Joe Rogan Experience #2128 - Joey Diaz

Joey Diaz 0:00 (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

Narrator 0:04 The Joe Rogan Experience. (energetic music) Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.

Joe Rogan 0:12 This is a good way to open up the podcast because Jamie is an expert on all things black Twitter.

Narrator 0:17 Well ...

Joe Rogan 0:17 What's going on, Jamie?

Narrator 0:18 I don't know. It's ... There's a lot going on. A lot of rumors are flying. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:22 The rumors are that Diddy was running some kind of Epstein-type deal where he was filming everybody, right?

Narrator 0:27 That's the rumors, yeah. I don't know that there's any proof or anything, other than that ...

Joe Rogan 0:31 The thing is, like, we're getting the rumors from the internet.

Narrator 0:34 Right.

Joe Rogan 0:34 And the, the internet thinks that the Taliban took out that bridge in Baltimore. (laughs) So it's like, who fucking knows? Who knows what's real?

Narrator 0:42 That's what Diddy's lawyers, I think, said was like that these are just truffed-up charges. Not truffed up, I don't think they said that, but like, like bullshit charges.

Joe Rogan 0:49 Dude, when Homeland Security invades your house-

Joey Diaz 0:52 You got problems.

Joe Rogan 0:53 ... with dudes with fucking guns and body armor, there's-

Narrator 0:58 I guess someone said that they weren't there to take stuff, they were there to delete everything. Like the real people that were in there, you know?

Joe Rogan 1:04 Oh, that's funny.

Narrator 1:05 Like what they were doing with Epstein.

Joe Rogan 1:06 Oh, that's funny.

Narrator 1:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07 That's fun- ... Of course. There's layers upon layers.

Narrator 1:09 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:09 When you get into (laughs) these fucking conspiracy theories, man, they, they never end. They never end. There's just layers upon layers upon layers.

Narrator 1:19 It's fun to talk about.

Joe Rogan 1:20 It is fun to talk about. It's hard to know what's true.

Narrator 1:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:25 But ...

Narrator 1:25 Who knows?

Joe Rogan 1:25 Why ... People genuinely love it when someone like Diddy gets caught, though. The glee that people have is weird.

Joey Diaz 1:32 Why?

Joe Rogan 1:33 Because he's too successful. Also, there's like ... There was always so much W- East Coast/West Coast shit that's still, like, in the zeitgeist, you know, like with Biggie and Tupac, and they're all hating at each other and they both got killed, and there was a lot going on. And then there's people that thought that Puffy was involved and Suge Knight was involved.

Narrator 1:56 Speaking of, I think Suge Knight's the one who said that thing I just thought of.

Joe Rogan 1:59 What thing?

Narrator 2:00 (clears throat) About the ... They were there to delete stuff.

Joe Rogan 2:02 Ooh.

Narrator 2:03 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:04 Well, if he really was filming everybody ...

Narrator 2:07 Let me see.

Joe Rogan 2:08 I mean, he had a lot of people at those parties, right? You know who said? (laughs) Luke from 2 Live Crew.

Joey Diaz 2:17 Yeah, he said he needs to leave early or something like-

Joe Rogan 2:19 Yeah. (laughs) When Luke from 2 Live Crew is leaving early, like you got a wild party. (laughs) What, wha- ... If what's happening is too fucked up for L- for Luke from 2 Live Crew, like check, please. There's so many different stories. Who knows?

Joey Diaz 2:42 What are you gonna do?

Joe Rogan 2:42 I'm not doing nothing.

Joey Diaz 2:43 We're not involved in them.

Joe Rogan 2:44 I'm not involved.

Joey Diaz 2:45 I was never at Diddy's party. I don't even know the motherfucker.

Joe Rogan 2:48 We're out here-

Joey Diaz 2:48 I don't want to know nobody.

Joe Rogan 2:49 Telling jokes.

Joey Diaz 2:49 I don't want to know nobody.

Joe Rogan 2:50 Telling jokes.

Joey Diaz 2:51 Like I told you.

Joe Rogan 2:51 Having fun.

Joey Diaz 2:52 That's it.

Joe Rogan 2:52 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 2:53 Smoking dope, cracking jokes, making people ... Everything-

Joe Rogan 2:55 That's it.

Joey Diaz 2:55 ... else is background music. And living in LA, you have all this shit that's going on around you.

Joe Rogan 3:00 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 3:00 That's what I ... You know, you have your life, and then you have all this shit that goes in and out of your ears all fucking day, and you're like, "I just want to do standup."

Joe Rogan 3:08 You also have those, uh, those celebrity environments where celebrities all get together and there's so many of them, you know, and these wild parties. And if you got a wild party and P. Diddy puts on that wild party and, you know, he sets everybody up. Like if you were an intelligence agent, you know, like a Jeffrey Epstein-type deal, that'd be the way to do it. Big old crazy party, get everybody loose.

Joey Diaz 3:34 And get the cameras rolling.

Joe Rogan 3:35 Get them the yayo. Get them the yayo.

Joey Diaz 3:39 And everything else you need.

Joe Rogan 3:40 Get them a little of everything you need. Get fired up. Get those cameras rolling. And now you've got everybody under wraps. What a twisted web some folks weave.

Joey Diaz 3:56 (grunts)

Joe Rogan 3:56 You all right over there?

Joey Diaz 3:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:58 You got to concentrate. That is a skill that I never picked up, the roll-your-own skill. Never picked it up.

Joey Diaz 4:07 Sometimes you got no choice but to pick it up.

Joe Rogan 4:09 Yeah. No, I should have.

Joey Diaz 4:10 You're sitting there with reefer, a paper.

Joe Rogan 4:11 I admire people that do it. When I see a person that can roll a solid joint, I'm like, "That is a ... That's an exceptional person." It's like a person who could play guitar. I'm like, "Oh, you took the time."

Narrator 4:22 There's a level of skill with it too. Some people can roll some nice ones.

Joe Rogan 4:25 Oh yeah, man.

Narrator 4:26 It doesn't have to look like they were done by a machine.

Joe Rogan 4:28 I've seen dudes in Instagram driving their car, rolling with one hand.

Joey Diaz 4:31 Rolling with one hand. That's, that's ...

Joe Rogan 4:33 That's next level.

Joey Diaz 4:34 Yeah, that's next level.

Joe Rogan 4:35 That's next level. Charlie Murphy could roll a hell of a blunt. Charlie Murphy is one of those ... You know who else rolls a hell of a blunt? Luis.

Joey Diaz 4:44 Gomez?

Joe Rogan 4:44 Luis Gomez.

Joey Diaz 4:45 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:46 Yeah, Gomez rolls a hell of a blunt, and he does it the real way. He doesn't just split the spliff and open it up and lick it. No, no, no. He takes the paper out and he makes ... you know, cuts it. Like he'll, he'll unravel a cigar and then take this t- the tobacco paper and cut it and wet it and get it down.

Joey Diaz 5:04 I just want to want to get high.

Joe Rogan 5:06 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 5:06 It's like freebase in Coke. I got to run it and run it through a sock.

Joe Rogan 5:09 Hey.

Joey Diaz 5:10 And then it's got to dry. No, just give me the fucking reefer. I'd rather ... I like smoking blunts, but that's what gave me pneumonia last summer. I started smoking blunts.

Joe Rogan 5:19 Yeah?

Joey Diaz 5:20 Sure enough, my-

Joe Rogan 5:20 It gave you ammone- pneumonia?

Joey Diaz 5:22 Pneumonia.

Joe Rogan 5:22 Really?

Joey Diaz 5:22 Pneumonia last summer.

Joe Rogan 5:24 Do you think it's definitely from that?

Joey Diaz 5:25 It was that and the sle- ... What was ... It was a bunch of shit. What it really was, was I had an abscess.

Joe Rogan 5:31 Oh.

Joey Diaz 5:32 And the sleep mask.

Joe Rogan 5:34 Oh.

Joey Diaz 5:34 I cleaned that motherfucker-

Joe Rogan 5:35 Abscesses are dangerous.

Joey Diaz 5:37 ... for 20 years. Dog, this was ... I'm shooting a fucking movie with Kevin and it blew.

Joe Rogan 5:42 Oh, really?

Joey Diaz 5:42 In my mouth, as I was shooting with Kevin.

Joe Rogan 5:44 Oh, you had no idea.

Joey Diaz 5:46 No, and I'm spitting blood and pus, and I'm like, "Oh," and then I started-

Joe Rogan 5:49 Oh, no.

Joey Diaz 5:49 ... feeling sick.

Joe Rogan 5:50 Oh, no, so it gets-

Joey Diaz 5:50 Thank God we wrapped.

Joe Rogan 5:51 ... in your bloodstream.

Joey Diaz 5:52 Thank God we wrapped.

Joe Rogan 5:53 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 5:53 I'm fucking ... I'm like, "I'm not going to make it home."

Joe Rogan 5:56 Woo.

Joey Diaz 5:56 I couldn't even drive. I got home. I went right to sleep. The next day, I got up and went right to the doctor.... and that started, you know, 'cause doctors aren't... Now they send you to 20 different places. So by the time you get to... You know what just started with the pneumonia?

Joe Rogan 6:08 What?

Joey Diaz 6:08 They saw a fucking thing in my kidney. What's that when you have a-

Joe Rogan 6:11 Kidney stone?

Joey Diaz 6:12 Kidney stone.

Joe Rogan 6:13 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 6:13 They go, "We gotta start drinking..." Whatever. I'm like, "Kidney stones."

Joe Rogan 6:16 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 6:17 Then I went to another doctor and he's like, "You're not a kidney stone. There's something wrong with the bottom of your lung."

Joe Rogan 6:22 Oh.

Joey Diaz 6:23 And, "There's a cyst in your heart."

Joe Rogan 6:25 A cyst?

Joey Diaz 6:26 Something that kept growing over the years, like a little boil by one of the valves.

Joe Rogan 6:30 Oh, Jesus.

Joey Diaz 6:31 All right, and then he sent me for another one. And then finally Eisenberg fucking sent me to the real deal, and he goes, "This eliminates everything." When I w- left there, I thought he was gonna say, "We're gonna put in a stent," then all this shit. He goes, "No, just aspirin."

Joe Rogan 6:46 Aspirin?

Joey Diaz 6:46 "I just want you to go on a baby of aspirin."

Joe Rogan 6:48 Really?

Joey Diaz 6:48 That's it. He goes, "Your heart's perfect. You're good." That's it. My calcium score was good, which was very fucking surprising, you know. I stopped eating bacon in the mornings.

Joe Rogan 6:59 Yeah? How come?

Joey Diaz 7:00 Just, just... I do an avocado toast instead. You know, I rather do avocado toast with an egg and a bowl of fruit.

Joe Rogan 7:08 That's good.

Joey Diaz 7:08 That's... Yeah. That's perfect.

Joe Rogan 7:09 That's good.

Joey Diaz 7:10 You know, I used to eat a cheese omelet with french fries, with 10 pieces of bread with butter on it. So that's-

Joe Rogan 7:15 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 7:15 This works.

Joe Rogan 7:16 This is better.

Joey Diaz 7:17 This works.

Joe Rogan 7:17 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 7:17 You know? So-

Joe Rogan 7:18 That's definitely better.

Joey Diaz 7:19 So-

Joe Rogan 7:19 Get them healthy fats. Yeah. How good is that sushi place we went to?

Joey Diaz 7:23 Oh, my God.

Joe Rogan 7:24 Yuki- shout out to Yuki Hand Roll.

Joey Diaz 7:26 Jesus Christ.

Joe Rogan 7:28 Yeah. Yeah.

Joey Diaz 7:28 The fucking... When you got up to go to the bathroom is when he dropped my roll. I'm like, "Who's is this?"

Joe Rogan 7:32 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 7:32 It was just this fucking... A chunk.

Joe Rogan 7:34 Yeah. Yeah.

Joey Diaz 7:34 And especially now with this new economics, that sushi's getting smaller and smaller-

Joe Rogan 7:39 It is at a lot of places.

Joey Diaz 7:40 ... and smaller. This fucking... There was two hunks of fucking tuna there.

Joe Rogan 7:42 Yeah. They're big.

Joey Diaz 7:43 I'm full.

Joe Rogan 7:44 They give you big pieces at Yuki.

