EVERY SPOKEN WORD
150 min read · 30,120 words- 0:00 – 1:34
Desk collectibles, gift culture, and the Aztec death whistle curse
- NANarrator
(drum beat) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
- JJJordan Jensen
The Joe Rogan Experience.
- JRJoe Rogan
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (instrumental music plays) Jordan.
- JJJordan Jensen
Hello.
- JRJoe Rogan
What up? What's up?
- JJJordan Jensen
Oh, good. I got my legal pad here.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, in case you need, uh, to write notes.
- JJJordan Jensen
I'm gonna take notes on what you're doing right and wrong.
- JRJoe Rogan
(splutters)
- JJJordan Jensen
And I'll give them to you at the end.
- JRJoe Rogan
I... Uh, tell me.
- JJJordan Jensen
Okay, I will.
- JRJoe Rogan
So I can figure out what the wrong stuff is.
- JJJordan Jensen
I will.
- JRJoe Rogan
And stop doing it.
- JJJordan Jensen
I wanna fuck with all this stuff, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
I know, there's so much shit.
- JJJordan Jensen
It's crazy.
- JRJoe Rogan
And people keep giving me new shit.
- JJJordan Jensen
I know. I brought a little, tiny figurine of a little thing on stage one time, and every single meet and greet, people give me these little, tiny animals.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JJJordan Jensen
So now I have this giant collection of them. And I'm like, "I don't like these that much."
- JRJoe Rogan
That's the problem is, like, everybody knows that I keep a bunch of shit on this desk, so people give me shit to put on this desk. And now it's getting kind of crazy.
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, where I'm gonna have to have a shelf.
- JJJordan Jensen
I had to get a shelf. I got one of those old typewriter keyboard things.
- JRJoe Rogan
Look, I have, like, mammoth teeth. This is, uh, a piece of art that was cut-
- JJJordan Jensen
Oh, somebody gave me one of these.
- JRJoe Rogan
... cut out of a wooly mammoth tooth. Oh, that's a... Don't blow it.
- JJJordan Jensen
I won't.
- 1:34 – 4:27
Amanda Knox, wrongful narratives, and the brutality of solitary confinement
- JJJordan Jensen
Right. You're the COVID guy. I was listening to your podcast with, um... What's the woman who got falsely accused?
- JRJoe Rogan
Of what?
- JJJordan Jensen
Of, uh, murdering her roommate.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah.
- JJJordan Jensen
I was listening to that one, and I, like, fast-forwarded it one moment, and it went from her being like, "And then I was in prison for four years," to you being like, "Well, the bat's been COVID." And I was like-
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JJJordan Jensen
... "How did we, how did we get here?" (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, that was a fascinating podcast. Amanda Knox, she's got a Netflix series out right now, uh, where someone plays her, which has gotta be super fucking weird.
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, someone else plays her-
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... in, like, a dramatization of her getting wrongly accused at 20 years old of a murder, where they had all this evidence that this guy, who broke into the house, fucking murdered her. His, like, his DNA was there. And they ignored it because they didn't wanna admit that they were wrong.
- NANarrator
It's on Hulu.
- JRJoe Rogan
Hulu, sorry.
- NANarrator
Yeah.
- JJJordan Jensen
I don't really get-
- JRJoe Rogan
Did I say Netflix?
- JJJordan Jensen
... how that happens.
- NANarrator
It's the tale of an animal.
- JRJoe Rogan
Because cops are cunts.
- JJJordan Jensen
Right, but did they not check-
- JRJoe Rogan
Just like people are cunts, not all cops.
- JJJordan Jensen
Did they not see sperm everywhere? Oh, no. The guy was like, "I fucked her."
- JRJoe Rogan
No, I don't know what he said. I don't know what happened, but I know that they ha- started... They had a narrative.
- JJJordan Jensen
Oh, that he was in on it.
- JRJoe Rogan
No, no, no.
- JJJordan Jensen
No-
- JRJoe Rogan
They had a nar- well, they had a narrative that she did it, that she caused the murder.
