Joe Rogan Experience #2205 - Legion of Skanks

Joe Rogan 0:00 (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

Narrator 0:04 The Joe Rogan Experience.

Dave Smith 0:06 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (instrumental music plays) All right, well, boys, good to see you. What's happening?

Big Jay Oakerson 0:15 What's up? What's up, Joe?

Joe Rogan 0:16 Um, you have a little adventure coming over here.

Big Jay Oakerson 0:19 We did. We just stopped sweating.

Dave Smith 0:21 Got a little lost. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:21 Did the Uber driver dropped off at the wrong spot?

Big Jay Oakerson 0:23 This one might be on me.

Dave Smith 0:24 Nope, nope.

Big Jay Oakerson 0:24 About, about halfway- Uber dropped us off at the completely right spot-

Dave Smith 0:27 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 0:27 ... in his mind.

Dave Smith 0:28 And the, the amount that I cursed him because we thought it was the wrong spot. I mean, we spent about-

Joe Rogan 0:33 It's on me. That's on me because I should've got you guys the car service. We have the car service that takes guys all the... I figured you guys were already here. You had transportation-

Big Jay Oakerson 0:41 What was funny was when we were at about, I don't know, three-quarters into our three-quarter-mile walk here.

Joe Rogan 0:48 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 0:48 You sent somebody over to come get us, and he pulled up in a car. Uh, and he goes, he goes, "You guys for Joe, right?" And we said, "Yeah." And he goes, "Follow me," and then just drove away in the car.

Joe Rogan 0:58 (laughs)

Dave Smith 0:58 No way.

Joe Rogan 0:59 He didn't let us in.

Dave Smith 0:59 He didn't let us in.

Joe Rogan 1:00 No way. You know what? You were too sweaty.

Dave Smith 1:01 Yeah, that's what it was.

Joe Rogan 1:02 Ah.

Dave Smith 1:02 He had his shirt off still. You could see him glistening.

Joe Rogan 1:05 (laughs) His seat's too... He was like, "Fuck this."

Big Jay Oakerson 1:05 My eyes were gone because my hair product was in my eyes.

Dave Smith 1:07 He's like, "Hey, are you guys here for, for Joe Rogan? He told me to bring you this heat lamp."

Joe Rogan 1:11 Oh, god. (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 1:11 Here, you can carry that with you.

Joe Rogan 1:12 This sauna is ready when you get there.

Dave Smith 1:14 Get some pocket warmers, guys.

Big Jay Oakerson 1:15 Can you guys carry these kettle bells over to the studio?

Joe Rogan 1:17 But I was in Utah, where it was like 50 degrees, and then I came right here to L, to Austin, and it was like 98 when I got out of the car. I was like, "Yo, I forgot."

Dave Smith 1:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:25 "I forgot about this."

Dave Smith 1:26 Yeah, summer, summer doesn't end in Texas.

Joe Rogan 1:28 It lasts a long time, but it does get winter here.

Dave Smith 1:31 Eventually.

Joe Rogan 1:31 And it's hilarious-

Dave Smith 1:33 They shut it down.

Joe Rogan 1:33 ... when the, the Austin people don't know what the fuck to do when it snows out.

Dave Smith 1:37 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 1:37 There's no infrastructure at all.

Dave Smith 1:38 I got stuck in Houston for maybe four or five days because they had, I mean, I wanna say a light flurry, and there was a little bit of ice, but Texas doesn't have like, uh, you know, like trucks-

Joe Rogan 1:47 No plows.

Dave Smith 1:48 No salt trucks, no nothing.

Big Jay Oakerson 1:49 No salt.

Joe Rogan 1:49 When we had the big freeze the first year I moved here, they did nothing.

Big Jay Oakerson 1:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:53 They did nothing. They just let it thaw.

Dave Smith 1:55 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 1:55 I, I, when my fl-

Joe Rogan 1:57 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 1:57 I was the la- I was the one flight that was able to get out one time to go to, uh, Dallas for a gig. And they had like, it was three inches of snow, but the whole place shuts down. And the, thank God, because the car that picked me up to drive me to the hotel that night, if there was other cars on the road, dude, it would've been ping-ponging.

Dave Smith 2:13 Dude.

Big Jay Oakerson 2:13 Every time he stopped, the car would like turn sideways complete-

Dave Smith 2:16 (laughs) Slowly.

Big Jay Oakerson 2:16 But he was just calm because there was nobody else on the road, so it didn't really matter.

Joe Rogan 2:19 Tell me the sketchiest feeling is not when you're in like Edmonton or some shit, and they have to spray that stuff on the wings.

Big Jay Oakerson 2:26 Oh, yeah, de-icer.

Joe Rogan 2:27 The de-icer in the wings.

Dave Smith 2:28 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:28 And you're like, "Yo, like there's a real..." Because it's kind of a misty, freezing rain thing going on. You're like, "There's a real possibility, like, uh, you know, fucking one in 1,000, one in 100,000 chance that those fucking things aren't gonna go up."

Big Jay Oakerson 2:45 I-

Joe Rogan 2:45 "Because they're frozen stuck, so they have to spray it."

Dave Smith 2:48 And what would happen if those things didn't go up?

Joe Rogan 2:49 You're fucked.

Dave Smith 2:50 Is that it?

Joe Rogan 2:50 There's no control of the plane.

Big Jay Oakerson 2:51 (laughs) I just don't, I don't wanna know anything.

Dave Smith 2:53 I know.

Big Jay Oakerson 2:53 I'm like-

Dave Smith 2:53 They got a backup for that.

Big Jay Oakerson 2:54 That's my thing. I always, I remember talking to, I think it was Ben Bailey years ago, and I was like, "You know, it's so funny, the more I fly, the more I'm afraid of flying somehow." I go, "But I have to just assume planes are designed that, like, if all fails, like they're designed to kind of be able to, be able to be glided to safety."

Joe Rogan 3:11 You should look into that.

Big Jay Oakerson 3:11 And he was like, "No, if you lose all the engines," he goes, "No, if you lose all the engines, it nosedives directly to the ground."

Dave Smith 3:15 Well, that why it was such a big deal-

Joe Rogan 3:16 Yeah.

Dave Smith 3:16 ... the miracle on the Hudson. It was a miracle that the guy was able to land the plane when the engines went out, right? The, the geese went-

Joe Rogan 3:21 And that's because that guy was like a real serious pilot.

Dave Smith 3:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:24 That guy really knew how to fucking fly a plane. Like, he was a real hero.

Big Jay Oakerson 3:28 I love the argument he's not a hero. I love the argument that he's not. It always makes me laugh. They're like, "He did his job." He goes, "Sure."

Dave Smith 3:33 Well, he's-

Big Jay Oakerson 3:34 (laughs) But I mean, like-

Joe Rogan 3:34 Listen, if he was a trans woman-

Big Jay Oakerson 3:37 ... it was survival on his own.

Joe Rogan 3:37 If he was a-

Dave Smith 3:38 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 3:38 Oh.

Joe Rogan 3:38 If he was a trans woman from a third world country, he'd be the greatest hero of all time.

Dave Smith 3:42 I remember when it landed, I was rooting for him to be drunk.

Big Jay Oakerson 3:46 (laughs)

Dave Smith 3:46 Like, I just wanted him to come out and say, "I fucking did it."

Joe Rogan 3:49 On coke.

Big Jay Oakerson 3:50 I also wish there was like, uh, like a, a drag queen that would do something heroic so everyone's gotta praise the things of like, you know, like Cunt Lips Thunder Tits.

Joe Rogan 3:59 (laughs)

Dave Smith 3:59 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 3:59 They always got stupid names.

Joe Rogan 4:02 How weird is it that, that it's an argument whether or not drag queens should be reading books to kids?

Big Jay Oakerson 4:09 It's...

Joe Rogan 4:10 (laughs)

Dave Smith 4:10 What's the upside of that?

Joe Rogan 4:11 Yeah, like why... Wh- whose idea was this?

Big Jay Oakerson 4:15 Yeah, because-

Joe Rogan 4:15 Can we talk to the first person who came up with this idea? Like what, what is-

Big Jay Oakerson 4:19 You go, "Do you know what kids are lacking these days?" "The most aggressive gays yelling at them."

Dave Smith 4:23 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:25 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 4:25 Sit and listen to the story, honey.

Joe Rogan 4:27 But it, at the very least, I've met some very nice drag queens, but at the very least, it's an odd choice that might be one that someone's out of their fucking mind chooses. It's a possibility, right? It's not zero.

Big Jay Oakerson 4:39 Oh, absolutely. Well, I went to one.

Dave Smith 4:41 It's also like, it's like a, it's almost like a... We, we actually did a sketch. We did a thing called Legion of Sketch where we performed dirty comedy to kids in a library, and that was the whole point is that we were like, you know, you know, it's an adult job. You know what I'm saying? It's not meant for little kids. So somebody wearing makeup, and even though it's not inherently sexual what they're doing in that moment, it's like, what they're, their whole thing is meant for a nightclub for adults. Well, it's like the people who defend it, they always go, "I don't know. Have you ever been to one? Like, it's just a guy in a dress reading a story. It doesn't have to be weird." But then you're like, "You know what would be even less weird? Is a guy not in a dress reading a story."

Big Jay Oakerson 5:15 Or just a teacher.

Dave Smith 5:16 Yeah, just like whoever the person happens to be.

Joe Rogan 5:18 So I guess the argument for it would be this is what makes these people happy, and we should normalize the fact that they want to dress up like very flamboyant women. We should normalize. That's the, the argument-

Big Jay Oakerson 5:29 If you were doing porn if you weren't happy-

Joe Rogan 5:30 If you wanted to like-

Big Jay Oakerson 5:31 ... you shouldn't have porn stars reading books to kids either.

Dave Smith 5:32 Yeah, for what?

Joe Rogan 5:33 Right. But if you wanted to take the other side's position, like what would you say? You would say, "Hey, this is fine to do that. It's fine to do that." But-... it's still a biological man, who's dressed up like a woman, who's reading things to kids. It's still, it's like the odds of this being 100% (laughs) like-

Luis J. Gomez 5:53 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:53 ... really rational, fascinating person-

Luis J. Gomez 5:55 Well-

Joe Rogan 5:55 ... is gonna read books to your kid, or someone who's out of their fucking mind. There's, it's not like a 0% thing. It's like something you should be kind of concerned about.

Luis J. Gomez 6:02 If it was a-

Joe Rogan 6:03 Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 6:03 ... stripper reading books to a kid, uh, I, I, don't think-

Joe Rogan 6:05 Or an ex-convict.

Luis J. Gomez 6:06 Yeah. You would just go like, yeah, it's just not like... It, it, the, the whole thing that's interesting about it is you take this fish out of water, and I just don't think you should be experimenting with kids.

Joe Rogan 6:13 How about guys on parole for violent crimes? How about have them read to kids? How about-

Luis J. Gomez 6:18 They give them, they give them puppies now.

Big Jay Oakerson 6:19 'Cause guys can't read.

Joe Rogan 6:19 How about corrupt, corrupt politicians? Have them read to kids. How about-

Luis J. Gomez 6:23 That one I, that I object to the most.

Joe Rogan 6:25 How about CEOs who have been arrested for embezzlement? How about them reading to kids?

Luis J. Gomez 6:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:28 How about all kinds of like-

Big Jay Oakerson 6:30 My kid's laughing while a guy can't read to them. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:31 ... maybe cool, maybe cool, but maybe super fucking sketchy people-

Luis J. Gomez 6:35 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:35 ... reading stories to kids?

Luis J. Gomez 6:36 But-

Joe Rogan 6:36 You know, there's a lot, we could go with a lot of folks.

Big Jay Oakerson 6:38 It's reading time with Deshawn.

Luis J. Gomez 6:40 Right. I don't know, dude, I was, uh-

Big Jay Oakerson 6:41 M- M- M- M- M- Mary.

Joe Rogan 6:42 People convicted of violent assault, but they, they wouldn't do it again. It was a bad move.

Luis J. Gomez 6:46 Dude, I-

Joe Rogan 6:46 Have them read to kids. (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 6:48 I was on one of those apps to hire a babysitter, uh, recently. And it's, it's a very weird... I'd never done it before. And it's almost like, it's almost like a dating app, like you're like swiping left and right, but it's on, for babysitters for your kids.

Big Jay Oakerson 7:00 See his pictures. (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 7:01 And I will say, and I'm on the legion of skanks, I'm a comedian, I hang out in a pretty seedy world, but it is amazing how judgmental you get when you're just judging a person off their face over whether they're gonna watch your kids.

Joe Rogan 7:13 Oh, yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 7:13 You're just like, nose ring, you're a freak. You'll never be, you'll never be more racist. (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 7:18 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 7:18 Not racist. (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 7:18 Tattoos on the face is a no-go, okay?

Luis J. Gomez 7:20 Yeah, but just-

Joe Rogan 7:21 It's not like being an MMA fighter. (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 7:22 Yeah, it's like, you might be cool, you might be a cool person, but-

Joe Rogan 7:25 Like Sugar Sean O'Malley could pull it off, Post Malone could pull it off.

Luis J. Gomez 7:29 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:29 But not the fucking babysitter.

