EVERY SPOKEN WORD
150 min read · 30,015 words- 0:00 – 4:03
Comedy Mothership nerves, cigars, and the pressure of a “special” room
- NANarrator
(drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
- NANarrator
The Joe Rogan Experience.
- JRJoe Rogan
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music) Hey, Jeff Dunn. How you doing, fellas? Let's roll with it.
- JDJeff Dye
Thanks for having me.
- JRJoe Rogan
My pleasure, brother.
- JDJeff Dye
This is ... I'm a big fan, so.
- JRJoe Rogan
You were very funny last night. It was fun.
- JDJeff Dye
Oh, thanks.
- JRJoe Rogan
It was fun to see it.
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah. I c- I, um, uh, I was telling them before you got here that, like, it's very rare that I'm ner- like, got a little nerves.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, that club's weird.
- JDJeff Dye
And so when I, when I came out there, I was like, "Yeah, this is a big deal." You know? Like, I, I don't ... It's been a while since I've had some nerves and I was coming out there going, "Oh." It took me, like, about 30, 40 long seconds to really dial in and go, "All right."
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JDJeff Dye
I was kind of having to add in my head, going, "Joe's watching and, uh, I hope this goes well." You know? 'Cause it's such a beautiful club. The, uh, the bar's high.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JDJeff Dye
All that whole crowd's going, "Oh, we, you know, we're gonna see everybody. Tom Segura, Joe Rogan, we're gonna see-"
- JRJoe Rogan
You followed Brian Simpson too, who's-
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... like, really funk- really fucking on fire right now.
- JDJeff Dye
I was just very, very, uh, it was just cool. It was cool to be in that... You got a torch?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. Yeah, there's one right there. This is his torch.
- JDJeff Dye
Oh, that's a torch too?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, that's a torch. There you go.
- JDJeff Dye
Oh, look at you. You got all the gadgets, huh?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, we're, we, uh, shout out to Foundation Cigars. They, they actually made us some Comedy Mothership-logoed cigars. (lighter clicking) They're really good. Is it out? Yeah, here, try this one.
- JDJeff Dye
There you go.
- JRJoe Rogan
Sorry. (lighter hissing) It might be almost out of juice.
- JDJeff Dye
Got it.
- JRJoe Rogan
But, um, yeah, I get it. I was nervous when I first did s- stand up there too.
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah, it's like that. What-
- 4:03 – 6:20
How comedians find their voice: early hacks, pop culture shortcuts, and “black belt” premises
- JDJeff Dye
I feel like every comic when you start, tell me if you've found this to be true. Of course, they all start with the, "I know what I look like." Or, "I look like a-"
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- JDJeff Dye
Or that you hear that.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs) I have a combination of them.
- JDJeff Dye
A version of that. Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JDJeff Dye
Right. Or, um, they, they come up with a s- or they, they, like, a some sort of song lyrics. That's al- 'cause songs are poems.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JDJeff Dye
And they're metaphors. So for whatever reason every comic's like, "Oh, I was listening to this song the other day."
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JDJeff Dye
"And the lyrics were ..." And you're like, "Yeah, 'cause it's a metaphor." You're like-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JDJeff Dye
... and you're gonna take the most literal route on this writing-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JDJeff Dye
... to make yourself sound smarter than the artist.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JDJeff Dye
But it's like, it's kind of an ... Like, "Trying to get to you and that monkey." And you're like, "He's trying to get to a monkey?"
- JRJoe Rogan
Right. (laughs)
- JDJeff Dye
And you're like, "No, dude. That's the radio edit of Booty."
- JRJoe Rogan
Ugh.
- JDJeff Dye
You know? They can't say, "Trying to get to you and that pussy or booty," or whatever the real lyric is.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JDJeff Dye
A thing.
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, it's just pop culture too, right? So you, you really, you're terrified to talk about something that people don't know about. You don't wanna have to explain something-
- JDJeff Dye
Oh, yeah, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... while you're ... 'Cause then you have to get their full attention. It's not an immediate ... Like, if you wanted to bring up, uh, LeBron James, you say the name LeBron James, everybody knows who LeBron James is. It's an instantaneous reference.
- JDJeff Dye
Absolutely.
- JRJoe Rogan
But if you wanna talk about some weird sect of the Christian church that you grew up in, they're like, "What?"
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah, "We go what?"
