Joe Rogan Experience #2110 - Fahim Anwar

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast.…

   1. NANarrator0:00

      (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience.

   2. JRJoe Rogan0:06

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (instrumental music) My man.

   3. FAFahim Anwar0:13

      How are you?

   4. JRJoe Rogan0:13

      Good to see you, brother. What's cracking?

   5. FAFahim Anwar0:14

      Good to be back. Thank you for having me.

   6. JRJoe Rogan0:16

      I miss you.

   7. FAFahim Anwar0:16

      I miss you too.

   8. JRJoe Rogan0:17

      I used to get to see you every week.

   9. FAFahim Anwar0:18

      I thought about that the other day, like, yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan0:20

       Yeah, it's like that's-

   11. FAFahim Anwar0:21

       You forget that, that, that's like a period of time, and it's not gonna be forever sometimes, you know?

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:25

       Yeah. Well, y- it almost was. You were the f- one of the first people to take the trip out here.

   13. FAFahim Anwar0:29

       I was. It was clear as day when I first came out. I'm like, "Why wouldn't you be out here?"

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:34

       Yeah.

   15. FAFahim Anwar0:34

       'Cause I remember I had this writing job, right? And so I was just like on Zoom every day, and life kinda sucked 'cause you couldn't go out. So I was just trapped in my house.

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:42

       Right.

   17. FAFahim Anwar0:43

       And then in between a lunch break, I'm on Instagram, and I see Tony, you know, Tony Hinchcliffe's post. He's ... This is like in the infancy of him, him coming out here, you know?

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:51

       Mm-hmm.

   19. FAFahim Anwar0:51

       He's like, "Sold out Anton's." You know what I mean? (laughs)

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:54

       Yeah.

   21. FAFahim Anwar0:54

       It seemed like this Bizarro universe-

   22. JRJoe Rogan0:56

       Right.

   23. FAFahim Anwar0:56

       ... where like life is still happening. And I love standup so much.

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:00

       Mm-hmm.

   25. FAFahim Anwar1:00

       And I was just kind of miserable. And I'm like, "If this is happening out there, I can do standup?" So then I started asking questions. I hit up the EPs. I'm like, "Yo, 'cause we're on Zoom, could I, could I just write from Austin? Just Zoom by day, and then do standup out here with like all you guys at night?" And they were like, "We don't see why not." So it was awesome. I got an apartment out here. I would Zoom by day. I would just be doing awesome shows at Vulcan and stuff at night.

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:26

       Damn.

   27. FAFahim Anwar1:26

       It was a ... It felt like a life hack.

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:27

       It was a life hack.

   29. FAFahim Anwar1:29

       Yeah. It was, it was great.

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:29

       Yeah.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Uh, aquatic turtles will…

   1. FAFahim Anwar15:00

      shark fin soup? And you're like, "How good must it be?"

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:02

      Uh, aquatic turtles will c- commonly live 20 to 30 years in captivity, but many can live much longer. Tortoises are m- lone, uh, some estimated to live 100 to 150 years. So it's not t- tortoises. Is it sea turtles that live forever? Who are the old ones? So some of them can live up to 250 years. What about, uh-

   3. FAFahim Anwar15:24

      Jeez.

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:24

      ... sea turtles? Maybe it's sea turtles.

   5. FAFahim Anwar15:26

      Do you think there's like-

   6. JRJoe Rogan15:27

      I think they're really old.

   7. FAFahim Anwar15:28

      ... a family that has a turtle that's been in the family for generations? Like it's 249 years old.

   8. JRJoe Rogan15:34

      Wow. That's impressive.

   9. FAFahim Anwar15:34

      Like, "This is my great-great-grandfather's turtle."

   10. JRJoe Rogan15:36

       That's a solid question.

   11. FAFahim Anwar15:37

       That'd be awesome.

   12. JRJoe Rogan15:39

       I think there's sharks that are alive today that are the oldest living creatures.

   13. GUGuest15:44

       Hmm.

   14. JRJoe Rogan15:45

       I think there's sharks-

   15. GUGuest15:46

       Th- they're estimated up to... Oh, oh, sorry.

   16. JRJoe Rogan15:49

       Go ahead.

   17. GUGuest15:49

       10 thou... What? One...

   18. JRJoe Rogan15:51

       1,000 years, right?

   19. GUGuest15:52

       Some 1 and 1,000.

   20. JRJoe Rogan15:53

       Okay.

   21. GUGuest15:54

       Oh, it says surviving. I r- I was reading it wrong. Sorry. It's too many words.

   22. JRJoe Rogan15:57

       Lifespan fi- 100 years, but there's one turtle, there's some fucking turtle that l- they think is really old.

   23. GUGuest16:04

       Well, it says estimate up to 500 years old.

   24. JRJoe Rogan16:06

       Oh, okay.

