Joe Rogan Experience #2257 - Bryan Callen

Narrator 0:00 (drumming music plays) Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out.

0:04 The Joe Rogan Experience.

Bryan Callen 0:06 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (rock music plays) Do you have good... towards it. My wife, uh, I smoked one of these and I didn't brush my teeth. I woke up the next morning and my wife said, "Your breath is four dimensional." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:21 (laughs) You didn't brush your teeth before you went to bed and you smoked a cigar?

Bryan Callen 0:24 No. Of course I didn't brush my teeth before I went to bed.

Joe Rogan 0:25 Ugh.

Bryan Callen 0:25 Give a fuck?

Joe Rogan 0:26 Ugh.

Bryan Callen 0:27 You know what I mean? You're married, you're married. She was like-

Joe Rogan 0:28 Ugh.

Bryan Callen 0:28 ... "I love you so much. Your breath is four dimensional."

Joe Rogan 0:31 Ooh.

Bryan Callen 0:32 You know these fires... I, uh, w- I have two small children now. 'Cause what I wanna do is, what you wanna do is you wanna get divorced and then you wanna have, get married again to a woman who's 23 years younger and then have two more kids, 'cause that's good. And, uh, and then I-

Joe Rogan 0:45 (laughs) Definitely takes a lot of financial stress off your back.

Bryan Callen 0:48 Oh, dude. There's no financial stress at all. It's great.

Joe Rogan 0:50 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 0:50 You know what? If I hustled til I'm 80, I'll be fine. Anyway, um...

Joe Rogan 0:55 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 0:55 Oof. (laughs) It's gonna be really awkward when I call you at 75, "I, I just need help this month." But anyway, so I, uh, fucking, um, I, I look at her and I go, um... She's like a girl from Jersey, like Irish-Italian chick, no nonsense, you know. Been working since she was 16. And I go, um, "You know, they, we had an evacuation order that they sent out by accident to people even down where I'm at."

Joe Rogan 1:17 Yeah, what was that?

Bryan Callen 1:18 It was some guy who fucked up, because I don't know if you know, this is gonna s- be, this is gonna be shocking. Grab the table.

Joe Rogan 1:24 Wait a minute.

Bryan Callen 1:24 LA's not run very well. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:26 Hold on!

Bryan Callen 1:26 I know. Hold on.

Joe Rogan 1:27 What the fuck you saying?

Bryan Callen 1:28 Well, because, see, here's the thing. We have to worry about-

Joe Rogan 1:30 Wait a minute.

Bryan Callen 1:30 I know. It's-

Joe Rogan 1:31 Isn't the chief of fire department a lesbian?

Bryan Callen 1:33 Now, hold on. Let's not turn this into-

Joe Rogan 1:35 LA's run amazing.

Bryan Callen 1:35 Listen, here's the bottom line.

Joe Rogan 1:36 It's run amazingly.

Bryan Callen 1:37 It's not about infrastructure. Infrastructure's gotta take-

Joe Rogan 1:39 I won't sit here while you disparage the great people-

Bryan Callen 1:42 Sir-

Joe Rogan 1:43 ... that are running Los Angeles.

Bryan Callen 1:44 Sir, infrastructure's gotta take a backseat to climate change and social justice and homeless abatement, which hasn't worked.

Joe Rogan 1:49 See the lady who's responsible for filling the fire hydrants gets paid $750,000 a year?

Bryan Callen 1:55 Hey, your tax dollar's going to good work there, everybody.

Joe Rogan 1:58 That's a lot of money.

Bryan Callen 1:59 You think?

Joe Rogan 1:59 That's sitcom money.

Bryan Callen 2:00 You think? I said my-

Joe Rogan 2:01 That's like, "I'm the star of a sitcom."

Bryan Callen 2:03 Oh, dude. It's-

Joe Rogan 2:04 Not star, but like you're the third person on the sitcom.

Bryan Callen 2:06 No, that's a, that's a high wage, sir. 750 grand?

Joe Rogan 2:09 Oh, oh, yeah.

Bryan Callen 2:09 For a city employer who's-

Joe Rogan 2:10 For someone just like, "Fill that one."

Bryan Callen 2:12 How... (laughs) How are the aquifers?

Joe Rogan 2:15 "Get the waters."

Bryan Callen 2:15 How are the aquifers today?

Joe Rogan 2:16 "Get the water in that one."

Bryan Callen 2:17 (laughs) You know what? We gotta protect the delta smelt.

Joe Rogan 2:20 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 2:20 Which, whatever the fuck that is, so we gotta, we gotta, you know-

Joe Rogan 2:22 Well, Trump was talking about that on the podcast.

Bryan Callen 2:25 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 2:25 On the podcast I did with him, Trump was going on this long rampage about Los Angeles and the fires and how it all can be prevented-

Bryan Callen 2:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:34 ... and they could have plenty of water.

Bryan Callen 2:36 W-

Joe Rogan 2:36 He explained the whole thing, and he's right.

Bryan Callen 2:38 Here's my whole philosophy. You guys know, you know that we have a tinderbox. And you can say that, that there are a lot of people that live there. The fires are, it's always a potential. If that's the case, then please make sure the fire hydrants... We've gotta be able to figure it out. You, you guys in... L.A., Ca- California came up with AI. I mean, w- the Silicon Valley was pretty innovative people. Let's figure out a way to keep the fucking-

Joe Rogan 3:02 Very different people.

Bryan Callen 3:03 They are very different people, sir.

Joe Rogan 3:04 That's like saying people in America-

Bryan Callen 3:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:08 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 3:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:08 ... are homeless and also Elon Musk.

Bryan Callen 3:11 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 3:11 You know what I'm saying? (laughs)

Bryan Callen 3:11 Well, get some people down in government-

Joe Rogan 3:13 You can't, you can't-

Bryan Callen 3:13 ... who are innovative like that. What the fuck are we doing?

Joe Rogan 3:15 They don't wanna do that job.

Bryan Callen 3:16 Do you, do you know, do you know the city council of Los Angeles? Four of the members of the city council are far left social democrats. How about that? There's zero, there's zero pushback on ideas. It's just all ideology.

Joe Rogan 3:28 Yeah, it's all an echo chamber. Well, I'm hoping now that this is a giant wake-up call for these people. I mean-

Bryan Callen 3:35 Good luck.

Joe Rogan 3:35 ... there's no positivity that's gonna come out of a horrific fire like that. But it, at least it'll wake... 'Cause look, that area, you know, Adam Carolla was on someone's show talking about this, and he said something that's, like, very ac- I think he was actually doing it himself.

Bryan Callen 3:51 Yeah, about permits?

Joe Rogan 3:52 He was... Yeah.

Bryan Callen 3:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:53 Well, he was just saying that there's 80% of the people that live there are far left. 80% of the people that got their houses burned down from complete, total incompetence and a lack-

Bryan Callen 4:02 That's right.

Joe Rogan 4:02 ... of management.

Bryan Callen 4:03 That's right.

Joe Rogan 4:04 Total incompetence.

Bryan Callen 4:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:05 80% of those people are far left people.

Bryan Callen 4:07 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 4:07 And that's a giant wake-up call, when you realize, like, no, this, these fucking people, this is not the way to do it. Did you see that lady, the, the fire lady, uh, who's a part of this whole diversity thing? They said, uh, "You're a woman firefighter. Can you w- if, can you carry my husband out of a burning building?" She was like, "Well, if your husband's in a burning building, he already made a mistake."

Bryan Callen 4:26 (laughs) Is that what she said?

Joe Rogan 4:28 She's a big old sassy-

Bryan Callen 4:29 My-

Joe Rogan 4:29 ... fat Black lady.

Bryan Callen 4:30 ... yeah. My favorite was that, one of the women said, "You want people to rep- to look like you." And-

Joe Rogan 4:35 Same lady.

Bryan Callen 4:35 And I'm like, "Hey, listen."

Joe Rogan 4:36 Same lady.

Bryan Callen 4:36 "Hey, lady. When, when my house is on fire and I'm trying to get my kids out, I'm not gonna be like, 'Hey, I got, I... Can I get some people that look like me? Because this, this doesn't make me feel safe.'"

Joe Rogan 4:45 I wanna be able to look like Brian Shaw.

Bryan Callen 4:48 So do I.

Joe Rogan 4:48 I wanna be able to come through fucking-

Bryan Callen 4:49 So do I.

Joe Rogan 4:50 ... walls looking like juggernaut.

Bryan Callen 4:51 They can be white as the driven snow.

Joe Rogan 4:52 (laughs) I wanna be able to look like-

Bryan Callen 4:52 Okay, they, if they look, if they look like a White Walker and they can get me out of that fucking fire, I'm in. I want Brian Shaw.

Joe Rogan 4:57 I wanna be able to be a giant dude who can carry people.

Bryan Callen 4:59 Yeah, with a mustache that goes like this.

Joe Rogan 5:00 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 5:01 Right?

Joe Rogan 5:01 Fucking handlebars. Yeah.

Bryan Callen 5:02 I love firemen.

Joe Rogan 5:03 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 5:03 I'm such a, I'm so gay that when I saw... They came by, I saw some firemen, and I didn't know what to do. I was, I wanted to say something like, "Go get them, guys," or something like that, and I, and I literally went like this.

Joe Rogan 5:14 Ugh.

Bryan Callen 5:14 I went, I saluted them. I went...

Joe Rogan 5:18 That's good. Something.

Bryan Callen 5:18 It was a little embarrassing.

Joe Rogan 5:20 It's an acknowledgement.

Bryan Callen 5:21 Yeah, but my wife-

Joe Rogan 5:22 You know?

Bryan Callen 5:22 ... my wife is so funny 'cause my wife is very handy and I said... And we had an evacuation where I looked at her and I go, "I gotta go do Joe's podcast and then shoot my special at the mothership, but, uh, I feel guilty about leaving you here." And she goes, "What are you gonna do? You can't change a tire. I got this."

Joe Rogan 5:39 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 5:39 I was like, "All right. See you later." So...

Joe Rogan 5:42 Yeah. I don't know. I would have felt weird about leaving them too, even though you're in a safe space.

Bryan Callen 5:47 Well, I'm in an area, I'm in an area where I'm good.

Joe Rogan 5:48 Yeah, you're good for now.

Bryan Callen 5:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:50 This is the thing about LA, that, you know, there's a viral clip that's going around now of a conversation that I had with Sam Morril a while back, and we were talking about when I was on Fear Factor, how this fireman told me that this was gonna happen one day.

Bryan Callen 6:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:06 He said, "It's just a matter of time."

Bryan Callen 6:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:07 With the right wind, he's like, "We won't be able to stop it."... now that's gone viral. And, um, then the Trump thing went viral too, because Trump was saying that they need to do something to change this. They need to clean up the forest, get rid of all the dead wood.

Bryan Callen 6:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:23 All these things-

Bryan Callen 6:24 The brush.

Joe Rogan 6:24 ... can be done. Get rid of all the brush, get rid of all the dead wood. Open up that fucking water from the north to come down.

Bryan Callen 6:31 Right.

Joe Rogan 6:31 This idea that... Do you know that the whole center of California used to be a lake?

Bryan Callen 6:37 No.

Joe Rogan 6:37 A giant lake?

Bryan Callen 6:38 No.

Joe Rogan 6:39 Bro, I found out about it about a year ago.

Bryan Callen 6:41 Really?

Joe Rogan 6:42 It's crazy.

Bryan Callen 6:43 Hm.

Joe Rogan 6:43 Young Jamie, wait til you see how big this fucking lake was. And all of it, all of the... is all meddling and fucking around by humans.

Bryan Callen 6:54 Did I ever tell you the conversation I had with Arnold Schwarzenegger? I was with John Leguizamo-

Joe Rogan 6:59 Did he say, "Screw your freedom?"

Bryan Callen 7:01 (laughs) No, he didn't say-

Joe Rogan 7:01 "Screw your freedom."

Bryan Callen 7:02 This is before that. I was doing that movie-

Joe Rogan 7:04 "Screw your freedom."

Bryan Callen 7:06 Screw your freedom. I, um, he, he said, um-

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Bryan Callen 8:31 So I'm, I'm with John Leguizamo. We were doing that movie Ride Along, and John goes, uh, "Hey, stick around. I'm gonna... We'll have some dinner with a friend of mine who's coming by." I didn't know who it was. Arnold shows up with his assistant. It was kind of cool. And I'm a fan. So we're sitting there, and I had just read a book on California politics by Michael Lewis called Boomerang about sort of like how a lot of the towns like Stockton went broke because of the pension plans and all that shit. Blah, blah, blah. So-

Joe Rogan 8:56 I thought it was the Diaz brothers running around slapping people. (laughs)

Bryan Callen 9:00 It is that too, Joe. It is that too.

Joe Rogan 9:02 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 9:02 It's, it's that too.

Joe Rogan 9:03 Did you find that lake?

Narrator 9:03 Yeah, yeah. I was waiting for you.

Joe Rogan 9:05 Check this out. Look at the size of this lake, Tulare Lake.

Bryan Callen 9:10 What?

