Joe Rogan Experience #2415 - Adam Ray

Adam Ray 0:00 (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

Narrator 0:04 The Joe Rogan Experience.

Joe Rogan 0:06 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night.

Adam Ray 0:09 Hey. Are we rolling?

Joe Rogan 0:09 All day.

Adam Ray 0:10 Hopefully. (upbeat music)

Narrator 0:12 ... what's working.

Joe Rogan 0:15 (laughs) Yeah.

Adam Ray 0:15 From the, from the back.

Joe Rogan 0:17 Part of it was rolling?

Narrator 0:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:18 Adam Ray, my man.

Adam Ray 0:19 Great to see you.

Joe Rogan 0:21 And, uh, Guest of the Year, Kill Tony. How's it feel?

Adam Ray 0:23 Feels great.

Joe Rogan 0:24 Did you get a, a, a belt or anything? Some sort of a cup?

Adam Ray 0:26 I should've.

Joe Rogan 0:27 Just some sort of a cup, like a-

Adam Ray 0:28 Fucking dude-

Joe Rogan 0:28 ... Stanley Cup.

Adam Ray 0:28 ... Tony, always shortchanging the gifts.

Joe Rogan 0:30 That motherfucker.

Adam Ray 0:31 Uh, that was the last time I saw you, I think. When I was-

Joe Rogan 0:33 You should get a jacket, that's what it should be, Guest of the Year.

Adam Ray 0:34 That's not a great idea.

Joe Rogan 0:35 That's a great idea.

Adam Ray 0:36 We made these, um, for the end of the Phil, Dr. Phil, um, tour, which by the way, we have our very last one at The Wiltern on December 16th, if anyone wants to-

Joe Rogan 0:43 Have you ever had Dr. Phil on as a guest?

Adam Ray 0:45 Yes. Remember, for the Netflix special.

Joe Rogan 0:46 Oh, that's right. (laughs)

Adam Ray 0:47 Yeah. Yeah. (laughs) He went-

Joe Rogan 0:49 Ah.

Adam Ray 0:49 ... it was so funny. We were in the green room, I met him like an hour before and he goes, uh, he goes, "Now, it's your show, but I'm gonna fuck with you." And I'm dressed as him and I go, "Well, I know you better than you know yourself, motherfucker, so strap in."

Joe Rogan 1:01 (laughs)

Adam Ray 1:01 And he was like, "Oh, shit." And he was dying laughing. But the last time I saw you, I think I was Tony, right?

Joe Rogan 1:06 Right.

Adam Ray 1:06 At the Mothership.

Joe Rogan 1:07 Yeah. The difference is like doing it on your show, when you're doing the Dr. Phil show.

Adam Ray 1:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:12 Yeah, that's a different thing.

Adam Ray 1:13 I felt oddly... You know, the whole show's improvised, so it's a wild thing to do an unscripted show with somebody you have no rapport with.

Joe Rogan 1:22 Right.

Adam Ray 1:23 When I've had-

Joe Rogan 1:24 And you're doing an impression of him.

Adam Ray 1:25 Totally. So I'm trying to go, I think everything I'm gonna do is hunky-dory with him, but like-

Joe Rogan 1:32 (laughs)

Adam Ray 1:32 ... I don't know if I'm gonna press the wrong button. Like at one point, I think we s- he said something where I go, I go, "Well, marriage is tough." I go, "But we keep it fresh in the bedroom, right?" And he goes, "Okay, well, watch yourself." And I go... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:44 (laughs)

Adam Ray 1:45 I was like, "We don't use butt plugs?" And he... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:47 Ah.

Adam Ray 1:47 But he was, he was such a, he rolled with everything, man. It's-

Joe Rogan 1:50 I'm good friends with his son.

Adam Ray 1:52 Jordan?

Joe Rogan 1:53 Jay.

Adam Ray 1:53 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:54 Yeah.

Adam Ray 1:54 I've gotten to know, uh, Jordan, uh, who kind of helped facilitate the whole thing. He kinda got in his ear and was like, "This thing is pretty awesome and it's making you..."

Joe Rogan 2:05 (laughs)

Adam Ray 2:05 You know, it's...

Joe Rogan 2:05 Making both of them famous.

Adam Ray 2:06 Totally. And not, and, and I'm just glad that... Because you never know, like I could've, two days in, gotten a letter that was-

Joe Rogan 2:13 A legal letter, yeah.

Adam Ray 2:14 ... just like, "Enough's enough."

Joe Rogan 2:15 (laughs)

Adam Ray 2:15 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:16 Easily.

Adam Ray 2:16 We, I, I actually entered the Netflix special with showing his signed contract like to the camera, being like, "Look, no cease and desist."

Joe Rogan 2:24 Ah.

Adam Ray 2:24 But you know, you never know. But it's-

Joe Rogan 2:26 He's-

Adam Ray 2:26 ... parody...

Joe Rogan 2:26 He's a really good guy.

Adam Ray 2:27 Yeah. And, and laughing at yourself is such a... Man, I'm... You know what I'm saying? Like, it, I started talking about this on stage where it's just like the people that I am friends with that like, that, that aren't comics, that I'll be in, you know, hangs with, that like if I, you know, bust their balls and they get a little weird about it, it's like, "Oh, man." Like, "You're a bummer not only for right now in the hang, but just, this bleeds into other facets of your life."

Joe Rogan 2:52 Oh, for sure.

Adam Ray 2:52 You gotta be s- being self-deprecating, and you know, within context obviously, if someone's just, you know, you know, just making fun at you, you know-

Joe Rogan 2:59 Just being mean.

Adam Ray 3:00 ... just being mean. There's a difference.

Joe Rogan 3:01 Yeah. There's a difference between being mean and being funny.

Adam Ray 3:02 Yeah. But like, like Tony for example, like doing Tony on Kill Tony.

Joe Rogan 3:06 (laughs)

Adam Ray 3:06 I remember I was in Portland, uh, or in Eugene at my buddy's club, Olsen Run Comedy Club, shout out, great club. And I'm there and I tell the story about how Shane and, uh, I, the Biden Trump thing came together. 'Cause a buddy of mine asked me, he's like, "You and Shane must do, uh, have been best friends for like 10 years ago." We literally, that was probably the sixth time we've ever talked to each other. So we're getting to know each other in full make-up for two plus hours, that's a weird way to build a fucking friendship.

Joe Rogan 3:30 Yeah. But-

Adam Ray 3:30 And so I had-

Joe Rogan 3:31 ... you guys are so good at bouncing off of crowds-

Adam Ray 3:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:34 ... and off of each other, it was seamless.

Adam Ray 3:36 Right.

Joe Rogan 3:36 It was really fun, man.

Adam Ray 3:37 Yeah, there's something cool about jumping in the bit boat with somebody that's just like, "Oh, I just want to make the other person laugh."

Joe Rogan 3:41 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Adam Ray 3:42 Like I got comfy 'cause he's Shane. He'd been nice about the Phil stuff, but like, you know, he, he was definitely established as Shane Gillis, so it's like, and it's Trump, and Biden's trying to find... I'm trying to find my ways to be a sniper when he's not known for being funny. But as soon as I got out there and I had the frozen eyes and I was like, and Shane started to break, I, that made me feel really comfortable, when Shane like couldn't keep it together.

Joe Rogan 4:04 (laughs)

Adam Ray 4:04 But so my, this kid in line at the meet and greet goes, "You should do, uh, Tony on Kill Tony," 'cause I tell the story of how Tony was like, "Shane's gonna do Trump, you gotta do Biden. I bought a new vest. It's going down, baby." You know, I do all that.

Joe Rogan 4:16 Yeah.

Adam Ray 4:16 And the guy's like, "You should do Tony." And I was like, I kind of scoffed it off. And then I texted him and I said, "What would you think about me dressing up as you?" And he just texts me back in all caps, "ABSOLUTELY." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:28 (laughs)

Adam Ray 4:28 "It'll be your best character yet." (laughs) And then...

Joe Rogan 4:31 But we...

Adam Ray 4:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:32 While we're doing this, um, unfortunately people can't see anything, so you know, they just see us.

Adam Ray 4:37 Oh, that's right.

Joe Rogan 4:37 But I, I want to show-

Adam Ray 4:39 Okay.

Joe Rogan 4:39 ... 'cause it's so crazy-

Adam Ray 4:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:41 ... how close you get to him.

Adam Ray 4:43 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:43 It's kind of eerie.

Adam Ray 4:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:44 Like I didn't see it in... How, your face structure changed.

Adam Ray 4:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:48 Like you look like a different person.

Adam Ray 4:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:49 It was like you, you had become Tony.

Adam Ray 4:52 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:52 Like you do a weird thing when you do characters.

Adam Ray 4:54 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 4:54 Like you, you oddly become that person.

Adam Ray 4:57 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:57 Wait, give me some volume on this.

Adam Ray 4:59 Brand new episode of Kill Tony- Oh, the beginning, yeah. ... give it up for Tony Hinchcliffe. (upbeat music)

Joe Rogan 5:03 (laughs)

Adam Ray 5:06 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:11 Oh my god, dude.

Adam Ray 5:16 Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:24 (laughs) Bro, it's like you've got a different face.

Adam Ray 5:27 Yeah. Well they-

Joe Rogan 5:27 You did something weird. You did something weird.

Adam Ray 5:29 Yeah, they taped my ears back a little bit-

Joe Rogan 5:32 Oh, to make the face-

Adam Ray 5:32 ... to push his ears out. And then-

Joe Rogan 5:34 ... more narrow.

Adam Ray 5:34 ... the teeth are the same. I just got the clothes. Now the hair, I mean-

Joe Rogan 5:37 Oh, you, you look oddly like him.

Adam Ray 5:38 Yeah, it's wild.

Joe Rogan 5:39 You're less like you than him.

Adam Ray 5:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:41 I would think that's more Tony Hinchcliffe doing an Adam Ray impersonation-

Adam Ray 5:44 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:45 ... (laughs) than it would... than it would... (laughs)

Adam Ray 5:46 You know what was the best? Is, uh, Woody Harrelson was there that night and comes up to me after and he's like, uh, he's like, "Man." He's like, "That shit was fucking crazy, man." He's like, "I don't know what was going on or what you had to do." I was like, "I watched the intro a bunch. I've known Tony since we both started." And he goes, "You kinda got a little Johnny Depp going on with that thing." So then I started going, I go, "Woody," I go, "Maybe I am Johnny Depp. Maybe I'm Johnny playing Tony." And then he was like, "What the fuck, man?" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:12 Bro, you should totally do that. Johnny as the pirate.

Adam Ray 6:16 ... that's not a bad idea.

Joe Rogan 6:17 It's a fucking great idea.

Adam Ray 6:18 Wow.

Joe Rogan 6:18 I just heard your accent.

Adam Ray 6:19 On Kill Tony?

Joe Rogan 6:20 100%.

Adam Ray 6:21 In full pirate garb?

Joe Rogan 6:22 Yes.

Narrator 6:23 Jack Sparrow.

Adam Ray 6:23 Holy-

Joe Rogan 6:24 Just come out Jack Sparrow.

Adam Ray 6:25 I'm a big fan of Horns Coom. Horns Coom must be- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:28 Yes, dude.

Adam Ray 6:29 That's a great idea.

Joe Rogan 6:29 100%.

Adam Ray 6:30 Okay, yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:31 Has to be done.

Adam Ray 6:31 Yeah, real understated, but re-

Joe Rogan 6:33 Has to be done.

Adam Ray 6:34 Wow, okay.

Joe Rogan 6:34 That is your next big character.

Adam Ray 6:36 Oh, my god.

Joe Rogan 6:36 Oh, my god, the Amber Heard jokes are endless.

Adam Ray 6:38 Oh, my god.

Joe Rogan 6:40 Endless well.

Adam Ray 6:41 Oh, my god. I was just like-

Joe Rogan 6:43 Endless well.

Adam Ray 6:43 ... "Man, what sort of a pot could he pull from to kind of-"

Joe Rogan 6:45 Oh, cocaine.

Adam Ray 6:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:46 (singing) Dunno, know, know.

Adam Ray 6:47 And maybe every time he likes somebody, he goes, "I'm gonna give you the Johnny Depp bracelet of approval." And he gives him, like, a bracelet.

Joe Rogan 6:53 (laughs)

Adam Ray 6:54 (laughs) Like... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:56 (laughs) That's a great idea.

Adam Ray 6:58 Wow, Joe. All right.

Joe Rogan 6:59 Dude, this is a-

Adam Ray 6:59 Holy shit.

Joe Rogan 7:00 ... perfect character for you.

Adam Ray 7:01 People have pitched me to do-

Joe Rogan 7:02 You should have a treasure chest filled with cocaine.

Narrator 7:04 Do you wanna-

Adam Ray 7:04 Oh, my-

Narrator 7:05 Can we delete this from the podcast so he can save it or-

Adam Ray 7:07 God.

Joe Rogan 7:07 No, no, no.

Narrator 7:07 (laughs)

Adam Ray 7:08 No way. This is great. Let it roll.

Joe Rogan 7:09 A treasure chest filled with coke.

Adam Ray 7:10 Oh, my god.

Joe Rogan 7:12 Bring out a treasure chest filled with baby powder.

Adam Ray 7:13 The props and-

Joe Rogan 7:14 Just buy, like, 10 pounds of baby powder. (laughs)

Adam Ray 7:15 And just in between-

Joe Rogan 7:16 (laughs)

Adam Ray 7:16 ... hi, or a hi, instead of Heidi bringing out drinks-

Joe Rogan 7:18 (laughs)

Adam Ray 7:18 ... he brings me bags of coke. And I'm just blowing lines.

Joe Rogan 7:21 A fucking full treasure chest, bro.

Adam Ray 7:23 Oh, that's so funny, Joe.

Joe Rogan 7:25 Ugh. Ah. You have parrot-

Adam Ray 7:26 That's so-

Joe Rogan 7:26 You have parrot Asia? (laughs)

Adam Ray 7:28 (laughs) A real parrot?

Joe Rogan 7:29 No, no, no. Real parrot would probably freak out and have a heart attack.

