Joe Rogan Experience #2291 - Bert Kreischer

1. 0:00 – 1:30

   Decades of friendship: hugs, honesty, and “be undeniable” mentorship

   1. NANarrator0:00

      (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience.

   2. JRJoe Rogan0:06

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music plays) Joe Rogan, my brother. Good to see you.

   3. BKBert Kreischer0:14

      Thank you, Joe.

   4. JRJoe Rogan0:15

      Always good to see you, my man.

   5. BKBert Kreischer0:15

      It's always good seeing you, man. I, I, I always say, like, uh, you give the best hugs. (laughs)

   6. JRJoe Rogan0:22

      (laughs)

   7. BKBert Kreischer0:22

      Like at the UFC the other night when I saw you?

   8. JRJoe Rogan0:24

      Yeah.

   9. BKBert Kreischer0:24

      And you came up, you just wrap it up. I lo- I love it. I'm a hug guy too.

   10. JRJoe Rogan0:28

       Yeah.

   11. BKBert Kreischer0:28

       I think it shows your emotion.

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:30

       I love a real hug, yeah. A real hug where someone loves you.

   13. BKBert Kreischer0:33

       Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:34

       You know? You know I love you.

   15. BKBert Kreischer0:35

       I...

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:35

       So I give you a love hug.

   17. BKBert Kreischer0:37

       I kn- I know you love me. I know you love me.

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:40

       We've been friends for a long time, brother.

   19. BKBert Kreischer0:42

       I know. I-

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:42

       We really have. It's f- it's, it's nice, like, having friends that you've been friends with for just decades, you know? It's just-

   21. BKBert Kreischer0:49

       I always say, I've, I've said this to y- before about... I always say, you know, like, I never had a brother growing up. And you're, you've always been pretty honest with me, the way a big brother would be, and you've always come from a place of love. I remember the whole reason my whole... I was doing nothing in, fucking nothing, I'm sitting in the backstage of the store with you and you sa- you looked at, you looked just, you go, "Tommy's doing theaters." And I said, "Okay." "And you, you need, you need to be doing theaters." I was like, "Okay." "And you need like, you need a Netflix special. You need to get one." I was like, "All right, Joe, how am I supposed to do that?" And you go, "Be undeniable." And you just walked away. And I fucking was like, that's the kind of mentorship you look for in a friend. That's what, who you wanna be around. Surround yourself with great white sharks and people think you're a great white shark.

2. 1:30 – 4:44

   Escaping the “velvet prison”: leaving TV comfort to focus on stand-up

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:30

      Well, you were always really fun and really funny but you were always doing these travel channel shows.

   2. BKBert Kreischer1:36

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:36

      And this is what drove me crazy. I remember the day. We've talked about it before, but I remember the day. I was in the Comedy Store and I was calling you from the main room and you were on a motorcycle in Vietnam. (laughs)

   4. BKBert Kreischer1:49

      (laughs)

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:50

      And I think you were drunk. And, uh-

   6. BKBert Kreischer1:52

      I was drunk and high. (laughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:54

      (laughs)

   8. BKBert Kreischer1:54

      Two things you're not supposed to be on a motorcycle: no helmet, in flip-flops. (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan2:00

      (laughs) Which is, by the way, it's a fun way to catch somebody. When you call someone and you're gonna go on stage in, like, 20 minutes. "I'm just checking in on you, see what's going on," and you were on a fucking motorcycle in Vietnam and laughing. But then I was like, "Dude, you really need to dedicate yourself to standup. Like, this is a trap. It's a velvet prison."

   10. BKBert Kreischer2:17

       Yeah.

   11. JRJoe Rogan2:17

       "These TV shows are a velvet prison." And when you're on the Travel Channel, you're not even getting... Well, you're making great money, right? But you're not getting I can retire now money.

   12. BKBert Kreischer2:26

       No.

   13. JRJoe Rogan2:27

       There's no fuck you money. It's I can live well money.

   14. BKBert Kreischer2:29

       No.

   15. JRJoe Rogan2:29

       You know? It's a great job, but it's one of those jobs where you, at a certain point in time, you gotta go, "Okay, I have to jump ship." Like, "You know, I can't keep doing this." Like, "This is, uh, this is gonna fuck up everything else I'm doing."

   16. BKBert Kreischer2:42

       It's hard to pull that trigger too, because, like I, like, with, with kids and a family and a house and-

   17. JRJoe Rogan2:46

       Yup, yup, yup.

   18. BKBert Kreischer2:47

       And you go, "Okay, it's not great money, but it's good money."

   19. JRJoe Rogan2:50

       Yeah.

   20. BKBert Kreischer2:50

       And the road was not great money, and I remember you saying, "You need a Netflix special."

   21. JRJoe Rogan2:54

       Yeah.

