Joe Rogan Experience #2122 - Protect Our Parks 11

1. 0:00 – 2:32

   Cold open chaos: Scotland comedy crackdown and hate-crime anxiety

   1. NANarrator0:00

      (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

   2. The Joe Rogan Experience. (drum music)

   3. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music)

   4. SGShane Gillis0:13

      Hello.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:14

      Yes, we're back.

   6. SGShane Gillis0:15

      Whoo!

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:15

      Fellas, let's go. So much shit to talk about.

   8. SGShane Gillis0:18

      So much.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:18

      You see that wild shit that's going on in Scotland where they're, they're targeting comedians for hate crime laws?

   10. SGShane Gillis0:23

       No.

   11. ASAri Shaffir0:23

       Still?

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:24

       Yeah, yeah, yeah.

   13. ASAri Shaffir0:24

       From, uh, what's his name?

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:25

       Keep tr-

   15. ASAri Shaffir0:26

       Count Chocula? Count Dracula?

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:27

       Well, yeah, that was the si- same place with that guy, Dankula, right?

   17. ASAri Shaffir0:30

       Count Dankula?

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:30

       Yeah.

   19. SGShane Gillis0:31

       Dankula?

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:31

       He got in trouble. You know the story?

   21. SGShane Gillis0:32

       Sounds like a weed head.

   22. ASAri Shaffir0:33

       Do you remember that one?

   23. SGShane Gillis0:33

       No.

   24. JRJoe Rogan0:34

       He got in trouble for making his dog do a Hitler.

   25. ASAri Shaffir0:36

       He turned his- (laughs)

   26. SGShane Gillis0:36

       Oh, that. (laughs)

   27. ASAri Shaffir0:37

       He trained his dog to go "Heil Hitler," just do it to fuck with his girlfriend. (laughs)

   28. JRJoe Rogan0:39

       Yeah. German shepherd.

   29. SGShane Gillis0:40

       You got in trouble for that?

   30. JRJoe Rogan0:41

       No, it was a little pug.
2. 2:32 – 5:08

   From Scotland to Belgium: private memes, arrests, and mass-deleting the group chat

   1. JRJoe Rogan2:32

      And so these fucking kooks have decided they're gonna t- target people and put them in jail. Did you hear what happened in Belgium? The dude got a year in jail for memes that were shared, memes that they shared in a private chat.

   2. ASAri Shaffir2:46

      No. What?

   3. JRJoe Rogan2:47

      Yes.

   4. SGShane Gillis2:48

      Oh, no. We-

   5. ASAri Shaffir2:48

      Dude, the mugshots from this are going to be hilarious.

   6. JRJoe Rogan2:51

      We saw the memes.

   7. SGShane Gillis2:52

      We go straight to the gulag.

   8. ASAri Shaffir2:52

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan2:52

      The memes are nothing.

   10. ASAri Shaffir2:53

       Wait, we saw the memes?

   11. JRJoe Rogan2:54

       Yeah, you can see the memes.

   12. SGShane Gillis2:55

       Oh.

   13. JRJoe Rogan2:56

       You can find- the memes are online, but-

   14. ASAri Shaffir2:57

       They're not that funny?

   15. JRJoe Rogan2:58

       No, one of them was, like, a Hitler one that was, like, anti-Hitler. It was, like, an anti-Nazi meme.

   16. SGShane Gillis3:05

       Hmm.

   17. JRJoe Rogan3:05

       Like, and this was one of the ones that was cited as being one of the offenses.

   18. ASAri Shaffir3:09

       Damn.

   19. JRJoe Rogan3:09

       It's fu- in a fucking private chat.

   20. SGShane Gillis3:12

       Yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan3:12

       Imagine if our protector hearts-

   22. ASAri Shaffir3:13

       A private chat. How'd they get in?

   23. SGShane Gillis3:14

       Oh my God.

   24. ASAri Shaffir3:15

       Had, before the show started, the conversation's cut out.