- JJJordan Jensen
Right.
- JRJoe Rogan
And the guy started with that, and he stuck with it. And even when there was evidence that showed that it was... There was a guy in there, and that the guy did it, and that the window was broken, and somebody broke into the house, and like...
- 4:27 – 8:03
Touring isolation, waking up lost, and why a dog helps
- JJJordan Jensen
Well, it's like when you don't do anything all day, and then you get right up on stage. Have you ever done that? Where you don't talk to anybody-
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, it's the worst.
- JJJordan Jensen
... (laughs) and you feel insane? Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs) It's the worst. The first conversation of the day are on stage.
- JJJordan Jensen
It's crazy.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, that's why I always bring friends on the road.
- JJJordan Jensen
Totally.
- JRJoe Rogan
You don't wanna be like that weirdo in the hotel room by yourself.
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah. And then you take a nap, and then sun goes down-
- JRJoe Rogan
Not talkin' to anybody.
- JJJordan Jensen
... while you're napping. That's the worst feeling.
- JRJoe Rogan
Ugh. (laughs)
- JJJordan Jensen
That... When I do that, it feels like I'm haunting the audience. Like, I'm like, "You guys are in a different reality, and I'm, I'm intruding on where you're at."
- JRJoe Rogan
The weird one is when you wake up and you don't know what city you're in.
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah, but that's why I got the dog.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh.
- JJJordan Jensen
I was so sick of that feeling. I was so sick of waking up and being like, "I've been abducted. Where am I? This place is nicer than my apartment, so that's good."
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JJJordan Jensen
"But where am I?" And then I saw my dog, and I was like, "Oh, we're all right."
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs) That's not the only reason why you got your dog.
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah, and she rolls. Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JJJordan Jensen
And she's awesome.
- JRJoe Rogan
She does roll.
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
She's really sweet.
- JJJordan Jensen
She's very cool.
- JRJoe Rogan
She's so cute. How long have you had her?
- JJJordan Jensen
Two years.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, that's awesome.
- 8:03 – 11:28
Dog lifespans, pet grief, and the lure of longevity drugs and cloning
- JRJoe Rogan
Apparently there's a drug that they've developed for, for dogs. Like a longevity drug. I don't know if they've released it yet, but, uh, I know that it shows promise and ex- it extend dogs' lifetime.
- JJJordan Jensen
Whitney Cummings the other day said that her friend, her friend's like soul dog died the other day, and she said, "When the dog dies, you like learn something about yourself that's very important. So I've been holding onto that kind of woo-woo thing." Like, she's like, "You kind of show up for yourself in a way you need to."
- JRJoe Rogan
I don't know if I'd listen to Whitney on that.
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She does what she has to-
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs) Wh- he gets a little woo-woo with her doggies.
- JJJordan Jensen
I like how Whitney has a, has something to say about everything though.
- JRJoe Rogan
Rapamycin. Uh-
- JJJordan Jensen
Wrap him on ice, take him off. He's still living.
- JRJoe Rogan
I've heard of rapamycin before, because rapamycin is something that, uh, Peter Attia is, uh, a big proponent of for longevity.
- JJJordan Jensen
The, the guy who wants to live forever?
- JRJoe Rogan
No, no that's Bryan Johnson. Uh, "Another study at Texas A&M University showed rapamycin could extend the lifespan of older dogs by up to 20%. Generally well-tolerated, however it can cause side effects such as lethargy, lack of appetite." Oh, boy. Huh.
- JJJordan Jensen
No, you can't do it.
- JRJoe Rogan
Interesting. Is that it? 'Cause I think there was something else, it was like a gene therapy.
- JJJordan Jensen
Is it? What happened to the cloning thing? What happened to CRISPR?
- JRJoe Rogan
They probably already made clones.
- JJJordan Jensen
But why did we not hear about that? Weren't they cloning sheep and shit?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yep.
- JJJordan Jensen
And then we just stopped hearing about it? (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, they probably made a bunch of people already.
- JJJordan Jensen
(laughs) Yeah, what is that?
