EVERY SPOKEN WORD
150 min read · 30,008 words- 0:00 – 1:22
Cold open: gifts you can’t throw away, desk props, and Harlan Williams’ “worm”
- NANarrator
(drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
- JNJim Norton
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
- NANarrator
(intro music)
- JNJim Norton
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JNJim Norton
Where do I fucking put this thing? It's hideous.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right? Like, what are you gonna do with it?
- JNJim Norton
Yeah, I should've thrown it out. But I'm just, I feel like if somebody put effort into it and gave it to me, just keep it.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, I know. Well, that's how I wound up with this fucking snake on the desk. This is from... (laughs)
- JNJim Norton
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
This,, uh, during the entire podcast, Harlan Williams had this in his pants and he was saying that he had a, he got a worm.
- JNJim Norton
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
And he, he named his worm Dmitri, and at the end of the podcast, he, he pulls it out, "Ugh."
- JNJim Norton
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
And then he got such a fucking kick out of the fact that it was still on the desk when I interviewed Trump. (laughs)
- JNJim Norton
(laughs) I hope he explained where it came from.
- JRJoe Rogan
I didn't say shit.
- JNJim Norton
He's like, "This present... Hold on."
- JRJoe Rogan
I didn't say anything.
- JNJim Norton
I think it's f- I think it's funny 'cause when you said that, I was like, "Who gave that to you? Is that a seven year old?"
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JNJim Norton
And then said, "Harlan Williams." All right, works out perfect.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JNJim Norton
That feels correct.
- JRJoe Rogan
He is so unique.
- JNJim Norton
He is. And, uh, I forgot he was in Something About Mary.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah.
- JNJim Norton
Which is literally one of the funniest movies ever made.
- JRJoe Rogan
Ever.
- 1:22 – 2:36
Headphones, self-consciousness, and the “one ear open” instinct
- JNJim Norton
I'm gonna take these off.
- JRJoe Rogan
You don't like them?
- JNJim Norton
No, no, they're fine. I just, I, I'm so used to my... I hate my own voice.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh.
- JNJim Norton
And hearing it come back. It's like, I'm doing radio for 20 years and I still don't like to listen to my own fucking voice.
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, you used to do one. You used to do the one ear thing.
- JNJim Norton
I do one, but I saw Rich Vos. Like, too many times I've seen clips of Vos, and he just does that. And I'm like, "Do I look like that?"
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JNJim Norton
"Have I looked like that for two decades?"
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JNJim Norton
I'm like, "Fucking Rich, put it on or take it off."
- JRJoe Rogan
"I like one ear."
- JNJim Norton
He just likes one ear open.
- JRJoe Rogan
"I like it on one ear."
- JNJim Norton
I, I firmly believe that's some kind of, like a, a, a, a childhood, like, um, uh, defense thing. Like there was something fishy that happened in childhood-
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh.
- JNJim Norton
... where you wanna just kinda somehow stay present.
- JRJoe Rogan
Always be aware.
- JNJim Norton
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
That you're gonna get attacked.
- JNJim Norton
Somebody, somebody fumbled. Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Hmm.
- JNJim Norton
Somebody fumbled around and I just-
- JRJoe Rogan
Interesting.
- JNJim Norton
... gotta keep my ears open.
- JRJoe Rogan
I don't know. That's a thing, though. A lot of people like one ear on. It's, it's not uncommon.
- JNJim Norton
You feel... When you have both ears covered, I just feel like I'm lost and I'm not in the room.
- JRJoe Rogan
Hmm.
- JNJim Norton
And it's, it's... I guess I've gotten a little bit better with it, but just now I'm like, "Wow, I really, uh, I can't hear."
- JRJoe Rogan
I always feel like I'm just fully locked in. You know, I don't hear anything else. I don't hear any distractions.
- 2:36 – 4:13
Annual MRIs, claustrophobia, and the Rocky theme mistake
- JNJim Norton
I don't... I went in for an MRI. I just go for them, like, once a year.
- JRJoe Rogan
Do you?
- JNJim Norton
And they, y-
- JRJoe Rogan
Just for the fuck of it?
- JNJim Norton
I, I want to, yeah. I'm pound... getting older and I'm like, you know, "I wanna fucking make sure I'm good. Like, make sure there's no lumps or anything."
