Joe Rogan Experience #2298 - Kurt Metzger

Kurt Metzger is a stand-up comic, writer, and host of the "Can't Get Right with Kurt Metzger" podcast. His latest special, "30 Minutes with Kurt Metzger," is available on YouTube. https://www.kurtmetzgercomedy.com Get 10% off perfect boots at https://Tecovas.com/Rogan Don’t miss out on all the action - Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/rogan or with my promo code ROGAN. GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit https://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit https://ccpg.org (CT), or visit https://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS).1 per new customer. $5+ first-time bet req. Max. $150 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: https://sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos. Ends 4/13/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK.

Joe RoganhostKurt MetzgerguestGuest (additional, name not specified)guest

Apr 2, 20252h 33mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

150 min read · 30,017 words

0:00 – 1:08
Cold open: nuclear-war jokes and “duck and cover” nostalgia
1. JRJoe Rogan
  (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
2. NANarrator
  The Joe Rogan Experience. (drum music)
3. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (rock music)
4. KMKurt Metzger
  I have these shades, you know why? I'll save this gold, hold on.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  'Cause the future's so bright, you gotta wear shades.
6. KMKurt Metzger
  Oh, uh, nuclear war. The flash, you have 50... No. (laughs)
7. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, yeah, it's good protection. I heard get under the table as well.
8. KMKurt Metzger
  (laughs)
9. JRJoe Rogan
  You remember that in high school? They, did they do that in your high school? You're younger than me.
10. KMKurt Metzger
  No, they, okay, yeah, so I'm '47.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  They used to tell us, "Get under the..." I was, I'm 10 years older.
12. KMKurt Metzger
  Yeah, my parents, they did that too. Oh, yeah.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, they told you, "Get under the table." Like, what? (laughs)
14. KMKurt Metzger
  They did that surprisingly long. (laughs)
15. JRJoe Rogan
  It's like a mask for COVID. It's basically the same thing. Like-
16. KMKurt Metzger
  Yeah.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  ... that is not working. Getting under the table is so dumb. Like it's a fucking nuclear blast that annihilates buildings. You're saying get under my stupid desk with the clamshell?
18. KMKurt Metzger
  It's-
19. JRJoe Rogan
  Remember those desks with the clamshell?
20. KMKurt Metzger
  It's the only shot... Yeah, that's from my first desk I had-
21. JRJoe Rogan
  They kept the books in there?
22. KMKurt Metzger
  ... as a kid. We... It's the only shot we got.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
24. KMKurt Metzger
  Now, I saw Indiana Jones get in a fridge on that-
25. JRJoe Rogan
  (sighs)
26. KMKurt Metzger
  ... on the...
27. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, that was a good move.
28. KMKurt Metzger
  Where was he, at Trinity? I don't know. (laughs) He's, he's like a nuclear test and he got in a fridge.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  What the fuck?
30. KMKurt Metzger
  So, they really made them things back then, you know?
1:08 – 2:09
Manhattan Project awe, nuclear testing fallout, and the John Wayne cancer story
1. KMKurt Metzger
  (laughs)
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Can you imagine being those guys in, like, the Manhattan Project when they first do it? When they first detonate it and they're like, "What in the holy fuck?"
3. KMKurt Metzger
  Yeah, well they kinda didn't know what was gonna happen, right?
4. JRJoe Rogan
  They didn't know. There was a less than zero chance that it would burn up the entire atmosphere of the Earth instantaneously and all life would be over.
5. KMKurt Metzger
  Well, it's a chance we've got to take.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  They took it.
7. KMKurt Metzger
  (laughs)
8. JRJoe Rogan
  They just took it.
9. KMKurt Metzger
  Yeah, hey-
10. JRJoe Rogan
  I wonder if it was bigger than they thought it was. Like, I wonder what... So like, no one had ever seen a nuclear explosion before those people did. I wonder if-
11. KMKurt Metzger
  Were they too close?
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, they definitely weren't really far away, right?
13. KMKurt Metzger
  I know a few of them that people were too close.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  They're watching from a... Well, they're, you know, the real problem is the area where they did it is radioactive forever. Like, they, they did a bunch of these tests-
15. KMKurt Metzger
  Yeah.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  ... out in the desert and then John Wayne and his crew went out there and all got cancer.
17. KMKurt Metzger
  John Genghis Khan.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, exactly.
19. KMKurt Metzger
  Oh, my voice is back.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Genghis Khan.
21. KMKurt Metzger
  Genghis Khan.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, which is a terrible movie. (laughs)
23. KMKurt Metzger
  And they didn't know what killed... I, it's one of the most amazing-
24. JRJoe Rogan
  It's-
25. KMKurt Metzger
  'Cause it's cursed from the gate.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
27. KMKurt Metzger
  And, uh-
28. JRJoe Rogan
  It was probably cursed by Genghis Khan.
29. KMKurt Metzger
  I'm, I hope it was.
2:09 – 3:44
Hollywood historical revisionism: Genghis Khan casting, Cleopatra debates, and “identifying” with roles
1. JRJoe Rogan
  And if you're gonna make a bullshit version of one of the most fascinating human beings that has ever lived, a bullshit version of their life, it would be a John Wayne movie from the 1960s.
2. KMKurt Metzger
  It's, I look at it-
3. JRJoe Rogan
  Was it even the '60s? Was it the '50s?
4. KMKurt Metzger
  Is that the original, um, uh, like, uh-
5. JRJoe Rogan
  Whitewashed movie?
