Joe Rogan Experience #2182 - Michael Malice

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (drumbeats) Joe Rogan podcast,…

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      (drumbeats) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

   2. NANarrator0:04

      The Joe Rogan Experience.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:06

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (instrumental music) Okay, I have to announce, 'cause, uh, Netflix is making me announce this.

   4. MMMichael Malice0:16

      (laughs) .

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:16

      So I have a, a Netflix special that's live Saturday night from San Antonio.

   6. MMMichael Malice0:21

      Oh.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:22

      So it's gonna be live all over the world.

   8. MMMichael Malice0:23

      I'm gonna see you tomorrow.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:24

      Oh, yay. Oh, yeah, we're coming.

   10. MMMichael Malice0:26

       Yeah, yeah.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:27

       Yeah.

   12. MMMichael Malice0:27

       It's gonna be a lot of fun. (clears throat) I've seen your set. It's really funny.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:30

       It's, uh, it's tight now. Mm. It's good. It's like, I'm very happy with it.

   14. MMMichael Malice0:34

       W- how long has it been since you dropped a special?

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:36

       Six years.

   16. MMMichael Malice0:37

       Wait, dude, seriously?

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:38

       Yeah, I was ready to do one in August of 2020 when, um, the shit went down. So when the shit went down with the COVID stuff, I was preparing, so that was like March, right? I was preparing to do one in August and then I didn't do standup for like eight months. And then, uh, we started doing standup out here again, and then I started changing a lot of bits and moving stuff around. And I'm like, "I don't wanna do one right now." And I sorta just really enjoyed fucking around and just doing comedy for doing comedy, you know, and then doing it at The Club. And when The Club opened, it was just so much fun. It was just... It's just such a fucking joy to be there all the time. It's like, I get, I get anxious to get back there, like can't wait to go.

   18. MMMichael Malice1:21

       I w- I was there opening night.

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:24

       Yeah.

   20. MMMichael Malice1:24

       And I was there with my protege, Trey. We're in the green room and I'm very much like, "Okay, this is in your house, like be respectful of the space," you know? 'Cause I'm not a comic. Tim Dillon's there, who I'm pals with. Ron White. Oh my God, Ron White. Tony, you know, the, the crew. And then I hear the voice and Roseanne walks in.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:44

       (laughs)

   22. MMMichael Malice1:46

       (laughs) Right? And I'm like-

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:47

       Yeah.

   24. MMMichael Malice1:47

       ... "Oh, fucking shit." And I'm like, "All right, keep it cool." And I, I hear her say, (in high-pitched voice) "Yeah, when you get to be my age, you either have diarrhea or you're constipated."

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:59

       (laughs)

   26. MMMichael Malice1:59

       "So when I was on, uh, Tucker Carlson, my son's like, 'Mom, you've never been more personable.'" I go, "Yeah, that's 'cause I shit myself."

   27. JRJoe Rogan2:09

       (laughs)

   28. MMMichael Malice2:10

       And I'm sitting there, I'm like, "Okay, here's your opening." And I go, "You stole that line from the President."

   29. JRJoe Rogan2:14

       (laughs)

   30. MMMichael Malice2:14

       And she goes, "What? No. Who, who said..." And like her head's still going around. And then I'm talking to her.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   But, dude, they're so-…

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      craftsmanship and the seriousness and the...

   2. MMMichael Malice15:02

      But, dude, they're so- Like, the economics of the place, I don't understand, 'cause they have these big, um, like, build- like, office buildings like in- like- like, in Herald Square in New York. And there'll be, like, 13 floors, and each floor has, like, six rooms. You can take an elevator, and it's a guy, no windows, two tables and a bar. And I grew up on, like, role-playing games. It's like the guy in the armor shop, like, he's always there. Like, I don't know what his life is, but he takes pride in his cocktails. There's just room for five people. I don't know how he stays in business, but there's hundreds of them.

   3. JRJoe Rogan15:32

      Wow.