Adam Ray 7:31 Yeah. We did, I did just, uh... So I tried to do this new character called Bruce Robbins at The Comedy Store. He's like a mentalist magician. And it's gonna drop on my YouTube in a couple weeks. And I rented an owl for 1,200 bucks. A, like, Eur- Harlan said he knew the type of owl. Harlan was on the show too. A Eurasian, I think, owl. He said it's the biggest owl.

Joe Rogan 7:50 Huh. Whoa.

Adam Ray 7:50 This thing was... So the whole bit was this character Bruce Robbins, he's got, like, a big blond coif, big buck teeth and kind, you know, kind of from the South. Talks like this real fast, you know. And, you know, I'm a magician. I'm a for- former real estate agent too, but, you know, magic is my healing power. And so the bit was bringing out this owl that was, like, a psychic owl. And so people would ask it questions, but I had my buddy who does a really good Morgan Freeman do voiceover. So then I would hold the mic up to the owl's face and then you would play the Morgan Freeman. So, like, if somebody goes, uh, you know, "How many, uh..." Or, "Is..." Somebody asked, "Is democracy, uh," you know, "is democracy ruined or are we gonna save it in this country?" And we had a bunch of canned responses. And so then it, I go, "Archie, what do you think about," Archie the Psychic Owl, "is democracy gonna be saved or ruined?" And then you just hear Morgan Freeman go, "Gay."

Joe Rogan 8:37 (laughs)

Adam Ray 8:37 I go, "Thanks for, thanks for... Any other questions we got?" You know.

Joe Rogan 8:39 Ah.

Adam Ray 8:40 But, uh, but a real parrot for Johnny Depp would be wild. May- or maybe just a fake one.

Joe Rogan 8:44 I don't, I don't think parrots would enjoy that. It'd probably be animal cruelty.

Adam Ray 8:47 It probably would.

Joe Rogan 8:48 The large crowd of people screaming and cheering.

Adam Ray 8:49 And what's your, what's your creature, uh, you know, do you have any, has anyone brought... What's the craziest thing someone's brought into the Mothership for, like, a... I guess-

Joe Rogan 8:57 Oh, like, an animal? No one's ever brought an animal, man.

Adam Ray 8:59 I'm, I'm trying to think too-

Joe Rogan 9:00 Except Paul, Pauly brings his dog sometimes, but he's got a sweet dog.

Adam Ray 9:02 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:03 And J- um, um, Ron's brought his dog a bunch of times.

Adam Ray 9:05 Right.

Joe Rogan 9:06 Ron's got a cute little dog.

Adam Ray 9:07 Yeah. And I'm trying to think when we did a Dr. Phil at the Mothership, we didn't have too many crazy elements.

Joe Rogan 9:11 You ever work with Liza?

Adam Ray 9:13 Schlesinger? Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:14 She-

Adam Ray 9:14 We did a game show with her back in the day.

Joe Rogan 9:15 She'd make you hold her dog.

Adam Ray 9:16 We used to make her always hold a dog. I know.

Joe Rogan 9:17 She'd just, like, give you a dog-

Adam Ray 9:19 I know.

Joe Rogan 9:19 ... before she goes on stage.

Adam Ray 9:20 I know.

Joe Rogan 9:20 "Take my dog." And be like, "Okay."

Adam Ray 9:21 Yeah. I know. And it, thank God it's always the people that love dogs.

Joe Rogan 9:24 I've held multiple dogs of hers over the years.

Adam Ray 9:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:28 (laughs) You know, 'cause dogs die.

Adam Ray 9:29 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:30 She gets a new one.

Adam Ray 9:31 Bro, I h-

Joe Rogan 9:32 She's got that new one with the scars around her nose.

Adam Ray 9:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:34 Where she was, uh, one of those dogs that they were, I mean, who knows what the fuck they were gonna do to it.

Adam Ray 9:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:39 But they had its, its, its face bound. I think she got it from China if I'm correct.

Adam Ray 9:44 Wow. Yeah, she did, yeah. 'Cause I think she calls it, like, Fung Choo or-

Joe Rogan 9:47 Yeah.

Adam Ray 9:48 ... uh, Chinese name.

Joe Rogan 9:48 Something like dim sum. Something like that.

Adam Ray 9:49 Dim sum? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:50 Is that it?

Adam Ray 9:50 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it might be. It's close.

Joe Rogan 9:52 Something like that.

Adam Ray 9:53 She, um-

Joe Rogan 9:54 Which is racist.

Adam Ray 9:54 Oh, she's racist.

Joe Rogan 9:56 Racist.

Adam Ray 9:56 Yeah, very racist.

Joe Rogan 9:56 Racist.

Adam Ray 9:57 Couldn't have gone with, like, Albert or Jill?

Joe Rogan 9:59 Bro, you ever been on Blue Sky?

Adam Ray 10:01 What's that?

Joe Rogan 10:01 Blue Sky is, like, the ultra super liberal Twitter. For people who are like, "Twitter's filled with Nazis."

Adam Ray 10:06 Right.

Joe Rogan 10:07 Then they ran over to Blue Sky. Uh, some guy wrote, "I'm just trying to be zen about it." And then someone under that wrote, "How about try not to be racist against Asians?"

Adam Ray 10:18 Wow.

Joe Rogan 10:19 For saying zen.

Adam Ray 10:19 For saying zen. That's, I don't like that.

Joe Rogan 10:21 That's crazy.

Adam Ray 10:23 That's crazy.

Joe Rogan 10:23 That was one of the wildest-

Adam Ray 10:25 Zen-

Joe Rogan 10:25 ... like, reaches I've ever seen in my life. Zen is a state of mind.

Adam Ray 10:28 Zen is one of the best words to describe being-

Joe Rogan 10:31 How can that-

Adam Ray 10:32 ... tranquil or-

Joe Rogan 10:33 Yes.

Adam Ray 10:33 ... serene, right, is another one.

Joe Rogan 10:34 Yeah. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Repair.

Adam Ray 10:36 God damn.

Joe Rogan 10:37 Or Zen and the Art of Archery. They're great books.

Adam Ray 10:38 I was just talking about how my dogs are my, like, zen happy place. Which, by the way-

Joe Rogan 10:43 Imagine thinking that saying that is racist.

Adam Ray 10:45 Yeah, that's bananas.

Joe Rogan 10:46 But that's how crazy, this is, like, what you're dealing with with humans out there.

Adam Ray 10:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:50 Some people are just off the reservation.

Adam Ray 10:52 Yeah. You, you posted something recently or maybe you said something on a pod about, like, your love for Marshall. And I wanted to bring this up because we're thinking about finally trying to have kids. My wife's had to go through some stuff to get us in a place to, you know, where, uh, where it's all right on that front.

Joe Rogan 11:07 Satanic rituals, right?

Adam Ray 11:08 Yeah, yeah. (laughs) Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:09 Goat sacrifice.

Adam Ray 11:09 Yes, goat sacrifice.

Joe Rogan 11:10 Yeah.

Adam Ray 11:10 She did play some song recently that, that s- it was some, maybe an Ariana Grande or something song. And I go, I go, "Are we sacrificing a lamb in the backyard? What the fuck is this?" It was just so, it made me feel so old 'cause it was so just (beat boxes) . And I was like, "I just don't, I don't know who this is." But we're getting close to having kids and we have two dogs and I'm like, I get emotional leaving the dogs, dude.

Joe Rogan 11:33 Mm-hmm.

Adam Ray 11:33 I mean, it's, it's bad. Like, and I don't even know how it's gonna be with kids. I mean, and you can probably attest to that with this.

Joe Rogan 11:39 When you go on the road?

Adam Ray 11:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:40 Yeah. Uh.

Adam Ray 11:41 I have trouble leaving.

Joe Rogan 11:42 You can't even compare. When I go on the road, I w- I know someone's taking care of my dog and he's gonna be great.

Adam Ray 11:47 Right.

Joe Rogan 11:47 He's a sweetheart and he's great with everybody.

Adam Ray 11:49 Yes.

Joe Rogan 11:49 I never worry about him.

Adam Ray 11:50 Right.

Joe Rogan 11:51 Uh, kids are a totally different thing.

Adam Ray 11:53 Totally different beast.

Joe Rogan 11:54 Oh, my god.

Adam Ray 11:54 Fuck.

Joe Rogan 11:54 It's like you don't even, you can't even imagine how much-

Adam Ray 11:57 I'm telling-

Joe Rogan 11:57 ... you're gonna love them. It's just, it's, it changes you as a human being because then you start to realize that everybody was a baby. And that most of these fucked up people in the world, they just got a bad deck of cards.

Adam Ray 12:09 It's a great way to put it.

Joe Rogan 12:10 And they've just been handed a shit sandwich every fucking day of their life.

Adam Ray 12:13 Everybody was, yeah, man.

Joe Rogan 12:15 And then you run into them and maybe you're lucky. You had really nice parents.

Adam Ray 12:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:19 You lived in a really nice neighborhood. You had good friends.

Adam Ray 12:21 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 12:21 You weren't in jail when you were 12.

Adam Ray 12:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:24 You know? And so, it's just, you, you, you have more compassion for the whole world when you have kids.

Adam Ray 12:31 I could have been in jail when I was 12, I put a firework in my neighbor's mailbox.

Joe Rogan 12:34 That's not good.

Adam Ray 12:35 That's not great.

Joe Rogan 12:36 What if he had like a, a fucking lottery check in there?

Adam Ray 12:39 Oh. (laughs) Could you sue over that? No, I guess there's no way to find out.

Joe Rogan 12:43 No, he's gonna kill you.

Adam Ray 12:44 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:45 (laughs) You're not gonna sue.

Adam Ray 12:46 Fight-

Joe Rogan 12:46 He'd rather go to jail, the money's gone.

Adam Ray 12:48 Dude, the sh- we did it with-

Joe Rogan 12:49 You, what do you have? You don't have enough money to pay for the $100 million lottery ticket.

Adam Ray 12:52 No. Oh my God, my single mom-

Joe Rogan 12:53 Could you imagine?

Adam Ray 12:53 ... would've freaked the fuck out.

Joe Rogan 12:54 Imagine if they said, "No, you can't." The lottery is the craziest scam.

Adam Ray 12:58 It's so wild.

Joe Rogan 13:00 It's legalized gambling.

Adam Ray 13:01 Yep.

Joe Rogan 13:02 Everybody does it.

Adam Ray 13:03 But you know what it is? It could be you.

Joe Rogan 13:05 It could be you.

Adam Ray 13:05 That's the slogan that makes people go, "I never thought of it like that."

Joe Rogan 13:08 But it's the dumbest scam, 'cause you have millions of people trying to win. And like, at least in Blackjack, you've got like a 40% chance-

Adam Ray 13:15 Totally.

Joe Rogan 13:16 ... of winning. You know, you have like fucking no chance of winning.

Adam Ray 13:19 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:19 You're just donating money-

Adam Ray 13:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:21 ... hoping that you're the one person out of 5 million.

Adam Ray 13:25 May- maybe even more.

Joe Rogan 13:26 Maybe more.

Adam Ray 13:26 Sometimes the odds I feel like s- are, have been in like the seven billions, it's like there's a better-

Joe Rogan 13:29 Let's ask. Let's find out how many people go, like let's find a lottery, like a big one.

Adam Ray 13:35 Okay.

Joe Rogan 13:36 Like what's a big one?

Adam Ray 13:38 Uh, Colorado State maybe? Uh-

Joe Rogan 13:40 Like what are the big ones that you hear on the news that get to-

Narrator 13:42 The Powerball? Or-

Adam Ray 13:43 The Powerball.

Joe Rogan 13:43 The Powerball, okay let's say Pow- Powerball's o- that's a huge one.

Adam Ray 13:45 They nailed it with the title too.

Joe Rogan 13:47 Okay. Let's guess here, let's-

Adam Ray 13:49 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 13:49 ... let's say, how, let's find out how much, how many people get paid out and how many people buy lottery tickets. How many lottery tickets are sold?

Adam Ray 13:57 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 13:59 Okay, let's put this into Perplexity. We have an AI sponsor that can give us information now.

Adam Ray 14:04 Ooh.

Joe Rogan 14:05 So it comes-

Adam Ray 14:06 Elevate it.

Joe Rogan 14:06 'Cause I talk a lot of shit-

Adam Ray 14:07 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:08 ... and sometimes I'm absolutely wrong.

Adam Ray 14:10 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:10 So it's super important-

Adam Ray 14:11 That is important.

Joe Rogan 14:12 ... to use Perplexity.

Adam Ray 14:13 Good for you.

Joe Rogan 14:13 It's crazy when you watch it work too, 'cause you put in a prompt. Can you show how it's working? You put in a prompt and then look, it just st- pulls out all those articles.

Adam Ray 14:21 Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 14:21 Like, and then bam.

Adam Ray 14:22 Just a fact checker and-

Joe Rogan 14:23 Puts a synopsis in seconds.

Adam Ray 14:25 ... and a knowledge dropper.

Joe Rogan 14:25 Look at that, look at that, in seconds. That's so crazy, dude. I don't think we realize how nuts that is.

Adam Ray 14:30 It really is. It's... 'cause guess what? Even if it was a couple of seconds to compute and like process, you'd give it the time and space to figure that out, 'cause...

Joe Rogan 14:39 So here it, here it goes. Um, the largest Powerball drawing in US history, November 7, 2022, a jackpot of $2.04 billion.

Adam Ray 14:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:51 Over 100 million tickets were sold for a single major drawing as the jackpot approached the billion dollar mark. For instance, when the jackpot reached 1.1 billion in another high-profile drawing, Americans bought more than 111 million tickets. And similar or greater sales occurred for historical record draws like the 2.04 billion event. So, only one person gets paid?

Narrator 15:14 No. Well, it depends.

Joe Rogan 15:16 So just smaller jackpots?

Narrator 15:17 It de- it depe-

Adam Ray 15:18 You can hit a few numbers and you split the jackp-

Joe Rogan 15:19 So there's $20 million range? Oh, the, those large, smaller jackpots. How many people get paid out though? Is it just one person?

Adam Ray 15:26 It depends, I think there can be multiple winners.