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- JNJim Norton
And, uh, they give you those shitty headphones. And I'm so claustrophobic. I'm, I'm laying there and I'm terrified.
- JRJoe Rogan
And the noise... (imitates machine noise)
- JNJim Norton
(laughs) Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong.
- JNJim Norton
Yeah. Yeah, being married prepares you for that (laughs) .
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs) You get good at blocking out talking.
- JNJim Norton
Oh, my God. You feel claustrophobic. There's a loud noise. You wanna kill yourself, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
My wife will be in full conversation with me, I'll have no idea what she said.
- JNJim Norton
No.
- JRJoe Rogan
I'm just fully blocked it out.
- JNJim Norton
Yeah. How many things have I agreed to?
- JRJoe Rogan
And then I'm just polite. (laughs)
- JNJim Norton
Exactly. (laughs) Because I want her to shut up.
- JRJoe Rogan
"I told you about it the other day." I'm like, "You did?"
- JNJim Norton
Oh.
- JRJoe Rogan
I don't wanna a- argue. I'm like, "I forgot."
- JNJim Norton
Yeah, "I'm sorry, I just-"
- JRJoe Rogan
I don't know what to tell you.
- JNJim Norton
But it's a... I asked the guy, he goes, "Do you want music?" And I'm like, "Yeah, I'll have, uh..." I'm like, "Play rock. Just rock." And he was, uh, fucking like, uh, he didn't speak English that well, so he started playing the Rocky theme song over and over.
- JRJoe Rogan
No!
- JNJim Norton
I a- I actually bailed out and got out of the machine. I couldn't finish it.
- JRJoe Rogan
Because you couldn't hear the song anymore?
- JNJim Norton
No, I just was too freaked out. I'm like, "This guy's not hearing me."
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- 4:13 – 4:56
Black Mirror memories, singularity timelines, and brain–AI integration fantasies
- JRJoe Rogan
Imagine if you could look into your brain and see your memories. You're like, "Whoa."
- JNJim Norton
Eventually. I mean, Black Mirror-
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah.
- JNJim Norton
... did an episode of that, where you, like... With... I love how they keep the technology simple, where you're just kind of scrolling through something and they can, like, see all the, the memories. And you'll eventually be able to, to do that. I mean...
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, eventually we'll have a hard drive in our head.
- JNJim Norton
I would do it too. I like-
- JRJoe Rogan
Uh.
- JNJim Norton
I would absolutely link up... Uh, we... I think we talked about this last time, but Ray Kurzweil who talks about, like, uh, singularity.
- JRJoe Rogan
Uh-huh.
- JNJim Norton
I still think his timeframe is wishful thinking. He thinks by, like, 2045, right?
- JRJoe Rogan
2045, yeah.
- JNJim Norton
He'll be in his, like, 90s, so I think he's just trying to hope it happens before.
- JRJoe Rogan
He might be right.
- JNJim Norton
I-
- JRJoe Rogan
That makes sense. 20 years from now? Yeah, I think that's correct.
- JNJim Norton
I hope so.
- 4:56 – 6:37
AI as “better Google,” suspicion flags, and Texas porn restrictions
- JRJoe Rogan
I, I think everything's moving in exponential pace. And I think, you know, if you just look at what's happening with AI. AI, 10 years ago, was nonexistent. You never heard anything about it.
- JNJim Norton
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
And now everybody uses it on their phone all the time.
- JNJim Norton
I use it. Um, my wife's obsessed with it, which is irritating 'cause she, like, literally will just talk to it. And so I'm like, "All right, let me try it and see." But it's great if, like, you get an error message on your computer. Like, "What does fucking m- mac, uh, error 1101 mean?" And then you add it and it actually tells you in a very comprehensive way what that error message means.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JNJim Norton
It's better than googling something.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah.
- JNJim Norton
So I'm using it for that, but-
- JRJoe Rogan
It's great for a lot of things. Kids are using it though, unfortunately, for, like, term papers and shit, and they're getting busted because AI knows when it's AI. So they just run the paper into AI and AI goes, "Oh, yeah, AI made this."
- JNJim Norton
"Oh, yeah, that's, that's my work." (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JNJim Norton
"That sucks."
- JRJoe Rogan
"Oh, I did that." Yeah.