   4. MMMichael Malice15:32

      It's a, it's... And it's so... Everyone's... The thing that r- angered me, as a former New Yorker, you're out at night, everyone's out in the streets, everyone's plastered, everyone's having fun, and it's perfectly safe. So when you look at New York and San Fran and LA, this is- this is completely on purpose. Like, it does not have to be this way. It was such a great time.

   5. JRJoe Rogan15:53

      Is it on purpose or is it neglect that no one steps in to correct?

   6. MMMichael Malice16:00

      If you're arresting someone 30 times and putting them back on the street, like, that's on purpose.

   7. JRJoe Rogan16:05

      Right, but that's the officer that's doing that, and it's the-

   8. MMMichael Malice16:09

      No, it's not the officer, the prosecutor.

   9. JRJoe Rogan16:09

      It's the police department and the prosecutor and the district attorney, but then there's the politicians that are, like, in control of these- these areas, and then there's a tone that these areas have that's being controlled by the district attorney-

   10. MMMichael Malice16:22

       Yes.

   11. JRJoe Rogan16:23

       ... by how they prosecute things.

   12. MMMichael Malice16:24

       Yes.

   13. JRJoe Rogan16:24

       And all this is all- all very, very political.

   14. MMMichael Malice16:27

       Yes.

   15. JRJoe Rogan16:27

       So that part of the part, that's the part that made it looks like, it looks like you guys-

   16. MMMichael Malice16:31

       Yes.

   17. JRJoe Rogan16:31

       ... want it to be like that.

   18. MMMichael Malice16:31

       Yes. Exactly.

   19. JRJoe Rogan16:32

       Because he's not course-correcting at all.

   20. MMMichael Malice16:34

       At all.

   21. JRJoe Rogan16:34

       But I feel like at this stage, it's gotten, it's so pervasive, like the places where this crime and violence are so bad, and they've been that way for so fucking long, like, it would take a monumental effort that we just aren't capable of doing. Like, we don't have $175 billion to fix all... Oh, wait a minute, we just gave all that money to Ukraine.

   22. MMMichael Malice16:57

       Yeah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan16:57

       Oh wait, we could have fixed it.

   24. MMMichael Malice16:58

       Yes, very easily.

   25. JRJoe Rogan17:00

       That's the dumbest part of the argument, you know.

   26. MMMichael Malice17:02

       And it's not about-

   27. JRJoe Rogan17:02

       It's like, we don't have the resources for it, but we have all these resources for all these other things. Like, what?

   28. MMMichael Malice17:05

       And it's- it's a small percent of people causing all the problems, like a Pareto effect, where it's like 20% of people cause 80% of the problems.

   29. JRJoe Rogan17:11

       Uh-huh.

   30. MMMichael Malice17:12

       It's not a big... It's not like everyone in New York is a criminal.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Okay. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      true-

   2. MMMichael Malice30:00

      Okay.

   3. JRJoe Rogan30:01

      ... but I love these guys. Come on.

   4. MMMichael Malice30:02

      Yeah. Okay.

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:03

      Son, that makes me wanna do blow. (laughs)

   6. MMMichael Malice30:04

      I, I, (laughs) I interviewed Belinda Carlisle from The Go-Go's 'cause she was a coke head. And I said, "Explain this to me, 'cause if it's a rock star who's a dude, he's having coke orgies with all these chicks."

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:16

      But-

   8. MMMichael Malice30:16

      "You're a girl. You're not ha- having them run train on you. Like, literally what would you do?" And she said, "I would go in my hotel room, take the phone off the hook, close the blinds, and pace like an animal." And I go, "Oh, that sounds like a lot of fun." She goes, "Oh, yeah. It was a blast."

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:31

      (exhales) .

   10. MMMichael Malice30:31

       So when I tell you you're not gonna like it, it's like giving yourself a panic attack.

   11. JRJoe Rogan30:36

       Yeah. But some people love it.

   12. MMMichael Malice30:39

       I, I-... I, I know you well enough to tell you you're not going to like it.