Joey Diaz 7:46 And-

Joe Rogan 7:46 And the guy came from Nobu. Super sweet guy. Really nice guy.

Joey Diaz 7:49 You guys have put together a hell of a fucking time. Remember, we were... We've been coming here since '98.

Joe Rogan 7:54 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 7:54 And we used to come here, we used to... Go to Pappadeaux.

Joe Rogan 7:57 Yep.

Joey Diaz 7:58 And, uh, well, there was only the one place we went to. The Mexican joint, Papacitos.

Joe Rogan 8:03 Yep.

Joey Diaz 8:03 And that's it.

Joe Rogan 8:05 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 8:05 And that was where we went for three fucking days. Now look what you got here.

Joe Rogan 8:08 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 8:09 It's like an empire of every... You guys were talking in the green room last night about all the different restaurants.

Joe Rogan 8:14 So many people moved here.

Joey Diaz 8:14 And you guys didn't stop.

Joe Rogan 8:16 So many people moved here.

Joey Diaz 8:17 Didn't stop. You guys did not...

Joe Rogan 8:18 No.

Joey Diaz 8:18 Everybody had a suggestion. "How about this place?"

Joe Rogan 8:20 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 8:20 You asked for a steak here, eight people raised their hand.

Joe Rogan 8:23 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 8:23 Mexican food, go to that place that's fusion or whatever.

Joe Rogan 8:26 There's so many good steakhouses in town that people forget. You know, you go, uh, you know, you go, "Oh, you got J Carver's," right. Perry's. "Perry's!" Bob's. "Bob's!"

Joey Diaz 8:35 There's excitement down there.

Joe Rogan 8:36 Three Forks. Three Forks. Yeah. Yeah.

Joey Diaz 8:38 It's very exciting. You know, the last two nights, the store in its heyday, like 2019, 2018. I gotta be honest with you. I would do my spots and I would have to go to the kitchen and sit in the corner by myself and I would just watch. To, to think that this was really happening...

Joe Rogan 8:56 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 8:57 ... because it would assault all your... Like, it was just so much. It was celebrities.

Joe Rogan 9:02 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 9:02 I remember one night half of UFC was there.

Joe Rogan 9:04 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 9:05 You know?

Joe Rogan 9:05 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 9:05 Like, you look around, there's fucking eight guys in the UFC right there. And you're like-

Joe Rogan 9:09 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 9:09 ... "What the fuck is happening up here? What the fuck are all these people..."

Joe Rogan 9:13 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 9:13 You know? The last two nights I had to leave early. And I... You go home and you can't sleep.

Joe Rogan 9:19 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 9:19 Last night when you text me, I was awake. I got home at fucking 11:00. I couldn't sleep from everything. I was writing and fucking thinking and cumming on his head and fucking...

Joe Rogan 9:28 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 9:29 You know, it's what standup does to you at night. It's... You know, you can't not be a fucking early riser with standup. Because even if you do an 8:00 show, unless you're a fucking mope, you're thinking about that set.

Joe Rogan 9:41 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 9:41 Even when you're eating with your friend. (laughs) You, you know where you went weak tonight. Even though you, you did great, that one joke didn't work. You're thinking about how you can make it better. That's what I missed. I didn't miss the planes, I didn't miss the hotels.

Joe Rogan 9:55 Right.

Joey Diaz 9:56 I missed having four ideas and starting to get on stage and trying to connect those four ideas together. And when they, those four ideas get connected together, I'm just saying-

Joe Rogan 10:05 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 10:05 ... four ideas, three different premises.

Joe Rogan 10:08 Right. Right. Yeah.

Joey Diaz 10:08 It's the best feeling. It's better than sex.

Joe Rogan 10:11 It's incredible feeling.

Joey Diaz 10:12 It's better than sex. And that's what I missed. Everything else, I didn't bug me. The aging or... No.

Joe Rogan 10:17 Well, there's a relationship with the audience that's so pure, 'cause, you know, they know you. Like they really know you. They know you from podcasts, they know you from your Bits, they, they fucking know you. They know you from conversations. They get it. And then they're watching you put together this thing that's really for them. It's for you because you create it and, you know, you get paid to say it and yo- you get this great feeling that you did it. But for a person, like a fan... Like when I was watching you last night, as a, as a fa- like I got to see a bunch of new, (laughs) new shit that you were doing that I was telling you was killing me. But it's, it's a beautiful feeling. It's a great feeling when someone that you really love is really... Who's really funny, who's got new stuff and they're killing it. And it's just like this, this atmosphere. So there's 250 people and we're all sharing this moment. So it's, it's super positive in like all ways. It makes people feel better. They leave that place, they feel better. And so when you know that you can do that, then you get together in the green room afterwards, you're like, "Ah, there's one bit that's like something missing." It's fucking... There's something clunky about it. It just feels fake. It feels like it's too perfor- I gotta rework it. I gotta rework it. And then you start from scratch, you figure it out. But it's just because you wanna get to that place where the fan, the audience is like, "Yes. Ah!" Y- you hit them with some shit they didn't see coming and, uh, or they get to see some shit that maybe you did six months ago but now it's tight.

Joey Diaz 11:51 It's tighter.

Joe Rogan 11:52 Yeah. Now, now it's got all these new punchlines and new, new avenues that you could take it to. It's ah...

Joey Diaz 11:59 The worst is when you, three years later-... and you get a bit and you're like, "You know what? I wish I could use that bit now."

Joe Rogan 12:05 Right.

Joey Diaz 12:06 That bit I did three years ago fits right in here now, but you're like-

Joe Rogan 12:09 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 12:09 ... "If I bring it up, people are gonna know I'm doing old jokes."

Joe Rogan 12:11 Yeah, but sometimes-

Joey Diaz 12:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:12 ... just shove it in there anyway. Who cares? Just because it fits, it's perfect, it's funny. The whole idea is just be as funny as possible.

Joey Diaz 12:20 Yeah, not, like, not here.

Joe Rogan 12:20 You're always supposed to be coming up with new mer- material for sure, but, uh, you know, I don't mind when somebody busts out an old bit.

Joey Diaz 12:29 The other night when I got here, I got, I landed at 11:30. I got my luggage by quarter to 12:00, I walked out. When I got in that car, you should've seen that airport. It was alive at midnight.

Joe Rogan 12:41 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 12:41 Fucking tons of people coming into Austin. I mean, I was like, "This has changed a lot." This airport used to be a sleepy fucking hollow. Look at this motherfucker.

Joe Rogan 12:51 Yeah, the whole town. The pandemic changed the whole town, you know, and then a lot of the tech companies moved here too. That was a big part of it. A lot of these young people just, they were, just didn't want any part of San Francisco anymore. They're like, "We gotta get the fuck outta here."

Joey Diaz 13:03 Who would wanna live there?

Joe Rogan 13:04 Who would wanna live there? It's dangerous, it's weird. You know, Elon was saying five of his friends have been assaulted or robbed. Five.

Joey Diaz 13:12 You can't lock your car.

Joe Rogan 13:13 Yeah, you gotta leave your car with a window open-

Joey Diaz 13:15 With the windows smashed because they're gonna smash it. You know, how do you live like that?

Joe Rogan 13:18 Yeah. You, you, you ba- they basically empowered, um, mental patients who were drug addicts to just live on the street, and shit everywhere, and harass people. And there's no sign that they're turning it around. They're just, they, they don't seem to be turning it around at all, except for when Xi Jinping came to town.

Joey Diaz 13:38 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:38 I told them if I, if I was the mayor, I'd buy Ji Jing Ping a condo. Like, when, when, when he's in town, everything's clean. When he came to San Francisco, they, they moved all the tents, they put up fences so people couldn't put tents back up, they cleaned the streets. And Gavin Newsom was like, "Well, when you have guests come over, you clean up your house." (laughs) Like, what?

Joey Diaz 13:58 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:58 What a crazy, gaslighting spin on, uh, a fact that you could have fixed this the whole time, and you chose not to until the dictator comes to town.

Joey Diaz 14:09 (laughs) You know, in my criminal heyday, I used to move around a lot, and I ended up in San Francisco, August of '85. I was in Boulder, the cops were looking for me. And I said, "Fuck it, where do I go?" I went to the airport and I picked a spot. And I go, "What's the closest flight here leaving?" San Francisco. All right, get me to San Francisco. And I went up there, and I went right to the Tenderloin, Joe. And it was buck wild. I mean, for a New York City kid to look at you and go, "You gotta be careful down there."

Joe Rogan 14:37 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 14:38 I still remember in 1985, they had a place called Coffee Ron's that was a topless coffee place.

Joe Rogan 14:45 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 14:45 With the ugliest titties-

Joe Rogan 14:46 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 14:46 ... you've ever seen in your fucking life in there. I mean, they weren't award-winning titties. Soggy, they looked like a puppy was gonna milk on 'em, but they had that.

Joe Rogan 14:55 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 14:55 And they were open 24 hours right down the block from me.

Joe Rogan 14:58 It was a wild city.

Joey Diaz 14:59 It was wild, and up the corner were hookers for fucking miles. It-

Joe Rogan 15:05 It had a standup scene, but it never had a standup scene like Boston or New York or LA.

Joey Diaz 15:10 No, but it was a good standup scene.

Joe Rogan 15:11 A solid scene.

Joey Diaz 15:12 Yeah, they had, like-

Joe Rogan 15:12 Robin Williams came out of there. Who else? Did Pa-

Joey Diaz 15:15 Slayton, uh, we were just talking about them, the Korean girl, she's from San Francisco.

Joe Rogan 15:22 Margaret Cho?

Joey Diaz 15:22 Margaret Cho.

Joe Rogan 15:22 Margaret Cho.

Joey Diaz 15:23 Her mother had a bookstore downstairs or something. A couple funny guys came out of Frisco. That's, that comedy-

Joe Rogan 15:29 Sorry, Margaret. I blame Pat Williams, we-

Joey Diaz 15:30 The, the comedy festival really was great up there. It really did a lot for a lot of comics.

Joe Rogan 15:35 I never went to that one.

Joey Diaz 15:36 I did it, I quit.

Joe Rogan 15:38 Yeah?

Joey Diaz 15:38 Four nights. You know, what am I doing? I'm sleeping on the beach, I'm paying for my own hotel, and the judges are comedians from San Francisco.

Joe Rogan 15:46 Mm.

Joey Diaz 15:48 And I'm coming in fucking 12th every night, 'cause they don't know me.

Joe Rogan 15:51 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 15:52 These guys are coming in first, you know, the judges are hugging them, smoking dope with them.

Joe Rogan 15:55 Wait, what year was this that you did it?

Joey Diaz 15:58 (sighs) '97-ish, '98. I drove home, I went to The Comedy Store, they let me go up, and I went to the House of Blues and saw Celia Cruz instead of fucking be- I, I left Thursday night-

Joe Rogan 16:13 The House of Blues used to be the shit.

Joey Diaz 16:15 The shit.

Joe Rogan 16:15 We used to go across the street-

Joey Diaz 16:17 Across the street.

Joe Rogan 16:17 ... and watch killer bands.

Joey Diaz 16:18 Fucking unbelievable. For free.

Joe Rogan 16:20 It was amazing.

Joey Diaz 16:20 Just walk in.

Joe Rogan 16:20 Yeah, "Hey, guys."

Joey Diaz 16:21 "Come on over," yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:22 Yeah, they'd just let us in.

Joey Diaz 16:24 "Come on over." Fuck.

Joe Rogan 16:24 It was amazing.

Joey Diaz 16:25 I went to see one of my mother's friends there. My mother's friend was this Cuban dude, Patato Totico, they're huge in Cuba. And he was playing there by himself. He had to be, like, 70.

Joe Rogan 16:38 Before I forget, what is your cousin's band in Cuba? That band?

Joey Diaz 16:42 Emmy Alfonso. Emmy.

Joe Rogan 16:45 Emmy Alfonso?

Joey Diaz 16:46 She got some new shit. She was just here. She came down for the last show.

Joe Rogan 16:49 They, I wanna put him on the Spotify list.

Joey Diaz 16:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:51 This shit is banging, but I couldn't remember.

Joey Diaz 16:54 They came, she came here for fucking South by Southwest.

Joe Rogan 16:56 Really?

Joey Diaz 16:56 Yeah, she was in South and S- by Southwest.

Joe Rogan 16:58 How do you say it? How do you spell it?