- NANarrator
(laughs)
- 6:20 – 8:25
Unique comics and why ‘we still barely understand’ standup
- JRJoe Rogan
You don't have any idea how other people are perceiving you. It's chaos up there. It doesn't seem like it should be. It's, I, I feel like we understand it more than most people, which is why so many people think they can do it. But even we kinda barely understand it. Like, I understand how I do it, but, uh, there's a lot of guys, like, I see them, like, I don't, I'm like, "I don't know what you're doing but it's hilar-" Harland Williams.
- JDJeff Dye
I love Harland.
- JRJoe Rogan
Harland Williams.
- JDJeff Dye
I just did his podcast. He is so silly.
- JRJoe Rogan
He's just, he's so silly.
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
When you watch him on stage, like, uh, if you wrote that out-
- JDJeff Dye
Oh, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
...it would not make any sense.
- JDJeff Dye
"Sir, could you please look away-"
- JRJoe Rogan
But here...
- JDJeff Dye
"...I'm trying to perform up here."
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs) I'm fucking dying.
- JDJeff Dye
Okay, right back.
- JRJoe Rogan
He was on Kill Tony-
- JDJeff Dye
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
...and he brought a checkbook and started just writing checks to people (laughs) for, like, a million dollars, like... And it just became this running gag.
- JDJeff Dye
It's really funny, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
It was hilarious.
- JDJeff Dye
He had Jeff Ross roast a roast.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JDJeff Dye
He pulled out a roast and he, uh, he put two little googly eyes on it and he goes, "I want you to roast this roast."
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JDJeff Dye
And that's only Harland can do that.
- JRJoe Rogan
Only Harland. Only Harland.
- JDJeff Dye
If, like, if anyone else did that, I'd be like, "Get this dog shit out of here."
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JDJeff Dye
But, like, Harland Williams, it's perfectly his voice, like you just said.
- JRJoe Rogan
I've known that guy for probably, like, 25, 26 years. He's always been super cool. No one hates Harland Williams, no one. You will never meet anybody who doesn't like Harland Williams.
- JDJeff Dye
He isn't like, but is e- is exactly like Norm MacDonald, where the f- where he's got his own thing.
- 8:25 – 12:11
Spotting originality: Casey Rocket and the value of “never seen it before”
- JDJeff Dye
Oh, you got a kid that works at Mothership who I'm obsessed with. And I don't know if he'll be a star. I don't know, I've never been able to predict any-
- JRJoe Rogan
Which one?
- JDJeff Dye
...of this shit. If you'd have asked me if I'd have thought a lot of these people that became stars are stars, I'm, I'm not a good read of this.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm.
- JDJeff Dye
But I do know a brilliant comic when I see one in Casey Rockett that, uh...
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah, he's very funny.
- JDJeff Dye
And it's ju- well, here's the difference.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JDJeff Dye
So, uh, for me, here's the difference, is when I, when you watch me, you go, "Oh, I know who Jeff's inspired by." You know, he likes Patrice, he likes Norm, he likes these truth-tellers, and he, and he loves The Simpsons. And if you know that formula, when you watch me, you go, "That's what this guy liked. That's what he watched."
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JDJeff Dye
You know? Um, no one's doing what Casey Rockett's doing.
- JRJoe Rogan
No.
- JDJeff Dye
So at least it's different-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JDJeff Dye
...enough that you, like, whether you love it or hate it, you go, "I've never seen it before."
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, even if you... Well, uh, first of all, you should appreciate that. But then, also appreciate that whatever he's doing, it's funny right now, and he's gonna get better.
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
He's gonna f-
- JDJeff Dye
I love it.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's gonna get even more better.
- JDJeff Dye
I watched him, I don't know if he'll like me saying this, but he didn't do too great on the show that I watched, and I'm in the back going, "Whatever that is, sign me up."
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs) You're like-
- JDJeff Dye
"I'll watch that."
- JRJoe Rogan
..."It," he varies, uh, but he does well a lot. He does well a lot. He's got real potential. He's a funny dude.
- JDJeff Dye
He did, like, six minutes on Jimmy Carter. Kid's in his 20s-
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, no. (laughs)
- JDJeff Dye
...he's, he's doing Jimmy Carter jokes. And I'm in the back going, "No one's gonna appra-" 'Cause, you know, I was, uh, it was, like, a bar show in Manhattan Beach-
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- JDJeff Dye
...and then they, uh, they want some race-
- JRJoe Rogan
Uh...
