Joe Rogan Experience #2110 - Fahim Anwar

Narrator 0:00 (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience.

Joe Rogan 0:06 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (instrumental music) My man.

Fahim Anwar 0:13 How are you?

Joe Rogan 0:13 Good to see you, brother. What's cracking?

Fahim Anwar 0:14 Good to be back. Thank you for having me.

Joe Rogan 0:16 I miss you.

Fahim Anwar 0:16 I miss you too.

Joe Rogan 0:17 I used to get to see you every week.

Fahim Anwar 0:18 I thought about that the other day, like, yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:20 Yeah, it's like that's-

Fahim Anwar 0:21 You forget that, that, that's like a period of time, and it's not gonna be forever sometimes, you know?

Joe Rogan 0:25 Yeah. Well, y- it almost was. You were the f- one of the first people to take the trip out here.

Fahim Anwar 0:29 I was. It was clear as day when I first came out. I'm like, "Why wouldn't you be out here?"

Joe Rogan 0:34 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 0:34 'Cause I remember I had this writing job, right? And so I was just like on Zoom every day, and life kinda sucked 'cause you couldn't go out. So I was just trapped in my house.

Joe Rogan 0:42 Right.

Fahim Anwar 0:43 And then in between a lunch break, I'm on Instagram, and I see Tony, you know, Tony Hinchcliffe's post. He's ... This is like in the infancy of him, him coming out here, you know?

Joe Rogan 0:51 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 0:51 He's like, "Sold out Anton's." You know what I mean? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:54 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 0:54 It seemed like this Bizarro universe-

Joe Rogan 0:56 Right.

Fahim Anwar 0:56 ... where like life is still happening. And I love standup so much.

Joe Rogan 1:00 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 1:00 And I was just kind of miserable. And I'm like, "If this is happening out there, I can do standup?" So then I started asking questions. I hit up the EPs. I'm like, "Yo, 'cause we're on Zoom, could I, could I just write from Austin? Just Zoom by day, and then do standup out here with like all you guys at night?" And they were like, "We don't see why not." So it was awesome. I got an apartment out here. I would Zoom by day. I would just be doing awesome shows at Vulcan and stuff at night.

Joe Rogan 1:26 Damn.

Fahim Anwar 1:26 It was a ... It felt like a life hack.

Joe Rogan 1:27 It was a life hack.

Fahim Anwar 1:29 Yeah. It was, it was great.

Joe Rogan 1:29 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 1:30 I'm so glad I did that. Um-

Joe Rogan 1:31 Have you been to the Mothership yet?

Fahim Anwar 1:32 Of course, dude. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:33 Oh, okay.

Fahim Anwar 1:33 Yeah, it's amazing.

Joe Rogan 1:35 Nice.

Fahim Anwar 1:35 I got to do, um ... I think you were on vacation. Then Adam had me do where you normally do in the middle of the week.

Joe Rogan 1:40 Oh, yeah.

Fahim Anwar 1:40 The Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.

Joe Rogan 1:42 Mm.

Fahim Anwar 1:43 So I got to do like six shows-

Joe Rogan 1:46 Nice.

Fahim Anwar 1:46 ... in that beautiful big room.

Joe Rogan 1:47 Nice.

Fahim Anwar 1:48 Both rooms are great, you know? I like that small one for, uh, working on stuff. It's kinda like the belly.

Joe Rogan 1:53 It's very much like ... It, the small room is a combination of the belly and the OR. It's a little bit bigger than the belly room and a little more locked in-

Fahim Anwar 2:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:03 ... than the belly room. And then the big room is like a combination of the OR and the main room.

Fahim Anwar 2:07 That's what I tell everybody, 'cause they go, "What's it like?" And it is ... It's like if those rooms had babies. Like they're in the-

Joe Rogan 2:12 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 2:12 They're in the middle of both those, of all three of those rooms, you know?

Joe Rogan 2:15 They're both perfect.

Fahim Anwar 2:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:16 They're the perfect size.

Fahim Anwar 2:18 You know what's kind of funny? I think the store has started to like get a facelift because of what you've done at Mothership. 'Cause so many comics would come back and be like, "Yo, they just give you all your sets." You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 2:29 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 2:29 The sound's amazing, like 'cause it's so state-of-the-art.

Joe Rogan 2:32 Well, there's also the screens in the green room that show you what's going on on-stage and the time.

Fahim Anwar 2:36 You can't miss your spot.

Joe Rogan 2:37 Yeah, you can't miss your spot.

Fahim Anwar 2:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:39 And then there's lights everywhere.

Fahim Anwar 2:40 Yeah, so-

Joe Rogan 2:41 So that you know there's lights in ... There's two sets of lights in the hallway, one in the beginning of the hallway and one at the top of the stairs. You always know when the guy's got the light.

Fahim Anwar 2:48 Yeah, so I think-

Joe Rogan 2:50 And if you have any suggestions, by the way, just throw them out. We'll use 'em.

Fahim Anwar 2:53 Okay. I mean, pretty happy.

Joe Rogan 2:54 Half of the club is built on suggestions.

Fahim Anwar 2:58 Well, you can tell, you know? Um-

Joe Rogan 2:59 Like the s- I think it was Tony's idea to have the lights in the green room. It might've been Tony's idea also to have the monitors in the green room. It was Louie's idea to lower the ceiling.

Fahim Anwar 3:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:09 It was Louie's idea to, uh, change the size of the stage and the little room, and lower the ceiling in the little room, too.

Fahim Anwar 3:14 How big was the stage before Louie suggested the change?

Joe Rogan 3:17 It was like four feet more on each side.

Fahim Anwar 3:19 Too big?

Joe Rogan 3:20 Yeah, it was too big. It was too big.

Fahim Anwar 3:22 All right.

Joe Rogan 3:22 He was right.

Fahim Anwar 3:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:23 He's like, "Why do you have all this extra stage? You don't really ... It's an intimate room." Like, "Yeah, you're right." But it was just, you know, we just kind of like walked into this empty space when it was just a movie theater. So when it was a movie theater, it was ... We had to change everything, right? So we changed the way the stairs are. So in a movie theater, the stairs slant way down at a steep angle, right?

Fahim Anwar 3:42 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 3:42 So you could all watch the big screen. Um, we l- raised the floor up. So we had to build a concrete, like a rebar and concrete-

Fahim Anwar 3:51 Oh.

Joe Rogan 3:52 ... floor. So it's a totally different floor.

Fahim Anwar 3:53 Yes, it's crazy, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:55 So we raised it up till ... And then Louie wanted me to lower the ceiling even more, so I did that as well.

Fahim Anwar 3:59 After the fact when it was all said and done?

Joe Rogan 4:00 No, it wasn't all said and done.

Fahim Anwar 4:01 Oh.

Joe Rogan 4:02 We were in the middle of everything, luckily. We ha- we did have to recut the stage in the small room 'cause we, it was, the, the ... But the concrete hadn't been poured yet.

Fahim Anwar 4:10 Mm.

Joe Rogan 4:10 So they just had to recut the steel and put it all ... But it's very interesting. It's very interesting. I've never been a part of building anything like that before.

Fahim Anwar 4:17 Yeah. You could tell, though, because you're a standup of several years, you could tell it was designed by a comedian.

Joe Rogan 4:24 It's all done with comics'.

Fahim Anwar 4:25 Yeah, 'cause-

Joe Rogan 4:26 To- comics' input, and also Richard, the architect, who is amazing.

Fahim Anwar 4:29 Oh, 'cause-

Joe Rogan 4:30 Shout out to Richard Weiss.

Fahim Anwar 4:31 Yeah, shout out to Richard.

Joe Rogan 4:31 He's the man. He's, he's the man. He's so good. I'll have him on the podcast some day. He's a really interesting guy. And he, uh, he also came up with the idea of making the tunnel.

Fahim Anwar 4:40 Oh, the tunnel's awesome.

Joe Rogan 4:41 The tunnel's the shit.

Fahim Anwar 4:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:42 Yeah, it's such a cool hangout. The whole thing's just such ... It's all s- just set up just for a hang.

Fahim Anwar 4:47 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 4:47 You know, just everybody feels good.

Fahim Anwar 4:49 But the most valuable asset to comedians, especially nowadays, is getting that footage, dude.

Joe Rogan 4:53 The footage is big.

Fahim Anwar 4:54 It's, uh ...

Joe Rogan 4:54 Yeah, we, we'll film you, and then also it's like really high quality. It's-

Fahim Anwar 4:58 Yes, it's 8K.

Joe Rogan 4:59 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 4:59 And the sound's great, so I've been pushing for that at the store, and I think they're starting to. It's just, it's just a process, but I-

Joe Rogan 5:05 They also have to put people's phones in bags so they pay attention.

Fahim Anwar 5:08 Mm.

Joe Rogan 5:09 People are so goddamn distracted, me included. It's so hard to just sit there. It's one of the things that I love about podcasts is just for three hours I'm not gonna see what's going on in the world.

Fahim Anwar 5:18 Just locked in.

Joe Rogan 5:18 I'm locked in.

Fahim Anwar 5:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:19 I don't have to think about other things. And I'm really lucky. I think it's a form of therapy in a weird way, in this bizarre digitally sort of, uh, intertwined world. You can't escape it. I n- I can never escape it. It's so hard to get away from emails and text messages. And it's just ... I cannot keep up. I have 185 unanswered text messages.

Fahim Anwar 5:42 Are you good about clearing them, or do you just-

Joe Rogan 5:44 Uh ...

Fahim Anwar 5:44 You have all that read?

Joe Rogan 5:45 Who are you ... Who, who has time to clear things?

Fahim Anwar 5:46 I have to clear them. I have this OCD thing where I need to have a clean ...

Joe Rogan 5:50 Oh, I don't have that.

Fahim Anwar 5:50 I can't have red.

Joe Rogan 5:51 Okay, so 183. 183 unanswered texts.

Fahim Anwar 5:54 All right.

Joe Rogan 5:54 How? How do I do that?

Fahim Anwar 5:55 Well, you're a popular guy, dude.

Joe Rogan 5:56 No, no, how do you keep up? You can't.

Fahim Anwar 5:57 Oh, it's hard.

Joe Rogan 5:58 You literally can't keep up.

Fahim Anwar 5:58 It's hard for you. I, I can keep up. I can keep ... I'm always surprised-

Joe Rogan 6:02 But it-

Fahim Anwar 6:02 ... like for how busy you are, and like what a figure you are, like how quickly you respond still.

Joe Rogan 6:08 ... but I love you.

Fahim Anwar 6:09 You, you, I, well, thank you.

Joe Rogan 6:10 You're my friend.

Fahim Anwar 6:10 Thank you. But I have friends and people who are much lower than you in the pantheon of things, who take so much longer.

Joe Rogan 6:17 Well, sometimes I do take long though, if I'm out doing something.

Fahim Anwar 6:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:20 There's, there's times where I'll come home and there's se- 60 text messages. And there's not a chance in hell that I can just bang all those out.

Fahim Anwar 6:27 Right.

Joe Rogan 6:27 I just... Otherwise, I'll go insane. That's, that's what I'm saying. It's just like, it's not that I have too many people contacting me. It's not, uh, that's not what it is. It's, you find a fucking excuse to use that thing. (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 6:42 Oh, the phone?

Joe Rogan 6:42 The phones.

Fahim Anwar 6:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:43 You find exc- it's cool to be in contact with people. It's fun. I like that. I love the text messages I have between friends, sending each other memes, talking shit. It's fun.

Fahim Anwar 6:53 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:54 It's silly. It's silly fun. It's, it's a nice relief. When Ari sends me a funny thing, you know, or says something funny, it's a nice little relief.

Fahim Anwar 7:01 I, the text thread you're in, they're great. You live for the text thread.

Joe Rogan 7:03 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 7:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:04 We got a f- I got a few of those text threads going on between me and comics, and it's f- the most fun thing, man.

Fahim Anwar 7:10 Ari-

Joe Rogan 7:10 But it's just-

Fahim Anwar 7:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:11 ... the fucking phone runs your goddamn life, dude. (laughs) It does. And it's like, it's made it so, especially if you're a person who, like, if you're booking shows, you have to, you know, you be in contact with your agent, you have to be in contact with, um, uh, the opening acts. You gotta, you know-

Fahim Anwar 7:28 It's a tool for everything. It's like-

Joe Rogan 7:29 Every fucking thing.

Fahim Anwar 7:29 ... I gotta, I gotta DocuSign something.

Joe Rogan 7:31 Everything.

Fahim Anwar 7:31 I have to edit a video. I have to post it on TikTok. I have to post it on Facebook. I have to post it on-

Joe Rogan 7:36 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 7:36 It's literally a computer. It's, it's like the work never ends.

Joe Rogan 7:39 And if you ever have to... Do you know what the most hilarious thing to me is? When you have to sign things online.

Fahim Anwar 7:43 Like, it's such bullshit. It's an exercise in everyone believing-

Joe Rogan 7:45 It's a fake signature. It's not even my real signature. It's a fake signature. Like, a DocuSign?

Fahim Anwar 7:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:51 And you just agree that you're gonna accept that as your signature. You say, "Okay."

Fahim Anwar 7:55 Right.

Joe Rogan 7:55 And you click it, and then it's your signature.

Fahim Anwar 7:58 Is it just Joe Rogan in text?

Joe Rogan 7:59 There is one-

Fahim Anwar 8:00 You go, "I guess that's a signature."

