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Joe Rogan Experience #2196 - Greg Fitzsimmons

Greg Fitzsimmons is a comedian, actor, and writer. He hosts the “Fitzdog Radio” podcast and co-hosts “Sunday Papers” and “Childish.” His new special, “You Know Me,” premieres on YouTube on 8/27. https://gregfitzsimmons.com/ "You Know Me" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvUqkWh_x4U

Greg FitzsimmonsguestJoe Roganhost
Aug 28, 20243h 0mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

  1. 0:002:10

    Intro

    1. NA

      (drumbeats) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

    2. GF

      The Joe Rogan Experience. (rock music)

    3. JR

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.

    4. GF

      Let's do it. Headphones?

    5. JR

      Let's go. Why not? (sniffs) Roxy Inn.

    6. GF

      (laughs)

    7. JR

      I can't live without the headphones. Every time someone doesn't want to wear headphones, I'm like, "Okay. We don't have to." You know, some people don't want to mess their hair up. We don't have that problem.

    8. GF

      Yeah.

    9. JR

      (laughs)

    10. GF

      How's my hat look?

    11. JR

      Looks good. (laughs) I like it. I like them paper boy hats.

    12. GF

      Yeah.

    13. JR

      I love those. My favorite hats.

    14. GF

      Yeah. Well, the reason I do it is because... I started wearing hats because after the show people would take photos with me, with my shaved head, and the light would just bounce off-

    15. JR

      (laughs)

    16. GF

      ... my chrome and you couldn't see me in the photo. (laughs) So, I realized that I wore baseball caps, but then when you're on stage it puts a shadow over your face.

    17. JR

      Right.

    18. GF

      You can't see your face, so I started wearing these.

    19. JR

      Yeah. I love those.

    20. GF

      I like shavin' the head, though. I started during the pandemic.

    21. JR

      Yeah, you should've done that a long time ago. What's that side hair bullshit?

    22. GF

      I know. I know.

    23. JR

      It's nonsense.

    24. GF

      I feel so much better like this.

    25. JR

      Also, you have to go to a barber? That-

    26. GF

      Well, right.

    27. JR

      And listen to some stupid stories?

    28. GF

      (laughs)

    29. JR

      Oh, shit. Fuck off. (laughs)

    30. GF

      Dude, when I was a teenager, there was a place in New York called the s-... It was called The Stag Brothers and it was these two Italian brothers and they cut hair. And you go in there and they had... The, the, the reason we all went, like our moms would drop us off out front, we'd go inside and then they had Penthouse magazines while you waited.

  2. 2:102:50

    Cigar Bars

    1. GF

      be big in the Black culture.

    2. JR

      Oh, yeah.

    3. GF

      I mean, obviously there's those movies, Barbershop, but, I mean, it really is a place that people hang out. Um, but now you got cigar... Do you like hangin' out in cigar shops?

    4. JR

      Yeah. Cigar bars are good.

    5. GF

      Yeah.

    6. JR

      I, I like it. 'Cause it's one, it's one of the rare places where if you go to a cigar... I used to love that place, uh, The Grand Havana Room in Beverly Hills.

    7. GF

      Oh, yeah, yeah. Right.

    8. JR

      It's a great room.

    9. GF

      People had their own humidors in there?

    10. JR

      You could... Yeah. I had a h-humidor-

    11. GF

      Uh-huh.

    12. JR

      ... for a long time. And you, you could eat, like, nice meals and smoke cigars.

    13. GF

      Mm-hmm. Yeah.

    14. JR

      'Cause it's a private club, so you could have a steak-

    15. GF

      Right.

    16. JR

      ... some pasta.

    17. GF

      Yeah.

    18. JR

      And you're smoking a cigar at the table and everybody's doin' it.

    19. GF

      That's awesome.

    20. JR

      Yeah, it was cool.

    21. GF

      Yeah.

    22. JR

      And it was a cool place. You're like, "Oh, look at that guy," 'cause it was in Beverly Hills.

    23. GF

      Oh, it was a power

  3. 2:504:55

    New York Blues

    1. GF

      spot. I remember, like, Michael Rotenberg. Remember, from 3 Arts?

    2. JR

      Yeah.

    3. GF

      With Dave Becki. He brought me there once and he had the humidor and he was just pointing out people. He was like, "Yeah, that guy owns Warner Brothers."

    4. JR

      Yeah.

    5. GF

      "That dude has a-"

    6. JR

      Oh, yeah.

    7. GF

      "... eight picture deal over at Columbia."

    8. JR

      Yep, yep. You know who I saw there once and I was, I was kind of starstruck? Remember that dude from, uh... What is the, the New York Blues? What was it? That, that, NYPD Blue.

    9. GF

      Yeah.

    10. JR

      Am, am I... Remember NYPD Blue?

    11. GF

      Yeah, yeah.

    12. JR

      What's the dude's name?

    13. NA

      Jimmy Smits?

    14. JR

      No, no, no, no. The first guy.

    15. GF

      Jerry Orbach?

    16. NA

      Dennis ...

    17. JR

      The first guy.

    18. NA

      Dennis something or other. Yeah.

    19. GF

      Oh. Oh, yeah.

    20. JR

      The guy-

    21. GF

      Dennis... Dennis Franz?

    22. JR

      No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

    23. NA

      What?

    24. JR

      The, the redheaded guy.

    25. GF

      Oh, yeah.

    26. NA

      Oh, oh, oh, oh.

    27. GF

      He ended up quitting to make... to get a movie career that never happened.

    28. JR

      Fuck, man. They... I tell... I think they tanked that guy.

    29. NA

      This guy?

    30. JR

      Yes. What the fuck's his name? The guy was good, man.

  4. 4:557:28

    Redheads

    1. GF

      Yeah. Also, he's a redhead. Name-

    2. JR

      (laughs)

    3. GF

      Name a lot of redheaded leading men.

    4. JR

      But he could've been the guy!

    5. GF

      He could've been the first one.

    6. JR

      All the redheads are like, "One guy gets cocky."

    7. GF

      (laughs)

    8. JR

      "We had our guy!" (laughs)

    9. GF

      (laughs)

    10. JR

      "We had our major lead."

    11. GF

      "We had a shot."

    12. JR

      "We had our fucking guy, man."

    13. GF

      Yeah. And instead they started the phrase d- the word "ginger" and took them all down.

    14. JR

      Isn't that crazy?

    15. GF

      That was brutal. So unfair.

    16. JR

      They were just redheads before. That it was normal to be a redhead.

    17. GF

      Yeah, yeah.

    18. JR

      You weren't a freak.

    19. GF

      No.

    20. JR

      You were just a person with red hair and no one cared.

    21. GF

      No. Now they beat you up.

    22. JR

      (punching sound)

    23. GF

      There's literally, like, bullying if you're a redhead.

    24. JR

      Bro.

    25. GF

      I was a redhead.

    26. JR

      Were you really?