Luis J. Gomez 7:30 I'm considering getting a tattoo on my face at Skankfest.

Big Jay Oakerson 7:33 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:33 Like how about if there was... That's a good idea.

Big Jay Oakerson 7:34 That's the one we said.

Luis J. Gomez 7:35 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:35 How about if there was guys with tattoos on their faces that wanted to read stories to kids? Would that be cool? Who would be cool with that?

Luis J. Gomez 7:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:41 Guys with tattoos... If it was Post Malone, you'd be like, "Of course, he's so cool. Let him read the stories to kids, that'd be really fun."

Big Jay Oakerson 7:49 But wouldn't you be weirded out if your kids had like a face tattoo teacher at all?

Luis J. Gomez 7:52 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 7:52 Yeah, I'd be weirded out.

Big Jay Oakerson 7:54 Uh...

Luis J. Gomez 7:54 I would not, I would not like that.

Joe Rogan 7:55 Not that it... Listen, like Jelly Roll is the coolest motherfucker alive.

Luis J. Gomez 7:58 Sure.

Joe Rogan 7:58 He's got face tattoos. There's a lot of people that do them and wish they didn't do them, or do them and are happy with them and like them. It's cool.

Big Jay Oakerson 8:06 No, I'm not saying you should be-

Joe Rogan 8:07 But the possibility of you being out of your fucking mind is in there.

Big Jay Oakerson 8:11 No, no, absolutely.

Joe Rogan 8:12 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 8:12 But I also just mean-

Luis J. Gomez 8:13 It's a hard argument.

Big Jay Oakerson 8:13 I also just the idea that like, I'm not, like, even like I said, Post, I don't think a teacher with face tattoos might be the best teacher like in the world. I just think it's like, as a parent, you'd walk in and be like, "What is this motherfucker's deal?"

Joe Rogan 8:24 It's possible that they could be though.

Luis J. Gomez 8:26 They might be, they might be the best teacher-

Big Jay Oakerson 8:28 They have to be so good in spite of it.

Luis J. Gomez 8:29 Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 8:30 They have to go so far above and beyond.

Joe Rogan 8:32 Right, right, right.

Luis J. Gomez 8:32 If someone with a face tattoo is an excellent teacher, then let them teach inmates.

Joe Rogan 8:37 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 8:37 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 8:37 But stay away from my children. I don't have time for this.

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Luis J. Gomez 9:45 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 9:45 Like if my, if my kids' teacher had a sleeve, I'd be like, "Oh, the teacher's cool."

Luis J. Gomez 9:47 But I think 30 years ago, they probably did.

Big Jay Oakerson 9:49 Absolutely.

Luis J. Gomez 9:49 If you showed up as a teacher-

Joe Rogan 9:51 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 9:51 ... 30 years ago, people are like, "What the fuck is this guy doing?"

Big Jay Oakerson 9:53 Oh, yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 9:54 "Okay, Biker Bob, get the fuck out of my classroom."

Joe Rogan 9:54 Now it is a sign of cool.

Big Jay Oakerson 9:56 If you see someone with like a button down shirt and like this part of the arm you see is completely done, you're like, "All right."

Luis J. Gomez 10:01 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 10:01 "Quite cool guy."

Joe Rogan 10:01 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 10:01 But still, I think there's probably, it's probably conservative America would still feel like a little weird about somebody with a sleeve teaching their-

Joe Rogan 10:06 Well-

Luis J. Gomez 10:06 ... little girl in kindergarten.

Joe Rogan 10:08 As, as a representative of conservative America here, I will say I was at my daughter's, uh, T-ball game, and there was one of the moms, pregnant, and one of her kids is in the T-ball game, and she's in shorts and just has two leg sleeve tattoos. Now, I'm... No judgment. Uh, it was fine, but there was something where I was like, "It's just a little odd." Like, that's our generation. Let's go, champ. Let's go, champ.

Big Jay Oakerson 10:31 I'm judging the town for letting a girl play T-ball.

Luis J. Gomez 10:33 Yeah, it's crazy.

Joe Rogan 10:34 Ah.

Luis J. Gomez 10:35 It is. It's dangerous.

Joe Rogan 10:36 I'm judging you for coming out as conservative. (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 10:39 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 10:39 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:39 There, there, I now, I now... Joe, uh, this is my new grift. I am now Mister Conservative.

Luis J. Gomez 10:43 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:43 We got to get Trump elected.

Big Jay Oakerson 10:44 You've given up on this libertarian stuff?

Joe Rogan 10:46 There's no money in it, I figured out.

Big Jay Oakerson 10:48 There's definitely no money in it, but that's why they let it exist.

Luis J. Gomez 10:51 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 10:51 Because there's no money.

Joe Rogan 10:52 You know, if there was another legitimate party that was actually challenging to the Democrats and the Republicans, they would attack it. They don't say a peep about the libertarians. Those are... In their eyes, the libertarians are just vote stealers from the Republicans.

Luis J. Gomez 11:03 Yeah, they were mad when Trump came this year. But aside from that, they don't really. They don't see us as a threat.

Joe Rogan 11:08 Yeah, it's a, they don't... No political party gets mad at the libertarians.

Luis J. Gomez 11:12 No, but it was-

Joe Rogan 11:12 They're fucking furious at the Republicans. The Republicans are furious at the Democrats. Nobody gives a fuck what the libertarians say.

Luis J. Gomez 11:19 Including me. I agree.

Big Jay Oakerson 11:20 Dave speaking at the thing-

Joe Rogan 11:22 Oh.

Big Jay Oakerson 11:22 ... was the funniest when he goes, "Donald Trump's gonna come up here and we're gonna show him that we know how to act and behave."

Luis J. Gomez 11:27 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 11:28 "And because we are the right party." And he went up there right away and they were like, "Fuck you, you fucking pussy."

Luis J. Gomez 11:32 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 11:33 "Get out of here."

Joe Rogan 11:33 Well, I knew, I literally-

Big Jay Oakerson 11:34 "You're a murderer and rapist."

Joe Rogan 11:35 I got offstage and I passed by, uh, Angela McArdle, who's the chair of the, uh, Libertarian Party, and I walked right by her and I went, "0% chance they listen." (clears throat) And just went by her and go, "Now let's go watch the shit show, 'cause this is gonna be ridiculous." (laughs) So how bad- how much of a shit show was it? Oh, it was awful.

Luis J. Gomez 11:50 ... I mean, just the worst-

Joe Rogan 11:52 I only watched, like, a little bit of it.

Luis J. Gomez 11:53 So I went... I w- they kicked me out of backstage, uh, 'cause it's, like, a Secret Service, like, checkpoint thing or whatever, 'cause they're real on top of that. Not so big on people with rifles on buildings. But they got me out of there. And so I go out and I come back around in the main room, and I'm just... I walk into the middle of just all the people, like, "Boo! Aah!" And so... And, uh, one of 'em... At one point, Trump goes... He goes, "I fired Comey," and one of the libertarians goes, "'Cause he was, uh, 'cause he was onto you." And I just turned to him-

Joe Rogan 12:23 Ew.

Luis J. Gomez 12:24 ... and I went, I went, "That's not even the right heckle."

Joe Rogan 12:27 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 12:27 And then the guy goes, "Oh, what's the right heckle?" (laughs) I was like, "I can't, I can't give it to you right now."

Joe Rogan 12:32 Well, the Comey-

Luis J. Gomez 12:33 It was a wild scene.

Joe Rogan 12:33 The Comey thing was... Wh- what were they... They're alleging, first of all, that the Clinton campaign was spying on the Trump campaign, right?

Luis J. Gomez 12:43 Yeah. It was, it was after that. They... He was trying to blackmail him, and fucking Trump caught onto that.

Joe Rogan 12:48 Really?

Luis J. Gomez 12:49 So he fired him. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 12:52 For sure?

Luis J. Gomez 12:53 Yeah. No.

Joe Rogan 12:53 Are you... How do you know?

Luis J. Gomez 12:55 So, okay. So if you... Oh, here we go, guys.

Joe Rogan 12:57 Here we go. (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 12:58 All right. So you, you know how, like, uh-

Big Jay Oakerson 13:00 Dave Chappelle.

Luis J. Gomez 13:00 Well, no.

Big Jay Oakerson 13:00 You know, we all heard about the Jets. Then he came in and he goes, "P. Diddy definitely fucked everybody and, and did this, and raped everyone." And then we're like, "Well, how do you know?" He's like, "Ugh, I read."

Joe Rogan 13:11 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 13:12 Not really. It doesn't really mean anything. You're always reading somebody else's numbers.

Luis J. Gomez 13:15 You read that in a book?

Joe Rogan 13:16 So what is-

Luis J. Gomez 13:17 But that's what you can do in comedy, is that is enough to checkmate most comedians.

Joe Rogan 13:21 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 13:21 (laughing) Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 13:21 He goes, "I read." And you go, "He does read. All right."

Big Jay Oakerson 13:24 You're not wrong.

Joe Rogan 13:25 Yeah. Well, it's also... It's just a funny thing to say because-

Big Jay Oakerson 13:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:28 ... you could also be, like, admitting the ridiculousness of it yourself-

Big Jay Oakerson 13:32 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:32 ... while saying, "I read." You know? Because-

Luis J. Gomez 13:34 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:34 ... it's kind of an admission. Like, I'm not there. I didn't go to the freak out.

Big Jay Oakerson 13:37 If anybody goes, "Who was there?" Yeah, I wonder if somebody came and goes, "I went to one of these parties and, man, P. Diddy was like, 'If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go fuck Meek Mill in the butt.'" But, like, uh, that's never gonna happen. No one comes out and says that.

Joe Rogan 13:47 So if you're... Like, if you're looking at that, what... Like, what makes you conclude that he definitely was doing that?

Luis J. Gomez 13:55 Uh, because he basically... The first time they ever met, uh, he presented him with the, the Steele dossier, which had all of the, like, dirt.

Joe Rogan 14:03 That's the pee-pee stuff, right?

Luis J. Gomez 14:04 Yeah, all the pee-pee shit in it. Or I shouldn't say shit. There was no shit alleged, just piss. Uh-

Big Jay Oakerson 14:09 Russian piss.

Luis J. Gomez 14:11 Yes. Alleged Russian piss. (laughs) Yes. Yeah. That's the aspect they want to make sure-

Big Jay Oakerson 14:16 Is that what collusion- is that what collusion means?

Luis J. Gomez 14:18 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 14:20 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 14:20 Something like that. And then-

Joe Rogan 14:22 They just play so dirty. They play dirty like a movie.

Luis J. Gomez 14:26 It's, it's pretty crazy.

Big Jay Oakerson 14:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:29 It's, it's really wild.

Luis J. Gomez 14:30 I don't know. I mean, did you see-

Joe Rogan 14:32 That's, that was the number one fear of having these big agencies have so much power, is that they would never wanna relinquish it. They would never wanna say, like, "Hey, look, we're patriots. I think we should follow by the rule of the Constitution and let the people decide," like... (laughs) The... It's like everything else, man. Once you start running shit, you don't wanna stop.

Luis J. Gomez 14:50 Well, I've seen friends of mine have way less power go to their head.

Joe Rogan 14:53 It's weird, right?

Luis J. Gomez 14:54 I wouldn't trust these two with power.

Joe Rogan 14:56 But it is a weird thing to watch, right?

Luis J. Gomez 14:58 Yes, it's bizarre.

Joe Rogan 15:00 Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 15:01 That's, that's, that's human beings though, man.

Joe Rogan 15:02 Now, imagine that, but with no showbiz. No showbiz. So you're getting that rush, but now the rush is controlling the world.

Big Jay Oakerson 15:11 Well, isn't that kinda-

Luis J. Gomez 15:11 Yeah, it's like the way we feel about, like, crushing on stage is the way Hillary Clinton feels about crushing Libya, but it's just like, "Who in the hell is-"

Joe Rogan 15:17 We came, we saw, he died. Shit, I fucking crushed. (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 15:21 Wasn't that L. Ron Hubbard though? L. Ron Hubbard was like, "Hey, this will be funny. I'll start this and, and go into this, start a religion." And then, like, years later, he said when his friends he told that to hit him up, like, "This is crazy, dude. You did it." He's like... You know, like, "You, you ran that scam." And he's like, "Scam?" You better get your thietin' levels checked if you're gonna say it's his. Like, he just started eating his own shit 'cause, like, uh...

Joe Rogan 15:41 Well, he was, uh... Do you know that he's the most prolific writer in human history?

Big Jay Oakerson 15:46 Sci-fi wise, yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:47 More fiction-

Big Jay Oakerson 15:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:49 ... than any other human being ever.

Luis J. Gomez 15:51 More than Stephen King?

Joe Rogan 15:52 More than anybody.

Big Jay Oakerson 15:52 In one Bible.

Joe Rogan 15:53 Dude, more than anybo- And not a second draft amongst them. Everything he wrote was nonsense. (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 16:00 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:00 Everything he wrote was hot nonsense. If you read it, it's like these are the dumbest stories.

Big Jay Oakerson 16:06 Well, do you remember the Dianetics commercials?

Joe Rogan 16:08 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 16:08 Do you remember the commercials with the-

Luis J. Gomez 16:09 Yep.

