EVERY SPOKEN WORD
150 min read · 30,028 words- 0:00 – 2:26
Reconnecting after years: Comedy Store nostalgia and old-school mentor moments
- FEFelipe Esparza
(drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
- NANarrator
The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (instrumental music)
- JRJoe Rogan
Good to see you, my friend. It has been too long.
- FEFelipe Esparza
What's up, fool? Good to see you too.
- JRJoe Rogan
When was the last time I saw you, brother? It was like-
- FEFelipe Esparza
Um-
- JRJoe Rogan
... five years ago or something.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Five years ago, and I wa- I did the show here when you were in LA-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- FEFelipe Esparza
... at the warehouse.
- JRJoe Rogan
(clicks tongue) Damn. That's what I miss most about the store, is, uh, you know, traveling dudes. W- we- we would meet up. We'd meet up at the home base.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Yes.
- JRJoe Rogan
You know?
- FEFelipe Esparza
And now, when I was a young comic, I would see these older comics, like, that I would see on television. They were just w- coming out at that bar or the patio.
- JRJoe Rogan
Just get a refresh.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Yeah, and you pass by, and you say, "Oh."
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- FEFelipe Esparza
"That's, um, man-"
- JRJoe Rogan
Arsenio Hall, holy shit.
- FEFelipe Esparza
"That's Elaine Wosler."
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- FEFelipe Esparza
"OG right there."
- JRJoe Rogan
Right, right.
- FEFelipe Esparza
And then you're like, "What?"
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- FEFelipe Esparza
I used to see her at Dodger Stadium when I were working at Dodger Stadium, and I would ask her for advice.
- JRJoe Rogan
(whistles)
- FEFelipe Esparza
And she was just- just- you know, like, well, every comic back then, "You just keep writing."
- JRJoe Rogan
She's a funny comic, man.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Yeah.
- 2:26 – 4:09
The ’80s as a cocaine era: wild aesthetics, creativity myths, and why Joe avoided it
- JRJoe Rogan
It was crazy. There was, like, a big hair thing. I think it was when people started doing cocaine. That's what I think. I think it's the '80s, was Miami Vice and cocaine. Everybody lost their mind. They l- (laughs) they lost their fashion sense. People started to wear wacky clothes. Cars started-
- FEFelipe Esparza
And-
- JRJoe Rogan
... looking like shit. (laughs)
- FEFelipe Esparza
Yeah, man, like the Saab.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- FEFelipe Esparza
The Pinto.
- JRJoe Rogan
Bro, cars just started looking like shit. I mean, if you want an objective analysis of what happens to a society when they remove marijuana and mushrooms and then they bring in cocaine, and it's like the fucking-
- FEFelipe Esparza
Yeah. Hey, you know what? It's called- I call a Ford Fiesta.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- FEFelipe Esparza
'Cause we were at Fiesta yesterday. (sniffs)
- JRJoe Rogan
But cocaine brought us Sam Kinison too, though.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
You have to real- Cocaine's done some good.
- FEFelipe Esparza
You think it did a lot- a l- a lot?
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs) No.
- FEFelipe Esparza
No?
- JRJoe Rogan
No, I think it's terrible for everybody who does it.
- FEFelipe Esparza
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
But- but I do think that there's moments of inspired creativity from all kinds of substances, especially that rock and roll cocaine that they used to get, where it was, like, just real, pure cocaine. It wasn't stepped on, didn't have amphetamines and fentanyl in it and all kinds of other shit.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Good shit. Not like the stuff you buy, like, in Grand Rapids, Iowa.
- JRJoe Rogan
And I should say- and I should say this as a person who's never tried cocaine.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Never?
- JRJoe Rogan
Never. Never tried cocaine.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Don't be lying.
- JRJoe Rogan
No, I would not lie.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Never?
- JRJoe Rogan
No, never. No, I got real lucky. When I was in high school, I had a buddy of mine, and his cousin started selling it. And he was a great guy. And I watched this dude kind of, like, shrink into himself, and he lost a ton of weight. And him and his girlfriend just- they had this attic apartment, and they would just hang out and do coke and sell coke, and they would just, like, watch TV and do coke, and it was like-
- FEFelipe Esparza
Wow.
