up and down like a, half a fucking fag." Now, the two gay guys haven't said a word. They just keep looking around hating, hating everybody. Dog, when they said Cher coming out to the stage, these motherfucking busted out of their capes and they got up and they were dancing like the kids. You should've seen them. They had to be in their 67, 68-

Narrator 41:19 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 41:19 They both had the, the hair. They were fucking dance... They were hugging each other. << Take me home >> Whatever that song she fucking sings. When Cher walked out, these motherfucking... You see, like, 10,000 people just left.

Narrator 41:32 Really?

Joey Diaz 41:32 'Cause there was a lot of gay people hitting. It's Christmastime. They wanna be out here.

Narrator 41:36 Just to see Cher?

Joey Diaz 41:36 Huh?

Narrator 41:37 Just to see Cher?

Joey Diaz 41:38 82 years old.

Narrator 41:41 She's 82?

41:43 77.

Joey Diaz 41:44 What is it?

Narrator 41:45 77.

41:45 Close enough. (laughs)

Joey Diaz 41:48 77, 82.

Narrator 41:49 Yeah, it's old. That's Biden's age.

Joey Diaz 41:52 How the fuck did Jimmy, how the fuck did a girl... How the fuck is Jimmy Page 80 years old?

Narrator 42:00 Yeah, right?

Joey Diaz 42:01 That motherfucker turned 80.

Narrator 42:03 She looks good.

Joey Diaz 42:03 She looks fucking dynamite. Look at her.

Narrator 42:08 How she sound?

Joey Diaz 42:16 It's lip synced.

Narrator 42:17 Hard to tell.

42:17 ... recorded. Like, it's recorded, but-

42:19 Yeah.

42:19 That's fine.

42:20 Let me see, let me see if it's recorded. Hear it.

42:23 So sad that you're leaving. Takes time, but believe it... It's not recorded, it's loaded and processing.

Joey Diaz 42:32 Yeah, that's the show I was at.

Narrator 42:34 ... never been done. You're gonna be the lonely one.

42:41 Am I-

Joe Rogan 42:42 Maybe not. Maybe not.

Joey Diaz 42:42 It might be recorded. It's hard to say.

Joe Rogan 42:45 Often too, they, they do, they'll... She might be singing live, but you're not... It's so buried in the mix that you're hearing, you would never really be able to tell. And she looks like she was singing that song.

Joey Diaz 42:54 It looks like she's singing that.

Joe Rogan 42:55 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 42:55 It looks like she's singing.

Joe Rogan 42:56 That sounds pretty fucking good. (rock music) They could just be mixing. They might mix in-

Joey Diaz 43:01 Good for her.

Joe Rogan 43:02 Yeah. Maybe she can hit some of the notes-

Joey Diaz 43:04 Good for her.

Joe Rogan 43:04 ... not all of them or something.

Joey Diaz 43:05 Dog, I saw him when I was-

Joe Rogan 43:06 This guy's a young man.

Joey Diaz 43:07 I saw him when I was a fucking kid-

Joe Rogan 43:09 Yeah?

Joey Diaz 43:10 ... in Union City walking into pastoral music with fucking The King, Gregg Allman.

Joe Rogan 43:16 Wow.

Joey Diaz 43:17 That nasty motherfucker.

Joe Rogan 43:18 Back in the day.

Joey Diaz 43:18 And I didn't know who he was. I'd love to tell you I knew who Gregg Allman was.

Joe Rogan 43:21 Gregg Allman was an animal.

Joey Diaz 43:22 I just knew something wasn't right. But I saw her and I was like, "Where the fuck is Sunny?"

Joe Rogan 43:27 Bro.

Joey Diaz 43:28 You know? I was like a little... I grew up on that stupid fucking show. So-

Joe Rogan 43:31 You know what song I love of his? I'm No Angel.

Joey Diaz 43:33 Oh. Bro, he's got-

Joe Rogan 43:35 What a song. Give me that, Jamie.

Joey Diaz 43:37 That dude-

Joe Rogan 43:38 What a... That dude lived. You hear his voice? Like that you only get...

Narrator 43:44 Stranger to the street. Now I've got my label.

Joe Rogan 43:49 You'll...

Narrator 43:49 So I won't crumble at your feet. I know, baby. So I've got scars.

Joey Diaz 43:58 (coughs)

Narrator 43:58 That pump me up with heat. I'm half crazy. Come on, love me, baby. So you find me hard to handle. Well, easier to hold. So you like my pearly jingle. That never leave me cold. So I might steal the diamond dive. And bring you back some gold. I'm no angel.

Joe Rogan 44:30 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 44:31 The thing about him is, well, the reason I called Jelly that day about three years ago after I heard that one song, I called him and I go, "Listen, bro. You're bringing back something that this country has not heard in 30 years."

Joe Rogan 44:44 Mm.

Joey Diaz 44:44 All these type of songs like these singers-

Joe Rogan 44:46 Mm.

Joey Diaz 44:46 ... Gregg Allman-

Joe Rogan 44:47 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 44:48 ... a couple of them, even the dude from Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Joe Rogan 44:50 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 44:51 The way they sang, it was deep. You felt-

Joe Rogan 44:53 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 44:54 ... their years. You felt what they had gone through.

Joe Rogan 44:57 Felt... Yeah.

Joey Diaz 44:57 And I think that's what Jelly brought back to us.

Joe Rogan 45:00 Oh, yeah.

