Joe Rogan Experience #2226 - Theo Von

Narrator 0:00 (drumming music) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

0:04 The Joe Rogan Experience.

0:06 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music)

Theo Von 0:12 What up, dog? These are like conversation condoms, aren't they?

Joe Rogan 0:15 Yeah, a little bit. (clears throat) Well, it's like a, a safe room, blocks out the world.

Theo Von 0:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:22 Conversation only exists inside your ears, you know? Locks you in. I, I think it locks you in.

Theo Von 0:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:27 That's what I like about it.

Theo Von 0:29 Yeah, it's almost like a, a football player kind of putting on their helmet.

Joe Rogan 0:32 Right, ready to go, ready to go.

Theo Von 0:33 Like, we're ready for this, yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:35 Yo, how fun was election night at the mothership?

Theo Von 0:38 It was baffling, man. I mean, here, I'll tell ... (laughs) It was, uh ...

Joe Rogan 0:42 (laughs)

Theo Von 0:42 I mean, it was crazy.

Joe Rogan 0:44 It was so much fun. We had such a good time. That green win was so positive, the-

Theo Von 0:49 My favorite part, at one point they were playing that song, um, (singing) "You talk about a revolution."

Joe Rogan 0:55 (laughs)

Theo Von 0:55 And people were dancing, people were smoking weed. There was a b- I think there was a baby smoking weed.

Joe Rogan 1:00 (laughs)

Theo Von 1:00 People, there was, everybody was like, people were like, make ... It was crazy, dude.

Joe Rogan 1:04 It felt-

Theo Von 1:05 Adam and Eve were in there. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:07 (laughs)

Theo Von 1:07 It was just, there was just a lot going on.

Joe Rogan 1:09 It felt like America's brighter. That's what it felt like. We were, we were moving towards this insane world where we're being controlled by liars. We're just being gaslit left and right. We saw it all over the media, we saw it all over the news, things that were right in front of your face, they're trying to deny. There's just so much craziness, and then all of a sudden, poof, the world's woke. Did you see the map of the actual country, like how many places-

Theo Von 1:41 I've seen it before.

Joe Rogan 1:41 ... actually vote, voted red?

Theo Von 1:44 Oh, no, I don't know if I saw that or not.

Joe Rogan 1:45 It's just a few cities. Even California was mostly red. That's what's crazy.

Theo Von 1:51 We had, uh ... I don't know if I saw that. I'm trying to think of what I saw.

Joe Rogan 1:56 There's a, um, there's a n-

Theo Von 1:58 Oh, Tony was nervous, remember?

Joe Rogan 2:02 (laughs)

Theo Von 2:02 Remember that, dude? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:04 Tony better be fucking nervous.

Theo Von 2:06 Dude, I kept just going up to him and going, (singing) "Feliz Navidad," (laughs) just to fucking get his vibes.

Joe Rogan 2:12 Look at that.

Theo Von 2:13 Oh, wow.

Joe Rogan 2:15 This is the one I saw, Jamie. I'll send this to you. It's got music to it.

Theo Von 2:20 This looks like when I got that hair surgery.

Joe Rogan 2:24 (laughs)

Theo Von 2:24 You know what I'm talking about? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:25 They played music in the background?

Theo Von 2:27 No, but that, it looks like that pattern.

Joe Rogan 2:29 (laughs) Let me see that again. Yeah, it looks a lot like that, like a transplant. The ... yeah.

Theo Von 2:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:36 Mi- micrografts.

Theo Von 2:38 Yeah, that's what it looks like, man.

Joe Rogan 2:40 So what I sent you, Jamie, it just shows like the entire country. That show you? Look at that. That's crazy.

Theo Von 2:50 Oh, that's interesting.

Joe Rogan 2:51 That's crazy. There's no blue states, just blue cities.

Theo Von 2:55 Well then, why do you think that th- that the, why do you think the cities and states are so much different then?

Joe Rogan 3:00 Well, cities are always gonna be blue. Um, it's normal. (clears throat) It, there's a lot of factors. One of 'em is you have massive populations of people, right? And you, uh, when you have massive populations of people, they'll, a lot of times it's, uh, based around universities. Like Los Angeles is slightly different, because Los Angeles has universities, but really it's like more around Hollywood, which is equally delusional. But most big cities are flavored by a university. Like Austin is flavored by the University of Texas.

Theo Von 3:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:34 It's why Austin is progressive. Austin is, f- for people that don't know outside of Texas, Austin is one of the most progressive cities. Like if you look at, we voted in Austin, the City of Austin, voted more for Kamala Harris than the City of Los Angeles did.

Theo Von 3:49 Oh, wow. Really?

Joe Rogan 3:50 Yeah, a higher percentage of Democrats voted for Kamala Harris than even Los Angeles.

Theo Von 3:56 Well, I think a lot, al- it seems like a lot, like a lot of Democrats, I don't know like a ton about politics, but it seems like a lot of Democrats like, it's h- I understand the, a lot of the voting, 'cause it's hopeful voting. It's like wishful thinking.

Joe Rogan 4:10 Yeah. Well, they're, they're feeding off of narratives, like, "You're a good person if you believe this." But the consequences are what they're ignoring, the pretending that the economy's in a great place. That's crazy. Talk to anybody who's broke. Talk to anybody who's struggling to pay for bills and groceries. Talk to anybody who's trying to buy a car. The, the economy's bananas right now. It's sketchy, very sketchy. And it-

Theo Von 4:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:34 A lot of it is-

Theo Von 4:35 People are robbing each other on Facebook Marketplace.

Joe Rogan 4:37 A lot of it's recovering from COVID, I'm sure, a lot of, I mean, there's probably a lot of, uh, blowback from that. I mean, they shut the whole fucking country down, th- which is just so nuts.

Theo Von 4:46 That was insane, man. I think that's one of the like ... But yeah, pe- I mean, yeah, people are robbing each other on Facebook Marketplace. My buddy was going to buy a couple walkie-talkies off a guy, right? Gets fucking mugged, right?

Joe Rogan 4:56 Really?

Theo Von 4:57 Yeah. He was going to buy a couple of, um ...

Joe Rogan 4:59 So he meets the guy to go get the walkie-talkies-

Theo Von 5:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:01 ... and the guy mugs him?

Theo Von 5:02 And it's like the seventh story I've heard. But it's like, you know, people are doing cri- you know, people are resorting to crime, and that's when it's not good, I feel like, you know, when-

Joe Rogan 5:11 Well, not just that.

Theo Von 5:11 ... when people are resorting to crime.

Joe Rogan 5:13 One of the things this administration did that I think is terrible, and this is a progressive liberal thing, is that you have these DAs, these George Soros-funded Das that just let people out for violent crime, and g- get the no cash bail thing. And when there's no repercussions for crime, guess what? Crime goes way the fuck up.

Theo Von 5:31 Oh yeah, if I'm a criminal and they're like, "Hey, it's crime time," or whatever-

Joe Rogan 5:34 Yeah.

Theo Von 5:35 ... I'm gonna fucking put on my cleats or whatever, I'm gonna get out there.

Joe Rogan 5:38 You know you're gonna go to jail and you're just gonna get released.

Theo Von 5:40 Yeah, it's like catch and release.

Joe Rogan 5:41 Yeah.

Theo Von 5:41 It's almost like the, um, fishing rules or whatever.

Joe Rogan 5:45 (laughs) Like if you go trout fishing in the lake. (laughs)

Theo Von 5:47 (laughs) I mean, a little bit.

Joe Rogan 5:49 You're a fly, you're a fly fishermen.

Theo Von 5:50 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:51 You used to be a cop, now you're a fly fishermen with barbless hooks.

Theo Von 5:53 You just have a pair of Nikes on the hook.

Joe Rogan 5:55 Yeah. (laughs)

Theo Von 5:55 You just put them out there. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:58 Yeah, those fishermen, they use barbless hooks.... and then they'd let the fish go.

Theo Von 6:02 I went fly-fishing recently.

Joe Rogan 6:04 Yeah?

Theo Von 6:04 Yeah, man.

Joe Rogan 6:05 Did you have a good time?

Theo Von 6:06 It, it, it... Yeah, you know what I did? I, I thought it was like, um... Let me think about what I thought it was like. Uh...

Joe Rogan 6:14 It's the more sophisticated way to go fishing.

Theo Von 6:15 Yes. It was like, "Excuse me, fish."

Joe Rogan 6:18 Yes. Gentle casts.

Theo Von 6:19 Yes. It was like, "Hey."

Joe Rogan 6:21 It also requires a lot more skill.

Theo Von 6:23 Well, it require- it requires more patience.

Joe Rogan 6:26 For sure.

Theo Von 6:26 You can't like, um... Like, if you have a kid or whatever, you can't do it. Like, you-

Joe Rogan 6:31 Right.

Theo Von 6:32 Like, if you're just fishing on the bank, you can have your kid. And he can be sitting there smoking or whatever your kid (laughs) likes to do, you know? But if you, if you're in that... You have to constantly be moving it.

Joe Rogan 6:40 Right.

Theo Von 6:40 You know? It's very kind of like, um... It's kind of homoerotic almost.

Joe Rogan 6:46 What? Really?

Theo Von 6:46 It's like, "Hey, fish," or whatever.

Joe Rogan 6:48 Oh, it's flailing.

Theo Von 6:49 Yeah. It's like, "Hey, fish."

Joe Rogan 6:51 It's gentle. You think so?

Theo Von 6:52 Yeah, dude. You haven't seen those guys?

Joe Rogan 6:53 (laughs)

Theo Von 6:54 (laughs) Homoerotic. It's like, "Hey, fish, I'm over here."

Joe Rogan 7:00 (laughs)

Theo Von 7:00 "I'm over here, boys."

Joe Rogan 7:01 Well, the least sophisticated form of fishing is, like, a bobber with a worm on it.

Theo Von 7:05 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:06 Right? That's the least. You throw it out there. But that's some of the most fun fishing 'cause that bobber starts moving and you're like, "Oh, shit."

Theo Von 7:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:11 "Oh, shit, I think we got one. Oh, shit."

Theo Von 7:13 It's like Jaws all of a sudden.

Joe Rogan 7:14 Bro, fishing is so exciting.

Theo Von 7:16 Yeah, my grandma used to take us fishing, dude. And she would, she was like a malignant fisherman or whatever. And she would, um-

Joe Rogan 7:23 Degenerate?

Theo Von 7:25 Yeah, like very-

Joe Rogan 7:26 What do you mean by malignant?

Theo Von 7:26 She was like a staunch fisherman.

Joe Rogan 7:27 (laughs)

Theo Von 7:27 Like staunch. Like, "We're fishing," you know?

Joe Rogan 7:30 Oh, aggressive.

Theo Von 7:31 "You better not fucking not fish." You know?

Joe Rogan 7:33 Really?

Theo Von 7:33 She would like kinda have that kind of behavior. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:34 Wow.

Theo Von 7:34 She was very, "You better fucking fish, white boy."

Joe Rogan 7:38 Whoa.

Theo Von 7:38 You know? She would kind of be like that.

Joe Rogan 7:40 Aggressive.

Theo Von 7:40 Yes, very aggressive, right?

Joe Rogan 7:41 About fishing. For little kids.

Theo Von 7:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:43 Very strange.

Theo Von 7:43 And we have to be quiet and look straight out-

Joe Rogan 7:46 Hmm.

Theo Von 7:46 ... and wait for the bobber. But she was really, um, she loved to fish.

Joe Rogan 7:51 Did she love to eat fish?

Theo Von 7:52 Yup, she liked to skin 'em and, and grill 'em and everything.

Joe Rogan 7:55 Yeah?

Theo Von 7:55 Yeah. It was cool.

Joe Rogan 7:57 What kind of fish?

Theo Von 7:57 Mostly catfish, bullheads. We used to fish up in, like, Spoon River up in, like, Illinois.

Joe Rogan 8:01 Do you guys use, like, uh, chicken liver for-

Theo Von 8:03 Yeah.

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Theo Von 9:16 We would get out there, we'd have a little thermos full of chicken liver.

Joe Rogan 9:19 Yeah, chicken liver works, man.

Theo Von 9:20 You know? My grandfather would say anything and she'd fucking look at him and he'd na-

Joe Rogan 9:23 Ugh.

Theo Von 9:23 He wouldn't talk for a month after that. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:25 (laughs) She was the fisherman.

Theo Von 9:26 She was.

Joe Rogan 9:27 The fisherwoman.

Theo Von 9:28 Yeah, she was, she loved to fish. I think she liked, um, she liked catching her own meals. Even... You know, she didn't like to hunt, but she liked to fish.

Joe Rogan 9:36 What's that fucking dude's name, the chubby dude that, uh, dressed up like the devil and everybody got mad? He's a singer? Sam?

Narrator 9:43 Sam Smith.

Joe Rogan 9:43 What's that?