   22. BKBert Kreischer2:54

       You said, you s- I remember you saying that to me. On that motorcycle, I'm sitting, I s- I pulled out, I had headsets in, I was listening to The Doors, uh, Mag- Magic Caravan, Spanish Caravan.

   23. JRJoe Rogan3:03

       (laughs)

   24. BKBert Kreischer3:03

       And I was flying, I was high, there were oxen on either side of me, the sun was setting, and you were like, "Dude, this is who you are. Fuck that Travel Channel bullshit, get away from it, you need to focus on standup and your podcast."

   25. JRJoe Rogan3:14

       Yeah.

   26. BKBert Kreischer3:14

       And I was like, "Yeah." And you were like, "You're the fucking machine. If you don't talk about this on stage, then you're not doing yourself t- you're doing yourself a disservice."

   27. JRJoe Rogan3:21

       Well, there's certain people that, like, you know their full potential, because when they're with you, they're completely relaxed and y- you know, everyone's just having a great time and you get to see them at their best. And when you're crying laughing, just hanging out talking to a guy, you're like, "This guy's got it. He's just gotta figure out how to get rid of all the other shit in his life and focus on that." 'Cause you were always so fucking funny. And I was like, "How is this guy doing these shows where he's letting people hurt him and all this..."

   28. BKBert Kreischer3:51

       (laughs)

   29. JRJoe Rogan3:51

       Like, when you were doing Hurt Bert, I was like, "What are you doing? Don't get hurt." And then I just, that m- I also, I'd gone through it with Fear Factor. Like, Fear Factor was a great job, don't get me wrong. Very happy that I got it, it was wonderful, it gave me fuck you money. It gave me the ability to do whatever I want after that.

   30. BKBert Kreischer4:09

       Yeah.
3. 4:44 – 10:23

   Lucky as a mindset: gratitude, privilege, and the reality of the global 1%

   1. BKBert Kreischer4:44

      I remember, I remember those times. I remember people saying, 'cause I knew you were, I knew you as Joe the standup. And, and, uh, and I remember people saying, "He does comedy?" And I was like, "No, that's what he does." Like, "He's not an actor, he's not a host, he's a comedian."

   2. JRJoe Rogan4:57

      But that's, uh, understandable, right? Like, my, my standup, I'd only done, (sighs) like by then, I'd only done, like, uh, couple things that were out, that were available. And I was on the hugest show in television. F- Fear Factor was fucking gigantic.

   3. BKBert Kreischer5:12

      It was massive.

   4. JRJoe Rogan5:13

      It was nuts.

   5. BKBert Kreischer5:14

      It was massive. Monday nights.

   6. JRJoe Rogan5:15

      So, yeah. It was a fun job.

   7. BKBert Kreischer5:17

      You know it was a big show when 20 years later you remember the night it was on.

   8. JRJoe Rogan5:20

      But this is what's important: even though it was the number one show in the country, I still had that feeling, like, "I don't wanna really be doing this."

   9. BKBert Kreischer5:27

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan5:27

       I, I'm happy to do it. It's, I, I'm very thankful that I got the job. I, I worked with some amazing people, it was a lot of fun, we had a great crew, really fun time. But I didn't wanna do it. I wanted to do this.

   11. BKBert Kreischer5:38

       Ta-

   12. JRJoe Rogan5:38

       This is what I... I didn't know I wanted to do this 'cause this wasn't a thing, you know?

   13. BKBert Kreischer5:42

       Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan5:42

       But once I figured it out, I was like, "Oh, this is what I wanna do. I wanna do this and standup and the UFC," which is like, to me, it's not even a job. It's like a vacation.

   15. BKBert Kreischer5:50

       It's cra- it's crazy watching you operate in the UFC and seeing that mechanism and to think y- when you started that. Like, how lo- how far that, that path with the UFC has been for you.

   16. JRJoe Rogan6:01

       Oh, for me it was '97.

   17. BKBert Kreischer6:02

       I know, but walking in-

   18. JRJoe Rogan6:03

       Yeah.

   19. BKBert Kreischer6:03

       ... through the other day and I was like, "Oh, this has been Joe's life for fucking 26 years."

   20. JRJoe Rogan6:09

       Well, you know-If you want... If you're a person who's a martial artist and you're a fan of martial arts, if you get a job to do that, like, if you get a job to talk about martial arts and to express your love for it and your appreciation for the athletes, appreciation for the fighters and what they have to go through to get to where they're at, and the, the magnitude of their accomplishments, and to put words to that, like, to do, to be able to do that for a living, that's an honor. That's how I feel.

   21. BKBert Kreischer6:37

       Oh, yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan6:37

       It's like, it's an honor. It's an honor. And I, I feel like I do a good job at it. And so... And I like doing it, and I'm super passionate about it, and I don't do it because it's a job. I do it because I love it. Like, I don't need to do it. I could have quit a long time ago. It does... Like, I could just watch it. Like, we're doing a fight companion this weekend. It's gonna be fun.