- JNJim Norton
But, I mean, it's good for, uh, for looking things up. Right now, I'm just using it as a better Google.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- JNJim Norton
But would I attach it to my brain? No. Uh, 'cause I was in it the other day a- and it just said, "We detected suspicious activity," so they wanted me to log in. Maybe 'cause I had a VPN or something.
- JRJoe Rogan
Hmm.
- JNJim Norton
'Cause in Texas, you can't jerk off without a fucking VPN.
- JRJoe Rogan
Ugh.
- JNJim Norton
They want your license to watch porn.
- JRJoe Rogan
I know. Isn't that crazy?
- JNJim Norton
Oh, it sucks.
- JRJoe Rogan
... it's, uh, we're pro- we're protecting children. Too fucking late. Like, is it- first of all, as if kids don't know about VPNs. They all do.
- JNJim Norton
And it's also one of those things where, like, I get you don't want your kids to watch porn, that's fine, and it's a lot harder... It was harder when I was a child to get. You had to find, like, magazines in the woods.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- JNJim Norton
Um, but I... Man, the smell of those old, shitty magazines.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JNJim Norton
You'd find them and fucking hi-... It was the best. But now, if I had it on my phone or I had the availability, I mean, my sex addiction would've been even worse. So I guess why, I get why they wanna protect kids from that stuff.
- 6:37 – 9:30
Gore on the internet: algorithms, anxiety, and why it stops being watchable
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, it's gotta be fucking kids up. It's not just that, but the violence that they see. You see so much violence. I see way more violence now than I've ever seen in my whole life. Way more murders-
- JNJim Norton
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... and car accidents, and animal attacks. And I see... And Tom Segura and I have this horrible text thread. We text each other the worst shit we find every day. We're trying to freak each other out, and we've been doing it for years. And so, it's just... My algorithm's fucked.
- JNJim Norton
Yeah, it's just-
- JRJoe Rogan
It's, it's fucked.
- JNJim Norton
Do you... There's, there's certain sites. And I never promote the site, just because it's like, uh, it's just too gruesome. But there's one site I go to where you can see everything. They have beheadings.
- JRJoe Rogan
Ugh.
- JNJim Norton
And I would look at this stuff before bed.
- JRJoe Rogan
Ooh.
- JNJim Norton
And I don't know why. I, I wouldn't enjoy seeing it, but I would look at it, and it just gives you some kind of a weird, horrible feeling. But there's certain things I can't watch at this point. Like, I can't watch people burning anymore.
- JRJoe Rogan
(inhales deeply) Any more?
- JNJim Norton
That's a rough way to... Yeah, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JNJim Norton
One point, oh, burning for all the rape. (laughs) I just... I can't watch 'em anymore, you know? It's all had.
- JRJoe Rogan
That's such a crazy thing to say, "I can't watch people burning anymore." I'm just... I'm all burnt out.
- JNJim Norton
It bothered me. It was... It got to a point where I couldn't... I can't see beheadings anymore. Like, it, it... There was a point where I could watch them and just almost watch detached, but now I just get... It's too, uh-
- JRJoe Rogan
Do you remember the journalist who was like...
- JNJim Norton
Daniel Pearl?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yes.
- JNJim Norton
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
That's right. Yeah.
- JNJim Norton
He was like the fir-... But the cameraman panicked and kind of came off him a little bit. And, and so they didn't, uh... It was kinda... They showed it, but that was the first one.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JNJim Norton
And then that guy they called Jihad John-
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm.
- JNJim Norton
... who was like, uh... 'Cause he was British.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm.
- JNJim Norton
And they eventually caught him. Um, I forget the other people he did, but there was, like, certain contractors and stuff that they would, they would put in those orange jumpsuits-
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm.
- JNJim Norton
... to mimic Guantanamo, and they would-
- 9:30 – 11:01
Texting and driving, CarPlay oversharing, and the terror of synced contacts
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, well that's what Apple CarPlay is for, you know?
- JNJim Norton
No.
- JRJoe Rogan
You don't do that?
- JNJim Norton
Fuck, dude. The idea of con-... I m-... I did that one time. I connected my phone to a BMW X6. My girlfriend at the time, my ex-girlfriend, came with me to the dealership. And the guy is telling me, "Oh, you should connect your phone." And I do, and my fucking phone, my, uh, th- my phone book, my contact list comes up.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- JNJim Norton
And one of the girls, uh, you know, I put where how I knew her, and it was like, a domination fantasy.