Narrator 9:43 Sam Smith.

Joe Rogan 9:44 Sam Smith. Yeah. He (laughs) ... He said he wanted to be a fisher them.

Theo Von 9:50 Oh, God.

Joe Rogan 9:51 Not a fisherman, a fisher her-

Theo Von 9:53 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:53 ... a fisher she. (laughs) A fisher them.

Theo Von 9:56 Yeah, that's wild.

Joe Rogan 9:57 Uh, the they/them thing is the, that's the best evidence you need that people are out of their fucking minds. You can't be plural, you fucking idiot. Stop.

Theo Von 10:04 Well, like, the only thing I think, it's like, it's almost... If you're being plural, you're, uh... I don't understand it. Like, if you're being plural, are you being, like how there's more of me kind of? Like, that's what I don't understand. Is it like an ego trip? Like, that's, you know, like, um, that's what I don't understand about the...

Joe Rogan 10:22 It's just a way to be unique. And it's a way to be in a marginalized community if you're just a regular person.

Theo Von 10:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:27 So, like, if you're a regular white person, you're at the lower end of the social hierarchy amongst woke p- woke people. But if you're queer or non-binary, now you're in a protected group.

Theo Von 10:39 My buddy's-

Joe Rogan 10:40 Now you're in.

Theo Von 10:40 ... queer, actually.

Joe Rogan 10:41 Nice. What does he have to do to be queer?

Theo Von 10:44 Nothing. He's cool. He's just, he doesn't... Yeah, he didn't like send you an email update or whatever. He's just-

Joe Rogan 10:49 Did he update his Twitter pronouns?

Theo Von 10:51 No. He's just like a...

Joe Rogan 10:53 He just decides he's queer.

Theo Von 10:54 Yeah. He's like a secret... Not secret. He's like... I don't know. He's just like a, or... I don't even know what they call it. I gotta look at the chart or whatever.

Joe Rogan 11:03 What is, what is queer these days? 'Cause when I was a kid, queer was gay. If someone was queer, they're gay. Or if you got punched in the head, then you're on Queer Street. It was like everything was confusing. Queer was confusing.

Theo Von 11:13 Okay.

Joe Rogan 11:14 And then queer became gay somewhere along the line. But now I think queer is whatever you want it to be.

Theo Von 11:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:22 You could be gay, bi, straight.

Theo Von 11:25 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 11:25 And then you can be pansexual. Which is-

Theo Von 11:29 What is that?

Joe Rogan 11:30 Exactly. That's what Wayne Brady is.

Theo Von 11:32 He's pansexual?

Joe Rogan 11:33 He came out.

Theo Von 11:35 Damn.

Joe Rogan 11:35 He came out as pansexual. I don't know what that means.

Theo Von 11:37 I can barely handle whatever I am, dude-

Joe Rogan 11:40 (laughs)

Theo Von 11:40 ... to be real honest, bro.

Joe Rogan 11:41 But it's also new.

Theo Von 11:42 Whatever I am, bro, it keeps jerking off at night-

Joe Rogan 11:45 (laughs)

Theo Von 11:45 ... and being afraid to talk to women, so. Whatever that one is (laughs) , that's what I am, bro.

Joe Rogan 11:51 You're theosexual.

Theo Von 11:53 Oh, it's fucking getting kinda heady, man.

Joe Rogan 11:55 Yeah, you're theosexual.

Theo Von 11:56 Um...

Joe Rogan 11:56 Why you afraid to talk to the women?

Theo Von 11:58 No, I don't know. You know, I get, I, I, uh, I, I think get afraid to, like... I just, I've always, I always got afraid to approach, approach women, you know?

Joe Rogan 12:06 Really?

Theo Von 12:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:07 ... but boy, you're a handsome fellow. You're funny. You're successful.

Theo Von 12:11 I don't know. I think something I just, uh-

Joe Rogan 12:14 Childhood shit?

Theo Von 12:15 Yeah, probably. There's something, like, you know, just re-

Joe Rogan 12:17 (laughs)

Theo Von 12:17 Yeah, like I just, I would just be so fucking nervous, buddy. You know?

Joe Rogan 12:22 Mm.

Theo Von 12:22 When I, oh, when I was a kid I would be so nervous.

Joe Rogan 12:24 Mm.

Theo Von 12:25 I would, yeah, I would be so nervous.

Joe Rogan 12:27 Which is interesting that you got into standup comedy, which makes people really fucking nervous.

Theo Von 12:31 Well, I think I was familiar with being nervous, so that didn't affect me.

Joe Rogan 12:35 Oh, interesting, 'cause you're nervous all the time. You're like, "Fuck it. I'll just go be nervous in front of all these people."

Theo Von 12:42 Oh, the audience is the... When you're on stage, the audience is just a woman.

Joe Rogan 12:46 Oh, like you're just trying to get them to like you.

Theo Von 12:49 You're just trying to get, yeah. You're like, "How do we get-"

Joe Rogan 12:52 (laughs)

Theo Von 12:52 "... this to work out?" You know?

Joe Rogan 12:54 How do I get you to like me more?

Theo Von 12:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:56 Who do I have to be? I was-

Theo Von 12:58 Man, the other night was crazy. Sorry, I cut you off, go ahead.

Joe Rogan 13:00 No, no, go ahead.

Theo Von 13:01 I got nothing, man. It's just-

Joe Rogan 13:02 No, the other night was crazy.

Theo Von 13:02 This week's been cra- it's just been a crazy week.

Joe Rogan 13:05 Yeah.

Theo Von 13:06 You know? It's been a crazy week, man.

Joe Rogan 13:09 It was interesting because the beginning of the night no one knew what was gonna happen. So you're watching the first results roll in and there's, like, this weird thing. And then Trump gets way ahead, but you're like, you don't wanna, like, get too hopeful. Like, how far ahead is he? He's ahead by 100 points. That seems like a lot.

Theo Von 13:25 Yeah, and you're like, what does it... And some channels are like... And then every channel's kinda different.

Joe Rogan 13:29 Yeah, they had different numbers. I was getting a different number off my Apple news update than I was getting off of CNN. And then I was texting people, like Tulsi and JD Vance. I was getting a different up-... Apparently Elon created an app and he knew who won four hours before the results. So as the results were coming in before-

Theo Von 13:52 Nah-ah.

Joe Rogan 13:52 Four hours before they called it, Dana White told me Elon was like, "I'm leaving. It's over. Donald won." (laughs) He just fucking-

Theo Von 13:58 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:59 He just fucking, some how or another-

Theo Von 14:01 I'm gonna go back into my pod and evaporate.

Joe Rogan 14:03 It's like the be- I don't know what he's getting, where he's pulling his data from, but he had, like, the most accurate data in terms of the rural states hadn't put their results in yet, but yet Trump was ahead in these states. It's, Kamala's never gonna win those states, so tabulated that and-

Theo Von 14:20 Wow.

Joe Rogan 14:20 ... like, put it all together. I don't, I don't know how he did it.

Theo Von 14:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:23 But Dana told... I don't even, I haven't even talked to Elon about this, so I don't know, like, the Dana translation. But Dana said he had an app, and he was, like, showing him. He's like, "It's over."

Theo Von 14:32 And- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:33 And he fucking left. Dude just left.

Theo Von 14:34 It's over. Jon Jones won.

Joe Rogan 14:36 (laughs)

Theo Von 14:36 (laughs) Just saying that.

Joe Rogan 14:37 He just fucking left.

Theo Von 14:39 Dude, yeah, I mean, the whole thing's crazy to me. I'm so happy for, uh... My biggest thing was I was so happy for Bobby Kennedy, man.

Joe Rogan 14:46 Yeah.

Theo Von 14:47 Because he's the only person that I super know, like, as a human, you know?

Joe Rogan 14:51 Uh-huh.

Theo Von 14:51 Um, he's been a buddy of mine for years, and I've just known that he's a... Like, I trust him, like you, uh, it's almost like you have f- you have people that you know and that are good people. It's like-

Joe Rogan 15:00 Yeah.

Theo Von 15:00 I have to trust my own instincts at some point and know I know him.

Joe Rogan 15:04 Right.

Theo Von 15:05 You know, he's a, he's a, somebody I would vouch for.

Joe Rogan 15:08 Right.

Theo Von 15:08 You know, he's a good guy and he's been helpful to me, like in, i- in moments, um, where I have had str- have, have struggled as a person, and just, uh, been inspirational to me. You know, it's like I know him.

Joe Rogan 15:20 Yeah.

Theo Von 15:20 You know, like a friend.

Joe Rogan 15:20 Right, right.

Theo Von 15:21 And so, so that's, I think, like, that was something I was, like, super excited about, just to see where everybody was like, "Screw this guy."

Joe Rogan 15:29 Yeah.

Theo Von 15:29 You know? And to see him have a arc where it's like, um... 'Cause all he ever cared about, um, to me, and I don't know, this is just my opinions, dude. Some people, everybody has their own opinions and I'm, I'm an idiot, but, but he had ju- he always cared about, like, um, the rivers and the environment, you know? And then he started to care about the environment inside of our bodies, right? So for me, that all makes sense, right?

Joe Rogan 15:54 Right.

Theo Von 15:54 And so, like-

Joe Rogan 15:55 Well, you know where it all happened from, right?

Theo Von 15:56 I was super, like, that was, I was super excited about.

Joe Rogan 15:58 Do you know how he made the transition to being worried about pharmaceutical drugs?

Theo Von 16:02 Mm-mm.

Joe Rogan 16:03 He would give these speeches and he, um, he litigated a bunch of lawsuits against corporations that were polluting rivers. They cleaned up the East River. Like, he was an environmental attorney. And, um, they were also talking about the effects of mer- mercury poisoning in the soil and water. And, um, these women kept coming to these things that he was doing and saying, "You need to investigate mercury in vaccines." And, you know, he thought, like, that is, like... Which most people think. You hear vaccine, like, the last thing I wanna be labeled is a vaccine skeptic. Jesus Christ. A vaccine denier? That's like... I mean, we talked about this yesterday, but it's like Holocaust denier is number one, but vaccine denier and election denier are, like, right under there.

Theo Von 16:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:46 And he started looking into it, particularly the MMR vaccines and, and the correlation between the uptick of all these autoimmune issues, autism spectrum disorders, all these different things that coincided directly with the increase in the vaccine schedule for kids. And so then he starts doing research on it, and the more he does research on it the more it gets uncovered that there's this gigantic machine that's protecting all of this because there's so much money that's being generated, and most of it has to do with during the Reagan administration, they, they gave them immunity to prosecution, so they couldn't... They were no longer liable for whatever side effects the vaccines ca- uh, caused.

Theo Von 17:27 Yeah, that's-

Joe Rogan 17:28 Yeah.

Theo Von 17:28 That's pretty wild.

Joe Rogan 17:29 Yeah, and then of course these motherfuckers started giving little kids, little babies that were just born Hep B vi- vaccines. Like, what are you doing? Like, that's a, uh, you get that from needles and sex.

Theo Von 17:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:41 This is a fucking baby.

Theo Von 17:41 Unless it's Pam Anderson's baby, dude. I wouldn't-

Joe Rogan 17:44 (laughs)

Theo Von 17:44 (laughs) I wouldn't put anything on that kid, you know? And no, if, I don't even know if she has any kids or not.

Joe Rogan 17:49 At least there's-

Theo Von 17:49 And I love Tommy Lee, so I shouldn't have, I don't know why I shouldn't said it.

Joe Rogan 17:51 Well, you fucked up. (laughs)

Theo Von 17:52 I already done did. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:53 It's a joke.

Theo Von 17:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:54 What are you gonna do? It's a fucking joke.

Theo Von 17:56 Yeah, sorry. Everything's okay.

Joe Rogan 17:57 I feel the same way about Bobby. Uh, I don't know him as well as I know Tulsi though. Tulsi is, uh-

Theo Von 18:02 Yeah, I don't know her.

Joe Rogan 18:03 Uh, Tulsi's a good friend of mine. I love her. She's great. She's awesome person. She's, like, a, a legitimate awesome person. You know, that lady, she served as a congresswoman for eight years, and the whole time she was like, she was against this divide of right versus left. She was always trying to be cool with everybody. She served overseas. She was deployed overseas in a mili- in a medical unit, man, so she was helping people that got blown up by the war.

Theo Von 18:27 Mm.

Joe Rogan 18:27 Twice. That's where she got that crazy white streak in her hair. That all ca-

Theo Von 18:31 Really?

Joe Rogan 18:31 Yeah. It all came from the stress of being overseas working in a medical unit. She-

Theo Von 18:35 Wow.

Joe Rogan 18:36 Yeah.

Theo Von 18:37 Yeah, it's... I guess, can stress be that compartmentalized inside of you, and it comes out like that, huh?

