Joe Rogan Experience #2131 - Brian Simpson

1. 0:00 – 0:39

   Brian Simpson’s Netflix special and the Comedy Mothership milestone

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

   2. BSBrian Simpson0:04

      The Joe Rogan Experience.

   3. NANarrator0:06

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music)

   4. BSBrian Simpson0:13

      Let's go.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:13

      One, two, three. Let's go.

   6. BSBrian Simpson0:13

      Netflix special- Netflix special-

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:14

      What's up?

   8. BSBrian Simpson0:15

      ... live from-

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:16

      What's up?

   10. BSBrian Simpson0:16

       ... live from the mothership, streaming on Netflix right now.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:19

       The first special live from the mothership-

   12. BSBrian Simpson0:22

       Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:22

       ... to be streamed on Netflix.

   14. BSBrian Simpson0:23

       Yeah, man.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:24

       How's that? (laughs)

   16. BSBrian Simpson0:24

       It's exciting, man.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:26

       It's great too, man.

   18. BSBrian Simpson0:27

       Yeah, yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:27

       You nailed it.

   20. BSBrian Simpson0:28

       It's great.

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:28

       You fucking nailed it.

   22. BSBrian Simpson0:30

       It's been a good... Got a good positive response from the comedy community too.

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:33

       Beautiful.

   24. BSBrian Simpson0:33

       Yeah, yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan0:34

       Beautiful.

   26. BSBrian Simpson0:35

       Everybody's loving it. Yeah, this is gonna keep going... Keep, keep, keep getting stronger now.

2. 0:39 – 1:55

   Moving to Texas during COVID: leaving LA and the lockdown culture shock

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:39

      (laughs) I know, it's such a nice feeling, man. It's such a... It's so nice to watch this happen for you, because, you know, you were one of the guys that came out here early. You took a early risk.

   2. BSBrian Simpson0:48

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:49

      You know, a lot of people in the beginning were like, "What the fuck is everybody doing moving to Texas in the middle of the pandemic?"

   4. BSBrian Simpson0:56

      Yeah, but you know, honestly, it didn't feel like that big of a risk. Well, maybe at the time. I don't remember, man. But it, it felt like a easy decision when I made it. But it was a last minute thing. I, I literally... From the time I decided to move, like I was... I'm moving, to the time I moved, I think it was like a month.

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:12

      Yeah, it was quick for me too, man.

   6. BSBrian Simpson1:14

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:14

      I mean, I was k... I came out here in May of 2020, and I started looking at houses immediately.

   8. BSBrian Simpson1:21

      Mm-hmm.

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:22

      And then, you know, we got... There was like, you know, a little hesitation with Mrs. Rogan, and the, the girls were really into it right away because when we got out here you could jump in the lake, people were partying, it was like...

   10. BSBrian Simpson1:34

       Oh, yeah.

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:34

       We went on a boat. My real estate agent's a genius. She took us out on the lake and she showed us, like, this is the, like... The life out here. Like, people are having fun, and everybody was terrified in LA. Everybody was wearing masks outside, it was just... And here, like, no one had masks on outside. You'd go to restaurants and, and my daughters just wanted a, a life. A real life.

3. 1:55 – 4:22

   Comedy Store shutdowns, “optics,” and the economics of restaurants/clubs

   1. BSBrian Simpson1:55

      And that's back when they were like... They were fucking with the store, so...

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:59

      Yeah, bad.

   3. BSBrian Simpson2:00

      Like, the city... It was so crazy for the store to be two blocks from, uh... What's that country bar?

   4. JRJoe Rogan2:06

      Road... What is it? Road House?

   5. NANarrator2:07

      Saddle Ranch.

   6. JRJoe Rogan2:07

      You Saddle Ranch.

   7. BSBrian Simpson2:08

      Saddle Ranch.

   8. JRJoe Rogan2:08

      Yeah.

   9. BSBrian Simpson2:08

      It was two blocks from Saddle Ran... And Saddle Ranch had, you know, 100 people out there with little dividers between them and everything, and then the store, they tried to have... They tried to do the same thing but they put comedy outside with like dividers in front of everybody and everything.

   10. JRJoe Rogan2:22

       Mm-hmm.

   11. BSBrian Simpson2:22

       And the city was still like, "No."

   12. JRJoe Rogan2:24

       Yeah.

   13. BSBrian Simpson2:24

       "That's live performance. Shut it down." We couldn't do comedy through a fucking window.