   13. JRJoe Rogan30:43

       Good, thank you.

   14. MMMichael Malice30:44

       Like, it's not-

   15. JRJoe Rogan30:45

       Well, I wasn't gonna try it anyway. But the-

   16. MMMichael Malice30:47

       Not even on a bucket list thing?

   17. JRJoe Rogan30:48

       Nope. For the same reason why I won't try Adderall. The Adderall seems-

   18. MMMichael Malice30:51

       That's different.

   19. JRJoe Rogan30:52

       ... much more-

   20. MMMichael Malice30:52

       Adderall, you would like.

   21. JRJoe Rogan30:53

       That's the problem.

   22. MMMichael Malice30:54

       'Cause there's upsides.

   23. JRJoe Rogan30:55

       Oh, okay. Yeah, the productivity part.

   24. MMMichael Malice30:56

       There's a lot of upsides, yeah. And you're like, "Oh, shit." Anything, Adderall helps you, like underst- I've never done it, helps you understand your brain better. 'Cause you're li- like you see yourself, like, "Oh, this is how my brain's working," and whatever. Coke is just like, you're just wading through more coke. And I- I'm not... It's just, I don't get it.

   25. JRJoe Rogan31:13

       Expand on that. Like, so Adderall helps you know how your brain's working?

   26. MMMichael Malice31:17

       You know how, like, when you're any, kind of altered consciousness, you realize that your brain has a character of its own? And like, most people aren't introspective and just take their thoughts for granted. But people who, like, work with psychedelics, things like that, realize, okay, there's ways I can have different perceptions, different focuses-

   27. JRJoe Rogan31:34

       Right.

   28. MMMichael Malice31:34

       ... different, different senses of self in relation to the world, things like that.

   29. JRJoe Rogan31:37

       Right.

   30. MMMichael Malice31:37

       Adderall, from my understanding, it's like, it's like that movie Limitless is based on Adderall, right?
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Whoa. …

   1. MMMichael Malice45:00

      Kamala's polling worse than me in, like, eight out of 10 polls. Uh, I won these delegates. Why the hell should I back down?" And he- he ... That's a very solid case. Uh, Jill, for the first time in her life, people care about her. She matters. As Hunter put it, I have it exactly here, she's a "selfish, silly, entitled cunt." That was how Hunter described her.

   2. JRJoe Rogan45:18

      Whoa.

   3. MMMichael Malice45:18

      Yeah, yeah, we have the texts. Uh, and then all the public pressure, "Biden, you gotta drop out. Biden, gotta drop out. Biden, gotta drop out." Nancy Pelosi's a gangster. I wouldn't wanna fuck with her. I wouldn't wanna fuck with Mitch McConnell. These people don't mess around. And everyone said, or a lot of people said they're gonna have to go to threats, because why else would he step down? He's earned it, that presidency, and he's earned the nomination.

   4. JRJoe Rogan45:40

      But if there was ever a time to invoke the 25th Amendment, wouldn't you think this is the time?

   5. MMMichael Malice45:45

      Sh- sure, but I don't think they n- they n- hold on, hold on. Here's the thing. Let's talk about this. So Seymour Hersh-

   6. JRJoe Rogan45:50

      Okay.

   7. MMMichael Malice45:50

      ... who's been around DC since the '60s, I believe he wrote The Dark Side of Camelot, if I'm not mistaken, um, he had a thing on his Substack that goes, "Biden got the call." And it was Obama, Pelosi, former Speaker of the House, uh, Chuck Schumer, majority leader, Hakeem Jeffries, current, uh, House minority leader, leader of the Democrats in the House, and they said, "We got Kamala on board to invoke the 25th. If you don't drop the nomination, you know, that- that's gonna happen." The thing is, you were saying, they're not invoking the 25th. He's still president.

   8. JRJoe Rogan46:20

      Right, but I'm saying if there was a time that they were gonna do that, this would be that time.