Joe Rogan 8:01 There's one way around that. It's, um, if you have, uh, like a Samsung Galaxy S24 Ultra, their new phone, it, uh, it has a stylus that's built into the phone, and you could use it to sign PDFs.

Fahim Anwar 8:13 Does somebody care enough to be buying that phone just to sign documents?

Joe Rogan 8:17 No, but you can sign all kinds of stuff. Like, you can write on it, like a notepad. It's really fascinating. It's a very fascinating piece of tech.

Fahim Anwar 8:24 We're going back to PalmPilot? We've gone full circle?

Joe Rogan 8:27 (laughs) A little bit, but it also allows you to take photographs. So, you could use it as a shutter. So, you could, like, stand across the room and take a photo of yourself or a video-

Fahim Anwar 8:35 Wow.

Joe Rogan 8:35 ... and you press that button and it starts recording and it start, or it starts taking a picture.

Fahim Anwar 8:37 You could be like an old-timey photographer.

Joe Rogan 8:39 Yeah, old-timey.

Guest 8:39 Could you s- (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 8:40 Just put a blanket over you, go...

Joe Rogan 8:41 (laughs) Do they still do that? Do they have, like, enthusiasts-

Fahim Anwar 8:45 That'd be great.

Joe Rogan 8:45 ... who do old-timey? It must be.

Fahim Anwar 8:45 I bet there's some, some kid in Silverlake who's like, "Yo, pose everybody at some cool bar," and he has the flash.

Joe Rogan 8:51 Yo, I used to get fascinated by this one dude who would make old-timey wooden farm tools. This guy would make, like, old-timey, uh, what are those things? Planes? He would make old-timey planes and old-timey, like, uh-

Fahim Anwar 9:05 Like, Wright Brothers planes?

Joe Rogan 9:06 No, no. Planes, like, where you're planing wood.

Fahim Anwar 9:09 Oh. Okay.

Joe Rogan 9:09 He was, like, a wood shop guy, but it was all handmade. He made all of his tools.

Fahim Anwar 9:14 Who's the market for that?

Joe Rogan 9:15 Me.

Fahim Anwar 9:16 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:16 I watch that show. I couldn't stop watching it.

Fahim Anwar 9:18 Is, but, like, when he makes the tools, is there a market to buy those? Or is it novelty?

Joe Rogan 9:23 Oh, I'm sure. I think it's novelty. I, I bet wa- at the time, this was pre-internet, or maybe, like, the internet was just starting. But this guy had a cool show and I used to watch (laughs) it all the time. I love when people love things. That's what I figured out about me. It doesn't even have to be something that I love.

Fahim Anwar 9:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:40 But I love when people love things. And that's when, uh, I really, uh, got into Bourdain's show, 'cause I was like, "Goddamn, this dude loves food."

Fahim Anwar 9:50 He does.

Joe Rogan 9:50 "He loves cooking, he loves cuisine." Is that me or you that just dinged?

Guest 9:53 Shh.

Fahim Anwar 9:53 I think it's you.

Joe Rogan 9:54 Okay.

Fahim Anwar 9:54 I own an airplane, man. I respect the format.

Joe Rogan 9:56 I usually do, bro. This guy-

Fahim Anwar 9:58 Come on. You think I'd be so bold to not turn it off?

Guest 10:00 Uh, follow on Instagram, uh, makes the photos that way with a truck. He turned a whole truck into a, a camera, essentially.

Fahim Anwar 10:07 Oh, that's cool.

Guest 10:08 And the process of it is crazy, so, like, it could be a miss sometimes-

Joe Rogan 10:11 That means-

Guest 10:11 ... because of how much work he's doing to set it up.

Fahim Anwar 10:13 I imagine trying to convince these women it's a camera and not some creepy-

Joe Rogan 10:16 Oh, yeah.

Fahim Anwar 10:17 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:17 I'd be like, "You are a psycho."

Guest 10:17 No, no, it's, it's a camera. Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 10:19 Just come into the woods and pose for me.

Joe Rogan 10:21 So, he turned his truck into a camera. He, like, he built his own camera.

Guest 10:24 And it, like, it, the whole thing is, like, the, the dark room, you know, everything, and then-

Joe Rogan 10:28 Hmm.

Guest 10:28 ... he does the chemical process. It makes really cool photos on, like, on metal. He's printing them right to metal.

Joe Rogan 10:34 Whoa.

Fahim Anwar 10:34 That is kind of the-

Guest 10:35 The m- most of the photos we have is, like, a transfer to metal. These are directly to metal.

Joe Rogan 10:38 Is that how they first started making photos? They put them on metal?

Guest 10:41 I don't think it was metal. Well, plates. Yeah, I think it would be plates.

Fahim Anwar 10:44 Nice, returning it to nature.

Joe Rogan 10:45 Oh, that one didn't work?

Guest 10:46 Yeah. Like a-

Joe Rogan 10:46 So, he's just throwing it?

Guest 10:47 Yep, yep.

Joe Rogan 10:48 Hey, dude, don't litter.

Guest 10:49 (laughs) Yeah. Frankly though, no.

Fahim Anwar 10:50 He's downing himself.

Joe Rogan 10:51 Come on, it's, I know you're mad that your fucking homemade camera doesn't work, but better pick that up, bitch.

Fahim Anwar 10:56 That's the beauty of YouTube, is-

Joe Rogan 10:57 No, imagine that. That guy just littered.

Guest 10:58 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 10:59 Yeah. You think that's not natural?

Joe Rogan 11:01 No, and fucking... Don't you can't litter in those places, bro.

Fahim Anwar 11:02 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:02 There's too many people visit. Think about how many people visit, like, national parks.

Fahim Anwar 11:06 (coughs)

Joe Rogan 11:06 It's, like, so important not to litter.

Fahim Anwar 11:08 To throw a metal thing.

Joe Rogan 11:08 No one's going in there cleaning up after you, you fucking animals. Don't do it. Don't litter when you're in the woods, man. My friend, Adam Greentree, he goes on these, uh, big backpacking hunts, where he'll go, he'll go into the, like, Montana mountains, Colorado mountains for, like, a month at a time. And he's just picking up bags of people's shit that they left behind, bags of empty water bottles, bags of trash. And he just brings a bag with him and he collects it while he's out there hunting. He's just... It's disgusting.

Fahim Anwar 11:37 That's nice of him to do. I'm sure there's tons of stuff out there.

Joe Rogan 11:39 It's so disturbing, though, that people do that. It's, uh, it's the worst aspect of us, this just total willingness through completely being selfish, of just destroying one of the most amazing things we have in this country, which is national parks and public lands and place where you could just walk out into the woods.

Fahim Anwar 12:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:03 There's tons of places in this country where you can just go on a hike in the fucking woods with bears and moose and all kinds of shit. You can just go out there, man.

Fahim Anwar 12:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:14 Hopefully, you know what you're doing, but nobody really tests you.

Fahim Anwar 12:17 Right. Nobody's allowed.

Joe Rogan 12:18 Nobody says, "Hey, Fahim, how long can you hike before you die?"

Fahim Anwar 12:21 (laughs) Let's find out.

Joe Rogan 12:22 "Hey, Fahim, did you, are you, do you do any cardio at all?"

Fahim Anwar 12:25 No.

Joe Rogan 12:25 "Hey, Fahim, do you know how to use a compass? Hey, Fahim, do you guys have fucking something to start fire with?" (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 12:30 Well, that's when you make the local news...

Joe Rogan 12:32 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 12:32 And then there's like a file photo of me, and like, "The search has been on for six days."

Joe Rogan 12:35 Ri- bro, it's so hard to stay alive. It's so hard. I've-

Fahim Anwar 12:39 You think... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:39 I've never, like, stayed alive...... you know, I'm obviously just talking out of my ass. But I have, uh, been camping, and one of the things that you realize when you go camping, if you just k- go camping just a few nights in a row, you realize, like, what fucking bitches people are. These animals, they sleep on the ground every night. They don't give a fuck.

Fahim Anwar 12:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:59 They're out there wild. There's no doors, there's no borders, and they have all these defense mechanisms that they developed to protect them from predators because of that, because there's no hiding. Every day is war. If you're a (laughs) fucking deer, every day is like listening for branches snapping.

Fahim Anwar 13:16 Yeah, that's just life.

Joe Rogan 13:17 Every day.

Fahim Anwar 13:18 I remember I was like... Uh, I was, uh, snorkeling in Hawaii, and you get to see all that marine life down there.

Joe Rogan 13:23 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 13:23 And I just saw this sea turtle, so peaceful, and then part of me was like, "He doesn't have to worry about rent or... and he, he doesn't have to-

Joe Rogan 13:29 True.

Fahim Anwar 13:29 ... make money to exist-"

Joe Rogan 13:31 Right, true.

Fahim Anwar 13:31 ... which was like an interesting concept, but he has so many other problems too.

Joe Rogan 13:34 He's got problems.

Fahim Anwar 13:35 He's got problems.

Joe Rogan 13:36 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 13:36 But there's just something about, like, that being enough for this turtle just kind of floating, whereas like, "I gotta get a job. I gotta go on tour. I gotta make money. I have to have an a- apartment. I have to..." You know what I mean? All these things humans need to do to exist.

Joe Rogan 13:48 The turtle's a residual effect of evolution that's no longer necessary, but we think they're beautiful.

Fahim Anwar 13:54 I think they're beautiful, man.

Joe Rogan 13:55 We think they're cool.

Fahim Anwar 13:56 Cool guys. They live a long time.

Joe Rogan 13:57 When you, when you see a turtle, you're like, "Hey, bro. This design is not gonna survive."

Fahim Anwar 14:01 Man, I can watch a turtle eat lettuce forever.

Joe Rogan 14:03 Dude.

Fahim Anwar 14:03 Doesn't Stallone still have his turtle from Rocky?

Joe Rogan 14:06 Whoa. Is it that old?

Fahim Anwar 14:07 It's old, man. They live a long time.

Joe Rogan 14:09 Oh, my god. I had turtles. I had to get rid of them when I had babies, 'cause turtles are dirty little creatures.

Fahim Anwar 14:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:15 You don't wanna have that stuff around, but they were ruthless.

Fahim Anwar 14:19 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:20 I would feed them.

Fahim Anwar 14:20 Slowly ruthless?

Joe Rogan 14:21 No, I would feed them goldfish. Dude, I had piranhas at one point in time.

Fahim Anwar 14:26 Of course you did. That's like the most Joe Rogan pet.

Joe Rogan 14:28 And, uh, they were not nearly as ruthless as these fucking turtles.

Fahim Anwar 14:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:34 Look at that. Rocky's still got the same turtle.

Guest 14:36 44 years old. At least this is-

Joe Rogan 14:38 Wow.

Guest 14:38 This was five years ago, so he'd be 49 now.

Fahim Anwar 14:40 Turtle looks great. He looks 10.

Joe Rogan 14:41 I'm sure they're not dead yet. They've, they... I bet they do, because tortoises live like 1,000 years, don't they?

Fahim Anwar 14:47 Something, a long time.

Joe Rogan 14:48 I think sea turtles live a long fucking time too, which is like the saddest thing when you see people kill them and eat them, and you're like, "Ooh." You're killing something that's like...

Fahim Anwar 14:55 But how good must they be though? How, how tasty if they're doing that?

Joe Rogan 14:57 You think so?

Fahim Anwar 14:58 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:58 You gotta starve them.

Fahim Anwar 14:59 Isn't that the thing with shark fin soup? And you're like, "How good must it be?"

Joe Rogan 15:02 Uh, aquatic turtles will c- commonly live 20 to 30 years in captivity, but many can live much longer. Tortoises are m- lone, uh, some estimated to live 100 to 150 years. So it's not t- tortoises. Is it sea turtles that live forever? Who are the old ones? So some of them can live up to 250 years. What about, uh-

Fahim Anwar 15:24 Jeez.

Joe Rogan 15:24 ... sea turtles? Maybe it's sea turtles.

Fahim Anwar 15:26 Do you think there's like-

Joe Rogan 15:27 I think they're really old.

Fahim Anwar 15:28 ... a family that has a turtle that's been in the family for generations? Like it's 249 years old.

Joe Rogan 15:34 Wow. That's impressive.

Fahim Anwar 15:34 Like, "This is my great-great-grandfather's turtle."

Joe Rogan 15:36 That's a solid question.

Fahim Anwar 15:37 That'd be awesome.

Joe Rogan 15:39 I think there's sharks that are alive today that are the oldest living creatures.

Guest 15:44 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 15:45 I think there's sharks-

Guest 15:46 Th- they're estimated up to... Oh, oh, sorry.

Joe Rogan 15:49 Go ahead.

Guest 15:49 10 thou... What? One...

Joe Rogan 15:51 1,000 years, right?

Guest 15:52 Some 1 and 1,000.

Joe Rogan 15:53 Okay.

Guest 15:54 Oh, it says surviving. I r- I was reading it wrong. Sorry. It's too many words.

Joe Rogan 15:57 Lifespan fi- 100 years, but there's one turtle, there's some fucking turtle that l- they think is really old.

Guest 16:04 Well, it says estimate up to 500 years old.

Joe Rogan 16:06 Oh, okay.

Guest 16:07 Here's one right here. I don't know.

Fahim Anwar 16:08 I mean, they just look old.

Joe Rogan 16:10 That's it.

Fahim Anwar 16:10 No t- you don't, you never see a turtle in your life that's this big still.

Joe Rogan 16:12 Large turtles. That's what I'm talking about. 500 years old. That's fucking bonkers, man. (laughs) That's like pre-George Washington.

