Joe Rogan Experience #2402 - Miranda Lambert

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (drumming) Joe Rogan podcast,…

   1. NANarrator0:00

      (drumming) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience.

   2. JRJoe Rogan0:06

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (rock music) That's what I hate about the desk. The desk is a mess because my mind is a mess, and I wish my mind wasn't a mess.

   3. MLMiranda Lambert0:17

      You're creative, that's how it works.

   4. JRJoe Rogan0:19

      Is that how it works? (laughs)

   5. MLMiranda Lambert0:20

      Yeah, I think so. (laughs)

   6. JRJoe Rogan0:21

      Is that the excuse we use?

   7. MLMiranda Lambert0:22

      I don't know, I'm trying to make myself feel better. (laughs)

   8. JRJoe Rogan0:24

      (laughs) I think that's the excuse we use for each other.

   9. MLMiranda Lambert0:27

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan0:28

       You know?

   11. MLMiranda Lambert0:28

       I'm like, "I'm a creative."

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:29

       Yeah.

   13. MLMiranda Lambert0:29

       It's- it's my go-to default, uh...

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:31

       Is the compression on? Something sounds weird.

   15. NANarrator0:33

       Yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:34

       Oh, it's just really loud. Something happen? Maybe my ears got better? What happened? (laughs)

   17. MLMiranda Lambert0:38

       You can hear now?

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:39

       (laughs)

   19. MLMiranda Lambert0:39

       My ears aren't very good.

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:41

       Sometimes I... You know, when I'm under water for too long or I swim or something like that, and then I forget that my ears have water in them, and then they come out and like, "Oh." There's that moment where like, "Oh, this is how I hear. Oh."

   21. MLMiranda Lambert0:54

       I feel like... I have the in-ear monitors for my job and-

   22. JRJoe Rogan0:57

       Oh, right.

   23. MLMiranda Lambert0:58

       I still... Like, I've been using them for, I don't know, 20 years? And I'm still not used to them. Like, I come from, like, honky-tonk world where you can hear everything.

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:06

       Yeah.

   25. MLMiranda Lambert1:07

       Hear the room.

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:08

       Well, it's so good that people have them now, because boy, so many people I know from back in the day are almost deaf.

   27. MLMiranda Lambert1:16

       Oh, yeah. We... I'm so glad we have them. It's not the same. I mean, it... You don't feel-

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:20

       Right.

   29. MLMiranda Lambert1:20

       ... the energy of the room, but it saved your hearing. (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:22

       (laughs)
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   I c- I can't…

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      I c- I can't do it.

   2. MLMiranda Lambert15:00

      But, uh, yours are n- non-shedders.

   3. JRJoe Rogan15:02

      What's that?

   4. MLMiranda Lambert15:02

      Yours are shedders though, right?

   5. JRJoe Rogan15:04

      Yeah, they shed.

   6. MLMiranda Lambert15:04

      They do.

   7. JRJoe Rogan15:05

      Yeah. That, you know, you just keep 'em clean. She's not as, not nearly as bad as when I first met her. When I first met her, she really would get like, hives if she-

   8. MLMiranda Lambert15:13

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan15:14

      ... pet the dogs. But also, I was not that good at washing my dogs, and they were always in the yard playing around.

   10. MLMiranda Lambert15:19

       Yeah.

   11. JRJoe Rogan15:19

       And they were always dirty.

   12. MLMiranda Lambert15:21

       Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan15:21

       But if you don't have dogs, d- dogs are like extra love. You have ... Your love in your life will be whatever the level's at now, it'll be like 35% higher.

   14. MLMiranda Lambert15:30

       I 100% agree.

   15. JRJoe Rogan15:31

       For sure.

   16. MLMiranda Lambert15:32

       I'm allergic to everything I love, horses, cats, dogs, petting.

   17. JRJoe Rogan15:34

       You're allergic to horses?

   18. MLMiranda Lambert15:35

       All of it.

   19. JRJoe Rogan15:36

       That's crazy.

   20. MLMiranda Lambert15:36

       I just live, I live like, I live on Allegra. (laughs) I'm just like-

   21. JRJoe Rogan15:40

       Wow, that's crazy.

   22. MLMiranda Lambert15:40

       I'm just like popping Allegra to enjoy my life, but I don't care. It's worth it. (laughs)

   23. JRJoe Rogan15:43

       One of my daughters is so allergic that we went to Rome once, and, um, we were on this horse-driven ... They, they have like, these tourist things you do. You sit in the back of a-

   24. MLMiranda Lambert15:53

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan15:53

       ... wagon the horse drags around the city. And just being downwind of the horse, her eyes were swelling up. We had to get out, off the horse and walk the rest of the way, and we had to find a pharmacy and-

   26. MLMiranda Lambert16:04

       That's terrible.

   27. JRJoe Rogan16:04

       Oh, it was bad. She's, she's got it bad. Yeah.

