Joe Rogan Experience #2414 - Brian Simpson

Brian Simpson 0:00 (drumbeats) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

Narrator 0:04 The Joe Rogan Experience. (drumbeats)

Joe Rogan 0:06 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (rock music) Uh, did you watch it, did you watch the UFC?

Brian Simpson 0:14 No.

Joe Rogan 0:15 Oh, my God.

Brian Simpson 0:15 I saw the fights, dude. Islam Makhachev's ... Fuck, dude goes up one weight class, goes up to 170. He was the 55-pound most dominant champion ever, most title defenses at 55 ever, just dominates at 170. Like- Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:28 ... every round. People are g- saying it's boring, but listen, man, (sighs) it's boring if you're a casual. The fact that he was able to do it every round ... It was a little frustrating 'cause you wanted Jack to try to adjust, but he couldn't, man. Is- Islam shut his game down right away. He low-kicked the shit out of his front leg real quick, had him limping real quick. Like, within the first round, he had h- hit it three or four times bad.

Brian Simpson 0:54 I mean, I- I- I imagine being Khabib, you know, just your protege is just coming in.

Joe Rogan 0:59 And Khabib's even better than him.

Brian Simpson 1:00 E- right.

Joe Rogan 1:01 That's what's so crazy. That's how good those guys are.

Brian Simpson 1:04 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 1:04 I mean, but Khabib's not better standup, though. He is... Islam has really good standup. Like, his standup... Khabib's standup was a means to an end. It was like his standup was to crack you so he could get ahold of you and fuck you up, just drag you to the ground and smash you. That was Khabib's move, but Islam's fucking KO-ing people, man. It's different.

Brian Simpson 1:24 Yeah. I mean-

Joe Rogan 1:24 He's different. He's headkicking Volkanovski. That's a ... It's like a different level of standup.

Brian Simpson 1:29 Yeah, Khabib's saying, "You're gonna be better than me."

Joe Rogan 1:31 Crazy. Crazy.

Brian Simpson 1:33 Them Pakistani boys is here to stay. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:35 You know what's crazy, dude? Uh, Belal Muhammad, you know, who was the champ at welterweight, went down to Dagestan and trained with those guys, and he was like, "I thought I trained hard. I really did. I thought I trained hard until I trained with those guys."

Brian Simpson 1:47 That's why I'm gonna follow that vi- if I ever have a son, I'm just dropping him. As soon as he's-

Joe Rogan 1:50 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 1:50 ... hit puberty, I'm dropping him off in Dagestan.

Joe Rogan 1:53 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 1:53 Say, "Leave him here. Forget."

Joe Rogan 1:55 (laughs) That's that thing they always say. "Take him to Dagestan. Two, three years, forget."

Brian Simpson 1:59 For- yeah, for real.

Joe Rogan 2:00 For real.

Brian Simpson 2:00 Then he comes back, he comes back telling you what to do.

Joe Rogan 2:02 How are you gonna fuck with that? 'Cause that's real. That's how those dudes are really rolling out there. That's how they're really living. They're v- they pray five times a day. They're super religious. There's no gambling, there's no drinking, there's no partying, there's just training.

Brian Simpson 2:17 Just training.

Joe Rogan 2:17 Just training and training with a bunch of fucking animals. Eating together, training together. Just getting after it every day, and then it's iron sharpens iron 'cause everyone who comes out of there is a fucking killer.

Brian Simpson 2:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:33 Crazy.

Brian Simpson 2:34 Yeah. Yeah, you gotta be real, real-

Joe Rogan 2:35 You ... No more ... Most people don't want to live that life.

Brian Simpson 2:38 Yeah, and they don't forgive the disrespect.

Joe Rogan 2:40 No.

Brian Simpson 2:41 You know?

Joe Rogan 2:42 They just fucked Dillon Danis up this past weekend. Did you see that?

Brian Simpson 2:45 Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was the-

Joe Rogan 2:46 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 2:46 ... fight in the crowd.

Joe Rogan 2:47 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 2:48 Yeah. You gotta watch what-

Joe Rogan 2:48 They don't forget.

Brian Simpson 2:49 You gotta watch what you say.

Joe Rogan 2:50 Bro, and they're, you know-

Brian Simpson 2:52 (laughs) Them Dagestanis, they not talking shit for promotional purposes.

Joe Rogan 2:55 No.

Brian Simpson 2:55 No, no.

Joe Rogan 2:55 No, no, no, no, no, no.

Brian Simpson 2:56 You gotta be real careful.

Joe Rogan 2:57 No. That's down in-

Brian Simpson 2:58 Do you, do you think-

Joe Rogan 2:58 ... the marrow of the bones.

Brian Simpson 3:00 Do you think that, that there would ever be like a ... Do you think Conor could ever apologize to Khabib and like sc- bury the hatchet? Or is it too-

Joe Rogan 3:06 He would have to ... It would have to be in private, and he would have to really mean it, man, you know? He would have to really mean it, and you'd have to convince Khabib that you really meant it and that it was all ... You know, 'cause he just doesn't play that game, that talking shit to sell a fight game. He doesn't play that game.

Brian Simpson 3:23 No, especially when it comes to like his wife, his people, his business.

Joe Rogan 3:26 Oh, everything, man. Everything.

Brian Simpson 3:27 I saw a clip of DC just saying like, uh, he did ... He had like Conor on his show one time and Khabib was like, "No. What's that about?"

Joe Rogan 3:35 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 3:36 Yeah, like, "That's my enemy."

Joe Rogan 3:37 Right.

Brian Simpson 3:38 And, and-

Joe Rogan 3:38 And, "You're my friend."

Brian Simpson 3:39 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:39 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 3:39 And, and, you know, DC was like, "Oh, yeah. I had to ... I didn't look at it that way, but I had to check myself." Like ...

Joe Rogan 3:44 Yeah, 'cause you're ... If you're a journalist, if you're ... or if you're doing a podcast, you're gonna have some people on that don't like people that are t- close to you, but you gotta like ... That can only go to a certain level. You know, if someone is your, like, sworn enemy-

Brian Simpson 3:57 Oh, right, right.

Joe Rogan 3:57 ... and this other guy's your training partner and your brother, you can't really have that guy on.

Brian Simpson 4:02 R- oh, yeah. Of course not.

Joe Rogan 4:03 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 4:03 Absolutely not. Like, there's, there's no scenario where, where Khabib is gonna be friendly with Jon Jones 'cause he knows-

Joe Rogan 4:09 Exactly.

Brian Simpson 4:09 ... the history.

Joe Rogan 4:09 Exactly.

Brian Simpson 4:10 Like, he might be respectful-

Joe Rogan 4:11 Exactly.

Brian Simpson 4:11 ... but he, he ain't gonna catch him kicking it.

Joe Rogan 4:13 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 4:13 No.

Joe Rogan 4:14 Well, I think Jon and DC have pretty much buried the hatchet.

Brian Simpson 4:17 Really?

Joe Rogan 4:18 Yeah. I think they have. I think they communicated. I think they, I think they've had some interaction. You know, it's like ... Look, when you have two bitter rivals like that and one guy comes out on top, it's just always gonna be that way, always, forever.

Brian Simpson 4:34 Yeah, 'cause they're different kind of people. I, I, I forget that sometimes. Like, the competitive, the people that are like-

Joe Rogan 4:38 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 4:39 ... ultra competitive.

Joe Rogan 4:40 Totally different kinds of human beings, man. They-

Brian Simpson 4:42 It doesn't go away.

Joe Rogan 4:43 Their drive is ... It's like you don't understand it if you don't live it, you know?

Brian Simpson 4:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:48 And like wrestlers, like elite wrestlers are the only people that train the way like Khabib and his crew train. Like, in, in, uh, any other combat sport, like if you're coming over from kickboxing and, you know, and then you want to fight MMA and, you know, you think you ... "Well, I've already trained like an animal already," like, "Mm." (groans)

Brian Simpson 5:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:12 There's a difference. There's a difference in the kind of exhaustion that you get from like hardcore wrestling training, and that's something that these guys have that, uh, it's like ... That's why wrestling is the number one base for MMA. 'Cause anybody who gets really good at wrestling-

Brian Simpson 5:26 Facts.

Joe Rogan 5:27 ... you gotta be a fucking animal. You gotta be a fucking animal.

Brian Simpson 5:31 Yeah. I wrestled in high school for the first couple years and it was like ... I was like, "This ain't for me."

Joe Rogan 5:35 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 5:36 You know? It was (laughs) it, it was hard. It's hardcore, man. Like-

Joe Rogan 5:40 So hard.

Brian Simpson 5:40 It's a, it's ... Because besides the technique and stuff, you have to be able to suffer.

Joe Rogan 5:45 Yup.

Brian Simpson 5:45 You're training to suffer.

Joe Rogan 5:47 Yup. Yup.

Brian Simpson 5:48 Yeah, they, and they break you all the way down every single practice.

Joe Rogan 5:51 Training to suffer and then the losing weight. The losing weight and competing on the same day, you know? I, I went to school with this kid. He was 5'6". H- all his brothers were like six foot, six foot one. It's 'cause he wrestled all throughout his childhood and cut weight all through his childhood. He essentially starved himself and stunted his growth.

Brian Simpson 6:10 Yeah. Well, my, my friend Jeffrey, um ... You know Bernard used to work at the club? He, uh, or used to perform at the club, but he-

Joe Rogan 6:16 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 6:17 He's a, he was a wrestling guy, you know.... did, did real well in California-

Joe Rogan 6:21 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 6:21 ... and all that. And now, he, like, he doesn't kno- he doesn't know when he's hungry.

Joe Rogan 6:26 Oh, Jesus Christ.

Brian Simpson 6:27 You know, like, he's, he just to has to eat, 'cause he's like, "Oh, I haven't eaten in..." But-

Joe Rogan 6:31 Wow.

Brian Simpson 6:31 ... his, whatever connection it is, like-

Joe Rogan 6:33 He broke it.

Brian Simpson 6:34 Yeah, like, he'll forget to eat.

Joe Rogan 6:35 That's crazy.

Brian Simpson 6:36 Yeah. It's like, that, that, it can really fuck with you.

Joe Rogan 6:39 So, usually it fucks with guys the other way, where they cut way too long and then they just blow up like balloons when they don't have to fight anymore.

Brian Simpson 6:45 Yeah, right.

Joe Rogan 6:45 They go crazy, and they just can't stop eating.

Brian Simpson 6:47 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:47 They develop real eating disorders. It's like, it's really common amongst guys who cut weight.

Brian Simpson 6:51 Well, that's when I quit. I qui-... I did, I did a tournament, and, uh, and it was my, it was the first tournament my brother was coming to see me. And, uh, and, and I missed weight by a pound or something like that. And so I ended up... I still got to wrestle, but it was like the, all the, in the loser's bracket, or wrestle the, you know, people off on the side. And (clears throat) there was a guy that he had on, what I know now is an insulin pump, but I didn't know at the time.

Joe Rogan 7:15 Oh, you told me this. (laughs)

Brian Simpson 7:17 Yeah. And he just kept fucking me up. And, 'cause I didn't... I was scared to hurt him, and he didn't give a fuck about me. And I got my ass whooped, and then, (sighs) and then when it was finally all over, I was like, "Oh." And I went to the vending machine, and I (laughs) and I fucking opened the Snicker bar, and I was like, "Ah-ngh-ngh-ngh." And my coach came over, and he was like, "What the fuck are you doing?" You know, and I was like, "Uh, well, the tournament's over." He was like, "You missed weight, and you gonna come over here and ge- eat snacks?" And it was, and I was one of them kids where like, I was just defiant, and I was like, "Fuck you."

Joe Rogan 7:44 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 7:45 You know? And that was the last time, that was the last time he saw me. I was like, "Nah-nah-nah-nah."

Joe Rogan 7:49 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 7:49 (laughs) You know? 'Cause if that, if that's-

Joe Rogan 7:51 Ugh.

Brian Simpson 7:51 ... what this is gon' be, I, I can't do it.

Joe Rogan 7:53 (coughs) No snacks after losing.

Brian Simpson 7:56 Yeah, especially missing weight.

Joe Rogan 7:58 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 7:58 I mean, he, uh, looking back, he had a point.

Joe Rogan 7:59 How much did you miss it by?

Brian Simpson 8:00 A pound.

Joe Rogan 8:01 Mm.

Brian Simpson 8:03 I missed it by ab-... 'Cause, 'cause, 'cause you know, it's like, you can't... i- it's certain households where, like, y- (coughs) you know, my mom, my mama didn't give a fuck about no making weight, you gon' eat that food.