Fahim Anwar 16:21 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:21 Wrap your head around that. You're a baby-

Fahim Anwar 16:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:24 ... turtle. You're just fucking chill, and all of the sudden, these boats pull up.

Fahim Anwar 16:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:27 And you're like, "This isn't gonna be anything."

Fahim Anwar 16:28 Do you think some of these turtles are not that progressive because they're pretty old, and they, they haven't been able-

Joe Rogan 16:33 They're probably super conservative.

Fahim Anwar 16:34 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:35 Yeah, they probably watch Fox News while they watch... (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 16:36 They're like, "Women are wearing pants? What is this?"

Joe Rogan 16:39 (laughs) I see ankles.

Fahim Anwar 16:39 "This wasn't happening when I-

Joe Rogan 16:40 You whore.

Fahim Anwar 16:41 ... when I came up."

Joe Rogan 16:42 Yeah. You ever see a, um, a... there's a, a snapping turtle? What do they, what do they call them? The really crazy looking ones? It's like a dinosaur looking thing. It's a type of snapping turtle, but there's a, like a gator snapping turtle. I think maybe that's what they call it, alligator snapping turtle.

Fahim Anwar 17:00 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 17:00 It's crazy looking, dude. You can't even believe it's a real creature. And these assholes (laughs) are picking him up. And you're like, "Bro, if you fuck up, that thing's taking your hand. It's take- like, literally taking your hand." They're big.

Fahim Anwar 17:12 Yeah, I wouldn't do that. Jesus.

Joe Rogan 17:14 Look at that fucking mouth. But there's some big ones. Look at that one on the...

Fahim Anwar 17:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:17 Look at the size of that one.

Fahim Anwar 17:18 He's huge.

Joe Rogan 17:18 That's what I'm talking about, like that guy has. That guy's out of his fucking mind.

Fahim Anwar 17:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:22 If that maw gets ahold of one of those fingers, that shit is so gone, and you're trusting your grip. Look at that thing, man.

Fahim Anwar 17:30 Right.

Joe Rogan 17:30 You're trusting your grip.

Guest 17:31 Look at that nose. It's like a-

Joe Rogan 17:33 Bro.

Guest 17:34 ... turtle, a fucking pig snout.

Joe Rogan 17:34 Fuck all that. That is a monster. If that was big and storming into a village in Mongolia 1,000 years ago in some crazy movie, you'd be like, "Oh my god." You know, if some Lord of the Rings type movie.

Fahim Anwar 17:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:47 That would exactly be-

Fahim Anwar 17:49 I'd move.

Joe Rogan 17:49 ... what it would look like, and there'd be guys with straps around that thing riding it.

Fahim Anwar 17:53 Oh, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:53 Right?

Fahim Anwar 17:54 That's, that's like those scenes in the movies where-

Joe Rogan 17:56 Whoa, look at that thing.

Fahim Anwar 17:56 Yeah, where the heroes are, are against a wall, but then the people riding these things come in from the side.

Joe Rogan 18:01 And you go, "Yeah." Bro, we are so weak.

Fahim Anwar 18:04 What, just humans in general? Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:04 Humans. We're so weak. It's... What an amazing trade-off though.

Fahim Anwar 18:08 But we have bombs.

Joe Rogan 18:09 Yeah, we have guns. We have everything. We have houses.

Fahim Anwar 18:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:12 We have cars. We have so many different things.

Fahim Anwar 18:14 We made up for it.

Joe Rogan 18:15 We way made up for it. But isn't it interesting that as you make up for it, you have to give away your physical defenses? We're the most vulnerable. A good house cat could fuck you up.

Fahim Anwar 18:29 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:29 A house cat can fuck you up.

Fahim Anwar 18:29 If you're not ready. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:30 Dude. A rat, for sure. A rat the size of a house cat could fuck you up. You'd be so scared of that thing.

Fahim Anwar 18:36 Yeah. I saw this video. You know, you see videos on Twitter and stuff. This guy in New York, there's a possum just on the side of this building.

Joe Rogan 18:43 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 18:43 And then, and then this, this, this white guy helps the neighborhood out. He just grabs it off the wall, and it's like...... and everyone's just thanking this guy, and he just knows how to handle the possum.

Joe Rogan 18:53 Oh, Jesus.

Fahim Anwar 18:53 And he walks it down the street, and he just, like, throws it into an alley. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:57 Yeah. My dog, Marshall, likes possums. That's a, that's a person who grew up on a farm. That lady just grabs that thing, right? Look at that lady.

Fahim Anwar 19:01 I just love how this is a sub-genre on the internet, grabbing possums.

Joe Rogan 19:04 That lady just grabbed that thing like she knew exactly what the fuck she was doing. Look at her walk out, confidently. Look at her, she's all confident and shit, holding onto that wild rat.

Fahim Anwar 19:12 Like, does she have experience? I wouldn't...

Joe Rogan 19:14 She must. She must. Unless it's hers.

Fahim Anwar 19:17 That's true.

Joe Rogan 19:17 Maybe it's like a YouTube gag.

Fahim Anwar 19:18 She's like, "My bad, guys. She got out."

Joe Rogan 19:20 She's releasing possums like, "Oh, he got a little crazy." Roscoe.

Fahim Anwar 19:24 (laughs) Cut that out.

Joe Rogan 19:25 You cut that out.

Fahim Anwar 19:26 Roscoe.

Joe Rogan 19:26 You cut that out, Roscoe.

Fahim Anwar 19:27 We're in an Applebees. Come on.

Joe Rogan 19:28 Roscoe. R- they have a disease, a very specific disease, right? Don't, don't, uh, possums have like something nasty? I think they have something na... I was worried 'cause my dogs got them a couple of times.

Fahim Anwar 19:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:40 They just lock up. They don't even fight back.

Fahim Anwar 19:42 They get scared. Yes.

Joe Rogan 19:43 No, they lock up. They play possum.

Fahim Anwar 19:45 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 19:45 They dead. They're like, they're dead.

Fahim Anwar 19:47 Oh, so that's where the fucking term comes from. Ah.

Joe Rogan 19:48 That's where it comes from. Yeah. It's a weird response.

Fahim Anwar 19:50 So, I mean, the possums have the same technique.

Joe Rogan 19:51 They don't know if it's a response to escape coyotes, 'cause coyotes sometimes will kill you and not eat you immediately, and maybe there's some sort of an evolutionary advantage to playing dead, and they leave you there, but you're not actually dead, and so they give up on trying to eat you yet. She got, uh-

Guest 20:11 Parasites-

Joe Rogan 20:11 ... toxoplasmosis.

Guest 20:12 ... Toxo, and then something called Leptos.

Joe Rogan 20:14 Yeah.

Guest 20:16 So virus versus-

Joe Rogan 20:16 All kinds of bad shit. (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 20:18 (laughs) Yeah. All-

Joe Rogan 20:18 Uh, coccidiasis? How do you say that first one? Coccidia-sis? Come on, dude, you went to college.

Fahim Anwar 20:25 I mean, I didn't study this.

Joe Rogan 20:26 Help me out. (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 20:26 I didn't study possums. I'm an engineer. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:29 (laughs) How do you say that? Cocc-

Fahim Anwar 20:30 Cocc-

Joe Rogan 20:30 Coccidia-sis?

Fahim Anwar 20:32 ... coccidiasis.

Joe Rogan 20:32 ... -iasis. A microscopic parasite found in possum feces spreads a disease known as coccidiosis. When possums are immune to this disease, they are carriers and spread it to other animals. Hmm.

Guest 20:46 Diarrhea.

Fahim Anwar 20:47 Ah.

Joe Rogan 20:47 Yeah. Uh, bloody diarrhea, dehydration, weight loss, general decline in health, if untreated can result in complications or death. Oh, shit.

Guest 20:55 This one sounds tough.

Fahim Anwar 20:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:56 Death by parasites. You know what they give you when you have parasites?

Fahim Anwar 20:59 What?

Joe Rogan 20:59 Ivermectin.

Fahim Anwar 21:00 Oh, really? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:02 Yeah. Um, yeah, that's what it's originally for.

Fahim Anwar 21:04 Aw.

Guest 21:04 Because dogs are susceptible to this one.

Joe Rogan 21:06 A dog's susceptible to, uh, Lepto...

Guest 21:09 Leptos-

Joe Rogan 21:10 ... Leptospirosis?

Guest 21:11 Yup.

Joe Rogan 21:11 Leptospirosis. Bacterial infection through contact with a possum, urine, or contaminated water. Both pets and humans can... So it doesn't... I wonder if that means if they bite them. If they bite them, they definitely can get toxo if they eat them.

Fahim Anwar 21:24 So, the moral of the story is just stay away from possums if you can, right?

Joe Rogan 21:27 Toxo-

Fahim Anwar 21:27 I, I would imagine.

Joe Rogan 21:28 Toxo's the wildest.

Fahim Anwar 21:29 Yeah. Uh.

Joe Rogan 21:30 Do you know that they think that somewhere, um, in some places, like at France, at one point in time, 50% of the population was positive for toxo?

Fahim Anwar 21:39 (laughs) No. Why? From what?

Joe Rogan 21:40 Cats.

Fahim Anwar 21:41 Ah.

Joe Rogan 21:41 From feral cats. Feral cats leave cat shit around, and that's why they tell pregnant women, "Never touch cat litter." It's, it could re-... It's really bad for the kid if the woman's pregnant and she gets toxo.

Fahim Anwar 21:52 Oh, oh fuck.

Joe Rogan 21:53 But it's a parasite that infects your brain, and, uh, the wildest thing about it is what it does to rats, 'cause it rewires the rat's sexual reward system, this parasite does, and gets the rat horny for cat piss. So, the cat i- is like pissing somewhere. The rat finds where the cat's pissing, and he's literally erect, and he has-

Fahim Anwar 22:13 Is he just sucking the liquid or what?

Joe Rogan 22:14 No fear of cats. Zero fear of cats. Their fear of cats completely goes away to the point where they pursue cats. So, the cats eat the rats because toxo can only grow and can only reproduce inside the cat's digestive tract. So, inside, inside the cat's gut, it's reproducing. The cat shits it out, and then the cycle repeats itself. The rats eat it. The rats eat the cat shit. Rats always eat shit. They get toxo. They give it to other cats.

Fahim Anwar 22:44 Vicious cycle.

Joe Rogan 22:44 And it gets to people, and it makes people reckless.

Fahim Anwar 22:46 Ah.

Joe Rogan 22:47 It makes... It, it's that a disproportionate amount of high instances of toxo are connected to successful soccer teams. (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 22:54 How do you know so much about toxo? Like-

Joe Rogan 22:56 I'm fascinated by it. There's this guy, Robert Sapolsky, out of, uh, Stanford? Is he out of Stanford?

Guest 23:01 He... Yeah, I believe so.

Joe Rogan 23:02 Um, brilliant guy. But, uh, he did all this work on toxoplasmosis. One of the f- things they found when he was a resident... Or maybe it was one of his friends that was a resident. Um, they found that there was a disproportionate amount of motorcycle victims who tested positive for toxo. So, they started testing motorcycle victims for toxo, and they found that there's a disproportionate amount. Enough to indicate that there's probably something going on there.

Fahim Anwar 23:26 Oh.

Joe Rogan 23:26 That maybe the toxo makes people more reckless.

Fahim Anwar 23:29 That's so weird how that can make you do that.

Joe Rogan 23:31 Psh. It's nuts, dude. D- think of how many people have feral cats, how many people probably have it. You can have it and not even have any idea, have no inclination that you have it.

Fahim Anwar 23:40 I'm gonna get tested for toxo now.

Joe Rogan 23:42 You're just a little cuckoo.

Fahim Anwar 23:43 Like, "Dude, I had it the whole time."

Joe Rogan 23:44 You're just a little cuckoo.

Guest 23:46 It's about 40% of-

Fahim Anwar 23:47 Damn.

Guest 23:47 ... population in America.

Joe Rogan 23:49 40% (laughs) .

Fahim Anwar 23:50 That's so much.

Joe Rogan 23:51 40% has toxo.

Guest 23:52 Up to... Could be.

Joe Rogan 23:53 16 to 40%. Let's just say it's only 16. Do you know how nuts that is?

Fahim Anwar 23:57 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:57 It's, it's a parasite that infects your b- affects your behavior? That's so bananas.

Fahim Anwar 24:02 I know.

Joe Rogan 24:04 How nuts is that?

Guest 24:04 It's pretty...

Joe Rogan 24:05 And most people aren't even aware of that?

Fahim Anwar 24:08 Get tested, guys. This is like a PSA. Get tested for toxo.

Joe Rogan 24:11 Yeah. It's, uh... What are the side effects? Or what are the effects? I know there's like a loss of, uh, inhibition, I think, that comes with it. Something along those lines. Like more recklessness.

Fahim Anwar 24:21 Maybe that's good before you hit the stage. Toxo just makes you fearless as a comedian.

Joe Rogan 24:24 Well, that, you know, but good head injury.

Fahim Anwar 24:25 Next time he has toxo.

Joe Rogan 24:27 Good head injury is good for that too.

Fahim Anwar 24:28 Yeah. A good head injury?

Joe Rogan 24:29 A good head injury when you're younger.

Fahim Anwar 24:32 Yeah, helpful.

Joe Rogan 24:32 Like, you wouldn't recommend it, but two of the all-time greats had like big head injuries, and they turned into-

Fahim Anwar 24:38 Kenison?