   25. JRJoe Rogan3:16

       Right now we should delete our data right now for-

   26. ASAri Shaffir3:19

       I think-

   27. JRJoe Rogan3:20

       ... the purpose of this podcast.

   28. SGShane Gillis3:21

       We probably should.

   29. ASAri Shaffir3:21

       ... we should, we should have a, we should have a mass delete.

   30. JRJoe Rogan3:23

       Three, two, one, go. (laughs) The podcast is worse.
3. 5:08 – 8:44

   The Pelosi hammer attack video: rumors, reality, and why it’s so disturbing

   1. JRJoe Rogan5:08

      ... is Paul Pelosi that he only had one hand on the dude because his other hand was on his drink?

   2. SGShane Gillis5:13

      Yeah. In his underwear.

   3. JRJoe Rogan5:14

      Like how much faith did he have-

   4. ASAri Shaffir5:17

      Smash that drink in that guy's face.

   5. JRJoe Rogan5:17

      ... that he could get away with things?

   6. SGShane Gillis5:19

      Well, they knew each other clearly.

   7. ASAri Shaffir5:20

      They knew each other.

   8. JRJoe Rogan5:20

      Do you think so?

   9. SGShane Gillis5:21

      Oh, yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan5:22

       I don't...

   11. ASAri Shaffir5:22

       I don't know.

   12. SGShane Gillis5:22

       They were flying around.

   13. JRJoe Rogan5:22

       I don't... The guy broke into the house with a hammer.

   14. NANarrator5:24

       Seems like Paulo was trying to keep it chill.

   15. JRJoe Rogan5:26

       Yeah. I don't think they knew each other.

   16. SGShane Gillis5:28

       Oh.

   17. JRJoe Rogan5:28

       No, I think that was the-

   18. ASAri Shaffir5:29

       Oh, yeah, that's the rumor.

   19. JRJoe Rogan5:30

       ... that was the rumor that he was a gay lover.

   20. SGShane Gillis5:32

       That's what I heard.

   21. JRJoe Rogan5:32

       Yeah, no, no, no.

   22. ASAri Shaffir5:33

       Yeah, it was fun. It was fun, it was funny to believe in.

   23. JRJoe Rogan5:33

       This, there's a video of the guy using the hammer he hit him in the fucking head with to break into the house, like just banging on the back door. So he gets in the house-

   24. ASAri Shaffir5:40

       It sounds like ex-girlfriend shit though.

   25. SGShane Gillis5:42

       Exactly.

   26. ASAri Shaffir5:43

       (laughs)

   27. JRJoe Rogan5:43

       Does it though? It's just like, I think it's a schizophrenic in your house with a hammer.

   28. ASAri Shaffir5:47

       Big Nancy Pelosi was like, "You said you wouldn't embarrass me."

   29. SGShane Gillis5:49

       Yeah, it's a gay quarrel.

   30. JRJoe Rogan5:51

       Oh.
4. 8:44 – 12:14

   Insider trading as ‘legal corruption’: Pelosi stocks and congressional returns

   1. JRJoe Rogan8:44

      Th- they definitely stole a lot of money.

   2. GUGuest8:45

      I follow her stock tips.

   3. JRJoe Rogan8:46

      That stock tip thing.

   4. MNMark Normand8:47

      (laughs)

   5. JRJoe Rogan8:47

      I say stole money, what I should be saying is engaged in insider trading, that's legal.

   6. MNMark Normand8:51

      Yeah.

   7. GUGuest8:51

      There you go.

   8. JRJoe Rogan8:52

      And it's just nuts that it's legal.

   9. MNMark Normand8:54

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan8:54

       It's nuts that they can pass laws and they know the laws are coming, and then they buy up stock and then they get ... paid. (laughs)

   11. MNMark Normand9:02

       I-

   12. GUGuest9:02

       Yeah, but who's... They can't be stopped. Who's gonna stop them?

   13. MNMark Normand9:05

       They can't be stopped. They would have to stop them.

