Joe Rogan Experience #2413 - Theo Von

Joe Rogan 0:00 (drumming music) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

Theo Von 0:04 The Joe Rogan Experience.

Narrator 0:06 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music) Who, me?

Joe Rogan 0:15 (laughs)

Theo Von 0:15 Yeah, you. Sorry, I didn't know you were talking-

Joe Rogan 0:18 (laughs)

Theo Von 0:18 ... talking to one of them-

Joe Rogan 0:19 There's only three of us in here.

Theo Von 0:20 (laughs) Yeah. Are there?

Joe Rogan 0:21 (laughs)

Theo Von 0:22 I don't know, dude.

Joe Rogan 0:23 With the glasses, man. What's the s- new sophisticated look?

Theo Von 0:25 Yeah, I got them.

Joe Rogan 0:26 What's going on? I- I- I see. I see, you got them.

Theo Von 0:28 Yeah, they're great, man. My buddy, Joseph, gave it to- gave them to me. I got them from him.

Joe Rogan 0:32 Yeah.

Theo Von 0:33 Yeah, and they're popping. And they help, too.

Joe Rogan 0:35 Yeah?

Theo Von 0:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:36 You losing your vision?

Theo Von 0:37 (smacks lips) Mm.

Joe Rogan 0:39 Mm.

Theo Von 0:39 I don't think so, but I think these just make it even better.

Joe Rogan 0:42 Okay. Let me see. Let me try them-

Theo Von 0:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:43 ... and see how bad your eyes are.

Theo Von 0:45 Try them on, big dog.

Joe Rogan 0:47 Oh, barely.

Theo Von 0:49 I could get them weighted too, so you could do a neck workout while you have them on.

Joe Rogan 0:52 Why would you do that? This is, uh ... my God, I can't, I can't tell the difference. Are you sure these are real?

Theo Von 0:59 (smacks lips) I think they are.

Joe Rogan 1:01 I don't think these are real glasses, dog.

Theo Von 1:04 Let me see. Try- Can you-

Joe Rogan 1:05 I don't think they ... Jamie, put these on. I don't- first of all, they're smeared as fuck.

Theo Von 1:09 Yeah, somehow they keep getting grease on them, dude. All I've done-

Joe Rogan 1:11 You got greasy fucking fingers-

Theo Von 1:13 What?

Joe Rogan 1:13 ... and you keep touching them. You're not supposed to- look at you, you're rubbing your hands. You're rubbing your greasy face.

Theo Von 1:17 I don't even go in the kitchen.

Joe Rogan 1:18 (laughs) You don't need grease. You don't need to go in the kitchen for grease. Barely tell the difference, right?

Narrator 1:23 It's doing something, but-

Joe Rogan 1:24 Barely. Barely. This is psychological.

Narrator 1:27 It's like it's, uh, if you're, it's ... If you're 20- if you're not 20/20, you're 20/25, or-

Joe Rogan 1:31 These are-

Narrator 1:32 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:32 These are psychological, dog.

Theo Von 1:33 You really- you don't think they're good?

Joe Rogan 1:34 They got you. No, no, it's not ... No, I'm saying, I mean, they're fine.

Theo Von 1:37 Ooh.

Joe Rogan 1:37 But they're psy-

Theo Von 1:38 Yes, sir.

Joe Rogan 1:38 I look-

Theo Von 1:39 Oh, you can see it.

Joe Rogan 1:39 I look smarter.

Theo Von 1:39 Oh, I'm watching it. Yeah, I see it. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:40 I look smarter, right? I've been reading too much.

Theo Von 1:42 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:42 Um, they're, uh ... I think it's a psychological thing.

Theo Von 1:46 Yeah, it could be. I gotta read-

Joe Rogan 1:47 I think you gotta believe that they make you see better. My vision's okay. It's not as good as it was when I was young.

Theo Von 1:54 I gotta read the packaging again.

Joe Rogan 1:55 But it's a lot better than it used to be. I started using a red light, a red light bed. Makes a giant difference, man.

Theo Von 2:00 Really?

Joe Rogan 2:00 Huge difference. Yeah, I don't need reading glasses anymore. I needed reading glasses for a while, like looking at my phone, like it was fine text.

Theo Von 2:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:06 I don't read a- I don't need it at all anymore.

Theo Von 2:08 And that's because of the red light?

Joe Rogan 2:09 Oh, yeah, 100%.

Theo Von 2:10 Oh.

Joe Rogan 2:11 Yeah, red light therapy and certain vitamins, like lutein, there's a few different ... There's a company called Pure Encapsulations. They make a formulation called Macular Support, and I- I take that stuff. But those two things, for sure, have had a- a big impact. I think it's the red light, though, more than anything.

Theo Von 2:28 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 2:28 That was the big- that was the big factor.

Theo Von 2:30 I've been doing sauna, and I've been getting in there. It feels good. I feel like a little dumpling when I get out of there.

Joe Rogan 2:35 Oh, yeah. It's good.

Theo Von 2:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:37 Right?

Theo Von 2:37 Yeah, it feels good. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:38 Get that body all heated up-

Theo Von 2:40 (grunts)

Joe Rogan 2:40 ... and everything just kind of flows out of you. I saw a protocol of what you're supposed to do before you get in there, and I've never done any of these things. But it's like, how much water are you supposed to drink before you go in.

Theo Von 2:50 Fuck all that, dude.

Joe Rogan 2:51 Like 45 minutes-

Theo Von 2:52 I pray and get in.

Joe Rogan 2:52 ... you're supposed to go, you're supposed to drink, uh, like a liter of water with electrolytes and some magnesium. I don't know. Some guy made this ... That's the problem. Like, everybody's an online guru.

Theo Von 3:05 Yeah, well, everybody, everything they watch, it's like they think you're trying to get in the Olympics. It's like, "Bitch-"

Joe Rogan 3:09 (laughs)

Theo Von 3:09 "... I'm just trying to fucking get to work."

Joe Rogan 3:11 (laughs)

Theo Von 3:11 You know what I'm saying, bitch? I'm just trying to fucking-

Joe Rogan 3:13 I just want to feel a little bit better.

Theo Von 3:15 Yeah, I'm just trying to-

Joe Rogan 3:16 Just be-

Theo Von 3:16 ... make it out of my garage, you know?

Joe Rogan 3:17 ... get an edge.

Theo Von 3:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:19 Give me an edge on this cold, hard world.

Theo Von 3:21 Yeah, that's the only thing, man.

Joe Rogan 3:23 That's all I'm looking for.

Theo Von 3:24 But good to see you, dude.

Joe Rogan 3:25 Good to see you always, my friend.

Theo Von 3:26 I'm glad you're still alive.

Joe Rogan 3:28 You too. I'm glad you're still alive too.

Theo Von 3:29 Amen.

Joe Rogan 3:30 We both been interviewing dangerous people.

Theo Von 3:32 Have we, you think?

Joe Rogan 3:33 Uh, yeah. Yeah, definitely.

Theo Von 3:36 You really have. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 3:39 (laughs) Who have I interviewed that you haven't that's more dangerous?

Theo Von 3:42 Ooh, I don't know. That's a good question. I mean, I did ... (smacks lips) I don't ... (sighs) Yeah, I don't think I've had people that's that dangerous. Th- maybe Thomas Massie.

Joe Rogan 3:52 Oh, did you have him on?

Theo Von 3:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:53 Yeah, they all hate him right now. It's, uh, this is a sad thing about both political parties, not just the l- the right, but the left too, is they decide that they're gonna gang up on someone for not towing the line.

Theo Von 4:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:07 You know? Like, whatever happened to having different opinions? Whatever happened to having different perspectives and being able to argue your perspective?

Theo Von 4:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:15 But then they have these goofy ass bills. Which, by the way, they just fucking ... they slipped something into this last bill that, uh, Mitch McConnell guy did, I believe. Check, make sure that he did it. The hemp thing.

Narrator 4:27 Oh.

Joe Rogan 4:28 They slipped this thing in where you can no longer buy CBD with like ... It has to be like the lowest trace amount of THC in it.

Theo Von 4:38 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 4:39 Which is, for a f- like, like my wife's mom, you know, she's a older lady, and she takes CBD for pain, for joints and stuff like that.

Theo Von 4:47 Does she smoke it or she does the ointment?

Joe Rogan 4:48 No, she takes like, uh, oil, like CBD oil.

Theo Von 4:51 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 4:51 Yeah, he snuck it in there.

Theo Von 4:53 Oh, he's taking a hit of something. Look at his-

Joe Rogan 4:53 That old fucking dead turtle? He's a leading proponent-

Theo Von 4:56 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:56 ... of closing a 2018 Farm Bill loophole allowing intoxicating THC to be sold in low doses. See-

Theo Von 5:04 But he's got a couple of fucking milligrams in his neck. Look at that motherfucker.

Joe Rogan 5:06 He's got something going on. They definitely got him medicated. There ain't no way that guy's sleeping without help.

Theo Von 5:12 Aw.

Joe Rogan 5:12 Everybody hates him.

Theo Von 5:13 It looks like he hit a joint and it won't leave him alone.

Joe Rogan 5:16 Yeah. (laughs) Go back up and show them?

Narrator 5:17 (laughs)

Theo Von 5:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:17 Like he took a edible.

Theo Von 5:18 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:18 He like Joey Diaz dosed him.

Theo Von 5:20 Yeah, yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:22 (laughs)

Narrator 5:22 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:22 Looks like he's on the church- he's on the church of what's happening now.

Theo Von 5:25 Yeah, stay away, cocksucker.

Joe Rogan 5:27 And Joey Diaz-

Theo Von 5:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:27 Joey Diaz and Lee are just staring at him. Ah. Yeah, um, they gotta change that.

Theo Von 5:35 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:35 That's, uh, really bad.

Theo Von 5:36 Why is it bad? Because of what they-

Joe Rogan 5:37 'Cause for people that are getting benefits from CBD, the- the THC along with the CBD ... And by the way, we're talking super, super low amounts. But there's something about how CBD and THC work in a synergistic way for people that are in a lot of pain. Um, I know a lot of people, and like I said, my wife's mom, she says the stuff with the THC in it works better. And it's not getting her high. Like, this is the misunderstanding. This stuff's not gonna get you high. But it, what it will do is it helps with anxiety for a lot of people.It definitely reduces inflammation. And, uh, for people that have, like, joint pain-

Theo Von 6:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:15 ... like my friend, Dave Foley. Dave Foley from Newsradio, Kids in the Hall Dave Foley? Awesome guy. Uh, Dave had, like, pretty severe arthritis in his hands, like, where, you know, he was really having a hard time opening his hands. Started taking CBD oil and-

Theo Von 6:29 Could he open a jar or anything like that, you think? Was it hard?

Joe Rogan 6:30 He was in pain, man. It was, it was bad.

Theo Von 6:33 Oh.

Joe Rogan 6:33 Um, but now it's gone, and it's gone because of CBD. It's really effective, man. It's really effective.

Theo Von 6:39 And so what they're saying, that they don't want you to... Wh- why are they doing that? 'Cause they wanna control it, like, or-

Joe Rogan 6:43 It's the alcohol lobby. It's the same people that are trying to keep, um, marijuana illegal in Texas. It's the alcohol lobby. This is the fact: the fact is when people start smoking weed, they s- they drink less.

Theo Von 6:55 Mm.

Joe Rogan 6:56 And, you know, I mean, it could be because they just decided to get high and not get drunk, or it could be that they smoke pot and they get a little paranoid and they go, "Oh, my God, why am I poisoning myself five days a week?"

Theo Von 7:08 Well, a lot of people now, I feel like, are just doing, like, cocaine and saunas it seems like.

Joe Rogan 7:11 I don't think they're doing those together.

Theo Von 7:13 Not in th-

Joe Rogan 7:13 Maybe in your neighborhood. (laughs)

Theo Von 7:15 (laughs) No, no, not in our area.

Joe Rogan 7:17 (laughs) Maybe it's your town. (laughs)

Theo Von 7:18 I want my neighbors to know that.

Joe Rogan 7:19 Maybe your neighbors are coming over in their underwear with a fucking baggie.

Theo Von 7:24 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:24 "Let's go, Theo. Let's go. Let's get, get that bitch up to 185."

Theo Von 7:29 Let's go. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:31 "Let's go."

Theo Von 7:31 There's a place up ahead where we're going-

Joe Rogan 7:32 Woo, throw that water on them rocks. I'm ready. I want my nasal cavity to be open wide.

Theo Von 7:37 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:38 Get that leuca- eucalyptus in the air. (laughs)

Theo Von 7:42 Bro, dude. The best is, yeah, if you have a-

Joe Rogan 7:45 (laughs)

Theo Von 7:45 ... if you have a good brother or somebody and they say eucalyptus, bro.