   23. BKBert Kreischer6:56

       Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan6:56

       We're gonna hang out. What are you doing Saturday?

   25. BKBert Kreischer6:58

       I don't know. Oh, I'm in Vegas.

   26. JRJoe Rogan7:00

       Are you really?

   27. BKBert Kreischer7:01

       I have two shows in Vegas this weekend.

   28. JRJoe Rogan7:02

       Oh, nice.

   29. BKBert Kreischer7:02

       At Resorts World Theater.

   30. JRJoe Rogan7:03

       Nice.
4. 10:23 – 13:58

   Luck + work: why hustling makes you ‘luckier’

   1. BKBert Kreischer10:23

      I always think luck is, uh, a perspective.

   2. JRJoe Rogan10:26

      You work hard, dude. You, you, you're not just lucky. You work hard. You work real hard. You're, you're always touring. You're always doing things. You're always putting together new shit. You're always working. You're always hustling. Like, it's not just luck. It's luck plus, you know, you love to party, but you also have a great work ethic. And that's very, very important, man. It's like-

   3. BKBert Kreischer10:46

      Yeah.

   4. JRJoe Rogan10:47

      ... you can't just be lucky. Lucky is huge. You gotta get lucky. But also, if you work really hard, you tend to get luckier, especially if you're smart and if you're willing to take risks. Like, for you, the Travel Channel thing, that was a risk.

   5. BKBert Kreischer10:59

      Yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan10:59

      Like, you had to... You had to listen to your friends and you had to go, "You know what? They're fucking right. Everybody else is cooking right now. And my standup's kind of stalled out because I'm doing this TV show." And again, it's coming from someone who was there. I... And, and I'm telling you that if you're making millions and you still feel that way, versus if you're making thousands and you still feel that way-

   7. BKBert Kreischer11:20

      Yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan11:20

      ... you gotta trust me. There's another way to get through this, and the, the other way we found. We got... You know, we were right.

   9. BKBert Kreischer11:27

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan11:28

       Look, we fucking saw light at the end of the tunnel.

   11. BKBert Kreischer11:30

       (laughs)

   12. JRJoe Rogan11:30

       We were like, "This is the way to go." And we were right.

   13. BKBert Kreischer11:33

       I... I remember you telling all of us, "You guys need a podcast." And I remember saying to Tom, "He's out of his mind. Why don't we just do his?" (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan11:38

       Yeah. No, everybody thought I was out of my mind for even doing mine. Like, people mocked me openly. Like, Howard Stern famously mocked all people that were doing podcasts. "You're, you're wasting your time."

   15. BKBert Kreischer11:48

       I remember that.

   16. JRJoe Rogan11:48

       But in his mind, that was correct because he didn't, he didn't have this... He wasn't an internet kid, you know? I'm not an internet kid, but, you know, I used, I used to build my own computers in the '90s. I used to go to Fry's Electronics-

   17. BKBert Kreischer12:03

       Whoa.

   18. JRJoe Rogan12:03

       ... and get motherboards and hard drives and... Yeah. My friend Andrew used to help me over the phone. I'd call him. He's a, like a wizard tech guy. And so...... like, I had bought all these, like, high-end gaming computers and upgraded the video cards, and I was on all these, like, c- crazy websites. We'd send each other, like, you know, those were the two girls, one cup days.

   19. BKBert Kreischer12:27

       (laughs)

   20. JRJoe Rogan12:27

       Like, so I was pretty plugged in.

   21. BKBert Kreischer12:29

       What was the guy? Mr. Smiles or something?

   22. JRJoe Rogan12:30

       Uh, Mr. Hands.

   23. BKBert Kreischer12:31

       Mr. Hands. Okay, keep going. (laughs)

   24. JRJoe Rogan12:33

       So there was... I was pretty plugged into the idea that the internet was something that people were finding stuff that just wasn't available anywhere else. I got all these, like, crazy lectures, these Alan Watts lectures that I downloaded. I'm like, "This is nuts." That's back when you had to download stuff and then you had to upload it to an AirPod. Remember your AirPods with the wheel?

   25. BKBert Kreischer12:55

       Oh, yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan12:55

       Those were the shit.

   27. BKBert Kreischer12:57

       Oh, I remember that.

   28. JRJoe Rogan12:58

       Like clickety-click, clickety-click.

   29. BKBert Kreischer12:59

       (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan12:59

       Yeah, the little wheel that would spin around.
5. 13:58 – 20:05

   Podcasting before it was cool: early internet culture and audio rabbit holes

   1. BKBert Kreischer13:58

      Yeah. Phil Hendrie, I think had a show.

   2. JRJoe Rogan14:00

      Yeah.

   3. BKBert Kreischer14:00

      Do you remember Phil?

   4. JRJoe Rogan14:00

      He had a different show.

   5. BKBert Kreischer14:01

      Oh, yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan14:01

      Phil Hendrie was the AM guy.