   14. GUGuest9:05

       Other than a hero-

   15. JRJoe Rogan9:06

       (sighs)

   16. GUGuest9:06

       Not a hammer. (laughs)

   17. MNMark Normand9:07

       (laughs)

   18. JRJoe Rogan9:07

       (laughs)

   19. GUGuest9:08

       Other than one heroic schizophrenic.

   20. JRJoe Rogan9:12

       (laughs)

   21. GUGuest9:12

       (laughs)

   22. MNMark Normand9:12

       (laughs)

   23. JRJoe Rogan9:12

       (laughs)

   24. MNMark Normand9:12

       I mean, how do you stop them?

   25. GUGuest9:14

       Bro.

   26. MNMark Normand9:15

       They make the rules.

   27. JRJoe Rogan9:15

       That's gotta be a-

   28. MNMark Normand9:16

       They make the rules.

   29. JRJoe Rogan9:16

       ... weird feeling to know that everybody knows that you got all your money by being a corrupt politician and you're just wandering around.

   30. MNMark Normand9:24

       Yeah. Just like, "What are you gonna do about it?"
5. 12:14 – 14:29

   JFK, presidential libido, and assassination rabbit holes (Zapruder included)

   1. GUGuest12:14

      Isn't it funny that everybody considers him like our greatest of all time president?

   2. MNMark Normand12:17

      Hey, look at the young hands.

   3. JRJoe Rogan12:19

      Whoa. She's younger than Monica Lewinsky.

   4. GUGuest12:21

      She's 17.

   5. JRJoe Rogan12:21

      She's 17.

   6. GUGuest12:21

      Peblosi.

   7. JRJoe Rogan12:24

      Wow. (laughs)

   8. ASAri Shaffir12:24

      She's 17, Mark, you sex pervert. (laughs)

   9. SGShane Gillis12:26

      Oh, was that right?

   10. JRJoe Rogan12:27

       Do you think-

   11. SGShane Gillis12:28

       Well, that was legal then.

   12. JRJoe Rogan12:29

       Do you think JFK-

   13. ASAri Shaffir12:29

       She's still older than us.

   14. JRJoe Rogan12:30

       True. (laughs)

   15. ASAri Shaffir12:30

       Do you really think JFK was banging 17-year-olds?

   16. JRJoe Rogan12:33

       Yeah.

   17. SGShane Gillis12:33

       Yes.

   18. ASAri Shaffir12:34

       Yeah, probably.

   19. SGShane Gillis12:34

       100%.

   20. JRJoe Rogan12:35

       Wasn't frowned upon. Is that an insane... Imagine bringing that up in a history class. Imagine being in like a history class-

   21. SGShane Gillis12:42

       Kids, go.

   22. JRJoe Rogan12:42

       ... at JFK-

   23. SGShane Gillis12:42

       That's a cool teacher.

   24. JRJoe Rogan12:44

       ... and telling the teacher, "You know what I think?" (laughs)

   25. SGShane Gillis12:46

       Yeah. Yeah.

   26. ASAri Shaffir12:46

       Wasn't he probably, though, banging a lot of 17-year-olds? (laughs) Like, oh... Let's get back to the Bay of Pigs.

   27. JRJoe Rogan12:50

       Didn't he literally- (laughs)

   28. ASAri Shaffir12:52

       That's what I'm saying. Let's get... Let's talk about this.

   29. SGShane Gillis12:53

       That's a good name for his pool, the Bay of Pigs.

   30. JRJoe Rogan12:56

       Didn't he literally fuck everything that moved? (laughs) It's kinda crazy but to be like the leader of a country like that, it's almost like a prerequisite. You have to be a poonhound. That's how you... The only reason why you have the ambition to get to that spot in the first place.
6. 14:29 – 18:19

   Witch trials and historical brutality: drowning myths, burning, and torture museums

   1. ASAri Shaffir14:29

      The witch trials, the witch trials were the wildest shit of all time.

   2. SGShane Gillis14:31

      They're witches. I got nothing.

