EVERY SPOKEN WORD
150 min read · 30,039 words- 0:00 – 2:27
Kill Tony accolades and the Dr. Phil live show origins
- ARAdam Ray
(drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
- NANarrator
The Joe Rogan Experience.
- JRJoe Rogan
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night.
- ARAdam Ray
Hey. Are we rolling?
- JRJoe Rogan
All day.
- ARAdam Ray
Hopefully. (upbeat music)
- NANarrator
... what's working.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs) Yeah.
- ARAdam Ray
From the, from the back.
- JRJoe Rogan
Part of it was rolling?
- NANarrator
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Adam Ray, my man.
- ARAdam Ray
Great to see you.
- JRJoe Rogan
And, uh, Guest of the Year, Kill Tony. How's it feel?
- ARAdam Ray
Feels great.
- JRJoe Rogan
Did you get a, a, a belt or anything? Some sort of a cup?
- ARAdam Ray
I should've.
- JRJoe Rogan
Just some sort of a cup, like a-
- ARAdam Ray
Fucking dude-
- JRJoe Rogan
... Stanley Cup.
- ARAdam Ray
... Tony, always shortchanging the gifts.
- JRJoe Rogan
That motherfucker.
- ARAdam Ray
Uh, that was the last time I saw you, I think. When I was-
- JRJoe Rogan
You should get a jacket, that's what it should be, Guest of the Year.
- ARAdam Ray
That's not a great idea.
- JRJoe Rogan
That's a great idea.
- ARAdam Ray
We made these, um, for the end of the Phil, Dr. Phil, um, tour, which by the way, we have our very last one at The Wiltern on December 16th, if anyone wants to-
- JRJoe Rogan
Have you ever had Dr. Phil on as a guest?
- ARAdam Ray
Yes. Remember, for the Netflix special.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, that's right. (laughs)
- 2:27 – 3:02
Why comedians must be able to take a joke (mean vs funny)
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah. And, and laughing at yourself is such a... Man, I'm... You know what I'm saying? Like, it, I started talking about this on stage where it's just like the people that I am friends with that like, that, that aren't comics, that I'll be in, you know, hangs with, that like if I, you know, bust their balls and they get a little weird about it, it's like, "Oh, man." Like, "You're a bummer not only for right now in the hang, but just, this bleeds into other facets of your life."
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, for sure.
- ARAdam Ray
You gotta be s- being self-deprecating, and you know, within context obviously, if someone's just, you know, you know, just making fun at you, you know-
- JRJoe Rogan
Just being mean.
- ARAdam Ray
... just being mean. There's a difference.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. There's a difference between being mean and being funny.
- 3:02 – 5:46
Adam Ray as Tony Hinchcliffe: building a character that looks 'eerie'
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah. But like, like Tony for example, like doing Tony on Kill Tony.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- ARAdam Ray
I remember I was in Portland, uh, or in Eugene at my buddy's club, Olsen Run Comedy Club, shout out, great club. And I'm there and I tell the story about how Shane and, uh, I, the Biden Trump thing came together. 'Cause a buddy of mine asked me, he's like, "You and Shane must do, uh, have been best friends for like 10 years ago." We literally, that was probably the sixth time we've ever talked to each other. So we're getting to know each other in full make-up for two plus hours, that's a weird way to build a fucking friendship.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. But-
- ARAdam Ray
And so I had-
- JRJoe Rogan
... you guys are so good at bouncing off of crowds-
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... and off of each other, it was seamless.
- ARAdam Ray
Right.
- JRJoe Rogan
It was really fun, man.
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah, there's something cool about jumping in the bit boat with somebody that's just like, "Oh, I just want to make the other person laugh."
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- ARAdam Ray
Like I got comfy 'cause he's Shane. He'd been nice about the Phil stuff, but like, you know, he, he was definitely established as Shane Gillis, so it's like, and it's Trump, and Biden's trying to find... I'm trying to find my ways to be a sniper when he's not known for being funny. But as soon as I got out there and I had the frozen eyes and I was like, and Shane started to break, I, that made me feel really comfortable, when Shane like couldn't keep it together.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- ARAdam Ray
But so my, this kid in line at the meet and greet goes, "You should do, uh, Tony on Kill Tony," 'cause I tell the story of how Tony was like, "Shane's gonna do Trump, you gotta do Biden. I bought a new vest. It's going down, baby." You know, I do all that.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- ARAdam Ray
And the guy's like, "You should do Tony." And I was like, I kind of scoffed it off. And then I texted him and I said, "What would you think about me dressing up as you?" And he just texts me back in all caps, "ABSOLUTELY." (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- ARAdam Ray
"It'll be your best character yet." (laughs) And then...
