Joe Rogan Experience #2380 - Jordan Jensen

Jordan Jensen is a comedian, actress, and podcaster. She is the co-host of the podcast "Bein' Ian with Jordan" with comedian Ian Fidance, and host of her own podcast, "RIP Jordan Jensen." Her new comedy special, "Jordan Jensen: Take Me With You," is streaming exclusively on Netflix. Look for her in Bradley Cooper's film, "Is This Thing On?," in theaters December 19, 2025. https://www.netflix.com/title/81978275 https://www.youtube.com/@jordanjensenlolstop https://www.jordanjensencomedy.com Don’t miss out on all the action - Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up at https://dkng.co/rogan or with my promo code ROGAN. GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit https://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit https://ccpg.org (CT), or visit https://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). 1 per new DraftKings customer. $5+ first-time bet req. Get 1 promo code to redeem discounted NFL Sunday Ticket subscription and max. $200 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: https://sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos. NFL Sunday Ticket: YouTube TV base plan (not included in this offer) required to watch Sunday Ticket on YouTube TV. Subscription autorenews yearly at then-current price (currently $378 for YouTube TV subscribers, or $480 for YouTube subscribers); cancel anytime. Terms, restrictions, embargoes and eligibility requirements apply. No refunds. Commercial use excluded. Addt’l terms: https://tv.youtube.com/learn/nflsundayticket/draftkings/. Offer ends 9/29/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK.

