Joe Rogan Experience #2302 - Ron White

Ron White 0:00 (drumming music) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience.

Narrator 0:06 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music) What up? Hey, fella, what up? What's going on, Ron White?

Ron White 0:16 Ah, I'm feeling good finally after my little bout with fucking COVID.

Joe Rogan 0:21 They gotcha. They got you with the new COVID, so-

Ron White 0:24 They got me with the new COVID, man.

Joe Rogan 0:25 ... I thought the new COVID was total bullshit. I thought it was like a ba- baby cold. But-

Ron White 0:29 I had, um... You know, my, my girlfriend raised two kids and she said she's never seen anybody puke as much as I did for two days.

Joe Rogan 0:38 Wow.

Ron White 0:39 And, uh, and it was (laughs) it was brutal. It was just bile and... I don't even know if I ever b- I, I've ever been that sick. It only... I lasted that part of it a couple of days.

Joe Rogan 0:50 That's interesting. I wonder if you got multiple things at the same time. Do people usually puke a lot if they get COVID, Jamie, do you know?

Ron White 0:58 I don't remember that being a symptom.

Joe Rogan 1:01 I don't remember having that either.

Ron White 1:02 Well-

Joe Rogan 1:02 You might've had a couple things at the same time-

Ron White 1:04 You know, I, I just-

Joe Rogan 1:04 ... 'cause there was a bad flu going around too.

Ron White 1:06 Well, I went to, uh, you know, I went to Vegas and, uh, early and I had kinda... I just thought I had a cold when I went and, uh, my doctor here gave me a shot of steroids and I felt way fucking better. I mean, I felt better everywhere. I was more flexible. I was like, "Fuck it-"

Joe Rogan 1:23 (laughs)

Ron White 1:23 "... I wanna do steroids every goddamn day."

Joe Rogan 1:25 What kind of steroid was it?

Ron White 1:26 I don't know, but whatever it was, man, I could touch the floor without bending my knees without stretching at all. But I could do-

Joe Rogan 1:33 Like a cortisone shot?

Ron White 1:34 I, I don't know. It... Just-

Joe Rogan 1:36 Wow.

Ron White 1:36 She said steroids. She gave it to me. I don't ask a lot of questions, you know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 1:39 So you just felt loose?

Ron White 1:40 I felt loose and good. I played really good golf-

Joe Rogan 1:43 (laughs)

Ron White 1:43 ... and then I got there and it started catching up with me. I had my girlfriend, I'm staying in the mansion down at, you know, at, uh, MGM Grand, which is pretty sweet, and... And, uh, and I had that show just on Saturday and we got there on Wednesday and I'm like, "Fucking... I'm not gonna make it." I felt it all starting to deteriorate. So I called this doctor-

Joe Rogan 2:01 Damn, it was so bad you didn't think you, you were gonna make it on Saturday?

Ron White 2:05 I didn't... I didn't... I, I thought I would need a bl- another shot of steroids. That's... So I called the doctor, had the hotel call a doctor, and I thought I was getting the doctor that was, you know, whatever it takes to get through the show.

Joe Rogan 2:19 Right.

Ron White 2:19 And, uh, you know... But that's not the doctor I got. I... The doctor I got was, "We need to... Let's test you for COVID." I'm like, "No, no, I don't have COVID." He said, he said, "I won't charge you if it's negative," which didn't make any sense to me and I said, "Well, okay." And then it came up positive for COVID and he said, "See there, the T and the X and the, and the thing." And I said, "Yeah, I see it. Let's do it again, uh, because I don't think I have COVID." So we did it again, came up positive again. Not only would he not give me the (laughs) COVID shot, he told me to quit taking the antibiotics I was already on and, uh, and he did nothing except for call the CDC to tell them I had COVID and they both said, "You cannot do the show." I'm like, "Wait a minute, you're the wrong doctor." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 3:07 (laughs)

Ron White 3:07 "I don't want to fucking retire today. Shit. I wanna... Here's the... Your drummer's a junkie, he's out of heroin. Get him some fucking something to get him through this goddamn show."

Joe Rogan 3:17 So they were telling you you can't do the show because you had a specific kind of a cold, a COVID cold. So if you had the flu, would he have stopped you from doing the show?

Ron White 3:27 I'd say absolutely not. I mean-

Joe Rogan 3:29 That's so weird.

Ron White 3:29 I don't think it would even come up.

Joe Rogan 3:31 That's so weird because-

Ron White 3:32 And-

Joe Rogan 3:32 ... right now, like, the deaths from COVID now are so low, like, the idea that this is still a pandemic and they still have to treat it differently than they do a cold.

Ron White 3:42 They do. And, but-

Joe Rogan 3:43 Why?

Ron White 3:44 Well, I... You know, I... I was faced with, "Do I cancel a show?" Well, that's not the same as St. Louis when they just move the date and the people from St. Louis come back out.

Joe Rogan 3:55 Right.

Ron White 3:55 This is Las Vegas.

Joe Rogan 3:57 Right.

Ron White 3:57 A lot of those people come specifically to see me because I don't do all those shows that I used to do.

Joe Rogan 4:02 Right.

Ron White 4:02 So it's kinda, if you wanna come see it, then that's a good place. And so it's a problem. You know, it's a refund. You gotta refund them all because those people-

Joe Rogan 4:10 And they're bummed out.

Ron White 4:10 ... aren't gonna be there. Uh-

Joe Rogan 4:11 Most importantly, your fans are bummed out.

Ron White 4:13 Yeah, my fu-... I've disappointed them, everybody's here. Fuck, let's do the show. So, I's just sitting there. I didn't know what to do. So I'm like, "Well, I'm just gonna call MGM Grand and tell them what the fuck's going on, let it be their call," you know? And, uh, they were like, "So, uh, how do you feel?" (laughs) I'm like, "I feel like I can make it through the show." And they're like, "Well, I say let's just go ahead and do it. You're... You know, it's a big room. You're not within six feet of anybody."

Joe Rogan 4:38 It's 2025.

Ron White 4:40 It's 2025.

Joe Rogan 4:41 You... If you told me you had... Uh, you did tell me you had COVID and I gave you a big hug on Monday. I saw you on Monday.

Ron White 4:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:48 When we did Kill Tony.

Ron White 4:50 Right, that was five-

Joe Rogan 4:51 You were a super-spreader on Kill Tony. You son of a bitch.

Ron White 4:54 Big time. I'm a badasshole.

Joe Rogan 4:55 (laughs)

Ron White 4:55 The biggest asshole ever. It, it would be so horrible-

Joe Rogan 4:58 Nobody got sick.

Ron White 4:58 I know nobody did.

Joe Rogan 4:59 Nobody got sick. It's fucking-

Ron White 5:00 And it wasn't until the next day that I got sick. That's when the vomiting started. Wasn't in Vegas, it was day two. It was Tuesday after Kill Tony.

Joe Rogan 5:11 Ah.

Ron White 5:11 That's when I got sick. And, uh, and it, and it was fucking awful. I mean-

Joe Rogan 5:18 Wow.

Ron White 5:18 ... for two days, just awful.

Joe Rogan 5:20 Did you get another steroid shot?

Ron White 5:22 No. Nobody would give me one.

Joe Rogan 5:23 (laughs)

Ron White 5:23 So I don't know, man. I just got the wrong goddamn-

Joe Rogan 5:26 You gotta go to Gold's Gym. (laughs)

Ron White 5:28 (laughs) Yeah, right. They gotta... Yeah, they-

Joe Rogan 5:29 Find the biggest guy in the room and say, "Who's your doctor?"

Ron White 5:32 Yeah. "Dude, you got something, don't you?"

Joe Rogan 5:33 "You know you got something, bro. Come on, man. Aren't you a Ron White fan? Give me some fucking steroids."

Ron White 5:39 Just to get me around the corner. So, uh-

Joe Rogan 5:41 Yeah.

Ron White 5:43 So I'm back. I feel fine today and-

Joe Rogan 5:45 Well, that's good-

Ron White 5:46 ... and, uh-

Joe Rogan 5:47 ... good to see you back.

Ron White 5:48 ... which is really good news.

Joe Rogan 5:48 You coming to the club tonight?

Ron White 5:51 Uh, you know, they asked me to... I don't know who's got the set tonight. I don't know who's got the show.

Joe Rogan 5:55 We do. Fuck it, let's go. (laughs)

Ron White 5:56 Okay, let's go. I'll go.

Joe Rogan 5:58 Let's go, Ron White. Plus, uh, w-... bottom of the barrels tonight too.

Ron White 6:02 The, uh, Kill Tony was on, uh, Netflix-

Joe Rogan 6:05 Yeah.

Ron White 6:05 ... last night.

Joe Rogan 6:05 Isn't that amazing?

Ron White 6:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:06 I'm so happy.

Ron White 6:08 That-

Joe Rogan 6:08 I'm so happy for Tony and Red Band, and for everybody on the show. I'm just so happy that that show is now on Netflix.

Ron White 6:15 It's sweet, you know. I al- I always believed in it, and you know that. And, uh-

Joe Rogan 6:20 Yeah.

Ron White 6:20 ... I always saw something in Tony. I don't, I was never sure what exactly it was.

Joe Rogan 6:25 (laughs)

Ron White 6:25 But I saw something, you know, that I... Th- this kid works hard, you know. He's got a dream that he's-

Joe Rogan 6:31 Yeah.

Ron White 6:32 ... fucking making it work, and he's making it work with hard work.

Joe Rogan 6:35 He works hard. He works-

Ron White 6:36 And-

Joe Rogan 6:36 ... really hard at that show, man.

Ron White 6:37 Really does.

Joe Rogan 6:38 I mean, I call him in the middle of the day sometimes, and he's just laying out, like, how he's gonna do the show, what he's got... He's like, he's planning it. He's wandering around his apartment writing notes down, just planning it out in his head. He's legit. Tony's li-

Ron White 6:51 He is.

Joe Rogan 6:51 This is e- the thing about success. It's a product of hard work. And in that e- example, I fucking know it's a product of hard work. Those guys did that show every goddamn Monday for 10+ years.

Ron White 7:06 Starting with six people in the crowd.

Joe Rogan 7:07 I was one of them. (laughs)

Ron White 7:09 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:10 I was there when they were doing the Belly Room show, but I always encouraged it. I encourage people to do shows when no one's watching because I think that, you know, the only way something builds is you gotta get it started. You can't think you're gonna launch a podcast and it's gonna have a million downloads. It's not that way, and you don't want it that way anyway. You wanna get good at it. You wanna learn how to do it. You wanna iron out the kinks.

Ron White 7:32 I agree. I agree. That's-

Joe Rogan 7:34 And they did it. They fucking did it. They did it, and now it's one of the best shows in the world. It's the funniest fucking show on television, for sure.

Ron White 7:40 Uh, you know, as f- as far as just a fucking entertaining thing to goddamn do, I mean, just to come down, you know... My, my last girlfriend was so addicted to the show. She would come almost every Monday.

Joe Rogan 7:52 (laughs)

Ron White 7:52 And it's hard for me to go down there on Kill Tony night 'cause they got the, you know, the green rooms hocked out to 19,000 people, and there's-

Joe Rogan 8:00 Right.

Ron White 8:00 ... no place for me to go and-

Joe Rogan 8:01 Right.

Ron White 8:02 And, uh, so, you know, but, but she was addicted to it. I mean, just as something fun to do, you know.

Joe Rogan 8:08 It's a fun thing to do, man.