- JRJoe Rogan
The people telling you about clones are probably clones.
- JJJordan Jensen
You ever see a person that looks exactly like another person, and then you ask them their name and it's the same name? And you're like, "No fucking way."
- JRJoe Rogan
You know the story about those two baseball players?
- JJJordan Jensen
No.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, it's the nuttiest shit of all time. These two baseball players look exactly the same, have the exact same name-
- JJJordan Jensen
No way.
- JRJoe Rogan
... and never met each other, and they both play baseball.
- JJJordan Jensen
Let me see 'em. Let me see 'em.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, it's bananas. These two guys.
- JJJordan Jensen
Oh my God.
- 11:28 – 13:59
‘The Substance,’ beauty obsession, and Jordan’s theatrical fainting story
- JRJoe Rogan
Did you see that movie with Demi Moore called The Substance?
- JJJordan Jensen
Okay, I fainted in the theater.
- JRJoe Rogan
Bro.
- JJJordan Jensen
(laughs) I fainted so hard.
- JRJoe Rogan
Bro, that movie is nuts.
- JJJordan Jensen
It's nuts. I'm actually very-
- JRJoe Rogan
It's nuts.
- JJJordan Jensen
... pro that movie. Like, I love the narrative. I-
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, it was great.
- JJJordan Jensen
I love the idea of that, when you get all that face shit, you're just keeping an old person alive.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. (laughs)
- JJJordan Jensen
I've tried to describe that on stage so much where I'm like, "Doesn't it bother you that when people are like, 'You look good for your age,' you're just like hide it? Like you're concealing your death glare?"
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- JJJordan Jensen
You know what I mean?
- JRJoe Rogan
Right, right, right.
- JJJordan Jensen
Like... And that movie portrayed that perfectly-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JJJordan Jensen
... where it's just a fucking...
- JRJoe Rogan
It's kind of ironic that Demi Moore, who looks insanely good at 62-
- JJJordan Jensen
Mm-hmm.
- JRJoe Rogan
... played that lady.
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
You know? 'Cause like-
- JJJordan Jensen
But I liked that because it showed, like, even when you saw her weird, old lady butt, you were like, "That's Demi's, Moore's nice butt, but I'm still, like, in awe of the young girl's butt."
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah.
- JJJordan Jensen
Which is unacceptable.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's unacceptable.
- JJJordan Jensen
You know what I mean?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JJJordan Jensen
Like when she was doing the whole dance, and you're like, "Why is this so intense?"
- 13:59 – 16:28
Vasovagal syncope: fainting, family genetics, and chaotic injury stories
- JJJordan Jensen
It's called vasovagal.
- JRJoe Rogan
Okay, but is that a psychological thing? Because it's obviously, like, your reaction to a thing.
- JJJordan Jensen
I-
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, I wonder if you can temper that somehow.
- JJJordan Jensen
Here's the problem with it, is why I don't... I used to think it was psychological, like me and my dad pictured things too well. Like, we pictured it-
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- JJJordan Jensen
... the needle going in. But vasovagal, like, sometimes I'll be putting an earring in and I'll fucking-
- JRJoe Rogan
You just faint? (laughs)
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah, like, so I think it is-
- JRJoe Rogan
You should wear a helmet everywhere-
- JJJordan Jensen
I know, I know.
- JRJoe Rogan
... so you don't bounce your head off the fucking linoleum.
- JJJordan Jensen
It's so fucked up.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh my God.
- JJJordan Jensen
So I think it is neurological.
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, I bet, but also triggered by high states of anxiety, right?
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
So that's what you would be able to control. You wouldn't be able to control the fact that you do faint when you have a high level of anxiety. So, uh, vasovagal response, sudden overreaction of the body's autonomic nervous system to a trigger such as pain or emotional stress, uh, or music, that causes a temporary drop in heart rate and blood pressure. (singing)
- JJJordan Jensen
There's a whole part of my special where I talk about me and this guy who was also a fainter having sex.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh my God.
- JJJordan Jensen
And...
- JRJoe Rogan
You both fainted?