    27. GF

      I was a fucking-

    28. JR

      When?

    29. GF

      ... copper top until I was probably about 11. I was-

    30. JR

      That's so bizarre. Your hair changed color?

  5. 7:288:42

    Gay Guys

    1. GF

      guy.

    2. JR

      Well, gay guys can be strong.

    3. GF

      No, I'm just saying it's weird that there is this accepted power dynamic between a man and a woman when they make love because, well, like, like you said, the woman trusts, but when you have two guys, it's kinda like... I don't know what it's like, but I think it might-

    4. JR

      Tell me what it's like. You know what it's like-

    5. GF

      It-

    6. JR

      ... you son of a bitch. You were just about to tell me what it was like. You were about (laughs) ... You were about to break.

    7. GF

      You know I almost did once, right?

    8. JR

      How close did you get?

    9. GF

      I've told this story on my podcast, but I'll, I'll give a brief version of it. I went, uh... When I was in college, I was an English major, and I studied, like, Allen Ginsberg and Kerouac and, uh-

    10. JR

      Yeah.

    11. GF

      ... all these guys that were into homoerotic stuff. They were-

    12. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    13. GF

      A lot of them were gay, and, um, and then, uh, and even Emerson and Whitman, like all that old stuff. It was all, all gay imagery. And then there was David Bowie. I loved David Bowie, I loved Iggy Pop, Mick Jagger, and these guys were all fucking around with each other.

    14. JR

      Yeah.

    15. GF

      Yeah.

    16. JR

      Yeah.

    17. GF

      And so I was like, "All right, this must be kinda something you do, you experiment with this."

    18. JR

      That's how they get you. (laughs)

    19. GF

      That's how they get you.

    20. JR

      (laughs)

    21. GF

      They get a couple mascots. They get the coolest-

    22. JR

      A couple of famous... (laughs)

    23. GF

      ... guy in rock and roll, right? The three coolest guys in rock.

    24. JR

      Ziggy Stardust.

    25. GF

      Yeah. And so, so

  6. 8:4211:00

    Gay Sex

    1. GF

      I was not attracted to men. I never have been. I can appreciate a handsome man. I think you're not hard on the eyes.

    2. JR

      Thank you.

    3. GF

      And then I was like, "All right, so I guess I'll... I'm not gonna take it up the ass, but-"

    4. JR

      Right.

    5. GF

      "... you know, I'll-"

    6. JR

      Maybe kiss a little bit.

    7. GF

      No, n- I didn't want to do that. I just-

    8. JR

      Suck a cock?

    9. GF

      Suck cock.

    10. JR

      (laughs)

    11. GF

      And then I realized, like, I'm gonna do it, and, and when I do it, it's either gonna be like, "Ugh," or it's gonna be like, "Oh my God, this is fucking amazing."

    12. JR

      "This is incredible."

    13. GF

      Yeah.

    14. JR

      "This is what I've been missing."

    15. GF

      And, and so, uh, so I was drunk one night. I was, like, a junior in college, and, uh, my apartment... Remember the Fenway in Boston?

    16. JR

      Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah.

    17. GF

      The Fenway was like a wooded ar- Like, every city has a small wooded area where they grow trees for the reason for anonymous gay sex.

    18. JR

      (laughs)

    19. GF

      The Brambles in, in Manhattan. You got Griffith Park in LA.

    20. JR

      (laughs)

    21. GF

      There's always, like, a little gay area. So, my apartment happened to be... It was on Boylston Street, it was across the street from the Fenway. So I'm stumbling home one night, it's like 3:00 in the morning, and I'm, I look at the woods and I go, "Fuck it. I'm gonna do it."

    22. JR

      Wow.

    23. GF

      So I, I walk in, and I'm looking around and like, I don't know the protocol, I don't know how it works, and like, I'm, I'm just waiting and then all of a sudden, it's like fucking leaves are blowing and there's shadows, and then this guy just pops out from behind a tree-

    24. JR

      (laughs)

    25. GF

      ... like a little gay leprechaun. He's like, "I'm the guy!"

    26. JR

      (laughs)

    27. GF

      I was like, "All right, I guess he's the guy."

    28. JR

      Wow.

    29. GF

      And he walks over, and we look at each other, and then he unzips his pants. He pulls out his cock, and I'm just looking at it, and then he pulls his balls out, and I look at the balls, and I was like, "Nope."

    30. JR

      (laughs)

  7. 11:0015:15

    Balls vs Girls

    1. GF

      got protection. It's got curtains and walls and blinds and...

    2. JR

      A girl got kicked in the pussy the other day in a UFC fight, and, uh... Sorry for using the term pussy.

    3. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    4. JR

      Um, ladies, uh, in this term, it's really not a pussy. It's a woman's vagina, right?

    5. GF

      Yes.

    6. JR

      Cage fighter.

    7. GF

      Yes.

    8. JR

      And they went down, and, you know, they stop the fight and give the person time to recover, and I thought about it. I was like, "That's interesting," because I guess it's just you can't hit genitals, but there's a giant difference between balls, and p- girls can take a pretty good shot-

    9. GF

      Can they?

    10. JR

      ... to the pussy. Yeah, unfortunately.

    11. GF

      Yeah.

    12. JR

      Yeah. Like, if they fall and s- And it hurts, just like it hurts your ass bone.

    13. GF

      Yeah.

    14. JR

      It hurts if you, you know, you hurt your dick, your... That hurts. But the balls...

    15. GF

      Yeah.

    16. JR

      That thing... Like, I was trying to explain to... My wife and daughters were asking me what it's like to get kicked in the balls.

    17. GF

      (laughs)

    18. JR

      And I was like, "I've been kicked in the balls 100 times, at least."

    19. GF

      Uh-huh.

    20. JR

      I've been kicked in the balls so many times 'cause I grew up kicking.

    21. GF

      Yeah.

    22. JR

      So I got kicked in the balls by dudes who are really good at kicking.

    23. GF

      Yeah.

    24. JR

      So I, like, I... There's been many times in my life where I wasn't sure if my dick was gonna work anymore.

    25. GF

      Right.

    26. JR

      Like, one time I got kicked in the balls so bad that one of my nuts swole up. So my right nut... I think it was my right nut. Swo-... I got ki-... It was in, in a tournament.

    27. GF

      Yeah.

    28. JR

      I...... I threw a kick, and this guy threw a kick under my kick and slammed it into my cup. And this is a guy from the Korean national team, he was really good. He kicked me fucking hard, man.

    29. GF

      Yeah.

    30. JR

      Um, the, they gave me timeout. I continued to fight, but I knew it really hurt. I lost the fight, and then as I was driving home, I was with my girlfriend, and I was l- I was thinking at the time, I was like, "I don't know if this thing works anymore."

  8. 15:1515:54

    Gophers

    1. JR

    2. GF

      I wonder if I heard that guy's dick in the woods that night.

    3. JR

      Probably branches whacked that thing.