Ron White 8:10 Because you're gonna get some great comics. You're gonna... And it doesn't matter if s- i- if the comic eats it on stage 'cause it's still funny, you know. That's not the point. Uh, the point is that everybody has access, you know.

Joe Rogan 8:22 Mm-hmm.

Ron White 8:22 In some way, and, uh, and, and there's no shortcut to get there because I tried to shortcut it 'cause I thought I could 'cause I was Ron White, and I... My banker said, "Yeah, I've been doing standup, and I'd love to get on." I'm going, "No problem, I'll tell them."

Joe Rogan 8:35 (laughs)

Ron White 8:35 I'll be like, "I'll, I'll fix this for you." And, uh, (laughs) and uh, he was like, "Yeah, yeah. No, you, you can't. It's a bucket pull. That's the only way you can do it is to get his name in there." And he, or-

Joe Rogan 8:46 It's a legit bucket pull.

Ron White 8:47 It is.

Joe Rogan 8:47 I mean, it really is. And sometimes one of our guys gets in, like Hasan's been on a couple of times now, you know. And sometimes not. (laughs) You put your, put your name in the bucket. You'll see there's hundreds of names in that bucket.

Ron White 9:01 It's-

Joe Rogan 9:01 It's a great idea. It's a great idea.

Ron White 9:03 And it's-

Joe Rogan 9:03 It really is.

Ron White 9:04 A- and it's inclusive, uh, to anybody.

Joe Rogan 9:07 Mm-hmm.

Ron White 9:07 I mean, it's amazing to me. Who... He saw the, had the vision to put anybody, anybody, no matter what kind of physical shape, if they-

Joe Rogan 9:16 Yup.

Ron White 9:16 ... you can't even say a word-

Joe Rogan 9:18 Right.

Ron White 9:18 ... and handicapped on top of that, I, a- and, uh, uh, d- you know, just-

Joe Rogan 9:22 All you have to do is just give it a go.

Ron White 9:24 Give it a go.

Joe Rogan 9:25 Give it a go. Give it a go, try to be funny.

Ron White 9:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:26 Do your best. Just do your best.

Ron White 9:28 Yeah, so I'm, I'm-

Joe Rogan 9:29 And there's a lot of people doing their best.

Ron White 9:30 I'm thrilled, uh, I'm thrilled for the success of it, you know.

Joe Rogan 9:33 It's incredible.

Ron White 9:34 Yeah, it really is.

Joe Rogan 9:35 It's fun too. It's like it makes everything more fun. When, when there's a fun thing like that out there in the world, m- more, more of us have fun. We have more fun at the clubs. We have more, more fun talking about comedy.

Ron White 9:47 Yeah. And it, you know, made me-

Joe Rogan 9:48 It's (claps hands) fun.

Ron White 9:48 ... really proud too to, to, I mean, just to walk out on s- stage and it's, you know, it's you and Shane and, and S- and Segura and, and Tony and... And these are my friends, you know. These are my buddies. This is my tribe right here.

Joe Rogan 10:02 Yeah.

Ron White 10:02 And, uh, and we're doing something really special and it's a fucking hoot, you know.

Joe Rogan 10:07 Yeah. It is a fucking hoot.

Ron White 10:09 It's a fucking hoot.

Joe Rogan 10:10 Yeah. And it's, uh... That club's the best place for it. It's like-

Ron White 10:13 I had, I had a nightmare the other night.

Joe Rogan 10:15 Oh, no.

Ron White 10:15 Yeah. And it was, uh, about the club.

Joe Rogan 10:18 Oh, no.

Ron White 10:18 And, uh, that I was the headliner that night, and I got down there and there were, like, nine 11-year-old girls, and that's all the tickets we could sell.

Joe Rogan 10:28 (laughs)

Ron White 10:28 And I was like, "Did you tell them I was coming?" I mean, yeah, we put it in the thing-

Joe Rogan 10:32 Oh, that's a great idea.

Ron White 10:32 ... and, uh, nobody showed up, Ron, except for these chicks and...

Joe Rogan 10:35 If I was your psychiatrist, I'd sit down and I'd go, "Ron, what do you think this means to you?"

Ron White 10:40 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:41 "What, what inside of your subconscious makes you think that only 11-year-old girls would come to see you do comedies?"

Ron White 10:50 That's 'cause for, for 38 years I've been waiting for the end.

Joe Rogan 10:54 Ah.

Ron White 10:54 You know? And I'm, and it finally happened that, uh, that night in the middle of that drink. See?

Joe Rogan 10:58 Why the hell do you think like that?

Ron White 10:58 I knew it would happen. I knew it-

Joe Rogan 10:59 You think like that and it drives me crazy. I don't understand how you can think like that.

Ron White 11:02 I just always have because I, you know, it, it, it never works-

Joe Rogan 11:06 (laughs)

Ron White 11:06 ... as good as it works for me, you know. I mean, it's worked okay for you, but... I mean, you know, these kinda careers don't last forever.

Joe Rogan 11:15 Right.

Ron White 11:15 And so, unless they do, and there's not very many of them that do, you know, last fucking four decades and...

Joe Rogan 11:21 It's a different world now, Ron. I think they do last now.

Ron White 11:25 I, I guess so.

Joe Rogan 11:26 Because I think the thing that was going on before was everybody thought you did comedy to get to something. You did comedy to get to the movies, you did comedy to get to TV. And if you didn't, then you were a failure, and you thought of yourself as a failure, and other people thought of you as a failure too. And that would diminish your confidence, that would diminish your draw, and only a few people survived that and escaped. And a lot of great comics, like Richard Jeni for instance, he got caught up in that and felt like he was a failure and a loser and wound up fucking killing himself. Meanwhile, he was one of the greatest comics that's ever lived.

Ron White 12:00 That ever lived.

Joe Rogan 12:01 He just missed the boat. He missed the internet boat. He would've been fucking-

Ron White 12:05 Yeah, but I missed it too.

Joe Rogan 12:06 You didn't, though. Like, you didn't. You didn't miss it. You didn't. You, you caught us. You caught the whole wave, brother. You came to the comedy store at the right time.

Ron White 12:14 Well, I, I, I did catch a gr- (laughs) I did catch a great wave.

Joe Rogan 12:17 Yeah. And it, it, it's great for all of us e- that we all know each other. It's great for all of us. There's no more, you know, waves, like, in, in terms of, like, your career's gonna die off. Your care- it, your career's dependent entirely on your work, and your work's never been better.

Ron White 12:33 No, I, I don't think it has.

Joe Rogan 12:35 It's never been better. You're on-

Ron White 12:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:36 ... fire right now. You were killing it the other night. We were in the green room, and we were watching from the balcony. Fucking howling. It's great. It's great.

Ron White 12:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:44 There's no reason it shouldn't be great. Like, you've been doing it forever. You love doing it. You're passionate about it. You work hard. You're always writing.

Ron White 12:51 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 12:52 Of course it's great. (laughs)

Ron White 12:54 And it, and it's fun, you know.

Joe Rogan 12:55 It's the best.

Ron White 12:56 It's, there... I don't think there's any environment that's more conducive to getting chops than... I mean, that really is a gym-

Joe Rogan 13:05 Yeah.

Ron White 13:05 ... to me, and, uh, uh, b- and everybody there is just getting better, and it's that fucking stage time. There's no fucking substitute for stage time.

Joe Rogan 13:14 No substitute. Stage s- stage time and a good tribe.

Ron White 13:18 Yeah. Yeah, you gotta-

Joe Rogan 13:19 You gotta have a good tribe.

Ron White 13:20 ... you gotta have that, and-

Joe Rogan 13:20 'Cause everybody's killing it. Like when I see Hasan up there killing it, I'm like, "Woo, let's go." I get excited. Everybody's killing it.

Ron White 13:26 He's come a long way.

Joe Rogan 13:27 A long way.

Ron White 13:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:28 And y- you see these guys, like Ari Maddix, these young guys coming up. You see all these people, and you... Cam Patterson on Kill Tony Monday night was on fire. On fire. You see the growth. You see these guys emerging, and you're like, "This is incredible." We're in a... we're so lucky. We're in the, like, the... we have the luckiest job in the luckiest place in the world.

Ron White 13:48 I think so, man. And if I was a young comic now, I would go to Austin, Texas-

Joe Rogan 13:52 100%.

Ron White 13:53 ... and fi-...'cause there's just all that stage time, and then y- you don't actually automatically get to go to the mothership, but that can be your goal, and, uh...

Joe Rogan 14:01 You can get in there, man. You can get in there if you're good. You can get in there if you're good. There's a lot of guys get in there. All you have to do... a lot of women get in there, a lot of nonbinary people. All you have to do is just be good.

Ron White 14:10 Yup.

Joe Rogan 14:11 There's showcases all the time. Adam's picking people all the time. People see you. If you're funny, your shit's on the inter-... it's like, the path has never been clearer now for a young comic. I mean, when I was young, starting out, I'm just like, "How do you do this? How do you get on stage? How do you get a manager? How do you get paid? How do you do..."

Ron White 14:29 Right.

Joe Rogan 14:29 You know, now, it's like, it's kinda laid out.

Ron White 14:32 It is. And, and there are people also hanging around, like me, that, that have been through all this stuff before, you know, the, the, the growth sp-... to know how to get better, you know, because I was like you.

Joe Rogan 14:45 Mm-hmm.

Ron White 14:45 There was no direction. There was nobody giving advice. There was... you know, you just looked at it and went, "Okay, I'll-" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:52 Yeah.

Ron White 14:52 "... I'll try this."

Joe Rogan 14:53 Yeah, let's see.

Ron White 14:54 And, uh...

Joe Rogan 14:55 Well, you made it late in life too. You know, that's probably why you have this thing in your head. 'Cause like, when did blue collar was like... how old were you when that, that tour kicked off?

Ron White 15:05 45, I think, about.

Joe Rogan 15:06 Yeah, see, that's, that's, that's why. That's the thing. Do you know who else had that same sort of feel? Phil Hartman. Phil Hartman didn't get on Saturday Night Live till, think he was 36. That was his first break.

Ron White 15:20 36?

Joe Rogan 15:21 Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

Ron White 15:23 Now, did he do standup also, or is he a comedic actor?

Joe Rogan 15:25 He was going to. He would do some standup to warm up the crowd sometimes.

Ron White 15:31 Oh, okay.

Joe Rogan 15:32 And he would fuck around, and he and I talked about it, and I said, "Anytime you wanna do it," I go, "I'll take you to the store." I go, "You, you can get on stage. Let's..." I go, "You don't need a lot of time. You just, like, put together five minutes. I'll help you. I know you could do it." And he had some really funny impressions. He had a really funny Bill Clinton impression.

Ron White 15:48 Right.

Joe Rogan 15:48 He was a funny fucking dude, and a hard worker. You wanna talk about a hard worker. That dude used to make me, e-... everybody felt like they weren't a professional when they were around that guy 'cause he would have, like, tabs and shit, a notebook, where all his scenes were, everything was organized.

Ron White 16:04 Yeah, I already feel unprofessional. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:06 While he was doing that, he was also trying to take his pilot's license, so in between scenes he'd be reading airplane books. (laughs)

Ron White 16:13 Jesus Christ. What a fucking tragedy, man. What a fucking tragedy.

Joe Rogan 16:17 Oh, bro, you don't know the half of it. I tried to get him to divorce her a long time ago. I told him, like, right when he was struggling. I said, "Man, just give her half. Just get out. You'll make more money." And he was like, "Well, it's not half. It's a scam."

Ron White 16:32 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:33 "The lawyers get a third."