Narrator 15:28 Yeah, you can win (clears throat) you win a million bucks if you hit like all five numbers and not the Powerball.

Adam Ray 15:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:33 Right. So-

Narrator 15:33 But that doesn't affect the jackpot.

Joe Rogan 15:35 Right.

Narrator 15:36 So I guess if you're asking who gets paid out of the jackpot-

Joe Rogan 15:38 Yeah.

Narrator 15:39 ... yeah, it's a winner take all situation.

Adam Ray 15:40 Whoa.

Narrator 15:41 But if two people or three people or 10 people get it, it could split even.

Joe Rogan 15:44 So what if, what if you can only get some of the numbers, you get some money?

Narrator 15:47 You can get some money. If you get like one number, you can get like five bucks back.

Adam Ray 15:50 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:50 Okay. (laughs) They just try to keep you hooked.

Narrator 15:53 Yeah, they keep you, oh yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:53 They just try to keep you on the hook.

Adam Ray 15:55 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:55 And if you get like, let's say you get w- so you've got to imagine that if you give them five bucks back, they probably bought 300 tickets.

Adam Ray 16:04 At least.

Joe Rogan 16:05 So you won anyway.

Adam Ray 16:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:06 It-

Narrator 16:07 So, I was gonna bring up this thing that happened, I think it was in Texas. Someone figured out the loophole of like-

Adam Ray 16:12 No.

Narrator 16:12 ... how many tickets can you buy and how fast can you buy them? And they figured out a way to buy-

Joe Rogan 16:18 Really?

Narrator 16:18 ... more tickets to, and they won, they were profitable.

Joe Rogan 16:21 Whoa.

Adam Ray 16:21 It is a numbers game.

Narrator 16:22 They had to spend like $25 million or something, but they were profitable.

Joe Rogan 16:25 Whoa, is that legal?

Narrator 16:26 Ah, it's where they've gotten into some issues now.

Joe Rogan 16:28 Well, here's the thing. Why, why isn't it legal if you're just buying tickets?

Adam Ray 16:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:32 'Cause if you have a shitty system-

Adam Ray 16:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:33 ... if your system sucks and by the way-

Adam Ray 16:35 That's on you.

Joe Rogan 16:35 ... your system's been ripping off everybody forever-

Adam Ray 16:37 Sounds like a personal problem.

Joe Rogan 16:37 ... and I jump in on that system and give you all this money-

Adam Ray 16:40 I figured it out.

Joe Rogan 16:41 ... and I win money-

Adam Ray 16:43 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:43 ... every fucking time.

Adam Ray 16:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:44 Hmm.

Adam Ray 16:45 Yeah. Maybe this is on you.

Joe Rogan 16:46 Maybe you don't like when you get scammed, motherfucker.

Adam Ray 16:48 Yeah, yeah.

Narrator 16:48 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:48 You've been scamming us for years.

Adam Ray 16:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:50 When you sell 111 million tickets for one-

Adam Ray 16:53 That's so fucking-

Joe Rogan 16:53 ... for one winner, you have 111 million to one.

Adam Ray 16:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:57 That's bananas.

Narrator 16:58 Someone might not win and it goes on, then it carries over.

Adam Ray 17:00 I love the stories-

Joe Rogan 17:01 That's bananas.

Narrator 17:02 (laughs)

Adam Ray 17:02 There was, I think-

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Adam Ray 18:34 ... it's happened a handful of times where, like, the guy or gal will win and then split it with someone that they, like, bought the ticket with or said they'd go halvsies on.

Joe Rogan 18:42 Uh-huh.

Adam Ray 18:43 You know, though, there's gotta be times where somebody did that and, like... You know, 'cause I think they usually publicize who won.

Joe Rogan 18:50 Yeah.

Adam Ray 18:50 But there's gotta be a way, if you won like two mil, to keep it kinda hush-hush and then, you know, you... And then, the buddy's like, "Man, I fucking can't believe we didn't win." And you did win, and you're like, "Yeah, I know. Fucking better luck next year." (laughs) But, like-

Joe Rogan 19:01 Oh, he's gonna kill you.

Adam Ray 19:02 Yeah. So, well, and families I've-

Joe Rogan 19:05 (laughs)

Adam Ray 19:05 Families have been ripped apart from these types of, uh, when they go public and name changes.

Joe Rogan 19:10 Oh, of course.

Adam Ray 19:10 I mean, I've heard all sorts of... There was a documentary about the lottery from the same guy who did, I think it was Spellbound. Did you ever see that?

Joe Rogan 19:17 No.

Adam Ray 19:17 About the- the Script Spelling Bee? They followed five kids around the country. It's a brilliant documentary, and it just goes to show you. I mean, they're all different walks of life kids and some are, you know, their parents are, like, spelling... They're all pretty, like, you know, serious about it.

Joe Rogan 19:33 Mm-hmm.

Adam Ray 19:33 But some are very, uh... I think there's a young, uh, Indian kid and his parents are like, yeah, spelling is life. And then, there's a young white girl and her parents are also very, like, disciplined about, you know, her being on top of this. And then, there's a- a young, uh, Black girl and her mom is kinda like, "If she's happy, she loves doing it, I'm a support her." You know? But it's all different walks of life and you follow them, almost like Best in Show, up until the big event. And then, it's the actual spelling bee, which is just, you know, so fucking-

Joe Rogan 20:00 Wow.

Adam Ray 20:01 ... ho- You've-

Joe Rogan 20:01 (clears throat)

Adam Ray 20:01 I mean, you've seen some of these on ESPN, right, over the years?

Joe Rogan 20:03 Yeah, yeah.

Adam Ray 20:03 And the pressure though is, like, what's wild.

Joe Rogan 20:06 Yeah.

Adam Ray 20:06 Seeing a kid at that age deal with that type of pressure.

Joe Rogan 20:10 Yeah.

Adam Ray 20:10 Like, even though they love it, they're up on that stage. Like, fuck, I remember I played the Cowardly Lion in fifth grade. Yeah, I freaked the fuck out.

Joe Rogan 20:16 (laughs)

Adam Ray 20:16 A, because I was a fat kid and I was fucking- my tits were falling out of the lion suit.

Joe Rogan 20:20 (laughs)

Adam Ray 20:20 I asked for ice cream cake instead of courage when I got to Oz. But, like, these kids are having to... There's money on the line. The parents have, like, dedic-... They've flown all across the country. Like... Anyway, but the guy did a- a doc about the lottery and how it's the pros and cons, but mostly about how it is like a- a big scam and stuff. And it's, you know, just kind of a social experiment, really.

Joe Rogan 20:39 Well, it's definitely, it's definitely a way to keep people hooked. It's a gambling thing.

Adam Ray 20:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:44 It's, it's 100% a gambling thing.

Adam Ray 20:46 Dude, per-

Joe Rogan 20:46 And it's, like, very, very profitable for the government.

Adam Ray 20:49 It is.

Joe Rogan 20:49 But the thing about it is nobody who wins ever gets happy. (laughs) It's not... Like, everybody who wins-

Adam Ray 20:56 More money, more problems.

Joe Rogan 20:56 I don't wanna say everybody who wins. The vast majority of people who win go broke within a very short amount of time.

Adam Ray 21:03 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 21:03 Yeah, they blow through their money.

Adam Ray 21:05 Fuck.

Joe Rogan 21:05 And they wind up getting robbed or something happens and... Like, it- it's- it's not like you've had an unsuccessful financial relationship with y- you know, with money and-

Adam Ray 21:16 Right.

Joe Rogan 21:16 ... with funds and, you know, being prudent with your expenses.

Adam Ray 21:20 Right.

Joe Rogan 21:21 And then, all of a sudden, you win the lottery.

Adam Ray 21:22 Right.

Joe Rogan 21:22 And you're like, "Okay, great. I'm an accountant. I know how to handle this." No, most people are just, like, barely getting by and then they win the lottery, and they've always been late on bills and- and now they're buying a Rolex or fucking Rolls-Royce.

Adam Ray 21:32 You're going from zero to 60. Yeah, you can't adjust.

Narrator 21:34 This is the- this is the winner of that $2 billion.

Joe Rogan 21:36 Oh, look at him.

Narrator 21:36 ... lottery.

Adam Ray 21:37 Wow, dude.

Joe Rogan 21:37 Look at him.

Narrator 21:38 Yeah, just a kid from LA.

Joe Rogan 21:39 Look how happy that motherfucker is.

Narrator 21:40 (laughs) Yeah, dude.

Joe Rogan 21:40 You better run, son. (laughs) Run to Canada. Run to Canada. Run-

Adam Ray 21:44 He's gonna buy so much Under Armor.

Joe Rogan 21:46 Go- go somewhere, go somewhere where they don't know who you are-

Adam Ray 21:49 Man-

Joe Rogan 21:49 ... and enjoy your life and lie.

Adam Ray 21:51 Did you ever-

Joe Rogan 21:51 Lie about where you got your money.

Adam Ray 21:53 You have to.

Joe Rogan 21:53 Say- say you got a business. You know, say your dad died and-

Adam Ray 21:56 Went in on an act.

Joe Rogan 21:57 ... whatever.

Adam Ray 21:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:57 Yeah, Grandpa left you a lot of money.

Adam Ray 21:59 Grandpa, yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:59 He had gold coins from the war.

Adam Ray 22:00 No one questions- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:02 (laughs) Yeah, his fucking candy...

Adam Ray 22:03 No one questions old artifacts, yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:04 Yeah. Don't say you won the lottery-

Adam Ray 22:06 You can't.

Joe Rogan 22:06 ... because then people don't think you deserve it. So, if you're Jeff Bezos-

Adam Ray 22:09 That's a good point.

Joe Rogan 22:09 ... you made Amazon, there's pictures of you in the fucking garage with his, uh, amazon.com sign above your head.

Adam Ray 22:15 Yeah. The early days.

Joe Rogan 22:15 When you... Yeah, the early days.

Adam Ray 22:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:17 Like, you know that guy built that fucking company.

Adam Ray 22:18 Sure.

Joe Rogan 22:19 So, if he's out there balling, that kinda makes sense.

Adam Ray 22:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:21 You know, you see Jeff Bezos has a giant yacht. You're like, "I'd have a yacht too if I-"

Adam Ray 22:24 Totally.

Joe Rogan 22:25 ... had the... I'd do that-

Adam Ray 22:25 Totally.

Joe Rogan 22:25 I would do the same thing. So... But when you get the Powerball and all of a sudden you got $2 billion-

Adam Ray 22:31 Just like that, dude.

Joe Rogan 22:32 And by the way, it's not really $2 billion 'cause it's $2 billion if you live to be, like, a thousand years old.

Adam Ray 22:37 But they take- they take the tax on it.

Joe Rogan 22:38 And they- they pay you like a hundred bucks a week.

Adam Ray 22:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:39 It's weird.

Adam Ray 22:40 It's still a big payout.

Joe Rogan 22:41 Like, they don't... Or you can get all of it in once, in one sum, but it's never the same- it's never the same amount.

Adam Ray 22:46 Mm-mm.

Joe Rogan 22:46 They give you way less.

Adam Ray 22:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:48 Which is horseshit.

Adam Ray 22:49 It is.

Joe Rogan 22:50 So, if you want to get the $2 billion, it's probably like... How- what is the actual... Let's find this out. What's the actual payout schedule that you can-

Adam Ray 22:58 Good question.

Joe Rogan 22:58 ... accept either the payments where they just pay you, like, your c-... "We got two billion coming your way, guaranteed. Promise you."

Adam Ray 23:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:06 "But we're gonna give you a little every month."

Adam Ray 23:08 Feels like the-

Joe Rogan 23:08 But wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Adam Ray 23:09 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:09 What did you do with the 111 million tickets you sold, motherfucker?

Adam Ray 23:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:16 You sold 111 million tickets. What'd you do with that money? Where's that money?

Adam Ray 23:22 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:22 How about give me all of that?

Adam Ray 23:23 Yeah, no shit.

Joe Rogan 23:24 The fuck are you doing?

Adam Ray 23:25 No shit.

Joe Rogan 23:25 What is this?

Narrator 23:27 It's like a 30-year annuity option.

Joe Rogan 23:30 30 years.

Adam Ray 23:31 Wow.

Joe Rogan 23:32 They wanna pay you for 30 years.

Adam Ray 23:34 Would you take that or just take the-

Joe Rogan 23:35 Nice and slow.

Adam Ray 23:36 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:37 That's the way we do it, see. Nice and slow.

Adam Ray 23:41 Nice and slow. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:42 So-

Narrator 23:42 Uh, is this act... I gotta see this act. I didn't... This says this option pays out the full advertised jackpot amount.

Joe Rogan 23:47 Oh, it's a different one?

Narrator 23:48 I didn't know that. Let me see if that's real.

Adam Ray 23:50 By the way, that voice-

Joe Rogan 23:50 So, there's-

Adam Ray 23:51 ... you were doing, that's for sure the head of the lottery.

Joe Rogan 23:53 Nice, nice and slow.

Adam Ray 23:54 A Mr. Burns, Al Pacino type guy.

Joe Rogan 23:56 That's how we're gonna pay him.

Adam Ray 23:58 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:58 Nice and slow.

Adam Ray 23:59 Oh, yeah, dude. In a Fila jumpsuit.

Joe Rogan 24:01 Yeah, some dude just stealing money.

Adam Ray 24:03 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:03 He's got a fake Rolex on.

Adam Ray 24:04 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:05 Paying him nice and slow.

Adam Ray 24:07 Oh, yeah, dude.

Joe Rogan 24:07 30 years is crazy. If you win the lottery and you're 60, bitch, you ain't got 30 years. Especially with lottery money.

Adam Ray 24:13 No.

Joe Rogan 24:13 That kinda cocaine?

Adam Ray 24:14 You gotta take it off.

Joe Rogan 24:15 You ain't... Cocaine and Ferraris. Like, (laughs) you got lottery money.

Adam Ray 24:18 What, what do you think you're doing 'cause you... I mean, you're- you're fine. But, like, did you ever fantasize about, like, that... I think it's normal to be a person if you, as long as you've been aware of the lottery, I think everyone has had that conversation.