- JJJordan Jensen
A lot.
- JRJoe Rogan
Nice.
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's hot. (laughs)
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah, it was rough. It was rough.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JJJordan Jensen
'Cause when you faint, it comes with sweating and seeing white.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- 16:28 – 19:07
Intrusive thoughts and performance anxiety: ‘what if I do something terrible?’
- JJJordan Jensen
I've panicked. Well, another problem is I get, when I, I panic when I have really bad intrusive thoughts. Like, I, I was around a famous person recently, and I was convinced I was gonna bite, bite her.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JJJordan Jensen
(laughs) And I started getting a full panic, which makes you wanna faint.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh.
- JJJordan Jensen
But it's a, is a, it's a different thing. But both lead to fainting. (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
I knew a dude who was a warmup guy, you know, he'd just do warmup.
- JJJordan Jensen
Mm-hmm.
- JRJoe Rogan
And he had a real problem with anxiety. He just would freak out and... He was a comic and just, it never worked out for him because his anxiety would just overwhelm him.
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
And one time he was warming up for The Cosby Show and he got this idea in his head that he was gonna say the N-word.
- JJJordan Jensen
Of course.
- JRJoe Rogan
And he's like, "Don't say it."
- JJJordan Jensen
Of course.
- JRJoe Rogan
"Don't say it." And he-
- JJJordan Jensen
Oh, The Cosby Show.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. So he's warming up for The Cosby Show. So he's, you know, basically in the crowd warming up. "Okay, so here, in the next scene, Dr. Huxtable's gonna come in..." And all his mind is telling him is, "Don't say the N-word."
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
He was not, not gonna say it. He was never gonna say it. But for whatever reason, he was overwhelmed by this fear of saying the N-word in this, like, very, you know-
- JJJordan Jensen
It's so real.
- JRJoe Rogan
... predominantly Black audience. And he completely had a meltdown-
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... while he was doing warmup.
- JJJordan Jensen
Where he was panicking.
- JRJoe Rogan
Full panic attack.
- JJJordan Jensen
I, with my special ta- ping, I thought I was gonna hit somebody with a stool. Mine is violence.
- JRJoe Rogan
Really?
- JJJordan Jensen
I think I'm going to bite. I think I'm gonna... Yeah, totally. Or on airplanes, I'm worried I'm gonna pull the exit thing off.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JJJordan Jensen
All the time. Mine is very vi- or the person next to me, I'm gonna bite down on. Uh-
- JRJoe Rogan
That's probably a better response than, like, sh- shrieking and-
- 19:07 – 25:16
Celebrity encounters feel unreal: Daryl Hannah, Matt Damon, and Peter Dinklage chaos
- JRJoe Rogan
I accidentally sat next to Daryl Hannah once at Canter's Deli in the '90s.
- JJJordan Jensen
Okay.
- JRJoe Rogan
And, uh, they were doing some fucking game. They were playing some game. Her and her friends were playing some game with, like, states, like figure out, like, what... you know, what's the Keystone State? Like that kind of shit.
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
And I was helping her, but she was totally normal. Like it was ne- we never acknowledged that she's Daryl Hannah at Canter's Deli.
- JJJordan Jensen
Playing a game?
- JRJoe Rogan
She's just, like, super chill.
- JJJordan Jensen
That's so nice.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. Her and her friends were having a sandwich, just laughing and doing some game about states.
- JJJordan Jensen
They're normal as hell. D- Matt Damon was at the Cellar recently and I couldn't... I was so fucked up at how (laughs) ... I don't know how it was fucking me up so much. I do too many... I micro dosed too many of my shrooms. But I was like, "His arms and hands are so Matt Damon's arms and hands."
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JJJordan Jensen
Like, I knew them so well and he was, like, gesticulating and I was like, "I fucking know those fricking arms." It was crazy.
- JRJoe Rogan
From movies, yeah.
- JJJordan Jensen
From movies, yeah, like just moving. It's weird to know somebody so well and never have spoken to them. It's disturbing.