Joe Rogan 18:42 Oh, your body's ... Y- y- y- you can't imagine. You know, I was just talking to my friend Bruce about this last night. He was a cop in Austin. And we were talking about the amount of death that most police officers see, and the, the stress that has on you. And what he was telling me is, you take like a cop that has like 20 years on the job. They ... What they see is probably 10X what the average soldier who's deployed sees.

Theo Von 19:07 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 19:07 'Cause you're seeing murder all the time. You're seeing car accidents all the time, suicide-

Theo Von 19:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:13 ... all the time, domestic violence all the time.

Theo Von 19:16 All the time.

Joe Rogan 19:16 You're pulling people over. You never know if you're gonna get shot. He goes, "Most of these guys are fucked up because they just constantly seeing this stuff, constantly."

Theo Von 19:24 Oh, yeah. I'd be at home. I'd hear somebody open a jar of Pringles, and I'd fucking pull on them, you know? Yeah. You ... (lip smacking)

Joe Rogan 19:30 You hear that top pop?

Theo Von 19:31 (laughs) Yeah. What's going on?

Joe Rogan 19:32 What is happening?

Theo Von 19:33 Dude, we had a, um, police officer on a few years ago, or about a year ago. Uh ... Can you look this up, Jamie? Is that okay to ask Jamie to look something up?

Joe Rogan 19:42 Yeah, sure. Sure.

Theo Von 19:42 Okay. Um, it's a police officer.

Joe Rogan 19:47 How long ago?

Theo Von 19:48 Uh, yes. This guy. Retired police officer, um, Sergeant Brad White. This guy was super unique. He lived in Los Angeles. But he told this story. He, he, he was, um ... He didn't have any political thoughts. He just told stories of what it was like being a police officer. And, uh, he told this story of his first day on the job. They're chasing a guy. The guy runs into traffic, gets hit by a vehicle and killed, right?

Joe Rogan 20:18 (sighs)

Theo Von 20:18 So, h- even as just a human being, like-

Joe Rogan 20:21 Right.

Theo Von 20:21 ... you're, you're just doing a job. But then you're like trying to compartmentalize. Or, or how do I ... You know, what effect did I have on this? What am I r- ... You know, like ...

Joe Rogan 20:29 Right.

Theo Von 20:30 He told this story of a mother had called and said that her son was, um ... was thinking about committing suicide, right? The mother meets him in the yard. He shows up. He's, he's a police officer. It's in, um, outside of Los Angeles, I think in Whittier Police Department. I could be wrong. He shows up. The mom meets him outside. They see the son comes into the doorway, right? It's like a, a glass door with another door behind it kind of. Takes his own life, right?

Joe Rogan 21:01 Right, in front of everybody.

Theo Von 21:01 Kills himself right in front of them. So now he's standing there-

Joe Rogan 21:04 (sighs)

Theo Von 21:04 ... with the mom.

Joe Rogan 21:05 Oh my God.

Theo Von 21:06 Now he has to go ... He has to go. He has to console the mother, then go inside of the home. He walks inside. The door won't open 'cause the man's body is there, right? It's ... He's having trouble getting it open, even just that moment. He gets it open. Something falls off of the ceiling down the back of his shirt, and it's part of the guy ... his brain matter. He had shot himself on the ceiling.

Joe Rogan 21:32 (groans)

Theo Von 21:34 So I know that's graphic and stuff. Um, but ... And then for the next three or four hours he has to take care of this scene with this little feeling between his, um, bat wings or whatever that ... what does it say?

Joe Rogan 21:49 Bulletproof vest?

Theo Von 21:50 No, inside of your bod-

Joe Rogan 21:51 Shoulder blades.

Theo Von 21:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:53 It's brain matter.

Theo Von 21:54 Yeah. And it's just like, that's just a regular guy, you know. He might not even have finished college or something, you know. It's like ... So just the baffling amount of stuff that police go through. Anyway, I was trying to just like ... Those are stories that stuck with me when I, when I spoke with that guy. It was like unbelievable.

Joe Rogan 22:11 It's just conveniently ignored by most people who will never be police officers. (clears throat) And then that was one of the more offensive things about the George Floyd thing, all this defund the police shit, where people rose up and were saying "Defund the police," and "I mean defund the police." And Kamala Harris was one of them. She was out there tweeting "Defund the police." And because of that, crime just ramped up in certain communities. And so many people wanted the police back, but it didn't ... It's ... You know. It's a long process to try to ... A- and to this day, the ... most of these cops don't have good morale. They still have this, this feeling of defund the police was just a couple of years ago.

Theo Von 22:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:50 It's hard to get people to be cops now. They don't want that fucking job. And why would they? It's a fucking hard job.

Theo Von 22:56 Yeah. And they don't even ... I think the highlight ... Like they usually ... They used to play like softball in our area against like the fire department, and that was like the highlight of it, you know. It was like having like, um, competition, you know.

Joe Rogan 23:08 Mm-hmm.

Theo Von 23:08 But I don't even ... Like if you defund them, they're not even super funded. You don't ever see a cop with like a, um, boat.

Joe Rogan 23:16 (laughs)

Theo Von 23:17 Or s- you know what I'm saying? Like you don't-

Joe Rogan 23:19 A baller cop.

Theo Von 23:20 Yeah, you don't see a fucking ... Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:21 Right. If you think about how hard that job is, like hard jobs should pay more.

Theo Von 23:25 Right? Yeah, dude.

Joe Rogan 23:26 You know? Like what is the ... I think if you paid them too much though, then they just quit. Like, "I got enough. I'm out."

Theo Von 23:32 Yeah, I don't know if you can tell.

Joe Rogan 23:33 (laughs) Because like what's harder, being a rapper or being a cop? It's fucking way harder being a cop.

Theo Von 23:38 Oh yeah. I think ... Yeah, 'cause-

Joe Rogan 23:40 But rappers get paid way more.

Theo Von 23:41 That's true. Cops just ... I think a lot of cops will start making albums from their cars, you know. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:49 (laughs)

Theo Von 23:49 Bro, there really should be some ... There should be a great producer that goes on a ride along with a police officer, this is gonna happen, watch, and makes a dope track with a cop.

Joe Rogan 23:59 Right.

Theo Von 24:00 And the pr- ... And you could make a dope ... And you'd have so much great visuals.

Joe Rogan 24:03 Right.

Theo Von 24:03 And the proceeds go towards supporting the police department.

Joe Rogan 24:07 Yeah, like the cop could like be saying shit from behind the wheel.

Theo Von 24:10 (jabbering)

Joe Rogan 24:10 And you can sample that.

Theo Von 24:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:12 Sample that and turn them into songs. We got them. (laughs)

Theo Von 24:15 (laughs) In pursuit, in pursuit.

Joe Rogan 24:17 Different codes, different codes, 5150.

Theo Von 24:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:20 Isn't that when someone's crazy?

Theo Von 24:22 Oh yeah, that's crazy right there. That's 50... I think 44.

Joe Rogan 24:26 Look at this. Is this a cop rap? What is this? Grammy nominated rapper, Sacramento police officer records new bl- deployment recruitment video.

Theo Von 24:33 Pull him up, man.

Joe Rogan 24:34 Um, with- No.

Narrator 24:38 I looked. I just figured there could have already been one.

Theo Von 24:41 What's that, 5150?

Joe Rogan 24:42 What do you have to do to be a Grammy-nominated? Grammy-nominated doesn't impress me. Like Grammy-winning, that impress me. Grammy-nominated?

Theo Von 24:48 Dude, my Grammy nomina-

Joe Rogan 24:49 Who nominated you? (laughs)

Theo Von 24:50 Yeah. My Grammy will nominate anybody. She liked, uh-

Joe Rogan 24:53 (laughs)

Theo Von 24:53 ... Traveling Wilburys.

Joe Rogan 24:55 You didn't?

Theo Von 24:56 She, uh, I mean, I didn't. I mean if my grandfather-

Joe Rogan 24:58 (laughs)

Theo Von 24:58 ... showed up and said, "Hey, they're good," I respect that a little bit more. But that's just me, you know? Laney Wilson, I love. She's great. Red Clay Strays, Stephen Wilson-

Joe Rogan 25:07 They're great.

Theo Von 25:07 ... Junior.

Joe Rogan 25:08 Red Clay Strays are great.

Theo Von 25:09 They're good, huh?

Joe Rogan 25:09 Yeah. There's good music out now. It's a good time for music because, like, y- you could find things so easily, you know? It-

Theo Von 25:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:16 You don't have to wait for the radio. You just find stuff.

Theo Von 25:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:20 People send you stuff. Like in the green room, all the time, someone will play something. I go, "What is this?" And then I'll Shazam it, and like, "Oh, shit. It's nice." When that Shazam thing, that feature, is so huge.

Theo Von 25:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:31 You know on Google Pixel phones-

Theo Von 25:33 (clears throat)

Joe Rogan 25:33 ... there's an option to just have it on all the time? So anytime a song is playing, you can look down at your phone. It'll tell you what song is playing?

Theo Von 25:40 Uh-uh, I didn't know it.

Joe Rogan 25:41 Do they still do that? I think that's still a feature. I think it's only on the Google Pixel.

Theo Von 25:46 (sniffs) Um, what was I thinking about? I feel all over the place today, Joe.

Joe Rogan 25:51 Does-

Theo Von 25:51 You ever feel like that?

Joe Rogan 25:52 Oh, yeah. But I haven't been sleeping.

Theo Von 25:54 Like, you open your life.

Joe Rogan 25:55 I haven't been sleeping.

Theo Von 25:55 Yeah, I didn't sleep well.

Joe Rogan 25:56 Two days in a row, I didn't sleep. The, uh, night of the election, I could not sleep. I got home. I was wired, and I just-

Theo Von 26:03 Did you jerk off or nothing?

Joe Rogan 26:04 No, no, I just sat in front of the TV. I was watching professional pool, sitting in front of the TV. I called Dave Smith. Me and Dave Smith talked on the phone at, like, 3:30 in the morning.

Theo Von 26:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:13 And then I finally went to bed, and my wife woke up. She's like, "What happened? Who won?" And I was like, "Trump won in a landslide."

Theo Von 26:19 You're like the Spurs. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:20 And then she was, uh, like, you know, it was a landslide. Like, it was a crazy landslide. It was the red wave that everybody thought was gonna happen in 2022. Hey, J- Jamie, I'm hearing more and more about what we talked about yesterday, about the amount of people that voted for Biden in 2020 versus the amount of people that voted, uh, for anybody in 2016, and for anybody in 2024.

Theo Von 26:44 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 26:44 That they're still saying it was a giant jump.

Narrator 26:47 That's- that's what I see too.

Joe Rogan 26:49 A lot of people think it's bullshit.

Narrator 26:50 Could be.

Joe Rogan 26:50 (laughs) A lot of, there's a lot of people that are getting super suspicious about the 2020 numbers, because Biden got more votes than anybody by, like, 20 million. It's really crazy if you-

Narrator 27:02 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:02 ... look at the chart.

Theo Von 27:03 Well, did, uh, uh ... Yeah, did they say that the most people that they'd ever seen at voting stations were this year?

Joe Rogan 27:08 (clicks tongue) Yeah.

Theo Von 27:09 That's what I ... I don't know what the visual report is for this year. But then I get-

Joe Rogan 27:13 This is the most consequential election I think I've ever felt.

Theo Von 27:16 For sure.

Joe Rogan 27:17 For sure. The way people felt about it, too. The people on the left thought, they were convinced that Hitler was coming. They're convinced that some right-wing authoritarian's gonna come down and take away all your rights, and-

Theo Von 27:29 Well, that's a me- that's a l- that's the media does that.

Joe Rogan 27:32 100%.

Theo Von 27:33 But I-

Joe Rogan 27:33 100%, not what he was saying, not what he did for four years in office. It's all the media. And w- we're all victim of it a little bit, because you won't defend him or support him if you hear all these things about him, 'cause then you're, you gotta defend the fact that, "No, he didn't really do that. He's not really a felon. They were only misdemeanors." Texas voter turnout falls in 2020 for election, despite record registration numbers.

Theo Von 27:59 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 28:01 Uh, it, this is just Texas, right? 61% cast ballots, near 6% drop from the 2020, uh, presidential race. But the, the difference in, um, the numbers nationwide is what I'm interested in, because the nationwide numbers were pre- they're pretty consistent, like through the un- entire ... Like if you look at 2012-

Theo Von 28:23 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 28:23 ... it's consistent with 2016, which is also consistent with 2024. The anomaly is 2020.

Theo Von 28:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:29 Y- in 2020, everything goes way up, way up.

Theo Von 28:34 Maybe 'cause people were sitting home and so bored, and they said they didn't have much to do, you think?

Joe Rogan 28:38 Could be, could be, 'cause it was during COVID. Could be they, there were a lot of people who weren't working, so they did have the opportunity to vote.

Theo Von 28:46 Right.

Joe Rogan 28:46 Voting should be a national holiday.