Jordan JensenguestJoe Roganhost

Sep 17, 20252h 57mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

150 min read · 30,120 words

0:00 – 15:00
(drum beat) Joe Rogan podcast,…
1. NANarrator
  (drum beat) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
2. JJJordan Jensen
  The Joe Rogan Experience.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (instrumental music plays) Jordan.
4. JJJordan Jensen
  Hello.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  What up? What's up?
6. JJJordan Jensen
  Oh, good. I got my legal pad here.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, in case you need, uh, to write notes.
8. JJJordan Jensen
  I'm gonna take notes on what you're doing right and wrong.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  (splutters)
10. JJJordan Jensen
  And I'll give them to you at the end.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  I... Uh, tell me.
12. JJJordan Jensen
  Okay, I will.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  So I can figure out what the wrong stuff is.
14. JJJordan Jensen
  I will.
15. JRJoe Rogan
  And stop doing it.
16. JJJordan Jensen
  I wanna fuck with all this stuff, yeah.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  I know, there's so much shit.
18. JJJordan Jensen
  It's crazy.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  And people keep giving me new shit.
20. JJJordan Jensen
  I know. I brought a little, tiny figurine of a little thing on stage one time, and every single meet and greet, people give me these little, tiny animals.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
22. JJJordan Jensen
  So now I have this giant collection of them. And I'm like, "I don't like these that much."
23. JRJoe Rogan
  That's the problem is, like, everybody knows that I keep a bunch of shit on this desk, so people give me shit to put on this desk. And now it's getting kind of crazy.
24. JJJordan Jensen
  Yeah.
25. JRJoe Rogan
  Like, where I'm gonna have to have a shelf.
26. JJJordan Jensen
  I had to get a shelf. I got one of those old typewriter keyboard things.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  Look, I have, like, mammoth teeth. This is, uh, a piece of art that was cut-
28. JJJordan Jensen
  Oh, somebody gave me one of these.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  ... cut out of a wooly mammoth tooth. Oh, that's a... Don't blow it.
30. JJJordan Jensen
  I won't.
15:00 – 30:00
Oh my God. …
1. JJJordan Jensen
  and this guy who was also a fainter having sex.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh my God.
3. JJJordan Jensen
  And...
4. JRJoe Rogan
  You both fainted?
5. JJJordan Jensen
  A lot.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  Nice.
7. JJJordan Jensen
  Yeah.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  It's hot. (laughs)
9. JJJordan Jensen
  Yeah, it was rough. It was rough.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
11. JJJordan Jensen
  'Cause when you faint, it comes with sweating and seeing white.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Right.
13. JJJordan Jensen
  Like, it's brutal.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  And you probably hope the man doesn't faint, like, he can keep it together.
15. JJJordan Jensen
  Yeah.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  That would be, like, a nice thing.
17. JJJordan Jensen
  Yeah, totally.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  Right? Like a nice trait.
19. JJJordan Jensen
  No, he fainted. He could faint on command. He could think of something and faint.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, that's hilarious.
21. JJJordan Jensen
  Yeah, yeah.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  That's hilarious. I wonder what would happen to a guy like that had, got drafted in Vietnam.
23. JJJordan Jensen
  Done. Faint, yeah, would've gotten-
24. JRJoe Rogan
  Faint, shot.
25. JJJordan Jensen
  ... taken out. Yeah.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  Bapack. That's it?
27. JJJordan Jensen
  Yeah. My dad had a heart attack once and fainted.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
29. JJJordan Jensen
  (laughs)
30. JRJoe Rogan
  Call 911, oops.
30:00 – 45:00
I always, I'm like,…
1. JRJoe Rogan
  It has to be real.
2. JJJordan Jensen
  I always, I'm like, I'm just past the age bracket where I can't detect it.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
4. JJJordan Jensen
  It's crazy.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, no one can detect it anymore because especially l- what looks like cell phone footage, 'cause cell phone footage is kind of shitty already, so they just make it kind of shitty, and you don't know.
6. JJJordan Jensen
  Yeah.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  You don't know what the fuck you're looking at.
8. JJJordan Jensen
  My mom liked a photo on Facebook that of, a fake AI photo of me on the beach, different tattoos-
9. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
10. JJJordan Jensen
  ... with, with a man, and she liked it. I'm like, "Mom, what are you doing?"
11. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
12. JJJordan Jensen
  "Who do you think that guy is? You know that I'm single." She's like, "You look beautiful in it."
13. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
14. JJJordan Jensen
  I'm like, "It's not real. That's not my body. That's not the body you gave birth to."
15. JRJoe Rogan
  (clears throat) Boomers can't handle it.
16. JJJordan Jensen
  No.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  They're, they're so removed from this technology that they're living in an alternative dimension.
18. JJJordan Jensen
  Yeah.Totally. I don't know what she does all day.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  They get their news on TV, and that's a wrap.
20. JJJordan Jensen
  Yeah.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  Whatever the guy says in front of the camera.
22. JJJordan Jensen
  Yeah.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  That's the truth.
24. JJJordan Jensen
  My mom is my news source, which is nice. I didn't know the Epstein drawing had come out.
25. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, yeah. What did... So the drawing is a draw... Was that the same as the one that had been leaked before, or is it different?
26. NANarrator
  I'm pretty sure that leaked one was someone took the description, put it in AI, and that's what we got.
27. JJJordan Jensen
  Oh.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  So this is the actual drawing?
29. NANarrator
  Yeah, and this one, they actually got the book, and someone, like, leaked it. I wanna grab a look.
30. JJJordan Jensen
  The drawing, I did think when I imagined it, that it was gonna be like a well... (laughs) Like, I was imagining, like-
45:00 – 1:00:00
And what was it?…
1. JJJordan Jensen
2. JRJoe Rogan
  And what was it?
3. JJJordan Jensen
  It was that I fundamentally don't trust myself to make the right decision, and I realized that none of my decisions were up to me. It was all just an amalgamation of experiences. 'Cause I was like-
4. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh.
5. JJJordan Jensen
  ..." Who's gonna stop me from biting or hurting or doing anything?" So I was like, "If I tap this, that'll stop me."
6. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh.
7. JJJordan Jensen
  And when I faced it in acid, it was like, "You think you're gonna do bad things, but you're not because you have d- you have chosen the right path this whole way, so you can trust yourself."
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Mm.
9. JJJordan Jensen
  You know what I mean? Like-
10. JRJoe Rogan
  Right.
11. JJJordan Jensen
  Three-year-old Jordan was not outside killing a cat. You know what I mean?
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Right.
13. JJJordan Jensen
  She was fucking playing. Right? Like, so every step of the way, you're building this personality that you can trust.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  Mm.
15. JJJordan Jensen
  You know what I mean?
16. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
17. JJJordan Jensen
  Because my whole thing was like, "Who... How am I to know that I'm not a horrible... That I'm not gonna do something horrible?" Which is a big OCD thing for people.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  W- wondering whether you're gonna do something horrible?
19. JJJordan Jensen
  L- yeah, like a lot of OCD... Like, I know a girl who she couldn't babysit 'cause she was like, "What if I am a pedophile?"
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, my God.
21. JJJordan Jensen
  'Cause her OCD was so bad.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, my God.
23. JJJordan Jensen
  And then she was like, "Oh, this is OCD," and she was treated, and she was like, "It's fine." But, like, a lot of people-
24. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh.
25. JJJordan Jensen
  People who have babies, and they'll be like, "What if I freaking s-"
26. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, God.
27. JJJordan Jensen
  "... spin this baby's head off?" (laughs)
28. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, Jesus Christ.
29. JJJordan Jensen
  I have that all the time-
30. JRJoe Rogan
  That's so crazy.
1:00:00 – 1:04:54
Right. …
1. JJJordan Jensen
  something would hap- Like, the, it's almost like one of those swords that you have to have in balance is also humility. Like, you also have to be like, "And I'm a person who still has a butthole." You know?
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Right.
3. JJJordan Jensen
  And that I've had to learn.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  And things can go sideways, always.
5. JJJordan Jensen
  Yeah, because I would be like, "I'm gonna get in this flow state." (vocalizes) And then s- I'd mess up a word on stage, and I'd be like, "No, I'm re-, I'm an idiot." You know?
6. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
7. JJJordan Jensen
  So I have to keep that also, be like, "You also are fallible."
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, that's what's a good thing about standup. It's like, it, it smacks you every time you do it wrong.
9. JJJordan Jensen
  Yeah.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  Like, you gotta do it right.
11. JJJordan Jensen
  It's ... You ... It's crazy how true it is that you're only good, as good as your last set.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  You are.
13. JJJordan Jensen
  It's crazy.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, that's why, like, if you have a bad set, you can't wait to get on stage again. Like, "Get me up there. I gotta get this off my back."
15. JJJordan Jensen
  Dude, I was like, I'm doing no-sets in Austin. Bob last night hitting Rebecca up. I'm like, "What do you got?" (laughs)
16. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs) Give me ...
17. JJJordan Jensen
  It's crazy.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  Let me bust out some old jokes. Fuck it.
19. JJJordan Jensen
  I should hit up the Mothership.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, come tonight.
21. JJJordan Jensen
  What's tonight?
22. JRJoe Rogan
  What are you doing tonight? My show.
23. JJJordan Jensen
  Oh, okay.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  Wanna do it?
25. JJJordan Jensen
  What time's it at?
26. JRJoe Rogan
  Seven.
27. JJJordan Jensen
  Yeah, that would actually be good.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  Let's fucking go.
29. JJJordan Jensen
  Let's do it.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  Let's fucking go.

Episode duration: 2:57:42

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(drum beat) Joe Rogan podcast,…

Oh my God. …

I always, I'm like,…

And what was it?…

Right. …

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