- JRJoe Rogan
But we...
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
While we're doing this, um, unfortunately people can't see anything, so you know, they just see us.
- ARAdam Ray
Oh, that's right.
- JRJoe Rogan
But I, I want to show-
- ARAdam Ray
Okay.
- JRJoe Rogan
... 'cause it's so crazy-
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... how close you get to him.
- ARAdam Ray
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
It's kind of eerie.
- 5:46 – 7:31
Pitching a new character: “Johnny Depp as a pirate” on Kill Tony
- ARAdam Ray
You know what was the best? Is, uh, Woody Harrelson was there that night and comes up to me after and he's like, uh, he's like, "Man." He's like, "That shit was fucking crazy, man." He's like, "I don't know what was going on or what you had to do." I was like, "I watched the intro a bunch. I've known Tony since we both started." And he goes, "You kinda got a little Johnny Depp going on with that thing." So then I started going, I go, "Woody," I go, "Maybe I am Johnny Depp. Maybe I'm Johnny playing Tony." And then he was like, "What the fuck, man?" (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
Bro, you should totally do that. Johnny as the pirate.
- ARAdam Ray
... that's not a bad idea.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's a fucking great idea.
- ARAdam Ray
Wow.
- JRJoe Rogan
I just heard your accent.
- ARAdam Ray
On Kill Tony?
- JRJoe Rogan
100%.
- ARAdam Ray
In full pirate garb?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yes.
- NANarrator
Jack Sparrow.
- ARAdam Ray
Holy-
- JRJoe Rogan
Just come out Jack Sparrow.
- ARAdam Ray
I'm a big fan of Horns Coom. Horns Coom must be- (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
Yes, dude.
- ARAdam Ray
That's a great idea.
- JRJoe Rogan
100%.
- ARAdam Ray
Okay, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Has to be done.
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah, real understated, but re-
- JRJoe Rogan
Has to be done.
- ARAdam Ray
Wow, okay.
- JRJoe Rogan
That is your next big character.
- ARAdam Ray
Oh, my god.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, my god, the Amber Heard jokes are endless.
- ARAdam Ray
Oh, my god.
- JRJoe Rogan
Endless well.
- ARAdam Ray
Oh, my god. I was just like-
- JRJoe Rogan
Endless well.
- ARAdam Ray
... "Man, what sort of a pot could he pull from to kind of-"
- 7:31 – 9:59
Animals and stage props: the rented owl + Comedy Store character experiments
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah. We did, I did just, uh... So I tried to do this new character called Bruce Robbins at The Comedy Store. He's like a mentalist magician. And it's gonna drop on my YouTube in a couple weeks. And I rented an owl for 1,200 bucks. A, like, Eur- Harlan said he knew the type of owl. Harlan was on the show too. A Eurasian, I think, owl. He said it's the biggest owl.
- JRJoe Rogan
Huh. Whoa.
- ARAdam Ray
This thing was... So the whole bit was this character Bruce Robbins, he's got, like, a big blond coif, big buck teeth and kind, you know, kind of from the South. Talks like this real fast, you know. And, you know, I'm a magician. I'm a for- former real estate agent too, but, you know, magic is my healing power. And so the bit was bringing out this owl that was, like, a psychic owl. And so people would ask it questions, but I had my buddy who does a really good Morgan Freeman do voiceover. So then I would hold the mic up to the owl's face and then you would play the Morgan Freeman. So, like, if somebody goes, uh, you know, "How many, uh..." Or, "Is..." Somebody asked, "Is democracy, uh," you know, "is democracy ruined or are we gonna save it in this country?" And we had a bunch of canned responses. And so then it, I go, "Archie, what do you think about," Archie the Psychic Owl, "is democracy gonna be saved or ruined?" And then you just hear Morgan Freeman go, "Gay."