Theo Von 28:48 I agree. I don't understand-

Joe Rogan 28:50 It's crazy that you give some people a complication, like imagine if you have a shithead boss. You're like, "I gotta vote." "Why did you vote early?"

Theo Von 28:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:57 'Cause I was working for you, you piece of shit.

Theo Von 28:58 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:59 Let me go. Let me go vote.

Theo Von 29:01 Yeah, uh, I mean, they give Christopher Columbus (laughs) as a holiday, dude.

Joe Rogan 29:04 Yeah, fuck that guy.

Theo Von 29:04 The Lieutenant Dan of the 1400s.

Joe Rogan 29:07 (laughs)

Theo Von 29:07 That dude gets a fucking holiday. (laughs) Okay?

Joe Rogan 29:09 (laughs) Yeah, why don't you go read what th-

Theo Von 29:11 But you don't get a day off.

Joe Rogan 29:11 ... what that guy did? Hey, let's get rid of Christopher Columbus. They should change it to Indigenous Peoples Day, like ... And the indigenous people are like, "Thanks, after you wiped out 90% of us."

Theo Von 29:19 Yeah. (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:19 "Thanks for giving us a day." How about we keep that day? That's fine. But how about we have an election, national election holiday? We could do with-

Theo Von 29:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:27 ... one more holiday.

Theo Von 29:28 Celebrate it. It's a great day.

Joe Rogan 29:29 Yes.

Theo Von 29:29 People can rejoice. And then I think-

Joe Rogan 29:31 Cookouts.

Theo Von 29:32 Yep. It would take a lot of stress off people, too. It's like today's also-

Joe Rogan 29:35 Yeah.

Theo Von 29:35 ... a day of celebration. It's not this day that I have to sneak away from work and be sneaky or whatever-

Joe Rogan 29:41 You should have a paid-

Theo Von 29:41 ... and eat in my car.

Joe Rogan 29:42 It should have, be a paid holiday.

Theo Von 29:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:44 You should expect to have to pay your employees on the day that election comes, 'cause everybody should be able to go vote.

Theo Von 29:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:50 That's what it should be. We should make this a n- we'll talk to Trump about it, make it a nationally-mandated hol- holiday.

Theo Von 29:56 I don't have his number. I don't know if even ... I mean, I- I ... uh, there's a guy in his department have his number.

Joe Rogan 30:01 (clicks tongue) We could hook it up. I know some people.

Theo Von 30:03 Um, yeah, dude, it was just what a cr- I mean, just like what a crazy week.

Joe Rogan 30:08 Yeah, very crazy. What ... Well, you were one of the first guys to have him on the podcast. Did you have any hesitancy having him on at all?

Theo Von 30:17 (inhales) Um ... My brother actually ... My brother's, my brother's a lot smarter than me, and he said, "Hey, man, uh, I just want you to think that there could be some reflection from people if you have him on," right? Like, you could, people, some people could be upset about it.

Joe Rogan 30:37 Right.

Theo Von 30:37 You know? And I thought about that a little bit, and I was like, "Well, I don't really..."Like, I, I, like, I don't know, you know, like, I have political thoughts and beliefs and stuff like that, and it's, like, it's hard to find a group that really embodies them. And if anything, right now for me, it seems like I don't even feel like these new parties are the same as the old parties.

Joe Rogan 30:57 They're not.

Theo Von 30:57 It doesn't seem, like, this isn't democrats and republics. This, there's something else transmorphing right now.

Joe Rogan 31:03 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Theo Von 31:04 And so, um, I thought, like, I thought, well I think I'm, I just wanna be able to have a chance to talk to this guy, you know? And the main thing for me was, like, um, like you talked about Dana White earlier, he's really, uh, you know, I know that you guys worked together and he, you know, I knew that Trump's brother suffered from addiction, right? I knew that. Right? I, I just, or I heard that or something and I looked into it and it's like, okay he lost his brother, his brother died of addiction. So I was like, well that's interesting to me. You know? And I wish that people, I wonder if there's more to Donald Trump. Like, is there more of a way to talk with him about something that means, you know, a lo- try to get an emotional well, like more of an emotional well to him that see- than it seems like that's in the public.

Joe Rogan 31:53 Well there was a thing that was going on for a while where you were platforming people. This was the idea, like if you had on a guy like Trump you were platforming this bad person. This was, this was this thing.

Theo Von 32:05 Yeah, I didn't think about that at all.

Joe Rogan 32:07 But it's a, it's, it's an authoritarian way to regulate conversations that let you know more about people and it's stupid because people don't want to have a nuanced perspective on anybody. Look, I'm sh-, this is one of the reasons I wanted to talk to Kamala Harris. I'm like, "I bet there's a person in there. I bet I can get to that person."

Theo Von 32:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:25 I wanted to find that person. I don't wanna hear all the speeches, I don't wanna hear, uh, "I was raised middle class." I don't wanna hear any of that shit.

Theo Von 32:31 She's a roller skater, you know that?

Joe Rogan 32:32 No, I would love to find that out.

Theo Von 32:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:34 I would love to talk to her about all kinds of shit. Um, I would, I literally said, like 'cause there was a few restrictions of things they didn't want to talk about, but I said, "I don't give a fuck. Like, we'll get her in here." Like, "Whatever you wanna talk about." And they wanna know if I edit, and like there's not gonna be any editing. There's no editing.

Theo Von 32:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:49 We're not gonna edit. Uh, but...

Theo Von 32:52 Yeah, that's the same thing they asked us.

Joe Rogan 32:54 I just-

Theo Von 32:54 Is there an edit, you know?

Joe Rogan 32:55 Yeah. I just wanted to talk. I just, like, I feel like you give someone a couple of hours and you start talking about anything, I'ma see the pattern of the way you think. I'm gonna see the way you process ideas. I'm gonna see whether or not you're calculated or whether you're just free.

Theo Von 33:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:13 Or are you comfortable with you or do you, are you projecting things? Like, she's got 80 different accents, how do you decide which one to pull out?

Theo Von 33:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:22 Like she's got like... (laughs)

Theo Von 33:23 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:24 She busts out different accents depending on who she's talking to.

Theo Von 33:26 Yeah. I mean, I'll do that. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:27 They should've made her talk to a bunch of Chinese folks, I would've loved to hear that accent.

Theo Von 33:31 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:31 I wanna see what, you know...

Theo Von 33:32 I'd do that too, though.

Joe Rogan 33:33 (laughs)

Theo Von 33:33 I like to meet people where they're at.

Joe Rogan 33:34 Sure.

Theo Von 33:35 You know? Oh, if I see somebody that's, you know, I'll be like, "What's happening my friend?" You know?

Joe Rogan 33:40 Yeah. (laughs)

Theo Von 33:40 It's like, I like to meet people where they are, you know?

Joe Rogan 33:42 Yeah, she did one with the Latinos where she talked with a Latino accent. I'm like, this is wild. But she's a chameleon.

Theo Von 33:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:48 But if you wanna be a successful politician that's probably a good trait.

Theo Von 33:51 I agree.

Joe Rogan 33:52 You know? It's like a comedian that's always on, uh, they kind of get annoying but if you wanna be a comedian that's probably a good trait. You wanna be a politician? You should probably be able to melt into your environment and sort of meld yourself with whatever these people want you to be.

Theo Von 34:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:07 You know?

Theo Von 34:08 Yeah. I mean, I-

Joe Rogan 34:09 But maybe not. Maybe it's just like the, uh, I always feel like the environment of debates, the environment of interviews on television, the environment of anything you're doing in front of an audience, it's so fake, it's such a weird way to talk that you don't get a sense of who the person is. So, like, when I got to see Trump on your, your podcast and you were, uh, talking about doing cocaine and it makes you like an owl. (laughs)

Theo Von 34:33 Oh, God.

Joe Rogan 34:34 It was hilarious. It was hilarious.

Theo Von 34:36 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 34:36 But it was like you got a s- chance to see that guy as a person, trying to figure out, like, "Who is this psycho I'm sitting here talking to?"

Theo Von 34:45 Ugh. I remember that shit up. Fucking make a nest in my living room, dude.

Joe Rogan 34:48 (laughs)

Theo Von 34:48 That shit, boy. You'll fucking... I'll scoot over to the neighbors and steal some twine in my beak, homie.

Joe Rogan 34:55 (laughs)

Theo Von 34:55 I fucking... Ugh. There's nothing worse than being locked out of your place on cocaine, man. That's... Ugh.

Joe Rogan 34:59 I can only imagine.

Theo Von 35:00 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 35:00 But you, you talking to him, like, as a person is, like, almost more valuable than any other kind of speeches he does. Because when he's in front of everybody talking about, "We're gonna make America amazing," those are great speeches but you don't... Like, she had an amazing speech. When I was like, she could win, was when she had that one speech about Donald Trump, like, scared to debate her but he says all these things. But you know what, what I always heard? "If you wanna say something, say it to my face," and the whole place went crazy and she was laughing the entire...

Theo Von 35:32 I didn't see that.

Joe Rogan 35:33 Oh, it was so good. It was her best speech for sure. And it was right when they decided that she was going to run for president.

Theo Von 35:40 Maybe that is what, is what got people involved.

Joe Rogan 35:42 So is Biden, Biden stepped down and she had one banger of a speech. She looked young and energetic and, like, it really made you feel like this is going to be a ch-

Theo Von 35:53 Oh, she's cute. She's kind of cute.

Joe Rogan 35:53 She was hot. She was younger.

Theo Von 35:54 Yeah. She's got that...

Joe Rogan 35:54 She was younger. She was a smoke show.

Theo Von 35:56 She's still all right. She got that thang on her, I bet.

Joe Rogan 35:58 So the... (laughs)

Theo Von 36:02 (laughs) You know what I'm saying?

Joe Rogan 36:02 I do know what you're saying, that's why it's so crazy.

Theo Von 36:04 Yeah, 'cause a lot of brothers love her too.

Joe Rogan 36:06 Everybody seems to love her.

Theo Von 36:07 Look, if the brother's like it, she got that thang on her. That's all I'm saying, you know? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 36:11 I understand.

Theo Von 36:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:11 I understand what you're saying. Um, but like that one speech was almost enough for her to win. And if she just didn't talk other than speeches, but they would've done, they needed to do a better job with the speeches because every speech was the same. And the problem with that is, uh, we were talking about this, like the internet, you get to see that speech over and over again online, like, and then people make compilations of the speech and it looks...

Theo Von 36:32 Right, and then the same thing.

Joe Rogan 36:33 But it's like if someone goes to see your act.You know, they don't understand, like, acts, like, to develop a bit, it takes months and months and months to really, like, put it together where it's, like, rock solid.

Theo Von 36:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:43 And you're gonna do it the same way or slightly different every night. And if someone comes to see you and goes, "Theo's so full of shit, man. He told us the other day that it was just the other day."

Theo Von 36:53 (laughs) Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:54 (laughs) But he, but meanwhile, he said it three weeks later. It wasn't just the other day. It was three fucking weeks ago, dude.

Theo Von 37:00 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:00 You're just, you're repeating the same shit.

Theo Von 37:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:03 So that's how they feel about-

Theo Von 37:03 Yeah. You got too many leap years, white boy. Yeah. Shit like that.

Joe Rogan 37:06 Yeah. Exactly. So that's how they feel about, like, a presidential candidate that's telling the same speech over and over. Well, hey, you're not supposed to go see all those speeches.

Theo Von 37:14 But, yeah. (laughs) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:15 You know?

Theo Von 37:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:16 But the thing is about Trump-

Theo Von 37:17 Yeah. You're not following the Grateful Dead here. You know? It's like-

Joe Rogan 37:20 Trump rambles.

Theo Von 37:20 But Trump has a lot, though. Trump has a lot that are repetitive.

Joe Rogan 37:23 He does, but not in the same order. It's like going to see a Grateful Dead show.

Theo Von 37:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:27 It's like fucking, it's all over the place.

Theo Von 37:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:29 You know, he's, when Trump gets out there, he just does tugging.

Theo Von 37:33 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:34 Did you see he accepted, he had this long-winded speech about the rocket.

Theo Von 37:39 That was insane, dude.

Joe Rogan 37:40 About Elon caught the rocket.

Theo Von 37:40 I'm like, you just won the presidency.

Joe Rogan 37:42 Edit.

Theo Von 37:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:42 Edit that down. You can edit that down.

Theo Von 37:44 Cut it down, dude. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:45 That can be two minutes.

Theo Von 37:46 Beautiful arms.

Joe Rogan 37:47 I was, I was worried about that in the very beginning of the podcast before we got cooking, when he was talking about Lincoln's bedroom. I was like, "Oh, boy." Like, wh- where is this going? Like, this-

Theo Von 37:56 I went, I've been in Lincoln's bedroom.

Joe Rogan 37:58 How was it?