Joey Diaz 45:01 That's what he brought... That little piece, that's what he brought back to-

Joe Rogan 45:04 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 45:04 That type of, you know. I still listen to a lot of Eat A Peach, Allman's, and I still listen to Live From The fucking Beacon, whatever the fuck theater they do all the time.

Joe Rogan 45:14 You know, we have that Green Room playlist, Midnight Rider's the first song.

Joey Diaz 45:17 That's the fucking... Yeah. That gets me-

Joe Rogan 45:19 That's the first song. Sometimes I switch it up, sometimes it's I'm Your Boogie Man. That's another one. Depends on how we're feeling, Joey. Depends on how we're feeling.

Joey Diaz 45:27 That's Casey and the Sunshine Band?

Joe Rogan 45:28 Oh, yeah.

Joey Diaz 45:29 You know that motherfucker.

Joe Rogan 45:29 Give me, give me some I'm Your Boogie Man.

Joey Diaz 45:31 Is he still touring?

Joe Rogan 45:32 Give me some volume too. I don't know, man. But this is the song, when we would walk into the arena, when we do arenas, when we walk into an arena, like as we're walking into the green room, I like to play I'm Your Boogie Man 'cause that's one of those ones it just... Listen to this. (instrumental music plays) You're walking in, the joint gets fired up, the ice cubes go in the glass, the whiskey gets poured. Cheers. Music goes up. Everybody gets ready. Show's about to start.

Narrator 46:01 I'm your boogie man. That's what I am. I'm here to-

Joey Diaz 46:05 Fuck.

Narrator 46:06 ... do whatever I can.

Joe Rogan 46:09 Be it early morning, late afternoon.

Narrator 46:13 Or at midnight. It's never too soon. I wanna feel you up-

Joe Rogan 46:19 That was back when you could use rainbows.

Narrator 46:21 ... and make you wish you were around. 'Cause I wanna do it all. Yeah.

Joey Diaz 46:24 Oh, man.

Joe Rogan 46:25 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 46:25 You know who was here last night?

Joe Rogan 46:27 Who?

Joey Diaz 46:27 Motherfucker, nobody told me. Cool and the Gang was here last night.

Joe Rogan 46:31 No way.

Joey Diaz 46:32 At the movie fucking theater.

Joe Rogan 46:33 No way.

Joey Diaz 46:34 When I got to the hotel room I looked at the menu and it said, yeah, uh, entertainment for the month. Fucking...

Joe Rogan 46:40 That was the thing that I didn't realize about moving here. I thought I was gonna miss out on like big artists, like big acts. But then when I got here I'm like, "Oh, they all come to town. They all come here."

Joey Diaz 46:53 This is... They all gotta stop here.

Joe Rogan 46:54 They all come here.

Joey Diaz 46:55 Gotta say hello.

Joe Rogan 46:56 Cat Williams was just here-

Joey Diaz 46:57 Got to say hello.

Joe Rogan 46:57 ... with Mark Curry.

Joey Diaz 46:59 Then he-

Joe Rogan 46:59 Remember our guy Mark Curry?

Joey Diaz 47:00 Fuck yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:01 Mark Curry's the man.

Joey Diaz 47:02 Mark Curry's a sweetheart. I just bumped into him.

Joe Rogan 47:05 Do you have his number?

Joey Diaz 47:06 No. I-

Joe Rogan 47:07 I gotta get his number.

Joey Diaz 47:07 I got him into the ha-ha, and then he was working a little at the store before the pandemic hit.

Joe Rogan 47:14 My man Willy D reached out to me the other day and he said that he saw him, he said Mark Curry was on fire. Mark Curry was opening up for Cat. He said it was insane.

Joey Diaz 47:20 Talk, it's 40 years of standup.

Joe Rogan 47:22 Insane show.

Joey Diaz 47:22 What do you expect?

Joe Rogan 47:23 Oh, Mark was-

Joey Diaz 47:24 Mark was always a killer.

Joe Rogan 47:25 ... so underrated. So underrated. So under- We'd see him at the store, he was so polished. But you know what? He just made a ton of money off that show. I was like, "Eh, I'm good. I'm gonna chill."

Joey Diaz 47:34 He's a great guy too.

Joe Rogan 47:36 Yeah. The best. Nicest guy in the world.

Joey Diaz 47:38 Nicest guy in the world. Always great to young comics.

Joe Rogan 47:41 Yes.

Joey Diaz 47:41 When I walked in the store he was always very nice to me.

Joe Rogan 47:43 Great to everybody.

Joey Diaz 47:43 So-

Joe Rogan 47:43 You didn't have to earn y- you know, a conversation with him. He'd talk to door people and everything.

Joey Diaz 47:47 So Mark Curry s- is opening for Cat on the Roof?

Joe Rogan 47:50 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 47:51 Yeah?

Joe Rogan 47:51 At least that show in Austin.

Joey Diaz 47:54 And what, did they do to Moody?

Joe Rogan 47:55 I don't know what he did. He did a big place though. Cat's killing it. (laughs) It's like his, his ticket sales went up like 800%.

Joey Diaz 48:04 (laughs)

Guest (unidentified, short contribution) 48:05 Oh, they did the HEB Center.

Joe Rogan 48:08 HEB Center. Yeah, so they did a big place. That's that 15,000 seat place. Look at that. Come on, son. Come on, son. Let's go.

Joey Diaz 48:16 (laughs) I always loved Cat.

Joe Rogan 48:19 I love Cat.

Joey Diaz 48:20 So I, I don't know.

Joe Rogan 48:21 He did an interview, he said he w- I wouldn't have him on. I'm like, "What are you talking about? I'll have you on. I'll have you on."