- JRJoe Rogan
It was like they got bit by a vampire, man.
- FEFelipe Esparza
I was af-
- 4:09 – 5:36
Starting standup sober: rehab, library research, and the old hustle of booking guides
- FEFelipe Esparza
I was afraid of cocaine, man, 'cause when I started standup, like, I started standup, like, in '94, '93 at, uh-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- FEFelipe Esparza
... Open Mic, and I was clean. I was sober. I- all the year I was in rehab, and I wanted to be a comedian. So I went to a library to learn about writing, Gene Perette's s-
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, cool.
- FEFelipe Esparza
... Comedy Writing Step-by-Step. Another book called, um, How to Write Funny, Be Funny & Make Money Being Funny, and that was a real great book, bro. I mean, it had, um, comedy clubs, um, locations in the back.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah.
- FEFelipe Esparza
And they had booker numbers, like, to submit your comedy.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, well, remember the Comedy USA Industry Guide?
- FEFelipe Esparza
$100.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- FEFelipe Esparza
P- can you believe that shit?
- JRJoe Rogan
Bro, I remember dudes used to take out full-page ads. That's how you knew they were killing it. When a dude would take out a full-page ad in the Comedy USA Industry Guide, I'm like, "Wow, he's got a full-page ad."
- FEFelipe Esparza
(laughs) I remember, bro, uh, um, when, um, when I was looking for gigs in, like, in 2000, right? And I remember this comedian named Shang and Dante-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- FEFelipe Esparza
... the comedian Dante.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, I remember those guys.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Tho- those guys, um, had a list of- a list, like, a five-page list of comedy bookers names, NACA numbers to call, and the back of the page was, "Shitty bookers to avoid."
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- FEFelipe Esparza
And they used to sell it to the comics for, like, 75 bucks.
- 5:36 – 9:02
Boston’s standup “assassins”: the regional scene that could bury touring headliners
- JRJoe Rogan
Wow. I got lucky that I was in Boston.... and Boston had s- uh, there was... That was like the boom happened in Boston when, like, Steven Wright got on The Tonight Show, everybody found out about Boston. But it was already this, like, crazy comm- There's a great documentary called When Stand-Up Stood Out. Have you seen that?
- FEFelipe Esparza
You had that guy on the show here.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, I've had a few of those guys on the show.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Yes. It was like a Chinese restaurant.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Let me-
- JRJoe Rogan
Don Gavin-
- FEFelipe Esparza
Yes.
- JRJoe Rogan
... who was one of those guys.
- FEFelipe Esparza
The legend.
- JRJoe Rogan
Steve Sweeney. Legends. They... I still say to this day, they're some of the best comics I have ever seen in my life. I've seen them murder harder than anybody I've ever seen in my life, but it was just very regional, very local. And, um, a lot of it didn't translate nationally for some reason. Like, Steve Sweeney, in Boston, in front of a Boston audience, is the funniest guy that's ever lived. And I'm not kidding. I'm not exaggerating. He would get like Boston accents and Boston attitudes, and it would be all a big part of his act. And dude, it was murderous. If you had to follow that, you were fucked. You were fucked, man.
- FEFelipe Esparza
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
And they would do that to dudes from out of town. It was the most ruthless, cruel shit they would do at, at Nick's Comedy Stop. They would take these assassins, these local-
- FEFelipe Esparza
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
... assassins and stack them one after the other. It would be Kenny Rogerson, Don Gavin, Steve Sweeney, and then they'd throw up some headliner. And this poor headliner is used to soft acts on the road. He's used to being known for the guy-
- FEFelipe Esparza
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... who was on television. "Hey, folks, you know. So I'm, uh, Mike, you know, the sitcom." And they'd try to do standup, but just they were getting eaten alive.
- FEFelipe Esparza
He's talking about nuggets.
- JRJoe Rogan
Bro.
- FEFelipe Esparza
The guys, the guys that are up there all coked out.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah, they were-
- FEFelipe Esparza
Working the crowd.
- JRJoe Rogan
Tho- They were wild boys too. They were big, like, football player-sized, wild, crazy drinkers and partiers. And they were funny, man.
