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The Joe Rogan ExperienceThe Joe Rogan Experience

Joe Rogan Experience #2351 - James McCann

James Donald Forbes McCann is a stand-up comic, author, and host of “The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan” podcast. https://www.jdfmccann.com Get a free welcome kit with your first subscription of AG1 at https://drinkag1.com/joerogan Don’t miss out on all the action - Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up at https://dkng.co/rogan or with my promo code ROGAN. GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit https://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit https://ccpg.org (CT), or visit https://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). 1 per new customer. $5+ first-time bet req. Max. $150 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: https://dkng.co/dk-offer-terms. Ends 7/20/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK

Joe RoganhostJames Donald Forbes McCannguestGuest 2 (unidentified)guest
Jul 17, 20252h 52mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

  1. 0:00 – 1:41

    Meeting James McCann at the Mothership & the surrealness of ‘being on Rogan’

    1. NA

      (drumbeats) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience.

    2. JR

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music) John, John, John McHarg, my man.

    3. JM

      Hey, thank you for having me here.

    4. JR

      My pleasure.

    5. JM

      It's a joy.

    6. JR

      It's a joy to have you, sir. I've been having a good time hanging out with you at the club, so...

    7. JM

      It's been great.

    8. JR

      Felt like we gotta do that.

    9. JM

      This is very... Ah, man, I'm trying not to spin out.

    10. JR

      (laughs)

    11. JM

      This is... I have watched this on a phone before. This is great.

    12. JR

      Well, it's weird for me that it's weird for people, because to me, it's still the same thing. It's just sitting down and talking to people.

    13. JM

      Yeah.

    14. JR

      I've gotten so used to it, even when it's like Trump, or Elon, or some fucking huge cultural figure, it's still just like very...

    15. JM

      You must have spun out at least one time.

    16. JR

      I spun out a bunch of times in the early days. I still spin out every now and then, like, uh, you know, like, you, like Mel Gibson's on the podcast-

    17. JM

      Yeah.

    18. JR

      ... you're like, "Oh, that's really Mel Gibson." Mike Tyson, that's another one. Um, yeah.

    19. JM

      Yeah, he was... Was this where he said he became erect when he wanted to beat people up?

    20. JR

      That was in, uh, California.

    21. JM

      Okay.

    22. JR

      Yeah. That was... (laughs)

    23. JM

      That's a classic.

    24. JR

      (laughs)

    25. JM

      That's a classic, all-time great moment.

    26. JR

      He was, he was scaring the shit out of me. Whew.

    27. JM

      Man, I spin out... When I first got to the club, I was going, it was every week I would, uh...

    28. JR

      It's weird, right?

    29. JM

      When I first met Adam Egert, I went... I, I, I... You know, it's, "Hello, Mr. Egert. H- I've seen you. You denied the Holocaust." (laughs)

    30. JR

      (laughs) Not really. We should be real clear.

  2. 1:41 – 4:08

    Comedy Store politics: bans, the Carlos Mencia plagiarism fight, and losing an agent

    1. JR

      He's the reason... He's one of the reasons why I went back to the store. When I was banned from the store for seven years, Adam came to visit-

    2. JM

      That's seven years?

    3. JR

      Yeah. Well, I banned myself for seven years. They banned me, they were gonna ban me for like a few weeks, I'm like, "Fuck you."

    4. JM

      Yeah.

    5. JR

      Like, "Nay."

    6. JM

      What did you do?

    7. JR

      There's the whole Carlos Mencia thing.

    8. JM

      They banned you for that?

    9. JR

      Yes.

    10. JM

      You won the court of public opinion on that, I'm sure.

    11. JR

      Well, not only did I not really get banned, the guy who banned me was eventually fired. He was the manager there. But Mitzi, uh, gave me a spot that night. It's like-

    12. JM

      Yeah.

    13. JR

      ... before they called me to tell me I was banned, Mitzi was going through a lot of health problems, right? And, you know, Mitzi was... I was very close with her. So, I called her when the whole Mencia thing happened and I said, "Listen, this is, this guy's been a problem. It's a, it's a real issue. People are worried about doi- doing material in front of him."