Theo Von 37:59 Uh, it was okay. I think you can bring it up, actually. It's in Springfield, Illinois.

Joe Rogan 38:03 You can, they give you, oh, it is? No. He was talking about the one that's in the White House.

Theo Von 38:07 Oh, no. I've been to just his child, um, before he got elected.

Joe Rogan 38:10 Oh, you can go to his childhood home? Oh, wow.

Theo Von 38:12 It's really interesting. He used to keep his notes in his hat.

Joe Rogan 38:15 Oh, that was a good move.

Theo Von 38:16 Pretty cool.

Joe Rogan 38:16 They had big ass hats back then.

Theo Von 38:17 That head wallet, baby. He had that Bic toner.

Joe Rogan 38:19 That's a good move. That's a good move.

Theo Von 38:20 Yeah. Especially-

Joe Rogan 38:20 It's like credit cards behind your phone.

Theo Von 38:22 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 38:22 That kinda thing.

Theo Von 38:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:23 Except if you lose your phone, you lose everything.

Theo Von 38:25 But you ain't losing that big ass hat, though.

Joe Rogan 38:27 (laughs)

Theo Von 38:27 That hat was fucking long, dude.

Joe Rogan 38:30 (laughs) That shit was long, dude. Isn't it crazy, man? You ever see, like, how many dudes wore, like, fancy hats back in the day? That shit just went away.

Theo Von 38:37 It did.

Joe Rogan 38:38 Imagine if you were a kid and you're growing up in a hat family. You're like, "Our family makes hats, bro. I'm balling forever."

Theo Von 38:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:44 "I'm gonna take over this business." And then no hats. If you watch, there's a great, uh, outside boxing match in Reno, Nevada.

Theo Von 38:54 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 38:55 Between Jack Johnson and I think it's Jim Jeffries. And I think this is-

Theo Von 39:01 Jim Jefferies?

Joe Rogan 39:02 Yes. Not that guy. Another one.

Theo Von 39:06 Not the, it's not the, uh-

Joe Rogan 39:06 Not the comedian.

Theo Von 39:08 I'm not talking about the murderer.

Joe Rogan 39:09 No. Maybe. I don't think so. I think it's just a boxer.

Theo Von 39:13 Who was it?

Joe Rogan 39:14 James Jeffries. So see if J- Jack Johnson versus... This is it, so-

Theo Von 39:18 Who was, who killed the people with that Kool-Aid or whatever?

Joe Rogan 39:20 Here's the thing, like, when you, there's a video of all these folks that are walking, like, to the event and every man has a fucking hat on, dude.

Theo Von 39:28 Wow.

Joe Rogan 39:29 They all, look, they all have hats.

Theo Von 39:31 Wow.

Joe Rogan 39:31 Look, they all have fancy hats. Look at all these guys. They're taking off their hats, waving their hats. Men left the house with a fucking hat on.

Theo Von 39:38 Wow.

Joe Rogan 39:38 Look at this.

Theo Von 39:39 Wow.

Joe Rogan 39:39 Dude, they all have these fancy hats.

Theo Von 39:42 What happened?

Joe Rogan 39:43 They're all dressed up nice with fancy hats. First of all, good luck seeing anything outside the Republican National Convention with that many people in the streets dressed up in suits.

Theo Von 39:51 Yeah. (laughs) That's true.

Joe Rogan 39:52 (laughs) Like, that's it. That's the only time you're ever gonna see them. These are like regular men walking on the streets. Everybody had fancy hats on and a nice button-up shirt and a suit jacket. That's, uh, Jim Jeffries right there.

Theo Von 40:04 Oh, those guys are good, dude.

Joe Rogan 40:06 That's-

Theo Von 40:06 James J. Braddock.

Joe Rogan 40:07 That's J- that's John L. Sullivan.

Theo Von 40:09 No way.

Joe Rogan 40:09 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Theo Von 40:10 The guy from the, um, that's the guy from Monopoly too right there.

Joe Rogan 40:14 He was a, he was a bare-knuckle boxer back in the dizzay. So, uh, and he was still famous back then.

Theo Von 40:20 Wow. Look at them putting it all together.

Joe Rogan 40:21 Yeah.

Theo Von 40:21 That's so cool.

Joe Rogan 40:22 Isn't that cool? So they built this outdoor stadium to watch Jack Johnson beat the fuck out of Jim Jeffries.

Theo Von 40:28 Oh.

Joe Rogan 40:28 That's how it goes. Jim Jeffries was trying to make a comeback. He was a little bit older. Back then, bro, boxing would go until someone died.

Theo Von 40:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:36 They would have, I mean, what's the most rounds they had back then? They were crazy. It was, like, 80 rounds or something. Like, what's the longest old school boxing match ever, Jamie?

Theo Von 40:47 What's it-

Joe Rogan 40:47 I think they had some insane amount of rounds.

Theo Von 40:52 That's a good question.

Joe Rogan 40:52 Look at this. The greatest number of rounds was 276.

Theo Von 40:58 Wow.

Joe Rogan 40:59 In a f- four hour and 30 minute fight when Jack Jones beat Patsy Tunney in Cheshire in 1825. Holy fuck, dude. In, uh, introduced in 1867, each round of a fight would last until someone was knocked down.

Theo Von 41:15 (laughs) Oh my god.

Joe Rogan 41:18 (laughs)

Theo Von 41:18 Wow. That's something.

Joe Rogan 41:20 Bro, bro, 276 rounds is so crazy.

Theo Von 41:25 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 41:25 That's when you get all your CTE in an IV bag.

Theo Von 41:29 (laughs) Yeah. You just get... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:31 Yeah.

Theo Von 41:31 You'd have to-

Joe Rogan 41:31 You'd have to swallow vitamins.

Theo Von 41:32 That's the Brendan Schaub gauntlet right there, dude.

Joe Rogan 41:34 You just get your, uh, your CTE just hot pumped into your fucking brain.

Theo Von 41:38 Yeah.

Narrator 41:38 Modern boxing would be 110, I guess.

Theo Von 41:41 I'm just joking, Brendan.

Joe Rogan 41:41 Oh my god.

Theo Von 41:43 At New Orleans, that's where it was.

Joe Rogan 41:45 In 18... It's, well, he lived to 94? He lived to 1867 to 1920. Oh, these are the, when they die, oh, because in 1893, it lasted 110 rounds.

Theo Von 41:54 Wow.

Joe Rogan 41:55 Oh my god. Seven hours and 19 minutes. It was declared a no contest, later changed to a draw.

Theo Von 42:02 Dude, most people couldn't go that long without even looking at their phone, dude.

Joe Rogan 42:07 (laughs) Yeah, seven hours.

Theo Von 42:09 Much less, much less having to fend off a guy.

Joe Rogan 42:11 How about having to take a shit?

Theo Von 42:12 Oh.

Joe Rogan 42:12 You're in the middle of a 200 round fight, you have to take a shit.

Theo Von 42:15 They should have a diaper round where you have to fight and shit at the same time.

Joe Rogan 42:18 (laughs) I would bet it would affect your punching power if you're just waddling around in shit.

Theo Von 42:22 Of course.

Joe Rogan 42:23 You know, in shit.

Theo Von 42:23 Dude, I don't think there's a way you can shit and punch at the same time. Can they?

Joe Rogan 42:26 It would be very hard. Very hard.

Theo Von 42:27 Look that up.

Joe Rogan 42:29 Very hard.

Theo Von 42:30 I'm m- 'cause yeah, think about it.

Joe Rogan 42:32 Yeah. Uh, no.

Theo Von 42:34 Uh, (laughs) it'd be so soft.

Joe Rogan 42:35 You need to tighten all that up if you're gonna throw a good punch.

Theo Von 42:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:37 Like your ass cheeks, tighten. 'Cause you kinda use your legs as you thrust forward. You really can't shit and punch, not effectively. You're gonna lose that round.

Theo Von 42:46 Fucking yeah, we cracked the code, bro. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 42:48 Yeah, we cracked the code. You're gonna lose that round.

Theo Von 42:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:50 So I guess they probably just pissed themselves. I know guys who have shit themselves in the UFC.... multiple guys. Yeah, uh-

Theo Von 42:56 Oh. Oh, that breaks my heart.

Joe Rogan 42:56 I believe Tim Sylvia shit himself in a fight once. Um, who else? Someone came out there. Michael Chiesa looked over at me once while I was doing commentary, and, uh, I think he got called. I, I mean, it was perhaps one of those situations where the fight before ended quicker so he didn't get as much warmup time as he wanted.

Theo Von 43:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:16 And then all of a sudden he's running out there and he looked at me and he goes, "Dude, I'm about to shit my pants." I go, "Really?" He goes, "Yeah, I'm about to shit my pants." And he won. He went out there and won, first round submission.

Theo Von 43:26 'Cause he had to.

Joe Rogan 43:27 He, 'cause he had to, man.

Theo Von 43:28 Yeah. Dude, there's noth-

Joe Rogan 43:29 So, th- is this the fight? No, wait. Oh, is this another guy who shit his pants? Oh, five fighters- It's like top in the fifth. ... who pooped their shorts. Yeah, it happens, dude. This guy f- shit himself a little bit.

Theo Von 43:37 Dude, I would shit myself if I've hav- if I had to go in there.

Joe Rogan 43:40 Yeah. Yeah.

Theo Von 43:40 So that's crazy. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:41 Tim Sylvia definitely shit himself. Randall had shit himself?

Theo Von 43:43 I'd be like, ah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:44 It happens, man. Look, you're- you're getting your-

Theo Von 43:46 Oh, I'm not de- yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:47 ... liver pounded on, you're getting kneed in the gut. I don't even have the one happening.

Narrator 43:50 Yeah, true.

Theo Von 43:50 Oh, I got c- in a car accident once and it happened.

Joe Rogan 43:53 You shit yourself?

Theo Von 43:54 Mm-hmm. I didn't want to, it just, I, uh, I didn't have a choice. It just happened. It d- it wanted to.

Joe Rogan 43:58 She shit her pants too. Yeah. Justine Kitsch-

Theo Von 44:00 No.

Joe Rogan 44:00 ... congratulations. It's all over the- I bet dudes would pay a lot of money-

Theo Von 44:03 Call time ou-

Joe Rogan 44:04 ... for that, that, on Only Fans.

Theo Von 44:06 Oh.

Joe Rogan 44:06 You g- you sell them shitty drawers. (laughs)

Theo Von 44:08 And that's Mark Goddard right there. Call timeout, brother.

Joe Rogan 44:10 He just stepped in it. No. Oh, that's pee.

Theo Von 44:12 Oh, is that what it is? That's the poop?

Joe Rogan 44:13 Yeah, yeah.

Theo Von 44:13 Oh, no! Imagine if you were, like, face down.

Joe Rogan 44:16 Yup.

Theo Von 44:16 If someone's p- putting you in a rear naked choke and they didn't clean the mats that good, and the person before shit all over the place.

Joe Rogan 44:22 Ugh.

Theo Von 44:22 And you get pink eye while you're getting your ass kicked.

Joe Rogan 44:24 Oh. (laughs)

Theo Von 44:25 (laughs) God, that makes me scared.

Joe Rogan 44:29 Yeah, that's a scary job. That's the scariest job. You think, uh-

Theo Von 44:32 Yeah, I went to that fight with you. Or no, I went to that fight... Remember when me and Joey Diaz went?

Joe Rogan 44:37 Which one?

Theo Von 44:37 In New York. Oh, it was... Oh, I was thinking of your fighters. Well, I went and saw the James J. Braddock statue before.

Joe Rogan 44:44 Oh, really?

Theo Von 44:44 It was in New Jersey. Before Dustin and, um, that last fight that he had.

Joe Rogan 44:50 Hmm.

Theo Von 44:51 No, the befo- the one before the last fight.

Joe Rogan 44:53 What, Justin Gaethje? That was in-

Theo Von 44:55 No, after that.

Joe Rogan 44:57 Um-

Theo Von 44:57 It was in New Jersey. Okay.

Joe Rogan 44:59 The pride of Pr-

Theo Von 45:00 That was... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Benoit Saint-Denis, yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:03 Yeah.

Theo Von 45:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:04 No, no, no.

Theo Von 45:04 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:05 Was it?

Theo Von 45:05 Yeah, he beat up Benoit Saint-Denis and knocked him out.

Joe Rogan 45:08 Uh, Islam Makhachev.

Theo Von 45:10 That was after that.

Joe Rogan 45:10 He lost to Islam. That was in Jersey.

Theo Von 45:12 But... All right.

Joe Rogan 45:12 Oh, which one was in Jersey? Islam? That one was in Jersey.

Theo Von 45:14 He didn't beat, he didn't beat eml- Islam in Jersey.

Joe Rogan 45:16 Right.

Theo Von 45:17 Right.