   25. GUGuest16:07

       Here's one right here. I don't know.

   26. FAFahim Anwar16:08

       I mean, they just look old.

   27. JRJoe Rogan16:10

       That's it.

   28. FAFahim Anwar16:10

       No t- you don't, you never see a turtle in your life that's this big still.

   29. JRJoe Rogan16:12

       Large turtles. That's what I'm talking about. 500 years old. That's fucking bonkers, man. (laughs) That's like pre-George Washington.

   30. FAFahim Anwar16:21

       (laughs)
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   So, is it any…

   1. FAFahim Anwar30:00

      and then my account got hit like that.

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:02

      So, is it any joke about Hamas or just mentioning Hamas?

   3. FAFahim Anwar30:06

      I don't think the joke was even taken into consideration. I think they just saw Hamas on a thumbnail or Hamas on a caption-

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:14

      Hmm.

   5. FAFahim Anwar30:14

      ... not knowing that it's a guy on stage-

   6. JRJoe Rogan30:15

      Hmm.

   7. FAFahim Anwar30:15

      ... doing a joke.

   8. JRJoe Rogan30:16

      Right.

   9. FAFahim Anwar30:17

      And there's layers to the-

   10. JRJoe Rogan30:18

       Did you appeal it?

   11. FAFahim Anwar30:18

       Yes. I tried to appeal it, and then it was just stuck in review forever. So-

   12. JRJoe Rogan30:23

       Hmm.

   13. FAFahim Anwar30:23

       ... nothing was gonna happen. Like, I was, I was pretty much fucked, so I know influencers in LA and stuff, and I was like ... And sometimes when they're pretty high up on IG, they have a contact or something more than a nebulous-

   14. JRJoe Rogan30:35

       Mm-hmm.

   15. FAFahim Anwar30:35

       'Cause you can't ... These companies are so ... There's no point person. It, I think it's like that for a reason. So, they tried to help me out. They had a guy, and we were going back and forth and nothing was getting done. And luckily, I'm at a large agency, like a talent agency, and they were going at it too, trying to help. And, like, just a week ago, it got lifted. Because-

   16. JRJoe Rogan30:56

       A week ago?

   17. FAFahim Anwar30:56

       Yes. And then, so the joke is up.... whereas before, it wasn't. So, it's like it didn't even happen.

   18. JRJoe Rogan31:01

       Oh.

   19. FAFahim Anwar31:01

       It's like I had someone vouch for me, and then they ... like, hands were off. It was fine.

   20. JRJoe Rogan31:04

       Hmm.

   21. FAFahim Anwar31:05

       But only because I had the might of this t- talent agency. If I was, like, a regular guy-

   22. JRJoe Rogan31:09

       Uh-huh.

   23. FAFahim Anwar31:09

       ... I would just be fucked.

   24. JRJoe Rogan31:10

       Well, that is the thing about a- an agency, it can get in contact with someone who ... you know, there's a value in that, for sure.

   25. FAFahim Anwar31:16

       Yeah, so much.

   26. JRJoe Rogan31:17

       Especially in this weird time. But you also have to realize, from their perspective, they're managing at scale literally billions of people.

   27. FAFahim Anwar31:24

       Yes, so I-

   28. JRJoe Rogan31:24

       I mean, Facebook and Instagram are all the same company, right? It's all Meta. So, like, how many, how many Meta customers are there? Let's just guess.

   29. FAFahim Anwar31:33

       So many. Well, isn't it, like, a small nation when you add up-

   30. JRJoe Rogan31:36

       L-
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   (laughs) …

   1. FAFahim Anwar45:00

      I remember I was doing... I forget which one. I've been on a few times. But, like, you were like, "Have your parents seen you before?" And I'm like, uh, "Nah." I go... Th- They, they saw me do the Apollo when I was 18, and then I, I got booed at the Apollo.

   2. JRJoe Rogan45:14

      (laughs)

   3. FAFahim Anwar45:14

      And that was the first... Uh, I was, like, a few months into doing standup. And they're from Afghanistan, and this is not a thing you do, and-

   4. JRJoe Rogan45:21

      Right.

   5. FAFahim Anwar45:22

      ... they wanted me to quit, and it was just very disgraceful of me doing this. And they seen me get booed by 4,000 people. I'm telling this story on the, I think (clears throat) the, um, one or two of, yeah. So, I, I get booed off stage and all that. And then you're like, "They gotta come see you again, man. You're great." And I go, I just have this mental block-

   6. JRJoe Rogan45:43

      Right.

   7. FAFahim Anwar45:43

      ... because that was so bad-

   8. JRJoe Rogan45:45

      Right.

   9. FAFahim Anwar45:45

      ... that, um, I just... It's like an emotional thing you just put in a closet, and you just ignore it.

   10. JRJoe Rogan45:51

       Mm-hmm. Yeah.