Joe Rogan 7:48 Yeah, eucalyptus.

Theo Von 7:49 That's the fucking best, bro.

Joe Rogan 7:49 Get the eucalyptus in the air. But, yeah.

Theo Von 7:51 Yeah, I don't know if a lot of people are even drinking that much anymore, do you think?

Joe Rogan 7:54 A lot less people are drinking, including me. But I did have a drink the other night before I went on stage and I felt great. Woo, I haven't done that in a while. I had a little whiskey before I went on stage. But I-

Theo Von 8:02 Di- did you d-

Joe Rogan 8:02 ... gave up on drinking entirely for many months. I forget how many months, but it was quite a while where I didn't have a sip of alcohol and I felt way better.

Theo Von 8:10 You did?

Joe Rogan 8:11 Yeah, but I don't think there's anything wrong with moderation. You know, like, uh, when I was in, uh, New York, I went to this place, Teresi. Oh, my God.

Theo Von 8:19 For MSG you mean? For the-

Joe Rogan 8:20 Yeah.

Theo Von 8:20 ... for the pipes just now?

Joe Rogan 8:21 Oh, my God. There's this Italian restaurant in New York City called Teresi. (yawns) Oh, it's so good.

Theo Von 8:27 Remember that place you took me to, Joe?

Joe Rogan 8:28 So good. Oh, yeah, Gaetano's in Vegas. Oh, so good.

Theo Von 8:32 That guy, the fa- the little, uh-

Joe Rogan 8:33 Oh, bro, all handmade pasta at Gaetano's, man, with-

Theo Von 8:36 What was that little thing? It's like a little square. Looks like a-

Joe Rogan 8:38 It was ravioli or something.

Theo Von 8:39 Oh, my God.

Joe Rogan 8:40 Oh, my God, right?

Theo Von 8:40 Like a shingle off... Fell off the roof of Heaven and landed in my mouth.

Joe Rogan 8:44 Yeah, with that sauce. Just perfect sauce. (blows kiss)

Theo Von 8:46 God.

Joe Rogan 8:47 And Gaetano's is, uh, like, a lot of it-

Theo Von 8:49 Mm.

Joe Rogan 8:49 It's, it's like the best ones get their flour from Italy 'cause it doesn't fuck with your stomach. Our flour's all messed up, man. Our wheat's messed up.

Theo Von 8:58 Oh, yeah, a lot of our wheat's from Memphis, dude. A lot of our wheat has, like, yeah-

Joe Rogan 9:01 All kinds of pesticides on it. Glyphosate.

Theo Von 9:04 It's trap wheat. A lot of it has cru-

Joe Rogan 9:05 Trap wheat.

Theo Von 9:06 Yeah. (laughs) A lot of it has guns.

Joe Rogan 9:07 (laughs)

Theo Von 9:07 It is, like, fucking bullet holes in our wheat.

Joe Rogan 9:09 You could test positive for coke.

Theo Von 9:11 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:11 Just from that, just from eating wheat. Just from having bread. Do you know how many out- dollar bills test positive for coke? It's some crazy number.

Theo Von 9:18 Uh, yeah, I could imagine that that's probably true.

Joe Rogan 9:20 I think so.

Theo Von 9:21 This guy tests positive, huh?

Joe Rogan 9:22 That's Art Bell.

Theo Von 9:22 Was that your stepdad?

Joe Rogan 9:23 No, that's Art Bell. You don't know who Art Bell is? Coast to Coast with Art Bell-

Theo Von 9:27 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:27 ... from the Kingdom of Ni. Yeah, Pahrump, Nevada.

Theo Von 9:31 Oh, that's him?

Joe Rogan 9:32 Y- yeah, that's Art. He's the godfather of fun conspiracies.

Theo Von 9:36 Yes, he's-

Joe Rogan 9:36 Like UFOs and Bigfoot.

Theo Von 9:37 ... the radio station you can listen at night.

Joe Rogan 9:39 Yeah, dude.

Theo Von 9:40 Oh.

Joe Rogan 9:40 He was my nighttime jam coming home from The Comedy Store.

Theo Von 9:43 I could see that.

Joe Rogan 9:44 Always, 'cause you're coming home from The Comedy Store. It's, like, you know, 1:00 in the morning and the Art, Coast to Coast with Art Bell is on, and the guy calls up Art, "I'm a time traveler." (laughs)

Theo Von 9:54 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:54 He had a time traveler hotline.

Theo Von 9:56 Of course he did, dude.

Joe Rogan 9:57 (laughs) You could call in-

Theo Von 9:58 He was you. He was you, you freak.

Joe Rogan 10:00 (laughs)

Theo Von 10:00 You know how many time travelers you've had in here?

Joe Rogan 10:02 Probably a couple.

Theo Von 10:03 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:03 At least one.

Theo Von 10:04 A couple that probably can't find their way home too, I bet.

Joe Rogan 10:06 At least one. I've had at least one time traveler.

Theo Von 10:07 No, dude, that's you. I could totally picture it now. You, like, you get a car with some speakers in it and you're the only-

Joe Rogan 10:13 Yeah.

Theo Von 10:13 ... one driving around listening to Art Bell, like-

Joe Rogan 10:14 Oh, there was a lot of people listening. He was really popular.

Theo Von 10:16 Oh, no, I know how popular he was, but I mean at a level where you would bump it with s- bass.

Joe Rogan 10:20 Oh, yeah.

Theo Von 10:20 Like you loved it that much.

Joe Rogan 10:21 Right, right, right. Yeah, I loved it. I loved it. You know, it's like the perfect s- stuff to occupy your mind coming home from The Comedy Store.

Theo Von 10:28 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:28 Because occasionally it was, like, real shit. Like, occasionally he'd have some people talking about some really fascinating things, you know, like asteroid impacts and st- and he had Terence McKenna on a few times. He had a lot of interesting people, but then every now and then he would mix it up with a dude who says he's a werewolf. (laughs)

Theo Von 10:46 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:46 And Art would never go, "Man, you ain't a werewolf." He would go, "Interesting. Tell me more." (laughs)

Theo Von 10:52 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:52 He let dudes talk.

Theo Von 10:53 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:54 He let dudes say the most ridiculous shit. It was fucking great. I got to do his show once. I got to, I did-

Theo Von 11:01 Did you really?

Joe Rogan 11:01 Yeah, I did on-

Theo Von 11:02 You called in?

Joe Rogan 11:02 I did when it was on the radio, or on the internet rather. He wasn't on the radio anymore. He had an internet, uh, radio show for a while.

Theo Von 11:08 And did he know who you were at that point or no?

Joe Rogan 11:10 Yeah. Yeah, luckily. But, uh, to me it was like, "Fuck yeah." It's, like, a few things in my life where when I did them I was like, "Yes." You know, that was a big one. I hung up the phone. I had a giant fucking smile on my face.

Theo Von 11:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:22 I just did The Art Bell Show, son.

Theo Von 11:23 Dude, that's so cool that that's him. I can't tell if I can see him better with or without these on.

Joe Rogan 11:28 I think it's psychological. I'm telling you, those glasses don't do a damn thing. They don't even change the shape of your face. You know how sometimes people put them on and I always go, "How blind is this motherfucker?" And I look to the side and I can see, like, their face caves in-

Theo Von 11:40 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:40 ... like, like a half a foot because they got giant magnifying glasses over their eyeballs.

Theo Von 11:45 Oh, my God. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:45 But with you it looks exactly the same. The line of your face doesn't change at all when you turn side to side.

Theo Von 11:51 I can't tell.

Joe Rogan 11:51 I think they're fucking with you. I think they think you're crazy and they're like, "His eyes are perfect. Just give him some clear lenses."

Theo Von 11:58 Mm.

Joe Rogan 11:58 And you're like, "Yeah, I think, I think, I think this works. I think I see better than these."

Theo Von 12:02 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:02 I think he... "Y'all got a vape pen?" (laughs)

Theo Von 12:07 (Laughs) (claps) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:07 (laughs)

Theo Von 12:07 Let me hit that vape, homie.

Joe Rogan 12:09 There is something about when, uh, people wear them, they look smarter.

Theo Von 12:13 Oh, for sure, dude. My friend was wearing them the other day, this girl, and I was like, "Dang, this girl is-"

Joe Rogan 12:19 She must be a genius.

Theo Von 12:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:20 Hot secretary.

Theo Von 12:21 Oh.

Joe Rogan 12:22 Or hot professor, hot lady professor.

Theo Von 12:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:23 Ooh!

Theo Von 12:24 Let me do some homework up in them undies.

Joe Rogan 12:26 Ooh.

Theo Von 12:26 That's what I was thinking.

Joe Rogan 12:27 (laughs)

Theo Von 12:28 (laughs) Yeah. Let me get up in that study hall, baby girl.

Joe Rogan 12:33 Yeah.

Theo Von 12:34 Baby girl.

Joe Rogan 12:34 Let me get them extra credit points. Let's go.

Theo Von 12:38 Um, yeah, dude. We're-

Joe Rogan 12:38 But if you're a dumb dude with glasses, that's a bad look.

Theo Von 12:41 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 12:41 'Cause not only are you blind, but you're fucking stupid too.

Theo Von 12:44 It was like Steven Avery's cousin, that little fella that stood by the... Like, was grilling hotdogs on that burn barrel in the, um... Remember when they, when they-

Joe Rogan 12:51 Who's Steven Avery?

Theo Von 12:52 The, um...

Joe Rogan 12:55 (laughs) Who's Steven Avery?

Theo Von 12:55 How would you describe him?

Joe Rogan 12:56 Jamie?

Narrator 12:57 The, the murderers from the, the, like, Netflix thing from the... I think it was Pandemic, wasn't it?

Theo Von 13:02 Making a Murderor, was that him?

Narrator 13:04 Ye-

Theo Von 13:04 I can't remember.

Narrator 13:05 ...ah.

Joe Rogan 13:05 What was his case?

Theo Von 13:06 He was a murderer. Well, they said he was. Was he? The guy that... Yes, he was a murderer.

Narrator 13:10 He's in jail for it.

Theo Von 13:11 He's in jail for it, and he had his little cousin-

Narrator 13:13 Brendan Dassey.

Joe Rogan 13:13 Oh, this is the guy that's a little mentally challenged.

Theo Von 13:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:16 Yeah.

Narrator 13:17 There you go.

Joe Rogan 13:17 I read some stuff about that.

Theo Von 13:18 And his little cousin, that's him-

Narrator 13:19 Brendan.

Theo Von 13:19 ... with shades on. Brendan Dassey, B. Dassey, who was actually... Uh, we did a little bit of pen palling with him, tried to anyway.

Joe Rogan 13:27 What do they think about this? Do they think that-

Narrator 13:29 I think he did it. I think there was, like... I th-... Well, I believe people said-

Joe Rogan 13:33 Bro.

Narrator 13:33 ... that the Netflix thing got, like, edited strange and left stuff out, but maybe there is.

Theo Von 13:36 That's the thing. You can't tell what's real anymore. Who knows?

Joe Rogan 13:38 Well, selective editing is crazy. It's crazy that they still do that. (laughs)

Theo Von 13:43 Well, duh, everything's crazy right now.

Joe Rogan 13:45 Yeah. I know.

Theo Von 13:46 I mean, I feel like this is the year. Do you feel like this is the year that, um, people realize that, like, nee-... Both of the neither side of the government is working for us? Is that a weird thing to say?

Joe Rogan 13:58 Well, it's true. It's pretty obvious that it's true.

Theo Von 14:01 Okay.

Joe Rogan 14:01 They're all working for the people that got 'em in, so no matter what they... Even if they're good people that wanna do well for you, their obligations when they get in there are the people that helped them get in there. They're the campaign contributors, they're the military-industrial complex, the military contractors, the big money, big money banks, big money.

Theo Von 14:19 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:19 That's what this, all this government shutdown shit was all about, man. It's all about healthcare, right? So, it's all about how much money is getting funneled through these corporations. If you really think that what they're trying to do is make sure that people get healthcare, you're fucking naive, okay?

Theo Von 14:35 Yeah, you're ridiculous.

Joe Rogan 14:37 What they're doing is they are protecting some kind of slush fund. If somebody digs into this and finds out where that money's going and finds out how this money's distributed, it'll make more sense. Because there ain't a fucking chance in hell that they're keeping the government shut down to protect your health.

Theo Von 14:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:55 There's not a chance. There's not a chance they're shutting down the fucking air traffic controllers.

Theo Von 15:01 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:01 Not a chance they're shutting down NASA 'cause they're worried about you getting the flu. That shit is not happening. That's not what's going on.

Theo Von 15:08 But I think everybody's starting to realize that. Dude, I went to the post office. Have you been to the post office recently?

Joe Rogan 15:13 I have not.