   9. MMMichael Malice46:25

      S- sh- it- it- it- it was that time four years ago.

   10. JRJoe Rogan46:27

       Right, but cl-

   11. MMMichael Malice46:28

       It's been that time.

   12. JRJoe Rogan46:29

       But clearly now, right?

   13. MMMichael Malice46:31

       Well-

   14. JRJoe Rogan46:31

       More, more than ever before, it's deteriorating.

   15. MMMichael Malice46:32

       Why, 'cause it's public?

   16. JRJoe Rogan46:33

       No, it's deteriorating.

   17. MMMichael Malice46:34

       I don't think he's gotten that much worse.

   18. JRJoe Rogan46:36

       Oh, he's gotten a lot worse. There's a video that compares him from 2019 to 2024.

   19. MMMichael Malice46:39

       Sh-

   20. JRJoe Rogan46:39

       It's a market difference.

   21. MMMichael Malice46:41

       Yeah, but I don't think there's a big difference between 2022 and 2024. There's, like, a two and a half hour compilation of the campaign in 2020 where he forgets Obama's name.

   22. JRJoe Rogan46:50

       (clicks tongue) Yeah, that's true. He- he had those gaffes back then, but they're constant now. Like, he's barely hanging on.

   23. MMMichael Malice46:57

       I don't ... He was fine in the State of the Union. I think it's like sundowning, you know, like ...

   24. JRJoe Rogan47:00

       Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

   25. MMMichael Malice47:02

       What?

   26. JRJoe Rogan47:02

       You think it was a body double?

   27. MMMichael Malice47:05

       That was ... That guy walked very differently than Biden.

   28. JRJoe Rogan47:07

       Very different.

   29. MMMichael Malice47:07

       You saw that.

   30. JRJoe Rogan47:08

       He's a lot taller.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:06:11

   It's funny. …

   1. MMMichael Malice1:00:00

      and Trump calls in. And he's like, "That's the N-word. Nuclear." I'm like, "Are, are we really doing this right now?"

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:00:06

      It's funny.

   3. MMMichael Malice1:00:06

      Like, Trump has talked about the N-word-

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:00:08

      Yeah.

   5. MMMichael Malice1:00:08

      ... and then he means nuclear?

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:00:09

      Yeah.

   7. MMMichael Malice1:00:09

      It was, it was nuts.

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:00:10

      It's hilarious. Oh, what is this?

   9. MMMichael Malice1:00:12

      (laughs)

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:00:12

       Trump did not walk out to 50 Cent's, but rather to a country singer. So, is that fake? Those videos are fake? Where he walks out?

   11. MMMichael Malice1:00:19

       Oh.

   12. NANarrator1:00:20

       The next president of the United States, Donald J.-

   13. Yeah, these, those videos go around the internet all the time.

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:00:27

       Oh, so people-

   15. MMMichael Malice1:00:28

       Oh, wait, wait. No.

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:00:28

       ... imposed it?

   17. NANarrator1:00:29

       Yeah.

   18. MMMichael Malice1:00:29

       Or wait, no. I thought the guy was saying it in disbelief.

   19. NANarrator1:00:34

       Trump. (singing)

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:00:39

       That's him going out to that song.

   21. MMMichael Malice1:00:40

       Wait, scroll down, 'cause it says under, under it there was an explanation in text. What does it say there?Oh, it was not. It was just fake.

   22. NANarrator1:00:47

       Yeah. That's not real.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:00:47

       Oh, they faked it.

   24. MMMichael Malice1:00:48

       Oh, damn it.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:00:49

       Oh, damn it.

   26. MMMichael Malice1:00:49

       Well, now, now, we know what he should do next time.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:00:51

       So, he definitely should have came out to that.

   28. MMMichael Malice1:00:53

       That's hilarious.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:00:54

       Oh, my God. That would have been epic.

   30. MMMichael Malice1:00:55

       'Cause 50 Cent was tweeting about him.

Episode duration: 3:03:55