Joe Rogan 8:11 Ugh.

Brian Simpson 8:12 You know? It wasn't like-

Joe Rogan 8:13 Right.

Brian Simpson 8:13 ... I didn't have control over my diet.

Joe Rogan 8:15 Right.

Brian Simpson 8:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:16 So then you would just have to run it off. Ugh.

Brian Simpson 8:19 Yeah, run it off.

Joe Rogan 8:19 You ever n- figure out how much calories you actually, like, w- burn when you do a hard workout? It's not as much as you think.

Brian Simpson 8:27 No.

Joe Rogan 8:28 Like, this dude, I forget what he ate, but he had some crazy meal, with like, fucking pancakes, pizza, and all kinds of shit. Like, th- 10,000 calories or something like that. And then he went running to burn off the calories, and he tracked it, like, on an app. He ran for 10 hours. He ran like 30 miles.

Brian Simpson 8:47 A marathon?

Joe Rogan 8:47 'Cause he was in, re- yeah, dude was in really good shape. But w- when he did this, like, he was tracking, like, where is his cau- how many calories he had burned so far. And it took him, like, a marathon, like 30 hours of running. (laughs)

Brian Simpson 9:01 To, to, to burn off 1,000 calories?

Joe Rogan 9:03 (laughs) 30 miles, rather, 30 miles-

Brian Simpson 9:05 Ah.

Joe Rogan 9:05 ... of running. No, it was more than th- like, it was like 10,000 calories. Whatever it was. You know, I forget what he ate, but it was like pancakes and all kinds of crazy shit. Very calorie-o-... But the p- purpose was, like, to see what happens if you eat all this stuff. Like, what does it actually take to burn this off? So he measures all the calories, and then he just goes out running.

Brian Simpson 9:23 Yeah, it's kinda, it's kinda disappointing when you realize-

Joe Rogan 9:25 It takes a long time. It takes a long time to burn off 10,000 calories.

Brian Simpson 9:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:31 Like, that's a lot of working out.

Brian Simpson 9:33 That's why I'm a... I know I'm gonna stay fat 'til I die.

Joe Rogan 9:36 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 9:37 (laughs) You know? I c- 'cause I (laughs) , I got this, I got this row machine-

Joe Rogan 9:41 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 9:41 ... and it like, it tries to tell you how many. And it's j- it is more discour- uh, discouraging than anything. I had to turn that shit off.

Joe Rogan 9:47 Did you lose any weight when you did that carnivore diet for a month?

Brian Simpson 9:49 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:50 How much did you lose?

Brian Simpson 9:51 Um, I don't know, maybe like 10 pounds.

Joe Rogan 9:54 Yeah, well imagine if you did that for like six months.

Brian Simpson 9:57 Oh, yeah, yeah, the di-

Joe Rogan 9:57 Do you think you could?

Brian Simpson 9:58 The diet is everything.

Joe Rogan 9:59 Y-... That's the whole way to lose weight.

Brian Simpson 10:01 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:01 You, you don't really lose weight in the gym. I mean, you do, you lose a little weight. Your body gets toned, you get healthier. That's all good. But the r- well, real way you lose weight is your diet.

Brian Simpson 10:09 Yeah, yeah. It's just discipline.

Joe Rogan 10:11 Uh, it's hard.

Brian Simpson 10:12 You know? It-

Joe Rogan 10:13 It's hard.

Brian Simpson 10:14 It, it was easier when I was poor.

Joe Rogan 10:16 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 10:17 You know?

Joe Rogan 10:18 E-... Of course.

Brian Simpson 10:18 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:19 Of course.

Brian Simpson 10:19 But it's, it's... 'Cause I always, I try to tell people this, but it's like, when you, when you're your own boss, you can't also be a shitty employee.

Joe Rogan 10:29 Right. (laughs)

Brian Simpson 10:31 You know? Like, I'm the one setting the rules, but I'm also the one enforcing the rules. And I'm like, "You good."

Joe Rogan 10:37 Y- yeah, that's funny.

Brian Simpson 10:38 "Get it next time."

Joe Rogan 10:39 Yeah, you almost have to create a boss in your brain for, like, certain things that you have to do. Like a general who just tells you what to do. "Yes, sir!"

Brian Simpson 10:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:46 You just fucking go do it.

Brian Simpson 10:48 Yeah. G-

Joe Rogan 10:48 Gotta be a robot.

Brian Simpson 10:49 David Goggins could j-... could j- could definitely sell a app, just a motivational app.

Joe Rogan 10:53 He could, but-

Brian Simpson 10:54 Just calls you a bitch every morning.

Joe Rogan 10:56 Yeah. I mean, really all you need to do is just go watch his videos. If you wanna get motivated, just go watch those, that guy's videos.

Brian Simpson 11:04 Yeah. What do... Do people ever go through, like, just go stay with him, and just-

Joe Rogan 11:07 Yeah, he's done that before. David Iler? Is that who it... what... No, uh, what was his name? Uh... Who he stayed with? The d- yeah, the dude that wrote the book. Yeah. Fuck. I can't believe I can't remember his name.

Brian Simpson 11:19 Like, he's on some like Diamond Dallas Page shit, where like he'll just...

Joe Rogan 11:22 Well, he... not, not really. No, this dude was writing a book. Jesse (fingers snap) Itzler? Yes. Yeah. That's it. Um, stayed with him. And, you know, D- David's like, "All right, we s-... we're gonna train. And, you know, you're gonna do whatever the fuck I tell you to do, and we're gonna do it..." I, I forget how many days he did it for. He wrote, Dave wrote a book about it, right? Like Living with a Navy Seal?

Brian Simpson 11:44 Oh, no.

Joe Rogan 11:44 That's it. I think, (laughs) I think he did it for like 30 days.

Brian Simpson 11:47 You, this... You probably gotta pass a physical just to-

Joe Rogan 11:50 Uh, oh yeah, you could die. You could definitely die. He could definitely have a heart attack.

Brian Simpson 11:53 But see, that's the thing. He don't care if he die.

Joe Rogan 11:55 Right.

Brian Simpson 11:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:56 He's ready to die.

Brian Simpson 11:56 Remember he had, he had some, something happen, some kind of heart thing.

Joe Rogan 11:59 Rhabdomyolysis. He had rhabdomyolysis. He's had a bunch of things. He had, he's had heart surgery, uh, but he had rhabdomyolysis that he got because... Rhabdo is when you push yourself so hard. Let's put that in to Perplexity, our sponsor, and find out exactly what rhabdomyolysis is, 'cause I'm gonna fuck this up. Um...

Brian Simpson 12:17 What is Perplexity?

Joe Rogan 12:18 We got a, we got a AI sponsor.

Brian Simpson 12:19 No bullshit.

Joe Rogan 12:20 Perplexity, yeah.

Brian Simpson 12:21 What is it, like, a doctor?

Joe Rogan 12:22 No, it's a, it's an AI. It's an AI, um, large language model, and it gives you answers.... um, so processes when muscle tissue damaged by trauma, ex- excessive exercise, prolonged immobility, metabolic or genetic disorders, infections, toxins, or certain medications. So obviously in David Goggins' cl- case, excessive exercise. So the muscle cell breaks down substances like myoglobin, creat- uh, creatine kinase, electrolytes, and enzymes leak into the blood. Myoglobin filtered by the kidneys can cause urine to turn dark brown or red, and in large amounts can cause acute kidney failure. So when your piss starts looking like Diet Coke, that's when you know-

Brian Simpson 13:04 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 13:04 ... you got a problem.

Brian Simpson 13:05 I think you just gave Hollywood the worst idea.

Joe Rogan 13:07 Nah.

Brian Simpson 13:08 Instead of people coughing into a napkin so you know they're sick, (laughs) they gonna be-

Joe Rogan 13:11 (coughs) Tasting-

Brian Simpson 13:12 ... taking their piss, it's gonna turn into syrup.

Joe Rogan 13:13 Well, it's only if someone works out so hard that your body's breaking down. That's really what it is. Like, you're literally working yourself to death.

Brian Simpson 13:21 Yeah. But then cl-

Joe Rogan 13:22 Does that can happen.

Brian Simpson 13:22 ... then this crazy motherfucker finished the race.

Joe Rogan 13:24 Mm-hmm. He went to the hospital. He went to the hospital, recovered in the hospital, went back to the exact spot where he stopped and completed the race, and then did like 100 pushups at this finish line. (laughs)

Brian Simpson 13:36 Like, you just went to the hospital for doing extra.

Joe Rogan 13:39 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 13:39 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:41 You just can't... You know, you just have to accept that's who he is.

Brian Simpson 13:44 Nah.

Joe Rogan 13:44 That's who he is. He's got no knee cartilage. He still runs. He's just a different... He's a different human. But, um, again, it's like the Dagestan thing. Like there's levels to discipline and commitment. And those guys have...

Brian Simpson 13:57 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 13:57 It's a very high... It's also, like, very high level training too. It's not just discipline. It's like they're very technical. Abdulmanap, who is, uh, Khabib's dad, was a phenomenal trainer. Just, just phenomenal.

Brian Simpson 14:10 But where did, where did he learn all of that shit?

Joe Rogan 14:12 Well, it's all, you know, Russian sambo and th- they all have, like, a long history of... Like, I, I think his dad... Let's, let's, let's Google this just to make sure I'm not speaking out of my ass. But, you know, you gotta think of like sambo or combat sambo is, that's where Fedor Emelianenko came from too. So Russian sambo is like MMA, but they wear like a judo gi top, and they have shorts on, and wrestling shoes, MMA gloves, and fucking headgear. And they have combat sambo championships. They throw each other using the gi. They, they have ground and pound. They're kicking and punching. It's cr- it's a crazy sport.

Brian Simpson 14:52 So it sounds like judo mixed with-

Joe Rogan 14:54 It's like judo mixed-

Brian Simpson 14:56 ... boxing.

Joe Rogan 14:56 ... with MMA.

Brian Simpson 14:57 Oh.

Joe Rogan 14:57 But they're wearing wrestling shoes. Like, it is, it's really kind of crazy.

Brian Simpson 15:01 But there's no ground and pound?

Joe Rogan 15:02 There's ground and pound. Yeah.

Brian Simpson 15:03 Huh?

Joe Rogan 15:03 It's basically kinda MMA. So Abdulmanap, uh, he was named by the Russian Book of Records as the most successful combat sambo coach in the country. Uh, so he was the head coach of Eagles MMA, coached two UFC champions, his son, Khabib Nurmagomedov, as well as Islam Makhachev. Um, but... So he practiced from a young age while serving the Soviet Army, Soviet Army. He began to practice judo and sambo. First big success as a coach came with his brother. Nurmagomed, Nurmagomedov won at the World Sambo Championship for Ukraine's national team in '92. He trained a total of 18 world champions th- through his coaching career. That's how good that guy was, 18 world champions.

Brian Simpson 15:45 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 15:45 That's crazy. Show, show them a video of combat sambo. Like, um...

Brian Simpson 15:49 Yeah, I will.

Joe Rogan 15:49 (clears throat) How about show Fedor competing in combat sambo? It's kind of crazy when you see him, because he was competing in combat sambo, I believe while he was also fighting in MMA. He was still competing-

Brian Simpson 16:03 Oh.

Joe Rogan 16:03 ... for, for Russia in combat sambo.

Brian Simpson 16:04 Yeah. And, and there's a difference between combat sambo and some other kind?

Joe Rogan 16:07 Yeah. Well, there's sambo, which is like, um, just the grappling art of sambo. But look, look at this. They, they're fighting with punches, with the grappling gi on and shoes on. This is crazy, right?

Brian Simpson 16:19 Oh, wow.

Joe Rogan 16:20 (clears throat) Isn't that nuts? They got wrestling shoes on, shin pads.

Brian Simpson 16:25 Oh, no knees. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:26 Yeah. Um, they, they can't throw knees here? Is that what's going on?

Brian Simpson 16:30 It, I mean, it l-

Joe Rogan 16:30 I don't know. I don't know what the rules are.

Brian Simpson 16:31 'Cause I feel like if they, if they could, he would have thrown one right there.

Joe Rogan 16:34 Pretty crazy, man. So that's Fedor when he was world champion in MMA. Maybe the greatest of all time. He's definitely in the argument of the greatest of all time.

Brian Simpson 16:43 Fedor?