   14. JRJoe Rogan2:29

       My friend's brother worked for the city and worked in the COVID department, and one of the women who was in charge of making the decision to close down outdoor dining, he said to her, "There's no evidence that outdoor dining causes a spread." And she said, "Yeah, but it's about optics."

   15. BSBrian Simpson2:52

       (sighs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan2:52

       It's about optics. So some person who, none of their money is dependent upon business being open, they get that same check every week. That check is... That's what you get. You work for the fucking state.

   17. BSBrian Simpson3:02

       Mm-hmm.

   18. JRJoe Rogan3:03

       This is my check. She didn't give a fuck about just stopping millions and millions of dollars in business, and stopping all of these restaurants from being able s... Able to stay alive. All these people that bus... You, you know...

   19. BSBrian Simpson3:15

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan3:15

       You ever worked in a restaurant?

   21. BSBrian Simpson3:16

       Oh, yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan3:17

       That's work, man.

   23. BSBrian Simpson3:18

       Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan3:18

       That's work. When I was, uh... I guess I was 21, I was dating this girl who, uh... She got a degree in, uh, hotel management and hospitality, like that kinda thing-

   25. BSBrian Simpson3:30

       Mm-hmm.

   26. JRJoe Rogan3:30

       And dude, the hours that she had to work were crazy. Right outta college she was working like all day long. 12-hour days were normal, and if you were her manager you would come in on Saturday if they needed you, you'd do everything that they asked you to do-

   27. BSBrian Simpson3:44

       Yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan3:44

       ... and you don't make any money. There's-

   29. BSBrian Simpson3:45

       It's grueling.

   30. JRJoe Rogan3:46

       The, the, the amount of money that a restaurant makes, like a me... A restaurant has to be like really killing it to make money.
4. 4:22 – 6:46

   Building a club in the ‘dark days’: Ron White’s push and comedy’s lifers

   1. JRJoe Rogan4:22

      We could've never. Like, o- oh... When we were... We used... Brian and I, for people who don't know, we would sit in the green room of the Vulcan, and this was the dark days where like no one knew what was gonna happen with live performance anywhere. There was no touring.

   2. BSBrian Simpson4:38

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan4:38

      Nobody was touring.

   4. BSBrian Simpson4:39

      Well, Bert was touring still, so yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan4:41

      He was doing parking lots.

   6. BSBrian Simpson4:42

      Oh, right. Yeah, yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan4:42

      He was doing those drive-in shows.

   8. BSBrian Simpson4:43

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan4:43

      He's a savage.

   10. BSBrian Simpson4:45

       But he was the only one. Him... Actually no, him and-

   11. JRJoe Rogan4:46

       Eliza did it too.

   12. BSBrian Simpson4:47

       Yeah, him and Eliza, right.

   13. JRJoe Rogan4:49

       Um, a few other people did it too.

   14. BSBrian Simpson4:51

       I don't know, man.

   15. JRJoe Rogan4:51

       But, but Bert invented the drive-in thing. But the point is, it was weird. We didn't know what was gonna happen.

   16. BSBrian Simpson4:59

       No.

   17. JRJoe Rogan4:59

       And then we would be talking about, "We gotta build a club." 'Cause Ron White to- lit- literally grabbed me by shoulders, you know? He was like, "Whatever the fuck we have to do, we're opening up a fucking club here." He goes, "We're gonna fucking keep doing this." I was like, "Okay. We gotta keep doing this."

   18. BSBrian Simpson5:14

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan5:14

       It was literally Ron White grabbing me in November of 2020. It was the first time he had been on stage.

   20. BSBrian Simpson5:20

       Oh.

   21. JRJoe Rogan5:20

       And he crushed.

   22. BSBrian Simpson5:22

       Of course.

   23. JRJoe Rogan5:22

       Not only did he crush, the ovation that he got when he was walking to that stage, holy shit.

   24. BSBrian Simpson5:30

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan5:30

       I forget who brought him up. I think it was Duncan. I forget who brought him up, but whoever brought him up, the fucking ovation that he got was so insane.

   26. BSBrian Simpson5:40

       You saved him too? 'Cause he w... He went from retiring to now he's on the road again.

   27. JRJoe Rogan5:43

       Yeah, I was telling him, "You're never retiring." "What are you talking about?" They invited me to his retirement party. I go, "I'm not going to your fugazi retirement party."

   28. BSBrian Simpson5:50

       (laughs)

   29. JRJoe Rogan5:50

       "There's no way that's real. You're not quitting. You're one of the best comics alive."