Joe Rogan 24:34 Yeah.

Adam Ray 24:35 What would you do if you won the lottery? I remember having that as a kid and I remember telling my dad I was gonna win the lottery just to fucking, "You never have to work." Like, wh- what? How did I even think to... But you just, you hear about it and you're like... The idea of- of just getting rich right away and then not having to do anything, I think is...... is pretty common in this country, right?

Joe Rogan 24:53 Well, it's a w- wonderful idea, like, 'cause everybody hates work. So-

Adam Ray 24:57 Did you ever think about it, though? Like, when you were-

Joe Rogan 24:58 Oh, sure.

Adam Ray 24:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:59 I played the lottery a bunch of times.

Adam Ray 25:01 But, like, did you fancy, like, what you would do?

Joe Rogan 25:02 I don't remember how many times I played it. Let me think of how many times. May- you know, not a lot of times. I th- I think I probably played it, like, all totaled in my life, like, less than 10 times.

Adam Ray 25:10 What did you write down or- or say to yourself?

Joe Rogan 25:12 I didn't. I'm not, like, a vision port type of dude.

Adam Ray 25:14 But, like, if you got, like, let's say you did win, like, 500 mil-

Joe Rogan 25:17 Mm-hmm.

Adam Ray 25:17 ... and you were in your early 20s or something, or even like teens-

Joe Rogan 25:19 Oh, I'd be broke.

Adam Ray 25:20 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:20 I'd be broke and ruined. (laughs)

Adam Ray 25:21 You would've gone through it all. You wouldn't have put it-

Joe Rogan 25:23 I would be ruined now.

Adam Ray 25:24 ... you wouldn't have put it away for the fam or- yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:25 No, no, no, no. I'd be doing a GoFundMe right now.

Adam Ray 25:28 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:30 I'd be, (laughs) I'd be-

Adam Ray 25:30 Oh, man.

Joe Rogan 25:31 I'd be going on some-

Adam Ray 25:32 Dangerous.

Joe Rogan 25:32 ... sad tour.

Adam Ray 25:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:33 People would be like, "What about when you had all that money?"

Adam Ray 25:36 Oh, God.

Joe Rogan 25:36 Fuck you, man.

Adam Ray 25:37 Fuck you, man. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:38 Fuck you, man. You know what I went through, man?

Adam Ray 25:40 Joe's doing safaris and Stand Up For Animals.

Joe Rogan 25:42 Um, I think that winning the lottery is bad for you. I know that sounds crazy because if you don't have any money and you want money and may- maybe not bad for everybody, but bad for me.

Adam Ray 25:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:50 Let me say that.

Adam Ray 25:51 Yeah, sure.

Joe Rogan 25:51 I think if I won the lottery, it would be bad for me.

Adam Ray 25:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:54 Because I'm the type of dude who needs, like, a thing to be working on.

Adam Ray 25:57 Yep.

Joe Rogan 25:58 I like, I have to j- I want, I wanna improve at stuff.

Adam Ray 26:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:01 I drive towards things. I'm trying to, like, g- figure things out all the time. So-

Adam Ray 26:04 That's a great point.

Joe Rogan 26:05 ... I am all of a sudden not doing that-

Adam Ray 26:08 Your drive is gone-

Joe Rogan 26:09 Yeah.

Adam Ray 26:09 ... if you win the lottery, I think.

Joe Rogan 26:10 Especially at a young age, 'cause if you're, like... So, let's go back to, like, when I was, like, 22.

Adam Ray 26:15 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 26:16 I was 22. Uh, I was working odd jobs while I was doing standup at night. I was, uh, working for a private investigator. I was like, maybe I was making-

Adam Ray 26:25 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 26:25 ... 20 bucks an hour.

Adam Ray 26:26 Wait.

Joe Rogan 26:26 Like, maybe.

Adam Ray 26:27 Did you really do that?

Joe Rogan 26:28 Yeah, I drove around a private investigator.

Adam Ray 26:30 Holy shit.

Joe Rogan 26:31 Yeah, he was a, a good friend for years. Like, he died recently. Uh, his name's-

Adam Ray 26:35 I'm sorry.

Joe Rogan 26:35 ... Dave Dolan. He was, he's the best. I kept one of my old phones just 'cause he left me a message. He used to call himself Dynamite Dickless Dave Dolan.

Adam Ray 26:42 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:43 He, he was, he was a hilarious guy, the funniest guy that I've ever met that wasn't a comedian. He was so funny.

Adam Ray 26:48 I love that.

Joe Rogan 26:48 He was so funny. And the crazy thing is, what happened was, he lost his license from drunk driving. And, uh, he put in an ad for a private investigator's assistant, but really what it was is someone to drive him, 'cause he couldn't drive.

Adam Ray 27:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:02 'Cause he was, you know, lost his license-

Adam Ray 27:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:04 ... for, like, I forget how long, like, three months or something like that. So, um, I, I sign up for the job. I meet him, you know. This was back when I was still competing. I was still fighting, so he liked that I could, like, fuck people up-

Adam Ray 27:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:17 ... if something went sideways.

Adam Ray 27:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:19 And so then we would go, and most of it was insurance fraud. It was mostly, like, catching people, like, doing things, like, um, pretending their back was hurt. Then you'd catch them carrying roof shingles up a ladder. It was a lot of that. Um, people, they, they get hurt, like, working for an airline. This one lady... Oh, this was so sad, 'cause she let us into her house. I felt so bad.

Adam Ray 27:40 Mm.

Joe Rogan 27:40 We would, it was a scam, and the scam was, Dave would show up and say, um, "Ma'am, uh, my girlfriend was in an accident, and when the police took the license plate of the witness, someone spilled coffee on the report, and it's confusing which letters are the last letters, and one of them is yours."

Adam Ray 27:59 Mm.

Joe Rogan 27:59 "He, we got these two. They weren't right. We're hoping it's you." And they were like, "What's, what's wrong with your girlfriend?" And he goes, "Well, she's got this injury," which is exactly the same injury that this lady had that she was supposedly getting, uh... that she was, you know, disabled from.

Adam Ray 28:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:14 And so she's like, "Oh my God, I had the same thing." And he goes, "I hope you're getting paid." And she goes, "Oh, yeah, not only am I getting paid by insurance, but I'm also working under my maiden name." He's like, "Oh, that's great." And she goes, "Would you like to come in h- in the house and have some coffee?"

Adam Ray 28:29 Oh.

Joe Rogan 28:29 She was the nicest lady.

Adam Ray 28:30 Oh, God.

Joe Rogan 28:31 She had us in her house. We were two strangers.

Adam Ray 28:33 Oh, God.

Joe Rogan 28:34 Some fucking thick-looking Irish dude with a mustache, that's Dave, and me.

Adam Ray 28:40 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:40 Like, this 21-year-old kid with a fucking crew cut.

Adam Ray 28:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:43 And you're just letting us into your house-

Adam Ray 28:45 So trusting, fuck.

Joe Rogan 28:45 ... giving us coffee. I'm like, "She's so nice, man. We can't do that. We gotta, we gotta pretend this didn't happen." He's like, "Fuck her. She goes."

Adam Ray 28:52 Oh, she goes. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:52 "Fucking thief. That lady's a fucking thief. Fuck her."

Adam Ray 28:56 Yeah, gotta be ice cold on that.

Joe Rogan 28:58 I was like, "Oh my God. I can't do this." Uh, I, I only did it for a few months. But that's all he needed me for, really. But we became friends.

Adam Ray 29:04 What a life, dude.

Joe Rogan 29:05 Yeah, he was an interesting cat, man. He was a fun... (laughs) One, one of the guys, it was a guy who, um, thought his girlfriend was cheating on him. (clears throat) Or wife. I forget. And so-

Adam Ray 29:16 That feels like a lot of the cases they get hired for, right?

Joe Rogan 29:18 Yes.

Adam Ray 29:18 Like...

Joe Rogan 29:19 Sure. But mostly what Dave did was insurance stuff-

Adam Ray 29:21 Okay.

Joe Rogan 29:21 ... 'cause they, they had the most amount of cases.

Adam Ray 29:24 Right.

Joe Rogan 29:24 It was all about finding... It's just, it's just a numbers thing.

Adam Ray 29:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:28 Um, so this one was, "I think, I think my girl is cheating on me."

Adam Ray 29:31 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 29:31 So, he hires Dave, uh, to take... (laughs) This g- this wife was hooking up with this fucking barbarian, this dude who's this big, old bodybuilder dude.

Adam Ray 29:42 Oh, God.

Joe Rogan 29:42 And he was just pounding her. And Dave had to take pictures, and then he, like, b- brought the pictures-

Adam Ray 29:48 Of them fucking?

Joe Rogan 29:49 ... brought the pictures to the guy, and then the guy was like, (sighs) "Well, keep following her." He's like, "Fuck you."

Adam Ray 29:56 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:57 He's like, "I don't know what kind of kink you're into." Like, this... Is this like a... Are you doing-

Adam Ray 30:01 This should be enough.

Joe Rogan 30:02 No, it was almost like he was into it. It was almost-

Adam Ray 30:06 That-

Joe Rogan 30:06 ... like they were playing a game.

Adam Ray 30:08 Oh.

Joe Rogan 30:08 Like a cuck game.

Adam Ray 30:09 Oh, wow.

Joe Rogan 30:10 It was, you know what I mean?

Adam Ray 30:11 Maybe I'm cheating on you, maybe you should hire a private investigator and see the pictures.

Joe Rogan 30:14 The guy just, like... The, the girl was, the, the lady was very hot, and he was very not hot, and then there was this bodybuilder guy.

Adam Ray 30:22 Fuck, dude. It is funny you say that.

Joe Rogan 30:24 (laughs)

Adam Ray 30:24 My brain immediately went to if my wife was cheating on me, that would be the worst version, just a huge guy. Because, like, if it's Shaq you go, "If we do get back together, there's no way..." Well, you're not, by the way, but, like, if you do, like, you just... You can't go back in there.

Joe Rogan 30:39 Right, it's over.

Adam Ray 30:40 I mean, I see Shaq now with, like, when there's pictures of him next to his, like, girls he's dated, I'm like-

Joe Rogan 30:45 How?

Adam Ray 30:45 Is that... That should be illegal.

Joe Rogan 30:48 (laughs)

Adam Ray 30:48 But I guess, I don't know. Y- he's gentle? I don't... How do you, how do you do that? I don't know.

Joe Rogan 30:52 Psh, you gotta ask him.

Adam Ray 30:54 (laughs) Have you had Shaq on?

Joe Rogan 30:56 No, I'd love to have him on. I love that dude.

Adam Ray 30:58 That would be, um-

Joe Rogan 30:58 He did Fear Factor with me.

Adam Ray 30:59 ... no way.

Joe Rogan 31:00 Yeah, he co-hosted Fear Factor one day, one episode.

Adam Ray 31:03 That would be an unbelievable conversation.

Joe Rogan 31:05 Yeah, it was, like, me and him hanging... I had a joke, I was, uh, it was like a six-year-old's hanging out with his dad. (laughs)

Adam Ray 31:10 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:10 Like, the size of it. I had a joke about, uh, a lady, um, guarding the White House, 'cause it was during the Obama Administration-

Adam Ray 31:17 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:17 ... uh, a guy broke into the White House and they had a lady, an unarmed lady at the front door.

Adam Ray 31:20 Sure.

Joe Rogan 31:21 And I had this whole joke about, l- like, not everybody can guard the White House.

Adam Ray 31:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:26 And, like, listen, I've met Shaquille O'Neal, his dick is where my face is.

Adam Ray 31:29 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:29 So I'm like, if the White House is experiencing a Shaq attack-

Adam Ray 31:32 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:32 ... I'm the wrong dude to save the world.

Adam Ray 31:34 Oh my god.

Joe Rogan 31:34 Like, he's just gonna run over me-

Adam Ray 31:36 Yeah, dude.

Joe Rogan 31:36 ... he's too big.

Adam Ray 31:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:37 You know, but that guy, when you're, you're hanging out with him, you're like, "Okay, giants are real. Like, there's real giants in this world."

Adam Ray 31:43 Totally.

Joe Rogan 31:43 Like, look at this. (laughs)

Adam Ray 31:44 Oh, you did at uni too, that's awesome.

Joe Rogan 31:47 Ah. Oh yeah, it was fun. He, but he's a fan of the show. He was real cool.

Adam Ray 31:50 That's awesome.

Joe Rogan 31:51 Yeah, I see him at the UFC all the time too. Imagine if that guy got into MMA, 'cause he's a martial artist. He practices martial arts.

Adam Ray 31:57 That's right.

Joe Rogan 31:57 There's some good video of him working out, like, kicking pads and punching mitts and shit. He's got technique.

Adam Ray 32:03 Is it cool, from your perspective, when people like that jump into that art form? Are you just like saying-

Joe Rogan 32:07 I love it.

Adam Ray 32:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:08 No, I love it. I want everybody to do it.

Adam Ray 32:09 Wow.

Joe Rogan 32:09 It's good for your brain. And not, don't do it 'cause you wanna be a Billy Badass, but do it because it, it, it's, like, the best way of releasing aggression and making you a nice person. It sounds crazy, I know-

Adam Ray 32:20 No, that makes sense.

Joe Rogan 32:21 ... but, like, hitting something-

Adam Ray 32:22 Sure.

Joe Rogan 32:22 ... like, a bag. You don't have to hit a person. Hit a heavy bag, just bum-bum, bum-bum, you get all that shit outta your system.

Adam Ray 32:28 Wow.

Joe Rogan 32:29 Look at him next to Francis Ngannou, that's former UFC heavyweight champion Francis Ngannou, who is a giant man, standing next to Shaq, and Shaq towers over him.

Adam Ray 32:39 I mean, it's, it's honestly-

Joe Rogan 32:40 He's too big for the UFC. If Shaq-

Adam Ray 32:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:42 ... if the UFC was around-

Adam Ray 32:43 That's not a fair fight.

Joe Rogan 32:43 ... when Shaq... No, no, no, he, like, literally is physically too big.