- JRJoe Rogan
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- NANarrator
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- JRJoe Rogan
I, I met Matt Damon in Italy at a restaurant where he was sitting underneath a photo of himself.
- JJJordan Jensen
That's weird.
- JRJoe Rogan
This, this, this-
- JJJordan Jensen
Did he choose to sit there? (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
No, no, no. The, the restaurant owner had him there before. It was a nice table.
- JJJordan Jensen
Oh.
- JRJoe Rogan
And there's photos all over the wall of celebrities-
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... that had been there before. And so Matt Damon went and sat down at the table where the photo of this owner, you know, taking a picture with Matt Damon is.
- JJJordan Jensen
That's some meta shit.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JJJordan Jensen
That's crazy. He seems really sweet.
- JRJoe Rogan
He's a very nice guy. Super normal guy. There's a lot of them that are, like, super normal.
- JJJordan Jensen
The funniest story ever is-
- 25:16 – 28:14
Dragged on Twitter: context collapse, dogpiles, and ‘mental illness factory’ social media
- JJJordan Jensen
I just went through a horrible Twitter thing last night. And-
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, no.
- JJJordan Jensen
Dude, I got dragged.
- JRJoe Rogan
You can't read that stuff.
- JJJordan Jensen
I d- I, dude, it was a fan-
- JRJoe Rogan
It's so-
- JJJordan Jensen
... hit me up and goes, "Don't go on Twitter." And I went on Twitter, and it was so, this crazy o- out of context thing, where I was like talking, I was on Stav's podcast, and I was talking about how, I was talking about this guy who used the word, I'm not gonna say it, T-R-A, I don't know how to spell it, N-N-Y?
- JRJoe Rogan
Okay.
- JJJordan Jensen
Is that how you spell it? (laughs) He used that word. And I was being like, that word is so fucking antiquated that at this point to me, it j- it sounds like somebody's just calling like a drag queen that.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- JJJordan Jensen
And everybody took it as me saying that trans people are in drag.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, god.
- JJJordan Jensen
And it like, dude, it was just like, went at me. And like the crazy thing is, I thought I was being woke on that podcast. I had like friends of mine being like, "Fuck Jord..." Like it was crazy.
- JRJoe Rogan
Friends of yours?
- JJJordan Jensen
Friend, I mean friendly people, like people I work with.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, those people can go eat shit. Those pylon people, they can all go eat shit.
- JJJordan Jensen
But that was my like first big one.
- JRJoe Rogan
Fuck you.
- JJJordan Jensen
I've had one before, but that was like... (fingers snap)
- JRJoe Rogan
Those, that kind of shit pushes people away from all the things you're trying to promote. Like it does, it s- it doesn't mean that people hate trans people if they say something like that. That's not what you're saying. And-
- JJJordan Jensen
I was saying the opposite. I was being like, this guy was such an asshole for using that f- word.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JJJordan Jensen
Also, that word is so corny-
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- JJJordan Jensen
... that I feel like at this point, it's not even referenced to, to transgender people, that it's like what we say for drag basically.
- JRJoe Rogan
But some people still use it.
- JJJordan Jensen
Totally.
- JRJoe Rogan
But, but it's, uh, that's not the point. The point is, it's like y- what are you trying to do? You're not trying to hurt anybody's feelings. So shut the fuck up. Everybody's just looking for a reason to be offended. It's just v- trying to find anything that they can like, "Green light, go."
- JJJordan Jensen
And just pulling it out?
- JRJoe Rogan
There's no reason, no, no nuance. Yeah, of course.
- 28:14 – 33:28
UFO footage skepticism, AI fakes, and the Epstein birthday drawing script
- JRJoe Rogan
See what's in the news, what the f- like, a UFO got shot with a Hellfire missile and they, they have footage today. And Rep. Luna-
- JJJordan Jensen
What?
- JRJoe Rogan
Uh, yeah, they, they were talking about it in hearings today. There's a video of a-
- JJJordan Jensen
In hearings?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yes. There's a video of a UFO getting hit by a Hellfire missile, and the Hellfire missile just blows apart and the UFO just keeps moving.