- 12:11 – 15:24
Why Joe built the Comedy Mothership: control, design, and acoustics
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, we feed off each other. That's one of the, that's the, the reason why I created a club. We were already performing out here. Um, we started performing out here in November of 2020, indoors, and it was, it was sketchy.
- JDJeff Dye
I never was-
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, there was a feeling of sketchiness. I was like, I remember we got really high one time, and I went onstage, I was like, "This is so not safe." (laughs)
- JDJeff Dye
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
It's like the middle of the-
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah, what are we doing?
- JRJoe Rogan
... middle of COVID, and they have indoor shows packed. There's no, the social distancing could suck my dick.
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah, yeah, well-
- JRJoe Rogan
There was no social distancing. It was just packed. Everybody was just going out like they were going out.
- JDJeff Dye
I love that.
- JRJoe Rogan
And we were at, how many of you guys have had COVID? Like, fucking half the crowd already had it.
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah, and we're fine.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, it was, it was wild times. But what we needed was a home base, and I was like, this place that we're at, The Vulcan, which is a really fun place to play, and a really fun place to see standup. It's a real fun room. But I wanted to do it where we had full control of it, where it was just comics. Like, it was, like, we have, like, you know, a group of humans that are really good at an art form, and I say, "What do you, what do you think we should do?" And we all just talk, and everybody's suggestion got in there. The reason why the ceiling's the height that it is, 'cause I took Louie, and Louie went and looked around, and he goes, "Can you lower the ceiling?" And I said, "I think we can."
- JDJeff Dye
Sure.
- JRJoe Rogan
"Can we lower the ceiling?" And I brought over the construction guys, I'm like, "What could we do?" And like, "Yeah, we can get it down three more feet." And he's like, "Get it down as low as you can get it."
- JDJeff Dye
Love that.
- JRJoe Rogan
But we just wanted to make sure that we could see from the balcony. That was the critical thing, like make sure the, the, the ceiling didn't impede the view from the balcony. So, we got to right where it doesn't, and then it really tightened the room up. But he also told me, he goes, "Comics like to hear that sound of echo, but that sucks." It's like, sucks for the sound. Like, that's like, it, you, you want the sound to be as clean as possible. You should, like, make everything almost like a sound studio. Like, have you done the old Icehouse?
- JDJeff Dye
Hmm. Yeah, love the old, no one bombs there.
- JRJoe Rogan
All, all the hardwood that pop, the comedy pops there. It like, it had, but it's also great crowds out there too.
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
But it, it's the, the structure of the building adds to the sound. But you don't really necessarily want that. You really want the actual laughs and like, everybody to hear everything you're saying-
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... clearly.
- JDJeff Dye
Wait, so you think there was a problem with the Icehouse in the old way? Like, the way it was too easy and popped?
- JRJoe Rogan
It wasn't a problem 'cause it was a really small room, but it would've been a problem in a, a lar- a slightly larger room. It gets slightly larger and those echoes get weird. They get weird in corners. Like, that's one of the things about The Vulcan for, I've had friends come to the show, and they would go, "We couldn't hear right, where we were. We had to move."
- JDJeff Dye
Oh, that's not good.
- JRJoe Rogan
I go, "What, what was the matter?" And they're like, "Everything was echoing." I was like, "Oh, no. Really?"
- JDJeff Dye
(laughs) Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
So like, I guess there was like, you know how sound works in hard surfaces and corners? If you're in, like, the back of, you know, a little corner area and sound's coming from a speaker pointed in a specific direction-
- JDJeff Dye
Mm-hmm.
- 15:24 – 17:36
When sound lies to you: bad rooms, onstage doubt, and Zoom comedy horror
- JDJeff Dye
Me and my buddy, Brant, uh, this was literally last weekend? I think it was last weekend. We were playing a club, and the club's great. I don't wanna name it because I'm about to say something that's not great about the acoustics. But he gets onstage, he's crushing, and he's doing all these little bullshit savers, you know? Like, "Well, I did better last week." You know those little things you say?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, yeah.
- JDJeff Dye
After a joke does bad, and the crowd's looking around going, "What was he talking about?" So then, he does another joke and then he's like, "All right, you guys don't like..." You know, and he keeps narrating. But I'm like, "Brant, you're crushing." But I, I can't talk to him. He's onstage. And so then, I get onstage and, uh, and I'm like, "Fucking tough crowd, man. What's going on here?" Like, t- l- these...
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, you can't hear them.
