Joe Rogan Experience #2309 - Joey Diaz

Narrator 0:01 (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience.

0:06 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (instrumental music plays)

Joe Rogan 0:12 Let's fucking go.

Joey Diaz 0:14 Let's go.

Joe Rogan 0:15 Joey Diaz, ladies and gentlemen.

Joey Diaz 0:16 What's up, beautiful?

Joe Rogan 0:17 It's good to see you, my brother.

Joey Diaz 0:18 Good to see you. That was great. The club was fucking in rare form last night.

Joe Rogan 0:22 Oh, last night was packed. It's been packed all week. It's been really fun. Lot of fun shows, you know.

Joey Diaz 0:28 I was having a good time.

Joe Rogan 0:29 Shane, Shane was there last night, or the night before last. You know, you're there tonight. It's, it's been amazing.

Joey Diaz 0:35 Are you coming down to it?

Joe Rogan 0:35 Holtzman is on fire.

Joey Diaz 0:37 He's crazy.

Joe Rogan 0:37 Holtzman's on fire. Last night he was on fire. (laughs)

Joey Diaz 0:41 He is fucking on-

Joe Rogan 0:41 Me and Adam Eget were howling. We were watching him from the balcony and howling. Such a good community, Joey. It's so nice out here. So, so, so-

Joey Diaz 0:49 And I bumped into Duncan for breakfast.

Joe Rogan 0:51 He's the best.

Joey Diaz 0:52 Like, we just looked at each other. He's like, "What are you doing here, man?" And we sat down.

Joe Rogan 0:56 Me and Duncan are gonna corner you and try to get you to move here.

Joey Diaz 0:58 No, we're gonna, we're gonna figure it out. We're gonna figure it out.

Joe Rogan 1:00 Yeah. You guys, you guys, you belong here.

Joey Diaz 1:02 Every time I come down here, I see something else that ... Like, I had a great time last night.

Joe Rogan 1:06 Joe DeRose is here now too.

Joey Diaz 1:07 That's what I heard.

Joe Rogan 1:08 Yeah, he just moved here.

Joey Diaz 1:09 Is he gonna bring the sandwich shop down here?

Joe Rogan 1:10 Yes, he is. We're gonna open up a sandwich shop out here. He is, rather.

Joey Diaz 1:13 That's a good fucking idea.

Joe Rogan 1:14 I say we because I'm gonna be eating there. (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:16 Yeah, if he makes good sandwiches out here.

Joe Rogan 1:17 He, he makes a very good sandwich. Very good sandwich. Yeah. He brought a bunch of, um ... What did he do? Was it Moontower last year that he brought them? It might have been. It was Moontower or SXSW.

Narrator 1:27 Yeah, it was one of the two.

Joe Rogan 1:27 One of the two last year. He brought, like, a ton of sandwiches. He had a pop-up. So, he, his, his restaurant did a pop-up somewhere in Austin. I was like, "Bro, you gotta open this up here. You'd be killing it."

Joey Diaz 1:37 Yeah, he'd be

Narrator 1:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:37 "Especially if it's you."

Joey Diaz 1:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:39 And people know it's your business. 'Cause-

Joey Diaz 1:41 What I've heard is-

Joe Rogan 1:42 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:42 Somebody else was telling me about the sandwiches.

Joe Rogan 1:43 Very legit.

Joey Diaz 1:44 I gotta go up there.

Joe Rogan 1:45 Very legit.

Joey Diaz 1:45 I just don't even know where it is. I don't know if it's in Brooklyn.

Joe Rogan 1:48 Bro, I wanna kidnap my man Giovanni in White Plains and bring him out here. (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:52 Oh, bring him out here. Yeah, he'll fucking-

Joe Rogan 1:52 He can't survive outside of Italian neighborhoods, though. That guy's the most Italian guy that's ever lived.

Joey Diaz 1:58 And, you know, they get their stuff up there. They got everything.

Joe Rogan 2:00 Yeah, they get everything.

Joey Diaz 2:01 Yeah, everything.

Joe Rogan 2:01 And it's all coming in right from Italy, you know, 'cause a lot of it's imported. They, they use a lot of imported stuff. Imported mortadella, imported, um, the, the peppers, all that stuff that they have. You know, sun-dried peppers, sun-dried tomatoes. They import all that shit.

Joey Diaz 2:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:16 They gotta get that sh- you know. Then it ... Because if it goes there, then it's gotta ship from the boat all the way to Texas. It's a little bit of a pain in the ass.

Joey Diaz 2:23 Remember fucking Greasy Tony? He used to drive once a month to New Jersey-

Joe Rogan 2:27 Oh, Greasy Tony.

Joey Diaz 2:27 ... and get cold cuts and fucking chicken cutlets.

Joe Rogan 2:30 I miss him. I miss him.

Joey Diaz 2:30 Poor greasy Tony.

Joe Rogan 2:32 We used to visit him every time we went to Tempe. He was our guy.

Joey Diaz 2:36 Remember you said not to drink his Mountain Dew because he made it himself-

Joe Rogan 2:39 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 2:39 ... and you were out for two days? He used to make ... That was the strongest Mountain fucking Dew you could ever taste in your life.

Joe Rogan 2:45 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 2:45 You were up for fucking day.

Joe Rogan 2:47 Greasy Tony was such a character. He was such a character. And he became our friend.

Joey Diaz 2:52 Yeah, he was a good dude.

Joe Rogan 2:53 You know, when we first started going there ... We, we, we were visiting him for, like, 10 fucking years, you know. Every time we would do shows in town, we'd go visit Greasy Tony. (laughs)

Joey Diaz 3:01 He had a $20 chicken cutlet sandwich-

Joe Rogan 3:04 Phenomenal.

Joey Diaz 3:04 ... 15 years ago, which weighed ... Like-

Joe Rogan 3:08 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 3:08 I, I was 400 pounds and I would bring it home and try to finish it.

Joe Rogan 3:13 Do you remember that, uh, steak sub that he would make? What did he call it? Trash can?

Joey Diaz 3:16 Yes.

Joe Rogan 3:17 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 3:17 That's right, the trash can.

Joe Rogan 3:18 Yeah, yeah, the trash can. It was crazy. Peppers and onions and cheese and fucking everything was in that thing. It was crazy.

Joey Diaz 3:26 And you know what you were like when y-

Joe Rogan 3:28 It was, like, that thick.

Joey Diaz 3:29 When I drove in yesterday, I'm like, "This is how things change." I mean, we've been coming here since '95. I know I have.

Joe Rogan 3:35 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 3:35 Right?

Joe Rogan 3:35 Yeah, I think '99 was my first time here.

Joey Diaz 3:37 Yeah, I would do Houston and then drive down here and-

Joe Rogan 3:40 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 3:40 ... do the lobby in the fucking, uh, Cap City, when they had-

Joe Rogan 3:43 Oh, yeah, that little spot.

Joey Diaz 3:45 ... the stand up and the lobby. I still remember that.

Joe Rogan 3:46 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 3:46 Driving from fucking Houston down here. Not having any money, having to drive back because we couldn't get a hotel room. Drive back to Houston at the end of the night. And I was l- looking at this yesterday. Like, when I landed, it was four o'clock traffic. And I'm like, "Oh my God, this is how ... We're, we're watching how past civilizations just changed."

Joe Rogan 4:06 Yes.

Joey Diaz 4:07 Something happened here and everybody moved here.

Joe Rogan 4:10 Yup.

Joey Diaz 4:10 And I'm not talking about four or five people. Everybody.

Joe Rogan 4:14 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 4:14 And that's how civilizations change. We just witnessed it after the pandemic. It's been fucking surreal.

Joe Rogan 4:20 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 4:21 It is surreal.

Joe Rogan 4:22 Surreal. It's surreal.

Joey Diaz 4:22 Surreal.

Joe Rogan 4:22 To see things change, yeah. Um, you know what, it's also ... There's places that sort of rest on their laurels too much, and whenever that happens, it's easy for another place to rise up, that offers something more interesting. So, like, Los Angeles was always Los Angeles, and, like, when Gavin Newsom talks about California, it's like, "You know, I'm very big on California, very bullish on California. California has all this industry." Hey, fucko, they're all thinking about moving.

Joey Diaz 4:53 Thank God. Thank God.

Joe Rogan 4:54 The only reason why they don't move is 'cause it's too difficult to move. If it was like every business could instantly pull up roots and replace everything and have everything running in a week at the other place, they'd all be gone. They'd all be gone. They just ... It's too expensive. It's too expensive to leave versus what you would save and the regulations that you wouldn't have to go through and all the bullshit with all the permits and all the ... What California does is overregulate everything. They get as much government involved as possible, they suck as much tax money out of you as possible, and then they still leave the place a mess. They still have homeless people everywhere. It's still a fucking disaster. It's still a woke shitshow of virtue signaling at every level of the government, still. Like, no course correction at all. They're going further and further into la-la land. And you're like, "Jesus Christ, you guys." And so then a place like Austin becomes attractive, you know, because, like, it's not like that here. And people are very reasonable. And Austin ... The best thing about Austin is it's a blue city in a red state.... so it's, like, balanced. Like, this is a saying they have out here, "Keep Austin weird and surrounded." So Austin is (laughs) surrounded by rednecks with guns, and, like, it keeps the tone more medium. Like, the Austin liberals, they're much more just left of center people, like we are.

Joey Diaz 6:26 Okay.

Joe Rogan 6:26 You know what I mean? Like, in some parts of the country, we're considered, like, far right, you and I, far right. It's crazy. It's fucking ridiculous. It's... But it's because everybody went nuts, and everyone demanded a whole series of things that you have to agree to in order to be a good person. Like, (gasps) "Fuck off." You know what you can do?

Joey Diaz 6:47 So, the real problem is out there, let me tell you what the real problem is. I didn't realize it 'til I fucking left.

Joe Rogan 6:52 What?

Joey Diaz 6:52 That everybody's too busy tapping themselves on the back.

Joe Rogan 6:56 There's a lot of that.

Joey Diaz 6:56 Every... When the fires happen, those three women, or whatever the fuck-

Joe Rogan 7:00 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 7:00 ... uh, the chief and whatever-

Joe Rogan 7:01 Uh-huh.

Joey Diaz 7:01 ... I'm looking at them and I'm like, "Look at 'em."

Joe Rogan 7:04 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 7:04 They all got gel in their hair.

Joe Rogan 7:05 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 7:06 They all got a tattoo on their neck. God forbid, god forbid they can't be cool for just one fucking minute. God forbid. And tha-

Joe Rogan 7:14 I...

Joey Diaz 7:14 And that's the problem you have out there. It's too many people, "I'm so great. This is my idea and it's great, and it's gonna work." It's not working.

Joe Rogan 7:21 You're, you're right. But I think-

Joey Diaz 7:22 But you're too stupid to g- uh, say, "You know what? This ain't working." Their egos are so big, they don't have the heart to go, "This ain't working."

Joe Rogan 7:30 You're right. You're da-... absolutely right. But I don't think it's entirely their fault. It is their fault, but the culture rewards that kind of behavior. This is the problem with having protected classes of people, whether it's gay, lesbian, whatever it is, whether it's your nationality. If you have a protected class of people where you're not allowed to criticize the protected class of people, then they become, you know... Vivek, um, Ramaswamy talked about this, uh, in a very interesting way. He's like, "It's the tyranny of the underprivileged," or did... Is that what he called it, that the tyranny of the marginalized, or something along those lines. But the idea is that this group of people, whether they're trans people or gay people, they get, oh, above everything. Everything you do is amazing. Oh my God, you're so fabulous. You're so... because no one wants to be think-... thought of as homophobic or transphobic, so you pretend that everything they do is incredible, and so you... that you're gonna be the best firefighter ever. Like, can you carry a burning man out of a building? Girl, you don't have to. If he was in that building, he shou-... he shouldn't have been in that building in the first place. If I have to carry him out, we got other problems. That la-... a literal firefighter said that in response to could she carry her husband out of the building. Like, no, you c-... no, you can't, and so you shouldn't be a firefighter. Just like you shouldn't be a bouncer if you can't fight. You shouldn't be a firefighter. You shouldn't be a firefighter if you can't carry someone out of a buil-... if you can't run up a flight of stairs 'cause you're 260 pounds and five foot seven and a woman. No. No, you shouldn't be a firefighter. You should have to be in, like, really good shape to be a... Now, if you're some fucking CrossFits game lady who's some beast, I'm like, "Yeah, that lady could be a firefighter." Yeah. But it's like, like even guys. Like, if you're a guy and you're fucking scrawny and you never work out and all you do is smoke cigarettes, maybe you shouldn't be a firefighter. You know, maybe you ca- (laughs) maybe you can't get up that fucking flight of stairs either. It should be like... It's physical job where you're rescuing people. You have to be able to physically carry people. You have to rescue them. Firefighters, when I was a kid, were the fucking big-

Joey Diaz 9:37 Beast.