Joe Rogan 16:44 Yeah. It's... The argument is him, Cain Velasquez for heavyweight, um, Francis Ngannou, and Jon Jones now, uh, that he's a heavyweight, but he hasn't really... The, the only heavyweights that he really beat, well, he beat Stipe when Stipe was kind of...

Brian Simpson 17:01 Right.

Joe Rogan 17:02 At the end of his career.

Brian Simpson 17:03 In his early prime.

Joe Rogan 17:03 And he beat Gane. But he caught Gane in a guillotine real early. Uh, clearly one of the greatest fighters of all time. But the argument of him being the greatest heavyweight, he's only got two heavyweight fights. Um, then the other guy, um, is Fabricio Werdum. Fabricio Werdum, uh, on paper has one of the best arguments 'cause he tapped everybody. He tapped all the world champions. Fabricio... And people forget, man, because they only look at a guy when the guy's lost. The, like, MMA fans, once someone loses and they start... They have a few losses in a row, people forget how good they were when they were in their prime. And Fabricio Werdum in his prime tapped Fedor Emelianenko, Cain Velasquez, and Minotauro Nogueira.

Brian Simpson 17:44 And, and-

Joe Rogan 17:45 Which is crazy.

Brian Simpson 17:46 What you're saying, there's a window, right? Was it nine years?

Joe Rogan 17:48 I think it's about nine years when fighters can begin at their best.

Brian Simpson 17:50 But I feel like that, that heavyweight window gets shorter.

Joe Rogan 17:53 Shorter.

Brian Simpson 17:53 Shorten real fast. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:54 It gets shorten.

Brian Simpson 17:54 What's the mo-

Joe Rogan 17:55 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 17:55 What's the most defenses in a heavyweight?

Joe Rogan 17:57 (inhales deeply) It's Stipe.

Brian Simpson 17:58 It's like, it's like-

Joe Rogan 17:58 Stipe has the most.

Brian Simpson 17:59 ... two or three, right?

Joe Rogan 18:00 Uh, let's find out.

Brian Simpson 18:01 It's just three.

Joe Rogan 18:02 Stipe Miocic is the... He's the consensus most successful heavyweight of all time. You could say maybe he's the greatest of all time. You know, it's all when you catch him. I mean, the guy got through Francis in that first fight when Francis was just, like, taking people's heads off, like they were attached with sticky glue.

Brian Simpson 18:19 With three. Yeah, three.

Joe Rogan 18:21 Yeah. Three.

Brian Simpson 18:21 You would think it would be more than three, right?

Joe Rogan 18:23 No, man.

Brian Simpson 18:23 'Cause like... 'Cause, 'cause every... All the other weight classes, like, uh, uh, what's light heavyweight? It's like five?

Joe Rogan 18:28 Well, he's got four. Hold on. Scroll back up.... yeah, three in a row. But he's got the most title defenses. Scroll back up, please. This episode is brought to you buy Happy Dad Hard Seltzer. A nice cold Happy Dad is low carbonation, gluten-free, and is easy to drink. No bloating, no nonsense. When you're watching a football game or you're golfing, watching a fight with your boys or out on the lake, these moments call for a cold Happy Dad. People are drinking all these seltzers and skinny cans that are loaded with sugar, but Happy Dad only has one gram of sugar in a normal-sized can. You could buy Happy Dad on the goPuff app and your local liquor and grocery store, including Walmart, Kroger, Total Wine, and Circle K. And you can't decide on a flavor? Grab a variety pack: lemon-lime, watermelon, pineapple, and wild cherry. They also have a grape flavor in collaboration with Death Row Records and Snoop Dogg. They have their new lemonade coming out as well. Visit happydad.com for a limited time offer and use code ROGAN to buy one Happy Dad trucker hat and get one free. Enjoy a cold Happy Dad. Must be of legal drinking age. Please drink responsibly. Happy Dad Hard Seltzer, tea, and lemonade is a malt alcohol located in Orange County, California. So he's got the most title defenses in the division's history with four.

Narrator 19:51 Oh, right, because he took the belt back from Dan-

Joe Rogan 19:53 Mm-hmm.

Narrator 19:53 ... from Cormier.

Joe Rogan 19:54 Right.

Narrator 19:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:54 And then defended against Cormier.

Narrator 19:56 Right.

Joe Rogan 19:56 And then defended against, uh, Francis, which was the craziest one.

Narrator 20:01 Right. And then lost it to Francis.

Joe Rogan 20:03 No. Lo- no. He defended against Francis. Oh, no, no, I fucked this up. He defended against Francis, then got knocked out by Cormier. Cormier knocked him out-

Narrator 20:11 Oh, right.

Joe Rogan 20:12 ... after the Francis fight.

Narrator 20:13 No, you're right. No, you're absolutely right.

Joe Rogan 20:13 Then they fought a second time and Stipe beat him, stopped him. That was the time when he was hooking him to the body.

Narrator 20:20 Body shots, yeah

20:21 I remember that.

Joe Rogan 20:21 Oh my God, he had that beautiful left hook to the body that he had, he just had it wired. So he beat Daniel, beat Daniel again. He s- beat him by decision in the third fight, and then in the next one he fought... Scroll up? In the next one, he fought Francis again and got KO'd. That was a brutal one. And then Jon Jones hit him with that brutal, beautiful spinning back kick to the body. Um, but it's like, he's in the argument too for one of the greatest of all time. My thing about Fabricio though, is like, people forget like how hard it is to submit a guy like Fedor Emelianenko or a guy like Cain Velasquez, and to be the guy that submits all, like f- out of the guys who you consider possibly all-time greats. He submitted three of them. That's nuts.

Narrator 21:05 Well, when Velasquez first came on the scene, I thought nobody was going to be able to beat him.

Joe Rogan 21:10 Bro, he was a monster 'cause he, he was a heavyweight with cardio like a lightweight. It was nuts.

Narrator 21:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:14 Look, nothing like that.

Narrator 21:16 Yeah, but everybody, everybody has their day, man.

Joe Rogan 21:18 Mm-hmm.

Narrator 21:20 Yeah, there's nobody that's unbeatable. I mean...

Joe Rogan 21:22 Well, what happened with Cain is he didn't adjust to Mexico City, so they had a fight. Cain and Fabricio fought in Mexico City. And, uh, Mexico City I think is like 7,000 feet above sea level.

Narrator 21:35 Word?

Joe Rogan 21:35 Yeah. Put that in there. Let's see what Plexity says about that. I'm pretty sure that's the case though. I think it's about 7,000 feet above sea level and it's real thin air. Also, it's a lot of pollution, so it's not like the best air. Like it's- it's not much air and it's polluted.

Narrator 21:51 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 21:52 And, um, Fabricio got there way early, like months, months in advance. Uh, 7,350 feet, yeah, above sea level. So real, real high altitude already, so your cardio's already gonna be taxed-

Narrator 22:07 Yeah, that's-

Joe Rogan 22:07 ... if you're a heavyweight.

Narrator 22:08 Yeah, that's crazy.

Joe Rogan 22:09 That's 2,000 feet above Denver.

Narrator 22:10 But why didn't he go? Did he have a good reason?

Joe Rogan 22:13 I think there was some domestic issues.

Narrator 22:16 Oh, man.

Joe Rogan 22:16 So I think someone didn't want him leaving, you know? And he got y- he only got a chance to be out there I think for two weeks, and that's not enough time.

Narrator 22:25 That's not even close.

Joe Rogan 22:26 Not even close. Uh, Fabricio was up there I think for six months. I think they told him that he was gonna be fighting for the title, and I think he went up there for... I might be talking out of school, but it was many months. It was at least four months, and he was up in the mountains above Mexico City. So he's like, "Fuck it. Let's go 9,000 feet. Let's get crazy." And so got accustomed to even higher altitude, and then when he came down he was in prime shape, and he caught Cain in a guillotine and submitted him. It was nuts. It was like seeing him... He's s- li- like I said, he submitted three of the greatest of all time. Like that- that alone you gotta think... So he showed up two months earl- Werdum did his homework prior to the fight, showed up two months early, and established a training camp in the mountains, conditioning his body to even higher elevation around 12,000 feet. So I was wrong on both counts. It wasn't four months, it was two months, and he was at 12,000 feet, which is fucking crazy.

Narrator 23:23 Yeah, that's, um, yeah, that's-

Joe Rogan 23:25 He said, "For the first two weeks, uh, I was here, it felt as if I'd never trained before at all. I was so tired." So if you got r- used to doing that... Okay, so... Okay, Cain only went 10 days early. Oh my God.

Narrator 23:38 See, I feel like that's some shit that Georges St-Pierre would do just for every fight. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:42 Right. Go to 12,000 feet-

Narrator 23:43 Just (laughs) get on a oxygen deprivation tank or something.

Joe Rogan 23:45 Well, BJ was doing that for a while. BJ Penn was sleeping in a tent. See, it was a plastic tent that he would, uh, seal off and he would sleep inside of it. Like you put it up around his bed, and there was a thing that you, you s- it sucked oxygen out of the air there, and it made it like you were sleeping at high elevation. Apparently that's the move. The move is sleep at high elevation but train at low elevation, and the reason for that is when you train at lower elevation, you have more oxygen, you can get more reps, you can put in more rounds, you can put in more work.

Narrator 24:20 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 24:20 So... And then the recovery is where you really want your body to be adapting, so then once you're done training, go back up. Like say if you were training in, like, in, like, in the valley, and then you went up to Big Bear, and you were sleeping at Big Bear, which is like... I think Big Bear's like 6,000 feet or something like that.

Narrator 24:38 But doesn't that only work if you're- if the fight, isn't...

Brian Simpson 24:41 ... is not a elevation? Like, if you're fighting it-

Joe Rogan 24:43 No. No. The idea is sleeping at altitude is all you need. Sleeping at alti- altitude gets your body... It's, the whole thing is about getting your body to sort of adapt to this new altitude.

Brian Simpson 24:55 So, if you just sleep at altitude-

Joe Rogan 24:57 And it'll adapt.

Brian Simpson 24:57 ... you can fight at altitude?

Joe Rogan 24:59 Exactly.

Brian Simpson 24:59 Oh, okay.

Joe Rogan 24:59 Exactly. You'll have more oxygen. You'll have more. And you'll, you'll be able to work harder. Like, this... So, so, it's like, they used to think training and sleeping at altitude is the move, but now they think actually it's probably better... And maybe this is debated, um, I'm not sure if, like, the, the, ev- there's a con- consensus is out, but I think what they're saying now is train at sea level and then sleep at altitude. Which makes sense. It makes sense.

Brian Simpson 25:27 Yeah, yeah. That's for people that's already training.

Joe Rogan 25:30 Yeah. Definitely.

Brian Simpson 25:31 Y- yeah (laughs) .

Joe Rogan 25:32 Definitely.

Brian Simpson 25:33 Me, where I run out of breath just going up the altitude. That's why, that's why Denver, when- whenever you go to Denver, like, I love doing comedy there, but it's so, it's so dry.

Joe Rogan 25:43 It's dry, yeah.

Brian Simpson 25:44 It's so dry, your boogers get sharp.

Joe Rogan 25:45 Yep. Yeah, your, your nose starts to bleed.

Brian Simpson 25:48 Yeah, your skin is all flaky and shit.

Joe Rogan 25:50 Mm-hmm. There's no air. And then, you know, you can get higher than that too. You can go to Aspen. When they used to have the Aspen Comedy Festival, they used to have, uh, oxygen waiting for you backstage.

Brian Simpson 26:01 Word?

Joe Rogan 26:02 Yeah. In case dudes started fainting.

Brian Simpson 26:04 Why'd they stop that?

Joe Rogan 26:05 I don't know. I think... You know, they stopped a bunch of those comedy festivals. They had... Where was the original one? It was in Montreal, and then they started doing it in Aspen, and I think they did it in Vegas too for a while, if I remember correctly.

Brian Simpson 26:18 Oh, it's the same people?

Joe Rogan 26:19 But it used to... See, those things used to be effective. It used to be you would, you know, take time off the road, go to Montreal, do your best set, and maybe you'd get a development deal, and if you got a development deal, maybe you'd get a sitcom. That was the whole... That was the carrot that they dangled on the end of the stick.

Brian Simpson 26:34 Right. Like, career changing potential.

Joe Rogan 26:35 Yeah. Like, for some people it was career changing. It really was. Um, but that stopped. And then so it was like, "Why are we going to these festivals?"

Brian Simpson 26:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:44 "'Cause I'm not getting anything out of this other than you selling tickets."

