Joe Rogan Experience #2413 - Theo Von

Theo Von is a comic and host of the podcast "This Past Weekend with Theo Von." https://www.theovon.com https://www.youtube.com/theovon Perplexity: Download the app or ask Perplexity anything at https://pplx.ai/rogan. Visible. Live in the know. Join today at https://www.visible.com Visit https://blinds.com. 40% off your purchase with code ROGAN40

Joe RoganhostTheo Vonguest

Nov 18, 20252h 54mWatch on YouTube ↗

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150 min read · 30,033 words

0:00 – 2:30
Glasses banter, vision changes, and red-light therapy claims
1. JRJoe Rogan
  (drumming music) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
2. TVTheo Von
  The Joe Rogan Experience.
3. NANarrator
  Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music) Who, me?
4. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
5. TVTheo Von
  Yeah, you. Sorry, I didn't know you were talking-
6. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
7. TVTheo Von
  ... talking to one of them-
8. JRJoe Rogan
  There's only three of us in here.
9. TVTheo Von
  (laughs) Yeah. Are there?
10. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
11. TVTheo Von
  I don't know, dude.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  With the glasses, man. What's the s- new sophisticated look?
13. TVTheo Von
  Yeah, I got them.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  What's going on? I- I- I see. I see, you got them.
15. TVTheo Von
  Yeah, they're great, man. My buddy, Joseph, gave it to- gave them to me. I got them from him.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
17. TVTheo Von
  Yeah, and they're popping. And they help, too.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah?
19. TVTheo Von
  Yeah.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  You losing your vision?
21. TVTheo Von
  (smacks lips) Mm.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  Mm.
23. TVTheo Von
  I don't think so, but I think these just make it even better.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  Okay. Let me see. Let me try them-
25. TVTheo Von
  Yeah.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  ... and see how bad your eyes are.
27. TVTheo Von
  Try them on, big dog.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, barely.
29. TVTheo Von
  I could get them weighted too, so you could do a neck workout while you have them on.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  Why would you do that? This is, uh ... my God, I can't, I can't tell the difference. Are you sure these are real?
2:30 – 3:30
Sauna routines vs. online optimization culture
1. TVTheo Von
  I've been doing sauna, and I've been getting in there. It feels good. I feel like a little dumpling when I get out of there.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, yeah. It's good.
3. TVTheo Von
  Yeah.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  Right?
5. TVTheo Von
  Yeah, it feels good. Yeah.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  Get that body all heated up-
7. TVTheo Von
  (grunts)
8. JRJoe Rogan
  ... and everything just kind of flows out of you. I saw a protocol of what you're supposed to do before you get in there, and I've never done any of these things. But it's like, how much water are you supposed to drink before you go in.
9. TVTheo Von
  Fuck all that, dude.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  Like 45 minutes-
11. TVTheo Von
  I pray and get in.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  ... you're supposed to go, you're supposed to drink, uh, like a liter of water with electrolytes and some magnesium. I don't know. Some guy made this ... That's the problem. Like, everybody's an online guru.
13. TVTheo Von
  Yeah, well, everybody, everything they watch, it's like they think you're trying to get in the Olympics. It's like, "Bitch-"
14. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
15. TVTheo Von
  "... I'm just trying to fucking get to work."
16. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
17. TVTheo Von
  You know what I'm saying, bitch? I'm just trying to fucking-
18. JRJoe Rogan
  I just want to feel a little bit better.
19. TVTheo Von
  Yeah, I'm just trying to-
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Just be-
21. TVTheo Von
  ... make it out of my garage, you know?
22. JRJoe Rogan
  ... get an edge.
23. TVTheo Von
  Yeah.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  Give me an edge on this cold, hard world.
25. TVTheo Von
  Yeah, that's the only thing, man.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  That's all I'm looking for.
27. TVTheo Von
  But good to see you, dude.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  Good to see you always, my friend.
29. TVTheo Von
  I'm glad you're still alive.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  You too. I'm glad you're still alive too.
3:30 – 6:43
Political parties, toeing the line, and a CBD/THC policy fight
1. JRJoe Rogan
  We both been interviewing dangerous people.