Joey Diaz 48:25 Shh.

Joe Rogan 48:25 Let's go.

Joey Diaz 48:26 Two times.

Joe Rogan 48:27 Any time.

Joey Diaz 48:27 I'll have you on two times.

Joe Rogan 48:28 Whenever you wanna come by, call me. Call me. I'll fuck you... I'll fire this place up at 3:00 in the morning for you. I'll wake up. I'm always into doing something.... I think, uh, we're gonna get a studio downtown. (sniffs) I think I'm gonna get a studio in one of them penthouses with a view, so I could do nighttime podcasts. Like, after the podcast or after the shows, like say if we do a seven o'clock show at The Mothership, hey, let's g- just go fuck around. Let's go do a podcast for a couple hours.

Joey Diaz 48:54 Like we did at the Icehouse.

Joe Rogan 48:55 Exactly.

Joey Diaz 48:56 Those were great days.

Joe Rogan 48:57 Those were great days, when Red Band had that cool studio right there at the Icehouse.

Joey Diaz 49:00 (coughs) And you'd go in and out.

Joe Rogan 49:01 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 49:01 I won-

Joe Rogan 49:01 And we would go onto the stage on Icehouse Chronicles. We had a good time.

Joey Diaz 49:05 I wonder what the Icehouse looks like now?

Joe Rogan 49:07 (clicks tongue) It's supposed to be nice.

Joey Diaz 49:08 Really nice.

Joe Rogan 49:08 It's very cleaned up. A lot of guys don't like it 'cause they miss the dirt. I get it. You miss, like, it was an old club. It was the longest running club in the country, the Icehouse was. Yes. Icehouse was the longest running standup comedy club in the country. It was older than the Store. Icehouse existed before The Store, and it was, uh, it was originally an actual icehouse, where people would go to get ice, and then it became, like, some sort of a rock and roll, uh, club. And then it became a comedy club in the early '70s. Been a comedy club forever, the longest-running comedy club even before The Store.

Joey Diaz 49:45 (clears throat)

Joe Rogan 49:46 (coughs)

Joey Diaz 49:46 It really was a gem.

Joe Rogan 49:47 Oh, it was amazing place.

Joey Diaz 49:48 That club was a gem, and I'll tell you why. 'Cause it just took you out of that whole LA shit-

Joe Rogan 49:53 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 49:53 ... for an hour.

Joe Rogan 49:54 Exactly.

Joey Diaz 49:54 It took you outta there. People-

Joe Rogan 49:55 Put you out with regular people.

Joey Diaz 49:57 Those people in the little, in that big room that would come on Friday and Saturday-

Joe Rogan 50:01 Oh.

Joey Diaz 50:01 ... I don't know why anybody didn't take their specials there.

Joe Rogan 50:03 A lot of guys did.

Joey Diaz 50:04 They, they just come to laugh there.

Joe Rogan 50:05 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 50:05 They came prepared.

Joe Rogan 50:06 Good, good people. It was a good place to be.

Joey Diaz 50:09 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 50:09 Good staff.

Joey Diaz 50:09 That's what I miss about LA, the Armenians.

Joe Rogan 50:12 Yeah. (laughs)

Joey Diaz 50:13 I don't ha- uh, they're up north. See, New Jersey's got a lot of Armenians, but up north.

Joe Rogan 50:17 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 50:17 So when I moved here, the Armenian would call me all the time-

Joe Rogan 50:20 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 50:20 ... and say, "You want to buy a gun? My friend, he'll see you."

Joe Rogan 50:25 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 50:25 But when I went to my hometown, I had Armenians up there growing up, not a lot of them, like, uh, this one wrestler kid. But when I went up there about five years ago, I noticed they have an Armenian church in North Bergen.

Joe Rogan 50:36 Oh, yeah?

Joey Diaz 50:36 So I was like, "Yeah, they got 'em up here. They're everywhere," but I don't have 'em down by me.

Joe Rogan 50:41 Not like Glendale?

Joey Diaz 50:42 No.

Joe Rogan 50:42 You were out-

Joey Diaz 50:43 I miss 'em.

Joe Rogan 50:43 You were out next to 'em.

Joey Diaz 50:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:45 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 50:45 No, no, and I just became-

Joe Rogan 50:46 Those are the last manly men.

Joey Diaz 50:48 Yeah, they're fucking outta their minds, all of 'em.

Joe Rogan 50:49 They're the unapologetically masculine men.

Joey Diaz 50:52 Dog, that was still, to today, my best drug dealer. I miss him. We still talk once in a while.

Joe Rogan 50:57 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 50:57 He's still fucking nuts. He's still... I, I don't know how these guys could do it. I mean, I was there with him 20 years ago. For him to st- and he's still at that race-

Joe Rogan 51:10 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 51:10 ... at that pace. I'm sorry. He's not at the pace like, "I go out Friday and Saturday." No.

Joe Rogan 51:15 Eh.

Joey Diaz 51:16 No. No.

Joe Rogan 51:18 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 51:18 You know, now he just goes to Vegas for the week.

Joe Rogan 51:20 (sighs) Oh, boy.

Joey Diaz 51:21 Now he just goes to Vegas, 100 Xanax, couple ounces of blow.

Joe Rogan 51:25 Do you think you could ever do a residency somewhere, like a Vegas-type deal-

Joey Diaz 51:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:29 ... where people would come to see you?

Joey Diaz 51:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:31 You think about living in Vegas, Joey, is one, there's great- it's great tax benefits. But two, you don't live in Vegas.