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- ARAdam Ray
I go, "Thanks for, thanks for... Any other questions we got?" You know.
- JRJoe Rogan
Ah.
- ARAdam Ray
But, uh, but a real parrot for Johnny Depp would be wild. May- or maybe just a fake one.
- JRJoe Rogan
I don't, I don't think parrots would enjoy that. It'd probably be animal cruelty.
- ARAdam Ray
It probably would.
- JRJoe Rogan
The large crowd of people screaming and cheering.
- ARAdam Ray
And what's your, what's your creature, uh, you know, do you have any, has anyone brought... What's the craziest thing someone's brought into the Mothership for, like, a... I guess-
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, like, an animal? No one's ever brought an animal, man.
- ARAdam Ray
I'm, I'm trying to think too-
- JRJoe Rogan
Except Paul, Pauly brings his dog sometimes, but he's got a sweet dog.
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
And J- um, um, Ron's brought his dog a bunch of times.
- ARAdam Ray
Right.
- JRJoe Rogan
Ron's got a cute little dog.
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah. And I'm trying to think when we did a Dr. Phil at the Mothership, we didn't have too many crazy elements.
- JRJoe Rogan
You ever work with Liza?
- ARAdam Ray
Schlesinger? Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
She-
- ARAdam Ray
We did a game show with her back in the day.
- JRJoe Rogan
She'd make you hold her dog.
- ARAdam Ray
We used to make her always hold a dog. I know.
- JRJoe Rogan
She'd just, like, give you a dog-
- ARAdam Ray
I know.
- JRJoe Rogan
... before she goes on stage.
- ARAdam Ray
I know.
- JRJoe Rogan
"Take my dog." And be like, "Okay."
- 9:59 – 10:52
Online outrage culture: BlueSky, ‘zen’ accusations, and hypersensitivity
- JRJoe Rogan
Bro, you ever been on Blue Sky?
- ARAdam Ray
What's that?
- JRJoe Rogan
Blue Sky is, like, the ultra super liberal Twitter. For people who are like, "Twitter's filled with Nazis."
- ARAdam Ray
Right.
- JRJoe Rogan
Then they ran over to Blue Sky. Uh, some guy wrote, "I'm just trying to be zen about it." And then someone under that wrote, "How about try not to be racist against Asians?"
- ARAdam Ray
Wow.
- JRJoe Rogan
For saying zen.
- ARAdam Ray
For saying zen. That's, I don't like that.
- JRJoe Rogan
That's crazy.
- ARAdam Ray
That's crazy.
- JRJoe Rogan
That was one of the wildest-
- ARAdam Ray
Zen-
- JRJoe Rogan
... like, reaches I've ever seen in my life. Zen is a state of mind.
- ARAdam Ray
Zen is one of the best words to describe being-
- JRJoe Rogan
How can that-
- ARAdam Ray
... tranquil or-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yes.
- ARAdam Ray
... serene, right, is another one.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Repair.
- ARAdam Ray
God damn.
- JRJoe Rogan
Or Zen and the Art of Archery. They're great books.
- ARAdam Ray
I was just talking about how my dogs are my, like, zen happy place. Which, by the way-
- JRJoe Rogan
Imagine thinking that saying that is racist.
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah, that's bananas.
- JRJoe Rogan
But that's how crazy, this is, like, what you're dealing with with humans out there.
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Some people are just off the reservation.
- 10:52 – 12:54
Dogs vs kids: attachment, touring guilt, and parenthood changing compassion
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah. You, you posted something recently or maybe you said something on a pod about, like, your love for Marshall. And I wanted to bring this up because we're thinking about finally trying to have kids. My wife's had to go through some stuff to get us in a place to, you know, where, uh, where it's all right on that front.
- JRJoe Rogan
Satanic rituals, right?
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah, yeah. (laughs) Yeah, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Goat sacrifice.
- ARAdam Ray
Yes, goat sacrifice.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- ARAdam Ray
She did play some song recently that, that s- it was some, maybe an Ariana Grande or something song. And I go, I go, "Are we sacrificing a lamb in the backyard? What the fuck is this?" It was just so, it made me feel so old 'cause it was so just (beat boxes) . And I was like, "I just don't, I don't know who this is." But we're getting close to having kids and we have two dogs and I'm like, I get emotional leaving the dogs, dude.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm.