Joe Rogan 16:10 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 16:10 ... uh, the volcano, like, the lava was going off?

Joe Rogan 16:12 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 16:12 And it just gave you, like, like, the most generalized things anyone feels. He goes, "Are you sometimes tired and sometimes awake?"

Luis J. Gomez 16:19 You did it-

Big Jay Oakerson 16:19 But nothing was... It was just, like, vague. It was so, so vague.

Luis J. Gomez 16:20 You did it before, right, Louis? The... When they had the test sometimes go down, people-

Joe Rogan 16:23 In Times Square. In Times Square, I've done it.

Dave Smith 16:23 'Cause I... You just... It was just kinda cool. I was, like, a dumb kid. So they were like, "Hey, do you want us to test your stress levels?" I was like, "Boy, do I." (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 16:30 (laughs)

Dave Smith 16:30 And I went over and I held these dumb things, and they're like, "You're-

Big Jay Oakerson 16:33 The ones that go like that?

Dave Smith 16:34 Yeah. They're like, "You're stressed." And I was like, "I am, right?"

Big Jay Oakerson 16:36 (laughs)

Dave Smith 16:36 They're like, "Come on inside."

Big Jay Oakerson 16:37 (laughs)

Dave Smith 16:37 They brought me into this weird thing, and they tried to sell me a book. I don't really remember.

Joe Rogan 16:40 I did that too, and I did that in San Diego. I was down there filming something, and we were in the park. And it was, like, at a time where I could... A lot of people didn't know who I am, and I could sneak in. And I sat down at this guy's table, and he gave me the emeter, and I put my hands in the things, and he told me what ha- what it was reading. I'm like, "How does this thing function? Like, what is it... What is it reading off my bo-" And the dude was like, "Oh, I don't wanna explain." He didn't wanna really be there.

Big Jay Oakerson 17:01 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 17:02 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:02 He's just a member who got roped into doing this thing. He had zero enthusiasm about the sale.

Dave Smith 17:06 Oh, they, yeah, they're like the s- they have the street team job for-

Luis J. Gomez 17:08 It's the lowest level.

Dave Smith 17:09 It's the lowest level job you could have, where it's having to go out and bark people into your church.

Joe Rogan 17:13 Have you guys, uh, read Lawrence Wright's book about it?

Luis J. Gomez 17:17 What?

Big Jay Oakerson 17:17 I don't think so.

Joe Rogan 17:18 Um, it's called Going Clear.

Big Jay Oakerson 17:20 Oh, I saw the documentary, yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:22 The documentary, the HBO thing? Yeah, it's... The book is aw-... The documentary basically tells you all you need to hear, but it's-

Big Jay Oakerson 17:27 Thank God.

Dave Smith 17:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:27 It's so str-

Big Jay Oakerson 17:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:29 It's such a strange religion. But here's the thing about it, man. Th- this is what's weird about religions. It's... This is my... You know, I'm a moron, but I, I occasionally have these moments where I'm like, "I think I know what the fuck is going on."If you really believe it, it benefits your life. Even if it's hot nonsense. (laughs)

Dave Smith 17:49 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 17:49 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:49 Even if it's a 14-year-old kid who finds golden tablets that contain the lost work of Jesus, and only he can read it because he has a magic rock.

Dave Smith 17:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:57 But if you get enough of those people, they make great neighbors.

Big Jay Oakerson 18:00 (laughs)

Dave Smith 18:01 Aw.

Joe Rogan 18:01 Like, it fucking works, man.

Dave Smith 18:02 I'll tell you, though, they just want their kids to go to school.

Joe Rogan 18:04 Like, is it better ... But here's my question, is it better to be an atheist, and to be this person who just, like, objectively looks at the s- at the world and, like, "None of this makes sense. There's no way there could be a God. I think when you die, you die," and that guy's fucking miserable.

Big Jay Oakerson 18:17 It's, it-

Joe Rogan 18:18 That guy's taking medication and all of his friends think he's annoying.

Dave Smith 18:22 I think believing-

Big Jay Oakerson 18:22 I mean, I'm, I'm a devout atheist, and you're right about all that. (laughs)

Dave Smith 18:26 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:26 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 18:27 (laughs)

Dave Smith 18:28 I ... Do you, you believe, like, in a higher power?

Joe Rogan 18:30 No, no. I, I, I don't not believe. I believe-

Dave Smith 18:34 That's what my girlfriend says when I ask her.

Joe Rogan 18:35 ... that I, I believe there's more to the universe and more to life than we can think of through our narrow field of perception. That's what I think. I think there's more to human contact and interaction than just two people talking to each other. I think there's a thinly veiled reality that we live in, where we express our souls to each other. That's what I think. And I think it's a very complicated and confusing thing that's fucked up by lies and deception and violence and war.

Dave Smith 19:03 Well, so many of them, I think.

Joe Rogan 19:04 And it's enhanced by friendship and love and communication. And it's this weird v- w- there's a thing going on that's beyond just, like, you're born and you die. And if that thing keeps going when the physical body stops existing, I wouldn't be surprised.

Dave Smith 19:22 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 19:22 I think, uh, religion is the always the funniest to dial back to, though. 'Cause all the organized stuff, you were doing the Joe Smith story, finds the tablets or the plates-

Joe Rogan 19:31 Right, right, right. (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 19:31 ... and everything. Like, that'd be more of a religion that was like, like a d- a pitched by a dude to a bunch of dudes.

Joe Rogan 19:38 Well, this is a kid.

Big Jay Oakerson 19:39 Guys, turns out, we could have a whole bunch of, whole bunch of chicks-

Joe Rogan 19:43 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 19:43 ... and they always have to live next to each other. And then you, you fuck one this night and then the other night-

Dave Smith 19:46 Well, it was like, wasn't it, like, they were, they were, like, it was, like, racist up until, like, 30 years ago? They were like black people were, like, the seed of the devil or whatever.

Joe Rogan 19:52 (laughs)

Dave Smith 19:52 And then they changed it. They're like, "No, no, no. They're cool now."

Joe Rogan 19:54 Did they? Did they really?

Big Jay Oakerson 19:54 You can't be racist when your women are bearded.

Dave Smith 19:57 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 19:57 You ever see Sister Wives?

Dave Smith 19:58 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 19:58 It's not like you're stoked to have three of them.

Joe Rogan 20:00 (laughs)

Dave Smith 20:01 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 20:01 Yeah, but, dude, two, two fours is an eight, so.

Joe Rogan 20:03 When you know the guy who wrote it, that's when shit gets sketchy.

Dave Smith 20:07 Yeah, there is something about, like-

Big Jay Oakerson 20:08 (laughs)

Dave Smith 20:08 ... when it's from thousands of years ago-

Big Jay Oakerson 20:10 Too recent, actually. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:11 Yeah.

Dave Smith 20:11 ... it's easy to go, like, "Look, there was a burning bush."

Joe Rogan 20:13 Yeah.

Dave Smith 20:13 "And God spoke to this guy." And you're like, "When?" Like, "5000 years ago." You're like, "All right, fine." But when you're just like, "Three Wednesdays ago, it happened." You're like, "I'm not buying that."

Big Jay Oakerson 20:22 That's like, yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:22 There's enough stories that are similar about the ancient stories of, like, apocalypses. Like, the stuff about, like, the Epic of Gilgamesh is real similar to Noah and the Ark. There's enough of those stories-

Dave Smith 20:33 Yeah, that, like, Jesus was, like ... They keep on just re-describing him-

Joe Rogan 20:36 Mm-hmm.

Dave Smith 20:36 ... from, like, thousands of years before Jesus was around, that story of him being the son of God and all that other stuff.

Big Jay Oakerson 20:40 The virgin mother, the-

Joe Rogan 20:41 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 20:42 It's a bunch of other ... He's a black woman now.

Dave Smith 20:43 Yep.

Big Jay Oakerson 20:44 (laughs)

Dave Smith 20:45 Jesus is trans.

Big Jay Oakerson 20:46 Jesus is a black woman.

Joe Rogan 20:47 He could've been, he could've been an alien.

Big Jay Oakerson 20:49 Jesus?

Joe Rogan 20:50 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 20:51 Sure.

Joe Rogan 20:51 Like, like if ... Like, this is not saying that-

Dave Smith 20:52 That's the most Joe Rogan sentence I've ever heard.

Big Jay Oakerson 20:54 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:54 It could've been.

Big Jay Oakerson 20:54 Jesus could've been an alien.

Joe Rogan 20:55 If there was, like, someone-

Big Jay Oakerson 20:56 Get that merch, Brad.

Joe Rogan 20:56 ... someone who came here and didn't make any sense that he was born, and he just existed but knew everything, and was the son of God and was trying to straighten everybody out, and then they kill him. It was like, "All right, we tried." It lit- literally could be an alien. I mean, if you're thinking about what ... how long ago this is. This is thousands of years of people telling a story, right? I mean, how long after Jesus is dead before they s- even write the, the new stuff, right?

Big Jay Oakerson 21:20 Well, why does no one consider that, that long ago people wrote for fiction?

Joe Rogan 21:22 It was, like, hundreds of years after his death, right?

Dave Smith 21:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:24 At least 100 years after his death.

Dave Smith 21:26 Well, it's-

Big Jay Oakerson 21:26 But you know what I'm saying? Like, also years ago, like, no one considers the idea of works of fiction.

Joe Rogan 21:30 Right.

Big Jay Oakerson 21:31 Like, everything then was just written from the thing versus someone making entertainment.

Joe Rogan 21:35 But it's also ... There's a combination of that and then real events they're trying to document. So both things are true. 'Cause they had a lot of shit going on back then. Like, they didn't have to write fiction. They were getting killed by swords. People getting lit on fire and shot with arrows. Like, this is not a time to be making shit up.

Dave Smith 21:51 Yeah, it's like, "What happened to your brother?" And it's like, "I don't know, a beast got ahold of him and ripped him to pieces."

Joe Rogan 21:56 Yeah, you don't wanna have-

Big Jay Oakerson 21:56 It can't be all, it can't be, it can't be all Colosseum-ing. Once in a while, you gotta wind back and do some video games.

Joe Rogan 22:00 Yeah, but y- listen, that's life th- then, though. You're not gonna write Harry Potter when you're getting slayed by the Romans.

Dave Smith 22:05 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 22:06 I love how you're fighting a lot and he goes, "I had the good idea-"

Dave Smith 22:09 You probably-

Big Jay Oakerson 22:09 "... of something with, like, I don't know, a magical school."

Joe Rogan 22:12 (laughs)

Dave Smith 22:13 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 22:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:13 "The dude could walk on water. He walked on fucking water."

Big Jay Oakerson 22:16 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:17 "And then he put a guy's ear back on. Ah! Water into wine. Come on, who's not happy with that idea?"

Big Jay Oakerson 22:24 (laughs)

Dave Smith 22:24 A lot of those miracles ... I'm, I, I am studying, uh, magic right now for my magic show at Skankfest, and I'm reading a book about magic. But a lot of those miracles that they talk about, they, it's theorized that they were just, like, magicians that were, like, doing tricks for people and they would get, like-

Big Jay Oakerson 22:38 By the way, Jesus Christ would be a great name for a magician if there was no Jesus Christ. It's got a Chris Angel ring to it.

Joe Rogan 22:44 Oh, it's a great name. Yeah.

Dave Smith 22:44 Hell yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:44 Jesus Christ would be amazing.

Big Jay Oakerson 22:45 Come see Jesus Christ live at the Rio.

Joe Rogan 22:47 Yeah. Because it's got, like, a little bit of a Latin flare 'cause you know you could say it like Jesús.

Dave Smith 22:52 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 22:52 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:52 Mexicans are the only people that I know of, or I guess, uh, Spanish people as well, where the name Jesús, it's literally Jesus. You can name your kid Jesus. Like, how many Muslim kids are named Mohammed? A lot. It was, like, the number one name for boys in Ireland, like, a couple years ago.

Big Jay Oakerson 23:09 (laughs) Mohammed?

Joe Rogan 23:10 But ... Yeah, Mohammed. It freaked people out. They're like, "What?" Uh, but, but you can't name your son, your American son Jesus.

Dave Smith 23:17 It's gonna raise a few eyebrows if you bring-

Joe Rogan 23:20 (laughs)

Dave Smith 23:20 ... baby Jesus to the daycare.

Joe Rogan 23:22 Is that ... But isn't that crazy?

Dave Smith 23:24 You g- I know you legally can't name your child Jesus Christ.

Joe Rogan 23:27 Oh, is that true?

Dave Smith 23:28 That's a ... Legally, you can't.

Joe Rogan 23:29 (sighs) (laughs)

Dave Smith 23:30 I swear to God. That's a real thing.

Big Jay Oakerson 23:31 Do you think the pendulum's gonna swing back to, like ... There was a time-

Dave Smith 23:33 Naming kids Jesus?

Big Jay Oakerson 23:34 No, but naming-

Joe Rogan 23:36 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 23:36 No, but naming kids, uh, like, when ... There was no actual, like, lines drawn on naming-... wa- uh, years and years ago, as far as, like, race goes. So, my grandmother's boyfriend when she died, his full name was Jerome.