Joey Diaz 51:37 No, you live in-

Joe Rogan 51:38 You live in like Henderson.

Joey Diaz 51:38 Henderson. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:39 Yeah, or somewhere nice.

Joey Diaz 51:40 People like it.

Joe Rogan 51:41 Henderson's nice. There's-

Joey Diaz 51:42 People like it.

Joe Rogan 51:43 What's that other place? There's another area of Vegas that's real nice that's out further away that a lot of people live in. Um, where R- Red Rocks is? Where's Red Rocks?

Guest (unidentified, short contribution) 51:54 I think, I was gonna say that, but that's not what it's called.

Joe Rogan 51:56 Red Rocks is nice.

Joey Diaz 51:57 In Colorado?

Guest (unidentified, short contribution) 51:59 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 51:59 Uh, no, no, no, Red Rock, uh, Casino.

Joey Diaz 52:01 Oh, okay. I'm sorry.

Guest (unidentified, short contribution) 52:02 That might be what they call it, I guess.

Joe Rogan 52:03 The area of Red Rock?

Guest (unidentified, short contribution) 52:04 Yeah, I mean, that's over there in the-

Joe Rogan 52:05 That's a nice area.

Guest (unidentified, short contribution) 52:06 ... canyon and park and then there's-

Joe Rogan 52:06 That's where, uh, the Fertittas have that club, Red Rock.

Guest (unidentified, short contribution) 52:10 Summer.

Joe Rogan 52:10 That's, uh, (laughs) I saw Dana White gambling there, and he was down $600,000 playing blackjack. I was like, "You fucking psychopath. What are you doing?" 'Cause I knew he did that, but I never went with him to do it 'til this one time. These guys are all gambling. Taylor Lujan lost $120,000 in the first five minutes, and I'm fucking shitting my pants. I, I got, I'm getting anxiety. I can't watch this.

Joey Diaz 52:32 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 52:33 This is ins- this is insane.

Joey Diaz 52:34 I know.

Joe Rogan 52:34 Taylor wound up winning. He, he, I think he was up 60 and he quit. (sniffs) Then Dana wound up winning. Dana was down 600 and he wound up being up 600.

Joey Diaz 52:42 Dana's good at cards.

Joe Rogan 52:43 Oh, he's a wizard. He got kicked out of the Palms back in the day. He won like $7 million one night, and they, they gave him the boot.

Joey Diaz 52:50 (laughs) They said, "You're banned." Do you play cards?

Joe Rogan 52:53 No. I mean, I did with my wife. I went with my wife, uh, with Whitney and Lex Friedman. We went to Vegas a while back during the pandemic. Whitney had a corporate gig, so it was like a, it was a s- she did standup at some lady's house. So we went to this, this rich lady had this house in Vegas, and Dana Carvey and Whitney Cummings, and I introduced Whitney (laughs) 'cause I was just there and I was drunk. We just went from Andrew Schulz's wedding. So we went to Andrew Schulz's wedding in Montecito. We flew in a jet with Lex Friedman hammered out of his fucking mind. Whitney and my wife, we all went to Vegas (door thuds) for, like, the day.

Joey Diaz 53:29 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 53:29 Like, f- so we got there at, like, 9:00 PM. The, the gig is at 10:00. She, she does her gig, and then we go out and we would go and play cards, and it was-

Joey Diaz 53:39 (coughs)

Joe Rogan 53:39 ... it was a, it was a hilarious night. Lex Friedman got in a push-up contest with David Goggins. I called Goggins and said we were in town. Goggins met us there. We hung out with Goggins and his wife, and we played a little bit of cards, but I'm, I'm not good at it.

Joey Diaz 53:52 Did you ever play poker-

Joe Rogan 53:53 I quit, quit.

Joey Diaz 53:53 ... with five guys?

Joe Rogan 53:54 Nope, nope. Poker, to me, was always the thing that killed pool action because you can't miss when you're playing poker. You can win or lose, so if you're a gambling addict, there's a lot of guys that are like... The thing about pool is making the shot. It's like the, the nine ball's on, it's like it's eight to eight on a race to nine. You're shooting the nine ball for all the fucking marbles, and (groans) that's what I like. I like these high-pressure moments. I like the, the difficulty of, like, performing under pressure. And cards didn't have any of that, but it had the gambling. So all the gambling addicts who were just addicted to gambling, they didn't wanna play pool anymore. They wanted to play cards. So we'd have all these gin games, gin rummy games. These guys would be playing all these card games when you couldn't get any pool games.So to me, I was like, "This is not good. I don't like this."

Joey Diaz 54:45 I can never sit with five guys all night. Like, I knew people who played two, three days.

Joe Rogan 54:49 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 54:49 I don't know. I can't do that. (clicks tongue) I'm not a game guy. Even Monopoly as a kid, once you started buying hotels, I'm done.

Joe Rogan 54:56 Poker is a very skillful game and I'm sure I would love it. It's just like go-

Joey Diaz 55:00 Yeah. I, I think I would love it too.

Joe Rogan 55:01 It's like golf to me. Like, uh, my friend's husband, he plays professionally. He plays poker. He lives out here. And he goes everywhere. He goes to these tournaments. There's these card places. There's one out in Round Rock that's this big fucking card, card place. And, you know, like, high level guys go there and they play, and they play tournaments and he makes money. Like, he's a real poker player.

Joey Diaz 55:21 Those guys -

Joe Rogan 55:22 Ari was a real poker player.

Joey Diaz 55:23 Ari could play.