- JRJoe Rogan
Ugh.
- JNJim Norton
So that came up, her name, and "domination fantasy" came up on that little window in the X6. And I'm like, "I'll never connect anything-"
- JRJoe Rogan
Ah!
- JNJim Norton
"... to my car again." There's just, just too much going on.
- JRJoe Rogan
Just change the name.
- JNJim Norton
I mean, I mean, how much time do I have to go back and change all the names?
- JRJoe Rogan
Just change the name to, like, personal trainer (laughs) .
- JNJim Norton
(laughs) But that's another code word (laughs) .
- JRJoe Rogan
It doesn't have to be.
- JNJim Norton
I, I got busted one time talking dirty.
- JRJoe Rogan
Ugh.
- JNJim Norton
I was texting dirty, and the girl, the, the escort's name came up on my phone. Um, and it was, like, one of those names that cannot be, like, a regular person.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- JNJim Norton
So I ran... My, and my girlfriend was fucking screaming at me in the car. She's like, "Who the fuck is that?"
- JRJoe Rogan
"Who are you?"
- JNJim Norton
And I'm like, "It's fucking Anthony."
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JNJim Norton
I'm like, "I have a code word for Anthony in case I ever lose my phone." So I had to run up into the bathroom and just, like, my fingers were shaking, and change it to Anthony, and then I came in 15 minutes later. I'm like, "See, it's Anthony." But it was... By then, it was like-
- JRJoe Rogan
Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee.
- JNJim Norton
... "You blew it, Jim. You got caught." So I don't connect anything.
- JRJoe Rogan
Ugh.
- JNJim Norton
Even though I don't, I'm not, you know, fucking anybody else, I still don't c-... I don't trust it. I don't, I don't connect anything to my car.
- 11:01 – 12:36
Phones are listening: Signal paranoia, group-chat mistakes, and mis-sent messages
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, your phone is listening anyway. Mine is for sure. Mine, I, I've come to grips with the fact that everything that I text is getting read.
- JNJim Norton
Probably. Um-
- JRJoe Rogan
100%. No, no questions.
- JNJim Norton
Through the ads?
- JRJoe Rogan
Including, like, stuff that's on Signal. You know, Tucker told me that. He said that the Sig-... They found his, uh... The government knew that he was gonna meet Putin 'cause they read his Signal. And he's like, "I didn't even know that that was possible."
- JNJim Norton
Yeah, um, is that the one that they got, they got caught using in the Defense chat?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JNJim Norton
The Signal? How-
- JRJoe Rogan
But that was because there was another guy in the Signal chat that I think someone let in the Signal chat on purpose.
- JNJim Norton
Was it on purpose, or do you think it was one of those things where you fuck up and you just... Like, you know how you, you'll send something and a, and a, and a, and a predictive text, like, name comes up? And you just hit... Like, if I'm gonna text you and I accidentally... J-O, and all of a sudden it's-
- JRJoe Rogan
Joe DeRosa.
- JNJim Norton
... it's, it's Joe DeRosa comes up.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right, right.
- JNJim Norton
Yeah. And I, I just send him...
- JRJoe Rogan
I've done that before, but this was a giant group of people that are in the Defense Department.... how do you include a reporter in that?
- JNJim Norton
That's a terrible mistake.
- JRJoe Rogan
That doesn't make any sense.
- JNJim Norton
My ex-publicist was badmouthing me to somebody, and she actually sent it to me by mistake. (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JNJim Norton
I was like-
- JRJoe Rogan
What, what did she say about you? (laughs)
- JNJim Norton
It wasn't an overt. It was one of those things where we weren't working together anymore, and I was doing, uh, Neal Brennan's podcast. And, uh, like you know blocks, where you, you, you talk about all these things that blocked? And I, and she said something about like, "Oh, well, Norton's on three blocks already, no shock." It was just, it was some comment that was not complimentary.
- JRJoe Rogan
Tee-hee-hee.