Theo Von 15:14 Okay.

Joe Rogan 15:14 Not since I voted. That was the last time I was at the post office.

Theo Von 15:16 Okay. Well, it's over.

Joe Rogan 15:19 (laughs)

Theo Von 15:19 So, if you wanna know what the post office is like, dude, g-... I went... I'm not even joking. I went into the closest branch near me in Nashville. There was two birds. There was two crows in there, two. One of 'em was a crow definitely. One of 'em was a pretty big bird, and I thought it was a crow, but he had some discoloration or whatever, so maybe like a mulatto crow or a mixed crow or something. I don't know.

Joe Rogan 15:40 (laughs) Okay.

Theo Von 15:40 Fu-... Pulling a fucking bo-... Like, fighting over a fucking box in there. And there's a lady, a, um, kind of like a darker woman in there, and she's spraying fucking Lysol trying to get them out of the fucking post office. I was like, "What?"

Joe Rogan 15:54 Lysol?

Theo Von 15:54 Yeah, or like a Fabuloso, like a-

Joe Rogan 15:56 (laughs)

Theo Von 15:56 ... cleaning spray.

Joe Rogan 15:57 Like this stuff-

Theo Von 15:58 Like a disinfectant.

Joe Rogan 15:59 Oh, okay.

Theo Von 15:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:00 Got it.

Theo Von 16:00 Like, she's standing on a little step ladder trying to fucking-

Joe Rogan 16:03 Right, right, right, right.

Theo Von 16:03 ... get these two birds who were fighting over a fucking package. I was like-

Joe Rogan 16:06 Whoa.

Theo Von 16:06 ... "We're fucked. We're fucked, man." That's... And that's, that's the government.

Joe Rogan 16:11 That's biblical, right? That's biblical.

Theo Von 16:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:12 Crows.

Theo Von 16:12 I mean, I'm sure-

Joe Rogan 16:13 The ravens.

Theo Von 16:13 It seems like a Stephen King outtake. You know?

Joe Rogan 16:15 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Theo Von 16:16 But I'm like, "This is where we are." This is, this is how... Like, everything's privatized now. It's a wrap.

Joe Rogan 16:23 Mm.

Theo Von 16:24 Do you feel like it's a wrap? Like, I've been thinking for years that America just feels like a shell company, like a shell LLC.

Joe Rogan 16:30 Here's the thing about it being privatized. Some things probably should be privatized 'cause they work better.

Theo Von 16:36 Okay, well, like FedEx came along, UPS came along.

Joe Rogan 16:39 Right.

Theo Von 16:39 So those came along.

Joe Rogan 16:40 But the post office still does a good job, man.

Theo Von 16:42 No.

Joe Rogan 16:42 You know, the p-

Theo Von 16:43 I'm gonna disagree with that. I'm sorry.

Joe Rogan 16:44 Okay.

Theo Von 16:44 I never disagree with you, I don't think.

Joe Rogan 16:46 (laughs) The post office is the only-

Theo Von 16:48 But... (laughs) Okay, yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:48 ... people that are sending, sending letters for you for, like, 30 cents or whatever it costs, and then the post office are the only way that you could ship chickens, live chicks.

Theo Von 16:57 Ooh.

Joe Rogan 16:57 Like, little baby chicks. They have to do it through the post office 'cause they know what to do, and they keep 'em alive. They know their chicks.

Theo Von 17:03 Ooh, that's nice. I didn't know that.

Joe Rogan 17:04 All the... We've had chickens, you know?

Theo Von 17:06 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 17:06 And every chicken we get, when we get 'em, they're baby chicks.

Theo Von 17:08 And they come in the mail?

Joe Rogan 17:09 We get 'em. We get 'em through the post office. Post office delivers them.

Theo Von 17:11 Mm-hmm. Can you hear the package like that? It's like meow, meow, meow.

Joe Rogan 17:13 Yeah, bro. The post office, it works. It's not-

Theo Von 17:15 Uh-

Joe Rogan 17:15 ... perfect because it's the government, and there's no government programs that are perfect, you know?

Theo Von 17:19 It doesn't work that good anymore, though. I think it's-

Joe Rogan 17:22 (laughs)

Theo Von 17:22 It's gotten so bad, dude. The post office is-

Joe Rogan 17:26 Maybe.

Theo Von 17:26 Bro, it's gotten bad. I sent my niece a birthday card, dude. She never got it. She never got it.

Joe Rogan 17:31 Mm-hmm.

Theo Von 17:31 It had money. It's gone. It's gone.

Joe Rogan 17:32 Right.

Theo Von 17:32 She'll never get it.

Joe Rogan 17:33 Bro, you know what always kills me?

Theo Von 17:33 Nobody's getting anything.

Joe Rogan 17:34 The videos of these people dropping off UPS packages. They take a picture of the package, and then they steal the package.

Theo Von 17:40 (Laughs) My god.

Joe Rogan 17:41 I've seen that. I've seen videos of that. I think people are kinda hip to what Ring cameras could do. But, bro, there was a little, quite a while where people were doing some really fucking horrible shit-

Theo Von 17:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:51 ... right in front of those cameras 'cause they didn't know.

Theo Von 17:53 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:53 They didn't know. You, you can't be just stealing people's packages after you drop 'em off.

Theo Von 17:57 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:57 Like, the fucking UPS driver, you know?

Theo Von 18:00 It's a fucking wild time, dude.

Joe Rogan 18:01 Like, a lot of videos of that, man. They put them down, take a picture.

Theo Von 18:04 Really?

Joe Rogan 18:05 And then they pick 'em up and take 'em back to their truck.

Theo Von 18:06 And take it back.

Joe Rogan 18:07 And then the camera's like, "Hey, fuck face."

Theo Von 18:09 Yeah.Hey, motherfucker. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:13 Yeah. (laughs)

Narrator 18:15 (laughs)

Theo Von 18:15 This-

Joe Rogan 18:15 This episode is brought to you by Visible. When your phone plan's as good as Visible, you've got to tell your people. It's the ultimate wireless hack to save money and still get great coverage and a reliable connection. Get one line wireless with unlimited data and hotspot for $25 a month, taxes and fees included, all on Verizon's 5G network. Plus, now, for a limited time, new members can get the Visible plan for just $19 a month for the first 26 months. Use promo code SWITCH26 and save beyond the season. It's a deal so good, you're gonna wanna tell your people. Switch now at visible.com/rogan. Terms apply. Limited-time offers subject to change. See visible.com for plan features and network management details. Listen, man-

Theo Von 19:07 They should have different, like, ring tone, like a voice like, "This is Mr. T. You need to bring that package back, sucker."

Joe Rogan 19:12 That is one of the dirtiest things, porch pirates.

Theo Von 19:15 Well, just-

Joe Rogan 19:15 People that be stealing shit off your porch. That is-

Theo Von 19:17 To get that close to somebody's house, to be right there.

Joe Rogan 19:20 Yeah.

Theo Von 19:20 That's one thing I like about living in a state where there is the ability to express something.

Joe Rogan 19:25 You're talking about guns.

Theo Von 19:27 Bullet-arily, that's all I can say it.

Narrator 19:29 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 19:30 (laughs)

Theo Von 19:30 There's the ability to express something bullet-arily-

Joe Rogan 19:33 Hmm.

Theo Von 19:33 ... to somebody if you disagree, if their behavior see- is illegal.

Joe Rogan 19:37 Yeah. You gotta be careful about what, that, though. Their, the laws are different in different places. Like even if someone's stealing something, you're not allowed to kill them.

Theo Von 19:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:46 Um, the, a guy just got in trouble because some dudes, I think there was three dudes broke into his garage, and he, uh, went into his garage, and they went after him and he shot them. And he killed one of them, and now they're bringing him up for manslaughter. 'Cause I guess they're saying he didn't have to shoot them. He could've just scared them or he didn't have to kill them. He could've just retreated-

Theo Von 20:11 Scared them?

Joe Rogan 20:11 ... back into his home. Like, in California, they're literally telling you-

Theo Von 20:15 He scared them, like rest of, like a, like a... Oh, he just scared them with a gun, I guess?

Joe Rogan 20:19 I guess. But like, you don't know what they have. You don't know what's going on. These are split-second decisions you're making with your life in danger.

Theo Von 20:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:26 And then if you have a wife and children-

Theo Von 20:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:28 ... bro, you are gonna shoot first and ask questions later. You're not gonna make a mistake that's gonna have your, your kids killed.

Theo Von 20:34 He could be like, "Are you scared?"

Joe Rogan 20:35 Scared.

Theo Von 20:35 "Are you scared or what?" You can't say that kinda shit.

Joe Rogan 20:37 No, bro, it's scary. If someone's breaking into your home, you have no idea what they have, you have no idea if they're there to kill you, if you have no idea if they're there to rob you, if they're gonna duct tape you and torture you for a week. You don't know what the fuck is going on.

Theo Von 20:48 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 20:49 And if you have a gun, you're most likely gonna use it, and you're gonna shoot them. And the fact that these people broke into his house, they were committing a crime and defending his property and pr- maybe his life, he's getting charged with manslaughter? That's, that's ridiculous.

Theo Von 21:04 I see.

Joe Rogan 21:04 This is the, this is the problem with liberal politics. And this is where I get really confused, because I'm like, I don't know what they're trying to do. But if I was gonna try to destroy civilization, that's how I would do it.

Theo Von 21:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:17 I would keep, keep letting violent people out, keep saying it's racist to keep them in jail, keep saying, you know, they're a victim of systematic racism. And k- just like let the violent people stay being violent. And then when people defend themselves, lock them up, have everybody scared. Like if you wanted to destroy society, you would do it exactly this way. And I don't understand that. I don't understand. Like it's, I g- I understand being a kind, compassionate person doesn't believe in gun violence, absolutely. But if that's the case, like there's no better deterrent to gun violence than someone who has a gun and y- you can't get to their house because they'll fucking shoot you, okay?

Theo Von 21:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:53 Like that's, that's a really good deterrent. Unless you're gonna have police everywhere, and you don't, so like who's gonna protect people from bad people? If you're gonna admit that bad people exist, if you wanna s- stop bad people from happening...

Theo Von 22:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:06 That's a conversation I'd love to have. That's a real conversation. Like let's figure out how to clean up a lot of these neighborhoods and figure out what's causing all these problems.

Theo Von 22:14 But nobody wants to do that or it would have, it would have been done by now at this point.

Joe Rogan 22:17 Exactly.

Theo Von 22:18 W- people just wanna kind of keep... These higher powers, they know what they're doing. It just starts to feel like the experiment, like we're just really seeing the experiment, you know?

Joe Rogan 22:26 It just looks-

Theo Von 22:26 It's almost like say you were playing the game Mario or something.

Joe Rogan 22:28 Right.

Theo Von 22:28 And one day, Mario, instead of just going this way on the screen, he fucking turns and looks at you. And he's like, "I see what you're doing." That's what it feels like we are right now. Like we're s- we're looking-

Joe Rogan 22:40 Right.

Theo Von 22:41 ... at the people controlling everything and be like...

Joe Rogan 22:43 Yeah.

Theo Von 22:44 "Oh."

Joe Rogan 22:44 That's all because of the internet, dog.

Theo Von 22:47 But it feels like-

Joe Rogan 22:48 If it wasn't for the internet, no one would be looking. Because we wouldn't be getting these conversations.

Theo Von 22:53 Right, we'd still be, we'd still be, people would still be disillusioned.

Joe Rogan 22:55 You'd be getting CNN. You'd be getting some horse shit version of what's actually going on. But because of the internet, and real independent journalists, and, and people that are breaking things down, you start to go, "Wait a minute, what the fuck is going on?"

Theo Von 23:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:07 Who is, what, who is doing this? Why are you doing it? Want some coffee, dog?

Theo Von 23:12 Can I have some?

Joe Rogan 23:13 Fuck yeah, of course you can.

Theo Von 23:14 Oh, thanks, buddy.

Joe Rogan 23:16 Um.

Theo Von 23:17 Yeah, man. Like-

Joe Rogan 23:18 I mean, we're the first generation that has had... Cheers, my brother.

Theo Von 23:22 Cheers, man. Good to see you, dude.

Joe Rogan 23:24 Good to see you always.

Theo Von 23:24 Really am excited to see you.

Joe Rogan 23:27 I'm excited to see you too, always.

Theo Von 23:29 And I'm excited to see you a little clearer than I did-

Joe Rogan 23:31 I don't think you are. I think it's, I think they got you. I think they're fucking with you, man. I think they're giving you placebos too.

Theo Von 23:37 (laughs) Oh yeah, really?

Joe Rogan 23:38 Yeah, I think gave you a... Let me take some whatever pills they give you. Let's see what happens.

Theo Von 23:41 No these are 15s, I think. These are good.