   30. BSBrian Simpson5:54

       Yeah.
5. 6:46 – 16:32

   Blacking out and fainting: Duncan at the Black Keys, boot camp leg-locking, and G-force stories

   1. JRJoe Rogan6:46

      Bob Saget died tragically. That's a horrible one, man. Fell, blacked out, fell and hit his head. You know, um, we saw, uh, our friend Duncan the other night black out.

   2. BSBrian Simpson6:56

      Oh, yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan6:57

      Yeah. Duncan fainted at, uh, The Black Keys concert, and he didn't know he was fainting. He didn't know what was going on, and I caught it. Red Band grabbed me, and he goes, "What's going on over here with Duncan?" And I got over to him, and our security guy had caught him before he fell. But I thought he tripped over this box, 'cause it was, like, open. You know those boxes-

   4. BSBrian Simpson7:20

      Oh.

   5. JRJoe Rogan7:20

      ... they use for equipment?

   6. BSBrian Simpson7:21

      Okay, yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan7:21

      There was a... 'Cause we were backstage. We were in the corner. We had this dope spot to watch the show. And, um, when he grabbed him, when Bruce grabbed him, Duncan, um, just seemed weird. He... So I grabbed my... I'm like, "You okay? Did you get hurt?" He goes, "No." I go, "Did that thing fall on you?" And Bruce is like, "No, he fell on it." And I go, uh, "What happened?" He goes, "I don't know. I'm, I'm, I'm fine though, I'm fine." But then I feel his body, like, giving out in my hands.

   8. BSBrian Simpson7:48

      Mm.

   9. JRJoe Rogan7:48

      So I've got my hands on him, 'cause I was helping him up, but I feel him giving out. And so I go, "Hey man, you okay? Are you okay?"

   10. BSBrian Simpson7:54

       This is-

   11. JRJoe Rogan7:54

       And so he starts, like, sl- slumping, you know? And I go, "Hey, we're gonna get... Let's l- let's sit you down, let's sit you down." And we were trying to figure out what's going on.

   12. BSBrian Simpson8:02

       Okay.

   13. JRJoe Rogan8:02

       And, you know, he was sober. It wasn't a drug. It wasn't anything like that. And then we sit him down. I go, "Are you all right?" He goes, "Yeah, it's so weird, man. It just felt so weird. I just, all of the sudden, I just, like, I just was f- passing out." And he goes out again. He just goes out again right there.

   14. BSBrian Simpson8:19

       Mm-hmm.

   15. JRJoe Rogan8:19

       And I grab him. I go, "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey." And then they get EMTs, and then this lady comes to take care of him, and this dude comes, and they, we carry him over to a cot.

   16. BSBrian Simpson8:30

       I think he was locking out his knees, bro.

   17. JRJoe Rogan8:31

       I don't know what it was.

   18. BSBrian Simpson8:33

       See, you know, what's weird is that we haven't talked about this since that happened.

   19. JRJoe Rogan8:36

       Yeah.

   20. BSBrian Simpson8:37

       And-

   21. JRJoe Rogan8:37

       Well, I talked about it with him. Yeah, he doesn't... I don't know if he, he knows we're gonna talk about it on s- the podcast.

   22. BSBrian Simpson8:43

       Oh, yeah, he probably doesn't want us to talk about it.

   23. JRJoe Rogan8:44

       Do you think so?

   24. BSBrian Simpson8:46

       I don't know.

   25. JRJoe Rogan8:46

       Should we not talk about it?

   26. BSBrian Simpson8:48

       I don't know. He seems-

   27. JRJoe Rogan8:49

       Let's put a, we'll put a placeholder in there.

   28. BSBrian Simpson8:50

       Yeah, yeah. Okay.

   29. JRJoe Rogan8:52

       How did I get to that point though?

   30. BSBrian Simpson8:55

       Um, we talking about drugs? No. We're talking about, um...
6. 16:32 – 22:35

   Jets, UFO physics, deep-sea disasters, and sinkholes as nightmare fuel

   1. JRJoe Rogan16:32

      That's why the UFO shit is so perplexing because whatever those things are, if they're ours, nobody's in them. No fucking chance. No chance. Nobody's in those things because you would be turned into jello (snaps fingers) like that.

   2. BSBrian Simpson16:47

      From going, from changing directions so quickly?

   3. JRJoe Rogan16:49

      What they're doing is moving at a s- what was it like that they estimated the Tic Tac to go? I think it was 13,000 Gs. Something insane where it moves so fast 'cause it went from, supposedly went from above our atmosphere, which is like above 50,000 feet, down to like 50 feet (pops mouth) in a second.