Narrator 9:10 Largest freshwater lake west of the Mississippi.

Bryan Callen 9:13 Where, though?

Joe Rogan 9:13 Largest freshwater lake west of the Mississippi.

Bryan Callen 9:16 What?

Joe Rogan 9:17 It used to be fucking huge. Show a photo of what it used to look like.

Narrator 9:22 Uh.

Joe Rogan 9:22 So, it was all agriculture. They fucked it up.

Bryan Callen 9:26 Oh, because they drained it, right?

Joe Rogan 9:27 Look at the size of it.

Bryan Callen 9:28 What the fuck?

Joe Rogan 9:29 Look how big it was.

Bryan Callen 9:30 What in the world?

Joe Rogan 9:31 Look how fucking big that is.

Bryan Callen 9:32 And now it's just gone?

Joe Rogan 9:34 Gone. Apparently, it's refilling.

Bryan Callen 9:37 Well, I guess we needed it for, to grow all the oranges, right?

Joe Rogan 9:40 Shut the fuck up.

Bryan Callen 9:41 I mean, you know, it became-

Joe Rogan 9:43 We needed it for almonds.

Bryan Callen 9:44 For the Owens Valley?

Joe Rogan 9:44 So I can get almond milk. There's, there's one amazing photograph of this guy who was squirting almond milk on the fire outside of his house-

Bryan Callen 9:53 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:53 ... because that's all he had.

Bryan Callen 9:54 Is that true?

Joe Rogan 9:55 He had two quarts of almond milk. It's like this soy man, this, this literal human water balloon.

Bryan Callen 10:03 Oh, look at that.

Joe Rogan 10:04 Yeah, look at him.

Bryan Callen 10:05 God bless him. God bless him.

Narrator 10:06 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 10:06 Dude. That's when you're really trying.

Narrator 10:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:09 Where's your COVID mask on.

Bryan Callen 10:10 That's, that's just a last stand, bro. That's a last stand. That's-

Joe Rogan 10:14 No, you should have been out... You gotta get out of there. You gotta accept it. I've been evacuated three times.

Bryan Callen 10:18 Have you really?

Joe Rogan 10:19 Yeah, when I lived in Belcaire.

Bryan Callen 10:20 Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, I remember that.

Joe Rogan 10:20 I got evacuated three times. You know, it, it burnt two houses in front in 2018. Two houses in front of my, uh, old house were burnt to the ground.

Bryan Callen 10:29 Well, that, that video I showed you of my friend's house-

Joe Rogan 10:31 Mm-hmm.

Bryan Callen 10:31 ... that just disappeared, and then do you remember I sent you that video-

Joe Rogan 10:34 Mm-hmm.

Bryan Callen 10:34 ... of him driving down the PCH? Those guys are coming to my house, because our hou- where I'm at is the only place that's, you know-

Joe Rogan 10:39 For them to help.

Bryan Callen 10:39 ... where the air is breathable and all that.

Joe Rogan 10:41 Yeah. For now.

Bryan Callen 10:41 Well, we have a barrier between, um, the 405 and also the airport, so it's really... We're pretty safe, even here.

Joe Rogan 10:47 Yeah, pretty safe.

Bryan Callen 10:48 Hm.

Joe Rogan 10:48 The thing about... I mean, this is from someone who's been through it a few times. You don't understand. You think it's just a fire. It's not. It's a storm.

Bryan Callen 10:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:56 So I saw fire tornadoes.

Bryan Callen 10:59 You did?

Joe Rogan 10:59 Until you've seen a... Yeah, I saw fire tornadoes. When we were filming-

Bryan Callen 11:03 It's terrifying.

Joe Rogan 11:03 We were filming on Fear Factor, and ironically, this was the same time where this fireman was explaining to me what's gonna happen in LA. We were filming Fear Factor, and when we were driving back, the entire ri-... I go-... I watched a guy die.

Bryan Callen 11:16 What?

Joe Rogan 11:16 I watched a guy run across the highway and get hit by a car.

Bryan Callen 11:19 What the fuck?

Joe Rogan 11:20 Yeah. I didn't see him get hit by a car, but I saw him.

Bryan Callen 11:23 Jesus Christ.

Joe Rogan 11:23 Uh, he was... And my, um, producer, the producer of the show apparently saw more. He saw, like, graphic... You know. People were panicking. Um, the, there was ash falling from the sky like it was snowing. It was crazy. And everyone's driving, and no one... Everyone's got this, like, somber, like, 50-mile-an-hour driving. The entire right side of the highway for an hour. Like-

Bryan Callen 11:50 What?

Joe Rogan 11:50 We were filming-

Bryan Callen 11:50 And you could feel that heat, right?

Joe Rogan 11:52 Yeah, we were filming off the 5, so we were, like, way up by, you know, like, as you're heading towards Bakerfield.

Bryan Callen 11:59 Simi Valley and S- Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:00 Bakersfield, like that area. That was... Was that off the 5 or the 10? Whatever the fuck it is. Um, when we were... We were pretty far away, and it was a whole hour driving back where the whole right side of the highway was in flames.... it got, I mean, completely engulfed-

Bryan Callen 12:15 Jesus Christ.

Joe Rogan 12:15 ... like a Lord of the Rings movie where you're waiting for Sauron to come riding on an evil horse over the top of it. It was nuts. It was fucking nuts. And you would see fire tornadoes, man. The fire was fucking insane.

Bryan Callen 12:29 There's nothing you can do to-

Joe Rogan 12:30 And it's flying through the air, so you're worried your car's gonna catch fire. One of the things that happens is people get stuck on highways, cars catch fire, and the fire and the winds just roll through the whole highway and everybody burns alive inside their cars.

Bryan Callen 12:44 What?

Joe Rogan 12:44 Yeah, that happened at, what is it, the camp, park camp? What was the big fire-

Bryan Callen 12:48 Oh, that's right. That, that, that's-

Joe Rogan 12:49 ... in Northern California.

Bryan Callen 12:50 Yeah, in the city. I know it's done-

Joe Rogan 12:51 A ton of people died in their cars.

Bryan Callen 12:53 Horrifying. Horrifying.

Joe Rogan 12:54 Oh.

Bryan Callen 12:55 The h- you know, I gotta tell you, the crazy thing about the Pacific Palisades was that eight years ago, probably, eight, maybe almost nine years ago, I looked at houses there with my, my ex-wife, and we came so close to buying a house 'cause it was s- it's such a beautiful place. We didn't buy it 'cause it was a little too expensive, to be honest with you, it was like, it was like, you know, just a little out of our price, you know, point. But, uh, even like for a smaller house, it was expensive, right? But it's beautiful neighborhood.

Joe Rogan 13:22 Yeah, it's a pricey area, but it's gorgeous.

Bryan Callen 13:23 The last thing, the last thing... The last thing you would ever think, the last thing is, um, that that house would burn down or there was a fire hazard, especially down like where Gelson's was or the whole town. That, dude, when I'm saying the town is gone, do you know the only structure that's standing is that guy Caruso, that mayor, the guy who ran for mayor, narrowly lost to Karen Bass? He built that mall out of fire retardant material and that's the only structures that pretty much downtown that are, that in, in the town of Cali- um, Pacific Palisades. Frank Grillo, um, our buddy-

Joe Rogan 13:53 Mm-hmm.

Bryan Callen 13:53 ... his old house burned right to the ground. Just done. Just gone.

Joe Rogan 13:56 Yeah, Segura's house burned to the ground.

Bryan Callen 13:58 Everybody's. That didn't Mel Gibson's?

Joe Rogan 14:00 The one he sold. Yeah, Mel Gibson's burned to the ground too.

Bryan Callen 14:02 Look at that, look at that, dude. Look at that.

Joe Rogan 14:03 It's insane.

Bryan Callen 14:03 Nobody in a million years... I'm telling you, nope-

Joe Rogan 14:06 That's so crazy.

Bryan Callen 14:06 When you bought a house there, nobody said anything about fire. No one.

Joe Rogan 14:10 That's so... And by the way, fire insurance in LA... Why, look at that one house, perfect. Isn't that crazy?

Bryan Callen 14:15 Yeah, that's crazy.

Joe Rogan 14:16 What's that made out of?

Bryan Callen 14:17 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 14:18 The fucking-

Bryan Callen 14:18 I, I think just the wind blew a different direction or something.

Joe Rogan 14:20 I don't know, man.

Bryan Callen 14:21 It's crazy.

Joe Rogan 14:21 I think it's gotta be what the house is made of, 'cause that wind's blowing everywhere.

Bryan Callen 14:24 No, I, I don't think any house withstands that kind of fire. I think that's fucked up.

Joe Rogan 14:27 Are you sure?

Bryan Callen 14:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:28 How do you know? Are you a builder?

Bryan Callen 14:29 I am (laughs) .

Joe Rogan 14:30 You're not a builder.

Bryan Callen 14:31 That's Bryan Callen just, "Nah, nah, I don't believe anything can burn in California."

Joe Rogan 14:34 I- can't you make a house out of all concrete?

Bryan Callen 14:37 It doesn't matter. The inside of a house-

Joe Rogan 14:38 How's that one house? Look at that one house. That guy-

Bryan Callen 14:41 Dude, that's a, that's a, that's a question of wind, man.

Joe Rogan 14:42 That guy should play the fucking lotto, son.

Bryan Callen 14:44 No, that's wind. Look at that, though.

Joe Rogan 14:46 But b- but here's the thing.

Bryan Callen 14:47 Look at that, look at that.

Joe Rogan 14:47 You don't wanna live there now.

Bryan Callen 14:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:49 If you're that house on the corner and everything you look at has devastation, you don't want-

Bryan Callen 14:53 Well, the schools are gone.

Joe Rogan 14:54 Right, right, the schools are gone.

Bryan Callen 14:56 But o- but here's my other thing. Here's the question I have. Okay, so you see that, right? Now, who is going to rebuild there and who's gonna, who's gonna finance it? Are you gonna get-

Joe Rogan 15:05 And what kind of insurance are you gonna be able to get?

Bryan Callen 15:06 You're not getting insurance. So- so are you gonna get insurance or is a bank gonna finance that? Would you wanna rebuild there when you have to wait for a gas station, for a grocery store? There's nothing there.

Joe Rogan 15:17 Right.

Bryan Callen 15:17 So to me, I don't understand what, I don't know what happens to that very valuable property. I don't-

Joe Rogan 15:23 I don't know what happens to the entire city now.

Bryan Callen 15:25 I don't either.

Joe Rogan 15:25 Because people are looting like fucking crazy. Gigantic groups of 100 men, organized, are pulling into neighborhoods that are being evacuated-

Bryan Callen 15:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:35 ... smashing through doors and pulling out TVs. There's film footage of 'em.

Bryan Callen 15:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:39 There's also a bunch of people that have been caught setting fires.

Bryan Callen 15:42 Yeah, I'd be sh- I- I would, I would, I think they should be put to death.

Joe Rogan 15:46 One guy got caught setting fires and he had a UN debit card.

Bryan Callen 15:50 What?

Joe Rogan 15:51 And he had a bunch... I'll so- I'll send it to Jamie. The guy that got arrested for, I'll t- I'll tell you which, which fire it was, but he got arrested, he had a UN card. I'll tell you exactly.

Bryan Callen 16:05 This kind of, this kind of tragedy-

Joe Rogan 16:07 I don't wanna fuck this up.

Bryan Callen 16:07 ... brings out the best in people and the worst in people. The one thing it does i- in these communities, it brings all these people together.

Joe Rogan 16:13 Mm-hmm.

Bryan Callen 16:14 You know, my buddy started to cry because I was on the phone with him, he lost everything, right? And he, they're gonna come stay with us and he said, um, he, when I was on the phone, somebody, these people dropped by and dropped off clothes for them. And he's got a lot of money and he started to cry, man. He was like, uh, d- I can't tell you how many people have reached out. But-

Joe Rogan 16:30 He had five cell phones and a United Nations prepaid debit card.

Bryan Callen 16:35 I, I, I'm skeptical. Is this conspiracy-

Joe Rogan 16:37 Of course you are. You're always skeptical. You son of a bitch.

Bryan Callen 16:39 Is this conspiracy... I just don't wanna be played.

Joe Rogan 16:41 No, um, I think The New York Post did a thing about it.

Bryan Callen 16:45 You know what I mean, though? I don't wanna be played. I don't know what's true anymore.

Joe Rogan 16:47 Maybe The N- New York Post didn't post that he had the debit card.

Bryan Callen 16:51 Yeah. I don't know what's true anymore. See?

Joe Rogan 16:52 I'm getting this from the Texas Patriot Twitter account (laughs) .

Bryan Callen 16:55 See? See? (laughs) I told you. I'm, I'm already like, "Mm, I don't know."

Narrator 17:00 They, they said that The New York Post has edited the info out of their article.

Bryan Callen 17:04 Thank you.

Joe Rogan 17:05 Why? Because it's not true?

Bryan Callen 17:05 Spread rumors, Joe Rogan.

Narrator 17:06 The Texas Patriot account said that.

Joe Rogan 17:08 Oh, so then-

Narrator 17:09 If I look at the comment below.