- JDJeff Dye
Couldn't hear, I c- I thought I was doing bad and Brant's like, "You're, that was amazing." And then Brant was doing amazing and he thought he was doing bad up there. So we came up with like, a symbol for the next shows. Like, if, if you're doing-
- JRJoe Rogan
How, how far was the audience far, from you that you couldn't hear them?
- JDJeff Dye
We heard laughs. We heard laughs.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- JDJeff Dye
But we just don't, we're, we're used to a sound, as a comedian-
- JRJoe Rogan
Right, a volume.
- JDJeff Dye
... like, of what killing is.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm.
- JDJeff Dye
So, you know, you're getting, we get laughs on every sentence. Doesn't mean you're killing.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm.
- JDJeff Dye
And so, we were just saying, so me and Brant came up with like, a code. We're like, "All right, this means don't worry about it, you're doing good." And if it is that the joke sucked or the bit sucks, we'll give, we'll do this like, "Hey, it's you." (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JDJeff Dye
"It's you that is, uh..." Yeah. But like, you need to know-
- JRJoe Rogan
That's a good ... (laughs)
- JDJeff Dye
... is it me or is it the crowd? I-
- JRJoe Rogan
You get like, a line coach.
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah. We like, like, as we're going-
- JRJoe Rogan
That's hilarious.
- JDJeff Dye
... you know, we signal.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JDJeff Dye
But we, it's because that sound is so important.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JDJeff Dye
If you think you're doing bad-
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah.
- JDJeff Dye
... you know, and the crowd doesn't think you are, or vice versa, that's, that's a problem.
- JRJoe Rogan
Bro, did you watch any of the Zoom comedy people tried to do?
- 17:36 – 20:26
Leaving LA in 2020, Texas weed politics, and why marijuana laws are ‘fraud’
- JDJeff Dye
... uh, during COVID, I was like, enemy number one in Los Angeles in a lot of ways.
- JRJoe Rogan
Really?
- JDJeff Dye
I'd have people at my house. I was like, "I'm not doing this shit." I was like, the only guy who was like, actually putting on his story like, "I'm not doing this." I'd like, go to coffee shops, you know, and uh, I'd wear a mask when they g- y- you know, when the, I'd be one of those guys. You know, I'd wear the mask in the store, but then, you know, if whatever, I'm gonna drink my coffee, want me to drink it through a mask, you know?
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- JDJeff Dye
So, I...There were comics, who are now cool with me again, but at the time, were like, "Can you believe Jeff Dye is just not taking this serious and by-" It's like not- it's ... I wish I lived in a place like this or Florida or something during that lockdown.
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, I kind of saw what was going on in the beginning, but I was hoping that we would come out of it and it really would just be a couple of weeks and everything would be back to normal. But when it got to a month-
- JDJeff Dye
Ugh.
- JRJoe Rogan
... and there was no talk at all about reopening, and then there was talk about it might be six months, it was all- there were- it, it got real weird. And then there was the George Floyd riots and then there was the lines outside the gun stores, and I was like, "Okay-"
- JDJeff Dye
That's what brought me.
- JRJoe Rogan
"... I see where this is going. I'm getting the fuck out of here." So I came out here in May of 2020. That's when I first started looking.
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Found a house. I moved in August, so that quick.
- JDJeff Dye
Nice.
- JRJoe Rogan
In August of 2020, I'm like, "See ya."
- JDJeff Dye
(laughs) Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
And it was in the middle of my Spotify deal. The beginning, excuse me, not even the middle.
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
My Spotify deal hadn't even started. It started from out here.
- JDJeff Dye
It was weird.
- JRJoe Rogan
And they were like, they were like, "What the fuck are you doing?"
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah, we- w- as from us going, "What do you mean he's moving to- he's gonna chan-" Also, you're a weed guy. We're going, "Texas? He's gonna go to Texas with the weed?"
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, apparently it's decriminalized here in Austin.
- JDJeff Dye
Oh, okay.
- JRJoe Rogan
Praise Jesus.
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Uh, but then I heard that Ken Paxton is trying to sue the City of Austin, who I've met, he's a very nice gentleman. Ken, how dare you?
- JDJeff Dye
(laughs) What's he suing it for?
- JRJoe Rogan
I don't know.
- JDJeff Dye
What's that?
- JRJoe Rogan
I think it has something to do with the marijuana laws. Listen.