- JNJim Norton
And, uh, and then it was like, "Oh, sorry, I meant that for him." (laughs) And I just kinda left it there.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JNJim Norton
I'm like, "I got it. I knew, I knew you didn't like me, that's why I left you." Your own publicist hates your guts, it's a fucking-
- 12:36 – 18:44
PR problems and platform penalties: YouTube ads rejected, politics labels, and audience whiplash
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, publicists can be a, such a problem. They're-
- JNJim Norton
And you're-
- JRJoe Rogan
... so incompatible with people that are wild.
- JNJim Norton
Yes, because all they wanna do is, th- th- they have to paint it in a way that's palatable to everybody. Like, I understand that, that it's a hard job, and you have some fucking asshole who's out trying to get laid, and-
- JRJoe Rogan
Especially like a guy like you, or someone who says wild things, you know, you, it's like, that's part of the fun of being you.
- JNJim Norton
Yes, but it also comes back, and it, it's, it's, it's a... Here's where it's negative. I do on, on YouTube, I have the podcast, and I'm trying to do podcast ads. I've never, you know, I'd never put ads on YouTube before. But I'm like, "It doesn't buy you views, it just puts it like, where people will see it, and if they like it, they click on it." Every one of my ads gets shot down. Uh, they, they accused me of election advertising in the United States. I, I put up an ad, and they said, "This violates election advertising," and they, and I didn't even know how to respond to that.
- JRJoe Rogan
What was the ad?
- JNJim Norton
Uh, it, it might've been a Geo- uh, I had George Santos on, but it was, it was just a funny podcast.
- JRJoe Rogan
That guy's hilarious.
- JNJim Norton
Dude, he was fucking, he told me how bad, uh, he, uh, Jerry Nadler smelled. (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JNJim Norton
'Cause I asked him who had the worst breath in Congress, and he wouldn't answer, but he told me the worst body odor was Jerry Nadler. It was just funny.
- JRJoe Rogan
That's funny.
- JNJim Norton
He's just funny.
- JRJoe Rogan
He's a character.
- JNJim Norton
He is.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's just amazing that he was a congressman.
- JNJim Norton
I know. I, I have a real affection... You know how it is when you meet somebody? It's like, i- i- they're, they're always more human when you meet them, and it's harder to not like somebody.
- JRJoe Rogan
Of course. Of course.
- JNJim Norton
Like, I don't agree with Lauren Boebert, but I met her and she couldn't have been nicer, and I'm like, "I can't dislike her. She was nice to me." You know?
- JRJoe Rogan
Right, right.
- JNJim Norton
So whenever you meet someone, and I had him over, and he was great. He was funny. Some, a sense of humor about himself, and he was shit-talking and catty, and-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JNJim Norton
... I was like, "Fuck, I love this guy." But they accused me of election advertising. So now, so many times I've tried to put ads after, and they continually say it's either shocking content or election advertising. So-
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, they're just targeting you. Yeah.
- JNJim Norton
They're just targeting me. And it's like, how are you supposed to advertise comedy-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JNJim Norton
... with, with some profanity in it, if it's shocking content, so...
- JRJoe Rogan
How was that a lecture? I mean, he's not even running for anything.
- JNJim Norton
And it wasn't, it wasn't a political, uh, rally podcast at all. It was just us talking about what happened. And we chatted politics, but I don't, I don't push political views on people.
- 18:44 – 26:30
Public shaming, privacy invasion, and the comedian’s default setting: shame
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, Jon Ronson talked about that in his book, You've Been Publicly Shamed.
- JNJim Norton
Yes.
- JRJoe Rogan
You know, like, if you're not ashamed, then it doesn't work. And that's the reality of it. And Glenn handled it perfectly. He's not ashamed.
- JNJim Norton
Yeah. A- or d- well, you can't let them see you're ashamed, 'cause I'm, you know-
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- JNJim Norton
I wake up just dipped in it. (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JNJim Norton
I (laughs) fucking... It's the first thing I think of. Good morning, shame.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs) But that's... You're open about it, though. I mean, that's the thing. It's like they can't really attack you for something that you're attacking yourself for.
- JNJim Norton
Yes.
- JRJoe Rogan
You know?
- JNJim Norton
And if you tell them... Like, I did something, I, like, I, I, it's so, it's so... I watched... I, my special premiered, and I went into YouTube, and I watched it with people as they were watching, and just commenting and talking. And this horrible feeling of shame. Even when people are being nice, I can't get away from how embarrassed I am. A- like, w- it's almost like when people see you doing something, you're like, "Oh, Jimmy's trying. Look at little Jimmy trying."