Bryan Callen 17:10 Oh, d- you got, you got, you got played.

Joe Rogan 17:12 Maybe not. Maybe The New York Post are a bunch of pussies and a bunch of libtards.

Bryan Callen 17:18 (laughs) The Post, The New York Post is very conservative.

Joe Rogan 17:21 They are kinda.

Bryan Callen 17:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:23 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 17:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:23 We'll see.

Bryan Callen 17:23 But I, I gotta tell you, this is-

Joe Rogan 17:25 Their business.

Bryan Callen 17:25 I- I do think this is how this, th- there's a sea change here. You gotta have people with opposing points of view that are pro-business, et cetera. You have just all progressives-

Joe Rogan 17:36 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 17:36 ... in Sacramento and in the s- the, if you've got on the city council, but you know what? Until Angelinos wake up and start voting for intelligent people who are not... Forget right or left. How about practical people who understand infrastructure? Who put infrastructure-

Joe Rogan 17:49 Like Rick Caruso.

Bryan Callen 17:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:50 Yeah, like that guy. Yeah.

Bryan Callen 17:50 Because if the, the roads... I live there, man. The roads, the fucking power line, it's all, it's all from 1950s, okay?

Joe Rogan 17:57 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 17:57 So let's wake the fuck up.

Joe Rogan 17:58 And it's all above ground, by the way.

Bryan Callen 17:59 Correct.

Joe Rogan 17:59 Which is a real problem when the winds start blowing like that.

Bryan Callen 18:01 Correct.

Joe Rogan 18:02 Which is what happened in Maui as well.

Bryan Callen 18:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:04 If you don't believe in direct energy weapons.

Bryan Callen 18:08 ... yes, I forgot about those-

Joe Rogan 18:10 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 18:10 ... from space.

Joe Rogan 18:11 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 18:11 I wonder who's controlling those-

Joe Rogan 18:12 No, no, they're in the-

Bryan Callen 18:12 The Rothschilds.

Joe Rogan 18:12 ... Antarctica. Antarctica.

Bryan Callen 18:14 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 18:14 Yeah, the Rothschilds.

Bryan Callen 18:15 Yes. (laughs) The-

Joe Rogan 18:16 It's a cabal of Jews.

Bryan Callen 18:17 Yes, the ins- visible circle of Jews. That's what... Every conspiracy theory always goes right back to that, "I'm just saying."

Joe Rogan 18:23 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 18:23 And they go, "All right."

Joe Rogan 18:24 But, you know, the, the Mossad and the IDF and, like, the, the influence on politics is pretty well established. Like, there's both things.

Narrator 18:34 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 18:34 It's like, no, it's not the... The Jews aren't the problem in the whole world, no, and when everything goes sideways, people always do start blaming the Jews.

Bryan Callen 18:41 Always.

Joe Rogan 18:42 Did we ever figure out who said that to us? Was it Jordan?

Narrator 18:45 What?

Joe Rogan 18:45 Was it Jordan who started talking or was it Gad Saad, who started talking about it's one of the marks of a collapsing society when they start blaming everything on the Jews?

Bryan Callen 18:52 They, they blamed the Black Plague on them. They're like, "You guys cover your wells." My, my thing about that is whenever people go bad on the Jews, I'm always like, "Yeah? Do you like Hollywood? They invented that."

Joe Rogan 19:01 Yeah, but-

Bryan Callen 19:01 "And improv and monotheism."

Joe Rogan 19:03 Maybe not. Maybe that's not good. But then also-

Bryan Callen 19:05 And stainless steel.

Joe Rogan 19:06 Do they invent stainless steel?

Bryan Callen 19:06 And virtual reality. Yes, and virtual reality.

Joe Rogan 19:08 Well, listen, they have more-

Bryan Callen 19:09 And laser beams.

Joe Rogan 19:10 Eastern European Jews have more Nobel Prizes than, I think, any other ethnic group.

Bryan Callen 19:14 They're incredible.

Joe Rogan 19:15 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 19:15 Nobody wants to-

Joe Rogan 19:15 Incredible group of humans.

Bryan Callen 19:16 And let's just talk about art and everything else. Einstein, Freud-

Joe Rogan 19:19 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 19:19 It just goes on and on. So you're gonna have people-

Joe Rogan 19:22 How many comics?

Bryan Callen 19:23 The, the-

Joe Rogan 19:23 How many comics are Jews?

Bryan Callen 19:24 Oh, my God.

Joe Rogan 19:24 Jesus Christ.

Bryan Callen 19:25 Some of the funniest people of all time.

Joe Rogan 19:26 One of the greatest of all time, Lenny Bruce. Jew.

Bryan Callen 19:28 Thank you.

Joe Rogan 19:28 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 19:28 That groundbreaker.

Joe Rogan 19:29 The, the literal starter of this whole thing we do.

Bryan Callen 19:31 Groundbreakers.

Joe Rogan 19:32 Yeah, yeah.

Bryan Callen 19:33 Yeah. So I always say that-

Joe Rogan 19:34 But also-

Bryan Callen 19:34 ... you're gonna have very innovative people-

Joe Rogan 19:35 Also probably funding Epstein-

Bryan Callen 19:37 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 19:37 ... but also probably running a gigantic blackmail ring where they have control over all the pop- politicians in the country, so that-

Bryan Callen 19:43 I might be doing that too if I, if I, if my-

Joe Rogan 19:45 But also-

Bryan Callen 19:45 ... if my survival depended on it, you know?

Joe Rogan 19:47 Especially if you're smart-

Bryan Callen 19:48 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 19:48 ... and you're, like, really good at chess. You're like, "I know what to do."

Bryan Callen 19:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:51 "These guys like to fuck."

Bryan Callen 19:53 (laughs) Right?

Joe Rogan 19:54 (laughs) "Let's set 'em up."

Bryan Callen 19:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:55 "Let's set 'em up."

Bryan Callen 19:55 What... Have we ever, uh, have... Has there a- been any... What is the, with the list? My, my... Here's my theory on the Jeffrey Epstein thing. What, just see what you think.

Joe Rogan 20:03 Oh, I would love to hear this.

Bryan Callen 20:04 Okay.

Joe Rogan 20:05 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 20:05 I think that, I think that the people are so powerful that I, that I know, I know in certain cases, the lawyers go to the lawyers of these powerful people. And they go, "How you doing? Now, we got some evidence that your client, who's a family man and everything else, was banging girls on Jeffrey's island."

Joe Rogan 20:25 Getting pissed on.

Bryan Callen 20:26 Yep. Yeah, whatever it is, bro.

Joe Rogan 20:28 Getting his nuts put in a cinch.

Bryan Callen 20:29 Sure. We got, we got-

Joe Rogan 20:31 Little kids are shitting in his mouth.

Bryan Callen 20:32 (laughs) Sure.

Joe Rogan 20:33 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 20:33 "Hey, dude. Hey, hold on. What kind of podcast is this?"

Joe Rogan 20:37 Look, they're doing drugs.

Bryan Callen 20:38 Why did everyone bring a beer?

Joe Rogan 20:38 They're doing drugs, they're taking wild chances.

Bryan Callen 20:40 As I put this shit cigar in my mouth. I don't know.

Joe Rogan 20:43 (laughs) These are good cigars, man.

Bryan Callen 20:44 Mm-hmm. Delicious. Um-

Joe Rogan 20:45 Shout out to Foundation Cigars.

Bryan Callen 20:47 Yeah, it's great. Um, but, but I think what happened was there was a lot of money and every one of those fucking people got paid off. I think it just went away 'cause there's, there's money. It, they, they came to these really rich people and they were like, "W- what, what's your, what's your privacy worth? What's your reputation worth? How about $10 million? How about 20?"

Joe Rogan 21:07 Well, this is the, the whole suspicion as to why the guy who was the CEO of Victoria's Secrets gave Jeffrey Epstein a fucking $60 million mansion in Manhattan.

Bryan Callen 21:18 And controlled his whole estate.

Joe Rogan 21:19 Yeah, and then there was the other guy who was some big CEO who gave him $150 million and had to resign.

Bryan Callen 21:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:28 A bunch of these guys resigned. Um, money got passed around, and unbelievably, the client list has not been released.

Bryan Callen 21:36 I know.

Joe Rogan 21:37 I mean, it's been years.

Bryan Callen 21:37 And he, he was very good at laundering money, I guess, and he was also-

Joe Rogan 21:41 Was he? Even though I don't know what he really did. You know, the, the person do I trust about those things is, uh, Eric Weinstein.

Bryan Callen 21:48 Another Jew.

Joe Rogan 21:49 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 21:49 Yes, Eric.

Joe Rogan 21:50 Another brilliant Jew.

Bryan Callen 21:51 I love Eric.

Joe Rogan 21:52 I love Eric too.

Bryan Callen 21:52 One of my favorite people.

Joe Rogan 21:53 He's amazing.

Bryan Callen 21:53 Yep.

Joe Rogan 21:54 Um, but when I talked to him about it, he actually met Jeffrey Epstein.

Bryan Callen 21:57 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 21:57 And he said... And Eric is just way too smart.

Bryan Callen 22:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:00 You know, he's not a guy that you could fool.

Bryan Callen 22:03 Right.

Joe Rogan 22:03 And-

Bryan Callen 22:03 He was like, "This is a construct what's going on."

Joe Rogan 22:04 Right away, that's what he said.

Bryan Callen 22:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:05 He said, "This guy's a construct." He said, uh, that he had a woman, like, a 21-year-old girl that was sitting on his lap and he kept kinda, like, nudging his l- knee up and down to make her tits bounce a little bit. He kept doing that while he was talking to him. He's like, "What is this?" And he's like, also, this guy does not know what he's talking about when it comes to finances.

Bryan Callen 22:25 Wow.

Joe Rogan 22:25 You know, like, Eric's a l- legitimate genius.

Bryan Callen 22:28 Correct.

Joe Rogan 22:29 You know, a mathematician. You can't lie to him-

Bryan Callen 22:31 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 22:32 ... about stuff like that.

Bryan Callen 22:33 Ever tell you his, his theory on, uh, on what he thinks this whole thing is? This whole, you know, ah, it's a simulation or whatever.

Joe Rogan 22:40 Mm.

Bryan Callen 22:40 You're a, he's... 'Cause, you know... So, so Newton, there's Newtonian physics, right, which is this matter here, and then there's quantum physics, study of the electron that Einstein was a pioneer of and blah, blah, blah. So, Einstein was working on what's called the theory of everything, which was the bridge. How do you, how do you... 'Cause a lot of times the rules in this ether, in Newtonian, in the world that we live in are different wh- when it comes to gravity and light than they are on a quantum level. So, what is the bridge? How do we bring them together? Well, how do we reconcile both realities?

Joe Rogan 23:10 Right.

Bryan Callen 23:11 So that's the theory of everything. So Eric is obsessed with that and kinda works from that.

Joe Rogan 23:15 Well, he made his own theory of everything.

Bryan Callen 23:16 Yeah, so his idea is that maybe the singularity is already here and maybe we're already machines and we are... So, so watch this. So we're already machines replicating better machines, better versions of ourselves. And it's kind of an interesting 'cause, 'cause it kinda fold dovetails with Buddhism, right? So watch this. I'm gonna do an experiment on you that, that a Buddhist ******* will ask somebody.

Joe Rogan 23:38 Oh, should I get prepared?

Bryan Callen 23:39 Get, get, get in the lotus-

Joe Rogan 23:40 (inhales)

Bryan Callen 23:41 Get in the lotus position. There it is.

Joe Rogan 23:43 Oh.

Bryan Callen 23:45 Ommmm.

Joe Rogan 23:45 (exhales)

Bryan Callen 23:45 There it is. Dude, good breathing.

Joe Rogan 23:47 I'm ready. (laughs)

Bryan Callen 23:48 Good breathing. Too much-

Joe Rogan 23:49 I'm watching this guy-

Bryan Callen 23:49 Too much yang energy.

Joe Rogan 23:50 ... doing, uh-

Bryan Callen 23:51 Bring your yin in.

Joe Rogan 23:52 ... DMT breathing today on Instagram. He was explaining how to spike your DMT and communicate with entities.

Bryan Callen 23:58 Oh, that's good.

Joe Rogan 23:58 And he was saying how you, you, you, you, you compress your, your balls and your asshole and all your sex organs. And then through your abdominals and you exhale all your breath. (exhales)

Bryan Callen 24:11 Goo- And you gotta-

Joe Rogan 24:12 And then you breathe like this. (sighs)

Bryan Callen 24:18 And then you come?

Joe Rogan 24:20 And you get that DMT flow.

Bryan Callen 24:21 Oh, is that what you get?

Joe Rogan 24:22 I don't know.

Bryan Callen 24:22 Doesn't work for me.

Joe Rogan 24:23 It's not working with one-

Bryan Callen 24:24 Doesn't work for me. Did he have a boner when he was telling you this?

Joe Rogan 24:26 But the thing is, like, most of these things take a long fucking time and I'm busy.

Bryan Callen 24:31 I'm busy, dude.

Joe Rogan 24:31 I'm busy and I'm easily distracted.