- JJJordan Jensen
What it, what was the UFO? What did it look like?
- JRJoe Rogan
It was like a dot on a screen-
- JJJordan Jensen
Oh, okay, okay.
- JRJoe Rogan
... like they always look. They look like shit.
- JJJordan Jensen
I saw something weird coming down from the moon the other day.
- JRJoe Rogan
For real, for real?
- JJJordan Jensen
Do not know what it was.
- JRJoe Rogan
Look at this. So watch this. (clears throat) So the, here's the UFO, there's the missile. Watch, this happens. Does it... It just knocks it around-
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... and then the thing just gets right back on track, which is bananas.
- JJJordan Jensen
Wow.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like anything that gets hit by a Hellfire missile usually gets fucking obliterated, especially something that's literally the size of the missile.
- JJJordan Jensen
It's cruising.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, it's flying. I mean, not fast enough that it could duck a missile. So which is kind of weird that it let itself get hit.
- NANarrator
It's hard to see even what happened. It's-
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- NANarrator
Like what are those, that little-
- JRJoe Rogan
Right, it's animation.
- NANarrator
... pointy spheres things. What is that?
- JRJoe Rogan
It's fucking Pong. We're, we're looking at Pong. (laughs) You know?
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's like an old video game, a really shitty video game. This is the, this is why I have the hardest time getting excited about any of this stuff.
- JJJordan Jensen
Because like-
- JRJoe Rogan
Because like I don't know what I just saw. You're telling me I saw a Hellfire missile hit a UFO. It's like, you know, you're, you're reading Morse code to me. I don't know.
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah. Well, AI is some of that too, where now it's like I can't even go on Instagram. It's not even fun anymore-
- 33:28 – 36:41
Ancient Egypt precision vases, aliens-on-the-fence, and psychedelic ‘entities’
- JJJordan Jensen
They kicked Epstein out? Can I touch this?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. That is-
- JJJordan Jensen
Oh, that's heavy.
- JRJoe Rogan
... a recreation. That's a 3D-printed recreation of these very strange vases that they found in Egypt that are part of an older dynasty that are so exact. And the way they did it is completely unknown. That is just a piece of plastic, but it's, that's an actual 3D re- creation of the original vase.
- JJJordan Jensen
That you think aliens did?
- JRJoe Rogan
No, no, no, no. I think a very complex ancient civilization that was wiped out by some sort of a cataclysmic disaster that had very sophisticated technology. Because that was... Was it diorite that that was carved out of?
- NANarrator
Diorite, yeah, um...
- JJJordan Jensen
Are you an alien guy, or are you an agnostic alien guy?
- JRJoe Rogan
I'm on the fence.
- JJJordan Jensen
You're on the fence?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JJJordan Jensen
You were alien guy?
- JRJoe Rogan
I've been back and forth.
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Off the fence, on the fence.
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
I've been over the other side. I go back and forth. I think it's highly unlikely that we're alone. Highly unlikely.
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
And there's just too many stories of people having encounters with something for... People have been writing these things down for thousands of years. I haven't had any experience, though.
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Other than-
- JJJordan Jensen
I think if... It's like a relationship. If you want it, too bad, you won't get it.
- JRJoe Rogan
Other than psychedelics. Which makes me go, "Huh."
- JJJordan Jensen
You've seen guys?
- JRJoe Rogan
No, I've seen stuff. I've seen entities.
- JJJordan Jensen
Really?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, 100%. I've had interactions with other beings. But I mean-
- JJJordan Jensen
Tree entities or, like, space entities? I've had tree entities.
- JRJoe Rogan
Things that didn't have, like, a form-
- JJJordan Jensen
Mm-hmm.
- 36:41 – 41:19
Post-special whiplash: bombing new material, ego checks, and staying evergreen
- JJJordan Jensen
(laughs) You know, it's crazy. I just had this big revelation the other day where I was like, "What if everything is all right?" Like, I'm writing, and then this Twitter thing happened, and I'm like, "I wanna die." Everybody started... And I was like, "Oh, yeah." Sometimes I feel like when you have those revelations, you get a little tested.You ever feel like that?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yes.