    4. GF

      Yeah.

    5. JR

      Ow.

    6. GF

      Fucking squirrels thinking it's nuts, diving at it. (laughs)

    7. JR

      Imagine a fucking gopher just grabbing ahold of your dick.

    8. GF

      (laughs)

    9. JR

      A gopher, they could chew through a tree.

    10. GF

      Yeah.

    11. JR

      And it just ... you know people have died from gophers before?

    12. GF

      No.

    13. JR

      Yes. A lady died recently, she got bit by a gopher, just bled out.

    14. GF

      Wow.

    15. JR

      Bro, they chew through trees.

    16. GF

      Yeah.

    17. JR

      And their ch- their, their teeth never stop growing.

    18. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    19. JR

      They have to chew on things-

    20. GF

      Oh, no shit.

    21. JR

      ... to wear their teeth out.

    22. GF

      Yeah.

    23. JR

      Otherwise, it'll just go right through their fucking face.

    24. GF

      Yeah, gophers will fucki- uh, we went upstate, we just s- just had my 25th

  9. 15:5419:28

    Vermont

    1. GF

      anniversary this month.

    2. JR

      Congratulations.

    3. GF

      Thank you. So we went up to Vermont, and, uh, upstate New York, me and my wife, just fucking-

    4. JR

      It's beautiful up there.

    5. GF

      Oh my God.

    6. JR

      Except for the people. Other than that, it's beautiful.

    7. GF

      Yeah, we didn't see a lot of them.

    8. JR

      People are odd.

    9. GF

      We saw, we saw very few people.

    10. JR

      People that live in those states are odd.

    11. GF

      We went to a farmer's market-

    12. JR

      They're most days, there's like 50 people.

    13. GF

      Yeah.

    14. JR

      They're odd.

    15. GF

      We went, we were staying in a little town, uh, f- some friends of mine moved out there. They kind of retired and decided to take up farming, so they moved out to this farm.

    16. JR

      In Vermont?

    17. GF

      In Vermont.

    18. JR

      They look like they're from Vermont too, right? They all look like you could pick them out of a lineup.

    19. GF

      Well, we went to the farmer's market, and it really was like, it was like a caricature. It's like-

    20. JR

      Yeah.

    21. GF

      ... the, you know, the dudes that look like you, if you push them, they would just crumble.

    22. JR

      Yeah.

    23. GF

      They have, like, Birkenstocks on and-

    24. JR

      Everybody looks like Bernie Sanders.

    25. GF

      They're, everyone's got tie-dye shirts on.

    26. JR

      (laughs)

    27. GF

      And it's just like, "Good for you guys, you got your spot."

    28. JR

      Yeah, they got a spot.

    29. GF

      "You can be you right here."

    30. JR

      You just gotta tolerate the winters.

  10. 19:2821:52

    Snipers

    1. JR

    2. GF

      That's why some of these action movies, you see them fucking running around shooting at each other, and you go like, "Wait a minute. This guy was just on a rooftop with a sight and, uh, hitting somebody from 300 yards away, and now he can't hit 'em from, he's fucking running down the street and they're missing each other with 20 shots?"

    3. JR

      A lot harder, though. A lot harder.

    4. GF

      Yeah.

    5. JR

      Yeah. A sniper shot is all just about not having any excess movement.

    6. GF

      Right.

    7. JR

      And controlling your breath.

    8. GF

      Yeah.

    9. JR

      So, when a sniper shoots, they're prone for the most part, meaning they're lying down, so that you cut out all the movement.

    10. GF

      Yeah.

    11. JR

      You're (clears throat) , your shoulder's rested. You ever seen, like, a sniper-

    12. GF

      Yeah.

    13. JR

      ... shoot? Their shoulder's rested. You know, they, they have the stock pressed against their body and all they're doing is controlling this finger and not flinching and controlling their breathing and keeping the-

    14. GF

      Hmm.

    15. JR

      Because, you know, a lot of them, even, a lot of these guys can shoot from a mile away now.

    16. GF

      It's insane.

    17. JR

      A mile away.

    18. GF

      And do they factor in gravity on the bullet?

    19. JR

      Yeah. They factor in a bunch of different things. They, um, a lot of times they're using, um, apps. You can use an app, and you also, you use an app for the wind.

    20. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    21. JR

      So you wanna know, like, which way the wind's blowing and, and how, where to hold, you know? And then you have, uh, a scope that's dialed out, like it's zeroed out at a very specific yardage, whatever it is, so you can just put the crosshair where it is. Ma- a lot of times, if someone's hunting, they would do it, like, zeroed out at 100 yards, so it effectively would be up or down maybe four inches and 300 yards or 400 yards.

    22. GF

      Wow.

    23. JR

      Yeah. So, a really fast-shooting, flat-shooting rifle, you zero them out. So this guy's gotta zero this thing out at a fucking, uh, uh, how many thousand yards is, uh, a mile? How long is that? What is that in yards?

    24. NA

      12, maybe.

    25. JR

      12. Twel- so I've, I've heard of guys shooting 1,500-yard shots.

    26. GF

      15, no shit.

    27. JR

      Yeah, so there's so much equipment-

    28. GF

      Wow.

    29. JR

      ... and it's so, it has to be so dialed in and k- I mean, they're, they're sighting in these things on ranges and it, it's so specific.

    30. GF

      It's 1,700. Sorry, just-

  11. 21:5224:40

    crossbows

    1. JR

    2. GF

      (laughs) It takes a second.

    3. JR

      Yeah, I think it takes two seconds.

    4. GF

      Wow.

    5. JR

      How l- how many seconds does it take for, um, let's say, a 300 Win Mag? 300 Win Mag at 1,700 yards, uh, standard, like, high-powered rifle round that they would use. I don't know if that's what they would use for snipers. Um, y- like, those guys are very, the long-range guys are very different than any other kind of shooter.

    6. GF

      Yeah.

    7. JR

      They're, they're all about the, the science and the tech and all the stuff that's involved in getting the win r- like, I have a buddy of mine who does long-range shooting.

    8. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    9. JR

      He's not a tact- well, he's just a gun enthusiast who likes long-range shooting. He does competitions.

    10. GF

      Yeah.

    11. JR

      And they just shoot steel, uh, like, and you hear boom, tink. It's, like, go- quite a long while afterwards.

    12. GF

      Yeah.

    13. JR

      So, like, if you're shooting an animal and it's walking, it's super unethical.

    14. GF

      Yeah.

    15. JR

      Because you don't know what that thing's gonna do in the time between you shooting the gun and it, like... With a bow and arrow, you never shoot at a walking animal.

    16. GF

      Okay.

    17. JR

      'Cause they're moving.

    18. GF

      Right.

    19. JR

      Or if you do, you have to be a real expert and you would lead.

    20. GF

      Uh-huh.

    21. JR

      You would, like, shoot them in the front of the shoulder to get into the vitals as they're walking-

    22. GF

      Right.