    14. JM

      Yeah.

    15. JR

      It's like, this is a giant problem. And, you know, I told her the whole thing with the video, and she's like, "All right, well, just keep away from him."

    16. JM

      (laughs)

    17. JR

      "What time do you wanna go up tonight?" And I said, "When do you want me to go up?" And she said, "How about 10:30?" Or whatever it was. And I said, "Thank you. Okay, I love you, bye." We said bye. And then, uh, like, fucking hour, two hours later, I get a call from this manager telling me that I'm, uh, banned from the store for two weeks. And I was like, "What?"

    18. JM

      Yeah.

    19. JR

      I go, "For two weeks? For w- for w-..." I go, "Listen to me right now, I'm not coming back." I go, "I'm not coming back. And you're making a decision that's gonna fuck this club up because you're choosing to take the side of plagiarism-

    20. JM

      Yes.

    21. JR

      ... over someone who's exposing it." Like, the, the agents won't expose it, they're making a shit ton of money, and if The Comedy Store's not gonna side with the artists? I'm like, "Listen," oh, this is the same conversation I had with my agent, I lost my agent too for that.

    22. JM

      I feel like th- those are both important moments in a... Like-

    23. JR

      The agents that-

    24. JM

      I just thought that everybody seems to have a problem with their agent firing them, but also the number of people who have been banned from comedy clubs. I was, Brian Simpson has told me about how he got banned for ages when he was homeless. Uh, who el- there was like five-

    25. JR

      Yeah, he got, he got banned-

    26. JM

      ... people who were all doing bans from comedy club stories.

    27. JR

      But he was, uh... (sighs) He-

    28. JM

      He just didn't show up.

    29. JR

      ... he had some sort of an issue with someone there. And this was like when Brian wasn't Brian Simpson from Netflix, you know?

    30. JM

      Yeah.

  3. 4:08 – 5:52

    McCann’s early ‘problem comic’ era in Australia and learning to stop feuding

    1. JM

      This is what I'm trying to avoid. I did this in Australia a lot.

    2. JR

      You ran afoul?

    3. JM

      I was a problem.

    4. JR

      (laughs)

    5. JM

      And, uh, I couldn't work in certain cities for some time just 'cause I was, I think, unpleasant.

    6. JR

      What were you doing wrong?

    7. JM

      I, you know, I started comedy, I would go around telling people that they sucked-

    8. JR

      (laughs)

    9. JM

      ... and they should quit. And I went to like the head of the Melbourne Comedy Festival. I was in, I was in the comedy competition, it was like my fourth gig. And I was like, "You're picking all the wrong people to win these awards. These guys are better." And it just, uh...

    10. JR

      Ah.

    11. JM

      Anyway, I'm l- we grow older. I was also 18, and I was-

    12. JR

      Yeah.

    13. JM

      ... um-

    14. JR

      Oh, I get it.

    15. JM

      ... very-

    16. JR

      No, it's-

    17. JM

      Yeah, a lot of feuds, a lot of telling people that they sucked.

    18. JR

      Well, when you enter into comedy, you know, a lot of times people treat it weirdly like sports. You know, like they talk shit playing basketball, so they try to talk shit doing comedy, and it's like-

    19. JM

      Yeah.

    20. JR

      ... it's weird.

    21. JM

      I'm get- I've gotten better at it. I think I've purged it for- but sometimes.

    22. JR

      Well, it depends on the-

    23. JM

      Oh.

    24. JR

      ... environment you're in. If you're in an envi-

    25. JM

      Yeah.

    26. JR

      ... in an environment where a lot of people are doing that, it's not fun.

    27. JM

      But this is... I find it easy here 'cause people are... I don't wanna, I don't wanna say that everyone in Australia is bad at comedy. There are many great comics. But I could not for the life of... Like, there, there were times where it's like, "Oh, this could be helpful for your career to get in with someone and have them guide you." And it's like, I just hated everybody's comedy-

    28. JR

      (laughs)

    29. JM

      ... that I met and hung out with. And people who were great would often leave or not be around.