Joe Rogan 23:43 15s? What does that mean?

Theo Von 23:47 I don't know. Ooh, this is-

Joe Rogan 23:47 Bro, you fogged up. (laughs)

Theo Von 23:50 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:50 You fogged up from the coffee, gotcha.

Theo Von 23:52 You fucking gave me this molten coffee, dude.

Joe Rogan 23:55 Black Rifle in the house.

Theo Von 23:56 Is it?

Joe Rogan 23:57 Always. That's all we drink.

Theo Von 23:58 Dude, I went, uh... Oh yeah, well there's, yeah. I'm just at the, the journalism now. I can't have, I know this is too hot for me right now.

Joe Rogan 24:04 (laughs) It's not that hot. Look, see?

Theo Von 24:05 I'm gonna need glasses for my tongue after I drink this, dude.

Joe Rogan 24:07 No, it's not-

Theo Von 24:08 It isn't?

Joe Rogan 24:08 No, no. It's an illusion. It's warm.... it's decently hot. You know, like-

Theo Von 24:14 You're right.

Joe Rogan 24:14 Nice, nice.

Theo Von 24:15 Ooh.

Joe Rogan 24:15 Yeah. Refreshing.

Theo Von 24:16 That is good. I like it.

Joe Rogan 24:17 Yeah, like refreshing, not like ouchy. Why can't Starbucks figure that out?

Theo Von 24:22 'Cause they, I don't even think that's coffee anymore. It's almost become like McDonalds.

Joe Rogan 24:25 What are they doing?

Theo Von 24:25 It's just a f- it's a-

Joe Rogan 24:26 It's burnt.

Theo Von 24:27 It's a taste. It's just a thing.

Joe Rogan 24:29 I drink black coffee. That's what I drink.

Theo Von 24:31 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:31 That's what I like. I got into it a while ago, like years ago.

Theo Von 24:33 I like my shit like Rick Ross, bro. That's what I like.

Joe Rogan 24:35 Yeah.

Theo Von 24:35 I got Rick Ross in my mouth.

Joe Rogan 24:36 You know when I got into it, Jamie? Remember when we had that guy Peter Giuliani on, that was the coffee connoisseur? That got me into, I started drinking black coffee from then on, though. That was a long time ago, at least 10 years ago, right? I had a real coffee connoisseur on.

Theo Von 24:48 Yeah?

Joe Rogan 24:49 'Cause I wanted to know all about coffee. It's really-

Theo Von 24:50 Like a sommelier, kinda?

Joe Rogan 24:51 Yeah, man. Dude, it's fa- he brought in a bunch of different coffees. We were tasting like these Ethiopian blends that almost was like lemony.

Theo Von 24:59 Mm.

Joe Rogan 24:59 He was like, "You taste the hints of lemon?" I'm like, "I do."

Theo Von 25:01 Mm. You taste- you taste-

Joe Rogan 25:03 Did you know all coffee comes from Ethiopia?

Theo Von 25:05 Uh-uh.

Joe Rogan 25:06 Yes. Some of it.

Theo Von 25:07 Some of it comes from c- some of it comes, I know, from, um, there's Kona coffee, isn't there?

Joe Rogan 25:10 Right, but it all originated in Ethiopia. That's where the plant originated.

Theo Von 25:14 Oh, wow.

Joe Rogan 25:15 Yeah, so they moved it into South America, so like they started making it in Colombia. The make it in Hawaii as bomb diggity coffee.

Theo Von 25:23 It's good.

Joe Rogan 25:24 Kona coffee is some of the best coffee in the world. I guess probably the soil, like something about the Hawaiian volcanic-

Theo Von 25:28 We also, in Hawaii, if you, if I fucking drink my own piss in Hawaii-

Joe Rogan 25:31 (laughs)

Theo Von 25:31 ... I'm still, it's a little better than if I'm drinking it in fucking outside of Akron.

Joe Rogan 25:35 (laughs)

Theo Von 25:36 You know what I'm saying?

Joe Rogan 25:37 Outside of Akron, smoke stacks in the background and shit.

Theo Von 25:39 You gotta motherfuckin' bro. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:40 You're out there drinking a liter of piss-

Theo Von 25:42 Yeah, you gotta motherfuckin'- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:42 ... before you get in the sauna with your neighbor.

Theo Von 25:44 Bro, yeah. Before I get a little bag for my, for my-

Joe Rogan 25:47 Someone's got a urine therapy protocol you have to take with your cocaine.

Theo Von 25:51 Dude, yeah. (laughs) Bro, even a hot batch of piss in Hawaii taste way better.

Joe Rogan 25:56 (laughs) That's so true. But I drink it in America, like I- I used to order Kona coffee.

Theo Von 26:00 Yeah. But yeah, t- I mean I-

Joe Rogan 26:01 Before I went Black Rifle exclusive.

Theo Von 26:03 Yeah. Well, I met the guy from Black Riffle, Evan Hippen, right?

Joe Rogan 26:04 Oh, Evan, he's a good friend of mine.

Theo Von 26:05 Nice guy.

Joe Rogan 26:06 I love him to death.

Theo Von 26:07 Yeah, he took me around whenever, whenever I was there.

Joe Rogan 26:09 He's one of my absolute favorite people. Oh, I'm wearing one of his shirts. Look at that, dog.

Theo Von 26:13 He treated me super well, dude.

Joe Rogan 26:14 He's the best.

Theo Von 26:15 Dude, somebody s- oh, Candace Owens sent me that thing, uh, it was a, um-

Joe Rogan 26:19 You got notes?

Theo Von 26:20 She sent, I just-

Joe Rogan 26:21 Bro, you, you brought notes?

Theo Von 26:22 There's things I wanted to talk about, I just wanna forget 'em.

Joe Rogan 26:24 (laughs) Okay.

Theo Von 26:26 My br- my br- I- I- my- I- my, it's been hard for me to remember stuff.

Joe Rogan 26:30 Okay.

Theo Von 26:31 So...

Joe Rogan 26:31 I'll help you out.

Theo Von 26:32 You will?

Joe Rogan 26:32 Yeah.

Theo Von 26:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:33 You get some Alpha Brain. Take some, have you ever? Do you ever take vitamins for your brain?

Theo Von 26:39 Nope.

Joe Rogan 26:40 It works.

Theo Von 26:40 I will take some.

Joe Rogan 26:41 Yeah, you should try-

Theo Von 26:41 I would love to have some.

Joe Rogan 26:42 There's a bunch of different kinds. You should try what you like. Um, but another real good one is, um, this company, uh, Neuro Gum, they make Neuro Gum and Neuro Mints.

Theo Von 26:51 I've heard you talk about it.

Joe Rogan 26:52 That's really good. There's anoth- one called True Brain, and they, they make like a little shot that's really good.

Theo Von 26:57 Magic Mind I know has one that I think is pretty good that's p-

Joe Rogan 26:59 That's a different one, that's a different kind. They use mushrooms, but that's a good one, too.

Theo Von 27:03 I haven't heard about it.

Joe Rogan 27:04 I think synergistically they would all work well together, but there's legit vitamins that work on your brain.

Theo Von 27:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:10 Yeah, they work on your memory.

Theo Von 27:12 Yeah, I wanna, yeah. Yeah, I'll- I'll probably, I would like to try-

Joe Rogan 27:15 I'll give you some before we leave.

Theo Von 27:16 Okay.

Joe Rogan 27:16 I have some Alpha Brain Black Label around here somewhere.

Theo Von 27:19 Yeah, I'd like to try.

Joe Rogan 27:19 I definitely have a few bottles in the kitchen, but that's the best. Alpha Brain, I've tried 'em all, even though I know I'm associated with Alpha b- with on it, and I'm probably lying. I'm not. Uh, this, I tr- I tell you about all the other ones, I don't make a penny off of them. But Alpha Brain, I think is the best one. It's the most effective.

Theo Von 27:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:34 And it's the o- the only one that I know of that did two double blind placebo controlled studies with the Boston Center for Memory.

Theo Von 27:42 Alpha Brain?

Joe Rogan 27:43 Yeah. So we did that because a lot of people were saying it was snake oil.

Theo Von 27:46 The Boston Center for Memory, like, "How many hits did-

Joe Rogan 27:48 Boston, Euclid's having, buddy.

Theo Von 27:50 ... fuckin', (laughs) in 2001?" You know?

Joe Rogan 27:54 (laughs)

Theo Von 27:54 What year did the Sox make it into the series?

Joe Rogan 27:58 (laughs)

Theo Von 27:58 Dude, one time I was going into a show. We were outside of Ba- we had a show, outside of Boston, it's like a theater, it's like 15, 20 minutes away. Um, and I'm walking in, I'm walking in late, everybody's already in there, the, I think the show had started, and so I'm coming in. And a guy and his wife were walking by with pizza, they're heading in. And the guy's like, "Dorothy, give him your fucking pizza, the guy's starving, he's late for work." And I'm like, "I'm fine." And it, I, and first of all, why don't you just give me your pizza, dude? He's like, "Dorothy." This fucking, kinda like, kinda big fat lady she said that is muffling down a piece of pizza, dude. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:28 He was trying to give, get you to give her pizza?

Theo Von 28:31 His wife to give me her pizza. I'm like, "Gi-"

Joe Rogan 28:32 But not his pizza?

Theo Von 28:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:34 Interesting. He's like, "Dorothy, can't you s-" That's a bad relationship.

Theo Von 28:36 He's like, "Dorothy, can't you see the guy's w- he- he- he's running late for work, help him ou-"

Joe Rogan 28:40 He's trying to tell his wife he's fat, and he's doing it in a subtle way.

Theo Von 28:43 Well, he was using me, so I'm like-

Joe Rogan 28:44 He was using you.

Theo Von 28:44 ... "Dorothy," I'm fine, you know?

Joe Rogan 28:47 Yeah. Yeah, he was using you.

Theo Von 28:48 But it was just like a, like just Boston thing maybe.

Joe Rogan 28:50 (clears throat) Or he was just trying to have some conversation. It might've been that. Maybe we're looking into it too much.

Theo Von 28:55 Dude, I had a dream you were an EMT, dude. Have you ever had that?

Joe Rogan 28:57 Really? You had a dream i- I was an EMT?

Theo Von 28:59 Yeah, and I've had it two times.

Joe Rogan 29:00 The, really? The, I was like tending to car accidents and stuff?

Theo Von 29:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:04 Really?

Theo Von 29:04 Mm-hmm. And I think it was in Boston.

Joe Rogan 29:05 Huh.

Theo Von 29:05 I think that's what even made me think about it.

Joe Rogan 29:07 I could've gone down that route in life maybe, if things had been different. That's possible.

Theo Von 29:11 It would've been pretty-

Joe Rogan 29:11 I could've saw that, that could've happened. I almost joined the army when I was, uh, 18 for their TaeKwonDo team. There was a dude, g- God, his, I think his name is Clay Barber. Um, he was a, one of the national competitors that I- I looked up to, uh, when I was on my way up. And he was, uh, in the army, and he had, uh, a, like the army paid him to train. And I was like, "Oh shit, you could join the army and they'll pay you to compete?" You know, 'cause they had an army boxing team like, I believe Ray Mercer was on the army boxing team-

Theo Von 29:43 Oh, wow.

Joe Rogan 29:43 ... when he fought in the Olympics and won the gold medal.

Theo Von 29:45 Do you have to be, but do you also ha- like w- do you have to do service as well?

Joe Rogan 29:49 Who is this, Jimmy?

Theo Von 29:50 Is that him? Robert.

Joe Rogan 29:51 No, he was a- a black guy.

Theo Von 29:53 Oh. Oh.

Joe Rogan 29:53 Well, there's that, see the TaeKwonDo? See it says right there, to the right?

Theo Von 29:58 Here?

Joe Rogan 29:58 Yeah, the- the one with the write, where it says his name right there. Click on that.

Theo Von 30:02 Which one are you looking at? The left one?

Joe Rogan 30:03 The one that your cursor's over, dog.

Theo Von 30:05 I don't see anything.

Joe Rogan 30:05 Clay Barber, right there. Yeah. So, he was really good in like, uh, I guess it was probably like '86.... or, yeah, somewhere around... I was 18, so it had to be '85 or '86.

Theo Von 30:20 Ooh, baby girl.

Joe Rogan 30:21 But that d- that's the dude right there. He was a, a, an elite, um, national competitor in my weight class.

Theo Von 30:27 He'll kick a fucking whisper out of your mouth. That dude's a gangster, huh?

Joe Rogan 30:30 Yeah, he was really good. Um, but he was competing for the army team, and so I was like, "Maybe I should join the army." And then I thought about it, I was like, "I don't wanna get shot." Like, "What am I doing?" Like, I, I don't trust anybody. You're gonna send me to some bullshit.