    23. JR

      ... but that's, like, that, that's an added element of woo. Anything can happen.

    24. GF

      Well, how much, how much adjusting do you do when you're, um, shooting a crossbow? Like-

    25. JR

      I-

    26. GF

      ... as far as wind and distance and that?

    27. JR

      Crossbows are a little bit more, um, accurate, and they shoot a bolt instead of a, an arrow. So it's, uh, smaller and it, it's probably because it's smaller it's not gonna have as much effect by wind. It's gonna have less to move around, less mass to move around. Um, they're very fast though. Those bolts are way faster than an arrow. Like, an arrow, if you have a really fast bow, your, your arrow's probably gonna go between 300 and 340 feet per second.

    28. GF

      Hmm.

    29. JR

      That's, uh, that's normal. That's normal for, like, a high-speed bow. But for a, a crossbow, what's the fastest crossbow? I bet it's, like, 500 plus, may- and then you also have a scope on a crossbow and a trigger. It's much more accurate.

    30. GF

      Uh-huh.

  12. 24:4027:39

    shooting

    1. JR

    2. GF

      That's like when you took me shooting... Remember when we went shooting up in the valley-

    3. JR

      Yes.

    4. GF

      ... at that guy's ranch?

    5. JR

      Yes.

    6. GF

      And he had a... It was a shotgun, but he set it up like an AK-47.

    7. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    8. GF

      So you could go... You could shoot a shotgun, but, like (shooting sound effects) .

    9. JR

      Yeah, Taran Tactical.

    10. GF

      Yeah.

    11. JR

      Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

    12. GF

      Dude, that was the cr... You're like-

    13. JR

      That's the one in John Wick movie.

    14. GF

      ... "You wanna shoot tomorrow?" I was like, "Yeah." I figured we're going to some range with a bunch of-

    15. JR

      (laughs)

    16. GF

      ... you know, yuppies shooting, in IZOD shirts and flip-flops, and I walk out, and we drive down. I get off the highway, get to a dirt road, down the dirt road, get to a fucking dirt driveway. I'm like, "Where the fuck are we going?" And we get to this place, and it's Ukrainian chicks in yoga shorts and, and, like, crop tops, and they are the most badass... They are, they are fucking master s- shots.

    17. JR

      Yeah.

    18. GF

      And we get down there, and what was the guy's name that runs it?

    19. JR

      Taran.

    20. GF

      Yeah. Holy shit.

    21. JR

      He taught Keanu Reeves for all the John Wick movies.

    22. GF

      Uh-huh.

    23. JR

      He, he t- taught Halle Berry when she was in John Wick. He teaches... Anytime, like, a celebrity needs to learn how to look like a real assassin-

    24. GF

      Yeah.

    25. JR

      ... they go to that guy.

    26. GF

      Yeah.

    27. JR

      He's a multiple time champion in, in those... You know when they do those s- They have a course, and you run the course, and, you know, like, beep, and they time you-

    28. GF

      Yeah. Right.

    29. JR

      And they da-da-da-da-da-da. That guy wins all those fucking things.

    30. GF

      Really?

  13. 27:3928:32

    divorce ratio

    1. JR

      money is real money.

    2. GF

      Although now they, uh... Now, now most have children.

    3. JR

      Do you know that those guys get divorced the least?

    4. GF

      I love that.

    5. JR

      Yeah.

    6. GF

      That's amazing.

    7. JR

      I- the ratio is... Correct me if I'm wrong. Uh, with male/female, it's like 50%, but it's skewed. It's not really 50%. What it is is a lot of people are serial divorcees.

    8. GF

      Okay.

    9. JR

      So they get married and get divorced, get married and get divorced.

    10. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    11. JR

      Like, the amount of people that stay together, it's probably higher than 50%, but there's a bunch of Jennifer Lopezes out there fucking up the curve.

    12. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    13. JR

      You know? There's a bunch of people that get, like, four or five marriages, five, six, seven marriages. People are out of their minds, right?

    14. GF

      Yeah.

    15. JR

      Um, then there's lesbians. That's real high. That's, like, 70-plus percent.

    16. GF

      Of divorced?

    17. JR

      If divorced, yeah. 70-plus percent. But then there's gay guys. Gay guys, I think it's 26% divorce rate.

    18. GF

      No shit.

    19. JR

      Yep, super

  14. 28:3230:19

    annoying guys

    1. JR

      low.

    2. GF

      Dude, because you get to hang out with a dude.

    3. JR

      (laughs)

    4. GF

      You get to hang... I would love to marry you. We would have such a good time.

    5. JR

      We'd have so much fun. We'd have fun all the time.

    6. GF

      (laughs)

    7. JR

      Yeah.

    8. GF

      It's just, like, chickening out every time it was time to suck your dick.

    9. JR

      (laughs)

    10. GF

      I'd be like, "Sorry, man. I don't like how that thing looks."

    11. JR

      (laughs)

    12. GF

      You'd be like, "Shit."

    13. JR

      Your balls. I should've dressed my balls up nice for Greg.

    14. GF

      (laughs)

    15. JR

      Yeah. Gay guys, they're hanging out with guys. I mean, I joked around about it in my special, like, I wi- that I wish I was gay-

    16. GF

      Yeah.

    17. JR

      ... 'cause, uh, it's... Like, if that's what you liked, like, you're hanging out with a bunch of guys.

    18. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    19. JR

      Sounds fun, as long as they're not annoying.

    20. GF

      Right.

    21. JR

      You know? Because an annoying, like... (sighs) An annoying girl is not as annoying as an annoying guy. Annoying guys can be real... They can be a real problem.

    22. GF

      Like, aggro annoying guys?

    23. JR

      Yeah.

    24. GF

      Yeah.

    25. JR

      They're the worst. They're worse than anything-

    26. GF

      Yeah. How much-

    27. JR

      ... 'cause you, you never feel comfortable.

    28. GF

      Yeah.

    29. JR

      You're, like, always in this state of, "Oh, God."

    30. GF

      They're always trying to one-up everybody.

  15. 30:1931:05

    drunk driving

    1. GF

      He crashed a car into a tree and died, and they brought him back to life.... be in the emergency room for weeks.

    2. JR

      Men are four times more drunk driving (laughs) ...

    3. NA

      (laughs)

    4. JR

      Four times more drunk driving related accidents than women. Drunk male drivers cause 80% of the drunk driving fatalities documented. Holy shit.

    5. GF

      Yeah.

    6. JR

      81% of people arrested for drunk driving were men, only 19% were women. How many of those women just had big tits? And they, "Ma'am, we'll- we'll take you home."

    7. NA

      (laughs)

    8. JR

      "Uh, you live by yourself?"

    9. NA

      (laughs)

    10. GF

      (Laughs) Yeah, cops have a weakness for drunk women, for sure.

    11. JR

      Oh, yeah.

    12. GF

      Yeah.