6. KMKurt Metzger
  Well, not whit-
7. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
8. KMKurt Metzger
  No, no. Not whitewashed. Uh, but the, like, uh, you know Jada Pinkett Smith made Cleopatra where it's like Cleopatra's Black and on Netflix. And it was like, it was like she clearly sees Pia- Cleopatra as her-
9. JRJoe Rogan
  Hm.
10. KMKurt Metzger
  ... and it's like a suck up to herself. And John Wayne, I'm sure, was thinking that with Genghis Khan.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  Genghis Khan was '65.
12. KMKurt Metzger
  Yeah, so that's like Jada Pink-
13. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, it says '56, The Conqueror.
14. GSGuest (additional, name not specified)
  Yeah, different movie. Yeah.
15. KMKurt Metzger
  Yeah, this is the same-
16. JRJoe Rogan
  But what was the... Hold on, what was the '65 one?
17. GSGuest (additional, name not specified)
  Different movie.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  Who did that one? Is that John Wayne? No.
19. KMKurt Metzger
  No.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, Omar Sharif. Okay.
21. KMKurt Metzger
  That's closer. You're getting closer.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  So they've done a few of those. Yeah, you're getting a little closer with Omar Sharif. But even then, you should be getting a guy from Mongolia.
23. KMKurt Metzger
  (coughs)
24. JRJoe Rogan
  I mean, if you want me to believe that it's Genghis Khan, you, you find a guy in Mongolia. There's gotta be a guy who can act.
25. KMKurt Metzger
  Oh, I don't. I want the-
26. JRJoe Rogan
  Acting's not that hard.
27. KMKurt Metzger
  I don't want you to believe. I want you to identify with him and see yourself reflected. That is Jo- that is John Wayne woke-ly wanting to see himself reflected in the story of Genghis Khan. (laughs)
28. JRJoe Rogan
  Do you think so?
29. KMKurt Metzger
  Uh, all these actors-
30. JRJoe Rogan
  I think it was a giant movie.
3:44 – 8:24
Merch moment to meme-coin chaos: “Hawk Tua” and the mechanics of rug pulls
1. KMKurt Metzger
  Now, I put this on to indicate-
2. JRJoe Rogan
  You put it on over your clothes though. That's the problem.
3. KMKurt Metzger
  I put it on over my shirt because I, I want... W- the great job so far pro-
4. JRJoe Rogan
  Where did you get it? Where'd you get that thing?
5. KMKurt Metzger
  Uh, out there every time I come. Jamie has a box-
6. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
7. KMKurt Metzger
  ... of bizarre merch.
8. GSGuest (additional, name not specified)
  Somebody sent us that. (laughs)
9. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
10. KMKurt Metzger
  Okay, let me tell you. I put this on to celebrate. I told Jamie.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  (screams)
12. KMKurt Metzger
  Because Hawk Tua has been pardoned.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh. Has she? Are you joking?
14. KMKurt Metzger
  This is s- finally. Finally. Julian Assange only took, uh, what did it take? 20 years?
15. JRJoe Rogan
  Wait a minute, are you serious or are you joking?
16. GSGuest (additional, name not specified)
  Uh, it was not a pardon, but the SEC said no charges.
17. KMKurt Metzger
  Uh, same diff-
18. JRJoe Rogan
  Okay. So, is that because she didn't have anything to do with the crime or is it because there wasn't a crime? What is it?
19. KMKurt Metzger
  There's a crime. I don't think-
20. JRJoe Rogan
  But is it a crime?
21. KMKurt Metzger
  I- Yeah.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  Is it illegal? This is the question with all this, like, fake money stuff. This is why it's so confusing. If you have these meme coins and people are genuinely making millions of dollars from real meme coins. But it's, it's still, it's kind of bullshit. It's kind of a fake money.
23. KMKurt Metzger
  Yeah.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  And anybody can kinda make it and then sell it. Like, there's no rules, right? Like, you can tump- you can dump it, right?
25. KMKurt Metzger
  Did I tell you my buddy was making... They make those AI slaves that they stack to make, like, memes and coins. A lot of these guys are in Puerto Rico or, like, uh-
26. JRJoe Rogan
  What?
27. KMKurt Metzger
  ... Dominican Republic because the taxes. Yeah. So, the guys that make those coins, they refer to people who buy those coins as degenerate gamblers.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  Right.
29. KMKurt Metzger
  'Cause that's what they are. So, that's all it... I mean, you could say it's, why is the stock market less degenerate gambler than that? I guess because, uh, I don't know why. Maybe you get backed up on certain investments by the government because there's a little bit more (laughs) fake regulation? I don't know.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  It is kind of crazy that it's based entirely on information and confidence about a company. And it can go up or down depending upon who, like, the CEO gets caught sleeping with or what new environmental laws come out.
8:24 – 11:38
From markets to entitlements: Social Security as “Ponzi,” fraud claims, and what gets cut first
1. KMKurt Metzger
  ... I was just chuckling, like, "Oh yes, but Social Security's the biggest Ponzi scheme." Not that shit. Social Security's the wor- that's the one that we gotta tackle, that scheme. Not all the other things, such as what you just described pretty well, I think.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Okay, so what are the big problems with Social Security? Let's lay it out-
3. KMKurt Metzger
  Uh-
4. JRJoe Rogan
  ... as, as seen by Kurt Metzger.
5. KMKurt Metzger
  Peop- well, people are gonna want it 'cause they paid into it, entitled.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
7. KMKurt Metzger
