Joe Rogan Experience #2413 - Theo Von

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (drumming music) Joe Rogan podcast,…

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      (drumming music) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

   2. TVTheo Von0:04

      The Joe Rogan Experience.

   3. NANarrator0:06

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music) Who, me?

   4. JRJoe Rogan0:15

      (laughs)

   5. TVTheo Von0:15

      Yeah, you. Sorry, I didn't know you were talking-

   6. JRJoe Rogan0:18

      (laughs)

   7. TVTheo Von0:18

      ... talking to one of them-

   8. JRJoe Rogan0:19

      There's only three of us in here.

   9. TVTheo Von0:20

      (laughs) Yeah. Are there?

   10. JRJoe Rogan0:21

       (laughs)

   11. TVTheo Von0:22

       I don't know, dude.

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:23

       With the glasses, man. What's the s- new sophisticated look?

   13. TVTheo Von0:25

       Yeah, I got them.

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:26

       What's going on? I- I- I see. I see, you got them.

   15. TVTheo Von0:28

       Yeah, they're great, man. My buddy, Joseph, gave it to- gave them to me. I got them from him.

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:32

       Yeah.

   17. TVTheo Von0:33

       Yeah, and they're popping. And they help, too.

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:35

       Yeah?

   19. TVTheo Von0:36

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:36

       You losing your vision?

   21. TVTheo Von0:37

       (smacks lips) Mm.

   22. JRJoe Rogan0:39

       Mm.

   23. TVTheo Von0:39

       I don't think so, but I think these just make it even better.

   24. JRJoe Rogan0:42

       Okay. Let me see. Let me try them-

   25. TVTheo Von0:43

       Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan0:43

       ... and see how bad your eyes are.

   27. TVTheo Von0:45

       Try them on, big dog.

   28. JRJoe Rogan0:47

       Oh, barely.

   29. TVTheo Von0:49

       I could get them weighted too, so you could do a neck workout while you have them on.

   30. JRJoe Rogan0:52

       Why would you do that? This is, uh ... my God, I can't, I can't tell the difference. Are you sure these are real?
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   (laughs) …

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:00

   2. TVTheo Von15:01

      (laughs)

   3. JRJoe Rogan15:01

      Not a chance they're shutting down NASA 'cause they're worried about you getting the flu. That shit is not happening. That's not what's going on.

   4. TVTheo Von15:08

      But I think everybody's starting to realize that. Dude, I went to the post office. Have you been to the post office recently?

   5. JRJoe Rogan15:13

      I have not.

   6. TVTheo Von15:14

      Okay.

   7. JRJoe Rogan15:14

      Not since I voted. That was the last time I was at the post office.

   8. TVTheo Von15:16

      Okay. Well, it's over.

   9. JRJoe Rogan15:19

      (laughs)

   10. TVTheo Von15:19

       So, if you wanna know what the post office is like, dude, g-... I went... I'm not even joking. I went into the closest branch near me in Nashville. There was two birds. There was two crows in there, two. One of 'em was a crow definitely. One of 'em was a pretty big bird, and I thought it was a crow, but he had some discoloration or whatever, so maybe like a mulatto crow or a mixed crow or something. I don't know.

   11. JRJoe Rogan15:40

       (laughs) Okay.

   12. TVTheo Von15:40

       Fu-... Pulling a fucking bo-... Like, fighting over a fucking box in there. And there's a lady, a, um, kind of like a darker woman in there, and she's spraying fucking Lysol trying to get them out of the fucking post office. I was like, "What?"

   13. JRJoe Rogan15:54

       Lysol?

   14. TVTheo Von15:54

       Yeah, or like a Fabuloso, like a-

   15. JRJoe Rogan15:56

       (laughs)

   16. TVTheo Von15:56

       ... cleaning spray.

   17. JRJoe Rogan15:57

       Like this stuff-

   18. TVTheo Von15:58

       Like a disinfectant.

   19. JRJoe Rogan15:59

       Oh, okay.

   20. TVTheo Von15:59

       Yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan16:00

       Got it.

   22. TVTheo Von16:00

       Like, she's standing on a little step ladder trying to fucking-

   23. JRJoe Rogan16:03

       Right, right, right, right.

   24. TVTheo Von16:03

       ... get these two birds who were fighting over a fucking package. I was like-

   25. JRJoe Rogan16:06

       Whoa.

   26. TVTheo Von16:06

       ... "We're fucked. We're fucked, man." That's... And that's, that's the government.

   27. JRJoe Rogan16:11

       That's biblical, right? That's biblical.

   28. TVTheo Von16:12

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan16:12

       Crows.

   30. TVTheo Von16:12

       I mean, I'm sure-
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Which one are you…

   1. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      right there. Click on that.

