Joe Rogan Experience #2122 - Protect Our Parks 11

Shane is the co-host of "Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast" with Matt McCusker and one half of the sketch comedy duo "Gilly and Keeves" with John McKeever. Watch his latest stand-up special, "Beautiful Dogs," on Netflix. www.shanemgillis.com Mark is the co-host of the podcasts "Tuesdays with Stories" with Joe List and "We Might Be Drunk" with Sam Morril. Watch his latest stand-up special, "Soup to Nuts," on Netflix. www.marknormandcomedy.com Ari is the host of the "You Be Trippin'" podcast. His latest comedy special, "Ari Shaffir: Jew," is available now via YouTube. www.arishaffir.com

Shane GillisguestJoe RoganhostAri ShaffirguestMark NormandguestGuestguest

Mar 20, 20245h 7mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

150 min read · 30,013 words

0:00 – 15:00
(drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast,…
1. NANarrator
  (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
2. The Joe Rogan Experience. (drum music)
3. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music)
4. SGShane Gillis
  Hello.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  Yes, we're back.
6. SGShane Gillis
  Whoo!
7. JRJoe Rogan
  Fellas, let's go. So much shit to talk about.
8. SGShane Gillis
  So much.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  You see that wild shit that's going on in Scotland where they're, they're targeting comedians for hate crime laws?
10. SGShane Gillis
  No.
11. ASAri Shaffir
  Still?
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13. ASAri Shaffir
  From, uh, what's his name?
14. JRJoe Rogan
  Keep tr-
15. ASAri Shaffir
  Count Chocula? Count Dracula?
16. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, yeah, that was the si- same place with that guy, Dankula, right?
17. ASAri Shaffir
  Count Dankula?
18. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
19. SGShane Gillis
  Dankula?
20. JRJoe Rogan
  He got in trouble. You know the story?
21. SGShane Gillis
  Sounds like a weed head.
22. ASAri Shaffir
  Do you remember that one?
23. SGShane Gillis
  No.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  He got in trouble for making his dog do a Hitler.
25. ASAri Shaffir
  He turned his- (laughs)
26. SGShane Gillis
  Oh, that. (laughs)
27. ASAri Shaffir
  He trained his dog to go "Heil Hitler," just do it to fuck with his girlfriend. (laughs)
28. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah. German shepherd.
29. SGShane Gillis
  You got in trouble for that?
30. JRJoe Rogan
  No, it was a little pug.
15:00 – 30:00
Also they were just…
1. ASAri Shaffir
  No one ever got... But also like-
2. SGShane Gillis
  Also they were just like, "Jesus Christ."
3. JRJoe Rogan
  ... like, "Oh, shit."
4. ASAri Shaffir
  Also like if she was a witch, she would just leave. (laughs)
5. JRJoe Rogan
  If they floated there, it proven to be a witch. If they drowned, too bad, but at least they weren't a witch. (laughs)
6. SGShane Gillis
  (laughs)
7. ASAri Shaffir
  As of now, that leaves it open.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  According to Smith, this type of test was also a myth carried over from Eastern, uh, early European history.
9. SGShane Gillis
  Oh, wow.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  It's just like the burning at the stake.
11. SGShane Gillis
  Now they just-
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Interesting.
13. SGShane Gillis
  They're just cunts.
14. ASAri Shaffir
  (laughs)
15. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, that's not true though. I guarantee they burned-
16. ASAri Shaffir
  We gotta kill some. (laughs)
17. SGShane Gillis
  Yeah.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  ... some people alive. They definitely burned some people alive.
19. ASAri Shaffir
  They definitely... What if they didn't have a lake near them?
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Listen, man. They killed people in horrific ways and just lied about it when they wrote it down afterwards.
21. SGShane Gillis
  Oh, yeah.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  There's a lot of that.
23. ASAri Shaffir
  Museum of Torture in Amsterdam?
24. SGShane Gillis
  I went to that.
25. ASAri Shaffir
  Go to that. It rules.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  Ugh.
27. ASAri Shaffir
  It's just like this pyramid that you're supposed to let a guy put his ass on-
28. SGShane Gillis
  Yes.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, my God.
30. SGShane Gillis
  That's a good way to go.
30:00 – 45:00
They can do it…
1. JRJoe Rogan
  if they could do that, just glue your brains back together.
2. SGShane Gillis
  They can do it with teeth.
3. GUGuest
