EVERY SPOKEN WORD
150 min read · 30,003 words- 0:00 – 0:35
Headphones as a “safe room” and settling into the hang
- NANarrator
(drumming music) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music)
- TVTheo Von
What up, dog? These are like conversation condoms, aren't they?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, a little bit. (clears throat) Well, it's like a, a safe room, blocks out the world.
- TVTheo Von
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Conversation only exists inside your ears, you know? Locks you in. I, I think it locks you in.
- TVTheo Von
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
That's what I like about it.
- TVTheo Von
Yeah, it's almost like a, a football player kind of putting on their helmet.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right, ready to go, ready to go.
- TVTheo Von
Like, we're ready for this, yeah.
- 0:35 – 2:12
Election night at the Comedy Mothership: chaos, joy, and Tony’s nerves
- JRJoe Rogan
Yo, how fun was election night at the mothership?
- TVTheo Von
It was baffling, man. I mean, here, I'll tell ... (laughs) It was, uh ...
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- TVTheo Von
I mean, it was crazy.
- JRJoe Rogan
It was so much fun. We had such a good time. That green win was so positive, the-
- TVTheo Von
My favorite part, at one point they were playing that song, um, (singing) "You talk about a revolution."
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- TVTheo Von
And people were dancing, people were smoking weed. There was a b- I think there was a baby smoking weed.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- TVTheo Von
People, there was, everybody was like, people were like, make ... It was crazy, dude.
- JRJoe Rogan
It felt-
- TVTheo Von
Adam and Eve were in there. (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- TVTheo Von
It was just, there was just a lot going on.
- JRJoe Rogan
It felt like America's brighter. That's what it felt like. We were, we were moving towards this insane world where we're being controlled by liars. We're just being gaslit left and right. We saw it all over the media, we saw it all over the news, things that were right in front of your face, they're trying to deny. There's just so much craziness, and then all of a sudden, poof, the world's woke. Did you see the map of the actual country, like how many places-
- TVTheo Von
I've seen it before.
- JRJoe Rogan
... actually vote, voted red?
- TVTheo Von
Oh, no, I don't know if I saw that or not.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's just a few cities. Even California was mostly red. That's what's crazy.
- TVTheo Von
We had, uh ... I don't know if I saw that. I'm trying to think of what I saw.
- JRJoe Rogan
There's a, um, there's a n-
- TVTheo Von
Oh, Tony was nervous, remember?
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- TVTheo Von
Remember that, dude? (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
Tony better be fucking nervous.
- TVTheo Von
Dude, I kept just going up to him and going, (singing) "Feliz Navidad," (laughs) just to fucking get his vibes.
- 2:12 – 3:56
Red map vs. blue cities: why urban areas vote differently
- JRJoe Rogan
Look at that.
- TVTheo Von
Oh, wow.
- JRJoe Rogan
This is the one I saw, Jamie. I'll send this to you. It's got music to it.
- TVTheo Von
This looks like when I got that hair surgery.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- TVTheo Von
You know what I'm talking about? (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
They played music in the background?
- TVTheo Von
No, but that, it looks like that pattern.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs) Let me see that again. Yeah, it looks a lot like that, like a transplant. The ... yeah.
- TVTheo Von
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mi- micrografts.
- TVTheo Von
Yeah, that's what it looks like, man.
- JRJoe Rogan
So what I sent you, Jamie, it just shows like the entire country. That show you? Look at that. That's crazy.
- TVTheo Von
Oh, that's interesting.
- JRJoe Rogan
That's crazy. There's no blue states, just blue cities.
- TVTheo Von
Well then, why do you think that th- that the, why do you think the cities and states are so much different then?
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, cities are always gonna be blue. Um, it's normal. (clears throat) It, there's a lot of factors. One of 'em is you have massive populations of people, right? And you, uh, when you have massive populations of people, they'll, a lot of times it's, uh, based around universities. Like Los Angeles is slightly different, because Los Angeles has universities, but really it's like more around Hollywood, which is equally delusional. But most big cities are flavored by a university. Like Austin is flavored by the University of Texas.