Adam Ray 32:46 Oh.

Joe Rogan 32:46 Like, it, the UFC has a 265-pound weight limit for the heavyweight division.

Adam Ray 32:50 Oh.

Joe Rogan 32:50 Which is kinda crazy.

Adam Ray 32:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:52 Heavyweight should be as big as you get. It should be, like, I think it should be, like, 225 and up, that's what I think.

Adam Ray 32:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:58 I think there's not enough weight classes, but that's a separate conversation. But Shaq is way bigger than 265.

Adam Ray 33:04 Yeah, 350 maybe.

Joe Rogan 33:05 He, he, he probably would have to cut 80 pounds to make the UFC's weight limit.

Adam Ray 33:09 I think he was under three when he got in the league. He was real slender. Which is crazy to be that big and be that fast. The fact that he did what he did in the NBA is really wild.

Joe Rogan 33:18 There's giant super athletes, which is, like, the difference between the NBA, the NFL, and then the UFC.

Adam Ray 33:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:25 It's, like, the UFC doesn't get many guys like that.

Adam Ray 33:28 Right.

Joe Rogan 33:28 Most of, like, super athletes when they're kids, they go into football, they go into baseball, they go into basketball. That's where the money is, you know, for a lot of them.

Adam Ray 33:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:37 Like, way more, like, there's way more spots probably for football players-

Adam Ray 33:41 1000%.

Joe Rogan 33:42 ... than there are for UFS... Like, how many, how many professional, uh, football players are there in the NFL?

Narrator 33:48 Oof, I mean, there's 53 per team-

Joe Rogan 33:51 (clears throat) Let's find out.

Narrator 33:51 ... and there's 32 teams.

Adam Ray 33:52 Over a thousand at least.

Narrator 33:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:53 Don't make me do math, I'm stupid.

Adam Ray 33:54 (laughs)

Narrator 33:54 I mean, yeah.

Adam Ray 33:55 Well, that's why we do this.

Joe Rogan 33:56 (laughs)

Narrator 33:56 That's just that, there's also, there's practice squads, there's another 12 or 15 on a practice squad.

Joe Rogan 34:00 Okay, let's-

Adam Ray 34:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:00 ... put it into perplexity. Find out how many overall players are, um...

Narrator 34:06 About to say-

Joe Rogan 34:06 ... employed by the NFL.

Narrator 34:08 D- I...

Adam Ray 34:09 And then do it for NBA, uh, MLB, badminton, tennis-

Narrator 34:12 And then cricket.

Adam Ray 34:13 ... and croquet.

Joe Rogan 34:13 Chinese sports.

Adam Ray 34:14 And che- uh, checkers, Parcheesi.

Joe Rogan 34:16 Yeah.

Adam Ray 34:17 UNO tournaments.

Narrator 34:18 I was just gonna-

Joe Rogan 34:18 Pyramid billiards. (laughs)

Narrator 34:19 The number for the NFL could get way bigger, 'cause there's guys that, you know, are half-retired and only play, like, three games a year.

Joe Rogan 34:25 Okay. So what do you... If you had a guess?

Adam Ray 34:27 53 times, what, there's 30-

Joe Rogan 34:28 Jamie knows a lot about stats.

Narrator 34:29 Yeah, there'd be, there'd be probably 22,000.

Adam Ray 34:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:32 22,000, okay.

Narrator 34:33 Oh, no, no, no. Not 20... I was gonna say 2,500 or 2,000.

Adam Ray 34:35 Yeah.

Narrator 34:36 But 2,000's probably a fair number.

Joe Rogan 34:37 And is that, that's just NFL, correct? And then you have XFL? How many people are employed by the XFL?

Narrator 34:42 Oh, that's a good one.

Adam Ray 34:42 Great question.

Narrator 34:44 I haven't... Uh...

Adam Ray 34:45 (clears throat) And baseball is at 53... No. Baseball's tw- 53-man roster for baseball?

Narrator 34:50 No, baseball's way less, like 25, 20, yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:52 So for UFC, just the UFC, I think right now they have 600 fighters under contract. Mick Maynard texted me-

Adam Ray 34:59 Wow.

Joe Rogan 34:59 ... about that recently.

Narrator 35:00 This is 1,700 players-

Adam Ray 35:01 53 for football, right?

Narrator 35:02 ... on active rosters, and then another 400 who can move around.

Joe Rogan 35:05 Okay.

Narrator 35:05 So that's like a 2,100...

Joe Rogan 35:06 So that's NFL.

Adam Ray 35:07 Man.

Joe Rogan 35:07 That's just NFL.

Adam Ray 35:08 What a crapshoot.

Joe Rogan 35:08 So it's essentially 2,000-ish, so-

Narrator 35:12 There's about 550 in the NBA.

Joe Rogan 35:13 Mm. Okay.

Adam Ray 35:15 And, and the draft each year is probably another, you add another-

Narrator 35:17 30 to 40 more-

Joe Rogan 35:18 Also-

Adam Ray 35:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:18 ... you have to take into account that a lot of kids, uh, you play football in school, right?

Adam Ray 35:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:24 So if you're gonna play football, you play football in high school-

Adam Ray 35:26 Yes.

Joe Rogan 35:26 ... you play football in college.

Adam Ray 35:27 Getting it going early.

Joe Rogan 35:28 Yeah. But it's a sport that everybody plays and it's normal to do. Like, everybody in the neighborhood plays. If you play baseball, everybody in the neighborhood plays.

Adam Ray 35:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:37 You, you all, you, you play in middle school, you play in high school. MMA, you gotta go to the gym. You gotta learn, you gotta get kicked in the nuts.

Adam Ray 35:44 It's a solo sport, yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:45 You're gonna get kicked in the nuts more than once. You're gonna get punched in the face, your nose is gonna be bloo- bloody. You're gonna have a headache. You're gonna have sh- sore joints 'cause people are trying to break your arms. And then you're showing up at school every day going, "What am I doing?"

Adam Ray 35:59 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:59 "Like, what the fuck am I doing?" So it's hard to get a kid that can also play basketball really well to decide, "I'm gonna let someone kick my shins out from under me."

Adam Ray 36:08 No, I don't know what kid would do that. And also, are you-

Joe Rogan 36:10 It's gotta be a kid that only wants that.

Adam Ray 36:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:12 It's gotta be a kid that watches the UFC-

Adam Ray 36:14 Totally.

Joe Rogan 36:14 ... and goes, "That is me."

Adam Ray 36:16 Like, Tiger Woods was golfing, what, at like three, two or three, right?

Joe Rogan 36:19 Right.

Adam Ray 36:19 Like, it's so, not that you would be doing UFC or MMA at that age, but it, what is the young-

Joe Rogan 36:26 But you would. Because a lot of people-

Adam Ray 36:28 If you were into it, yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:28 ... uh, who have sons, they, they, and daughters that are really into it, they start training them. A lot of these fighters train their kids at an early age.

Adam Ray 36:33 I remember having, like, uh, you know, WrestleMania type s- like, stuffed animals-

Joe Rogan 36:38 Uh-huh.

Adam Ray 36:38 ... and wrestling with them at like five, six, seven. But it didn't obviously turn into, uh, a passion, but, like, that at least was, like, at that age of, like, roughhousing and throwing shit around and, like, trying to...... beat somebody up. But I guess to take a shot to the dick as a kid, like, yeah, you gotta be made of steel.

Joe Rogan 36:55 Well, y- I think generally it's either your parents encourage you to do it early and you do, like, traditional martial arts and then you get kind of excited about it, and then you start watching the UFC as you get older. And then maybe you start doing some other stuff. Like, maybe you start out in jujitsu and then you work your way to a little Muay Thai. And then as you're, like, 13, 14 you probably start thinking, "I think I wanna fight."

Adam Ray 37:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:16 And that's what happens with a lot of these guys.

Adam Ray 37:17 You're probably not taking shit in school, by the way. Like, if your teacher's like, "Martin, I saw you weren't paying attention." You're like, "I'm bleeding out of my dick, lady." (blows raspberry) You know? Like, you're just-

Joe Rogan 37:26 Yeah.

Adam Ray 37:26 You've, you've seen, you've gone through some shit where you're like, "This is not my biggest concern right now."

Joe Rogan 37:30 Well, it's definitely not your biggest concern, but it's also boring. That's the real problem. When you do exciting things when you're young, you can't parse-

Adam Ray 37:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:36 ... it out in your head and go, "I know I have to do this boring thing because this is-"

Adam Ray 37:39 You're talking about school?

Joe Rogan 37:40 "... like, re-" Yeah.

Adam Ray 37:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:40 "This is really important." When you're doing this exciting thing-

Adam Ray 37:43 I know, man.

Joe Rogan 37:43 ... you're, you know, kicking people's heads off.

Adam Ray 37:45 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:45 Like (claps hands) , "This is way more fun. I don't wanna, I don't care-"

Adam Ray 37:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:48 "... about history."

Adam Ray 37:48 Did you play baseball, uh, at-

Joe Rogan 37:51 Played baseball.

Adam Ray 37:51 You did?

Joe Rogan 37:52 Yeah. Yeah, I did.

Adam Ray 37:52 What position?

Joe Rogan 37:53 Um, you know, I wasn't very good. Um, so I was, I was an outfielder. Uh, but one thing I did do is I hit, I either hit home runs or I struck out.

Adam Ray 38:01 Let's go.

Joe Rogan 38:02 Because I would never just try to get on base. The coach would always say, uh, "Just try to get on base."

Adam Ray 38:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:07 "Just try." I'd be like, "Right." (laughs)

Adam Ray 38:09 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 38:09 I just, I just fucking ignored-

Adam Ray 38:09 You're like, "That's cool."

Joe Rogan 38:10 I hated team sports. I was not a good team player-

Adam Ray 38:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:13 ... in that regard. Go- because, I mean, I was good in that I tried to catch balls-

Adam Ray 38:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:17 ... and I we- I would, tried to make the out.

Adam Ray 38:18 I bet you were a fun teammate though, right?

Joe Rogan 38:19 I was fun.

Adam Ray 38:19 You were the jokester and, like-

Joe Rogan 38:20 But I was also like, "I am going to hit the fuck out of this ball."

Adam Ray 38:23 Come on.

Joe Rogan 38:24 'Cause I hit my first home run I think when I was, like, 12 or something like that.

Adam Ray 38:27 Wow.

Joe Rogan 38:27 And I was like, "Oh, this is way better." I was like, "This is way better than just hitting a ball."

Adam Ray 38:32 Sure.

Joe Rogan 38:32 'Cause as you get bigger and stronger, as you, and you get a little bit more coordinated and you feel what it's like to really fucking connect and get your body into that.

Adam Ray 38:40 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:41 But that really translated into martial arts too, because learning how to hit things hard, I think it helped that I learned how to hit a baseball hard.

Adam Ray 38:48 Is there a correlation with, like, the, the torque and the-

Joe Rogan 38:51 Yeah.

Adam Ray 38:51 ... lower half-

Joe Rogan 38:52 100%.

Adam Ray 38:52 ... and the twisting? Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:53 Yeah, 100%, because when you're hitting a baseball, like, I was never a great baseball player, okay? I was just a kid who knew how to hit a ball hard.

Adam Ray 39:00 Still-

Joe Rogan 39:00 Like, I wasn't a good baseball player.

Adam Ray 39:01 You did hand-eye coordination.

Joe Rogan 39:02 But there was a thing about this, about this timing.

Adam Ray 39:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:06 This... (makes striking sound) Like, that, that translated directly into kicking things. Like, directly. So, I think learning that at an early age-

Adam Ray 39:13 Wow.

Joe Rogan 39:14 ... I was like, "Oh, it's, like, a body... it's a timing thing, but it's, like, a whip of your body."

Adam Ray 39:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:19 And that's the exact same thing with kicking.

Adam Ray 39:21 My, uh, my buddy, I'm actually wearing his hoodie, Cal Raleigh, his nickname is the Big Dumper. And he-

Joe Rogan 39:26 (laughs)

Adam Ray 39:26 ... had... He just lost the MVP to Aaron Judge by, like, four votes, but he had... And it was a big dispute, big debate because he's a switch-hitting catcher, he's a catcher, he hit 60 home runs this year.

Joe Rogan 39:37 Whoa.

Adam Ray 39:37 The most by any catcher ever. He... The most by any switch-hitting, um, catcher, uh, s- switch-hitting player. He broke, um, he just broke so many records. Aaron Judge ultimately won the MVP because statistically he was o- outrageous in so many categories, but it was a big debate. I'm biased, Cal's the man. Um, but also, you know, a catcher is handling so much more during the game.

Joe Rogan 40:00 Yeah.

Adam Ray 40:00 Aaron Judge played the outfield and then... Aaron Judge looks like if Four Loko grew into a person. Cal Raleigh is like... You wanna have a Bud Light with, he's a fucking everyman. He won the Home Run Derby. His dad who was his high school baseball coach was throwing pitches to him during... It was a better story for baseball, but I actually wanted to get your opinion on this. If you are going... 'Cause I think the writers were just like, "Stats." Like, Cal batted, like, .246, Judge was, like, .380 something, I think, to end the year. But again, Cal, like, broke all these records and for a catcher, and, like, made baseball cool and, like, put, you know, gave, um, a position a lot more love. And he's calling the whole game. He has to know the whole pitching staff. He comes in early. He's, he's catching the game, which is why it's unheard of for a catcher to be that offensively, you know, uh, powerful. But, um, he ultimately lost and a lot of people were bummed, uh, out about it. And, uh, I guess my question to you is if you were one of those, like... If you're assessing stuff like that, do you take into account, like, you know, what someone's impact for the game is or, uh, d- would you just go like, "No, no, who had the best stats?" And that's the MVP.

Joe Rogan 41:05 Yeah, it's a good conversation, right?

Adam Ray 41:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:07 It's a good conversation. I always-

Adam Ray 41:08 Do you follow baseball enough to fuck with that?

Joe Rogan 41:10 No, I don't.

Adam Ray 41:10 Yeah. All right, let's move on.

Joe Rogan 41:11 But if I... But-

Adam Ray 41:11 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:11 ... objectively I would say go with the best stats.