    30. JR

      Australia's kind of a different...

  4. 5:52 – 8:42

    Australia’s festival-driven comedy economy & the era of ‘trauma hour’ shows

    1. JM

      No, Bar-

    2. JR

      I'll watch it.

    3. JM

      ... Barry Humphries was the man, he would dress up like, uh, Dame Edna, this was in the '70s, he's a conservative man.

    4. JR

      No.

    5. JM

      He'd dress up like a housewife, like a very dowdy drag act. And, uh, it was like super funny, really broke through in the UK. And then the festival turned their back on him. He started the Melbourne Comedy Festival, and then he made some like trans remark, and Hannah Gadsby, I think-... it was like, "I'm not taking this award in his name."

    6. JR

      Okay, you're the second funniest Australian. I forgot about Hannah Gadsby.

    7. JM

      And then they changed the award. I, I lose that to Hannah as well. You forget about Hannah. Hannah was a great club act.

    8. JR

      (laughs)

    9. JM

      I tell this to people all the time.

    10. JR

      Ugh.

    11. JM

      No one in a ... No one wants to believe it.

    12. JR

      Well, listen, man. It's just, she did a different thing. A lot of people got mad at that, but I don't get mad at things that are not for me. It's not-

    13. JM

      Ah.

    14. JR

      It's pointless.

    15. JM

      It ... I think it was-

    16. JR

      Took me a while.

    17. JM

      ... it was like a revolutionary act for Americans 'cause I, you don't have comedy festivals in the same way here. But like, e- everyone in Australia was doing the I Got Raped show or the I Wanted to Commit Suicide show.

    18. JR

      Oh, really?

    19. JM

      Yeah. Your show, it, you know, everyone does an hour. That's the only way you can ... There's only five cities, so the comedy festivals are the only way you can really break through and make money. There's five clubs, and once you're done touring them, you got nothing.

    20. JR

      Oh.

    21. JM

      So every, you had to have a new hour every year. There was the-

    22. JR

      Ooh.

    23. JM

      Oh, man. There have been some great I Was Molested shows.

    24. JR

      (laughs)

    25. JM

      Shout out Corey White for one of the greatest I Was Molested shows ever. Uh, who, Dave Quirk had the I Had an Affair show that was great. Uh, Dad's Got Cancer, big show.

    26. JR

      Oh, no.

    27. JM

      Big show. Mom Died When I Was Young.

    28. JR

      So was it-

    29. JM

      Shout out, Eve.

    30. JR

      ... sort of like more like, um, a spoken word thing than you would say standup comedy?

  5. 8:42 – 18:45

    Can comedy be taught? Work ethic, writing, and the ‘greats’ who grind

    1. JR

      ... who really blew me away is Jimmy Carr.

    2. JM

      Yeah.

    3. JR

      Oh my God, he was so on when he was here. He was doing new stuff that he had-

    4. JM

      I saw him run in the new with the pages, yeah.

    5. JR

      Yeah, with the pages, but the polish, like while he's doing the new stuff, he's so good off the cuff that even if the new stuff was going sideways-

    6. JM

      People love him.

    7. JR

      ... he figured out a way to turn it around and, and-

    8. JM

      I wish I could do that.

    9. JR

      ... would address it. And like, oh, he was so good.

    10. JM

      But he, he just sits and writes apparently. He's an animal.

    11. JR

      He's just like ... And he teaches it too. He teaches it. He has a program that they actually ran at the Mothership for up-and-coming comics.

    12. JM

      Can you teach it?

    13. JR

      I think-

    14. JM

      I'm always wary of that.

    15. JR

      W- I don't think you could teach comedy necessarily, but I think you could teach ... You could learn how he does it.

    16. JM

      Mm.

    17. JR

      And you can learn how certain people do it.