Joe Rogan 23:49 Look at this.

Big Jay Oakerson 23:49 There's old Tyro- like, white Tyrones.

Luis J. Gomez 23:51 Wait, dude, that-

Big Jay Oakerson 23:52 That just stopped one day and those became Black names.

Joe Rogan 23:54 These are all-

Luis J. Gomez 23:55 That's wild.

Joe Rogan 23:55 ... names that are-

Luis J. Gomez 23:56 Illegal.

Joe Rogan 23:56 ... ruled illegal by courts within the US.

Luis J. Gomez 23:58 Yep.

Joe Rogan 23:59 Um, so Bobby Green just got his name changed to King.

Luis J. Gomez 24:03 Wow.

Joe Rogan 24:03 He got his name legally-

Luis J. Gomez 24:04 King Green.

Joe Rogan 24:05 ... changed to King Green.

Luis J. Gomez 24:05 Yeah, he's gonna have to take this to the Supreme Court. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 24:08 Maybe not because it said... Oh, go back to that, please.

Dave Smith 24:10 Yeah, well, it's all right here.

Joe Rogan 24:11 Um, but the s- the states. But before that, it was, like, showing how many states. Does it say that?

Big Jay Oakerson 24:18 Why can't it be 10/69?

Joe Rogan 24:19 So, so it's not... The, uh... So it was just, um, the way it was phrased in the, uh, earlier thing that you had. Okay, here it is. There's a handful of names that were ruled illegal by courts within the US.

Luis J. Gomez 24:29 Within.

Joe Rogan 24:29 So, that could be l- local courts. Right?

Luis J. Gomez 24:31 So, in some areas, it's illegal to have these names.

Big Jay Oakerson 24:34 Mm-hmm.

Luis J. Gomez 24:34 Not all areas.

Joe Rogan 24:35 But how l- imagine you can't even call your kid Santa Claus? How about Majesty?

Dave Smith 24:39 Imagine you can't call your kid Adolf Hitler.

Big Jay Oakerson 24:41 I'm gonna name my kid Roman II.

Joe Rogan 24:43 You could only call your kid Majesty if you are an R&B singer.

Luis J. Gomez 24:48 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 24:48 Oh, those are, those, those are the best.

Joe Rogan 24:50 (laughs)

Dave Smith 24:50 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 24:50 There's so many rapper kids. There's so many rapper kids, like kids who have names like Prince.

Joe Rogan 24:55 Yeah, that's fine.

Big Jay Oakerson 24:56 Okay, all those things.

Joe Rogan 24:56 Prince is fine.

Luis J. Gomez 24:57 But is it just that spelling though? Could I name my kid M'Siah with, like, an apostrophe in the middle?

Joe Rogan 25:00 Right, I bet you could.

Big Jay Oakerson 25:01 Of course.

Dave Smith 25:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:01 Yeah, I bet you c- you'd change the spelling.

Luis J. Gomez 25:03 There you go. And M'Siah needs an apostrophe.

Joe Rogan 25:04 Yeah, go back to that again. Let me see the, the list. Um, what is the third? You can't be the third.

Big Jay Oakerson 25:10 Just Roman III.

Joe Rogan 25:10 You can't, you can't be the Roman numeral three? (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 25:13 No.

Joe Rogan 25:13 That can't be your name? Does that come up a lot?

Luis J. Gomez 25:15 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 25:15 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:15 Where they gotta make it illegal?

Big Jay Oakerson 25:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:17 Imagine all the shit that's legal.

Big Jay Oakerson 25:19 Boss was getting, Boss was getting his kid after his third album.

Joe Rogan 25:20 They'll let you in the border, but whatever you do, don't use that-

Dave Smith 25:23 Number three.

Joe Rogan 25:24 ... thing, that Roman III. That's fucked up, dude. You can't call your baby Roman number three.

Luis J. Gomez 25:28 But, like, two and four are okay?

Joe Rogan 25:30 Okay, in 19... uh, North Dakota man named Michael Herbert Dangler, who was adopted, wanted to change his name to these four numbers which held philosophical and personal significance for him. State court rejected his name change res- request in 1976, saying num-

Luis J. Gomez 25:46 They're like, "Beat it, Dangler." (laughs)

Dave Smith 25:47 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:47 ... numbers can't be used, can't be names due to potential confusion.

Big Jay Oakerson 25:51 But isn't, like, uh, isn't Elon Musk's kid's name like-

Joe Rogan 25:53 X.

Big Jay Oakerson 25:53 ... the sounds AOL used to make?

Luis J. Gomez 25:55 Yeah. (blows raspberry)

Joe Rogan 25:55 Well, he calls his son X, but it's, like, a bunch of other letters too.

Big Jay Oakerson 25:59 Yeah. (laughs) Like...

Joe Rogan 25:59 (honking sounds)

Luis J. Gomez 26:01 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:02 Bro, ima- imagine if you were that guy's son, but you were a moron.

Big Jay Oakerson 26:06 (honking)

Joe Rogan 26:06 That would suck bad. That would suck-

Big Jay Oakerson 26:08 Oh, it's fine. I mean, Arnold Schwarzenegger had a s- uh, a son that was a shlub, and then the one he didn't know he had (laughs) looked just like him and was shredded and working out constantly.

Luis J. Gomez 26:16 He's all jacked.

Big Jay Oakerson 26:16 Yeah, it's hilarious.

Joe Rogan 26:16 I think the other son's jacked too now.

Big Jay Oakerson 26:18 Oh, is he? He had to catch up then-

Joe Rogan 26:20 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 26:20 ... because he was a shlubby kid.

Joe Rogan 26:21 Sometimes you just, you know, "Fuck dad. I don't even wanna lift weights."

Big Jay Oakerson 26:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:25 (laughs)

Dave Smith 26:25 If you're, if you're old Schwarzenegger-

Luis J. Gomez 26:26 Yeah.

Dave Smith 26:26 ... you're s- like, you have so much privilege. Like, I would just never wanna lift weights at that point. I can never imagine, like, building the foundation as, like, a young Schwarzenegger to be like, "I'm just gonna work really hard now at something."

Joe Rogan 26:38 Right, because you've born inside that house.

Big Jay Oakerson 26:40 Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 26:40 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 26:41 Like, Kennedy is like a-

Dave Smith 26:42 Well, Kennedy, you're a Kennedy, you're half-Kennedy/half-Schwarzenegger? That's crazy.

Joe Rogan 26:44 Crazy.

Big Jay Oakerson 26:44 Tom Hanks has a son that became another Tom, like, Hanks person. You know, tucking in his polo shirts on a Sunday, and then one went full wigger. So, it's like-

Joe Rogan 26:52 Someone's... There's, like, a, a thing about the way you name your kid that someone brought up the other day. Fuck, I r- I wish I remembered who was saying this. But there were, there's, like, an actual principle to it, and I think it's based on Chet Hanks. It's like calling him Chet just sets him up to be a jock.

Big Jay Oakerson 27:08 Oh, it's like, yeah, you've never met, uh, awesome Chaz as excep-... Chazz Palminteri is the exception to the rule. That's not what you picture when you picture a Chaz.

Joe Rogan 27:16 Well, isn't Chazz Palm... Is that his full name? Is that how you say it or is it a shortened version?

Big Jay Oakerson 27:20 It's probably Charles is my guess would be.

Dave Smith 27:22 There's certain, like-

Joe Rogan 27:22 Yeah.

Dave Smith 27:22 ... names that are s- like, associated. Like, I have an ex-girlfriend. I won't even say her name. This is how crazy she is. Like, every girl I've ever met with this name is a crazy bitch, but she's so crazy that I refuse to say her name out loud. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:33 Wow, it's like Beetlejuice.

Dave Smith 27:34 I'm not summoning that. Yeah, dude. I won't say-

Joe Rogan 27:35 I saw Beetlejuice last night.

Dave Smith 27:36 How was it?

Joe Rogan 27:37 It's fucking great.

Dave Smith 27:38 Oh, yeah?

Joe Rogan 27:38 It's fun as shit, man.

Big Jay Oakerson 27:40 Enough nostalgia and-

Joe Rogan 27:40 It's fun as shit. I heard the reviews are not good.

Luis J. Gomez 27:43 That's probably why you liked it.

Joe Rogan 27:44 I'm like, "That is so crazy."

Big Jay Oakerson 27:45 I heard the reviews were all right. I heard The Crow was terrible.

Joe Rogan 27:46 I didn't hear about the reviews until after I saw it though. I didn't know anything about it. I just went in cold. It was great.

Dave Smith 27:52 That was like the female Ghostbusters. Everyone hated it so much that I watched it on a flight and I was like, "It wasn't that bad. It's kinda fun."

Joe Rogan 27:57 But Beetlejuice is better than that. Beetlejuice is really good.

Big Jay Oakerson 28:01 The female Ghostbuster was terrible.

Joe Rogan 28:02 It's f- it's fucking great, man. It's like be- it's, like, on par with the original movie. It's Tim Burton at his best. It's really good, man. I fucking enjoyed the shit out of it. When I heard that people didn't like it, I was like, "Really?"

Big Jay Oakerson 28:14 Yeah.

Dave Smith 28:14 Well, I believe all the bullshit I read right away where they're like, "Michael Keaton's only in it for 10 minutes."

Joe Rogan 28:18 Well, that was the point.

Big Jay Oakerson 28:18 See, now, that's not true.

Dave Smith 28:19 No, he w- so, they wanted to make sure that he wasn't in it any more... 'Cause in the first movie, he was only in it for 13 minutes, the total, right?

Big Jay Oakerson 28:26 Yeah.

Dave Smith 28:26 So, they were like, they didn't wanna change that element, so they purposely made it so he was in it for around the same amount of time.

Joe Rogan 28:32 Yeah, all that fucking numbers talk is nonsense. It, it's, the movie's fun. Like, you don't give a shit if he's in there. Winona Ryder's great. Everybody's great. It's f- it's a fucking fun movie, man. And it's Tim Burton, like, at his weird best. It's very weird.

Big Jay Oakerson 28:46 No Ellen Ball, no one trusted Ellen Ball in that set anymore.

Joe Rogan 28:49 I think Winona Ryder's a wild one, though. Um, I remember I, I met Winona Ryder-

Dave Smith 28:50 (coughs)

Joe Rogan 28:50 ... on the streets in New York City when I was selling comedy club tickets right after she got arrested for shoplifting.

Big Jay Oakerson 28:55 Shoplifting?

Joe Rogan 28:55 Yeah.

Dave Smith 28:55 That was, like, the most bizarre thing ever. She was, like, on-

Big Jay Oakerson 28:58 'Cause you coulda got her?

Dave Smith 28:59 (laughs) You were like, "Oh, my God. She has the same likes as me."

Joe Rogan 29:04 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 29:04 Yeah. Well, she was in, like, uh-

Dave Smith 29:05 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 29:05 "I can afford to buy you makeup, you crazy bitch."

Joe Rogan 29:08 (laughs)

Dave Smith 29:08 (laughs) But it's just genuinely, like, craziness, right? 'Cause she's rich. She was a movie star at that time.

Joe Rogan 29:12 Well-

Dave Smith 29:12 She didn't need the money.

Big Jay Oakerson 29:13 No, she got the itch, dude. She needs that-

Joe Rogan 29:13 I think it was a thrill thing.

Big Jay Oakerson 29:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:15 It's, uh, I think it's, for a lot of, uh, people, it's a thrill thing.

Dave Smith 29:18 What's the last thing you stole, Joe?

Joe Rogan 29:19 I stole a candy bar when I was 13, and I got caught.

Dave Smith 29:21 That's the last thing?

Joe Rogan 29:22 Yeah. I got caught, and I was, "Oh, fuck."

Dave Smith 29:24 Oh.

Joe Rogan 29:24 So embarrassing.

Dave Smith 29:25 What, like a security guard?

Joe Rogan 29:26 Yeah, a security guard pulled me into a back room and, oh, I was terrified. And I didn't even know what I was doing. I was just doing it 'cause I thought I could get away with it, you know? We were fucking young kids walking around, you know?

Big Jay Oakerson 29:37 My, what's... Yeah, that's really the thing is what you, what's the worst thing you got caught stealing? Mine was stuffing, uh, porn magazines down the front of my pants.

Joe Rogan 29:45 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 29:45 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 29:45 And putting my shirt over it.

Dave Smith 29:47 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:47 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 29:48 And I mean, the guy at the phar-

Joe Rogan 29:49 Oh, my God. Try reselling that now. (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 29:52 The guy, the guy at the drug store, the guy at the drug store was baiting me-... to do it. Like, he couldn't wait-

Joe Rogan 29:58 He was baiting you?

Dave Smith 29:59 Oh, no, no, no. Not baiting-

Joe Rogan 29:59 Like he was leaving porn out?

Big Jay Oakerson 30:01 No, no, no, no. The porn section was in this magazine.

Dave Smith 30:04 He just baited you. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:05 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 30:05 He was, yeah, he baited me.

Dave Smith 30:05 He tricked him.

Joe Rogan 30:05 I was just thinking, see, uh-

Dave Smith 30:06 He tricked him.