- 20:26 – 24:01
Hemp as an ‘alien plant’: durability, paper, hempcrete, and why alcohol is worse
- JRJoe Rogan
N- it was- they made this shit up. (laughs) Well, you know, you could find instances. There's a lot of people. But the point is that they made all this shit up just so they could, uh, stop hemp because, uh, the- they had come up with a new method of processing hemp fiber. There was a new machine that was invented called a decorticator. And the decorticator allowed them to economically effectively process hemp without using slave labor. See, when they stopped using slaves and then when they p- started picking cotton, people moved from hemp to cotton. But cotton sucks compared to hemp. Hemp is a way better cloth. It's way more durable. It's like, my friend Todd says it's like an alien plant.
- JDJeff Dye
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
'Cause it is like an alien plant. It doesn't- there's nothing like it. You could use its fiber to make clothes. It's the best clothes on Earth.
- JDJeff Dye
Hmm.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like the most durable. Like I have a hemp jujitsu gi, that fucking thing never rips. When I get cotton gis, these motherfuckers like, after like a few months of hard rolling, the, the, the things start getting loose.
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
And they start ripping and, you, you know, if you've had a gi for a year or two years, it's probably got a rip or two in it already. The- the hemp gis don't rip.
- JDJeff Dye
Hmm.
- JRJoe Rogan
You could take hemp, hemp paper. You could take hemp paper and you could barely tear it.
- JDJeff Dye
Really?
- JRJoe Rogan
And it's weird, man.
- JDJeff Dye
I've never known less about a subject than hemp or any of this stuff.
- JRJoe Rogan
I got fascinated because my friend Todd McCormick had a hemp stalk on his table, his desk table. And he goes, "Pick this up." And I pick it up and it feels like there's nothing there. It's like Styrofoam.
- JDJeff Dye
Hmm.
- JRJoe Rogan
But it's hard.
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like oak.
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah, it's interesting.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's f- it's a fucking weird plant. You can make houses with it. They use something called hempcrete. And it's hemp and it's mixed together with some sort of a solvent or something that solidifies it and it's way more durable than wood.
- JDJeff Dye
Like living houses.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's stronger than concrete. It's cr- it's crazy.
- JDJeff Dye
It's wild.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's a crazy plant, dude.
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
And the fact that it's illegal because it makes people happy and makes food taste better, shut the fuck up.
- JDJeff Dye
(laughs) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Just shut the fuck up.
- JDJeff Dye
Always with your silly arguments.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's stupid. It doesn't kill anybody. Alcohol's killing people every day of the week.
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah, dude.
- 24:01 – 28:21
Violence, courts, and Fear Factor: why sucker punches work
- JRJoe Rogan
Look, it's just not me, but I've seen people, like Alex Berenson wrote this book called, uh, Tell Your Children, and it's all about there's like a certain percentage of people that take high-dose THC that experience psychotic states. There's this lady in LA who stabbed her boyfriend-
- JDJeff Dye
Jesus.
- JRJoe Rogan
... 108 times, off one hit.
- JDJeff Dye
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
He gave her some crazy super potent weed. She went wacky, stabbed him 108 times, and, uh, the, the fucked up part is she only got two years probation.
- JDJeff Dye
... yeah, that's wild.
- JRJoe Rogan
Two years probation.
- JDJeff Dye
That's a whole different problem, the- That's a crazy one. We were just like, "Imagine if it was a dude."
- NANarrator
Oh, God.
- JRJoe Rogan
And his excuse was, "I got high."
- JDJeff Dye
Hey, you know, weed, he gave you weed.
- JRJoe Rogan
"I was, I was high, I had to stab her 108 times." Like, what the fuck? You're in jail forever.
- JDJeff Dye
Women complain about all these social issues, but you know where women crush us? Court.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JDJeff Dye
Dude, in the courtroom, there's no bigger privilege than being a woman.
- JRJoe Rogan
And by the way, no one, no one gives a fuck if your wife beats you up.
- JDJeff Dye
At all.
- JRJoe Rogan
At all.
- JDJeff Dye
A baseball player in the '90s, Chuck Finley, got beat up by his wife and he's like, "I don't wanna hit her back. I'm a big guy, you know?"
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JDJeff Dye
So, he just, so he just called the cops.
- NANarrator
He just takes it.
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah, he took it. He just called the cops. But then if you read all the people commenting, they're like, "Oh, come on, dude. You can't..."
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- NANarrator
"You just let her hit you, dude."