   28. MLMiranda Lambert16:07

       Did she do shots or anything?

   29. JRJoe Rogan16:08

       She did that. She did the whole thing, but they hated it, you know? And when my wife stopped doing shots, then all of her allergies got way better. And she was doing shots because Texas has a lot of allergens, you know?

   30. MLMiranda Lambert16:20

       Mm-hmm.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Right. …

   1. MLMiranda Lambert30:00

      like, up to my horse, not, it's not up to me, you know?

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:02

      Right.

   3. MLMiranda Lambert30:02

      I can aim and I can have the skill and be learning how to ride, but it's about him, you know?

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:07

      Yeah, for sure.

   5. MLMiranda Lambert30:08

      His name is Kool, my shooting horse.

   6. JRJoe Rogan30:10

      That's his name?

   7. MLMiranda Lambert30:10

      Yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan30:11

      D- With a K or a C?

   9. MLMiranda Lambert30:12

      It's a C. He's Kool.

   10. JRJoe Rogan30:13

       (laughs) That's a great Morris Day and the Time song.

   11. MLMiranda Lambert30:17

       Yeah.

   12. JRJoe Rogan30:17

       You never heard that song, Kool?

   13. MLMiranda Lambert30:18

       No.

   14. JRJoe Rogan30:18

       Oh, it's a great song.

   15. MLMiranda Lambert30:19

       I need to hear it. We h- we have a theme song and I didn't know it.

   16. JRJoe Rogan30:22

       Yeah, e- e-... We'll give her some of that. We'll have to cut this out otherwise we'll get removed from YouTube, but play Morris Day and the Time, Kool.This is, like, during the Prince days. Morris Day and The Time, I think is, like, one of the most underappreciated bands from that era, from, like, the early '90s, because they got kind of eclipsed by Prince.

   17. MLMiranda Lambert30:41

       Yeah.

   18. JRJoe Rogan30:42

       You know, because they were hanging around with Prince, and they were part of, like, the whole Prince...

   19. MLMiranda Lambert30:46

       I don't know anything, anything about 'em.

   20. JRJoe Rogan30:47

       You don't know about Morris Day and The Time?

   21. MLMiranda Lambert30:49

       No, I don't.

   22. JRJoe Rogan30:49

       Oh, my God. Play Cool by Morris Day and The Times.

   23. NANarrator30:53

       I'm making sure it's the right one. I got a version that says it's just Morris Day, and then another version popped up that said it was just The Time, so maybe you need to go to-

   24. JRJoe Rogan31:01

       Either way, it's always gonna be Morris Day singing. I don't think The Time ever played without Morris.

   25. NANarrator31:06

       All right, 5 seconds.

   26. JRJoe Rogan31:07

       Morris is cool as fuck, though. Here it is. All right, we'll edit this out for people at home, sorry. Go find this. ... bad like me.

   27. MLMiranda Lambert31:16

       That's (laughs) awesome. Look at that.

   28. JRJoe Rogan31:17

       Is it great?

   29. MLMiranda Lambert31:17

       Look at the clothes.

   30. JRJoe Rogan31:18

       Oh, it, it's so corny. It's so great.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Well, I never knew…

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      It is a crazy game. It's a crazy game. Yeah.

   2. MLMiranda Lambert45:03

      Well, I never knew that, but I learned a lot about that today.

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:06

      I know a dude who's one of the best in the world and he can't travel because he needs pills. 'Cause he ... So he can't go, like, overseas. He can't go anywhere. He can't travel without his pills. If he does, he won't play well.

   4. MLMiranda Lambert45:17

      Really?

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:18

      Oh, it's nuts. Yeah.

   6. MLMiranda Lambert45:19

      It's a head game.

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:21

      Oh, it's the head-

   8. MLMiranda Lambert45:21

      That's it.

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:22

      It's ... There's ... My friend Jeremy Jones, he won the US Open, one of the greatest players of all time. He's like, "It is the mo-" And he plays everything. He played baseball, like, at a high level. He plays golf. He plays ... He's like, "It is the most mental game."

   10. MLMiranda Lambert45:34

       Really?

   11. JRJoe Rogan45:35

       And that's why nobody's good at it. That's why it never gets to a p- it never got to a place where it was, like, really appreciated professionally.

   12. MLMiranda Lambert45:41

       Right.

   13. JRJoe Rogan45:42

       'Cause you have to know how to play it to be- to understand what you're seeing.

   14. MLMiranda Lambert45:46

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan45:47

       To really see people play well, you have to know what the- what's happening.

   16. MLMiranda Lambert45:51

       I don't ... I'd never ... I'm not, like, good at any ... I've not played sports, so I'm not good at them. (laughs)

   17. JRJoe Rogan45:56

       No sports at all?

   18. MLMiranda Lambert45:56

       I didn't really ... I mean, I grew up kind of playing softball here and there or golf.