Joe Rogan 30:07 ... because it was just, like, a porno-

Dave Smith 30:08 No, no, no. He tricked me. He just, I think he used a lure. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:09 ... a porno, a porno mag, and then he's got, like, a fishing rod. (laughs) And he's like, "I'm gonna catch this little kid."

Dave Smith 30:13 He was entrapment.

Big Jay Oakerson 30:14 Yeah, no. Baiting is the wrong word for it. I'm saying he, he knew I was getting ready to... Like, he felt that I was waiting to find my moment.

Dave Smith 30:19 He could've stopped you before you did the crime.

Big Jay Oakerson 30:20 He could've stopped me before I did it or said-

Dave Smith 30:21 No.

Big Jay Oakerson 30:21 ... "Hey, uh, you can't be in here unless you're gonna, blah, blah." But, like, kinda made notice. He laid back, and I was kinda like, "He knows?" I'm like, "I guess not. He's just sitting there." And then I di- and then, uh, an old man spinning you around and lifting your shirt to show the half a porn magazine sticking up.

Dave Smith 30:36 This is- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:37 (laughs) How old were you?

Big Jay Oakerson 30:37 Just ran. Like, 12 maybe.

Joe Rogan 30:40 (laughs)

Dave Smith 30:40 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 30:41 I ran. It was so fast. I ran.

Dave Smith 30:42 12-year-old boys should not be left alone.

Big Jay Oakerson 30:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:45 Well, I thought- I used to-

Dave Smith 30:46 They're just, for their own devices, they're dangerous. ... I used to rob cars. When I was 12 years old, we would, me and my friends would break into cars in the ShopRite parking lot and just clear out all the change in the, uh, the center console.

Joe Rogan 30:56 All it takes is one bad kid in the neighborhood that's fun.

Big Jay Oakerson 31:00 Uh, my, my biggest steal wasn't even, like-

Dave Smith 31:01 Yep.

Big Jay Oakerson 31:02 ... for money or, uh, anything. I was staying at my, my grandmother's friend's house. Uh, my Aunt Anita and Uncle Herb. And Uncle Herb had a nice stack of, like, uh, porn magazines that I found.

Dave Smith 31:14 (laughs) There's a pattern.

Big Jay Oakerson 31:15 There's a pattern. No, this is funny. Well, this is one I thought I'd get away with for no reason. I took a few, a bunch-

Joe Rogan 31:19 I just want... I think every one of these stories is going to end with Jay being spun around and his shirt lifted up.

Big Jay Oakerson 31:24 Sort of.

Joe Rogan 31:24 Like Uncle Herb gets in there.

Big Jay Oakerson 31:25 This is proverbially that, because I took a few of his giant stack being like, "He'll never miss these and if he does, he's not gonna think it was me. And if he does think it's me, we're gonna have this quiet code of, like, what are you gonna tell my mom? I took your po-" You know, it's like, "So, you have to find out about your porn magazines now."

Dave Smith 31:44 Right.

Big Jay Oakerson 31:44 That's exactly what he did.

Joe Rogan 31:45 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 31:45 He didn't give a shit. He was like, "I want my porn magazines back."

Dave Smith 31:48 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 31:48 And then went down the channels from my grandmom to my mom. And I was like, "Ha! Oh, did I grab these?"

Joe Rogan 31:53 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 31:53 "Oh, shit."

Dave Smith 31:57 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:57 (laughs) That's hilarious.

Big Jay Oakerson 31:58 Oh, dude. That's such an embarrassing thing to get a phone call that goes, "Your Uncle Herb wants his..."

Dave Smith 32:02 Dude, pre-internet, porn was like gold. When you're a kid at that age, where you... 'Cause we had a magazine that we found in the woods and another kid stole it from us.

Joe Rogan 32:09 Every kid.

Dave Smith 32:09 And it was a thing.

Joe Rogan 32:10 Every kid found dirty magazines in the woods.

Big Jay Oakerson 32:13 There was one, yeah.

Dave Smith 32:13 Yeah, of course.

Big Jay Oakerson 32:14 You just hoped that it was wet for the right reasons.

Dave Smith 32:16 Uh, they're always damp.

Big Jay Oakerson 32:18 Yeah.

Dave Smith 32:18 Yeah. Then I, I had that one at home for a little while and I used to, I used to... I used, I used to live in a shitty apartment so it had, like, a drop ceiling. So I used to keep it inside of my ceiling to hide it from my mom.

Joe Rogan 32:28 (laughs)

Dave Smith 32:28 And I would just, I had this... It was, like, literally covered in mud and b- water.

Joe Rogan 32:32 D- did you guys see that shit that was going down in Philadelphia yesterday where one of those street takeovers?

Big Jay Oakerson 32:37 I saw a video of it. I don't know what it is.

Joe Rogan 32:39 And the cop, cop car drives towards it and hits his lights and thinks he's gonna get them to scatter. And they just jump all over the car.

Big Jay Oakerson 32:45 I didn't see that video.

Joe Rogan 32:46 It's crazy.

Big Jay Oakerson 32:46 I saw a couple of them. Ugh.

Joe Rogan 32:47 It's crazy.

Big Jay Oakerson 32:47 And what is it they're doing?

Joe Rogan 32:48 Check this out. Look. So the cop... There's, they've got, got a street takeover. So they just decided to stand in the middle of the street and block traffic.

Big Jay Oakerson 32:55 Oh, is it a protest?

Joe Rogan 32:56 No, I don't know what, what they're doing. I think they're just getting crazy. I don't know if they're protesting anything. I think they're just, a group of kids just decided to get crazy. This is the United States of America.

Dave Smith 33:06 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:06 This is, this is like one of the... If you saw that this was happening in Ecuador, you'd be like, "Yo, Ecuador is out of control." Right?

Dave Smith 33:12 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:12 But no, this is the United States of America in Philadelphia. Watch what happens to this cop car.

Big Jay Oakerson 33:17 Wait, what was the fir- go back a little bit. What was the person who spun out with, like, the person hanging off the car?

Joe Rogan 33:21 They're going crazy. It's a street takeover.

Big Jay Oakerson 33:23 Oh.

Joe Rogan 33:23 They're doing that with their cars. That's what they're doing. So they block traffic and then they spin around in circles in their cars and they organize it. So this cop tries to break it up but they just fuck this cop's car up, dude. Hundreds of kids.

Big Jay Oakerson 33:37 Fuck.

Joe Rogan 33:38 (laughs) And no one's in control of them.

Big Jay Oakerson 33:40 Go Birds.

Joe Rogan 33:40 I mean, if you are in that situation and you're parked in your car in, like, traffic 'cause there's, like, fucking-

Dave Smith 33:46 If I'm a cop?

Joe Rogan 33:47 No, but what if you're not a cop? What if you're a cop right now?

Dave Smith 33:49 I'm just starting to blast everybody through the windshield. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:51 You can't shoot enough people. There's too many, there's hundreds of people.

Big Jay Oakerson 33:54 It is, it is so funny-

Joe Rogan 33:54 They'll get you and they'll kill you.

Dave Smith 33:56 I could get 16 of them.

Big Jay Oakerson 33:57 No-

Joe Rogan 33:57 You didn't, you might be able to get three of them. (laughs)

Dave Smith 34:00 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 34:00 The first time I'm seeing someone with a gun-

Dave Smith 34:02 (laughs) Like John Wick, dude. Just headshots. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:05 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 34:05 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:05 Bro, it'd be such a wild panic knowing you only have 12 bullets.

Dave Smith 34:08 But the first one was nice.

Joe Rogan 34:09 Oh, my God. Well, the last one's for yourself. You can't let them have you. Oh, my God.

Big Jay Oakerson 34:11 The first time you see, like, someone with authority in your life or something, uh, have to realize, like, a c- a can't-win situation is awkward. Do you know what I mean? Like, seeing a cop-

Joe Rogan 34:19 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 34:19 ... have to, like, kinda surrender or have to give up. My step-pop when we were younger, we were driving back. My step-pop was, like, a power lifter always. Uh, like a big, like a tough guy to me, I always thought. And we were driving back from the Philadelphia Zoo one day through Fairmount Park and they had shut it down for what's called the Greek Picnic. Which is all the Black fraternities, uh, like party in the, in this big giant park. And the traffic-

Dave Smith 34:42 I love the, I love the old Greek guy that shows up for it. (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 34:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:45 (laughs)

Dave Smith 34:45 He shows up, "Oh, it's a Greek barbecue."

Big Jay Oakerson 34:47 "Yeah."

Joe Rogan 34:47 Dad, put, Jamie, put that video back up.

Guest 34:49 Oh, I just added it.

Dave Smith 34:49 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 34:49 But then, uh, my step, seeing my st- these guys were coming and they were just walking all through the street. All these, like, Black frat dudes. And, like, si- it was a traffic jam because they're in the middle of the street. And sitting, like, on the hood of our car and stuff like that.

Dave Smith 35:01 Oh, no.

Joe Rogan 35:02 Oh.

Big Jay Oakerson 35:02 And my step-pop just being like... I just see him just kinda sitting there, kinda eating it. And, like, realizing that I was, like, "Joe," you know, it was always like that, "Joe, why aren't you gonna... Uh, you know what? You're right." Like, this is just an unwinnable thing.

Dave Smith 35:12 That's one of my biggest fears that I'm gonna be with my son and I'm gonna get chumped out by tougher men than me. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:18 (laughs)

Dave Smith 35:18 It's the most horrifying thing in the world, dude.

Joe Rogan 35:20 Look at this video. And imagine if you're a person that just was going to see your aunt, got in your car, (laughs) it got stuck behind this.

Dave Smith 35:27 Oh, Jesus.

Joe Rogan 35:27 You had no idea you're gonna be trapped in this kinda traffic and they're just gonna block off the street for who knows how long.

Dave Smith 35:33 I just have to join them, just start doing fucking donuts.

Joe Rogan 35:35 What?

Big Jay Oakerson 35:35 Also, the people. I mean, f- Jesus Christ.

Dave Smith 35:37 That's my car on fire. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:38 The likelihood of one of these kids getting run over is very high.

Dave Smith 35:42 It happens all the time.

Joe Rogan 35:43 All the time.

Big Jay Oakerson 35:44 Does it?

Joe Rogan 35:44 They get hit by cars all the time. They go flying through the air. It's, like, a dumb thing that they do.

Dave Smith 35:49 Are these stolen cars?

Guest 35:50 Yeah, they're stolen.

Joe Rogan 35:50 Yeah, they're stolen cars. But these guys get so close to each other that they hit each other all the time. All the time.... people go flying through the air. Boom!

Dave Smith 35:59 I will say-

Luis J. Gomez 36:00 Absolutely.

Dave Smith 36:00 ... if you're a teenager, it does look like it's a lot of fun.

Joe Rogan 36:03 Oh, look, man. If you don't have a dad-

Luis J. Gomez 36:05 (laughs)

Dave Smith 36:06 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 36:06 ... and your mom's a cunt.

Big Jay Oakerson 36:07 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 36:07 And she does meth-

Luis J. Gomez 36:08 (laughs)

Dave Smith 36:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 36:08 Yeah, I'd be there too. (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 36:09 It's a nice cutloose.

Dave Smith 36:10 Dude, being in the middle right there, dude.

Joe Rogan 36:12 (laughs) I would be there too.

Dave Smith 36:12 Imagine being in the middle right there. You'd feel like a king.

Joe Rogan 36:14 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 36:14 You know, I was so-

Joe Rogan 36:15 If your dad beats you. You know, if your dad's an alcoholic who just beats the shit out of you, and the only love you get is from your friends on the streets-

Big Jay Oakerson 36:21 I was telling-

Joe Rogan 36:21 ... yeah, I'd be doing that too.

Big Jay Oakerson 36:22 I was telling these guys yesterday, I saw a, a video where it's a guy... Some of the people filming any- anything now, it's a guy in Times Square who films himself going up and just talk robbing a guy. Like, on ca- like, just talk. He just goes, "Hey, man. Come here, come here." And he goes, he goes, "You're doing a new documentary called I Just Got Robbed."" And he's like, "What?" He goes, "I'm gonna need your wallet. Don't run. Don't be weird." He's just, like, intimidate... And the guy, and the kid-

Dave Smith 36:43 The guy's name is Rob. He's clever.

Big Jay Oakerson 36:45 The kid's so happy that he's not getting beat up and just nervous that he's not getting beat up, like, he pleasantly, like, gives him everything. And it's kinda like, "Now go over there." He's like, "All right, man. Be easy, man. Be easy." And the guy's like, "All right, man. Cool." And like, he just gives him his stuff and walks away. It's just-

Joe Rogan 36:59 He gives him his stuff back?

Big Jay Oakerson 37:00 No. No, no, no. He robs him-

Dave Smith 37:02 No, so he does take-

Big Jay Oakerson 37:02 ... and takes him while it's going on camera.

Joe Rogan 37:03 So, he does it on camera on YouTube.

Luis J. Gomez 37:04 He comely robs them.

Dave Smith 37:05 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 37:05 Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty nuts.

Dave Smith 37:06 Is it even illegal, though? If I, if I just go up to-

Joe Rogan 37:08 Are you sure, are you sure it's real?