   4. BSBrian Simpson17:11

      And didn't crash?

   5. JRJoe Rogan17:12

      Not only didn't crash, stopped dead and hovered. They're like, what, what can do that? And what happens to the people that are in that? You're gone, bro. You're mist. You're pink mist.

   6. BSBrian Simpson17:24

      Oh, yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan17:24

      You're like those people in that submarine (imitates explosion) .

   8. BSBrian Simpson17:26

      Man.

   9. JRJoe Rogan17:28

      You just splat.

   10. BSBrian Simpson17:29

       Bro, I just, speaking of that shit, I just watched a, I just watched a YouTube video about another fucking incident. What's the name of it?

   11. JRJoe Rogan17:37

       Boeing?

   12. BSBrian Simpson17:37

       No, it wasn't Boeing. No, no, this was a long time ago. Uh, it was a, this was a mining, uh-

   13. JRJoe Rogan17:42

       (gasps)

   14. BSBrian Simpson17:43

       ... a mining rig where the guys, all the guys got, all the guys got sucked through a door.

   15. JRJoe Rogan17:49

       Oh.

   16. BSBrian Simpson17:50

       Like a d- a door was c- a door was cracked and actually the only one guy died that way, but because that door got cracked, it killed everybody inside.

   17. JRJoe Rogan17:59

       Oh my God.

   18. BSBrian Simpson18:00

       You know, that, like that deep sea, especially when it was new, that deep sea like mining shit with-

   19. JRJoe Rogan18:05

       (sighs)

   20. BSBrian Simpson18:06

       ... 'cause you have to, those guys have to live.

   21. JRJoe Rogan18:10

       Oh my God.

   22. BSBrian Simpson18:11

       Well, hmm.

   23. JRJoe Rogan18:12

       Sucked into an oil pipe.

   24. BSBrian Simpson18:13

       Or maybe-

   25. JRJoe Rogan18:14

       Oh my God.

   26. BSBrian Simpson18:15

       No, this is, this isn't it, but still.

   27. JRJoe Rogan18:16

       Okay. But Jesus Christ, sucked into an oil pipe?

   28. BSBrian Simpson18:19

       Yeah. Some of these people 'cause they would, they would, uh... What the fuck was the name of that-

   29. JRJoe Rogan18:22

       Did you see that one where that sinkhole opened up in the bottom of a pool?

   30. BSBrian Simpson18:26

       ... of a swimming pool?
7. 22:35 – 27:22

   Earthquakes, building codes, and why regulation matters

   1. JRJoe Rogan22:35

      You know how you know that? Earthquakes. You ever been in an earthquake?

   2. BSBrian Simpson22:38

      Oh, yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan22:39

      It, it feels like the earth became like you were on a raft.

   4. BSBrian Simpson22:42

      That's another part of the reason why I left California is like everyone was living there acting like that shit wasn't on the way.

   5. JRJoe Rogan22:49

      (laughs)

   6. NANarrator22:49

      (laughs)

   7. BSBrian Simpson22:49

      You know what I mean? Like that shit's overdue, bro, and it's gonna fuck shit up.

   8. JRJoe Rogan22:53

      It's gonna fuck shit up in an incomprehensible way. I got to LA in '94, and it was right after the earthquake. And I got to see giant sections of the highway that had collapsed on top of cars. You could see it. It was all, the, the highways were collapsed right in front of you. You could see where they collapsed.

   9. BSBrian Simpson23:10

      Hmm.

   10. JRJoe Rogan23:10

       And I was like, "I am never going that way."

   11. BSBrian Simpson23:13

       (laughs)

   12. JRJoe Rogan23:13

       Whatever needs to be done that way-

   13. BSBrian Simpson23:15

       (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan23:15

       ... I'm going all the way the fuck around. I am not gonna be on the bottom of that thing.

   15. BSBrian Simpson23:19

       No, right?

   16. JRJoe Rogan23:19

       I don't even wanna be on the top and ride it out. I think you'll die that way, too. But the people on the bottom are dead as fuck.

   17. BSBrian Simpson23:25

       Yeah.

   18. JRJoe Rogan23:26

       They're, they're-

   19. BSBrian Simpson23:26

       Yeah, they're definitely gone.

   20. JRJoe Rogan23:27

       ... diggity dead as fuck. That's a terrible way to die.

   21. BSBrian Simpson23:30

       (sighs) Or to be on, be, to be in some building that collapses on top of you.