    18. JM

      (laughs)

    19. JR

      And I think some of that you can apply. Um, and I think-

    20. JM

      The Mitch Hedberg School of Comedy? You've gotta take a lot of heroin.

    21. JR

      Impossible. Yeah. (laughs)

    22. JM

      And put your hair right over your face.

    23. JR

      I think you can, what you can do though is teach work ethic.

    24. JM

      Yeah.

    25. JR

      And I think that's half the battle. Half the battle is just sitting down and, and actually writing. And no, everyone comes up with an excuse. It's like a cold plunge. Everybody comes up with an excuse-

    26. JM

      Yeah.

    27. JR

      ... why they don't want a cold plunge, and everybody comes up with an excuse why they don't write in front of a computer or on a piece of paper. They always write only on stage.

    28. JM

      Well, so, I mean, go, it's, doing the same thing over and over again was, I, for, I don't know, seven, eight years at the start, I struggled to do it. I had no ... I had like five bad hours of comedy.

    29. JR

      Mm.

    30. JM

      And it wasn't until I probably impregnated my wife, it was like, "I should, I should make sure there's a good five."

  6. 18:45 – 21:19

    Avoiding burnout: recalibrating motivation, health habits, and life outside sets

    1. JR

      You gotta avoid that feeling, right? So it's a, it's a mental collapse. It's, you know, familiarity breeds contempt. It's not just in relationships. It's in anything you do.

    2. JM

      Yeah.

    3. JR

      And that's where you have to re- reset your mind, right? So, like, when you start to feel that coming on, like, "I can't believe I have to do another set. Fuck, I don't wanna do a second show," you have to remember what it was like when you had nothing. And you have to remember what it was like when you would go to open mic night and just, you wouldn't on the, weren't on the list, you didn't make the list, but you just wanted to go on stage so bad.

    4. JM

      Yeah.

    5. JR

      You wanted to go on stage so bad, and you wanted it f- You're like, "I gotta figure this thing out."

    6. JM

      You gotta have your Johnny Cash moment, sitting backstage at the Folsom Prison-

    7. JR

      Yeah, and now-

    8. JM

      ... looking at the water, thinking about your brother.

    9. JR

      ... here you are about to go do a second sold-out show.

    10. JM

      No, it's silly.

    11. JR

      You should be so pumped. It's just a familiarity thing. It's just a mindfuck, but you can get over mind fucks, man. You can get over them if you understand what they are and just recalibrate the way you engage with it.

    12. JM

      Uh, figuring out a way to recalibrate that doesn't kill you in the long run is a good... Like I know some pe- You know?

    13. JR

      Well, you mean cocaine? (laughs)

    14. JM

      Either the cocaine, people get like fucked up, or just play a video game or-

    15. JR

      Yeah.

    16. JM

      ... all week, and then they can get back and do it.

    17. JR

      You don't have to, though. You don't have to do those things.

    18. JM

      I think you gotta do something.

    19. JR

      Yeah.

    20. JM

      You gotta go for a nice walk.

    21. JR

      Yeah.

    22. JM

      I started swimming.

    23. JR

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  7. 21:19 – 23:17

    Swimming, dogs, float tanks, and the art of repression

    1. JM

      I love to swim.

    2. JR

      Oh, you were telling me that.

    3. JM

      Yeah.

    4. JR

      Yeah.

    5. JM

      I'm all about... I've got nothing... I go on stage now and try and talk about how much I love the pool. I got nothing.

    6. JR

      You might figure something out.

    7. JM

      I've done, like, three sets where I stand there and go-

    8. JR

      You might figure it out.

    9. JM

      ... "Isn't swimming beautiful?"

    10. JR

      You'll figure it out.

    11. JM

      And then I say nothing-

    12. JR

      (laughs)

    13. JM

      ... and I wait for something to happen after that.

    14. JR

      (laughs)

    15. JM

      And I go and talk about the next thing.

    16. JR

      Uh, well, it's... You know, one of those exercises that, because you're moving against the resistance of the water, it doesn't damage your joints.