    13. JR

      Well, there's some fucking hilarious body cams out there of girls going, "I'll do anything. Please, please don't arrest me. I'll do anything."

    14. GF

      Yeah.

  16. 31:0532:38

    fake police interactions

    1. GF

      What was the one where she goes, uh, she goes, "Don't you wanna help out a pretty wim- pretty woman?" And he goes, "Well, if I see one, I'll help her out."

    2. JR

      (laughs)

    3. NA

      (laughs)

    4. GF

      You never saw that?

    5. JR

      I didn't see that one.

    6. GF

      Yeah.

    7. JR

      I never know how many of them are real these days.

    8. GF

      Yeah.

    9. JR

      Because I think these days there's a lot of people who fake police interactions and they do stuff for clout. They stage things for clout.

    10. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    11. JR

      They'll- they'll make a viral video of, like, a fake fight.

    12. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    13. JR

      People throwing things at each other, all for clout.

    14. GF

      I like the one with the fa- the father and the son. I- I- it- they always do these big crazy physical stunts where, like, they destroy the living room and have a fight and they scream at each other, but it's so real. I bought it the first two times, then I was like, "Oh no, they're not fighting this often this hard. They wouldn't still be living together."

    15. JR

      Right.

    16. GF

      But it's so funny.

    17. JR

      Oh, that's funny. Yeah, you can trick people today. There's a lot of, uh, fake stuff going on, you know?

    18. GF

      Yeah.

    19. JR

      A lot of faking... How many war footage videos were out and people go, "That's from a video game"?

    20. GF

      Yeah.

    21. JR

      Like, what?

    22. GF

      Well, I guess Faces of Death, a lot of those were fake.

    23. JR

      Yep. Yeah, a lot of them. The war footage stuff's crazy because that's how good the video games are.

    24. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    25. JR

      Those video games are so good today that you watch 'em, especially if you're looking at it on your phone-

    26. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    27. JR

      ... right? Like, especially my eyes. My eyes aren't that good and I'm looking at some fucking jet getting shot down.

    28. GF

      Yeah.

    29. JR

      I'm like, "Wow, that's crazy."

    30. GF

      Yeah.

  17. 32:3834:06

    AI nudes

    1. GF

      how much longer until, like, you know, the AI nudes are so fucking real-

    2. JR

      Oh, yeah.

    3. GF

      ... and now they're making AI nude videos, not just stills.

    4. JR

      Yeah. Well, they can do AI porn for sure.

    5. GF

      Yeah.

    6. JR

      I mean, I- I haven't seen it, but I- I'm sure it exists because they can do AI scenes with human beings that are indiscernible. You- you cannot tell. It's gon- Uh, the Sora, the newest technology, have you seen it?

    7. GF

      No.

    8. JR

      Google that. Well, bring that one up, Jamie, of the Tokyo street. So, they have this footage that is all just a prompt, right? So, they put in a prompt to this AI, like, um, drone footage of Tokyo Street while it's snowing, and this video is entirely fake and it looks exactly like someone flew a drone over Tokyo. The people are moving in random manners, they're moving at different speeds.

    9. GF

      Yeah.

    10. JR

      They look- they look natural.

    11. GF

      Right.

    12. JR

      Look at this. This is all fake, dude.

    13. NA

      This is even six months old. I think there's newer stuff now too.

    14. JR

      This is-

    15. NA

      So it's even better than this. Look at that.

    16. JR

      Yeah. So it's even better.

    17. GF

      Oh my God.

    18. JR

      This is insane. It's, look how good the texture looks on the snow, like on the-

    19. GF

      Yeah.

    20. JR

      ... how it varies.

    21. GF

      Yeah.

    22. JR

      I mean, look, all the people, the fucking, the- It's just wild, man.

    23. GF

      Yeah. Yeah.

    24. JR

      And this is the stuff that we know about. You know, this is the stuff, I mean, for sure they have some new version of this that they just haven't released to the public yet.

  18. 34:0635:06

    Tyler Perry

    1. JR

    2. GF

      Well, and also, uh, how it's affecting the entertainment business. Like Tyler Perry just was about-

    3. JR

      Yeah.

    4. NA

      Yeah.

    5. GF

      ... to build a billion dollar studio in Atlanta.

    6. JR

      It's because of that.

    7. GF

      And then he sa- No, and then he saw that, he canceled the plans. He's like, "What? We don't need-"

    8. JR

      Yeah.

    9. GF

      "... physical production any longer." What do you mean?

    10. JR

      Yeah, it was an $800 million facility he was putting down. He saw Sora. That's what he saw.

    11. GF

      Oh, okay.

    12. JR

      And they realized like, "Oh, we don't need any of this anymore."

    13. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    14. JR

      They're not gonna need actors either.

    15. GF

      Right.

    16. JR

      Which is like part of the strike was that they were trying to own the digital rights to a person. Like say if- if they paid you, you were a background extra, they don't wanna have to keep paying extras.

    17. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    18. JR

      So what, uh, we'll own all their faces.

    19. GF

      Yeah, they stand and they get shot-

    20. JR

      Yeah.

    21. GF

      ... in a green screen from like eight different angles-

    22. JR

      Right.

    23. GF

      ... for like a half an hour and then they own them for life.

    24. NA

      This is newer. This is 11 days old it says. It was posted by OpenAI.

    25. JR

      Jesus Christ, man.

    26. NA

      They're look- they're all looking at a UFO.

    27. (laughs)

    28. GF

      (laughs)

    29. JR

      This is bananas. This is completely bananas.

    30. GF

      Yeah.

  19. 35:0637:30

    All AI Generated

    1. JR

      generated.

    2. GF

      Not to mention the scripts are gonna be mostly AI generated.

    3. JR

      Oh yeah, 100%. But this- that's the thing I'm saying about this that when they're doing this stuff and like putting this stuff into a prompt, it's easy. It's like instantaneous.

    4. GF

      Yeah.

    5. JR

      And so what they were trying to do with these background... Like, imagine you're a background guy. Um, you know, you just moved to Hollywood. You know, you want to get work as an actor, so you decide to take a background gig in a movie.

    6. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    7. JR

      You sign this thing off, but then you wind up becoming successful. That's how almost all actors get started.

    8. GF

      Sure.

    9. JR

      They start as background people or work on the crew. They get auditions. That's Harrison Ford. He was a fucking carpenter, right?

    10. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    11. JR

      They don't, but they now they have your likeness-

    12. GF

      Yeah.

    13. JR

      ... for the rest of your life.

    14. NA

      Mm-hmm.

    15. JR

      And they can just shove you into movies. "Hey, why isn't Harrison Ford in that fucking movie?"

    16. GF

      Yeah.

    17. JR

      "Oh, well, Harrison Ford was an extra." You know?

    18. GF

      Wow.

    19. JR

      Yeah. Fuck that.

    20. GF

      So they don't need to shoot new stuff. They can use old footage of people.