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JNJim Norton
And I was typing back and everything, but it was... It's so anti- what feels good for me-
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm.
- JNJim Norton
... to do. Even when people are being nice, I find it horrifying and humiliating.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JNJim Norton
I, I don't know where that comes from, but I kind of wish I didn't have it.
- JRJoe Rogan
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- JNJim Norton
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... your way of when you're trying to sell it a little too much and you're not in the moment.
- JNJim Norton
Ah, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
You know? Like, there's all the grossness that you see that other people aren't gonna see where you're like, "Ew."
- JNJim Norton
It's fucking-
- JRJoe Rogan
I hate watching myself. Fucking hate it.
- JNJim Norton
Dude, it was so hard. It was so hard not to just attack myself in the chat. Like-
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah.
- JNJim Norton
All I wanted to do was watch it and go, "This fucking blue sucks."
- JRJoe Rogan
Boo, boo. (laughs)
- JNJim Norton
(laughs) But I'm like, "Nice, nice blinking, 56-year-old."
- 26:30 – 31:53
Quitting social media: reclaiming attention, thinking time, and free-speech self-examination
- JRJoe Rogan
I stopped reading almost everything, even stuff that's not me, and I stopped a couple weeks ago. I just stopped going on social media. I will occasionally, if someone sends me something funny, I'll watch it. But then I get off my phone right away.
- JNJim Norton
Do you-
- JRJoe Rogan
I, I just... And I think on my new phone number that I'm gonna get, I'm not gonna have any social media. I'm just gonna keep my old phone number and only use that for social media. I just don't think it's good for you.
- JNJim Norton
It's not. And while- though there's times, like my algorithm, I g- I'm, I'm obsessed with... I think we talked about this, well, just Japanese hornets and a lot of MMA. Like, my algorithm is healthier now than it would be. Uh, there's still a few things that will pop up, um, that, you know, show what I've been looking at. Like, if my wife is next to me, she'll see what I'm looking at. I'm like, "Oh, no, it's just," you know. You know how it is. (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JNJim Norton
You go down a rabbit hole you probably shouldn't go down. But it's not as unhealthy as it would've been at one point. Like, a lot of it is just MMA stuff, and, and, and animals and nice shit.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, I get a lot of that. A lot of it is people getting knocked out. A lot.
- JNJim Norton
You like the knocked out?
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah.
- JNJim Norton
I like watching jujitsu tips.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JNJim Norton
'Cause then I'll bring them in and ask, ask the guy to show me. Like, like, "How do you... Is it possible to do this?" And he'll kinda show me, and I'll just forget it. But it's, it's fun.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, I've got a lot of that too. But it's just, I just think it's a giant waste of time. And it's also, your brain needs time to just think, and you need time to just be in your own head and think about your own thoughts and trying to formulate them properly. Really, like, get an under- Like, "Why do I think this way? Why, what is, what is it about this that is d- that, that I've decided is correct?"
- JNJim Norton
Right.
- JRJoe Rogan
And roll it around. And when you're constantly looking at other peoples' thoughts, I just don't think it gives you much time for that.
- JNJim Norton
That's exactly it. Why do I think what I think?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JNJim Norton
Like... Hitchens did a great speech. It was in Toronto, about free speech. And one of the things he was talking about is when somebody says something that you don't agree with. And I think the example he gave was Holocaust denial. He goes, "You have to protect that person's speech," because e- e- if nothing else, it makes you examine, "Okay, well, how do I know what I know?"
- JRJoe Rogan
Yes.
- JNJim Norton
"How do I know other than someone told me?" Like, you have to kind of examine how you come to your own conclusions. And I do that a lot, like in the shower, I'll just kinda stand there. It's really, like we all have a weird showering method. I just kinda stand there with my hands like this. It's bizarre.
- JRJoe Rogan
Uh-huh.
- JNJim Norton
It's like womb-like. And I just stand there and I think, or I go through arguments, or I go through conversations or debates. Um, and that's the one time I really get to, to think during the day, where I don't let-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JNJim Norton
... anything else interfere. But being off social media is probably a lot healthier. Just, again, it's other peoples' thoughts. Who ca- I don't care what people think. I don't know why I read it.
