Joe Rogan Experience #2309 - Joey Diaz

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast.…

   1. NANarrator0:01

      (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience.

   2. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (instrumental music plays)

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:12

      Let's fucking go.

   4. JDJoey Diaz0:14

      Let's go.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:15

      Joey Diaz, ladies and gentlemen.

   6. JDJoey Diaz0:16

      What's up, beautiful?

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:17

      It's good to see you, my brother.

   8. JDJoey Diaz0:18

      Good to see you. That was great. The club was fucking in rare form last night.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:22

      Oh, last night was packed. It's been packed all week. It's been really fun. Lot of fun shows, you know.

   10. JDJoey Diaz0:28

       I was having a good time.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:29

       Shane, Shane was there last night, or the night before last. You know, you're there tonight. It's, it's been amazing.

   12. JDJoey Diaz0:35

       Are you coming down to it?

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:35

       Holtzman is on fire.

   14. JDJoey Diaz0:37

       He's crazy.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:37

       Holtzman's on fire. Last night he was on fire. (laughs)

   16. JDJoey Diaz0:41

       He is fucking on-

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:41

       Me and Adam Eget were howling. We were watching him from the balcony and howling. Such a good community, Joey. It's so nice out here. So, so, so-

   18. JDJoey Diaz0:49

       And I bumped into Duncan for breakfast.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:51

       He's the best.

   20. JDJoey Diaz0:52

       Like, we just looked at each other. He's like, "What are you doing here, man?" And we sat down.

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:56

       Me and Duncan are gonna corner you and try to get you to move here.

   22. JDJoey Diaz0:58

       No, we're gonna, we're gonna figure it out. We're gonna figure it out.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:00

       Yeah. You guys, you guys, you belong here.

   24. JDJoey Diaz1:02

       Every time I come down here, I see something else that ... Like, I had a great time last night.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:06

       Joe DeRose is here now too.

   26. JDJoey Diaz1:07

       That's what I heard.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:08

       Yeah, he just moved here.

   28. JDJoey Diaz1:09

       Is he gonna bring the sandwich shop down here?

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:10

       Yes, he is. We're gonna open up a sandwich shop out here. He is, rather.

   30. JDJoey Diaz1:13

       That's a good fucking idea.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   <<You got another thing…

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      another thing coming. >>

   2. JDJoey Diaz15:01

      <<You got another thing coming.>> Fucking great album, great shit.

   3. JRJoe Rogan15:03

      That kid never did anything, though.

   4. JDJoey Diaz15:05

      No.

   5. JRJoe Rogan15:05

      He never left the town.

   6. JDJoey Diaz15:06

      No.

   7. JRJoe Rogan15:06

      He fell apart after high school.

   8. JDJoey Diaz15:06

      And here's the weirdest thing about Judas Priest.

   9. JRJoe Rogan15:10

      What?

   10. JDJoey Diaz15:10

       His writing. That's what I fucking died about, his writing, 'cause he would write, and you're thinking he's writing about a woman.

   11. JRJoe Rogan15:18

       He's writing about assholes.

   12. JDJoey Diaz15:19

       He's writing about a man, and he has a song called Burning Up that is so fucking over the top. "I know you feel the same / I know you feel the flame / Burning deep inside of you / Burning you up."

   13. JRJoe Rogan15:35

       Ooh. It's called Chlamydia.

   14. JDJoey Diaz15:35

       "Breaking you down / Breaking you out in a cold sweat / But when you lose control / Of your very soul / Your desire takes over / You'll feel the heat wave / You'll answer my way / And suddenly you'll know / That you're burning up."

   15. JRJoe Rogan15:53

       Ooh.

   16. JDJoey Diaz15:54

       That is a bad mother... When I heard that, I'm like, "Oh-"

   17. JRJoe Rogan15:56

       Let me hear that, Jamie. We'll have to edit this outta the YouTube. For the folks at home, please seek it online. Here we go.