2. TVTheo Von
  Have we, you think?
3. JRJoe Rogan
  Uh, yeah. Yeah, definitely.
4. TVTheo Von
  You really have. (laughs)
5. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs) Who have I interviewed that you haven't that's more dangerous?
6. TVTheo Von
  Ooh, I don't know. That's a good question. I mean, I did ... (smacks lips) I don't ... (sighs) Yeah, I don't think I've had people that's that dangerous. Th- maybe Thomas Massie.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, did you have him on?
8. TVTheo Von
  Yeah.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, they all hate him right now. It's, uh, this is a sad thing about both political parties, not just the l- the right, but the left too, is they decide that they're gonna gang up on someone for not towing the line.
10. TVTheo Von
  Yeah.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  You know? Like, whatever happened to having different opinions? Whatever happened to having different perspectives and being able to argue your perspective?
12. TVTheo Von
  Yeah.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  But then they have these goofy ass bills. Which, by the way, they just fucking ... they slipped something into this last bill that, uh, Mitch McConnell guy did, I believe. Check, make sure that he did it. The hemp thing.
14. NANarrator
  Oh.
15. JRJoe Rogan
  They slipped this thing in where you can no longer buy CBD with like ... It has to be like the lowest trace amount of THC in it.
16. TVTheo Von
  Hmm.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  Which is, for a f- like, like my wife's mom, you know, she's a older lady, and she takes CBD for pain, for joints and stuff like that.
18. TVTheo Von
  Does she smoke it or she does the ointment?
19. JRJoe Rogan
  No, she takes like, uh, oil, like CBD oil.
20. TVTheo Von
  Mm-hmm.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, he snuck it in there.
22. TVTheo Von
  Oh, he's taking a hit of something. Look at his-
23. JRJoe Rogan
  That old fucking dead turtle? He's a leading proponent-
24. TVTheo Von
  (laughs)
25. JRJoe Rogan
  ... of closing a 2018 Farm Bill loophole allowing intoxicating THC to be sold in low doses. See-
26. TVTheo Von
  But he's got a couple of fucking milligrams in his neck. Look at that motherfucker.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  He's got something going on. They definitely got him medicated. There ain't no way that guy's sleeping without help.
28. TVTheo Von
  Aw.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  Everybody hates him.
30. TVTheo Von
  It looks like he hit a joint and it won't leave him alone.
6:43 – 9:21
Alcohol lobby, drinking less, and food/coffee/restaurant tangents
1. JRJoe Rogan
  It's the alcohol lobby. It's the same people that are trying to keep, um, marijuana illegal in Texas. It's the alcohol lobby. This is the fact: the fact is when people start smoking weed, they s- they drink less.
2. TVTheo Von
  Mm.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  And, you know, I mean, it could be because they just decided to get high and not get drunk, or it could be that they smoke pot and they get a little paranoid and they go, "Oh, my God, why am I poisoning myself five days a week?"
4. TVTheo Von
  Well, a lot of people now, I feel like, are just doing, like, cocaine and saunas it seems like.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  I don't think they're doing those together.
6. TVTheo Von
  Not in th-
7. JRJoe Rogan
  Maybe in your neighborhood. (laughs)
8. TVTheo Von
  (laughs) No, no, not in our area.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs) Maybe it's your town. (laughs)
10. TVTheo Von
  I want my neighbors to know that.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  Maybe your neighbors are coming over in their underwear with a fucking baggie.
12. TVTheo Von
  (laughs)
13. JRJoe Rogan
  "Let's go, Theo. Let's go. Let's get, get that bitch up to 185."
14. TVTheo Von
  Let's go. (laughs)
15. JRJoe Rogan
  "Let's go."
16. TVTheo Von
  There's a place up ahead where we're going-
17. JRJoe Rogan
  Woo, throw that water on them rocks. I'm ready. I want my nasal cavity to be open wide.
18. TVTheo Von
  (laughs)
19. JRJoe Rogan
  Get that leuca- eucalyptus in the air. (laughs)
20. TVTheo Von
  Bro, dude. The best is, yeah, if you have a-
21. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
22. TVTheo Von
  ... if you have a good brother or somebody and they say eucalyptus, bro.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, eucalyptus.