Joe Rogan 9:37 ... brutal men.

Joey Diaz 9:38 Beast. Kicking down doors.

Joe Rogan 9:40 Fucking houses. They looked like former football players. There was this guy I used to play pool with, Ray the fireman, 'cause everybody in the pool hall had... I was Joe the comedian. Everybody had a nickname based on what you did. Ray the fireman was a fucking house. He was just this big fucking, like, big Irish guy, you know? Like, of course he's a fireman. Look at him. That guy can s-... gonna kick down a door, carry your fucking husband, throw him over his shoulder, run through the flames, huh, throw him on the lawn. He does it all the time. He's an animal.

Joey Diaz 10:09 Like Vito's lover in The Sopranos? Remember, he was a fireman?

Joe Rogan 10:12 Oh, yeah, that's right.

Joey Diaz 10:13 Remember, he was firing the gay dude?

Joe Rogan 10:14 I forgot about that scene.

Joey Diaz 10:16 Then he killed himself-

Joe Rogan 10:16 Those scenes.

Joey Diaz 10:17 ... in real life.

Joe Rogan 10:17 Yeah. Oh, did he really?

Joey Diaz 10:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:18 After that show-

Joey Diaz 10:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:19 ... because they thought he was gay?

Joey Diaz 10:20 I don't know. I- I read somewhere-

Joe Rogan 10:22 I ba-... Oh, I hope it wasn't that. I hope they didn't taunt him for being gay. Can you imagine? You get your shot. "Hey, Joey, I got good news and bad news. Good news is you're gonna be on The Sopranos. Bad news is you gotta fuck a guy."

Joey Diaz 10:36 And you gotta swap spit with him.

Joe Rogan 10:37 You gotta swap spit on camera.

Joey Diaz 10:38 On camera.

Joe Rogan 10:39 Yeah. But you're on The Sopranos. What are you gonna do? Depends on what you wanna do. If you're a regular guy and that's your first acting gig, I suggest you pass. I suggest you pass.

Joey Diaz 10:50 Oh my gosh. I couldn't swap spit for the meth.

Joe Rogan 10:51 You have to be, like, a Jared Leto-type dude to pull that off. Died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound December 16th, 2008 at the age of 47.

Joey Diaz 11:01 And he was a firefighter, a former firefighter.

Joe Rogan 11:06 Who knows? I mean, when, when did he die? How long after the show?

Narrator 11:11 Hmm, I'd try to find that out.

Joe Rogan 11:13 Go pull it back up again.

Narrator 11:14 What day?

Joe Rogan 11:14 'Cause it just said. So he died in 2008. So the show was running in 2008, right?

Joey Diaz 11:25 Yup.

Joe Rogan 11:26 Was Sopranos still on in 2008?

Joey Diaz 11:27 No.

Joe Rogan 11:28 No? It was off by then?

Joey Diaz 11:29 2007, I think. No, 2009 maybe. I, I don't know. I don't know.

Joe Rogan 11:33 Let's find that out, and then we'll have an answer. But, um, I would imagine-

Narrator 11:38 (coughs)

Joe Rogan 11:38 ... if you're a guy, an Italian guy or whatever, and you go back to the neighborhood, and you've been playing-

Narrator 11:43 It ended June 10th, 2007, so right after it ended, I guess.

Joe Rogan 11:46 Right after it ended, he whacks himself. (sighs) That's so unfortunate. It's another beautiful thing about the comedy community, like, nobody gives a fuck if you're gay.

Joey Diaz 11:57 No.

Joe Rogan 11:58 Nobody ca-

Joey Diaz 11:58 No.

Joe Rogan 11:58 Like Tim Dillon. Tim Dillon just... He's just one of us. It's just... We're all... Like, the lesbians that come there and hang out, they're just one of us.

Joey Diaz 12:09 They trust you. They trust you.

Joe Rogan 12:09 No one gives a flying fuck. It's just, if you're not funny, nobody wants to hang out with you. If you're not funny, like, get out of the green room. You know what I mean? But if you're funny, who cares?

Joey Diaz 12:18 Who cares?

Joe Rogan 12:19 No one cares.

Joey Diaz 12:20 Do you remember the kid from Houston?

Joe Rogan 12:21 ... which one?

Joey Diaz 12:22 The guy that used to always wear football shirts.

Joe Rogan 12:24 Yes, where... He, did he die?

Joey Diaz 12:26 He, he passed away. He passed.

Joe Rogan 12:27 Oh.

Joey Diaz 12:27 That was my brother.

Joe Rogan 12:29 What was his name? Goddammit, I loved him.

Joey Diaz 12:32 I loved him, that's for sure.

Joe Rogan 12:33 It's fucking escaping my mind.

Joey Diaz 12:34 With the little hat on.

Joe Rogan 12:35 You're gonna remember his name.

Joey Diaz 12:36 And he'd come up to you and give you a hug all the time.

Joe Rogan 12:38 (sighs) I haven't seen him in so long. When did he die?

Joey Diaz 12:41 (sniffs) I don't know, maybe 10 years ago.

Joe Rogan 12:43 Did he talk about being gay onstage?

Joey Diaz 12:46 No, but he told me he was gay all the fucking time.

Joe Rogan 12:47 Oh, yeah, well he was gay as fuck.

Joey Diaz 12:48 He would go to those army things just to fuck men.

Joe Rogan 12:51 Well, he just looked like a football player.

Joey Diaz 12:53 Yes.

Joe Rogan 12:53 Like a big, form... He looked like a Shane Gillis type dude.

Joey Diaz 12:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:56 Like a big, former football player, but he was gay.

Joey Diaz 12:59 But he was gay.

Joe Rogan 12:59 He always wore football jerseys.

Joey Diaz 13:00 Always football jerseys.

Joe Rogan 13:01 Yes, sweet-

Joey Diaz 13:01 That's how he'd trick 'em.

Joe Rogan 13:03 ... sweetheart of guy. But again, same situation, Joey. That guy was one of us. He just hung out with us.

Joey Diaz 13:06 No, I loved him to death.

Joe Rogan 13:08 He just hung out with us.

Joey Diaz 13:08 I loved that dude to death, man.

Joe Rogan 13:10 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 13:10 It didn't even matter to me that he was... Listen, that's never mattered to me. You gotta remember, I was a Judas Priest fan in high school.

Joe Rogan 13:16 Right.

Joey Diaz 13:16 That dude's just gay as hell. First time I saw him-

Joe Rogan 13:18 Nobody knew. Isn't that funny?

Joey Diaz 13:19 I fucking knew in '79.

Joe Rogan 13:21 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 13:21 Nobody comes out with a little hat, with a whip.

Joe Rogan 13:24 Right.

Joey Diaz 13:24 You know? I saw him at the Palladium, I'm like, "That dude is gay."

Joe Rogan 13:26 You got another thing coming. Top, top.

Joey Diaz 13:27 Oh my God. Did you ever read... You just, you just have to try to read his book.

Joe Rogan 13:31 Really?

Joey Diaz 13:33 Jimmy Florentine gave it to me. You have to try to read it.

Joe Rogan 13:35 Is it crazy?

Joey Diaz 13:37 I'll just tell you one story, that there was a guy in Chicago, like, uh, a stylist that used to tell him he wanted dick, always bust... You know those people, those women?

Joe Rogan 13:45 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 13:45 "Come on, Joe. Come on." Oh yeah. You know?

Joe Rogan 13:47 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 13:47 And you're like, "Come on. It's never gonna happen." And he said, finally he got pissed off one day and he took the guy up on his offer. He goes, "I fucked him so hard, I blew out his O-ring. Guy had to go to the hospital." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:59 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 13:59 I'm reading this going, "This is my type of fucking guy. I love this fucking guy."

Joe Rogan 14:03 Oh, my God. Well, you gotta think what Rob Halford did. When he was at the head of Judas Priest, he got all these straight guys to dress like they're in a gay biker gang because they wanted to be cool like Judas Priest. He changed the style of a kinda music. He really did.

Joey Diaz 14:18 It was amazing. I loved them. I loved those guys.

Joe Rogan 14:19 How many straight guys dressed like gay bikers, not even knowing what they were doing? They just thought, you know, "This is how you dress for this kinda music."

Joey Diaz 14:27 That's kinda trippy.

Joe Rogan 14:27 But it was because of Rob Halford.

Joey Diaz 14:29 Fucking Rob. And he's still out.

Joe Rogan 14:31 You know, I, uh, had him on a show once. There he is, that bad motherfucker. <<You got another thing coming.>> I had a buddy of mine in high school who loved that song, and he used, like, a quote of it in his, uh, in his yearbook, and I've al- always remember thinking, "Wow, that's the coolest quote." Like, <<If you think you're gonna sit around/ Let your chip away m- away my brain / Listen, I ain't foolin' and you'd better think again / Out there is a fortune waiting to be had / You think I'll let it go, you're mad / You got another thing coming. >>

Joey Diaz 15:01 <<You got another thing coming.>> Fucking great album, great shit.

Joe Rogan 15:03 That kid never did anything, though.

Joey Diaz 15:05 No.

Joe Rogan 15:05 He never left the town.

Joey Diaz 15:06 No.

Joe Rogan 15:06 He fell apart after high school.

Joey Diaz 15:06 And here's the weirdest thing about Judas Priest.

Joe Rogan 15:10 What?

Joey Diaz 15:10 His writing. That's what I fucking died about, his writing, 'cause he would write, and you're thinking he's writing about a woman.

Joe Rogan 15:18 He's writing about assholes.

Joey Diaz 15:19 He's writing about a man, and he has a song called Burning Up that is so fucking over the top. "I know you feel the same / I know you feel the flame / Burning deep inside of you / Burning you up."

Joe Rogan 15:35 Ooh. It's called Chlamydia.

Joey Diaz 15:35 "Breaking you down / Breaking you out in a cold sweat / But when you lose control / Of your very soul / Your desire takes over / You'll feel the heat wave / You'll answer my way / And suddenly you'll know / That you're burning up."

Joe Rogan 15:53 Ooh.

Joey Diaz 15:54 That is a bad mother... When I heard that, I'm like, "Oh-"

Joe Rogan 15:56 Let me hear that, Jamie. We'll have to edit this outta the YouTube. For the folks at home, please seek it online. Here we go.

Joey Diaz 16:05 Listen to the way it starts. It's like a satellite. (strums guitar)

Joe Rogan 16:16 This is back before satellites. Like, before we had modems. Ooh.

Joey Diaz 16:21 This is 1980. This is on the Hell Bent for Leather Tour. (strums guitar)

Joe Rogan 16:36 You could let songs cook back then, you know? Like Time, Pink Floyd Time? Oh, baby. Guess what just got added to the Spotify playlist?

Narrator 16:50 You stitched me up good and you cut me down. So I string you up to keep you hanging around. You dish the hot stuff up. You keep me waiting. So I'll play it dirty till your body is breaking. We've got to make love. The time is right. We've got to make love tonight. 'Cause we're burning up. You make me greedy. You won't feed me my food. But I'll make out easy 'cause I see straight through you. You cool me off and hot me up.

Joe Rogan 17:37 There you go.

Narrator 17:37 And I know it's not right.

Joe Rogan 17:39 Hot, hot gay love-

Joey Diaz 17:43 So, when I read ro-

Joe Rogan 17:43 ... coming at ya.

Joey Diaz 17:44 When I read those lyrics, I'm like, "That's the most brilliant fucking thing."

Joe Rogan 17:49 That's the dark, the darkest thing about gay people today, is that some of them are in the closet, other than homophobia, is that s- so other than, there's genuinely people that hate gays. But that's rare.

Joey Diaz 18:00 Nobody hates gays.

Joe Rogan 18:01 No, there's, there's people that hate gay people.

Joey Diaz 18:02 It's 2025. I can't see you. You know, it's all around us. So if you're still hating, you got a fucking problem.