- ARAdam Ray
I mean, it's, it's bad. Like, and I don't even know how it's gonna be with kids. I mean, and you can probably attest to that with this.
- JRJoe Rogan
When you go on the road?
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. Uh.
- ARAdam Ray
I have trouble leaving.
- JRJoe Rogan
You can't even compare. When I go on the road, I w- I know someone's taking care of my dog and he's gonna be great.
- ARAdam Ray
Right.
- JRJoe Rogan
He's a sweetheart and he's great with everybody.
- ARAdam Ray
Yes.
- JRJoe Rogan
I never worry about him.
- ARAdam Ray
Right.
- JRJoe Rogan
Uh, kids are a totally different thing.
- ARAdam Ray
Totally different beast.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, my god.
- ARAdam Ray
Fuck.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's like you don't even, you can't even imagine how much-
- ARAdam Ray
I'm telling-
- JRJoe Rogan
... you're gonna love them. It's just, it's, it changes you as a human being because then you start to realize that everybody was a baby. And that most of these fucked up people in the world, they just got a bad deck of cards.
- ARAdam Ray
It's a great way to put it.
- JRJoe Rogan
And they've just been handed a shit sandwich every fucking day of their life.
- ARAdam Ray
Everybody was, yeah, man.
- JRJoe Rogan
And then you run into them and maybe you're lucky. You had really nice parents.
- 12:54 – 22:50
Lottery as legalized gambling: odds, payouts, and Perplexity fact-checking
- JRJoe Rogan
Imagine if they said, "No, you can't." The lottery is the craziest scam.
- ARAdam Ray
It's so wild.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's legalized gambling.
- ARAdam Ray
Yep.
- JRJoe Rogan
Everybody does it.
- ARAdam Ray
But you know what it is? It could be you.
- JRJoe Rogan
It could be you.
- ARAdam Ray
That's the slogan that makes people go, "I never thought of it like that."
- JRJoe Rogan
But it's the dumbest scam, 'cause you have millions of people trying to win. And like, at least in Blackjack, you've got like a 40% chance-
- ARAdam Ray
Totally.
- JRJoe Rogan
... of winning. You know, you have like fucking no chance of winning.
- ARAdam Ray
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
You're just donating money-
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... hoping that you're the one person out of 5 million.
- ARAdam Ray
May- maybe even more.
- JRJoe Rogan
Maybe more.
- ARAdam Ray
Sometimes the odds I feel like s- are, have been in like the seven billions, it's like there's a better-
- JRJoe Rogan
Let's ask. Let's find out how many people go, like let's find a lottery, like a big one.
- ARAdam Ray
Okay.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like what's a big one?
- ARAdam Ray
Uh, Colorado State maybe? Uh-
- JRJoe Rogan
Like what are the big ones that you hear on the news that get to-
- NANarrator
The Powerball? Or-
- ARAdam Ray
The Powerball.
- JRJoe Rogan
The Powerball, okay let's say Pow- Powerball's o- that's a huge one.
- ARAdam Ray
They nailed it with the title too.
- JRJoe Rogan
Okay. Let's guess here, let's-
- ARAdam Ray
Hmm.
- JRJoe Rogan
... let's say, how, let's find out how much, how many people get paid out and how many people buy lottery tickets. How many lottery tickets are sold?
- 22:50 – 26:10
What money does to people: taxes, annuities, and why Rogan would take the lump sum
- JRJoe Rogan
So, if you want to get the $2 billion, it's probably like... How- what is the actual... Let's find this out. What's the actual payout schedule that you can-
- ARAdam Ray
Good question.
- JRJoe Rogan
... accept either the payments where they just pay you, like, your c-... "We got two billion coming your way, guaranteed. Promise you."
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
"But we're gonna give you a little every month."
- ARAdam Ray
Feels like the-
- JRJoe Rogan
But wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
- ARAdam Ray
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
What did you do with the 111 million tickets you sold, motherfucker?
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
You sold 111 million tickets. What'd you do with that money? Where's that money?