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- NANarrator
Like, like... (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
Just block.
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah, block, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
The problem is you should never be around anyone who wants to hit you, whether it's a friend or whether it's a girlfriend. You should never be around a person that wants to strike you.
- 28:21 – 37:02
Magicians getting stabbed, UFC brutality, slap fighting, and iconic post-fight quotes
- JDJeff Dye
Well, but, uh, isn't that kind of funny that, you know, we just get up there and do jokes. But, like, a magician will do, like, a trick and then be like, "Also, someone come punch me."
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- NANarrator
(laughs)
- JDJeff Dye
Like, that doesn't even, that's not a magic trick. That sounds like something a frat guy would, or, like, a big Samoan guy would say.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JDJeff Dye
Like, "Someone punch me."
- JRJoe Rogan
But there's, like, no magic to it that-
- JDJeff Dye
Right.
- JRJoe Rogan
... will really work. Like, if someone says, "Kick me," there is no magic that's gonna save you.
- JDJeff Dye
It's so silly.
- JRJoe Rogan
There's no magic. You can't tighten up your abs-
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... and let me kick you.
- JDJeff Dye
This is my magic trick.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. You're gonna get really injured.
- JDJeff Dye
You think you punch good?
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JDJeff Dye
I'm a magician. So stupid.
- JRJoe Rogan
Abracadabra.
- JDJeff Dye
(laughs) Yeah, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Francis Ngannou liver punching you.
- JDJeff Dye
Well, and then they did-
- JRJoe Rogan
Abracadabra.
- JDJeff Dye
... David Blaine'll do that.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JDJeff Dye
He'll do seven things that you're like, "This guy's a witch or a warlock or something."
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JDJeff Dye
But then he'll be like, "And now I'm gonna live in a box above New York City for a month." And you're like, "Don't do that."
- JRJoe Rogan
Bro-
- JDJeff Dye
"That's not magic."
- 37:02 – 43:37
Manifestation vs luck: McGregor, self-belief, and getting sober for momentum
- NANarrator
(bleep) both ƒ%$# you. Look what's next for me, Joe. I'm gonna get that second belt. Where the (bleep) is it?
- JDJeff Dye
Oh, yeah. I remember this.
- NANarrator
Get your ƒ%$#ing belts ready. Spit on for me.
- JDJeff Dye
I remember this.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JDJeff Dye
And he was right.
- NANarrator
Be up there. Oh, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah.
- NANarrator
It's never been done before. I'm sure you'll get your second belt.
- JDJeff Dye
(laughs)
- NANarrator
But, listen, I've spent a lot of time, Joe, slaying everybody in the company. Backstage I'm starting fights off everybody. I ridiculed everyone on the roster. I just want to say from the bottom of me heart, I'd like to take this chance to apologize- ... to absolutely nobody.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JDJeff Dye
Legendary.
- JRJoe Rogan
He wants.
- JDJeff Dye
There it is.
- NANarrator
How does (bleep) . Let me raise my (bleep) . Yeah. That's what I want to do. That's what I want to do.
- JDJeff Dye
That was pretty solid.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah-
- JDJeff Dye
Look at this.
- JRJoe Rogan
... because that was-
- JDJeff Dye
It's pretty good.
- JRJoe Rogan
... what he envisioned. He envisioned him standing there with those two belts.
- JDJeff Dye
And it full- got it.
- JRJoe Rogan
And he made it happen.
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
He really did it. Like, there's something to that fucking Oprah horse shit-
- JDJeff Dye
No, it works.
- JRJoe Rogan
... of, like, manifesting things-
- JDJeff Dye
The universe.
- JRJoe Rogan
... The Secret.
- 43:37 – 51:24
Old times weren’t romantic: Mongols, pirates, and why modern life still feels fragile
- JDJeff Dye
I know this is a mushrooms idea. I'm a big mushroom guy, but like, I always... We... I don't know how when... When you do new mushrooms... When I do mushrooms, I'm with my friends and it's usually... We're not... We're usually in the woods camping or something. We... I don't like to go to concerts. I don't wanna be on mushrooms, you know?
- JRJoe Rogan
Too much randomness.
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah, can't do that.
- JRJoe Rogan
Noise.