Joe Rogan 18:09 There, there's guys that have been molested when they were young. Um, they get a- angry at gay people. N- n- not on... and n- not, not that it makes sense. I'm not justifying it, but I- I've met guys that had problems with gay people. They were, like, very scared around gay people. But it was 'cause they got molested by a pedophile.

Joey Diaz 18:26 Right.

Joe Rogan 18:26 That happened-

Joey Diaz 18:27 Pedophile and being gay-

Joe Rogan 18:28 Big, big difference.

Joey Diaz 18:28 ... is two different fucking things.

Joe Rogan 18:29 Big difference. So I'm just saying, like, there are people, and there's very religious people that don't like gay people.

Joey Diaz 18:34 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 18:34 But-... most normal people don't give a fuck. Most normal people don't give a fuck, and they shouldn't. It's stupid. It's a dumb thing to think about.

Joey Diaz 18:42 You know, the way I-

Joe Rogan 18:42 Like, I don't... It's just like, if you're not having sex with me, what do I care? Like, who cares? This episode is brought to you by The Farmer's Dog. I've been asking dog-owning friends what they feed their dogs, and most of 'em are surprised by the question, and I get it. For decades, kibble was the only option. But as humans have been eating healthier, companies like The Farmer's Dog started feeding dogs healthier too, because when your dog eats freshly made human-grade food, owners notice a bunch of positive changes, including weight loss and higher energy levels, basically happier dogs. Did you know that overweight dogs can live an average of 2.5 years less? And did you know that 60% of dogs are overweight? So when my friends say, "I just feed my dog kibble or whatever," I tell them, "No, you gotta think about this one. You have to try The Farmer's Dog because no one, dog or human, should be eating highly processed food for every meal." So try The Farmer's Dog today and get 50% off your first box of healthy, freshly made food, plus free shipping. Just go to thefarmersdog.com/rogan. Tap the banner or visit this episode's page to learn more. The offer is for new customers only.

Joey Diaz 19:56 Now, the way I grew up, you know, the Cuban man side of me was supposed to... they don't-

Joe Rogan 20:01 Right.

Joey Diaz 20:02 The pre-revolution Cubans, they like-

Joe Rogan 20:04 Right. Italians too, Catholics, yeah.

Joey Diaz 20:05 They won't go in a room if there's a gay man in the room.

Joe Rogan 20:08 Really?

Joey Diaz 20:08 I always thought that was... "The fuck? You can't be in."

Joe Rogan 20:11 Right.

Joey Diaz 20:11 "I won't go in there." Why? Because you're a machismo type of dude? So that... But my mother was the one that goes, "No, they're fucking..." And then we had a gay guy in our neighborhood. I told you about this guy. He was... He worked with my mother. He was a, a designer on Broadway for some plays.

Joe Rogan 20:27 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 20:27 He would design the outfits.

Joe Rogan 20:29 Okay.

Joey Diaz 20:29 But at night he sold coke.

Joe Rogan 20:31 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 20:31 He was like... This is like 1975, and he would come to the bar, and I knew he was gay. His name was Martin, and we called him Martin and maricón because that's what that means in Spanish. Mar- maricón means fag in Spanish. So that was his open name in the Cuban community. But one day he came into my mother's bar and there was two bookies. I was like a kid, I was playing that shuffleboard.

Joe Rogan 20:52 Uh-huh.

Joey Diaz 20:53 Remember when you played the sawdust-

Joe Rogan 20:54 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joey Diaz 20:55 ... and you'd spin it? I'm playing the shuffleboard and he was right there, and the two bookies were in the corner. And the one guy goes, "Look who it is, Martin and maricón," and this motherfucker pulled out a .32.

Joe Rogan 21:04 Oh, Jesus.

Joey Diaz 21:05 And he goes, "Listen, I'm gonna tell them both of you's that unless you suck my dick or I fuck you in the ass, you don't have the right to call me Martin the fag."

Joe Rogan 21:14 Wow.

Joey Diaz 21:14 "So say it again, I'm gonna shoot both of you's," and my mom's yelling at him, "Martin, Martin, Coco's behind you. If they start shooting at each other, I'm right here." I lo- I lifted my head up, I'm like... Oh, and Martin's like... And all of a sudden Martin left. So the next day, I guess he called my mother to apologize, and Martin... My mother made Martin come and apologize to me. And when he opened the door, my mother... And he was like, "I'm very sorry about pulling out the gun." I go, "Fuck that, you're my new Charles Bronson."

Joe Rogan 21:37 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 21:37 I gave him a fucking hug and he became my best friend after that. And I respected him because he was going through hate.

Joe Rogan 21:44 Yeah, real hate.

Joey Diaz 21:44 Like in the early... mid-70s-

Joe Rogan 21:45 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 21:45 ... he would come back once a week with a black eye or a busted lip. He went to a bl- bar in the village and there'd be guys waiting for him on the way out. And I always respected that dude.

Joe Rogan 21:55 The-

Joey Diaz 21:55 Like always respected him for that.

Joe Rogan 21:57 The problem with bullies and bigots and all... People that attack people like that is all the s- it's the same problem in all walks of society. It's weak men. It's almost always just weak men. Weak, stupid men that want to find someone to pick on, want to find someone that's not bothering them at all and fuck with them 'cause they're weak. That's all it is. That's all it is. It's all... But that, that's all it is. Like the woke people that scream at you and want you to do what they want, the people that wanna like spray paint swastikas on Teslas, it's the same thing. It's weak men, mostly weak men, and a bunch of crazy women, and they're all together in this big pile of suck that's connected to a political ideology. But most people, you, you know, you shouldn't care. And if you do care, you just weren't around... I, I was around gay people when I was real young, fortunately.

Joey Diaz 22:45 Mm-hmm. Sure.

Joe Rogan 22:45 I lived in San Francisco when I was seven years old and we were in the middle of gay land. I mean, it was San Francisco in the '70s, dude. It was gay as fuck. During the Vietnam War in San Francisco, I remember I'd be walking down the street with my stepdad once and a guy whistled at him. I was like, "Oh, shit." I got uncomfortable. Like, he didn't freak out, he just like shucked his head... shook his head like, "What the fuck?"

Joey Diaz 23:07 (laughs) When they whistle at a...

Joe Rogan 23:08 With a little kid. He's walking with a seven-year-old and this guy whistled him down. That guy didn't give a fuck about kids. He's not making any, he doesn't care. So, um, we had these next door neighbors who... these gay, this gay couple, and my aunt used to, uh, smoke weed with them and they'd get naked and play bongos. And she loved the fact that she could get naked with these guys 'cause they didn't, they didn't try to fuck her. So they'd all just get naked together and smoke weed and play bongos. It was hilarious. They were really nice people. So like my experience with gay people was just like they're everywhere. It's normal. So when I moved to Florida, I had a, a friend. My friend, uh, was Cuban, his name was Candy. His last name was Candido, we called him Candy. And, uh, Candy was with his dad and his dad throws the newspaper down on the fucking table, "Goddammit." And he's like, "Whoa, what's going on?" He's like, "These fucking fags are trying to marry each other." And I remember I was 11 years old and I was like, "Why do you care?" Like he was getting... He threw the newspaper at the table 'cause of gay marriage. I'm like, "Why do you care?" I'm like, "What a fool. You're a grown-ass man and you care about that?" Like who cares if they get married?

Joey Diaz 24:14 He, he was Cuban.

Joe Rogan 24:15 Yeah, I know.

Joey Diaz 24:15 He was Cuban.

Joe Rogan 24:16 But he was mad, bro, but fucking...

Joey Diaz 24:17 Oh yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:18 Fuck him.

Joey Diaz 24:18 Oh yeah. Oh yeah. 100%.

Joe Rogan 24:19 They wanna try to get married 'cause, you know, they've been fucking with gays with marriage forever. It's so wrong, man.

Joey Diaz 24:27 That-

Joe Rogan 24:27 It's so wrong.

Joey Diaz 24:27 There's nothing... Listen, I see it and it doesn't bother me at all.

Joe Rogan 24:30 It's just like everything else.

Joey Diaz 24:32 Doesn't bother me at all.

Joe Rogan 24:33 It's just there's a certain percentage of society that are just born gay, and there's plenty of them to hang out with each other and they should be friends.

Joey Diaz 24:42 Scott!

Joe Rogan 24:42 Yes, Scott.

Joey Diaz 24:43 No.... the, the football player.

Joe Rogan 24:45 Oh, yes.

Joey Diaz 24:46 Scott, that's his first name. Now we gotta work on this last name.

Joe Rogan 24:49 (sighs) Oh, goddamn it.

Joey Diaz 24:50 Scott.

Joe Rogan 24:52 Yeah, I need to call somebody, otherwise this is... Uh, do you got Matty Kirsch's number? We should call Matty Kirsch. He would know.

Joey Diaz 24:57 No.

Joe Rogan 24:58 (sighs) Somebody from- That's gonna drive me nuts.

Joey Diaz 25:01 Somebody from Houston would know 'cause I don't wanna call somebody online and have to describe him, and then people go, "Oh, you described Scott."

Joe Rogan 25:08 Well, I, what I was thinking-

Joey Diaz 25:09 Not Simpson.

Joe Rogan 25:09 ... you were saying was Jeff Scott, Jeff Scott from The Comedy Store.

Joey Diaz 25:12 No, no, no, no, no.

Joe Rogan 25:12 He's another example of a gay guy who was our brother.

Joey Diaz 25:14 Brother.

Joe Rogan 25:14 He was our brother.

Joey Diaz 25:15 That guy.

Joe Rogan 25:15 That's it. Scott Kennedy.

Joey Diaz 25:17 Scott Kennedy. Look at him with his New Orleans shirt on.

Joe Rogan 25:20 Scott Kennedy was awesome.

Joey Diaz 25:21 Awesome.

Joe Rogan 25:22 Sorry I forgot his name, but he's not around to be embarrassed. (sniffs) How'd he die?

Joey Diaz 25:28 He's 50. I don't know. Look at him with Craig Ferguson.

Joe Rogan 25:29 He always had, uh, football jerseys on.

Joey Diaz 25:31 Always. He had-

Joe Rogan 25:31 I mean, that guy did not look gay. Like, he looked like-

Joey Diaz 25:34 No.

Joe Rogan 25:34 ... a big old football player. Like, you could see him in the backyard, you know, like, like smoking a whole hog with a bunch of boys drinking Bud Lights. (laughs)

Joey Diaz 25:41 But here's the problem. Here's what I felt from Scott. 'Cause I met him in Houston, and then we connected in LA in like 2000.

Joe Rogan 25:48 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 25:48 When he hugged me, I didn't feel threatened.

Joe Rogan 25:50 No, not at all.

Joey Diaz 25:51 When Jeff Scott hugged me-

Joe Rogan 25:52 Never.

Joey Diaz 25:53 ... I never felt threatened.

Joe Rogan 25:54 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Joey Diaz 25:55 I, I have to... Eric Rocha, when he hugs me, my, the kid at The Comedy Store, I hug him with all my fucking heart and I don't even feel that type of shit. I never felt that.

Joe Rogan 26:04 I've only felt that once ever from one comedian, and it was at the Montreal Comedy Festival, and he was drunk and he wouldn't stop. He kept touching me too. Kept touching me and telling me he wanted me to take me upstairs. Yeah, that was very unfortunate because he was just drunk, and I don't even think he thought I was gay, and I don't even think he thought I would do it. I think he was just trying to make me uncomfortable, you know? But he was definitely, like, last call for alcohol, like hitting on people, and he was hammered. But (sighs) I was thinking, like, imagine being a girl and this is happening. Ugh. Where you fear for your life, 'cause I threatened him. I said, "Dude, I'm gonna stomp a fucking hole in your chest if you keep doing this. Leave me alone." And that was enough. But if you're a girl, you can't say that. If a gr- you're a girl, you gotta go, "S- seriously, leave me alone." You gotta find authorities. You gotta g- go to the fucking... go to the front desk, go to the bar, like, the, the, the checkout people and say, "Can you guys call the police please? This guy..." You know what I mean? "I don't know, I don't wanna walk to my car. Can someone walk me to my car?" You gotta be worried about that. That sucks. (smacks lips) But that's rare with guys. That ha- s- that's, uh, happened to me once in 57 years where a guy uncomfortably hit on me-

Joey Diaz 27:15 Me too.