Joe Rogan 24:38 Kenison and Roseanne.

Fahim Anwar 24:39 And who's the other one?

Joe Rogan 24:40 Roseanne.

Fahim Anwar 24:40 Roseanna? I didn't know she had a head injury.

Joe Rogan 24:41 She got hit by a car. Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 24:43 Oh.

Joe Rogan 24:44 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 24:44 Adam Levine got hit by a car too when he was like-

Joe Rogan 24:45 Oh, Jesus.

Fahim Anwar 24:46 Yeah, yeah. I think he broke his bones and stuff-

Joe Rogan 24:48 Oh my God.

Fahim Anwar 24:48 ... when he was a kid.

Joe Rogan 24:49 That's so scary.

Fahim Anwar 24:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:51 I've, I've been watching more car accidents because of Instagram than at any other time in my life.Instagram just wants to show you people dyin'. (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 24:59 Well, X too, man.

Joe Rogan 25:02 X too. Well, X is everything.

Fahim Anwar 25:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:04 X has porn on it, which is so wild. That during the time where they were trying to take people ... take their accounts away for COVID information, that they didn't think was correct at the time-

Fahim Anwar 25:14 Mm.

Joe Rogan 25:15 ... th- they were allowing, like, hardcore porn. (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 25:17 I, I know. You for-, you forget it's the Wild Wild West on there.

Joe Rogan 25:19 And I'm not saying they shouldn't.

Fahim Anwar 25:21 Sh- sure.

Joe Rogan 25:21 I'd love that it's the Wild Wild West.

Fahim Anwar 25:22 But it's, it's, it's such whiplash. Like, I'll be watching a cat video-

Joe Rogan 25:25 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 25:25 ... and then it's just some guy, you know-

Joe Rogan 25:28 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 25:28 ... getting hit by a car.

Joe Rogan 25:29 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 25:30 And I'm like, "Jesus." Like-

Joe Rogan 25:31 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 25:31 ... give me a minute. Let me brace myself and ...

Joe Rogan 25:33 Instagram knows, uh, that I watch those, those motherfuckers.

Fahim Anwar 25:36 It's serving you up. It knows your algo. Like-

Joe Rogan 25:37 It's just serving me up. There's a lot of these ... I'm not even following these accounts.

Fahim Anwar 25:41 You like this guy dying. You may like this guy.

Joe Rogan 25:43 Yeah. It's, like, it's weird. Like, should your feed be only people you follow, or should they show you a bunch of shit? That-

Fahim Anwar 25:49 Well, that's what these companies are struggling with. Because when it was all just your circle, people weren't consuming as much as the suggested videos.

Joe Rogan 25:57 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 25:57 You know what's funny is, like, I got shadow banned on Instagram for, like, around Thanksgiving.

Joe Rogan 26:02 What did you do?

Fahim Anwar 26:03 Hardly anything. And it's, it sucks because I'm trying to do a special via nontraditional means. You know? Like, it's not Netflix. It's not Comedy Central.

Joe Rogan 26:10 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 26:11 Like, this is a model now because of, like, you and YouTube. Like, this is a viable alternative to, like, the Netflix, Comedy Central special, whatever. So, it's like you need the power of these social media companies to reach people. So, like, doing podcasts and you do the YouTube special, that's, like, an arm of it. And then you disseminate. Uh, Ari Shaffir has, like, been very helpful with, like, trying to self-release a special. So you, like, chop it up into clips. Like, this is what I did with my last one, you know?

Joe Rogan 26:38 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 26:38 And you just chop up ... 'Cause most people are gonna access you via clips. Like, everyone has time for 30 seconds.

Joe Rogan 26:45 Right.

Fahim Anwar 26:45 'Cause the hour-long special is kind of for jazz heads. You gotta be a real stand-up comedy-

Joe Rogan 26:49 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 26:49 ... nerd to, like, sit down and watch an hour.

Joe Rogan 26:52 Jazz head.

Fahim Anwar 26:52 It's, it's for real.

Joe Rogan 26:53 Right.

Fahim Anwar 26:53 I was talking to-

Joe Rogan 26:54 Like a guy who's got vinyl.

Fahim Anwar 26:55 I swear it is. 'Cause, like, I was talking to Roy Wood Jr., and, like, sometimes because we're in standup, we just think it's the world, because it is our world.

Joe Rogan 27:04 Right.

Fahim Anwar 27:04 And we think that it translates to the rest. And he kind of, he, like, bird's eye viewed it for me. He's like, "Yo, when you go on Spotify, standup is under jazz." You know what I mean? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:16 Hmm.

Fahim Anwar 27:16 He goes, "As an art form-

Joe Rogan 27:18 Right.

Fahim Anwar 27:18 ... it's under jazz. Jazz is more popular." And I'm like ... It kind of put everything into focus for me, where, you know, I don't have to be as invested. I'm like, "Okay. There's a ceiling to what you can do."

Joe Rogan 27:30 Right, right.

Fahim Anwar 27:30 But anyway, you ... I need the clips. Like, I need the arm of the clips, because, uh, like I h- I had some clips do, like, 12 mil and stuff, and people were able to find me via Instagram Reels. So, when they shadow banned me, like, it tells you. You can look at your account status and it'll ... there'll be marks on there. It'll say, um, th- there was, like, three strikes and stuff. And then one of the things it said is, "Your content will not be shown to non-followers." And that's kind of how the machine works. Like, your stuff gets suggested to people who may not have known about you, so you need that as an artist if you wanna grow.

Joe Rogan 28:06 Right.

Fahim Anwar 28:06 Like, to see your special-

Joe Rogan 28:08 Right.

Fahim Anwar 28:08 ... and your standup. So, you're, you're being suppressed. You're being limited.

Joe Rogan 28:11 How do you know you were shadow banned?

Fahim Anwar 28:13 'Cause, uh, it tells you on your account status, and then I had people ... Talking to people who work at IG or Meta or whatever, and they're like, "Yeah. It's shadow banned. Um ..."

Joe Rogan 28:22 What did you do?

Fahim Anwar 28:24 I think it's because it's an election cycle or something. Like, it's not even a human doing it. I think it just scrapes for buzzwords and just blanket, uh, has these suppression on it. So, I had this joke-

Joe Rogan 28:37 God, that sounds so creepy.

Fahim Anwar 28:38 Well, it's a n- it sucks because there's no nuance to it. It was just a joke. You know my Feem Works on Stuff show? I, I do it on YouTube sometime-

Joe Rogan 28:45 Sure.

Fahim Anwar 28:45 ... where I'm just working on material.

Joe Rogan 28:47 Right.

Fahim Anwar 28:47 I just do it to feed the algo, and sometimes there's a great joke that works, and I just post it on a Reel 'cause it's, like, 80% of the way there and I'm just feeding the algo. So, this joke w- I post, I post it on all of them. You know? I do a clip and then I post it on all the social media platforms. So, it remained on TikTok, and all the other ones it was fine, and usually TikTok is very draconian. Like, they don't like-

Joe Rogan 29:07 Hmm. Right.

Fahim Anwar 29:07 ...'cause it's mostly kids. So, the joke, it's a, I just go ... It's a non sequitur. You know? Just outta nowhere I'm like, "Oh, I just, I just wanna let you guys know Hamas is hiding at my ex-girlfriend's house." (laughs) So, so, so that's the joke. It's like saying something without saying something.

Joe Rogan 29:24 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 29:24 It's just, you know-

Joe Rogan 29:26 It's just a joke.

Fahim Anwar 29:27 It's a joke, and like-

Joe Rogan 29:28 Oh my God. We can't have jokes about where Hamas is hiding.

Fahim Anwar 29:29 Yeah, yeah. So that's all, that's all I said.

Joe Rogan 29:31 Oh my God.

Fahim Anwar 29:32 And, uh, and then I think it just saw Hamas on the thumbnail. You know when you post on the grid? And then-

Joe Rogan 29:38 So if you-

Fahim Anwar 29:38 ... I got a strike for that. And then there was no way to reach people, and I'm just fucked.

Joe Rogan 29:42 Wait a minute. So, any mention of Hamas gets you shadow banned? Is that what you're saying?

Fahim Anwar 29:45 Yes. Yeah. Pretty much. I think it just, uh, it's this machine learning or whatever it is. It's just scraping the internet for, like, buzzwords. So, that was, like, a hot button issue and stuff, and there's no nuance applied to the situation or the joke.

Joe Rogan 29:58 (sighs) .

Fahim Anwar 29:58 So, it just sees Hamas, and then my account got hit like that.

Joe Rogan 30:02 So, is it any joke about Hamas or just mentioning Hamas?

Fahim Anwar 30:06 I don't think the joke was even taken into consideration. I think they just saw Hamas on a thumbnail or Hamas on a caption-

Joe Rogan 30:14 Hmm.

Fahim Anwar 30:14 ... not knowing that it's a guy on stage-

Joe Rogan 30:15 Hmm.

Fahim Anwar 30:15 ... doing a joke.

Joe Rogan 30:16 Right.

Fahim Anwar 30:17 And there's layers to the-

Joe Rogan 30:18 Did you appeal it?

Fahim Anwar 30:18 Yes. I tried to appeal it, and then it was just stuck in review forever. So-

Joe Rogan 30:23 Hmm.

Fahim Anwar 30:23 ... nothing was gonna happen. Like, I was, I was pretty much fucked, so I know influencers in LA and stuff, and I was like ... And sometimes when they're pretty high up on IG, they have a contact or something more than a nebulous-

Joe Rogan 30:35 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 30:35 'Cause you can't ... These companies are so ... There's no point person. It, I think it's like that for a reason. So, they tried to help me out. They had a guy, and we were going back and forth and nothing was getting done. And luckily, I'm at a large agency, like a talent agency, and they were going at it too, trying to help. And, like, just a week ago, it got lifted. Because-

Joe Rogan 30:56 A week ago?

Fahim Anwar 30:56 Yes. And then, so the joke is up.... whereas before, it wasn't. So, it's like it didn't even happen.

Joe Rogan 31:01 Oh.

Fahim Anwar 31:01 It's like I had someone vouch for me, and then they ... like, hands were off. It was fine.

Joe Rogan 31:04 Hmm.

Fahim Anwar 31:05 But only because I had the might of this t- talent agency. If I was, like, a regular guy-

Joe Rogan 31:09 Uh-huh.

Fahim Anwar 31:09 ... I would just be fucked.

Joe Rogan 31:10 Well, that is the thing about a- an agency, it can get in contact with someone who ... you know, there's a value in that, for sure.

Fahim Anwar 31:16 Yeah, so much.

Joe Rogan 31:17 Especially in this weird time. But you also have to realize, from their perspective, they're managing at scale literally billions of people.

Fahim Anwar 31:24 Yes, so I-

Joe Rogan 31:24 I mean, Facebook and Instagram are all the same company, right? It's all Meta. So, like, how many, how many Meta customers are there? Let's just guess.

Fahim Anwar 31:33 So many. Well, isn't it, like, a small nation when you add up-

Joe Rogan 31:36 L-

Fahim Anwar 31:36 ... how many Facebook users?

Joe Rogan 31:36 I don't think it's very small nation.

Fahim Anwar 31:38 It's-

Joe Rogan 31:38 I think it's, I think it's a really big one. I think it's a really big one. I- I- I wanna say it's north of two billion.

Fahim Anwar 31:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:46 That's a big-ass country.

Guest 31:48 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 31:48 But it's a, it's-

Joe Rogan 31:49 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 31:49 ... it's an imperfect solution.

Guest 31:50 Daily active use- users on Meta products-

Joe Rogan 31:53 Yeah.

Guest 31:53 ... is 3.19 billion.

Joe Rogan 31:58 (exhales)

Fahim Anwar 31:59 Yeah.

Guest 31:59 That's half the fucking world.

Joe Rogan 32:00 That's so many people.

Fahim Anwar 32:01 That's a lotta people.

Joe Rogan 32:02 So, you have to think from their perspective-

Guest 32:05 Six is 3.6.

Joe Rogan 32:06 ... that they think they have an obligation somehow to, uh, maintain a certain level of discourse on their platform. This is how you could establish it initially. But then, when you get people in there that are very politically biased, and you get people in there that are socially biased, and you- ... and they only want one perspective being heard, and then you get a lot of people self-censoring. Because they self-censor because they're like, "Hey, I don't know what I can say and what I can't say. I don't want any opinions."

Fahim Anwar 32:35 Well, now I'm- now I'm like that.

Joe Rogan 32:37 Right, exactly. That's what I'm saying.

Fahim Anwar 32:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:39 Twitter does not do that. X does not do that.

Fahim Anwar 32:41 Right.

Joe Rogan 32:42 I don't like calling it X. I can still call it Twitter.

Fahim Anwar 32:44 I know.

Joe Rogan 32:44 I'm old-school, bro.

Fahim Anwar 32:45 I'm old-school.

Joe Rogan 32:46 Uh, it's ... 'cause it's not an X. You can't make an X, you make a tweet.

Fahim Anwar 32:49 True, true, yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:50 Right? I tweeted it. You X'd it? That's crazy.

Fahim Anwar 32:51 No, I say X'd it (laughs) .

Joe Rogan 32:54 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 32:54 I, I write hard for Elon. I'm like, "I was on X, and then I was just drafting a bunch of X's, and then I-"

Joe Rogan 32:58 That's just fucking ...

Fahim Anwar 32:59 "I X'd it."

Joe Rogan 33:00 What?