Joey Diaz 16:59 Emmy. E-M-E-

Joe Rogan 17:01 E-M-M-Y?

Joey Diaz 17:03 E-M-E-

Joe Rogan 17:04 E-M-E-

Joey Diaz 17:05 ... A-L-F... Alfonso. A-L-F-O-N-S-O.

Joe Rogan 17:12 Emmy Alfon- Got it, bam. There it is.

Joey Diaz 17:16 Can you believe that's my family up there? The Instagram shot at the, at the top?

Joe Rogan 17:20 What's a good song that I should put on the Spotify pl-

Joey Diaz 17:22 Wow.

Joe Rogan 17:22 ... playlist?

Joey Diaz 17:23 That's my family, bro. That's my legitimate fucking family. That guy on the far left is my mother's brother. That's his son that owns La Factoria in Cuba, the big club where you go to. That's his sister, and that's my aunt.

Joe Rogan 17:39 Wow.

Joey Diaz 17:40 That dude is 80 years old and he's still a musician, plays congas.

Joe Rogan 17:44 Wow.

Joey Diaz 17:45 You know, the whole fucking thing. Emmy lives in... No, Ecky, the guy with the dreads, my cousin, he lives, like, in fucking Germany or some shit.

Joe Rogan 17:54 Really?

Joey Diaz 17:54 Yeah, he don't even go to Cuba. He goes to Cuba to pick up a check or something like that.

Joe Rogan 17:57 Are you, is he allowed to go in and out? You could-

Joey Diaz 18:00 He's a band member.

Joe Rogan 18:01 Oh, okay, so he can get away with anything?

Joey Diaz 18:02 He just says he's playing in a band in fucking-

Joe Rogan 18:04 Give me a, what, uh, what ch- song should I pick for this playlist?

Joey Diaz 18:07 Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 18:07 How's Keep Your Head Up?

Joey Diaz 18:10 The one that you really liked that time was the one where she's walking.

Joe Rogan 18:14 Which one's that?

Joey Diaz 18:18 I forget.

Joe Rogan 18:19 All right, listen, I'll screenshot this. I'll come back to it later. I'll put some of them on the Spotify list.

Joey Diaz 18:24 And while I got you, can we look at that car?

Joe Rogan 18:26 Oh, yeah. Steven Seagal-

Joey Diaz 18:28 Steven Seagal in the movie with the Jamaicans.

Joe Rogan 18:31 Jamie, uh, Joey-

Joey Diaz 18:33 With s- screw head.

Joe Rogan 18:34 Jamie said he had a '69 Mach 1.

Joey Diaz 18:37 I didn't say '69, I didn't know what year it was.

Joe Rogan 18:38 He said Mach 1.

Joey Diaz 18:39 Mach 1.

Joe Rogan 18:39 He said M-A-C...

Joey Diaz 18:41 (clears throat)

Joe Rogan 18:41 And I was like, it's probably a Mach 1. It's an old muscle car, right?

Joey Diaz 18:44 Yes, sir.

Joe Rogan 18:46 It's probably that.

Joey Diaz 18:51 Oh, shit.

Joe Rogan 18:51 Okay, that's a '70. That's a '70.

Joey Diaz 18:54 I like that junk.

Joe Rogan 18:55 Yeah, it's a nice car.

Joey Diaz 18:56 How fast is that?

Joe Rogan 18:57 Oh, it's fast as fuck. They handle like shit. But, they're, that's the '69, that's the one John Wick had. Uh, the '70, it's not g- not quite as good-looking, but still, great fucking car. I forgot about this scene. Oh, they crushed it with two trucks (laughs) damn it.

Joey Diaz 19:17 I forgot the name of this movie, but it's god awful.

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 19:20 Marked for Death?

Joey Diaz 19:21 Marked for Death.

Joe Rogan 19:21 Eh...

Joey Diaz 19:22 Screwface.

Joe Rogan 19:24 This movie's so bad. (laughs)

Joey Diaz 19:26 It's really bad.

Joe Rogan 19:29 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 19:29 And then he kills him, then his bro- he comes back from life. I, I'm like, all right, that's it.

Joe Rogan 19:34 He kills him and he comes back from the dead, right?

Joey Diaz 19:37 Screwhead, Screwface or something, yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:40 (laughs) Oh, he lights him on fire and he has to escape. This is so dumb. (laughs) Well, this is skinny Steven Seagal. These are at least more believable musi- movies, until they went completely sideways. "All right, he's gonna sneak out. He's gonna get out." And the, the guy with the tractor never crushes him? Goddamn Tom Segura's gotta stop sending me videos. Tom Segura sent me this video of this dude smushing somebody with a tractor, running, running the tractor right through them.

Joey Diaz 20:10 I don't wanna see that shit.

Joe Rogan 20:12 I don't wanna see it either, but Tom Segura thinks I do. Every day, we freak each other out. I find the worst shit that I see on Instagram... By the way, Instagram is wild right now. I mean, buck wild with murder and animal attacks and bombs exploding on people and terrorist attacks and riots, and it's like, you can find everything on Instagram now. And these are accounts that I don't even follow. So they know my brain is a mess. So they're just sending me the, the most horrible shit, and I just get it all day long. I saved one just for you.

Joey Diaz 20:50 How do... The only f- we could, we could watch it. The only fucking thing that amazes me about Instagram, I don't know what's going on, but if you go to, like, look, this section here, w- will you break it down for me?

Joe Rogan 21:03 Yeah. The Explore section? Like, the one here?

Joey Diaz 21:05 This, the Search? Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:06 Uh-huh.

Joey Diaz 21:06 That there.

Joe Rogan 21:07 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 21:07 I still can't put together wh- these women. Are they hookers? Are they just showing their bodies?

Joe Rogan 21:13 First of all, some of them might, they're... Look at this one.

Joey Diaz 21:16 Yeah, that one.

Joe Rogan 21:16 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 21:16 Like that. What are they doing?

Joe Rogan 21:18 They got fake babies. They got fake babies. So they pull their tits out to breastfeed fake babies. So it's like a hack. So they can...

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 21:25 Link in bio.

Joe Rogan 21:25 What's that? Link in bio, yeah. You go in that bio, bam, and then there's a, it's, it's probably an OnlyFans. And, let's see, 18+, yes we are.

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 21:36 All right.

Joe Rogan 21:36 (laughs) And then...

Joey Diaz 21:38 Wow.

Joe Rogan 21:39 ... love me, it's a different one.

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 21:40 That's a summer, I'm gonna get trapped in there fucking-

Joe Rogan 21:41 Oh, it's a dating. Oh, you're done, you're done. You have a, a virus on your computer right now. We need to blow up that computer. We'll take that computer to the range, fill it full of lead. (laughs) It's like... So they just rope you in. They get lonely, lost guys, and they see this girl breastfeeding a rubber baby, and, uh, they dump... I mean, that's how Andrew Tate made all his money.

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 22:02 How many are there on this page, though?

Joe Rogan 22:03 Coming in hot. Bunch of titties.

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 22:05 There's lots of them.

Joe Rogan 22:06 Lots of titties.

Joey Diaz 22:07 Then they got the other girls that flip the camera around and show their monkey and then show their face.

Joe Rogan 22:12 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 22:12 And I can't figure out what the fuck that's about either.

Joe Rogan 22:14 (laughs)

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 22:15 Dude.

Joey Diaz 22:15 I'm like, "Why are they doing this?"

Joe Rogan 22:16 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 22:16 Why... They show their face, then they flip it, they show their underwear monkey, and then they flip back and they start talking to you, and I'm like, "Why are they doing that?"

Joe Rogan 22:24 Yeah. OnlyFans. Yeah, they're trying to get you to go to their website, or OnlyFans, or whatever that website was. It's just a bunch of girls that get hired, I'm sure, I'm guessing. But this is what I imagine. They get hired by an agency or some company, and they, uh, they put a fake name to them, and, uh, they say, "Link in bio." You go to the link in the bio and you go to some porn site, or you go to some dating site, or you go to some OnlyFans-type site. And lost guys who don't have any money and just, or they don't have anybody with them, they're sad, they give up all their cash. (laughs) They, they get hundreds of thousands of dollars off these dopes. And the way Andrew Tate was doing it, he would have the girls sit in front of the keyboard, typing with their tits out, and then him and his friends would be over on the r- side, and they would be typing all the shit, 'cause they knew what the guy wanted to hear. So they would type all the things for the guy, and the guys would just donate money. And they were making millions, millions.

Joey Diaz 23:24 That is crazy.

Joe Rogan 23:25 Yeah. It's crazy. But, you know, it's one of those things where there's certain kind of scams where I think they should be legal. Like televangelists. Like late-night preachers.

Joey Diaz 23:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:38 It's so obvious, it should be legal. Like if that (laughs) if they're getting you with that, I don't have a pro- I don't... I've never called for, like, the banning of televangelists. Like, you know when they're like, "God told me I need a private jet. There is no way I can do the Lord's duty flying commercial." And these guys, they'll fucking sell it. They'll sell it. This one guy was telling people that if they're broke, if they have no money, if they just send whatever they can...... everything they have, God will bless them with 10 times more. He just kept saying that. So he was trying to get people that would, literally had nothing, and if you send me, the guy in the $5,000 (laughs) suit with the big pinky ring, if you send me your money, whatever you have left, God will bless you 10 times over.

Joey Diaz 24:32 I don't believe the batting of anybody who could take money out of your pocket. Do you know that? Because if you're that fucking stupid, i- it's like, who raised you?

Joe Rogan 24:42 It gets to a certain level where I'm like, "Okay, wait a minute." Like, financial market stuff. Like, when, when people are pulling stock schemes and pump and dumps and things like that. Yeah, that's different.

Joey Diaz 24:52 That's different.

Joe Rogan 24:53 That's different. Then, then you're, you're actually getting-

Joey Diaz 24:55 No, I'm not talking about those. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:56 Intelligent people, like Bernie Madoff.

Joey Diaz 24:58 Right. No.

Joe Rogan 24:58 You're actually getting intelligent people-

Joey Diaz 25:00 That fucking rob you.

Joe Rogan 25:01 Yeah. They just trusted you and they thought-

Joey Diaz 25:03 I'm talking about, like, when an African sends you a text message-

Joe Rogan 25:06 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 25:06 ... and says, "Fucking come bail me out."

Joe Rogan 25:08 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 25:08 "If you send me 500, you're gonna inhail, inherit $80 million."

Joe Rogan 25:12 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 25:13 You know how many people get... Every year, 60 Minutes has a fucking expose.

Joe Rogan 25:16 Yes.

Joey Diaz 25:17 About some African that's taking money from fucking people, and they keep doing it. It's like a-

Joe Rogan 25:20 Speaking of which, I should probably bring this up. There's a lot of people that are getting emails from a scammer saying that they're being invited onto this podcast.

Joey Diaz 25:29 Yes, they are.

Joe Rogan 25:30 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 25:31 A dear friend of mine keeps asking me, "What the fuck is this about?"

Joe Rogan 25:34 Yeah. Hundreds of people. I, I don't know how many people have been contacted. And it's more than one account that's doing it. And I think it's some sort of a scam to get your Facebook information or some sort of information or credit card information or something. Don't do it.

Joey Diaz 25:48 Don't do it.

Joe Rogan 25:49 Don't do it. We- we will never ask you for anything like that, and if we contact you, it'll be obvious. It's- it's- it's obvious, also, that whoever the person is writing these things, at least in the ones that been sent to me, it seems like English is their second language. They don't seem to know exactly how to phrase things in a way that an American would phrase things. So it's- it seemed a little obvious to me that it was shifty and a lot of- obvi- obvious to a lot of other people, but bunch of people have sent them to me.

Joey Diaz 26:15 Okay, yeah. 'Cause I had one I was gonna show you.

Joe Rogan 26:16 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 26:16 I think I erased it. He sent it to me yesterday. And he was like, "Yeah, ask them. They keep sending me these fucking things. From the Joe Rogan Experience." He doesn't know.

Joe Rogan 26:26 Yeah, it's just scammers. You know, they reach out to you through Instagram or, you know, they find out you follow me or maybe I talked about you on the podcast or maybe something like that, and then next thing you know, you get a letter. Yeah.

Joey Diaz 26:39 You know, uh...