   18. JDJoey Diaz16:05

       Listen to the way it starts. It's like a satellite. (strums guitar)

   19. JRJoe Rogan16:16

       This is back before satellites. Like, before we had modems. Ooh.

   20. JDJoey Diaz16:21

       This is 1980. This is on the Hell Bent for Leather Tour. (strums guitar)

   21. JRJoe Rogan16:36

       You could let songs cook back then, you know? Like Time, Pink Floyd Time? Oh, baby. Guess what just got added to the Spotify playlist?

   22. NANarrator16:50

       You stitched me up good and you cut me down. So I string you up to keep you hanging around. You dish the hot stuff up. You keep me waiting. So I'll play it dirty till your body is breaking. We've got to make love. The time is right. We've got to make love tonight. 'Cause we're burning up. You make me greedy. You won't feed me my food. But I'll make out easy 'cause I see straight through you. You cool me off and hot me up.

   23. JRJoe Rogan17:37

       There you go.

   24. NANarrator17:37

       And I know it's not right.

   25. JRJoe Rogan17:39

       Hot, hot gay love-

   26. JDJoey Diaz17:43

       So, when I read ro-

   27. JRJoe Rogan17:43

       ... coming at ya.

   28. JDJoey Diaz17:44

       When I read those lyrics, I'm like, "That's the most brilliant fucking thing."

   29. JRJoe Rogan17:49

       That's the dark, the darkest thing about gay people today, is that some of them are in the closet, other than homophobia, is that s- so other than, there's genuinely people that hate gays. But that's rare.

   30. JDJoey Diaz18:00

       Nobody hates gays.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Yeah. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      getting puberty blockers, you know? "Oh, it's totally reversible." The fuck it is. The fuck it is. That's the same shit. It's chemical castration. It's not reversible. That child is never gonna fully develop. If they get on hormone blockers, then when they're 18, they go, "You know what? I think I actually am a man." Too late. Too late because from 13 to 15 you suppressed your testosterone. (clears throat) Okay, here it is. Turing was later convicted by the advice of his brother and his own solicitor, and he entered a plea of guilty. Uh, in the case, Regina versus Turing and Murray was brought to trial on the 31st of March, 1952. Turing was convicted and given a choice between imprisonment and probation. His probation would be conditional on his agreement to undergo hormonal physical changes designed to reduce libido, known as chemical castration. He accepted the option of injections of what was then called stilboestrol, s- um, now known as diethyl... diethylstilboestrol, or DES, a synthetic estrogen. His feminization of his body was continued for the course of one year. The treatment rendered Turing impotent and caused breast tissue to form. In a letter, Turing wrote that, "No doubt, I shall emerge from it all a different man, but quite who, I've not found out." Murray was given a conditional jis- discharge. So, Murray must have been the guy he was having sex with. That's so crazy, man.

   2. NANarrator31:30

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan31:30

      Arrested for being gay. In 1954 at his house, uh, Turing's housekeeper found him dead. Postmortem was held that evening and determined that he had died from the previous day at age 41 with cyanide poisoning, cited as the cause of death. He had an apple lay half-eaten beside his bed. Although apples not tested for cyanide, it was speculated that this was the means in which Turing had consumed a fatal dose. So he fucking killed himself 'cause they chemically castrated him. You know, founder of computer science and crypto- cryptographer whose work was key to breaking the wartime Enigma codes. So this guy, like, helped the British crack codes. And what'd they do? They injected him with poison so that his dick wouldn't work so he couldn't fuck guys anymore, which is what he wanted. He was... Imagine if th- if they were... everyone was gay, everyone, and you were straight. And you're like, "I don't want any dick. This is crazy." Like, guys keep trying to offer you their dick. Like, "No, no, no, no, is there anything else?" And then you meet a girl and it's like, "Oh, look, they're so soft-"

   4. NANarrator32:36

      I know.