Theo Von 30:40 Did you even try on the clothes at home or anything? Did you do anything?

Joe Rogan 30:43 No, I didn't try on the clothes.

Theo Von 30:44 Oh, you don't say?

Joe Rogan 30:44 I saluted the mirror- in the mirror a couple times.

Theo Von 30:46 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:46 I'm like, "No, we're good."

Theo Von 30:48 Yeah, dude.

Joe Rogan 30:49 (clears throat)

Theo Von 30:49 Yeah. I got- I guess- I don't know if I could see you being in the, in the army. But yeah, it was just a dream. It was just a... I think it was, like, you... Ho- honestly, I think it was, like, you and Goggins, I think, were maybe, like, EMTs or whatever.

Joe Rogan 30:57 That sounds like something Goggins would do.

Theo Von 31:00 But y'all did not fucking p- you guys did not deal with anybody's bullshit. Like, you guys showed up and you were like, "Get the fuck up." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:06 (laughs)

Theo Von 31:07 You're like, "What the f- (laughs) you fucking pussy."

Joe Rogan 31:10 (laughs)

Theo Von 31:10 I think you- (laughs) I don't even think you had any, like-

Joe Rogan 31:12 Um...

Theo Von 31:12 (laughs) I don't think you had e- even a s- you had, like, a whistle. You're like...

Joe Rogan 31:15 (laughs)

Theo Von 31:16 "Bullshit."

Joe Rogan 31:17 (laughs)

Theo Von 31:18 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:19 You know what Goggins does that a lot of people don't know about? He smoke jumps.

Theo Von 31:23 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 31:23 Yeah. Like, for- 'cause it's-

Theo Von 31:25 I used to smoke and play high school basketball.

Joe Rogan 31:27 That's very different. It's very different. He, he parachutes into fires.

Theo Von 31:32 Oh, yeah, that's not it.

Joe Rogan 31:33 Like, in Canada.

Theo Von 31:34 For fun?

Joe Rogan 31:35 Uh, because it's hard.

Theo Von 31:37 Oh.

Joe Rogan 31:37 Literally. Because it's hard to do. Dude's worth, like, $30 million. He jumps out of fucking planes with parachutes.

Theo Von 31:44 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:44 And, and he sent me a photo, uh, of a giant-ass fucking grizzly track. This, they, they landed in Canada at this place.

Theo Von 31:51 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 31:52 And right where they landed, to fight these fires, there's, like, a ch- I mean, like, a grizzly track. And he was like, "Wish me luck!" (laughs)

Theo Von 32:00 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:01 I was like, "Dude, get the fuck out of there! Have you seen that track? Get the fuck out of there." That's a 1,100-pound wild dog.

Theo Von 32:09 Wow! And he just does it 'cause he wants the fucking-

Joe Rogan 32:11 'Cause it's hard to do.

Theo Von 32:13 You're landing just in the smoke.

Joe Rogan 32:14 Yeah.

Theo Von 32:15 Now, when you get in there, do they have a plan of where you're going? Is it fire-

Joe Rogan 32:18 Yeah.

Theo Von 32:18 It's firemen and firewomen in there?

Joe Rogan 32:20 You're in the- I th- well, uh, there's a lot of different tasks that they do.

Theo Von 32:23 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 32:23 But one of 'em is you're digging a fire break. So, you're dig- like, a lot of what happens w- is embers land on the ground and then that starts a fire, right? So, what they do is they'll, they'll clear the ground for a wide area where the fire is coming.

Theo Von 32:40 Okay.

Joe Rogan 32:40 So, the fire's on its way. They'll get ahead of the fire, and then they'll clear a giant path on the ground.

Theo Von 32:46 Oh, baby girl, that would scare me.

Joe Rogan 32:48 It's scary.

Theo Von 32:49 That would scare me.

Joe Rogan 32:49 Guys die. I mean, they 100%, they get trapped and they die.

Theo Von 32:53 Yeah, I'm sure.

Joe Rogan 32:53 'Cause the winds shifts, you know, things, sometimes things are unpredictable. Um, but he does it just 'cause it's hard. (laughs) He's so crazy.

Theo Von 33:01 Does he have to sign a con- he must have to sign something, huh?

Joe Rogan 33:03 Bro, I don't know what he does. I- he doesn't e- I bet he doesn't even tell them he's David Goggins.

Theo Von 33:07 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:07 He just shows up. I'm telling you, man, he's, he's a different cat. Like, he's, he's the real deal. Like, he's not pretending to do all these things.

Theo Von 33:15 Right.

Joe Rogan 33:16 You seen those videos where he takes UFC fighters on workouts?

Theo Von 33:19 Mm-mm.

Joe Rogan 33:19 And they're dying? Like, he took Israel Adesanya. Israel Adesanya, two-time middleweight motherfucking champion of the world, one of the best to ever do it, elite athlete, dying. I mean, die- couldn't keep up.

Theo Von 33:32 Damn.

Joe Rogan 33:32 Goggins was talking to him, like, "Come on, son! Keep going!" And he's like... (choking sound) He's throwing up in a garbage can. Like, no bullshit. It's crazy to watch.

Theo Von 33:41 Oh, my.

Joe Rogan 33:41 'Cause you realize, like, the level of conditioning this guy has.

Theo Von 33:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:44 He's 50 years old. He's not doing it for any reason. Like, th- he's not r- getting ready for the World Series. He's not in the Super Bowl. He's, he's just-

Theo Von 33:53 What, do you think he's proving it to himself?

Joe Rogan 33:54 (sighs) You would have to ask him. I mean-

Theo Von 33:57 I guess the challenge is doing that.

Joe Rogan 33:58 ... he, he says he's learning things. "I'm downloading lessons." Like, like, uh...

Theo Von 34:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:03 He's just, he's that guy, man. Like...

Narrator 34:05 Okay.

Joe Rogan 34:06 There's a lot of... What is that? I found the tracks, sorry. What is it? The tracks. Th- the grizzly tracks. Oh, show me, show me. Here, you know what? Dang it. I sent it to you, right? Yeah, it's on my phone. Yeah. Put the headphones on.

Theo Von 34:16 All right.

Joe Rogan 34:17 Check this out. Hang on one second, okay?

Narrator 34:18 Show me, show me, show me what it means.

Theo Von 34:21 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:21 Remember that song?

Narrator 34:22 Yeah. The one that makes me scream...

Theo Von 34:25 Yeah.

Narrator 34:25 ... since the...

Joe Rogan 34:26 (laughs)

Theo Von 34:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:28 The Cure.

Narrator 34:29 Yeah.

Theo Von 34:29 The Cure, yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:30 Yeah.

Theo Von 34:30 They were good and then they passed away, huh?

Joe Rogan 34:32 Did they?

Theo Von 34:33 I think before they... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:34 I don't think... Well, there's multiple members. Did that guy pass away? The lead singer of The Cures? The Cure, rather? What's the matter, Jamie? Uh, well, I had it on my phone, I didn't have it on my computer. Oh, I'm sorry.

Theo Von 34:47 Oh.

Joe Rogan 34:47 Yeah, and I kind of wanted to do it, but, uh... You jumped the gun.

Theo Von 34:50 Dude, if you were-

Joe Rogan 34:50 Why don't you send it to me and I'll send it to you? (laughs)

Theo Von 34:54 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:54 Then you'll have it on your computer. I found it on...

Theo Von 34:56 Dude, if you were in EMT, that'd be sick, huh?

Joe Rogan 34:59 I w- I think it's a bummer, man.

Theo Von 35:01 I don't even think you'd get out-

Joe Rogan 35:02 Like-

Theo Von 35:02 ... the vehicle. You'd pull up and be like, "Get the fuck up." (laughs) You know?

Joe Rogan 35:05 I'd probably be real sad.

Theo Von 35:07 And then Goggins would go help him. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:10 (laughs)

Theo Von 35:10 Goggin's be like, "Get the fuck up, you little pussy."

Joe Rogan 35:14 I don't know how to make this... Well, just send it to me and I'll send it to you. No, I have it, I have it, I just can't make it bigger. Oh, here it is. Here it is. That's good. Give me some volume.

Narrator 35:22 What?

Joe Rogan 35:22 Look at that.

Theo Von 35:23 Oh.

Narrator 35:23 What is on my way? See these grizzly bear prints, man? Oh, goddamn. Look at these motherfuckers, dude. They're as big as my foot. These are fucking huge.

Joe Rogan 35:32 (laughs)

Narrator 35:32 This is a massive fucking grizzly bear.

Joe Rogan 35:35 Look at that, dude.

Narrator 35:36 A massive fucking grizzly bear.

Joe Rogan 35:38 Look at that paw. That's crazy.

Narrator 35:40 You can even see... You don't know how wide it is.

Joe Rogan 35:42 Ooh.

Narrator 35:42 This is fucking a massive-ass grizzly bear. And as you see-

Theo Von 35:47 Where's it going?

Narrator 35:49 ... he walks right through there to those woods, so...

Theo Von 35:52 Probably over the mountain.

Narrator 35:53 We are in big-time grizzly bear territory.

Joe Rogan 35:57 Bro. That's so sketchy.

Theo Von 36:00 That's cool.

Narrator 36:00 So...

Joe Rogan 36:01 That's so sketchy. He sent me that. Yeah, 'cause I was like, "What are you doing?" And he sends me that. (laughs) "This is what I'm doing."

Theo Von 36:10 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 36:11 (laughs)

Theo Von 36:11 Other people are like, "I'm watching football."

Joe Rogan 36:12 Right. (laughs)

Theo Von 36:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:14 He's like, "I just fucking parachuted into grizzly country."

Theo Von 36:17 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 36:18 Oh, man. There's nothing scarier than, than big animals like that. Nothing scarier.

Theo Von 36:24 I get the most scared, honestly, in my life, um... When I was young they had, like, a lot of pedophiles in our area, and I think that kind of, like, made me nervous, but probably being in the ocean.

Joe Rogan 36:33 You had a lot of pedophiles in your neighborhood?

Theo Von 36:36 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:36 Like, how many?

Theo Von 36:39 I mean, I think at least three is enough for, like, a small area.

Joe Rogan 36:42 Three's more than enough?

Theo Von 36:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:44 How come nobody did anything about it?

Theo Von 36:46 They did. I mean, they put them in our neighborhood. Or, like-

Joe Rogan 36:49 (laughs)

Theo Von 36:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:50 That's not what I mean. I mean, how come nobody arrested them? How come-

Theo Von 36:53 Oh, they've been arrested. Yeah. These were guys who were like, uh-

Joe Rogan 36:56 They were released?

Theo Von 36:57 Yeah. They used to have this thing. Remember when they had this... I wonder when that rule was. It was like the pedophiles had to go around door-to-door-

Joe Rogan 37:03 Oh, and let everybody know?

Theo Von 37:04 No, they were pedophiles, right?

Joe Rogan 37:05 Right. That was a law that they passed. You had to alert people that a sex offender had moved into the neighborhood.

Theo Von 37:10 Well, we lived... Our mom worked all the time, and we were just at home all the time. So you'd have pedophiles literally come to the door.

Joe Rogan 37:15 And let you know?

Theo Von 37:16 Yeah. And they'd be like, "Is your mom home?" We'd be like, "No." And they're like, "Well, I'm a pedophile." (laughs) You're like, "Well..." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:20 (laughs) That's a problem.

Theo Von 37:22 Yeah. Come back after 6:00, you know?

Joe Rogan 37:24 (laughs)

Theo Von 37:24 Uh... But, so it was just crazy. Like, you know? But then at least you did know who the people were.

Joe Rogan 37:30 Yeah.

Theo Von 37:30 But it was definitely weird that you're setting... And they, they don't live in nice neighborhoods. You, you know, like now there's a lot of, like, billionaire pedophiles that our government protects and stuff. But back then-

Joe Rogan 37:40 You really think so?

Theo Von 37:41 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 37:42 I don't know either. That's what makes me nervous. I don't know.

Theo Von 37:48 I mean, they just had that thing that came out about the Trump-Epstein thing. That whole thing is just a kickball at this point, I feel like.

Joe Rogan 37:53 Bro, have you ever seen that video of me and Tim Dillon where Tim Dillon is laying out the scandal that took place in, like... Was it the 1970s, Jamie?

Narrator 38:01 The Franklin scandal.

Joe Rogan 38:02 The Franklin scandal? What year was that?

Narrator 38:04 I think in the '80s and '90s.

Joe Rogan 38:06 Bro.

Theo Von 38:07 We all dressed up like astronauts or is... Was that that one?

Joe Rogan 38:09 Me and Tim Dillon?

Theo Von 38:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:10 No. No, we were dressed normal.

Theo Von 38:11 Okay.