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, I care what people think, but I don't care enough to have it intervene and invade my thoughts all day long. I mean, I'm fascinated by people, but I like to talk to them for real, for real, like this.
- JNJim Norton
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
This is like, you know... Because I, I think that's also having a podcast and having what I think is the best way to communicate with people, and to be able, to be so lucky to be able to do it all the time. I think I get plenty of other peoples' input.
- JNJim Norton
Right. And you get the, the real opinions-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JNJim Norton
... and you get to f- You sense a... In a room with a person, again, it's, it's, it's harder to dislike or to, or to caricature somebody when you've met them-
- 31:53 – 41:21
Crash scams and miraculous survival stories: dash cams, plane falls, and fire ants
- JRJoe Rogan
You- you're different depending on how your day went, you know? Your reaction to something is... I remember one time, this guy wasn't paying attention. Traffic was stopped, and he rear-ended me. And he didn't have a license. He was from Mexico. But I had been doing yoga, like, every day, and I was like, "You okay?" And he's like, "Yeah, I'm okay." I'm like, "All right, man." And I go, "Why don't you have a license?" He's like, "I can't get a license." I go- I go, "Well, so why are you driving?" He's like, "I gotta work." I go, "All right, I get it." I wasn't mad at him-
- JNJim Norton
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... but it was 'cause I was doing yoga, like, every day. We were doing this hot yoga challenge, Ari and Tom and Bert and I.
- JNJim Norton
I remember that.
- JRJoe Rogan
S- we were doing it, like, I was doing yoga, like, every day. So I was so calm. I was like, "Okay, well, take care of yourself. I'm gonna get outta here." 'Cause his car was fucked. My car was fucked, but it was f- it was drivable.
- JNJim Norton
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
It was a Porsche. Like, it was a really nice car.
- JNJim Norton
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
And he had, like, this fucking shitty-
- JNJim Norton
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
... Honda, and he, but, you know, the way he broke, like when you break, your- your front end dives down.
- JNJim Norton
Mm-hmm.
- JRJoe Rogan
And so he kinda got under my car and lifted my car up a little bit, and caved in my back bumper a little bit. But they just replaced the bar and the engine wasn't fucked, and my exhaust was dented a little bit. His car was fucked. He couldn't drive. So he gotta be there when the cops came, and then, you know, he couldn't drive away.
- JNJim Norton
Right.
- JRJoe Rogan
And I was like, "I don't know what to..." Uh, "I'm gonna get outta here."
- JNJim Norton
Oh, you just left? Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. I was like, "He doesn't have any money." Like, "I'll, I'm gonna pay for this."
- JNJim Norton
Yes.
- JRJoe Rogan
And I'm like, "This isn't gonna hurt me. I have the money to fix it. So all right, take care, man."
- JNJim Norton
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
"Glad you're okay."
- JNJim Norton
Being zen like that, like w- w- 'cause it reminds me of a... I was leaving the Lincoln, the Holland Tunnel with Karen Feehan. We were doing a gig in Jersey. It was bumper to bumper. And I came, uh, you know, so there was a, th- that merge where you think you're never gonna get out of it. And a guy stopped, and he goes, "You hit my car." And I'm like, "I know I didn't hit his car." But he made us, uh, it was bumper to bumper. I'm like, "Let's just talk on the other side of the tunnel." Like, "Let's get outta this fuck..." 'Cause I was gonna be late for the gig. And he goes, "No, we're gonna pull over and wait for the police." So I'm like, "Oh, this piece of shit is trying to shake me down."
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JNJim Norton
So we wound up, uh, one of those awful traffic women was there. You know, the- the- the people that just, uh, they work for the city and they dress like cops but they're not cops.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- JNJim Norton
But if you assault one of them, it's like a big deal. So y- uh, we pulled over and- and I said, "Is it okay if we just trade licenses?" And she went, "Yeah, just trade licenses." Which I think kind of shamed him into, like, letting us move on.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh.
- JNJim Norton
Otherwise, he was gonna have me fucking held up there, or- or pay him on the...
- JRJoe Rogan
So you didn't hit his car at all?