- JJJordan Jensen
Like, I'll be like-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JJJordan Jensen
... when I'm thing, when I'm like, okay. You know, like, I was, my head was so big about the Netflix coming out. I drop into the creek yesterday, do a new joke s- set. Bomb. Just bomb the whole way through. Sweating.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JJJordan Jensen
Sweating in front of these people. They're like, they don't know who I am. They're just like, "What are you saying?" And I was like, "Well, g-" Just trying brand new weird stuff.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- JJJordan Jensen
'Cause my ego's so big that I'm like, "I don't even need to workshop this shit, bitch." And I do it, and they're just like, "We don't understand you." And I'm like, "Anyway, watch the special. It's a lot better than that." (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs) It is the most humbling thing to work on new stuff after you put out a special.
- JJJordan Jensen
Ugh.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's the most humbling 'cause you have-
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... no weapons.
- JJJordan Jensen
And you just were doing shows where you're like, ba-da-ba, ba-da-ba-
- JRJoe Rogan
Killing it.
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Bam. Tight. Ready.
- JJJordan Jensen
Totally.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JJJordan Jensen
Looking at the notepad and being like, "What else? Still nothing on there." Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Nothing to think of.
- JJJordan Jensen
It's crazy.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's the hardest thing, is like coming up with subjects, you know? Coming-
- JJJordan Jensen
It's also hard when your brain is preoccupied with putting out a special, I've noticed.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right. Right.
- JJJordan Jensen
You know? Like, I'm like, I'm editing. I'm thinking about shit, promotion. And then-
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm.
- JJJordan Jensen
... I'm like, have to... But that's why I think you have to take time.
- JRJoe Rogan
100%.
- 41:19 – 43:07
New York struggle choices and the Ithaca escape hatch
- JRJoe Rogan
But it's a weird time for the real estate market right now.
- JJJordan Jensen
I bought a house in Ithaca, which is-
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah? Upstate?
- JJJordan Jensen
... which is sick. Yeah, upstate. Which is-
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, you're one of them people that gets a upstate house.
- JJJordan Jensen
Well, it's-
- JRJoe Rogan
You go to visit.
- JJJordan Jensen
... it's like five hours from New York, so.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah?
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah. People are like, "Upstate?" And I'm like, "No, it's like paintball upstate, dude." It's-
- JRJoe Rogan
So do you take a flight or you drive?
- JJJordan Jensen
I take a, there's a flight from JFK now, which is sick.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh.
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
And you go to Ithaca and what, just watch TV?
- JJJordan Jensen
Chill. I just, I mainly just work on the house and work on the, you know, just do shit to get it up and running. I don't know what I'm gonna do when it's done.
- JRJoe Rogan
So you just like being, uh, in a small town?
- JJJordan Jensen
Well, my family's there.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh.
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Okay, that makes sense.
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah. My niece is there.
- JRJoe Rogan
That makes sense.
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Okay.
- JJJordan Jensen
But I like hiding.
- JRJoe Rogan
'Cause I was like, did you just pick Ithaca? I don't... (laughs)
- JJJordan Jensen
No way. No way. My whole family's there. And I was so sick of going home and having to stay with my mom the whole time and...
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, that's smart.
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah. She walked in on me-
- 43:07 – 1:02:07
Dad’s smoking, recovery frameworks, and psychedelics reshaping OCD
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- JJJordan Jensen
It's like, he, like, knew it was happening and was like, "I'd rather die."
- JRJoe Rogan
Did the cigarettes get him?
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah. Cigarettes and Dunkin' Donuts.
- JRJoe Rogan
Ugh.
- JJJordan Jensen
He loved Dunkin' Donuts donuts.
- JRJoe Rogan
Both of those things-
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... very addictive.
- JJJordan Jensen
Very addictive.
- JRJoe Rogan
(sighs)
- JJJordan Jensen
He was a heavy smoker. That's why I want to kill Ian all the time.