  That's a problem I see. Gotta get in there and count. Dude, uh, why are you, Steve Bannon is 100% right. He said it on Jimmy's show about Trump, 'cause Trump's saying he's not gonna touch it. All these pricks on both sides wanna cut that out and I, and then they wanna have, "You should have the freedom to invest" you, "into the stock market," or like, a 401K. You know the things that sometimes are, like, hot to a coin that don't pay out? Social Security has never missed a payment to anybody. That's, that's probably true of fault, 'cause I'm sure there is fraud, 'cause it's never missed a payment. So, why don't you go get the fraud out of it, okay? Uh, uh, um, I'm actually, like, irritated thinking about it 'cause we played Howard Lutnick. Did you guys see that guy, Howard Lutnick? It's Trump's commerce secretary, I wanna say, talking to, uh, who the hell was he talking to about why, uh, um, Social Sec- he goes, "If my mother-in-law, my, she's 95, didn't get her Social Security check, she's not gonna call and complain." Really, billionaire guy? Your mother-in-law will be fu-
8. JRJoe Rogan
  I did hear someone say that. I saw it written down.
9. KMKurt Metzger
  Great, great pick, Trump. I-
10. JRJoe Rogan
  I didn't see him say it, but just l- there's no way to do that right. (laughs) Like, to, to look at that statement the most charitable way. Do you know people are living barely? There's so many people-
11. KMKurt Metzger
  Oh.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  If you're on Social Security, you're, you're getting a very small amount of money, you're on a very fixed income. And-
13. KMKurt Metzger
  And you're owed.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  And if you don't, if you miss a month, that's a big fucking deal, man.
15. KMKurt Metzger
  Yeah.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  And you're old and you don't need that kind of stress in your life. You know, if you're old as fuck and then all of a sudden your Social Security stops, that's fucking terrifying.
17. KMKurt Metzger
  Well, you know what the plan is by these prick oligarchs? What they want is, so first, Doge. So, just, everybody freaking out about Doge and which, you, you're such a, like, uninformed... Doge is not gonna be anything. I got news for everybody. Ask Thomas Massie. That guy's who's right. That continuing resolution means everything got funded again until the next time when they're gonna do another continuing resolution, 'cause they said last time this was gonna be. This is what Massie explains. So, everything's funded plus another six billion for the Pentagon. Uh, so people are freaking out, but there's nothing cut. But you know what I bet they are gonna get to? Your entitlements. (laughs)
18. JRJoe Rogan
  Wait a minute.
19. KMKurt Metzger
  They'll make sure to cut that.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  But they haven't cut-
21. KMKurt Metzger
  Not Ukraine, not Israel, oh, God forbid, or China, yeah.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, they haven't even started with military, so, but just right now, like, the USAID stuff, right? If, they definitely have cut a lot.
23. KMKurt Metzger
  That's discretionary, so that just means the money's still in the budget, but I don't know if it'll go all to Israel. I have no idea what it means.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs) What does it mean?
25. KMKurt Metzger
  Uh, it's discretionary. It's discretionary.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  Wait a minute, so that means the programs-
27. KMKurt Metzger
  It just means-
28. JRJoe Rogan
  ... are cut, but the money is-
29. KMKurt Metzger
  Yeah.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  ... still allocated somewhere else?
11:38 – 15:51
The branding of power: USAID, Patriot Act logic, and Kurt’s CIA-operation T-shirt hobby
1. JRJoe Rogan
  Wasn't it genius, though, to call it USAID? 'Cause you have to be for it.
2. KMKurt Metzger
  Well, I th-
3. JRJoe Rogan
  It's like Patriot Act.
4. KMKurt Metzger
  I think this, this part should be the crime, 'cause it's USA ID. Not USA-
5. JRJoe Rogan
  Right.
6. KMKurt Metzger
  But they color the A the same color as the I and the D.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  Uh, do they?
8. KMKurt Metzger
  Yeah, so you think it's USA.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, that's so dirty.
10. KMKurt Metzger
  But I, I didn't know-
11. JRJoe Rogan
  Is that really how they do that?
12. KMKurt Metzger
  Yeah. US-
13. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh.
14. KMKurt Metzger
  So see the, the deception on purpose with that?
15. JRJoe Rogan
  That's rude.
16. KMKurt Metzger
  Yeah.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  That's, that's rude.
18. KMKurt Metzger
  It's USAID, not that.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  Wow.
20. KMKurt Metzger
  ... more like U.S. AIDS, am I right? (laughs) Talk to it.
21. GSGuest (additional, name not specified)
  It says, yeah, like, it's, like, from the American people, which is like, well...
22. JRJoe Rogan
  It's so tricky.
23. KMKurt Metzger
  Oh, good. Put my name on that evil shit you did. Thank you.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  It's so, it's, it's so tricky because U.S. aid just seems like a great name for a real charitable organ- organization.
25. KMKurt Metzger
  Yeah, it sounds, like, very America-
26. JRJoe Rogan
  Like, just super charitable.
27. KMKurt Metzger
  You know why it sounds so America? Because it's called U.S. aid, but it's not for anyone here.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  Right. But also, you have to support-
29. KMKurt Metzger
  It's for other people.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  ... all AIDS, okay? If you're not- (laughs)
15:51 – 18:20
Afghanistan money trails: Taliban payments, drugs, and who profits after withdrawal
1. KMKurt Metzger
  I brought to light how we are sending $40 to $87 million to the Taliban for about a year now. It's more than that. Uh, I, I've mentioned it quite a few times, and I've seen the... back before the State Department said they accidentally gave (laughs) them the money.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
3. KMKurt Metzger