    17. JM

      Yeah.

    18. JR

      And it's like... It feels, like, therapeutic, y- even though it feels like exercise.

    19. JM

      You can get yourself tired if you want. You can slow it down.

    20. JR

      Oh, yeah.

    21. JM

      You can.

    22. JR

      Yeah, and it's fun. I swim with my dog.

    23. JM

      In a lake? In a pool?

    24. JR

      No, in a pool. Me and the dog swim in the pool. He's the f-

    25. JM

      (laughs)

    26. JR

      He's the funniest... He's such a great dog. But-

    27. JM

      I did find your dog Instagram account. Are you running the dog Instagram account?

    28. JR

      No, my wife runs it.

    29. JM

      Okay.

    30. JR

      But he's, um, he's so great that, like, he won't swim unless you're swimming. Like, he knows he's not supposed to just randomly jump in the pool, because then he comes in the house-

  8. 23:17 – 29:13

    Adult circumcision stories, AIDS memorial jokes, and a deep HIV/AIDS contrarian rabbit hole

    1. JM

      I was d- Someone was... I got f- I got circumcised at, like, 32 because I had a-

    2. JR

      Jesus Christ, son.

    3. JM

      ... problem. Lord's name. But it was a beautiful experience. I enjoyed it. I had a nice time.

    4. JR

      Woo! Did you get a rabbi to suck your dick?

    5. JM

      I thought about it. I thought I could leave that in as an option.

    6. JR

      (laughs)

    7. JM

      But also, it's fine. No different.

    8. JR

      I'm not making a joke.

    9. JM

      They do suck the... Sometimes they have a tube. Sometimes they have a special tube with a-

    10. JR

      Yeah, and sometimes they don't.

    11. JM

      You know, sometimes they just get the whole dick removed.

    12. JR

      And, uh, they've given kids herpes and babies have died from it.

    13. JM

      Children do die of the... Yeah.

    14. JR

      Yeah.

    15. JM

      Yeah, it's grim. But circumcision in general, I'm in favor.

    16. JR

      Why?

    17. JM

      Because I had... I know what it was like before, I know what it was like after, it's not a big deal.

    18. JR

      This is, uh-

    19. JM

      But there are people... What I'm saying, people make it their whole life.

    20. JR

      ... one of one study.

    21. JM

      Yeah, I've experienced both as an adult. People go-

    22. JR

      I think most people would not want their dick to be cut for no real reason other than aesthetics. And people are like, "Oh, it prevents AIDS." (laughs) It's like, shut the fuck up.

    23. JM

      (laughs) I got to go to the AIDS Memorial Garden in San Francisco.

    24. JR

      Yeah, and did you show them your new dick?

    25. JM

      Uh, well, people definitely would.

    26. JR

      (laughs)

    27. JM

      It's a lot of nooks and crannies in the AIDS Memorial. Like, they built the perfect place to have sex with a man in the AIDS park.

    28. JR

      Wow. It's perfect, like-

    29. JM

      Someone's definitely gotten AIDS at the AIDS Memorial Garden.

    30. JR

      You think so?

  9. 29:13 – 33:40

    Raw milk, food culture shocks, and how regulation can fail both safety and small producers

    1. JM

      ... I became lactose intolerant when I came to America, uh, 'cause I had raw milk, and then I vomited green bile for a couple of days.

    2. JR

      You ate raw milk here?

    3. JM

      I had like a gallon of raw milk in a day, 'cause it was great.

    4. JR

      So, raw milk, not, um, pasteurized, not homogenized?

    5. JM

      It was, I got it from the farmer's market. The guy looked really strong and healthy-

    6. JR

      (laughs)

    7. JM

      ... and I was like, "I want that cool right-wing milk."

    8. JR

      And that gave you lactose intolerance?

    9. JM

      I don't know. I liked the milk so much, I like to believe it wasn't that. But it was-

    10. JR

      Maybe you just drank-

    11. JM

      But it was the next day.