Brian Simpson 26:47 Well, I think that, I think that, that's happened, that happened to... What happened to most of the institutions in comedy, or just show business period is the people that used to be the tastemakers, the people that used to tell the business-

Joe Rogan 27:00 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 27:00 ... who was next-

Joe Rogan 27:01 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 27:02 ... I think people get... 'Cause this happens all the time. There'll be some good com... There'll be some, somebody will start a comedy show, then all of a sudden somebody will g- g- make it from that show.

Joe Rogan 27:10 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 27:10 And then it becomes the show in the scene-

Joe Rogan 27:13 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 27:13 ... or in the city, and then they start wanting to maintain that reputation. So, instead of them just fucking with who they believe in, they'll s- wait to see who has a little momentum.

Joe Rogan 27:24 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 27:24 So they, they kind of give it up. Th- they wait for the industry to tell them who's popping.

Joe Rogan 27:29 Right.

Brian Simpson 27:30 And yeah, it happened to The Store, it happened to JFL, it happened to all these places. And, and maybe people are... Maybe it's coming back now.

Joe Rogan 27:35 But you also have to realize, who are these people?

Brian Simpson 27:37 I know.

Joe Rogan 27:37 They're just people that got jobs working for whatever media company that is, whether it's NBC or Netflix, whatever it is. They're just people that got jobs. They might not have any idea, like, how a joke is made, what the process is of developing material, who's got talent, who's derivative. They prob- pro- They might not have any idea, but what they do is they lick their fucking finger and they hold it up, and which- whatever way the wind's blowing, they pretend they're a genius.

Brian Simpson 28:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:05 And that's what they do. And oftentimes they'll dismiss someone who turns out to be the best one of the lot. It's real common, man. And then they always want to stand by those ideas. Like, "Ah, I don't see it." And like, okay, the guy's fucking selling out arenas.

Brian Simpson 28:19 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:19 Like, I think you missed it. And, but it happens a lot.

Brian Simpson 28:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:23 It happens a lot with these folks 'cause they, they're, they're not artists. They're just businesspeople and they're pretending to be artists. It's weird. Like, some of them give you advice.

Brian Simpson 28:31 But some people do have... Like, there's a, there's a, there's a talent for dealing with talent that some people do have. Most-

Joe Rogan 28:40 Adam Egott.

Brian Simpson 28:41 Right. Exactly.

Joe Rogan 28:42 Adam Egott's a perfect example because Adam is an artist whose, like, job is to be a talent coordinator, but he's genuinely an artist. Like, he's... He gets it. He's a... He thinks like a comic, he behaves like a comic. He was a funny co-host of Norm MacDonald's show. You know, when Norm had that show?

Brian Simpson 29:00 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:00 Adam, Adam was on that show with him.

Brian Simpson 29:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:02 So he gets it.

Brian Simpson 29:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:03 He understands the business.

Brian Simpson 29:04 He'll hit you, he'll hit you with a zinger from time to time.

Joe Rogan 29:06 He's a funny dude.

Brian Simpson 29:07 Yeah, he got a couple in the chamber.

Joe Rogan 29:08 He's a funny dude, but he's also a smart dude. Like, and, and he knows potential. He sees someone and he can give them genuinely good advice. Like, genuinely, like, "You could take this and develop it this way. Maybe you need to work on this, maybe you need to..." You know?

Brian Simpson 29:24 But, you know, more importantly, I think he has, he has the courage of his convictions, where it's like, like, when I f- when I first got to Hollywood, you know, I went o- you know, I went everywhere at least once or twice and, you know, people... Some people, you know, people are like, "Come back next week," or, you know, "You gotta wait till this time," or whatever. Ev- everyone saw me, saw me at least once. Adam saw me and he was the only person that was like, "Come back next week." Like, "I'm gonna... You get a, you get a spot next week."

Joe Rogan 29:49 Right.

Brian Simpson 29:49 And he was like-

Joe Rogan 29:49 'Cause he gets it.

Brian Simpson 29:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:51 Yeah, he gets it.

Brian Simpson 29:51 And, like, he start, he started fucking with me immediately.

Joe Rogan 29:53 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 29:54 And it wasn't any hesitation at all. It was like, from the time I met him, I was just getting spots at The Store.

Joe Rogan 29:59 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 30:00 Yeah. And so to, to, to do that, to have that belief in your, in your eye, you know, instead of needing other people's... 'Cause of, 'cause of how most of show business works is everybody is just, no one wants to be the first one on your dick, but no one wants to be the last one.

Joe Rogan 30:14 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 30:15 So, even if they see something they think is dope, they'll be like, "Does anybody else think it's dope?"

Joe Rogan 30:19 Right.

Brian Simpson 30:19 "No? Okay, me neither."

Joe Rogan 30:20 Right.

Brian Simpson 30:21 You know? And then, but then as soon as a couple of people think it's dope, then they'll be like, "I o- I saw it six months ago." It's like, you know, it's that kind of shit. So-

Joe Rogan 30:29 Yeah, that's where they're pretending they have talent.

Brian Simpson 30:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:30 That's their talent.

Brian Simpson 30:31 But the problem is you don't have to have the talent talent to be-

Joe Rogan 30:35 Right.

Brian Simpson 30:35 ... in a position of that, to be in that position.

Joe Rogan 30:37 No, no, you don't. You could just get a job and they need someone to do it, and if you sell yourself and if you worked, you know, in production before, you did something in, as an agent or whatever the fuck it is-

Brian Simpson 30:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:47 ... you're in the business and people know you.

Brian Simpson 30:49 Or you suffer under some tyrant.

Joe Rogan 30:50 (laughs) There's a lot of that. Yeah.

Brian Simpson 30:52 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:53 There's a lot of that, a lot of suffering under tyrants. And then these guys, they wind up, you know, fucking...... but ruining companies, 'cause th- just they don't know what, like, how many terrible specials have you seen that just fit the right demographic? Fit this, like, silly thing? Like, that was a- another problem that Adam was having at the store, is that, like, he couldn't just give spots to the people that he thought was funny.

Brian Simpson 31:18 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 31:19 It's, there was pressure to make a certain amount of gay people on the set, a certain amount of women, a certain amount of... He, they had, like, people telling him he didn't have enough of certain demographics.

Brian Simpson 31:31 But where's the, where's the pressure coming from?

Joe Rogan 31:33 Oh, I don't know. It was coming from b-... You know, I don't wanna talk outta school.

Brian Simpson 31:37 Okay.

Joe Rogan 31:37 But it wasn't just comics. There was, you know, people that were buying into it. And that's nonsense.

Brian Simpson 31:45 (laughs) See, my, (laughs) my mind immediately went to something silly, like, he just, he just wakes up, there's a dildo in his pillow-

Joe Rogan 31:52 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 31:53 ... wi- with a note. (laughs) Just like-

Joe Rogan 31:55 No, he was, he was-

Brian Simpson 31:56 ... "You've been warned." He gets-

Joe Rogan 31:56 He was being told. He's been told by... And it's just like, you know, there's a lot of, like, vicious people in this fucking business. And if you're a guy and your job is working at a club, and that's all you got, and, you know, all the sudden, uh, that job is threatened, because people are complaining about you and they think that you're not doing your best to make the lineup more diverse, which is like... It's so silly, 'cause this is the thing that we always talk about in the green room. Like, look how diverse that club is. There's everybody there, like all kinds of different-

Brian Simpson 32:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:29 ... kinds of people. And the idea that like, it's one thing, this is the- the most dumb straw man that gets tossed around. Like, "It's all right-wing comedy club." The vast majority of the people that work there are left-wing people, vast majority.

Brian Simpson 32:42 That's a fact.

Joe Rogan 32:43 It's a fact.

Brian Simpson 32:44 Yeah. Th-

Joe Rogan 32:44 And you can't, like, you can't tie it down, you know, "It's all white males." That's bullshit. There's all kinds of people there. There's, um, Arabs and Muslim people, there's people from India, there's people from Asia, there's Black people, white people, Australians, there's people from fucking everywhere at that club. And just, there's one thing in common only.

Brian Simpson 33:03 Well, the, I think there's-

Joe Rogan 33:04 Do you love comedy? Are you trying to get better? D- Are you funny?

Brian Simpson 33:07 There is something to be said about being aware of your blind spots. But I don't think that... The way th- Hollywood always does diversity wrong.

Joe Rogan 33:18 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 33:18 'Cause, 'cause they'll go... Instead of going to find, they'll go, "We're missing this slice of the pie."

Joe Rogan 33:23 Right.

Brian Simpson 33:23 Instead of going and finding the funniest people, they'll just pick anyone, you know?

Joe Rogan 33:29 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 33:29 And I don't, I don't know if that always... This is almost never the best way to do things.

Joe Rogan 33:34 It's never the best way.

Brian Simpson 33:35 No.

Joe Rogan 33:35 It's like the same thing for neurosurgeons. If you're like, "You know, I'm really looking for, uh, a Danish woman neurosurgeon."

Brian Simpson 33:42 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:42 Like, "No, no, no. You got, you know, you have brain tumor." Like, "No, no, no, I wanna, really want a Danish woman."

Brian Simpson 33:46 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:46 Like, "No, no, no. No, no, no. You gotta get the best guy. The get, best guy's a Chinese guy. We found him. He, you, we, was outta Harvard. This guy." "No, no, no." Like, that's crazy. And that's the same thing with everything. It's like, it should be a meritocracy. And I think ultimately you're gonna have examples of all sorts of different kinds of people that rise to the top-

Brian Simpson 34:05 S-

Joe Rogan 34:05 ... in a true meritocracy.

Brian Simpson 34:07 I mean, but the... Well, the pendulum always swings both back and forth, but it- it's almost never a meritocracy, you know?

Joe Rogan 34:15 In comedy?

Brian Simpson 34:15 Uh, or just, I'm tal- I'm just talking about com-

Joe Rogan 34:17 I think comedy-

Brian Simpson 34:18 ... talk about in America.

Joe Rogan 34:18 Comedy is one of the only-

Brian Simpson 34:19 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:19 ... things where it's a genuine meritocracy.

Brian Simpson 34:21 Oh, yeah. Well, when it comes to the crowd-

Joe Rogan 34:23 Yes.

Brian Simpson 34:23 ... you can't cheat, you can't cheat.

Joe Rogan 34:24 You can't cheat.

Brian Simpson 34:25 No.

Joe Rogan 34:26 It's that it is what it i- unless you're stealing. That's the only thing.

Brian Simpson 34:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:29 If someone's a joke thief, that's-

Brian Simpson 34:30 Or y- or unless you're a fucking hack, you know?

Joe Rogan 34:32 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 34:32 You can, you can get s- you can-

Joe Rogan 34:33 You can get away with a lot, but you can't get away with a lot with your peers, right? You can't, like, you, your peers won't like you. They won't wanna be around and wa- they won't wanna go on the road with you, with your whack-ass jokes.

Brian Simpson 34:43 No?

Joe Rogan 34:44 Nah.

Brian Simpson 34:45 Unless you're super famous, people are just-

Joe Rogan 34:47 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 34:47 ... people will just hold their nose and go on the road with you.

Joe Rogan 34:49 There's a few, that's true.

Brian Simpson 34:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:50 There's a few that will do that. But, uh, ultimately, though, when it comes to, like, sustaining a career and, and having, you know, years and years of people coming out to see you and multiple specials and stuff like that, either, it either works or it doesn't work. It's, it, that's it.

Brian Simpson 35:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:08 It's real simple. Like, once people find out about you, now you've got your foot in the door and it's all just about keeping it on the gas. Keep your foot on the gas and keep producing, keep making stuff, keep, keep writing, keep working on sets. And you'll, you know, if, if you're working for those people, they'll keep showing up for you-

Brian Simpson 35:26 I hope-

Joe Rogan 35:26 ... 'cause you made 'em laugh.

Brian Simpson 35:27 I hope that stays true, (laughs) because th- uh, that's k- it's the only thing I'm good at, you know? I'm bad at everything except writing, except my, my comedy, you know?

Joe Rogan 35:37 Well, you're really good at your comedy, though.

Brian Simpson 35:38 Yeah. D-

Joe Rogan 35:38 But some people never get really good at anything.

Brian Simpson 35:41 But they, but, uh, I feel like every year, you kind o- you have to be good at something else, you know?

Joe Rogan 35:46 No.

Brian Simpson 35:47 Editing-

Joe Rogan 35:47 No.