  You know how we left the wrong way and left all our stuff and didn't disa- we thought it was disabled, but it wasn't. Well, that's the lithium triangle that, that, uh, Afghanistan's in. So, I'm sure that's part of the deal. We give them all our stuff. They, hey, they played a good game, give them some helicopters. And, uh, we, we can train terrorists there, 'cause most of the Islamicists came from us or Saudis or Israel or Pakistan, most of them. Uh, and, and we paid them, uh, like, $100 million out of the State Department. Maybe it was the U.S.A., U.S. aid, I don't know. But a s- a, a dude who showed me a video of it that he had. He wouldn't text it to me. He was, like, scared to text it to me. But this guy used to be a... he had an international press pass, and he showed me video of these Taliban guys, and they made, like, a, like, a fort out of American money. (laughs) They made, like, a, like, a way more than a chest-high wall of money.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  Jesus Christ.
5. KMKurt Metzger
  And so he wouldn't send it to me, but then two weeks later, the- it comes out in the news that they accidentally... So, they slipped in the tru- they slipped in that they gave it to them. But they have lithium there, 'cause that's the name of the game, right?
6. JRJoe Rogan
  I'm gonna say-
7. KMKurt Metzger
  Murderals.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  ... only the Sean Ryan thing, Jamie.
9. NANarrator
  Okay.
10. KMKurt Metzger
  So, he's, so he's right about that. He could-
11. JRJoe Rogan
  Sorry for the long pause earlier. I was trying to figure something out.
12. KMKurt Metzger
  So, he's right what he's saying, but I'm like, you weren't aware of this earlier, Sean? As a guy that ran a cartel (laughs) or whatever, that's where he came from. He's in Colombia running a drug network. They don't just let Americans do that unless they're like... you know? Come on. You d- you-
13. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, he was openly working for the government, right? When he was doing that?
14. KMKurt Metzger
  Oh, y- you don't think he was selling the drugs on behalf of the government?
15. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, what, what... I don't know what he was even admitting to doing.
16. KMKurt Metzger
  It's a, it's a Kim, uh-
17. JRJoe Rogan
  By the way, I really like this guy. I know you have issues with him. I've had him on the show.
18. KMKurt Metzger
  I don't have any personal issues with him.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  I like him a lot.
20. KMKurt Metzger
  Well, I don't have any personal issues.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  I think, I think-
22. KMKurt Metzger
  But I don't wanna say that. He's a killer.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  There's g- there's guys that get into the military, start working for the government, become agency people, get hired to do jobs all over the world, and I know a bunch of them. And they're some of the most interesting people I've ever met in my life.
24. KMKurt Metzger
  100%.
25. JRJoe Rogan
  ... but they don't agree with the way things are being run. And if they've done that, and then they step out, and then they start talking about it, like Shawn Ryan, you gotta kinda, like-
26. KMKurt Metzger
  That makes total sense.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
18:20 – 25:18
Who can you trust? Sean Ryan, misinformation pipelines, and the Tesla-truck bomber note
1. KMKurt Metzger
  That, I, that, everything you're saying is perfectly reasonable. Now I remember. When the Tesla, the guy who blew up his own Tesla outside a, Elon's-
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
3. KMKurt Metzger
  ... he had this, like, skull in... He was like, "Oh, we just got word that... I got this email."
4. JRJoe Rogan
  Right.
5. KMKurt Metzger
  And then, all of a sudden, next thing, he's in another car, and then we're not talking about it no more. That's a, an op, that's very oppy.
6. GSGuest (additional, name not specified)
  (clears throat)
7. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, it is. But you know what's also? It also could be, if you don't... Like, how long has he, how long has Shawn Ryan been doing the show?
8. KMKurt Metzger
  I don't know.
9. GSGuest (additional, name not specified)
  2021.
10. KMKurt Metzger
  He came out of nowhere.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  One thing that does happen is, you get duped. You know?
12. KMKurt Metzger
  Yes.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  We've been duped before. I've had people on the podcast where I'm like, "This guy's kind of a con artist." Like, uh, you get duped. And-
14. KMKurt Metzger
  Yeah.
15. JRJoe Rogan
  ... you, you get duped with stories. You get duped when people send you stuff that's not real. They send you down these rabbit holes-
16. KMKurt Metzger
  Mm-hmm.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  ... that are stupid. If you're not seasoned in this, and I'm, I'm still fucking up all the time.
18. KMKurt Metzger
  Yeah, right.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  But if you're, you haven't done a lot of these kind of podcasts-
20. KMKurt Metzger
  Yeah.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  ... where you're talking about controversial issues, sometimes you say something that's not totally accurate. Or maybe the people that are telling you the information aren't who they say they are. Maybe you're being purposely fed misinformation. It's fucking hard to figure it out sometimes.
22. KMKurt Metzger
  Uh, uh, it is for me. Now, I'm just saying-
23. JRJoe Rogan
  But what did it, what, what was proven about the letter? Right? So, the dude wrote a letter, correct?
24. KMKurt Metzger
  And, and-
25. JRJoe Rogan
  Or was it an email? What was it?
26. KMKurt Metzger
  He was on, who's the guy taking... Yeah.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  There's some writing that, well, he was talking about-
28. KMKurt Metzger
  Oh, about how, um-
29. JRJoe Rogan
  ... before he blew-
30. KMKurt Metzger
  ... somebody, was it, oh, Iran or China or somebody was se- it was like, with the drone? It was bizarre.
25:18 – 27:45
Phone tracking and manufactured crowds: paid rallies, campaign spectacle, and protest theater
1. KMKurt Metzger
  My girl likes to look at houses on Zillow. Dude, your phone, the way it's used to track you, is unbelievable. And amateurs, that's how we... I'm pretty sure, uh, the- the Bernie and AOC rallies, where I'm like, "There's no way that many people are going to see the- these losers."
