Joe Rogan Experience #2333 - Protect Our Parks 15

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast,…

   1. ASAri Shaffir0:00

      (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

   2. NANarrator0:04

      The Joe Rogan Experience. (energetic music) Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:12

      All right, we're rolling.

   4. MNMark Normand0:13

      You're done.

   5. ASAri Shaffir0:13

      I forgot that-

   6. JRJoe Rogan0:13

      We're rolling. Don't do anything illegal.

   7. MNMark Normand0:15

      What are you on, the Ozempic?

   8. ASAri Shaffir0:16

      No. (laughs)

   9. MNMark Normand0:17

      Come on, everybody's on the Zem.

   10. SGShane Gillis0:19

       I'm, I'm, I'm-

   11. ASAri Shaffir0:19

       That's why I need an arm.

   12. SGShane Gillis0:19

       ... I think it's probably bad for you.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:21

       It might be. Oh.

   14. MNMark Normand0:22

       100%.

   15. ASAri Shaffir0:22

       Yeah.

   16. SGShane Gillis0:22

       It might, in the end, be bad for you.

   17. MNMark Normand0:24

       Curious to hear about-

   18. ASAri Shaffir0:24

       And there's also that part of me I can't bring myself to actually not work out.

   19. MNMark Normand0:28

       You look ripped.

   20. ASAri Shaffir0:29

       N- no, no, no. I do give a fuck though, I'll take Ozempic.

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:30

       You're allowed to work out on the Ozempic. You don't wanna talk about it, but look at those shoulders.

   22. MNMark Normand0:34

       Look at those guns.

   23. SGShane Gillis0:34

       Look at those shoulders, dog. Those shoulders are coming in strong.

   24. ASAri Shaffir0:37

       You're not big, the only thing.

   25. MNMark Normand0:38

       Yeah.

   26. ASAri Shaffir0:38

       Don't hit me. Are you-

   27. JRJoe Rogan0:39

       You look, you look noticeably thicker. Like, noticeably thicker.

   28. MNMark Normand0:42

       Oh, yeah.

   29. ASAri Shaffir0:42

       That's what I, that's what I said to my trainer. He's like, "You wanna lose weight?" I said, "No."

   30. JRJoe Rogan0:46

       (laughs)
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Let's go. …

   1. ASAri Shaffir15:00

      were fucking pigs today, guys. (laughs) Keeping cigar.

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:05

      Let's go.

   3. MNMark Normand15:06

      Oh, yeah, good God.

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:08

      You guys want a big one or a little one?

   5. ASAri Shaffir15:09

      I'll take a little-y.

   6. JRJoe Rogan15:10

      You want a little, like a this one? Or like a, this one?

   7. MNMark Normand15:12

      I'll do a little J.

   8. ASAri Shaffir15:12

      Is that a Fuente? Is that a short story?

   9. JRJoe Rogan15:14

      These were all, these were all given to me by Jose Andres.

   10. MNMark Normand15:16

       Ooh.

   11. ASAri Shaffir15:16

       Is that a short, a short story?

   12. JRJoe Rogan15:18

       Uh, you know, maybe you know.

   13. ASAri Shaffir15:20

       I know. It's a Gari Shafir.

   14. JRJoe Rogan15:22

       A short story, that's what they're called? You want a short one? Like that?

   15. ASAri Shaffir15:24

       Let me see. Which one was it?

   16. MNMark Normand15:25

       I'm actually all right, I don't like any of them. But-

   17. ASAri Shaffir15:27

       Let me see all of them.

   18. JRJoe Rogan15:28

       Oh, you gotta choose.

   19. MNMark Normand15:29

       You don't know what the fuck that is.

   20. JRJoe Rogan15:30

       You gotta choose.

   21. ASAri Shaffir15:30

       Oh, this is the one. It's Open S.

   22. MNMark Normand15:33

       Ah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan15:33

       This is the high end version of this brand.

   24. MNMark Normand15:35

       Ugh. Ugh.

   25. JRJoe Rogan15:35

       They're all very, they're super legit. What do you want, Norm?

   26. ASAri Shaffir15:37

       The short stories are great though.

   27. MNMark Normand15:38

       I'll take a nice light one.

   28. ASAri Shaffir15:39

       You won't appreciate.

   29. JRJoe Rogan15:40

       That's a...

   30. MNMark Normand15:41

       That might be too heavy for me.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Still alive. …

   1. ASAri Shaffir30:00

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      Still alive.

   3. ASAri Shaffir30:00

      He would... They would kidnap a child and cut the child's heart out and eat it raw before they would go into battle.

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:07

      Yeah.

   5. ASAri Shaffir30:07

      Ooh.