- FEFelipe Esparza
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
And so because there was this, like, love of comedy in Boston, they had all these comedy nights all over the place where you could make a living. So you could be like a half-ass comedian, like I was, and you know, you could make 500 bucks a week just hustling, just moving around. That's what we all did. So there was so many places that you could work and so many, like, little booking agents. In like, like n- Western Massachusetts, you'd have to go out there, like, you know, like... There's these weird towns that are like liberal hideouts. You know what I mean?
- FEFelipe Esparza
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like the Univer- Like Amherst, you'd get like Amherst gigs. It was weird, like Amherst, Massachusetts.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Well, the other place that... The other place that you gotta be from there to pronounce it right.
- JRJoe Rogan
Which one is that?
- FEFelipe Esparza
The one is, uh, that l-... That you get for a steak sauce.
- 9:02 – 10:19
Sponsor break: AG1
- JRJoe Rogan
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- FEFelipe Esparza
I had his first comedy album, the one he did with roaring or something.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm. Oh, the one where he did with music in the background?
- FEFelipe Esparza
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
That was great. That's a great album.
- 10:19 – 13:30
Comics who stayed local, huge road acts, and why success attracts hate
- FEFelipe Esparza
There was a place like that, a Boston place, but not in a documentary, but Will Durst-
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm.
- FEFelipe Esparza
He's a San Francisco comedian.
- JRJoe Rogan
Sure.
- FEFelipe Esparza
He had a room like that called The Comedy Zoo or The, The Zoo-
- JRJoe Rogan
Ho- Holy City Zoo, right?
- FEFelipe Esparza
Holy City Zoo.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- FEFelipe Esparza
And there's a comedian that came out of there that's a killer comic and he's still alive, and, um, he opens for me. And he opens for Rob, um, Schneider and Papa and he op-... Uh, he opened up for a lot of people.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Um, Larry "Bubbles" Brown.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, cool.
- FEFelipe Esparza
And he's a old school guy. After every joke, he goes, "Mer, mer." But he did the Lette- he did Letterman in 1992. And then, um, he did it again in 2006.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm.
- FEFelipe Esparza
So he has a record for doing Letterman between 30 years.
- JRJoe Rogan
Wow.
- FEFelipe Esparza
But he's one of those comedians that's like never left San Francisco.
- JRJoe Rogan
There's a few of those guys that got trapped like that.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Yes. Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
That were like really good guys. Remember that one guy in Chicago? Fuck, what was his... Larry, Larry Reeb?
- FEFelipe Esparza
Larry Reeb.
- JRJoe Rogan
Remember Larry Reeb? He was a guy like that. Like a really solid national act, but he was so Chicago, he kind of stayed around there mostly.
- FEFelipe Esparza
And then they-
- JRJoe Rogan
But it was like every now and... You find towns like that where you have like one murderer that lived in the town.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Bob Marley in New England.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. Yes, oh, Maine.
- FEFelipe Esparza
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
Bob Marley is the murderer of Maine.
- FEFelipe Esparza
They say that...
- JRJoe Rogan
And Robert Schimmel was Arizona.
- 13:30 – 22:21
Puppets, props, and Holtzman: stage personas that are ‘possessed’
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, that's the dice thing.
- FEFelipe Esparza
(laughs) Yeah. Right? Just like the guy with the... They used to have that puppet in New York.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, Otto and George.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Yeah. Uh, Ray Giraldo, when I opened for him back in the day, um, back in Addison Improv, he told me that, um, he would say the nastiest shit to that puppet-
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- FEFelipe Esparza
... and this lady threw a... Threw shit at the puppet, but not at, uh, Otto. (laughs)
- NANarrator
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
Bro, we were talking about it Tuesday night in the green room. We were talking about how that puppet was kind of possessed, and I'm not even bullshitting. You know, Otto was out there.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Otto was out there. I mean, he was out there. Everybody... Uh, I mean, that dude partied. He went hard. And he was a genius comedian. But he would get rides to gigs and say, "Pull over. I gotta check on George." And he would... In the fucking side of the highway, he would pull over, pop the trunk, and check on the dummy.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Wow. His buddy.
- JRJoe Rogan
Weird, man.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Weird, man.