Joe Rogan 26:40 There's scammers out there, man. I mean, the- the Nigerians are the best at it. I mean... (laughs)

Joey Diaz 26:45 That's where, that's where it was invented.

Joe Rogan 26:48 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 26:48 They're the best at it.

Joe Rogan 26:49 How-

Joey Diaz 26:49 They are the best.

Joe Rogan 26:50 When did they first start email scamming people? Probably right after email got invented. Like, when-

Joey Diaz 26:55 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 26:56 ... when was the first Nigerian prince email scams? 'Cause it's always like, "I have all this money, but, uh, I need, like, $1,000 to get it out."

Joey Diaz 27:05 Yeah, $500 to get it out.

Joe Rogan 27:05 "If you help me get it out-"

Joey Diaz 27:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:07 "... you get $10 million." (laughs)

Joey Diaz 27:10 I can't get mad at you for something like that.

Joe Rogan 27:11 Right, right.

Joey Diaz 27:12 'Cause you look at that and you giggle. You look at that and you giggle. Any of that stuff online, you have to look at it. I don't press nothing online. If you send me a fa- a Facebook message and I gotta click on something, I don't click. I don't touch it.

Joe Rogan 27:24 Good.

Joey Diaz 27:24 I don't open the... When that shit starts happening-

Joe Rogan 27:26 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 27:26 ... when things start popping up-

Joe Rogan 27:27 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 27:28 ... that's when I turn off the computer.

Joe Rogan 27:29 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 27:29 I hit a button that I should not fucking hit.

Joe Rogan 27:32 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 27:33 Fuck you. I don't go into any of those things.

Joe Rogan 27:35 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 27:35 Even friends of mine that send me shit, I'm busy.

Joe Rogan 27:38 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 27:39 You know? If you're that smart.

Joe Rogan 27:41 That's smart. Yeah.

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 27:43 They used to do this by letter.

Joe Rogan 27:45 Really?

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 27:46 It's not, I mean, this is not a traditional scam.

Joey Diaz 27:47 When did it start?

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 27:48 The 1900s. They started in the early 1900s.

Joey Diaz 27:50 1910?

Joe Rogan 27:50 Wow. The Nigerians started in the 1900s?

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 27:53 I, I wouldn't know the, I wouldn't say it was then.

Joe Rogan 27:55 1910?

Joey Diaz 27:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:57 The origins of the Nigerian prince scam date back to 1910 when it went by another name, the Spanish prisoner swindle. Oh, back then, victims received a message as a letter in the mail rather than on the internet, but the same basic structure between the two scams remains the sa- be- between both scams remains, scams remain the same. The Spanish prisoner swindle centers around a wealthy foreign nobleman who was in prison for political reasons. The nobleman claims to know the location of a lost treasure (laughs) and that he's willing to share this treasure with the victim. The problem is he's in

Joe Rogan 28:27 prison and needs the victim to send him money so he can bribe his way out. Wow. Interesting. There's always been people like that. But you know what the problem is? The problem is the ave- like, there are people in this country... What did, what was the number that we, we Googled that have a IQ lower than 85? It's pretty high.

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 28:50 It's like 15%.

Joe Rogan 28:51 15%. So imagine, 15% of people that you could basically trick with anything. Get them to join a cult, get them to sign up for some fucking telemarketing swindle.

Joey Diaz 29:01 You think it's IQ or do you think it's...

Joe Rogan 29:04 IQ is interesting, right? Because IQ doesn't necessarily mean intelligence 'cause it depends upon your education. 'Cause some of, uh, the questions in IQ tests are predicated on, uh, a knowledge of math and understanding of, like, how to do equations and certain things that you learn in school. But there's intelligence that is social intelligence, intelligence in terms of being able to see what the problems are in a certain choice you make or what the up benefits are of, of a different choice. There's like, there's people that are strategizers and they're really good at, like, business, they're really good at s- figuring people out, they're really good at figuring themselves out. Sta- there's, there's, there's an intelligence to that. So the problem with IQ, in my mind, is I know a lot of people with very high IQs, but their life is a clumsy mess. So it's like, it really is dependent upon what is the mental horsepower you have? And how are you applying that mental horsepower? Are you Gary Clark Jr and applying that mental horsepower to music?... and you're a genius, but you're a genius in music? Or are you Lex Fridman and you're making, you know, artificial intelligence and working with coding robots? Are you Elon Musk? You're making spaceships. Like, what are you doing with this intelligence? So IQ, (sighs) the, the, there's limitations of it, but at least it's an indicator of how smart a person is. It's an indicator. It's not the pr- it's not the only indicator. There's other factors that I think are much more intangible. They're much harder to, to measure and weigh. That's my take on it. I think it means something.

Joey Diaz 30:53 I think if your parents opened up your eyes, something... Y- you know, it's like I do that bit, and it's true, I really do... I'm mad at my guidance counselor.

Joe Rogan 31:03 Hmm.

Joey Diaz 31:04 I really am, deep down inside, because, you know, he was telling you all about all these job possibilities and college possibilities. But you know what he forgot to tell us? About New York being right across the river and all the possibilities you had over there. I wouldn't have d- I would've done this shit earlier.

Joe Rogan 31:20 You mean standup?

Joey Diaz 31:21 Everything.

Joe Rogan 31:22 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 31:22 I would've tried anything earlier.

Joe Rogan 31:23 The thing is, no one's ever gonna advise that you take the riskiest chance in show business. No one's ever gonna advise that you-

Joey Diaz 31:32 I didn't wanna be a show business guy, but I wish he would've told me. You know, if you wanna take acting lessons, you go to the city.

Joe Rogan 31:37 That's show business.

Joey Diaz 31:37 I didn't know. I didn't know that fucking-

Joe Rogan 31:40 Right.

Joey Diaz 31:40 ... when I'd watch a movie, I thought you just walked on the fucking thing and they gave you a part. That's how stupid I was when I was young.

Joe Rogan 31:45 It's not stupid. It's uninformed, right?

Joey Diaz 31:47 I thought when, when a standup did a special, I thought he just showed up-

Joe Rogan 31:51 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 31:52 ... and had a camera and he goes, "I'm ready."

Joe Rogan 31:54 Right.

Joey Diaz 31:54 And tha- that's what I thought. I didn't think any-

Joe Rogan 31:55 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 31:56 You know, I didn't really know. I'm mad that he didn't open up... I see the kids I grew up with. You gotta see the people around you.

Joe Rogan 32:02 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 32:03 And some of us saw some things and some of us didn't. Some of us saw a, a path that was different than just getting a job and working 40 years and getting a watch, you know?

Joe Rogan 32:14 Uh-huh.

Joey Diaz 32:14 I don't think they opened up our minds to that stuff. Like, there was-

Joe Rogan 32:19 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 32:19 ... a lot of stuff that we didn't... In my house, she would fucking tell... Like, my mother was crazy. When I was sick, she would put a fucking gold chain on me that belonged to a man, and she'd make me put it out. (laughs) And she'd go, "I want you to walk the streets like that so if somebody fucks with you, you, you kn-..." You know, I mean, and I would... Now, I think about these stories and I go, "What was she doing?"

Joe Rogan 32:40 Right, why was she getting you to go outside with a valuable piece of jewelry around your neck-

Joey Diaz 32:44 I remember-

Joe Rogan 32:44 ... as a little kid?

Joey Diaz 32:45 I remember one night, I was getting ice cream on 88th Street and the gold chain was hanging. And when I went to get the, the cone from Mister Softee, he goes, "That's a nice chain." And he looked at it, and my mother was watching from the window. She was like, "Punch him in the fucking face." I'm like, "Eight."

Joe Rogan 32:59 Ah.

Joey Diaz 33:00 I'm like, "Eight, don't let nobody touch your face," like she was... They-

Joe Rogan 33:04 Hmm.

Joey Diaz 33:04 She just did things, you know? Like, "D- don't go in a car with people." Like, just general shit that they've, uh, banged into your fucking head.

Joe Rogan 33:13 Well, that's good. All that stuff's good. I mean, that's-

Joey Diaz 33:16 I was out there.

Joe Rogan 33:17 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 33:17 Like, I was out there every fucking day, you know?

Joe Rogan 33:19 It's different kind of intelligence, right? Street smarts.

Joey Diaz 33:21 Ab- absolutely.

Joe Rogan 33:22 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 33:22 Abso-fucking-lutely, you know?

Joe Rogan 33:23 There's a... And it's also informed. You're informed. You're informed about the dangers of your environment. And some people, if they grow up in the suburbs and they go to really nice schools, they're lost in those environments. They, they don't understand the rules.

Joey Diaz 33:35 Dog, I'm worried about kids today.

Joe Rogan 33:37 You should be.

Joey Diaz 33:38 Listen, m- my... I didn't know this. I just spoke to somebody in my old neighborhood and we were talking about something. They go, "You should see the neighborhood at 2:30. Fucking you can't drive." And I go, "Why?" She goes, "McKinley School," where I went, she goes, "The parents pick them up with cars." I go, "What are you talking about? We walked those streets home." That was just three blocks, it's a block from the-

Joe Rogan 33:59 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 33:59 ... the neighborhood. She goes, "Not anymore. Those kids don't walk those streets at all." And they live right there.

Joe Rogan 34:05 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 34:05 I mean, it's not like across town, like, you know. You gotta get those kids out.

Joe Rogan 34:10 Yeah, they gotta get outta the house, for sure.

Joey Diaz 34:11 We gotta get them out.

Joe Rogan 34:12 How many kids are just at home playing video games all the time too?

Joey Diaz 34:15 Oh, that drives me fucking crazy when my daughter goes knocking on people's door and they're like, "No," while they're inside playing video games. You know it's se- 70 fucking degrees out?

Joe Rogan 34:22 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 34:22 And I just called Mister Softee, he's on his way.

Joe Rogan 34:24 (inhales through teeth)

Joey Diaz 34:25 What the fuck? Yeah, I got Mister Softee's number in my neighborhood.

Joe Rogan 34:27 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 34:28 First time I met him, I gave him an edible and he's like, "Where you at?"

Joe Rogan 34:31 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 34:31 And I told him.

Joe Rogan 34:31 Does it ring? Does it ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding?

Joey Diaz 34:33 Ding-a-ding. But he comes too early. He comes at 4:00. People still didn't... You know, they're still at work. But when that motherfucker comes, Mister Softee, I would give him edibles, g- those ABX edibles-

Joe Rogan 34:42 Uh-huh.

Joey Diaz 34:43 ... and tell him, "Put them in my milkshake."

Joe Rogan 34:45 Dzz, dzz, dzz, dzz.

Joey Diaz 34:47 And he'd blend, dzz, dzz, dzz.

Joe Rogan 34:47 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 34:47 He blended it in the milkshakes. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:50 That's hilarious.

Joey Diaz 34:51 So, you know, intelligence, yeah, like I know a lot of people who are fucking smart, but they make mistakes.

Joe Rogan 35:00 Yeah, they make big decisions.

Joey Diaz 35:01 They-

Joe Rogan 35:01 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 35:01 You go, "What the fuck?"

Joe Rogan 35:03 In your life, you know, relationship decisions, business decisions, yeah, friendship decisions. It's... Intelligence is complicated. It's very complicated. But the point is, some people, their mental horsepower is very low. It's not a matter of what they apply themselves to, it's a matter of they don't have the resources. Their brain doesn't work good. And I've met a lot of people like that, and I know you have too, where you're like, "This guy ain't never gonna be a genius." There's like, there's no inspiration in him. There's nothing enthus-... He doesn't have a thing he's really into, doesn't have a thing he likes. He's just dull. Dull-minded, for whatever reason. I don't know if it's genetics, I don't know if it's the, just a roll of the dice, or maybe the way he was raised? I don't know. But some people just, they don't have a good brain. They just don't. So those guys, when they get that fucking Nigerian prince email, they're like, "This is it. This is my ticket outta here." (laughs) They start fucking scraping up coins, putting quarters in rolls, bringing them to the bank.

Joey Diaz 36:01 I believe in faith. Like, if you're broke and you go put $2 on a pick- a ticket 'cause there's $175 billion... I believe in that. I believe in all that type of stuff, Joe. But-

Joe Rogan 36:13 That's the biggest scam in the world.

Joey Diaz 36:14 What's that?

Joe Rogan 36:14 The lottery.