Ron White 16:34 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:34 "It's a third. You get a third of your fucking money." I'm like, "Okay, okay, okay, just give her the money. Just give her the money." Money is f- fun coupons.

Ron White 16:42 Right.

Joe Rogan 16:43 If you're having money and you're not having fun, you-

Ron White 16:45 Then what do you got?

Joe Rogan 16:46 ... you gotta cut something off, you know? You gotta figure out what... where's the cancer? (making a cutting sound) Hack it off. Hack off that melanoma and let's get this party rolling. Like, you, you shouldn't be involved with someone that you hate. That's crazy. You come home to someone who hates you. That's crazy.

Ron White 17:04 That is insane, yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:05 That's crazy, and it-

Ron White 17:06 And I, you know, and I've been in bad relationships before that I, that I cut off, and-

Joe Rogan 17:10 Of course.

Ron White 17:11 ... and, uh, and then all of a sudden you can breathe again, you know, and it-

Joe Rogan 17:14 You're a different person when you're in a bad relationship. Like, you're bad too. Like, you're not your best. Just like a bad friendship. Like, you're not the best friend if th- your friend is a cocksucker. You know, you're, you're good friends with good friends.

Ron White 17:28 Right.

Joe Rogan 17:28 Like, we all-

Ron White 17:29 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 17:29 ... inspire each other, and if you got a one-way street or if you are one of those unfortunate people that hooked up with a hot lunatic, 'cause that's the problem, you get a hot lunatic.

Ron White 17:40 Right.

Joe Rogan 17:40 And they're sexy and they're fun for short bursts-

Ron White 17:44 (coughs) Right.

Joe Rogan 17:45 ... of a few hours at a time, and then you're like, "Oh my God, this person is in my life." And if you move in with them, "Oh, Christ."

Ron White 17:51 I know.

Joe Rogan 17:52 And if you have kids with them, "Oh, Chri-"... and if you're married to them, "Oh, Christ."

Ron White 17:56 Oh.

Joe Rogan 17:56 "You married a hot lunatic."

Ron White 17:57 The hole gets deeper, and deeper, and deeper.

Joe Rogan 18:01 Next we... This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats. Summer is almost here, and you can now get almost anything you need for your sunny days delivered with Uber Eats. What do I mean by almost? Well, you can't get a well-groomered lawn delivered, but you can get chicken Parmesan delivered. Catamaran? That's a no. Lemon meringue? That's a yes. A day in the sun? No. A bottle of rum? Yes. Uber Eats can definitely help you out with that. Get almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. You know you- you're Johnny Depp and you're on TV.

Ron White 18:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:41 And you're in the court.

Ron White 18:42 With the whole thing falling to fucking pieces.

Joe Rogan 18:44 The whole... whole thing falling to pieces in front of the whole world 'cause you married a hot lunatic. And that's the thing about symmetry and beauty and, and w- women who are sexy. They just can trick you, and then, and men are so easily tricked or so vulnerable.

Ron White 18:58 Oh, I'm the, I'm the worst.

Joe Rogan 18:59 (laughs)

Ron White 19:00 I'm s-... it's so easy to lead me down a road. I'll just sniff my way, "Oh, this is bliss."

Joe Rogan 19:05 "I'm in love."

Ron White 19:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:07 "We're gonna elope. Fuck it, I don't care about my money." (laughs)

Ron White 19:14 (exhales)

Joe Rogan 19:14 Yeah, she used to, like, insult him at parties and shit, Phil Hartman's wife. It was really rough. Like, I remember w- took him... We all went to this party once, like some industry type party, and she was insulting him. And I was like, "Ugh." I just, I had to bite my tongue, which I'm not very good at, you know?

Ron White 19:32 No.

Joe Rogan 19:32 And I was like... And then, you know, he and I were in his green-... his little dressing room. And I was telling him, man, like, "There's another way. You don't have to do... You're a great guy. Like, you're a great guy. You're a lot of fun. You'd be a better person if you were with someone better. Like, you'd feel better about yourself. Like, you can't be feeling good about yourself."

Ron White 19:50 Fuck no, fuck no.

Joe Rogan 19:52 You gotta... You know, but he had kids too, which complicates the fuck out of everything.

Ron White 19:57 He had kids with her?

Joe Rogan 19:58 Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Ron White 19:59 Oh, fuck.

Joe Rogan 20:00 Yeah. Yeah.

Ron White 20:03 (laughs) What a horrible fucking story.

Joe Rogan 20:05 Did I ever tell you the story about like the worst I ever bombed on stage right after that? Like, easily the worst I've ever bombed on stage. Did I ever tell you this story?

Ron White 20:15 I've never seen you bomb on stage.

Joe Rogan 20:16 I was at the gas station. And, uh, I was getting gas. This was two weeks after he was murdered and it was the first time I was gonna go on stage again 'cause I was li-... Everyone was f- wrecked. I didn't even know, like, how long it would take before I felt like I could do comedy again. So I'm at the gas station getting gas and, uh, just randomly run into a buddy of mine who's a cop and, uh, I go, "Hey, what's up? What's going on, man?" He's like, "How you f-... How are you doing? You, you doin' okay?" I'm like, "Man, we're all fucked up, you know." And he goes, "Did I tell you that I was there?" I go, "No. You were there?" He goes, "Dude."

Ron White 20:50 What?

Joe Rogan 20:50 He goes, "I was there when the kids ran from the mom." I go, "What do you mean?" He's like, "After she killed herself, she barricaded herself in the b-... After..." Excuse me. After she killed Phil Hartman, she barricaded herself in the bathroom and she had the kids in there with her with a gun. And a lot of times when moms kill themselves, they'll kill their kids too. And the cops saw that, and so they kicked open the door and when they kicked open the door, the kids ran from the mom. The kids ran out of the bathroom and then the mom blew her brains out.

Ron White 21:30 Fuck, I forgot about... I forgot about that part of it. I mean, I forgot that she killed herself.

Joe Rogan 21:36 And then I'm seeing my friend at the gas station right before I go on stage. I'm going on stage in about 45 minutes.

Ron White 21:42 Jesus.

Joe Rogan 21:43 Yeah. H- half hour drive to the comedy store, 15 minutes before I'm gonna go on stage, and this is, this is my face. I'm just like, "There's nothing funny in the world. There's nothing funny in the world." (sighs) And then, um, after I recovered, you know, I took like another week off, and then I came back and I was like, he would just... He really just wanted me to keep going. I had a dream about him once. It was like the most realistic dream I've ever had about anybody in my life. Ever in my life. He was sitting in a lawn chair and I ran into him and I was like, "What are you... How are you doing? What are you doing?" And he's like, "Oh, I'm fine." And he goes, uh, "We made up." He goes-

Ron White 22:26 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:27 "It was a lot." He goes, uh, "Obviously we had a lot to work out," and he laughed about it. And, uh, I said, "Well, that's great, man." And then he pushed the chair back and he was gone, and then I woke up. Like, he was gone. It was the m-... One of the most r-... I've had two very realistic dreams in my life that seemed so realistic they didn't even make sense. That was one of them, where it was like I felt like he was there. I didn't, I didn't f-... I feel like he wanted me to let it go. It was, it was so weird. I felt like, you know, he wanted... It's like that's how he was whenever they would fight 'cause it like... (clears throat) I'm not... I don't like fights in real life, which sounds crazy 'cause I commentate on fights, but I don't like, I don't like conflict. I wish it didn't exist. The reason why I got good at fighting, like martial arts, is because I was scared of conflict. I don't like it. And I understand it, but I don't think it's necessary. And I don't think fighting in a relationship, I think that's the worst. And you scr-... The people that get in these relationships where they scream and yell at each other and call each other horrible names and... But with a lot of people, it becomes this cycle of getting mad at each other and then making up, and then the making up sex is, like, very addictive to a lot of people. It's like it's a different kind of thing.

Ron White 23:57 Sure.

Joe Rogan 23:57 And you get on this weird rollercoaster ride of "I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate." And he was, he was on that rollercoaster ride and he was letting me know, like, it just went too far. It went crazy.

Ron White 24:09 Well, you know, I, I lived in Mexico for a while with a, with a woman who eventually took her own life.

Joe Rogan 24:15 Oof.

Ron White 24:16 And, uh, I mean, I was already out of the picture for a couple of years and, uh, when that happened. But when I was in Mexico with her, I knew that I was, I, I've, I was trapped, number one. I was... (laughs) I moved down there to start a fucking pottery company 'cause I was frustrated with standup comedy. They had just cut my... The Funny Bone chain had just cut my pay by a third.

Joe Rogan 24:39 Ugh.

Ron White 24:41 (coughs) Because they realized that I just worked for them. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 24:44 Oh, boy.

Ron White 24:44 And I couldn't patch this schedule together without them.

Joe Rogan 24:47 Oh, what a bunch of assholes.

Ron White 24:48 So they... And I, I told the guy that, that, uh, ran the Funny Bone, Gerald Kubacki, to go eat a steaming bowl of fuck and, uh, (laughs) and I put-

Joe Rogan 24:59 I don't even know what that would look like.

Ron White 25:00 (coughs)

Joe Rogan 25:01 (laughs)

Ron White 25:01 I don't know. It, uh, it cost me a lot of work to say it, but it was still fun to say and...

Joe Rogan 25:06 Wow.

Ron White 25:07 But I moved with her down to Mexico and a- and I knew that she was crazy and I... And the way it came up was that she had called a f-... a friend of mine and told her that sometimes she stands over my bed with a knife-

Joe Rogan 25:23 Oh, Geez.

Ron White 25:23 ... and just stares at me and, uh, and my son was there also part of the time.And I'm like, "Well, that's over. I gotta get out of this." And, but, but the, the big thing was, I was depressed because of my situation, 'cause I didn't see a way out of it.

Joe Rogan 25:40 Yeah.

Ron White 25:40 You know, I didn't see a way out. Uh, uh, I just couldn't see, I just couldn't see a path. And, uh, and it got to where, when I was around people, I couldn't talk, and, uh, and, you know, I did, I had no tribe, you know, at all. I was cut off from all my friends, and, and it was just something I did to myself with that move down to Mexico, which I was there for three years.

Joe Rogan 26:03 Wow.

Ron White 26:03 And, uh, and it was just the worst time of my life and I really didn't think I'd ever come out of it. I mean, I never, never thought I could even get back to a place where I could sit and have a conversation with somebody, that's how depressed I was.

Joe Rogan 26:15 Wow.

Ron White 26:16 And, um, and when I... it was funny because I, I moved into Mexico. I had the biggest truck that Ryder makes, pulling the biggest trailer they make, my van pulling the biggest trailer they make, all headed down south.

Joe Rogan 26:29 All your shit?

Ron White 26:30 To... Everything. Moved to Mexico.

Joe Rogan 26:32 Why Mexico?

Ron White 26:34 Because my girlfriend at the time did this mosaic tile application to existing pottery, and she would sell it at art shows or craft shows, you know, whatever. And it would sell really fast, but it took her six months to make any of it, so I thought, "Why wouldn't you just go down to Mexico and train a bunch of women how to make it-"

Joe Rogan 26:57 (laughs)

Ron White 26:58 ... "and let her orchestrate it."

Joe Rogan 26:59 NAFTA.

Ron White 26:59 And I fucking did it. I-

Joe Rogan 27:02 Oh my goodness.

Ron White 27:02 I was part of that sucking sound that Ross Perot was talking about, going to Mexico. Three years later, I had the exact same equipment, headed (laughs) on, uh, north out of Mexico with the same exact truck, trailer, everything. That was a bad idea.