   5. JRJoe Rogan32:37

      "... and so pretty. That's what I like. I like girls." And like, "No, you don't. No, you're gonna take this gay drug until you get that out of your system, or we're gonna chemically castrate you. You can't be having sex with girls." Like, (gasps) "But, uh, but they're so pretty. They're so lovely to be around. I'm so attracted to them." No.

   6. NANarrator32:54

      (laughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan32:54

      No, no, no. Only guys.

   8. NANarrator32:56

      (clears throat)

   9. JRJoe Rogan32:56

      That's crazy. That's how stupid some... these people-

   10. NANarrator33:01

       Uh-huh.

   11. JRJoe Rogan33:01

       ... especially, like, when you get to, like, serious fundamentalist rigid religions which want to throw them off roofs. There's parts... Middle East, they throw them off the roof. The- they round up all the gay guys, whoof, throw them off the roof. And everybody watches and cheers. Yay. Crazy.

   12. NANarrator33:21

       Like I said, it's a different world out there, my friend.

   13. JRJoe Rogan33:24

       It is a different world out there, but it's the world out there that could be just like the world here. It could go this way here. Like, that's what people don't understand. Just how Los Angeles fell apart, the United States could fall apart too, you know. Like, look at Iran. We were looking at Iran the other day and photographs from the 1970s. Girls had miniskirts, they all looked really hot. The guys had no shirts on with six packs, walking down the street, everyone's smiling. Looks like Europe. It looks like you're in Italy. And now, it's a religious-run country. It's run by a dictatorship. Like, you- if you criticize the government, they execute you. They executed an Olympic gold medalist in wrestling.

   14. NANarrator34:00

       (laughs)

   15. JRJoe Rogan34:01

       Yeah, the UFC even tried to get them to stop. They plead- they pleaded to try to get them to stop. They tried to get Trump to get them to... Or, was it Bi- th- during the Biden administration or the Trump administration? I don't remember. But they tried to get the president to somehow or another talk to Iran and not kill this guy.

   16. NANarrator34:19

       They killed him because he spoke against the government?

   17. JRJoe Rogan34:21

       Allegedly. But you don't even have to really have spoken against the government. That's what's so scary.

   18. NANarrator34:26

       (clears throat)

   19. JRJoe Rogan34:27

       You- you just have to be accused of speaking against the government. I mean, to this day and age, any... Like, a friend of mine's, uh, Twitter account got hacked and, uh, he got phished. They sent him an email.

   20. NANarrator34:37

       (sniffs)

   21. JRJoe Rogan34:38

       And he didn't... You know, he's not that sophisticated with that stuff, and so he got phished. And then I heard he got phished. So, um, I go to my, um, Twitter, just because I never check my DMs, but I did it just 'cause I knew he got phished. And I went into my DM and it was him asking me for my email address after he got phished. So I was like, "This motherfucker. He's trying to get me now." So someone could easily get your account and then... or use, you know, some sort of code cracker to figure out your code, then start posting stuff for you against the government, especially if you're in Iran. Like, they- they probably already have all your passcodes for everything over there. They've probably been, like, spying on everybody's computer from the jump. They probably just go to the database, "What's Joey Diaz's Facebook password?" Okay, post a bunch of shit there about these gover- the people in government should all be lined up and shot, they- they all suck dicks secretly. (laughs)

   22. NANarrator35:32

       (laughs)

   23. JRJoe Rogan35:33

       They're- they're all eating babies. Just make them say something like that, and then let's go round them up. And then, if you don't have any due process, that's the kind of shit that dictators do. They just round you up.

   24. NANarrator35:45

       Wow.