Fahim Anwar 33:00 What do you call it? Tweet? Oh, that, that's, that's, that's-

Joe Rogan 33:03 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 33:03 That's Jack Dorsey. This is Elon.

Joe Rogan 33:05 Yeah. The old days, kids. It just-

Fahim Anwar 33:08 So, it's nice to have my account back, but I'm- it was-

Joe Rogan 33:10 But I love that it's wild. Th- that's the ... the Twitter thing is, it's ... I mean, some of it is disturbing, when people get comfortable enough to just, like, really speak their mind about things. I'm like, "Oh, my God."

Fahim Anwar 33:20 Well, that's the thing about social media too, is, uh, uh, sometimes when you're a close-knit circle, your buddies kinda check you, like, "Hey, what are you doing?"

Joe Rogan 33:27 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 33:27 But social media, there's some people who have a lot of rope, and you're like, "Oh, no."

Joe Rogan 33:31 Yeah, and there's especially, like, isolated people.

Fahim Anwar 33:33 Yes. I see my friends get nutty on the road.

Joe Rogan 33:36 They're isolated. (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 33:36 Like, I'll get nut- ... like, you could tell your buddy has been on the road for too long, like they do a video in a hotel room or something-

Joe Rogan 33:42 Oh, no.

Fahim Anwar 33:42 ... and you're like, "Oh, no, they're losing their mind."

Joe Rogan 33:44 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 33:45 I've been guilty of that too, just when you're not surrounded by community and people-

Joe Rogan 33:50 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 33:50 ... and you're just a brain floating on the road.

Joe Rogan 33:52 The number one key that I found very early is go on the road with your friends.

Fahim Anwar 33:56 I'm lucky, o- ... I've entered a phase of my career where now I'm starting-

Joe Rogan 33:59 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 33:59 ... to be able to do that. Whereas before, you're not making enough money, so you're just beholden to whoever they book as a feature.

Joe Rogan 34:07 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 34:07 And you're just stuck in a hotel.

Joe Rogan 34:09 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 34:09 You're walking across a freeway to go to a Cracker Barrel and kill time.

Joe Rogan 34:13 I decided a long time ago, like '98, to do that. Just bring ... just pay more money.

Fahim Anwar 34:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:20 Give them the money. Just sp- ... make less money, but have a good time.

Fahim Anwar 34:25 It's worth it.

Joe Rogan 34:25 Dude, it's everything. It's everything.

Fahim Anwar 34:28 T- yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:28 Make less money, have a good time. Make more money, have a bad time, not fun. You don't like that. That's not a good feeling. Make less money, have a good time. And have everybody else have a good time too.

Fahim Anwar 34:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:39 So, it's a bunch of guys who are really good friends, who love each other, been on the road forever, going to dinners forever. I've had hundreds of dinners with Ahri and Joey Diaz and Duncan. And ... so, when we get together, it's just joy.

Fahim Anwar 34:53 It's the best.

Joe Rogan 34:54 It's just joy. It's just being with your favorite people, having a good time, doing the thing that you can't believe you get paid to do.

Fahim Anwar 35:01 Yeah. I'm- I'm able to do that now, I think, you know. I mean, I have to say thank you for like-

Joe Rogan 35:07 No, you're able to do it from your talent.

Fahim Anwar 35:08 I know, but I mean, this is a platform. 'Cause, like, I wasn't a Netflix guy. I wasn't a Comedy Central guy, and-

Joe Rogan 35:14 Which doesn't make any sense to me.

Fahim Anwar 35:16 Well, it's-

Joe Rogan 35:16 That just shows me-

Fahim Anwar 35:17 ... it's fine.

Joe Rogan 35:17 ... that Comedy Central and Netflix don't exist (laughs) .

Fahim Anwar 35:19 Well, look at how much of ... how many of my friends and peers are just skyrocketing, and they weren't the guys they picked, you know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 35:25 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 35:25 So, it's kind of validating and refreshing, and it's cool to see comedy policing itself and just promoting guys who are in the trenches and know what's up, not some guy who has a communications degree and is just-

Joe Rogan 35:36 Well, I think there's a lot of comedy-

Fahim Anwar 35:38 ... you know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 35:38 ... nerds now too that are really into comedy. They're really ... 'cause they get to see how the sausage is made from all the podcasts.

Fahim Anwar 35:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:46 You know, it's so ... Like, really, before that, I had always said this, like, there's so few conversations with great stand-ups, uh, that exist, like, from the George Carlin days or Richard Pryor days. There's not hours and hours of Pryor just sitting around, talking about things, which would've been amazing.

Fahim Anwar 36:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:05 Amazing. Can you imagine if Richard Pryor or George Carlin had a podcast?

Fahim Anwar 36:09 That's pretty nuts, I know. Yeah, I'd hear that-

Joe Rogan 36:10 Oh, my God, it would be insane. It'd be insane. And George has done some conversations where he talked about his writing process. He talked about, you know, the art form itself. But he had a very specific way of doing it that most people don't do it that way. He would write a monologue.

Fahim Anwar 36:25 Yeah, I saw that.

Joe Rogan 36:25 And then he would just sort of punch it up a little bit. That monologue would be his monologue for the year.

Fahim Anwar 36:29 It was amazing, but it was rigid, and he knew, he knew his beats and stuff, but yeah, brilliant.

Joe Rogan 36:34 Totally different process, totally different process, 'cause in the end, he became this guy who was (sighs) a comic as much as he was a social critic. It was like both things were the s- ... it was still a great comic, clearly, but he was also a great social critic. And he had ... because he didn't have a podcast, his view of the world came out in his stand-up, and he had to figure out a way to make that funny, and that was, like, his great challenge.

Fahim Anwar 37:01 Well, it gets so distilled when Matt's-

Joe Rogan 37:03 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 37:03 ... here, 'cause, like, we can talk at length and approximate it, and we have-

Joe Rogan 37:07 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 37:07 ... m-

Joe Rogan 37:07 And you can go back on what you said and go, "You know, actually, now that I'm thinking about it-"

Fahim Anwar 37:12 Right.

Joe Rogan 37:12 "I- I could see how you would look at it the other way too."... which is so goddamn important.

Fahim Anwar 37:17 Comedy fans are, are getting very granular. It's kind of cool. I think comedy's always been popular, but not like this. And I, I, I almost feel like it's, um, people are discovering standup this day and age, sort of like the way they used to discover music.

Joe Rogan 37:31 Mm.

Fahim Anwar 37:31 People are taking ownership of discovering comedians, 'cause even me, I'm kind of, like, under the radar. I'm, I'm pretty niche. And when a, a comedy fan likes me, there's just, like, a level of fandom. It's like they found a cool record at a-

Joe Rogan 37:45 Mm.

Fahim Anwar 37:45 ... at a record shop. Because of th- the advent of YouTube and Instagram, people aren't just accepting whatever is being fed to them through a corporate pipe.

Joe Rogan 37:56 Right, which used to be the case. Like, if you weren't picked before, you couldn't, you, you couldn't do anything.

Fahim Anwar 38:01 That was the only way to even get in front of people-

Joe Rogan 38:03 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 38:03 ... is, like, you had to be the corporate pick. Otherwise, you were just toiling in obscurity.

Joe Rogan 38:07 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 38:07 There was no way to even be seen. But now, there's all these ways to circumvent the traditional... Like, Schulz was saying something. It was like, like younger generations and stuff, they don't know, uh, where they saw it, l- or, like, what the medium is or the branding. They just know they saw it on a TV. Whether it's-

Joe Rogan 38:23 Hm.

Fahim Anwar 38:23 ... YouTube, whether it's Netflix, whether it's Amazon. Like, that type of branding is almost, like, legacy thinking from when I was coming up and you were coming up, and there was a way to do it.

Joe Rogan 38:33 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 38:34 People just like good now.

Joe Rogan 38:36 Well, they like what they like too, and there's plenty of variety. There's all sorts of different comics out there now that are really popular. It's a really interesting time. I think, like, for standup, like, for the art form, I don't think there's ever been a better time. There's never been more of it. There's never been more good ones. There's never been more good ones coming up.

Fahim Anwar 38:54 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 38:54 And that's one of the more interesting things about watching the club, 'cause occasionally I'll get to see these people that, uh, auditioned to be door people. Those are all comics.

Fahim Anwar 39:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:03 And I get to see 'em grow. It's fun. It's fun to watch, man. It's fun to watch people inspired, and that energy is in the whole room, you know, because there's all these different levels. The, uh, this guys like Hasaan and Derek who are now going on the road-

Fahim Anwar 39:16 Yeah, great guys. I love them.

Joe Rogan 39:17 ... and are killing it on the road.

Fahim Anwar 39:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:18 David Lucas is killing it on the road. William Montgomery's killing it on the road. And then there's, like, the headliners that come in that are there all the time, like Shane and Duncan-

Fahim Anwar 39:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:26 ... and Tom Segura, and all these people that come in to fuck around. But there's this feeling that starts at the bottom. It starts with the base. It starts with the people that are inspired about making it still. And then there's the people that are just getting in, and then there's the people that are in, and then there's the people that are on television, and everybody knows who they are, and they scream when they go on stage.

Fahim Anwar 39:46 Right.

Joe Rogan 39:47 Then there's Ron White.

Fahim Anwar 39:47 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:48 You know, there's those people. So it's like you get to see how we're all just the same thing. We're all just artists, y- uh, for lack of a pretentious word.

Fahim Anwar 39:56 We're, like Pokemon, just different evolutions.

Joe Rogan 39:58 We're just doing a weird art form.

Fahim Anwar 39:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:59 We're doing a weird art form that hasn't really, until now, been documented as to how to go about doing the process and how each one of us went about doing the process. And I think people are interested in that, just like I'm interested in that motherfucker that makes wood-

Fahim Anwar 40:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:13 ... wood tools. I love when people love things.

Fahim Anwar 40:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:17 I do.

Fahim Anwar 40:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:17 And even if it's something that I don't do, I love w- when people love things. Uh, uh-

Fahim Anwar 40:21 It's, you know.

Joe Rogan 40:22 ... anything, man. Anything.

Fahim Anwar 40:24 Well, it's so interesting how the blueprint as to make it whatever you wanna call it in comedy has shifted so fast in the past couple years.

Joe Rogan 40:33 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 40:33 'Cause when I was coming up, it was SNL. It was doing, like, a late night set. It was doing Premium Blend, like, these smaller showcase-type sets.

Joe Rogan 40:42 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 40:43 And then you do a half-hour. Like, a half-hour on Comedy Central was huge.

Joe Rogan 40:46 Right.

Fahim Anwar 40:46 Like, Dane had a monster half-hour. Um, just Gaffigan. You would... Louie, you know, these were like people's entry points to these people. And then now, there's really... Those things don't exist. Uh, I was taking, um-

Joe Rogan 40:59 Well, it's the viral clip now.

Fahim Anwar 41:00 Yes. So I, you know, I was on the road, and I took, uh... I was doing Cobbs, and I brought Matt Lockwood. He's a comedian from the Store. And, and we were just sitting, eating ice cream on the bench. And I'm, and I'm, you know, talking to the young comics, and I'm like, "What, what do you guys pine for now? Like, what is the thing?" 'Cause when I was coming up, I knew what the thing was, like, what we all wanted.

Joe Rogan 41:18 Right.

Fahim Anwar 41:18 It was, like, a JFL, uh-

Joe Rogan 41:20 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 41:20 ... showcase. It was a late-night set.

Joe Rogan 41:22 Just for Laughs for people who don't know.

Fahim Anwar 41:24 Just for Laughs, yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:24 Montreal.

Fahim Anwar 41:24 Yeah. The biggest set of your life is in French Canada. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:27 (laughs) It is.

Fahim Anwar 41:28 And then you make an Arby's joke, and you're like, "Oh, you don't have Arby's?" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:31 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 41:31 That would've been good, that would've been good to know in front of all these suits. "Uh, what e- what else is in the news?" Um, so I go, "What's your thing? What are you..." And he's like, "There's really nothing." That was weird to me that they had no touchstone. He goes, "Maybe, like, a clip goes viral or a podcast." It's just so nebulous now.

Joe Rogan 41:50 Right.

Fahim Anwar 41:51 There's no f- hard blueprint.

Joe Rogan 41:53 R- well, the blueprint before was kind of... Uh, the pro- the problem was it involved other stuff. The blueprint involved, like, getting a sitcom, getting a talk show, getting a something.

Fahim Anwar 42:02 Yes.

Joe Rogan 42:03 It always involved that.

Fahim Anwar 42:04 A means to an end, a springboard.

Joe Rogan 42:06 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 42:06 Like, you couldn't just be a comic.

Joe Rogan 42:08 No.

Fahim Anwar 42:08 You had to be a wacky neighbor.

Joe Rogan 42:09 Well, that was the thing that always bummed me out the most about Richard Jeni. You know, Richard Jeni, when he died, um, was one of the best comics ever, but was... Felt like a failure because he didn't become Jim Carrey-

Fahim Anwar 42:22 Hm.

Joe Rogan 42:22 ... 'cause he didn't become the guy who did the movies. The, the... He had a TV show. It was called Platypus Man that was on, like, one of those burgeoning networks, one of those new networks. Like, what was it?

Guest 42:31 WB.

Joe Rogan 42:32 WB, one of those.

Fahim Anwar 42:33 It was the Tubi of its day.

Joe Rogan 42:34 It was one of those weird networks-

Fahim Anwar 42:36 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 42:36 ... where, like, they started offering people deals to do shows that maybe wouldn't have got a show at NBC or ABC. But he was a great comic, man, a great fucking comic. And he never liked the fact that he was just a comic.