   3. ASAri Shaffir14:33

      They didn't even give you a lawyer back then. That's like pretty new.

   4. JRJoe Rogan14:35

      Yeah.

   5. ASAri Shaffir14:36

      Where they have to give you a lawyer. So they're just like, "I can read, you can't. Good luck with your trial."

   6. SGShane Gillis14:40

      (laughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan14:41

      I think mostly they drowned them too.

   8. ASAri Shaffir14:42

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan14:42

      It wasn't really a burning thing.

   10. SGShane Gillis14:44

       Yeah.

   11. JRJoe Rogan14:44

       The burning thing is kind of a misnomer, right?

   12. SGShane Gillis14:46

       Edinburgh.

   13. ASAri Shaffir14:46

       Is that, is that right, Mark?

   14. JRJoe Rogan14:47

       I don't know, man.

   15. ASAri Shaffir14:48

       The drowning thing they used to do, for sure-

   16. JRJoe Rogan14:50

       He's just pointing at me.

   17. ASAri Shaffir14:50

       ... was, uh-

   18. JRJoe Rogan14:50

       They definitely drowned them, right?

   19. ASAri Shaffir14:51

       They had this thing where they would put you in, like lock you to a chair and throw you in a pond.

   20. JRJoe Rogan14:55

       Whoa.

   21. SGShane Gillis14:55

       Oh.

   22. ASAri Shaffir14:55

       And then they'd be like, "If she's a witch, she's gonna get out."

   23. JRJoe Rogan14:58

       Right.

   24. ASAri Shaffir14:58

       Oh my God. And then no one ever got out. No one ever got... But also like-

   25. SGShane Gillis15:00

       Also they were just like, "Jesus Christ."

   26. JRJoe Rogan15:02

       ... like, "Oh, shit."

   27. ASAri Shaffir15:03

       Also like if she was a witch, she would just leave. (laughs)

   28. JRJoe Rogan15:05

       If they floated there, it proven to be a witch. If they drowned, too bad, but at least they weren't a witch. (laughs)

   29. SGShane Gillis15:10

       (laughs)

   30. ASAri Shaffir15:11

       As of now, that leaves it open.
7. 18:19 – 30:10

   Ergot, LSD myths, and MKUltra: from skin absorption to Manson and Jolly West

   1. JRJoe Rogan18:19

      I'm always... When they start dismissing psychedelic stuff, I'm always like, "How do you know for sure, for sure?"... because if ergot does exist, and ergot is a thing that-

   2. GUGuest18:29

      Yeah, I don't know why they-

   3. JRJoe Rogan18:29

      ... grows on wheat-

   4. GUGuest18:30

      ... ruled it out.

   5. JRJoe Rogan18:31

      ... and it's really com- if a bunch of people are just fucking freaking out about things, fascina- do the cultural fascination of LSD during this period. What does it say?

   6. GUGuest18:39

      It was in the 70s. So, so this theory came out in the 70s, it said, so people were-

   7. JRJoe Rogan18:42

      The theory came out. Like what-

   8. GUGuest18:43

      Definitely.

   9. JRJoe Rogan18:43

      So when people started using acid-

   10. GUGuest18:45

       Right.

   11. JRJoe Rogan18:45

       ... the theory came out. See, I was under the impression that there was actual evidence of ergot and like samples that they got.

   12. GUGuest18:51

       Oh.

   13. I'm looking for that too. That's why-

   14. JRJoe Rogan18:52

       Okay.

   15. GUGuest18:52

       ... I found this by typing in evidence of ergot and LSD

   16. I might be mixed up-

   17. ... just to make sure.

   18. ... because I know they found evidence in-

   19. No, I've heard that story.

   20. Y- yeah, I've heard it, but I'm not sure if it's true. Um, but I, I know they found evidence for sure in these ancient pottery vessels. So they know these, like, people that were involved in the, like, Eleusinian mysteries and, uh, all, all that shit that was going down in Greece 2,000 plus years ago, they were tripping balls.