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, that's a fact. They- they-
3. KMKurt Metzger
  There's no way. But they tracked the phones of the people-
4. JRJoe Rogan
  Yes. Yeah.
5. KMKurt Metzger
  ... okay? And then they knew the same people kept going to the same Bernie and AOC concert.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  They were going there, and they were also going to Kamala Harris rallies, and they were going to a bunch of other different left-wing protests, and it's a... That's a thing.
7. KMKurt Metzger
  People get paid to be Democrat.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  They get paid. It's a real job.
9. KMKurt Metzger
  That... Yeah.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  Like, you can get real money, much more money than you make working at McDonald's, to just show up and grab a sign and get in the stands. And so you can get-
11. KMKurt Metzger
  Oh, yeah.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  ... 24,000 people, you know. You have to pay them, but if you do, they'll go, and you can just keep doing that if you have a- an insane amount of money.
13. KMKurt Metzger
  Yeah. I... (laughs) Yeah, well, that's what they've been doing for a while.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  I mean, look at-
15. KMKurt Metzger
  Ever since the Tea Party.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  Look at the fucking, the amount-
17. KMKurt Metzger
  From before.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  ... of money that she spent on that campaign.
19. KMKurt Metzger
  She ran a great campaign.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  It was-
21. KMKurt Metzger
  You gotta admit that.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  It was pretty rock tight. What was the total-
23. KMKurt Metzger
  Every Diddy suspect. (laughs)
24. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
25. KMKurt Metzger
  Beyoncé, not singing, just talking. Uh-
26. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
27. KMKurt Metzger
  ... great commercials reaching out to men. Not going on your show, going on, uh, uh, the Call Her... I think that's Hot2HisMom. Uh, Call Her Daddy?
28. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
29. KMKurt Metzger
  G- great job, guys. And she l- and she lost. The cherry on top of that great campaign.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, what was really funny was afterwards they were asking for money, after it's over. Like, how... Why didn't you save some?
27:45 – 31:03
Disney culture-war flashpoint: Snow White backlash, CGI dwarfs, and scapegoating young actors
1. KMKurt Metzger
  Well, here's a clue, and I don't know if this is, uh, an obvious clue but, um, you know how we still have royalty everywhere? You know, by definition, a bloodline that, uh, should be over you that for some reason we're obsessed with, here in America, where we-
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
3. KMKurt Metzger
  ... rebelled. People fightin' over Snow White-
4. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
5. KMKurt Metzger
  ... the- the Bavarian fairytale to inculcate you with bloodline shit. Uh, and then like, uh, and then people are mad at the big head girl that (laughs) ... What's her fucking name? God, she looks like a- a mothership alien. The Snow White they got, the Puerto Rican Snow White.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  Jesus Christ. (laughs)
7. KMKurt Metzger
  I'm forgetting her name.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Jesus Christ. (laughs) I did not know where you were going there.
9. KMKurt Metzger
  You know, I... I-
10. JRJoe Rogan
  Yes.
11. KMKurt Metzger
  Okay.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  The- the young lady.
13. KMKurt Metzger
  So, when it first came-
14. JRJoe Rogan
  Wait, what's her name? Rachel?
15. KMKurt Metzger
  Yeah, so now if you notice, the- the spin on it, they're putting it all on her. I mean, I'm sure she sucks, but she is very young. Um, how about-
16. JRJoe Rogan
  She's a fucking kid, right?
17. KMKurt Metzger
  She didn't write the- that script though, right? And I don't think she made the no dwarves decisions. That was, uh, Sir Peter Dinklage.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, he... That was crazy. Right? Like, if you're... Do you know when they did the original Snow White? I was listening to Cody Tucker on Instagram. He was talking about this. When, um, you, when they did the original, um, version of, uh, The Wizard of Oz, they couldn't get dwarves because they'd all been killed by the Nazis, so they had, they had to bring 'em in to film things.
19. KMKurt Metzger
  Wait. Okay, hold on. Um, where did they film this?
20. JRJoe Rogan
  God, I- I wanna say... Find out where the Wizard of Oz was filmed.
21. KMKurt Metzger
  Wait, so the American dwarves were killed by the Nazis with it?
22. JRJoe Rogan
  No, no, no, no, no, no.
23. KMKurt Metzger
  Oh.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  They- they weren't... They didn't film it in America. They filmed it in like Bavaria.
25. GSGuest (additional, name not specified)
  Oh, hold on man, like...
26. JRJoe Rogan
  And there was no dwarves left.
27. KMKurt Metzger
  They didn't want to pay union dwarves.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  They... The Nazis had killed 'em all. Like, and no one talks about that, apparently.
29. KMKurt Metzger
  Um-
30. JRJoe Rogan
  But that was a thing, that they- they killed all of them.
31:03 – 43:32
Court dwarfs and royal spectacle: Jeffrey Hudson’s life, cruelty, and Game-of-Thrones reality checks
1. KMKurt Metzger
  You just reminded me of something great. No, but, uh, y- even... Okay. So, this is one of my favorite historical, um... So, you know how back in the day, the, uh, Jeffrey Hudson. Do you know about Jeffrey Hudson?
2. JRJoe Rogan
  No.
3. KMKurt Metzger