Joe Rogan 27:19 Three years?

Ron White 27:20 And, uh-

Joe Rogan 27:21 Wow.

Ron White 27:21 But, but once I-

Joe Rogan 27:23 She must have been hot.

Ron White 27:23 Oh, she was so hot.

Joe Rogan 27:25 (laughs)

Ron White 27:26 Oh, she was so hot. And I'd never been with a hot woman before. I'd never been with... I mean, it was my girl, you know?

Joe Rogan 27:33 Yeah.

Ron White 27:34 And, uh, she was just so, she was so beautiful. I'm like, "I'm gonna... I'll be with her even though I hate her, just so I can look at her." You know?

Joe Rogan 27:42 (laughs)

Ron White 27:42 Just, I'll just stare at her and that'll be enough. That's all I'll need. Turns out I needed a little more than that. So... But, uh-

Joe Rogan 27:51 You can only tolerate so much.

Ron White 27:52 And then, uh, and then I ended up marrying this other girl that was horrible. I mean-

Joe Rogan 27:57 (laughs)

Ron White 27:57 I mean, I know she's probably listening to this right now, so I don't mean horrible, but horrible. And, uh, but she always searched the internet for things about me so she could say, "Hey, this person said thanks for signing my girlfriend's tickets. What? Are you out there signing girlfriends' tickets?"

Joe Rogan 28:14 Oh, boy.

Ron White 28:14 "Uh, yeah, I'll sign anybody's ticket." You know, just always looking. Every time she'd turn on her computer, it'd make me sick to my stomach because I didn't know what she was gonna come up with. You know? I'm no angel anyway.

Joe Rogan 28:25 Oh, boy.

Ron White 28:25 And, uh, but, so that girl's sister, when she killed herself, sent me, uh, a post that, that, that my ex-wife found. She printed it saying that she had killed herself. She brought it in and handed it to me, and all I did was sit down on the couch and she goes, "Oh, now you loved her." And I'm like, "Just give me a minute. Okay. Just give me a-"

Joe Rogan 28:51 This is her sister doing this to you?

Ron White 28:52 No, this is my wife.

Joe Rogan 28:54 Oh, your wife.

Ron White 28:54 She got the note from her- she got the letter from her sister and handed it to me.

Joe Rogan 28:58 Oh. Oh, God.

Ron White 28:58 And she saw it affected me and she's like-

Joe Rogan 29:00 Oh, Jesus.

Ron White 29:00 ... "Oh, now you loved her."

Joe Rogan 29:02 Jesus Christ.

Ron White 29:04 Uh, well...

Joe Rogan 29:04 What are you supposed to do?

Ron White 29:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:06 A lady that you used to live with killed herself.

Ron White 29:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:09 What the fuck?

Ron White 29:10 Yeah, just give me a minute.

Joe Rogan 29:11 Give me a minute.

Ron White 29:12 Yeah, give me a minute.

Joe Rogan 29:13 Jesus, it's a human being that you know that killed themselves. How many people do you think you know that have killed themselves?

Ron White 29:21 Oh, man. Let's see. Not very many that I really knew. Uh, my best friend, uh, one of my best friends from childhood killed himself and, uh, but we thought he died at the massacre in Waco 'cause that's, he was a big Koresh guy.

Joe Rogan 29:42 Oh, boy. He missed the massacre?

Ron White 29:44 Yeah, he missed the massacre, but we thought he w- we thought maybe he's there when it was all going, going down. But he wasn't. And, uh, and eventually... It was an odd thing anyway. He was, he was, he was a dear friend from childhood. His dad was the music director at my church and he and I used to bluff, buff the floors of the church with those big bluff... That was our, our job on one day a week that we'd go down there and, and we'd actually sing Neil Young songs to the top of our lungs 'cause we-

Joe Rogan 30:16 (laughs)

Ron White 30:17 << Well, I dream nice all the nights, you know >> We'd just sing the fuck out of Neil Young songs 'cause that's the only tape I had, you know. I know you and him had a little problem, but, uh...

Joe Rogan 30:27 I don't have no problem with him.

Ron White 30:28 I know. You were so sweet about that.

Joe Rogan 30:29 I love that guy. I love his music. Uh, he just had... He didn't get it.

Ron White 30:35 No, he didn't.

Joe Rogan 30:35 That's all it is.

Ron White 30:36 That was, that was a, that was a dumb thing.

Joe Rogan 30:38 Well, he just missed... He didn't understand what was happening, and nobody did. I don't blame him. Nobody did. I'd, I'd talk to him in a heartbeat, even though he pulled his music and tried to get me removed from Spotify. (laughs)

Ron White 30:50 Right. That was a-

Joe Rogan 30:52 I still don't care. I love that guy. And I loved his music. Even after he did it, I still listened to his music. Uh, he just got... He missed... He didn't know what was happening. He got tricked. A lot of people got tricked, you know? A lot of people thought that this was the only way out, we had to listen to these evil, lying fucks that were telling us that everybody had to take this vaccine and there was no other medicine available and if you didn't, everybody was gonna die. And, you know, he got caught up in it. They got us all, though. They got the whole country. You can't be mad at the whole country.

Ron White 31:28 Right.

Joe Rogan 31:28 That's crazy.

Ron White 31:29 ... right? I, I-

Joe Rogan 31:30 I don't wanna be mad at anybody anymore, Ron White.

Ron White 31:32 I don't either.

Joe Rogan 31:33 As I get older, (sighs) I'm less and less inclined. There's people I don't wish to talk to.

Ron White 31:39 Right.

Joe Rogan 31:39 But, like, I don't need that in my life. I don't need whatever you bring in my life. But I don't wish you bad.

Ron White 31:46 Yeah, I have really, really healthy boundaries when it comes to people that don't make me feel good. You know?

Joe Rogan 31:52 Good.

Ron White 31:52 I just don't s- I just won't hang around 'em.

Joe Rogan 31:54 Yeah, I don't wanna be around 'em and confront 'em. Like, (mouth farts) who cares?

Ron White 31:57 Yeah. Yeah, no. I-

Joe Rogan 31:58 Good luck to you. I'll give you a hug.

Ron White 31:59 I got some other shit going on.

Joe Rogan 32:01 Yeah, I have friends.

Ron White 32:02 But you know what? I, I tell you what, what makes you a good friend. Uh, when you get successful, and I'll just talk about successful like I am, i- it's hard to find anybody that'll disagree with you, you know? That, uh, because there's something to gain. And, and that's true with you too. I mean, that, you know, you, you hold a lot of power. Uh, and, and you have something that a, a lot of people fucking want. And I know that because (snaps fingers) I have a b- (laughs) I have a box of ... And I should've brought 'em and given 'em to you anyway. I'll bring 'em to the club tonight. But it's just a guy I met that owns a sunglass company.

Joe Rogan 32:41 (laughs)

Ron White 32:41 And he makes sunglasses for hunting. And he-

Joe Rogan 32:44 Oh.

Ron White 32:44 And so he sent me-

Joe Rogan 32:45 Wait a minute, who wears sunglasses when they hunt?

Ron White 32:47 (clears throat) I don't know.

Joe Rogan 32:51 (laughs)

Ron White 32:51 Nobody?

Joe Rogan 32:52 Uh, you can't wear 'em when y-... Well, I guess maybe some people probably do. I bet rifle hunters do.

Ron White 32:59 Yeah, they, he said that one of 'em were specifically for bowhunting-

Joe Rogan 33:04 Oh.

Ron White 33:04 ... that makes you see the target better or something.

Joe Rogan 33:06 Oh, interesting. Okay. So he's got an invention.

Ron White 33:09 Um, I, you know, I don't know, uh, I, I don't hunt. So I don't really know anything about hunting and glasses. He, he just said he was gonna send a box, "Would you give 'em to Joe?" And I said, "Yeah, I'll give 'em to him." And I didn't. So ... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:22 (laughs) I would think that glasses would get in the way, because the, you know, when you shoot with a bow, there's a thing called a peep sight. So you have your string, and in your string is, uh, one, one of the things that's sewn into your string is this little plastic circle.

Ron White 33:37 Sure.

Joe Rogan 33:37 Do you know what it is?

Ron White 33:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:38 Okay, so you know it lines up with the scope, the housing of the bow? The-

Ron White 33:41 No.

Joe Rogan 33:42 Okay.

Ron White 33:42 I don't know that, but ...

Joe Rogan 33:43 So where the peep sight is, when you draw back and you, you don't look str- through the string. You look to the circle that's on the string. It's sewed into the string. And that circle, you line it up exactly with your sight housing. And so where your pin is, it's all about, like, staying calm and keeping that pin there. And you wanna keep it all, like, connected together. So, my eye's, like, right there. Like, right next to this, this, this peep sight. If I had glasses, it might get in the way.

Ron White 34:11 Right.

Joe Rogan 34:11 You know what I mean? Like, 'cause the string is touching my nose, and the thing is right there. And I'm just drawing back, and I'm looking at it like that, right through it.

Ron White 34:20 I'll give 'em to you, see what you think.

Joe Rogan 34:21 I don't know anybody who shoot-... But I knew, I know some hunters that have glasses, so there must be a way to adjust.

Ron White 34:27 I don't know. I don't know, that's what he told me though.

Joe Rogan 34:29 Okay.

Ron White 34:30 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:30 I'll try it out.

Ron White 34:30 All right.

Joe Rogan 34:31 I'm open to anything. You never know. And anything that makes you good at that, those are, that's a fucking difficult thing to do. You know? Like, if I meet a guy and he's like, "I'm a bowhunter," I'm like, "Oh, okay."

Ron White 34:43 Oh, anyway, what I'm saying is this. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:45 Go ahead. (laughs)

Ron White 34:46 What I'm saying is this, that, uh, that you're one of the only friends that I have that'll say, "No, that's fucked up, Ron." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:56 (laughs)

Ron White 34:56 You, you, you, you, you, you don't agree with me to make me feel better because you have something I ... and I have something you need.

Joe Rogan 35:02 Right.

Ron White 35:02 You know, you'll go ahead and go, "Nah."

Joe Rogan 35:05 Every now and then.

Ron White 35:07 That's the ...

Joe Rogan 35:07 This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. It's the end of tax season, and I know by now you all are probably sick of numbers. But there's one more expense we need to talk about, and that's how much you're investing in your wellbeing. The cost of traditional therapy can be outrageous, between $100 and $250 a month or even more. So, how do you get the help you need without blowing your monthly budget? Use BetterHelp. With BetterHelp, you pay a flat fee for weekly sessions, saving you money and time. It could even help you save up to 50% per session. And you still get quality care. Therapy is a good tool everyone can use. Whether you've experienced a major trauma or not, it can teach you valuable skills you can use in your everyday life, like how to better manage all that stress tax season brings, or how to communicate better with your partner, or even how to be more mindful. Use BetterHelp to work towards your goals at a reasonable cost. It's also more convenient, since everything is online. It's easier to work in a therapy session, no matter how hectic your schedule gets. And as one of the largest online therapy platforms, BetterHelp has access to thousands of therapists with all sorts of specialties, so you can find the right fit for you. Your wellbeing is worth it. Visit betterhelp.com/jre to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P, .com/jre. Well, that green room's great for that.

Ron White 36:35 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 36:36 A lot of th- s- 'cause everybody knows that everybody loves everybody. So everybody can just talk openly about anything, you know? Like, and if you have, like, some dumb argument with someone, someone will come in and go-

Ron White 36:46 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 36:46 ... "Nah, I think he's right." (laughs)

Ron White 36:50 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:50 And you gotta go, "Oh."