- TVTheo Von
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's why Austin is progressive. Austin is, f- for people that don't know outside of Texas, Austin is one of the most progressive cities. Like if you look at, we voted in Austin, the City of Austin, voted more for Kamala Harris than the City of Los Angeles did.
- TVTheo Von
Oh, wow. Really?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, a higher percentage of Democrats voted for Kamala Harris than even Los Angeles.
- 3:56 – 6:02
Economy stress and the rise of crime: ‘catch and release’ policing
- TVTheo Von
Well, I think a lot, al- it seems like a lot, like a lot of Democrats, I don't know like a ton about politics, but it seems like a lot of Democrats like, it's h- I understand the, a lot of the voting, 'cause it's hopeful voting. It's like wishful thinking.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. Well, they're, they're feeding off of narratives, like, "You're a good person if you believe this." But the consequences are what they're ignoring, the pretending that the economy's in a great place. That's crazy. Talk to anybody who's broke. Talk to anybody who's struggling to pay for bills and groceries. Talk to anybody who's trying to buy a car. The, the economy's bananas right now. It's sketchy, very sketchy. And it-
- TVTheo Von
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
A lot of it is-
- TVTheo Von
People are robbing each other on Facebook Marketplace.
- JRJoe Rogan
A lot of it's recovering from COVID, I'm sure, a lot of, I mean, there's probably a lot of, uh, blowback from that. I mean, they shut the whole fucking country down, th- which is just so nuts.
- TVTheo Von
That was insane, man. I think that's one of the like ... But yeah, pe- I mean, yeah, people are robbing each other on Facebook Marketplace. My buddy was going to buy a couple walkie-talkies off a guy, right? Gets fucking mugged, right?
- JRJoe Rogan
Really?
- TVTheo Von
Yeah. He was going to buy a couple of, um ...
- JRJoe Rogan
So he meets the guy to go get the walkie-talkies-
- TVTheo Von
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... and the guy mugs him?
- TVTheo Von
And it's like the seventh story I've heard. But it's like, you know, people are doing cri- you know, people are resorting to crime, and that's when it's not good, I feel like, you know, when-
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, not just that.
- TVTheo Von
... when people are resorting to crime.
- JRJoe Rogan
One of the things this administration did that I think is terrible, and this is a progressive liberal thing, is that you have these DAs, these George Soros-funded Das that just let people out for violent crime, and g- get the no cash bail thing. And when there's no repercussions for crime, guess what? Crime goes way the fuck up.
- TVTheo Von
Oh yeah, if I'm a criminal and they're like, "Hey, it's crime time," or whatever-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- TVTheo Von
... I'm gonna fucking put on my cleats or whatever, I'm gonna get out there.
- JRJoe Rogan
You know you're gonna go to jail and you're just gonna get released.
- TVTheo Von
Yeah, it's like catch and release.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- TVTheo Von
It's almost like the, um, fishing rules or whatever.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs) Like if you go trout fishing in the lake. (laughs)
- TVTheo Von
(laughs) I mean, a little bit.
- JRJoe Rogan
You're a fly, you're a fly fishermen.
- TVTheo Von
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
You used to be a cop, now you're a fly fishermen with barbless hooks.
- TVTheo Von
You just have a pair of Nikes on the hook.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. (laughs)
- 6:02 – 9:36
From crime to fly-fishing: patience, masculinity jokes, and grandma’s catfish lessons
- TVTheo Von
I went fly-fishing recently.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah?
- TVTheo Von
Yeah, man.
- JRJoe Rogan
Did you have a good time?
- TVTheo Von
It, it, it... Yeah, you know what I did? I, I thought it was like, um... Let me think about what I thought it was like. Uh...
- JRJoe Rogan
It's the more sophisticated way to go fishing.
- TVTheo Von
Yes. It was like, "Excuse me, fish."
- JRJoe Rogan
Yes. Gentle casts.
- TVTheo Von
Yes. It was like, "Hey."
- JRJoe Rogan
It also requires a lot more skill.
- TVTheo Von
Well, it require- it requires more patience.
- JRJoe Rogan
For sure.