  The queen's dwarf in England? Uh, so back in the day... Wait, let me just see the year here. So, 1619 to 1682. He's, he lived kinda long, I guess, for that... Anyway, back then, royalty would collect, uh, like, you know, uh, dwarves, or if you were, like, really fat, because you had some gland problem, there's a girl in Spain like that-
4. JRJoe Rogan
  Right.
5. KMKurt Metzger
  ... and someone discovered you, uh, royals would keep you in, like, a menagerie. (laughs) Like, they're, "Ooh, a dwarf!" And you'd be, like, the court... Her dwarf.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  Hmm.
7. KMKurt Metzger
  Like a Paris Hilton dog, you know, from, uh... You know?
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Right.
9. KMKurt Metzger
  So this guy, Jeffrey Hudson, uh... I don't, I can't remember what queen it is, but for her birthday, they baked him into a pie. I mean, they didn't bake him, but they put him in a pie, okay? So then, she presents him this gigantic... this pie, this... And he jumps out, and then starts dancing on the table, and she loved it. I think he belonged to another noble family. It's like, "Well, you can have him." So then, he became her dwarf, and he had, like, a little sword. And, uh, he would... Uh, one of her relatives, he would, would disguise himself as a poor person and go... (laughs)
10. JRJoe Rogan
  Jesus Christ.
11. KMKurt Metzger
  Yeah.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  That laugh?
13. GSGuest (additional, name not specified)
  (laughs)
14. KMKurt Metzger
  Lookit, my voice is gone from yelling at hobos.
15. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
16. KMKurt Metzger
  Um, look at him there, and there he is with the queen walking him.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  (coughs)
18. KMKurt Metzger
  You gotta take care of 'em, you know?
19. JRJoe Rogan
  Jesus Christ.
20. KMKurt Metzger
  Probably had one of the... Better life than a full-sized adult back then, you know?
21. JRJoe Rogan
  Imagine trying to be a jester back then and walk the line between knowing what's across the line where the king's gonna cut your hand off-
22. KMKurt Metzger
  Yeah, well-
23. JRJoe Rogan
  ... to, you know, "Hey, hold on."
24. KMKurt Metzger
  ... look, if you're this guy, and you just jumped out of a pie, the king will let you say all kinds of stuff. It's like a fun roast.
25. JRJoe Rogan
  I think the world was way more like Game of Thrones than we tend to believe.
26. KMKurt Metzger
  Uh, he based it on history.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
28. KMKurt Metzger
  He based all that stuff on real history. Probably the dragon part. Sorry, Joy Behar.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  Um.
30. KMKurt Metzger
  Oh, wait-
43:32 – 48:28
Politics as performance: charisma vs competence, deep-state framing, and JFK ‘hidden video’ claims
1. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, but therein lies the problem. Because after a while, the person, no matter who they are, whatever job you're in, if they treat you like you're the boss, you start to think you know what the fuck you're doing. And she was treated like she was the boss for, you know, many, many years. And during that time, some people got her to say some crazy shit. Like when she was talking about certain things where she really didn't have information about it-
2. KMKurt Metzger
  Wait, who's this?
3. JRJoe Rogan
  ... and she would just ramble in circles. Kamala.
4. KMKurt Metzger
  Oh, do you mean when she described what's happening in Ukraine?
5. JRJoe Rogan
  (clicks tongue) Exactly.
6. KMKurt Metzger
  So basically, Russia's a lot... Ukraine is a small country.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  Ukraine is a country ... Yeah, like what?
8. KMKurt Metzger
  Oh, it's the Ukraine. Remember how they say it's Ukraine and not The Ukraine?
9. JRJoe Rogan
  It's the Ukraine?
10. KMKurt Metzger
  Yeah, it means the borderlands. So that's a marketing crap where we don't want people thinking it's just the borderlands. This is a legit, uh, thing.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  But I always wondered with Kamala Harris, like I've seen her talk before, and she's hilarious. I think some people just fucking clam up when they get in front of a camera and when they know the whole world's watching, and they know there's a lot of pressure, and if they fucked up a bunch of times before. Like to be good at public speaking under pressure, you have to have a lot of reps in. You gotta do it a long time.
12. KMKurt Metzger
  She's running for president?
13. JRJoe Rogan
  I understand.
14. KMKurt Metzger
  Wendy Williams would have been better.
15. JRJoe Rogan
  I understand.
16. KMKurt Metzger
  She has charisma, Wendy Williams.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  But I always wonder, like what is important about being a president? Is it-
18. KMKurt Metzger
  Power.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  Is it the ability to communicate, or is it the ability to rationally assess what needs to be done and what sacrifices have to be made and what's the right direction for everything to go in? That's the most important.
20. KMKurt Metzger
  I'll tell you what it is.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  But it's the ability-
22. KMKurt Metzger
  We're getting to it.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  I'm getting to it.
24. KMKurt Metzger
  Oh.
25. JRJoe Rogan
  But it's weird how much we rely on charisma and likability and th- just like the ability to form sentences in an eloquent manner.
26. KMKurt Metzger
  Mm-hmm.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  That's impressive. Even though that's only one aspect of what it would be... Like the most important aspect of being a president, I would think it'd be, be rational, be able to make decisions that are very difficult, know the correct direction, and be selfless, right? You- you're-
28. KMKurt Metzger
  Right.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  ... doing this for the country. That's the best version that we could think of as a president.
30. KMKurt Metzger
  That's what you have to look like, but what you have to be good at is looking like you're that, all those things.
48:28 – 55:40
Cocaine power fantasies to real influence: the Braddock recording, Freemasons talk, and intimidation politics