Joe Rogan 27:15 ... and wouldn't stop. One other time at the store, but that wasn't as, (clears throat) as blatant. It was just, he kept touching me. I'm like, "Stop fucking touching me." You know, there's, there's gay guys that, like, push those limits. Like, if you were a girl and a guy kept putting his hand on your leg, you'd be like, "Hey, stop doing that." Like, "Why do you keep grabbing me? Why do you keep touching my body? Why do you keep touching my legs? Stop. That's fucking weird. You're crossing lines and I don't know what other lines you're thinking about crossing. So let's stop this." (imitates tires screeching) (laughs) But that's not most gay people. You know? I have these, uh, friends that I lived next to in California. They're gay and they're super Republican now. It's hilarious. I followed them on Facebook. They're fucking (laughs) super Republican now. They're, they're all, like, in against the Dems, how they've ruined California. 'Cause these guys are... they're a conservative gay couple. They're married, they got a kid, and they're just like, "Enough of this."

Joey Diaz 28:18 (clears throat) The world is changing, brother.

Joe Rogan 28:20 Yeah. Well, that-

Joey Diaz 28:20 It's changed a lot.

Joe Rogan 28:21 ... that's a good thing that the world is changing, you know, because there's... Do you know the guy who invented, um, the Turing test? You know what the Turing test is?

Joey Diaz 28:31 No.

Joe Rogan 28:32 His name's Alan Turing, (sniffs) and he's, um... He wa-... As a scientist, he, he invented a test that they say AI has passed, and this test is where you can talk to a computer and not be able to tell that it's a computer, that it, it behaves like a human. It thinks like a human, it communicates like a human where it's indiscernible. That's the, the Turing test. AI has recently passed the Turing test. Well, this guy, this, this... He was in England when this happened, right, Jamie? Where they, they forced him to take medication. He got arrested for being gay in, like, the 1950s, and they forced him to take medication that made him sterile, made him impotent, so he couldn't have sex. Like, they, they forced him to take, like, hormone blockers that they give to sex offenders. You know, chemical castration-

Joey Diaz 29:19 Right, yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:19 ... when they do that to sex offenders? And then he killed himself. The guy who invented the method of determining whether or not AI has become sentient gets murdered by dumb apes who don't like that he's gay.

Joey Diaz 29:32 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 29:32 How crazy is that? I'm not fucking that story up, right?

Narrator 29:36 That's confirming. (clears throat)

Joe Rogan 29:40 I'm pretty sure that's the story.

Joey Diaz 29:40 When do they give you blockers to, to sexual offenders? When do they give you that?

Joe Rogan 29:44 Well, they don't always do it, you know, but, uh, it's called chemical castration. And by the way, it's the same chemicals, the same drugs that they use on kids when they give them hormone blockers. So when you talk to a, uh, they're talking about a child getting puberty blockers, you know? "Oh, it's totally reversible." The fuck it is. The fuck it is. That's the same shit. It's chemical castration. It's not reversible. That child is never gonna fully develop. If they get on hormone blockers, then when they're 18, they go, "You know what? I think I actually am a man." Too late. Too late because from 13 to 15 you suppressed your testosterone. (clears throat) Okay, here it is. Turing was later convicted by the advice of his brother and his own solicitor, and he entered a plea of guilty. Uh, in the case, Regina versus Turing and Murray was brought to trial on the 31st of March, 1952. Turing was convicted and given a choice between imprisonment and probation. His probation would be conditional on his agreement to undergo hormonal physical changes designed to reduce libido, known as chemical castration. He accepted the option of injections of what was then called stilboestrol, s- um, now known as diethyl... diethylstilboestrol, or DES, a synthetic estrogen. His feminization of his body was continued for the course of one year. The treatment rendered Turing impotent and caused breast tissue to form. In a letter, Turing wrote that, "No doubt, I shall emerge from it all a different man, but quite who, I've not found out." Murray was given a conditional jis- discharge. So, Murray must have been the guy he was having sex with. That's so crazy, man.

Narrator 31:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:30 Arrested for being gay. In 1954 at his house, uh, Turing's housekeeper found him dead. Postmortem was held that evening and determined that he had died from the previous day at age 41 with cyanide poisoning, cited as the cause of death. He had an apple lay half-eaten beside his bed. Although apples not tested for cyanide, it was speculated that this was the means in which Turing had consumed a fatal dose. So he fucking killed himself 'cause they chemically castrated him. You know, founder of computer science and crypto- cryptographer whose work was key to breaking the wartime Enigma codes. So this guy, like, helped the British crack codes. And what'd they do? They injected him with poison so that his dick wouldn't work so he couldn't fuck guys anymore, which is what he wanted. He was... Imagine if th- if they were... everyone was gay, everyone, and you were straight. And you're like, "I don't want any dick. This is crazy." Like, guys keep trying to offer you their dick. Like, "No, no, no, no, is there anything else?" And then you meet a girl and it's like, "Oh, look, they're so soft-"

Narrator 32:36 I know.

Joe Rogan 32:37 "... and so pretty. That's what I like. I like girls." And like, "No, you don't. No, you're gonna take this gay drug until you get that out of your system, or we're gonna chemically castrate you. You can't be having sex with girls." Like, (gasps) "But, uh, but they're so pretty. They're so lovely to be around. I'm so attracted to them." No.

Narrator 32:54 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:54 No, no, no. Only guys.

Narrator 32:56 (clears throat)

Joe Rogan 32:56 That's crazy. That's how stupid some... these people-

Narrator 33:01 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 33:01 ... especially, like, when you get to, like, serious fundamentalist rigid religions which want to throw them off roofs. There's parts... Middle East, they throw them off the roof. The- they round up all the gay guys, whoof, throw them off the roof. And everybody watches and cheers. Yay. Crazy.

Narrator 33:21 Like I said, it's a different world out there, my friend.

Joe Rogan 33:24 It is a different world out there, but it's the world out there that could be just like the world here. It could go this way here. Like, that's what people don't understand. Just how Los Angeles fell apart, the United States could fall apart too, you know. Like, look at Iran. We were looking at Iran the other day and photographs from the 1970s. Girls had miniskirts, they all looked really hot. The guys had no shirts on with six packs, walking down the street, everyone's smiling. Looks like Europe. It looks like you're in Italy. And now, it's a religious-run country. It's run by a dictatorship. Like, you- if you criticize the government, they execute you. They executed an Olympic gold medalist in wrestling.

Narrator 34:00 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:01 Yeah, the UFC even tried to get them to stop. They plead- they pleaded to try to get them to stop. They tried to get Trump to get them to... Or, was it Bi- th- during the Biden administration or the Trump administration? I don't remember. But they tried to get the president to somehow or another talk to Iran and not kill this guy.

Narrator 34:19 They killed him because he spoke against the government?

Joe Rogan 34:21 Allegedly. But you don't even have to really have spoken against the government. That's what's so scary.

Narrator 34:26 (clears throat)

Joe Rogan 34:27 You- you just have to be accused of speaking against the government. I mean, to this day and age, any... Like, a friend of mine's, uh, Twitter account got hacked and, uh, he got phished. They sent him an email.

Narrator 34:37 (sniffs)

Joe Rogan 34:38 And he didn't... You know, he's not that sophisticated with that stuff, and so he got phished. And then I heard he got phished. So, um, I go to my, um, Twitter, just because I never check my DMs, but I did it just 'cause I knew he got phished. And I went into my DM and it was him asking me for my email address after he got phished. So I was like, "This motherfucker. He's trying to get me now." So someone could easily get your account and then... or use, you know, some sort of code cracker to figure out your code, then start posting stuff for you against the government, especially if you're in Iran. Like, they- they probably already have all your passcodes for everything over there. They've probably been, like, spying on everybody's computer from the jump. They probably just go to the database, "What's Joey Diaz's Facebook password?" Okay, post a bunch of shit there about these gover- the people in government should all be lined up and shot, they- they all suck dicks secretly. (laughs)

Narrator 35:32 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:33 They're- they're all eating babies. Just make them say something like that, and then let's go round them up. And then, if you don't have any due process, that's the kind of shit that dictators do. They just round you up.

Narrator 35:45 Wow.

Joe Rogan 35:46 This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. It's not always fun to talk numbers. I get it. But it can be useful. Like, seeing how much you spend on groceries or entertainment in a month, that's good to know when you're creating a budget. If you run a business, you probably want to keep track of wages, cash flow, profit margins, growth rate, and so on. But here's another stat you may want to pay close attention to. According to ZipRecruiter, 76% of employers plan to expand their headcount this year. That's a ton of time going into hiring. If you're one of those businesses, stay on top of it with ZipRecruiter. Their latest feature, ZipIntro, is exactly what you need. Try it for free at ziprecruiter.com/rogan. ZipIntro lets you post jobs and start talking to qualified candidates the very next day, saving you time. It gives you the power to quickly go through top talent and set up back-to-back calls. Just pick who you want to talk to and a time, and ZipIntro will help make it happen. Save time hiring for 2025 with ZipIntro. Just go to ziprecruiter.com/rogan right now to try ZipIntro for free. Again, that's ziprecruiter.com/rogan. ZipIntro. Post jobs today, talk to qualified candidates tomorrow.... Dunkin scared the shit out of me. We were talking about this the other day, about Ukraine and, and Russia. He's like, "You know, there's people in Russia that are just in Russia because they tweeted against the government. And you know what they do with those people? They put them in prison. And you know what happens when the war breaks out? They give them the option, like, you could either be in jail forever or you can go fight in the war." And so, they go to the front line and they get killed by American weapons, guys who were tweeting against Putin. It's like, you can use it to get rid of his political enemies. Crazy. And this is all while you and I, at the same time, hanging out in Boston ... or hanging out in Austin, rather, eating barbecue, you know? Like, it could go that way here, too. Just like it went that way in Iran, it could go that way in the United States. Just like LA fell apart. LA 20 years ago was amazing.

Joey Diaz 37:58 Amazing.

Joe Rogan 37:58 Do you remember LA in 2005? We were having the time of our lives.

Joey Diaz 38:02 96, 97.

Joe Rogan 38:03 Oh my God. We were having the time of our lives.

Joey Diaz 38:06 Unbelievable.

Joe Rogan 38:06 The restaurants were great. There was music playing everywhere. It was fun. There was a lot of great comedy. We had a good group of guys we were all hanging out with. LA was great. Yeah, there was still some traffic, but you know, it was the weather was great, people were generally pretty nice. A lot nicer than they were on the East Coast. It's not even the same place anymore. And that can happen anywhere. That can happen in the United States. If something terrible happens in the United States, new laws get passed, new restrictions, that can happen anywhere. That's why I talk about it so much. People are like, "Why do you obsess about it so much?" 'Cause you need to be paying attention. Because when it's too late, when they've already got complete control of what you can say on social media, and they got you locked down, you're in trouble, you're in trouble. Because so many other things are coming that they're aware of, and the big one is automation. Joey, when automation comes, and this is what, um, Andrew Yang was kind of running on when he was running for president, and I had him in, and it was a very interesting conversation 'cause it was something that I hadn't considered.

Joey Diaz 39:10 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 39:10 That all these jobs are gone. Do you know there's parts of the world like, uh, there's ports in China now where it's 100% controlled by robots? There's a few people that run around doing maintenance and stuff, but everything screens, everything is super efficient. These robots pick up the packages. They make an inventory of everything's in there, everything gets logged into the computer. They (imitates power moving) put it into these trucks (imitates power moving) and before you know it, they're gonna have electric trucks that drive themselves.

Joey Diaz 39:38 That's why the strike happened in Jersey, all over, with the Teamsters-

Joe Rogan 39:41 Yes.

Joey Diaz 39:41 ... with the longshoremen.

Joe Rogan 39:42 Yes.

Joey Diaz 39:43 Because they know it.

Joe Rogan 39:43 They know.

Joey Diaz 39:44 They don't have much left.

Joe Rogan 39:45 They don't have much time left.

Joey Diaz 39:46 They don't have much time.

Joe Rogan 39:46 They don't have much time left.

Joey Diaz 39:47 It's fucking crazy how industry has just dwindled in this country.

Joe Rogan 39:52 I know.

Joey Diaz 39:53 You know, and Americans really don't see that. See, 'cause everybody's fucking into traveling and being cool. The gift that I had from doing comedy was I really got to see the country.

Joe Rogan 40:03 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 40:03 I really got to see the ins and outs. And when I was a feature act, I would ask questions. You know, like, when you don't sit in a hotel all day and you just go out and you go to a movie theater, and-

Joe Rogan 40:12 Right.