   21. It just says it led to this theory being put in the school curriculums as an explanation for the trials, but it's-

   22. No way. School curriculum's taught that?

   23. ... uh, I don't know that they have actual evidence of it, other than this-

   24. JRJoe Rogan19:24

       Interesting.

   25. GUGuest19:24

       ... being passed on.

   26. Think I'm done with acid. We got mushrooms. I don't need acid anymore.

   27. I'm the opposite.

   28. JRJoe Rogan19:30

       Dude!

   29. GUGuest19:30

       You like acid more?

   30. I've taken way more acid lately.
8. 30:10 – 44:29

   Boeing whistleblower and ‘suicide’ skepticism: Assange, McAfee, and paranoia culture

   1. GUGuest30:10

      Hey, if we're doing this, what happened to the Boeing guy?

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:13

      Oh. ... oh, the Boeing guy realized that he's a piece of shit. (laughs)

   3. MNMark Normand30:15

      Let's- tell me what's going on.

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:16

      We talked about this on stage the other night.

   5. MNMark Normand30:17

      Yeah, we did figure that out.

   6. JRJoe Rogan30:18

      Uh, yeah, we talked about it on stage the other night.

   7. MNMark Normand30:19

      What?

   8. JRJoe Rogan30:19

      The Boeing guy realized, the guy who committed suicide realized that he did a terrible thing by accusing a company of cutting corners. (laughs) And he felt embarrassed-

   9. MNMark Normand30:27

      That he shamed this great company-

   10. JRJoe Rogan30:29

       (laughs) ... that has done so well for all of us. How many times have we flown on a Boeing plane?

   11. MNMark Normand30:33

       And killed himself? And he did the right thing.

   12. JRJoe Rogan30:34

       Boeing planes are amazing.

   13. MNMark Normand30:35

       And killed himself.

   14. JRJoe Rogan30:36

       He knew it.

   15. MNMark Normand30:36

       Mm-hmm.

   16. JRJoe Rogan30:36

       And he was like, "What have I done?" So he killed himself. But the wheels are falling off, doors are coming off. Planes are fucked right now. That's allegedly-

   17. MNMark Normand30:45

       (laughs) Our bed heads are falling off. (laughs)

   18. JRJoe Rogan30:45

       (laughs) ... Boeing whistleblower told friend not to believe suicide-

   19. MNMark Normand30:48

       That's a believed suicide.

   20. JRJoe Rogan30:48

       ... before he died. Oh, Christ. Okay. Oh, Jesus Christ.

   21. MNMark Normand30:50

       Hey, if somebody says, "I killed myself," that means they didn't kill themselves. Anytime you hear that though, you're like, "Are you about to kill yourself though?"

   22. JRJoe Rogan30:56

       (laughs) Yeah.

   23. MNMark Normand30:56

       (laughs) What an odd thing to say.

   24. JRJoe Rogan30:57

       Yeah, right? (laughs) Right? It is an odd thing to say. But it's not if you're Julian Assange.

   25. MNMark Normand31:00

       Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan31:01

       Mm. Right? If you really think they're gonna whack you.

   27. MNMark Normand31:03

       That's what, uh, what's his name said too. McAfee.

   28. JRJoe Rogan31:06

       Yeah. A lot of those guys said that. Did they?

   29. MNMark Normand31:08

       McAfee is a wild boy.

   30. JRJoe Rogan31:08

       No, no, no, no.
9. 44:29 – 51:30

   Post-9/11 fear systems and disasters: terror color alerts, California fires, and orange smoke

   1. SGShane Gillis44:29

      No. I got an Amber Alert today. Did you guys get that one?

   2. GUGuest44:31

      Texas.

   3. JRJoe Rogan44:31

      Yeah, we get 'em all the time.

   4. GUGuest44:32

      Texas goes wild with Amber Alerts.

   5. Yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan44:34

      Yeah. You know what I don't miss about California?

   7. GUGuest44:35

      It's a really depressing way to start.