- TVTheo Von
You can't like, um... Like, if you have a kid or whatever, you can't do it. Like, you-
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- TVTheo Von
Like, if you're just fishing on the bank, you can have your kid. And he can be sitting there smoking or whatever your kid (laughs) likes to do, you know? But if you, if you're in that... You have to constantly be moving it.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- TVTheo Von
You know? It's very kind of like, um... It's kind of homoerotic almost.
- JRJoe Rogan
What? Really?
- TVTheo Von
It's like, "Hey, fish," or whatever.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, it's flailing.
- TVTheo Von
Yeah. It's like, "Hey, fish."
- JRJoe Rogan
It's gentle. You think so?
- TVTheo Von
Yeah, dude. You haven't seen those guys?
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- TVTheo Von
(laughs) Homoerotic. It's like, "Hey, fish, I'm over here."
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- TVTheo Von
"I'm over here, boys."
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, the least sophisticated form of fishing is, like, a bobber with a worm on it.
- TVTheo Von
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right? That's the least. You throw it out there. But that's some of the most fun fishing 'cause that bobber starts moving and you're like, "Oh, shit."
- 9:36 – 11:56
Pronouns, ‘they/them,’ and shifting identity labels
- JRJoe Rogan
What's that fucking dude's name, the chubby dude that, uh, dressed up like the devil and everybody got mad? He's a singer? Sam?
- NANarrator
Sam Smith.
- JRJoe Rogan
What's that?
- NANarrator
Sam Smith.
- JRJoe Rogan
Sam Smith. Yeah. He (laughs) ... He said he wanted to be a fisher them.
- TVTheo Von
Oh, God.
- JRJoe Rogan
Not a fisherman, a fisher her-
- TVTheo Von
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
... a fisher she. (laughs) A fisher them.
- TVTheo Von
Yeah, that's wild.
- JRJoe Rogan
Uh, the they/them thing is the, that's the best evidence you need that people are out of their fucking minds. You can't be plural, you fucking idiot. Stop.
- TVTheo Von
Well, like, the only thing I think, it's like, it's almost... If you're being plural, you're, uh... I don't understand it. Like, if you're being plural, are you being, like how there's more of me kind of? Like, that's what I don't understand. Is it like an ego trip? Like, that's, you know, like, um, that's what I don't understand about the...
- JRJoe Rogan
It's just a way to be unique. And it's a way to be in a marginalized community if you're just a regular person.
- TVTheo Von
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
So, like, if you're a regular white person, you're at the lower end of the social hierarchy amongst woke p- woke people. But if you're queer or non-binary, now you're in a protected group.
- TVTheo Von
My buddy's-
- JRJoe Rogan
Now you're in.
- TVTheo Von
... queer, actually.
- JRJoe Rogan
Nice. What does he have to do to be queer?
- TVTheo Von
Nothing. He's cool. He's just, he doesn't... Yeah, he didn't like send you an email update or whatever. He's just-
- JRJoe Rogan
Did he update his Twitter pronouns?
- TVTheo Von
No. He's just like a...
- JRJoe Rogan
He just decides he's queer.
- TVTheo Von
Yeah. He's like a secret... Not secret. He's like... I don't know. He's just like a, or... I don't even know what they call it. I gotta look at the chart or whatever.
- JRJoe Rogan
What is, what is queer these days? 'Cause when I was a kid, queer was gay. If someone was queer, they're gay. Or if you got punched in the head, then you're on Queer Street. It was like everything was confusing. Queer was confusing.
- TVTheo Von
Okay.
- JRJoe Rogan
And then queer became gay somewhere along the line. But now I think queer is whatever you want it to be.
- TVTheo Von
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
You could be gay, bi, straight.
- TVTheo Von
(sighs)
- 11:56 – 13:09
Theo’s anxiety with women and why comedy feels like courting the crowd
- JRJoe Rogan
Why you afraid to talk to the women?
- TVTheo Von
No, I don't know. You know, I get, I, I, uh, I, I think get afraid to, like... I just, I've always, I always got afraid to approach, approach women, you know?
- JRJoe Rogan
Really?
- TVTheo Von
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... but boy, you're a handsome fellow. You're funny. You're successful.
- TVTheo Von
I don't know. I think something I just, uh-
- JRJoe Rogan
Childhood shit?