Big Jay Oakerson 37:09 It seems very, very real.

Joe Rogan 37:10 Are you sure that he doesn't give it back to him after they stop filming-

Big Jay Oakerson 37:14 That's the ape-

Joe Rogan 37:14 ... so that it's not a crime? And it's just a stunt?

Big Jay Oakerson 37:17 No, I think this happens all the time. People get arrested, actually, for it. I mean-

Joe Rogan 37:20 Really? I- you don't imagine... How crazy, you aren't there?

Luis J. Gomez 37:22 There's people-

Big Jay Oakerson 37:23 Like, hold out their guns-

Joe Rogan 37:24 There's one, there's one story, there was a-

Big Jay Oakerson 37:25 ... and say, "I'm about to go kill so-and-so." (laughs)

Dave Smith 37:26 This happens all the time in New York. Like, this happened to, uh, like, a former Miss New York. She was in the park, and these two young, like, maybe Puerto Rican kids or Black kids, they, they come up and like, "Hey, you know, we're trying to sell candy for our basketball team." That, that old scam. And then, uh, she was like, "I don't have any cash." They were like, "Oh, you could s- send us a Zelle." And she was like, "Sure." And then they got her to give them their phone, and then they just sent themselves $2,000 on her Zelle and handed her her phone back and just ran away. And they just couldn't get the money back.

Joe Rogan 37:52 Oh, my god.

Big Jay Oakerson 37:52 Oh, Jesus.

Dave Smith 37:53 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 37:54 I saw it. I stopped paying attention when you said they may have been Black or Puerto Rican. And you said, "Selling candy for their football team," or whatever. I'm like, "It definitely was Black or Puerto Rican."

Joe Rogan 38:02 (laughs)

Dave Smith 38:02 Well, no, no, no. I know. I wasn't sure if they were Black or Puerto Rican.

Big Jay Oakerson 38:04 Never had a white kid try to run the old, "Buy some M&M's from me" scam.

Joe Rogan 38:08 You gotta have laws, kids.

Big Jay Oakerson 38:10 Okay. (laughs)

Dave Smith 38:10 It gets dangerous out there. You leave people to their own devices, and you get that shit. You get people going wild in the streets.

Big Jay Oakerson 38:16 It's very scary to see that. It's very, very scary.

Luis J. Gomez 38:17 Thank God we all survived being that age, 'cause you're just so stupid, and yet you're in the body of kind of a grownup.

Dave Smith 38:26 Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 38:26 And you just have, like, all this f- you know, just testosterone, and fucking being young and not knowing... Like, I could so easily, if I lived in Philly-

Joe Rogan 38:33 Oh, I was a handful of decisions-

Luis J. Gomez 38:34 ... have been at one of those things.

Dave Smith 38:34 ... away from being at one of those things when I was a kid.

Big Jay Oakerson 38:36 But does that guy... Is the guy, the idiot who keeps jumping over the car and lighting the fire in the middle, is he looked back, like... Is he 55 one day going like, "Oh, yeah. I was a little rapscallion."

Joe Rogan 38:46 Do you think he lives to be 55?

Big Jay Oakerson 38:48 No, probably not. He probably dies under a donut-

Dave Smith 38:50 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 38:51 ... of a fucking-

Luis J. Gomez 38:51 Nice.

Big Jay Oakerson 38:52 ... souped-up SUV.

Dave Smith 38:52 CR-V.

Joe Rogan 38:52 There's a high likelihood that young man's involved in other questionable activities.

Big Jay Oakerson 38:56 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 38:57 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 38:57 No, maybe. But I'm saying but there's just those guys, like... I don't know how you, like, grow up out of that that's gonna be something that really nails it.

Dave Smith 39:05 I mean, I, my childhood wasn't-

Big Jay Oakerson 39:07 Outside of entertainment.

Dave Smith 39:07 ... crazy far from that. I mean, it wasn't... I just wasn't with that crew. But I was doing pretty, like, rancid shit. I was stealing and turning-

Luis J. Gomez 39:13 You guys onl-... You guys just couldn't afford to pull that off.

Big Jay Oakerson 39:17 No.

Luis J. Gomez 39:17 You would've. I'm sure you would've done that.

Joe Rogan 39:18 But it wasn't a thing. It wasn't a thing back then. Like, that's only been a thing for the last, like... How many years, Jamie? As the street takeovers-

Narrator 39:25 Uh, 15...

Dave Smith 39:25 We'll be, uh-

Narrator 39:26 Oh, yeah.

Dave Smith 39:26 We are, with the internet, and with-

Big Jay Oakerson 39:26 Making internet videos, yeah.

Narrator 39:27 With the internet. 15, 20. I don't know. Honestly, maybe-

Joe Rogan 39:30 It never... When I was a kid, there was none of that. No one ever blocked the street and did donuts.

Luis J. Gomez 39:35 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:35 You, you did donuts in the school parking lot if you knew where the cops were.

Big Jay Oakerson 39:39 They would drag race though in Philly. They would, like, stop, block off streets and, like, drag race illegally-

Narrator 39:43 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 39:44 ... till they broke them up and shit.

Joe Rogan 39:44 Yeah, that's true. That's true. That's true.

Big Jay Oakerson 39:47 Did you find, Jamie, the guy robbing?

Narrator 39:49 No, I was actually... I was, I was... I checked a couple places-

Dave Smith 39:51 1980s.

Narrator 39:52 ... but I didn't really find it.

Joe Rogan 39:52 Look at that.

Big Jay Oakerson 39:53 Instagram, actually. I found it.

Joe Rogan 39:54 Side shows. They call them side shows?

Narrator 39:56 Yes. I've s-... That's how I saw it first. It's a thing from the Bay Area.

Joe Rogan 39:59 So, the- they first occurred from the streets of Oakland in, during the mid-1980s. Back in the olden days before anybody knew anything.

Big Jay Oakerson 40:06 Yeah, it does seem like a very Asian-y activity.

Dave Smith 40:08 Yeah, I think them st-

Joe Rogan 40:09 Asian-y? (laughs)

Dave Smith 40:09 I think them stealing the cars is probably more of a newer thing.

Narrator 40:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:13 Right.

Dave Smith 40:13 I think, yeah, back in the day they were just like... It was like a car show, essentially.

Joe Rogan 40:15 Right, right.

Narrator 40:16 Yeah, they got-

Joe Rogan 40:16 They were showing off their cars.

Dave Smith 40:17 Yeah, they... Uh, you know, in the '70s and '80s they'd have the, you know, the ones with the hydraulics and shit.

Joe Rogan 40:21 Yeah.

Dave Smith 40:22 That would happen.

Big Jay Oakerson 40:22 Oh, it comes from a, it comes from a Bay Area rapper, Richie Rich's Side Show.

Joe Rogan 40:27 Mm-hmm.

Big Jay Oakerson 40:27 "Down Bancroft, to the light. Let me warm it up. I hit a donut tight." Rap sucks.

Joe Rogan 40:33 (laughs)

Dave Smith 40:36 (laughs)

Narrator 40:36 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 40:36 "I hit a donut tight. Chevy on my side, windows straight tinted. He got hype when he saw me spinning." I'm... Yeah. Who likes this?

Joe Rogan 40:45 I do. I like a lot of it. It's fun.

Big Jay Oakerson 40:46 That... The what? Rap?

Joe Rogan 40:48 Some rap is fun.

Big Jay Oakerson 40:49 No.

Joe Rogan 40:50 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 40:50 I love tons of rap. That's... Whatever that was was terrible.

Joe Rogan 40:53 Just not that. Well, that... Also, you didn't really sell it. Like, if I was at an audition, I'd be like, "Big Jay, next time-"

Big Jay Oakerson 40:59 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:59 ... "I want you to be in the moment. You, you know, you're, you're rapping about these things. You really feel this. You feel very strongly about these issues."

Big Jay Oakerson 41:06 You're trying to lure Lewis into a false sense of hope.

Joe Rogan 41:07 Side shows.

Big Jay Oakerson 41:08 We have to rap battle this Friday at Skag Fest.

Dave Smith 41:10 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:10 Oh.

Luis J. Gomez 41:10 I hate it.

Big Jay Oakerson 41:12 Trying to lure him into a false sense of hope.

Joe Rogan 41:13 Oh, I see where you're going with that.

Big Jay Oakerson 41:13 Although, I have a feeling it's gonna be better than what I did. But if we find the song Sideways or whatever-

Joe Rogan 41:19 (laughs)

Dave Smith 41:20 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 41:20 Yeah. I bet that guy doesn't kill it. It's all that... 'Cause that, that has to come from the era. Well, it's the '90s, I guess, so it might not be mumble rap.

Joe Rogan 41:26 Right. Some of the fucking '90s stuff still holds up, man.

Dave Smith 41:30 Oh, yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 41:30 Most of it does.

Joe Rogan 41:31 Yeah. You know what I listened to the other day? Tim Dog.

Big Jay Oakerson 41:35 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Narrator 41:35 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:35 Tim Dog. You remember that guy?

Dave Smith 41:36 Of course not. No, I don't think so.

Narrator 41:37 No way.

Joe Rogan 41:37 He was, like, the first guy who went against the, the, the guys from Compton and-

Big Jay Oakerson 41:42 Wait. Was he, was he based out of LA or something?

Joe Rogan 41:44 He had a si-... No, he was a New York guy. See, he had a-

Dave Smith 41:46 I thought he was from New York.

Joe Rogan 41:46 Yeah, he had a song called Fuck Compton. (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 41:50 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 41:50 That was pretty ballsy at the time.

Dave Smith 41:51 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 41:52 (laughs)

Dave Smith 41:52 It was pr-

Big Jay Oakerson 41:54 Well, that was the worst rap beef ending ever.

Joe Rogan 41:55 What is this, Jamie? The Side Show.

Big Jay Oakerson 41:56 It was, like, NWA. NWA split up from, uh, Ice Cube. And then, uh, Dr. Dre left, and then, and him and Eazy-E went and did their own thing. And then that beef ended in...... an AIDS death. (laughs) It's like, you don't see those ones happen anymore.

Joe Rogan 42:09 Well, those beefs, they would go to actual shooting each other. That's what's the craziest thing. Like, never in the history of show business was there a scenario where stars were having other stars murdered, like openly.

Big Jay Oakerson 42:22 That's happening now more than ever.

Joe Rogan 42:24 Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 42:25 It's, it's-

Big Jay Oakerson 42:26 With raps.

Joe Rogan 42:26 ... it's easier to become, like, a, a, like a, a "star" on the internet now. So a lot of these guys are, like, getting really popular and then getting killed, like young rappers.

Big Jay Oakerson 42:34 You know the wildest conspiracy theory about that has to do with intelligence agencies creating rap music-

Luis J. Gomez 42:39 Oh, that the CIA made them, made them gangster and shit like that?

Big Jay Oakerson 42:42 Yeah, that CIA, th- that they funded it and promoted it because they wanted to fill prisons. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 42:47 It's the wildest... But it, it, like, you want to destabilize society-

Big Jay Oakerson 42:52 Like a stuffy, old white guy writing down these lyrics.

Joe Rogan 42:52 ... and you get kids, like, young kids, who are like we're talking about, dumb, stupi- real easily influenced, don't know what the fuck's going on, and you introduce them to rap music, it will most certainly change the way they think about life.

Luis J. Gomez 43:05 Yeah, especially, all I'm saying, I don't know enough-

Big Jay Oakerson 43:08 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:08 Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 43:08 ... about that whole conspiracy and stuff. Uh, but it is crazy if you're, like, if you remember the '80s and '90s, the transformation from hip hop, from being, like, the KRS-One kind of like... It, there were, like, all these songs about, like, cleaning up their streets and listening to your dad. And, like-

Joe Rogan 43:24 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 43:25 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 43:25 Rap was just... It took this drastic turn from being, like, very positive, like, pro-black kind of thing, to just all of a sudden being like, "We're killing everybody and fuck bitches."

Joe Rogan 43:36 Mm-hmm.

Luis J. Gomez 43:36 And it's funny 'cause it, it went... Because I listen to a lot of hip hop, like, when I work out. But it's like it's just... I'll be listening to the most hardcore shit, and I'm just like, "This is nice. Let me turn up the treadmill a little bit."

Big Jay Oakerson 43:44 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 43:44 But, like, if you're in the hood, it's just inspiring you to murder people and rob banks. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:49 My, the, my favorite workout rap is Nas because the lyrics are so good. It gets you hyped up. You know, it got... Like, that's the thing about the '90s hip hop. It was, like, so lyrically based.

Luis J. Gomez 44:00 You gotta listen to any beef raps.

Joe Rogan 44:01 Like, they were fun lyrics.

Luis J. Gomez 44:01 Any beef raps are the best to work out to, just like... And I take no sides.

Joe Rogan 44:05 Right, right, right.

Luis J. Gomez 44:06 I'll listen to Biggie and Tupac going back and forth.

Joe Rogan 44:07 You just want the aggression. You just want the aggression.

Big Jay Oakerson 44:08 Fuck you, Tupac. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:08 Yeah, yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 44:11 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:11 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Remember when Ice Cube...

Big Jay Oakerson 44:13 Fuck you, Biggie.