Fahim Anwar 42:51 But what's crazy is if you plug him in today-

Joe Rogan 42:53 He'd be a killer.

Fahim Anwar 42:54 ... he'd, yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:54 Arenas. Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 42:54 It's enou-

Joe Rogan 42:55 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 42:55 Like, you're enough. As a comic-

Joe Rogan 42:57 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 42:57 ... you're enough, whereas that used to never be the case. It was like, "What else do you do?"

Joe Rogan 43:01 Oh, it's such a disrespected art form. It's such... Like, it's something that everybody loves, but nobody, (laughs) nobody takes that seriously because-

Fahim Anwar 43:09 I know.

Joe Rogan 43:09 ... because it seems like the person on stage is doing what you can do. They're just talking.

Fahim Anwar 43:13 I know. I know. But they get up there, and they learn very quickly. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:15 (laughs) Yeah, oh, if they get up there.

Fahim Anwar 43:17 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:17 Yeah, they're getting there.

Fahim Anwar 43:17 Well, you ever have a drunk person who's like-

Joe Rogan 43:18 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 43:19 I'll do it sometimes. I'm like, "All right. Let's, let's try. Let's see what you got." And then they go, "Uh," and then everyone hates them.

Joe Rogan 43:23 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 43:24 (laughs) You wanted this, dude.

Joe Rogan 43:25 Yeah. Well, it's just people think... And then there's people that wanna do it and just don't know how to do it.

Fahim Anwar 43:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:32 There's a lot of that.

Fahim Anwar 43:33 I'll get that after shows. S- some, like, young comics, like-

Joe Rogan 43:35 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 43:35 ... "What do I do? I've been writing stuff." I'm like, "You just gotta get up."

Joe Rogan 43:37 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 43:37 "You just gotta walk into the fire."

Joe Rogan 43:38 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 43:39 And-

Joe Rogan 43:39 You just gotta do that first open mic night. After the first one, it'll be a lot easier. The first one's the hardest one, for sure.

Fahim Anwar 43:45 I always tell them-

Joe Rogan 43:45 The first one, (laughs) I was fucking terrified.

Fahim Anwar 43:47 Yeah. But the fact, if you even do it, do three minutes, and even if it's terrible, that is 99% further than most people ever do. So many people talk, but they never even-

Joe Rogan 43:58 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 43:58 Like, bomb for three minutes. That is a win, even, for real, 'cause you know what it feels like, at least.

Joe Rogan 44:04 If you have gotten laughs and then you bomb, I think that's better because at least you know you can get laughs. But if you start off bombing-

Fahim Anwar 44:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:14 ... the road to actually getting la- Like, if you bomb out of the gate, first time on stage, just death.

Fahim Anwar 44:19 Right.

Joe Rogan 44:19 Not even a chuckle. Th- And then another one.

Fahim Anwar 44:21 Well, if you come back, if you come back-

Joe Rogan 44:23 Boom.

Fahim Anwar 44:23 ... after that happens-

Joe Rogan 44:24 Yeah, you're an animal.

Fahim Anwar 44:26 ... then, yeah. Then-

Joe Rogan 44:26 Or you're a crazy person.

Fahim Anwar 44:27 Sure. (laughs) But those are-

Joe Rogan 44:28 You could be a crazy person.

Fahim Anwar 44:29 Those are, those are both great assets as a stand-up comedian. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:31 Occasionally.

Fahim Anwar 44:32 I guess.

Joe Rogan 44:32 The crazy person isn't always... You know. The crazy person isn't always... That's not really...

Fahim Anwar 44:38 Right. You have to harness the crazy.

Joe Rogan 44:40 Yeah. Some people, it's not harnessable.

Fahim Anwar 44:42 Hm.

Joe Rogan 44:42 You know. It's 1,000-horsepower engine on a fucking kid bike.

Fahim Anwar 44:45 Like, "What do I do with this?"

Joe Rogan 44:46 They have, like, a little kid's bike with a fucking giant-

Fahim Anwar 44:49 What a ride note. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:49 ... Corvette engine on it. (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 44:52 Oh, I also gotta thank you because of, I mean, it reminds me, um, I brought my parents to Tonight Show, and that's because of your podcast. I remember I was doing... I forget which one. I've been on a few times. But, like, you were like, "Have your parents seen you before?" And I'm like, uh, "Nah." I go... Th- They, they saw me do the Apollo when I was 18, and then I, I got booed at the Apollo.

Joe Rogan 45:14 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 45:14 And that was the first... Uh, I was, like, a few months into doing standup. And they're from Afghanistan, and this is not a thing you do, and-

Joe Rogan 45:21 Right.

Fahim Anwar 45:22 ... they wanted me to quit, and it was just very disgraceful of me doing this. And they seen me get booed by 4,000 people. I'm telling this story on the, I think (clears throat) the, um, one or two of, yeah. So, I, I get booed off stage and all that. And then you're like, "They gotta come see you again, man. You're great." And I go, I just have this mental block-

Joe Rogan 45:43 Right.

Fahim Anwar 45:43 ... because that was so bad-

Joe Rogan 45:45 Right.

Fahim Anwar 45:45 ... that, um, I just... It's like an emotional thing you just put in a closet, and you just ignore it.

Joe Rogan 45:51 Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 45:51 'Cause I just wanted to keep on, uh, doing comedy on my own and keeping my f- my parents and stuff, like, separate. And then you're like, "They gotta come see you." And then, on the podcast, I was like, uh... I just always had this fantasy of, like, it... when they see me, it being so good to counteract how bad that experience was.

Joe Rogan 46:12 Right, right.

Fahim Anwar 46:12 That it would be like a celebration that everything is okay, your son turned out okay.

Joe Rogan 46:17 Right.

Fahim Anwar 46:17 All of the worries you had, uh, you don't have to worry anymore. So, I think after I spoke it into existence o- on your pod, I actually went about doing it. So I hit up the booker at The Tonight Show, and I'm like... I mean, I guess I could've always done it, I just never... I know the booker. I go, "Can I do The Tonight Show? Like, I'd love to do it." I told him the whole story of, like, my parents have never seen me since that thing. This is, like, an emotional thing I need to take care of. Like, this isn't even about comedy anymore.

Joe Rogan 46:43 Wow. That's heavy.

Fahim Anwar 46:43 This is just, like, healing.

Joe Rogan 46:45 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 46:45 It's been this monkey on my back for 20 years, 21 years, you know.

Joe Rogan 46:50 Oh.

Fahim Anwar 46:50 And then he's like, "Send me a tape." I sent him a tape. So I actually did the work. I finally just went about doing the work. I went to the improv. I put a tape together. I sent it to him. He's like, "This is great. Come and do it." So then I flew my parents out to New York. And it was just very therapeutic to be able to give this to my parents because they know what The Tonight Show is. It was a celebration. It was... Like, this is way bigger than... Like, I love The Tonight Show. Thank you for letting me do it and all that stuff. But in the grand scheme of, like, entertainment and needle moving, it, it's not what it used to be, you know?

Joe Rogan 47:24 Right.

Fahim Anwar 47:24 You used to do Tonight Show when people were, like, honking and shouting your name from cars and shit.

Joe Rogan 47:27 That's how I found out about Richard Jeni.

Fahim Anwar 47:29 Oh. A just Tonight Show appearance?

Joe Rogan 47:31 Yeah, I saw him at The Tonight Show.

Fahim Anwar 47:32 Yeah. But this was just to give my parents a night out, and a memory, and a story for their parents.

Joe Rogan 47:37 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 47:37 So, I wore a suit.

Joe Rogan 47:39 Oh.

Fahim Anwar 47:39 I brought them out. They got to m- They got to meet Jimmy. They got to meet The Roots. The Roots came in.

Joe Rogan 47:44 Nice. Nice.

Fahim Anwar 47:44 And, uh, 'cause I'm, like, friends with The Roots somehow. So, like-

Joe Rogan 47:47 That's amazing.

Fahim Anwar 47:48 Yeah. Th- They're like, "Oh, your f- your son is amazing," blah, blah, blah. "You're, you raised a good kid and all that." So it was everything I would, I could ever dream of it being. And, and I th- that's, that stems from your pod, you know?

Joe Rogan 48:01 Well, it stems from you, dude.

Fahim Anwar 48:02 I know.

Joe Rogan 48:03 You put it together.

Fahim Anwar 48:03 But still, it just, um... When you talk about things and, and you speak something into existence, I think that's valuable, you know? Just this format.

Joe Rogan 48:10 Sure, but you also have to work at it. Think about it. You gotta put that set together. You gotta work at it.

Fahim Anwar 48:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:16 Gotta be real careful with that speak things into existence talk.

Fahim Anwar 48:19 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:20 'Cause you're a very dedicated and disciplined writer.

Fahim Anwar 48:22 Right.

Joe Rogan 48:23 You write all the time. You're always working on new material. You're always working on your material. You put a lot of time and effort into standup comedy.

Fahim Anwar 48:30 People say that. That's nice. Thank you. But I mean, I, I just develop systems where it doesn't feel... 'Cause when people are like, "Oh, you write a lot?" It doesn't feel like I write a lot because I just have systems and processes where, over time, I look at my notes, and I just have a bunch of stuff. It's not-

Joe Rogan 48:46 Right.

Fahim Anwar 48:46 I think people have such an aversion to writing, they think that you have to go to a log cabin.

Joe Rogan 48:50 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 48:50 Do you know what I mean? And there's a typewriter. And then you, like, do a pipe, and you're like-

Joe Rogan 48:55 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 48:55 ... "What's funny?"

Joe Rogan 48:56 Exactly.

Fahim Anwar 48:57 Whereas, I've gotten my process to a point where I just live life, and if something happens, I jot it in my phone. And-

Joe Rogan 49:03 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 49:03 You jot enough things in your phone, that list is pretty long.

Joe Rogan 49:06 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 49:07 And then I developed that Fahim Works on Stuff (And His Friends Drop By) show. I developed it in a, in... during COVID on accident. Like, the Jam in the Van was the only venue doing shows. And I had already headlined there. They go, "You, you wanna do another one?" I'm like, "Uh, how about this for an idea?" I go, "I just have all these bits that I never get around to trying." I emcee the show. I have a piece of paper up there. I'm just kinda, like, reading. I'm just, like, spaghetti against the wall.

Joe Rogan 49:32 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 49:32 And this goes back to people, comedy fans being savvy now, where they know the process.

Joe Rogan 49:37 Right.

Fahim Anwar 49:37 And I, I have enough fans at this point now where, like, they wanna see how the sausage gets made, you know?

Joe Rogan 49:42 Yes, yes.

Fahim Anwar 49:42 So I do, like, 10 minutes in between acts just trying stuff out, and then I bring up people doing great sets. You know what I mean? So the bulk of...... the integrity of the show isn't based on me trying new stuff, because I have great comics interspersed.

Joe Rogan 49:56 Right.

Fahim Anwar 49:56 So it's a very low stakes way for me to try a bunch of new material. So after the great act goes, I do 10 more minutes of bullshit or whatever, bring up the next comic. So it's a safe space-

Joe Rogan 50:06 Nice.

Fahim Anwar 50:06 ... for me to be able to try-

Joe Rogan 50:07 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 50:07 ... new stuff.

Joe Rogan 50:08 And they know what you're doing too.

Fahim Anwar 50:09 Yeah. The show is called Fahim Works On Stuff-

Joe Rogan 50:12 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 50:12 ... And His Friends Drop By. So I think-

Joe Rogan 50:14 It's a good name of a show.

Fahim Anwar 50:15 Yeah. And it mitigates expectations.

Joe Rogan 50:17 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 50:17 I think a lot of times comics, when they're like, "Oh man, I'm so afraid I can't write stuff," it's like, make the show where you can.

Joe Rogan 50:24 Hm.

Fahim Anwar 50:25 'Cause I'm... Bobby sometime... First of all, it was very cool to see Bobby on the pod. I'm surprised it took-

Joe Rogan 50:30 I know, it took forever.

Fahim Anwar 50:30 It took forever. I told Bobby, I'm like, "I'm so glad that you finally did it." Like, "I wanted to see that."

Joe Rogan 50:34 He wouldn't do it forever. Forever... (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 50:35 Bobby's weird like that sometimes. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 50:38 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 50:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:38 He's like, "Not yet, not yet." (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 50:40 But when-

Joe Rogan 50:40 I don't even... We talked about doing it like 100 times whenever I'd see him at the store.

Fahim Anwar 50:45 I know.

Joe Rogan 50:46 And he's just not gonna get it together with his head.

Fahim Anwar 50:48 And I'm going, "I can't." Well, what, what made him wanna do it this time?

Joe Rogan 50:49 He's always been-

Fahim Anwar 50:50 What put him over the top?

Joe Rogan 50:50 I don't... I don't know.

Fahim Anwar 50:51 I should've asked him.

Joe Rogan 50:52 He just... You know, was gonna be in town.

Fahim Anwar 50:53 When the time's right. Um...

Joe Rogan 50:55 We hooked it up. It was fun. It was fun hanging out with him.

Fahim Anwar 50:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:58 He's awesome.

Fahim Anwar 50:59 I love Bobby. He was-

Joe Rogan 51:00 I love Deejah.

Fahim Anwar 51:00 He was the first comic to take me on the road, like a headliner to actually take me on the road with him.

Joe Rogan 51:04 He's a genuinely sweet guy, a genuinely sweet guy. Always has been.