   8. JRJoe Rogan44:37

      The forest fires.

   9. GUGuest44:38

      Oh, yeah. The sudden fires.

   10. JRJoe Rogan44:40

       The fires were crazy in California.

   11. SGShane Gillis44:42

       Yeah.

   12. JRJoe Rogan44:42

       You ain't never seen anything like it.

   13. SGShane Gillis44:44

       They're here now.

   14. JRJoe Rogan44:45

       Yeah, bullshit fires.

   15. SGShane Gillis44:46

       Because they took everything.

   16. JRJoe Rogan44:47

       Listen, they, they're, they're bad, but not ... They're not bad like it is in LA because it doesn't rain there.

   17. SGShane Gillis44:52

       Right.

   18. JRJoe Rogan44:53

       So everything ... Like, you know they have those things, like the colors for fires?

   19. GUGuest44:56

       Oh, yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan44:56

       It was the fire warning. It was always red.

   21. GUGuest44:58

       It was always red.

   22. JRJoe Rogan44:59

       It was always red. It's not red for, like, three months out of the year.

   23. GUGuest45:02

       Like, do not smoke a cigarette on Laurel Canyon.

   24. JRJoe Rogan45:03

       If you're an asshole-

   25. GUGuest45:04

       That's like, do not. Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan45:05

       These fucking assholes that throw cigarettes out the window when they're done with them, these littering cocksuckers.

   27. GUGuest45:10

       Yeah, if you listen-

   28. You're not even allowed to smoke in your car with the windows up on the way up Laurel Canyon.

   29. JRJoe Rogan45:13

       You're not?

   30. GUGuest45:13

       Yeah, when it's, like, dry.
10. 51:30 – 1:02:51

    Nicotine ‘loosies,’ drinking math, and comedians’ nightlife strategies

    1. JRJoe Rogan51:30

       Jamie, w- why, why are you so hostile today to your boys?

    2. MNMark Normand51:32

       Hey, Ari, young Ari, could you hand me a beer, please?

    3. GUGuest51:34

       There we go.

    4. MNMark Normand51:34

       Sure, Shaniel. Sure, (laughs) Fit Shane. (laughs)

    5. JRJoe Rogan51:37

       Hey, I've heard about... There's these things, Shane, there's these things called Loosies. You ever heard of a Loosie?

    6. MNMark Normand51:42

       Oh, I know about Loosies.

    7. JRJoe Rogan51:43

       That has 12 milligrams.

    8. MNMark Normand51:44

       Loosie Breakers?

    9. JRJoe Rogan51:46

       They have 12 milligrams. This is six.

    10. GUGuest51:48

        No, you don't want that.

    11. JRJoe Rogan51:49

        They have 12.

    12. GUGuest51:50

        That's too much.

    13. MNMark Normand51:50

        Six is too much for people.

    14. JRJoe Rogan51:51

        Don't say that. When you say that, I want two in my mouth right now.

    15. GUGuest51:53

        Is that from Tucker?

    16. MNMark Normand51:54

        Whoa.

    17. JRJoe Rogan51:54

        I don't like the way you're talking.

    18. GUGuest51:55

        (laughs)

    19. JRJoe Rogan51:55

        You can't handle 12.

    20. MNMark Normand51:56

        No, this is from the fucking gas station.

    21. JRJoe Rogan51:58

        Yeah. (laughs)

    22. GUGuest51:58

        You're 4'2". 12, 12 milligrams will put you on the moon.

    23. MNMark Normand52:01

        (laughs)

    24. JRJoe Rogan52:02

        I think it's a weight thing.

    25. GUGuest52:04

        (laughs)

    26. MNMark Normand52:04

        Yeah.

    27. GUGuest52:04

        All right.

    28. MNMark Normand52:05

        (laughs) I don't even think it is.

    29. JRJoe Rogan52:06

        You're a short, round guy. You can consume a lot of alcohol.

    30. GUGuest52:09

        That's true.

Episode duration: 5:07:03