Joe Rogan 38:12 He... I don't even think he had the crazy glasses on back then. That was before he was protecting his eyes.

Theo Von 38:17 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 38:17 Now he protects his eyes.

Narrator 38:19 It came out in '88.

Joe Rogan 38:19 '88. Play that video. I sent it to you, right? This video's nuts, man. This was... Tim laid this out quite a while ago, and I kinda forgot about it until it popped up on my feed. I was like, "Oh, shit." Then I sent... I can send it back to you if you need me to.

Theo Von 38:31 Thank God for Tim Dillon.

Joe Rogan 38:33 Oh, my God. He's the best. There's never been a better ranter ever, in the history of ranting.

Theo Von 38:37 Ever.

Joe Rogan 38:38 Ever.

Theo Von 38:38 Same too. I bet there was somebody a long time ago that was good, but we don't have enough of his work to really compete against Tim.

Joe Rogan 38:43 He's the funniest, by far. He's the most sarcastic, the most tongue-in-cheek, and the most well-read.

Theo Von 38:49 Yes.

Joe Rogan 38:50 The thing about Tim Dillon is, like, he doesn't just go with narratives because he, um, thinks that you want him to say certain things.

Theo Von 38:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:57 You know what I mean? Like, he's very, very well-read. And he forms his opinions based on facts and then turns it into humor.

Theo Von 39:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:06 He's the fucking man. Play this.

Narrator 39:08 Scandal was a... It was a scandal out of Omaha, Nebraska at a Franklin Credit Union where there was-

Theo Von 39:13 Oh.

Narrator 39:13 ... a guy who was embezzling money, and then he was being investigated for that, but they said he's... Well, he has all this money because he's running an interstate pedophile network and he's pandering kids to, you know, people in Washington DC and New York. And there was a headline in The Washington Post or The Washington Times that were like, "Call Boys Get a Tour of the Reagan White House."

39:30 Unidentified White House aides in the Carter, Reagan, and Bush administrations now are being investigated for using the services of a call boy ring. The paper reports that two of the male prostitutes were given a late-night tour of the White House last year.

39:43 And, you know, this was a scandal with real victims who wanted to testify and then people started dying. You know, the private investigator they hired, his plane broke up. Uh, one of the girls that, uh, t- testified was found guilty of perjury and then she was put in solitary confinement. They had to use two grand juries in Omaha to get rid of this scandal. And it's one of... Now, it's not as sexy as, like, a Pizzagate or something because this happened in the '80s and '90s, but this shows you the blueprint for the government, you know, using... Marshaling resources to, to silence people that were victims of this stuff. This is not new. Congressmen, senators, blackmail being used by intelligence agencies, none of it's new. It was pioneered by the mafia. You having sex with somebody who's underage, then they own you forever if they have photo/audio/video of you doing that.

Joe Rogan 40:31 Wild. Wild. So if that existed at all in the 1990s-

Theo Von 40:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:37 ... okay? That Mitch McConnell guy was around back then, you know? A lot of these Nancy Pelosi type people, they've been around since the... There's photos of Nancy Pelosi with JFK. Think of that.

Theo Von 40:48 Mm.

Joe Rogan 40:48 That was before we didn't go to the moon.

Theo Von 40:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:51 It was 1963.

Theo Von 40:52 That was before Israel didn't kill him.

Joe Rogan 40:54 (laughs) You think so?

Theo Von 40:56 I didn't say anything.

Joe Rogan 40:56 I heard you say Israel killed him.

Theo Von 40:58 You did?

Joe Rogan 40:59 That's what I heard. Maybe it's-

Theo Von 40:59 Jamie, did you put something in this?

Joe Rogan 41:01 They didn't. The glasses, they didn't do it. Oh, before Israel didn't do it.

Theo Von 41:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:04 Oh, I see what you did. I think, uh-

Theo Von 41:07 I didn't say anything.

Joe Rogan 41:08 I think Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.

Theo Von 41:11 Lee Harvey Oswald went to my middle school. Do you know that?

Joe Rogan 41:12 No.

Theo Von 41:13 Yep.

Joe Rogan 41:14 What? No shit. Was there a plaque?

Theo Von 41:17 Uh... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:19 (laughs)

Theo Von 41:19 No, we did have a thing. There was a thing.

Joe Rogan 41:21 Where everybody recognized-

Theo Von 41:23 LHO, yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:24 Ugh.

Theo Von 41:25 And they made-

Joe Rogan 41:25 LHO?

Theo Von 41:26 Lee Harvey Oswald-

Joe Rogan 41:27 That's what you guys called him?

Theo Von 41:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:29 Like L. Ron Hubbard?

Theo Von 41:30 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:31 (laughs) LHR. They all salute... L. Ron Hubbard salutes LHR with the big... Ever see Tom Cruise with a big pie plate medal? He got a medal for being the most awesome guy ever.

Theo Von 41:40 He did? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:41 Yeah, from Scientology. And he salutes the photo of, of (laughs) a science fiction writer. Bro, it's the kookiest thing you've ever seen.

Theo Von 41:49 A pie plate? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:50 Bro, they-

Theo Von 41:50 Does he even... Has he even... He eats dessert.

Joe Rogan 41:51 Have you ever seen those Scientology awards?

Theo Von 41:54 Nuh-uh.

Joe Rogan 41:55 They're amazing.

Theo Von 41:56 I can't see him eating a lot of desserts really. He's staying healthy.

Joe Rogan 41:59 They're amazing. They were amazing.

Theo Von 42:00 Uh-uh. I didn't even know that.

Joe Rogan 42:01 Look at that. Look at that pie plate.

Narrator 42:01 These are the times.

Joe Rogan 42:02 Look at this.

Narrator 42:03 Okay? These are the times we will all remember. Were you there? What did you do? I think you know that I am there for you, and I do care so very, very, very much.

Theo Von 42:24 What is this about? Is this a Marie Callender's ad? (audience laughter)

Joe Rogan 42:26 Bro, what this is, is amazing. Just watch this.

Theo Von 42:29 Okay, sorry.

Narrator 42:30 Here's where Karen got it. (audience laughter) Joe LRH.

Joe Rogan 42:37 To LRH. (audience cheer)

Theo Von 42:38 Wow.

Joe Rogan 42:39 (laughs)

Theo Von 42:41 (laughs) Crazy, right?

Joe Rogan 42:44 Bro, you want a Mission Impossible guy? You want that guy? That's what you get.

Theo Von 42:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:48 Okay, you don't get a normal dude who's that good at acting. You get a fucking crazy person-

Theo Von 42:54 Who's that good at being himself.

Joe Rogan 42:55 ... with a pie plate around his neck-

Theo Von 42:56 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 42:56 ... a golden pie plate for being the most awesome guy ever. (laughs)

Theo Von 43:00 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:01 And he salutes-

Theo Von 43:02 (laughs) .

Joe Rogan 43:02 ... a science fiction author, who's, by the way, one of the worst writers in the history of writing.

Theo Von 43:06 L. Ron? I've done-

Joe Rogan 43:07 Oh.

Theo Von 43:07 ... that thing in New York where they try to electrocute you and see if you care about 'em or whatever.

Joe Rogan 43:10 Oh, I, I got that. I did that.

Theo Von 43:11 You know what I'm talking about?

Joe Rogan 43:11 I did that in San Diego.

Theo Von 43:12 You did?

Joe Rogan 43:13 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Theo Von 43:14 When?

Joe Rogan 43:14 I was filming a TV show down there. And, uh, you know, we were in the middle of a break while we were filming. And, um, they had, like, a, a conference table set up.

Theo Von 43:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:23 It was, like, free personality test. (clears throat) And I was like, "What is this?" And I kinda knew what it was. I knew it was Dianetics, you know, which is Scientology.

Theo Von 43:31 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 43:31 But the guy was, like ... They made him do it. You could tell he was, like, not enthusiastic at all about it. And, you know, he would, like, ask you questions about, like, "Has one of your pets died?" Like, that kind of shit.

Theo Von 43:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:42 And he would, like... He'd hold his e-meter and it would dec- ... I'm like, "How's this work?" Like, "What is, what is actually making this happen?"

Theo Von 43:47 (coughs)

Joe Rogan 43:47 You know, I had all these questions that he had no answers for. (laughs)

Theo Von 43:50 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:50 It just is. And then I started, uh, I started-

Theo Von 43:52 Of course you did. That's your whole life.

Joe Rogan 43:54 L. Ron Hubbard wrote more fiction-

Theo Von 43:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:58 ... than any human being that's ever lived.

Theo Von 44:00 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 44:00 He remote- wrote more things that were not true, more published fiction-

Theo Von 44:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:06 ... than any human being in the history of all human beings.

Theo Von 44:10 My God.

Joe Rogan 44:10 That guy, the guy that created Scientology. And you know how he did it? It was all terrible. He never wrote a second draft. Everything was just nonsense.

Theo Von 44:20 One hit wonder?

Joe Rogan 44:21 One hit wonder.

Theo Von 44:22 Just out-

Joe Rogan 44:22 Just star-

Theo Von 44:23 That's kind of brave, though.

Joe Rogan 44:24 ... type and ... Uh, brave? He was nuts. He was out of his mind.

Theo Von 44:27 But people liked it enough, though.

Joe Rogan 44:29 Did you ever see that show? They didn't, though. He wasn't successful until he really started ... I mean, he was. He did a lot of those, like, goofy magazines and stuff. This is a long time ago-

Theo Von 44:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:37 ... you gotta realize. But then, once he started a religion, that's when things took off. That's when, like, started making money, gave himself a lot of b- ... He gave himself a bunch of awards, too. You ever see, like, he had a j- ... Oh, he wore a jacket and he had, like, all these awards on his chest that he had given himself.

Theo Von 44:54 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:54 (laughs)

Theo Von 44:54 That is crazy. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:56 They love to give awards over there.

Theo Von 44:57 That's like the Golden Globes or whatever.

Joe Rogan 44:58 Yeah, same thing.

Theo Von 44:59 You know?

Joe Rogan 45:00 They just ... (laughs) Yeah.

Theo Von 45:00 (laughs) It really is.

Joe Rogan 45:04 They give themselves awards for being the most awesome people.

Theo Von 45:07 How cra- ... I mean, that whole ... It's all fucking ridiculous.

Joe Rogan 45:09 Weird.

Theo Von 45:10 But that's what I feel. I feel like all of these u- balls of yarn that used to feel like they made so much sense-

Joe Rogan 45:16 Uh-huh.

Theo Von 45:16 ... and they kept us warm and they gave us senses of purpose, I feel like all of them are becoming unraveled. But it makes me wonder what's gonna happen now? Are we ... Because these are a lot of the things that have felt like some of the blueprints of our existence, you know?

Joe Rogan 45:28 Well, you know what makes me nervous? P-

Theo Von 45:29 Does it make any sense to you, when I say that?

Joe Rogan 45:31 Yes.

Theo Von 45:31 Okay.

Joe Rogan 45:31 100%. But-

Theo Von 45:32 'Cause that's kind of what I'm, guess I'm most scared about. I think, like, even this year, it's, like, some of my sense of, like, purpose or, like ... I just worry that other people don't have a sense of purpose or what's going on, and it makes me kinda scared sometimes.

Joe Rogan 45:42 Well, that's a, a good perspective, and I think it's accurate. Um, what makes me nervous is the people that are not aware that all of our assumptions of how the government works were all based on bullshit. The people that still believe, that are, like, c- true believers of one side or the other, true faith in government and experts, those people make me more nervous, 'cause some of 'em are smart. That's what's crazy. When smart people are completely unwilling to recognize that conspiracies are not just real, but they're also not rare. They're v- they're very common. They're common, and people get away with them.

Theo Von 46:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:23 Especially when they're in positions of extreme power, like running intelligence agencies. Like, they ... And there's a lot of things that they do that are morally reprehensible but totally legal. (laughs) Like, they can do it, because they're allowed to, because they are a three-letter organization and they have ultimate power to do a lot of, like, really gross things that are in the nature o- or in the, uh, the interest of national security. So, like, this is the whole idea behind it. They say, like, "This is our, our decision. This is the best move for national security."

Theo Von 46:56 Well-

Joe Rogan 46:56 "This is how we compromise assets, this is how we gather information, this is how we keep America safe."

Theo Von 47:01 But, are ... They're not ... Uh, are F- ... Why is it, are FBI and CIA are working against us? That's what it feels like. They're just tricking us about every- ... It feels like-

Joe Rogan 47:09 They're tricking some people, um, on purpose-

Theo Von 47:11 But, but why-

Joe Rogan 47:12 Right?

Theo Von 47:12 ... is, why is that even their goal? Like, I thought that they-

Joe Rogan 47:15 Because they're-

Theo Von 47:15 ... could think-

Joe Rogan 47:15 ... trying to arrest people. So, this is the problem with your career. Like, uh, and this has been explained to me by a lot of people that are experts and people that know. John Kiriakou explained it this way. Your, your reputation is based on how successful you have been arresting people, cracking cases.