   6. And he would go into battle buck naked, so they called them-

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:09

      James Whiskey. (laughs)

   8. ASAri Shaffir30:10

      Wow.

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:10

      James Whiskey, heir by a slave girl to watch her get cannibalized. What? Is that true? Referenced 130-year-old what?

   10. ASAri Shaffir30:18

       It's a tough one.

   11. Yikes.

   12. JRJoe Rogan30:19

       130-year-old scandal and a horrifying anecdote from a colonial expedition to Africa.

   13. ASAri Shaffir30:23

       James has been around for 130 years?

   14. (gasps)

   15. JRJoe Rogan30:25

       Wow, he bought a slave girl-

   16. ASAri Shaffir30:27

       That's-

   17. JRJoe Rogan30:27

       ... to watch her get cannibalized?

   18. ASAri Shaffir30:28

       That's a mixture. Yikes.

   19. JRJoe Rogan30:29

       Mixture.

   20. ASAri Shaffir30:29

       Sciencey.

   21. JRJoe Rogan30:30

       ... what's true? Go up to the top, scroll up, right there. "By his own admission, Jamison witnessed the murder and mutilation of a girl in his now the Demen- Demen- (clears throat) Democratic Republic of the Congo in 1888. Incident took place after Jamison paid handkerchiefs to a man who said, 'Give me a bill of cloth and see.'"

   22. MNMark Normand30:48

       Hmm.

   23. JRJoe Rogan30:49

       Oh, boy.

   24. SGShane Gillis30:50

       What?

   25. JRJoe Rogan30:50

       Jami- so, Jamison insisted he did not set out with the intention of causing or witnessing any murder or act of cannibalism, and described what he ultimately witnessed as, "The most horrifyingly sickening sight I am ever likely to see in my life." (laughs)

   26. SGShane Gillis31:03

       I mean, somebody's like-

   27. MNMark Normand31:04

       That's a fair statement.

   28. SGShane Gillis31:04

       ... "Just give me a handkerchief. I'll take something." Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan31:05

       But if you like, what do you guys do? Do you guys eat people? Is it like, "Give me a handkerchief and you'll see?" And that's all you have to give the guy? A handkerchief and he's good to go?

   30. SGShane Gillis31:11

       We all would have done it.
4. 45:00 – 59:16

   That's brutal. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      horrible.

   2. MNMark Normand45:01

      That's brutal.

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:02

      It's crazy. And he's, he was stuck with them the whole time.

   4. MNMark Normand45:04

      Ah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:04

      Look how much they ate out of him.

   6. SGShane Gillis45:06

      Oh, fuck.

   7. MNMark Normand45:06

      It's like he regrows.

   8. SGShane Gillis45:07

      That's so dangerous.

   9. MNMark Normand45:08

      Hung, handcuffed you drunk friend.

   10. JRJoe Rogan45:09

       By the way, coyotes are just little wolves. That's all they are. They're little wolves that are everywhere in every state.

   11. SGShane Gillis45:14

       They're everywhere.

   12. JRJoe Rogan45:14

       Everywhere.

   13. SGShane Gillis45:15

       They came to... They're at my parents' house now in Pennsylvania.

   14. JRJoe Rogan45:18

       Yeah, they spread across the whole country.

   15. SGShane Gillis45:19

       And you hear them at night. It's fucking... It's pretty intense.

   16. MNMark Normand45:22

       The only way.

   17. SGShane Gillis45:22

       Start screaming, you know, like it was somebody's fucking pet. They triangulate, right?

   18. JRJoe Rogan45:25

       Yeah. They eat mostly pets.

   19. SGShane Gillis45:27

       My cat was out there, and I was watching TV one night and I heard them all screaming. I heard, like, screaming for a little and I was like, "What the fuck was that?" And then I walked outside and my cat was, like, laying on the ground and there were just three coyotes-

   20. JRJoe Rogan45:40

       What?

   21. SGShane Gillis45:40

       ... circling him.

   22. MNMark Normand45:41

       Whoa.

   23. SGShane Gillis45:41

       And I had to run out there (laughs) I was so scared. I was like-

   24. MNMark Normand45:44

       Yeah.

   25. SGShane Gillis45:44

       ... "Hey, get the fuck out of here." (laughs)

   26. MNMark Normand45:46

       Right.

   27. JRJoe Rogan45:46

       Yeah, they don't listen.

   28. SGShane Gillis45:47

       But I picked my cat up and he was purring. It was very weird.

   29. JRJoe Rogan45:49

       He was probably so happy that you... That he was out-

   30. SGShane Gillis45:51

       It was really sweet.

Episode duration: 3:11:16