   25. JRJoe Rogan35:46

       This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. It's not always fun to talk numbers. I get it. But it can be useful. Like, seeing how much you spend on groceries or entertainment in a month, that's good to know when you're creating a budget. If you run a business, you probably want to keep track of wages, cash flow, profit margins, growth rate, and so on. But here's another stat you may want to pay close attention to. According to ZipRecruiter, 76% of employers plan to expand their headcount this year. That's a ton of time going into hiring. If you're one of those businesses, stay on top of it with ZipRecruiter. Their latest feature, ZipIntro, is exactly what you need. Try it for free at ziprecruiter.com/rogan. ZipIntro lets you post jobs and start talking to qualified candidates the very next day, saving you time. It gives you the power to quickly go through top talent and set up back-to-back calls. Just pick who you want to talk to and a time, and ZipIntro will help make it happen. Save time hiring for 2025 with ZipIntro. Just go to ziprecruiter.com/rogan right now to try ZipIntro for free. Again, that's ziprecruiter.com/rogan. ZipIntro. Post jobs today, talk to qualified candidates tomorrow.... Dunkin scared the shit out of me. We were talking about this the other day, about Ukraine and, and Russia. He's like, "You know, there's people in Russia that are just in Russia because they tweeted against the government. And you know what they do with those people? They put them in prison. And you know what happens when the war breaks out? They give them the option, like, you could either be in jail forever or you can go fight in the war." And so, they go to the front line and they get killed by American weapons, guys who were tweeting against Putin. It's like, you can use it to get rid of his political enemies. Crazy. And this is all while you and I, at the same time, hanging out in Boston ... or hanging out in Austin, rather, eating barbecue, you know? Like, it could go that way here, too. Just like it went that way in Iran, it could go that way in the United States. Just like LA fell apart. LA 20 years ago was amazing.

   26. JDJoey Diaz37:58

       Amazing.

   27. JRJoe Rogan37:58

       Do you remember LA in 2005? We were having the time of our lives.

   28. JDJoey Diaz38:02

       96, 97.

   29. JRJoe Rogan38:03

       Oh my God. We were having the time of our lives.

   30. JDJoey Diaz38:06

       Unbelievable.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Wow. …

   1. JDJoey Diaz45:00

      he had 'em back by Christmas.

   2. JRJoe Rogan45:01

      Wow.

   3. JDJoey Diaz45:02

      And then, uh, Kissinger kept giving him, fucking, a hard time, bunch of people kept giving him a hard time. He did not give a fuck. He goes, "I'm doing it. I gave those people my word." His word was word, dog.

   4. JRJoe Rogan45:13

      Uh.

   5. JDJoey Diaz45:13

      How much money was he worth?

   6. JRJoe Rogan45:15

      Billions. Yeah, he was a billionaire.

   7. JDJoey Diaz45:18

      Back then? In the-

   8. JRJoe Rogan45:19

      Yeah.

   9. JDJoey Diaz45:19

      ... in the '90s already, '80s?

   10. JRJoe Rogan45:20

       I believe so. How much money was Ross Perot worth?

   11. NANarrator45:24

       Uh, he was a billionaire.

   12. JRJoe Rogan45:25

       Yeah. Which, back then... So 1990 billionaire, it's probably like, it's probably just double the billions, whatever it is.

   13. JDJoey Diaz45:33

       (sighs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan45:33

       Probably something like that, or maybe triple the billions.

   15. JDJoey Diaz45:35

       Was he... Did he get oil money?

   16. NANarrator45:36

       At the time, '92, he was the 13th wealthiest man in America, net worth around four billion.

   17. JRJoe Rogan45:42

       So what is four billion from that time worth today? Let's guess.

   18. NANarrator45:45

       Uh, three billion, you have to set it up.

   19. JDJoey Diaz45:47

       Eight billion.

   20. JRJoe Rogan45:48

       Eight?

   21. JDJoey Diaz45:48

       Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan45:50

       I'm gonna say nine.

   23. NANarrator45:50

       93, 92, or 81.

   24. JRJoe Rogan45:54

       I might be way off, though. I'm just... I'm completely guessing.

   25. NANarrator45:59

       Just under seven.

   26. JRJoe Rogan46:00

       Ugh, there you go. We're both wrong. Hmm. So that's a lot of money, though. Still, it's almost double.

   27. JDJoey Diaz46:09

       Dog, what about the chief of police in my hometown that had this shit on his desk?