- JRJoe Rogan
'Cause he smokes so much?
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JJJordan Jensen
And he sounds like my dad with the (imitates coughing) where you laugh and you go (imitates coughing) .
- JRJoe Rogan
Ian seems like he really enjoys it, though.
- JJJordan Jensen
You... Th- that's what everybody says-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- JJJordan Jensen
... until they're hacking up a lung and they have to leave a movie theater halfway through to go smoke.
- JRJoe Rogan
How much does Ian smoke a day?
- JJJordan Jensen
I think he's down. I think he's down to, like, a pack and a half.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, God.
- JJJordan Jensen
He's getting there.
- JRJoe Rogan
That's a lot.
- JJJordan Jensen
I need to get him onto zins, but he thinks that's gay.
- JRJoe Rogan
Zins are gay?
- JJJordan Jensen
He thinks... Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
What about all the stuff he talks about on stage?
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah. That, he thinks, is-
- 1:02:07 – 1:14:46
Rogan’s politics, tribal swings, COVID resentment, and pharma skepticism (plus Ozempic)
- JRJoe Rogan
The idea that this, like, that you had to be ... Like...... I'm not even a Republican. Like, I voted for Trump because I thought w- we were going in a terrifying direction where there was not really a president for four years, and the same people are now gonna be running the government. Like, let's-
- JJJordan Jensen
Weren't you, like, a Bernie bro?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yes. So, like, I've only voted Republican once in my life. The idea that you have to be a Republican to get in at that club is so ridiculous. That club is filled with gay people, Black people, straight people, white people, Asian. No one gives a fuck.
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah, that green room is colorful as fuck.
- JRJoe Rogan
Just, you're just doing comedy. You're just doing comedy. Whoever you are, whatever you believe, we have tons of lively discussions-
- JJJordan Jensen
I will say, one time I was there and Jordan Peterson walked through, and I was like, "You can't be here. That's too on the nose." (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
He's here all the time.
- JJJordan Jensen
That's crazy.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, it is weird. Yeah.
- JJJordan Jensen
That's crazy. With his daughter?
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah. He came with his daughter. Yeah. He's been there a few times. Yeah. He even did Kill Tony.
- JJJordan Jensen
Oh, he was on it?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. He was on Kill Tony. Yeah.
- JJJordan Jensen
That's crazy. Oh, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
So was Post Malone. Th- one, Post Malone had no idea, and I brought him on stage. He had no idea what the show was, no idea what anything was, and I just brought him up there.
- JJJordan Jensen
Really?
- JRJoe Rogan
I did that twice. Once with Post Malone, and once with Tucker Carlson. I was having dinner with Tucker Carlson, and I'm like, "You wanna go by and go see Kill Tony?" And they were there, and I t- told Tony, and he's like, "Bring him on stage." I go, "I'm not even gonna tell him what it is." So, I go, "Dude, we're gonna go on stage." And he's like, "What?" (laughs) And he just-
- JJJordan Jensen
Oh, my god.
- JRJoe Rogan
But he was great.
- JJJordan Jensen
Was he good?
- JRJoe Rogan
He did- yes. He was funny. He was, like, laughing. He was cracking jokes with the comedians back and forth.
- JJJordan Jensen
Wow.
- JRJoe Rogan
It was really ... Oh. It was surprisingly great.
- JJJordan Jensen
Wait, you're not Republican. You used to be Bernie bro.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. Well-
- JJJordan Jensen
Are you Bernie bro?
- JRJoe Rogan
I am ... Look, I think the idea of socialism is wonderful if everybody had their shit together and everybody was disciplined.
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
But it's not the case. And I think that human nature, unfortunately, you're gonna need some socialism though. Right? You're gonna need the fire department. Like, this is one of the things that I point to all the time. People say, "Oh, socialism doesn't work." The fire department is an entirely socialist idea. Like, we all pay into it and they take care of everybody's fire.
- JJJordan Jensen
Yeah.
Episode duration: 2:57:42
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