Ron White 36:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:52 "Really? What? (sighs) Okay, let me think about it." You need that in your life.

Ron White 36:57 You do.

Joe Rogan 36:58 You don't wanna be a tyrant.

Ron White 36:59 No.

Joe Rogan 36:59 You know? And that's what happens to a lot of successful people, is they get real insecure, and so they become kind of a tyrant, and they don't wanna listen to anybody else. You know, you see that with people that are, like, on shows, that they run the show. It's, the show is all about them, you know? They're the show. And they're, you know, they're the producer and executive producer, and the cast all kisses their ass. And they're at the top of the fucking c- c- casting call or whatever it is.

Ron White 37:23 Fuck yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:23 The call sheet. Yeah, it's a bad place to be.

Ron White 37:26 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 37:26 You don't wanna be there. (laughs) Don't do it. Don't do it. You just, you gotta resist the urge.

Ron White 37:35 So, I went back to, uh, uh, my ayahuasca place-

Joe Rogan 37:40 Uh-oh.

Ron White 37:42 ... uh, uh, down in, uh, Costa Rica.

Joe Rogan 37:44 Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum.

Ron White 37:47 Dum, dum, dum. So, I, I went four years ago, right? And, uh, and that's when I quit drinking.

Joe Rogan 37:54 Right.

Ron White 37:55 Which you know I did, right?

Joe Rogan 37:56 Yeah.

Ron White 37:56 You know I quit drinking.

Joe Rogan 37:57 I quit too.

Ron White 37:59 When?

Joe Rogan 38:00 A month ago.

Ron White 38:01 I knew that you weren't drinking.

Joe Rogan 38:03 Yes.

Ron White 38:03 But I didn't know-

Joe Rogan 38:04 Stopped drinking.

Ron White 38:04 I didn't know that it was a...

Joe Rogan 38:07 Yeah, I think I'm done. Yeah. Um, for no reason other than it's not good for you.

Ron White 38:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:12 No, I didn't have to. I enjoyed it.

Ron White 38:15 Right. No, you were having a good time. I was watching.

Joe Rogan 38:18 But the-

Ron White 38:18 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 38:18 ... the days after drinking were just too rough, and I'm like, "What, what kind of a moron who takes so good care of his body is poisoning himself a couple of days a week for fun?" You know, why am I doing that? And then I'm like, "Well, will I have the same amount of fun if I don't poison myself?" Turns out, yes.

Ron White 38:35 Exactly.

Joe Rogan 38:36 (laughs)

Ron White 38:36 Right. Well, there's more than one way to skin a cat. I mean, you haven't-

Joe Rogan 38:40 Yeah.

Ron White 38:40 ... quit everything, right? I mean...

Joe Rogan 38:42 Exactly.

Ron White 38:42 Yeah. And I'm just skinning the cat a different way.

Joe Rogan 38:45 Tell me about your cat. Well, I'm gonna play some ikaros. Did they play those while you went through the... Here we go. Jamie's got them ready. (icaros playing)

Ron White 38:54 So, what's that?

Joe Rogan 38:55 This is the songs that a lot of the shaman like to play while you're tripping balls.

Ron White 39:00 Oh, okay.

Joe Rogan 39:01 And if they play the song while you're under the influence, the hallucination will dance to the songs.

Ron White 39:09 Oh, wow.

Joe Rogan 39:10 It's, there's certain songs you're like, "I don't get it." Like the Grateful Dead. I've never been on acid at a Dead concert, but they say if you are, you get it. So, like, I'm missing that part.

Ron White 39:22 Right.

Joe Rogan 39:23 You know? So, to me, it's like, it's just this jam music, which is fine, but I'd rather listen to Skynyrd, you know what I mean?

Ron White 39:30 Right. I saw Skynyrd Monday, or it was Sunday night, and it was-

Joe Rogan 39:33 Not the original Skyn-, the real Skynyrd before the plane crash.

Ron White 39:36 No, I'm just saying these guys are putting-

Joe Rogan 39:38 I'm sure.

Ron White 39:39 ... a show together.

Joe Rogan 39:40 I'm sure.

Ron White 39:41 Ricky Medlocke, uh, playing Allen Collins' uh, s- uh, play. They had two other guitar players and, but it is a band.

Joe Rogan 39:49 Mm.

Ron White 39:49 I mean, they are nailing this shit. I had tears coming out of my eyes during fucking Free Bird for a lot of reasons.

Joe Rogan 39:56 (laughs)

Ron White 39:56 Number one, I saw them in '73. Me and Steve Cook, who was my best friend till the day he died.

Joe Rogan 40:02 Wow.

Ron White 40:03 And, uh, and Ronnie Van Zant was lighting joints, and he was handing them out into the crowd. Well, me and Steve-

Joe Rogan 40:10 (laughs)

Ron White 40:10 ... had worked our way up to the front. He handed one of them to me, and everybody else was taking a hit. I just stuck it in my pocket and, uh, and, uh, went in the bathroom and smoked it because we were caught. You know, it was illegal then, and I was listening to Skyn- Well, Sunday night, I'm at the Skynyrd show. There's cops where I was, and there was outhouses right next to it, where you go through this fence. And I told my girlfriend, "I'll be right back." And I was over there, and I was in the outhouse smoking a joint, listening to Skynyrd. I'm like, "Well, I haven't changed much in 50 fucking years," you know?

Joe Rogan 40:39 (laughs)

Ron White 40:39 The exact same thing, so...

Joe Rogan 40:42 Some, some songs people just nail it, and it stays great forever.

Ron White 40:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:48 You never get tired of Free Bird.

Ron White 40:49 But there's-

Joe Rogan 40:50 That guitar solo.

Ron White 40:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:51 Oh.

Ron White 40:51 And they just fucking hammered it home. I mean, it was so good.

Joe Rogan 40:56 Oh, nice.

Ron White 40:56 That it was just... I, I couldn't believe it, you know. I, I brought them on stage at The Greek one time, uh, maybe 20 years ago or 15 years ago, I don't know. And, uh, it was fun because I got to t- I got to say that wh- you know, when I was 16 years old, we were at the Skynyrd show, and we'd taken enough mushrooms to kill an average teenager, but we weren't average teenagers. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:21 (laughs)

Ron White 41:21 And, uh, "Ladies and gentlemen, Lynyrd Skynyrd." It was great fun.

Joe Rogan 41:25 That's cool.

Ron White 41:26 And, uh, so it kind of brought back all those memories, you know, of when... and then watching them play it again. It was kind of... Uh, uh, it's weird because especially when I come back from Arrhythmia, which is my plays out there, that I c- I always come back emotional.

Joe Rogan 41:39 Right.

Ron White 41:39 And, uh, and kind of full of love and forgiveness and those kinds of things. That's kind of-

Joe Rogan 41:46 Yeah.

Ron White 41:46 ... what I learned from, uh, from those hallucinogens.

Joe Rogan 41:50 Yeah.

Ron White 41:50 And, uh-

Joe Rogan 41:51 Isn't it crazy that that's illegal?

Ron White 41:54 Yeah. To, to, to feel good and to-

Joe Rogan 41:56 You gotta go to another country to be a better person. (laughs)

Ron White 42:00 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:01 You gotta go to another cou- You gotta leave the land of the free.

Ron White 42:05 Right.

Joe Rogan 42:06 Leave the land of freedom to go to another country that's much more lawless and, and take in the divine and come back a better person.

Ron White 42:16 It's i- and it's crazy. And, and I always said, and I don't think it's for everybody, you know. I, I'm, I'm not somebody out there just going, "Yeah, you gotta, you gotta do this," because I think you have to be open to some things.

Joe Rogan 42:27 Yeah.

Ron White 42:27 You know, you have to be open to, "Hey, maybe I'm wrong about everything." You know, maybe there is-

Joe Rogan 42:33 Because if you're, if you're not open to it, you'll get hit hard.

Ron White 42:36 Well, it... And that's why it's not for everybody because I-

Joe Rogan 42:39 Yeah.

Ron White 42:39 ... you know, I've seen people wigged down there.

Joe Rogan 42:41 Mm-hmm.

Ron White 42:41 And, uh, and which is why I, uh, you know, I know you can get ayahuasca locally and have... They have, you know, people that are... I don't know where they got their shaman title from, but you can do it here-

Joe Rogan 42:55 The internet. (laughs)

Ron White 42:55 Yeah. But I know that there, you know, it's a licensed medical facility with doctors. It's the only one in the world that's a licensed medical facility, and, uh, it's, uh, uh, and they're prepared when people wig. You know, they know what to do.

Joe Rogan 43:11 They know to hold you down?

Ron White 43:12 Yeah, well, and they do too.

Joe Rogan 43:15 (laughs)

Ron White 43:15 They'll, they will fucking bind you up and wait till it t- to clear because they know that you're at a point in this that you're going through some heavy shit. One of them was an NFL player last time I was there.

Joe Rogan 43:26 Oh, no.

Ron White 43:26 And this guy was fucking huge.

Joe Rogan 43:29 Oh, no.

Ron White 43:29 Plays for Buffalo.And, uh, and he just... And I was like, "God, if, if you had to pick somebody to wig, you would say, 'Please don't let it be that fucking dude.'"

Joe Rogan 43:39 Did he wig?

Ron White 43:40 Ha. He wigged.

Joe Rogan 43:40 Oh, no.

Ron White 43:41 He wigged big time.

Joe Rogan 43:43 Oh, no.

Ron White 43:44 And s- and started just screaming, "Get the fuck away from me!"

Joe Rogan 43:49 Oh, no.

Ron White 43:49 And, uh, which will f- you know, that kind of... You know, you got 70 people in this room (laughs) that are tripping, and so...

Joe Rogan 43:55 Oh, no. What a, what a bummer.

Ron White 43:57 And, and it was.

Joe Rogan 43:58 (laughs)

Ron White 43:59 And, but they've got big guys too.

Joe Rogan 44:02 Oh, there you go.

Ron White 44:03 And, uh, so they just got him out of the room, got him calmed down. And, and he didn't leave, you know? He, he just, he was going through some shit.

Joe Rogan 44:12 Hmm.

Ron White 44:12 Uh, the first time I went there, th- this girl from Japan started kicking and screaming, and they took her outside, and they had to fucking subdue her. But at the end of the day, the person with the biggest smile on their face was her, uh, because she worked through some shit that I can't even talk about that I happen to know what it was, but it ain't worth knowing. And, uh, but she found pure fucking joy and peace in her life, and you could see it in her face, you know? And I was wondering why, when she was wigging out, "Why's nobody flipping out but me?" 'Cause the people that worked there weren't flipping out at all, because they've seen it.

Joe Rogan 44:54 Yeah.

Ron White 44:54 And there's nothing they haven't seen. There's been 18,000 people through that facility, and so they've seen it all.

Joe Rogan 45:00 Right.

Ron White 45:00 And, uh, but they just know how to, they know how to handle it. Well, I wonder if you're just in some mansion in Beverly Hills or whatever, if there's somebody there that knows how to handle it and that kind of-

Joe Rogan 45:12 Probably not.

Ron White 45:13 Probably not. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:14 Probably not.

Ron White 45:14 So-

Joe Rogan 45:14 Especially if you don't know what you're gonna h- get hit with.

Ron White 45:17 Yeah, and you need to be, uh, in a really safe place where people know how to guide you through it.

Joe Rogan 45:22 Yeah.

Ron White 45:23 You know, you don't... It's not something I think you wanna grab a handful of and go sit in a fucking closet, you know?