   7. BKBert Kreischer14:03

      He was... I, that, that was the greatest, one of the greatest-

   8. JRJoe Rogan14:05

      That was the greatest show.

   9. BKBert Kreischer14:05

      ... goddamn shows in the world.

   10. JRJoe Rogan14:06

       It's one of the greatest shows of all time. And he's a super nice guy. I met him once in Montreal. So for people who don't know, Phil Hendrie, he's the caller and he's the answerer. He does different voices.

   11. BKBert Kreischer14:18

       I mean, genius.

   12. JRJoe Rogan14:18

       And he m- he gets people so angry, 'cause the callers will say the dumbest fucking shit.

   13. BKBert Kreischer14:24

       (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan14:24

       And then you'll have actual people calling in to argue with the caller. (laughs)

   15. BKBert Kreischer14:28

       (laughs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan14:28

       Who's all Phil Hendrie.

   17. BKBert Kreischer14:30

       Yeah. I remember I was sitting next to my dad's bed. My dad's in his underwear, and he's got his alarm clock, and we're listening to it. My dad's just like this, and my ba- and I go, "Buddy, he's both of them." I was like, "What?" And he goes, "This is all him."

   18. JRJoe Rogan14:42

       Yeah.

   19. BKBert Kreischer14:43

       And I was... And you're just like, "Whoa." I mean, it was so ahead of its time.

   20. JRJoe Rogan14:45

       So ahead of its time. And once you're in on the joke, it was amazing.

   21. BKBert Kreischer14:48

       Oh, it was amazing.

   22. JRJoe Rogan14:49

       If I was coming home from the store, I'd alwa- I j- it was Phil Hendrie or Art Bell.

   23. BKBert Kreischer14:54

       Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan14:54

       That's what I listened to.

   25. BKBert Kreischer14:55

       God.

   26. JRJoe Rogan14:56

       The old days. So Art Bell was my favorite, because he-

   27. BKBert Kreischer14:59

       Who was Art Bell?

   28. JRJoe Rogan15:00

       Art Bell was coast to coast with Art Bell from the Kingdom of Nigh. He was broadcasting from a fucking bunker in the middle of the s- the Nevada desert. He was in, he, like had, like this crazy radio tower outside of his house in the Nevada desert, and he would have... He would take calls from time travelers, werewolves, people that are coming from another dimension.

   29. BKBert Kreischer15:24

       (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan15:24

       Like, it was the nuttiest fucking show. For real, like, one of my greatest career accomplishments that, like, made me the most happy was I got on The Art Bell Show. And I got on it-
6. 20:05 – 26:31

   Radio legends and censorship: Phil Hendrie, Art Bell, Howard Stern, and forbidden words

   1. BKBert Kreischer20:05

      It- it even gets trickier. Like, there was a video I was cutting to promote my, uh, tour or whatever, and it's me on a b- or by The Special, and it's me on a, uh, boat, and there's this, there's this, uh, page I'm really obsessed with. It's- it's Fat N-word Season.

   2. JRJoe Rogan20:19

      (laughs)

   3. BKBert Kreischer20:20

      Joe, it's so addictive. (laughs) 'Cause it's- and it's just- it's all AI, and I think they're promoting a crypto coin. (laughs)

   4. JRJoe Rogan20:27

      Of course.

   5. BKBert Kreischer20:27

      And I was like- and I didn't like the edit, so I go, "Hey, put Fat N-word Summer, play that song." And it's fucking so much funnier, Joe-

   6. JRJoe Rogan20:36

      (laughs) .

   7. BKBert Kreischer20:36

      ... with- it's so much funnier with me shirtless on a boat. Ah. But these guys are great. But I p- I- s- k- I- my wife saw it. She was like, "That's offensive." I was like, "No," I was like-

   8. JRJoe Rogan20:45

      And she's right.

   9. BKBert Kreischer20:46

      Yeah. And then I sent it to Tommy. I go, "Is this racist?" And he was like-

   10. JRJoe Rogan20:50

       (laughs)

   11. BKBert Kreischer20:50

       ... "You sent it to the wrong guy."

   12. JRJoe Rogan20:53

       (laughs)

   13. BKBert Kreischer20:54

       All T- (laughs) all Tom sends me is videos (laughs) of fat Black chicks on rope swings.

   14. JRJoe Rogan21:02

       (laughs) (clapping hands on legs)

   15. BKBert Kreischer21:03

       Our whole thread is just any time a chick takes an L off a cliff.

   16. JRJoe Rogan21:08

       That's so ridiculous. God that's- I gotta get on that thread because the ones me and Tommy are on is horrible.

   17. BKBert Kreischer21:11

       What's that one? (laughs)

   18. JRJoe Rogan21:12

       It's all murder.

   19. BKBert Kreischer21:13

       Oh, yeah. That's the other side of his brain.