Joey Diaz 40:12 ... you ask questions. And people tell you, "Oh my God, that's a great restaurant. Go there." You know, you look at cities like Cleveland. Okay, I don't know if a lot of people know this. 20 years ago, with all the jokes and shit, Cleveland had more Puerto Ricans than New York City.

Joe Rogan 40:27 Really?

Joey Diaz 40:27 Because there was a fucking car plant there.

Joe Rogan 40:30 Oh.

Joey Diaz 40:31 And they were building cars there. You know, I remember being a fucking kid and going to Detroit for a basketball tournament or something stupid. And seeing that city, it was 1976, '77, that city was fucking booming.

Joe Rogan 40:42 Detroit was one of the richest cities in the world.

Joey Diaz 40:44 Booming.

Joe Rogan 40:45 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 40:45 It was the murder capital at the time. Booming.

Joe Rogan 40:46 Was it still even back then?

Joey Diaz 40:48 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:49 Wow.

Joey Diaz 40:49 'Cause when I met my buddy in the '80s, it was, he was from Detroit and it was the murder capital. But '75, '76, that city was booming, bro.

Joe Rogan 40:55 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 40:56 You know, Buffalo, New York, booming. Fisher-Price, all these other companies left.

Joe Rogan 41:01 Mm.

Joey Diaz 41:01 You know, that's what I saw. Cleveland, Pittsburgh.

Joe Rogan 41:05 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 41:06 Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh steel.

Joe Rogan 41:08 Yep.

Joey Diaz 41:10 I went to Pittsburgh two years ago. Half the shit was closed down, brother.

Joe Rogan 41:13 Yep.

Joey Diaz 41:13 You know? So when I saw-

Joe Rogan 41:15 Youngstown?

Joey Diaz 41:15 Huh? Same thing, Youngstown? What? No, it was, it was downtown Pittsburgh. Like, just around that area-

Joe Rogan 41:20 Yeah, but Youngstown was like that too, right?

Joey Diaz 41:22 Was it?

Joe Rogan 41:22 Youngstown was a much better environment than it is now.

Joey Diaz 41:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:26 I believe. Tony told me. T- Tony's from Youngstown.

Joey Diaz 41:28 They have destroyed those parts of the country.

Joe Rogan 41:30 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 41:30 Now, I don't know what happened in Nebraska. They could've had their own problems in Wyoming. I just know that little stretch. Buffalo, Cleveland, you know, fucking Cincinnati.

Joe Rogan 41:40 Yep.

Joey Diaz 41:41 All those towns that were booming-

Joe Rogan 41:43 Yep.

Joey Diaz 41:43 ... have just disappeared.

Joe Rogan 41:44 They got gutted. All the jobs went overseas.

Joey Diaz 41:46 So if you gonna bring this country back, it's gotta start with that. We gotta go back to that. That, to make us strong again, and yeah, we're gonna have to fucking sweat it out for 10 months. But you know what? Three years, 10 years ago, I fucking was getting those $100 a day movies and I said, "I'm not doing 'em anymore." For a year, I didn't work as an actor. Then finally I got a high scale movie because I kept saying no-

Joe Rogan 42:07 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 42:08 ... to the low movies. That's how you lift up a little bit. That's how you bump up, by just saying fucking no. We didn't wanna do this all of a sudden, and we need to do this. We need to get this country hopping again.

Joe Rogan 42:19 Well, the-

Joey Diaz 42:19 Hopping.

Joe Rogan 42:19 ... the problem is they gave corporations an opportunity to make more money at the sacrifice of all those jobs in America. And the problem with corporations is they're, they have an obligation to constantly make more money.

Joey Diaz 42:32 And labor.

Joe Rogan 42:33 Okay? Yeah.

Joey Diaz 42:33 Labor.

Joe Rogan 42:33 But n- No, but that's the way you make more money is by having no labor-

Joey Diaz 42:36 No labor.

Joe Rogan 42:37 ... and, and not just that.

Joey Diaz 42:38 And I get it.

Joe Rogan 42:38 No health insurance. This is r- you know, the Ron Po- not Ron Paul, um, the, what's his name? Ross Perot. Ross Perot, uh, talked about that. We were talking about it with Ron White the other day, that he was explaining that if you change these regulations and make it cheaper and easier for these people to go and make ... He said, "You're gonna hear a giant sucking sound as all the businesses go south." And that's exactly what happened.

Joey Diaz 43:01 That's exactly what happened. No-

Joe Rogan 43:02 And he called that in the 1990s.

Joey Diaz 43:04 That was my boy.

Joe Rogan 43:05 Yeah. I voted for him.

Joey Diaz 43:06 I love Ross Perot. Always did, always.

Joe Rogan 43:09 He-

Joey Diaz 43:09 That's a real American right there.

Joe Rogan 43:11 He was. They threatened him, dude. They, they threatened his, his family. Like, he pulled out of the ... He was gonna run again a second time and he said he's not gonna do it because his family was under threat and, that he considered serious.

Joey Diaz 43:24 ... how it was-

Joe Rogan 43:24 Yeah, he was dangerous, 'cause he, he could ruin the election. Like, he... Bush, they thought, was gonna win a second term. But Ross Perot came around, and the conservative people that didn't really wanna believe in the Republican Party anymore, they're like, "This party's just as full of shit as the left." They saw this Ross Perot guy and they went, "Oh, okay." And he took a considerable amount of the vote, and most of it would be against what Herbert Walker Bush would've got. And then Clinton came along and fucking wasn't even supposed to win that year. Bam, now he's in. Let's go.

Joey Diaz 43:53 Remember, they're paying for this with, th- y- your money.

Joe Rogan 43:56 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 43:56 I'm paying for this with my money.

Joe Rogan 43:58 Exactly.

Joey Diaz 43:58 That was his-

Joe Rogan 43:59 Yes.

Joey Diaz 43:59 ... fucking classic shit. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:00 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 44:01 That was hysterical.

Joe Rogan 44:02 You remember when he had that half-hour show on TV where it explained how the Federal Reserve works?

Joey Diaz 44:08 I don't remember that.

Joe Rogan 44:08 Yeah, he took over a... He bought a, a half-hour of regular primetime TV to explain to people how you're getting fucked.

Joey Diaz 44:17 I got-

Joe Rogan 44:18 He ex- he's explaining all the scams that you're... uh, that, that are being run on you that you don't know about, and this is why I'm run- running for president. I'm like, "Whoa, look at this guy."

Joey Diaz 44:27 That guy fucking did something that a lot of people don't know.

Joe Rogan 44:32 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 44:32 You know, his employees got kidnapped in Iran, and he went in there and took 'em out, and he hired like a, like, uh, uh, Marlon Brando from Apocalypse Now-

Joe Rogan 44:40 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 44:40 ... to, to train his employees.

Joe Rogan 44:43 Really?

Joey Diaz 44:43 Yeah, he was a retired colonel, some badass Vietnam sort of a-

Joe Rogan 44:46 So was his actual, uh, employees that went and got him out?

Joey Diaz 44:49 Yeah, that's the story.

Joe Rogan 44:50 Wow.

Joey Diaz 44:50 He, he trained... He made his employees, "It's a f... We're, we're, we're family."

Joe Rogan 44:55 Whoa.

Joey Diaz 44:55 "We're going home." And he made a promise to the peoples' families that he would have 'em back by Christmas, and he had 'em back by Christmas.

Joe Rogan 45:01 Wow.

Joey Diaz 45:02 And then, uh, Kissinger kept giving him, fucking, a hard time, bunch of people kept giving him a hard time. He did not give a fuck. He goes, "I'm doing it. I gave those people my word." His word was word, dog.

Joe Rogan 45:13 Uh.

Joey Diaz 45:13 How much money was he worth?

Joe Rogan 45:15 Billions. Yeah, he was a billionaire.

Joey Diaz 45:18 Back then? In the-

Joe Rogan 45:19 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 45:19 ... in the '90s already, '80s?

Joe Rogan 45:20 I believe so. How much money was Ross Perot worth?

Narrator 45:24 Uh, he was a billionaire.

Joe Rogan 45:25 Yeah. Which, back then... So 1990 billionaire, it's probably like, it's probably just double the billions, whatever it is.

Joey Diaz 45:33 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 45:33 Probably something like that, or maybe triple the billions.

Joey Diaz 45:35 Was he... Did he get oil money?

Narrator 45:36 At the time, '92, he was the 13th wealthiest man in America, net worth around four billion.

Joe Rogan 45:42 So what is four billion from that time worth today? Let's guess.

Narrator 45:45 Uh, three billion, you have to set it up.

Joey Diaz 45:47 Eight billion.

Joe Rogan 45:48 Eight?

Joey Diaz 45:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:50 I'm gonna say nine.

Narrator 45:50 93, 92, or 81.

Joe Rogan 45:54 I might be way off, though. I'm just... I'm completely guessing.

Narrator 45:59 Just under seven.

Joe Rogan 46:00 Ugh, there you go. We're both wrong. Hmm. So that's a lot of money, though. Still, it's almost double.

Joey Diaz 46:09 Dog, what about the chief of police in my hometown that had this shit on his desk?

Joe Rogan 46:12 Yeah, why'd he do that?

Joey Diaz 46:13 I don't know. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:18 (laughs) Was he proving a point? What was the... What was up with that?

Joey Diaz 46:20 You know, man, I heard he's a good dude, but he's a prankster.

Joe Rogan 46:23 Oh.

Joey Diaz 46:23 He's, he's like a prankster type of dude. He sends fucking-

Joe Rogan 46:26 So he's like Ari Shaffir?

Joey Diaz 46:28 Yeah, he sends, like, packages to your house, and he's one of those dudes, you know?

Joe Rogan 46:32 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 46:33 And, uh, I- I don't know. That's... I- I guarantee it was like a joke and it just blew up, and now it's national. Now you got nowhere to go, you know?

Joe Rogan 46:40 Oh, my god. Did you see what Ari did once when he shoved a note up his ass, then he shitted out on stage and read it?

Narrator 46:51 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:52 (laughs) Look at your face.

Narrator 46:53 Man.

Joey Diaz 46:56 I don't want nobody to read a note out of their ass.

Joe Rogan 46:59 I don't want you shitting in the room with me. What kind of parasites and bugs and fucking-

Joey Diaz 47:03 Dog, he's got hemorrhoids, he's got-

Joe Rogan 47:05 All sorts of stuff is flying through the air. Every breath you breathe is Ari's shit gas flying around.

Joey Diaz 47:12 He's a fucking nut. He has not-

Joe Rogan 47:13 (laughs) He's so crazy.

Joey Diaz 47:14 He has not stopped at all. Like, it is not ending.

Joe Rogan 47:18 No.

Joey Diaz 47:19 I'm going to his thing next week.

Joe Rogan 47:20 He's never growing up.

Joey Diaz 47:21 No, no, he's never growing up.

Joe Rogan 47:22 It's not happening.

Joey Diaz 47:24 But he's getting married, right?

Joe Rogan 47:25 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 47:25 Or he got married, or something like that? So...

Joe Rogan 47:26 He's already married.

Joey Diaz 47:27 Yeah, I'm going to his-

Joe Rogan 47:28 He just got a little celebration.

Joey Diaz 47:29 Yeah, I'm going to his anniversary party and shit. What... I don't even know what the fuck it is.

Joe Rogan 47:34 (gulps) Um, it's gonna be a, a, a fucking carnival of psychopaths. (laughs)

Joey Diaz 47:38 Dog, I was telling you the other night, I got really fucking high. I got home and I couldn't sleep, and I started watching old fights. I even watched a Pepino-Cuevas fight.

Joe Rogan 47:48 Oh, yeah.

Joey Diaz 47:49 That dude was fast.

Joe Rogan 47:50 Yeah, he was good.

Joey Diaz 47:51 He was good. And I watched-

Joe Rogan 47:52 You ever see him versus Tommy Hearns?

Joey Diaz 47:55 No.

Joe Rogan 47:55 See if you can find Pepino-Cuevas versus Tommy Hearns.

Joey Diaz 47:59 Well, I watched-

Joe Rogan 47:59 I'm 90% sure that's who I'm talking about.

Joey Diaz 48:02 Pepino-Cuevas was, I think a little thinner of a guy. I don't know.

Joe Rogan 48:05 Wasn't he at 47? Maybe I'm wrong.

Joey Diaz 48:09 Thomas Hearns was at 47.

Joe Rogan 48:10 Yes. He started his career at 47 and went all the way up to light heavyweight.