   22. JRJoe Rogan23:33

       Some of the brid- some of the bridges would fall off and people would just drop. You'd see them, the cars just drop.

   23. BSBrian Simpson23:38

       Well, that's what happened in Baltimore.

   24. JRJoe Rogan23:39

       Bro, f- fu- oh, yeah. Yeah.

   25. BSBrian Simpson23:41

       Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan23:42

       That happened.

   27. BSBrian Simpson23:42

       Fuck that. Fuck being on that bridge.

   28. JRJoe Rogan23:44

       Fuck that.

   29. BSBrian Simpson23:44

       Ah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan23:44

       Fuck, fuck that. In a place where there's earthquakes? Fuck ...
8. 27:22 – 34:45

   Fame, privacy, and the Mothership ecosystem (Kill Tony, roasts, and rising comics)

   1. BSBrian Simpson27:22

      Oh, yeah. That's like, you know what it is?

   2. JRJoe Rogan27:23

      Yeah.

   3. BSBrian Simpson27:23

      That's like people that think you owe them-

   4. JRJoe Rogan27:25

      Mm-hmm.

   5. BSBrian Simpson27:25

      ... your privacy, which-

   6. JRJoe Rogan27:27

      With this, yeah.

   7. BSBrian Simpson27:27

      ... they, they'll run into your family at Disneyland.

   8. JRJoe Rogan27:30

      Right, right.

   9. BSBrian Simpson27:30

      And they're like, "Hey, man, I don't mean to interrupt," but you interrupt them.

   10. JRJoe Rogan27:33

       Yeah.

   11. BSBrian Simpson27:33

       "I'm with my kids."

   12. JRJoe Rogan27:34

       I get how people just think this is their one chance to say hi.

   13. BSBrian Simpson27:37

       That's what it is.

   14. JRJoe Rogan27:38

       That's what it is. Like, "Brian Simpson! Oh, shit!" It's their one chance, and I get it. It's just like sometimes you can't do it.

   15. BSBrian Simpson27:44

       But it's like when you see, it's like, it's a l- it's almost like when you see Indiana Jones sitting there with the, with the, with the bag trying to swap-

   16. JRJoe Rogan27:49

       Right.

   17. BSBrian Simpson27:49

       ... swap it out real quick. He's like, "You can just leave it there-"

   18. JRJoe Rogan27:52

       Yeah.

   19. BSBrian Simpson27:52

       "... Indiana."

   20. JRJoe Rogan27:53

       (laughs) Get the fuck out of there.

   21. BSBrian Simpson27:54

       Yeah, but I, but I get it.

   22. JRJoe Rogan27:55

       You're a professor. (laughs)

   23. BSBrian Simpson27:56

       It's a lot of pressure of like, "This is my last chance to fucking..."

   24. JRJoe Rogan27:59

       Yeah.

   25. BSBrian Simpson28:00

       Fuck those rules.

   26. JRJoe Rogan28:00

       Yeah. I get that. But, you know, it's the price that you pay. Price of weird life.

   27. BSBrian Simpson28:08

       Price, price of fame?

   28. JRJoe Rogan28:09

       Yeah, this weird life. It's the price you pay.

   29. BSBrian Simpson28:11

       What a great life though.

   30. JRJoe Rogan28:12

       It's, well, listen, we, we are the luckiest people alive. We get to do what we love to do-
9. 34:45 – 46:18

   Sleep apnea, in-ear monitors, and cauliflower ear: the body costs of performance and fighting

   1. BSBrian Simpson34:45

      This is my first 10 years in comedy. I, I wasn't sleeping.

   2. JRJoe Rogan34:48

      (laughs) 'Cause you're tired all the time.

   3. BSBrian Simpson34:50

      So I was just tired all the time, and I just learned... That's just how I've learned to do it.

   4. JRJoe Rogan34:54

      That's hilarious. That's hilarious.

   5. BSBrian Simpson34:58

      Yeah. I didn't get good sleep for years. I finally got the, the CPAP machine like five years ago.

   6. JRJoe Rogan35:04

      Hmm.

   7. BSBrian Simpson35:04

      And I couldn't believe it.

   8. JRJoe Rogan35:06

      Yeah. Big difference.

   9. BSBrian Simpson35:07

      Oh, man. It's a huge... Like some-

   10. JRJoe Rogan35:09

       Changed Joey.

   11. BSBrian Simpson35:10

       Some people have them, and they're like, "Yeah, but I don't use it." I'm like, "How do you not use it?"