Fahim Anwar 51:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:09 He's awesome.

Fahim Anwar 51:09 He's always good with other comics too.

Joe Rogan 51:10 He's fucking hilarious.

Fahim Anwar 51:11 So funny.

Joe Rogan 51:11 He's hilarious to hang out with too. He's just a, he's just a funny-

Fahim Anwar 51:14 He's a feral cat, dude.

Joe Rogan 51:15 He's so funny.

Fahim Anwar 51:15 I had him on my pod one time, and like-

Joe Rogan 51:18 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 51:18 ... I, I had an idea of where I wanted the pod to go.

Joe Rogan 51:21 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 51:21 And I'm just kind of like mentally trying to corral Bobby, and there's no way-

Joe Rogan 51:25 Oh, you can't corral Bobby.

Fahim Anwar 51:26 ... you can.

Joe Rogan 51:26 That's silly. You need a... You need like a red, red cape.

Fahim Anwar 51:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:30 Toro.

Fahim Anwar 51:30 I need a possum guy just to grab Bobby off the wall.

Joe Rogan 51:33 I, uh, spent... This is how, how stupid I am. I spent, um, 20 minutes today watching dudes do flips over bulls.

Fahim Anwar 51:41 Yeah?

Joe Rogan 51:41 (laughs) 'Cause these dudes... This is a new sport, where the bulls run at them and they flip over the bulls. They do like front flips, so they're acrobats.

Fahim Anwar 51:50 The red cloth isn't enough?

Joe Rogan 51:52 Not enough. You're now counting-

Fahim Anwar 51:53 This is the next evolution?

Joe Rogan 51:55 You're counting on your knees and your ankles. These guys... Oh, this is... That guy got hit. Look at this.

Fahim Anwar 52:00 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 52:00 Look at this motherfucker, the leaping of the bulls. Look at this shit.

Fahim Anwar 52:03 Dude, they are-

Joe Rogan 52:03 I watched this for 20 minutes today.

Fahim Anwar 52:05 I can't do that without the bull.

Joe Rogan 52:06 Bro, this is s-... You have to be so g- so athletic. You're avoiding horns. That, that goes up your asshole. You're a dead person.

Fahim Anwar 52:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:15 And it happens-

Fahim Anwar 52:16 Do y-

Joe Rogan 52:16 ... all the time, man.

Fahim Anwar 52:16 Do you think one of these guys is undefeated?

Joe Rogan 52:18 Nope. I guarantee you Father Time catches them just like it catches great fighters. I bet there's a few of those guys that hang in there a little too long.

Fahim Anwar 52:28 The bullfighter?

Joe Rogan 52:29 Yeah, front flip gets-

Fahim Anwar 52:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:30 ... a little sloppy. Maybe your... You got that one bad ankle, but I'll compensate with my right ankle. Uh-uh. Not this time.

Fahim Anwar 52:36 It's not even a flip, it's a somersault.

Joe Rogan 52:37 This time. This time you're going headbuttin' a fucking bull. It's just so... I mean, but it's such a weird th-... Listen, I prefer it to the other thing, the other bullfighting thing they do, where they stick-

Fahim Anwar 52:50 What, where they kill ya?

Joe Rogan 52:50 ... them full of spears and they compromise it.

Fahim Anwar 52:54 Flipping's just good fun.

Joe Rogan 52:55 Well, it's just... The whole bullfighting thing, I get it back in the dizzay.

Fahim Anwar 53:00 You ever try to flip?

Joe Rogan 53:01 N- no, I've never tried to flip.

Fahim Anwar 53:03 I used to be able to flip.

Joe Rogan 53:04 Really?

Fahim Anwar 53:04 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:05 I believe you.

Fahim Anwar 53:06 Yeah. I learned, uh, for the high school musical. (laughs) That's like the least manly story. Like... You ever flip? Yeah, I had to learn.

Joe Rogan 53:13 How long did it take you to learn?

Fahim Anwar 53:15 Uh... You know, during the summertime, you just have so much free time, that I had my best friend across the street. I'm like, "Yo, come over. I'm gonna try do a back flip. Tell me what I'm doing wrong." So he just had eyes on me.

Joe Rogan 53:26 Hmm.

Fahim Anwar 53:26 And I would try to just do it on the side yard of my parents' house.

Joe Rogan 53:30 Jesus Christ.

Fahim Anwar 53:30 So I would run... The grass is pretty soft. You know, I'm not doing it on concrete.

Joe Rogan 53:34 Sort of. Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 53:34 Eh, it's soft enough. But you're 18, you have rubber bones.

Joe Rogan 53:37 Right.

Fahim Anwar 53:38 So I would just run, do a round off to back flip, and then... But I was doing it sideways.

Joe Rogan 53:43 Hmm.

Fahim Anwar 53:43 I think when you first start, you wanna see the ground the whole time-

Joe Rogan 53:46 Right.

Fahim Anwar 53:46 ... because you're too afraid to totally let go.

Joe Rogan 53:49 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 53:50 So he's like, "Stop going diagonal. Go more..." And then finally I got it. So I was doing... I wasn't doing a standing back flip. I was doing a round off to back flip, and then I learned how to go off a wall.

Joe Rogan 54:01 Whoa.

Fahim Anwar 54:02 And then... That's actually easier, because you just like push off the wall. It takes a lot of that rotation out. And then I learned how to have, uh, my buddy launch me. I actually posted on my Instagram, because when I was shadow banned, I was just posting dancing.

Joe Rogan 54:16 This is...

Fahim Anwar 54:17 You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 54:18 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 54:18 'Cause I was in, I was in jail.

Joe Rogan 54:20 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 54:20 (laughs) I was in jail, so I just like-

Joe Rogan 54:22 So how banned were you? Did... I still, still see your stuff?

Fahim Anwar 54:25 Well, here's the thing.

Joe Rogan 54:25 Or is it just new users?

Fahim Anwar 54:26 I'm unbanned. I'm, I'm-

Joe Rogan 54:27 But at the time, when you were shadow banned, would that mean I would have a hard time seeing your stuff? Is it people that follow you?

Fahim Anwar 54:32 New, new people wouldn't be able to see me.

Joe Rogan 54:33 Okay, but everybody you f- follows you could see you?

Fahim Anwar 54:37 But some... I would be able to reach some of... Yes.

Joe Rogan 54:38 Everybody?

Fahim Anwar 54:38 Maybe not the entire pie, but I w-... If my ceiling was gonna be people who already follow me, I wasn't gonna reach any new people. Um...

Joe Rogan 54:46 That's weird, isn't it?

Fahim Anwar 54:47 Yeah. So then I didn't wanna-

Joe Rogan 54:49 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 54:49 'Cause I had all these jokes and stuff, and I go, "I don't wanna burn these clips on a suppressed audience."

Joe Rogan 54:54 Right.

Fahim Anwar 54:55 You know? So I just went into my archives and just reposted dance shit.

Joe Rogan 54:59 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 55:00 But what's funny is like, sometimes when you post dance stuff, it brings people who like dance that you wouldn't think... Like, sometimes you'll like a dance thing and it throws me...

Joe Rogan 55:08 Oh, you have cool dances.

Fahim Anwar 55:09 It throw- it throws me for a loop 'cause I wouldn't think Joe Rogan likes a dancing video from me.

Joe Rogan 55:13 I like all kinds of things, man.

Fahim Anwar 55:15 Yeah. And then Juliette Lewis started liking some of this stuff. (laughs) This is like a fucking crazy world.

Joe Rogan 55:20 That's hilarious.

Fahim Anwar 55:20 And then she, she asked a question in one of the IGs and I'm like... She's like, "Oh yeah, did you use to do this for talent shows and stuff?" And I'm like, "Ah, I did it for the high school musical." So is there... Can you pull it up on...

Guest 55:33 I'm trying to find it. I haven't found it yet.

Fahim Anwar 55:34 It's, uh...

Guest 55:36 I found other dance videos.

Fahim Anwar 55:37 I... There's too... I, I have too many dance videos.

Joe Rogan 55:39 Let me... Let's explore this.

Fahim Anwar 55:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:41 Why is musicals not manly?

Fahim Anwar 55:44 Probably the singing and dancing.

Joe Rogan 55:46 Right. Why is singing-

Fahim Anwar 55:48 If I had to guess.

Joe Rogan 55:48 ... and dancing not manly? Particularly evolutionarily speaking. Because women have always been impressed by singing and dancing.

Fahim Anwar 55:56 Yeah. But you need to s-

Joe Rogan 55:56 Think about Saturday Night Fever.

Fahim Anwar 55:58 ... yes.

Joe Rogan 55:59 Right.

Fahim Anwar 56:00 But think about all the jealous guys, and they just called Travolta gay or whatever. What... 'cause, the, if the girls like, if the girls like something that kind of blends feminine-

Joe Rogan 56:10 Hmm.

Fahim Anwar 56:11 ... haters are gonna say, "He's gay."

Joe Rogan 56:13 Blends feminine?

Fahim Anwar 56:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:14 So why sing and dance-

Fahim Anwar 56:16 Singing and dancing?

Joe Rogan 56:16 Right, but why? I- i- again, if, if women like it, and if it's difficult to do, what makes those two things that are difficult to do that women like...

Fahim Anwar 56:29 'Cause it's not a masculine-

Joe Rogan 56:31 'Cause men like it, watching it too, though.

Fahim Anwar 56:32 If it was rock, like if it's leather, guys can get behind that.

Joe Rogan 56:36 Right. But if a guy could really dance, that shit's impressive.

Fahim Anwar 56:40 Yeah, but it has to be next level. It has to be like Michael Jackson-

Joe Rogan 56:43 But-

Fahim Anwar 56:43 ... or Prince.

Joe Rogan 56:44 Hmm. Interesting.

Narrator 56:45 Or like Lance?

Fahim Anwar 56:46 Or like Lance, yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:47 Like Lance Canstopolous? (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 56:49 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:49 When's Lance coming back?

Fahim Anwar 56:51 You know?

Joe Rogan 56:51 When's Lance coming back?

Fahim Anwar 56:52 Lance? Yeah, I don't know.

Joe Rogan 56:54 Faheem does a character on stage called Lance Canstopolous.

Narrator 56:57 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 56:57 And he was always a favorite at The Comedy Store. Is he doing Lance tonight? Is he doing Lance tonight? Tell me about ... I think he irritated you. (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 57:04 Well, nah, I mean, it's fun.

Joe Rogan 57:07 Like, "Stop asking for Lance-

Fahim Anwar 57:08 No, I... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:08 ... I'm right here. Faheem's right here, motherfucker."

Fahim Anwar 57:10 Like Lance is cannibalizing-

Narrator 57:12 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 57:12 Lance is cannibalizing Faheem?

Joe Rogan 57:13 It's like that movie, what was it? The Dark Half? What was that book? The Stephen King book, where the, the writer, like, uh, there's, he's got like an evil writer in his brain that writes all the hits.

Fahim Anwar 57:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:23 And he comes to life.

Fahim Anwar 57:24 Well, there... I mean, Lance is a part of me.

Joe Rogan 57:26 Hm.

Fahim Anwar 57:27 The, the thing is, I almost feel like Lance is who I would be if I didn't have parents.

Joe Rogan 57:31 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 57:33 I swear to God.

Joe Rogan 57:34 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 57:34 Because my parents raised me a certain way.

Joe Rogan 57:37 Right. Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 57:37 And even when I have thoughts and stuff, there are so many gates before-

Joe Rogan 57:41 Hmm.

Fahim Anwar 57:41 ... I kind of say, you know-

Joe Rogan 57:44 Right.

Fahim Anwar 57:44 ... what, what I say.

Joe Rogan 57:45 Right.

Fahim Anwar 57:45 I'm careful sometimes.

Joe Rogan 57:46 Right.

Fahim Anwar 57:46 And then Lance is just pure id.

Joe Rogan 57:49 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 57:50 And it's dancing, and it's this... It's, it's candy.

Joe Rogan 57:53 Right.

Fahim Anwar 57:54 And it's so fun.

Joe Rogan 57:55 Hmm.

Fahim Anwar 57:55 Also, as an artist too, just as a standup, 'cause when I, when I write jokes and shit, I'm like, there's... It's, uh, intricate, you know? Okay, what goes here? Blah, blah, blah.

Joe Rogan 58:03 Right.

Fahim Anwar 58:03 It's mentally taxing.

Joe Rogan 58:04 Right.

Fahim Anwar 58:05 But L- Lance, there's no jokes. It just... You show up, they play dance music. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:10 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 58:10 And I'm go- I'm going onto The Comedy Store, where they've seen so much high-level-

Joe Rogan 58:15 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 58:15 ... cerebral, great jokes and stuff. And then they're like, "Lance Canstopolous." Oh, yeah, hear Bert bringing Lance up. Is there... (instrumental music plays)

Narrator 58:29 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 58:30 (laughs)

Narrator 58:31 Bert Kreischer, everybody. One more time for Bert.

Fahim Anwar 58:34 (laughs) Like, pure nonsense.

Joe Rogan 58:38 No, amazing.

Fahim Anwar 58:38 It's- I know, I know.

Joe Rogan 58:39 Amazing.

Fahim Anwar 58:40 But it really sets-

Joe Rogan 58:41 Do you have the wig with you?

Fahim Anwar 58:42 I d- I, I packed Lance.

Joe Rogan 58:43 Lance is going on stage tonight.

Fahim Anwar 58:44 Oh, shit.