   20. JRJoe Rogan21:13

       We send each other the mur- mur- murder and- and car accidents. Today was a car accident. It was guys escaping the cops and the guy, uh, flips this van multiple times, gets thrown into traffic and then run over by cars, and it's just splatter fest.

   21. BKBert Kreischer21:27

       I can't watch those. I was telling, uh, I was telling someone, uh, my daught- my niece had my phone, and she's, like, three, and- and you don't- you forget what your algorithm looks like. And sh- it was- and it was- Fat N-word Summer song came on and she's like, "Uncle Bert?" And then the next video was a chick pissing on her past down Steve's head.

   22. JRJoe Rogan21:48

       (laughs)

   23. BKBert Kreischer21:48

       And I was like, "Well, maybe you shouldn't use my phone to- to relax with." (screaming sound)

   24. JRJoe Rogan21:51

       Yeah, my kids know better. Don't let them use my phone.

   25. BKBert Kreischer21:53

       My algorithm is fucked, dude.

   26. JRJoe Rogan21:54

       Yeah. My algorithm's not good.

   27. BKBert Kreischer21:56

       It is fucked. It is-

   28. JRJoe Rogan21:57

       My YouTube algorithm's great.

   29. BKBert Kreischer21:59

       Oh, my YouTube algorithm's all history.

   30. JRJoe Rogan22:02

       A lot of my YouTube algorithm lately has been, um, like, watching people build things.
7. 26:31 – 35:23

   Algorithms, influencer culture, and the dark side of visibility (stalkers & mental health)

   1. BKBert Kreischer26:31

      I always had that, that brain that, you know, I'd see something, like a new addiction come up, like cutting, and I'd go, "I wonder what that does?" Like, I was always looking for something like that, you know?

   2. JRJoe Rogan26:41

      Yeah.

   3. BKBert Kreischer26:41

      Like a, like a ... No, I could never do eating disorder-

   4. JRJoe Rogan26:43

      (laughs)

   5. BKBert Kreischer26:44

      ... that was too tough for me. But, uh, hey, how about when we were at dinner with that guy and, uh, and he, I said to him, "I ran marathons." And he went, "You do?" (laughs)

   6. JRJoe Rogan26:54

      (laughs) That was funny.

   7. BKBert Kreischer26:56

      And he goes, "I, I wasn't trying to be rude."

   8. JRJoe Rogan26:58

      That was funny.

   9. BKBert Kreischer26:59

      (laughs)

   10. JRJoe Rogan26:59

       That was funny. He was definitely trying to be rude.

   11. BKBert Kreischer27:02

       Is- (laughs)

   12. JRJoe Rogan27:02

       But he was being funny.

   13. BKBert Kreischer27:03

       He's fucking awesome.

   14. JRJoe Rogan27:03

       We have- we were talking shit. That's Taylor, Taylor Sheridan.

   15. BKBert Kreischer27:06

       He was awesome, dude.

   16. JRJoe Rogan27:07

       Yeah, I like how you call him that guy.

   17. BKBert Kreischer27:08

       Well, I didn't wanna blow the spot up.

   18. JRJoe Rogan27:09

       Yeah. It's all right, he, I don't know, he's cool as fuck.

   19. BKBert Kreischer27:10

       Dude, he's ... Let me tell you something. I- I'm gonna give props to Taylor Sheridan, and I haven't said this to anyone. I try to keep those moments that, you know, you have with those guys private, so I was a little bit of a party snitch for a while. But like, uh, he's a, uh, he's a great American storyteller.

   20. JRJoe Rogan27:24

       He really is.

   21. BKBert Kreischer27:24

       When he says, when he tells you anything about his life or what he's doing, or breaking, or he went in- he doesn't even call it breaking a horse. I see- he calls it a different term.

   22. JRJoe Rogan27:32

       Mm-hmm.

   23. BKBert Kreischer27:32

       But I'm sitting there going like, this is, I- I mean, and this is gonna be slanderous and a little bit, you know, considering difference of time of where they were, but like, it's like having dinner with Ernest Hemingway. He's created some of the greatest content out there, m- ou- Ou- Yellowstone.

   24. JRJoe Rogan27:46

       You can't compare him to Ernest Hemingway, 'cause Ernest Hemingway is dead, and a legend.

   25. BKBert Kreischer27:50

       N- well, yeah. Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan27:50

       That's the problem.

   27. BKBert Kreischer27:51

       Okay.

   28. JRJoe Rogan27:51

       But he's amazing.

   29. BKBert Kreischer27:52

       But amazing.

   30. JRJoe Rogan27:53

       Yeah. You ever see that Hell or High Water? You ever see that film?
8. 35:23 – 40:01

   Taylor Sheridan praise, standout films, and the Oscars’ shifting standards

   1. BKBert Kreischer35:23

      No, you don't get Jaws.

   2. JRJoe Rogan35:23

      You gotta get all Italian if you want The Godfather, right?