   28. JRJoe Rogan46:12

       Yeah, why'd he do that?

   29. JDJoey Diaz46:13

       I don't know. (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan46:18

       (laughs) Was he proving a point? What was the... What was up with that?
5. 1:00:00 – 1:13:09

   No, I get it.…

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      to say that.

   2. JDJoey Diaz1:00:00

      No, I get it.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      It's part of their liberal identity. You have to be united. (sighs)

   4. JDJoey Diaz1:00:05

      But like I was telling you, that the people that I grew up liking, and so do you, that's what I liked about them. That they had to go somewhere else to become stars. And when they came back to the United States, they were like, "We're fucking you in the ass now." That's Clint Eastwood, Charles Bronson. Steve McQueen, not as much. He just wanted to fuck everybody in the ass, you know?

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:31

      (laughs)

   6. JDJoey Diaz1:00:31

      Steve McQueen was just like, "You're sucking my dick either way. I'm doing what I want." You know? They don't even have that. Like, when was the last time you... The worst thing we've had in Hollywood in 20 years is when Brad Pitt made the movie with Angelina Jolie and he never came back. Like poor Jennifer Aniston was waiting with flowers and slippers. That motherfucker never came back.

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:50

      She's a temptress.

   8. JDJoey Diaz1:00:52

      The first one was when Steve McQueen took that girl from the head of fucking Paramount-

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:58

      Oh, yeah.

   10. JDJoey Diaz1:00:59

       ... and then did a movie under his fucking nose. That, that is something that they will cancer you... They couldn't can-... They couldn't do nothing to him.

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:01:06

       Well, he was one of the rare movie stars back then.

   12. JDJoey Diaz1:01:08

       There was none of them movie stars.

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:01:09

       They couldn't do anything to him.

   14. JDJoey Diaz1:01:10

       When there's a, an actual movie star in 1979, like, there's not a lot of those people. You need them to sell tickets. People don't know new people. They're not online. You know? You gotta, like, know, "Oh, it's a Steve McQueen movie," and you go see it. But if you... Like, "Oh, who's the, who's the star of the movie? I never heard of the guy. Fuck this movie. Oh, look over here. There's a Clint Eastwood movie. Let's go to see that." Like, stars were everything back then. Everything back then.

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:01:34

       Everything.... it's interesting because some great movies now don't have any stars in them. Like Mel Gibson, when he made Apocalypto, you don't know anybody in that movie.

   16. JDJoey Diaz1:01:43

       That's a great movie.

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:01:44

       It's a great movie.

   18. JDJoey Diaz1:01:45

       Great movie.

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:01:45

       And you don't know anybody in that movie. It's perfect. It's perfect 'cause you really believe the characters that way. I don't have to go, "Oh, it's Robert Downey Jr. Oh, he's doing a great job pretending to be that scientist." No, no, it's some guy that might actually be a scientist, you know?

   20. JDJoey Diaz1:02:00

       Yeah, I don't know. But no, they didn't do anything for Steve McQueen. Charles Bronson, same way, he was a prick on those movie sets. They wanted everything. They took everything, Joe.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:02:09

       Yeah.

   22. JDJoey Diaz1:02:09

       It just came out-

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:02:10

       I'm sure.

   24. JDJoey Diaz1:02:10

       ... I remember we discussed it last time. They just, they just got released the Steve McQueen riders from his movies.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:02:16

       The riders? Yeah. Well, riders are different, for people that don't know, that means, like, all the things that you get when you're on the set. Like-

   26. JDJoey Diaz1:02:22

       That he requests.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:02:23

       ... you could say, "I want M&M's in my green room. I want, you know, Pink Floyd albums." Whatever.

   28. JDJoey Diaz1:02:28

       Fucking insane.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:02:29

       Yeah.

   30. JDJoey Diaz1:02:30

       His, his was insane. His suits had to be a certain cut, they had to cost a certain way or he ain't wearing it, Steve McQueen.

Episode duration: 2:50:05