    12. JR

      ... too much of it.

    13. JM

      I think I got some sort of weird bacteria. But I was, yeah, I've... Oh, green bile, both ends.

    14. JR

      Really?

    15. JM

      Yes. Lost a lot of weight.

    16. JR

      I mean, you're gonna, right now, you're destroying the raw milk industry-

    17. JM

      I'm still-

    18. JR

      ... single-handedly.

    19. JM

      I would li- It also, it was the most beautiful milk I've ever had.

    20. JR

      Yeah.

    21. JM

      I don't wanna be negative about raw milk. If you can have it and it doesn't do that to you, whew.

    22. JR

      I think raw-

    23. JM

      Have you had the raw milk?

    24. JR

      I have.

    25. JM

      It's like drinking a secret.

    26. JR

      I think raw milk should be like raw meat. Leave me alone.

    27. JM

      (laughs)

    28. JR

      Leave me alone. I know how to cook a steak, right?

    29. JM

      Yeah.

    30. JR

      You don't, you don't tell me how to cook a steak. You let me buy raw milk. Let me buy it.

  10. 33:40 – 44:00

    Over-regulation vs. Wild West: housing codes, licensing, weed laws, and how power accumulates

    1. JM

      But I think those standards are put there by the big corpo- ... Like, I, I was thinking about, uh, like housing zones and districting. Like, in Australia, the median house price is $1 million. It's ... You just ... you can't buy ... No one in my generation is buying a home. It's a weird-

    2. JR

      Right.

    3. JM

      S- ... There's so much land, there's a lot of stuff. You should just be able to, like, whip up a slum with the, with your bros. You go to a valley where no one is and you all live in a ... That would be better to some extent, rather than, like, renting in a horrible thing forever. You go ... You used to be able to just, like, build a horrible thing. You know? There was no building regulations. Sometimes the ceiling would collapse and people would die, but-

    4. JR

      So, you think that's better, to have no regulations?

    5. JM

      I th- ... Yeah.

    6. JR

      Really?

    7. JM

      Yes.

    8. JR

      But that's how, like, stadiums collapse on people in third world countries.

    9. JM

      No doubt bad things will also happen.

    10. JR

      No, that's a dumb idea.

    11. JM

      I-

    12. JR

      Yeah, d-

    13. JM

      ... I'm not saying no regulation.

    14. JR

      D-

    15. JM

      All right? I'm gonna walk back no regulation.

    16. JR

      Okay.

    17. JM

      But it would be nice if the regulation was somehow written just with the safety in mind, and not so that ... I mean, there are insane re- ... Like, there are buildings up now that are perfectly safe that wouldn't pass code if they were built today. You couldn't build them again now.

    18. JR

      Why wouldn't they pass code?

    19. JM

      'Cause they do things like, you know, the door has to be this far away from the stairs, the ceiling has to be this height-

    20. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    21. JM

      Th- th- ... It, it needs eight fire beeping detectors.

    22. JR

      Yeah.

    23. JM

      And the same way that ... You know, like, you can't cut hair without getting a degree. You need, like, a certificate to be a hairdresser. And they go, "This is to make haircutting safer." But, like, people were cutting hair without-

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    26. JR

      Okay, cutting hair is not as big an issue. I think we should go back to the houses.

    27. JM

      All right, go ahead.

    28. JR

      Like-... if you want to save lives, you, you want houses that you can escape in a, in the case of a fire. And if you don't hold-

    29. JM

      Absolutely.

    30. JR

      ... if you don't hold the builder accountable, the person who's making that house, even if they're making it for themselves, they will then sell that house to someone else most likely. And that person will not be in a house that's necessarily the safest it could be. It just makes sense-

  11. 44:00 – 1:02:04

    Coups, assassinations, and statecraft as ‘organized gangsterism’ (CIA, Mossad, and beyond)

    1. JM

      You're meant to... That's part of democracy. Ah, do you know about Castro?

    2. JR

      What about him?