Joe Rogan 55:24 Ari lived in LA, he played a lot of, like, real poker. But to me ... You know how I am. I can't, I can't get into another thing. I'm too crazy. I get into another thing, I'm playing... Um, you know, I got into archery. I'm shooting arrows three hours a day. The only reason why I can't do it more is my shoulder gives out. I get tired. Other ... Otherwise, I'd be there all day. I'm a psychopath. And if you give me something like poker, where all I have to do is sit there and do this, and I, and I get better at it, I figure it out, I'll be doing that 12 hours a day. I can't do it. I'm too crazy.

Joey Diaz 55:52 I don't have time for that either.

Joe Rogan 55:53 I don't have time.

Joey Diaz 55:53 I never, I never ... I, I don't even know how to play dice.

Joe Rogan 55:56 Uh, uh-

Joey Diaz 55:56 Like, street dice on the street.

Joe Rogan 55:58 I don't know how to do that.

Joey Diaz 55:58 I walked by games all the fucking time as a kid. I didn't... I'd stop for two minutes, said hello, but I didn't play.

Joe Rogan 56:04 There was a 30% chance that someone was gonna get punched or shot if there was ever a dice game.

Joey Diaz 56:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:08 There's a (laughs) 30% chance. I always thought that was like-

Joey Diaz 56:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:13 This is, like, a high level of potential f- violent activity 'cause people get mad. They lose. They think someone's cheating. Someone's got loaded dice. Someone says they bet this, but they didn't bet this. They bet that. And it's just, like, arguments and shit.

Joey Diaz 56:26 Look, I used to go to this place. Not used to go. I went twice with a, a crazy friend of mine, Chris. You fuck- 181st Street. It was a parking garage, maybe six floors. You just pulled in. There was a guy standing there and all of a sudden he'd open up the door and you pulled into a, a car elevator that put your car up. The car brought you up to the sixth floor. You fucking come out of your car. You walk out of the elevator. Joe, you thought you were in fucking Vegas.

Joe Rogan 56:54 Really?

Joey Diaz 56:55 Everything was dark. Poker, blackjack, eh, all that shit.

Joe Rogan 56:59 Ooh, those are exciting.

Joey Diaz 57:00 Cocaine.

Joe Rogan 57:01 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 57:02 Hookers there. There was hookers on site.

Joe Rogan 57:04 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 57:04 People snorting on site. Twice I went there. I'm like, "This is too much for me."

Joe Rogan 57:08 Wow.

Joey Diaz 57:09 One time, me and Chris, we drove a girl out of there that we grew up with, and then we all went into a hotel and snorted coke till the next day.

Joe Rogan 57:16 So, how do they get away with that? Do they make a deal with the cops? They pay the cops off? What do they do?

Joey Diaz 57:21 Probably. Probably.

Joe Rogan 57:22 Get everybody to keep their mouth shut? You can't get everybody to keep their mouth shut.

Joey Diaz 57:24 I mean, this is, this is 30 years ago.

Joe Rogan 57:25 Right. Right.

Joey Diaz 57:26 So this is a different-

Joe Rogan 57:27 Different world.

Joey Diaz 57:28 ... mi- mindset.

Joe Rogan 57:29 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 57:29 Up- It was up 181st or-

Joe Rogan 57:30 And all the cops were dirty back then.

Joey Diaz 57:32 (clears throat) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:33 You would always find dirty cops back then.

Joey Diaz 57:35 Yeah. You know. I mean, but I- I don't know how they'd do it. They'd figure it out. You'd play ... You'd have to pay, like, the, the battalion ch- You, you know. It's just some-

Joe Rogan 57:44 You're paying somebody.

Joey Diaz 57:44 You gotta pay somebody.

Joe Rogan 57:45 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 57:45 You gotta pay them good money.

Joe Rogan 57:46 Yeah. You gotta give them a piece so they have a vested interest in keeping the place open.

Joey Diaz 57:51 See, I knew people who had that, but they'd have moving locations every day.

Joe Rogan 57:54 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 57:55 So the cops could never get a hold of you. It's like when you book numbers-

Joe Rogan 57:57 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 57:57 ... on the phone. We had to get a new apartment every three weeks.

Joe Rogan 58:02 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 58:03 Not our- uh, not a personal apartment-

Joe Rogan 58:05 Right, to, to book out of.

Joey Diaz 58:06 ... but like, to book out of.

Joe Rogan 58:07 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 58:08 So I would get a ... My mom would get a- an apartment and then she would get three different apartments out of that apartment so nobody could read what you're doing. Then a month later, next door.

Joe Rogan 58:18 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 58:18 Then a month later, around the block. Then you're back to that fucking building.

Joe Rogan 58:20 That's hilarious.

Joey Diaz 58:21 So you'd pretty much pay rent on it. All those years, rent was cheap. Now, you get fucking- you ...

Joe Rogan 58:27 Isn't it crazy how much underground gambling there was with bookies and the numbers? And the numbers was a big one.

Joey Diaz 58:33 Numbers was big. You know, underground casinos. I reme- I used to go with my buddy, Martin Perez, to this judo school. I never wanted to go. I us- I was more of a karate guy. But I would go with him. And it was, like, this old fucking Japanese guy and this old Cuban dude, and they would throw each other around.

Joe Rogan 58:50 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 58:50 There was a Russian guy there. This is the '70s. And up the corner, there was a place where people would play cards. And I found out my stepfather would go there. And one day, I went to judo. On the way out, as I was walking towards the bus on 7th Street, I saw unmarked cars. I saw, like, two unmarked cars. And when I got home that night, my stepdad was getting ready. I go, "Where you going?" He goes, "I'm going to play cards." And I go, "You going down to 8th Street?" He goes, "Yeah." I go, "Don't go down there." He goes, "Why?" I go, " 'Cause I was down there with Martin and I saw the fucking two unmarked cars down there." And he goes, "What the fuck do you know?"