Joe Rogan 45:28 Yeah.

Ron White 45:28 And try to figure it out for yourself, so.

Joe Rogan 45:30 Yeah. That's the real weirdness of any kind of a s- psychedelic journey, is that you're probably gonna be going through some shit, and someone could either manipulate you during that time or help you during that time.

Ron White 45:44 Right.

Joe Rogan 45:45 And there are people that will manipulate you.

Ron White 45:48 Absolutely, but, b- b- and, and that's why, you know, th- that's why I go to this place-

Joe Rogan 45:53 'Cause it's legit.

Ron White 45:54 ... that's not that easy to go to.

Joe Rogan 45:55 Yeah.

Ron White 45:55 But just because it's so safe.

Joe Rogan 45:58 Mm-hmm.

Ron White 45:59 Uh, you know, it's just, it's set up perfectly for what they're trying to do, and, uh, and it was, it was this guy's dream to do that, to make it accessible to regular people. So back then, when he opened up, you had to go to a corrugated tin shack in Peru or wherever-

Joe Rogan 46:16 Mm-hmm.

Ron White 46:16 ... to get this stuff, and he said, "I want to make a place that's safe to go, and people feel comfortable and," you know, so it's-

Joe Rogan 46:23 Isn't it kind of crazy that that's illegal? I mean, it's kind of the weirdest thing of all time that we haven't just, as a society, went, "Okay, w- why are all these people going to these places? Okay, when they come back, do they have positive experiences? Does it help them? Yeah, a lot of them. Okay, why don't we do that here?" It should be that simple.

Ron White 46:41 Should be that simple.

Joe Rogan 46:42 It should be so simple.

Ron White 46:43 Yeah, there was a guy there that was on a scholarship they had for basically wounded warriors that are going through heavy PTSD. There's an organization that is, that's sending guys to Arrhythmia, and, and, uh, so and I, I got to talk to him a lot while he was there, and he was a psychologist, uh, and b- but... And he was f- (laughs) he was fucked up, and, uh, e- but I kind of got to watch his transformation a little bit, watch this guy s- coming around, and I'd seen that, and I'd seen the transformation in myself, where I could just not be so angry and not be... And not hold all this hate, you know, that-

Joe Rogan 47:22 Right.

Ron White 47:22 ... that I, that i- that, uh, that takes so much energy to fucking control and to have them really show me a way to let all that stuff go, you know, to, uh... And to be a happier person, uh, you know, that, uh... It, and it's hard to e- I really don't understand ayahuasca, so it's really hard to explain it (laughs) to somebody else, you know? But the, but-

Joe Rogan 47:47 I don't think anybody really understands it.

Ron White 47:49 Yeah, right.

Joe Rogan 47:50 Yeah.

Ron White 47:50 And I know there's some stuff that's stronger than that, but I don't-

Joe Rogan 47:52 That's crazy talk.

Ron White 47:53 ... that, I don't know what it's called. What-

Joe Rogan 47:54 Ibogaine, you mean?

Ron White 47:56 Is that what it is?

Joe Rogan 47:57 Ibogaine is the one that people use for addiction. Um, um, there's a place called Beyond that's in Mexico that does that. Uh, Rick Perry was telling us about that. A lot of, uh, former Governor Rick Perry's-

Ron White 48:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:11 ... now part of that. He really wants to bring, um, ibogaine to Texas and have treatment centers.

Ron White 48:16 We can't be gambling here. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:19 I think they can get ibogaine, I think especially with a Republican like Rick Perry, who's really concerned about the mental health of veterans, 'cause I think that's where it really shines. Ibogaine in particular helps a lot of people, helps a lot. It gives you, like, a review of your life apparently. I've never experienced it, but the people that have, have very positive things to say about it, and it's incredibly good at helping people get over addictions. Um, it has a very high success rate. For one treatment, I think it's in the 80%, and then fourth, if you do two treatments, it's, uh, it's in the mid-90s.

Ron White 48:56 That's fucking amazing.

Joe Rogan 48:57 Yeah, people that never go back to the drugs, never. Never go back to whatever it is, gambling, whatever you have, whatever's wrong with you.

Ron White 49:05 All you gotta do is figure out what's wrong with you.

Joe Rogan 49:07 Yeah, you gotta figure out why you're doing that. Like, "What is this pathway that I keep going down that's sabotaging my whole life, and why, why can I not resist it? Why do I keep reaching for the bottle? What is it? Why do I keep snorting coke? What is it?"

Ron White 49:20 Right.

Joe Rogan 49:20 "What is it?" And-

Ron White 49:20 Well, that was b- the question I had with myself, 'cause I drank like a fool for years.

Joe Rogan 49:27 You don't say. (laughs)

Ron White 49:30 And... (laughs) It was funny 'cause, uh, w-... whenever I, I was single again, a- and I was in the green room, and I said, "Maybe I'll start drinking again," and everybody at one time went, "No." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:40 Yeah. No, no, no, no, no.

Ron White 49:41 No, that's not it. I was, I was just kidding.

Joe Rogan 49:44 Yeah.

Ron White 49:44 I was just kidding.

Joe Rogan 49:44 Well, you quit like that, though. You did like (snaps fingers) you were gone.

Ron White 49:47 I did. And, uh, but, uh, it, but I went to, uh, to, to RYTHMI with intention. I wanted to know why I was doing this to myself, and why I could not see a way to quit. And it was so tied up in my persona, my stage presence-

Joe Rogan 50:05 Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Ron White 50:05 ... who I really was at the time. And I'm like, "Why is this all tied to me? And w- why can't I shake it?" And, and so w- with that, uh, I also went through hypnosis 'cause I had to get sober before I went to, uh, i- 'cause that's not what their deal is.

Joe Rogan 50:24 Yeah.

Ron White 50:24 They're not a treatment facility. It could be a byproduct of it, but they're like, "Yeah, we're, we're not gonna ... we, we don't have detox here, you know."

Joe Rogan 50:31 Right.

Ron White 50:31 "So you have to quit some other way. And, and, and, uh, and, uh, once you've been sober for a month, you can come down here," which is exactly what I did. I came up with a way to do that through hypnosis, which I thought was pretty effective. And, and but I got sober once before in one of those rehabs in Malibu for 90 grand.

Joe Rogan 50:51 (laughs)

Ron White 50:51 And, uh, (laughs) it, w- it, w- which was at the time, I was spiraling. You know, I was, I was living in a five-star hotel in Beverly Hills. I was doing a bunch of blow. I was screwing expensive hookers, which was exactly my life plan. You know, there, I- I'm like, "Okay, here it is." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:08 (laughs)

Ron White 51:08 And this is ... (laughs) And it ended up feeling pretty hollow, you know, and I, I ended up going there. And, um, and I stayed sober for about s- it, maybe six months or something like that. But it was white knuckle the whole fucking time-

Joe Rogan 51:25 Ooh.

Ron White 51:25 ... of, you know, no fun. But when I, when I did it the way I did it, uh, w- when I checked into that facility, I got the sweat, night sweats, so bad when I quit that I would ... they had two beds in the new people's things, and I would soak the sheets in one of them and move to the other bed and soak the sheets in that one. I was detoxing bigtime. Never happened this time. I never had a night sweat, never regretted it, never thought about it again, never tempted-

Joe Rogan 51:58 Wow.

Ron White 51:58 ... to drink again. And, and you know, and I, and I own number one tequila still, and, and it's there at the green room every night. And I'm not even ... it doesn't even bother me a bit.

Joe Rogan 52:11 That's interesting.

Ron White 52:11 And-

Joe Rogan 52:12 'Cause that's what the big fear a lotta people have is how will I still be around bars?

Ron White 52:16 Right. And it, you know, and, and, and, i- and yeah, is it a little awkward at first? Yes. And do I hang out in bars all the time other than our club? Uh, no, I don't. I mean, I, I'll go listen to music if there's some, but just to go to a bar and hang out, I just don't do it.

Joe Rogan 52:33 Right.

Ron White 52:33 And, uh, for whatever reason.

Joe Rogan 52:36 Well, it's not that much fun being around drunks when you're sober.

Ron White 52:39 No, it's really not. (laughs) I, I-

Joe Rogan 52:40 Like you gotta be in the vibe of the drunks-

Ron White 52:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:43 ... to appreciate drunk talk.

Ron White 52:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:44 When you're sober and someone's drunk and they're telling you some fucking story about their boss being a douchebag, it's like, "Whoa."

Ron White 52:52 Right. So and I also have a tendency, a natural tendency, to just kinda isolate anyway, you know? And so I, I really ... that's one of the things I love about the club, is it gets me out of the house. It gets me to go down there where my friends are and do what I do for a living, and, and I, what I do for a living and what I do for fun both.

Joe Rogan 53:13 I think a lotta people have that problem, that isolation problem, you know?

Ron White 53:16 Yeah. Yeah, because I think that, I, I, I think that, that people like you and I, I think, a lot is wi- a l- a lot gets dumped on us, you know, um, because I'm the l- of, of all the friends that I know that I've known for a long time, I'm the only one that has, that's been very successful, not out of my comic friends but out of my regular friends. And, and, uh, and it seems like I get ... just I have to take in a lot of stuff, and I never knew how to get rid of it. So I would-

Joe Rogan 53:50 Right.

Ron White 53:51 ... just get to the point where I was full and I couldn't take anymore, and that's when I would isolate myself.

Joe Rogan 53:56 Right. Too many-

Ron White 53:57 And, uh-

Joe Rogan 53:57 ... people want something from you.

Ron White 53:58 ... too, too many people want something. That's why I'm f- gravitate towards you is 'cause I know you don't want jack shit from me except for me to be your buddy. And, uh, let us be brothers in comedy and whatever, so.

Joe Rogan 54:11 And life.

Ron White 54:12 And life. And so, you know, so that's really good for me. Even today, you know, that's what gets me out of the house sometimes, you know?

Joe Rogan 54:20 Oh, me too.

Ron White 54:20 And, uh-

Joe Rogan 54:21 I mean, I love being home. I love being home with my family, hanging out. But my comedy family I love being around too, and that's what I feel like. I feel like when, especially when comics are in town that I don't get to see that often-

Ron White 54:33 No, it's cool as shit.

Joe Rogan 54:34 ... you know, oh, we all hang out together. It's beautiful.

Ron White 54:37 Who were those two actors that were at the club the other day? It was so much fun to have them in there, the, uh, the, it was-

Joe Rogan 54:43 Which night?

Ron White 54:44 Fuck, I don't know. We, we, we get a lot of visitors. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:47 Wha- when Woody was there?

Ron White 54:50 No. Uh, uh, oh, uh-

Joe Rogan 54:53 Which one? Will Arnett and Brad Cooper were there.

Ron White 54:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:55 Oh.

Ron White 54:55 Brad Cooper and ... well, it was fun to have them in the green room because, you know, we, we've, we've, we all s- (laughs) we're all around each other all the time, so it's fun to have new people in there withi- with stories we've never heard. (laughs) You know?

Joe Rogan 55:06 Oh, I wasn't there for that one.

Ron White 55:07 Yeah, it was-

Joe Rogan 55:08 Yeah.

Ron White 55:08 ... it was cool as shit, you know?

Joe Rogan 55:10 Oh, wow.

Ron White 55:10 Just them hanging out, you know, just good guys, you know?

Joe Rogan 55:13 Yeah. Woody was there. You weren't here when Woody was there?

Ron White 55:16 No.

Joe Rogan 55:16 Oh my God, he was so much fun. He's so fun.