Joey Diaz 36:16 Well, I'm not talking ... Even when I was a kid, the numbers. It's three numbers.

Joe Rogan 36:19 Yeah. The numbers.

Joey Diaz 36:19 You put $5, you win 2,500 bucks. Okay?

Joe Rogan 36:22 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 36:23 In those small o- you know, in the '70s and '60s, in the Black communities, the Spanish communities-

Joe Rogan 36:30 Italian communities.

Joey Diaz 36:30 ... Italian communities, that's a way of hope.

Joe Rogan 36:32 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 36:33 Your Si- Sicilian grandmother wakes up one morning and says, "Oh my God, I had a dream about peppers."

Joe Rogan 36:39 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 36:39 Okay? Peppers. And all of a sudden, your grandma, her grandmother yells, "Peppers, that's s- 68."

Joe Rogan 36:44 (laughs) Yeah.

Joey Diaz 36:45 You know? And then all of a sudden you're like, put a prefix on it, 568. And, you know, this is your trip to Italy.

Joe Rogan 36:52 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 36:52 This is your trip to buy ... This is your chance to buy your son a car. It's like that little faith that you have.

Joe Rogan 36:57 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 36:58 But it's something that you have a chance at.

Joe Rogan 37:00 It's fun too.

Joey Diaz 37:01 It's fun, you know.

Joe Rogan 37:02 The problem is, the problem ... The same thing is the problem with drinking, the same thing is the problem with everything else, is that people lose their fucking minds.

Joey Diaz 37:09 It's an excess.

Joe Rogan 37:09 And then it becomes everything. I told you about my grandmother, right? With the numbers?

Joey Diaz 37:13 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:13 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 37:14 Wasn't she a loan shark too or something?

Joe Rogan 37:15 She went to jail. My grandmother went to jail for six months 'cause she wouldn't rat out the, the people that were running the numbers.

Joey Diaz 37:20 In New York?

Joe Rogan 37:20 Yeah. Yeah.

Joey Diaz 37:23 Wow.

Joe Rogan 37:23 We'd go to visit grandma. "Where's grandma?" "Grandma's visiting Aunt Josie." (laughs) Like she lived with Aunt Josie for six months. It was ridiculous. Yeah, she was knitting for the fucking guards in prison and she wouldn't rat. They, so they put her away for six months.

Joey Diaz 37:37 For bookmaking.

Joe Rogan 37:37 Yeah, that's what happened.

Joey Diaz 37:38 So those immigrants, those people with dreams-

Joe Rogan 37:41 Mm-hmm. Yep.

Joey Diaz 37:41 ... I see that. But somebody just fucking calling you and going, "Hey, if you lend me $5," or a telev- lant- vangelist, whatever the fuck he's saying.

Joe Rogan 37:49 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joey Diaz 37:49 Look, I'm even like ... And I hate to say this in public, but I'm down on like fucking charities and shit.

Joe Rogan 37:56 Well, that's-

Joey Diaz 37:56 'Cause they don't get the fucking money either, unless you donate to Saint Jude or something like that. Th- th- you know, some guy's driving a BMW.

Joe Rogan 38:03 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 38:03 And the people I sent the money to, ugh, you know. And it's happened to us. We saw it, we gave money and-

Joe Rogan 38:09 Uh-huh.

Joey Diaz 38:09 ... nothing happens. And you're like-

Joe Rogan 38:10 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 38:10 ... "What the fuck, guys?" So now you just give it direct. Have you ever-

Joe Rogan 38:13 You want to know how seeing those charts that show, like, what the, the, the money give, give to charity, how much actually goes to the cause? How much of it is just overhead? It's, in some places-

Joey Diaz 38:25 It's ridiculous.

Joe Rogan 38:25 ... it's like 90%.

Joey Diaz 38:26 It's ridiculous. I used-

Joe Rogan 38:27 So it's like 10% of the money goes to the charity. It's a very inefficient thing. And then you have things where the people that are running it are making enormous salaries. And then they're t- Like, look at the Black Lives Matter thing where the, the girls were buying $6 million houses. Like what the fuck are you doing? What the fuck are you doing? What are you doing? They're like, "Oh, we use this for, uh, uh, uh, y- y- events." (laughs) It's just, that happens with so many charities and so many, uh, charitable organizations. And then there's charitable organizations, like there's foundations that are set up just as tax breaks. So there's like tax breaks involved if you have a foundation that's a charitable foundation that works towards good causes, like maybe climate change or maybe, you know, something along those lines, health, you know, the global health. And then you get involved in that and it's a nice way to avoid paying taxes. You move money around, you put money in the foundation, you kind of move it around. You know, it's these guys that are involved in charitable organizations, the, the thought behind it is beautiful. Like, wouldn't it be great if people donated all this money to charity and we could fix a lot of things? But what you're really doing in a lot of ways is you're pumping up the business of these charities and then they pump up their advertising revenue, they pump up their social media profile, their campaigns, their this, their that. And then they get co-opted. They get co-opted by companies, corporations, pharmaceutical companies, (laughs) different mandates and narratives that they'd like to promote. And next thing you know, charitable organizations are a part of the propaganda machine and it's all being funded by enormous amounts of money. And most of that money does not go to the actual cause itself.

Joey Diaz 40:15 It sucks.

Joe Rogan 40:15 Have you ever seen the charts?

Joey Diaz 40:17 I ... See, don't-

Joe Rogan 40:18 Pull, pull up a chart of what-

Joey Diaz 40:19 I-

Joe Rogan 40:19 ... where the money goes. Try to find out where the m- See if there's a good chart that shows like-

Joey Diaz 40:24 When I was-

Joe Rogan 40:25 ... various, like Red Cross, all these different ones.

Joey Diaz 40:26 I bumped into a nun once when I was going to Catholic school and she told me that when people are looking for you for help, like when they're on the side of the street and they're asking you for help, that that could be Jesus in disguise. So it fucked my world up.

Joe Rogan 40:38 Mm.

Joey Diaz 40:38 So I started donating as a kid. The first person I donated to was the Black kid with the flies on him that they sent you the picture.

Joe Rogan 40:45 Yeah, Silas Struthers.

Joey Diaz 40:46 And he wrote, he wrote a letter and, uh-

Joe Rogan 40:48 Kinnison had that bit about it.

Joey Diaz 40:49 And then I never got nothing after that.

Joe Rogan 40:51 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 40:51 I'm writing letters, nobody's writing me back. I wanted to know if the kid made it through sixth grade.

Joe Rogan 40:56 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 40:56 I was so fucking pissed as a kid. And then I would do the Heart Association walks. Like that was my shit. And trust me, I scammed off the top, I'm not gonna lie to you.

Joe Rogan 41:05 D-

Joey Diaz 41:05 'Cause I would go to my mother's bar and I'd make them give me like 10 bucks a mile. Come on.

Joe Rogan 41:09 Right.

Joey Diaz 41:09 You know, I, I would show up with like $3,000 and think I was a good kid. Finally, like after like the third year, I'm like, "They're gonna get light this year. I'm making 3000 fucking dollars a year."

Joe Rogan 41:18 So look at the Red Cross.

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 41:20 It's gotta be on, I don't know ... We can clear that up.

Joe Rogan 41:23 What's that?

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 41:24 I did on a better website, it's-

Joe Rogan 41:25 That wasn't too bad.

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 41:26 It's pretty small though.

Joe Rogan 41:27 Okay.

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 41:28 Oh shit. I got it.

Joe Rogan 41:29 Uh, let's see what we got here. What percentage?

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 41:32 It's ... So just there.

Joe Rogan 41:35 Okay. So this shows you w- all the money that comes in and how much of it actually goes to programs and how much of it, uh, goes to administration and how much of it goes to fundraising. So Red Cross looks pretty fucking good. Red Cross shows it's like 90% of the money goes to programs. Only 3.5% goes to administrative and 6% goes to, um, fundraising. So this is what we donated to. Remember when we did those shows in San Diego right after the fire? And I'm like, "We can't take money from these people. They just had this massive fire. Let's just donate all the money." So we donated the money-

Joey Diaz 42:14 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 42:14 ... to the Red Cross 'cause that seemed to be the best one. Saint Jude's, 72%. And then it gets ... When you ge- start going down the line, it starts getting sketchy.

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 42:22 Oh these are ... Most of these are f- this one looks like Wounded Warrior.

Joe Rogan 42:25 They're pretty good.

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 42:26 Wounded Warriors.

Joe Rogan 42:26 Wounded Warrior is a little weird.

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 42:28 34% back in the fundraising.

Joe Rogan 42:30 Yeah. But, you know, they still, at least 60% of it or close to 60% of it goes to the actual programs. What's the worst ones though, Jim?

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 42:39 The, the worst ones was a different chart.

Joe Rogan 42:40 These are, this is a different chart. I want to see the worst ones.

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 42:42 Yeah, okay.

Joe Rogan 42:42 ... those are good ones. Red Cross has always been thought of as one of the best ones.

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 42:46 Worst ones, I think.

Joe Rogan 42:47 In terms of the amount of money that actually goes to the cause.

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 42:51 I think. These are mostly UK charities, though. Uh-

Joe Rogan 42:57 Do they have American ones?

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 42:59 Let me check.

Joe Rogan 42:59 Or worldwide ones? Let's see that one.

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 43:05 No, uh-huh. This is, where is it going?

Joe Rogan 43:08 That just shows where, what people are spending on.

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 43:10 How about, uh, worst charities?

Joe Rogan 43:18 The worst in terms of the amount of money that goes towards their cause.

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 43:22 This isn't

Narrator 43:23 I forgot it.

Joe Rogan 43:23 The top 10 worst charities. It says, "Kids Wish Network is number one."

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 43:28 Here's another one.

Joe Rogan 43:29 Disabled Police Officers, 4.4% goes to program expenses and 94% goes to professional fundraising fees. That's crazy. Disabled Police Officers Counseling Center, 94% of it goes to fundraising fees?

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 43:46 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:46 That's bonkers.

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 43:48 These are in New Jersey.

Narrator 43:50 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:50 (laughs) New Jersey.

Joey Diaz 43:51 (laughs)

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 43:51 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:52 Right away you're like, "Oh, okay."

Joey Diaz 43:53 Oh, okay.

Joe Rogan 43:53 "I see what's going on." Look at the Cancer Survivors Fund. Hey, they survived, that's their fucking... That's what they get. 9% goes to programs, 87% goes to fundraising.

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 44:05 And they also just-

Narrator 44:06 (sighs)

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 44:06 ... I think a lot of times they make their names something close to, like, the good one.

Joe Rogan 44:10 Mm-hmm.

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 44:10 Like, there's probably a really good firefighters foundation that's not.

Joe Rogan 44:14 Right. And they call themselves the Firefighters Charitable Foundation.

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 44:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:18 Only 7% goes to the program. 85% goes to professional fundraising fees. What does that even mean, professional fundraising fees? But a lot of them are like that. But you gotta also think, if you're gonna run a charity-

Narrator 44:33 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 44:33 ... you gotta pay people something. Kids Wish Network. Look at this. They raised 127 million, they paid to solicitors 109 million, and they spent... Percentage on direct cash aid to the actual kids is 2.5%.

Narrator 44:50 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 44:50 2.5%. Look at the Cancer Fund of America. Less than 1% went to the actual thing, direct cash aid. But when this is direct cash aid and paid to solicitors, who's the solicitors? Who counts as a solicitor there? Does that mean paid to the organization and then they only pay out that much to the people?

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 45:13 Soliciting costs, that'd be probably trying to buy-

Joe Rogan 45:18 Overhead.

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 45:18 ... fundraising. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:19 It's overhead, it's everything, right?

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 45:20 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 45:20 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 45:21 Yeah. So it's mostly a scam.

Narrator 45:23 A scam.

Joe Rogan 45:23 Look at the fucking International Union of Police Associations. Look at that one.

Joey Diaz 45:27 That's the reason I quit.

Joe Rogan 45:29 Zero... 0.5%.

Joey Diaz 45:31 That's why I quit.

Joe Rogan 45:33 That's crazy.

Joey Diaz 45:33 I worked for the cops. That's when I found out. Three years I worked for the cops, doing donations on the phone after I got arrested. I started in Boulder. And when I went to Seattle, I did it there. And then up in Seattle, I found out what the cops were getting. I'm like-

Joe Rogan 45:49 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 45:49 ... "I'm done, I'm done."