- TVTheo Von
Yeah, probably. There's something, like, you know, just re-
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- TVTheo Von
Yeah, like I just, I would just be so fucking nervous, buddy. You know?
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm.
- TVTheo Von
When I, oh, when I was a kid I would be so nervous.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm.
- TVTheo Von
I would, yeah, I would be so nervous.
- JRJoe Rogan
Which is interesting that you got into standup comedy, which makes people really fucking nervous.
- TVTheo Von
Well, I think I was familiar with being nervous, so that didn't affect me.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, interesting, 'cause you're nervous all the time. You're like, "Fuck it. I'll just go be nervous in front of all these people."
- TVTheo Von
Oh, the audience is the... When you're on stage, the audience is just a woman.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, like you're just trying to get them to like you.
- TVTheo Von
You're just trying to get, yeah. You're like, "How do we get-"
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- TVTheo Von
"... this to work out?" You know?
- JRJoe Rogan
How do I get you to like me more?
- TVTheo Von
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Who do I have to be? I was-
- TVTheo Von
Man, the other night was crazy. Sorry, I cut you off, go ahead.
- JRJoe Rogan
No, no, go ahead.
- TVTheo Von
I got nothing, man. It's just-
- JRJoe Rogan
No, the other night was crazy.
- TVTheo Von
This week's been cra- it's just been a crazy week.
- 13:09 – 28:46
Election results drama, Elon’s ‘early win’ data, and 2020 vote-count suspicion
- JRJoe Rogan
It was interesting because the beginning of the night no one knew what was gonna happen. So you're watching the first results roll in and there's, like, this weird thing. And then Trump gets way ahead, but you're like, you don't wanna, like, get too hopeful. Like, how far ahead is he? He's ahead by 100 points. That seems like a lot.
- TVTheo Von
Yeah, and you're like, what does it... And some channels are like... And then every channel's kinda different.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, they had different numbers. I was getting a different number off my Apple news update than I was getting off of CNN. And then I was texting people, like Tulsi and JD Vance. I was getting a different up-... Apparently Elon created an app and he knew who won four hours before the results. So as the results were coming in before-
- TVTheo Von
Nah-ah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Four hours before they called it, Dana White told me Elon was like, "I'm leaving. It's over. Donald won." (laughs) He just fucking-
- TVTheo Von
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
He just fucking, some how or another-
- TVTheo Von
I'm gonna go back into my pod and evaporate.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's like the be- I don't know what he's getting, where he's pulling his data from, but he had, like, the most accurate data in terms of the rural states hadn't put their results in yet, but yet Trump was ahead in these states. It's, Kamala's never gonna win those states, so tabulated that and-
- TVTheo Von
Wow.
- JRJoe Rogan
... like, put it all together. I don't, I don't know how he did it.
- TVTheo Von
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
But Dana told... I don't even, I haven't even talked to Elon about this, so I don't know, like, the Dana translation. But Dana said he had an app, and he was, like, showing him. He's like, "It's over."
- TVTheo Von
And- (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
And he fucking left. Dude just left.
- TVTheo Von
It's over. Jon Jones won.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- TVTheo Von
(laughs) Just saying that.
- JRJoe Rogan
He just fucking left.
- TVTheo Von
Dude, yeah, I mean, the whole thing's crazy to me. I'm so happy for, uh... My biggest thing was I was so happy for Bobby Kennedy, man.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- TVTheo Von
Because he's the only person that I super know, like, as a human, you know?
- JRJoe Rogan
Uh-huh.
- TVTheo Von
Um, he's been a buddy of mine for years, and I've just known that he's a... Like, I trust him, like you, uh, it's almost like you have f- you have people that you know and that are good people. It's like-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- TVTheo Von
I have to trust my own instincts at some point and know I know him.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- TVTheo Von
You know, he's a, he's a, somebody I would vouch for.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- TVTheo Von
You know, he's a good guy and he's been helpful to me, like in, i- in moments, um, where I have had str- have, have struggled as a person, and just, uh, been inspirational to me. You know, it's like I know him.
- 28:46 – 30:08
Make Election Day a national holiday (and why politics feels existential)
- JRJoe Rogan
Voting should be a national holiday.