    21. JR

      Dude, they don't need anything anymore. They could do John Wayne movies, but really sophisticated, like Tarantino John Wayne movie.

    22. GF

      Mm.

    23. JR

      Like, they could do that right now.

    24. GF

      Yeah.

    25. JR

      Like someone in AI using this program, we- maybe not now, maybe five months from now, can make a John Wayne Tarantino film. Like make a western, but in the style of Quentin Tarantino with the same type of dialogue.

    26. GF

      Uh-huh.

    27. JR

      ... like, that Robert Rodriguez would direct with him-

    28. GF

      Yeah.

    29. JR

      ... and put that together. And they could make it in the style of these g- They just look at Kill Bill, look at Reservoir Dogs. "Okay. We kinda know what he's into. Okay."

    30. GF

      Uh-huh.

  20. 37:3040:57

    Film vs Video

    1. GF

      time I got a high-def TV, it threw me. I was like, "This looks fake. This doesn't-"

    2. JR

      Everything looks fake.

    3. GF

      Yeah, everything was too much in my face. And, uh, I think Tarantino still shoots on film.

    4. JR

      Yeah, well-

    5. GF

      I think his films are all, all done on film.

    6. JR

      I think the problem with video is, it's too good.

    7. GF

      (laughs) Yeah.

    8. JR

      It's too good.

    9. GF

      Right.

    10. JR

      Like soap operas, like don't they shoot those on film or on video? If they shoot 'em on video, it's probably cheaper.

    11. GF

      I'm sure it's video, because the editing is so much easier. When you edit film, you have to convert it and then edit it and then you gotta convert it back again.

    12. JR

      Oof.

    13. GF

      And so, when you sh- Like, I've written on TV shows that were film, and first of all, you can't do as many takes in a row because you have to change the reels on the cameras.

    14. JR

      Yeah.

    15. GF

      So you get to get in, you know, two or three takes, then you gotta stop down for-

    16. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    17. GF

      ... five minutes and reload.

    18. JR

      I'm pretty sure Newsradio was film.

    19. GF

      Yeah, I'm sure it was.

    20. JR

      You know, 90%, and I think Fear Factor was not. I think-

    21. GF

      Usually multi-camera is when you're in a studio like a Everybody Loves Raymond or something like that.

    22. JR

      Right.

    23. GF

      That's, that's usually shot digitally.

    24. JR

      I think they tried to do it digitally, like one episode or something. God, maybe I'm remembering... Maybe it was something else I did. But I remember they were trying to make this transition, but people didn't like the way it looked. There was a video, an advertisement the other day, with Tom Cruise and someone else, and they were talking about the settings on your television. That if you have the settings on your television set, um, from the factory incorrectly, it can make these brilliant films look too much like video.

    25. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    26. JR

      Because of whatever funky, you know, shit they're doing to make the film l- the television look clearer and crisper.

    27. GF

      Right.

    28. JR

      Which is great in most things, but it's not great when you're watching a film that's been sort of designed to get you to focus on specific things-

    29. GF

      Yeah.

    30. JR

      ... and have the background more blurry.

  21. 40:5742:30

    New Suits

    1. NA

      I'm happy alone, don't you see? I've convinced you... I don't know why I get so dramatic about it. You're better off alone, man. I gotta... That's it, I'm gonna get a whole bunch of new suits. You know, I've had the same dumb suit for 10 years. You walk in her closet, you can't even breathe. (crowd laughs) That's it, I'll get a whole bunch of suits. I'll get a chick that likes to hang out, you know. Some... I'll get a... I'll have vodka parties, that's it. Vodka parties, swing it up, ball it up. I'll get a chick, I'll get a chick who likes to drink. Boy, my wife sure used to look good standing up against the sink. (crowd laughs) She's the lowest though. (crowd laughs)

    2. JR

      (laughs)

    3. NA

      I really put her down, though. No, I really miss her. I don't want some sharp chick that can quote Kerouac and walk with poise. I just wanna hear my old lady say, "Get up and fix the sink. It's still making noise." All alone. All alone. Like a nearsighted dog wears the bone.

    4. JR

      This isn't probably the best example. That, I don't know why you picked that, but the oldest version of him.

    5. GF

      I like that fucking suit.

    6. JR

      Yeah, it is a sharp suit.

    7. GF

      That is, uh, and all that shit-

    8. JR

      You know what's great? The Dustin Hoffman film where he plays him.

    9. GF

      Oh, yeah.

    10. JR

      He did a fucking phenomenal job.

    11. GF

      He did, yeah.

    12. JR

      He did a fucking phenomenal job. Dustin Hoffman nailed it.

    13. GF

      Hmm.

    14. JR

      He nailed

  22. 42:3046:43

    Joan Rivers

    1. JR

      it.

    2. GF

      It's tough to play a comedian when you're not a comedian. There's something-

    3. JR

      Yeah.

    4. GF

      ... you can't put your finger on about the rhythm of it.

    5. JR

      Well, you know they're faking it.

    6. GF

      Well, you know who's not bad, is... Have you seen that show Hacks?

    7. JR

      No.

    8. GF

      Jean Smart?

    9. JR

      No.

    10. GF

      She's fucking good.

    11. JR

      Yeah?

    12. GF

      She's a great actress. But she's, she re- she pulls it off.

    13. JR

      Well, the lady who did Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.

    14. GF

      Oh, yeah, yeah.

    15. JR

      She pulled it off.

    16. GF

      Yeah, yeah, yeah.

    17. JR

      She pulled it off.

    18. GF

      Yup.

    19. JR

      Yeah.

    20. GF

      That was Joan Rivers, it's based on basically, right?

    21. JR

      ... I don't know.

    22. GF

      It seems like it's the same time-

    23. JR

      It seems a little. I think maybe.

    24. GF

      Yeah.

    25. JR

      Maybe an influence, but I think it's a pretty unique-

    26. GF

      Well-

    27. JR

      ... fictional story of someone who's friends with Lenny Bruce.

    28. GF

      Hacks is definitely based on Joan Rivers.

    29. JR

      Oh, really?

    30. GF

      'Cause she has a whole QVC line and it's-

  23. 46:4347:48

    Being Yourself

    1. GF

      And it's always that same storyline every comedy, which, you know, like, there's an element of truth to it, but like, they- they're starting out, they've got a shtick and then somebody, an older person pulls them by and they go, "Hey man, you gotta just be yourself. You gotta use your own voice." And then all of a sudden they go up with no script.

    2. JR

      (laughs)

    3. GF

      But they just are themselves. I mean, they did it in Maisel.

    4. JR

      Yeah.

    5. GF

      But it's true. I mean, it is true to a certain extent, but they just hit it so hard.

    6. JR

      But she had material in Maisel.

    7. GF

      Yeah.

    8. JR

      She had a lot of shit that she... Was on her mind.

    9. GF

      She had stories. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

    10. JR

      And she wanted to tell those stories-

    11. GF

      Yeah.