Luis J. Gomez 44:14 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:14 Remember when Ice Cube put out No Vaseline?

Big Jay Oakerson 44:16 Yeah, that was the best.

Joe Rogan 44:16 Bro, you do not wanna get in one of the rap battles with Ice Cube.

Big Jay Oakerson 44:21 No, he was so great.

Luis J. Gomez 44:22 There you go.

Big Jay Oakerson 44:22 For his time in rap, he was fucking incredible.

Joe Rogan 44:25 Bro, he was such a good writer.

Big Jay Oakerson 44:26 Yeah. Well, they did a song, Jackin' for Beats, and that's when he made the song, "It's everybody else's." He keeps changing all the most popular beats, and he just does rap. Oh, it's great.

Joe Rogan 44:34 Didn't he do a lot of the writing for NWA?

Big Jay Oakerson 44:37 I think all of it.

Joe Rogan 44:37 All of it, yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 44:38 I think he was the... I think that was basically-

Joe Rogan 44:40 Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 44:40 ... like the thing was he wrote all the songs.

Big Jay Oakerson 44:41 Eazy with the money and the voice.

Luis J. Gomez 44:43 I think that DOC guy probably wrote a bit, too. Um...

Joe Rogan 44:45 You know, I'm friends with Willie D from i-

Big Jay Oakerson 44:48 Ghetto Boys.

Joe Rogan 44:48 ... Ghetto Boys, and he wrote everything. He wrote, he wrote, like, most of their songs. He told me he wrote Fuck a War in 45 minutes.

Big Jay Oakerson 44:56 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:56 We were talking about it on the podcast, and he sent me a text. He goes, "I wrote Fuck a War in 45 minutes. I just sat down, and I was like, 'Mother, fuck a war.'" Have you heard that song?

Luis J. Gomez 45:05 Uh, yeah. I can't remember it.

Joe Rogan 45:05 Where Bushwick Bill is getting recruited. Oh, bro, we gotta play it. We gotta play it.

Big Jay Oakerson 45:09 Can I tell you that my, one of my favorite lyrics that never struck out to me or stood out to me when I was younger but always makes me laugh in, uh, My Mind's Playing Tricks on Me?

Joe Rogan 45:18 Oh.

Big Jay Oakerson 45:18 Is when Bushwick Bill, you know, he's a midget. And then, uh, he sings this song. He goes, uh, "This wasn't no ordinary dude. He stood about six or seven feet." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:29 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 45:29 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 45:30 He goes, "That's the N-word I be seeing in my sleep." (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 45:34 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 45:34 He goes... That's not even that crazy.

Joe Rogan 45:36 Look at, look at what he, what Jamie just pulled up. Jamie, the investigative journalist that he is, just pulled up that, uh, Ice Cube formed his first rap group called CIA-

Big Jay Oakerson 45:44 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 45:45 ... in 1986.

Luis J. Gomez 45:46 Wow.

Joe Rogan 45:46 Oh my God.

Luis J. Gomez 45:47 Coincidence?

Joe Rogan 45:48 It's all right in front of us, man.

Big Jay Oakerson 45:49 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 45:50 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:51 Connect the dots, bro.

Luis J. Gomez 45:52 They always say, they say that about Puffy now. Like, every interview with Puffy. He's just, like, just being a little bit weird. But everyone's like, "It was right in front of you, bro. He was letting us know the whole time."

Big Jay Oakerson 46:01 Dude, when, uh, when Bill Maher said the N-word on his show, and then the next week had to give his apology to Ice Cube was the funniest thing in the world.

Joe Rogan 46:08 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 46:08 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 46:08 What a weird person to have to do it.

Joe Rogan 46:09 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 46:10 And then he, he goes, "I'm really sorry, Ice Cube." And Ice Cube's like, "Well, Bill Maher, this is a good moment to teach you something." It was so bad.

Joe Rogan 46:17 Dude, let me hear Fuck a War. This, this is one of my all-time favorite war songs. Bushwick Bill was fun because he was like a South Park character.

Big Jay Oakerson 46:27 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:27 Like, he could say the wildest shit because he just looked different.

Big Jay Oakerson 46:31 He was-

Joe Rogan 46:31 And you're like, "Oh, let him say it. He's a tiny guy."

Big Jay Oakerson 46:34 Did you ever hear Everclear when he told the whole story of making his girlfriend shoot him in the eye?

Joe Rogan 46:38 Yes.

Big Jay Oakerson 46:39 Why he has no eye.

Joe Rogan 46:39 Yes, crazy. When I used to deliver newspapers, I used to listen to this.

Big Jay Oakerson 46:52 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:54 On cassette, son.

Luis J. Gomez 47:00 You delivered them on bicycle?

Joe Rogan 47:02 No, I was in a van. I had a van.

Luis J. Gomez 47:04 I delivered them. My uncle had a Roux and I had a, I had a...

Big Jay Oakerson 47:07 Uh...

Luis J. Gomez 47:07 I would go with him at 2:00 in the morning.

Joe Rogan 47:09 Throw, throw them out the window?

Luis J. Gomez 47:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:24 Dave Smith, you should go on stage to this.

Luis J. Gomez 47:27 I am loving it.

Joe Rogan 47:29 Oh, it's great. Give me a little more.

Luis J. Gomez 47:32 That picture is crazy, the cover of that album.

Joe Rogan 47:38 Oh, it's crazy.

Luis J. Gomez 47:42 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:43 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 47:44 So funny. This was, like, hard in the '80s. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:46 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 47:47 I know.

Luis J. Gomez 47:48 I hate you, damn ho.

Big Jay Oakerson 47:49 I don't think the, the flow of it doesn't seem anymore.

Luis J. Gomez 47:52 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 47:53 It seems bubbly.

Luis J. Gomez 47:54 Call me a funky sucker.

Big Jay Oakerson 48:08 Can you imagine being a woman being abused by a Black midget and he makes you shoot him in the eye?

Dave Smith 48:14 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 48:15 Where's her side of that story?

Joe Rogan 48:16 Well, listen, that can't be her first mistake. He can't be ... Uh, she's made a lot of mistakes.

Dave Smith 48:20 No. That's the end of a long series of bad, bad decisions. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:23 Yeah. You don't just get there because you won the lottery. (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 48:25 Uh, he takes his eye out.

Joe Rogan 48:26 You gotta do the work.

Big Jay Oakerson 48:28 What?

Joe Rogan 48:28 You wanna get into a position (laughs) where you're fucking being forced to shoot your tiny man's eyeball out?

Big Jay Oakerson 48:33 "Hey, shoot me in the eye-"

Joe Rogan 48:35 Jesus Christ.

Big Jay Oakerson 48:35 "... what? You crazy, tiny asshole."

Joe Rogan 48:37 Jesus Christ. He's got some good ... W- Willie's got some great Bushwick stories. That was a guy that I wanted to get on the podcast, but he got sick. Like, right when we were talking to his people, he apparently got sick.

Big Jay Oakerson 48:49 Bushwick Bill?

Joe Rogan 48:50 Yeah. And he wound up in the hospital. I'm like, "Goddamn, that would've been a good one."

Big Jay Oakerson 48:54 How long, how old was when he died?

Joe Rogan 48:55 (sighs) It was a few years back. He, he wasn't that old. You know, he had a lot of health problems. What year was it?

Narrator 49:01 It was 2019. He was 52.

Joe Rogan 49:04 2019. Yeah, so it was right, right before that. He got sick.

Big Jay Oakerson 49:09 52. Did you ever get Scarface?

Joe Rogan 49:12 No. I'd love to have him on. Y- you ever see the tiny desk thing he did?

Big Jay Oakerson 49:16 Mm-mm.

Joe Rogan 49:16 Fucking incredible. You know that tiny desk, uh, performance thing they do?

Big Jay Oakerson 49:20 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:20 But Scarface did it and, like, slowed everything down to fit with the vibe of being in this, like, really tight thing. And so, it was like ... You know, he's always been a, a great rug- ... Give me some of this.

Guest 49:32 I was fucking stoned.

Narrator 49:33 He's got Mike Dean with him. I think-

Guest 49:34 Like, white guy stoned, like ... (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 49:37 Okay.

Guest 49:39 Like Dean stoned. (laughs) But I know when I say those words-

Dave Smith 49:42 How does it feel, Jay? How does it feel to be on the o- the under, the other end of it?

Big Jay Oakerson 49:46 I don't like it one bit. (laughs)

Narrator 49:47 (laughs)

Guest 49:48 As big as those camera lenses, y'all. And it went a little something like this. Hold up. I said ... He greets his father with his hands out. Rehabilitation, glad to be the man's child. The world is different since he's seen it last. Out of jail, been seven years since I ...

Big Jay Oakerson 50:04 It's kinda strange.

Joe Rogan 50:05 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 50:06 Well, also, what's strange is, again, seeing ... We'll never know what how corny, or not, an old Biggie or Tupac would've been.

Dave Smith 50:14 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 50:14 Oh, yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 50:14 So it's funny to see him. Like, he, it's not that he's corny, but he's just a, an, an older guy now. You know what I mean? This guy doesn't live any kind of gangster life anymore.

Joe Rogan 50:20 You think this is corny?

Big Jay Oakerson 50:22 No, no, no. I'm saying that he-

Joe Rogan 50:23 What are you saying?

Big Jay Oakerson 50:24 I'm saying that he became ... You get to see how people would become. No, it's not corny at all, but it's much more, it's much softer energy than you ever thought of Scarface in the, uh, '80s and '90s.

Dave Smith 50:32 It does feel like a, it's a Scarface song that you could read one of these books to. Like, this could just be background.

Guest 50:38 You don't have to have no NPR, guys.

Big Jay Oakerson 50:39 No, but I'm saying if you, if you told me this was a guy who was in The Roots or something, you'd be like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes sense."

Joe Rogan 50:43 But isn't it make more sense that he's like this now? This is an intelligent guy-

Dave Smith 50:48 Sure, of course.

Big Jay Oakerson 50:48 Yeah, of course.

Dave Smith 50:48 100%.

Joe Rogan 50:48 ... that kept evolving as a human being, right? So, it's-

Dave Smith 50:50 100%. And you should evolve.

Joe Rogan 50:51 Yeah, which is great. It's way better than, like-

Big Jay Oakerson 50:52 Yeah. Jay, you're the only person that hasn't evolved since high school. (laughs)

Dave Smith 50:56 I haven't.

Joe Rogan 50:56 If you're Justin Bieber and you gotta sing in a girl's voice when you're 80 ...

Big Jay Oakerson 50:59 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:00 You know, that, that, that ♪ He ♪, that high-pitched thing.

Dave Smith 51:02 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 51:02 He goes, "I ..." First time I heard him sing, I thought, I went, "Wow, this girl sounds amazing." And they go, "That's Justin Bieber." And I go, "Oh, what a crazy voice." Like-

Dave Smith 51:10 Well, bring him in here anyway.

Joe Rogan 51:11 JC Jay also. Is that the same thing?

Big Jay Oakerson 51:12 When he was, but he was real young back then.

Joe Rogan 51:14 Right.

Guest 51:14 Can't do your job. Legs on the bed. Can't get me. Don't have to have no money.

Joe Rogan 51:26 What am I looking at?

Big Jay Oakerson 51:27 What's that, JJ? DJ Paul with Three 6 Mafia?

Narrator 51:29 JJ Jay? Yeah, Three 6 Mafia. It's a lot going on.

Big Jay Oakerson 51:31 I just saw, I just saw, uh-

Joe Rogan 51:32 Oh, okay.

Big Jay Oakerson 51:32 ... DJ Paul at a Gathering of the Juggalos I performed at. He was one of the people that performed. It's so funny seeing the people who get what's happening there versus the performers who don't because, uh, he was up there. He knows. Like, he's been with that audience. I think Tech N9ne also does that, so he does all the family chants and stuff, uh, DJ Paul.

Joe Rogan 51:52 Mm-hmm.

Big Jay Oakerson 51:53 And he just gets that crowd, gets them going. But they throw shit constantly and they're doing all kinds of crazy shit.

Joe Rogan 51:58 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 51:58 Rakim went up there. And by Rakim, like, the third song at, like, you know, they were throwing shit. But they're into it, the audience. And then he just kinda stops the song and he goes, "Hey, I ain't about all that fuck-shit throwing stuff, man. So, you can throw shit and we could leave, or we could do some rap music." And the crowd was just kinda like, "Oh, okay."

Dave Smith 52:15 Oh, they got it?

Big Jay Oakerson 52:16 See, back in the day, when we did it, when we did it 15 years ago- He yelled at them and they, and then they just, and then they stopped.

Dave Smith 52:20 ... dude, they were fucking savages. So I think they're, I think the Gathering of the Juggalos crowd has gotten older.

Big Jay Oakerson 52:25 Well, they've aged too. Yeah.

Dave Smith 52:26 I think they're all, they're all 40 now, so it's like, they're like, "Okay, if you don't want us to throw stuff, we won't." (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 52:30 (laughs)

Dave Smith 52:30 Which is great. We did it-

Big Jay Oakerson 52:31 I feel like ... No, no, no, guys. I think they were a little more like-

Dave Smith 52:32 The crowd had to-

Big Jay Oakerson 52:33 ... "Oh, this is our thing, though."