- JRJoe Rogan
Weird. Someone-
- FEFelipe Esparza
Whoa. There he is. (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
Bro, someone stabbed that dummy once-
- FEFelipe Esparza
Yeah?
- JRJoe Rogan
... at Dangerfield's. Some Puerto Rican guy who said... The dummy was saying Puerto Rican jokes to this guy-
- NANarrator
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
... and the guy fucking stabbed the dummy. Stabbed the dummy.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Was it, was it, was it a knife or a sharp bedspring?
- JRJoe Rogan
A fucking knife.
- NANarrator
(laughs)
- FEFelipe Esparza
Or a sharp bedspring, bro?
- NANarrator
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
Something. Anything. Whatever you got that you polish down to a point.
- FEFelipe Esparza
You ever watch the, The Fabulous Mrs. Maisel?
- JRJoe Rogan
What's that?
- FEFelipe Esparza
The Fabulous Mrs. Maisel is about a female comic growing up in the 1950s on Amazon.
- JRJoe Rogan
No.
- 22:21 – 25:43
Bad club advice, identity ‘schemes,’ and finding your own voice (plus suit talk)
- JRJoe Rogan
... and then whatever the fuck his name is when he's on stage. It's almost like he needs a second name. Mitzi should have done that a long time ago. Mitzi used to call Joey Fat Baby. Do you remember those days?
- FEFelipe Esparza
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs) Someone... someone has one of the lineups that they got from Jeff Scott in, uh, on the lineup. It's got g- everybody's name and then, you know, 15 minutes, and then it says Fat Baby.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Fat Baby.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs) She wanted him to be called Fat Baby.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Weird advice sometimes, man, the managers give you at the clubs.
- JRJoe Rogan
Terrible advice. You can't listen to any of them. (laughs) I've never had-
- FEFelipe Esparza
I know, man.
- JRJoe Rogan
... one good advice.
- FEFelipe Esparza
I, I was bummed out one time 'cause, you know, he has to go back and forth, back and forth till they make you a regular.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm.
- FEFelipe Esparza
And I was trying at the Laugh Factory. And one time, Jay Masala, he told me, "I don't see you making it, man, for another six to eight years."
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, boy.
- FEFelipe Esparza
And then when I finally got Last Comic Standing, I looked at him, I said, "You're... Jamie, your advice was full of shit."
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- FEFelipe Esparza
It took fucking 12. It took 12, not six. But I was bummed out when he told me that. I was like bummed down. You know when you get bummed down, like, you realize you're putting all this work in and like, you know, you can't be a regular here, so you gotta go back to these other rooms. F- um, I talked to Brad Williams and, um, he said, um, "Fuck that advice, bro." You know what he told me? He said... He told me that I should get all the little people I can find in Hollywood, all of them, all the little midgets, all the little p- little persons, and, um, bring them to the Laugh Factory. And Jamie said, "You're gonna have the biggest little person show in all of Hollywood." That was his advice for Brad. So then I thought I was, I was not feeling so bad after that. Then I talked to Alonzo Bodden, and he told Alonzo Bodden that he should put on shoulder pads and be a football comic. (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
So Joe, after hearing that- Oh. ... I don't wanna cry anymore. (laughs) Oh, my God. He had some terrible advice. I think it was... He was giving advi-... I think it was... He was giving this advice to Todd Parker. He was telling him... It was either Todd Parker or Robbie Prince, two guys that I knew from Boston. One of them, he was telling him... I think it's Todd, "You've got to be generation X guy." What? "This is what you're going to be, buddy. You're going to be generation X guy. So from generation X, this is how I see the world, buddy." (laughs) Like, everything was as a generat- generation X guy. Like, he was like... That's the worst advice I've ever heard in my life. Like, why would I do that? But people would have, like, schemes for you. But the thing is, though, they, they're just trying to help. Yeah. But the th- The... No one knows how to do it other than you, and you got to figure it out. You're kind of a- No one can tell you. Yeah, and they're, like, outdated, too. Like, who would've told Mitch Hedberg, "Wear sunglasses and sometimes turn your back to the crowd"? No one. No one. Mitch Hedberg would be killing with his back to the crowd, high on heroin. All non-sequiturs for, like, an hour and a half. Did he have stage fright? He was just crazy, you know? Brilliant. You worked with him? You met him? I met him. I didn't know him well, but I... You know, I knew him e- enough that i- it was a bummer when, when he died, I, I remember I was with Stan Hope, we were filming something and, um, we found out that he had gangrene. He got admitted to a hospital. Oh. He had gangrene. You're like, "Yo, gangrene fucking kills people." Like, this is fucking