Brian Simpson 35:47 ... sketches, s- scripts, they want you to act, they want you to-

Joe Rogan 35:51 Nah, you don't. You don't. You don't. Look at Dave Attell, does one thing, does one thing. Stand-up comedy, everybody loves him, he's amazing.

Brian Simpson 36:00 Yeah. Fact.

Joe Rogan 36:01 Does one thing. That's it. I mean, that dude b- d- doesn't even go on social media at all, which is the only reason why he's not selling out enormous arenas. When we had him at the club last weekend, everybody's like, "Dude, he's the best."

Brian Simpson 36:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:13 "He might be, he's one of the best of all time, and he's working clubs."

Brian Simpson 36:17 Yeah. I mean, a lot of people, a lot of people put him at the very top.

Joe Rogan 36:19 He's up there, dude. It's like, it's kinda silly to rank comedians-

Brian Simpson 36:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:24 ... right? And every comic that's alive today owes a debt of gratitude to the people that came before us. We all do, because it's a re- relatively new art form.

Brian Simpson 36:33 Yeah. I mean, I-

Joe Rogan 36:34 So many-

Brian Simpson 36:34 ... I go, I go by joke by joke by jo-... I don't really have a favorite comedian.

Joe Rogan 36:38 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 36:38 But I kno- there's some bits out there where I'm like, "That's fucking..." And some of those come from, you know, a few of 'em come from the same people, but, but Attell's one of those people where you just, sometimes you just wa- you're just in awe.

Joe Rogan 36:50 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 36:51 You know?

Joe Rogan 36:51 Beautiful. Yeah.

Brian Simpson 36:52 I, but I love that. I love wa- wa- like, getting to watch a comic that make you go, "Goddamn, I need to just ball my shit up and fucking throw it away."

Joe Rogan 36:58 Yeah. That's the best feeling. That's, it's, uh-

Brian Simpson 37:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:00 ... that's where the fire starts burning, it gets you going. You need to feel that. That's why comics don't exist in a vacuum. You know, we were talking about this the other day, that, uh, we're all, we were talking about, like, McCann. So McCann is in this thing where he might have to move, and we're like, "Bro, you gotta stay. Like, you're- you're killing it, and what... You're getting funnier, you're, like, funnier all the time. And I think one of the reasons why is what you're around." Comics don't exist in a vacuum. You're not gonna go to, like-... South Dakota and find the best comic that no one's ever seen. The best comic in the world lives in South Dakota, by himself, and he, he's, you know, he works at this little local comedy club and everybody comes to see him from miles around. No, the, the best comics are around other killers. You get to see a guy like Dave Attell go up, and you're like, "Goddamn." You get to see Shane Gillis go up, you go, "Goddamn." You get to see Joey Diaz. You get to see all these fucking killers over and over and over again. And when, when you're around that, you see Ron White every week-

Brian Simpson 37:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:54 ... that, like, that's how you get better. Like, that's where it's all-

Brian Simpson 37:57 McCann, McCann brings the heat.

Joe Rogan 37:58 He brings the heat, dude.

Brian Simpson 37:59 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:00 He's fucking talented and he's smart and he's a great guy, and he's fucking just a curious, interesting thinker. Like-

Brian Simpson 38:07 And he's got, he's got a, he's got a, he's got a zany-

Joe Rogan 38:10 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 38:11 ... delivery.

Joe Rogan 38:11 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 38:12 (laughs) Like, when, whenever I follow McCann, (laughs) he always brings me up like he auctioning slaves. He'll be like...

Joe Rogan 38:18 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 38:18 "Brian Simpson." You know?

Joe Rogan 38:21 (sighs)

Brian Simpson 38:21 He says my name like, like Leonardo DiCaprio in Django.

Joe Rogan 38:24 Ah. (laughs)

Brian Simpson 38:25 "Brian."

Joe Rogan 38:27 (sighs)

Brian Simpson 38:28 Watch, we gonna get it, we gonna get, we gonna get that on tape somewhere.

Joe Rogan 38:30 Yeah, we'll get that tonight. Well, well, I'll bring him in tonight. (laughs)

Brian Simpson 38:34 Oh, yeah, is he coming, is he coming in tonight?

Joe Rogan 38:36 Uh, I think so. I think so. I gotta text him as soon as we get outta here.

Brian Simpson 38:39 Oh, speaking of the comedy, my, my Don't Tell skit came out this week. Go, go check it out. It's already out.

Joe Rogan 38:43 Oh, it's out this week?

Brian Simpson 38:45 It was out last week, but it's, it's, it's going, it's taking off.

Joe Rogan 38:48 Nice. Beautiful.

Brian Simpson 38:49 Yeah, yeah. It's like, uh, a couple of the clips get a couple of million.

Joe Rogan 38:51 Beautiful.

Brian Simpson 38:52 Viewers, yeah. Go check it out. It's on YouTube, Don't Tell Comedy.

Joe Rogan 38:55 W- that WAP joke's one of my all-time favorite jokes.

Brian Simpson 38:59 Oh, yeah. That's on my, that's on my YouTube channel.

Joe Rogan 39:01 That's my, that's my other-

Brian Simpson 39:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:02 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 39:02 So yeah, it's, uh... Yes, we got a lot of stuff online, man. Just, like, some people are like, "I'm just now discovering you." I'm like, "Really?"

Joe Rogan 39:07 That's how it works, man.

Brian Simpson 39:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:09 There's so much shit out there.

Brian Simpson 39:11 That, that's the thing, man. A mil- a million people can watch your shit and nobody saw it.

Joe Rogan 39:15 Isn't that nuts?

Brian Simpson 39:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:16 That's how many people there are, there are online.

Brian Simpson 39:17 Bro, there's, there's people that are huge fans of yours that don't even know you do standup.

Joe Rogan 39:22 It's crazy.

Brian Simpson 39:23 You know what I mean? How is that possible?

Joe Rogan 39:24 Yeah. Well, there's just too many things to pay attention to. Like, how many times-

Brian Simpson 39:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:27 ... have you heard about an actor, like my, my kids will tell me about someone and I'm like, "Who is that?" And they're like, "Oh my God, that person's huge." I'm like, "Shut up. Really?" And then I go to their Instagram page, so they have 30 million Instagram followers. I'm like, "How?"

Brian Simpson 39:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:39 "Am I that old?"

Brian Simpson 39:40 It happens to me all the time. I've officially reached unc status.

Joe Rogan 39:43 Yeah, I'm unc status for sure. I'm at grandpa status.

Brian Simpson 39:45 Yep. Yeah, people-

Joe Rogan 39:45 Grandpa Joe. Grandpa Joe doesn't know anything. (laughs)

Brian Simpson 39:48 'Cause I'm not looking... The thing is, I'm not at the point, like, I'm not looking for new stuff.

Joe Rogan 39:51 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 39:51 So if, if the kids don't tell me...

Joe Rogan 39:53 Yeah, I'm not looking either.

Brian Simpson 39:55 But then that makes me feel old. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:57 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 39:57 You know there, yeah, there, there'll be, it'll be somebody that's, like, world famous and I'm like, "Who the fuck is that?"

Joe Rogan 40:01 I know. Yeah.

Brian Simpson 40:02 Yeah. I co- I completely missed the, um, the Baby Shark thing. I just started hearing people talk about it in jokes. (smacks lips)

Joe Rogan 40:10 Baby Shark?

Brian Simpson 40:11 Yeah, apparently it's like the number one YouTube... It's the most streamed YouTube video, right, Jimmy?

Narrator 40:15 Um, I mean, it, this, this is a couple years ago, guys.

Brian Simpson 40:18 But it's, it's still number one though, right?

Joe Rogan 40:20 I, I completely missed it.

Brian Simpson 40:22 That's what I'm saying.

Narrator 40:22 Baby Shark, doo, doo, doo, doo.

Joe Rogan 40:23 Oh.

Narrator 40:24 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 40:24 See?

Joe Rogan 40:24 Baby Shark, doo, doo, doo, doo.

Narrator 40:25 Yeah. That's right. I remember it.

Brian Simpson 40:26 Yeah, I, I had literally hadn't heard that song, it had been out for maybe a year and a half and I hadn't heard anything about it. I just heard a comic making jokes about it and usually when something's in the pop culture, everyone will be trying to have their own take on it.

Joe Rogan 40:39 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 40:39 So then I heard another comic say a joke about it, I'm like, "What the fuck is that?" And sure enough, it's like, I completely missed it. How could I? I mean, I don't have kids. That makes sense.

Joe Rogan 40:46 That's what it is. Okay, this is it?

Narrator 40:48 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 40:49 That video? That's a big video? I've never seen that video.

Narrator 40:52 No, I'm good.

Joe Rogan 40:53 The world's most watched YouTube video hasn't made its creator rich. What?

Brian Simpson 40:57 Huh?

Joe Rogan 40:57 How come? Hold on. Uh, company behind ubiquitous song is hampered by ad restrictions on children's content, wants to raise funds for expansion. What does that mean? Raise funds? You had one viral video. You ain't a company.

Narrator 41:10 16.4 billion views.

Joe Rogan 41:12 (gasps)

Brian Simpson 41:13 That's insane.

Joe Rogan 41:13 And they can't make money?

Narrator 41:15 It says roughly equivalent to Taylor Swift's 10 most popular YouTube videos combined.

Joe Rogan 41:20 Whoa.

Narrator 41:21 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:21 Yeah, last year the company generated equivalent of about $67 million in revenue, including earnings from YouTube. But wait a minute.

Narrator 41:28 That's a lot.

Joe Rogan 41:29 That's a lot. So it seems like they are making money. I don't understand. Is it saying, "The quandary underscores how certain restrictions..." W- what, may you scroll up a little? I think we must have missed something.

Narrator 41:40 No, we haven't missed anything yet.

Joe Rogan 41:40 But why is it... It doesn't make any sense that the company hasn't made any money. It's saying they made money. That, am I miss, am I reading that wrong?

Brian Simpson 41:47 Uh...

Narrator 41:47 Uh, revenue isn't the same as making money, though.

Joe Rogan 41:51 What?

Narrator 41:52 Revenue is just money coming in. They could've-

Brian Simpson 41:54 So it's-

Joe Rogan 41:54 So I'm, I'm guessing-

Narrator 41:54 I mean-

Joe Rogan 41:54 Their expenses are so high that-

Narrator 41:56 They could've, they could've spent a lot on ads to get it out there. That's what it could be going into saying. I don't know. Maybe not, but-

Brian Simpson 41:59 No, but I'm guessing 16 billion views probably should make you more than that. Is that what they're trying to say?

Joe Rogan 42:04 So revenue is your, your gross?

Brian Simpson 42:07 Oh, oh, no, no, no. That's how much money they made total, including what they got from YouTube. It, it, that's not just from YouTube.

Joe Rogan 42:12 Oh, so they make money from other stuff.

Brian Simpson 42:14 Yeah, they probably had, like probably licensed it out-

Narrator 42:16 Yeah, yeah.

Brian Simpson 42:16 ... and stuff like that.

Joe Rogan 42:17 So scroll up so you see the little graph there. It says, "Life..." I mean, scroll down, sorry. So operating profit, revenue, so they're making a lot more money. Oh.

Brian Simpson 42:26 Yeah, but that's, that's South Korean won.

Joe Rogan 42:29 (laughs)

Narrator 42:29 I don't know, yeah, just-

Brian Simpson 42:30 Uh, who knows, I mean... (laughs)

Narrator 42:31 Yeah, falling down the wrong hole.

Brian Simpson 42:33 (laughs)

Narrator 42:34 Oh, oh, digged out.

Brian Simpson 42:36 No, Joe's like, "Bring back the AI."

Joe Rogan 42:38 Yeah, I don't know what that is. Like, like that Baby Shark thing, like why would, why would one thing catch like that?

Brian Simpson 42:46 'Cause it's, 'cause it's something for kids and people love ignoring their kids. You just play that, put that shit on and kids are obsessed.

Joe Rogan 42:51 It can't just be that, because there's so many things that kids can watch. It can't be just that. There's gotta be s-... There's some... Remember that banana song? Banana Phone? << Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, Banana Phone >>

Brian Simpson 43:03 Nope.

Joe Rogan 43:03 It was like-

Brian Simpson 43:03 I never heard that before in my life.

Joe Rogan 43:04 It was, like, in the 2000s. It became, like, really popular. I think it was popular on Opie & Anthony, they kept playing it. It was, like, really catchy, totally innocent. And then it was, like, everywhere for, like, three or four weeks, and then it went away. And I always wonder, like, what, what the fuck is it where something just catches fire?