    3. JM

      I've just, I've... I'm, I'm in a big Wikipedia wormhole about Castro. I didn't know that he hid that he was a communist until he-

    4. JR

      He hid it?

    5. JM

      He wasn't a communist or he kept that quiet. He was, like, a middle-class revolutionary. And then, uh, his brother was a commie, but he was, like... He didn't come out and say he was a communist until later and the CIA helped him. I've, I've been reading Castro speeches.

    6. JR

      CIA helped him take over Cuba?

    7. JM

      It looks like the CIA might've been... And then towards the end, they said-

    8. JR

      Well-

    9. JM

      ... "We gotta get out of this. This is no good."

    10. JR

      (sighs)

    11. JM

      They really, they changed horses.

    12. JR

      Jesus Christ.

    13. JM

      They were really involved on both sides, but they were, uh...

    14. JR

      D- do we do that everywhere?

    15. JM

      Y- there's one Aussie-

    16. JR

      This country is so wild.

    17. JM

      There's one Aussie that you might've done. Uh, Gough Whitlam might've been taken out by the CIA.

    18. JR

      Jesus Christ.

    19. JM

      No, he was, uh... He was also a problem, and people were quite happy to have him go. But the governor general, man...

    20. JR

      Bro.

    21. JM

      I don't have to go into too much detail. It's... Look it up, Pine Gap. You have a military base in Australia, and he wanted to, like, get rid of it or get off American energy subsidies or something.

    22. JR

      Oh, boy.

    23. JM

      And then all of a sudden he was removed.

    24. JR

      Oh, boy.

    25. JM

      And we haven't rocked that boat again.

    26. JR

      We are so good at that.

    27. JM

      Yeah.

    28. JR

      Between us and the Israelis. The Israelis do the wildest assassinations. Like, did you see the one of them that they did with the Iranian generals? Let's see, make sure that this is true, Jamie.

    29. JM

      I can get my visa removed for criticizing Israel.

    30. JR

      No, no, no. It's, this is a, this is not a criticism.

  12. 1:02:04 – 1:06:37

    Cultural shock stories: bride kidnapping, foot binding, neck rings—and nature’s own horrors

    1. JR

      Definitely animals switch genders. The, the animals, like, especially, like, primitive reptilian-type fucking weird animals-

    2. JM

      Yeah.

    3. JR

      ... they can... There's ce- there's certain animals that can switch their genders.

    4. JM

      I think seahorse ladies have a penis.

    5. JR

      I think so.

    6. JM

      Am I getting that?

    7. JR

      You know hyenas have a penis, females.

    8. JM

      No, I didn't know that.

    9. JR

      Bigger than the males.

    10. JM

      Just for show? Just for-

    11. JR

      No, they dominate the males. The, they're bigger than the-

    12. JM

      They peg the males with it?

    13. JR

      Yes. Female t- hyenas, they're, they're one of the rare matriarchal mammals. So the females are bigger than the males-

    14. JM

      Yeah.

    15. JR

      ... they have more testosterone than the males, and they have bigger dicks. And they hold the males down, "Look here, you want some of this pussy?" And then the male has to take his little dick and stick it inside of her big dick.

    16. JM

      Oh, but the big lady dick-

    17. JR

      And that's-

    18. JM

      ... just slapping against his belly?

    19. JR

      Yeah, you want to hear even worse? 60% of all hyenas that are born suffocate to death during childbirth coming out of that dick.

    20. JM

      Why?

    21. JR

      'Cause they're coming out of the dick.

    22. JM

      They come out of the dick?

    23. JR

      Uh-huh. Yeah.

    24. JM

      The vagina's on the tip of the dick?

    25. JR

      No, it's, it's really a vagina.

    26. JM

      Come on. Hold on.

    27. JR

      It's a vagina, but it's like a long dick.

    28. JM

      Can we see the hyena-

    29. G(

      Say that first, okay?

    30. JR

      Oh, it's, it's bananas. It's bananas.

Episode duration: 2:52:33

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