- ARAdam Ray
(laughs) Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
How about give me all of that?
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah, no shit.
- JRJoe Rogan
The fuck are you doing?
- ARAdam Ray
No shit.
- JRJoe Rogan
What is this?
- NANarrator
It's like a 30-year annuity option.
- JRJoe Rogan
30 years.
- ARAdam Ray
Wow.
- JRJoe Rogan
They wanna pay you for 30 years.
- ARAdam Ray
Would you take that or just take the-
- JRJoe Rogan
Nice and slow.
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah. (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
That's the way we do it, see. Nice and slow.
- ARAdam Ray
Nice and slow. (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
So-
- NANarrator
Uh, is this act... I gotta see this act. I didn't... This says this option pays out the full advertised jackpot amount.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, it's a different one?
- NANarrator
I didn't know that. Let me see if that's real.
- 26:10 – 30:54
Joe’s private investigator job: fraud surveillance and bizarre cheating cases
- JRJoe Rogan
Especially at a young age, 'cause if you're, like... So, let's go back to, like, when I was, like, 22.
- ARAdam Ray
Mm-hmm.
- JRJoe Rogan
I was 22. Uh, I was working odd jobs while I was doing standup at night. I was, uh, working for a private investigator. I was like, maybe I was making-
- ARAdam Ray
Whoa.
- JRJoe Rogan
... 20 bucks an hour.
- ARAdam Ray
Wait.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, maybe.
- ARAdam Ray
Did you really do that?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, I drove around a private investigator.
- ARAdam Ray
Holy shit.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, he was a, a good friend for years. Like, he died recently. Uh, his name's-
- ARAdam Ray
I'm sorry.
- JRJoe Rogan
... Dave Dolan. He was, he's the best. I kept one of my old phones just 'cause he left me a message. He used to call himself Dynamite Dickless Dave Dolan.
- ARAdam Ray
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
He, he was, he was a hilarious guy, the funniest guy that I've ever met that wasn't a comedian. He was so funny.
- ARAdam Ray
I love that.
- JRJoe Rogan
He was so funny. And the crazy thing is, what happened was, he lost his license from drunk driving. And, uh, he put in an ad for a private investigator's assistant, but really what it was is someone to drive him, 'cause he couldn't drive.
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
'Cause he was, you know, lost his license-
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... for, like, I forget how long, like, three months or something like that. So, um, I, I sign up for the job. I meet him, you know. This was back when I was still competing. I was still fighting, so he liked that I could, like, fuck people up-
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... if something went sideways.
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
And so then we would go, and most of it was insurance fraud. It was mostly, like, catching people, like, doing things, like, um, pretending their back was hurt. Then you'd catch them carrying roof shingles up a ladder. It was a lot of that. Um, people, they, they get hurt, like, working for an airline. This one lady... Oh, this was so sad, 'cause she let us into her house. I felt so bad.
- ARAdam Ray
Mm.
- JRJoe Rogan
We would, it was a scam, and the scam was, Dave would show up and say, um, "Ma'am, uh, my girlfriend was in an accident, and when the police took the license plate of the witness, someone spilled coffee on the report, and it's confusing which letters are the last letters, and one of them is yours."
- ARAdam Ray
Mm.
- JRJoe Rogan
"He, we got these two. They weren't right. We're hoping it's you." And they were like, "What's, what's wrong with your girlfriend?" And he goes, "Well, she's got this injury," which is exactly the same injury that this lady had that she was supposedly getting, uh... that she was, you know, disabled from.
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah.
- 30:54 – 39:21
Shaq, combat sports, and why MMA can’t compete with major league pipelines
- ARAdam Ray
(laughs) Have you had Shaq on?
- JRJoe Rogan
No, I'd love to have him on. I love that dude.
- ARAdam Ray
That would be, um-
- JRJoe Rogan
He did Fear Factor with me.
- ARAdam Ray
... no way.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, he co-hosted Fear Factor one day, one episode.
- ARAdam Ray
That would be an unbelievable conversation.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, it was, like, me and him hanging... I had a joke, I was, uh, it was like a six-year-old's hanging out with his dad. (laughs)
- ARAdam Ray
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, the size of it. I had a joke about, uh, a lady, um, guarding the White House, 'cause it was during the Obama Administration-
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... uh, a guy broke into the White House and they had a lady, an unarmed lady at the front door.