Joe Rogan 45:17 Right, right, right. So, he fought Benoit Saint-Denis, then he gets a title shot against-

Theo Von 45:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:21 ... Islam. Islam's-

Theo Von 45:22 Yeah, we went, I went with Joey. We went and saw... And I went to the, um, James J. Braddock statue before.

Joe Rogan 45:26 Mm.

Theo Von 45:27 It was awesome, dude.

Joe Rogan 45:28 Islam's a monster. He's so good.

Theo Von 45:30 Yeah, it was crazy. And Joey was like, "What do I..." Dude, he was on... (laughs) so...

Joe Rogan 45:36 (laughs)

Theo Von 45:37 This is all love, dude. He's, he's a fucking tremendous... He's one of a kind. And his book is great too, if you haven't read his book. But, um, he's sitting there. He'd been eat- (laughs) he'd been eating mushrooms, you know.

Joe Rogan 45:49 (laughs)

Theo Von 45:50 And once he even started eating a little, you could see Aaron Rodgers start to look over, you know. He was getting curious.

Joe Rogan 45:54 That's hilarious.

Theo Von 45:55 You know, he's like, "What is happening?" You know?

Joe Rogan 45:56 That's hilarious.

Theo Von 45:57 But by the sixth quarter or whatever, I don't know how many... Uh, how the fights go, but it's like, by the sixth quarter he's just rubbing on his thighs, right?

Joe Rogan 46:03 (laughs)

Theo Von 46:04 He's talking. He goes, "Who's winning, dog?"

Joe Rogan 46:07 (laughs)

Theo Von 46:07 That's what he kept saying too. He is very... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:10 Oh, I can't wait to see him again.

Theo Von 46:12 Wait, Joey used to shovel snow for James J. Braddock.

Joe Rogan 46:15 Did he really?

Theo Von 46:16 Yup.

Joe Rogan 46:16 Wow. That's crazy.

Theo Von 46:19 It's one of my favorite things that I ever learned about him.

Joe Rogan 46:21 That's crazy.

Theo Von 46:21 Can you imagine that?

Joe Rogan 46:23 That is crazy.

Theo Von 46:26 Um, what else is going on?

Joe Rogan 46:31 (laughs)

Theo Von 46:32 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:33 I'm gonna see him in a couple weeks. He's coming out here. Joey is gonna start staying out here for-

Theo Von 46:38 Uh-uh.

Joe Rogan 46:39 ... months at a time. You know, he wants to get a place downtown near the club.

Theo Von 46:42 Me too. I'm gonna come back and look in about a week and a half.

Joe Rogan 46:44 Every time he comes, like, "I gotta come out here, dog."

Theo Von 46:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:46 I'm like, "Come on."

Theo Von 46:47 You're gonna be at my house. Come on, dog.

Joe Rogan 46:47 "I'll make it easy for you." I'm like, "We'll make it easy for you."

Theo Von 46:49 Man.

Joe Rogan 46:50 "You tell me when you wanna come, you're coming. We'll fly you out, put you up, whatever you want. I'll get you a real estate lady. Let's get the party started." And I'm trying to bring back the church of What's Happening Now!, 'cause him and Lee Siat, they were together when they were at the club together. And I'm like, "Come on, let's get the band back together. You guys together were fucking amazing."

Theo Von 47:07 It was nothing like... That show kept people alive.

Joe Rogan 47:10 That show, Joey Diaz's show was one of the most ridiculous, silly, preposterous-

Theo Von 47:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:15 ... shows. It was so ridiculous. And then he went to New Jersey and here's the problem with N- Joey in New Jersey. Um, he loves New Jersey, he loves New Jersey people, he needs comedians. And you, you, you forget that until you're not with them and then you're like, "Oh, this ain't no fun."

Theo Von 47:32 He was talking to plumbers or whoever's got a decent attitude or whatever, you know? A decent sense of humor.

Joe Rogan 47:36 That's nice. I like talking to all kinds of people.

Theo Von 47:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:39 Obviously. But I need comedians in my life like I need vitamins. Like, I need a certain amount of sunlight to get some vitamin D.

Theo Von 47:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:46 I need, I need comedians. It's too... Like, that night that we had in that green room, watching the elections, how many jokes were cracked, how many fucking times did we rag on Tony.

Theo Von 47:55 Oh, dude.

Joe Rogan 47:56 (laughs) We talked Tony off the ledge.

Theo Von 47:58 We did it.

Joe Rogan 47:59 (laughs)

Theo Von 47:59 Tony's the strongest s-

Joe Rogan 48:00 Tony's, like, got statistics. 26% more Puerto Ricans voted for Trump. (laughs)

Theo Von 48:06 Bro, he had the Puerto Rican app open on-

Joe Rogan 48:09 (laughs)

Theo Von 48:09 ... open on his whoop brace and I'm like, "They have that? What is that?" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:13 Bro, the whole thing-

Theo Von 48:14 He was like, "How many plantains have sold tonight?" He was fucking losing his mind. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:18 They were trying to label him as a speaker. (laughs) They said he was a speaker.

Theo Von 48:22 "A speaker? That was at the Trump rally? He said that Puerto Rico was a pile of garbage."

Joe Rogan 48:29 (laughs)

Theo Von 48:29 "These are human beings."

Joe Rogan 48:32 (laughs)

Theo Von 48:32 Was that Adam Wright who was that? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:33 No, no, no. That's Obama.

Theo Von 48:34 Oh, it is? Oh, oh, I thought- "A speaker?"

Joe Rogan 48:36 Yeah.

Theo Von 48:36 "That was at the Trump rally?"

Joe Rogan 48:37 (laughs)

Theo Von 48:38 "He was talking about Puerto Rico as a pile of garbage."

Joe Rogan 48:43 Dude, the simple fact that Obama's talking about Tony Hinchcliffe-

Theo Von 48:46 Tony Hinchcliffe.

Joe Rogan 48:46 ... is crazy.

Theo Von 48:47 Bro, o- o- Obama's doing a Tony Hinchcliffe bit. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:53 (laughs) There's a video of us at the Mothership.

Theo Von 48:55 What is going on? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:56 We, we played it yesterday, but I wanna play it again, Jamie. Play the video, uh, it's on my Instagram, of Tony is on stage in the main room. By the way, when Tony goes on stage, it's like Richard Pryor just showed up.

Theo Von 49:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:08 "Yeah!"... they were going-

Theo Von 49:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:10 ... nuts. He murdered. He has 35 minutes on him.

Theo Von 49:12 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:12 He's on stage- ... about the Puerto Rican joke. And, you know-

Theo Von 49:16 (laughs)

Narrator 49:17 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:18 No way. At the same time?

Theo Von 49:21 Yeah, at the same time. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:22 Wow. Look at this. I mean, it's amazing. It's like, uh-

Narrator 49:25 That was impossible. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:26 ... 10 years ago. They were going against Hillary Clinton. This is a simulation for sure. We're definitely in a simulation.

Theo Von 49:32 Oh, my God.

Joe Rogan 49:32 So this guy was on Fox talking about Tony on one TV while Tony was on stage on the TV monitor.

Theo Von 49:40 That's unbelievable.

Joe Rogan 49:43 (laughs)

Theo Von 49:43 We did it.

Joe Rogan 49:45 He was so nervous 'cause here's what was gonna happen. If he lost, you know, so the way these news organizations work, they have outlines-

Theo Von 49:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:55 ... for stories if Kamala wins.

Theo Von 49:57 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 49:57 They have outs- outlines for stories if Trump wins. If, if Trump lost, they were gonna blame it on Tony.

Theo Von 50:04 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 50:04 They had stories where they're gonna-

Theo Von 50:05 Nuh-uh.

Joe Rogan 50:05 ... blame it on that joke, and they were gonna say that that joke turned the tides and made people realize that Trump organization's-

Theo Von 50:11 Oh.

Joe Rogan 50:11 ... filled with Nazis and racists. And, and they were gonna blame Tony. And Tony would've been fucked, 'cause then the Trump supporters would've thought that too.

Theo Von 50:19 Right. So it was like both sides would've disliked Tony.

Joe Rogan 50:21 Ab- absolutely, absolutely.

Theo Von 50:23 He would've had to go to Puerto Rico. Or-

Joe Rogan 50:25 No.

Theo Von 50:25 ... or Costa Rica.

Joe Rogan 50:26 Maybe. Mexico. Mexico's and Pue- Mexico and Puerto Ricans don't really-

Theo Von 50:31 No, they don't even, they don't-

Joe Rogan 50:32 They don't get along that well. It's infighting. There's always been a giant rivalry between Mexicans and Puerto Ricans. And a lot of like-

Theo Von 50:38 Really?

Joe Rogan 50:38 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, man. For sure.

Theo Von 50:40 I didn't know that.

Joe Rogan 50:41 Well, you know, there's no prouder group of boxers, I think, in the history of Earth than Mexican boxers. Like, they have a s-

Theo Von 50:49 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:50 Mexican boxers are known for a specific style. Like, if someone says, "You fight like a Mexican," dude, that's a huge compliment.

Theo Von 50:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:58 Mexicans, like Julio Cesar Chavez, you know, fucking Canelo Alvarez, Oscar De La Hoya. I mean, you can go down the line, you know, Morales. B- bu- b- m- fuck, man. There's so many. Manuel Marquez.

Theo Von 51:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:13 So many, man. So many.

Theo Von 51:15 Yeah, they got just so many punches in one punch.

Joe Rogan 51:17 Well, there just, is a, there's a culture of boxing there that goes back so far. And it's so, you know, and with boxing, it's always people that are poor that want a way out. And one of the best ways out, if you're a poor young man, if you can fight-

Theo Von 51:32 Punch your way out.

Joe Rogan 51:33 ... you can, you can make millions, like Canelo, like Julio Cesar Chavez, like ... So it's like the, the history of people rising through boxing. But there's a similar history in Puerto Rico. Puerto Rico has a history, a great history of boxing too.

Theo Von 51:47 Really?

Joe Rogan 51:47 But there was always a rivalry between Mexico and Puerto Rico.

Theo Von 51:49 Huh. I could see that because you're both Latino cultures-

Joe Rogan 51:52 Uh-huh.

Theo Von 51:52 ... and you wanna be the best, you know?

Joe Rogan 51:53 Uh-huh. Oh, yeah.

Theo Von 51:54 I'm trying to think if I've ever been to a boxing, um, match or not.

Joe Rogan 51:58 You should go see Jake Paul versus Mike Tyson. It might be the last boxing match ever.

Theo Von 52:02 I don't know if I wanna see it.

Joe Rogan 52:04 Do you wanna see it if Mike Tyson wins?

Theo Von 52:07 I remember watching Mike Tyson versus Roy Jones Jr.

Joe Rogan 52:10 Yeah.

Theo Von 52:10 And it was like two guys like in, beating each other up in baby diapers or whatever. It was like-

Joe Rogan 52:15 Baby diapers? (laughs)

Theo Von 52:16 Yeah. Bring it up. They were wearing like big diapers or whatever.

Joe Rogan 52:18 No, they were wearing cups. There's a protector that boxers wear that's different than the protector that MMA fighters wear.

Theo Von 52:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:25 So the protector that boxers wears is foam that covers like the front of your hips and things too.

Theo Von 52:31 Uh, maybe I'm not thinking about it. Maybe I'm thinking about something else then. But it just w-

Joe Rogan 52:35 This, this to me seems-

Theo Von 52:35 They kept hugging.

Joe Rogan 52:37 This is what I believe. I believe really, truly to my core that they made an agreement where Mike Tyson was only gonna hit him to the body full blast. It looked like every time he hit him to the head, he was kind of pulling back.

Theo Von 52:48 That's the thing. It just didn't seem like w- this didn't seem like a real fight.

Joe Rogan 52:51 Right. It seemed like a fight to the body though. Mike was hitting him to the body really hard. And I think he hurt Roy a bunch of times really hard to the body. But, you know, both of these men are 50. Roy, in his day, I maintain to this day, was the greatest boxer I've ever seen.

Theo Von 53:05 Wow.

Joe Rogan 53:06 Roy Jones, in his prime, was a freak. Like, I mean a freak, where he wouldn't even throw jabs. He would throw a lead h- left hook. He would favor that over a jab. But it was as fast as a jab. And people couldn't understand it-

Theo Von 53:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:21 ... 'cause you'd never been in a ring with someone that fast.

Theo Von 53:23 Huh.

Joe Rogan 53:23 Have you looked at Roy Jones' highlight reel of KOs? You ever watch like Roy Jones when he was in his prime?

Theo Von 53:28 Uh-uh.

Joe Rogan 53:29 There were executions, son. It was like Mike Tyson in his prime, but at a different thing. I- in fact, in a Nas song, Nas says the, the new Mike Tyson's Roy Jones.

Theo Von 53:38 Wow.

Joe Rogan 53:39 Roy Jones was just executing people. He was so much faster than anybody. His timing was so good. His power-

Theo Von 53:44 He was a sniper.