Ron White 55:20 Did he do your show?

Joe Rogan 55:20 No, he did ... yeah, he did my show, uh, but then this ... that was nights before that and he just wanted to come to the club. He's been to the club a couple of times now.

Ron White 55:28 Harrelson?

Joe Rogan 55:28 Yeah.

Ron White 55:30 Oh, I didn't know that.

Joe Rogan 55:31 Yeah, he's just been hanging out.

Ron White 55:32 Fuck, I always wanted to meet that guy.

Joe Rogan 55:33 Oh, he's so nice. He, we just all hung out in the green room, and he was just like one of the boys.It was so easy.

Ron White 55:40 How fucking cool is that?

Joe Rogan 55:41 So cool. So, he's so easy to talk to. So, like, and talks to everybody the same way. He's, like, so easy. He's just a genuine dude. He don't even have a phone. You can't even get ahold of him.

Ron White 55:51 Really?

Joe Rogan 55:52 Yeah, he don't have a phone. Doesn't have e- doesn't do email, fuck you. (laughs)

Ron White 55:56 (laughs) Oh, shit.

Joe Rogan 55:56 Yeah, he's like a... He's got an assistant that handles everything. Yeah. Which is probably a freeing thing. You know, just be, just stop. Just stop. Leave me alone.

Ron White 56:06 Right.

Joe Rogan 56:07 You know?

Ron White 56:07 Well, I don't answer emails anyways, so.

Joe Rogan 56:09 But it's also like, let me know what I actually, let me think about what I think about things instead of being inundated by all these other people's thoughts constantly, all day long. Which is valuable. It's good to get other people's perspectives on things. I think it enriches you. But at a certain point in time, you become, become captive to it. And I think there's just too many people that are captive to other people's thoughts.

Ron White 56:30 I think so too, that's why I'm so close-minded. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:33 (laughs)

Ron White 56:36 And I really am. I'm truly close-minded in that-

Joe Rogan 56:39 Hmm.

Ron White 56:39 ... I think you're open-minded in that, and-

Joe Rogan 56:40 I try to be.

Ron White 56:41 And, and I, and I, and I struggle with that because just letting people pour information into my head.

Joe Rogan 56:47 Yeah.

Ron White 56:48 You know, it just, I, I just tend to avoid it. I, I, I am engaged, you know, in that I, I do follow things closely and, uh, and not the stock market, but everything else.

Joe Rogan 56:59 (laughs)

Ron White 56:59 But, you know, that's been a little brutal.

Joe Rogan 57:00 Yeah. Don't, don't follow the stock market right now.

Ron White 57:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:03 It's so baffling. It's so crazy. Like, what is going on? Like, the whole world is mad at us. Trump's playing golf. And in between, uh, swings-

Ron White 57:13 Right.

Joe Rogan 57:13 ... he's on the phone with presidents of countries.

Ron White 57:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:15 "We're gonna need more money!"

Ron White 57:16 Yep.

Joe Rogan 57:17 (laughs)

Ron White 57:17 That's what somebody told me the other day. Like, "Is he playing checkers or is he playing chess?" He's playing golf!

Joe Rogan 57:22 He's playing golf.

Ron White 57:23 That's what-

Joe Rogan 57:23 Like, what does that mean? Everybody wants to think there's some, like, grand plan to it. Well, they think the grand plan is... Look, you, the, you know, we remember back when, um, the, was it the '92 elections when Ross Perot was in?

Ron White 57:40 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 57:41 So, when Ross Perot laid out what happened, do you remember during that debate where Ross Perot laid out what happened with the tariffs? So that, like, they, when we try to sell stuff over there, we get a high tariff. It's like a 35% tariff. But they don't get tariffs when it comes over here. It's not the same. It's not like, you know, you guys, there's a tax on everybody if you wanna sell your goods to encourage people to buy American products. If you wanna sell your products in America-

Ron White 58:08 Sure.

Joe Rogan 58:08 ... we get a tax. That tax goes to the fucking grid or whatever the hell they're fixing with it.

Ron White 58:12 Right.

Joe Rogan 58:13 Ross Perot was laying it out, like, this is how all the jobs went to Mexico. Because, have you ever seen that, Jamie?

Narrator 58:20 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 58:20 It's, it's, see if you can find it. It's a great speech 'cause Ross Perot-

Ron White 58:24 When he talked about the giant sucking sound?

Joe Rogan 58:26 Yes.

Ron White 58:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:27 You, you actually mentioned that earlier in the podcast.

Ron White 58:28 Right, yeah, that's what I was talking about. Right.

Joe Rogan 58:29 Yes. That's it, that's funny. Did you just see that recently or something?

Ron White 58:32 No, I just remember it.

Joe Rogan 58:34 Oh, boy. The giant su-... Let's-

Ron White 58:36 He would've been a great president. But he just-

Joe Rogan 58:38 He, I voted for him.

Ron White 58:39 He had, uh, big ears. You know?

Joe Rogan 58:41 (laughs)

Ron White 58:41 He didn't come across well on TV.

Joe Rogan 58:43 He was also an independent. He was an independent. And nobody was voting for independent. By the way, they changed the whole way debates work after this because it used to be if you got 5% of the vote in the primary that you could be a part of the presidential debates. And, uh, that's not the case anymore. Or it was 5% in a poll, I forget what the number was that you had to reach, but it wasn't a high threshold and then you could be a part of the debate. And they changed the shit outta that after this 'cause Ross Perot tanked it. They thought HW was gonna go for a second term.

Ron White 59:12 Right.

Joe Rogan 59:13 And meanwhile, Ross Perot fucked it up 'cause a lot of people that would've voted for Bush voted for Ross, and the people that were already gonna vote for Clinton voted for Clinton.

Ron White 59:19 Right.

Joe Rogan 59:19 And Clinton won. Bill, play this, Jim.

Narrator 59:21 ... thirteen dollars, fourteen dollars an hour for factory workers. And you can move your factory south of the border, pay a dollar an hour for labor, hire young, 25... That's assuming you've been in business for a long time and you've got a mature workforce. Pay a dollar an hour for your labor, have no healthcare, that's the most expensive single element in making a car, have no environmental controls, no pollution controls, and no retirement, and you don't care about anything but making money, there will be a giant sucking sound going on.

Ron White 59:49 (laughs) There it is, right there.

Joe Rogan 59:51 That's it.

Narrator 59:52 We, if, if the people send me to Washington, the first thing I'll do is study that 2,000 page agreement and make sure it's a two-way street. I, one last point here. I've called, I decided I was dumb and didn't understand it, so I called the who's who of the folks who've been around it. And I said, "Why won't everybody go south?" They said, "We'll be disrupted." I said, "For how long?" I finally got them up for 12 to 15 years. And I said, "Well, how does it stop being disruptive?" And that is when their jobs come up from a dollar an hour to six dollars an hour and ours go down to six dollars an hour, then it's leveled again.

Ron White 1:00:20 (laughs)

Narrator 1:00:20 But in the meantime, you've wrecked the country with these kinds of deals.

Ron White 1:00:23 Jesus Christ.

Joe Rogan 1:00:24 He was right.

Ron White 1:00:25 What a fucking smart man.

Joe Rogan 1:00:26 He was right.

Ron White 1:00:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:27 And that's exactly what happened.

Ron White 1:00:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:28 American manufacturing collapsed. Yeah.

Ron White 1:00:31 They-

Joe Rogan 1:00:31 And they did it all for money. And they did it all because they were greedy. They were already rich.

Ron White 1:00:36 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:00:36 And if we could've just gotten those motherfuckers some ayahuasca.

Ron White 1:00:39 Jesus Christ, they'd have smoothed the fuck out, man.

Joe Rogan 1:00:42 They would've said, "Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay."

Ron White 1:00:44 Yeah, let's be nice.

Joe Rogan 1:00:45 Let's make America great again. (laughs)

Ron White 1:00:46 I don't understand the trade war with, with Canada, 'cause have you ever met a Canadian that had $35 in his pocket? No. They're all broke. They have $22. That's it.

Joe Rogan 1:00:57 Really?

Ron White 1:00:58 And they'll buy you a beer. You know? I love Canadians.

Joe Rogan 1:01:01 They're all broke?

Ron White 1:01:01 (laughs) I've always... Yeah, they're broke.

Joe Rogan 1:01:02 (laughs)

Ron White 1:01:02 They don't have any money up there.

Joe Rogan 1:01:03 How come they don't have any money?

Ron White 1:01:04 'Cause they're, they're, because it, it's socialism. You know? They just, they, they ha- I think it's a great place. Don't you love Canada? Doesn't it-

Joe Rogan 1:01:12 I love it.

Ron White 1:01:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:12 Well, they have socialized medicine, but it's not, it's a capitalist society.

Ron White 1:01:15 It is, but socialized medicine.

Joe Rogan 1:01:17 Yeah.

Ron White 1:01:17 And it's expensive. So, they-

Joe Rogan 1:01:19 What, how much, what percentage of the Canadians paying taxes?

Ron White 1:01:23 Oh, I don't know.

Joe Rogan 1:01:24 Let's find that out. What is, uh, what's the Canadian tax rate? I know it's higher than Americans.

Ron White 1:01:29 I know mine's a bitch.

Joe Rogan 1:01:30 And when you go over there, you have to pay taxes too. Like, if you do a gig.

Ron White 1:01:33 Uh, yeah, you have to pay taxes.

Joe Rogan 1:01:34 Yeah, you pay Canadian taxes on your gig.

Ron White 1:01:36 And then you get paid in Canadian dollars.

Joe Rogan 1:01:38 (laughs)

Ron White 1:01:38 And I don't, I'm not going up there much for shows.

Joe Rogan 1:01:41 (laughs) Yeah.

Ron White 1:01:42 But, you know.

Joe Rogan 1:01:43 So, here it is. Canadian, "Canada's top federal income tax rate is 33%."

Ron White 1:01:49 Ooh.

Joe Rogan 1:01:49 While the US is 37%.

Ron White 1:01:50 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:01:51 "However, when combining federal, provincial, state taxes, Canadians often face higher marginal rates across various income levels." That's interesting that theirs is only 33%, ours is 37. I thought ours was lower than theirs.

Ron White 1:02:04 I thought ours was 40.

Joe Rogan 1:02:06 Well, it is when, uh, y- you get to a certain tax bracket, correct? Isn't it? Ours changes when you get higher, right?

Ron White 1:02:15 Yeah, yeah, yeah. That w- it does.

Joe Rogan 1:02:16 33% on the-

Ron White 1:02:18 Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:02:18 ... portion over $246,000. Oh, what's, uh, w- what's ours in terms of, like, the highest tax bracket? What's the highest US? Is it 37? That's what it is? Y- what's really crazy to me is when people say the rich should pay more taxes. Okay. Fine. But where do you think that's going? Where's that going? Where is the money going? Is the money going to the federal government? Do you think they're good at it? Do you think they're good at managing your money? Have you paid attention to all the shit Elon's fucking uncovered? 37% is when you make over $609,000 a year. That's you, motherfucker.

Ron White 1:02:55 Yeah, well, that's, that's me last month. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:02:59 (laughs) This is the thing. It's like, um, I'm happy to pay tax if I thought that they were doing a great job. But it's just, you are being strong-armed into giving money to people that do a really shitty job of protecting your money and, and inv- and investing it in the country. It's, a lot of it is going to bureaucracy and bullshit, and a bunch of things that you don't have any say in. If you could, like opt-

Ron White 1:03:26 It's a lot.