   12. JRJoe Rogan35:14

       I tried it once. I didn't like it. But, uh, I have a, a mouthpiece that I sleep with.

   13. BSBrian Simpson35:19

       How does that work?

   14. JRJoe Rogan35:20

       It presses my tongue down. So the mouthpiece is fit to my lower teeth.

   15. BSBrian Simpson35:24

       Oh.

   16. JRJoe Rogan35:25

       And there's a tongue depressor, and it keeps my airway open.

   17. BSBrian Simpson35:27

       Oh, yeah. See, I tried to get one.

   18. JRJoe Rogan35:28

       Dudes who have big necks, like football players, almost all those dudes have sleep apnea.

   19. BSBrian Simpson35:34

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan35:34

       It's a big neck thing.

   21. BSBrian Simpson35:35

       And it, it runs in my family, the big neck.

   22. JRJoe Rogan35:37

       You have a big neck.

   23. BSBrian Simpson35:38

       Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan35:38

       And look at all this tissue. And if you have, you know, a big tongue... I have a pretty fat tongue, and a... This neck and this h- the hole is not as big as it probably would be if I had a, like a skinny neck.

   25. BSBrian Simpson35:49

       Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan35:50

       You know? Like your neck is tissue. This is all fucking stuff. I mean-

   27. BSBrian Simpson35:54

       But does-

   28. JRJoe Rogan35:55

       ... I build that up with exercises.

   29. BSBrian Simpson35:57

       Does it work though?

   30. JRJoe Rogan35:58

       Yes.
10. 46:18 – 51:47

    Why you shouldn’t fight in bars: gym confidence, consequences, and fighter psychology

    1. JRJoe Rogan46:18

       Also, like, don't just be fucking with people thinking it's a fair fight. People stab people, they shoot people. Just don't do it. Just don't do it, man. If you wanna prove yourself, go to a gym.

    2. BSBrian Simpson46:29

       Right.

    3. JRJoe Rogan46:29

       Go to a gym. Learn how to fight. And then you will lose all of your desire to do that in a bar.

    4. BSBrian Simpson46:34

       Especially if- after 30 'cause-

    5. JRJoe Rogan46:37

       I don't give a fuck if you're 20. Don't do it. Don't fucking do it.

    6. BSBrian Simpson46:40

       Yeah.

    7. JRJoe Rogan46:40

       Man, it's how people die.

    8. BSBrian Simpson46:42

       20-somethings.

    9. JRJoe Rogan46:42

       It's how people get locked up in jail for the rest of their lives. It's how-

    10. BSBrian Simpson46:45

        20-somethings though, they can't, you can't tell a 20-year-old.

    11. JRJoe Rogan46:47

        Yeah, you can.

    12. BSBrian Simpson46:48

        Yeah?

    13. JRJoe Rogan46:48

        I listened. Yeah. I listened. I was terrified of fights when I was in my 20s. And I knew how to fight. I didn't want to go anywhere.

    14. BSBrian Simpson46:54

        Oh, yeah. But you grew up fighting.

    15. JRJoe Rogan46:55

        Yeah. But, uh, I mean, when I would go out to bars.

    16. BSBrian Simpson46:57

        Right, right. Right.

    17. JRJoe Rogan46:58

        Like, if I was out to bars with my friends and shit would break loose, I'm like, "Out. Exit please."

    18. BSBrian Simpson47:02

        Yeah. I'm not staying.

    19. JRJoe Rogan47:03

        I'm not fighting anybody. I'm getting the fuck out of here.

    20. BSBrian Simpson47:06

        Yeah.

    21. JRJoe Rogan47:06

        I knew that early, early on because I knew guys... Growing up in Boston, going to high school in Newton, which is outside of Boston, I spent most of my time in Boston 'cause that's where I did TaeKwonDo. I met some hard fucking dudes. Some hard, hard men. One of the guys that I met was a fucking hitman for Whitey Bulger, who's the guy I was training. I was teaching him TaeKwonDo and he's a hitman. Like, well-known that he was in the Irish mob. Well-known. And he was taking TaeKwonDo classes. I was around people that, like... So in my mind, any man that you just have some confrontation with on the street, e- even if you beat his ass, that's not the end of it. He's gonna come find you.

    22. BSBrian Simpson47:52

        Mm-hmm.

    23. JRJoe Rogan47:53

        This idea that you could just do something to someone and there's no consequences ever, well, it, it could be a year from now, two years from now, five years from now. You're gonna be looking over their shoulder for the rest of your life? What are you, fucking stupid? Just get away.