   2. TVTheo Von30:02

      Which one are you looking at? The left one?

   3. JRJoe Rogan30:03

      The one that your cursor's over, dog.

   4. TVTheo Von30:05

      I don't see anything.

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:05

      Clay Barber, right there. Yeah. So, he was really good in like, uh, I guess it was probably like '86.... or, yeah, somewhere around... I was 18, so it had to be '85 or '86.

   6. TVTheo Von30:20

      Ooh, baby girl.

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:21

      But that d- that's the dude right there. He was a, a, an elite, um, national competitor in my weight class.

   8. TVTheo Von30:27

      He'll kick a fucking whisper out of your mouth. That dude's a gangster, huh?

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:30

      Yeah, he was really good. Um, but he was competing for the army team, and so I was like, "Maybe I should join the army." And then I thought about it, I was like, "I don't wanna get shot." Like, "What am I doing?" Like, I, I don't trust anybody. You're gonna send me to some bullshit.

   10. TVTheo Von30:40

       Did you even try on the clothes at home or anything? Did you do anything?

   11. JRJoe Rogan30:43

       No, I didn't try on the clothes.

   12. TVTheo Von30:44

       Oh, you don't say?

   13. JRJoe Rogan30:44

       I saluted the mirror- in the mirror a couple times.

   14. TVTheo Von30:46

       (laughs)

   15. JRJoe Rogan30:46

       I'm like, "No, we're good."

   16. TVTheo Von30:48

       Yeah, dude.

   17. JRJoe Rogan30:49

       (clears throat)

   18. TVTheo Von30:49

       Yeah. I got- I guess- I don't know if I could see you being in the, in the army. But yeah, it was just a dream. It was just a... I think it was, like, you... Ho- honestly, I think it was, like, you and Goggins, I think, were maybe, like, EMTs or whatever.

   19. JRJoe Rogan30:57

       That sounds like something Goggins would do.

   20. TVTheo Von31:00

       But y'all did not fucking p- you guys did not deal with anybody's bullshit. Like, you guys showed up and you were like, "Get the fuck up." (laughs)

   21. JRJoe Rogan31:06

       (laughs)

   22. TVTheo Von31:07

       You're like, "What the f- (laughs) you fucking pussy."

   23. JRJoe Rogan31:10

       (laughs)

   24. TVTheo Von31:10

       I think you- (laughs) I don't even think you had any, like-

   25. JRJoe Rogan31:12

       Um...

   26. TVTheo Von31:12

       (laughs) I don't think you had e- even a s- you had, like, a whistle. You're like...

   27. JRJoe Rogan31:15

       (laughs)

   28. TVTheo Von31:16

       "Bullshit."

   29. JRJoe Rogan31:17

       (laughs)

   30. TVTheo Von31:18

       (laughs)
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   They just ... (laughs)…

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      They just ... (laughs) Yeah.

   2. TVTheo Von45:00

      (laughs) It really is.

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:04

      They give themselves awards for being the most awesome people.

   4. TVTheo Von45:07

      How cra- ... I mean, that whole ... It's all fucking ridiculous.

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:09

      Weird.

   6. TVTheo Von45:10

      But that's what I feel. I feel like all of these u- balls of yarn that used to feel like they made so much sense-

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:16

      Uh-huh.

   8. TVTheo Von45:16

      ... and they kept us warm and they gave us senses of purpose, I feel like all of them are becoming unraveled. But it makes me wonder what's gonna happen now? Are we ... Because these are a lot of the things that have felt like some of the blueprints of our existence, you know?

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:28

      Well, you know what makes me nervous? P-

   10. TVTheo Von45:29

       Does it make any sense to you, when I say that?

   11. JRJoe Rogan45:31

       Yes.

   12. TVTheo Von45:31

       Okay.

   13. JRJoe Rogan45:31

       100%. But-

   14. TVTheo Von45:32

       'Cause that's kind of what I'm, guess I'm most scared about. I think, like, even this year, it's, like, some of my sense of, like, purpose or, like ... I just worry that other people don't have a sense of purpose or what's going on, and it makes me kinda scared sometimes.

   15. JRJoe Rogan45:42

       Well, that's a, a good perspective, and I think it's accurate. Um, what makes me nervous is the people that are not aware that all of our assumptions of how the government works were all based on bullshit. The people that still believe, that are, like, c- true believers of one side or the other, true faith in government and experts, those people make me more nervous, 'cause some of 'em are smart. That's what's crazy. When smart people are completely unwilling to recognize that conspiracies are not just real, but they're also not rare. They're v- they're very common. They're common, and people get away with them.