Narrator 58:45 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 58:45 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:45 Lance is going on stage tonight.

Fahim Anwar 58:46 I just love the phrase, "I packed Lance."

Joe Rogan 58:49 Lance is going on stage tonight. It's like, I get mad if Duncan doesn't bring Little Hobo.

Fahim Anwar 58:53 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:53 I go, "Where's Little Hobo?"

Fahim Anwar 58:54 So, one time, when Adam was still at the store, he was, you know, the, the manager there, I went up earlier in the night in the OR as me. And then my set's done, and Whitney's running late. And then Adam tracks me in the hallway, he like grabs me by the shoulders, and he goes, "Whitney's running late. Get Lance." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:13 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 59:17 (laughs)

Narrator 59:18 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 59:18 So I'm like Superman. So I go-

Joe Rogan 59:20 No.

Fahim Anwar 59:20 I go to the trunk of my car-

Joe Rogan 59:22 No.

Fahim Anwar 59:22 ... and then, and then I, you know, I turn into Lance. So this is like three or four comics later, and they, they bring... They go, "Who's next?" They go, "Lance." And the comic's like, "What the fuck?" (laughs) They go, "All right, Lance Canstopolous." Then I go, I go back up, for the same audience, but I'm as Lance this time, and I dance and shit. And then I sit on the stool, and I'm like, "You guys look strangely familiar." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:45 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 59:45 So then, then I'm like, I do a 10-minute Lance set-

Joe Rogan 59:49 Oh.

Fahim Anwar 59:49 ... and then I see Whitney in the back, and then-

Joe Rogan 59:51 Oh, that's hilarious.

Fahim Anwar 59:51 And then I'm like, "Ladies and gentlemen, Whit- Whitney Cummings."

Joe Rogan 59:54 Ah.

Fahim Anwar 59:54 And just... So I, so I got them out of a pinch.

Joe Rogan 59:56 That's amazing.

Fahim Anwar 59:57 But I've never done... I guess one other time I did do Lance on the same show, like as Faheem.

Joe Rogan 1:00:02 Bro, Lance will become Dice.

Fahim Anwar 1:00:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:05 Do you know-

Fahim Anwar 1:00:05 I can see that, 'cause it's so much fun to do, and-

Joe Rogan 1:00:07 Do you know the Dice story?

Fahim Anwar 1:00:09 So... No. What was that?

Joe Rogan 1:00:10 Dice's name is Andrew Silverstein.

Fahim Anwar 1:00:12 Right. I know he was like a great impressionist and great actor. He still is.

Joe Rogan 1:00:14 He used to go on stage, he used to do all these characters. He used to do John Travolta. He does an amazing John Travolta.

Fahim Anwar 1:00:20 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:00:20 Right? And then he would do this character called the Dice man. And then the Dice man became him.

Narrator 1:00:26 That's him doing Travolta.

Joe Rogan 1:00:28 Listen. (audience cheering)

Fahim Anwar 1:00:31 (farts)

Guest 1:00:32 Keep making fun of my car. And let me tell you something.

Fahim Anwar 1:00:36 (laughs)

Guest 1:00:36 This car is automatic. It's systematic. It's hydromatic.

Fahim Anwar 1:00:44 (laughs)

Guest 1:00:44 Fudge grease lightning.

Narrator 1:00:46 Fudge grease lightning.

Guest 1:00:48 Wowaficamora.

Joe Rogan 1:00:48 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 1:00:49 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:00:49 Just seeing Elvis in front of like Madison Square Garden. I mean, how do you not love him?

Fahim Anwar 1:00:54 And it's so good.

Joe Rogan 1:00:55 It's amazing. He's amazing. Dice is amazing. But anyway, um, that became him.

Fahim Anwar 1:01:00 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:01:01 He became that character. That's him.

Fahim Anwar 1:01:05 This is it, man.

Joe Rogan 1:01:05 You're Lance.

Fahim Anwar 1:01:06 This is my evolution.

Joe Rogan 1:01:07 You are Lance.

Fahim Anwar 1:01:07 I was a, I was a caterpillar, and now-

Joe Rogan 1:01:09 You are Lance.

Fahim Anwar 1:01:09 ... I am.

Joe Rogan 1:01:10 This is, this is my, my suggestion, for your next special. After this one that you just did.

Fahim Anwar 1:01:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:17 Half hour of you. Short break.

Fahim Anwar 1:01:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:22 Half hour of Lance.

Fahim Anwar 1:01:24 So it's like speaker box and level below, like the Outkast album, like half this, half that.

Joe Rogan 1:01:29 Just-

Fahim Anwar 1:01:29 That's pretty great.

Joe Rogan 1:01:30 You, you leave the stage. The s- the stage goes black for like three minutes.

Fahim Anwar 1:01:35 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:37 You fucking swap out clothes, put the wig on. Hit yourself with a little Dior.

Fahim Anwar 1:01:42 Oh. Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:43 (laughs) What do they wear?

Fahim Anwar 1:01:44 For the front row?

Joe Rogan 1:01:44 What are people that like to wear cologne?

Narrator 1:01:46 What does Lance wear?

Joe Rogan 1:01:47 What, what does, what does dudes who like to party and go to clubs-

Fahim Anwar 1:01:49 Oh, Aqua- Aquave- AquaVeleva, for sure. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:50 A guy who goes to clubs.

Fahim Anwar 1:01:52 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:52 A guy who's like, "What's up, girls?" Like what is... What's that guy wearing?

Fahim Anwar 1:01:54 (laughs) ... uh, you know, what's, what's the-

Joe Rogan 1:01:56 Gold chains. What's that guy wearing?

Fahim Anwar 1:01:58 Jean jacket, obviously. Wife beater underneath.

Joe Rogan 1:02:01 Right. What is the smell though?

Guest 1:02:02 Probably-

Fahim Anwar 1:02:03 ... dro-

Guest 1:02:03 I typed in "cheesy guy cologne" and the, this bottle just popped up all over.

Fahim Anwar 1:02:05 Oh. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:02:05 Some people are really into cologne, man.

Fahim Anwar 1:02:08 Did you ever get, uh, cologne?

Joe Rogan 1:02:10 Jean Paul Gaultier. When I was a kid I had Drakkar Noir.

Fahim Anwar 1:02:13 Oh, that was a big one?

Joe Rogan 1:02:13 Drakkar was the big-

Fahim Anwar 1:02:14 I heard of that.

Joe Rogan 1:02:14 All the guys, "Hey, you gotta get Drakkar. Girls love it."

Fahim Anwar 1:02:18 Do they?

Joe Rogan 1:02:19 "Smells good." I have no idea.

Fahim Anwar 1:02:20 Do you think some girl's like, "Ugh, Drakkar."

Joe Rogan 1:02:22 No guy knows what the fuck he's doing.

Guest 1:02:24 Cool Water was big in the '90s.

Joe Rogan 1:02:25 Cool Water? (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 1:02:26 Oh, yeah.

Guest 1:02:27 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 1:02:27 Ooh. Oh, Tommy was big for me growing up.

Guest 1:02:29 That's smoking weed.

Fahim Anwar 1:02:29 And then Polo Sport was-

Joe Rogan 1:02:31 Mm.

Fahim Anwar 1:02:31 ... was a hot, uh, fragrance.

Joe Rogan 1:02:33 I used to do the Old Spice ant aftershave.

Fahim Anwar 1:02:35 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:02:36 Where you fucking splash it in your hands and you sting your face. Hoo, remember that?

Fahim Anwar 1:02:40 It's functional though too, 'cause if I don't do that and I shave with a razor, you'll get ingrowns, so-

Joe Rogan 1:02:45 Listen to you, "It's functional." You should go back to being an engineer. (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 1:02:48 It's functional, dude. (laughs)

Guest 1:02:48 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:02:48 Just do lint.

Fahim Anwar 1:02:49 Yo, it burn but it feel good. You just fucking splash that on your face. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:02:52 Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Fahim Anwar 1:02:53 You're like Kevin McCallister.

Joe Rogan 1:02:55 Dude, I think Lance...

Fahim Anwar 1:02:56 It's fun. Like, I'm bringing it back. I've been doing it more at the store.

Joe Rogan 1:02:59 Would you do that though? That, that, my idea for a special?

Fahim Anwar 1:03:01 I, I, I would.

Joe Rogan 1:03:02 I'll produce it.

Fahim Anwar 1:03:03 Oh, yeah?

Joe Rogan 1:03:03 How about that?

Fahim Anwar 1:03:04 Also, 'cause this is my third traditional special. Like, I've done it. You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 1:03:09 Right.

Fahim Anwar 1:03:09 So it's kind of, you get bored, and there's enough digital IP out there of me doing straight standup.

Joe Rogan 1:03:17 Well, you can bo- do both though. That's the beauty of what you've got going on, is that you could just do an entire Lance tour if you wanted to, or an entire Fahim tour if you want.

Fahim Anwar 1:03:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:25 You do whatever you want.

Fahim Anwar 1:03:26 I also had this idea too because L- like, Lance just loves everything. He thinks he can do everything. He, he can be an actor. He wants to be in action movies.

Joe Rogan 1:03:34 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 1:03:35 He wants to, he wants to sing and do music. So, like, I might wanna do, like, where it's like a documentary of, like, Lance putting out an album and an EP. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:03:44 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 1:03:45 And so, so, so, so he like tours America-

Joe Rogan 1:03:48 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 1:03:48 ... doing like shitty venues. But he has like three songs on an album. And then the in between of doing songs he's just, like, doing crowd work, like-

Joe Rogan 1:03:55 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 1:03:55 ... "Thank you for supporting live music and everything."

Joe Rogan 1:03:57 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 1:03:57 And like, "How I came up with this song, I was, uh, taking a shit at Chipotle, and like just the chords came to me. Hit it." You know? So it's like half music-

Joe Rogan 1:04:06 Right.

Fahim Anwar 1:04:06 ... half comedy.

Joe Rogan 1:04:07 Right.

Fahim Anwar 1:04:07 That could be a fun different type of special to do.

Joe Rogan 1:04:10 Yeah, I just love, I love when someone busts out a character, you know?

Fahim Anwar 1:04:14 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:15 There's a few things you don't see that much in standup anymore. You don't see, like, a character.

Fahim Anwar 1:04:19 'Cause it's scary, um, you'll get shit on a lot. When, when you're a young comic-

Joe Rogan 1:04:24 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 1:04:24 ... if you do something kind of nontraditional-

Joe Rogan 1:04:27 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 1:04:27 ... you can get shit on. So, like, luckily Lance happened after I was really established at The Comedy Store. Like, I already had-

Joe Rogan 1:04:33 No, no, no. Lance is good. It doesn't matter.

Fahim Anwar 1:04:35 I know, I know.

Joe Rogan 1:04:35 But even if you weren't established, if you came in and just did Lance-

Fahim Anwar 1:04:38 Sure, sure.

Joe Rogan 1:04:39 ... people would think, "Oh my God, he's hilarious."

Fahim Anwar 1:04:39 But Lance was able to thrive because I already had the-

Joe Rogan 1:04:42 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 1:04:42 For real.

Joe Rogan 1:04:43 Lance is another person, dude.

Fahim Anwar 1:04:44 He is, he is.

Joe Rogan 1:04:45 What is that Stephen King book?

Fahim Anwar 1:04:46 He is.

Guest 1:04:47 Is it The Dark Half? Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 1:04:48 Lance was able to thrive because I was already beloved at the store.

Joe Rogan 1:04:51 Right.

Fahim Anwar 1:04:51 Like, I, I had earned their respect and stuff.

Joe Rogan 1:04:54 Right, right.

Fahim Anwar 1:04:54 And so, 'cause if you start killing with a character and no one knows who you are-

Joe Rogan 1:04:58 Right.

Fahim Anwar 1:04:58 ... you're gonna get shit on by the, like, elders and stuff. Like, so it might take a-

Joe Rogan 1:05:02 Oh, not at the store.

Fahim Anwar 1:05:04 Uh, if it's, it's a harder sell than if you have no history as a traditional comic, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:08 Right.

Fahim Anwar 1:05:08 Like, 'cause it seems like hackey or a trick. So the fact that I can do straight-

Joe Rogan 1:05:12 But it's not if it's good. The Dark Half, yeah.

Guest 1:05:14 Is that right?

Fahim Anwar 1:05:14 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:05:14 "Thad Beaumont, a parasitic twin removed from inside his skull when he was 12." What? (laughs) "Since then he's become a critically acclaimed literary writer and a blockbuster crime writer under the pseudonym George Stark, who goes on a murderous rampage when Thad kills him off."

Guest 1:05:30 Is that the book you were thinking of?

Joe Rogan 1:05:30 Yeah, that's, yeah, that's the book.

Guest 1:05:33 All right.

Joe Rogan 1:05:34 It's a crazy, crazy book.

Fahim Anwar 1:05:36 I mean, it's fun doing different characters and music stuff.

Joe Rogan 1:05:38 That's you, bro. Lance is inside of you.

Fahim Anwar 1:05:39 I did a prom- Can you pull it up 'cause I uploaded it.

Guest 1:05:41 Yeah, it's

Narrator 1:05:41 ... need to feed Lance.

Fahim Anwar 1:05:42 I will feed Lance, for sure.

Joe Rogan 1:05:43 Oh, Lance is gonna go on a murderous rampage.

Fahim Anwar 1:05:44 This is, this is gonna be sort of the way that Tonight Show thing was spoken into existence.

Joe Rogan 1:05:49 Yeah, this