Adam Ray 41:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:14 The guy who's played the best.

Adam Ray 41:15 I guess.

Joe Rogan 41:15 That's the most valuable player.

Adam Ray 41:17 But a switch-hitting catcher, dude.

Joe Rogan 41:18 Look, it's a very valuable thing.

Adam Ray 41:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:19 It's just not the most valuable thing.

Adam Ray 41:21 Yeah. You know what they gave a lot of credit to is, like, judges, uh, in New York on the Yankees, and they get so much press and so much love. And Seattle's up here in the corner, right? Furthest away, like-

Joe Rogan 41:30 Right.

Adam Ray 41:30 ... everyone's just like, "Isn't that the fucking coffee Soundgarden place?" And it's like, "There's a catcher up there?" I mean, yeah. I don't know. I do- that stuff I think does matter, the, the national attention.

Joe Rogan 41:41 Mm-hmm.

Adam Ray 41:43 But, um, I don't know.

Joe Rogan 41:43 There was a guy that was a really good baseball player that became a martial artist and had a wicked right hand, this Japanese guy, Takanori Gomi. And, uh-

Adam Ray 41:52 Great name.

Joe Rogan 41:53 Oh, my God, this dude, he was a pitcher.

Adam Ray 41:54 Wait, martial arts and, oh, and played baseball?

Joe Rogan 41:56 Yeah.

Adam Ray 41:56 Wow.

Joe Rogan 41:56 He, he was a pitcher and he, like, that's how he started off. And he just had a whip to his right hand.

Adam Ray 42:02 Yeah, dude.

Joe Rogan 42:02 And you think about, like, how fast a pitcher moves his body and, I, I'm sure you've seen that one where... What's the dude's name that killed the bird?

Adam Ray 42:09 Oh, Randy Johnson?

Joe Rogan 42:11 (laughs)

Adam Ray 42:11 Bro, that's a former Mariner. That clip is amazing.

Joe Rogan 42:15 It's unbelievable. It's insane.

Adam Ray 42:16 I know it's, like, sad, but-

Joe Rogan 42:17 It's a once in a billion... It's very sad, but it's a once in a billion thing.

Adam Ray 42:20 Once in a trillion.

Joe Rogan 42:21 Yeah.

Adam Ray 42:21 Joe, the timing of that. First of all, birds fly through stadiums, like, you know, every now and then.

Joe Rogan 42:27 Oh... (laughs)

Adam Ray 42:27 And also you have the fastest throwing pitcher arguably in the history of the game.

Joe Rogan 42:31 Right.

Adam Ray 42:31 Throw, at his peak-

Joe Rogan 42:33 His peak.

Adam Ray 42:33 ... throwing, I think 100-

Joe Rogan 42:35 Heat. Throwing heat.

Adam Ray 42:36 He did. Can you imagine that bird-

Joe Rogan 42:37 And he hits that bird-

Adam Ray 42:38 ... right before that.

Joe Rogan 42:39 ... dead square.

Adam Ray 42:39 Do you think that bird... I mean, I don't know. Do they have thoughts?

Joe Rogan 42:41 He's got a tiny little fucking stupid brain looking for seeds.

Adam Ray 42:43 Okay.

Joe Rogan 42:43 Fuck that bird.

Adam Ray 42:43 Looking for seeds.

Joe Rogan 42:44 Fuck that bird. (laughs)

Adam Ray 42:45 (laughs) Fuck that bird.

Joe Rogan 42:46 Fuck that bird. Fuck that bird. That bird existed for that moment.

Adam Ray 42:48 It did.

Joe Rogan 42:48 The universe wanted us to see it. The bird was virtually pulverized and killed instantly. Famously, Johnson was sued by PETA for the obvious freak accident.

Adam Ray 42:56 (gasps) Sued?

Joe Rogan 42:56 That's insane.

Adam Ray 42:57 Not fake-

Joe Rogan 42:58 Sude.

Adam Ray 42:58 And look at this, Johnson resents the way he's remembered as the bird killer.

Joe Rogan 43:02 That-

Adam Ray 43:02 ... he was-

Joe Rogan 43:03 Randy Gotta Let It Go.

Adam Ray 43:04 His nickname was The Big Unit when he was in Seattle.

Joe Rogan 43:06 Yeah. No, I r- I remember that guy.

Adam Ray 43:08 Yeah. Dude, that's wild. And then there's the famous, uh, as w- if we're talking bird accidents, Fabio on the rollercoaster. Remember that?

Joe Rogan 43:14 No, what happened with Fabio on the rollercoaster?

Adam Ray 43:16 Fabio opened- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:16 He got hit by a bird?

Adam Ray 43:17 Oh, man. This is unbelievable.

Joe Rogan 43:19 Really?

Adam Ray 43:19 He's opening a rollercoaster at some theme park, I wanna say Great America. And he's on the beginning, and he's like, "Hello. Fabio here. I can't wait to ride the rollercoaster." And, (laughs) and, oh man. And somewhere in the journey, a bird flies out of nowhere and breaks his fucking nose, dude. Yep. Boom.

Joe Rogan 43:38 Bro.

Adam Ray 43:38 Feathers and all.

Joe Rogan 43:40 That's crazy.

Adam Ray 43:41 So everyone's like, "What happened?"

Joe Rogan 43:43 That is crazy.

Adam Ray 43:43 Yeah, then he goes on NBC to talk about it. I-

Joe Rogan 43:44 A goose! It was a goose.

Adam Ray 43:47 He's look... He's like-

Joe Rogan 43:47 Bro, goose are big. These-

Adam Ray 43:48 He's like, "I can't believe it's not butter, but I can believe that bird had a vengeance against my face." He was the butter guy, remember?

Joe Rogan 43:54 Oh, that's right. He was the, the romance novel guy too, right?

Adam Ray 43:58 Yeah. Yeah, dude. What a life.

Joe Rogan 43:59 Isn't that wild? Chicks like reading their porn.

Adam Ray 44:02 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:03 You know that?

Adam Ray 44:03 Great premise.

Joe Rogan 44:04 It w- it's true.

Adam Ray 44:05 It is.

Joe Rogan 44:05 It is true. Like, guys like watching porn-

Adam Ray 44:07 Before porn, that's what it was.

Joe Rogan 44:08 Yeah. Well, girls have always been into erotic literature. And some of it's like... The... You remember the Fifty Shades of Grey stuff?

Adam Ray 44:15 Come on, man. That was like-

Joe Rogan 44:16 All of a sudden, ladies wanted to get spit on and choked.

Adam Ray 44:19 (gasps)

Joe Rogan 44:19 Like, "What's happening?"

Adam Ray 44:20 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 44:20 My friends would tell me these stories like, "She told me to spit in her mouth." I was like, "What? Did you do it?"

Adam Ray 44:25 I know my stepdad was like, "Your mom wants me to push her against the drywall." I was like, "What?"

Joe Rogan 44:28 What the fuck? (laughs)

Adam Ray 44:29 I'm... Yeah. (laughs) This is an inside job, George.

Joe Rogan 44:31 It got real weird for a while.

Adam Ray 44:33 It did. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:34 But then it kinda died off and went back into the shadows. But romance novels, like pornographic romance novels-

Adam Ray 44:40 That was the first wave.

Joe Rogan 44:41 ... they're s- but they're not pornographic like visually. Even like the way they depict sex is like a feminine-

Adam Ray 44:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:47 ... way of doing it.

Adam Ray 44:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:48 But it's-

Adam Ray 44:49 But Fifty Shades of Grey, I think, was like-

Joe Rogan 44:50 That was graphic.

Adam Ray 44:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:52 Yeah.

Adam Ray 44:52 What the fuck?

Joe Rogan 44:53 What the fuck was that all about, ladies?

Adam Ray 44:55 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:56 What... Who are you hiding? And then there was the Twilight one. You wanna vampire that loves you and doesn't wanna eat you-

Adam Ray 45:01 I don't ever understand that. Yeah, I'll never... I mean-

Joe Rogan 45:02 ... but wants a dude who kills people-

Adam Ray 45:04 I guess it's not for us.

Joe Rogan 45:04 ... sucks their blood.

Adam Ray 45:05 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:05 He's been around for 1,700 years. You're only 16.

Adam Ray 45:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:08 The whole relationship is disgusting. This is disgusting.

Adam Ray 45:12 I know.

Joe Rogan 45:12 You're a thousand years old.

Adam Ray 45:12 That's a weird kink.

Joe Rogan 45:13 You got a 16-year-old girlfriend? This is-

Adam Ray 45:15 I know.

Joe Rogan 45:15 What are you talking about?

Adam Ray 45:16 Also, the werewolves and like the... Yeah, just having-

Joe Rogan 45:19 He was alive when Cleopatra was here.

Adam Ray 45:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:20 And he's talking to a fucking 17-year-old.

Adam Ray 45:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:22 This is stupid.

Adam Ray 45:23 Would you judge someone more that was into vampires or feet?

Joe Rogan 45:29 Um, vampires for sure.

Adam Ray 45:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:31 Feet's not that weird.

Adam Ray 45:32 It's not that weird, I guess.

Joe Rogan 45:33 It's kinda c- u- you know, they're cute. They look good.

Adam Ray 45:35 Yeah. You can justify feet.

Joe Rogan 45:37 Yeah. Makes sense, I guess.

Adam Ray 45:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:39 The vampire one is nuts.

Adam Ray 45:40 Yeah, you're right.

Joe Rogan 45:41 Like h- how, how old was the vampire in, uh, Twilight?

Narrator 45:44 I think like 20-something.

Adam Ray 45:45 They were high school maybe, right?

Joe Rogan 45:46 No, but he wasn't that old. Like I was saying, he's alive from Cleopatra. That was, that's bullshit.

Adam Ray 45:50 Oh.

Joe Rogan 45:50 He was... He's really probably only like supposed to be a couple hundred years old. Right? Is that the case?

Narrator 45:55 I never saw that. I thought he was supposed to be real old, though.

Joe Rogan 45:58 At least a hundred. (laughs)

Adam Ray 46:01 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:01 Imagine 100-year-old guy pretending he's, he's gotta-

Narrator 46:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:05 ... pretend and hang out in high school.

Adam Ray 46:07 Oh, my god.

Joe Rogan 46:07 That's how he fits in.

Adam Ray 46:08 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:10 (laughs)

Adam Ray 46:10 That's the premise.

Joe Rogan 46:10 That's how he fits in.

Adam Ray 46:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:11 100-year-old guy's gonna force himself to go to high school.

Adam Ray 46:13 Yeah, that's weird.

Joe Rogan 46:14 How old was he?

Narrator 46:14 104.

Joe Rogan 46:15 104. Okay. (laughs)

Narrator 46:17 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:17 In high school-

Adam Ray 46:18 By the way, so pa-

Joe Rogan 46:19 ... hanging out.

Adam Ray 46:19 Yeah. He didn't even look-

Joe Rogan 46:20 Looking handsome as fuck.

Adam Ray 46:21 Handsome as fuck, dude. But super pale. Something was up.

Joe Rogan 46:23 Mm-hmm. Well, you're in Seattle. You can get away with it up there.

Adam Ray 46:25 Totally. I went to the, um, I think it was opening night of Twilight when I did this movie, The Heat. It was, um, uh, after Bridesmaids, Paul Feig did this movie called The Heat with Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy. It's like a big, you know, uh, buddy cop, uh, and I played one of the bad guys. First big movie, summer blockbuster. I'm like... I heard the trailer was being played during Twilight, and I was like, "Never seen myself in a trailer." So my buddy's like, "We gotta go to fucking..." It was like they were playing the R-rated trailer, the red trailer. So we go to Twilight on like opening night at, uh, The ArcLight in, uh, in Hollywood. RIP. And, uh, and it's just all, like, what, I don't know, 10 to 16-year-old girls the whole theater, and then just me and my buddy just baked out of our minds. Like, very out of place. And everything's coming on. They're like announcing all the cast. All the girls are going nuts. Uh, but by the way, they didn't play the, uh, the trailer, uh, at all. So we're sitting there and he's like... I'm like, "All right. Let's get the fuck outta here. I don't wanna watch Twilight." He's like, "Well, we're here. We should watch it." (laughs) I'm like, "Best of luck," and I bounce. So I've never seen it.

Joe Rogan 47:25 Uh-

Adam Ray 47:25 Any of the Twilight movies.

Joe Rogan 47:26 They're not terrible.

Adam Ray 47:27 They're not.

Joe Rogan 47:28 They're not terrible, but they're odd. And I don't necessarily think they're made for boys. (laughs)

Adam Ray 47:34 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:34 I think it's a weird lady fantasy.

Adam Ray 47:35 It is. No, it's... Yeah, it's for the girls, yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:37 Yeah.

Adam Ray 47:37 What's our equivalent?

Joe Rogan 47:38 It's a weird lady fantasy. But it's very odd that there's a vampire movie that's specifically for ladies.

Adam Ray 47:43 You know what our equivalent is?

Joe Rogan 47:44 'Cause they think... What?

Adam Ray 47:44 Weird Science.

Joe Rogan 47:46 The show?

Adam Ray 47:47 No, the movie Weird Science.

Joe Rogan 47:48 Oh.

Adam Ray 47:48 Remember when the two guys make the woman on their computer?

Joe Rogan 47:50 That's right. Oh, that's right.

Adam Ray 47:51 Come on, dude. Anthony Michael Hall and, uh-

Joe Rogan 47:53 Yeah, I forgot about that.

Adam Ray 47:54 Great movie. Jamie?

Joe Rogan 47:55 Who was that lady? She was-

Adam Ray 47:56 Jamie, pull up the whole movie. Let's watch the whole movie.

Joe Rogan 47:58 That lady was very beautiful. Who was that?

Narrator 48:01 Kelly LeBrock.

Joe Rogan 48:02 Kelly LeBrock.

Adam Ray 48:03 British, I think.

Joe Rogan 48:04 She was... Yeah. She was this super hottie back in the day.

Adam Ray 48:07 That was one of the-

Joe Rogan 48:07 And they made her in a lab.