Theo Von 47:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:32 And so people set up cases so they can break 'em.

Theo Von 47:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:35 They basically set up an escape room, and they're like, "I know how to get outta here." (laughs)

Theo Von 47:40 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:41 And they pretend that they're just, like, a regular wizard that stumbled-

Theo Von 47:45 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:45 ... into the escape room. But no, you set the whole thing up.

Theo Von 47:47 Yeah. That's what it is. Well, it's the same as, like-

Joe Rogan 47:49 Just a bunch of those stories.

Theo Von 47:51 Oh, I think it's the same as even with, like, Hollywood and ... You know, I remember one day I was walking in the Century City Mall over there, it's in Los Angeles, it's off of Santa Monica Boulevard.

Joe Rogan 48:00 Mm-hmm.

Theo Von 48:01 And there was a, uh, like a blue-collar guy walking by. He had on, like, his, uh ... He was working construction, they were building something there. And I was like ... He's like, "Theo, what's up, man?" So, we're talking for a minute, and I was like, "What are y'all building?" He's like, "Dude, you're never even gonna believe this. We're building ..." He's like, "10, 10 floors," it's a 20th-f- floor building, he's like, "10 floors are, uh, uh, talent agency, and the other 10 floors are for the CIA."And I was like, "What?" I was like, "Just in the same building, just happened to be, that's where you're building?" He's like, "Yep. That's what we're building." And, uh, he wasn't ly- I don't, I don't think he was lying to me. It just seemed like a cr- it was just like-

Joe Rogan 48:35 Weird mixture. Yeah.

Theo Von 48:37 Right. But I think that this starts to happen. News stories get created, right?

Joe Rogan 48:41 Yeah.

Theo Von 48:42 Things get f- whether they're fiction or whatever goes on, you don't even know a lot of times what's news stories. You can send actors out to create a scene. You'll see a video, you believe it. Um, and then they make movie-

Joe Rogan 48:52 That's been done before.

Theo Von 48:53 Right. And then-

Joe Rogan 48:53 That's been done before.

Theo Von 48:54 Oh, yeah. There was, it, but- but- but then you see movies and stuff come out later about it.

Joe Rogan 48:59 Uh-huh.

Theo Von 48:59 So, it's like you're almost creating your own, um-

Joe Rogan 49:01 Right.

Theo Von 49:01 ... news to then make like a, uh, based on a real story.

Joe Rogan 49:04 Uh-huh.

Theo Von 49:05 You know what I'm talking about?

Joe Rogan 49:05 Well, yeah. (laughs)

Theo Von 49:06 Like, it's all this, uh-

Joe Rogan 49:07 I guess, (laughs) yeah. Like they- they let the talent agencies know that they're about to do this, so they can start casting-

Theo Von 49:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:13 ... the dramatic... (laughs)

Theo Von 49:14 It makes sense 'cause it's like then you're just, you're...

Joe Rogan 49:17 Uh, oh, God.

Theo Von 49:18 But it just, like, what do we do? You know?

Joe Rogan 49:21 Well, they've been doing this forever. They've been doing this forever.

Theo Von 49:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:24 And, you know, they've been shaping our views of war. And, you know, that's one of the reasons why they started making all these war movies. Do you know that?

Theo Von 49:33 Mm-mm.

Joe Rogan 49:33 Okay. So in World War I, one of the problems that they had was people didn't wanna be over there killing people.

Theo Von 49:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:40 And so people were shooting, but they weren't shooting at the actual enemy. They would like shoot over their heads, or shoot-

Theo Von 49:48 Oh.

Joe Rogan 49:48 ... to the left of them or to the right of them. They didn't wanna kill people. And they realized like that you take people, just regular people from the city and from the farm, and put them in a uniform and tell them they have to go kill people. This is no YouTube back then, no television back then, right? So, their ideas of what's right and wrong are all based on their life.

Theo Von 50:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:09 Their actual life. And so then they realize, well, we've gotta do something about that. And so after that, they started creating all these really patriotic war movies, where the guys are heroes, they go over and they shoot all the bad guys, and then they're awesome. So then the next group of people that go to war are all gonna be indoctrinated with these films.

Theo Von 50:26 Right.

Joe Rogan 50:26 And these films are that America's the best, and we're number one, and we're gonna go over there, and this is how you get all the girls. You be a fucking hero and go over there and shoot those Germans. Da-da-da-da-na-na-na.

Theo Von 50:35 Yeah, and come back and play with a tit.

Joe Rogan 50:36 Yeah, exactly.

Theo Von 50:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:37 Come back and get ridden like a fucking cowboy.

Theo Von 50:40 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 50:41 Yeah. Woo.

Theo Von 50:41 The tits will be here when you get off the boat.

Joe Rogan 50:44 Let's go ............................

Theo Von 50:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:45 Um.

Theo Von 50:45 Baby girl.

Joe Rogan 50:46 And that's, uh, that's what they did. They- they-

Theo Von 50:49 I can see that.

Joe Rogan 50:49 And I mean-

Theo Von 50:50 Makes sense.

Joe Rogan 50:51 For sure. And it was also like-

Theo Von 50:52 'Cause it's almost like you're advertising.

Joe Rogan 50:54 The CIA and, you know, various federal organizations have a say in how America's portrayed in movies, right? It's like if you're gonna get access to... If you're gonna do some film on-

Theo Von 51:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:05 ... the, you know, the Pentagon or something like that, you, you bet- bitch, this better been make us look good. You know they're not gonna let you make them look like a bunch of bumbling fucking retards that are just doing it for their career. No, you better make us look good. You can't fake what the Pentagon is, bitch.

Theo Von 51:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:20 You know? And you're like, "Okay, sir."

Theo Von 51:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:21 "What tell me how you'd like-"

Theo Von 51:23 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:23 "... Mr. Cruz to talk about his work." And you know, you'd make them look like the most awesome human beings that have ever been... So that way, you like, you wanna support them, you wanna fund them, and you wanna listen to them when they're talking on the news.

Theo Von 51:34 Well, uh, i- uh, in a lot of like the projects, I think they have to have people from these organizations that come and like oversee how the organization is presented, right?

Joe Rogan 51:42 Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Theo Von 51:43 So it's like if you wanna do something where the Navy's involved, you have to have people there from the Navy that are like overseeing it and making sure that everything is, uh, presented, um, to, you know, to be true to the Navy, but also like there could be maybe some mani- manipulation there. But we just had Gary Sinise on the podcast, man. It was really cool.

Joe Rogan 52:01 Oh, he's cool.

Theo Von 52:02 Dude. If you ever wanna donate to something where people do, man, what an just an impressive, his whole organization is.

Joe Rogan 52:09 What is he doing?

Theo Von 52:10 Well, he does a lot of stuff for veterans, right? He does a lot of stuff for first responders, you know, or EMTs.

Joe Rogan 52:15 Mm-hmm.

Theo Von 52:16 Um, he does a lot of stuff for, um, he does this thing where they take kids who have lost a fa- a parent to the, in, uh, military action. Um, he takes them to Disney World every year, like this big group of them, you know. Um, just, uh, but just like really like does it, you know?

Joe Rogan 52:38 Mm-hmm.

Theo Von 52:38 Like he has a band that plays. He- he- there's a bunch of organizations. He was like one of the first responders of, um, out there feeding people, uh, feeding the first responders who were there at the Palisades when that happened.

Joe Rogan 52:48 Mm-hmm.

Theo Von 52:48 Just like a lot of neat stuff, you know?

Joe Rogan 52:50 Did you ever-

Theo Von 52:50 Big heart. Big heart.

Joe Rogan 52:50 Did you ever think you'd be in the position you're in where you're just having all these weird conversations with interesting people? 'Cause this is not like-

Theo Von 52:58 No.

Joe Rogan 52:58 When I first met you, I would have never suspected that this would be a path that you would go down.

Theo Von 53:04 Yeah, not at all.

Joe Rogan 53:05 You know, it's interesting that you went down that. Like how, what- what led you to want to start doing that?

Theo Von 53:11 Well, I think a couple of things. I think, um... Well, I think I- I didn't know I was kind of competitive in some ways.

Joe Rogan 53:18 Mm-hmm.

Theo Von 53:19 You know, like I think, um, I think I'm kind of competitive. Like I want to see what's possible that's maybe inside of me, you know.

Joe Rogan 53:28 Mm-hmm. So competitive with yourself or competitive with other people that are also doing it?

Theo Von 53:32 Um, just competitive 'cause I think I- I- I, there was, I- I felt like maybe some people thought this thing like, "Oh, this guy can't do it."

Joe Rogan 53:40 Oh, interesting.

Theo Von 53:41 You know? I don't think that's... I think there were some people that are maybe like, "Oh, I'm surprised that this guy enjoys this or likes doing it," but I think there was like... Yeah, that this guy can't do it. And I just never had a voice when I was a kid, you know?

Joe Rogan 53:55 Mm-hmm.

Theo Von 53:55 I never had a voice.

Joe Rogan 53:57 Right.

Theo Von 53:58 Like, you know, so much of my childhood, I think I just couldn't even speak up for myself. I didn't even know what I wanted to say. I didn't even know what my feelings were, right? I just-

Joe Rogan 54:05 Right.

Theo Von 54:05 I was just like this... I just, it- it just felt tough, you know?

Joe Rogan 54:11 Yeah.

Theo Von 54:11 And so I think when... Yeah, when I started to kind of get into podcasting and have a little bit more of a voice, and then...... to get to talk to some people that are, that, that, that I felt like were important that weren't getting voices.

Joe Rogan 54:24 Mm-hmm.

Theo Von 54:24 Like even, like we had a doctor from Gaza on last year, or this year, and that was like a moment for me. I was like, "Oh, this is important stuff."

Joe Rogan 54:32 Mm-hmm.

Theo Von 54:33 You know? Like, um, other people aren't putting this voice out there, right? Some people are.

Joe Rogan 54:37 Right.

Theo Von 54:37 But like, the mainstream media, I don't feel like was doing a good job of it.

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Theo Von 56:08 And it just like-

Joe Rogan 56:08 Well, that's not what they do. You know? I mean, the, the reason why we can do what we do is 'cause there's not really anyone over there doing ... They never figured this out before. They never figured out that, hey, there's a lot of people that are in their car for hours every day. They're on the train for hours every day. They're in the gym. They're doing different stuff where they wanna listen to things. Or when they come home, they don't wanna watch late night TV, they wanna watch an interesting conversation, you know?

Theo Von 56:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:33 And that just, they didn't know that that was a thing. That's all that was. We snuck in. I think we snuck in. I think they had no idea. They thought this was just shitty radio.

Theo Von 56:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:43 You know?

Theo Von 56:44 And I think my whole life, I think people looked at me and thought, "Oh, this dude's just fucking shitty radio."

Joe Rogan 56:48 (laughs) But in the beginning-

Theo Von 56:50 Or I felt like that in a way, you know?

Joe Rogan 56:51 Well, I think, like when was the first time-

Theo Von 56:52 And I still think it is. My show, I mean, look. W- I feel lucky to have a show. We work hard, you know, with podcasting. I feel lucky to get to talk to a lot of people. I don't think we do a lot of information type of stuff. You know, and I wish we could do better with that sometimes. I think maybe that's a goal of mine next year is to try to learn more stuff just in the day-to-day so I can have conversations that are maybe more important. But then also, maybe that's not what I'm supposed to do, and I'm just supposed to be just having conversations that are fun, and so for-

Joe Rogan 57:18 Well, I th- it's what you're supposed to do if that's what you wanna do. What, what I think is the only important thing, the only important thing-

Theo Von 57:25 Is what you wanna do.

Joe Rogan 57:26 ... is, yeah, and-

Theo Von 57:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:27 ... to be genuinely curious about whatever you're talking about.

Theo Von 57:31 I agree.

Joe Rogan 57:31 You know, and then hopefully be talking to someone who's telling the truth. That's where it gets weird.

Theo Von 57:35 Mm.

Joe Rogan 57:36 Now, sometimes people will be charismatic and they'll be very persuasive, but it, it turns out they have an agenda and they're not telling the truth. And y- you might not know that. That, that becomes a problem.

Theo Von 57:47 Yeah, I've realized that.

Joe Rogan 57:48 Because there's been-

Theo Von 57:48 Some people are taking advantage of the fact that, uh-

Joe Rogan 57:50 Mm-hmm.

Theo Von 57:50 ... that they'll come on and I, I, I sometimes have been a little bit naive to think that somebody would do that, but people do do that.