Bryan Callen 24:33 Correct.

Joe Rogan 24:33 I have a lot of ADD.

Bryan Callen 24:34 I'll just lick a toad.

Joe Rogan 24:36 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 24:36 All right?

Joe Rogan 24:37 Well, that's like Terence McKenna's whole thing.

Bryan Callen 24:37 My buddy, my buddy did that shit and he did it, he licked a toad, he did the toad thing.

Joe Rogan 24:41 Oh, the toad thing's odd.

Bryan Callen 24:41 He called me up, he goes, "Everything's different now." I'm like, "All right, calm down."

Joe Rogan 24:44 But that's 5-Methoxy. That's 5-Methoxy-

Bryan Callen 24:46 Have you done it?

Joe Rogan 24:46 ... methyletryptamine. Eh, allegedly.

Bryan Callen 24:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:49 Um, the thing about Kundalini yoga and all these different ways where you can, uh, achieve those states, like, T- Terence McKenna had a great line about that. He's like, uh, "One time, uh, the Buddha came to visit this town and this monk came to the Buddha and he said, 'I have practiced a city of levitation for 10 years and now I can walk on water.' And the Buddha says, 'Yeah, but the ferry's only a nickel.'"

Bryan Callen 25:16 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:16 And that was McKenna's conversation.

Bryan Callen 25:18 So great.

Joe Rogan 25:18 That was McKenna's take on-

Bryan Callen 25:20 So good.

Joe Rogan 25:20 ... why would you do this-

Bryan Callen 25:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:23 ... when you could just take psychedelics?

Bryan Callen 25:24 Yeah. That's so good.

Joe Rogan 25:26 Like, you don't really have to fucking meditate for 10 years, homie.

Bryan Callen 25:29 Right.

Joe Rogan 25:29 You missed out on a lot of enlightenment while you're staring at a corner of the wall. (laughs)

Bryan Callen 25:32 Yeah, you hear those guys a lot. That's kinda why I'm, like Zen masters will say, "I have nothing to teach you." 'Cause once you, un- t- uh, uh, y- uh, i- uh, the part of you... So, the idea would be you can't improve yourself. What? Because the part of you that wants to improve yourself is the part that needs improving. So, until you get out of, so you, until you get out of your own way and you realize that you, this, this c- construct called yourself is an imagined construct, you've invented this. So, like, Sam sh- Sam, uh, Harrison, and he studies the Vedanta, right? So in, uh, his book, Spirituality With- r- Without Religion, he does, he does this experiment which the Buddhists will, t- they'll have you do. They'll say... So, you're watching me right now, I'm talking. Now, now, there's this guy named Joe Rogan, okay? And we know Joe Rogan's got... But for a second, w- try to locate where you really are. In other words, where are you actually listening to me from? Where are you? Where is the seat of your attention? Are you behind your face? Are you here? And if you try to do that, i- it's v- it's kind of impossible to locate where you're hearing me from. There's this sort of echo, this idea that you're not hear-

Joe Rogan 26:42 This is a lot of mental jerking off. I'm right here.

Bryan Callen 26:45 Sir.

Joe Rogan 26:45 I'm looking at you right here.

Bryan Callen 26:47 Sir.

Joe Rogan 26:47 I hear you. You know how I know I hear you through my ears?

Bryan Callen 26:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:49 'Cause if I plug this one up it sounds different. And if I plug both of them up, I don't hear you at all.

Bryan Callen 26:53 You're still attached.

Joe Rogan 26:53 I'm assuming the sound's coming in here, I'm right here, I'm talking to you.

Bryan Callen 26:57 You're still attached to your physical self, sir.

Joe Rogan 26:59 This is all, like-

Bryan Callen 27:00 You're still attached.

Joe Rogan 27:00 ... the children of rich kids-

Bryan Callen 27:02 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:02 ... who sit around pondering the universe.

Bryan Callen 27:04 Dude, this is Buddhism, man. Come on.

Joe Rogan 27:06 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 27:06 You're not even a good student.

Joe Rogan 27:07 They take, they take a backpack and they go on a trek and they stay in hostels 'cause they're amazing.

Bryan Callen 27:12 I turn to my, I turn to the other members. "He, he's not ready yet. He's not ready."

Joe Rogan 27:18 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 27:18 "We have to break him down further."

Joe Rogan 27:20 (clears throat) Yeah. No, there's something to that, all bullshit aside. Yeah.

Bryan Callen 27:23 It's a really-

Joe Rogan 27:23 There's something to where, where are you.

Bryan Callen 27:24 ... it's a weird exercise. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:26 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 27:26 Because, because the idea would be you can observe y- your brain, so you can observe your thoughts.

Joe Rogan 27:30 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 27:30 You can observe your, your body and you can observe your emotions. You can actually step outside and watch that stuff. And they get really good at that. Like, they get really good at realizing that you're not, you're none of those things. You might be the observer, whoever that is or whatever that is. And that's kinda where they... It's a kind of an interesting exercise. That's why you see these dudes... Well, that guy, that monk who set himself on fire, right? In 1963. That, that, that-

Joe Rogan 27:54 Oh, the Vietnam photo? Yeah.

Bryan Callen 27:55 Right. Now, now, David Halberstam from The New York Times said, "He didn't make a sound."

Joe Rogan 27:59 Mm-hmm.

Bryan Callen 28:00 They watched him. And he literally, they heard the air leave his lungs and he just fell over.

Joe Rogan 28:05 So did the lady on the subway. She didn't make a sound either.

Bryan Callen 28:07 Is that true?

Joe Rogan 28:07 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 28:07 Well, she was also probably asleep or something.

Joe Rogan 28:10 She was until she was lit on fire.

Bryan Callen 28:11 Jesus Christ.

Joe Rogan 28:12 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 28:12 So, I don't know. But, but the idea would be-

Joe Rogan 28:14 I've never seen anybody-

Bryan Callen 28:15 He never moved.

Joe Rogan 28:16 ... burning, covered, engulfed in flames. He might not be able to talk.

Bryan Callen 28:19 Y-

Joe Rogan 28:19 Do you know what I'm saying?

Bryan Callen 28:20 Yeah, but he also didn't move.

Joe Rogan 28:21 Look at that photo.

Bryan Callen 28:21 So, he stayed there.

Joe Rogan 28:22 Oh, no, it was an incredible display of will.

Bryan Callen 28:23 So, he, he left his body. He was watching himself. That would be the idea behind... That's what they would say.

Joe Rogan 28:28 Or he, he had incredible discipline and through insane pain, he sat there.

Bryan Callen 28:33 Yeah. Well, have you, have you seen those videos? How about the, when the Indian army went up... This is recent.

Joe Rogan 28:38 That is such a fucking crazy photo.

Bryan Callen 28:39 Jim, bring up the Indian army.

Joe Rogan 28:41 Hold on, hold on.

Bryan Callen 28:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:41 Pull that ph- photo back again.

Bryan Callen 28:42 It's incredible.

Joe Rogan 28:43 Look how insane that photo is. That guy is just sitting there, completely engulfed in flames.

Bryan Callen 28:48 To protest the way the president of South Vietnam at the time, who was a staunch Roman Catholic, was treating Buddhists. And he said, "Please have some compassion," and lit himself on fire.

Joe Rogan 28:56 Jesus Christ.

Bryan Callen 28:56 What a bad motherfucker.

Joe Rogan 28:58 Now, that's a good argument for celibacy. 'Cause if that guy's getting a lot of pussy, he's not gonna, he's not gonna light himself on fire.

Bryan Callen 29:05 Well, that's right. Because you're attached to a sensation.

Joe Rogan 29:08 Yeah, it's hard looking forward to it again.

Bryan Callen 29:08 So, they, they rid themselves of sleep... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:10 Looking forward, titties in your mouth. (laughs)

Bryan Callen 29:11 I have a long way to... I have a... If you burn me with this cigar, I'd be like, "Fuck it!" You know?

Joe Rogan 29:15 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 29:16 I can't, I can't do that.

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Joe Rogan 30:35 ... yeah, I think all those things are tools to try to break out of the ego.

Bryan Callen 30:41 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 30:41 Right? It's all the- the problem that most people have is they think about themselves all the time, and the worst version of it is extreme narcissism, you know, and sociopathy. And then the- the best people are the people that think about others more than they think about themselves.

Bryan Callen 30:54 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 30:54 Those are the people that we admire the most.

Bryan Callen 30:56 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 30:56 The people that, like, genuinely think about other people-

Bryan Callen 30:58 That's right.

Joe Rogan 30:58 ... a lot.

Bryan Callen 30:59 That's right.

Joe Rogan 30:59 I think one thing that I really genuinely do try to do is I try to not think about myself.

Bryan Callen 31:05 Yep.

Joe Rogan 31:06 I think about things that I must do. (clears throat) Uh, I do think about things that I don't like that I did. Like, "I don't like how I handled that conversation. Maybe I c- maybe I was coming in, like, a little hot. Maybe I was coming in at a five, and I should've been at a two, and maybe- maybe the reason why it became a d- a- like, a contentious argument was my fault."

Bryan Callen 31:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:25 You know? And I've re-

Bryan Callen 31:26 Very good.

Joe Rogan 31:27 I'm so much better at that than when I w- I was when I was younger-

Bryan Callen 31:29 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 31:30 ... at, like, I can have a conversation with someone that I vehemently disagree with and keep it very civil.

Bryan Callen 31:35 Yeah, when we were younger, both you and I-

Joe Rogan 31:36 Yeah. Yeah.

Bryan Callen 31:36 ... we'd start shouting our opinions.

Joe Rogan 31:38 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's-

Bryan Callen 31:39 It was about winning. It wasn't even about-

Joe Rogan 31:39 Also, we were all retarded.

Bryan Callen 31:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:41 And we were young and stupid, and we had bad role models. (laughs)

Bryan Callen 31:44 (laughs) Dude. Dude.

Joe Rogan 31:44 So we were- like there was a lot of things going on there.

Bryan Callen 31:47 The worst.

Joe Rogan 31:47 You know? And then, like men would shut the fuck up. They're like, "Men would talk like men." And, uh, also, like, I grew up essentially feral. I- I- I-

Bryan Callen 31:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:54 ... didn't have any-

Bryan Callen 31:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:56 ... like normal structure. And-

Bryan Callen 31:58 I feel like I did a little bit too. I think we both did.

Joe Rogan 31:59 Well, you certainly did.

Bryan Callen 32:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:00 You traveled all over the country, all over the world.

Bryan Callen 32:02 World, yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:02 You were in a boarding school when you were in high school. It's like-

Bryan Callen 32:04 Yeah, like 13, yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:05 Like we talk- well, I remember talking to you about your life story. I'm like, "You're- it's amazing you're not more fucked up."

Bryan Callen 32:10 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:10 Like you should be like really fucked up.

Bryan Callen 32:11 That's what my aunt and uncle said. They go-

Joe Rogan 32:13 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 32:13 ... "We just can't believe you're not in jail or fucking on drugs or that." You know?

Joe Rogan 32:16 Well, you became the best thing-

Bryan Callen 32:18 I have great parents to thank.

Joe Rogan 32:18 ... for someone who's fucked up, which is a comedian.

Bryan Callen 32:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:20 Right? Because-

Bryan Callen 32:20 My parents were awesome though. They loved the shit out of me. So that was a huge part of it.

Joe Rogan 32:23 Yeah. Not- they're not b- look, it could've- my parents are nice too. They- it could've definitely been way worse.

Bryan Callen 32:28 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 32:28 It's not their fault. They had a child in 1967.

Bryan Callen 32:32 That's right.

Joe Rogan 32:33 And everybody was retarded back then.

Bryan Callen 32:34 That's right.

Joe Rogan 32:34 And their parents went through the fucking Depression.

Bryan Callen 32:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:37 So, everybody was, uh, just- it was a vile time-

Bryan Callen 32:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:42 ... with, uh, so many different aspects of our society, with, uh, violence and crime. And it was- you know, no one knew what the fuck was going on. They- they had just killed Kennedy. There was like- it wasn't a time for-

Bryan Callen 32:58 Fr- World War II was fresh.

Joe Rogan 32:59 ... rash- yeah. Fresh.

Bryan Callen 32:59 True destruction.

Joe Rogan 33:01 Vietnam was ongoing.

Bryan Callen 33:02 Genocide. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:03 Right? So, it was a time of great confusion, and I don't think you could ever compare. It's like when we go back, and we think about things that happened in the year 1200, like, oh, the barbaric ru- uh, b- conquests of cities and sacking of- of- of- s- uh, of countries by the Mongols and all this crazy stuff. It's a different time.

Bryan Callen 33:27 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 33:27 It's a different time.

Bryan Callen 33:28 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 33:28 There's different people in a different time. Our parents grew up in a different time. We are growing up in the most strange time, because this is like coming out of this barbaric sort of primal history and recognizing in some strange way that we're more connected than ever before. And the electronics are bringing us connected, but also disconnecting us at the same time.