Joe Rogan 1:03:26 ... out of it, if you could, like ... Imagine if you could, like pick what you, you know, if you had, like, a whole tax sheet, what would you like your money to go to? Would you like your money to go to, uh, overthrowing governments? No. (laughs) Like, what if the federal government's budget was entirely based on the will of the people? Like, you get to choose. Like, how much of your money you want to put into drone strikes in Yemen? I says I want zero-

Ron White 1:03:49 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:03:49 ... of my money going to that. You know, how many, how much money do you want to go to this or that, or clean water? Okay, clean water sounds good. You know, how much infrastructure? Yeah, fuck yeah, fix the streets.

Ron White 1:03:59 Well, I've kind of, uh, I, I agree with you, and I, and I just heard you say this that, uh, you know, that, that everybody should have access to healthcare and education.

Joe Rogan 1:04:10 100%.

Ron White 1:04:11 And, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:04:12 The whole country.

Ron White 1:04:12 The whole country. Everybody in it.

Joe Rogan 1:04:14 We should be a community.

Ron White 1:04:14 That would rise us all up.

Joe Rogan 1:04:16 100%. Less losers.

Ron White 1:04:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:18 That's how you make America great, less losers. Less people that are saddled down with a lifetime of debt because they broke their leg. That's crazy.

Ron White 1:04:25 Yeah, all of my c- you know, all of my son's, uh, friends are all saddled with $90,000 worth of fucking student loan-

Joe Rogan 1:04:33 Student loans.

Ron White 1:04:33 ... debts. And, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:04:35 Subsidized.

Ron White 1:04:36 ... a- and my son was lucky enough to, that I had enough money to pay for his, you know. And, uh, and so he doesn't have that burden. But goddamn it, nobody should have that burden i- for an education. It just seems-

Joe Rogan 1:04:47 And it's just a for-profit institution that roped you into thinking that that was necessary, that you have to be. And by the way, you can get as good an education right now online as is available anywhere on Earth, online.

Ron White 1:05:00 If you have the discipline to-

Joe Rogan 1:05:01 If you have the discipline.

Ron White 1:05:02 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:05:02 Yeah. That's what so wild. That's what's so fascinating about this time, is that it is basically obsolete, and yet people are still paying $70,000 a year for it, and more. Like, what-what does Harvard cost? How much does Harv- what's Harvard's yearly tuition, Jamie? What do you guess? I was gonna leave 50,000, 60,000-

Ron White 1:05:22 Yeah, at least 50, I'd, uh ...

Joe Rogan 1:05:24 Imagine if you're a middle class guy and you got two kids and they do real good and they don't have scholarships and you gotta pay for them.

Ron White 1:05:32 I can't imagine. I mean, I d- I don't see how people do it. I mean, I really don't.

Joe Rogan 1:05:36 They barely do it. Oh, boy! The total cost of attendance includ- uh, including fees, housing, and food reaching around $82,000.

Ron White 1:05:44 W- we can't-

Joe Rogan 1:05:44 Undergraduate tuition is $56,550 for a year. That's a lot of money, man. Oof.

Ron White 1:05:51 That's one year.

Joe Rogan 1:05:53 Oof. Ooh.

Ron White 1:05:54 And if you drop out after one year (laughs) , then, then you have nothing and you're down 80 grand.

Joe Rogan 1:05:58 But if you make it through those four years, now you're 200 grand in the hole, uh, that you owe. And then you have to get a job, and then you get a job that pays 50. And you're like, "What?"

Ron White 1:06:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:10 "Oh my God, I'll never pay this off."

Ron White 1:06:11 How do we wash this off? Right, and then-

Joe Rogan 1:06:12 "I'll never pay this off."

Ron White 1:06:14 And then you have a, uh, to throw a couple of kids on top of that, and then, um ...

Joe Rogan 1:06:19 Yeah. Well, you know something wild? There's people out there, their Social Security is getting docked because they owe student loans. So they take money out of your Social Security to pay for your student loans, 'cause the student loans is the one thing you can never escape.

Ron White 1:06:31 Y- you can't bankrupt it. You can't-

Joe Rogan 1:06:33 Which is so crazy.

Ron White 1:06:35 It's cruel.

Joe Rogan 1:06:36 It doesn't make any sense. You're saddling an 18-year-old with the burden of a lifetime. Ca- H- Harvard will offer free tuition for families earning $200,000 or less a year. Oh, that's great.

Ron White 1:06:47 To who? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:06:49 That's a new thing.

Ron White 1:06:49 Offering it to who? You can't even get into Harvard. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:06:53 Right, but it's still good. Uh, will be free for students and families earning $200,000 or less a year, the college announced Monday. Harvard has long sought to open our doors to the most talented students, no matter their financial circumstances. That's great.

Ron White 1:07:06 Yeah, it is.

Joe Rogan 1:07:07 That's great. I just don't know if it's necessary. I think it's probably necessary for kids to go to school just to, like, a passage, a rite of passage, you know. Like, I think ceremonies and rites of passages are missing out of our society.

Ron White 1:07:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:21 And especially-

Ron White 1:07:22 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:07:23 ... I could speak for young men, they don't know when they're a man. Like, "Am I a man yet? Am I a man?" Like, there's some men that, you know, in their 30s, their dad's still yelling at them.

Ron White 1:07:31 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:07:32 You know what I mean? It's like, uh, when am I, when do I, am I a man? When am I an equal? When am I ... You know, we don't have a ceremony. You know, in other tribal societies, and all, all throughout history, people have had rituals, rites of passage rituals where people feel like, "Okay, we fucking made it." You know?... like you have a black belt ceremony. "You got your black belt. (clicks tongue) All right."

Ron White 1:07:52 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:07:53 "I made it," you know? "I'm in." But, you know, that's why I think there's a benefit in that society. But then you gotta, like, unlearn all this shit your fucking crazy professors are telling you.

Ron White 1:08:05 Did you go to college?

Joe Rogan 1:08:06 Yes. I went to UMass Boston.

Ron White 1:08:09 Oh, wow. That's a good school.

Joe Rogan 1:08:10 Yeah.

Ron White 1:08:10 Right?

Joe Rogan 1:08:11 Easy to get into. I was- I only went because I didn't want people thinking I was a loser. (laughs) That's the only reason why I went.

Ron White 1:08:18 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:08:18 I just wasted my time there. I went for three years. Just wasting my time taking class so I could tell people I was going to college.

Ron White 1:08:24 Oh, I didn't waste any time. I- I got kicked out of high school in the (laughs) 10th grade, so you know... My mind is an open book there. It- there's- a lot of the pages aren't filled in. And I- you know what? And I- I always kind of- I, I regret- I regret that a little bit, you know? That, that I didn't go to college, that I didn't, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:08:46 What do you regret about it?

Ron White 1:08:48 Well, just... You know... (clears throat) I, I- well, number one, I think I'd be smarter.

Joe Rogan 1:08:58 (laughs)

Ron White 1:08:59 (laughs) I- but I, I don't know what it is. And I- and y- and I've- I've made it just fine with what I've had, you know? And, uh, and, you know, I've got attention deficit disorder and, uh, and all these things. They really kept me from doing traditional schoolwork very well.

Joe Rogan 1:09:12 I'm not even sure that's real.

Ron White 1:09:13 Attention deficit disorder?

Joe Rogan 1:09:14 Yeah, I don't think it's real.

Ron White 1:09:16 You don't?

Joe Rogan 1:09:16 No.

Ron White 1:09:17 L- let me change your mind.

Joe Rogan 1:09:18 I think there's a lot of people-

Ron White 1:09:19 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:09:19 ... that aren't interested in a lot of things. But when they're interested in- when I- when they say attention deficit disorder, why are those guys so good at video games? Like, why are they so good at things that aren't school? I think it's just you- I think the hu- I think we could categorize it into a bunch of different, like, m- disorders and problems and- but the- I think a lot of that is a way to get you hooked on some sort of pharmaceutical drug that's gonna fix whatever problem you have that doesn't allow you to sit in class and listen to some boring shit for fucking six hours.

Ron White 1:09:48 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 1:09:48 You got no problem writing jokes, Ron White.

Ron White 1:09:50 No.

Joe Rogan 1:09:50 You got no problem performing. Like it's not- it's not like there's not a thing that you can't excel at, that you can- you can pay attention-

Ron White 1:09:57 Well-

Joe Rogan 1:09:57 ... when you're on stage.

Ron White 1:09:57 ... I don't know (laughs) I don't know about that. I think standup comedy was the answer to every problem I had.

Joe Rogan 1:10:04 No, you're just a-

Ron White 1:10:05 You know? Because that's what I was good at.

Joe Rogan 1:10:06 But it's like, you're a comic. You're- you are a comic. Like that's who- what you're supposed to do.

Ron White 1:10:11 But, but let me give you an example.

Joe Rogan 1:10:12 But-

Ron White 1:10:12 (clears throat)

Joe Rogan 1:10:13 ... that's my point, is that there's a lot of different, like, functions in society. There's a lot of different roles in society.

Ron White 1:10:19 I think they probably tag ADD to people that don't have it. But I know that I still have it. So if- let's say that I was gonna put together a ceiling fan.

Joe Rogan 1:10:33 Mm-hmm.

Ron White 1:10:33 And hang it in my roof, which I'm not. Uh, I could no more do that than the man in the moon without an Adderall.

Joe Rogan 1:10:43 (laughs)

Ron White 1:10:43 If I take an Adderall, I'll read the directions, I'll put the whole thing together, and hang it on, no problem. Without it-

Joe Rogan 1:10:50 I bet you could do it without it.

Ron White 1:10:51 ... I just stare at it. I've- I've tried.

Joe Rogan 1:10:53 You just get-

Ron White 1:10:53 I've tried.

Joe Rogan 1:10:54 You're bored. You d- you need excitement. You just- you're a certain type of dude who needs a certain type of stimulation. You know, which is why I like the high-wire act of performing live. I don't think it's a disorder. I think it's a super power.

Ron White 1:11:08 Ah.

Joe Rogan 1:11:09 I do.

Ron White 1:11:09 Well, I like the sound of that.

Joe Rogan 1:11:10 I do. I think the abilit- the inability to pay attention to shit that's not interesting is not a disorder. It's just you know what's interesting and what's not. You know? To this d- like, maybe I have it too, 'cause to this day when I'm talking to someone, they're saying something really boring, I go- I wanna run away.

Ron White 1:11:25 (laughs) Right, you don't- you don't hear a word that's coming out of their mouth.

Joe Rogan 1:11:28 I want to- I don't hear a word and I just can't- it's like it's (gurgling) .

Ron White 1:11:32 Yeah, no.

Joe Rogan 1:11:33 I just wanna get out.

Ron White 1:11:33 I- I'm the same way.

Joe Rogan 1:11:34 But that doesn't mean I have a disorder.

Ron White 1:11:37 I can't listen to it.

Joe Rogan 1:11:37 I don't think I have a disorder, 'cause if I'm talking to you, I got no problem at all.

Ron White 1:11:40 Well, let's- let's- let's get two ceiling fans out here.

Joe Rogan 1:11:43 (laughs)

Ron White 1:11:45 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:11:45 Yeah, I'm- I'm- I'm sure I'm not that good at putting together a ceiling fan either. I wouldn't enjoy it, but I could do it. You just follow the directions. Like, you could follow directions. It's not hard. It's just you wouldn't enjoy it. But if it was something that you enjoyed doing, like learning how to swing a golf club better-

Ron White 1:12:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:12:02 ... then you could pay attention.

Ron White 1:12:03 I do pay attention to