   3. BKBert Kreischer35:26

      Star Wars. Think about, think about who were the Oscar winners when we were kids.

   4. JRJoe Rogan35:29

      Yeah.

   5. BKBert Kreischer35:30

      Were all fucking banger movies that everyone saw.

   6. JRJoe Rogan35:32

      Right.

   7. BKBert Kreischer35:32

      That everyone saw. Best Picture won Best Picture because it was-

   8. JRJoe Rogan35:35

      Right.

   9. BKBert Kreischer35:35

      ... Best Picture, not because it was the best picture about a, a trans social worker-

   10. JRJoe Rogan35:40

       Right, right, right.

   11. BKBert Kreischer35:40

       ... that got abducted in 20th century.

   12. JRJoe Rogan35:41

       Yeah, exactly, exactly. Yeah, like, they got distorted. They get distorted with what the job is. The job is just to purely entertain people and i- with a great piece of work. That's all it is. That's the whole job. And that could be Pulp Fiction. Uh, you know, there's no message in Pulp Fiction. (laughs)

   13. BKBert Kreischer35:57

       There's none. (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan35:58

       Just like it's fucking chaos, and it's amazing.

   15. BKBert Kreischer36:01

       The message we took away was that white guys could say the N-word. (laughs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan36:05

       I guess.

   17. BKBert Kreischer36:06

       We were like, we were like, "All right."

   18. JRJoe Rogan36:06

       Quentin Tarantino, as long as you have a gun in your hand, you can do it. But the whole movie is just madness. But it's amazing. It's, you can't deny how great it is. Like, that's supposed to be what the best movie is.

   19. BKBert Kreischer36:21

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan36:21

       It's not supposed to be... So I don't even know if that won Best Film. Did it win Best Film?

   21. BKBert Kreischer36:26

       No.

   22. JRJoe Rogan36:26

       Did Pulp Fiction win Best Picture?

   23. GCGuest (secondary, off-mic contributor)36:27

       No, but I think he won Best Director and Best... Uh, maybe not for that though.

   24. JRJoe Rogan36:31

       It should've won best picture.

   25. BKBert Kreischer36:32

       Him and Roger Avery together were fucking-

   26. JRJoe Rogan36:34

       Who the fuck won best picture?

   27. BKBert Kreischer36:35

       ... gangsters.

   28. GCGuest (secondary, off-mic contributor)36:36

       That was a really good w- year.

   29. JRJoe Rogan36:37

       Oh, that's right. We actually talked about that on the podcast.

   30. GCGuest (secondary, off-mic contributor)36:40

       I think it was actually Unforgiven that year, but I'm gonna make sure.
9. 40:01 – 48:46

   Game show fairness and pre-internet scams: Quiz Show rigging and Fear Factor rules

   1. BKBert Kreischer40:01

      Did he really?

   2. JRJoe Rogan40:02

      (laughs) Yeah. You know how bold you have to be to be a gangster in South Boston and not just win the lottery once-

   3. BKBert Kreischer40:08

      (laughs)

   4. JRJoe Rogan40:09

      ... but win the lottery twice? Like, see if you can find that.

   5. BKBert Kreischer40:12

      (laughs) How does... Wait, h- how do you rig the numbers that big?

   6. JRJoe Rogan40:16

      Hey...

   7. BKBert Kreischer40:17

      That's crazy.

   8. JRJoe Rogan40:18

      How did you get away with it? You can- you can kind of get away with stuff before the internet. Before the internet, you could get away with things like that.

   9. BKBert Kreischer40:24

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan40:24

       Where you could kind of rig the lottery a couple of times and everybody's like, "Whitey won again? What the fuck?"

   11. BKBert Kreischer40:29

       (laughs)

   12. JRJoe Rogan40:31

       (laughs)

   13. BKBert Kreischer40:31

       Oh, that's great.

   14. JRJoe Rogan40:33

       When I was a kid and, uh, I was living in Boston, I used to teach one of his hit men. I taught one of his hit man taekwondo.

   15. BKBert Kreischer40:42

       Oh, w- what's it like teaching a hit man? D- do they-

   16. JRJoe Rogan40:44

       It was weird.

   17. BKBert Kreischer40:45

       Are they good students?

   18. JRJoe Rogan40:46

       Yeah, he was very s- very disciplined. Yeah. He was like a known, he was a known guy in the- the South Boston Irish mob. And he wanted to learn how to fight. Uh, lottery winner, had been one of Bulger's brilliant schemes to launder his drug extortion loan-sharking money back in the summer... Which makes sense, right? What better way to... "Why do I ye- why do you have a Cadillac?" "Uh, I won the fucking lottery."