Adam Ray 48:08 Bro, that was one of the first movies I remember seeing being like, "Okay. What is this dick really for?"

Joe Rogan 48:14 << Weird Science. >> Man, that-

Adam Ray 48:15 Great. Oh, yeah, dude.

Joe Rogan 48:17 Yeah.

Adam Ray 48:17 Oh, not Anthony Michael Ha... Oh, wait. No, that's the remake. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:19 There's more than one?

Narrator 48:20 There's two different shows.

Adam Ray 48:20 Anthony Michael Hall was the first one.

Narrator 48:21 That's the TV show. That one's on, like-

Joe Rogan 48:21 Oh, there was a TV show.

Adam Ray 48:23 And was that Bill, uh, Paxton as the crazy brother?

Narrator 48:26 Uh...

Adam Ray 48:27 Yeah, dude. Who made that? John Hughes. Come on.

Narrator 48:32 Oh, awesome. Wow.

Adam Ray 48:32 Just had his finger on the pulse of cool.

Joe Rogan 48:34 Wow. How did they make her? What, what, what was the ingredients?

Adam Ray 48:38 Just... It was just... (laughs) Great question.

Joe Rogan 48:41 You know?

Adam Ray 48:41 It was... You sound like one of the parents trying to recreate her. "So how'd they make that girl, by the way?"

Joe Rogan 48:46 Look at that back then.

Narrator 48:46 This is Wyatt and Gary.

Joe Rogan 48:48 I give her a-

Narrator 48:48 It's like a Barbie doll. ... warm digis mammary glands.

Joe Rogan 48:51 Warm digis?

Adam Ray 48:52 Wow.

Narrator 48:52 Something is about to change their world.

Adam Ray 48:53 Yeah, dude.

Joe Rogan 48:53 Oh, look, they have a computer.

Narrator 48:55 Something out of this world.

Adam Ray 48:59 Yeah, dude.

Narrator 49:01 Alive. Alive. What would you little maniacs like to do first?

Adam Ray 49:04 Oh, my god. That's her opening question?

Narrator 49:07 It's really weird.... science. If you want to be a party animal, you have to learn to live in the jungle. Not us.

Joe Rogan 49:13 Not here. No way.

Narrator 49:15 She is turning their lives- Trust me for once, will you? (glass shatters) What is going on? Here, I don't know. I don't know either! ... their minds. This trailer is crazy.

Adam Ray 49:25 She just wanted to make them cool, right?

Narrator 49:27 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:28 She didn't even wanna fuck.

Adam Ray 49:29 No. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:31 (laughs)

Adam Ray 49:31 You know they must have been like, "Dude, did you not put in the right code?"

Narrator 49:34 (laughs)

Adam Ray 49:34 "She's here to, like, take us to dinner."

Joe Rogan 49:35 Yeah, "Why would you stop with that? Let's try one that doesn't talk as much."

Adam Ray 49:39 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:39 "Let's try the next one."

Adam Ray 49:40 I think they just did it on their computer. It was just, like, a bunch of-

Joe Rogan 49:42 Yeah. It's so easy to do back then.

Adam Ray 49:43 Such a funny thing too.

Joe Rogan 49:44 (laughs)

Adam Ray 49:45 Like, we were just so trusting. We're like, "That's probably how you do it-"

Joe Rogan 49:47 (laughs)

Adam Ray 49:47 "... if you were gonna do it."

Joe Rogan 49:48 (laughs) That's how stupid it is.

Adam Ray 49:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:50 Just put a c- a bunch of numbers-

Adam Ray 49:51 Put, yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:52 ... in a computer, and your door to your bedroom explodes.

Adam Ray 49:55 Hit enter. I know. Make the boobs bigger.

Joe Rogan 49:56 That's so ridiculous.

Adam Ray 49:57 Crazy.

Joe Rogan 49:58 It's funny because people p- probably thought, "One day."

Adam Ray 50:01 Yeah.

Narrator 50:02 Uh-

Joe Rogan 50:02 And that, they might be right.

Narrator 50:03 ... according to the plot, they, uh, they hack s- they hook some electrodes up, and they hack into a government computer system-

Joe Rogan 50:07 (laughs)

Narrator 50:07 ... for more power.

Adam Ray 50:08 Oh, for more power.

Joe Rogan 50:11 (laughs)

Narrator 50:11 (laughs)

Adam Ray 50:11 Awesome, dude. Believable plot. Table for One.

Joe Rogan 50:14 Oh, "As long as we have more power, we can just make a lady."

Adam Ray 50:17 Yeah, more power. But I guess when you're watching that-

Narrator 50:19 Right.

Adam Ray 50:19 ... yeah. You're just like, "That's, yeah, that's how-"

Joe Rogan 50:20 What are the odds that it makes a hot lady? Like, what are the odds-

Adam Ray 50:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:23 ... that that works first time ever? Two fucking high school kids figure it out.

Adam Ray 50:26 I'm surpri- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 50:26 And we were like, "Take my money."

Adam Ray 50:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 50:28 "Tell me this amazing story."

Adam Ray 50:30 Oh, yeah, dude.

Joe Rogan 50:31 (laughs)

Narrator 50:31 (laughs)

Adam Ray 50:31 I'm surprised there was no scary movie-type parody of that.

Joe Rogan 50:34 (yawns)

Adam Ray 50:34 Of them, like, making the wrong gal or something, you know?

Joe Rogan 50:37 Oh, my God.

Adam Ray 50:37 Like John Goodman in a, in a wig comes out.

Joe Rogan 50:40 What year was that?

Narrator 50:41 '85.

Joe Rogan 50:42 '85.

Adam Ray 50:43 Good for us.

Joe Rogan 50:44 What, what year was Soul Man?

Narrator 50:46 Uh, probably like '89.

Joe Rogan 50:49 Soul Man. I haven't seen Soul Man.

Narrator 50:50 '86.

Joe Rogan 50:51 What's that?

Narrator 50:52 Oh.

Joe Rogan 50:54 Okay. Go to that.

Narrator 50:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:57 Soul Man.

Narrator 50:57 C. Thomas Howell?

Joe Rogan 50:58 C. Thomas Howell pretends to be Black so he can go to a different school.

Narrator 51:02 He, like, he... I forget how it happened.

Joe Rogan 51:03 What the fuck?

Narrator 51:04 Something happened to him.

Joe Rogan 51:05 What the fuck?

Narrator 51:06 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:06 Wait, what? Yup. Bro, it's- No!

Narrator 51:10 Bro, it's crazy.

Adam Ray 51:12 Julia Louis. No!

Joe Rogan 51:14 Yeah, oh, yeah.

Adam Ray 51:14 It's not even good.

Joe Rogan 51:16 (laughs)

Adam Ray 51:17 Oh, God. What? Oh, man.

Joe Rogan 51:20 Yeah, Julia Louis-Dreyfus is in it.

Adam Ray 51:22 James Earl's in it.

Joe Rogan 51:23 Bro. (laughs)

Adam Ray 51:23 How did he sign off on this?

Joe Rogan 51:25 Because people didn't know any better back then.

Adam Ray 51:27 They, yeah. All right, fair enough. They didn't.

Joe Rogan 51:29 They didn't. They were basically just climbing out of the caves, and they were like, "What year is this?"

Narrator 51:33 He intentionally takes too many tanning pills to turn his skin darker and gets a scholarship-

Joe Rogan 51:38 Meant for African-Americans.

Narrator 51:39 ... meant for African-Americans.

Joe Rogan 51:39 Tanning pills.

Narrator 51:40 He took tanning pills. Like, as if they had tanning pills back then. (laughs)

Adam Ray 51:43 Is that a pre-tanning bed? What a... Dude, again.

Narrator 51:46 They have a peptide now.

Adam Ray 51:46 Now, do you think somebody pitched- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:47 They have a peptide now that can actually give you a tan. What does it do? Does it, like, just jack up your melanin?

Narrator 51:52 Uh, yeah. It looks like a melanin-

Joe Rogan 51:54 Somebody give that shit to Rachel Dolezal. See if they'd take her back.

Adam Ray 51:57 Oh, my God. Did somebody pitch a... Do you think somebody was like, "We got... We need a blackface movie, but what's the story?" And they're like, "Ugh."

Joe Rogan 52:04 Well, it was a comedy.

Adam Ray 52:05 "He wants to be tan. He takes too many... He tans too hard." It was a k- yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:10 And he can't get into scholarship any other way?

Adam Ray 52:13 'Cause that, that must've be-

Joe Rogan 52:14 Is that part of it?

Adam Ray 52:15 I guess, right? So, he got a scholarship-

Joe Rogan 52:17 It says African-American studies.

Adam Ray 52:18 ... because he was Black. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:19 Do you have to be African-American to stuff, study African-American studies? That doesn't even make sense.

Adam Ray 52:22 No. We're finding some holes in this.

Joe Rogan 52:23 That's just as bad as Weird Science.

Adam Ray 52:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:25 This is fucking...

Narrator 52:26 I found, uh-

Adam Ray 52:26 This is more science fiction.

Joe Rogan 52:28 ... I found an ar- uh, The New York Times 1985 article talking about, uh, warning pills, about getting an early tan. They had pills for getting a tan back then.

Adam Ray 52:36 Whoa. What did it do?

Joe Rogan 52:39 I'm looking it up.

Adam Ray 52:39 I know, like, carrots will do that to you.

Narrator 52:41 It says, "FDA replied, 'Canthaxanthin is not approved for use-"

Adam Ray 52:46 (laughs)

Narrator 52:46 "... to be ingested for, to color the human body.'"

Joe Rogan 52:49 What? "In oral tanning products-"

Adam Ray 52:52 Canthaxanthin.

Joe Rogan 52:52 "... the use of canthaxanthin in, in oral tanning products is illegal. Tanning products have been seized under the provisions of the Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act, and further attempts to import these tanning produ-" Oh, it's all imported. "FDA warns that tanning pills contain food colorings that accumulate in the blood, skin, fatty tissue, and organs such as the liver. They even cause the user's skin to acquire an o- they often cause the user's skin to acquire an orange tint." I didn't take the pills.

Adam Ray 53:22 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 53:23 I took no pills. They told me to take the pills. I said, "I don't need it."

Adam Ray 53:27 "I took a lot of those pills."

Joe Rogan 53:29 Yeah.

Adam Ray 53:30 "I drank, I took too many of those pills."

Joe Rogan 53:31 Wouldn't you love the Biden cocktail? What they would give him when he have to, would have to do, like, press conferences or a debate? The debate cocktail must be extraordinary.

Adam Ray 53:40 It was just Capri Sun and, uh, Plan B gummies.

Joe Rogan 53:43 Bro, it must be extraordinary.

Adam Ray 53:44 It's gotta be.

Joe Rogan 53:45 What happened to this guy? Get a real tan, not a fake orange tan. Sun tan pills.

Narrator 53:49 There it is.

Joe Rogan 53:49 You can get a real tan.

Adam Ray 53:50 Oh, my God.

Narrator 53:51 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 53:51 That, that guy looks... Yeah, he went from, like, white guy to-

Narrator 53:55 That's not real. I know it's not real.

Joe Rogan 53:56 No, they put a filter on his ass. But they used to be able to sell anything in the back of magazines, and it would just be a total scam.

Adam Ray 54:03 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 54:03 Oh, my God.

Adam Ray 54:04 You knew it was a scam just 'cause it was in the-

Joe Rogan 54:05 They sell you-

Adam Ray 54:05 ... back of the mag or what?

Joe Rogan 54:06 ... X-ray goggles and all kinds of shit that didn't work.

Adam Ray 54:08 Like SkyMall shit?

Joe Rogan 54:10 No, it was like the back of stupid magazines and stuff.

Adam Ray 54:12 Gotcha.

Joe Rogan 54:12 They were just fake ads. There was no rules back then.

Adam Ray 54:14 Fuck.

Joe Rogan 54:15 People would just scam people, sell you things that was totally horse shit. And you're like, you're stupid enough to send your money through the mail.

Adam Ray 54:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:21 And you never got anything back.

Adam Ray 54:23 I'll see some of that stuff on Amazon every now and then where I'm like, "How is this up there?" Like, there's certain-

Joe Rogan 54:27 Amazon has a lot of fake products, unfortunately.

Adam Ray 54:30 Right?

Joe Rogan 54:30 There's a, a lot of fake, um, supplements that are sold on Amazon.

Adam Ray 54:33 No way.

Joe Rogan 54:34 Yeah, so if you buy from a, a na- a major company, like Pure Encapsulation-

Adam Ray 54:38 Why don't they filter-

Narrator 54:39 It's a TikTok trend again somehow.

Adam Ray 54:39 Tik, yeah.

Narrator 54:40 Obviously.

Joe Rogan 54:41 Oh, TikTok trend again.

Narrator 54:42 We're taking this stuff down.

Joe Rogan 54:43 Tanning pills. They're taking it again.

Adam Ray 54:44 I mean, we... It's not surprising. We love our pills. America, what do we love? Our free speech and our pills.

Joe Rogan 54:48 We do enjoy-

Adam Ray 54:49 And our McDonald's.

Joe Rogan 54:50 We do enjoy a pill. This is an ad for BetterHelp. With the days getting colder, shorter, and darker, it can be tough for many. And really, you never know what someone might be going through. So here's a reminder to take the time to reach out and connect with the people you care about. Whether it's a sibling you see every week or a friend you haven't spoken to in months, you might-... be glad you did. And more often than not, you'll probably be kicking yourself for not doing it sooner. I mean, it's easier than you think, reaching out and talking to someone. The same is true for therapy. Plus, therapy is a great place to start if you're struggling to connect with someone. It's good to have a professional therapist you can talk to who can guide you through any issues in your life. Finding the right therapist has also never been easier, thanks to BetterHelp. They have an extensive network with access to over 30,000 therapists worldwide, and they do the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. It's one of many reasons why people continue to rate BetterHelp so highly. So, this month, don't wait to reach out. Whether you're checking in on a friend or reaching out to a therapist yourself, BetterHelp makes it easier to take that first step. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/jre. That's betterhelp.com/jre. Um, what is the-

Narrator 56:13 (coughs)

Joe Rogan 56:13 (laughs)

Adam Ray 56:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:13 What's the... Can I... Can you show me what it looks like? Is there like a before and after taking that stuff?