Dave Smith 52:34 They had to have a moment where they were like, "All right, it's a choice between throwing stuff or rap music."

Big Jay Oakerson 52:40 (laughs)

Dave Smith 52:40 Dude, we did it 15 years ago when we were just so young in comedy and we didn't know what it was. It was midnight in a tent in the woods with the Insane Clown Posse and it was a comedy tent.

Big Jay Oakerson 52:48 It's still that.

Dave Smith 52:49 I know, I know.

Big Jay Oakerson 52:50 But now we know who we are.

Joe Rogan 52:51 (laughs)

Dave Smith 52:51 They had, I- I mean, they had a guy p- ... Uh, a clown pick us up in a van. It's, uh, DeRosa talks about it in his, uh, he has that joke on his special.

Big Jay Oakerson 52:57 Upchucks.

Dave Smith 52:57 Yeah, Upchucks: The Clown, dude.

Big Jay Oakerson 52:57 His name's Joel. He's a comic from, uh, Michigan. He still runs it. He just doesn't do it anymore.

Dave Smith 53:01 So they pick you up in a van. It's the scariest thing ever. You're like, it's just pitch black in the woods in the darkness. And when they put us up there, like, these people aren't there for comedy. They're there for this, whatever experience. So, they just start throwing, like, just cans of soda and beer and alcohol.

Joe Rogan 53:16 Oh, Jesus Christ.

Dave Smith 53:16 Jay goes to me. He's like, "Dude, just ..." 'Cause I was going first. He was like ... I'm like a year in comedy. He's like, Jay is like, "Just go up there and do jokes. Don't just go up there and smoke weed and do crowd work." It was, like, me... And it was Vecchione, who's, like, a straight-up joke guy. So, uh, he was like, "You're gonna set us up to fail if you don't do jokes." So within 10 seconds, like, a, a beer can whizzed past my head. I was like, "Oh, is that weed?" And I just smoked weed with them for five minutes.

Big Jay Oakerson 53:36 No, Louis had on, he put on the-

Dave Smith 53:38 Oh, yeah. The mask.

Big Jay Oakerson 53:39 ... the gas mask weed thing. You couldn't even talk through that weed the whole time.

Dave Smith 53:42 That was my closer.

Big Jay Oakerson 53:43 (laughs)

Dave Smith 53:43 I was like (explosion sound) .

Big Jay Oakerson 53:44 And then I said, uh ... And then Mike Vecchione went out. And I was the only one that was booked on it. I was just like, "They want me to do a show." So, they were with me on another gig. I'm like, "Come and we'll do this one." And you guys go on. So, uh, Mike Vecchione goes on and it's ... They're not paying attention to him and yelling at him. And I remember, he kinda looked at me off to the side of the stage and I was like, "You can wrap it up." Like, "I'll go eat the rest of this shit."

Dave Smith 54:05 I remember one of his premises, though.

Big Jay Oakerson 54:07 And he goes ... No, all I remember is the premise 'cause he goes ... I said that feel- ... You know that feeling, like, when you're, when it's going rough and you see the light? Somehow, you even have, like, another five-minute burst in you because you, you know you are done, so, like, "Let me see what I can do now."

Joe Rogan 54:21 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 54:21 It's almost like that freeing thing.

Joe Rogan 54:22 Mm-hmm.

Big Jay Oakerson 54:23 So I gave Vecchione that kinda like, "You can wrap it up, dude."... and he goes, uh, "Ah-" And I do- I almost saw his energy change and he just goes, he's gonna do his last big joke or whatever, and he goes, uh, "So, uh, hey, guys. I had a dream last night." And the crowd- someone in the crowd goes, "Fuck your dreams!"

Dave Smith 54:39 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:41 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 54:41 And I don't think he finished-

Dave Smith 54:41 That's a great title. (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 54:42 ... I don't think he finished the bit.

Dave Smith 54:44 Ah.

Big Jay Oakerson 54:44 And then he brought me up, and then I was supposed to do, like, 45, of which I did 20 maybe, because I remember saying, uh... Well, they got mad at me at the... I asked them why there's... It's a rap festival with no Black people? And then a Black guy stood up and he was like, "How about me?" And I went, "One jugga bro," and then-

Joe Rogan 55:00 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 55:00 ... and then they just booed, and someone yelled, "They all bleed clown." And I just was like-

Dave Smith 55:05 Oh, God.

Big Jay Oakerson 55:06 ... "Can I go?"

Dave Smith 55:06 "They all bleed clown." Wow.

Big Jay Oakerson 55:08 Yeah, I didn't know how to respond to that.

Joe Rogan 55:10 Isn't it amazing, though, that you could just... If you just create a place where anybody can join, you, you're gonna get a group of people. You know, whether it's the Insane Clown Posse or the Mormons. (laughs)

Dave Smith 55:21 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 55:21 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 55:21 Like, fucking (laughs) like, if you just, like, throw an open net.

Big Jay Oakerson 55:23 I respect the- I respect the Juggalos more than the Mormons.

Dave Smith 55:25 You know-

Luis J. Gomez 55:25 Oh, hell yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:25 ... I think they're similar.

Luis J. Gomez 55:27 No, they're... Well, honestly-

Joe Rogan 55:28 They're- they're more happy being Juggalos than they are if the- it- Juggalos didn't exist.

Dave Smith 55:31 Exactly.

Luis J. Gomez 55:31 That should be the-

Big Jay Oakerson 55:32 Oh, absolutely.

Luis J. Gomez 55:32 ... the judge of all of it, though. Like you said before, it's like, what does this actually do for you?

Joe Rogan 55:36 Right.

Luis J. Gomez 55:36 Forget whether any of it's real.

Joe Rogan 55:38 Right.

Luis J. Gomez 55:38 It's just like, are you happier? Is your life better because you're a Juggalo? If so, then do it.

Dave Smith 55:40 And also, if you've ever listened- if you've ever listened to the Insane Clown Posse's music, it is unironically pretty awesome. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 55:46 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 55:46 (laughs)

Dave Smith 55:46 I'm not gonna... Like, I thought I was gonna hate it, but every song, it rules. It's just about clowns killing people.

Joe Rogan 55:51 Yeah. (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 55:52 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 55:52 It's- it's- it's just horror.

Dave Smith 55:53 It's like this pop ass to a great beat.

Big Jay Oakerson 55:54 It's horror rap.

Joe Rogan 55:55 Horror rap is amazing.

Big Jay Oakerson 55:56 Yeah, it's horror rap.

Dave Smith 55:57 I'm- I- I am thoroughly... I said that festival's pretty amazing, and I'm thoroughly so just always impressed with... The music is subjective to anybody, but I'm like, the... What they've done I think is amazing. It's incredible what they-

Big Jay Oakerson 56:08 They- yeah.

Dave Smith 56:08 I mean, they are world-famous, known. They just did the VMAs.

Joe Rogan 56:12 And they're- they're-

Dave Smith 56:13 They went to the VMAs, yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:13 ... kind of the only band that's ever pulled off having, like, a whole festival.

Big Jay Oakerson 56:18 Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 56:19 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 56:19 Like, we're-

Luis J. Gomez 56:19 We're the second one.

Big Jay Oakerson 56:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:21 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 56:21 It's them and us.

Joe Rogan 56:22 Yeah.

Dave Smith 56:22 Well, no. Without us doing Ju- The Gathering of the Juggalos, we wouldn't have even done Skank Fest.

Big Jay Oakerson 56:25 That's where the idea is based off, yeah.

Dave Smith 56:26 There's so much influence from The Gathering of the Juggalos in our audience. There's a lot of crossover. In fact, I'll say it now, 'cause it's too late for people to even go, but our secret guest is the Insane Clown Posse on Thursday night at the kickoff party.

Joe Rogan 56:36 Oh, that's amazing.

Dave Smith 56:36 It's gonna be sick, yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:37 That's amazing. Dude, the- Legion of Skanks is one of the most important things in comedy.

Big Jay Oakerson 56:41 Oh, thank you. Thank you.

Joe Rogan 56:42 You guys really are.

Luis J. Gomez 56:42 Thank you.

Joe Rogan 56:43 You really are. It- I put you guys in the same, like... There's- there's this brackets of, like, Kill Tony, Legion of Skanks. This is the thing about having these battlegrounds where you go, "No, no, no, no. We're gonna say what we would say if we were fucking around together."

Dave Smith 56:58 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 56:58 Like, you can deal with it or you cannot deal with it, but this is how we would... The- the conversations we're having are exactly like green room conversations.

Big Jay Oakerson 57:06 Oh, yeah.

Dave Smith 57:06 Well, yeah. It's- I- and I feel like now, I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like- almost like the tide has turned in some weird way. Like, it's kinda coming back.

Joe Rogan 57:14 It- it definitely has.

Dave Smith 57:14 Even... There- there were, like, these big moments. I think, um, like, when they tried to cancel you and that didn't work. Uh, Shane getting SNL. Just, like, bi- big things where it's kinda like, oh, they're almost admitting, "Okay, we lost the great censor comedians war." But for those years, I think it was- it was good to have Legion of Skanks for a lot of those.

Joe Rogan 57:35 Oh-

Dave Smith 57:35 For a lot of those comics, I was just like, "Well, this is the place where you could still do whatever you want to."

Luis J. Gomez 57:39 Yeah, we were- we were just opening the w- the door a little bit to say fucked up shit, and people would come on our show... I mean, the amount of times people have been like, "Dude, should I have not said that on your show?" (laughs) After they leave.

Big Jay Oakerson 57:48 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:48 But the w-

Big Jay Oakerson 57:48 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:49 You guys did a wise thing too, though, 'cause you were subscription-based.

Dave Smith 57:52 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 57:53 Right? So for the longest time, if you wanted to find out what you guys were talking about, you had to subscribe, so you had, like, loyal subscribers.

Big Jay Oakerson 58:00 But I was- I was just kinda, like, playing on that too. It's to kinda keep our- ourselves a little safe from-

Dave Smith 58:05 Well, yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:05 Yeah.

Dave Smith 58:05 We have our own platform, and what- we put out the version on YouTube.

Joe Rogan 58:08 It's smart.

Dave Smith 58:08 We put it out on iTunes, but we play by the rules there.

Big Jay Oakerson 58:10 (laughs)

Dave Smith 58:10 So we edit out all the shit you can't say on those platforms.

Joe Rogan 58:12 Mm-hmm.

Dave Smith 58:12 And if you wanna see the real version, the way that we do it, you gotta go subscribe. Um, and honestly with YouTube, the way they started censoring everything, it actually now... 'Cause for... We've been doing this for, like, eight years, but now more than ever, a platform that we ha- l- like we have is more important than ever, because now YouTube is super strict with everything we do. We have to bleep things. We have to censor things. There's certain topics we can't even put in the podcast.

Joe Rogan 58:34 It's so wild that there's only really one YouTube.

Dave Smith 58:37 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 58:37 Like, if you had to predict at the beginning of the internet when they first started putting videos in, like, those little media players you'd get with Windows, who would- who the fuck would have ever thought there would only be one streaming site that anybody cares about? There's a few other ones, but nobody-

Big Jay Oakerson 58:50 Well, they do- but it's like someone says it, but no one catches on, so, like, Google is, like, the search engine, but, like, there's a whole bunch of other ones, but no one-

Joe Rogan 58:57 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 58:57 But- but- you- like-

Dave Smith 58:58 Well, Google also bought out YouTube, and I mean, they- they... It was so smart the way they did it. But yeah, like, you can't go to a... And no offense to Rumble, like, when you put the podcast on Rumble, nobody watches it. There's no visibility.

Joe Rogan 59:07 It's- well, there's- there's also-

Luis J. Gomez 59:07 Well, there's a few shows that have big audiences on- on Rumble, like, that are really-

Big Jay Oakerson 59:11 Yeah, 'cause they can't be-

Dave Smith 59:11 But they're bigger than Rumble.

Luis J. Gomez 59:12 Yes.

Big Jay Oakerson 59:13 Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 59:13 That's- that's kind of the- the dynamic, and it is... Google and YouTube, which are- are one in the same now, it is amazing how they just became the thing for something that there's no clear reason why there should be one thing. But nobody is like... If you say something and you go, "Is that true?" And I go, "Yeah, Bing it."

Dave Smith 59:31 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 59:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:31 Well, the You- the YouTube thing though, it's like they've- they have it so dialed in with, like, the recommendations, and there's constant... You could go down rabbit hole after rabbit hole after rabbit hole and never find the end and be endlessly entertained. And it ju- encourages you to keep looking at other stuff, keep showing you other stuff constantly.

Big Jay Oakerson 59:51 Oh, I'm judge- I'm judgmental of TikTok.

Luis J. Gomez 59:52 And all the power in the universe is that algorithm now.

Joe Rogan 59:55 Mm-hmm.

Luis J. Gomez 59:56 It's insane how much that, uh- like, a formula-

Big Jay Oakerson 59:59 But that- but that particularly-

Luis J. Gomez 59:59 ... has this much power, and they, like... If they- if YouTube decides, "We're gonna push this person," they could make someone