  Like a finger. Like a Justin Bieber.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs) Same thing.
5. SGShane Gillis
  (laughs)
6. GUGuest
  Can I get teeth?
7. SGShane Gillis
  Teeth are the brain of the mouth.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  That's such a- such a wild scene.
9. GUGuest
  Hey, if we're doing this, what happened to the Boeing guy?
10. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh. ... oh, the Boeing guy realized that he's a piece of shit. (laughs)
11. MNMark Normand
  Let's- tell me what's going on.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  We talked about this on stage the other night.
13. MNMark Normand
  Yeah, we did figure that out.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  Uh, yeah, we talked about it on stage the other night.
15. MNMark Normand
  What?
16. JRJoe Rogan
  The Boeing guy realized, the guy who committed suicide realized that he did a terrible thing by accusing a company of cutting corners. (laughs) And he felt embarrassed-
17. MNMark Normand
  That he shamed this great company-
18. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs) ... that has done so well for all of us. How many times have we flown on a Boeing plane?
19. MNMark Normand
  And killed himself? And he did the right thing.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Boeing planes are amazing.
21. MNMark Normand
  And killed himself.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  He knew it.
23. MNMark Normand
  Mm-hmm.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  And he was like, "What have I done?" So he killed himself. But the wheels are falling off, doors are coming off. Planes are fucked right now. That's allegedly-
25. MNMark Normand
  (laughs) Our bed heads are falling off. (laughs)
26. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs) ... Boeing whistleblower told friend not to believe suicide-
27. MNMark Normand
  That's a believed suicide.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  ... before he died. Oh, Christ. Okay. Oh, Jesus Christ.
29. MNMark Normand
  Hey, if somebody says, "I killed myself," that means they didn't kill themselves. Anytime you hear that though, you're like, "Are you about to kill yourself though?"
30. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs) Yeah.
45:00 – 57:26
Like, do not smoke…
1. JRJoe Rogan
  It's not red for, like, three months out of the year.
2. GUGuest
  Like, do not smoke a cigarette on Laurel Canyon.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  If you're an asshole-
4. GUGuest
  That's like, do not. Yeah.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  These fucking assholes that throw cigarettes out the window when they're done with them, these littering cocksuckers.
6. GUGuest
  Yeah, if you listen-
7. You're not even allowed to smoke in your car with the windows up on the way up Laurel Canyon.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  You're not?
9. GUGuest
  Yeah, when it's, like, dry.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  It's that bad?
11. GUGuest
  They're like, "Don't."
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Because the ... It just goes up in a blaze. So I was coming home one night. I, I got evacuated three times when I lived in California.
13. GUGuest
  Yeah.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  Three fucking times. But I was coming home one night and the whole side of the highway, I was coming from, home from Fear Factor. The whole side of the highway for an hour was on fire.
15. GUGuest
  You sent us pictures.
16. SGShane Gillis
  Yeah.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  For an hour.
18. GUGuest
  From your flip phone.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  Bro, it was mad.
20. GUGuest
  It was just, like, one side of the highway fire.
21. SGShane Gillis
  That's gotta be scary.
22. GUGuest
  One side green.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  It was madness.
24. GUGuest
  (laughs)
25. JRJoe Rogan
  It was like, it was like a scene from the fucking ... That's what it's like, that's what it's like.
26. SGShane Gillis
  Whoa.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  It was like a scene from fucking a Hobbit movie.
28. SGShane Gillis
  Whoa.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  With, like, orcs taking over the top.
30. GUGuest
  Do you think all those cars were like, "Hey, where are we even going? Why are we driving that way?" (laughs)

Episode duration: 5:07:03

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(drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast,…

Also they were just…

They can do it…

Like, do not smoke…

Get more out of YouTube videos.