24. TVTheo Von
  That's the fucking best, bro.
25. JRJoe Rogan
  Get the eucalyptus in the air. But, yeah.
26. TVTheo Von
  Yeah, I don't know if a lot of people are even drinking that much anymore, do you think?
27. JRJoe Rogan
  A lot less people are drinking, including me. But I did have a drink the other night before I went on stage and I felt great. Woo, I haven't done that in a while. I had a little whiskey before I went on stage. But I-
28. TVTheo Von
  Di- did you d-
29. JRJoe Rogan
  ... gave up on drinking entirely for many months. I forget how many months, but it was quite a while where I didn't have a sip of alcohol and I felt way better.
30. TVTheo Von
  You did?
9:21 – 11:23
Art Bell, late-night radio conspiracies, and the ‘time traveler’ vibe
1. TVTheo Von
  This guy tests positive, huh?
2. JRJoe Rogan
  That's Art Bell.
3. TVTheo Von
  Was that your stepdad?
4. JRJoe Rogan
  No, that's Art Bell. You don't know who Art Bell is? Coast to Coast with Art Bell-
5. TVTheo Von
  Oh, yeah.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  ... from the Kingdom of Ni. Yeah, Pahrump, Nevada.
7. TVTheo Von
  Oh, that's him?
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Y- yeah, that's Art. He's the godfather of fun conspiracies.
9. TVTheo Von
  Yes, he's-
10. JRJoe Rogan
  Like UFOs and Bigfoot.
11. TVTheo Von
  ... the radio station you can listen at night.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, dude.
13. TVTheo Von
  Oh.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  He was my nighttime jam coming home from The Comedy Store.
15. TVTheo Von
  I could see that.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  Always, 'cause you're coming home from The Comedy Store. It's, like, you know, 1:00 in the morning and the Art, Coast to Coast with Art Bell is on, and the guy calls up Art, "I'm a time traveler." (laughs)
17. TVTheo Von
  (laughs)
18. JRJoe Rogan
  He had a time traveler hotline.
19. TVTheo Von
  Of course he did, dude.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs) You could call in-
21. TVTheo Von
  He was you. He was you, you freak.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
23. TVTheo Von
  You know how many time travelers you've had in here?
24. JRJoe Rogan
  Probably a couple.
25. TVTheo Von
  Oh, yeah.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  At least one.
27. TVTheo Von
  A couple that probably can't find their way home too, I bet.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  At least one. I've had at least one time traveler.
29. TVTheo Von
  No, dude, that's you. I could totally picture it now. You, like, you get a car with some speakers in it and you're the only-
30. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
11:23 – 13:46
Glasses return + ‘Making a Murderer’ and the unreliability of editing
1. TVTheo Von
  Dude, that's so cool that that's him. I can't tell if I can see him better with or without these on.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  I think it's psychological. I'm telling you, those glasses don't do a damn thing. They don't even change the shape of your face. You know how sometimes people put them on and I always go, "How blind is this motherfucker?" And I look to the side and I can see, like, their face caves in-
3. TVTheo Von
  (laughs)
4. JRJoe Rogan
  ... like, like a half a foot because they got giant magnifying glasses over their eyeballs.
5. TVTheo Von
  Oh, my God. (laughs)
6. JRJoe Rogan
  But with you it looks exactly the same. The line of your face doesn't change at all when you turn side to side.
7. TVTheo Von
  I can't tell.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  I think they're fucking with you. I think they think you're crazy and they're like, "His eyes are perfect. Just give him some clear lenses."
9. TVTheo Von
  Mm.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  And you're like, "Yeah, I think, I think, I think this works. I think I see better than these."
11. TVTheo Von
  (laughs)
12. JRJoe Rogan
  I think he... "Y'all got a vape pen?" (laughs)
13. TVTheo Von
  (Laughs) (claps) Yeah.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
15. TVTheo Von
  Let me hit that vape, homie.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  There is something about when, uh, people wear them, they look smarter.
17. TVTheo Von
  Oh, for sure, dude. My friend was wearing them the other day, this girl, and I was like, "Dang, this girl is-"
18. JRJoe Rogan
  She must be a genius.