Joe Rogan 59:24 Uh ...

Joey Diaz 59:24 I go, "What do I know that since I've been fucking five, I've been learning to be a lookout? 'Cause I'm five. That's my job, to look."

Joe Rogan 59:32 Right.

Joey Diaz 59:32 To keep my fucking eyes open. And I would just pick up shit like that. I would just pick up two unmarked cars. He didn't go. He thought about it and he goes, "Okay, if you saw them, I won't go." Sure enough, the next day I woke up, he gave me 50 bucks.

Joe Rogan 59:45 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 59:45 (laughs) He's like, "Dog, how the fuck did you know?"

Joe Rogan 59:47 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 59:47 'Cause I'm telling you, I fucking know.

Joe Rogan 59:50 They got raided?

Joey Diaz 59:51 They didn't know in those days.

Joe Rogan 59:52 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 59:52 The cops would go early and they'd park, like, two blocks away 'cause they're fucking lazy.

Joe Rogan 59:57 Right.

Joey Diaz 59:57 You know, if you're gonna raid somebody, c- stay the fuck away from there all goddamn day.

Joe Rogan 1:00:01 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:00:01 Then come in at night. Don't fucking lurk all day.

Joe Rogan 1:00:03 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:00:03 We know. Fucking Goodfellas. They were following them all fucking day-

Joe Rogan 1:00:06 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:00:06 ... with a helicopter. Just bust them, cocksucker.

Joe Rogan 1:00:08 Yeah. Well, they wanna terrorize you before they get you.

Joey Diaz 1:00:12 Well, they wanna see what ... They want to see how you respond.

Joe Rogan 1:00:15 Well, if you're cracked out, you're gonna go to try to get rid of something or you're gonna go to try to hide something.

Joey Diaz 1:00:20 And they got your phone tapped. They got everything.

Joe Rogan 1:00:22 Yeah. Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:00:22 So they put a cop car in front of your house to see where you react.

Joe Rogan 1:00:26 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:00:26 To see how your reaction would be-

Joe Rogan 1:00:27 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:00:28 ... for the day. And then you start cleaning the house. You know, you call people, get everything outta your house, whatever the fuck it is.

Joe Rogan 1:00:34 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:00:34 And then they come in and, you know. But it's a different world out there now. So-

Joe Rogan 1:00:39 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 1:00:39 I don't know nothing about that fucking world now.

Joe Rogan 1:00:41 Yeah. It's a different world.

Joey Diaz 1:00:42 And I don't wanna know.

Joe Rogan 1:00:44 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:00:44 'Cause now they'll shoot you just for being there. And that is, you know-

Joe Rogan 1:00:48 It's a different world in terms of law enforcement too. Yeah. People are getting out of jail like that now. (snaps fingers)

Joey Diaz 1:00:53 And they still won't drop my warrant in fucking Seattle.

Joe Rogan 1:00:56 Ugh, uh, you can't even get arrested in Seattle for what you did.

Joey Diaz 1:00:59 You can't-

Joe Rogan 1:00:59 You wouldn't even have a record.

Joey Diaz 1:01:01 You cannot... Fuck, you could hit somebody with a stick and be out that afternoon.

Joe Rogan 1:01:05 Yeah. You wouldn't have a record in Seattle.

Joey Diaz 1:01:07 Dog, they... I'm still going back and forth with these motherfuckers.

Joe Rogan 1:01:09 Ugh.

Joey Diaz 1:01:09 That's why I looked before 'cause they were supposed to-

Joe Rogan 1:01:11 So you still can't get your, uh, your-

Joey Diaz 1:01:13 Passport.

Joe Rogan 1:01:13 ... passport?

Joey Diaz 1:01:15 No. I just sent them the last thing.

Joe Rogan 1:01:16 If you get a passport and we go overseas, when we do gigs overseas, you will get a passport.

Joey Diaz 1:01:20 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:01:20 We will do this. When you do this, we're gonna have to fucking fly in a day early. We're gonna make it so... 'Cause I don't know if you're even gonna be able to get in over there. There might, it might be a, a hard time once you land.

Joey Diaz 1:01:30 Where?

Joe Rogan 1:01:31 Anywhere. UK, anywhere.

Joey Diaz 1:01:33 Dog.

Joe Rogan 1:01:33 Canada's a big one. Canada's rough.

Joey Diaz 1:01:35 Canada's not gonna take me. We're not gonna go to Canada.

Joe Rogan 1:01:37 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:01:37 And I love Canadians. I got nothing against Canadian, but it's the way the country works.

Joe Rogan 1:01:40 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:01:40 They won't let, uh... The, the nicest guy we know has got a DUI and he can't get into Canada.

Joe Rogan 1:01:46 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:01:46 But they... You could pay a tax like Snoop Dogg. So you're telling me Snoop Dogg can't play Canada?

Joe Rogan 1:01:52 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:01:53 There's a tax you could pay, little heavy, and then you get out. It's like everybody else.

Joe Rogan 1:01:56 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 1:01:57 We could all settle this with an envelope.

Joe Rogan 1:01:59 Well, you get an... Uh, they get an envelope anyway. When you do a gig in Canada-

Joey Diaz 1:02:03 Yeah, you gotta pay it.