Joe Rogan 57:55 Oh, 100%. Like heads of state, you know? Like if you're gonna have someone who's the president of a country that's in the middle of a war and they wanna come on your podcast and talk, you're not, you're gonna, you're not gonna get anything objective. You're gonna get them selling that they're the good guys. And, uh, that's weird. That's a weird one. Because unless you're an absolute expert in what is going on in that region, and you know exactly what's true and what's not, and there's two very compelling and very loud narratives, you know, good luck. Good luck sorting out that conversation. I'm not interested in having those conversations.

Theo Von 58:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:28 But I am interested in n- having conversations with people that I've, I've, that I think are intriguing. You know, that I think are being honest. And, uh, whether I agree with them or not, they're being honest, and they're intriguing. That's what I like.

Theo Von 58:41 Yeah. Yeah, and I think some of that is me learning a little bit more. I mean, I think I do like having stuff where people have more feelings in their stories about stuff, you know? So that's something that I would maybe like to focus on more next year. Like people's genuine j- genuine human experiences, you know?

Joe Rogan 58:55 Mm-hmm.

Theo Von 58:55 Like s- a guy or a woman or a kid, it's somebody who's been through something, you know?

Joe Rogan 58:58 Right.

Theo Von 58:58 And wants to share some of that.

Joe Rogan 59:00 Right.

Theo Von 59:00 So maybe that's something I'll try to get into a little bit more. Um, I don't know. But yeah, I just feel lucky. Like, my mom listens to my podcast every week.

Joe Rogan 59:07 (laughs)

Theo Von 59:08 You know? And we never got to spend any time together when I was a kid, so sometimes that kinda even keeps me going, you know?

Joe Rogan 59:12 Man.

Theo Von 59:13 It's like, she's like our biggest fan, and so it's weird.

Joe Rogan 59:16 That's gotta make her proud.

Theo Von 59:18 Yo, it's just so weird. When I was a kid, like, she didn't have any time, and then now she just like, you know-

Joe Rogan 59:21 Has a lot of time.

Theo Von 59:22 She loves it. Yeah. So.

Joe Rogan 59:23 Yeah.

Theo Von 59:23 I think, yeah. I don't know. And it's like, just afforded me a lot of like, f- just neat opportunities. Yeah, sometimes talking to people. Like, we got to learn about like, the healthcare last year, and how, you know, a l- a lot of these political parties have put forward these um, like um, like these presidential ... What's it called when they sign something like this as an order, like an executive order?

Joe Rogan 59:45 Mm-hmm.

Theo Von 59:46 Right? That price transparency needs to happen with healthcare, right?

Joe Rogan 59:50 Right.

Theo Von 59:50 And so that was something that I realized was super important to me, because I think Bernie Sanders agrees with it, Trump agrees with it, uh, Thomas Massie agrees with it, Ro Khanna agrees with it. There's all these people that say they agree with it, and everybody says ... But it never really gets to where it needs to be, right? So y- you can go to a place and a hospital can charge you anything for an MRI, right?

Joe Rogan 1:00:11 Mm-hmm.

Theo Von 1:00:11 They're supposed to show their prices like a menu. And if they do that, then they have to compete. You could call two places. This person's like, "Well, it's 30,000 bucks," and this person's like, "No, it's 700 bucks." So you're gonna go there.

Joe Rogan 1:00:22 Right.

Theo Von 1:00:23 But they l- they keep it vague so they can like, keep the prices really high-

Joe Rogan 1:00:27 Mm-hmm.

Theo Von 1:00:27 ... and then they can keep this whole insurance rigamarole going on. And-

Joe Rogan 1:00:30 Well, they're private corporations. That's what's nuts. And the private companies own hospitals. They're private.... you know? And you-

Theo Von 1:00:38 So, that, that's probably why they can do it too.

Joe Rogan 1:00:39 ... you go there hoping-

Theo Von 1:00:40 Yeah, hoping that they're gonna be-

Joe Rogan 1:00:41 ... that they're there for your best interest.

Theo Von 1:00:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:42 What, they're there is to m- make the most money possible and to... And one of the ways they do that is they're incentivized to give you certain medications, financially. Financially incentivized to give you certain pharmaceutical products, and they make more money if they do that. I had Mary Talley Boden on the podcast, she's a respiratory, um, physician. And she, uh, doctor, whatever it is, um, she was saying that if she vaccinated all of her patients, she has a very small practice, if she vaccinated all of her patients for COVID, she would have made $1.5 million.

Theo Von 1:01:14 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:01:15 Like, that's, that's motivation. Like, that's not-

Theo Von 1:01:18 For sure.

Joe Rogan 1:01:19 ... someone's, someone's not gonna... They're not gonna give you objective advice. Unless they, they're a really good person like she is, they're not gonna give you objective advice. What they're gonna say is, "Hey, they say you should take it, I say you should take it too, because I wanna go to... I wanna go golfing."

Theo Von 1:01:33 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:34 (laughs)

Theo Von 1:01:35 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:35 "I want a BMW and I wanna go golfing, so take it."

Theo Von 1:01:38 Yeah. (laughs) "I don't care if you're in a fucking wheelchair in three weeks."

Joe Rogan 1:01:41 Yeah. "Fuck you."

Theo Von 1:01:41 "Had a mardo, myocarditis, fucking-"

Joe Rogan 1:01:43 "I want a M5."

Theo Von 1:01:45 Yeah, yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:45 "I've got it picked out already. I want the carbon interior." (laughs)

Theo Von 1:01:49 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:49 "Carbon fiber accents."

Theo Von 1:01:51 It's just... Yeah, so-

Joe Rogan 1:01:52 Yeah.

Theo Von 1:01:53 But like-

Joe Rogan 1:01:53 It's a trap.

Theo Von 1:01:54 It's a trap. But learning about like, that kind of stuff, like things like that used to be like, "Oh, this is a little cause that like means something to me," you know?

Joe Rogan 1:01:59 Yeah.

Theo Von 1:01:59 Because then you think, there are people probably right now that are afraid to go get healthcare because it... And all... Then it messes up your credit, right? Like-

Joe Rogan 1:02:07 Yeah.

Theo Von 1:02:07 ... the number one cause of bankruptcy in America is medical debt.

Joe Rogan 1:02:10 Yup. Yeah.

Theo Von 1:02:11 I think that's crazy.

Joe Rogan 1:02:13 It's crazy.

Theo Von 1:02:13 So now, you're in debt. And now, there's the stress of that. It's like-

Joe Rogan 1:02:17 Also, the problem is this system is so deeply intertwined in our society-

Theo Von 1:02:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:22 ... that to unwind it now and to somehow or another start some sort of competent social medicine... But then that's the other problem, is socialized medicine has not been effective anywhere. Like, everywhere else, like the difference between... It's really a difference between money. Like if you have money in America and you break your leg, you can go to a really good doctor and you get your leg fixed.

Theo Von 1:02:43 Break your leg. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:44 Right? If you have money an- if you're using... If you have socialized medicine and you're in England, for instance, I have a lot of friends in England that have, they use the socialized medicine there, they have it in Canada. Like my friend in Canada, it took her a year to get a knee reconstruction. And they did a terrible job of it. They r- repaired her ACL and she's still... She's fucked. She can't fully straighten her leg out.

Theo Von 1:03:03 Yeah, every time she fucking look, yeah, she just moonwalks everywhere.

Joe Rogan 1:03:06 She's got a limp, a noticeable limp.

Theo Von 1:03:08 Oh, damn.

Joe Rogan 1:03:09 And they just fucked it up. They did a shitty job. And you know, look, that could happen in America too, but you could get an operation quicker here. It, uh... But it's really just money. And the, the real problem with America is that you could have something really wrong with you and you have insurance, and then your insurance denies you coverage for what's wrong with you. Like Ben Askren. You know the story with Ben Askren?

Theo Von 1:03:34 Mm-hmm. I know he's been getting better, right?

Joe Rogan 1:03:36 He's been getting better. He had a double lung transplant. He had lung... And the insurance didn't cover it. How? How could you not cover that? Guy gets sick, it turns out he has a very rare, like, I think it was like a staph infection or some kind of bacterial infection that was eating his lungs.

Theo Von 1:03:55 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:03:55 So they had to put him on a respirator. He was on a respirator for a long time.

Theo Von 1:03:58 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:58 Then they had to give him a double lung transplant.

Theo Von 1:04:01 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:04:01 And insurance companies didn't cover it.

Theo Von 1:04:03 Yeah. It's like, what are you even there for? And then the stress. Imagine his wife probably, or h- him, he f- is in and out of consciousness. He has to call them probably. And just the stress of like, "We can't do it. Can you fill out these form..." Just, the, it's almost like they just wanna kill you with the stress. It's just-

Joe Rogan 1:04:18 They just wanna spend the least amount of money possible-

Theo Von 1:04:21 I know.

Joe Rogan 1:04:21 ... and make the most amount of money possible.

Theo Von 1:04:22 But when does it all end?

Joe Rogan 1:04:23 And UnitedHealthcare, there's something about UnitedHealthcare that's attached to this government shutdown bill too. The reason why they were shutting down the gov... It, there, there's something about the flow of money to UnitedHealthcare, which is, you know, that company where that guy got assassinated-

Theo Von 1:04:37 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:04:37 ... and everybody cheered, 'cause also, 'cause Luigi's kinda hot. Good looking guy.

Theo Von 1:04:42 I didn't, I didn't see it.

Joe Rogan 1:04:43 You didn't see Luigi?

Theo Von 1:04:44 No, I'm joking. Yeah, I thought he's looking pretty go-

Joe Rogan 1:04:45 Good looking.

Theo Von 1:04:45 I mean, he's fine, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:46 Handsome man.

Theo Von 1:04:46 I like, yeah. I like women.

Joe Rogan 1:04:48 Handsome hero.

Theo Von 1:04:48 Yeah, but still, handsome guy.

Joe Rogan 1:04:49 Well, I'm not saying you don't like women, but-

Theo Von 1:04:51 Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:04:51 ... you know. I'm not saying you fuck alligators, but you know what one looks like.

Theo Von 1:04:55 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:55 Come on, dog.

Theo Von 1:04:56 (laughs) You're right about that.

Joe Rogan 1:04:57 You know?

Theo Von 1:04:57 Good call. (laughs) "Hey, I ain't gay, but I'll hold it in my mouth till the gay guy gets there." You heard that?

Joe Rogan 1:05:01 You know, if I told you, I go, if I told you it's a alligator, you wouldn't be like, "Bro, I'm not gay."

Theo Von 1:05:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:05 You would say, "Yes, it is an alligator."

Theo Von 1:05:07 You mean, but-

Joe Rogan 1:05:08 You know?

Theo Von 1:05:08 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:09 You know what I'm saying?

Theo Von 1:05:09 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:09 Like, I'm saying, "Luigi's handsome," and you're like, "I'm not gay." And I'm like, "That's not what I asked."

Theo Von 1:05:14 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:05:15 I asked you if you can see things.

Theo Von 1:05:17 (laughs) Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:17 "Take those fucking shitty fake glasses off." (laughs)

Theo Von 1:05:19 Well, I-

Joe Rogan 1:05:20 "Maybe you could tell Luigi's a handsome man."

Theo Von 1:05:22 ... can't tell if they're helping or not. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:05:24 You know, the... A lot of people think that M- Luigi was like some M- MKUltra thing.

Theo Von 1:05:28 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:05:29 That they, they tricked him and hypnotized him and got him to go in and shoot that guy.

Theo Von 1:05:33 Well, I think there's a lot of that going on. And yes, I did have dinner at Candace Owens' house recently, so maybe... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:05:38 (laughs)

Theo Von 1:05:39 You know? I, I have... There's definitely, you know, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:05:42 You're conspiratorial?

Theo Von 1:05:43 A lot of conspiratorial foods on the menu over there, you know?

Joe Rogan 1:05:46 Really?

Theo Von 1:05:46 Uh, I don't know if I'd say that. I mean, they had like an unvaccinated quail with like an MRNA demi glaze, so maybe.

Joe Rogan 1:05:52 Wah, wah, wah.

Theo Von 1:05:53 You know? Kind of? You think?

Joe Rogan 1:05:55 Bro, they're trying to vaccinate cows, do you know about that?

Theo Von 1:05:57 They, oh.

Joe Rogan 1:05:58 They're trying to give cows MRNA vaccines.

Theo Von 1:06:00 Are they really?

Joe Rogan 1:06:01 Yeah. They're just trying to use the technology to make money. If you really think they're doing it to protect the cows, you're outta your fucking mind.

Theo Von 1:06:07 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:06:07 And any of this stuff is just about money. Cows are fine. There's nothing wrong with the cows. The cows are fucking fine.

Theo Von 1:06:12 Why are they even doing that then?

Joe Rogan 1:06:13 Let the cows eat grass, they'll be even