- 25:43 – 30:55
Heroin, comedy losses, and the Hendrix murder theory (plus BetterHelp)
- JRJoe Rogan
scary. And, you know, he just had a problem. He just liked that heroin. And he didn't want to stop. Like, people wanted to clean him up. He did not want to get cleaned up. He's like, "I am not interested." I did heroin one time, but I didn't shoot up. I just smoked it, but I was in Amsterdam. Dude, it doesn't seem like anybody has a great old time with the rest of their life once they start doing heroin. Yeah. It just... (laughs) It's like cocaine. It's the same thing. It's like... I think there's probably moments of brilliance that have come out of heroin, though. I, I, I definitely do when I think about 1960s music. I think heroin and LSD affected a lot of rock and roll in the 1960s. And cannabis for sure, too, and probably mushrooms. But, you know i- the, the thing that... It always kills you. Like, everybody always... It always ruins everything. They all died young. Everybody, like, put Morrison, 27, Hendrix, 27. Although there is a wild conspiracy about Hendrix. Yeah? Yeah. What'd you hear? That he was killed by his manager. Hmm. The conspiracy, there's... So there was one of his bodyguards, right? Is that what it was, Jamie, that wrote this book? How did he die? He c- I think he died of as- asphyxiation from throwing up, you know, which is one thing that can happen to people that are doing drugs. But the, uh, bodyguard, I th- I believe this, don't hold me to this, but I believe the story was Hendrix was gonna leave his manager. His manager was mobbed up. His manager was, like, a scary guy. And his manager was making a lot of money with Hendrix. Hendrix was trying to leave, and, uh, he's got the rights to the Hendrix catalog and he kills Hendrix, so his former roadie. So the thing that's compelling about this is shortly after this, his, uh, girlfriend- His name was Tappy. ... committed "suicide," air quotes, by being thrown off a roof. (whistles) So they got rid of Hendrix and they got rid of his girlfriend, if that's what really happened. So the... He was the benefactor, allegedly, of the guitarist's $2 million life insurance policy. Hmm. $2 million. Okay, worth around 1.2 million in 1970. Uh, according to Wright, Jeffrey told him about the crime in 1971, a year after the 27-year-old Hendrix was found dead in a London hotel. He said, "I had to do it, Tappy," Wright claims the manager said. "You understand, don't you? I had to do it. You know damn well what I'm talking about." We went round to his hotel room, got a handful of pills, stuffed them into his mouth, then poured a few bottles of red wine deep into his windpipe. Hendrix was found dead at the Samarkand Hotel on 18th of September 1970. The cause of death was recorded as barbiturate intoxication and inhalation of vomit. "I can still hear the conversation," Wright wrote of Jeffrey's confession. "I see the man I'd known for so much of my life, his face pale, hand clutching at his glass in sudden rage." Hendrix's manager died in a plane crash in '73. So this guy's dead, that supposedly did this. Listen, man, they did that back then. They were gangsters. There was gangsters running everything. If there was a lot of money to be made, d- uh, uh, scary people moved in and it became a real problem. Yeah, man. Gangsters own a lot of stuff that a lot of people wouldn't want to own, like a gay club. And- Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Like, in L- LA, they owned all the gay clubs. They were not raided because they were paying. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. People like to throw around all these red flags. You know, things someone says or does that you don't like, which is fine. But instead of focusing on the negative all the time, why don't we focus on the positive? If you're looking for a romantic partner, think about what traits you like to see in a person. If you like to work out and stay in shape, you might want to find someone who's also health-conscious. Or if you like to travel, you probably want to find someone who's just as adventurous. Now, once you're in a relationship, it's a whole different ballgame and things aren't always going to be perfect, but that's what therapy is for. Therapy is an excellent way to work through any problems, even the small ones. Like, say you and a loved one have been fighting a lot lately, but you still really want to make things work. Therapy can serve as a mediary. It can help you identify the problem and teach you positive ways to address it. If you're new to therapy or want to try something different, BetterHelp is a great place to start. It's convenient and affordable since everything is done online. It's already helped over five million people worldwide connect with a credentialed therapist. Discover your relationship green flags with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/jre to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P, .com/jre.... but if you want to talk about something like that, like, would, would, uh, would a, a manager kill a client for a life insurance policy back then? Yeah.