Narrator 56:17 That's what I was look- that's what I did. That's what this-

Adam Ray 56:19 It's only that.

Narrator 56:20 ... guy was. I don't, this-

Joe Rogan 56:21 Yeah, but there's gotta be like some modern people. Are those... That one's AI in the second row, right? With that girl with the crazy eyes?

Narrator 56:27 That's AI. That's AI.

Adam Ray 56:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:28 (laughs)

Adam Ray 56:28 Oh. Side effects.

Joe Rogan 56:29 So this guy took it.

Narrator 56:31 Maybe.

Joe Rogan 56:31 Interesting.

Narrator 56:32 He could've also just put tanning lotion on his skin.

Adam Ray 56:33 Yeah, I mean, that's the thing, too.

Joe Rogan 56:35 Yeah.

Adam Ray 56:35 It's like those before and after weight loss things. It's like, was it really the product or did you just-

Joe Rogan 56:39 You know-

Adam Ray 56:40 ... take some time off.

Joe Rogan 56:40 ... we were talking about last night, uh, Brendan Schaub and I, one time we were watching these bodybuilders. And, you know, bodybuilders used to dye all of their skin, including their face.

Adam Ray 56:51 For what?

Joe Rogan 56:52 Well, y- the more, the darker your skin is, the more contrast, the more it shows your muscles.

Adam Ray 56:56 Gotcha.

Joe Rogan 56:56 So when they get like real shredded and they, they dye their skin like super dark brown.

Adam Ray 57:00 I always wondered why they were all so...

Joe Rogan 57:02 But now, after the woke stuff, it's become offensive to dye your face. So they dye their whole body and they leave their face white.

Adam Ray 57:09 Hilarious.

Joe Rogan 57:10 So they have chocolate body-

Adam Ray 57:12 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:12 ... full chocolate body, white face.

Adam Ray 57:14 Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 57:14 It's so silly.

Adam Ray 57:16 Like Neapolitan body.

Joe Rogan 57:17 It's so silly.

Adam Ray 57:18 Oh my...

Joe Rogan 57:18 It's like, what are you doing?

Adam Ray 57:20 Who got him? Who came-

Joe Rogan 57:21 What is this craziness you've done here?

Adam Ray 57:23 Who complained about that?

Joe Rogan 57:24 Look at him. Look.

Adam Ray 57:25 Oh. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:27 (laughs) Look at him. Like-

Adam Ray 57:27 Well, I mean-

Joe Rogan 57:27 Look how kooky that is.

Adam Ray 57:29 That is co- (wheezes) (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:30 That's not even the kookiest. There's some really kooky ones-

Adam Ray 57:32 Oh.

Joe Rogan 57:33 ... where people have white faces.

Adam Ray 57:35 Dude, what are you doing?

Joe Rogan 57:36 Dude, well that's... (laughs) There's a whole video of me and Schaub, like with a, with a bunch of different examples in it where we thought was really funny.

Adam Ray 57:43 Man, the discipline of the bodybuilders.

Joe Rogan 57:45 But it got w- weird because they, yeah, like look at that guy. That's-

Adam Ray 57:49 Oh my gosh.

Joe Rogan 57:49 ... ridiculous because he can't do his face like that 'cause he looks fully black.

Adam Ray 57:54 So now you just have to accept that this is how they're all gonna come out and look on stage and just-

Joe Rogan 57:59 Well, that guy went for it.

Adam Ray 58:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:00 He's like, "Fuck it."

Adam Ray 58:01 "Fuck it." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:02 "Fuck it, I'm going black face."

Adam Ray 58:03 Yeah, that's Bared Breinstein.

Joe Rogan 58:04 Yeah. Yeah, you can kind of go brown face. But if you wanna get full chocolate body, like some guys go full dark.

Narrator 58:11 Dude, wild.

Joe Rogan 58:11 Like so dark they, they could be like straight from Cameroon.

Adam Ray 58:15 Can I ask you-

Joe Rogan 58:15 That guy's pretty dark right there. I mean, damn.

Adam Ray 58:18 Can I as-

Joe Rogan 58:18 Look at those quads.

Adam Ray 58:19 So that's what I actually want to know.

Joe Rogan 58:21 Christ.

Adam Ray 58:21 And I mean no disrespect by this. What?

Joe Rogan 58:24 (laughs)

Adam Ray 58:25 What? Why? Why? Like what makes you wanna have... There was a girl I went to elementary school with, and she, for a little bit, became a bodybuilder.

Joe Rogan 58:35 Mm-hmm.

Adam Ray 58:35 And I think it, I looked at it as she had kids. I think she was maybe mid-life crisis and was just like, "I wanna do something where I push myself and get into shredded, amazing shape-"

Joe Rogan 58:47 Okay.

Adam Ray 58:47 ... is how I viewed it from a Facebook, uh, vantage point. But like, is this in you as a kid? Is it like you have a, a thirst for working out and then you just go too far? Or is it the same way we like stand-up and have an addiction to that and, and a love for it? Is it really like, "I wanna compete and win, win at this"? It's not just about looking good. It's about like having the best instrument and competing against other bodies and having the best body? Is that...

Joe Rogan 59:13 Well, litter is a bodybuilding competition.

Adam Ray 59:15 Right, but like why do- like to have your legs look like that? What is the...

Joe Rogan 59:19 Different people like different things, Adam Ray.

Adam Ray 59:21 All right.

Joe Rogan 59:22 You know? And they clearly like being jacked.

Adam Ray 59:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:24 They like looking like that.

Adam Ray 59:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:25 They like being, they look like a fucking living, human, incredible hulk.

Adam Ray 59:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:30 They like it.

Adam Ray 59:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:31 You know?

Adam Ray 59:32 And there's, yeah, they're still just people.

Joe Rogan 59:34 I mean, it's, uh, the, people have always been fascinated by extreme bodies. That's why Pumping Iron was such a big film. You know, people are fascinated by people that are willing to do this-

Adam Ray 59:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:43 ... and go, go that far with something.

Adam Ray 59:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:45 Here's the question, though. What bothers you about it? Does it bother you, like it's a waste of time?

Adam Ray 59:51 Oh, nothing bothers me. Oh, no, no, no.

Joe Rogan 59:52 Why would you wanna do that?

Adam Ray 59:53 I, I guess why, I guess it's just so far.

Joe Rogan 59:56 Here's my question.

Adam Ray 59:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:57 If they had a pill, and I give you this pill-

Adam Ray 1:00:00 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:00:00 ... and all of a sudden you look like that. Are you taking it or not?

Adam Ray 1:00:03 Well, let me-

Joe Rogan 1:00:04 No work.

Adam Ray 1:00:05 So, when I-

Joe Rogan 1:00:06 It's the lottery in a pill.

Adam Ray 1:00:07 So let me, let me answer that question with-

Joe Rogan 1:00:09 Okay.

Adam Ray 1:00:10 When I played Vince McMahon on The Rock Show, about his life, for a few seasons on NBC, I got a trainer to bulk up. I got, I got a little bigger. Not Vince big. But there was a moment where a friend of mine came to me and was like, "There's an easy way and there's a (laughs) not an easy way." And I was like, "What's the easy way?" And he did suggest like some crazy shit, and I was like, "I don't think I wanna be, look like that, unless the show really asked me." But I don't think I would.

Joe Rogan 1:00:37 Would you wanna look like Canelo Alvarez?

Adam Ray 1:00:40 Sure.

Joe Rogan 1:00:41 Yeah. So you mean a pill?

Adam Ray 1:00:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:42 Yeah. You'd take that?

Adam Ray 1:00:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:44 You'd take really good-

Adam Ray 1:00:45 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:00:45 ... muscular physique?

Adam Ray 1:00:46 Yeah, I did.

Joe Rogan 1:00:46 Nothing crazy, but-

Adam Ray 1:00:47 Nothing crazy.

Joe Rogan 1:00:48 But yeah.

Adam Ray 1:00:49 Yeah, and no judgment.

Joe Rogan 1:00:50 Right.

Adam Ray 1:00:50 Maybe e- I, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:00:51 But you would take that pill, right?

Adam Ray 1:00:53 Sure.

Joe Rogan 1:00:53 All right.

Adam Ray 1:00:56 I guess I'm more impressed-

Joe Rogan 1:00:57 Be Vince.

Adam Ray 1:00:57 I guess he's a-

Joe Rogan 1:00:57 That was when Vince was 100 years old.

Adam Ray 1:00:59 I'm more impressed by the, I guess, the discipline of, of what you must have to do. Because I know that it's not just like taking stuff to make your legs look that defined and muscular.

Joe Rogan 1:01:09 Well-

Adam Ray 1:01:09 Like there's-

Joe Rogan 1:01:09 To be that guy-

Adam Ray 1:01:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:11 ... at his age-

Adam Ray 1:01:11 Fuck no.

Joe Rogan 1:01:11 That's bananas, because like you look at Vince McMahon's build. I don't give a fuck how old he is. I don't care if he's 80, uh, oh, i- uh, I don't care if he's 40. Like if you're built that way, you're putting in hours.

Adam Ray 1:01:23 Yeah, dude.

Joe Rogan 1:01:23 Period. You're putting in hours. There's no way around it. Like steroids don't make you grow. They make you recover.

Adam Ray 1:01:29 Yep.

Joe Rogan 1:01:30 I mean, they do make you grow a little. I think if you t- I think the...... if you just took 'em and didn't do any work at all, I think they do put some muscle on you. But that kinda muscle is continual work over decades.

Adam Ray 1:01:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:43 That, that guy is super jacked.

Adam Ray 1:01:45 Yeah. That's why I'm so split on the baseball steroid stuff, where it's like, Barry Bonds, yeah, he took-

Joe Rogan 1:01:49 It's the only thing fun about the game.

Adam Ray 1:01:52 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:52 Give him the 'roids.

Adam Ray 1:01:54 Give him the 'roids.

Joe Rogan 1:01:54 Let him hit the ball. Are we fucking stupid?

Adam Ray 1:01:56 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 1:01:56 Do you wanna compete with China or no?

Adam Ray 1:01:58 That's so funny.

Joe Rogan 1:01:59 'Merica! Do we have the means? Yes, we do. Do we know how it works? Yes, we do. But what are we doing skinny?

Adam Ray 1:02:06 That's so funny.

Joe Rogan 1:02:07 What are we, what do we got all these skinny hitters for?

Adam Ray 1:02:08 That's so funny.

Joe Rogan 1:02:09 Oh, we gotta make sure no one's cheating.

Adam Ray 1:02:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:12 Make it legal.

Adam Ray 1:02:12 Hit all the home runs.

Joe Rogan 1:02:13 Make it legal. Make it mandatory. I want every baseball player, player-

Adam Ray 1:02:18 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:02:18 ... to be roided out of his mind. Just giant, fucking, superhero-looking dudes who crush it into the fucking parking lot.

Adam Ray 1:02:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:02:25 Crack! I want baseball bats broken-

Adam Ray 1:02:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:28 ... like five out of 10 games.

Adam Ray 1:02:29 Greg Giraldo had a great old joke. He goes, "I want Barry Bonds to come out as one giant chest muscle."

Joe Rogan 1:02:34 Yeah.

Adam Ray 1:02:34 And he was ta- and he was saying how it's so fucked that Congress was like cracking down on that and taking away records. He goes, "You're taking away records." He goes, he goes, "You know what else?" He goes, "'Cause they say it's an elicit substance. You know what else is an elicit substance? Crack cocaine. No one's taking gold records away from Whitney Houston."

Joe Rogan 1:02:48 (laughs)

Adam Ray 1:02:49 (laughs) One of my favorite Giraldo jokes. That's a great joke. Come on. Oh. But he's right. That's a great joke. I mean, and, and, and you're right, I think. I mean it, it is, for months-

Joe Rogan 1:02:56 I did a TV show with Barry Bonds. I did a-

Adam Ray 1:02:59 Please, the floor is yours.

Joe Rogan 1:03:00 And after ... There was a show that I did, a baseball show called Hardball, where I played this baseball player. In one of the episodes, it was Barry Bonds was, uh, like the guest for the day. Super nice guy.

Adam Ray 1:03:11 Cool.

Joe Rogan 1:03:11 But he was normal size Barry Bonds back then. It was before-

Adam Ray 1:03:14 Still ripping it, by the way.

Joe Rogan 1:03:15 Oh, yeah, still like one of the best ba- baseball players of all time, and super nice guy.

Adam Ray 1:03:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:19 Like real friendly to everybody.

Adam Ray 1:03:21 Cool.

Joe Rogan 1:03:21 And it was just like, "Holy shit, that's Barry Bonds. Like this show must be for real." It wasn't for real.

Adam Ray 1:03:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:03:25 It got canceled.

Adam Ray 1:03:26 Fuck.

Joe Rogan 1:03:26 The show died. But we did get Barry Bonds.

Adam Ray 1:03:28 That's awesome.

Joe Rogan 1:03:29 But it was, uh, it was interesting, 'cause I got to see him as normal size Barry Bonds.

Adam Ray 1:03:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:33 And then he got-

Adam Ray 1:03:34 There was a difference.

Joe Rogan 1:03:35 ... fucking jacked.

Adam Ray 1:03:36 I mean, dude, it's like-

Joe Rogan 1:03:37 Bro, he got fucking jacked.

Adam Ray 1:03:38 ... significantly. But you still have to ... Hand-eye coordination, you still have to hit the ball.

Joe Rogan 1:03:42 Oh, 100%, man, no, no, no.

Adam Ray 1:03:43 It's not making your eyes clear, right? It's not like-

Joe Rogan 1:03:45 It's definitely making your body perform better and on top of that, recover quicker, so you could do more work. That's, that's a big factor.

Adam Ray 1:03:52 So that's, that's the main reason people do it, is the recov- the recovery.

Joe Rogan 1:03:54 Oh, yeah.

Adam Ray 1:03:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:55 Well, not just a big fa- uh, just, not just recovery, but, uh, your