Bryan Callen 33:53 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 33:53 So, there's this bizarre struggle for like inter-human communication and personal communica- and like learning how to like in- in- in exchange ideas with people and talk to people in a civil way while you're also- you're- you're more informed than ever before, more informed on human behavior patterns-

Bryan Callen 34:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:12 ... and psychology. We're seeing it play out right before our eyes where you've s- had- had a total polar shift of some of the key tenets of the left and the right, where the left is all for a war, the left is for censorship, the left is for whatever pharmaceutical drugs they're trying to push.

Bryan Callen 34:31 Top-down authority.

Joe Rogan 34:33 It's crazy. And-

Bryan Callen 34:34 Fidelity to- to- to authority too.

Joe Rogan 34:36 Yes. Yes.

Bryan Callen 34:36 Like just blind fidelity.

Joe Rogan 34:37 Blind fidelity to authority.

Bryan Callen 34:38 And also the left has also become very good at destruction in a lot of ways. Um, I- I'm not saying the right is- doesn't have its problems, but the left has become- like you and I were talking about this. Like if you disagree with the left, they will come after everything.

Joe Rogan 34:52 Everything.

Bryan Callen 34:52 The right kind of goes, "You're an idiot," and they'll make fun of you and do a meme about you.

Joe Rogan 34:56 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 34:56 But the left, you know, and that- that's- that's what I call the make-or-break machine. You know, if you look at, um... And this is one of the things I talk about with my- my special is that just- you- you- you take Caitlyn Jenner who came out. Uh, Bruce Jenner has an operation for eight- eight hours, comes as- as- as- as Caitlyn Jenner. A minute later-

Joe Rogan 35:14 Eight hours?

Bryan Callen 35:15 It was an eight-hour the first one. It was about eight hours, right.

Joe Rogan 35:17 For the face?

Bryan Callen 35:17 For the- on the face. Did a great job by the way. By the way, how about this? Can I just say this? Like-

Joe Rogan 35:21 Don't say you would fuck her.

Bryan Callen 35:22 No, no, no. Take it easy. But I'm just saying-

Joe Rogan 35:24 Don't say it.

Bryan Callen 35:25 I'm just saying-

Joe Rogan 35:25 You're thinking of saying it.

Bryan Callen 35:26 How about- how about a little something for the surgeon? He should've won artist of the year. The, uh, Bruce Jenner, a 65-year-old man, looked like a 45-year-old woman. Came out of it. But a minute later won woman of the year. All right, dude. Listen, we all have our taste, okay? I'm sorry that-

Joe Rogan 35:38 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 35:38 I'm sorry.

Joe Rogan 35:38 I like 45-year-old ladies. That's why I'm looking at you this way.

Bryan Callen 35:42 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:42 (laughs) I like me a hot 45-year-old lady. That's my thing.

Bryan Callen 35:44 I'm saying with makeup on Glamour Magazine, you look very good.

Joe Rogan 35:47 Like a well-kept 40s lady-

Bryan Callen 35:50 Sure.

Joe Rogan 35:50 ... who goes to the gym, does squats, looking good.

Bryan Callen 35:52 Yeah. That's what I'm talking about.

Joe Rogan 35:52 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 35:52 A real athlete. Six- every-

Joe Rogan 35:54 Hanging on because she wants to hang on. Do you know what I'm saying?

Bryan Callen 35:56 Every bit of 6'2", maybe 6'3".

Joe Rogan 35:57 When you're 23, you don't even have to hang on.

Bryan Callen 35:59 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 35:59 You're just there.

Bryan Callen 36:00 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 36:00 You're perfect.

Bryan Callen 36:01 That's why I don't take any advice on health from 26-year-olds.

Joe Rogan 36:03 Yeah, shut your f-

Bryan Callen 36:04 Should I eat more berries? Shut the fuck up.

Joe Rogan 36:05 ... fucking mouth.

Bryan Callen 36:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:06 Shut your fucking mouth.

Bryan Callen 36:08 Yeah. Come ge- get into my body for a second.

Joe Rogan 36:09 Get your hydrogen water. You shut your fucking mouth.

Bryan Callen 36:11 Yeah, fuck off. I gotta warm my feet up in the morning.

Joe Rogan 36:13 You're 24 years old.

Bryan Callen 36:14 Exactly.

Joe Rogan 36:14 You were just born.

Bryan Callen 36:15 Do you have this-

Joe Rogan 36:16 You were just born a matter of months ago.

Bryan Callen 36:17 (laughs) Correct.

Joe Rogan 36:17 Shut your dirty mouth.

Bryan Callen 36:18 Correct. I'm calcifying, motherfucker.

Joe Rogan 36:21 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 36:21 And none of your shit's gonna help my calcification. I'm go- I'm dying.

Joe Rogan 36:24 I have arthritis.

Bryan Callen 36:25 So do I.

Joe Rogan 36:26 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 36:26 So do I. I gotta warm my feet up-

Joe Rogan 36:28 Sure.

Bryan Callen 36:28 ... before I get out of the car, okay? I have a whole thing about that. But, you know, that's- that- that's the reality of getting older. You know?

Joe Rogan 36:34 Well, you're gonna be beat up, especially if you work out a lot.

Bryan Callen 36:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:37 There's just no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Bryan Callen 36:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:39 Shout out to Ways to Well for keeping me glued together though.

Bryan Callen 36:41 I gotta...... get involved.

Joe Rogan 36:43 Yeah, you gotta get involved. And get some peptides and all that stuff. I, I was talking to Zuckerberg yesterday. And he's, uh, he got his knee reconstructed. I said, "Did you get on any peptides?" He said no. I go, "Do you hate healing?"

Bryan Callen 36:54 (laughs) He looks great, by the way.

Joe Rogan 36:55 He does. He looks good. He's got a thick neck now.

Bryan Callen 36:56 He's got a... I know.

Joe Rogan 36:57 Fucking-

Bryan Callen 36:57 He's got a thick neck. He's got a perm.

Joe Rogan 36:59 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 36:59 He's, uh, he's, he's actually handsome. He's got a... He's wearing a jewel, he's wearing jewelry.

Joe Rogan 37:03 Yeah. Very expensive watch.

Bryan Callen 37:05 He looks great.

Joe Rogan 37:05 I looked at his watch. I was like, "That's pricey."

Bryan Callen 37:07 How much was it?

Joe Rogan 37:08 I don't know.

Bryan Callen 37:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:09 And I'm not a real watch head.

Bryan Callen 37:10 He, he doesn't look at prices, sir.

Joe Rogan 37:11 Oh, he doesn't have to.

Bryan Callen 37:12 No.

Joe Rogan 37:13 No.

Bryan Callen 37:13 Everything's free.

Joe Rogan 37:14 He's like, "I'll take one of those, please."

Bryan Callen 37:15 Yeah. I'll just-

Joe Rogan 37:16 Smiles.

Bryan Callen 37:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:17 "Thanks for your data." Smiles. (laughs)

Bryan Callen 37:23 (laughs) I'm in the-

Joe Rogan 37:24 I did give though, I like him a lot.

Bryan Callen 37:25 I do too.

Joe Rogan 37:26 I really do.

Bryan Callen 37:26 I don't know him, but-

Joe Rogan 37:26 I, I've hung out with him. I've talked to him quite a few times. He's a good dude. He's a good dude with a very weird job, you know, being in control of... What did he say it was? 3 point what billion people use?

Bryan Callen 37:36 Goddam.

Joe Rogan 37:37 3-

Bryan Callen 37:38 Well, I was saying, I was telling you this-

Joe Rogan 37:39 3.2 billion fucking people use Facebook.

Bryan Callen 37:41 I, I was telling you this the other day. I think his political transformation is interesting because... Now, there's a cynical view, right?

Joe Rogan 37:47 It's from jujitsu.

Bryan Callen 37:48 I, agreed. It, when you do MMA-

Joe Rogan 37:50 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 37:51 ... and you're around others, they got men, and you're on, your testosterone goes up. You start to feel your body. You put your hands on the world.

Joe Rogan 37:57 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 37:57 You're gonna have a different perspective, for real.

Joe Rogan 37:59 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 37:59 It's gonna change... It, it, it, it, they, they have done studies, I believe, Jamie, you can look this up, where, where, when they raise a man's testosterone, he becomes more conservative-

Joe Rogan 38:09 100%.

Bryan Callen 38:09 ... or right wing.

Joe Rogan 38:10 Yes.

Bryan Callen 38:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:11 Well, listen, man, and it's also a nice lesson to all those nerds out there that think they can never be a beast. It's not true.

Bryan Callen 38:17 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 38:18 It's not true. You don't, you don't have to hate people that are, like, physically competent and, and formidable.

Bryan Callen 38:25 Come join the party.

Joe Rogan 38:25 You can be one of them.

Bryan Callen 38:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:26 And I always bring up Mikey Musumeci just 'cause he's awesome and he's a, a brilliant guy who's like, wears these thick glasses, always smiling.

Bryan Callen 38:33 He's amazing, yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:33 And he could fucking kill everybody in the room.

Bryan Callen 38:35 Correct. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 38:36 (laughs) And it's like, Zuckerberg's on his way to becoming that.

Bryan Callen 38:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:38 You know, and he was, if you go back just a few years ago-

Bryan Callen 38:41 He was a fencer.

Joe Rogan 38:42 ... he was like this nerdy guy-

Bryan Callen 38:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:43 ... you know, who's, like, really smart but not, not really physical, and now-

Bryan Callen 38:46 Well, he's spent his whole life up here.

Joe Rogan 38:47 Yes.

Bryan Callen 38:47 Now, he's down here.

Joe Rogan 38:48 Well, he's talking about it. He was talking about it on the podcast yesterday that he loves training because it gives him a chance to express the side that has been demonized in our culture.

Bryan Callen 38:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:58 You know, and it's-

Bryan Callen 38:59 His voice sounds different even.

Joe Rogan 39:00 Yeah, he's get- he's becoming a man. (laughs)

Bryan Callen 39:02 Well, fucking bro, w- men are raised by women, uh, in our, in our schools and stuff. And the, and because of this, probably in the past 30 years, masculinity was always considered... Was, was, they were taught it's a liability, your aggression-

Joe Rogan 39:16 It's also the, the corporate environments.

Bryan Callen 39:16 ... your competitiveness, all that stuff. Sorry?

Joe Rogan 39:18 Corporate environments, you know-

Bryan Callen 39:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:19 ... which have really, like, put the brakes on masculine behavior. And we talked about that yesterday too, that, like, that's actually in some ways a good thing because it gives women this opportunity to excel as well.

Bryan Callen 39:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:29 You know, they shouldn't have to, like, become a man-

Bryan Callen 39:31 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 39:31 ... in order to get... Y- y- you sh- they shouldn't have that, you know, sexist perspective-

Bryan Callen 39:35 Right.

Joe Rogan 39:36 ... imposed upon them. And so... But it's like everything else. It's like an overcorrection.

Bryan Callen 39:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:40 You know, like, you have things go completely this way and then they come back, like woke, like the woke ideology. It went so far right or so far left. Now, it's kind of swinging back and it's going right.

Bryan Callen 39:50 Well, the, the woke ideology had a major problem, which was it was reductive, right? It would reduce-

Joe Rogan 39:56 Yes.

Bryan Callen 39:56 ... a complicated world to a binary world, which wa- which is ironic by the way. But it would, it would say, sort of say, um, "I can solve all this. There are oppressors and oppressed. There's power and powerless. Uh, black and white." And so, that's all it was.

Joe Rogan 40:11 Also, there's no forgiveness.

Bryan Callen 40:13 Zero forgiveness.

Joe Rogan 40:13 Zero forgiveness.

Bryan Callen 40:14 Don't apologize. They'll really crucify you.

Joe Rogan 40:16 And you can't... There's no retribution.

Bryan Callen 40:19 No.

Joe Rogan 40:19 There's no way to come back.

Bryan Callen 40:20 But my 13-year-old son, you can see these kids now at 13, don't start talking to him about this shit because th- these kids are like, they, they've already been... They figured it out at 13. I'm telling you.

Joe Rogan 40:31 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 40:31 My son was like, "I don't feel, I don't like this shit."

Joe Rogan 40:33 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 40:33 "I wanna do jujitsu and wrestle all the time. Fuck off."

Joe Rogan 40:35 Also, podcasts.

Bryan Callen 40:37 Correct.

Joe Rogan 40:38 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 40:39 Correct.

Joe Rogan 40:39 They get to hear actual men who've made it through the maze-

Bryan Callen 40:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:42 ... and aren't a bitch.

Bryan Callen 40:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:43 And they go, "Hey, wait a minute. That guy seems really nice and having fun."

Bryan Callen 40:46 Competent.

Joe Rogan 40:47 "And he's an actual man."

Bryan Callen 40:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:48 Like, there, there's real men out there.

Bryan Callen 40:49 He does shit that's fun too.

Joe Rogan 40:50 He has fun-

Bryan Callen 40:51 He's good at stuff, good at stuff.

Joe Rogan 40:52 ... like has a good time.

Bryan Callen 40:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:54 That's the point. Stop crying all the time. W- why are we fucking...

Bryan Callen 40:57 Oversharing?