   19. JRJoe Rogan45:59

       So is golf, like, the first thing you really-

   20. MLMiranda Lambert46:00

       Golf is my first.

   21. JRJoe Rogan46:02

       Oh.

   22. MLMiranda Lambert46:02

       And my amount of shooting, which is technically labeled a sport.

   23. JRJoe Rogan46:05

       That's a sport, for sure.

   24. MLMiranda Lambert46:06

       Um, so that's ... Like, it's new to me. (laughs)

   25. JRJoe Rogan46:10

       Mm-hmm.

   26. MLMiranda Lambert46:10

       I think sports are new because I just ... I don't know, I started this at 17 and didn't ... And just was laser-focused, like horse with blinders, doing country music and then ...

   27. JRJoe Rogan46:20

       What is it like going from just being a regular high school kid and all of a sudden, 17, just being thrust into a spotlight?

   28. MLMiranda Lambert46:30

       Well, I wasn't in the spotlight at first. I was playing shitholes with no lights. (laughs)

   29. JRJoe Rogan46:33

       But even shitholes, there's some kind of light.

   30. MLMiranda Lambert46:37

       (laughs) Um-
5. 1:00:00 – 1:07:23

   Right. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      How do you be a professional fighter? Like, "Oh, I... I'll go that pathway." Like, no one's doing that.

   2. MLMiranda Lambert1:00:05

      Right.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:05

      Like, the, the people that are doing that are all crazy. Like, those are my kind of people. Or if you... The pathway is how to be a comedian, like, "Oh, yeah, all these people are all misfits. This is perfect. These are my people." Like, "This is perfect. I'll, I'll go do that."

   4. MLMiranda Lambert1:00:17

      Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:17

      "Like, this is... Like, I'm ensured of being around like-minded, interesting people."

   6. MLMiranda Lambert1:00:22

      Yeah. That's a great way to look at it.

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:24

      Well, it's just-

   8. MLMiranda Lambert1:00:24

      But I just think... I always think about how... Like the first time you step on the stage and you're... You know, you're showing all your cards, like, that-

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:33

      Do you remember your first time?

   10. MLMiranda Lambert1:00:34

       Well, but for a comedian, to me, it's like-

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:00:36

       Oh.

   12. MLMiranda Lambert1:00:36

       ... songs, songs are different. Like-

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:00:38

       Yeah.

   14. MLMiranda Lambert1:00:39

       You know, every... The first game you play, the fir- Whatever. Everybody has their first time that they're, like, com- learning their, their ropes and how to get their feet under them. But, but that's just so raw. Like, "Here's my jokes. Here's my whole heart."

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:00:52

       Yeah.

   16. MLMiranda Lambert1:00:53

       "Here's, here's... I hope that you think this is funny." Like, (laughs) I just... Every time I see it, I'm like, "That is the hardest thing in show business, period."

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:01:00

       The first time I ever did it, I was still fighting, and I'd, I'd been... Done nothing but martial arts competition, like, literally eight hours a day for my whole life for six years.

   18. MLMiranda Lambert1:01:09

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:01:09

       And then, uh, I was more scared going on stage at an open mic night than I had ever been fighting, ever.

   20. MLMiranda Lambert1:01:15

       That makes sense to me.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:01:16

       But I was confused. I was like, "Why am I scared? Like, this doesn't make sense." It was so baffling to me. I was like, "Why am I so nervous?" This is-

   22. MLMiranda Lambert1:01:23

       That makes sense to me. It's just... It's something you...Well, you, you were good at it, but you had to do it in front of people. Like-

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:01:29

       I didn't even think I was good at it. My friends told me I was good at it. And they only told me I was good at it ... It was like, we would go to tournaments and everybody would be terrified. We'd all be like, like, really nervous. And I would be the, the humor. I would... It was gallows humor. So, I would be the guy cracking jokes. I would be the guy doing impressions of each other, like of different, different friends, like what they'd be like having sex or whatever it was-

   24. MLMiranda Lambert1:01:51

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:01:51

       ... and making everybody laugh, saying totally inappropriate stuff.

   26. MLMiranda Lambert1:01:54

       Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:01:54

       And, um, my friend, Steve, who I'm still friends with to this day, he was a grown man and I was like 15 at the time. And, uh, he, uh ... To this day, he's still one of my best friends. But he told me, he's like, "You should be a comedian." Like, "You're funny." It's like ... And I was like, "You're f- ... You think I'm funny because you like me." I go, "But other people are gonna think I'm an asshole. Like, my sense of humor is fucked up." And he's like, "You should just go to open mic night." And I did. And I went to open mic night and I was like, "Oh, everybody sucks. Oh, this is fine."

   28. MLMiranda Lambert1:02:23

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:02:23

       I was like, "You go to see a few professionals and a few people that are just struggling." I thought everybody would be like Jerry Seinfeld or Richard Pryor.

   30. MLMiranda Lambert1:02:29

       (laughs)

Episode duration: 2:29:47