Joe Rogan 1:02:03 ... they get a big tax envelope. You get that in the UK too.

Joey Diaz 1:02:06 Dog.

Joe Rogan 1:02:07 You do a gig in the UK, you're, you're paying.

Joey Diaz 1:02:09 Let me tell you something. Before 9/11, I was going up to Toronto two times a year. Okay? I had all these criminal charges, no warrants or anything. My friend from the Miami Improv dated a girl from Buffalo, and he called her father to pick me up at the Buffalo airport, take me to his house, and then cross me over the border. Before 9/11, there was a casino they'd go to.

Joe Rogan 1:02:33 Hmm.

Joey Diaz 1:02:34 And you just drove in.

Joe Rogan 1:02:35 Right.

Joey Diaz 1:02:35 And there was no ID, no nothing. And he would drive me to Toronto. He would drive me to Ontario, and I'd take the bus to Toronto and do the two weeks and then come back. But on the way back, I would come on the bus. I would drive those motherfuckers crazy, dog. When I'd give them my license, they'd start looking at me and they'd go, "When did you come in here?" And I'd go, "Last week. You were the guy that was working." They would say, "No, I wasn't. I would've never let you come through." "Well, you're letting me the fuck out now."

Joe Rogan 1:03:04 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:03:05 Dog.

Joe Rogan 1:03:05 Because of your record?

Joey Diaz 1:03:06 Yeah, they would hold me for, like, 10 minutes, like-

Joe Rogan 1:03:08 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:03:08 ... "How did you get into this country?"

Joe Rogan 1:03:10 Ah.

Joey Diaz 1:03:10 I'm like, "On fucking bus. You guys let me in last week." "No, it was a mistake. We could have never let you in." Dog, I would fuck with them all the time. I tried to do that cute shit during 9/11. They yanked me right the fuck out of there.

Joe Rogan 1:03:24 Yeah?

Joey Diaz 1:03:24 They were like, "We're not taking this shit." But to answer your question from before, my plan is this. I'm doing 10 spots. Okay, I'm up to number three.

Joe Rogan 1:03:33 Okay.

Joey Diaz 1:03:33 When I do my 10 spots, I'm gonna decide what I wanna do. I'm not gonna travel no more. I'm not gonna get on fucking planes. That was brutal last night. That was brutal. Three and a half hours on a flight for me, I can't do that no more.

Joe Rogan 1:03:45 Really?

Joey Diaz 1:03:45 Yeah. I'm good for, like, an hour and a half. I went to Nashville on JSX, the private plane, the semi-private-

Joe Rogan 1:03:51 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 1:03:51 ... 30 people on, tremendous. I recommend that to anybody if you don't like terminals. I fucking loved it. But they don't fly to Austin yet.

Joe Rogan 1:03:59 Hm.

Joey Diaz 1:03:59 They fly to Dallas, then you have to connect to Austin. My plan is this, start doing some sets at The Stand, start going over and seeing Chris Mazzilli at the Gotham Comedy Club, do a couple of those, and when I feel like I got 45 minutes, I'm gonna take a residency somewhere.

Joe Rogan 1:04:15 Where are you thinking of going?

Joey Diaz 1:04:16 AC or Parks Casino.

Joe Rogan 1:04:19 Where's Parks?

Joey Diaz 1:04:20 Philadelphia.

Joe Rogan 1:04:21 Mm.

Joey Diaz 1:04:23 I have no problems in Philadelphia.

Joe Rogan 1:04:25 Philadelphia's great.

Joey Diaz 1:04:26 Nobody's gonna ever walk out of my show in Philadelphia.

Joe Rogan 1:04:28 No, they're fun.

Joey Diaz 1:04:29 Yeah. Nobody will ever walk out of my shows in Philadelphia insulted.

Joe Rogan 1:04:34 No.

Joey Diaz 1:04:35 Nobody will get their feelings hurt.

Joe Rogan 1:04:38 (coughs)

Joey Diaz 1:04:39 If I say a joke that, you know, I'm on the spectrum, somebody's not gonna cry after the show and say that their-

Joe Rogan 1:04:45 No.

Joey Diaz 1:04:45 ... nephew's on the spectrum and the show hurt their feelings. Philly, that's never gonna happen.

Joe Rogan 1:04:50 Animals.

Joey Diaz 1:04:51 Animals.

Joe Rogan 1:04:52 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:04:52 And Atlantic City-

Joe Rogan 1:04:53 Animals.

Joey Diaz 1:04:54 ... that's never gonna happen.

Joe Rogan 1:04:55 Same people.

Joey Diaz 1:04:56 Animals.

Joe Rogan 1:04:57 Same people.

Joey Diaz 1:04:57 So-

Joe Rogan 1:04:57 South Jersey, Philly people.

Joey Diaz 1:04:58 ... that's where I belong.

Joe Rogan 1:04:59 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:04:59 That's where I belong.

Joe Rogan 1:05:01 Yeah, you could easily do a residency in Jersey City.

Joey Diaz 1:05:02 I would love to tell you I'm gonna put a tuxedo on and go to Vegas, sing a couple songs, and then fucking do an hour of material. I would love to tell you that.

Joe Rogan 1:05:10 You don't wanna fly. No, I get it. Do you think you'd ever live anywhere other than Jersey?

Joey Diaz 1:05:17 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:05:18 'Cause if you lived in Vegas, you could do a, uh, residency there.

Joey Diaz 1:05:21 Listen, we're not fucking crazy here. That's a tough, tough state to retire to in Jersey. Do you know what I'm saying? It's not cheap, bro.