Joe Rogan 40:58 Yeah. Why are we promoting and propping up people who fucking cry all the time? Listen, I cry. I cry. I cry if I'm happy. I cry if I'm sad.

Bryan Callen 41:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:06 I cry when I think about my dogs that have died.

Bryan Callen 41:09 (laughs) I have a whole joke about that. It's like, the, I... There are a couple of things. The, my whole joke is this. Uh, I, I can't call my friends. I, I, I had this joke. I was like, if I call my friends and I'm like, "I'm sad." My friends are gonna go-

Joe Rogan 41:19 "Call me, bitch."

Bryan Callen 41:19 ... "You got, you got the wrong number, pussy."

Joe Rogan 41:21 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 41:21 And it's like, "Joe Rogan, that's a mean way to talk to me," you know? But it's true. I remember one time I called you, and this is fucking great, I called you. And I remember, I, I ha- my audition went bad, and it was like the third... I, I wa- I would get right there. I was about to... And back then, remember, if you got a TV show, you, you, you, your money problems were gone for a while.

Joe Rogan 41:37 Oh, yeah.

Bryan Callen 41:38 All I thought about was I, I get to drink great wine and buy a fucking house-

Joe Rogan 41:41 (laughs) Yeah.

Bryan Callen 41:42 ... and take it there, right?

Joe Rogan 41:42 You're thinking of a nice car.

Bryan Callen 41:43 Remember that?

Joe Rogan 41:44 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 41:44 And I fucking called you. And I go like this. I go, "Ah, fuck, dude. I don't know. I was, I was good." And he goes, "You can't be good. You gotta be great." I go, "I know, I know, I know. I just, I, I don't know. I'm just, I j- I don't know. I just can't, I can't figure it out. I'm..." And I was bummed, right? And I was basically saying I'm sad. And you fucking go, you go, "Yeah." And he goes, "What do you wanna do tonight?" I go, "I, I don't know. I just..." And then he goes, "Hey, you'll be all right. Let's just fucking go out and eat and, and do something. You'll figure it out. Let's fucking relax. Don't, don't get all, like, mopey about this shit." I was like, "Okay." And that was it. That's beauty.

Joe Rogan 42:11 A lot of people get mopey, man.

Bryan Callen 42:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:13 I had a lot of friends that got super mopey when they didn't get things.

Bryan Callen 42:16 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 42:16 So, think about the a- audition process. And I've al- I've, I've always talked about this, that this is a part of the whole problem with the entire psychology of Los Angeles. 'Cause a giant percentage of people at least had some way in the back of their head, some, some sort of an aspiration to try to get famous.

Bryan Callen 42:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:32 So, you move there. You have already a v- exorbitant need for attention because there's some hole in your past-

Bryan Callen 42:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:40 ... in your... that you're trying to fill up with, "I wanna be a star."

Bryan Callen 42:43 Yes.

Joe Rogan 42:44 "And I wanna be so..." And then you're going somewhere... So, this need for acceptance, and then you're going somewhere where people judge you-... and most of the time, judge you poorly.

Bryan Callen 42:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:54 Most of the time, they don't like you.

Bryan Callen 42:55 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 42:56 So most things you audition for, you don't get.

Bryan Callen 42:58 Right.

Joe Rogan 42:58 And if you get one, "Oh, my God. Now I'm in." And so now, these manipulative people that are in charge of casting you, they can essentially mold your personality based on what they want. If they want a left-wing personality, if they want you to be pro-Kamala and, "We need a Black woman president," you, they want you to say all the... "I, I took my eighth booster this morning. Like, I believe in science. You know? Love is love."

Bryan Callen 43:24 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:24 Like, they'll turn you into that fucking thing.

Bryan Callen 43:27 Yes. Yes.

Joe Rogan 43:27 They'll turn you into that thing because the, the entire place is about the golden ticket. Everybody wants the golden ticket. I was so lucky because I never had any aspirations about acting. I had zero.

Bryan Callen 43:43 I remember. I remember you called me. You remember you called me and said-

Joe Rogan 43:44 But I mean, let me just-

Bryan Callen 43:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:45 ... let me tell you the whole story behind it. When MTV, when I did the Half-Hour Comedy Hour and then I got a development deal to do a sitcom, I had never taken a single acting class. And all of a sudden, I have this development deal. And I'm over there. And when the show that I was on got canceled, I was ready to go back to New York to be a comic again. I was like, "Fuck this place." But I bought a f- I had a lease. I had a lease on an apartment for a year. I'm like, "Fuck."

Bryan Callen 44:08 Right.

Joe Rogan 44:09 So I have, I was stuck in this... I couldn't afford to not be in this 'cause now I wasn't getting $20,000 a week anymore.

Bryan Callen 44:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:16 Like, whatever the fuck I was doing.

Bryan Callen 44:17 I remember.

Joe Rogan 44:17 I was like, "Holy shit." And I was ready to leave. And so then, I get another development deal and then I auditioned for the second show I ever do. I only had two auditions, ever, Hardball and News Radio. And I'm on two TV shows. I'm like, "This is crazy."

Bryan Callen 44:33 Yup.

Joe Rogan 44:33 And so I never went through that whole thing. I never went through that whole, "This could change my life." My life was already changed.

Bryan Callen 44:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:40 I didn't... None of it made any sense to me. I was making all this money. I had a n- I had a Toyota Supra Turbo.

Bryan Callen 44:46 I remember.

Joe Rogan 44:46 I was like, "This is crazy."

Bryan Callen 44:47 I remember you bought that Acura, the new Acura.

Joe Rogan 44:49 Oh, the NSX.

Bryan Callen 44:50 Yeah, dude.

Joe Rogan 44:50 I loved it.

Bryan Callen 44:51 You used to pick me up in that shit. I was like, "What the fuck?"

Joe Rogan 44:53 Oh, it was like a little jet fighter car.

Bryan Callen 44:55 Yup.

Joe Rogan 44:55 I loved it. But it was just like, for me, it was all gravy.

Bryan Callen 44:58 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 44:58 So I was watching everybody scramble for this thing and I was examining the psychology of it and how it affects everything. Because when people didn't get auditions, when they wouldn't audition, then you went out to dinner with them at night, they were so depressed.

Bryan Callen 45:10 That would be me.

Joe Rogan 45:11 Oh, you, all the time.

Bryan Callen 45:12 Years.

Joe Rogan 45:12 You, all the time. You wanted it so bad. I remember we were at the comic store one night-

Bryan Callen 45:17 'Cause I didn't think there was any other options.

Joe Rogan 45:17 ... and I remember telling you, like, "Why don't you just do standup?"

Bryan Callen 45:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:20 "Why don't you just throw yourself into standup?"

Bryan Callen 45:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:22 Like, "You're so funny, dude. You're so good on stage. But when you get up there, sometimes you just, like, I feel like you're auditioning for a show."

Bryan Callen 45:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:29 "That's what I felt like you were doing-"

Bryan Callen 45:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:30 "... when you were doing standup."

Bryan Callen 45:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:31 Like, you didn't want to be crazy. But then offstage, you would say wild, you'd s- say silly things. You'd be, like, w- much more vulnerable and ridiculous."

Bryan Callen 45:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:39 "And that was the funny Bryan County."

Bryan Callen 45:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:41 I'm like, "You, just throw yourself into this thing."

Bryan Callen 45:43 You remember when I was doing that, I finally got my own show, I'm doing s- those shows, I was like, "I fucking, dude, I, I don't like this."

Joe Rogan 45:50 (laughs) Yeah.

Bryan Callen 45:50 "I wanna do standup." Now-

Joe Rogan 45:52 Yeah, yeah.

Bryan Callen 45:52 ... now, I told you, like, the cool thing about being 57, I'm enjoying standup more now than I ever have.

Joe Rogan 45:58 Well, you're smarter now.

Bryan Callen 45:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:59 And Dom Irrera said this to me years ago, he's like, "Joe," you know, he was like in his 60s at the time. He's like, "Joe, I've never been sharper than ever." You just keep-

Bryan Callen 46:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:06 ... doing it and you keep getting better. We're so lucky we're comics."

Bryan Callen 46:09 Fuck.

Joe Rogan 46:09 "We're so lucky."

Bryan Callen 46:10 So lucky.

Joe Rogan 46:10 And he was. He was better in his 60s than he was in his-

Bryan Callen 46:14 Hilarious.

Joe Rogan 46:14 He was always great. He's always-

Bryan Callen 46:15 In his 60s, hilarious.

Joe Rogan 46:16 I paid to see Dom Irrera before I ever did standup comedy.

Bryan Callen 46:20 Dom is the best damn comedian. So did I, so did I.

Joe Rogan 46:22 Did you?

Bryan Callen 46:22 First f-f-f-f... I was in college and, um, I was at The Improv in New York and my father took me to, we sat there and watched Dom Irrera. I remember that's why when, when, when I'd come offstage at The Laugh Factory and I was still a little in awe of Dom. And Dom goes, "Bry, come over here." And I was like, "Oh, maybe he's gonna give me some pointers," you know? And I go over there, I go... He goes, "You know what I love about your act?" I go, "What?" And he goes, "You don't go for the laughs." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:50 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 46:51 I was like, "You motherfucker."

Joe Rogan 46:51 Dom's the best at that.

Bryan Callen 46:52 Uh, he's hilarious.

Joe Rogan 46:53 The s- the subtle diss-

Bryan Callen 46:54 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 46:54 The comedy diss.

Bryan Callen 46:55 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 46:56 I became friends with Dom... Well, I think I'd actually done an open mic night or two before I met him. But, uh, then, uh, I, or before I paid to see him, rather. But then, uh, not that long afterwards, so this is like four years later, like '92?

Bryan Callen 47:11 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 47:12 Uh, I was working with him in Montreal. We did the, uh...

Bryan Callen 47:17 Wow. That's intimidating.

Joe Rogan 47:18 Yeah. It wasn't though. He was super cool.

Bryan Callen 47:20 Yup.

Joe Rogan 47:20 Maybe it was a year after that, but it was-

Bryan Callen 47:21 He's a real comic, man.

Joe Rogan 47:23 A real comic. So maybe it was '93. So maybe it was like five years later. So I'm like real raw in comedy. But I had my feet under me at that point in time where I had some material that could kill.

Bryan Callen 47:32 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:32 Like, I wasn't a really good comic, but I had s- a few jokes, especially sex jokes that were bangers.

Bryan Callen 47:37 You were killing it.

Joe Rogan 47:38 They were bangers.

Bryan Callen 47:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:39 And, uh, so we did Montreal together and then I was in Amsterdam Billiards. This is in my almost became a professional pool player stage. Like, if, if pool was a l- a real career, like golf-

Bryan Callen 47:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:52 ... I would've become a pool player.

Bryan Callen 47:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:53 I just loved it. I loved the pool halls-

Bryan Callen 47:55 You're lucky you didn't get into golf, dude.

Joe Rogan 47:56 ... and the people. I'm so lucky.

Bryan Callen 47:57 You're a maniac.

Joe Rogan 47:57 Terrified.

Bryan Callen 47:58 You're fucking crazy.

Joe Rogan 47:59 But, um, I loved the, the pool players. I loved the, this, the hang. They were just so different.

Bryan Callen 48:05 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 48:05 They were outcasts and they were loose and fun and we, we said ridiculous shit to each other and everybody was laughing all the time. It was always fun. Um, and, so I was playing pool every night. And so, uh, I had a gig and, uh, before the gig, I think, or maybe after the gig, I went to Amsterdam. And, uh, Dom Irrera pulls up and he's got his own cue. And I was like, "Dom, you play pool?" And he's like, "Yeah, you play pool?" I go, "I fucking love pool." I go, "Let's play some pool." And he was good.

Bryan Callen 48:35 Wow. Wow.

Joe Rogan 48:36 We- we were playing straight pool.... which is like the type of pool they played in the movie, The Hustler. It's very rarely played in America anymore, but it's an amazing game. You play with a stack of 15 balls, and you knock off one. The first break is like a safe break, and everybody moves balls around till someone makes a mistake and leaves an opening, and that guy smashes into the balls, and then you run as many balls as you can in order. So it's called 14-in-one.

Bryan Callen 48:58 So it doesn't matter if it's solids or strips?

Joe Rogan 49:00 Doesn't matter. You leave 14 balls on the table, and the one ball, like, you leave a break ball, and then you rack the other 14. And so, you shoot the break ball in, the idea is to collide your cue ball into the stack and keep running. So let me give a shout-out to Jason Shaw, 'cause Jason Shaw, who's one of the best pool players on Earth, one of the greatest of all time, he just broke the world record in straight pool this week.

Bryan Callen 49:25 Wow.

Joe Rogan 49:25 And I think, I think he ran 839 balls. Jason with a Y, J-A-Y.

Bryan Callen 49:32 So he, he made-

Joe Rogan 49:32 Dude from Scotland.

Bryan Callen 49:33 ... 839?

Joe Rogan 49:34 In a row.

Bryan Callen 49:35 Fuck.

Joe Rogan 49:35 Yeah. He's trying to get to a thousand.

Bryan Callen 49:38 That's insane.