Joey Diaz 48:15 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 48:15 Yeah. Pepino-Cuevas versus Tommy Hearns, one of the most memorable moments of the early days of, uh, Tommy Hearns', uh, like, when he was, like, at the peak of his powers. Tommy Hearns was nuking people, man. Just nuking people. He had such a reach and such width for 45. He was such a physical freak, and he was big but he had cr- I mean, long and skinny, but crazy power. Which, like, generally, like, thin guys don't have the same kind of power as, like, the muscular guys. But Tommy Hearns was kind of like Deontay Wilder. He was both thin and muscular at the same time. And so... you know, his sk- real skinny legs, man. But my god, the fucking torque that guy had in his punches. You gotta think of the leverage, 'cause his shoulders are so wide. So it's... when he twists his hips, and he's got those long arms coming your way with all those fucking back muscles and the core engaged, fucking blam.

Joey Diaz 49:15 Hey, Blam, when was the last time-

Joe Rogan 49:17 Whoo.

Joey Diaz 49:17 ... there was a fight like this in Detroit?

Joe Rogan 49:20 Well, Tommy's from Detroit.

Joey Diaz 49:21 No, no, but I'm saying, they don't even have fights like this in Detroit, they're so-

Joe Rogan 49:24 They don't.

Joey Diaz 49:24 ... poor now.

Joe Rogan 49:25 Oh, is this, was this in Detroit?

Joey Diaz 49:26 Yeah, it was in Detroit.

Joe Rogan 49:27 Oh, wow. Well, that's Tommy's hometown, you know?He was hunting people. You ever see him knock out Roberto Duran?

Narrator 49:35 Oh, I watched it-

Joe Rogan 49:36 Ooh.

Narrator 49:36 That's what I was watch- I watched-

Joe Rogan 49:38 Ooh.

Narrator 49:38 Listen to the triple feature I watched. I watched Duran, Hagler. Hagler-

Joe Rogan 49:43 Oh!

Narrator 49:44 ... turns- Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:45 Back that up a sec, back that up a sec. Look, he's measuring him with his left. Watch this. He's measuring him, and watch this. Boom!

Narrator 49:53 Holy shit.

Joe Rogan 49:54 Oh, my goodness, son.

Narrator 49:57 Holy shit.

Joe Rogan 49:57 Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. That Tommy Hearns, that kinda power was crazy. Yeah, you better stop that fight. My goodness. Tommy Hearns-

Narrator 50:11 That went right down the fucking pipe.

Joe Rogan 50:12 ... was all, he was a one-hitter quitter. Did he faceplant Roberto Duran?

Narrator 50:17 Bro, him and Hagler were on fucking war.

Joe Rogan 50:18 Ooh.

Narrator 50:18 I watched that fight-

Joe Rogan 50:19 What a crazy fight.

Narrator 50:20 ... how they stopped and roll it back, keep rolling it back now.

Joe Rogan 50:22 The crazy thing about that fight is, they, they did not box at all. They went to war. They went to-

Narrator 50:28 They just did.

Joe Rogan 50:28 There was no boxing, slipping. There was no feinting. Marvin Hagler just said, "Fuck you," and ran at him. (laughs) He just ran at him, and just fucking, just started smashing.

Narrator 50:42 It was nonstop.

Joe Rogan 50:44 Yeah. He got hit hard, too.

Narrator 50:44 That was, like, a minute and a half where it was non-fucking-stop.

Joe Rogan 50:47 Tommy broke his hand in the first round. So in the first round, when they first come out of the gate...

Narrator 50:54 Yeah, the greatest round of boxing. Look at this shit.

Joe Rogan 50:56 Yeah.

Narrator 50:56 Yep.

Joe Rogan 50:57 God, Hagler was good. He's another one who died right after the vaccine.

Narrator 51:03 We're under way.

Joe Rogan 51:04 Look at this.

Narrator 51:04 Look at that.

Joe Rogan 51:04 Right away, right hook, to the body, just charging, charging forward, charging forward. "Fuck this, fuck this boxing on the outside, I'm trying to get in there." Boom, to the body again. Boom, right hand. Boom. They're just go into fucking war, dude. Right here. I mean, high profile, two world champions, completely throwing it all out the window, just wailing on each other.

Narrator 51:30 ... wants it all here.

51:33 Holy shit, Joe.

Joe Rogan 51:35 Boom, left hand. Boom, boom.

Narrator 51:38 Now, we got a taste.

Joe Rogan 51:40 The thing about Hagler was, his discipline was fucking supreme, man. That never got, that guy never got out of shape. He always could break guys, break their will. Boom, boom, boom. So by this time, Tommy probably already has a broken hand. So he broke it on Hagler's head somewhere in the first. So now he's throwing the jabs, so I bet his hand's already broken. See? It's all left hands now. He threw that right hand, but he was weak, you know?

Narrator 52:06 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:06 He didn't, he didn't really hurt him with the right hand. He's, like, pulling it back as he's throwing it.

Narrator 52:10 ... throw that uppercut too. He's doing the right thing now.

Joe Rogan 52:12 See? He's just trying to touch him with that right hand. That, that left hand is all he's got left. His right hand is cooked.

Narrator 52:17 ... upper early on also. There's another good straight away.

Joe Rogan 52:21 And Hearns has decided to start moving and boxing, which is not, like, his style.

Narrator 52:25 ... his movements. He's trying to, uh, throw Hagler off balance.

Joe Rogan 52:28 See? Like, even when he's landing that right hand, he's got no power behind it now.

Narrator 52:33 Both fighters are really off balance. Hagler leading with the right-

Joe Rogan 52:36 And Sugar Ray Leonard's talking shit in the commentary. (laughs)

Narrator 52:39 "Both fighters are unbalanced."

52:43 Watch for Hagler's hook. Now that was the right hand of Tommy Hearns, and it did catch Hagler, but he didn't take a backward step there.

Joe Rogan 52:48 Hagler could take a shot too, better than anybody.

Narrator 52:51 Tommy Hearns is trying to do something.

Joe Rogan 52:52 He only has one knockdown accredited to him his entire career, but it wasn't a knockdown. He fought Juan Roldan, and Ron- Juan Roldan, like, kinda cuffed him in the back of the neck and, like, pushed him forward, and Hagler fell forward and touched the ground, and the referee mistakenly called it a knockdown. The only time he's ever been down. Took bombs from the greatest punchers in the division. Beat everybody except Sugar Ray. And I think the only reason why he lost to Sugar Ray was, I think the fix was in that fight, son. I watched that fight many times.

Narrator 53:22 Many times.

Joe Rogan 53:23 Yeah, there's something about it, something about it. And then Hagler leaves and goes to become a movie star in Italy. Come on. And his trainers are the Petronelli Brothers from Brockton, Massachusetts? Come on. Shut the fuck up. You know how much money was on Hagler to win, probably? You know? It probably was some sort of a deal, like, "Look, the odds are very favorable in Hagler's direction, and we can get a bet on Leonard. We can clean up here. We can get Marvin to just, like, you know... Don't put him away. Just touch him a little bit, touch him." He never has him hurt, never has him hurt in the whole fight. Just... He was so good. I just, it didn't seem right. It seemed like almost he was, like, sparring sometimes. Hard to say, though. Sugar Ray was so good too.

Narrator 54:11 Really good.

Joe Rogan 54:11 The guy could come back after all those years off, you know? He had one fight, got dropped, said he was retiring, and then comes back and decides he's gonna fight Hagler, and then he wins. And then Hagler's like, "I'm done. I'm done. I'm gonna go to Italy and make terrible movies." (laughs) You ever see those Marvin Hagler movies?

Narrator 54:32 No.

Joe Rogan 54:32 Oh, you gotta see some clips.

Narrator 54:34 No.

Joe Rogan 54:34 Joey, they're the dumbest movies of all time.

Narrator 54:36 No.

Joe Rogan 54:36 Hagler punches people, they go flying through the air. (laughs)

Narrator 54:39 No, I'm not watching that. I love Marvin Hagler too much.

Joe Rogan 54:42 No, they're fun. Look, he was having a good time. I bet he was a huge star in Italy, but that's, that, to me, it's like everything seems fishy. The fight seemed fishy to me, the decision seemed fishy to me. And then Hagler goes off and becomes a movie star and I go, "Okay." In Italy? How does that happen? How do you get connected... How does that happen? Look how bad this movie is.

Narrator 55:09 Clint Eastwood called me.

Joe Rogan 55:10 Look how bad this movie is. Look at this.

Narrator 55:12 ... all the power of Commando.

55:14 The world has to know what's happening here.

55:16 It's the thrill-packed feature action fans are waiting for.

55:20 I want those Indios.

55:22 Marvelous Marvin Hagler returns from the original Indio. Indio 2: The Revolt. The jungle is shrinking.

Joe Rogan 55:30 (laughs)

Narrator 55:30 They've been steering clear of the highway towards jungle.

Joey Diaz 55:33 ... made by the mine. (movie scene playing)

Narrator 55:34 And greed is spreading. You had better start praying to your god that we finish the highway before the rainy season. (movie scene playing) Here, only one man is mean enough. I know many of us may die. But it is better to die than to live like slaves. Mad enough.

55:49 Tell them the days of running and hiding are over.

Joe Rogan 55:51 (laughs)

Narrator 55:51 This is your land.

Joe Rogan 55:53 (laughs)

Narrator 55:54 And 3... Tough guy. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 55:56 (laughs)

Narrator 55:56 Will you lead us, my friend? Sometimes...

Joe Rogan 55:59 It's hilarious.

Joey Diaz 56:00 I, I don't see one Italian. There's not one fucking Italian.

Joe Rogan 56:04 That guy. (laughs)

Joey Diaz 56:05 That guy, that guy.

Joe Rogan 56:06 (laughs) That guy with his mustache. "That was Sergio. I gotta be in this movie. You ki-... You hitting me with a left hand. Come on. I got one scene." Hilarious.

Joey Diaz 56:17 Wow. I didn't even know that shit.

Joe Rogan 56:19 Yeah. That guy was my hero when I was a kid.

Joey Diaz 56:21 And they didn't even make him, like, a Shaft or anything. They made him go into, like, the fucking... I can see why he put him with kind of the black movies-

Joe Rogan 56:27 It's an Italian movies. It's an Italian movie.

Joey Diaz 56:30 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 56:30 They made them in Italy. There was a lot of movies being made in Italy. That's why they call those spaghetti Westerns, right? You know that.

Joey Diaz 56:35 Did you ever hear of those stor- like, how interesting that is?

Joe Rogan 56:39 The Sergio Leone movies?

Joey Diaz 56:40 Well, the, I, I just saw something about it maybe eight months ago. But there's a thing in my, on channel 11, in Jersey, on Saturdays, called I Am. And every week, they have somebody else on. And it's a brilliant show. I am Bruce Lee-

Joe Rogan 56:53 Oh.

Joey Diaz 56:53 ... I Am this, I Am that.

Joe Rogan 56:55 Oh, cool.

Joey Diaz 56:56 It's just brilliant. And they had... What were we just talking about?

Joe Rogan 57:00 Marvin Hagler?

Joey Diaz 57:01 No. They had an I Am about somebody. Oh! Uh, Clint Eastwood.

Joe Rogan 57:06 Clint Eastwood.

Joey Diaz 57:07 And it was how he would go and shoot the movies, and then they would send him the films, and he'd have to do ADR in LA.

Joe Rogan 57:13 Oh, really?

Joey Diaz 57:14 Fucking interesting shit. I didn't know anything about this stuff.

Joe Rogan 57:17 So, why did he have to do AD-... So, ADR, what does that stand for?

Joey Diaz 57:20 ADR-

Joe Rogan 57:20 It's for voice work.

Joey Diaz 57:21 ... when you put your voice on it. Okay.

Joe Rogan 57:22 Voice work. What does it stand for, though?

Narrator 57:23 Automated Dialogue Replacement.

Joe Rogan 57:24 Thank you-

Joey Diaz 57:25 So that's-

Joe Rogan 57:25 ... audio engineer. (laughs)

Joey Diaz 57:26 When he shot the movies-

Joe Rogan 57:28 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 57:28 ... he was just talking.

Joe Rogan 57:29 Right.

Joey Diaz 57:29 So then, when he'd get them after they put them together-

Joe Rogan 57:32 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 57:32 ... he would lay the American in them.

Joe Rogan 57:34 Oh, I see.

Joey Diaz 57:35 And how-

Joe Rogan 57:36 I see.