Guest (secondary, unnamed) 45:49 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:50 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 45:50 You give me 50 bucks, I'm giving you a sticker for the back of your cars when you get pulled over. They know-

Joe Rogan 45:55 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 45:56 ... that you donate. And these guys were showing up in Maseratis-

Joe Rogan 45:59 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 45:59 ... every day with two owners. And I'm like, "Fuck you." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:04 (laughs) It's like the thing in LA with the, the homeless. You know-

Joey Diaz 46:08 Fuck you.

Joe Rogan 46:08 Col- Colion Noir sent me here to that. He, he told me they, they were getting, like, six-figure salaries. I'm like, "No way." And then some of them are making 240 grand a year.

Joey Diaz 46:16 Yeah. No, no, no.

Joe Rogan 46:18 Taking care of the homeless.

Joey Diaz 46:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:19 That is not being taken care of. They're not-

Joey Diaz 46:21 No, no.

Joe Rogan 46:21 They're not doing anything about it.

Joey Diaz 46:23 No.

Joe Rogan 46:24 Uh, they just... They have to keep the business rolling too. That's the thing. Once you have 20, 30, 50, whatever people making six figures, all that money keeps coming in. You have all those mouths to feed, all those mortgages, all those pe-... The... Now you have an industry, now you have bureaucracy, and you're never getting that back.

Joey Diaz 46:41 No.

Joe Rogan 46:42 You'd have to have some crazy dude that comes in, like, uh, who's that guy from Argentina? The guy that just became the president of Argentina with the wacky hair? That guy's amazing. (laughs)

Joey Diaz 46:51 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:51 He's like, "Everybody out! Everybody out!" He kicked out everybody. He cut that budget down to nothing.

Joey Diaz 46:59 Nothing.

Joe Rogan 47:00 Yeah. He got rid of all the bullshit. All the bullshit.

Joey Diaz 47:04 Tru- it's really crazy when I worked for the cops. I would... You know, I loved it. It was great. I had a great time in that office. I'd be up there smoking dope, but-

Joe Rogan 47:12 With the cops?

Joey Diaz 47:13 Nah, it was like one cop there. He didn't give a fuck.

Joe Rogan 47:16 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 47:17 "I'm over here raising money for you." But even he was on the scam. You know?

Joe Rogan 47:21 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 47:21 It's like it... Come on, man.

Joe Rogan 47:22 When you have money that's being donated, like cash that's being donated-

Joey Diaz 47:26 Come on, man. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:26 ... it's just, it's gonna get moved around.

Joey Diaz 47:29 It's like, you gotta help these fucking people out, you know?

Joe Rogan 47:32 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 47:32 And look at now, you, you go... When I came from Cuba, when I was a little kid, to learn how to do anything, the reason why I learned how to do anything was pe- because of the Police Athletic League. I swear to God.

Joe Rogan 47:46 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 47:47 Everything. Shooting, fishing in Central Park, boxing program. You know, you shot pool. Who do you think taught me how to p- shoot pool?

Joe Rogan 47:54 Really? Police Athletic League?

Joey Diaz 47:55 The cops. Yeah, right on there on 88th-

Joe Rogan 47:57 Wow.

Joey Diaz 47:57 ... and Amsterdam.

Joe Rogan 47:58 It's a smart move.

Joey Diaz 47:59 So I was always indebted to those people.

Joe Rogan 48:01 Hmm.

Joey Diaz 48:01 Always in my heart, because I was a Spanish kid, they took me in over there, they fingerprinted me. They take you to the precinct, you shoot a 22, they give you the target.

Joe Rogan 48:11 Oh, wow.

Joey Diaz 48:11 With your little thing, they give you, like, a little badge, you know, and you're like, "Ah." And so I always wanted to work for them, like that was it. I always... You know, and then after I got in trouble, I'm like, "You know, I owe them a debt. They were f- very good to me." I was, I was the guy that fucked up. So I always worked for the cops. I always tried to don-... You know, get fucking people to donate the stickers or, you know, uh, bulletproof vests and all that shit. And then we would do comedy at the benefits in Seattle. Even though I got arrested six times, it never worked.

Joe Rogan 48:40 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 48:40 They didn't fucking do anything for me.

Joe Rogan 48:41 Well, maybe you would've got arrested a lot worse.

Joey Diaz 48:43 A lot worse.

Joe Rogan 48:44 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 48:44 But it's crazy. When I found out, I was like, "I'm out."... I'm not doing this. And now, I'm... You know, you wanna help out, something happens, hurricane relief, and you're like, "I'm not."

Joe Rogan 48:54 Right.

Joey Diaz 48:55 I'm not doing it.

Joe Rogan 48:56 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 48:56 I'm not doing it because it's, you know... (liquid sloshing)

Joe Rogan 49:00 Right.

Joey Diaz 49:00 And you feel like shit. I'd rather see somebody give them a 20. Some guy is hungry.

Joe Rogan 49:05 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 49:06 Just go give him a 20. I'm not giving him leftover food or whatever. Just give the guy a 20, make him his own decisions. If he wants to snort it or buy fentanyl, go, I don't give a fuck. You know, it's not my problem, but I did my job.

Joe Rogan 49:16 The Red Cross seems like a good one. But also, wasn't the Red Cross one of the people that was helping people map out the way to illegally enter the US? Wasn't that, uh, one of the things that the Red Cross was doing? Google that. But that could be also that the Red Cross is a legitimate charitable organization and it realizes that these people are gonna do this no matter what, and show them the way to do it that's safe. If they're gonna do it, they're gonna do it. I mean-

Joey Diaz 49:45 They're gonna do it.

Joe Rogan 49:45 ... showing them the way that's safe, to me, seems like, you know, like almost an ethical thing to do if you know that this is happening. And then providing them aid along the way so they don't die, that seems like... You know. The whole immigration thing is very complicated, you know. You came from immigrants, I came from immigrants or my grandparents were immigrants. But it's just the way they're doing it, where anybody can get through is so (laughs) wild. So the Red Cross has provided maps to migrants, uh, traveling towards the US border. Now what is their reasoning? Is the Red Cross giving maps to migrants? The map on their social media is real. Different versions have existed since at least 2018 and some have been distributed by the International Committee of the Red Cross. The ICRC is a consortium of Red Cross agencies including the American Red Cross. The map is a part of an informational safety pamphlet provided by aid organizations including the National Red Cross Societies to migrants traveling to Central America. The pamphlet also includes resource information like where to find food, shelter, and medical assistance. While the map has been around since at least 2018, American Red Cross partnered with the Mexican Red Cross and others during the COVID-19 pandemic to prom- to promote these safety materials. The Red Cross logos appeared across the top of the map. The American Red Cross logo was removed in 2022 after their COVID-19 partnership expired. The current pamphlet containing the map shows the current partners or the National Red Cross Societies of Mexico, Guatemala, Honduras, and El Salvador. It does not seek to encourage or discourage migration but rather to contribute to migrating the vulnerability f- mitigating the vulnerability factors of this population during the migratory route. That's what we're saying.

Joey Diaz 51:42 I can live with that, Joe.

Joe Rogan 51:42 I can live with that, too.

Joey Diaz 51:42 I can live with that. That's fair.

Joe Rogan 51:43 Yeah, that's not encouraging people to do it, that's saying they're doing it, let's, let's make it so they at least... They have, like, a safe way to do it.

Joey Diaz 51:50 Listen, man. It, this migrant situation has turned everything around. From New York City, Chicago, LA-

Joe Rogan 51:57 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 51:58 ... they're in everywhere, you know. And yeah, tax money in New York is giving you $10,000 now on ATM card, right? They give you $10,000 for your migrant.

Joe Rogan 52:06 Something along those lines, yeah.

Joey Diaz 52:08 You know, and, and... I don't know.

Joe Rogan 52:11 Um-

Joey Diaz 52:11 There's a lot to say, like, you know, look at our fucking vets, how they get treated, look, you know.

Joe Rogan 52:18 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 52:19 So-

Joe Rogan 52:20 I'm gonna send you this, Jamie. See what's going on in Paris? They, uh, they started... They were trying to kick these dudes out, uh, of the country and they started a riot at the airport. (laughs)

Joey Diaz 52:30 Who were they trying to kick out?

Joe Rogan 52:32 Uh, illegal immigrants. I'll show you. Jamie, I just sent it to you. Yeah, and they're like, "No, we're not going." They're like, "You have to go, there's too many of you." They're like, "No, fuck you, we're not flying," and they started a riot at the airport. They were trying to deport them. And they're like, "Uh-uh, we're here." (laughs)

Joey Diaz 52:50 Listen, all I remember is one thing, Joe, and I used this and I'm not saying nothing bad about anybody. I was-

Joe Rogan 52:55 Look at this. Give me the volume.

Narrator 52:57 (people shouting)

Joe Rogan 53:01 It's a full on donnybrook at the airport. They're beating up attendants, security guys are getting fucked up.

Narrator 53:20 (people shouting)

Joe Rogan 53:20 (laughs) It's just wild shit, man.

Joey Diaz 53:22 So they got them over there too?

Joe Rogan 53:24 They're try-... Yeah, they have a lot, a lot, a lot of migrants in Europe. Yeah, it's, uh, it's basically it happened right after the pandemic in mass. It just... Massive amounts of migrants in Europe, massive amounts of migrants here. It's almost like it's on purpose. If it's not on purpose, what a coincidence.

Joey Diaz 53:45 But it just-

Joe Rogan 53:45 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 53:46 It seemed like there just wasn't migrants coming in but what I was telling you before was, I think I told you last time, I saw what the Mariel boatlift did to my area, Hudson County. Not in 1979, but I saw it five years later, and then I saw what they were doing in San Francisco. When I got to San Francisco in '95, there was a huge Cuban population. When they were d-

Joe Rogan 54:09 San Francisco?

Joey Diaz 54:10 (clears throat)

Joe Rogan 54:10 So this is the people that took off-

Joey Diaz 54:12 From Mariel, in '78, '79.

Joe Rogan 54:14 This is when Fidel kicked them out?

Joey Diaz 54:16 Yes. He kicked out 160,000 people. We didn't have records on these people, so we didn't really know what they were about.

Joe Rogan 54:24 Right.

Joey Diaz 54:24 They could just tell you-

Joe Rogan 54:25 Right.

Joey Diaz 54:25 ... "I worked in construction." You know, and they didn't know. So this is that but 10 times-

Joe Rogan 54:33 Right.

Joey Diaz 54:34 That was 100,000 people, 100, 200,000. This is eight million or something like that.

Joe Rogan 54:39 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 54:39 Right? That's come through.

Joe Rogan 54:40 At least.

Joey Diaz 54:41 You're not gonna feel this today. You're gonna feel this five years from now.

Joe Rogan 54:45 Well, they could feel it real soon, depending upon who the people are and why they're here.... you know, the, the most, uh, troubling version is sleeper cells. The most troubling version is-

Joey Diaz 54:56 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 54:56 ... that there's military cells that exist here, terror cells.

Joey Diaz 55:00 The Chinese are coming in-

Joe Rogan 55:01 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 55:01 And now they're growing weed.

Joe Rogan 55:03 Are they? Chinese?

Joey Diaz 55:05 Jamie, go to the videotape.

Joe Rogan 55:07 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 55:08 Chinese are buying farms. You just had somebody on here that was talking about the Chinese are buying farms here.

Joe Rogan 55:15 Yes, they're definitely buying farms.

Joey Diaz 55:16 What do you think they're doing with those fucking farms? Raising fucking sushi? No.

Joe Rogan 55:21 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 55:21 They're fucking growing reefer.

Joe Rogan 55:23 Department of Homeland Security memo, first reported by the Daily Caller, received as a part of the Freedom of Information Act request, said that more than 270 unlicensed cannabis cultivation sites in Maine were operated by Chinese nationals.

Joey Diaz 55:37 Who the fuck you think you're dealing with, Joe? Bananas.

Joe Rogan 55:39 Wow. 275 grow-ops in Maine?

Joey Diaz 55:42 (coughs) And the weed is on fire up there in New Hampshire.

Joe Rogan 55:46 Is it?

Joey Diaz 55:46 New H- they say that's the best weed right now, New Hampshire.

Joe Rogan 55:49 Really? New Hampshire?