19. TVTheo Von
  Yeah.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Hot secretary.
21. TVTheo Von
  Oh.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  Or hot professor, hot lady professor.
23. TVTheo Von
  Yeah.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  Ooh!
25. TVTheo Von
  Let me do some homework up in them undies.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  Ooh.
27. TVTheo Von
  That's what I was thinking.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
29. TVTheo Von
  (laughs) Yeah. Let me get up in that study hall, baby girl.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
13:46 – 19:07
Government distrust and Theo’s surreal post office ‘crows’ story
1. TVTheo Von
  I mean, I feel like this is the year. Do you feel like this is the year that, um, people realize that, like, nee-... Both of the neither side of the government is working for us? Is that a weird thing to say?
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, it's true. It's pretty obvious that it's true.
3. TVTheo Von
  Okay.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  They're all working for the people that got 'em in, so no matter what they... Even if they're good people that wanna do well for you, their obligations when they get in there are the people that helped them get in there. They're the campaign contributors, they're the military-industrial complex, the military contractors, the big money, big money banks, big money.
5. TVTheo Von
  (laughs)
6. JRJoe Rogan
  That's what this, all this government shutdown shit was all about, man. It's all about healthcare, right? So, it's all about how much money is getting funneled through these corporations. If you really think that what they're trying to do is make sure that people get healthcare, you're fucking naive, okay?
7. TVTheo Von
  Yeah, you're ridiculous.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  What they're doing is they are protecting some kind of slush fund. If somebody digs into this and finds out where that money's going and finds out how this money's distributed, it'll make more sense. Because there ain't a fucking chance in hell that they're keeping the government shut down to protect your health.
9. TVTheo Von
  Yeah.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  There's not a chance. There's not a chance they're shutting down the fucking air traffic controllers.
11. TVTheo Von
  (laughs)
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Not a chance they're shutting down NASA 'cause they're worried about you getting the flu. That shit is not happening. That's not what's going on.
13. TVTheo Von
  But I think everybody's starting to realize that. Dude, I went to the post office. Have you been to the post office recently?
14. JRJoe Rogan
  I have not.
15. TVTheo Von
  Okay.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  Not since I voted. That was the last time I was at the post office.
17. TVTheo Von
  Okay. Well, it's over.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
19. TVTheo Von
  So, if you wanna know what the post office is like, dude, g-... I went... I'm not even joking. I went into the closest branch near me in Nashville. There was two birds. There was two crows in there, two. One of 'em was a crow definitely. One of 'em was a pretty big bird, and I thought it was a crow, but he had some discoloration or whatever, so maybe like a mulatto crow or a mixed crow or something. I don't know.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs) Okay.
21. TVTheo Von
  Fu-... Pulling a fucking bo-... Like, fighting over a fucking box in there. And there's a lady, a, um, kind of like a darker woman in there, and she's spraying fucking Lysol trying to get them out of the fucking post office. I was like, "What?"
22. JRJoe Rogan
  Lysol?
23. TVTheo Von
  Yeah, or like a Fabuloso, like a-
24. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
25. TVTheo Von
  ... cleaning spray.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  Like this stuff-
27. TVTheo Von
  Like a disinfectant.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, okay.
29. TVTheo Von
  Yeah.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  Got it.
19:07 – 23:07
Porch pirates, guns, and self-defense laws vs. ‘destroying society’
1. TVTheo Von
  They should have different, like, ring tone, like a voice like, "This is Mr. T. You need to bring that package back, sucker."
2. JRJoe Rogan
  That is one of the dirtiest things, porch pirates.
3. TVTheo Von
  Well, just-
4. JRJoe Rogan
  People that be stealing shit off your porch. That is-
5. TVTheo Von
  To get that close to somebody's house, to be right there.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
7. TVTheo Von
  That's one thing I like about living in a state where there is the ability to express something.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  You're talking about guns.
9. TVTheo Von
  Bullet-arily, that's all I can say it.
10. NANarrator
  (laughs)
11. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
12. TVTheo Von
  There's the ability to express something bullet-arily-
13. JRJoe Rogan
  Hmm.
14. TVTheo Von
  ... to somebody if you disagree, if their behavior see- is illegal.
15. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah. You gotta be careful about what, that, though. Their, the laws are different in different places. Like even if someone's stealing something, you're not allowed to kill them.
16. TVTheo Von
  Yeah.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  Um, the, a guy just got in trouble because some dudes, I think there was three dudes broke into his garage, and he, uh, went into his garage, and they went after him and he shot them. And he killed one of them, and now they're bringing him up for manslaughter. 'Cause I guess they're saying he didn't have to shoot them. He could've just scared them or he didn't have to kill them. He could've just retreated-
18. TVTheo Von
  Scared them?
19. JRJoe Rogan
  ... back into his home. Like, in California, they're literally telling you-
20. TVTheo Von
  He scared them, like rest of, like a, like a... Oh, he just scared them with a gun, I guess?
21. JRJoe Rogan
  I guess. But like, you don't know what they have. You don't know what's going on. These are split-second decisions you're making with your life in danger.
22. TVTheo Von
  Yeah.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  And then if you have a wife and children-
24. TVTheo Von
  Yeah.
25. JRJoe Rogan
  ... bro, you are gonna shoot first and ask questions later. You're not gonna make a mistake that's gonna have your, your kids killed.
26. TVTheo Von
  He could be like, "Are you scared?"
27. JRJoe Rogan
  Scared.
28. TVTheo Von
  "Are you scared or what?" You can't say that kinda shit.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  No, bro, it's scary. If someone's breaking into your home, you have no idea what they have, you have no idea if they're there to kill you, if you have no idea if they're there to rob you, if they're gonna duct tape you and torture you for a week. You don't know what the fuck is going on.
30. TVTheo Von
  Mm-hmm.
23:07 – 28:55
Coffee, memory supplements, and Theo’s notes
1. JRJoe Rogan
  Who is, what, who is doing this? Why are you doing it? Want some coffee, dog?
2. TVTheo Von
  Can I have some?
3. JRJoe Rogan
  Fuck yeah, of course you can.
4. TVTheo Von
  Oh, thanks, buddy.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  Um.
6. TVTheo Von
  Yeah, man. Like-
7. JRJoe Rogan
  I mean, we're the first generation that has had... Cheers, my brother.
8. TVTheo Von
  Cheers, man. Good to see you, dude.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  Good to see you always.
10. TVTheo Von
  Really am excited to see you.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  I'm excited to see you too, always.
12. TVTheo Von
  And I'm excited to see you a little clearer than I did-
13. JRJoe Rogan
  I don't think you are. I think it's, I think they got you. I think they're fucking with you, man. I think they're giving you placebos too.
14. TVTheo Von
  (laughs) Oh yeah, really?
15. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, I think gave you a... Let me take some whatever pills they give you. Let's see what happens.
16. TVTheo Von
  No these are 15s, I think. These are good.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  15s? What does that mean?
18. TVTheo Von
  I don't know. Ooh, this is-
19. JRJoe Rogan
  Bro, you fogged up. (laughs)
20. TVTheo Von
  (laughs)
21. JRJoe Rogan
  You fogged up from the coffee, gotcha.
22. TVTheo Von
  You fucking gave me this molten coffee, dude.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  Black Rifle in the house.
24. TVTheo Von
  Is it?
25. JRJoe Rogan
  Always. That's all we drink.
26. TVTheo Von
  Dude, I went, uh... Oh yeah, well there's, yeah. I'm just at the, the journalism now. I can't have, I know this is too hot for me right now.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs) It's not that hot. Look, see?
28. TVTheo Von
  I'm gonna need glasses for my tongue after I drink this, dude.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  No, it's not-
30. TVTheo Von
  It isn't?
28:55 – 36:24
Dreams of EMT Joe, Army what-ifs, and David Goggins’ extreme pursuits
1. TVTheo Von
  Dude, I had a dream you were an EMT, dude. Have you ever had that?
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Really? You had a dream i- I was an EMT?
3. TVTheo Von
  Yeah, and I've had it two times.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  The, really? The, I was like tending to car accidents and stuff?
5. TVTheo Von
  Yeah.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  Really?
7. TVTheo Von
  Mm-hmm. And I think it was in Boston.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Huh.