- ARAdam Ray
Sure.
- JRJoe Rogan
And I had this whole joke about, l- like, not everybody can guard the White House.
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
And, like, listen, I've met Shaquille O'Neal, his dick is where my face is.
- ARAdam Ray
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
So I'm like, if the White House is experiencing a Shaq attack-
- ARAdam Ray
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
... I'm the wrong dude to save the world.
- ARAdam Ray
Oh my god.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, he's just gonna run over me-
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah, dude.
- JRJoe Rogan
... he's too big.
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
You know, but that guy, when you're, you're hanging out with him, you're like, "Okay, giants are real. Like, there's real giants in this world."
- ARAdam Ray
Totally.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, look at this. (laughs)
- ARAdam Ray
Oh, you did at uni too, that's awesome.
- JRJoe Rogan
Ah. Oh yeah, it was fun. He, but he's a fan of the show. He was real cool.
- 39:21 – 43:59
Baseball tangents: MVP debates, steroids, and freak bird collisions
- ARAdam Ray
My, uh, my buddy, I'm actually wearing his hoodie, Cal Raleigh, his nickname is the Big Dumper. And he-
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- ARAdam Ray
... had... He just lost the MVP to Aaron Judge by, like, four votes, but he had... And it was a big dispute, big debate because he's a switch-hitting catcher, he's a catcher, he hit 60 home runs this year.
- JRJoe Rogan
Whoa.
- ARAdam Ray
The most by any catcher ever. He... The most by any switch-hitting, um, catcher, uh, s- switch-hitting player. He broke, um, he just broke so many records. Aaron Judge ultimately won the MVP because statistically he was o- outrageous in so many categories, but it was a big debate. I'm biased, Cal's the man. Um, but also, you know, a catcher is handling so much more during the game.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- ARAdam Ray
Aaron Judge played the outfield and then... Aaron Judge looks like if Four Loko grew into a person. Cal Raleigh is like... You wanna have a Bud Light with, he's a fucking everyman. He won the Home Run Derby. His dad who was his high school baseball coach was throwing pitches to him during... It was a better story for baseball, but I actually wanted to get your opinion on this. If you are going... 'Cause I think the writers were just like, "Stats." Like, Cal batted, like, .246, Judge was, like, .380 something, I think, to end the year. But again, Cal, like, broke all these records and for a catcher, and, like, made baseball cool and, like, put, you know, gave, um, a position a lot more love. And he's calling the whole game. He has to know the whole pitching staff. He comes in early. He's, he's catching the game, which is why it's unheard of for a catcher to be that offensively, you know, uh, powerful. But, um, he ultimately lost and a lot of people were bummed, uh, out about it. And, uh, I guess my question to you is if you were one of those, like... If you're assessing stuff like that, do you take into account, like, you know, what someone's impact for the game is or, uh, d- would you just go like, "No, no, who had the best stats?" And that's the MVP.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, it's a good conversation, right?
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's a good conversation. I always-
- ARAdam Ray
Do you follow baseball enough to fuck with that?
- JRJoe Rogan
No, I don't.
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah. All right, let's move on.
- JRJoe Rogan
But if I... But-
- ARAdam Ray
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
... objectively I would say go with the best stats.
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
The guy who's played the best.
- ARAdam Ray
I guess.
- JRJoe Rogan
That's the most valuable player.
- ARAdam Ray
But a switch-hitting catcher, dude.
- JRJoe Rogan
Look, it's a very valuable thing.
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's just not the most valuable thing.
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah. You know what they gave a lot of credit to is, like, judges, uh, in New York on the Yankees, and they get so much press and so much love. And Seattle's up here in the corner, right? Furthest away, like-
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- ARAdam Ray
... everyone's just like, "Isn't that the fucking coffee Soundgarden place?" And it's like, "There's a catcher up there?" I mean, yeah. I don't know. I do- that stuff I think does matter, the, the national attention.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm.
- ARAdam Ray
But, um, I don't know.