Joe Rogan 49:39 So he got 832. 832. So the record before was set by Willie Mosconi in, like, the '60s and it was on an eight-foot table with big pockets. That was, like, 500-and-something balls. So he beat that. He ran 714 balls, so that was the previous world record he also owned, and then he just ran 832 balls. When I tell you, like, the concentration involved in doing that... 'Cause you're talking about hours of play. I mean, I don't know how many racks of 15 balls is 832. Someone do the math.

Bryan Callen 50:14 I think when you d-, I think when you get that good at anything, you learn about ev-, you learn everything about life. Like-

Joe Rogan 50:19 Well, he's a wizard.

Bryan Callen 50:20 ... and about yourself.

Joe Rogan 50:21 He's a wizard.

Bryan Callen 50:22 Yeah. But you, but I'm saying when you master something like that-

Joe Rogan 50:24 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 50:24 ... I'm not saying your marriage is gonna be great. I'm saying when you master something like that, it's a, it's a very good way to really get to know yourself.

Joe Rogan 50:31 Here's how great professional pool is right now. He doesn't even win most tournaments.

Bryan Callen 50:36 (laughs) What?

Joe Rogan 50:37 That's... Yep. Yep.

Bryan Callen 50:38 Who, is there a nationality-

Joe Rogan 50:39 He can. He can.

Bryan Callen 50:40 ... that dominates?

Joe Rogan 50:40 Uh, no. Filipinos are among the highest level on Earth.

Bryan Callen 50:46 Why? Do you know?

Joe Rogan 50:47 Well, because the GIs went there in the 1950s and they brought pool.

Bryan Callen 50:51 Huh.

Joe Rogan 50:51 And Filipinos learned how to play pool in very tough conditions because it's very humid over there.

Bryan Callen 50:57 Oh, fuck.

Joe Rogan 50:58 So humidity affects the tablecloth, and the moisture in the tablecloth slows down the roll of the balls. And so you could take two approaches to that. You could either, um, hit the balls hard, which is like a, the American way to do it, or the Filipinos learn to use the entire weight of the cue and have an elegant, almost, like, artistic way of playing. They have the most beautiful strokes.

Bryan Callen 51:24 A stroke versus a hit.

Joe Rogan 51:25 Yes. They have the most beautiful strokes.

Bryan Callen 51:27 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 51:27 Especially at the time. So there's a guy who came over in the 1970s, and his name was Efren Reyes, and he came over under the, the nom de pluer, uh, Cesar Morales, and he was this Filipino kid who was-

Bryan Callen 51:40 Did he just do a different Spanish name? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:41 Yeah, well, he w- went from Filipino to Mexican.

Bryan Callen 51:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:44 Because everybody would've known him-

Bryan Callen 51:46 Right.

Joe Rogan 51:46 ... if they had ever gone to the Philippines.

Bryan Callen 51:48 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 51:48 Because in the Philippines, he was already robbing everybody. And, like, a legitimate wizard, a chess genius.

Bryan Callen 51:53 Damn.

Joe Rogan 51:53 An unbelievable, widely considered, if not the greatest of all time, one of the mou- You know it's like MMA, like is it Khabib, is it Mighty Mouse-

Bryan Callen 52:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:03 ... is it Jon Jones?

Bryan Callen 52:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:04 It's one of those deals. One of the absolute greatest pool players of all time. And then from Efren Reyes came all these other f-, this Filipino invasion, where they were just dominating pool. Like, and big money, like giant money games, half-a-million-dollar matches.

Bryan Callen 52:22 Fuck.

Joe Rogan 52:22 Yeah. Yeah. A ton of them.

Bryan Callen 52:24 And when you, when you have a match, how many games are you playing? It depends?

Joe Rogan 52:27 It depends.

Bryan Callen 52:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:27 Some of these guys will play, like, a race to 120, whoever wins 120 games, and they'll play it over three days, and they'll do it for $100,000.

Bryan Callen 52:35 Wait, a race, 120 games?

Joe Rogan 52:36 120 games of nine-ball.

Bryan Callen 52:38 That's a lot.

Joe Rogan 52:39 That's a lot. But that's really gonna find out who's the better player. So, like-

Bryan Callen 52:43 So how long would that take?

Joe Rogan 52:44 ... if, if you and I played 10 games-

Bryan Callen 52:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:46 ... and maybe I'm a little better than you, you could win those 10 games.

Bryan Callen 52:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:50 You could get on a roll, you could get a lot of rolls of the balls, where I get safe a few times, or I scratch on the break a couple of times. And so that's two more games that you pro- maybe wouldn't have won if we were playing, you know, even.

Bryan Callen 53:02 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 53:02 And you could win a race to 10. Like, the, the odds of me winning a race to 10 if we were both, if I was just slightly better than you, it'd be like, you know, maybe 60-40 or 55-45.

Bryan Callen 53:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:15 Something like that.

Bryan Callen 53:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:16 But when you get to a race to 120, then your odds dwindle.

Bryan Callen 53:20 Well, that's a phys-, that, that-

Joe Rogan 53:21 The better player always wins.

Bryan Callen 53:22 That becomes a physical game too now.

Joe Rogan 53:24 Yes.

Bryan Callen 53:24 Now you're actually an athlete a little bit.

Joe Rogan 53:26 Yes. Well, sort of.

Bryan Callen 53:27 Sort of. I mean, you gotta be-

Joe Rogan 53:28 It's concentration, for sure. Concentration.

Bryan Callen 53:29 Yeah, but your body can't break down 'cause then it's gonna-

Joe Rogan 53:31 No, your body can't break down. Those g-, the best guys are all fit. You never get really big fatsos-

Bryan Callen 53:35 No.

Joe Rogan 53:36 ... that can handle... There used to be a guy-

Bryan Callen 53:38 I, I, what I love about The Hustler, one of the great, greatest movies ever, with Paul Newman, is when Jackie, um... What the fuck's his name?

Joe Rogan 53:46 Gleason.

Bryan Callen 53:46 Jackie Gleason said, it really came down to character. He, he washed his hands, washed his face, and drew a blank, and came back-

Joe Rogan 53:55 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 53:55 ... and beat 'em. That, that was a really interesting lesson for me as a young man.

Joe Rogan 53:57 Guys really do that too. They clear their mind.

Bryan Callen 53:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:59 They go in the bathroom, they throw cold water on their face, they wash their hands.

Bryan Callen 54:02 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 54:02 They change their clothes.

Bryan Callen 54:04 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 54:04 They just need something to break themselves out of it. It's a mental game. Like, you know, Jeremy Jones, who's, uh, another all-time great, won the US Open, good friend of mine, we were talking about it. He's like, "I think it's the most mental game in the world." Because it's not just about thinking about what happens, it's about execution under pressure. And then it's also about, you're controlling the rotation of a ball. Like, you will, if you hit it this hard, it goes that far.

Bryan Callen 54:29 Subtle. Subtle.

Joe Rogan 54:29 But if you hit it this hard, it goes that far.

Bryan Callen 54:31 Wow.

Joe Rogan 54:31 And that's what you want. You want the difference between an inch and an inch-and-a-half. It's crazy.

Bryan Callen 54:35 But everything, everything at the highest level-

Joe Rogan 54:37 At the highest level.

Bryan Callen 54:37 ... is those micro-adjustments.

Joe Rogan 54:39 Right.

Bryan Callen 54:39 There's a reason-

Joe Rogan 54:39 It's the reason why Magnus Carlsen wins all those chess tournaments, right?

Bryan Callen 54:42 When, they say when, when Rafa Nadal, who's one of the greatest tennis players ever, when he won Wimbledon...... they're all clapping. He comes in and, uh, the legend goes, I don't know if it's true, but I heard, makes sense, he- he's coming in and he's going like this. He goes, "I, (sighs) I think my grip, like, I think I wanna..." He's not even paying attention, he's talking to his coach. "I feel like my grip should be just a little bit like that." Still making micro adjustments. You just want a little-

Joe Rogan 55:03 You have to.

Bryan Callen 55:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:05 That's what makes them so good in the first place. I know guys who change their grip all the time on their cue, like sometimes they'll grab it like this with two fingers and then they change it and then they turn their wrist forward and they'll play for a year with their wrist forward.

Bryan Callen 55:16 Fuck.

Joe Rogan 55:16 Oh, guys do weird shit.

Bryan Callen 55:17 But- but isn't stand-up like other... So I'm gonna shoot this special and I'm gonna throw it away and I gotta start again.

Joe Rogan 55:22 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 55:23 And just because I've done five specials doesn't mean it's gonna be easier. It's gonna be a motherfucker, 'cause I've gotta come up with, I gotta make sure I don't repeat myself, I gotta make sure I'm not... I-

Joe Rogan 55:32 You gotta have something to say.

Bryan Callen 55:33 You gotta have something to say? You can't get calcified?

Joe Rogan 55:36 I took a whole month off of standup after I did my special 'cause I didn't have anything to say.

Bryan Callen 55:39 You have to.

Joe Rogan 55:39 I'm like, I got drained doing that thing, especially doing it live.

Bryan Callen 55:43 Yes.

Joe Rogan 55:43 I was like, this is so draining. Um, and then I was like, let me, like, think about what I wanna talk about afterwards. Like, and then-

Bryan Callen 55:50 Do you have any ideas now?

Joe Rogan 55:51 Oh, yeah. I'm, I've got, like, 25 minutes now.

Bryan Callen 55:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:54 Yeah, I'm, it's- it's good stuff. Like, it's fun. I'm having a good time.

Bryan Callen 55:58 Do you get tired... Do you ever get tired of talking to... Do you ever get tired of doing this podcast, even though you have very interesting people?

Joe Rogan 56:04 No.

Bryan Callen 56:04 No, right?

Joe Rogan 56:04 No, no. Oddly enough, outta all the things in my life, this is the one thing that I- I kind of ne- Well, first of all, I choose who goes on it, right? So I'm always looking forward to talking to those people.

Bryan Callen 56:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:14 But, uh, I love talking to people, man.

Bryan Callen 56:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:17 I- I like it.

Bryan Callen 56:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:19 Like, the- like, the whole, like, moody loner thing, I don't get it. Like, people, to me, are awesome. They're interesting. I like being inspired, I like being intrigued. I like trying to think about-

Bryan Callen 56:28 Yeah, 'cause you have a lot of problem solvers on this podcast, too.

Joe Rogan 56:31 Oh, yeah.

Bryan Callen 56:31 You know?

Joe Rogan 56:32 Oh, yeah. Oh, I've definitely gotten a unexpected education.

Bryan Callen 56:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:36 You know, if you go back and listen to me in 2009 when I started this thing-

Bryan Callen 56:39 Dude.

Joe Rogan 56:39 ... I was a retard.

Bryan Callen 56:39 We all were.

Joe Rogan 56:40 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 56:41 I think what was interesting is we would, I'd have these opinions and I'd- I'd- I'd state these truths, and then, like, somebody would Google it and be like, "Hey. Hey, dude. No."

Joe Rogan 56:50 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 56:50 It's like I had this... Hilarious, but the fucking typical Brian kill. I'm talking about cows, grass-fed, all this shit.

Joe Rogan 56:57 Uh-huh.

Bryan Callen 56:57 And I'll go, "Hey. Hey, man, never been on a farm, okay? Never- never raised cows." The farmer goes, "Hey, I love your podcast. Brian's wrong about everything he said." (laughs) But it's cool. I fucking email the guy back, you know, I'm talking to him and he gave me an education. He's like, "I mean, what you're saying is just not true when it comes to how you raise cows." And there was 1,000 things. Of course, I had no idea. That's the biggest liability, I think, in a lot of ways. Um-

Joe Rogan 57:19 You know who you should talk to? You should have Will Harris on your show.

Bryan Callen 57:22 Who's that?

Joe Rogan 57:23 Uh, Will Harris runs, um, this amazing farm in Georgia where it started out as a industrial farm that his family owned, and he converted it to regenerative agriculture-

Bryan Callen 57:36 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:36 ... over 20 years, and it took him forever to do it. What's the name of the farm again, Jim?

Narrator 57:40 White Oak Pastures.

Joe Rogan 57:42 White Oak Pastures.

Bryan Callen 57:42 White Oak Pastures.

Joe Rogan 57:42 And then there's Joel Salatin who's a- a similar guy who, um, I think he was, they were talking about him having something to do with farming in the Trump administration. I don't know if that's come to pass, uh, but if it does, I- I really do hope that he'll be involved 'cause he's another brilliant guy who, um, runs a regenerative farm and-

Bryan Callen 58:02 Far- farming's no joke.

Joe Rogan 58:03 And what they do is essentially their type of farming is recreating nature. So they just-

Bryan Callen 58:09 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 58:09 ... contain nature. Instead of, like, having people, you know, shuttle all these cows into these stalls and put a fucking trough in front of them and like... No, these- these animals graze out on the field.

Bryan Callen 58:19 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 58:19 They just control where they go. And they eat what they normally would eat and they make sure that they get plenty of new ground, so they move them to new ground when they've used up all the grass. They push them over there. And then the chickens do the same thing. They- they have a chicken coop that's a mobile chicken coop. They push it out, they open it up, it- they run around. And then he's dealing with, like, hawks killing his chickens.