    24. BSBrian Simpson48:07

        Yeah.

    25. JRJoe Rogan48:07

        Don't fight with people.

    26. BSBrian Simpson48:09

        You wanna ask Monk?

    27. JRJoe Rogan48:09

        Don't argue with people. Yeah, Monk. Don't, don't piss people off. We'd all be better off if people didn't have this desire to control themselves. And that's what you get rid of when you go to the gym, when you learn Jiu-Jitsu, when you learn a martial art, and you don't have this desire to test yourself all the time 'cause you're constantly being tested.

    28. BSBrian Simpson48:27

        Yeah.

    29. JRJoe Rogan48:27

        When you go out, you just wanna f- have fun and chill.

    30. BSBrian Simpson48:31

        Yeah. Most of the fighters I've met-You know, I've, I've met a lot of fighters since I've been ... Since I've lived here now. Most of them are pr- pretty chill.
11. 51:47 – 1:05:12

    Tyson vs Jake Paul and the hidden costs of combat sports (chin durability, brain damage, and boxing craft)

    1. BSBrian Simpson51:47

       Well, speaking of Mike Tyson, this, these people that think that he don't stand a chance against Jake Paul, that they're like, "This shouldn't even ... Like, he ... 'Cause he's too old," it's like, I think you're ... I think you're crazy.

    2. JRJoe Rogan51:57

       (smacks lips) Well, they're definitely-

    3. BSBrian Simpson51:59

       I-

    4. JRJoe Rogan51:59

       ... uninformed.

    5. BSBrian Simpson52:00

       Yeah.

    6. JRJoe Rogan52:01

       Because the, the ... Here's the thing. He is 57 years old. He, he will be 58 when they fight. He, he has had a long fighting career. He, he has been knocked out by massive men like Lennox Lewis and Evander Holyfield. You know, he's, he's had a lot of blows, and you know, it's-

    7. BSBrian Simpson52:18

       Yeah.

    8. JRJoe Rogan52:18

       ... o- long, you know, long past the time where most people ever fight. You know, the only person that ever fought competitively in ... At, after age 50 is Bernard Hopkins and Archie Moore.

    9. BSBrian Simpson52:30

       How about George Foreman?

    10. JRJoe Rogan52:30

        Archie Moore did it back in the day.

    11. BSBrian Simpson52:31

        No, Foreman was 40-something.

    12. JRJoe Rogan52:32

        Fore- M- Foreman was in his 50s, I believe, when he had his last fight. Was he? He won the title. His little-

    13. BSBrian Simpson52:37

        Oh, I'm grabbing some whiskey.

    14. JRJoe Rogan52:38

        Yeah, yeah, yeah. Foreman was the ... Want some ice and glasses and shit?

    15. BSBrian Simpson52:42

        Uh, yeah, yeah.

    16. JRJoe Rogan52:44

        Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think Foreman captured the heavyweight title at the oldest age, which was 46, when he fought Michael Moore. He hit him with this perfect right hand. It was crazy l- ... Yeah, that's, uh, that's okay. That's that bodega cat. That's Mark Normand stuff. We got some good shit, though. So how old was he? 48. So his last fight when he fought f- Shannon Briggs, Shannon the Cannon, shout out to Shannon. What ... Let's go, champ. So he beat Lou Savarese. He was 48 years old. (laughs) Crazy, crazy, crazy. And he knocked out Michael Moore, he was 45. So he was the oldest man ever to win the heavyweight title at age 45. And you got to realize, like, that's a real 45. That's not like a 45 today. The 45 today is 45 with testosterone replacement-

    17. BSBrian Simpson53:34

        (laughs)

    18. JRJoe Rogan53:34

        ... and human growth hormone-

    19. BSBrian Simpson53:36

        Oh, right, right.

    20. JRJoe Rogan53:36

        ... and peptides and-

    21. BSBrian Simpson53:37

        Well, that's, well, that's what I'm saying. Mi- this ... Mike Tyson, yeah, he 57, but he got access to ...

    22. JRJoe Rogan53:43

        Everything.

    23. BSBrian Simpson53:43

        Everything.

    24. JRJoe Rogan53:44

        And he's also doing this very unique, uh, kind of training with electrical muscular stimulation that, I've talked to some people that, um, do that. And it, it's, uh, it has massive benefits with rehabilitating injuries. And it also, uh, for a, a lot of people gives them significant gains when they use it as opposed to just using weightlifting. Um, I, I don't know too much about the science behind it.

    25. BSBrian Simpson54:08

        Hmm.