Joey Diaz 55:51 Somewhere up there. New Hampshire, Maine.

Joe Rogan 55:53 Maine?

Joey Diaz 55:53 They say the weed is so fucking strong.

Joe Rogan 55:56 Mm. Hmm.

Joey Diaz 56:01 See that?

Joe Rogan 56:02 Look at that.

Joey Diaz 56:03 Yeah. They're growing fucking reefer.

Joe Rogan 56:05 So what is the legalization of weed in Maine? Is it legal there?

Joey Diaz 56:11 Not sure, brother. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:12 It's legal in so many states now.

Joey Diaz 56:14 Yeah. Yeah. Maine, New Hampshire, I think.

Joe Rogan 56:18 How much cannabis can I possess? Adults 21 years of age or older can possess up to 2.5 ounces of a combination of cannabis, cannabis concentrate, and cannabis products, including no more than five grams of cannabis concentrate. How many plants can I grow? Mainers can grow cannabis for personal use. That's reasonable. (phone ringing) Is that your phone?

Joey Diaz 56:40 No.

Joe Rogan 56:40 Something's ringing. That's you, bro. (laughs) It's ringing like a phone-phone. (laughs) You get the old school ring on there.

Joey Diaz 56:52 Holy shit.

Joe Rogan 56:53 You pick that? Yeah. (laughs) Yeah, and Jersey's buck wild, right?

Joey Diaz 57:02 What do you mean?

Joe Rogan 57:03 With weed.

Joey Diaz 57:05 I just started going to weed stores in January. I said, "You know what? I got- I'm done with laughing gas. I gotta expand my horizons, see what's out there." And the first one I went to was in Neptune, and they're pretty impressive. It's big fucking joint, I forget the name of it, but it was pretty impressive. Second place I went is 15 minutes from my house, Joe, right by the doctor's office in Freehold. Holy shit. And that's when I discovered rhythm, because I was like, "Listen, I'm here to see the devil."

Joe Rogan 57:35 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 57:35 I don't want none of that Jersey fucking swank.

Joe Rogan 57:38 Look-

Joey Diaz 57:38 You know? And it's... Everything's in containers, it's completely different, you know?

Joe Rogan 57:43 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 57:43 And they got... I got this Rhythm, 36%.

Joe Rogan 57:46 Jesus.

Joey Diaz 57:47 And I'm like, "This is me, dog."

Narrator 57:49 This is all from the- per the (clears throat) , I guess this is... What is this? Affidavit for probable cause? Read-

Joey Diaz 57:55 From where?

Narrator 57:56 From the, the China, the Chinese thing in, uh, the Chinese immigrants in Maine.

Joe Rogan 58:00 It says, "We are in prison. Please, please come and save us. We are here." And it gives the address. Uh, "No cell phones. We were abducted from China. Passports were confiscated. The boss is a woman, five foot two, about 45 years old, no means of transportation. The manager is Asian, black hair, five foot six. Lot of marijuana is grown on the first floor. A lot of finished products. No escape from the house. Only work, but no salary. I want to leave here. We tried to escape but failed. We were beaten. Please come and save us." Whoa.

Narrator 58:31 (scoffs) Fuck.

Joe Rogan 58:33 So they got slaves working making the weed-

Joey Diaz 58:36 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 58:36 ... in Maine. Yeah, Shanghaied.

Narrator 58:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:41 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 58:42 And that shit's strong.

Narrator 58:43 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 58:43 That's the shit that the Boeing mechanics are smoking.

Joe Rogan 58:45 Isn't that crazy that there's-

Joey Diaz 58:46 It's fucking crazy.

Joe Rogan 58:47 ... there's slaves in America right now, growing weed for China?

Joey Diaz 58:52 Let's see where this is gonna go.

Joe Rogan 58:54 (sighs)

Joey Diaz 58:54 It's fucking interesting.

Joe Rogan 58:55 That's crazy.

Joey Diaz 58:56 I saw this a couple weeks ago. I read the article, I'm like, "Oh." And then that guy said it on your podcast, and I'm like...

Joe Rogan 59:02 Well, he said about farmland, yeah.

Joey Diaz 59:03 Farmland.

Joe Rogan 59:03 But I, I didn't know it was happening like that.

Joey Diaz 59:05 The fuck you think they're doing? Growing fucking bean sprouts or soy sprouts? They're going for it, Jack.

Joe Rogan 59:11 Well, they're controlling farmland that's around military bases. That's what's scary.

Joey Diaz 59:14 And, and, and a lot of Chinese were coming through the border with these guys.

Joe Rogan 59:18 Mm-hmm. Yeah, military age.

Joey Diaz 59:20 A lot of Chinese.

Joe Rogan 59:21 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 59:22 So let's see where this hand is getting played.

Joe Rogan 59:24 Not only a lot of Chinese, but they have Chinese stops where you can go and everybody speaks Chinese along the way, and they have a Chinese restaurant. Everything's written in Chinese, Chinese signs everywhere. So they have like a very specific organized route to get to America. And these guys are all young, fit guys coming to America. Like, "What are you doing?" Like, "What the fuck is going on here?" We're just basically sitting ducks.

Joey Diaz 59:49 We're waiting.

Joe Rogan 59:50 Yeah, we're sitting ducks, and there was a big warning today. Um, Homeland Security is warning about terrorist attacks in America. That's what scares me about this fucking election too. I'm not... sh- I'm not saying that they would do this, but I'm not... I definitely think they have in the past, like allowed things to happen just so that they can tighten up on restrictions and laws, and scare people more, and get people to vote one way or another.

Joey Diaz 1:00:22 We're looking at-

Joe Rogan 1:00:23 Scary shit.

Joey Diaz 1:00:24 We're looking at weird times, my friend.

Joe Rogan 1:00:26 The weirdest, right?

Joey Diaz 1:00:27 The fucking weirdest.

Joe Rogan 1:00:28 And ever in your life could you ever imagine things would be so bizarre as they are right now?

Joey Diaz 1:00:33 They've been bizarre for about five years now where you just can't believe the shit you're hearing-

Joe Rogan 1:00:37 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:00:37 ... and you just say, "You know what? I'm gonna stick to my camp. I'm good here."

Joe Rogan 1:00:42 It was bizarre in 2017, but it wasn't bizarre like now.

Joey Diaz 1:00:46 No. This is something different.

Joe Rogan 1:00:47 This is, this is insane.

Joey Diaz 1:00:48 Diddy getting arrested. I mean, just-

Joe Rogan 1:00:50 Just-

Joey Diaz 1:00:51 ... just everything.

Joe Rogan 1:00:51 Everything.

Joey Diaz 1:00:51 There's a bridge getting hit.

Joe Rogan 1:00:53 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:00:53 It's something every fucking week.

Joe Rogan 1:00:55 Every day.

Joey Diaz 1:00:56 You know, Trump, 480 million.

Joe Rogan 1:00:58 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:00:59 You know, they need it by Monday. I mean, it's just fucking... (laughs) I thought Mark Cuban would bail him out. I didn't know. Who the fuck was gonna bail him out.

Joe Rogan 1:01:07 Yeah, how does that work? I think they knocked it down to $175 billion. They asked him, how was he gonna pay it? He goes, "Cash."

Joey Diaz 1:01:13 And now he's worth six point something billion because of the-

Joe Rogan 1:01:16 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:01:16 ... social deal.

Joe Rogan 1:01:17 Right.

Joey Diaz 1:01:18 It's all stock, I guess.

Joe Rogan 1:01:19 Right. The, the whole thing ... (sighs) I'm not a financial guy, obviously, but I think it ... The whole thing is liquidity. How much money are y- do you actually have coming in? And how much is it tied up in real estate investments and holdings? And Trump's got buildings and hotels and resorts and da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. It's a lot, lot going on. How the fuck can he pay attention to all that shit? Can you imagine running some kind of a business empire trying to pay attention to everything?

Joey Diaz 1:01:47 Dog, I met him when he was fucking had a football team.

Joe Rogan 1:01:50 Really?

Joey Diaz 1:01:50 Yeah. He owned the fucking Generals. That's how I knew Herschel Walker and those people. That's how I met those dudes.

Joe Rogan 1:01:57 When was this?

Joey Diaz 1:01:58 Fucking '85. Trump owned the-

Joe Rogan 1:01:59 You met Trump in '85?

Joey Diaz 1:02:00 A long time ago.

Joe Rogan 1:02:01 What was he like in '85?

Joey Diaz 1:02:02 Hello. Goodbye. I don't fucking know. It's not like we hung out.

Joe Rogan 1:02:05 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 1:02:06 I was scared of him.

Joe Rogan 1:02:08 Why?

Joey Diaz 1:02:08 Because it was like a ... I told you when I got outta jail, I was supposed to have a job selling siding and doors and saddles and electrical equipment, an indoor salesman in Jersey. And when I got outta prison, I go, "I'm out. Can I come take the job now?" And he goes, "I can't. We're going outta business." And I go, "What happened?" He goes, "Trump put in a ... Built something. He was going to these little hardware stores like ours, told us to go fuck ourselves. We're done." I knew this in '88.

Joe Rogan 1:02:38 What do you mean?

Joey Diaz 1:02:40 (sighs) At that time, supposedly he would build something. It's like, it's like you coming to somebody, uh, at his little restaurant and going, "I wanna build my own fucking steak." And you know, he would go to people and say, "I'm gonna build this and then use your lumber." Or whatever the fuck.

Joe Rogan 1:02:57 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 1:02:57 And since there's so much with contractors, there's subcontractors and subcontractors, they would stiff their bills. They weren't paying their bills.

Joe Rogan 1:03:05 Really?

Joey Diaz 1:03:06 Yeah. This went on in our life. You can look it up. This isn't something ... You know. And that's all I remember from Trump. I met him in '85 and I fucking ... That was my only thing with Trump. You know, if you're from New York, you know who he is. You've been hearing the name growing up.

Joe Rogan 1:03:22 Yeah, I remember hearing about this from you actually now. You were telling me that there was a ... With contractors.

Joey Diaz 1:03:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:30 Stiff small contractors.

Joey Diaz 1:03:31 Small contractors and then we would go downhill.

Joe Rogan 1:03:33 Hmm.

Joey Diaz 1:03:34 You know, we'd run downhill. So, now I gave you all the doors I had for your project. Trump just wasn't building one house with one window. I'm giving you everything on the arm. Yeah, you gave me a deposit. Maybe sometimes not. Maybe I'm so excited to do business with Trump, I got such a small place that I forget everything. You know, whatever the fuck happens.

Joe Rogan 1:03:54 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:03:56 Yeah. So that's what happened in '88. I, I mean, I don't know the whole story, but he mentioned Trump. That's all I remember from that fucking guy.

Joe Rogan 1:04:04 Hmm. I would also imagine if you're doing some big projects like that, there's probably a lot of people involved.

Joey Diaz 1:04:10 Lot of people.

Joe Rogan 1:04:10 Making decisions.

Joey Diaz 1:04:11 A building?

Joe Rogan 1:04:12 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:04:12 A building.

Joe Rogan 1:04:13 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:04:13 He's the GC. He takes bids for everything else, right? That's how it usually works.

Joe Rogan 1:04:18 Is that what Trump does as a real estate developer?

Joey Diaz 1:04:20 I, I don't know how it goes down, but there's a GC, a general contractor, and then there's, uh, windows, wiring, you know, all the different departments.

Joe Rogan 1:04:28 Uh-huh.

Joey Diaz 1:04:29 You don't know what everybody's doing.

Joe Rogan 1:04:31 Right.

Joey Diaz 1:04:31 You got 20 people in your fucking building.

Joe Rogan 1:04:33 Right.

Joey Diaz 1:04:34 The, the ... You know, when you built the comedy club, how many people were fucking there every day?

Joe Rogan 1:04:38 Yeah, a lot.

Joey Diaz 1:04:39 You don't know.

Joe Rogan 1:04:40 Right.

Joey Diaz 1:04:41 You don't know. You're not a contractor, so you don't know if they're doing the wall right. You know, you just trust, whatever. So I ... This is all I remember. That was it.

Joe Rogan 1:04:49 Hmm. Yeah. Well, the, the whole construction business was always shady and it was always tied up with the mob. Like, I knew a couple guys who had, uh, no jo- no show up jobs.

Joey Diaz 1:05:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:01 Like at the Javits Center.