- TVTheo Von
I agree. I don't understand-
- JRJoe Rogan
It's crazy that you give some people a complication, like imagine if you have a shithead boss. You're like, "I gotta vote." "Why did you vote early?"
- TVTheo Von
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
'Cause I was working for you, you piece of shit.
- TVTheo Von
Yeah. (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
Let me go. Let me go vote.
- TVTheo Von
Yeah, uh, I mean, they give Christopher Columbus (laughs) as a holiday, dude.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, fuck that guy.
- TVTheo Von
The Lieutenant Dan of the 1400s.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- TVTheo Von
That dude gets a fucking holiday. (laughs) Okay?
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs) Yeah, why don't you go read what th-
- TVTheo Von
But you don't get a day off.
- JRJoe Rogan
... what that guy did? Hey, let's get rid of Christopher Columbus. They should change it to Indigenous Peoples Day, like ... And the indigenous people are like, "Thanks, after you wiped out 90% of us."
- TVTheo Von
Yeah. (laughs) Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
"Thanks for giving us a day." How about we keep that day? That's fine. But how about we have an election, national election holiday? We could do with-
- TVTheo Von
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... one more holiday.
- TVTheo Von
Celebrate it. It's a great day.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yes.
- TVTheo Von
People can rejoice. And then I think-
- JRJoe Rogan
Cookouts.
- TVTheo Von
Yep. It would take a lot of stress off people, too. It's like today's also-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- TVTheo Von
... a day of celebration. It's not this day that I have to sneak away from work and be sneaky or whatever-
- JRJoe Rogan
You should have a paid-
- TVTheo Von
... and eat in my car.
- JRJoe Rogan
It should have, be a paid holiday.
- TVTheo Von
Yeah.
- 30:08 – 48:53
Platforming candidates: Theo on interviewing Trump and Joe on wanting Kamala unfiltered
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, very crazy. What ... Well, you were one of the first guys to have him on the podcast. Did you have any hesitancy having him on at all?
- TVTheo Von
(inhales) Um ... My brother actually ... My brother's, my brother's a lot smarter than me, and he said, "Hey, man, uh, I just want you to think that there could be some reflection from people if you have him on," right? Like, you could, people, some people could be upset about it.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- TVTheo Von
You know? And I thought about that a little bit, and I was like, "Well, I don't really..."Like, I, I, like, I don't know, you know, like, I have political thoughts and beliefs and stuff like that, and it's, like, it's hard to find a group that really embodies them. And if anything, right now for me, it seems like I don't even feel like these new parties are the same as the old parties.
- JRJoe Rogan
They're not.
- TVTheo Von
It doesn't seem, like, this isn't democrats and republics. This, there's something else transmorphing right now.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- TVTheo Von
And so, um, I thought, like, I thought, well I think I'm, I just wanna be able to have a chance to talk to this guy, you know? And the main thing for me was, like, um, like you talked about Dana White earlier, he's really, uh, you know, I know that you guys worked together and he, you know, I knew that Trump's brother suffered from addiction, right? I knew that. Right? I, I just, or I heard that or something and I looked into it and it's like, okay he lost his brother, his brother died of addiction. So I was like, well that's interesting to me. You know? And I wish that people, I wonder if there's more to Donald Trump. Like, is there more of a way to talk with him about something that means, you know, a lo- try to get an emotional well, like more of an emotional well to him that see- than it seems like that's in the public.
- JRJoe Rogan
Well there was a thing that was going on for a while where you were platforming people. This was the idea, like if you had on a guy like Trump you were platforming this bad person. This was, this was this thing.
- TVTheo Von
Yeah, I didn't think about that at all.
- JRJoe Rogan
But it's a, it's, it's an authoritarian way to regulate conversations that let you know more about people and it's stupid because people don't want to have a nuanced perspective on anybody. Look, I'm sh-, this is one of the reasons I wanted to talk to Kamala Harris. I'm like, "I bet there's a person in there. I bet I can get to that person."
- TVTheo Von
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
I wanted to find that person. I don't wanna hear all the speeches, I don't wanna hear, uh, "I was raised middle class." I don't wanna hear any of that shit.
- TVTheo Von
She's a roller skater, you know that?
- JRJoe Rogan
No, I would love to find that out.