- JDJeff Dye
And I don't want to hit a guy I don't know well.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- JDJeff Dye
I wanna be around some people I love, you know? I wanna be around... But, uh, I was thinking about like, in the old days you, you r- we'd ride our horses, you know, and, and we'd have like a little picture of Our Lady back home and we'd clean up the horses and we'd make some food and we'd whatever. And we'd go, "I wonder what's going on out there?" You know, "What do you think is going on out there?" We may... might talk about it a little, call it a night, you know. We, we had our responsibilities, we had our little things.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JDJeff Dye
You knew your girl and you knew some girls in town, but you knew your woman that you loved and your, and your family. And then it's like now, now I don't wonder what anyone's doing.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JDJeff Dye
I can't even escape my ex-girlfriend's breakfast posts, you know?
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JDJeff Dye
Like, like w- we know it's... There's gotta be some happy medium. Those guys knew nothing. Kind of a sweet time.
- JRJoe Rogan
Kind of a sweet time, but which one would you choose?
- JDJeff Dye
Uh, see I'm only thinking I want that-
- JRJoe Rogan
If you were back in that time-
- JDJeff Dye
... because I got now.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, it's nonsense. It's like what do you wanna do, go back to being a chimp and throw shit at each other?
- JDJeff Dye
Maybe.
- JRJoe Rogan
'Cause tha- (laughs) They were probably like, "What are these g- people gonna live in houses?"
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah, but maybe.
- JRJoe Rogan
You know, that was one of the things that, uh, Genghis Khan-
- JDJeff Dye
You'd crush it as a chimp, Joe. I don't know if you know that.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JDJeff Dye
You'd get to be Joe Rogan of the chimps, I'm pretty sure.
- JRJoe Rogan
You... When Genghis Khan w-... Like, one of his titles was he who rules in all... There was like something about felt houses. So, the, it... the... They had such disdain for people who lived in houses.
- JDJeff Dye
Look at them, fat cats with their houses.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, they all lived in tents.
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
They lived in felt tents, so they never had houses. They thought you were a pussy-
- 51:24 – 1:16:27
Grid failure, war reality, asteroids, and the mind-bending scale of the universe
- JRJoe Rogan
'Cause all these rules that we have are all just created by humans. We've agreed to them-
- JDJeff Dye
Mm-hmm.
- JRJoe Rogan
... as if they're unbreakable doctrine. Listen to me, and listen very carefully. If the power goes out for too long, all those rules are bullshit, and that guy who will bury a body for you is-
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... the kind of person you want on your team.
- JDJeff Dye
100%.
- JRJoe Rogan
The reality of-
- JDJeff Dye
Also, if the power goes out, I'm probably gonna show up to your place.
- JRJoe Rogan
I got a spot for you.
- JDJeff Dye
Be, be in the gym.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JDJeff Dye
Go, "Can I just be in your gym?"
- JRJoe Rogan
I've thought about, like, literally setting up a ranch out here.
- JDJeff Dye
Yes.
- JRJoe Rogan
Just specifically for if things go sideways. (laughs)
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah. Well, I mean, you're-
- JRJoe Rogan
Just a complete self-sufficient ranch.
- JDJeff Dye
I think you're pretty set up. This place is safe.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's not that safe.
- JDJeff Dye
Right?
- JRJoe Rogan
Dude, if things go sideways, it's not safe anywhere. You, we have to understand that this society that we have, that stays civil, and, and beautiful and, you know, and equitable, and we have all this change that's happening in the world, this is only possible if you can get goods and services to people and if people have access to information. It is not hard to shut that off. If the power went out in this country, if someone attacked the grid and just destroyed our power grid, and destroyed our satellites, if there was a coordinated ef- coordinated effort by multiple superpowers to just destroy our satellites-
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... destroy our grid, we would be in chaos quickly.
- JDJeff Dye
Pretty fast. Yeah, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Quickly. Very quickly. And then, if it lasts too long, and there's some sort of a hostile military takeover of the country, you're living in a totally different world than the one you live in now. Now you live in China, and you never thought that was possible. You thought that, you know, you would be able to just exist here, and demand universal basic income, and you would have all these ideas in your head-
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... about the border wall's racist and-
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... this and that. And then all of a sudden, you live in a world that's unrecognizable. And that's just an example of what could happen if someone acts, if a human being does something which is very similar to what other human beings are doing right now all over the world. What's happening right now in Ukraine, what's happening right now in Israel, that is human beings launching bombs at people they've never met.
- JDJeff Dye
Yeah.
Episode duration: 2:30:44
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Transcript of episode FD-T6QIuxj8