    26. JRJoe Rogan54:08

        When Jamie comes back, we'll have him look it up, but you slap electrodes onto yourself. They, they, they put these pads on you and it's hooked up to a machine.

    27. BSBrian Simpson54:16

        Okay.

    28. JRJoe Rogan54:16

        And while the electricity is going into your muscles, you're doing exercises. So while you're getting jolted, you're doing squats and you're doing, like, dead lifts. You're doing all this shit while you're connected to this, uh, thing that's-

    29. BSBrian Simpson54:28

        Thank you.

    30. JRJoe Rogan54:29

        ... stimulating your muscles.
12. 1:05:12 – 1:30:24

    Sports money, gambling scandals, and watching games alone (Ohtani, contracts, and attention)

    1. BSBrian Simpson1:05:12

       That's why I... The part of me, deep down, I wish boxing had, like, a, a UFC-type-

    2. JRJoe Rogan1:05:18

       Right.

    3. BSBrian Simpson1:05:19

       ... Like, like, I wish someone could make the top guys fight each other.

    4. JRJoe Rogan1:05:22

       Well, they can't even do that in MMA. You know, look, uh, uh, Francis is now at the PFL. And you've got, you know, other people over at Bellator. And-

    5. BSBrian Simpson1:05:30

       Yeah.

    6. JRJoe Rogan1:05:30

       I guess Bellator and the PFL are one thing now.

    7. BSBrian Simpson1:05:33

       Yeah. But you, but you have, but you have to be huge to, to not, to not do it in the UFC, you know?

    8. JRJoe Rogan1:05:41

       Yeah. It's, it's real tough to be famous. The problem is, if you're outside of the UFC, you could be not famous and make more money. That is true. Like, this is a th- a factor. You have to think about guys that, you know, kind of didn't do as well as the top guys in the UFC, but they're still elite MMA fighters. They go over to the PFL and win that tournament and make a million dollars.

    9. BSBrian Simpson1:06:04

       Yeah.

    10. JRJoe Rogan1:06:05

        You know?

    11. BSBrian Simpson1:06:06

        Yeah. And then, um, and then, man, over there, the, the Middle East, man, they throwing money at all manner of entertainers and shit over here.

    12. JRJoe Rogan1:06:13

        Yeah. Um, that one dude from Montreal, Olivier Albon-Mercier. He, I think he won it twice. I think he won the PFL tournament twice. He w- definitely won it once. So he made, he, he made a million dollars.

    13. BSBrian Simpson1:06:24

        Is this tournament... Is that where I just saw Mighty Mouse in, like, a no-weight?

    14. JRJoe Rogan1:06:27

        No. That's... No. Mighty Mouse in a no-weight was just a jujitsu match.

    15. BSBrian Simpson1:06:32

        Oh.

    16. JRJoe Rogan1:06:32

        That was just jujitsu.

    17. BSBrian Simpson1:06:33

        Okay.

    18. JRJoe Rogan1:06:33

        Mighty Mouse is wild. He just enters jujitsu opens as 155-pound man, fought a 250-pound dude and strangled him (laughs) .

    19. BSBrian Simpson1:06:40

        Yeah. And it looked, it looked like it too.

    20. JRJoe Rogan1:06:43

        It was incredible, the size difference.

    21. BSBrian Simpson1:06:45

        Yeah.

    22. JRJoe Rogan1:06:45

        It was incredible. But, um, th-... He competes for one. And one championship is this giant, uh, organization in Asia.... and they have not just MMA fights, but they have kickboxing fights and grappling fights. Like, uh, Garry Tonon has competed over there in grappling.

    23. BSBrian Simpson1:07:03

        Oh, yeah.

    24. JRJoe Rogan1:07:03

        The Ruotolo brothers are the champions over there. Mikey Musumeci, he competes over there in grappling.

    25. BSBrian Simpson1:07:08

        They have a great app too, by the way.

    26. JRJoe Rogan1:07:10

        Yeah. So, there's that. So there's, there's places you can go. But to be famous in America-

    27. BSBrian Simpson1:07:16

        Yeah.

    28. JRJoe Rogan1:07:17

        ... is the UFC.

    29. BSBrian Simpson1:07:17

        UFC.

    30. JRJoe Rogan1:07:18

        Everything else is just... Unfortunately, it pales in comparison. The UFC is like, Q-tips, the NFL, you know, you, y- y- y- y- NBA is where you go to see professional basketball. If someone else wants to start a new basketball league, good fucking luck.

Episode duration: 3:11:21