Brian Simpson 43:22 I don't know. Remember when Tickle Me Elmo...

Joe Rogan 43:24 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 43:24 'Cause when was the last time we had a viral holiday toy?... like where it was the toy everyone had to have. Tickle-

Narrator 43:30 Um, the, the l- it's not holidays but those Labooboos went pretty viral recently.

Brian Simpson 43:33 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:33 Labooboos are pretty viral. Yeah, people love the Labooboos.

Brian Simpson 43:36 But... and I don't get it. Why, though?

Narrator 43:37 'Cause-

Brian Simpson 43:37 Are they... Are they collectors? Is this like where-

Joe Rogan 43:39 Because they know AI is about to take over the world, and then they know the aliens are landing and Jesus Christ is coming back, and they just... They're freaking out. They're buying stuffed animals. They don't know what the fuck they're doing. They're just following the lead. So what I have to do-

Brian Simpson 43:50 So a, a Labooboo is just a stuffed animal?

Joe Rogan 43:52 I don't know. I hear about them, my f- my brain shuts off.

Narrator 43:56 There's a little bit of gambling involved.

Joe Rogan 43:58 In what? What?

Narrator 43:58 It's, it's a mystery. You don't know what's inside the box that you bought.

Joe Rogan 44:01 Wait a minute.

Narrator 44:01 And then people can sell those boxes based off of what could be inside.

Joe Rogan 44:04 Is it a stuffed animal?

Narrator 44:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:06 So a stuffed animal, then you gotta gut your stuffed animal to find out what's inside of it?

Narrator 44:09 No, no, no, no. It's a box.

Joe Rogan 44:10 Oh. (laughs)

Narrator 44:10 Like, it's in a... It's in a box, it's in a package, and then you don't know what's inside that package until you buy it. Correct.

Brian Simpson 44:13 Oh, so you just... You just buy a Labooboo without knowing which one you're gonna get.

Narrator 44:16 Right, right, right, right.

Brian Simpson 44:16 Hmm.

Narrator 44:17 And you might get a limited edition one inside.

Brian Simpson 44:19 So it's a real life loot box. That's a, that's-

Joe Rogan 44:20 Oh.

Narrator 44:20 A limited edition Labooboo.

Joe Rogan 44:21 Yeah, it's like Beanie Babies without knowing what you got before, and you might get the Princess Di one.

Brian Simpson 44:25 Ooh, that's brilliant.

Joe Rogan 44:26 You could get a limited edition Labooboo. (laughs)

Narrator 44:28 That's br-... How much... What, how-

Joe Rogan 44:29 That's... That... I don't... And other than that-

Brian Simpson 44:31 How much is it to... How much is it to buy a mystery Labooboo box?

Narrator 44:33 I couldn't tell you. Uh, it could be $20, it could be $50, I have no idea.

Joe Rogan 44:35 Let's guess. Let's take a guess. Let's take a guess. How much do you think it costs to get a Labooboo?

Narrator 44:38 Retail?

Brian Simpson 44:39 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 44:40 Retail.

Brian Simpson 44:40 I'm gonna say 40 bucks.

Narrator 44:42 40 bucks.

Joe Rogan 44:43 Yeah, I think I'm with you. I was gonna say 36.

Narrator 44:46 And after that, how much do you think it is resale? 'Cause that's a... That's how much it costs to get them.

Joe Rogan 44:49 Oh, 150 bucks.

Narrator 44:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:51 I bet it's like a... It's like buying a... One of them... Like, a hot new car.

Narrator 44:55 So re- retail's 28. 27.99.

Joe Rogan 44:57 Okay.

Brian Simpson 44:58 Okay. 30 bucks.

Joe Rogan 44:59 And then what does it cost online if you wanna buy one right now? I need a Labooboo.

Brian Simpson 45:04 Like a my-... A mystery.

Joe Rogan 45:06 A mystery Labooboo. What do I get? Are you Googling it?

Narrator 45:09 Yeah, yeah. It's going on... I'll see.

Brian Simpson 45:11 I'm gonna... I'll turn off my ringer.

Narrator 45:12 Eh, up to 80 to 120. It's not that bad. Oh, well, a few human-sized auction pieces ex-... Oh, that's big.

Joe Rogan 45:18 What?

Narrator 45:18 $100,000.

Joe Rogan 45:19 Wait a minute. They have human-sized Labooboos?

Narrator 45:21 I didn't know that. That's...

Joe Rogan 45:21 Jesus Christ.

Brian Simpson 45:22 What?

Joe Rogan 45:23 That is so cr-... Ridiculous.

Narrator 45:25 I mean...

Joe Rogan 45:25 What is someone doing with a human-sized Labooboo? Who's fucking their Labooboo? 'Cause you know someone is. Let me see what the Labooboos look like. Is it something like a furry would fuck?

Narrator 45:33 Hold on, let me try to Google human-sized Labooboo. Human-sized...

Joe Rogan 45:37 Oh, did you hear the latest? That that dude who, uh, shot Trump, um, might have been a furry?

Narrator 45:42 Yeah, I saw that they found some more stuff.

Brian Simpson 45:43 What?

Joe Rogan 45:44 Yeah. They think he was a furry.

Narrator 45:45 That's like an art piece. It's not really quite a Labooboo, you know?

Joe Rogan 45:48 Oh. Well, that's not really human-sized either.

Narrator 45:50 Yeah. Human-sized Labooboo doll sold for $150,000.

Joe Rogan 45:53 Let me see what it looks like.

Brian Simpson 45:54 But what they mean, might have been a furry? Did... I feel like you would know or not know that.

Joe Rogan 45:58 Um, they're finding stuff... Like, let's, let's find out.

Narrator 46:02 Oh, this is...

Joe Rogan 46:03 Yeah, there it is. There's the big Labooboo. Whatever.

Brian Simpson 46:06 This lady invented them?

Joe Rogan 46:08 She invented Labooboo?

Narrator 46:10 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:10 How... Again, how? How does that work? How does that catch on? How does that catch on?

Brian Simpson 46:15 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 46:15 Like, Build-A-Bear has been in the fucking mall forever.

Brian Simpson 46:17 I mean, I th-... I think I know what it is. It's probably some fucking hot... Smoking hot, uh, K-pop star.

Joe Rogan 46:23 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 46:24 Probably they saw her with one on.

Joe Rogan 46:26 (sighs) Yeah.

Brian Simpson 46:26 You know that there's certain women w-... They follow, and anytime she does any fashion thing-

Joe Rogan 46:29 Uh-huh.

Brian Simpson 46:30 ... it- it just spreads like wildfire.

Joe Rogan 46:32 Yeah, there's a thing that does happen when an... Ever... A popular person starts, like, wearing a thing.

Brian Simpson 46:37 Yeah. They- they literally tricked all women into wearing di-... And- and wanting a diamond from-

Joe Rogan 46:41 Well, you remember when-

Brian Simpson 46:42 Just getting the actress to do it.

Joe Rogan 46:43 Judas Priest, um, dr-... Had everybody dressing up like a gay motorcycle gang member.

Brian Simpson 46:48 What?

Joe Rogan 46:49 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 46:49 That started with Judas Priest?

Joe Rogan 46:50 Yeah. Rob Halford from Judas Priest is gay, like openly gay. And now, at least. You know? I don't know if he was back then. But he dressed like a gay biker, like... And that became, like, metal.

Brian Simpson 47:05 Oh, word.

Joe Rogan 47:06 'Cause Judas Priest was so good, they wanted to dress like this gay guy who'd dress like a- a gay guy who'd go to, like, a gay biker club. (laughs)

Brian Simpson 47:15 Yeah. It's probably, like, hot women around the world, 'cause dudes will do... Dudes will do anything that- that they think-

Joe Rogan 47:22 Will get you laid.

Brian Simpson 47:22 That they think... Yeah, will get them laid.

Joe Rogan 47:24 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 47:24 And- and women will do anything that a pretty woman does. You know?

Joe Rogan 47:27 That's true. Right.

Brian Simpson 47:27 It's-

Joe Rogan 47:28 Anything to make your- yourself look prettier too.

Brian Simpson 47:30 Yeah. And so, it's like... 'Cause all of the dudes now talking all that gay shit, they was dressing like that in the '70s and the '80s, like earrings and-

Joe Rogan 47:37 Oh, yeah.

Brian Simpson 47:37 ... makeup and purses and all of that.

Joe Rogan 47:39 Mm-hmm. Bell bottoms, big collars.

Brian Simpson 47:41 Yeah, 'cause they thought it was gonna get them laid.

Joe Rogan 47:43 Flouncy shirts.

Brian Simpson 47:44 You could sh-... You could dress like Prince. You could dress like-

Joe Rogan 47:45 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 47:46 ... Little Richard and people-

Joe Rogan 47:47 That's right.

Brian Simpson 47:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:48 Yeah. Anything that works. Platform shoes. Anything that works.

Brian Simpson 47:52 Anything.

Joe Rogan 47:53 Okay. Thomas Crooks used they/them pronouns, had obsession with political violence and muscle mommies. Uh-oh, that's what I like.

Brian Simpson 48:00 Yeah, what's wrong with... (laughs)

Narrator 48:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:08 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 48:08 (laughs)

Narrator 48:08 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 48:08 I got, like, a woman that can move a cow.

Joe Rogan 48:11 (laughs) I do. Uh, the lone sniper who grazed Trump in the ear, killed a beloved firefighter, critically wounded two other Trump supporters, apparently had a muscle mommy fetish and repeatedly searched for videos about female bodybuilders and muscular women. But what was the, um, the furry stuff, though? I was reading some furry stuff.

Narrator 48:29 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:29 Um, Crooks had two accounts on d-... Two possible accounts on DeviantArt, a site that hosts fan art, has become notorious for its community of furries, people who've identified as anthropomorphized animal characters and/or... and/or are sexually attracted to them. Did I ever tell you about the time that I accidentally stumbled on a furry convention?

Brian Simpson 48:50 No.

Joe Rogan 48:50 Ha. We were flying into Pittsburgh, uh, for a UFC. Uh, one of DeviantArt accounts linked to Crooks shared just one post, a reposting of a towering, muscular female bodybuilder and a slight man in his underwear.

Narrator 49:05 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:05 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 49:05 Yeah. I'm all about-

Joe Rogan 49:06 Yeah. That's like, uh, R. Crumb type stuff. Hilarious.

Brian Simpson 49:11 Yeah, I don't kink-

Joe Rogan 49:12 Um-

Brian Simpson 49:12 I don't k-... I don't kink-shame. Whatever makes you-

Joe Rogan 49:13 We... I don't kink-sham either.

Brian Simpson 49:14 No.

Joe Rogan 49:15 Have fun. Uh, me and Duncan wore furry outfits once and we-

Brian Simpson 49:18 For- for the pod?

Joe Rogan 49:19 Yeah, and we had to take the hats off after, like, five minutes. Like, respect to furries.

Brian Simpson 49:23 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:24 They can walk around all day with this fucking thing on. It was heavy, it was hard to breathe, it was hot. We took it o-... Oh, yeah. That's what he likes. Yeah, baby.

Brian Simpson 49:32 But who doesn't like that?

Joe Rogan 49:33 Ah, I don't know. Some little dudes.... some, some little dudes don't wanna be dominated.

Brian Simpson 49:39 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:39 Don't want some man, some woman to use 'em like a dildo. Um, when I was, uh ... So, I was flying into Pittsburgh. We were flying in for UFC, and, uh, we got a rental and we're driving to the hotel. And as we're driving to the hotel, I'm like, "Why are all these mascots on the street? The fuck's going on?" It was real weird. Like, we didn't understand what was going on. This is a while ago.

Brian Simpson 50:01 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 50:01 Like at least 10 years ago. And we're driving, and I'm like, "What the fuck is this?" Like, "What's going on?" We get to the hotel, uh, and I'm like ... And I go to the guy behind the counter. I go, "Man, what the fuck is going on?" He goes, "It's a furry convention." Like, I didn't even ... I kind of v- vaguely knew what a furry was, but I- I- I n- never really d- dove into it, you know? So, I go, "What i- what are you talking about?" And he goes, "It's a convention of all these people that get off on dressing like animals." I go, "Get off?" He goes, "Dude, they're asking us to serve them food in bowls on the ground, okay?" They, when they get room service, they want their room service in a bowl. They want it put on the ground, so they can get on their knees and eat it out of a bowl. And they were asking for a litter box. I know a lot of people don't believe this, like, 'cause I told this story about a friend of mine who lives in Utah. His wife was a st- a schoolteacher there, and one of the parents had dis- uh, had a child that was a furry, and they wanted to put a litter box in the bathroom. Now, this was entirely ref- relayed to me by my friend, who ... It was relayed to him by his wife, who worked in the school. I don't know if it's true, but everybody got so angry, and they started saying what I was saying was transphobic. And I got so confused, 'cause I was like ... This is a couple years ago. I was like, "Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. How ... What does that have to do with trans people?" We're talking about someone who wants to shit in a box. Like, where's, where's the trans part of this? So, somehow or another, furries and that kink are getting, like, lumped into this LGBTQTAI+ whatever, and they're trying to, like, lump furries in there, in this, this, uh, d- debunking of my conspiracy theory.