- TVTheo Von
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
I would love to talk to her about all kinds of shit. Um, I would, I literally said, like 'cause there was a few restrictions of things they didn't want to talk about, but I said, "I don't give a fuck. Like, we'll get her in here." Like, "Whatever you wanna talk about." And they wanna know if I edit, and like there's not gonna be any editing. There's no editing.
- TVTheo Von
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
We're not gonna edit. Uh, but...
- TVTheo Von
Yeah, that's the same thing they asked us.
- JRJoe Rogan
I just-
- TVTheo Von
Is there an edit, you know?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. I just wanted to talk. I just, like, I feel like you give someone a couple of hours and you start talking about anything, I'ma see the pattern of the way you think. I'm gonna see the way you process ideas. I'm gonna see whether or not you're calculated or whether you're just free.
- TVTheo Von
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Or are you comfortable with you or do you, are you projecting things? Like, she's got 80 different accents, how do you decide which one to pull out?
- TVTheo Von
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like she's got like... (laughs)
- TVTheo Von
Yeah, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
She busts out different accents depending on who she's talking to.
- TVTheo Von
Yeah. I mean, I'll do that. (laughs)
- 48:53 – 1:00:46
Tony Hinchcliffe’s Puerto Rico joke: how a rally could have scapegoated him
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs) There's a video of us at the Mothership.
- TVTheo Von
What is going on? (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
We, we played it yesterday, but I wanna play it again, Jamie. Play the video, uh, it's on my Instagram, of Tony is on stage in the main room. By the way, when Tony goes on stage, it's like Richard Pryor just showed up.
- TVTheo Von
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
"Yeah!"... they were going-
- TVTheo Von
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... nuts. He murdered. He has 35 minutes on him.
- TVTheo Von
Oh, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
He's on stage- ... about the Puerto Rican joke. And, you know-
- TVTheo Von
(laughs)
- NANarrator
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
No way. At the same time?
- TVTheo Von
Yeah, at the same time. Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Wow. Look at this. I mean, it's amazing. It's like, uh-
- NANarrator
That was impossible. (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
... 10 years ago. They were going against Hillary Clinton. This is a simulation for sure. We're definitely in a simulation.
- TVTheo Von
Oh, my God.
- JRJoe Rogan
So this guy was on Fox talking about Tony on one TV while Tony was on stage on the TV monitor.
- TVTheo Von
That's unbelievable.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- TVTheo Von
We did it.
- JRJoe Rogan
He was so nervous 'cause here's what was gonna happen. If he lost, you know, so the way these news organizations work, they have outlines-
- TVTheo Von
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... for stories if Kamala wins.
- TVTheo Von
Uh-huh.
- JRJoe Rogan
They have outs- outlines for stories if Trump wins. If, if Trump lost, they were gonna blame it on Tony.
- TVTheo Von
Mm-hmm.
- JRJoe Rogan
They had stories where they're gonna-
- TVTheo Von
Nuh-uh.
- JRJoe Rogan
... blame it on that joke, and they were gonna say that that joke turned the tides and made people realize that Trump organization's-
- 1:00:46 – 1:08:29
Hollywood performative politics, woke hierarchy, and modern slavery numbers
- JRJoe Rogan
You never saw it? S- find it, 'cause it's kinda funny.
- TVTheo Von
Is he the Intercontinental Champion? I don't even rem- I, I haven't watched wrestling in a bit.
- JRJoe Rogan
He was a big-time wrestler. Was a giant dude. Like, fucking built like a superhero. And then he went and did Guardians of the Galaxy. He was a giant dude in that.
- TVTheo Von
Oh yeah, with Chris Pratt?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. He's a big, giant wrestler dude.
- TVTheo Von
Yes, now I know who you're talking about.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. But he wants to be a movie star, so he's losing some weight. He's a good actor, too, man. He was good in that, um ... What was that movie? The Glass ... Onion? The Glass Onion. Yeah. That was a great movie. That w- he was really good in that. Um ...
- TVTheo Von
I'm trying to think of what I've seen recently.