   19. BKBert Kreischer41:11

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan41:11

       "Oh, we're clear, so you can have all your shit." So, uh, Bu- um, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, Millions lottery ticket had been purchased at the South Boston Liquor Mart by Michael Lynskey, who was the brother of a Bulger underling named Patrick Lynskey. The FBI learned that once Whitey heard about the jackpot, he ordered the real winner to sign the ticket over, with Whitey and two associates paying $2.3 million in cash for 50% of the winnings. Bulger himself paid La- uh, Lynskey $700,000, although Lynskey lost money in the deal. He really had no choice. He came down to selling the ticket or risking his life. Kevin Weeks, whose name also appeared on the winning lottery... uh, the winning ticket, later claimed that Lynskey purchased a large batch of tickets to hand out as Christmas gifts and promised to split any winnings with Bulger and Weeks. But Weeks' story makes little sense. The so-called Christmas gifts were purchased during the dog days of summer. Um, so they did it. The scam set up a 20-year legitimate income stream for Whitey where he earned $119,000 each year.

   21. BKBert Kreischer42:13

       Oh, wow.

   22. JRJoe Rogan42:14

       Yeah.

   23. BKBert Kreischer42:14

       That's brilliant.

   24. JRJoe Rogan42:15

       Yeah. The- So, that's what he did. He found out that somebody won it. He's totally tuned into the neighborhood. Find that guy, fuck him over, take his ticket. "Look, I won the lottery."

   25. BKBert Kreischer42:24

       And you have no choice. It's just like-

   26. JRJoe Rogan42:25

       You have no choice.

   27. BKBert Kreischer42:26

       It's like when the guy hit Gotti's, uh, grandson with a car.

   28. JRJoe Rogan42:29

       Right.

   29. BKBert Kreischer42:30

       And-

   30. JRJoe Rogan42:30

       Yeah, "You're dead."
10. 48:46 – 1:01:17

    Boston mob stories: Whitey Bulger lottery laundering and training dangerous people

    1. JRJoe Rogan48:46

       Oh, I've had, I've had a lot. My last one was just a couple years ago. Skiing, last time skiing.

    2. BKBert Kreischer48:51

       You were j- I tauc- I just talked to you the other day-

    3. JRJoe Rogan48:52

       Yeah.

    4. BKBert Kreischer48:52

       ... when you were skiing. And I s-

    5. JRJoe Rogan48:54

       Oh.

    6. BKBert Kreischer48:54

       I thought you didn't ski 'cause of your knees.

    7. JRJoe Rogan48:56

       Well, my knee did get ... I did fracture one of the bones in the top of my, uh, tibia. Um, uh, now which one's the f- yeah, tibia and then the fibula's the little one, right?

    8. BKBert Kreischer49:10

       Fibula's in the-

    9. JRJoe Rogan49:11

       Yeah. I cracked-

    10. BKBert Kreischer49:12

        ... the shin, right?

    11. JRJoe Rogan49:12

        I cracked the, the, the tibia. Which, that healed, but the real problem was the head. My head, I fell on my head. I s- my, my skis went up in the air and I hit the ground head-first. Yeah. And it was a-

    12. BKBert Kreischer49:26

        Helmet?

    13. JRJoe Rogan49:27

        Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

    14. BKBert Kreischer49:28

        Yeah.

    15. JRJoe Rogan49:28

        But it was a bang, like, I got rocked. And I was like, "Oh, shit." Like, that was a big one. And then the rest of the day I was, like, dizzy, I was in ... and my balance was all bad.

    16. BKBert Kreischer49:38

        (laughs)

    17. JRJoe Rogan49:38

        It was not good. It was not good. And I, then, uh, I was like, "I'm done with this skiing thing." 'Cause I'd always worried about my knees, 'cause I still ... I, you know, I still love doing martial arts, and if I'm not doing it, I don't feel good. Like, I like to hit the bag, I like to have my joints work perfectly. I like to have my skills still there.

    18. BKBert Kreischer49:57

        Yeah.

    19. JRJoe Rogan49:57

        I like to do it, it's fun to do. So anything that takes that away from me, like, ugh, skiing just for a thrill, like, "Whee."

    20. BKBert Kreischer50:04

        Oh, oh, and once you get hurt, once you break ... I was, we did a, a z- a k- a concrete sled competition in Calgary, or in, uh, Edmonton.

    21. JRJoe Rogan50:12

        Concrete sled?

    22. BKBert Kreischer50:13

        Concrete sled. It's an engineering team, and they have to figure out a way to build a concrete sled that makes it down a mountain with all the team members on it, and stops within the right area.

    23. JRJoe Rogan50:24

        Oh my God.

    24. BKBert Kreischer50:24

        And dude, people get fucked up. I mean, fucked up. And-

    25. JRJoe Rogan50:29

        The concrete sled must be so heavy.

    26. BKBert Kreischer50:31

        I, I ... You can find a picture of it. Just type in, uh, "University of Edmonton concrete sled." Th- I think it's th- that's what it's called. And right before, right before, when they're-

    27. JRJoe Rogan50:42

        This is why people keep themselves occupied when they're so fucking bored, 'cause it's 38 degrees below zero outside. (laughs)

    28. BKBert Kreischer50:48

        Yeah. Yeah. And dude, that's the coldest I've ever been. My fingers-

    29. JRJoe Rogan50:51

        Bro, Edmonton's rough.