Joe Rogan 53:46 Oh my God. He was just so skillful.

Theo Von 53:48 Who would you rather knock you unconscious, you think, if you had to pick a good fighter?

Joe Rogan 53:52 Oh, I don't know. Maybe Roy would just put it out quick. Just pop you in the chin, and you'd be like, "Okay."

Theo Von 53:55 Roy or Conor though?

Joe Rogan 53:57 Both of them will knock you out quick.

Theo Von 53:59 You think?

Joe Rogan 53:59 Yeah. But the, and this is his one fight with Roy Jones, with Vinny Pazienza, was the only fight in Copybox history where the opponent didn't land a single punch.

Theo Von 54:08 Wow.

Joe Rogan 54:09 A single punch. This was like when Roy was trying to get the referee-

Theo Von 54:12 Oh.

Joe Rogan 54:12 ... to stop the fight. Before that, Roy would signal to the referee, "Stop the fight." And the r- the referee said no, and then Roy goes like this. He's like, looking at Vinny, "Sorry, I gotta do this."

Theo Von 54:21 I've never even seen that.

Joe Rogan 54:21 He just lights it up. Bro, he was so good in his prime. But like all fighters, they stay past their prime, and people really only remember them for-

Theo Von 54:31 Then.

Joe Rogan 54:31 ... when they lost.

Theo Von 54:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:33 You know, Roy, in his prime, was just something completely special. You, you-

Theo Von 54:37 He had a Allen Iverson vibe.

Joe Rogan 54:39 You went to watch him just to see how long guys would last.

Theo Von 54:42 Wow.

Joe Rogan 54:42 That's what you would, you would watch, to see what he would do to guys.

Theo Von 54:45 I did a fishing rodeo with him once.

Joe Rogan 54:47 Did you really?

Theo Von 54:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:48 Oh, he's a big fisherman. He, he dr- dropped his hands, put them behind his back, and knocked a guy out. Like lured the guy in and hit him with a, one straight right hand and dropped him. It was one of the, i- he would just like being toying with dudes.

Theo Von 55:00 That's crazy, dude.

Joe Rogan 55:01 Dude.

Theo Von 55:01 I can't even get a fucking medium jacket off of my body-

Joe Rogan 55:04 (laughs)

Theo Von 55:04 ... and this guy's doing this shit. (laughs) That's what blows my mind, dude.

Joe Rogan 55:09 Roy was so good. He was so good.

Theo Von 55:11 Oh.

Joe Rogan 55:12 And everybody that went in there-

Theo Von 55:13 He cooked that brother right there.

Joe Rogan 55:14 There's a thing that happens when a guy's gonna fight, like, the, you would see it with Anderson Silva in this fight.

Theo Von 55:18 Who's that Bill Cartwright? Who's he fighting?

Joe Rogan 55:19 (laughs) I don't know. Some dude is in real trouble. They should've stopped this fight already.

Theo Von 55:23 (laughs) Oh my God, bro.

Joe Rogan 55:23 Dude, that dude did not need to take those other two punches.

Theo Von 55:26 Oh.

Joe Rogan 55:29 Dude, he was so fast.

Theo Von 55:32 (sniffs) Yeah, dude, Tony was s- Tony was, he was sh-

Joe Rogan 55:35 He was terrified.

Theo Von 55:35 (laughs) Oh, my God.

Joe Rogan 55:36 He was terrified. Tony was terrified.

Theo Von 55:37 Remember, right when I walked in, I hadn't seen him in months, so I'm just fucking grilling him-

Joe Rogan 55:41 Bro.

Theo Von 55:41 ... I'm like, "There he is." I'm like, "Who's an island now?" That's what I said. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 55:45 (laughs)

Theo Von 55:46 (banging table) He's fucking sitting there.

Joe Rogan 55:50 "Who's an island now?" Did you really say that to him?

Theo Von 55:52 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:53 Oh.

Theo Von 55:53 And here's the best thing about Tony, though. He laughed. Like-

Joe Rogan 55:56 Yeah.

Theo Von 55:56 ... Tony is for the joke, right?

Joe Rogan 55:58 Oh, yeah.

Theo Von 55:59 Like, even if he's, like, going through it, he respects the joke, and like-

Joe Rogan 56:02 Always, always.

Theo Von 56:03 ... there's, there's many layers to that whole thing. It's like, you, Tony is who he is.

Joe Rogan 56:07 Yeah.

Theo Von 56:07 And you ha- you almost, you respect that to the core. Was it the best timing? Probably not, right?

Joe Rogan 56:13 No.

Theo Von 56:13 Was there a lot of supervision (laughs) over him, is what he said?

Joe Rogan 56:16 No.

Theo Von 56:16 Probably not.

Joe Rogan 56:17 But that just shows you-

Theo Von 56:18 But that's also-

Joe Rogan 56:18 ... how disorganized that meeting was.

Theo Von 56:20 It's disorganized, but it's also real. So it's like-

Joe Rogan 56:24 Uh-huh.

Theo Von 56:24 ... there's two ways to look at it. It's like, it's, yes, it's like nobody proofread it, but-

Joe Rogan 56:28 Let me clear something there, 'cause we did say that they had went over his material. They didn't. They did not go over his material. Um, they did. Someone suggested he take one joke out. So he took this one joke out, and he had, he's like, "Oh, what do I put in its place?" He decided to go with the Puerto Rico joke.

Theo Von 56:45 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:45 You fucking dumbass.

Theo Von 56:47 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:47 Told you, bro. (laughs)

Theo Von 56:49 We did it. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:51 Yeah, but he's just so silly.

Theo Von 56:53 But he's the g-

Joe Rogan 56:54 But he laughs at himself.

Theo Von 56:55 Oh, totally, but also-

Joe Rogan 56:57 Yeah.

Theo Von 56:58 ... he's ... It's weird, 'cause it's like, do you want things to be tailored, or you not want them to be tailored? You know?

Joe Rogan 57:04 Yeah.

Theo Von 57:05 It's like, you could have s- you could have a group that goes through every, every single joke and says no to everything.

Joe Rogan 57:10 Right.

Theo Von 57:10 And then you get nothing. You get, you d- y- you know what I'm saying, kind of? It's like, how many layers of, um, like, uh, when you drain spaghetti or whatever you're talking about?

Joe Rogan 57:20 Mm-hmm.

Theo Von 57:20 Like, how many layers of ...

Joe Rogan 57:22 Spaghetti.

Theo Von 57:23 Nah, shit.

Joe Rogan 57:26 (laughs)

Theo Von 57:28 I don't know, it's been a long year.

Joe Rogan 57:29 I, I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying. But I think when you get to a certain level of your career, you gotta say no to things that are outside of comedy.

Theo Von 57:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:37 If you're just coming up, and someone says, "You wanna go speak in front of the President?" Go out there. Make a mark, soldier. Give it your best.

Theo Von 57:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:43 But if you're Tony Hinchcliffe, and you just did the Tom Brady roast, Kill Tony is the number one comedy podcast in the world.

Theo Von 57:49 Unbelievable.

Joe Rogan 57:49 You know, you have millions and millions of downloads every week. Don't do that. (laughs) Just do comedy. You're really good. I, this is what I was trying to tell people. If you saw those same jokes on stage, he kills, fucking crushes. It's just the worst environment ever for it. Lights are bright, it's in the day.

Theo Von 58:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:07 No one knows the comedian. He goes up cold. No one goes on after him. There's like this big-ass pause after him. The whole thing was, like, organized terribly.

Theo Von 58:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:14 Terribly.

Theo Von 58:16 Oh, it's-

Joe Rogan 58:16 Just complete disorganization.

Theo Von 58:17 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:17 It was like, there was the Trump speech, which is the big thing, like, "What do we do with all the extra time?"

Theo Von 58:21 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:22 Like, let anybody talk. Who wants to talk? This guy owns a fucking sandwich shop. Let him come up there. You know, "Look, it's my friend, Giovanni."

Theo Von 58:29 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:29 Like, like, and d- they let anybody in there. They were letting people that were saying wild stuff too.

Theo Von 58:34 Oh, they were letting (laughs) anybody in there, dude.

Joe Rogan 58:35 And it didn't seem like they vetted a lot of the speeches. Some of the speeches were like, "What do you, what do you, wait, wait, wait, wait."

Theo Von 58:39 Yeah, they had 40 minutes of ASMR in there. They weren't fucking letting (laughs) people do anything.

Joe Rogan 58:43 Dude, whenever you get an organization, whether it's the Republicans or the Democrats, you gotta kinda like appease everybody. And you got psychos and moderate people. And they're all together under this one banner of this one ... Like, have you ever been on a f- sports team? There's always like one dude on the team that's a fucking psychopath, right?

Theo Von 59:00 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:00 And you're like, "Dude, don't cause any fights. Like, leave everybody alone. Let's go, come on."

Theo Von 59:04 We had a brother, he would slash everybody's tires, but then here's the thing, we were giving him a ride home. So it was like, whoa, now we're all fucked.

Joe Rogan 59:11 (laughs)

Theo Von 59:11 You know what I'm saying? But that's who he was. You had to respect him. He was a power forward, you know?

Joe Rogan 59:15 Yeah. Well, sometimes they're not making the best decisions.

Theo Von 59:19 People don't, man.

Joe Rogan 59:19 Get hit in the head a lot.

Theo Von 59:20 People don't, man. I, um-

Joe Rogan 59:21 Especially football players, bro. You get hit in the head a lot, you're gonna make some sketchy-ass decisions.

Theo Von 59:27 Nick Bosa got brave and s- shared his, uh, political thoughts the other night. You see that?

Joe Rogan 59:32 No, I didn't.

Theo Von 59:33 Which is crazy how, like, on, on mainstream stuff, if you share anything one way, it's okay, but you share something another way, it's not okay.

Joe Rogan 59:40 Right. Like, if you, nobody got angry at people. They made fun of people for supporting Kamala Harris. Like, we made fun of, uh, of Dave Bautista. Like, 'cause it looked just so silly, like this performative commercial where it's really important to vote for Kamala and-

Theo Von 59:55 Dave Bautista?

Joe Rogan 59:56 ... Tim Walz. You know, the wrestler.

Theo Von 59:57 Is that the Manu- is he Menuta? Oh, we're less pressed though.

Joe Rogan 59:59 The wrestler, the guy from, uh, Guardians of the Galaxy.

Theo Von 1:00:01 Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:00:02 You know who I'm talking about. Big Jack dude.

Theo Von 1:00:03 Dave Bautista?

Joe Rogan 1:00:04 He's trying to get movies, man. He's wearing pearls to, like, red carpet events. I know what you're doing.

Theo Von 1:00:08 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:00:09 You're trying to get those movies. You gotta, like, show-

Theo Von 1:00:11 Oh, for what, though?

Joe Rogan 1:00:12 You're an artist. You're sensitive. You're on the right side. Put him in the ... He wants to be a lead in a movie. He wants to be a movie star.

Theo Von 1:00:17 Then fucking turn on your camera at a house and make something.

Joe Rogan 1:00:20 Dude, I'm telling you, it's the right move. What he's doing is the right move. Even if he's faking it.

Theo Von 1:00:25 You mean, for Hollywood, you mean?

Joe Rogan 1:00:26 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wear the beads, wear the w- wear pearls. That softens you up a little bit. Lose some weight. Lost a bunch of weight. Um, talk shit about Trump.

Theo Von 1:00:34 'Cause-

Joe Rogan 1:00:35 He, he's allowed to be like a tough guy talking shit about Trump. Did you ever see that Jimmy Kimmel sketch they did? We called Trump a whiny bitch, and you ever seen it?

Theo Von 1:00:42 Where Jimmy Kimmel called Donald Trump that?

Joe Rogan 1:00:44 No, no, no, no, no, no. Bautista.

Theo Von 1:00:45 Dave Bautista did? Uh-uh.

Joe Rogan 1:00:46 You never saw it? S- find it, 'cause it's kinda funny.

Theo Von 1:00:49 Is he the Intercontinental Champion? I don't even rem- I, I haven't watched wrestling in a bit.

Joe Rogan 1:00:52 He was a big-time wrestler. Was a giant dude. Like, fucking built like a superhero. And then he went and did Guardians of the Galaxy. He was a giant dude in that.

Theo Von 1:01:00 Oh yeah, with Chris Pratt?

Joe Rogan 1:01:01 Yeah. He's a big, giant wrestler dude.

Theo Von 1:01:03 Yes, now I know who you're talking about.

Joe Rogan 1:01:04 Yeah. But he wants to be a movie star, so he's losing some weight. He's a good actor, too, man. He was good in that, um ... What was that movie? The Glass ... Onion? The Glass Onion. Yeah. That was a great movie. That w- he was really good in that. Um ...

Theo Von 1:01:20 I'm trying to think of what I've seen recently.