Brian Simpson 51:44 Well, fur- furries are their own, their own-

Joe Rogan 51:46 But ... Yeah, their own. That's what I didn't understand. Like-

Brian Simpson 51:47 And it's, it's ... You know, some of 'em, it's not sexual.

Joe Rogan 51:49 The ... But these guys, it was. When I was talking to the guy that worked behind the counter, I was like, "What is going on?" He goes, "Dude." He goes, "Apparently, what these guys like to do is they have, like, a hatch on the back of their furry outfit, and they like to bang each other w- without even knowing who they're banging." They ... All they do, they, they're, they pretend they're banging a giant squirrel, and they're into it. And it's apparently, like, part of the fun, is that you don't have to think about your b- Maybe you're ashamed of your body. Maybe you don't like your body. Maybe you're just like, "I'd rather someone just fuck me and think I'm a raccoon." And so that's what they do.

Brian Simpson 52:24 See, I pray to, I pray to God I don't find out that that's my kink, because it's just too much work.

Joe Rogan 52:28 Ugh, it's a lotta work. The, the, the head is heavy, you know?

Brian Simpson 52:32 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:32 Heav- heavy is the head that car- carries the throne.

Brian Simpson 52:35 Yeah, that's it. Uh, any, anything, any kink that requires maintenance.

Joe Rogan 52:39 That's a lotta washing. You gotta wash that furry outfit. And if someone jizzes on it and doesn't tell you, then you got a problem.

Brian Simpson 52:44 Yeah, but then, but then i- it might be a subsection of the community where they like, they like it not washed.

Joe Rogan 52:48 Right.

Brian Simpson 52:48 They want the dirty furries, they over there.

Joe Rogan 52:50 Like an animal. Like, in the woods, they don't wash themselves.

Brian Simpson 52:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:52 Come on. Let's go. We're furries? Are we, are we furries or are we men?

Brian Simpson 52:56 I once had a, um ... I used to work at this pub in, in San Diego. And, uh, one time we had ... It was like a ... It was like ... I don't know if they're a subsect of the furry world, but it's like they're, they're like My Little Pony people.

Joe Rogan 53:10 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Brian Simpson 53:11 And, and th- and th-

Joe Rogan 53:12 And yeah, what do they call them? There's a name for that.

Brian Simpson 53:13 Bronies. Bronies. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 53:15 Yeah, there's like a whole (00:04:27) or something.

Brian Simpson 53:17 And they, and they were all very nice and respectful, and you could see ... You know, it ... There were a handful of women involved, and you could see everybody trying to angle for the ... But they, they took ... They, they just, they filled up our pub.

Joe Rogan 53:29 And these are all the My Little Pony people?

Brian Simpson 53:32 Yeah. Wow. There was a documentary that was, like, 10 years, 12 years ago. And-

Joe Rogan 53:35 See, bro, it's-

Brian Simpson 53:36 And they hard- and they hardcore. Like, they, they, they don't tolerate any teasing whatsoever. Like, if you try to come at them about it, it's gonna be a problem.

Joe Rogan 53:43 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 53:43 (laughs) You- y- y- y- you know? Like s-

Joe Rogan 53:47 You gotta be able to take some teasing.

Brian Simpson 53:49 Yes.

Joe Rogan 53:49 If you wa- ... If you, you want me to take you seriously-

Brian Simpson 53:51 But I'm telling you, bro, they gonna-

Joe Rogan 53:52 Come on.

Brian Simpson 53:52 They gonna throw hoofs immediately.

Joe Rogan 53:54 Ah.

Brian Simpson 53:55 They throwing hoofs.

Joe Rogan 53:57 People will find a thing that they're really into, no matter what it is.

Brian Simpson 54:00 Yeah, I mean-

Joe Rogan 54:00 They will find a fucking thing that they are really into.

Brian Simpson 54:02 I mean, but that, but that's the reason ... That's why I don't kink shame, because I'm like, "Hey, man, if you ... Just be lucky that all the things that make you come are nor- or, are things you consider normal." You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 54:13 Right.

Brian Simpson 54:13 'Cause it ... 'Cause I feel b- Like, imagine if you found out.

Joe Rogan 54:17 Right, that that was your thing?

Brian Simpson 54:18 Yeah, you could only, you can only get off if you was dressed as a wolf, you know?

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Joe Rogan 55:56 ... because I think it's a psychological thing, but they don't like who they really are. I mean, that's-

Brian Simpson 56:01 Hm.

Joe Rogan 56:01 ... I, that's a... If I had to guess what the furry thing is, I don't think there's any well... I mean, I don't know, maybe there's some well-balanced furries out there that just have a weird thing. But I think most of them just don't like who they are. And so, they just wanna hide in this thing that's all smiley and, "Hi, kids." You know, you don't, you look like a fucking, some sort of a giant animal.

Brian Simpson 56:19 Hmm. See, I have a theory.

Joe Rogan 56:20 You know?

Brian Simpson 56:21 I think whatever... I think the first time you encounter something sexual, whatever's happening gets, like, burned into your shit.

Joe Rogan 56:29 Hm, that's a-

Brian Simpson 56:30 You know?

Joe Rogan 56:30 That's called imprinting. Yeah.

Brian Simpson 56:32 Yeah. Like if it, like I ha- I, I got a homie that, um, that's like into like, uh, you know, the BDSM world and stuff like that.

Joe Rogan 56:39 Hmm.

Brian Simpson 56:40 And he has no idea. And I was like, "Well, how did you know that?" He was like, "Oh, I have no idea." And then, y- you know, years later without... Completely unrelated, he's telling me one time about him looking for Christmas presents and going in the back of his parents' closet and finding a whole chest of, you know, whips and chains and shit like that-

Joe Rogan 56:56 Whoa.

Brian Simpson 56:56 ... when he was like six or seven years old.

Joe Rogan 56:58 Whoa.

Brian Simpson 56:58 And he didn't make the connection where it's like, "Oh, yeah, well, that's why you're..."

Joe Rogan 57:02 Yeah, duh.

Brian Simpson 57:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:03 Parents are into whips and chains and shit?

Brian Simpson 57:04 Well, I, I, and I don't know if that had to happen, because I think your kinks are genetic.

Joe Rogan 57:09 Really?

Brian Simpson 57:09 I, yeah. I think-

Joe Rogan 57:10 Why do you think that?

Brian Simpson 57:11 I, I think I've read that, right? Like-

Joe Rogan 57:12 Well, I think some information is probably passed down from parents to kids, and I would imagine kinks could be in there, 'cause like artistic talent is passed down. Obviously, athletic talent is often passed down. It would make sense... I bet a lot of them... I bet they don't know exactly-

Brian Simpson 57:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:30 ... what you're giving to your kids.

Brian Simpson 57:31 Well, uh, well, let's, let's find out, because if it's true, I mean, that's gonna make you look at your mama real different.

Joe Rogan 57:35 Right.

Brian Simpson 57:35 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:38 You don't wanna know that. That's horrible.

Brian Simpson 57:40 Yeah, but I-

Joe Rogan 57:41 I, like, I pity the poor people that have accidentally walked in on their parents fucking.

Brian Simpson 57:45 Uh, the, what?

Joe Rogan 57:46 Oh.

Brian Simpson 57:46 You never did that?

Joe Rogan 57:47 No.

Brian Simpson 57:48 No, me neither.

Joe Rogan 57:49 The horror.

Brian Simpson 57:51 No actually, that's not true. I never, I never walked in, but I definitely knew that that's what was happening.

Joe Rogan 57:56 I can block that out.

Brian Simpson 57:57 Right.

Joe Rogan 57:58 You can't block out the visual.

Brian Simpson 57:59 'Cause you, 'cause you've definitely touched the doorknob and been like, "Aah! ............................"

Joe Rogan 58:03 Your dad with his feet up in your air, your mom eating his ass.

Brian Simpson 58:05 No, no.

Joe Rogan 58:05 Like, no way.

Brian Simpson 58:06 No, I don't have no visuals for that.

Joe Rogan 58:07 Your dad stroking it while your mom's eating his ass, like, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no."

Brian Simpson 58:12 No, no, no, no. Ugh. Go watch-

Joe Rogan 58:13 I can't... Yeah, see? There you go. I can't live anymore like that. (laughs) I can't, I can't go through this. Well, I'm gonna have to get electroshock therapy.

Brian Simpson 58:21 Yeah. But, but imagine if you were, if you, if you walk in and, you know, what would... I mean, what would have to happen for you to be a furry, for... What would you have to see?

Joe Rogan 58:28 I don't think it's that.

Brian Simpson 58:29 No?

Joe Rogan 58:30 I think it's, I, I think there's probably, there's probably some social disorder involved in some of those folks too. There's like furry lights which, uh, my kids go to school with.

Brian Simpson 58:40 What does that mean?

Joe Rogan 58:40 There's some kids that wear like, they wear like ears-

Brian Simpson 58:43 Just ears? Okay.

Joe Rogan 58:43 ... and like maybe a tail, and every now and then you see one of those.

Brian Simpson 58:47 Yeah, yeah.

Narrator 58:48 This brony thing might have started as a 4chan troll that spread-

Joe Rogan 58:52 Probably was.

Narrator 58:52 ... too far and got-

Joe Rogan 58:53 4chan rules.

Narrator 58:53 ... out of control, like a few other things have done.

Joe Rogan 58:56 They're the best.

Narrator 58:56 But I can't tell.

Joe Rogan 58:57 Do you see, do you see what they did with the Free Flow, uh, Free B- Bleeding Project?

Brian Simpson 59:01 What is that? Hold on, wait a minute.

Narrator 59:02 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:03 They tricked women into thinking that it's like a sign of feminism to just bleed and not have a tampon or a maxipad.

Brian Simpson 59:09 Oh, like old school?

Joe Rogan 59:11 You just let it go. Free bleeding.

Brian Simpson 59:13 Okay.

Joe Rogan 59:13 And so, they did it as a joke, and then some women adopted it 'cause they thought it was like-

Brian Simpson 59:18 Who did?

Joe Rogan 59:18 ... you know, radical feminist cuckoos.

Brian Simpson 59:21 Okay.

Joe Rogan 59:21 Crazy ladies.

Brian Simpson 59:22 So now free bleeding is like a trend?

Joe Rogan 59:24 No, it didn't last. It's disgusting.

Brian Simpson 59:26 Oh, okay. Okay.

Joe Rogan 59:26 It's probably totally unsanitary, you smell like fish. It's hell. It's hell. What is it, you have a pussy blood running down your fucking pants and you're showing up at the office? You expect to keep your job here at United Health? Get out of here.

Brian Simpson 59:38 (laughs) I mean, I don't think anybody was showing up at no offices. These are def- those are definitely ditches with no jobs.

Narrator 59:42 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:42 At Starbucks, you're showing up at Starbucks? Oh, that's not real.

Narrator 59:45 I don't think that's true.

Brian Simpson 59:45 No way.

Narrator 59:46 It was.

Joe Rogan 59:46 That lady would die.

Brian Simpson 59:47 Well, well, the thing is-

Narrator 59:47 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:47 She was, she would literally be dead. That's like if you shot her with a fucking arrow.

Brian Simpson 59:51 The, the, the thing is, there's no, um...

Joe Rogan 59:53 Is this lady free bleeding?

Narrator 59:54 That's what it's, this is, these are the 4chan posts of people trying to sh- like share it that, okay, it was real, I'm not putting this on this video.

Brian Simpson 59:59 Hm.

Joe Rogan 59:59 Bro, that could be a lady that's just doing a marathon and forgot a tampon, is like, "Fuck it, I'm gonna push through," 'cause I saw one lady who diarrheaed herself.

Narrator 1:00:06 Oh, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:07 It went all down her leg and everything, and she completed that fucking race.