Joey Diaz 57:36 ... you know, he would send them back and they would send him back, and then-

Joe Rogan 57:39 So, when he shot the movies, he wasn't even speaking? He had to speak over it?

Joey Diaz 57:42 Over it or something.

Joe Rogan 57:43 When he got it, wow.

Joey Diaz 57:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:45 'Cause it... Wow. They probably had it dubbed in Italian.

Joey Diaz 57:49 But you gotta remember, all the... That... Listen, I'm a big fan of that era of movies.

Joe Rogan 57:53 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 57:53 That's my era of movies.

Joe Rogan 57:55 Oh, I love 'em.

Joey Diaz 57:55 Those, those people. And, oh, you know what I watched the other night?

Joe Rogan 57:59 What?

Joey Diaz 57:59 You haven't seen this movie in 30 fucking years.

Joe Rogan 58:02 What?

Joey Diaz 58:02 None of your's.

Joe Rogan 58:03 What, what?

Joey Diaz 58:03 And when you put it on, you're gonna shit.

Joe Rogan 58:04 What?

Joey Diaz 58:05 One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

Joe Rogan 58:06 I haven't seen that in forever.

Joey Diaz 58:08 Dog, they got seven stars in that movie.

Joe Rogan 58:10 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 58:10 Like, you... Babbit, B- B- B- B- B- Charlie Babbit, Martini-

Joe Rogan 58:14 Mm-hmm.

Joey Diaz 58:14 ... fucking, the guy from Jersey. What's his name that was in Taxi, the little guy? He's still around.

Narrator 58:19 Danny DeVito.

Joe Rogan 58:19 Oh, Danny DeVito's-

Joey Diaz 58:20 Hey, Danny DeVito was in that, dog.

Joe Rogan 58:21 ... in that? Really?

Joey Diaz 58:21 Fucking-

Joe Rogan 58:22 Wow.

Joey Diaz 58:22 ... the dude with the big head. Look at the-

Joe Rogan 58:24 Wow.

Joey Diaz 58:24 ... fucking cast on this.

Joe Rogan 58:25 Christopher Lloyd.

Joey Diaz 58:27 Wow.

Joe Rogan 58:27 Bro, look at the-

Joey Diaz 58:28 Will Sampson.

Joe Rogan 58:28 Ca-... Oh, that's the dude!

Joey Diaz 58:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:30 That's our boy-

Joey Diaz 58:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:31 ... from The Outlaw Josey Wales.

Joey Diaz 58:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:33 Jesus.

Joey Diaz 58:33 These are my words of life.

Joe Rogan 58:34 Yeah, that's Jesus.

Joey Diaz 58:35 And also my words of death. How the fuck?... He made three movies, this, Outlaw Josey Wales, and fucking some other movie. He was in three fucking brilliant movies, that dude.

Joe Rogan 58:45 Yeah, that guy was in a lot of movies.

Joey Diaz 58:46 Bro, this movie is fucking hilarious.

Narrator 58:53 ... that don't make a bit of sense to me. (movie scene playing)

Joey Diaz 58:58 This will never happen again.

Joe Rogan 59:02 That guy, by the way, is a normal guy in today's society.

Joey Diaz 59:05 Who?

Joe Rogan 59:06 Jack Nicholson.

Joey Diaz 59:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:07 Like, you couldn't ever get him in a mental health... They'd be like, "This guy's fine. Let him out." Like, there's-

Joey Diaz 59:14 Oh, come on. You're not gonna sit there now.

Joe Rogan 59:15 ... more fucked up guys right now-

Joey Diaz 59:16 You're not gonna sit there now.

Joe Rogan 59:16 ... than that guy that are tending bar on 6th Street right now.

Joey Diaz 59:20 And this movie starts politically incorrect. Like, they, they couldn't make this today like this.

Joe Rogan 59:24 No.

Joey Diaz 59:25 And I'm surprised they haven't tried to remake this movie. But-

Joe Rogan 59:28 But, you know, they're... The (laughs) the guy who made, uh, um, Home Alone said that he wanted to cut Trump-

Joey Diaz 59:37 Trump from it.

Joe Rogan 59:38 ... out of the scene, but he's worried that he'd get sent in prison if he did it. (laughs)

Joey Diaz 59:43 Because he keeps getting aggravated. People annoy him and it's...

Joe Rogan 59:46 I think they cut it out of it in Canada. I think the Ca- Canadian version of, uh, Ho-... Is it Home Alone 2?

Joey Diaz 59:52 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 59:52 Yeah, Home Alone 2.

Joey Diaz 59:53 Bro, you know how many TV shows Trump did over the years? I've seen, I see him once-

Joe Rogan 59:57 I know, and it's like-

Joey Diaz 59:57 ... a fucking month on something.

Joe Rogan 59:58 ... they have to say that. They have to say that.

Joey Diaz 1:00:00 No, I get it.

Joe Rogan 1:00:00 It's part of their liberal identity. You have to be united. (sighs)

Joey Diaz 1:00:05 But like I was telling you, that the people that I grew up liking, and so do you, that's what I liked about them. That they had to go somewhere else to become stars. And when they came back to the United States, they were like, "We're fucking you in the ass now." That's Clint Eastwood, Charles Bronson. Steve McQueen, not as much. He just wanted to fuck everybody in the ass, you know?

Joe Rogan 1:00:31 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:00:31 Steve McQueen was just like, "You're sucking my dick either way. I'm doing what I want." You know? They don't even have that. Like, when was the last time you... The worst thing we've had in Hollywood in 20 years is when Brad Pitt made the movie with Angelina Jolie and he never came back. Like poor Jennifer Aniston was waiting with flowers and slippers. That motherfucker never came back.

Joe Rogan 1:00:50 She's a temptress.

Joey Diaz 1:00:52 The first one was when Steve McQueen took that girl from the head of fucking Paramount-

Joe Rogan 1:00:58 Oh, yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:00:59 ... and then did a movie under his fucking nose. That, that is something that they will cancer you... They couldn't can-... They couldn't do nothing to him.

Joe Rogan 1:01:06 Well, he was one of the rare movie stars back then.

Joey Diaz 1:01:08 There was none of them movie stars.

Joe Rogan 1:01:09 They couldn't do anything to him.

Joey Diaz 1:01:10 When there's a, an actual movie star in 1979, like, there's not a lot of those people. You need them to sell tickets. People don't know new people. They're not online. You know? You gotta, like, know, "Oh, it's a Steve McQueen movie," and you go see it. But if you... Like, "Oh, who's the, who's the star of the movie? I never heard of the guy. Fuck this movie. Oh, look over here. There's a Clint Eastwood movie. Let's go to see that." Like, stars were everything back then. Everything back then.

Joe Rogan 1:01:34 Everything.... it's interesting because some great movies now don't have any stars in them. Like Mel Gibson, when he made Apocalypto, you don't know anybody in that movie.

Joey Diaz 1:01:43 That's a great movie.

Joe Rogan 1:01:44 It's a great movie.

Joey Diaz 1:01:45 Great movie.

Joe Rogan 1:01:45 And you don't know anybody in that movie. It's perfect. It's perfect 'cause you really believe the characters that way. I don't have to go, "Oh, it's Robert Downey Jr. Oh, he's doing a great job pretending to be that scientist." No, no, it's some guy that might actually be a scientist, you know?

Joey Diaz 1:02:00 Yeah, I don't know. But no, they didn't do anything for Steve McQueen. Charles Bronson, same way, he was a prick on those movie sets. They wanted everything. They took everything, Joe.

Joe Rogan 1:02:09 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:02:09 It just came out-

Joe Rogan 1:02:10 I'm sure.

Joey Diaz 1:02:10 ... I remember we discussed it last time. They just, they just got released the Steve McQueen riders from his movies.

Joe Rogan 1:02:16 The riders? Yeah. Well, riders are different, for people that don't know, that means, like, all the things that you get when you're on the set. Like-

Joey Diaz 1:02:22 That he requests.

Joe Rogan 1:02:23 ... you could say, "I want M&M's in my green room. I want, you know, Pink Floyd albums." Whatever.

Joey Diaz 1:02:28 Fucking insane.

Joe Rogan 1:02:29 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:02:30 His, his was insane. His suits had to be a certain cut, they had to cost a certain way or he ain't wearing it, Steve McQueen.

Joe Rogan 1:02:37 Some comics have that kinda shit, where you have to have size 11 Jordans waiting for them backstage.

Joey Diaz 1:02:41 Yeah, but you pay for it.

Joe Rogan 1:02:42 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:02:43 Comics are like, "Yeah, I'm not going in there 'til I get my size 12s."

Joe Rogan 1:02:47 Well, okay.

Joey Diaz 1:02:47 You pay for it.

Joe Rogan 1:02:47 Okay. Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:02:48 What's the big deal? "Well, yeah, they gave me some sneakers." No, you didn't.

Joe Rogan 1:02:51 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:02:51 You bought those sneakers, stupid.

Joe Rogan 1:02:52 It comes out of the price.

Joey Diaz 1:02:53 Yeah, they think that, "Oh, they bought me sneakers 'cause I'm special and shit." No.

Joe Rogan 1:02:56 Yeah, but I think it's a thing where you wanna be f- f- you wanna feel like you're being taken care of, like they're getting things for you.

Joey Diaz 1:03:01 Right, yeah. Even though you're paying for it, fuck that.

Joe Rogan 1:03:03 Even though you're paying for it.

Joey Diaz 1:03:03 I don't need... I'll bring my own sneakers.

Joe Rogan 1:03:04 Yeah, "I'll bring my own sneakers."

Joey Diaz 1:03:05 I'm gonna show up and there's a box of snea- "Oh, you got me white sneakers? I'm not gonna perform."

Joe Rogan 1:03:09 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:03:09 'Cause that shit started happening.

Joe Rogan 1:03:11 Oh, really?

Joey Diaz 1:03:11 Yeah. People were like, "I want black Jordan-" Yeah. "... and all of a sudden they're white. I ain't getting on stage 'til I get my black Jordans." Now they gotta run around town and...

Joe Rogan 1:03:19 I've heard people turn limos back-

Joey Diaz 1:03:22 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:03:22 ... back in the day because it was the wrong color limo.

Joey Diaz 1:03:24 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:24 "I ordered a white limo. What is this bullshit?"

Joey Diaz 1:03:27 And who fucking drove you when you lived under that fucking bridge?

Joe Rogan 1:03:30 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:03:30 Just get in the goddamn fucking car, cocksucker.

Joe Rogan 1:03:33 People love making demands, right? Like, "It has to be this way or that's it, I walk." People love making demands.

Joey Diaz 1:03:41 And that's what happens in that fucking town, in Hollywood.

Joe Rogan 1:03:44 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:03:44 And people just go, "Okay." No, go fuck yourself.

Joe Rogan 1:03:47 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:03:47 You want that? Bring it yourself. And once you start doing that, that... Listen, I understood what you said before about Austin, and it makes sense to me now. It's like the day I took my daughter to school and there was moms hugging trees in Studio City, crying.

Joe Rogan 1:04:01 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:04:02 If I was a redneck, I'd show up with a shotgun that day and just shoot it-

Joe Rogan 1:04:05 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:04:05 ... and watch those moms just fly. That's where the guns keep the liberals in check.

Joe Rogan 1:04:10 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:04:10 Okay? That's when you come in and go, "You wanna hug trees?"

Joe Rogan 1:04:12 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:04:12 Chk, chk, boom! And fucking start shooting off cap- dog, they were hugging tree- right in front of the school my daughter and Birch went. They were-

Joe Rogan 1:04:19 Why were they hugging trees?

Joey Diaz 1:04:20 Because they were gonna cut the trees down.

Joe Rogan 1:04:22 Oh.

Joey Diaz 1:04:22 We went to the school and the cops were there, and women were hugging the trees-

Joe Rogan 1:04:26 Oh, no.

Joey Diaz 1:04:27 ... holding each other's hands, crying. This is why I had to get the fuck outta there.

Joe Rogan 1:04:32 Ah.

Joey Diaz 1:04:32 Crying. And that's where a guy with a gun would've been perfect, a big fucking gun, chk, chk. "You guys like trees so much." Boom. And those bitches would've been running to that fucking coffee shop, crying. They didn't know what happened.

Joe Rogan 1:04:47 Leaves flying.

Joey Diaz 1:04:47 Fuck those trees, Jack!