1. KMKurt Metzger
  So this is very strange. She's from Florida. She... her primary... she ran against, uh ... I forget his name, but I sent Jamie the video of this. This is one of the nuttiest things. The Republican she was running against in Florida in the primary was-... caught on tape talking about having her killed if she does well and is about to get elected.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, Jesus.
3. KMKurt Metzger
  So someone, you, I- I know I had heard of them, they're some influencer. William Braddick.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  Is this it?
5. KMKurt Metzger
  Okay, now I can't find-
6. JRJoe Rogan
  "William Braddick threatens to send Russian-Ukrainian hit squad after rival for Florida GOP primary." Oh.
7. GSGuest (additional, name not specified)
  Really?
8. KMKurt Metzger
  Okay, but they say Russian... Okay. He, that's- that's actually less weird than some of the other stuff he says, and they don't mention it. So play his-his recording. Now, he wa- he- he got prosecuted, so this is not him just bragging, I guess.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  Let me hear this.
10. NANarrator
  ... in front of everyone, one of my Freemason brothers, a billionaire, who's gonna actually... We're bringing in over a half of, we're bringing in over a half a billion dollars from offshore, from Malta and Gibraltar, to fund my campaign. So you know my campaign only needs a million dollars to win the primary, and another five or six for the midterm. We're bringing in half a billion dollars because they understand how fucking serious it is to keep our country intact.
11. GSGuest (additional, name not specified)
  Wow.
12. NANarrator
  And with that kind of money, I'm gonna have 24/7 two former Secret Service officers up my ass-
13. GSGuest (additional, name not specified)
  (laughs)
14. NANarrator
  ... unless I'm taking a shit. Good morning. And I don't want any of this, I don't want to know about this, but... Oh, we have access to a hit squad too, Ukrainians and Russians.
15. KMKurt Metzger
  Hit squad, not hip-hopper. (laughs)
16. JRJoe Rogan
  Jesus. (laughs) You did not hear that. Bad captions. You did not hear that from me.
17. GSGuest (additional, name not specified)
  I, I didn't hear what? (laughs)
18. KMKurt Metzger
  She's recording him. Uh-
19. NANarrator
  But this shit is getting deep, and I don't want you to be on the wrong side of it, so-
20. GSGuest (additional, name not specified)
  I don't wanna be on the wrong side of it either, so why would we need... I guess, like, I mean, th- that's-
21. NANarrator
  Oh, no. You're not gonna be, I mean, you're gonna be a part of it regardless, but I'm just saying don't get caught in public like supporting Luna, because Luna supporters are going, they're... Luna's gonna go down, and I hope it's by herself.
22. GSGuest (additional, name not specified)
  Um, is that why, like, I mean, I don't, that's, do, like... Is that what, like, the Russians are for? I just, that's like-
23. NANarrator
  If we do a... So my, my poll-
24. JRJoe Rogan
  That's the worst question I've ever heard in my life.
25. NANarrator
  I'm polling people-
26. KMKurt Metzger
  Let's keep him on the line. Let's keep him on the line.
27. NANarrator
  ... I'm charging $20,000 to poll-
28. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs) Yeah.
29. NANarrator
  ... right before the primary, and if the poll says Luna's gonna win, she's gonna be gone. She's gonna disappear.
30. GSGuest (additional, name not specified)
  Dang.
55:40 – 1:06:57
Audience capture and tribal denial: shills, Rittenhouse footage, BLM money, and ‘Tragedy and Hope’
1. KMKurt Metzger
  It's all... The straight guys and gay guys in those circles are imperceptible. Like th- like, oh, like, oh, Harry Sisson came out as straight recently, that kid with the rosy cheeks that Dillon, Tim Dillon had on.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Yes.
3. KMKurt Metzger
  That w-
4. JRJoe Rogan
  Tim Dillon had him on his show?
5. KMKurt Metzger
  Exposed him as shills. They came out and said they're being paid, and they're like, "No, cut that, cut that." Do you remember that? It was really funny.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  What... No, let me see that. I didn't watch that.
7. KMKurt Metzger
  Yeah. Tim Dillon expo-
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Hey, Jamie. You get anything on this?
9. KMKurt Metzger
  Uh, uh, yeah, I was w- I remember seeing it.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  Who's that, Jamie? (laughs)
11. GSGuest (additional, name not specified)
  Who the fuck is Absol-
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Listening to Mexican music.
13. GSGuest (additional, name not specified)
  ... is popping up sometimes when I first hear this shit.
14. KMKurt Metzger
  Fine work by Tim Dillon, what he's got. But anyway, I thought he was... I thought the kid with him was his boyfriend. No. He's been, uh, pressuring girls for Snapchat nudes.
15. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, no.
16. KMKurt Metzger
  Yeah, so it turns out this kid rules that way.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  So Tim Dillon had him on. What are they talking about?
18. GSGuest (additional, name not specified)
  All sorts of stuff.
19. KMKurt Metzger
  Oh, where's the part-
20. JRJoe Rogan
  He can't play any of it?
21. GSGuest (additional, name not specified)
  I don't... I mean, uh.
22. KMKurt Metzger
  Oh.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  Okay, we'll wait for that.
24. KMKurt Metzger
  That, you see his head in his hands? You just hit on it. We put his... Yeah, it's right, right around there.
25. GSGuest (additional, name not specified)
  Mm-hmm. Yeah.
26. On a panda level. It's disgusting.
27. NANarrator
  Well, there's a lot of people that would say that the American government, for a very, very long time, uh, has been very dishonest with its citizens. This is something that-
28. GSGuest (additional, name not specified)
  Can, can you give me an example?
29. KMKurt Metzger
  You little twit.
30. GSGuest (additional, name not specified)
  (laughs)