- FEFelipe Esparza
I read this.
- JRJoe Rogan
They didn't even have DNA back then, man.
- 30:55 – 39:01
Elvis, media monoculture, and the psychology of ‘too famous’
- FEFelipe Esparza
I read this, where I didn't... This, uh, this is, like, crazy, right? My mom didn't like Elvis. She liked the Beatles, right? And I asked my mom, "Why come you don't like fucking Elvis? He's badass too." "Oh, 'cause Elvis said that, 'I'd rather sleep with a... have kids, a dog than a Mexican woman.'" And I said, "When did he say that?" And, and he goes, "He said it." Then I found out later on, when I went in a rabbit hole, ba-ba-ba-bum, it was the Colonel. The Colonel spread that.
- JRJoe Rogan
The Colonel spread that.
- FEFelipe Esparza
'Cause he didn't wanted to... He wanted to keep him in America and not tour, like, anywhere.
- JRJoe Rogan
The Colonel was an evil dude, man.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
That, that... By the way, that Tom Hanks' performance is fucking fantastic. In that Elvis movie? Where he plays the Colonel?
- FEFelipe Esparza
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's, you know, when you see it, like, w- we appreciate how a guy can really, like, become a different person. Like, he becomes this creepy manager guy, this manipulative, gambling, creepy manager guy. I mean, it's fucking genius, man. It's so good. Like, you really... You, like, you... That's what's crazy. Like, you forget that's Tom Hanks.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Mm-hmm.
- JRJoe Rogan
You're like, "Oh." But you really got a sense of the relationship that Elvis had with this dude. 'Cause those guys, they get cray-... Look, there's famous and then there's Elvis famous in the 1960s, and you don't even understand what that means.
- FEFelipe Esparza
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
No one understands what that means. And he was the first one to be like that. Imagine that.
- FEFelipe Esparza
I know, man. Imagine walking into a room and just go, "You wanna kiss?" And they kiss.
- JRJoe Rogan
Just imagine just trying to navigate life as a human being, and you're literally the most desired person to be around alive. Like, you can't walk down the street. People scream and they cheer and they run at you. Women faint. They cry. And there's never been someone like that before. That's what's crazy, 'cause this is the first time you've seen a guy on television, and he's on television shaking his hips. And so, they go crazy.
- FEFelipe Esparza
No one's ever done that, huh?
- JRJoe Rogan
No. No. You never had a pop star on TV shaking his hips like he's fucking? Yeah, it was too much, it was-
- FEFelipe Esparza
Did they co-... Did they cover it up the first time?
- JRJoe Rogan
I think they-
- FEFelipe Esparza
On the television show?
- JRJoe Rogan
... they did something where they were upset at him, because they didn't know he was gonna do it. I think it was like... I think he was actually gonna get fined in some places. Like, you weren't allowed to shake your hips like that. Like, this is how crazy being Elvis was.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Badass. There's this one video or picture of Elvis that I like, besides the one you have here, you know, the rested.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Uh, when he's, um, he's playing outside, an outside event, and he's wearing all black, and he's fucking young as hell. Had a pompadour looking good, the blue eyes are shining. He's like-
- JRJoe Rogan
Bro. Bro.
- FEFelipe Esparza
... and everybody's fainting.
- JRJoe Rogan
And there was no Elvis before Elvis. That's what's crazy. So he's like this one guy that becomes way f- more famous than any entertainer ever. And then he's got an evil manager, and then he's doing pills, and then he's just living in paranoia. And the w- the whole world don't make any sense. Nothing makes any sense. It can't make any sense. You have no peers. You have no one around you that's like you, no one around you that can understand you, and you're being protected by some guy who's, like, siphoning money from you.