   11. FAFahim Anwar45:51

       'Cause I just wanted to keep on, uh, doing comedy on my own and keeping my f- my parents and stuff, like, separate. And then you're like, "They gotta come see you." And then, on the podcast, I was like, uh... I just always had this fantasy of, like, it... when they see me, it being so good to counteract how bad that experience was.

   12. JRJoe Rogan46:12

       Right, right.

   13. FAFahim Anwar46:12

       That it would be like a celebration that everything is okay, your son turned out okay.

   14. JRJoe Rogan46:17

       Right.

   15. FAFahim Anwar46:17

       All of the worries you had, uh, you don't have to worry anymore. So, I think after I spoke it into existence o- on your pod, I actually went about doing it. So I hit up the booker at The Tonight Show, and I'm like... I mean, I guess I could've always done it, I just never... I know the booker. I go, "Can I do The Tonight Show? Like, I'd love to do it." I told him the whole story of, like, my parents have never seen me since that thing. This is, like, an emotional thing I need to take care of. Like, this isn't even about comedy anymore.

   16. JRJoe Rogan46:43

       Wow. That's heavy.

   17. FAFahim Anwar46:43

       This is just, like, healing.

   18. JRJoe Rogan46:45

       (laughs)

   19. FAFahim Anwar46:45

       It's been this monkey on my back for 20 years, 21 years, you know.

   20. JRJoe Rogan46:50

       Oh.

   21. FAFahim Anwar46:50

       And then he's like, "Send me a tape." I sent him a tape. So I actually did the work. I finally just went about doing the work. I went to the improv. I put a tape together. I sent it to him. He's like, "This is great. Come and do it." So then I flew my parents out to New York. And it was just very therapeutic to be able to give this to my parents because they know what The Tonight Show is. It was a celebration. It was... Like, this is way bigger than... Like, I love The Tonight Show. Thank you for letting me do it and all that stuff. But in the grand scheme of, like, entertainment and needle moving, it, it's not what it used to be, you know?

   22. JRJoe Rogan47:24

       Right.

   23. FAFahim Anwar47:24

       You used to do Tonight Show when people were, like, honking and shouting your name from cars and shit.

   24. JRJoe Rogan47:27

       That's how I found out about Richard Jeni.

   25. FAFahim Anwar47:29

       Oh. A just Tonight Show appearance?

   26. JRJoe Rogan47:31

       Yeah, I saw him at The Tonight Show.

   27. FAFahim Anwar47:32

       Yeah. But this was just to give my parents a night out, and a memory, and a story for their parents.

   28. JRJoe Rogan47:37

       Yeah.

   29. FAFahim Anwar47:37

       So, I wore a suit.

   30. JRJoe Rogan47:39

       Oh.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:05:49

   Bro, Lance will become…

   1. FAFahim Anwar1:00:00

      Lance on the same show, like as Faheem.

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:00:02

      Bro, Lance will become Dice.

   3. FAFahim Anwar1:00:04

      Yeah.

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:00:05

      Do you know-

   5. FAFahim Anwar1:00:05

      I can see that, 'cause it's so much fun to do, and-

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:00:07

      Do you know the Dice story?

   7. FAFahim Anwar1:00:09

      So... No. What was that?

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:00:10

      Dice's name is Andrew Silverstein.

   9. FAFahim Anwar1:00:12

      Right. I know he was like a great impressionist and great actor. He still is.

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:00:14

       He used to go on stage, he used to do all these characters. He used to do John Travolta. He does an amazing John Travolta.

   11. FAFahim Anwar1:00:20

       Mm-hmm.

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:00:20

       Right? And then he would do this character called the Dice man. And then the Dice man became him.

   13. NANarrator1:00:26

       That's him doing Travolta.

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:00:28

       Listen. (audience cheering)

   15. FAFahim Anwar1:00:31

       (farts)

   16. GUGuest1:00:32

       Keep making fun of my car. And let me tell you something.

   17. FAFahim Anwar1:00:36

       (laughs)

   18. GUGuest1:00:36

       This car is automatic. It's systematic. It's hydromatic.

   19. FAFahim Anwar1:00:44

       (laughs)

   20. GUGuest1:00:44

       Fudge grease lightning.

   21. NANarrator1:00:46

       Fudge grease lightning.

   22. GUGuest1:00:48

       Wowaficamora.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:00:48

       (laughs)

   24. FAFahim Anwar1:00:49

       (laughs)

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:00:49

       Just seeing Elvis in front of like Madison Square Garden. I mean, how do you not love him?

   26. FAFahim Anwar1:00:54

       And it's so good.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:00:55

       It's amazing. He's amazing. Dice is amazing. But anyway, um, that became him.

   28. FAFahim Anwar1:01:00

       Oh.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:01:01

       He became that character. That's him.

   30. FAFahim Anwar1:01:05

       This is it, man.

Episode duration: 3:10:10