Joe Rogan 1:05:32 Jersey's not cheap.

Joey Diaz 1:05:32 It's not fucking cheap-

Joe Rogan 1:05:34 No.

Joey Diaz 1:05:34 ... bro.

Joe Rogan 1:05:34 Jersey's expensive.

Joey Diaz 1:05:35 And that's why everybody from Jersey flies to fucking Florida.

Joe Rogan 1:05:37 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 1:05:38 You know? I like to lean towards Nashville.

Joe Rogan 1:05:41 Nashville's nice.

Joey Diaz 1:05:42 Outside of Nashville, like, at, like, you know-

Joe Rogan 1:05:45 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:05:45 ... something... And it... Bro, right now, you could pick up a house in Nashville for nothing. Well, the ones I saw over the holidays, brand new. Not much, Joe. You know, because it's gonna be just a spare house.

Joe Rogan 1:05:56 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 1:05:56 It's just a property to retire in.

Joe Rogan 1:05:58 Right.

Joey Diaz 1:05:59 If I turn 65, you know how much money I'll save by having a Tennessee address? By living in Tennessee?

Joe Rogan 1:06:06 A lot.

Joey Diaz 1:06:06 A lot. They don't tax your pension.

Joe Rogan 1:06:07 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:06:08 They don't tax much, man.

Joe Rogan 1:06:10 I read about Dubai. See if this is true. Dubai, there's no tax. There's no income tax. None at all. They just have so much money, they're like, "We don't need your money."

Joey Diaz 1:06:21 Don't worry about it. Next year.

Joe Rogan 1:06:22 And everything's clean. My friend Will went over there, he moved over there. He said, uh, he goes, "I don't wanna get shot in America." He goes, "I could live, like, and com- be completely safe in Dubai." UAE does not levy income tax on individuals. However, it levies a 5% value-added tax on purchases of goods and services levied at each stage of the supply chain and ultimately borne by the end consumer. That's not... Yeah, but that's okay.If you know what that is, that's a big difference between that and income tax. Income tax is weird 'cause you don't get any say in where it goes. And when you see what's going on with Ukraine, you see what's going on with Israel, you see what's going on with all the different shit that the Biden Administration spends money on, all the money they're giving to illegal immigrants that are coming into the country, all, all the money they're giving for programs that are ridiculous, that's your money, and you don't have any say. You can't argue about it. It's not... There's not competition. So there's not a better company that's gonna come along and take care of the taxes in a better way, more efficient. There's no incentive to do it better. Just fuck you, give me the money.

Joey Diaz 1:07:30 We're not giving Ukraine any more money, right?

Joe Rogan 1:07:32 We're giving them a mo- a lot more money. Yeah. That was one of the things that, uh, they were arguing about, that they have to do both. They were... They wanted the Ukraine budget to be lumped into the border fixing budget. Joe, it's wild.

Joey Diaz 1:07:45 That fucking border.

Joe Rogan 1:07:46 It's a wild thing. It's a wild thing they're doing.

Joey Diaz 1:07:49 That border, what Abbott is doing down there, telling those motherfuckers to step off and shit, and...

Joe Rogan 1:07:57 I met Abbott a few times. He's a good man. I like that guy a lot. You know, the sending the buses filled with immigrants to the sanctuary cities is such a crazy move. (laughs) Like, fuck you. You take care of them. You're just letting them in. Your policies are letting them in. You're encouraging people to go there 'cause you're a sanctuary city. Good. We'll help you out. We'll help you out. We'll, we'll bring them right to you. And now these same politicians that were running on this platform, this mischief...

Joey Diaz 1:08:25 A form of art.

Joe Rogan 1:08:25 It's a fantasy platform. This is a fantasy. Like, "Come here. We'll accept you all." And then let's say, the governor now, she's like, "That's enough. No more. There's... You can't come here. Go somewhere else. Go somewhere else." What does that mean? Go where? They're already here. There's too many. There's millions. You guys have let millions in. There's more illegal immigrants over the last few years than are legal residents in, like, five states. If you put together, like, Idaho, Wyoming, you know, like, them, them weird states with s- low populations. What's the number of illegal immigrants that have entered into this country over the last four years? Let's guess. What do you think it is?

Joey Diaz 1:09:10 Millions.

Joe Rogan 1:09:11 Yeah, 100%.

Joey Diaz 1:09:12 Millions.

Joe Rogan 1:09:13 10 million? Maybe 12.

Joey Diaz 1:09:16 Maybe 12.

Joe Rogan 1:09:18 What do you think it is, Joe?

Joey Diaz 1:09:18 I saw those fucking lines, so please tell me it's-

Joe Rogan 1:09:20 They don't even know, by the way. They're just guessing, they're just guessing. They're just guessing. They're not counting them all.

Guest (unidentified, short contribution) 1:09:25 I don't know how to find that number, even.

Joe Rogan 1:09:27 Just try to Google it.

Guest (unidentified, short contribution) 1:09:28 No, I get... I, I, I've tried this before. (clears throat) You can't... I don't know how to differentiate illegal versus legal. And I don't... They don't really tell you either.

Joe Rogan 1:09:36 (clears throat)

Guest (unidentified, short contribution) 1:09:36 'Cause they have to figure out themselves. Something you're allowed to cross.

Joe Rogan 1:09:39 Well, they're trying to make everybody legal. That's part of the hustle. The hustles make everybody documented.

Guest (unidentified, short contribution) 1:09:44 'Cause when I typed in "illegal immigrants entering US 2023," this is what it says. It says, there's arrivals