- FEFelipe Esparza
He was doing shit little gigs, right? Like, he'll leave. He'll do, like, a two-hour show and then leave, go do another two-hour show somewhere else for one day.
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, I think he got into a financial bind, right?
- FEFelipe Esparza
Oh.
- JRJoe Rogan
Isn't... Wasn't that a part of the movie? And then he got that Vegas residency. Bro, the Vegas residency is probably convenient because you don't have to go anywhere. You know, you know where you live, you know where the gig is. Like, Carrot Top seems to like it, but I don't think I could do that.
- 39:01 – 52:15
Sketch comedy’s peak: In Living Color, Chappelle, and freedom vs. ‘nannies’
- FEFelipe Esparza
Fun shows, man. Living Single.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, but In Living Color, to this day-
- FEFelipe Esparza
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... I say is one of th-... It-... Th- there's two of the greatest comedy... Like, Saturday Night Live always gets it for longevity 'cause it's crazy. They've been around so long.
- FEFelipe Esparza
ICTV.
- JRJoe Rogan
But for, like, pure funny, for me it's, like, In Living Color and Chappelle's Show.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Yes.
- JRJoe Rogan
And I feel like you don't get Chappelle's Show unless you have In Living Color first. 'Cause... I feel like it, there... I, I feel like In Living Color broke open the door for chaotic sketches that were, like, really funny, man. Wildly offensive, really fun. I mean, to this day. Like, there's a lot of shit on In Living Color that if you tried to do, like, in the height of wokeness, like three or four years ago-
- FEFelipe Esparza
Yes.
- JRJoe Rogan
... bro, they would fucking call for your censorship. They would-
- FEFelipe Esparza
Yes, man.
- JRJoe Rogan
They would come for you.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Especially with Damon Wayans and David Langrie were doing Man on Film. There was an episode-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yes!
- FEFelipe Esparza
... where, where-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yes, man.
- FEFelipe Esparza
... fucking the camera falls-
- JRJoe Rogan
They gave it two snaps. (laughs)
- FEFelipe Esparza
Yeah. The camera falls on Damon Wayans, and he become heterosexual all of a sudden.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- FEFelipe Esparza
And then, um, David Langrie will touch, touching him. He go, "Man, get your ass away from me, man!"
- JRJoe Rogan
Ah!
- FEFelipe Esparza
That episode.
- JRJoe Rogan
How about when he played Handyman? He played a mentally retarded-
- FEFelipe Esparza
I love that one.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, my God. He played-
- FEFelipe Esparza
That's my favorite movie.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. A handicapped (laughs) superhero.
- FEFelipe Esparza
It was-
- JRJoe Rogan
And they made a, a superhero movie about him. Oh, my God.
- 52:15 – 1:02:56
Everyday toxins rabbit hole: cigars, candles, and PFAS in straws
- FEFelipe Esparza
I was talking to the, your driver, um, um, Rebel about, um, when you gave me that solo pipe.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm.
- FEFelipe Esparza
And then, um, you said you stopped using it because of butane.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- FEFelipe Esparza
And I remember, um, I was telling him that, uh, uh, uh, the reason it's called a solo pipe is 'cause you're supposed to use it by yourself. But I remember when I told everybody you gave it to me, and everybody wanted to hit it.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- FEFelipe Esparza
And by the time I got it back, it was fucking hot.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. I remember those things. I, I try to stay a- well, like, I think if you're smoking a cigar, like, butane is the way to go. You know, you burn the end of it. But you don't wanna, like, keep doing it. You wanna... I feel like a certain amount of this is a chemical, no matter what. Like, that's a chemical. You only want so much of that. You really should probably have matches if you're gonna light- if you're gonna smoke a cigar.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Matches?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, you should really probably have matches. And I think if you're, like, a super cigar nerd, they do it even further. They take cedar and they light cedar strips and they use that to, to light their cigar. Those are super nerds.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Cedar strips? What is that?
- JRJoe Rogan
Cedar strips, dog. Pieces of wood. They light little strips of wood, and they light from pure wood, then they light their cigar. There's super nerds when it comes to cigars.