Brian Simpson 1:00:09 Well, the thing is, it's hard to tell what's real-

Joe Rogan 1:00:12 Oh.

Brian Simpson 1:00:12 ... and what's AI.

Joe Rogan 1:00:12 That's real. That's real.

Brian Simpson 1:00:14 Anyways.

Joe Rogan 1:00:14 I saw pussy blood right there. I can tell. I'm an expert.

Brian Simpson 1:00:18 But, but the thing is-

Joe Rogan 1:00:18 (laughs)

Narrator 1:00:18 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 1:00:18 Look, but free bleeding is one thing, but it's like, but just getting, getting your pussy blood every, onto other people's stuff?

Joe Rogan 1:00:23 They don't care.

Brian Simpson 1:00:24 Like, if you're doing that shit at home or in the grass, like whatever.

Joe Rogan 1:00:26 They're marking their territory.

Brian Simpson 1:00:32 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 1:00:32 (laughs) Well, what did people do before they invented tampons? Like, I mean,-

Brian Simpson 1:00:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:35 ... are you supposed to just wash it out? Like, what are you supposed to do?

Brian Simpson 1:00:38 Uh.

Joe Rogan 1:00:38 What does nature want you to do? Like, nature doesn't want you... That's why toxic shock syndrome is a thing, when women have tampons and they leave them up there and then they can get really sick, and women have died-

Brian Simpson 1:00:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:49 ... from toxic shock syndrome from tampons.

Brian Simpson 1:00:51 I don't think people, I don't think people even cared about...

Narrator 1:00:52 This is someone saying... I don't know if this... This might be full satire, but this is someone talking about how it's not made up and it's a real thing.

Joe Rogan 1:00:59 (laughs)

Narrator 1:01:00 And like, 4chan people tried to claim this, they started this.

Joe Rogan 1:01:03 Misogynic users-

Narrator 1:01:04 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:04 ... of the online forum 4chan would claim that they jokingly started the movement in 2014 to see how far they could make angry feminists go. Fake memes and Twitter accounts apparently belonged to feminist activists began posting content about free bleeding. This backfired spectacularly for the 4chan trolls when they unwittingly created a discourse around the normalization of periods. What? The free bleeding movement, whether fake or not, quickly became very real and got women talking about their monthly cycle. Since then, notable moments in the free bleeding movement have included, uh, Kiran Gandhi running the Boston Marathon without, without something? While bleed... Uh, they, they missed something there. It says without, while bleeding through her sport shorts. Uh, poet Rupi Kaur also became notable in the movement when an image of her menstrual blood on her pants and bedsheets was repeatedly removed from Instagram that same year. Imagine, like you're a hero 'cause your pussy blood is on the internet. (laughs) This is, this is so kooky. This sounds like this is satire.

Brian Simpson 1:02:09 Right.

Narrator 1:02:09 That's what I thought.

Joe Rogan 1:02:10 Like, that's...

Narrator 1:02:10 It could be.

Brian Simpson 1:02:10 I mean, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:02:11 Who wrote it? What's it in?

Narrator 1:02:12 It's a blog of-

Brian Simpson 1:02:14 ... I think you, you-

Joe Rogan 1:02:15 Uh-

Brian Simpson 1:02:15 ... I think you have a hard time convincing most women-

Joe Rogan 1:02:18 Yeah, most. But these are crazy people. Like, most people don't wanna fuck wearing a squirrel outfit, but crazy people do. Some people do. I'm not saying furries are crazy. What did, what is the blog, and do they have other things that seem like satire?

Narrator 1:02:31 Um, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:02:31 'Cause that seems like satire.

Narrator 1:02:31 ... I'm not checking... Okay, I'm trying to check.

Joe Rogan 1:02:33 It's hard to tell at the edges. When you get to the edges of radical feminism, radical leftism, and radical right-wing re- you know, patriot front type shit, it's hard to tell what's satire when you get to the edges, when you get to the most extreme examples of any movement.

Brian Simpson 1:02:47 Well, also, everything's, everything's AI now-

Joe Rogan 1:02:49 Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Brian Simpson 1:02:50 ... and people just lie. People just say bullshit.

Joe Rogan 1:02:52 Also, all those, whether it's the right-wing movements, like Proud Boys, or whether it's Antifa, they get infiltrated. Those guys get infiltrated by government officials, 100 fucking percent. I guarantee you there's some FBI agents in Antifa, and I guarantee you there's some FBI agents that are in the Proud Boys.

Brian Simpson 1:03:11 Mm.

Joe Rogan 1:03:13 (coughs) I think the head of the Proud Boys was already outed as, uh, an FBI informant. Isn't that true? I think that, uh, find that out. Google that.

Brian Simpson 1:03:22 Really?

Joe Rogan 1:03:23 Yes.

Brian Simpson 1:03:23 That's not shocking at all.

Joe Rogan 1:03:25 I think-

Brian Simpson 1:03:26 Every single movement gets infiltrated.

Joe Rogan 1:03:27 I think he still went to jail, too. I think he still went to jail for January 6th.

Brian Simpson 1:03:32 Yeah. I mean, they still locked up, uh, free-

Joe Rogan 1:03:35 Let's see. Let, let's see. What does it say? Have the Proud Boys been revealed to have been an FBI informant? Enrico Tarrio. Tarrio served as the national chairman of the Proud Boys from 2018 to 2021 and was a central figure in the group's activities, including its role in the January 6th, 2021 Capitol riot. However, it was later disclosed that Tarrio worked as an informant for federal and local law enforcement agencies between 2012 and 2014 prior to his leadership in the Pl- Proud Boys.

Brian Simpson 1:04:03 Oh, beforehand?

Joe Rogan 1:04:04 That's even crazier. That's even crazier. Like, what, are they telling us the truth? Like, that he's not doing it anymore? It's like, fucking who knows, man? It's, it's layers upon layers. It's those Russian nesting dolls-

Brian Simpson 1:04:18 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:04:18 ... and you open it, and there's another one in there, and you open it, there's another one in there.

Brian Simpson 1:04:21 Corruptions it all the time. Bro, the, the, the, uh, the Epstein files.

Joe Rogan 1:04:26 I heard there's no files. I heard it's a, a hoax.

Brian Simpson 1:04:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:29 And then all of a sudden, he's gonna release the files. Well, I thought there was no files.

Brian Simpson 1:04:32 Man-

Joe Rogan 1:04:32 He wants an investigation now.

Brian Simpson 1:04:34 Listen.

Joe Rogan 1:04:35 Like, what is going on?

Narrator 1:04:35 They voted 427 to one.

Brian Simpson 1:04:38 Who was, who was the one?

Narrator 1:04:40 Uh, he re-... I've, I didn't see why he said, but he did say-

Joe Rogan 1:04:43 National security.

Brian Simpson 1:04:44 (laughs) No fucking way you gonna be the one.

Narrator 1:04:46 National security.

Brian Simpson 1:04:47 No, no way. If you found out-

Joe Rogan 1:04:48 (laughs)

Narrator 1:04:48 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 1:04:48 If you found out all of Congress voted for something and you the only one that didn't-

Joe Rogan 1:04:52 Woo!

Brian Simpson 1:04:52 Can you change your vote?

Joe Rogan 1:04:53 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 1:04:54 You can't be the one, guy.

Joe Rogan 1:04:55 It should be, it should be that it has to be, like, no one can know what the vote is before you do it.

Brian Simpson 1:05:00 Bro, I would love to hear his reason. How you the one?

Joe Rogan 1:05:03 Well, you know, I was feeling like, let's move past it and just get on with our business, and...

Brian Simpson 1:05:09 But you can't move past it.

Joe Rogan 1:05:10 These billionaires are good people. Okay?

Brian Simpson 1:05:12 You can't move past it.

Joe Rogan 1:05:13 They're, they're good, solid people.

Narrator 1:05:14 Clay Higgins was the one.

Joe Rogan 1:05:15 Who?

Narrator 1:05:16 Clay Higgins.

Joe Rogan 1:05:16 Where's he out of?

Brian Simpson 1:05:19 Arkansas.

Narrator 1:05:19 Louisiana.

Joe Rogan 1:05:20 Oh, yeah. There you go.

Brian Simpson 1:05:21 I knew it was one of them.

Joe Rogan 1:05:21 Yeah, yeah. (laughs)

Narrator 1:05:22 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 1:05:23 One of the bottom-

Joe Rogan 1:05:23 Somebody got to him.

Brian Simpson 1:05:24 ... one of the bottom 10 in education or something like that.

Joe Rogan 1:05:26 Somebody got to him. That's crazy, though. Four in and 20 to one.

Brian Simpson 1:05:30 I have been a principle no on this bill from the beginning. What was wrong with the bill three months ago is still wrong.

Joe Rogan 1:05:36 It abandons 250 years of criminal justice procedure in America. As written, this bill reveals and injures thousands of innocent people, witnesses, people who provided alibis, family members, et cetera. If enacted in its current form, this type of broad reveal of criminal investigative files released to a rabid media will absolutely result in innocent people being hurt. Not by my vote. The Oversight Committee is conducting a thorough investigation that has already released well over 60,000 pages of documents from the Epstein case. That effort will continue in a manner that provides all due protections for innocent Americans. If the Senate amends the bill to properly address privacy of victims and/or other Americans who are named but not criminally implicated, then I will vote for that bill when it comes back to the House.

Brian Simpson 1:06:20 He's in that motherfucker.

Joe Rogan 1:06:22 Well, that's a point though, right? Like, there was people that had, like, people that had dinner over at Epstein's house. Like, Epstein had dinners and had celebrities go over his house.

Brian Simpson 1:06:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:31 Like, Chelsea Handler was one of the people that went over his house. I don't think Chelsea Handler is out there molesting kids.

Brian Simpson 1:06:36 No, no, I get... No-

Joe Rogan 1:06:36 You know what I mean?

Brian Simpson 1:06:37 No, I get that. But I think we're, we're past that. We're beyond that point now, because-

Joe Rogan 1:06:43 Right. You just have to be able to say, "Hey, I went to his house for dinner."

Brian Simpson 1:06:45 Yeah. I don't-

Joe Rogan 1:06:46 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 1:06:46 I'm not saying... 'Cause, 'cause people try to do that to you with, like, pictures. They're like, "Is this..." If you was in a picture with somebody and they think-

Joe Rogan 1:06:51 Right.

Brian Simpson 1:06:51 You know? But it's like, it's the difference between being in a picture with somebody and then being in 500 pictures with them.

Joe Rogan 1:06:56 Right.

Brian Simpson 1:06:56 You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 1:06:57 And flying to an island with them.

Brian Simpson 1:06:58 Yeah. I, I think the, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:07:00 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 1:07:00 'Cause this is a big problem, I mean, j- related back to what we were talking about earlier with Hollywood, too, is that I think a lot of, I think a lot of these motherfuckers don't respect the public. They don't respect our intelligence. You know, like, I don't think the average American is smart enough to know the difference between somebody that was just in there or somebody that testified than somebody that was, uh, banging children, you know?

Joe Rogan 1:07:20 See, the thing is, the average American probably can tell the difference, but there are sub-average individuals that all they wanna know is you're on the list, and they hear you're on the list, and they might try to kill you. And that, that is a fact.

Brian Simpson 1:07:33 Yeah. Well, but, but here's the thing. The problem is there-

Joe Rogan 1:07:36 And I'm not advocating for not releasing the files.

Brian Simpson 1:07:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:38 I'm just saying there's eno- enough dumb, nutty people that will think that you're guilty.

Brian Simpson 1:07:43 There, there's, there's been so much obfuscation with this. It would be different if they, if it was no pushback. But there's, I think what's at stake is people's belief in the integrity of the process, you know?

Joe Rogan 1:07:55 That's already cooked.

Brian Simpson 1:07:57 Oh well, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:58 That's already cooked.

Brian Simpson 1:07:58 But whatever, whatever the last little shreds of it that are left is like-

Joe Rogan 1:08:01 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 1:08:01 No more you getting to sift through and to sort. 'Cause he's, the, you know, it's easy to say that. But the truth is, they wanna be able to decide whose names get seen and whose names don't. And people aren't with that. Like, you know?

Joe Rogan 1:08:13 And they shouldn't be with that.

Brian Simpson 1:08:14 Or, or...... we agree with this guy and then he, and then we let them Kennedy joints out. We, we been waiting for them... Think about it, they said the same thing about the Kennedy shit. "Well, we don't wanna hurt..." A- a- and every time they're supposed to release it, they kick it down the