- JRJoe Rogan
He's just like a ... If you're a big, giant dude, and you're a big muscle-bound giant dude, and you wanna do, like, serious roles, like you kinda gotta lose some weight. You know, you gotta ... And you kinda gotta, like, support Kamala Harris. You kinda gotta, like, wear ...... pearls. You kinda gotta, like, soften your stance. You know, you gotta kinda, like, be performative that you're the guy that they would wanna pick, 'cause that's, like, part of the battle. Like, here, let me give you this.
- TVTheo Von
Oh, that's him?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- TVTheo Von
Thought that was Eddie Bravo, dude.
- NANarrator
Some kind of tough guy. He's not. I mean, look at him. He wears more makeup than Dolly Parton. (laughing) Whines like a baby. The guy's afraid of birds. (birds screeching) (laughing) Donald Trump had his daddy pay a doctor to say his little feet hurt so he could dodge the draft. Look at that gut. It's like a garbage bag full of buttermilk. (laughing) He sells imaginary baseball cards, pretending to be a cowboy fireman. The guy's barely strong enough to hold an umbrella. (camera clicking)
- JRJoe Rogan
While he's working out.
- TVTheo Von
And where is this? At Jocko's Gym?
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- NANarrator
Like a little pink chickadee. (laughing)
- TVTheo Von
(laughs) That's pretty funny.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- NANarrator
He's got jugs, big ones, like Dolly Parton. He cheats at golf. He creeps around beauty pageant dressing rooms. You know that little dance he does?
- TVTheo Von
Yeah, he's a pervert, dude. Who isn't a pervert?
- NANarrator
He looks like he's checking out the girls' dress. He's moody, he pouts, he throws tantrums.
- JRJoe Rogan
No, get those lights off.
- NANarrator
He acts like a five-year-old behind the wheel of a truck. (truck honking) He bends over for Putin, is cattier on social media than a middle school mean girl. The guy needs help walking downhill. Almost there, Grandma. This November, let's stop kidding ourselves. Donald Trump is afraid.
- TVTheo Von
I don't watch this kinda stuff.
- JRJoe Rogan
Look at this, the punches.
- NANarrator
Of dogs, windmills, Meryl (beep) Streepe, and being laughed at. (laughing)
Isn't it past your jail time?
But mostly, he's terrified that real, red-blooded American men will find out that he's a weak, tubby toddler.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mommy, take me home. Mommy, I wanna go home. (laughs)
- 1:08:29 – 1:12:18
California Prop 6, prison labor, and the business incentives of incarceration
- NANarrator
Did you see Prop 6 in California?
- JRJoe Rogan
What is that?
- NANarrator
That's on the screen.
- JRJoe Rogan
Prop 6 prohibits slavery and involuntary servitude.
- NANarrator
And it did not pass.
- JRJoe Rogan
(gasps) What?
- TVTheo Von
Wow.
- JRJoe Rogan
What? Wait a minute. What?
- NANarrator
Yeah. (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
In California?
- NANarrator
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
"Proposed amendment to California's constitution would bar slavery in any form and repeal a current provision allowing involuntary servitude as a punishment for crime."
- TVTheo Von
'Cause a lot of them gay producers trying to tranq out them twinks, homie.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- TVTheo Von
That's why, bro.
- JRJoe Rogan
Keep them as slaves?
- TVTheo Von
I'll tell ... Yeah, bro. They bite every now and then. (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
How would you ... Why?
- TVTheo Von
Every now and then, a fricking, some twink fucking clamors out of an air vent.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh. Oh, here it is.
- NANarrator
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's forced labor in prisons.
- TVTheo Von
Oh, okay.
- NANarrator
It has to do with paying people to work in prisons and do s- like, they have to fight the wildfires and stuff.
- JRJoe Rogan
Interesting. So, they want them to have to work? Wow.
- NANarrator
They just don't wanna pay.
- JRJoe Rogan
Bro.
- TVTheo Von
Yeah. That's California.
- JRJoe Rogan
But that is what happened, right? That was what the Jim Crow Laws were all about, man. Like, one, one of the things about slavery is, slavery didn't end, "Boom, now let's give Black people jobs." No. Slavery ended, and then there was this long period where Black men would get arrested for anything and everything.
- TVTheo Von
Yeah.
Episode duration: 3:21:36
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Transcript of episode IfSjQyFd7aU