Bryan Callen 58:40 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:40 So he's gotta come up with ways to-

Bryan Callen 58:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:42 ... mitigate the hawks.

Bryan Callen 58:42 That's like his... Yeah, this is like Mike Catherine Wood. You know Mike? Great guy. Do you know Mike Catherine Wood? He was on, uh, uh, Loveline.

Joe Rogan 58:49 Oh, yes.

Bryan Callen 58:50 Great guy.

Joe Rogan 58:50 Yes, yes, yeah. I know Mike, yeah.

Bryan Callen 58:51 And he lives in Austin. So he-

Joe Rogan 58:52 What do they call him? What's his- his name on the radio show?

Bryan Callen 58:54 Psychomic Catherine Wood.

Joe Rogan 58:55 That's right.

Bryan Callen 58:55 So Mike gets... Mike comes down with his- his wife, who's an actress, and they're like, "I'm gonna- I'm gonna- I'm gonna be in Austin on the outskirts and I'm gonna, I wanna live on a farm." So he's-

Joe Rogan 59:04 Did he move here?

Bryan Callen 59:04 Yeah, he's a kid from- from LA. He goes, "I get here and we got guinea fowl, we got little sheep, we got, you know, rabbits, we got... And fucking the snakes are eating all my eggs."

Joe Rogan 59:17 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 59:17 The guinea fowl are getting decimated by coyotes, foxes, whatever the fuck lives out there.

Joe Rogan 59:22 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 59:22 I mean, everything's dying. Coyotes... The... I'm just... Was getting decimated by hawks coming in.

Joe Rogan 59:26 Mm-hmm.

Bryan Callen 59:26 "I'll take the- I'll take your bunnies. That's adorable. You think you can raise bunnies." So they're just getting decimated. Guess what they did? What's the one change they made?

Joe Rogan 59:33 What'd they do?

Bryan Callen 59:34 They got two Anatolian shepherds.

Joe Rogan 59:36 Oh, yeah.

Bryan Callen 59:37 And bro, he said, "Even the fucking snakes are on those." He's like, "Those fucking dogs are just like..." Coyotes?

Joe Rogan 59:45 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 59:45 "Excuse me, sir? Get the fuck outta here."

Joe Rogan 59:47 That's what they're, that's what they were bred for.

Bryan Callen 59:49 Oh my God. And they're not pets.

Joe Rogan 59:50 Shepherds are awesome.

Bryan Callen 59:50 Not indoor pets.

Joe Rogan 59:51 No.

Bryan Callen 59:51 Those fucking things will just patrol your grounds and anything on four legs is gonna pay a very dear price.

Joe Rogan 59:57 Good.

Bryan Callen 59:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:58 I want four of them.

Bryan Callen 59:59 Yeah, they don't fuck around. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:00 I'm gonna buy a ranch.

Bryan Callen 1:00:01 Are you?

Joe Rogan 1:00:02 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 1:00:03 Really?

Joe Rogan 1:00:03 Yeah. Yeah. Uh, been talking about it for a while.

Bryan Callen 1:00:07 You gonna live on it?

Joe Rogan 1:00:08 I'm just waiting for the m- maybe. But at the very least, we're gonna put the podcast on the ranch.

Bryan Callen 1:00:11 Really?

Joe Rogan 1:00:12 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 1:00:12 'Cause I wanna have a ranch.

Joe Rogan 1:00:13 Big ranch.

Bryan Callen 1:00:14 I don't wanna do the work.

Joe Rogan 1:00:15 I also wanna have a big piece of land in case things go sideways-

Bryan Callen 1:00:17 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:00:18 ... where, um, I can have, like, a whole community on a ranch. This is where I start my cult. I'm gonna have, just let people build on the ranch.

Bryan Callen 1:00:25 Hey.

Joe Rogan 1:00:25 Like, give them a few acres.

Bryan Callen 1:00:26 I got some kids. I wanna come by.

Joe Rogan 1:00:27 That's what I'm saying. Like, imagine-

Bryan Callen 1:00:29 You know, kids-

Joe Rogan 1:00:29 ... if you have like a 2,000-acre property and on that 2,000-acre property there's, like, a liter- literal community of you and your friends.

Bryan Callen 1:00:35 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:35 And you can go hunt on the land.

Bryan Callen 1:00:37 Yeah. That'd be me.

Joe Rogan 1:00:37 And then there's water. There's a lake there. Yeah.

Bryan Callen 1:00:39 Count me in.

Joe Rogan 1:00:40 Yeah. Yeah.

Bryan Callen 1:00:40 I'll wear a tweed jacket. I'll smoke cigars. I'm not gonna do any of the work, but I'll- I'll supervise.

Joe Rogan 1:00:44 You don't have to do any of the work.

Bryan Callen 1:00:45 Boy...

Joe Rogan 1:00:46 There's no need for that.

Bryan Callen 1:00:47 Go and take care of that hay.

Joe Rogan 1:00:48 But it's, I think it's a crazy dream, like, it's a crazy idea to do, but isn't everything...... a crazy i- Like, coming here is a crazy idea.

Bryan Callen 1:00:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:56 Building the mothership was a crazy idea.

Bryan Callen 1:00:57 But what if you had a, like a, a big pond with fish?

Joe Rogan 1:01:00 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 1:01:00 So you can fish. You had land, you can shoot your own, you know-

Joe Rogan 1:01:04 Let, let me tell you-

Bryan Callen 1:01:04 ... your own meat.

Joe Rogan 1:01:04 ... about freshwater fish.

Bryan Callen 1:01:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:06 Can't eat a lot of them.

Bryan Callen 1:01:07 Why?

Joe Rogan 1:01:08 'Cause the poison.

Bryan Callen 1:01:09 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 1:01:09 Yeah, there's a lot of mercury in freshwater fish.

Bryan Callen 1:01:11 Really?

Joe Rogan 1:01:12 Yeah. Um, there was a dude who, uh ... (sighs) What did he wi- He won some big fishing derby, he was a big-time fishermen. He started getting some weird neurological condition and, uh, it turned out it was 'cause he was just eating freshwater fish all the time.

Bryan Callen 1:01:28 Jesus.

Joe Rogan 1:01:28 In some lakes. So-

Bryan Callen 1:01:30 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:30 ... you gotta think about rainfall. Like you remember when we were younger, acid rain?

Bryan Callen 1:01:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:33 Everybody's worried about-

Bryan Callen 1:01:34 "Oh, it's gonna rain."

Joe Rogan 1:01:35 ... "I want it to rain. I want rain."

Bryan Callen 1:01:36 Yeah, what happened to that?

Joe Rogan 1:01:36 It, uh, I don't know. It went away. But the thing about it is, like pollutants in the air when the rain comes down, it does bring all that shit into the water and then it stays in that water.

Bryan Callen 1:01:49 Mm.

Joe Rogan 1:01:49 You know?

Bryan Callen 1:01:49 Ah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:49 So if you've got a lake and that lake gets drowned on with pollution rain-

Bryan Callen 1:01:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:54 ... you're gonna have a certain amount of toxic elements that are gonna be in that water.

Bryan Callen 1:01:58 Yeah. Mercury is not good for you and your body.

Joe Rogan 1:01:59 Like, uh, why don't you Google how much ... Oh, Jamie's already on it. Eating one freshwater fish equals a month of drinking forever chemicals water.

Bryan Callen 1:02:08 Whoa, that's a problem?

Joe Rogan 1:02:09 (laughs)

Bryan Callen 1:02:10 Yeah. No more trout for me.

Joe Rogan 1:02:11 See, that's the problem, these forever chemicals. PFAS found at high levels in freshwater fish with most concern for vulnerable communities. So, like, this is a good point about the vulnerable communities, because I was filming, um, a TV show once in Detroit and, uh, we were on the banks of this river that was fucking clearly polluted. And there was all these really poor people who were on the banks of that river that were fishing for food.

Bryan Callen 1:02:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:38 And w- Not just a few.

Bryan Callen 1:02:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:39 Like quite a bunch of people that were trying to get their dinner on that river and, you know, people that really, they needed that for food. They looked real poor-

Bryan Callen 1:02:48 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:02:48 ... and, you know, there was, uh, white, Black, all kinds of different nationalities, Asians. And a lot of people, and I was like, "Whoa." Like Detroit is s- At least was in 2012 when I was filming this thing, was fucking scary. Like-

Bryan Callen 1:03:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:02 ... th- y- when you realize how a city which was one of the richest cities in the country, there fi- thereby one of the richest cities in the world in the 1950s-

Bryan Callen 1:03:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:11 ... during the, the peak of the automotive industry and then to see it just decimated.

Bryan Callen 1:03:16 Decimated.

Joe Rogan 1:03:16 And these people were just ... And I was like, "Oh my God, they're gonna eat these fish." Th- And then I thought, "Oh my God, they have to eat these fish." They needed food.

Bryan Callen 1:03:22 Well, that was The Great Migration, right? So from the South, the bla- the huge number of Black people went up to Detroit looking for jobs.

Joe Rogan 1:03:28 Mm-hmm.

Bryan Callen 1:03:29 And the problem was when they got to there, first of all, the auto industry started to get decimated because it started to move toward Japan and different countries, but also-

Joe Rogan 1:03:37 In the '50s?

Bryan Callen 1:03:37 In the, in, in, I can't remember. See when The Great Migration was, it was before that. Um-

Joe Rogan 1:03:40 I feel like everything started-

Bryan Callen 1:03:42 But-

Joe Rogan 1:03:42 ... fucking up in the '70s.

Bryan Callen 1:03:43 Well, they, they had jobs and there was a whole thriving community, but what really what happened also is that the Auto Workers Union, I'm sorry, but it kept Black people out of it. There's a lot of racism that went on. So a lot of people couldn't find jobs.

Joe Rogan 1:03:55 The Great Migration-

Bryan Callen 1:03:56 Large-scale movement.

Joe Rogan 1:03:56 ... refers to large-scale movement-

Bryan Callen 1:03:57 Six million.

Joe Rogan 1:03:57 ... of approximately six million African Americans from the rural South to urban areas in North and West becau- bec- uh, between roughly 1916 and 1970-

Bryan Callen 1:04:06 Wow. (claps) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:06 ... driven primarily by the desire to escape racial violence, pursue better economic opportunities, and access improved education in the North. Mm. Yeah.

Bryan Callen 1:04:14 Escaping Jim Crow Laws.

Joe Rogan 1:04:15 Mm-hmm.

Bryan Callen 1:04:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:16 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 1:04:17 Didn't work out.

Joe Rogan 1:04:18 Well, it did.

Bryan Callen 1:04:18 For a while.

Joe Rogan 1:04:19 I mean, in m- maybe in a way-

Bryan Callen 1:04:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:20 ... it did because they thrived in those areas where they probably wouldn't have.

Bryan Callen 1:04:24 Well, it was like the Puerto Rican exodus from Puerto Rico to New York. They went up there looking for manufacturing jobs. Then the manufacturing jobs coincided with moving South. So you had-

Joe Rogan 1:04:33 Mm.

Bryan Callen 1:04:34 ... this massive number of people who didn't have anywhere to go.

Joe Rogan 1:04:37 In the early 1900s, many African Americans migrated North to work in Detroit's booming industries.

Bryan Callen 1:04:42 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:04:42 Yet they rarely saw the benefits. Many white neighbors actively denied African Americans access to decent living conditions and job opportunities.

Bryan Callen 1:04:51 E- Yep.

Joe Rogan 1:04:51 Mm.

Bryan Callen 1:04:52 There it is.

Joe Rogan 1:04:53 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 1:04:54 So.

Joe Rogan 1:04:54 There's a lot of darkness and all that stuff.

Bryan Callen 1:04:56 There is. But the history-

Joe Rogan 1:04:57 And the city that's left over now, um ... You know, you've seen Roger & Me, right?

Bryan Callen 1:05:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:01 The Michael Moore's-

Bryan Callen 1:05:02 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:05:02 ... film which is, uh, like, I think his best one. It was like when he was pure.

Bryan Callen 1:05:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:07 You know? He wasn't, like, ideologically captured and editing things for effect.

Bryan Callen 1:05:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:11 He was pure.

Bryan Callen 1:05:12 That was a bummer. I saw that he started doing that-

Joe Rogan 1:05:13 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 1:05:15 ... and I was like, "Mm."

Joe Rogan 1:05:15 It is a problem, um, because then it makes you question everything else.

Bryan Callen 1:05:19 Well, the, the, the, the, the, the biggest thing that ... Every mainstream publication is in crisis and I think they've earned it, they've deserved it. The New York Times still makes money but primarily not 'cause of their articles that people read, it's primarily 'cause of their crosswords, their, their puzzles.

Joe Rogan 1:05:36 Yeah.

Bryan Callen 1:05:36 But, you know-

Joe Rogan 1:05:36 Wordle.

Bryan Callen 1:05:37 Yeah, but when you take things out of context and you have journalists that are 26 years old and have an ideological