    12. JR

      ... that she thought were hilarious.

    13. GF

      Yeah.

    14. JR

      That's a... That was a little different, but Punchline was just nonsense.

    15. GF

      Oh, my God.

    16. JR

      It was funny. (laughs)

    17. GF

      But, although I heard a story. You remember Lucien Holt from The Comic Strip?

    18. JR

      Look at the wall.

    19. GF

      Wait there. Oh, that's, uh, Taylor, uh-

    20. NA

      That's just the locker room I'll show you.

    21. GF

      Taylor something. He was r-... He was super talented.

    22. JR

      Yeah. He was a super nice guy too.

    23. GF

      Yeah.

    24. JR

      Fuck. What was his last name? He died a few years back.

    25. GF

      Yeah. Negron? Taylor Negron?

    26. JR

      That's it, that's it.

    27. GF

      Yeah.

    28. JR

      That's it. Funny dude.

    29. GF

      Yeah. Um, but-

    30. JR

      Very nice guy. Came up to me at The Improv one night and we had a cool conversation.

  24. 47:4848:51

    Lucian Holt

    1. GF

      Lucien Holt brought me to his apartment and, uh... Lucien Holt, by the way, I mean, some people... He had mixed feelings because anytime you're a club booker, you're gonna have a certain number of people that just are not a fan 'cause they didn't get passed.

    2. JR

      Oh, yeah.

    3. GF

      But Lucien was an amazing guy. He was a curator of Eddie Murphy, of Chris Rock. Like, he was the guy that brought people through The Strip. Adam Sandler.

    4. JR

      Yeah.

    5. GF

      And, uh, he brought me to his apartment one time and he had wall to wall video... This is back when everything was half inch V- uh, V-, you know, VHS tapes. Walls of everybody's first times.

    6. JR

      Wow.

    7. GF

      And so he showed me when Tom Hanks came in for Punchline. He only did stand up for, like, three nights and he came into The Strip and he did it. And I gotta be honest, like, he came in and he had some written material and he fucking did good and then someone heckled and he, like, annihilated them and then got back into the t- material. I was like, "Fuck this guy."

    8. JR

      This is him?

    9. NA

      Yeah.

    10. GF

      Oh, is that... Is that the tape?

    11. JR

      1987.

    12. GF

      Yeah.

    13. NA

      Fighting for the love of his son

  25. 48:5150:47

    Arm Wrestling

    1. NA

      by arm wrestling a bald guy, Stallone is back. (audience laughing) Stallone enters an arm wrestling competition. Now, do you think Stallone wins the competition by any chance? (audience laughing)

    2. ... is this the most exciting thing to make a movie about, arm wrestling? (growls)

    3. (laughs)

    4. You know. No, you, you know, you can bet this bald guy is gonna get Stallone over like this at some point, you know.

    5. (laughs)

    6. And then they're gonna have the- the- the close-up. The hand, the eye, the hand, the eye.

    7. (laughs)

    8. GF

      The first time.

    9. JR

      Pretty fucking good. Pretty fucking good.

    10. GF

      With the pauses.

    11. JR

      Yeah.

    12. GF

      Timing.

    13. NA

      ... as Sylvester Stallone closes the flashback sequence to his son. "Papi, Papi." Over the top. (growls)

    14. (laughs)

    15. This place is gonna go nuts.

    16. JR

      See, they should've used that in the movie.

    17. GF

      Exactly.

    18. JR

      So that was good.

    19. GF

      Make it look grainy.

    20. JR

      But, no, no, no, no. It doesn't have to be grainy.

    21. GF

      Yeah.

    22. JR

      But that, film him, film him actually doing standup.

    23. GF

      Yeah.

    24. JR

      That's what he should've done.

    25. GF

      Yeah.

    26. JR

      So it's not that he sucked-

    27. GF

      Uh-huh.

    28. JR

      ... 'cause right there he just did it. But he was at... Flip the top. Nobody knows how to use these goddamn things. It's amazing how many people you give them a Kolibri lighter and they just, "A who?"

    29. GF

      Well, it's like man discovering fire.

    30. JR

      (growls) So if they used that, I would've bought that movie. That would've been a much better movie.

  26. 50:4752:35

    The Comedy Store

    1. GF

      all the jokes?

    2. JR

      Did she do some jokes? Who?

    3. GF

      Uh, Barry Sobel.

    4. JR

      Did he do it on purposely bad? (laughs)

    5. GF

      No, I think they gave him like five minutes or something.

    6. JR

      And it was an inside joke. (laughs)

    7. GF

      Something, something. I don't know. But Barry-

    8. JR

      But he was in it.

    9. GF

      He used to kill it back then.

    10. JR

      Oh.

    11. GF

      Barry Sobel.

    12. JR

      Oh, yeah. When I first started coming to this store, he was one of the big names there.

    13. GF

      Yeah. He was on MTV a lot back then.

    14. JR

      I remember. That was the guy from Punchline. But it was a quite a while afterwards, right? So this is like '94 and that movie was like '88. And he was still kinda doing that same kinda character. And it... That was the weird thing about this store in '94. It's like, you know when a wave hits a shore and then pulls back, you see like driftwood and shit gets-

    15. GF

      (laughs)

    16. JR

      ... gets stuck on the beach?

    17. GF

      (laughs) That's a good metaphor.

    18. JR

      That was this store in '94.

    19. GF

      Yeah.

    20. JR

      Because Kinison was this wave. And Kinison and that movement was this wave that washed over comedy in Hollywood. And then Kinison left the store and then Kinison died in a car accident.

    21. GF

      Yeah.

    22. JR

      And then I came to the store like two years later. And it was like beach wood.

    23. GF

      Yeah.

    24. JR

      You know? It was like fucking driftwood and bottle caps and shit.

    25. GF

      Right.

    26. JR

      It's like there was a lot of guys there that should've not been doing standup anymore.

    27. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    28. JR

      They had been doing the same act for 30 years.

    29. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    30. JR

      It was weird. Bodaks. Go- like, I was like, "This is the Comedy Store?"

  27. 52:3554:42

    Robin Williams

    1. JR

    2. GF

      Yeah. He was in the crowd one night. I was at The Comedy Cellar. And he was in the crowd.

    3. JR

      Yeah.

    4. GF

      Just si- for some reason. He was, he was drunk. It was like he- he had had a lapse, and he started heckling me. But like in a playful way, like he wanted to like improv-

    5. JR

      Wanted to play.

    6. GF

      ... and fuck around. Yeah. So I, he, we, I did. I played with him. I couldn't bel-

    7. JR

      Wow.

    8. GF

      I don't know where I got it in me, but I was like shitting on him for being Mork from Ork.

    9. JR

      (laughs)

    10. GF

      And he was laughing. He didn't jump up on the stage, which would've been fucking sweet. But, uh, we, and then he hung out after. I met him a few times. Fucking sweetest guy in the world. And not at all how he is on stage. Like, very sweet.