9. TVTheo Von
  I think that's what even made me think about it.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  I could've gone down that route in life maybe, if things had been different. That's possible.
11. TVTheo Von
  It would've been pretty-
12. JRJoe Rogan
  I could've saw that, that could've happened. I almost joined the army when I was, uh, 18 for their TaeKwonDo team. There was a dude, g- God, his, I think his name is Clay Barber. Um, he was a, one of the national competitors that I- I looked up to, uh, when I was on my way up. And he was, uh, in the army, and he had, uh, a, like the army paid him to train. And I was like, "Oh shit, you could join the army and they'll pay you to compete?" You know, 'cause they had an army boxing team like, I believe Ray Mercer was on the army boxing team-
13. TVTheo Von
  Oh, wow.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  ... when he fought in the Olympics and won the gold medal.
15. TVTheo Von
  Do you have to be, but do you also ha- like w- do you have to do service as well?
16. JRJoe Rogan
  Who is this, Jimmy?
17. TVTheo Von
  Is that him? Robert.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  No, he was a- a black guy.
19. TVTheo Von
  Oh. Oh.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, there's that, see the TaeKwonDo? See it says right there, to the right?
21. TVTheo Von
  Here?
22. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, the- the one with the write, where it says his name right there. Click on that.
23. TVTheo Von
  Which one are you looking at? The left one?
24. JRJoe Rogan
  The one that your cursor's over, dog.
25. TVTheo Von
  I don't see anything.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  Clay Barber, right there. Yeah. So, he was really good in like, uh, I guess it was probably like '86.... or, yeah, somewhere around... I was 18, so it had to be '85 or '86.
27. TVTheo Von
  Ooh, baby girl.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  But that d- that's the dude right there. He was a, a, an elite, um, national competitor in my weight class.
29. TVTheo Von
  He'll kick a fucking whisper out of your mouth. That dude's a gangster, huh?
30. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, he was really good. Um, but he was competing for the army team, and so I was like, "Maybe I should join the army." And then I thought about it, I was like, "I don't wanna get shot." Like, "What am I doing?" Like, I, I don't trust anybody. You're gonna send me to some bullshit.
36:24 – 40:52
Childhood fear, neighborhood sex offenders, and elite blackmail scandals
1. TVTheo Von
  I get the most scared, honestly, in my life, um... When I was young they had, like, a lot of pedophiles in our area, and I think that kind of, like, made me nervous, but probably being in the ocean.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  You had a lot of pedophiles in your neighborhood?
3. TVTheo Von
  Oh, yeah.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  Like, how many?
5. TVTheo Von
  I mean, I think at least three is enough for, like, a small area.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  Three's more than enough?
7. TVTheo Von
  Yeah.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  How come nobody did anything about it?
9. TVTheo Von
  They did. I mean, they put them in our neighborhood. Or, like-
10. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
11. TVTheo Von
  Yeah.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  That's not what I mean. I mean, how come nobody arrested them? How come-
13. TVTheo Von
  Oh, they've been arrested. Yeah. These were guys who were like, uh-
14. JRJoe Rogan
  They were released?
15. TVTheo Von
  Yeah. They used to have this thing. Remember when they had this... I wonder when that rule was. It was like the pedophiles had to go around door-to-door-
16. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, and let everybody know?
17. TVTheo Von
  No, they were pedophiles, right?
18. JRJoe Rogan
  Right. That was a law that they passed. You had to alert people that a sex offender had moved into the neighborhood.
19. TVTheo Von
  Well, we lived... Our mom worked all the time, and we were just at home all the time. So you'd have pedophiles literally come to the door.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  And let you know?
21. TVTheo Von
  Yeah. And they'd be like, "Is your mom home?" We'd be like, "No." And they're like, "Well, I'm a pedophile." (laughs) You're like, "Well..." (laughs)
22. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs) That's a problem.
23. TVTheo Von
  Yeah. Come back after 6:00, you know?
24. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
25. TVTheo Von
  Uh... But, so it was just crazy. Like, you know? But then at least you did know who the people were.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
27. TVTheo Von
  But it was definitely weird that you're setting... And they, they don't live in nice neighborhoods. You, you know, like now there's a lot of, like, billionaire pedophiles that our government protects and stuff. But back then-
28. JRJoe Rogan
  You really think so?