Joe Rogan 1:04:49 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:04:49 That's what you need, a gun in California-

Joe Rogan 1:04:51 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:04:51 ... to tell these motherfuckers, "Shut the fuck up." You go on Facebook now and I see people I used to hang with in California, and they're talking about other people, "Everybody's so talented and everything's so gracious. And to work with such a great bunch of talented individuals."

Joe Rogan 1:05:06 Mm.

Joey Diaz 1:05:06 "Thank God they've let my creative juices work." Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

Joe Rogan 1:05:13 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:05:14 Shut the fuck up. What are you talking about? I'd like to smack you now or smack you later. It is... It's so much-

Joe Rogan 1:05:21 Very pretentious.

Joey Diaz 1:05:22 Very. And that's what I don't, I don't miss any... Listen, at all. When I watch any movie now, I can't even stand small talk. Like, that's what I... I didn't even know what small talk was. You know, it was like the night you did a show... What year is... I'm talking, I'm talking to you about Fear... before Fear Factor. You did a show, maybe, at The Wiltern one night?

Joe Rogan 1:05:44 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:05:45 And we left a bunch of people there and they circled you, like Anne Maini and a bunch of other people, and they were talking to you about a deal or something.

Joe Rogan 1:05:52 Mm.

Joey Diaz 1:05:53 And it was like, "Oh, my God, your set was so great." And, and you're supposed to stand there like, "Thank you."

Joe Rogan 1:05:58 Right.

Joey Diaz 1:05:58 I fucking hate that shit.

Joe Rogan 1:06:00 Yeah, they love kissing people's ass.

Joey Diaz 1:06:01 We loved it. Oh, my God. Mimi and I loved it.

Joe Rogan 1:06:05 Yay.

Joey Diaz 1:06:06 Mimi. Victoria and I loved it.

Joe Rogan 1:06:09 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:06:09 We're so happy you invited us. And you have to sit there and go, "Come on, knock it the fuck off."

Joe Rogan 1:06:13 That was in the deal days.

Joey Diaz 1:06:14 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:15 When I'd still be shopping around deals and taking up many deals.

Joey Diaz 1:06:16 Yeah, where they come up to you and talk to you, you had to be like fucking-

Joe Rogan 1:06:20 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:06:20 ... "Hi. Yeah. So how is that? How did that feel?"

Joe Rogan 1:06:23 Yeah. Well, you're still, like, connected to the system, and that was how I was making most of my money. So, I'd make some money from standup, but I would make, like, a couple $100,000 on these deals.

Joey Diaz 1:06:32 On these deals.

Joe Rogan 1:06:32 And that would be my year's money. And then I'd be working with some fucking schlub, making a sitcom that sucked, that never went anywhere (laughs) . I did that for a couple years. So I did that from, like, '99 to 2001. And then Fear Factor started.

Joey Diaz 1:06:51 Newsradio's on at 8:00 PM every night.

Joe Rogan 1:06:53 It's everywhere.

Joey Diaz 1:06:54 I watch it.

Joe Rogan 1:06:54 My kids watch it.

Joey Diaz 1:06:54 I watch it. They think it's-

Joe Rogan 1:06:55 They think it's hilarious.

Joey Diaz 1:06:56 I watch it. I watched my favorite episode couple weeks ago, when he was playing the piano on the fucking Phil Harmon... It was... He was playing the piano on the elevator and it kept opening up the-

Joe Rogan 1:07:06 Oh, that's right (laughs) .

Joey Diaz 1:07:07 ... talk house.

Joe Rogan 1:07:08 (laughs) That was a fun episode. That was a fun show. But that show, show ruined me for other sitcoms. Doing a sitcom after that show, like, why? What? It's not gonna be the same. It's gonna suck. You need the... It's, uh, like, a very rare combination of people to put together a really good sitcom.

Joey Diaz 1:07:26 That was a very good show. It was just... I know that you told me over the years that they kept moving you and they never found a home or something like that. Where you guys from there?

Joe Rogan 1:07:33 Yeah, it moved, like, nine times.

Joey Diaz 1:07:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:34 The show really became popular after it was in syndication. That's when it became popular. It became popular when it was on, you know, 7:00 PM on ABC or whatever the fuck it was, NBC affiliate, you know, when they were just showing the syndicated reruns. That's when it became popular. Way more popular after it was canceled than it was when it was c- on the air.

Joey Diaz 1:07:54 ... hit the wall this year.

Joe Rogan 1:07:55 One of the writers, uh, Lou Morton, every day we'd come to the w- to the table read. He would have a, a T-shirt, like a white T-shirt, and he would write a number on it, and that number was our ratings. And one day he came in, it was like 85. I was like, "85? Really?" He's like, "We're like 85th. We're the 85th show."

Joey Diaz 1:08:14 That's good?

Joe Rogan 1:08:15 Terrible. Th- g- what good is number one? (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:08:19 Oh, no, no, I just didn't... I thought it was-

Joe Rogan 1:08:20 No.

Joey Diaz 1:08:20 ... like a rating system.

Joe Rogan 1:08:21 No, no, no, no, it's the ranked shows in the country. We were like 85 or 88, something like that. It was real bad. Real bad. We were-

Joey Diaz 1:08:29 I know you're watching-

Joe Rogan 1:08:29 ... like on the verge of being canceled.

Joey Diaz 1:08:31 I know you're watching some good shows now.

Joe Rogan 1:08:33 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:08:33 But I'm watching one show, and I'll tell you.

Joe Rogan 1:08:35 What are you watching?

Joey Diaz 1:08:37 There's some people who are dangerous, and then there's Helen Mirren.

Joe Rogan 1:08:41 What are you watching? Oh, the 1923 show?

Joey Diaz 1:08:43 Both of them.

Joe Rogan 1:08:44 Oh, yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:08:44 I just... Mob Land, Mob-

Joe Rogan 1:08:45 Oh, yeah. I heard Mob Land's great.

Joey Diaz 1:08:48 She's fucking great.

Joe Rogan 1:08:49 Yeah, I have not seen that yet.

Joey Diaz 1:08:50 Listen, the Italian mafia movies, they're done.

Joe Rogan 1:08:53 Really?

Joey Diaz 1:08:53 Yeah, they're done. So-

Joe Rogan 1:08:54 (sighs)

Joey Diaz 1:08:54 De Niro just put Alto Knights out. They took it out of the movie theater in two fucking weeks.

Joe Rogan 1:08:58 He put what out?

Joey Diaz 1:08:59 He put a movie called Alto Knights out, where he plays two roles. He plays Frank Costello and somebody else, or Vito Genovese, I don't know exactly.

Joe Rogan 1:09:06 Somebody should've taken De Niro's keys away when he wanted to go out and do political speeches.

Joey Diaz 1:09:11 Well, no. I think that...

Joe Rogan 1:09:13 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:09:13 Listen, you're not gonna s- b- ban a movie because of his political beliefs. I know he-

Joe Rogan 1:09:17 No, but people aren't gonna take him seriously-

Joey Diaz 1:09:18 Yeah. No.

Joe Rogan 1:09:19 ... because of his political beliefs.

Joey Diaz 1:09:20 Well, the way he acted, he dropped some people. Okay. And I get it, but to make $2 million your first week?

Joe Rogan 1:09:27 That's not good.

Joey Diaz 1:09:28 And then, like, three m- million after that, and then they just yanked it. I tried to go just to watch it.

Joe Rogan 1:09:33 It's called Alto Knights?

Joey Diaz 1:09:35 'Cause I heard it's-

Joe Rogan 1:09:35 Have you heard of it, Jamie?

Joey Diaz 1:09:36 Nobody. Came and went.

Joe Rogan 1:09:38 (sighs)

Joey Diaz 1:09:38 Came and fucking went.

Joe Rogan 1:09:40 The problem when these, uh, when people who wanna be taken seriously as actors talk a lot about politics, and talk a lot, and give out opinions, they think that their opinions are very important, and that it's important that they speak out. But the problem with that is, like, you ruin your acting for other people who now think of the stupid shit that you've said instead of thinking you as this character. Let me hear a little of this. Anyways, he's gonna talk. C- come at me.

Narrator 1:10:14 Where do I start? (clapping hands) You're going down a very dangerous road. And we ain't been down dangerous roads before? But that's the risk you take. Me, I take that risk. Yeah, but you're not where I am. I give to charities, I pay my taxes.

Joe Rogan 1:10:30 This actually looks good.

Narrator 1:10:31 ... something. I put you where you are today. It's because of me. Mr. Good Citizen. You wanna be like them? Come on, you ain't like them. They own this country. They're bigger gangsters than we ever could be. All of a sudden, you wanna be half in, half out, have a racket here? You can't have it both ways. You're either in (gun firing) or you're out.

Joe Rogan 1:11:01 That looks good.

Joey Diaz 1:11:02 He must have seen and shot you. I'm telling you.

Joe Rogan 1:11:05 That looks good.

Joey Diaz 1:11:06 I've watched that. The movie is not bad.

Joe Rogan 1:11:09 (laughs) I'm telling you, it's because, uh, De Niro talks too much. (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:11:11 I think that we're not... We're so out of going to the movies every Friday and every S- like they said, nobody knew it came out.

Joe Rogan 1:11:17 Yeah.

Joey Diaz 1:11:17 I didn't even know it came out.

Joe Rogan 1:11:18 Well, COVID killed the movie theaters.

Joey Diaz 1:11:21 Oh, it's, it's a shame.

Joe Rogan 1:11:22 Because they made movies way quicker out on streaming now. All I have to do is wait a month. I can wait a month. One month later, I can watch it at home. I don't have to, like, see somebody, like, texting people right in front of me with their fucking phone blinding white, people talking, "What did he say? What did he say? Do you want any popcorn?"

Joey Diaz 1:11:40 Talking about the movie-

Joe Rogan 1:11:41 Annoying.

Joey Diaz 1:11:41 ... theater I go to, there's never a show there. Not a show. I've never seen anything like that.

Joe Rogan 1:11:47 It's so annoying.

Joey Diaz 1:11:47 I usually go to the last s- screening on Thursday night. Not a show.

Joe Rogan 1:11:52 I mean, most movie theaters, people are polite. Most.

Joey Diaz 1:11:55 No, very nice, where I go, very fu-... I can't believe it.

Joe Rogan 1:11:58 But it's that risk, that risk of one douchebag who fucks it up for everybody.

Joey Diaz 1:12:03 I don't... I won't go see a popular movie. I'm not a, a top raider like that. I like going seeing... I see a movie, I go, "You know what? I wanna go watch that." Some movies I could watch at home now, I don't wanna watch in the fucking thing. Anything with 3D, like Wicked or whatever, I go.

Joe Rogan 1:12:17 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:12:17 I take my mushrooms, I take my daughter. I sit there, she enjoys it, and I fucking have a great time.

Joe Rogan 1:12:21 Wicked was great.

Joey Diaz 1:12:22 Wicked was great. The only thing was-

Joe Rogan 1:12:25 It was great.

Joey Diaz 1:12:25 ... don't go on mushrooms.

Joe Rogan 1:12:27 No?

Joey Diaz 1:12:27 I was so fucked up.

Joe Rogan 1:12:29 How much-

Joey Diaz 1:12:29 The chick is black and green. I couldn't deal with that right off the bat.

Joe Rogan 1:12:32 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:12:33 Where's the black people? Raise your hand. What the fuck? I'm feeling like a racist in here. She can't be black and she can't be green.

Joe Rogan 1:12:39 (sighs)

Joey Diaz 1:12:39 Then Ariana with no eyebrows, that killed me.

Joe Rogan 1:12:42 This is...

Joey Diaz 1:12:42 She had like those blind eyebrows. I'm on fucking mushrooms and this movie won't end.

Joe Rogan 1:12:46 Whoa.

Joey Diaz 1:12:47 It won't end. And-

Joe Rogan 1:12:47 It's a long movie.

Joey Diaz 1:12:48 It's a fucking long movie. But I'm looking at her (laughs) and she's having such a great time.

Joe Rogan 1:12:53 (laughs)

Joey Diaz 1:12:53 When you look at your kids and they're having such a great time, you're like, "I don't give a fuck."

Joe Rogan 1:12:56 I enjoyed it.

Joey Diaz 1:12:57 I fucking-

Joe Rogan 1:12:57 I enjoyed the Barbie movie. How about that?

Joey Diaz 1:13:00 I never saw it. What was-

Joe Rogan 1:13:00 I enjoyed it. I went, I went with my kids. They had a good time. I