- JRJoe Rogan
There was a guy that was a really good baseball player that became a martial artist and had a wicked right hand, this Japanese guy, Takanori Gomi. And, uh-
- 43:59 – 1:01:45
Pop culture time capsule: Twilight, romance novels, Weird Science, Soul Man, and tanning pills
- JRJoe Rogan
Isn't that wild? Chicks like reading their porn.
- ARAdam Ray
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
You know that?
- ARAdam Ray
Great premise.
- JRJoe Rogan
It w- it's true.
- ARAdam Ray
It is.
- JRJoe Rogan
It is true. Like, guys like watching porn-
- ARAdam Ray
Before porn, that's what it was.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. Well, girls have always been into erotic literature. And some of it's like... The... You remember the Fifty Shades of Grey stuff?
- ARAdam Ray
Come on, man. That was like-
- JRJoe Rogan
All of a sudden, ladies wanted to get spit on and choked.
- ARAdam Ray
(gasps)
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, "What's happening?"
- ARAdam Ray
(sighs)
- JRJoe Rogan
My friends would tell me these stories like, "She told me to spit in her mouth." I was like, "What? Did you do it?"
- ARAdam Ray
I know my stepdad was like, "Your mom wants me to push her against the drywall." I was like, "What?"
- JRJoe Rogan
What the fuck? (laughs)
- ARAdam Ray
I'm... Yeah. (laughs) This is an inside job, George.
- JRJoe Rogan
It got real weird for a while.
- ARAdam Ray
It did. Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
But then it kinda died off and went back into the shadows. But romance novels, like pornographic romance novels-
- ARAdam Ray
That was the first wave.
- JRJoe Rogan
... they're s- but they're not pornographic like visually. Even like the way they depict sex is like a feminine-
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... way of doing it.
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
But it's-
- ARAdam Ray
But Fifty Shades of Grey, I think, was like-
- JRJoe Rogan
That was graphic.
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah.
- 1:01:45 – 1:13:15
Performance enhancement rabbit hole: Bonds, cycling drugs, and the Icarus/Sochi scandal
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah. That's why I'm so split on the baseball steroid stuff, where it's like, Barry Bonds, yeah, he took-
- JRJoe Rogan
It's the only thing fun about the game.
- ARAdam Ray
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
Give him the 'roids.
- ARAdam Ray
Give him the 'roids.
- JRJoe Rogan
Let him hit the ball. Are we fucking stupid?
- ARAdam Ray
Ugh.
- JRJoe Rogan
Do you wanna compete with China or no?
- ARAdam Ray
That's so funny.
- JRJoe Rogan
'Merica! Do we have the means? Yes, we do. Do we know how it works? Yes, we do. But what are we doing skinny?
- ARAdam Ray
That's so funny.
- JRJoe Rogan
What are we, what do we got all these skinny hitters for?
- ARAdam Ray
That's so funny.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, we gotta make sure no one's cheating.
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Make it legal.
- ARAdam Ray
Hit all the home runs.
- JRJoe Rogan
Make it legal. Make it mandatory. I want every baseball player, player-
- ARAdam Ray
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
... to be roided out of his mind. Just giant, fucking, superhero-looking dudes who crush it into the fucking parking lot.
- ARAdam Ray
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
Crack! I want baseball bats broken-
- ARAdam Ray
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... like five out of 10 games.
- ARAdam Ray
Greg Giraldo had a great old joke. He goes, "I want Barry Bonds to come out as one giant chest muscle."
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- ARAdam Ray
And he was ta- and he was saying how it's so fucked that Congress was like cracking down on that and taking away records. He goes, "You're taking away records." He goes, he goes, "You know what else?" He goes, "'Cause they say it's an elicit substance. You know what else is an elicit substance? Crack cocaine. No one's taking gold records away from Whitney Houston."
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- ARAdam Ray
(laughs) One of my favorite Giraldo jokes. That's a great joke. Come on. Oh. But he's right. That's a great joke. I mean, and, and, and you're right, I think. I mean it, it is, for months-
- JRJoe Rogan
I did a TV show with Barry Bonds. I did a-
Episode duration: 2:18:00
Install uListen for AI-powered chat & search across the full episode — Get Full Transcript
Transcript of episode Z-MIlZvjpus