29. TVTheo Von
  I don't know.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  I don't know either. That's what makes me nervous. I don't know.
40:52 – 45:10
Scientology’s ‘pie-plate’ awards and L. Ron Hubbard as fiction machine
1. TVTheo Von
  That was before Israel didn't kill him.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs) You think so?
3. TVTheo Von
  I didn't say anything.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  I heard you say Israel killed him.
5. TVTheo Von
  You did?
6. JRJoe Rogan
  That's what I heard. Maybe it's-
7. TVTheo Von
  Jamie, did you put something in this?
8. JRJoe Rogan
  They didn't. The glasses, they didn't do it. Oh, before Israel didn't do it.
9. TVTheo Von
  Yeah.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, I see what you did. I think, uh-
11. TVTheo Von
  I didn't say anything.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  I think Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.
13. TVTheo Von
  Lee Harvey Oswald went to my middle school. Do you know that?
14. JRJoe Rogan
  No.
15. TVTheo Von
  Yep.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  What? No shit. Was there a plaque?
17. TVTheo Von
  Uh... (laughs)
18. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
19. TVTheo Von
  No, we did have a thing. There was a thing.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Where everybody recognized-
21. TVTheo Von
  LHO, yeah.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  Ugh.
23. TVTheo Von
  And they made-
24. JRJoe Rogan
  LHO?
25. TVTheo Von
  Lee Harvey Oswald-
26. JRJoe Rogan
  That's what you guys called him?
27. TVTheo Von
  Yeah.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  Like L. Ron Hubbard?
29. TVTheo Von
  (laughs)
30. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs) LHR. They all salute... L. Ron Hubbard salutes LHR with the big... Ever see Tom Cruise with a big pie plate medal? He got a medal for being the most awesome guy ever.
45:10 – 59:23
Podcasting as a new media lane: curiosity, truth, and propaganda in film
1. TVTheo Von
  But that's what I feel. I feel like all of these u- balls of yarn that used to feel like they made so much sense-
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Uh-huh.
3. TVTheo Von
  ... and they kept us warm and they gave us senses of purpose, I feel like all of them are becoming unraveled. But it makes me wonder what's gonna happen now? Are we ... Because these are a lot of the things that have felt like some of the blueprints of our existence, you know?
4. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, you know what makes me nervous? P-
5. TVTheo Von
  Does it make any sense to you, when I say that?
6. JRJoe Rogan
  Yes.
7. TVTheo Von
  Okay.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  100%. But-
9. TVTheo Von
  'Cause that's kind of what I'm, guess I'm most scared about. I think, like, even this year, it's, like, some of my sense of, like, purpose or, like ... I just worry that other people don't have a sense of purpose or what's going on, and it makes me kinda scared sometimes.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, that's a, a good perspective, and I think it's accurate. Um, what makes me nervous is the people that are not aware that all of our assumptions of how the government works were all based on bullshit. The people that still believe, that are, like, c- true believers of one side or the other, true faith in government and experts, those people make me more nervous, 'cause some of 'em are smart. That's what's crazy. When smart people are completely unwilling to recognize that conspiracies are not just real, but they're also not rare. They're v- they're very common. They're common, and people get away with them.
11. TVTheo Von
  Yeah.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Especially when they're in positions of extreme power, like running intelligence agencies. Like, they ... And there's a lot of things that they do that are morally reprehensible but totally legal. (laughs) Like, they can do it, because they're allowed to, because they are a three-letter organization and they have ultimate power to do a lot of, like, really gross things that are in the nature o- or in the, uh, the interest of national security. So, like, this is the whole idea behind it. They say, like, "This is our, our decision. This is the best move for national security."
13. TVTheo Von
  Well-
14. JRJoe Rogan
  "This is how we compromise assets, this is how we gather information, this is how we keep America safe."
15. TVTheo Von
  But, are ... They're not ... Uh, are F- ... Why is it, are FBI and CIA are working against us? That's what it feels like. They're just tricking us about every- ... It feels like-
16. JRJoe Rogan
  They're tricking some people, um, on purpose-
17. TVTheo Von
  But, but why-
18. JRJoe Rogan
  Right?