- FEFelipe Esparza
That's-
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, they get into it.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Oh, that's why that guy said in umbr- um, guys in New York, "Give me some ember."
- JRJoe Rogan
"Give me some ember?"
- FEFelipe Esparza
Ember? Oh, that's, that's the, that's, that em- what is ember? Fire? Oh.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Oh, shit.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, so these guys, they, they take little cedar strips and they light them on fire, and then they light their cigar from the cedar strips. So this way you're not getting any of the butane fumes. I don't even know how much you would get. I don't, you know...
- FEFelipe Esparza
Can I burn your lighter?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, sure. You know how to work it?
- FEFelipe Esparza
No.
- JRJoe Rogan
Put the thing back? We're probably gonna find out that-
- FEFelipe Esparza
Okay.
- JRJoe Rogan
... every time you burn a lighter near you, you inhale, like, 10 times more than you're ever supposed to in your life. (laughs)
- FEFelipe Esparza
Really?
- JRJoe Rogan
We'll, we'll probably find something like that out someday. It can't be so good to have convenient fire. Like, fire that quickly means, like, you've got some funky m- gases that you're burning. You're burning some funky gases in the air.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Oh, horrible. 'Cause I remember when, like, lighting a match and then you get the ugly-ass fume.
- JRJoe Rogan
You know what's real bad?
- 1:02:56 – 1:17:00
Old childhood games, shoplifting stories, and the road-food universe (Buc-ee’s & knockoffs)
- FEFelipe Esparza
That's ... Yeah. They were having a tournament. All the veterans that used to play stickball in New York showed up to play. And these guys were-
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, when you slid on concrete, bro?
- FEFelipe Esparza
Yes, bro. But I never knew the game 'cause in LA we play over-the-line.
- JRJoe Rogan
That's a good way to get a staph infection.
- FEFelipe Esparza
Huh. Look at that, bro.
- JRJoe Rogan
Sliding on concrete, good way. They're getting pumped.
- NANarrator
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
That looks like a guy who plays really good stickball. (laughs)
- FEFelipe Esparza
Terror Squad.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs) Yeah, it's a city thing. Da.
- FEFelipe Esparza
A broomstick, right?
- JRJoe Rogan
When I played it when I lived in Jamaica Plain, which a little place outside of, uh, Boston, we played that. Used to play stickball on the street. Just people get mad at you, they hit their car with a tennis ball. It was stupid. But kids are just always looking for something to do back then. Now they're all online.
- FEFelipe Esparza
I used to play crazy games growing up, bro, that, um, I'm pretty sure kids don't play that anymore. I used to play this game, this game called Huevos, what's it called? Eggs. We used to put like a bunch of holes on the floor with your name on it.
- JRJoe Rogan
Uh-huh.
- FEFelipe Esparza
And then somebody will throw a tennis ball, and whoever the ball lands on that hole, that person has to grab that ball and fuck somebody up in the back before they get it ... make it to the wall. And, um, that person you hit has to grab that ball and then hit people on the way back before they get to the other side of the wall. And if you miss everybody, you get a egg on your, on your little hole. And once you get four of them, we all take turns fucking you up with a tennis ball while you're just standing there like this.
- JRJoe Rogan
Jesus Christ. (laughs)
- FEFelipe Esparza
Yeah, there was no cable back then.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- FEFelipe Esparza
And we didn't wanna join gangs.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs) I think you did.
- FEFelipe Esparza
And we didn't wanna read.
- JRJoe Rogan
I think you guys had a soft core gang.
- FEFelipe Esparza
We didn't have no Boy Scouts.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs) That's a crazy way to make friends.
- FEFelipe Esparza
And we have ... You guys ever play Suicide though?
- JRJoe Rogan
I- I don't remember. How does it go?
- FEFelipe Esparza
It's a handball court, a wall, and you throw a ball. And there's five kids, and you catch it, but if you miss it, everybody starts fucking you up-
- JRJoe Rogan
No, never played that. (laughs)
- FEFelipe Esparza
... 'til you make it to the wall.
- NANarrator
(laughs)
Episode duration: 2:43:26
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Transcript of episode bYFJN50o9LM