    11. JR

      Yeah, very calm.

    12. GF

      Very, very minimal. Calm. Very- very much like interested in you, like ask you questions.

    13. JR

      Yeah. I met him once at the Improv and I didn't know I was talking to him until like a couple minutes into our conversation.

    14. GF

      Oh, shit.

    15. JR

      So I was... I did a show at the Improv. Then afterwards, I was taking pictures. So I was in the front bar and there's a line of people. I was just taking pictures, saying hi to people. And this guy comes up and he's- he's, he said, "That was really wonderful. I really, really loved this one bit." He's talking to me about this bit. He's like, "That bit where it's like, God, the courage to say that." And I'm like...

    16. GF

      (laughs)

    17. JR

      "This is Robin Williams."

    18. GF

      (laughs)

    19. JR

      Like 'cause he had a big white beard-

    20. GF

      Uh-huh.

    21. JR

      ... and a hat on, and I didn't realize. I go, "Oh, th- Well, thank you, man." I go, "I real- I really appreciate it. Thank... And thank you for coming." He goes, "Yeah, I really wanted to watch your set. It was really fun."

    22. GF

      Wow.

    23. JR

      And I was like, "Wow."

    24. GF

      That's pretty cool. Damn.

    25. JR

      It was cool. But I was like, this is the craziest thing is that he didn't introduce himself-

    26. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    27. JR

      ... "I'm Robin Williams." He waited in line. Nobody noticed that he was in line 'cause he had this big beard, a big beard and glasses and a hat on.

    28. GF

      Yeah.

    29. JR

      And it took me like... I was like, "Oh, shit." Super nice guy.

    30. GF

      Yeah.

  28. 54:4255:42

    Rick Overton

    1. JR

    2. GF

      He used to steal so much from, uh, Ric Overton that he was getting... He- he would just call his manager and be like, "He did it again," and they just cut him a check. But it was like, you know, uh, money doesn't cover it. That's your tool belt. That's taking somebody's-

    3. JR

      Not only that. I- i- it could be the difference between you making it and not making it, right?

    4. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    5. JR

      You can have one bit... Like sometimes for a comic, it's one bit that you base an entire career on.

    6. GF

      Yeah.

    7. JR

      And you have this one bit and this bit shows you that with the proper focus and a subject where you're really connected to it, you can come up with a banger.

    8. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    9. JR

      So I- I've, I can fuck... And you can headline and close with that.

    10. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    11. JR

      And if some guy just does that on TV, they have just ho-... hamstringed your act. Like, you don't have a closer anymore-

    12. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    13. JR

      ... and may- maybe you base other stuff on that bit. Like, maybe it's like, it point, you, you point to it at previous times, so that the end part is even funnier because it's kind of a callback, like ...

    14. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    15. NA

      Yeah.

    16. JR

      And you could, I've seen it happen to guys, where their career just, pbbt.

    17. GF

      Yeah.

    18. JR

      Just

  29. 55:4258:23

    Larry Miller

    1. JR

      tanked.

    2. GF

      You remember, uh, uh, Larry, Larry Miller's closing bit on the 10 stages, or how many stages of being drunk? He closed with that shit for years and people demanded it, because it was just a, it was an act-out, so you didn't get sick of seeing it.

    3. JR

      Right, right.

    4. GF

      And he honed it over the year, I mean, he's such a craftsman. He's such an exacting performer and, and such a precise writer. And then I saw some guy doing that bit and I was like, "Dude." I mean, I hate to bring up Mencia, but like, it was like that thing with Cosby, with the football thing, like-

    5. JR

      Yeah.

    6. GF

      ... like, dude, that's like exact.

    7. JR

      Not only that, it's a legendary bit.

    8. GF

      Yeah.

    9. JR

      That's what's crazy. But, but I think people did things before they understood the internet, because they didn't understand that there's gonna be real consequences. It's not just some people talking about things, it's a video that shows the bit by Cosby and then your bit-

    10. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    11. JR

      ... back to back.

    12. GF

      Yeah.

    13. JR

      You could, it, there's a thing that happened because of the internet, where it wasn't a rumor anymore. It was like you could just see it right in front of your face and go, "Oh, there's no way."

    14. GF

      Well, especially when it's more than one bit-

    15. JR

      Yes.

    16. GF

      And they put a compilation together-

    17. JR

      Sure.

    18. GF

      ... then it's like, wow.

    19. JR

      There's also, there's a thing that happens with those guys, where you see there's a stark contrast between the material they steal and the material they write themselves.

    20. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    21. JR

      Like, the material they write themselves just doesn't make any sense.

    22. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    23. JR

      It's like they're doing a caricature of the, the guy who was killing with the jokes with that same attitude. But now you have nothing connected to it, but you have all this confidence.

    24. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    25. JR

      But it doesn't make any sense.

    26. GF

      Mm-hmm.

    27. JR

      And when they get caught, then they have to do their own stuff. And you usually, it's a fucking drop off a cliff-

    28. GF

      Yeah.

    29. JR

      It's a drop off a cliff, the difference between the early stuff, where they weren't stealing, or they were stealing rather, and the later stuff where they have to write their own stuff.

    30. GF

      Well, also when you get guys that aren't just taking that, and not just guys, women obviously, uh-

  30. 58:231:09:58

    Perfect Club

    1. JR

    2. GF

      And it had, uh, they, they must've done comedy 30 years there easily.

    3. JR

      Oh, yeah.

    4. GF

      They've moved to a, they moved to a... It's funny because it's not as big of a place and it's connected to, like, a diner, but it's still kinda got the magic-

    5. JR

      Oh.

    6. GF

      ... of the old Punch Line.

    7. JR

      Well, that's great.

    8. GF

      Yeah, it's great. Atlanta crowds are, we did a nice theater in Atlanta one time.

    9. JR

      Yeah.

    10. GF

      Remember that?

    11. JR

      Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was fun.

    12. GF

      That was fun as shit.

    13. JR

      Yeah. Atlanta's great. It's a great comedy place.

    14. GF

      Yeah.

    15. JR

      It's, um, you know, it's, it sucks they had to lose that original spot, though. That original spot-

    16. GF

      I know.

    17. JR

      ... was so perfectly designed.

    18. GF

      I think it was literally crumbling by the end.

    19. JR

      Was it?

    20. GF

      Yeah, I think, I, it-

    21. JR

      Oh, the building was falling apart?

    22. GF

      ... I think it was a tear-down, yeah.

    23. JR

      (laughs)

    24. GF

      And I just like, there's something about old clubs where you really can feel the history.

    25. JR

      Oh, yeah, like Zanies, Zanies in Nashville.

    26. GF

      Zanies. Yeah.

    27. JR

      Yeah.

    28. GF

      Or The Punch Line in San Francisco.

    29. JR

      Yeah. Oh, yeah, you feel it in the walls.

    30. GF

      Denver Comedy Works.

Episode duration: 3:00:39

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