- JNJim Norton
Karen said I didn't. It was a merge, and if I did, it was a one-mile-an-hour bump. But there was no mark on his car at all. I think the whole thing was a scam, 'cause we traded licenses-
- 41:21 – 54:31
Fear of insects and snakes, then the pivot to pets: puppies, training, and giant guard dogs
- JNJim Norton
You ever watch that guy who fucking lets things bite him in the woods? Uh, Coyote something? You know, he's on fire and-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, Coyote Peterson. Yeah.
- JNJim Norton
He's a psychopath, but his stuff-
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah.
- JNJim Norton
... is very entertaining. But I think he said the bullet ant. The bullet ant or the Japanese hornet was, was the, the worst?
- JRJoe Rogan
The bullet ant's supposed to be the worst. The bullet ant's supposed to be like 24 hours of intense pain. Yeah, my friend Steve got bit by one of those.
- JNJim Norton
On purpose or no?
- JRJoe Rogan
No. He was in, uh, the Amazon. He got bit on his foot.
- JNJim Norton
And had, was it as bad as he said?
- JRJoe Rogan
He, he said for hours it was just impossible. The pain was just impossible.
- JNJim Norton
Does that-
- JRJoe Rogan
And then it slowly dissipated to like kind of manageable. You know?
- JNJim Norton
Is that the one where they put in the gloves?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JNJim Norton
You ever see that one?
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm.
- JNJim Norton
The, the, the tribe where they do that, and their hands are like blackened by bites?
- JRJoe Rogan
Didn't Steve-O do that?
- NANarrator
Yep.
- JNJim Norton
Did he?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, yeah, he did that.
- NANarrator
He did it in The Boys.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, he put the gloves on.
- NANarrator
I didn't watch it.
- JNJim Norton
How long did he last?
- JRJoe Rogan
Uh, well, once you get bit, it's a 24-hour experience.
- JNJim Norton
Yeah, I'm very squeamish. Insects, it's funny, the, the, I've never gotten over this insect. I think I saw a kid, uh, there was a brother and sister when I was a kid. We were all the same age. I think she was a year older than me and him were. And they were such a, such a bizarre little friendship, 'cause they used to pee their pants, and I would ask them to sit on my face with their pants. It was a really bizarre-
- JRJoe Rogan
Jesus Christ. (laughs)
- JNJim Norton
Yeah, yeah, no, it was a very, it was a lovely childhood in good old Edison (laughs) good old Edison, New Jersey.... but I saw him get stung by yellow jackets. We-
- JRJoe Rogan
Whoa, what is that?
- 54:31 – 1:05:29
Liberace, old TV weirdness, and why new media eras look absurd in hindsight
- JRJoe Rogan
Did you ever see the HBO, uh, thing on, uh, Liberace?
- JNJim Norton
Is, is that where... with, uh-
- JRJoe Rogan
Beyond, Beyond the Candle-
- JNJim Norton
... Tom Hopper, wasn't it?
- JRJoe Rogan
... Opera? Well, it was Matt Damon and, um... what the fuck was his name?
- JNJim Norton
Who played Scott Thorson?
- JRJoe Rogan
The guy, Greed is Good. You know, that guy.
- JNJim Norton
Michael Douglas?
- JRJoe Rogan
Michael Douglas, yeah.
- JNJim Norton
Ah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Michael Douglas played Liberace, I believe, right? Didn't he?
- JNJim Norton
Did he?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JNJim Norton
... I didn't remember that.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. Yeah, it was Michael Douglas and Matt Damon.
- JNJim Norton
Oh, he played Scott Thorson, Matt Damon?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yes.
- JNJim Norton
Okay.
- JRJoe Rogan
He played the guy who got plastic surgery-
- JNJim Norton
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... to look like Liberace.
- JNJim Norton
S- he's a classic, yeah. (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
What a psycho.
- JNJim Norton
Yeah. Yeah, I interviewed him. He's great.
- JRJoe Rogan
You have your boyfriend get plastic surgery to look like him? I wanna fuck me.
- JNJim Norton
(laughs) I know. That's the last person I would wanna look like.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JNJim Norton
I go to a surgeon and say, "Anything but this."
- JRJoe Rogan
Isn't that... That is such a psychotic thing, to wanna fuck you. Oh my God, that's so crazy. "I want you to look like me."
- JNJim Norton
W-
Episode duration: 2:55:10
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