19. TVTheo Von
  ... is, why is that even their goal? Like, I thought that they-
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Because they're-
21. TVTheo Von
  ... could think-
22. JRJoe Rogan
  ... trying to arrest people. So, this is the problem with your career. Like, uh, and this has been explained to me by a lot of people that are experts and people that know. John Kiriakou explained it this way. Your, your reputation is based on how successful you have been arresting people, cracking cases.
23. TVTheo Von
  Yeah.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  And so people set up cases so they can break 'em.
25. TVTheo Von
  Yeah.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  They basically set up an escape room, and they're like, "I know how to get outta here." (laughs)
27. TVTheo Von
  (laughs) Yeah.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  And they pretend that they're just, like, a regular wizard that stumbled-
29. TVTheo Von
  (laughs)
30. JRJoe Rogan
  ... into the escape room. But no, you set the whole thing up.
59:23 – 1:18:06
Healthcare pricing, incentives, insurance denials, and public anger
1. TVTheo Von
  I think, yeah. I don't know. And it's like, just afforded me a lot of like, f- just neat opportunities. Yeah, sometimes talking to people. Like, we got to learn about like, the healthcare last year, and how, you know, a l- a lot of these political parties have put forward these um, like um, like these presidential ... What's it called when they sign something like this as an order, like an executive order?
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Mm-hmm.
3. TVTheo Von
  Right? That price transparency needs to happen with healthcare, right?
4. JRJoe Rogan
  Right.
5. TVTheo Von
  And so that was something that I realized was super important to me, because I think Bernie Sanders agrees with it, Trump agrees with it, uh, Thomas Massie agrees with it, Ro Khanna agrees with it. There's all these people that say they agree with it, and everybody says ... But it never really gets to where it needs to be, right? So y- you can go to a place and a hospital can charge you anything for an MRI, right?
6. JRJoe Rogan
  Mm-hmm.
7. TVTheo Von
  They're supposed to show their prices like a menu. And if they do that, then they have to compete. You could call two places. This person's like, "Well, it's 30,000 bucks," and this person's like, "No, it's 700 bucks." So you're gonna go there.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Right.
9. TVTheo Von
  But they l- they keep it vague so they can like, keep the prices really high-
10. JRJoe Rogan
  Mm-hmm.
11. TVTheo Von
  ... and then they can keep this whole insurance rigamarole going on. And-
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, they're private corporations. That's what's nuts. And the private companies own hospitals. They're private.... you know? And you-
13. TVTheo Von
  So, that, that's probably why they can do it too.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  ... you go there hoping-
15. TVTheo Von
  Yeah, hoping that they're gonna be-
16. JRJoe Rogan
  ... that they're there for your best interest.
17. TVTheo Von
  Yeah.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  What, they're there is to m- make the most money possible and to... And one of the ways they do that is they're incentivized to give you certain medications, financially. Financially incentivized to give you certain pharmaceutical products, and they make more money if they do that. I had Mary Talley Boden on the podcast, she's a respiratory, um, physician. And she, uh, doctor, whatever it is, um, she was saying that if she vaccinated all of her patients, she has a very small practice, if she vaccinated all of her patients for COVID, she would have made $1.5 million.
19. TVTheo Von
  Wow.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Like, that's, that's motivation. Like, that's not-
21. TVTheo Von
  For sure.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  ... someone's, someone's not gonna... They're not gonna give you objective advice. Unless they, they're a really good person like she is, they're not gonna give you objective advice. What they're gonna say is, "Hey, they say you should take it, I say you should take it too, because I wanna go to... I wanna go golfing."
23. TVTheo Von
  Yeah. (laughs)
24. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
25. TVTheo Von
  Yeah, yeah.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  "I want a BMW and I wanna go golfing, so take it."
27. TVTheo Von
  Yeah. (laughs) "I don't care if you're in a fucking wheelchair in three weeks."
28. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah. "Fuck you."
29. TVTheo Von
  "Had a mardo, myocarditis, fucking-"
30. JRJoe Rogan
  "I want a M5."