Joey Diaz 1:05:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:03 Just, you just get paid.

Joey Diaz 1:05:04 Concrete.

Joe Rogan 1:05:05 Yep.

Joey Diaz 1:05:06 They own concrete. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:07 That was the thing. The mob would make deals whenever any sort of job was getting done, they'd have a certain amount of no-show jobs for their guys.

Joey Diaz 1:05:15 Always.

Joe Rogan 1:05:15 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:05:16 Always. That's part ... And then you get insurance.

Joe Rogan 1:05:18 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 1:05:19 And that's why when you, when you arrest those guys and you go, "What do you do for a living?" "I'm in the carpenters union."

Joe Rogan 1:05:23 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:05:24 Carpenters union. You don't even know what an inch is.

Joe Rogan 1:05:26 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:05:26 You don't know how to measure six inches, you fuck.

Joe Rogan 1:05:29 Yeah. Yeah, it was a scam, but it was how they avoided taxes too, right? 'Cause taxes help what's, what brought a lot of them down. That's what brought Al Capone down, tax evasion.

Joey Diaz 1:05:38 Tax evasion.

Joe Rogan 1:05:39 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:05:40 But the other guys were pretty smart. They had that ... The, the millionaire club, the bid club. They would only do $2 million bids or something. They would take $2 million right off the top, the mob, on every job. Are you fucking kidding me?

Joe Rogan 1:05:54 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 1:05:55 Just ... Are you kidding me? Every job in New York ... You know, it's well known that when the little guy from Arizona who was over there with Gotti, he controlled construction. Like that was his fucking thing, you know.

Joe Rogan 1:06:06 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:06:06 You couldn't get anything built without that fucking dude.

Joe Rogan 1:06:08 Can you imagine if you live in New York City at that time and you're trying to build buildings and you gotta do deals with the mob and you gotta do deals with Sammy the Bull?

Joey Diaz 1:06:18 Well, here's the deal. Like I remember in '80, '90, I was roofing and the company was from Jersey and my brother-in-laws. And I asked him, you know, "Why'd you pick up this job?" And he was telling me, "It's just so difficult." And I go, "What do you mean?" He goes, "Take the dumpster." That dumpster that they pick up every day and take off and they bring another one?

Joe Rogan 1:06:37 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 1:06:37 In Colorado at the time, it was $200. That same dumpster in New York was $2,000 a day. That's how inflated the prices were. $1,800 different.

Joe Rogan 1:06:49 Phew.

Joey Diaz 1:06:50 It's fucking crazy. That's what the cost of doing fucking construction, you know, in New York.

Joe Rogan 1:06:55 Wow. Well, it was always a corrupt town. Like that's why it took the UFC forever-

Joey Diaz 1:07:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:01 ... to get into New York.

Joey Diaz 1:07:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:03 It was-

Joey Diaz 1:07:03 You gotta, you gotta pay the right ... Look at these people waiting for licenses.

Joe Rogan 1:07:06 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:07:06 I know people in Jersey waiting for a license since I landed. I got a license.

Joe Rogan 1:07:11 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 1:07:12 ... you gotta grease 80 fuck- fucking people. 80 people. You gotta know people, pay, it's ... I know companies that are still waiting for a license from LA. They just thought they were gonna come and apply in New Jersey or in New York City. Look at New York City. They had a thing, they were giving licenses only to people who had felonies. Did you remember that? In New York, they wanted ... The ideal, uh, mari- medical marijuana owner is an ex-convict who went to prison or got in trouble for marijuana. This is his second chance. Check it out. It's fucking insane. Can't get a license in New Jersey.

Joe Rogan 1:07:48 That is kinda crazy, but they should do something for those poor fucks that went to jail for weed. Nobody should ever went to jail for weed.

Joey Diaz 1:07:56 No.

Joe Rogan 1:07:57 It's ridiculous.

Joey Diaz 1:07:58 No.

Joe Rogan 1:07:59 It's a ridiculous thing to put people in jail for. And you put-

Joey Diaz 1:08:01 Look at what-

Joe Rogan 1:08:01 ... people in a cage for that while, especially while everything else is okay. Don't make any sense.

Joey Diaz 1:08:07 Look what you're finding out now. Look at this guide to that. I got in the Uber fresh out of smoking a fucking joint of this shit this morning. Thank God the guy was Cuban. When he ... They send you the Uber name-

Joe Rogan 1:08:18 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:08:18 ... the guy's name was Antonio. I go, "He's Cuban." Got in the car, I was in the car two minutes, he goes, ƒy lo que est* fumando, co*o!

Joe Rogan 1:08:26 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:08:27 He goes, "What is that shit?" And I just gave him the canister, I go, "Smell this." He's like, "Wow."

Joe Rogan 1:08:31 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:08:32 And this is a guy that's been in this country for 10 years. And he said to me, "You know, I don't know what the fuss is about this. This is a magical herb."

Joe Rogan 1:08:40 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:08:40 People don't realize, when you smoke this, pains go away, you start thinking clearer. He goes, "It takes time." And this is a fucking Uber driver telling me this shit.

Joe Rogan 1:08:48 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:08:49 And I asked him, "How do you know about this stuff?" He goes, "In Cuba, we're growing weed."

Joe Rogan 1:08:53 Really?

Joey Diaz 1:08:53 But it was outdoor weed. You couldn't get ... Wasn't that strong, and sometimes they bring it from Jamaica. That's what he was saying. We were getting Cuba weed from Jamaica, because you know ... I mean, the soil is done in Cuba.

Joe Rogan 1:09:05 Really?

Joey Diaz 1:09:06 Well, they're complaining about cigars. These cigars aren't tasting the same. They said-

Joe Rogan 1:09:10 Oh, really?

Joey Diaz 1:09:10 ... the fucking soil has just been abused. There's no nourishment.

Joe Rogan 1:09:14 Right.

Joey Diaz 1:09:15 This guy was telling me today, it costs more for a pack of chicken in Cuba than what it does in the United States. A gallon of gas costs more in, in Cuba than what it does right here now, here in Austin.

Joe Rogan 1:09:26 Well, it makes sense. I mean, it makes sense, you, y- you have to have infrastructure, you have to have capitalism, you have to have people competing. Th- that whole communism thing doesn't work. And the thing is like, the thing, thing that the people that love communism point to, they're like, "Yeah, but we put an embargo on Cuba. Like, what if we didn't do that? Like, what ..." Yeah. It's still a dictatorship. Like, you, you-

Joey Diaz 1:09:49 It still is.

Joe Rogan 1:09:49 You get told what you're doing with your life. You don't want that. Nobody wants that. You might think that that is better because there's no rich people. If that's what you're thinking, well, you're missing everything, because that means everybody's poor. You don't want everybody to be poor. You want everybody to have a chance to be well off. That's what you have here. Now, some people, they get a bad roll of the dice, they get a bad hand of cards, they get a bad situation in life, they get a bad place that they live, and they're fucked. Th- this is true, and it's not fair. It's not fair in terms of equal opportunity. It's not. But in terms of opportunity, there's no place better than right here, and there's no place better with actual capitalism. You can do great things. You can do great things not just for you, but for other people. You can do great things if y- people give you the freedom to do, do great things. But if you (laughs) live in a socialist country, you don't have any of that. You don't get to decide what you do. The state gets to decide. And how do they enforce that? There's only one way. Force. Military. There's only one way to in- get people to follow the rules of communism and socialism, and it's always a dictatorship. It's always one group has all the money and all the power, and they tell you what the fuck you're gonna do. And if you don't do it, they kill you or they lock you up in jail. And they threaten people and they scare people and they make people disappear so everybody stays in line. And that is what people always do whenever you get a communist country. The ... If you w- ask any of these wacky kids in colleges, "Give me an example of socialism that works?" They'll give you, like, socialist programs or countries, like some Norwegian countries that have a lot of socialist programs that are really good countries. They have r- really good healthcare, really good education. You're tax ... You pay a lot in taxes, but it goes a long way, and they have a better society because of it. That's great. But they still have the freedom to do whatever the fuck they wanna do. They still have the freedom to, to do whatever kinda op- occupations they want. You have, you have the ability to make a shitload of money. You have the ability to excel. The problem is people want a quality of outcome when they don't have anything, but you're never gonna have that, because first of all, it's impossible, but second of all, because you're never gonna have a quality of effort. And one of the things that a competitive environment or a place like America where you have freedom is, some people put more into life. They put more into the things they do, and they get more back. They get more out of it, and they're inspiring to other people to do the same, and you see them live a rich and fulfilled life, and you're inspired to do the same. That's not happening in Cuba, bro. (laughs) That is not happening.

Joey Diaz 1:12:31 No. No.

Joe Rogan 1:12:31 That's not happening-

Joey Diaz 1:12:32 No.

Joe Rogan 1:12:32 ... in any of these communist countries.

Joey Diaz 1:12:33 No.

Joe Rogan 1:12:33 Go to North Korea, tell me, ask me how it worked out when they made a deal to take over all the farms so that no one would ever go hungry, let the state control everything. What a great idea. Everybody give up your farm to the state. Now you're fucked. Now you're fucked.

Joey Diaz 1:12:48 That's the beauty, you know, as somebody who knew that other side, not from living it, but just from hearing the stories, it makes you appreciate this so much more.

Joe Rogan 1:12:58 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:12:59 That ... Listen, you could, you could fall into place in this country where you don't need a ceiling over your income. This is the, the greatest thing about this country. It's like when I first got out there, I always worked on commission, Joe.I don't want your hourly wage. Shove that up your fucking ass. I'm gonna come here and prove myself. You want me to sell cars? I'll sell cars. Want me to sell doors or signs? I'll sell them, but I'm doing it on commission. I want the most that I could get for that fucking thing.

Joe Rogan 1:13:28 Right.

Joey Diaz 1:13:29 Most people don't... I did that at, uh, 19. I knew for me it was gonna be commission work.

Joe Rogan 1:13:35 Yeah. And it's a dangerous choice.

Joey Diaz 1:13:37 It's a dangerous choice, but it's based on you.

Joe Rogan 1:13:39 Right. Exactly.

Joey Diaz 1:13:40 With the effort you put into it.

Joe Rogan 1:13:41 Exactly.

Joey Diaz 1:13:42 If you wanna sell... When, when I worked at Foot Locker, I was the number one fucking sneaker dude at Foot Locker.

Joe Rogan 1:13:48 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:13:48 You know, and it took me a while, but I fucking went, you know?

Joe Rogan 1:13:51 Right.

Joey Diaz 1:13:52 And then when I started selling cars, again, I went for it, because I loved it. I learned about salesmanship. I learned about-

Joe Rogan 1:13:59 Effort.

Joey Diaz 1:13:59 ... human nature.

Joe Rogan 1:14:00 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:14:00 I learned that you have to mail letters to people. Those are the guys, I know they're not gonna buy a car, but if you send 100 letters, three people have to buy a fucking car.

Joe Rogan 1:14:08 Hmm.

Joey Diaz 1:14:09 So you're working on all numbers, you know?

Joe Rogan 1:14:11 Right.

Joey Diaz 1:14:11 The United States is a beautiful fucking place, because a guy like me could write a book. Think about that.

Joe Rogan 1:14:21 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:14:21 You know, a guy like me could... You know, went to prison, had... I mean, you know, I didn't get Social Security when my mother died 'cause she worked under a fucking alias. You know, everything got beat up on me. But let me tell you what's going, about to happen. I'm gonna retire when I'm 65, collect Social Security, and my daughter gets Social Security now for three years, which is like $1,800 a month for college or whatever the fuck, you know?

Joe Rogan 1:14:43 Right.

Joey Diaz 1:14:44 I don't give a fuck. So it all came out in the wash 40 years fucking later. I didn't have the Social Security for me because my mom used the alias. But what I'm... My point is, dawg, you can do whatever you fucking want. And you saw it, Joe.

Joe Rogan 1:14:56 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:14:56 You... We were talking about today. Kids were coming down here with cars, living in their cars, and look what they're doing now. Because they believed in themselves, you gave them a fucking door, and they fucking took it. Most people are still now like, "Well, my agent said nothing's gonna happen to me." Okay. You know, it's the same thing. Some people take chances. Some people sit there waiting for the bluebird of happiness.

Joe Rogan 1:15:19 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:15:19 That's the