Episode duration: 2:33:31

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Cold open: nuclear-war jokes and “duck and cover” nostalgia

Manhattan Project awe, nuclear testing fallout, and the John Wayne cancer story

Hollywood historical revisionism: Genghis Khan casting, Cleopatra debates, and “identifying” with roles

Merch moment to meme-coin chaos: “Hawk Tua” and the mechanics of rug pulls

From markets to entitlements: Social Security as “Ponzi,” fraud claims, and what gets cut first

The branding of power: USAID, Patriot Act logic, and Kurt’s CIA-operation T-shirt hobby

Afghanistan money trails: Taliban payments, drugs, and who profits after withdrawal

Who can you trust? Sean Ryan, misinformation pipelines, and the Tesla-truck bomber note

Phone tracking and manufactured crowds: paid rallies, campaign spectacle, and protest theater

Disney culture-war flashpoint: Snow White backlash, CGI dwarfs, and scapegoating young actors

Court dwarfs and royal spectacle: Jeffrey Hudson’s life, cruelty, and Game-of-Thrones reality checks

Politics as performance: charisma vs competence, deep-state framing, and JFK ‘hidden video’ claims

Cocaine power fantasies to real influence: the Braddock recording, Freemasons talk, and intimidation politics

Audience capture and tribal denial: shills, Rittenhouse footage, BLM money, and ‘Tragedy and Hope’

Get more out of YouTube videos.