    30. BKBert Kreischer50:51

        Yeah, see those concrete sleds? There's one there where the guys get fucked up so bad.
11. 1:01:17 – 1:08:03

    Concussions, injuries, and sleep fixes: skiing wipeouts, mouth tape, deviated septums, and hernias

    1. BKBert Kreischer1:01:17

       That's what happened to me. I got, I got pretty much addicted to them, because I fell off that waterfall.

    2. JRJoe Rogan1:01:22

       They, they fucking get everybody, bro.

    3. BKBert Kreischer1:01:24

       Dude, they get you.

    4. JRJoe Rogan1:01:24

       They get everybody.

    5. BKBert Kreischer1:01:25

       It's, it's, I, I can tell you the moment it happened, was we had to go to dinner with my wife's friends and I didn't want to go, and we weren't drinking. And I remember thinking, "I wonder if I could double up on my pain pills? That'll get me through tonight."

    6. JRJoe Rogan1:01:39

       Whoa.

    7. BKBert Kreischer1:01:40

       And I did, and man, it was an enjoyable fucking night, and I smoked a little weed and I was fucking perfect.

    8. JRJoe Rogan1:01:46

       Yup.

    9. BKBert Kreischer1:01:46

       And the next morning, I woke up and LeeAnn found out, because we were going camping that weekend. And I reached over to get my pills, because that's the first thing I did in bed, grab a pill, pop a pill, lay there for a while. Went over, my pills were gone and LeeAnn was at the foot of the bed, she goes, "You're done, big boy."

    10. JRJoe Rogan1:02:00

        Whoa.

    11. BKBert Kreischer1:02:00

        And I was like, I go, "Hold on." And this is, like, negotiating, like junkie negotiating.

    12. JRJoe Rogan1:02:06

        (laughs)

    13. BKBert Kreischer1:02:06

        I go, "Hold on, baby, we're going camping. Like, we're gonna be s-, up, we're gonna be sleeping on the hard ground." And she goes, "Nope." She goes, "Go, get as much weed as you want, drink as much as you want. Get through the pain that way. These things are fucking poison."

    14. JRJoe Rogan1:02:17

        They're scary.

    15. BKBert Kreischer1:02:17

        They're scary, because you don't even realize what you look like to other people. We went, we went to Hawaii with the family one time, and, uh, and we went to the luau. I wasn't, uh, I wasn't drinking in Hawaii that trip, for whatever reason, and I, but I was bummed at the luau, because I was like, everyone's getting, like, you know, these Mai Tais and I'm drinking water. And I was, and I looked, and this mom was clearly on Oxys. And you watched her nod out at the table.

    16. JRJoe Rogan1:02:43

        Ugh.

    17. BKBert Kreischer1:02:43

        And there's... Man, when you see something like that and you're not drinking-

    18. JRJoe Rogan1:02:47

        Yeah.

    19. BKBert Kreischer1:02:47

        ... you're like, "Thank God I'm not fucking drinking." I remember watching her nod out, and her, her whole family sees it.

    20. JRJoe Rogan1:02:52

        Mm-hmm.

    21. BKBert Kreischer1:02:52

        And you're like, and she's like... (snorts)

    22. JRJoe Rogan1:02:54

        Well, dude, is it, what percentage of this country is hooked on Oxys right now? It's got to be, uh, like a scary percentage.

    23. BKBert Kreischer1:03:02

        I bet it's... What do you think is more, Oxys or Xanax? Xanax is like, Xanax is totally plausible. Take a Xanax, you're gonna be fine. My, my cardiologist, uh, Dr. Gadahn, shout out to G- Dr. Gadahn, he's a big fan of yours. But he told me, he said, I said something about Xanax, and he goes, "Hey, man, I'm your doctor, don't ever fucking take those things." I was like, "Really?" He goes, "This is the leading cause of dementia. Do not take fucking Xanax."

    24. JRJoe Rogan1:03:28

        Xanax is the leading cause of dementia?

    25. BKBert Kreischer1:03:29

        So he told me, he said, he was like... By the way, I apo- apologize. Dr. Gadahn, give you a shout out. And he's like, "That's not my exact words, Bert, goddammit."

    26. JRJoe Rogan1:03:35

        Yeah, you might've fucked that up. We might wanna-

    27. BKBert Kreischer1:03:37

        No-

    28. JRJoe Rogan1:03:37

        ... delete that.

    29. BKBert Kreischer1:03:37

        No, he said, he said your brain, it turns your brain to mush.

    30. JRJoe Rogan1:03:41

        Well, it's definitely not good for your brain, and it's one, one of the most dangerous drugs to get off.

Episode duration: 3:05:32