Joe Rogan 1:01:21 He's just like a ... If you're a big, giant dude, and you're a big muscle-bound giant dude, and you wanna do, like, serious roles, like you kinda gotta lose some weight. You know, you gotta ... And you kinda gotta, like, support Kamala Harris. You kinda gotta, like, wear ...... pearls. You kinda gotta, like, soften your stance. You know, you gotta kinda, like, be performative that you're the guy that they would wanna pick, 'cause that's, like, part of the battle. Like, here, let me give you this.

Theo Von 1:01:45 Oh, that's him?

Joe Rogan 1:01:46 Yeah.

Theo Von 1:01:46 Thought that was Eddie Bravo, dude.

Narrator 1:01:48 Some kind of tough guy. He's not. I mean, look at him. He wears more makeup than Dolly Parton. (laughing) Whines like a baby. The guy's afraid of birds. (birds screeching) (laughing) Donald Trump had his daddy pay a doctor to say his little feet hurt so he could dodge the draft. Look at that gut. It's like a garbage bag full of buttermilk. (laughing) He sells imaginary baseball cards, pretending to be a cowboy fireman. The guy's barely strong enough to hold an umbrella. (camera clicking)

Joe Rogan 1:02:21 While he's working out.

Theo Von 1:02:23 And where is this? At Jocko's Gym?

Joe Rogan 1:02:25 (laughs)

Narrator 1:02:26 Like a little pink chickadee. (laughing)

Theo Von 1:02:29 (laughs) That's pretty funny.

Joe Rogan 1:02:31 (laughs)

Narrator 1:02:31 He's got jugs, big ones, like Dolly Parton. He cheats at golf. He creeps around beauty pageant dressing rooms. You know that little dance he does?

Theo Von 1:02:41 Yeah, he's a pervert, dude. Who isn't a pervert?

Narrator 1:02:44 He looks like he's checking out the girls' dress. He's moody, he pouts, he throws tantrums.

Joe Rogan 1:02:49 No, get those lights off.

Narrator 1:02:51 He acts like a five-year-old behind the wheel of a truck. (truck honking) He bends over for Putin, is cattier on social media than a middle school mean girl. The guy needs help walking downhill. Almost there, Grandma. This November, let's stop kidding ourselves. Donald Trump is afraid.

Theo Von 1:03:09 I don't watch this kinda stuff.

Joe Rogan 1:03:11 Look at this, the punches.

Narrator 1:03:13 Of dogs, windmills, Meryl (beep) Streepe, and being laughed at. (laughing)

1:03:25 Isn't it past your jail time?

1:03:28 But mostly, he's terrified that real, red-blooded American men will find out that he's a weak, tubby toddler.

Joe Rogan 1:03:36 Mommy, take me home. Mommy, I wanna go home. (laughs)

Narrator 1:03:39 What you know, tough guy? I wouldn't grab you by the (beep) .

Theo Von 1:03:42 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:03:44 Ugh.

Theo Von 1:03:44 That closing line's pretty tough, dude.

Joe Rogan 1:03:45 It's not bad. He called him a bitch.

Theo Von 1:03:48 It's good.

Joe Rogan 1:03:48 But it's like, you know what he's doing.

Theo Von 1:03:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:51 Trying to become a movie star. It's a good move.

Theo Von 1:03:53 But why-

Joe Rogan 1:03:53 The, the Hollywood liberals 100% love that.

Theo Von 1:03:57 Well, Hollywood's just crazy to me, dude. I just don't understand it. Like, it, it seems like they hate white men.

Joe Rogan 1:04:05 Well, some people that work in Hollywood, I'm sure, don't like white men. But that's the thing about woke culture. It's like there's a hierarchy of the, uh, injustices that you have faced.

Theo Von 1:04:16 But it's al-

Joe Rogan 1:04:16 White, white men have p- even if it's not you, which is where it gets prejudiced, 'cause if it was not you, white men, over history, have caused the most grief. They've caused the most trouble. They've been responsible for the most injustices in this country, at least. You know?

Theo Von 1:04:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:31 Slavery, um, red line laws, uh, bringing the Chinese-

Theo Von 1:04:34 Other people helped with slavery. Let's don't just pin the tail-

Joe Rogan 1:04:37 100%.

Theo Von 1:04:37 ... on the honky donkey.

Joe Rogan 1:04:39 Right.

Theo Von 1:04:39 You know what I'm saying?

Joe Rogan 1:04:39 But in America, slaves were exclusively, exclusively owned by white people.

Theo Von 1:04:44 Oh, undeniably. Right.

Joe Rogan 1:04:44 In other countries, they're owned by all kinds of people. This is where it gets weird.

Theo Von 1:04:47 See, that's what we gotta do then.

Joe Rogan 1:04:49 Well, people don't understand is there's more slaves today than there have ever been.

Theo Von 1:04:52 Nuh-uh.

Joe Rogan 1:04:53 There's more slaves today than there were before 1865 when slavery was abolished in America.

Theo Von 1:04:58 You're lying.

Joe Rogan 1:04:59 Nope, there's more slaves. Um, in Libya, when we took down Libya and the rebels killed Gaddafi o- on television, did you ever see that?

Theo Von 1:05:08 Uh-uh, I did not.

Joe Rogan 1:05:09 It's one of the most terrifying videos-

Theo Von 1:05:10 What channel was it on?

Joe Rogan 1:05:11 Uh, C-SPAN. Um, but L- Libya became, for a while, became, like, a failed state. And at one point in time, there were slave auctions in Libya that you could watch on YouTube.

Theo Von 1:05:22 Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:05:24 How crazy is that? Like, look, go- goo- google the actual numbers.

Theo Von 1:05:27 Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 1:05:29 Yeah, it's a real statistic. M- so th- and this is also one of the things that people are terrified about with this border deal, okay? 'Cause one of the things about the border, it's not as simple as people coming over and they want a better life. Of course. But it's also people being exploited, and there's tens of thousands of kids that are missing. Who knows if they've been smuggled into child, child trafficking. There's who knows how many people have been... Okay, hold on a second. It says, "Estimates range from about 38 to 49.6 million people-"

Theo Von 1:06:03 What?

Joe Rogan 1:06:03 "... are, uh, slaves today. The number of enslaved difficult people is difficult to be- to determine. Estimates range from 38 to 49 million."

Theo Von 1:06:12 What?

Joe Rogan 1:06:13 Uh-huh. Yeah.

Theo Von 1:06:15 Oh my God. I didn't have any clue. I didn't-

Joe Rogan 1:06:19 Well, you have to include people that can't leave, even if they're not, like, in cages. People that are trapped, right? Like-

Theo Von 1:06:26 Like Gaza people, you mean?

Joe Rogan 1:06:27 Well, y- y- no. I would talk, like, people that work in coal mines or, uh, cobalt mines in the Congo. They're essentially slaves. I mean, they give them the minimal amount of food and water, they work in horrific conditions, and they live in complete abject poverty.

Theo Von 1:06:42 But they're treated better than the people in Gaza though.

Joe Rogan 1:06:45 Perhaps. Well, they're all getting poisoned. They're all getting poisoned pulling that cobalt out of the ground.

Theo Von 1:06:50 Yeah, but still, they're getting lunch I bet.

Joe Rogan 1:06:54 Probably not, not a good lunch, I would imagine. Either way, yeah. You, you could find other spots that suck worse.

Theo Von 1:07:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:01 But the point is, like, those people you could kinda consider slaves. Um, and then there's real slavery. You know, um, this friend of mine was telling me about, um, this place that was built in Jamaica or the Bahamas? I think it was the Bahamas. And, um, they brought in, uh, Chinese workers in, like, this giant ship. And he said they, they had this patch of land. They put up a fence around the land and all the Chinese workers lived on that land, and the Chinese workers built this resort there.

Theo Von 1:07:32 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 1:07:32 And they worked nonstop, 24 hours a day.

Theo Von 1:07:35 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:07:35 They built the whole thing in 18 months. They would just have shift after shift. And once it was completed, they took all the workers, put them back on the boat, put them right back to China.So, what was that?

Theo Von 1:07:46 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:07:46 Was that, was that slaves?

Theo Von 1:07:48 That's slavery.

Joe Rogan 1:07:49 It wou- I mean, it seems like slaves. Like, it seems, seems like unless they paid those people an exorbitant amount of money. I don't know. I mean, I don't know what the arrangement was.

Theo Von 1:07:56 Yeah, p-

Joe Rogan 1:07:56 But they put a fence around the area, they brought people in a giant ship, and then they put them back on the ship and shipped them back to China, like if you thought-

Theo Von 1:08:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:08:04 ... a slave-

Theo Von 1:08:05 Look at Fyre Festival. Remember Fyre Fest or whatever?

Joe Rogan 1:08:07 Yeah.

Theo Von 1:08:08 (laughs) What the fuck was that, dude?

Joe Rogan 1:08:09 That was a dude trying to make money.

Theo Von 1:08:11 Right. But still, (laughs) those people got carted over there. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:08:13 Yeah.

Theo Von 1:08:13 Nothing to eat, nowhere to sleep. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:08:16 There's some-

Theo Von 1:08:16 Definitely different than slavery, but still, it's like ... Yeah, it's like, it's funny. You'd think just 'cause things happened a long time ago that it's not slavery today, right?

Joe Rogan 1:08:24 Well, I wouldn't say that Fyre Festival is-

Theo Von 1:08:27 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:08:27 ... a form of slavery.

Theo Von 1:08:27 I, I agree. (laughs)

Narrator 1:08:29 Did you see Prop 6 in California?

Joe Rogan 1:08:30 What is that?

Narrator 1:08:31 That's on the screen.

Joe Rogan 1:08:32 Prop 6 prohibits slavery and involuntary servitude.

Narrator 1:08:36 And it did not pass.

Joe Rogan 1:08:37 (gasps) What?

Theo Von 1:08:38 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:08:39 What? Wait a minute. What?

Narrator 1:08:40 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:08:41 In California?

Narrator 1:08:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:08:43 "Proposed amendment to California's constitution would bar slavery in any form and repeal a current provision allowing involuntary servitude as a punishment for crime."

Theo Von 1:08:52 'Cause a lot of them gay producers trying to tranq out them twinks, homie.

Joe Rogan 1:08:55 (laughs)

Theo Von 1:08:56 That's why, bro.

Joe Rogan 1:08:57 Keep them as slaves?

Theo Von 1:08:57 I'll tell ... Yeah, bro. They bite every now and then. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:08:59 How would you ... Why?

Theo Von 1:09:00 Every now and then, a fricking, some twink fucking clamors out of an air vent.

Joe Rogan 1:09:05 Oh. Oh, here it is.

Narrator 1:09:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:09:06 It's forced labor in prisons.

Theo Von 1:09:08 Oh, okay.

Narrator 1:09:09 It has to do with paying people to work in prisons and do s- like, they have to fight the wildfires and stuff.

Joe Rogan 1:09:13 Interesting. So, they want them to have to work? Wow.

Narrator 1:09:17 They just don't wanna pay.

Joe Rogan 1:09:19 Bro.

Theo Von 1:09:19 Yeah. That's California.

Joe Rogan 1:09:20 But that is what happened, right? That was what the Jim Crow Laws were all about, man. Like, one, one of the things about slavery is, slavery didn't end, "Boom, now let's give Black people jobs." No. Slavery ended, and then there was this long period where Black men would get arrested for anything and everything.

Theo Von 1:09:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:09:40 And then they'd, they'd be forced to work. And they had work camps, and so you were still-

Theo Von 1:09:45 It's the same thing.

Joe Rogan 1:09:46 You could just get caught and you'd be a slave. You get a bad cop decides you're speeding. Whatever it is, you're a slave.

Theo Von 1:09:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:09:53 And they did that for-

Theo Von 1:09:53 Speeding, even if you didn't have a car and you're, like, you're speeding.

Joe Rogan 1:09:55 Yeah. You don't ... You're looking at people bad. You're verbally intimidating people. Whatever the fuck it is. People ... Like, l- you see with the ... When some, when they, someone wants to target you for something-

Theo Von 1:10:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:10:04 -you pissed off the wrong people, they fucking come after you with the law and they can get you if they just decide that you shouldn't be free and we're just gonna ... With, there's an industry around slave labor, which there is. There's also an industry now of, ar- around keeping people in prison, right? 'Cause the prisons are private. So, it's a, a private corporation owns this building where you lock people up for money. You get paid for them being there. So, you g-

Theo Von 1:10:31 Who gets paid?

Joe Rogan 1:10:32 The private prison. There's contracts with the state.

Theo Von 1:10:35 Like, it's like, a summer camp or some kind of thing?

Joe Rogan 1:10:37 Well, I don't know who gives the contracts, but no. Prisons are owned by corporations.

Theo Von 1:10:42 Okay. So, prisons own corporations. So, but I'm-

Joe Rogan 1:10:45 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Prison is owned by a corporation. So, it's a