   16. TVTheo Von46:23

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan46:23

       Especially when they're in positions of extreme power, like running intelligence agencies. Like, they ... And there's a lot of things that they do that are morally reprehensible but totally legal. (laughs) Like, they can do it, because they're allowed to, because they are a three-letter organization and they have ultimate power to do a lot of, like, really gross things that are in the nature o- or in the, uh, the interest of national security. So, like, this is the whole idea behind it. They say, like, "This is our, our decision. This is the best move for national security."

   18. TVTheo Von46:56

       Well-

   19. JRJoe Rogan46:56

       "This is how we compromise assets, this is how we gather information, this is how we keep America safe."

   20. TVTheo Von47:01

       But, are ... They're not ... Uh, are F- ... Why is it, are FBI and CIA are working against us? That's what it feels like. They're just tricking us about every- ... It feels like-

   21. JRJoe Rogan47:09

       They're tricking some people, um, on purpose-

   22. TVTheo Von47:11

       But, but why-

   23. JRJoe Rogan47:12

       Right?

   24. TVTheo Von47:12

       ... is, why is that even their goal? Like, I thought that they-

   25. JRJoe Rogan47:15

       Because they're-

   26. TVTheo Von47:15

       ... could think-

   27. JRJoe Rogan47:15

       ... trying to arrest people. So, this is the problem with your career. Like, uh, and this has been explained to me by a lot of people that are experts and people that know. John Kiriakou explained it this way. Your, your reputation is based on how successful you have been arresting people, cracking cases.

   28. TVTheo Von47:32

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan47:32

       And so people set up cases so they can break 'em.

   30. TVTheo Von47:35

       Yeah.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:06:19

   Mm-hmm. …

   1. TVTheo Von1:00:00

      agrees with it. There's all these people that say they agree with it, and everybody says ... But it never really gets to where it needs to be, right? So y- you can go to a place and a hospital can charge you anything for an MRI, right?

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:00:11

      Mm-hmm.

   3. TVTheo Von1:00:11

      They're supposed to show their prices like a menu. And if they do that, then they have to compete. You could call two places. This person's like, "Well, it's 30,000 bucks," and this person's like, "No, it's 700 bucks." So you're gonna go there.

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:00:22

      Right.

   5. TVTheo Von1:00:23

      But they l- they keep it vague so they can like, keep the prices really high-

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:00:27

      Mm-hmm.

   7. TVTheo Von1:00:27

      ... and then they can keep this whole insurance rigamarole going on. And-

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:00:30

      Well, they're private corporations. That's what's nuts. And the private companies own hospitals. They're private.... you know? And you-

   9. TVTheo Von1:00:38

      So, that, that's probably why they can do it too.

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:00:39

       ... you go there hoping-

   11. TVTheo Von1:00:40

       Yeah, hoping that they're gonna be-

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:00:41

       ... that they're there for your best interest.

   13. TVTheo Von1:00:42

       Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:00:42

       What, they're there is to m- make the most money possible and to... And one of the ways they do that is they're incentivized to give you certain medications, financially. Financially incentivized to give you certain pharmaceutical products, and they make more money if they do that. I had Mary Talley Boden on the podcast, she's a respiratory, um, physician. And she, uh, doctor, whatever it is, um, she was saying that if she vaccinated all of her patients, she has a very small practice, if she vaccinated all of her patients for COVID, she would have made $1.5 million.

   15. TVTheo Von1:01:14

       Wow.

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:01:15

       Like, that's, that's motivation. Like, that's not-

   17. TVTheo Von1:01:18

       For sure.

   18. JRJoe Rogan1:01:19

       ... someone's, someone's not gonna... They're not gonna give you objective advice. Unless they, they're a really good person like she is, they're not gonna give you objective advice. What they're gonna say is, "Hey, they say you should take it, I say you should take it too, because I wanna go to... I wanna go golfing."

   19. TVTheo Von1:01:33

       Yeah. (laughs)

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:01:34

       (laughs)

   21. TVTheo Von1:01:35

       Yeah, yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:01:35

       "I want a BMW and I wanna go golfing, so take it."

   23. TVTheo Von1:01:38

       Yeah. (laughs) "I don't care if you're in a fucking wheelchair in three weeks."

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:01:41

       Yeah. "Fuck you."

   25. TVTheo Von1:01:41

       "Had a mardo, myocarditis, fucking-"

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:01:43

       "I want a M5."

   27. TVTheo Von1:01:45

       Yeah, yeah. (laughs)

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:01:45

       "I've got it picked out already. I want the carbon interior." (laughs)

   29. TVTheo Von1:01:49

       (laughs) Yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:01:49

       "Carbon fiber accents."

Episode duration: 2:54:51