Joe Rogan Experience #2436 - Whitney Cummings

Joe Rogan 0:00 [upbeat music]

Joe Rogan 0:02 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!

Whitney Cummings 0:04 The Joe Rogan Experience.

Joe Rogan 0:06 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. [upbeat music]

Whitney Cummings 0:12 So that's just for Dice to hold?

Joe Rogan 0:15 Yeah, he just holds onto them. Oh! And he, m- he holds onto them, and then he swaps them out for a new one.

Whitney Cummings 0:22 Was the unlit cigarette, like, the original fidget spinner?

Joe Rogan 0:26 [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 0:28 Like-

Joe Rogan 0:28 Well, most people don't do it, because most people, when they have a cigarette in their hand, they wanna light it.

Whitney Cummings 0:32 Mm.

Joe Rogan 0:32 But Dice has got the ability to just hold onto the cigarette.

Whitney Cummings 0:38 Do you remember when candy cigarettes were a toy for kids?

Joe Rogan 0:42 Yeah, I had those.

Whitney Cummings 0:43 [laughing] You do right?

Joe Rogan 0:44 Oh, yeah, they were priming you.

Whitney Cummings 0:45 Totally, and they would poof, like, sugar would come out.

Joe Rogan 0:48 No, I don't remember that.

Whitney Cummings 0:49 Oh, yeah, you'd go [exhaling] and, like, powdered sugar would come out.

Joe Rogan 0:51 Really?

Whitney Cummings 0:52 Yeah. Am I right, Jamie? Am I making that up?

Joe Rogan 0:54 I remember them just being like a candy that you sucked on.

Whitney Cummings 0:55 Or was that just the cocaine-

Speaker 0:57 Yeah, just a stick

Whitney Cummings 0:57 ... my parents put on it? [laughing]

Joe Rogan 0:59 Yeah, it was just a candy stick.

Speaker 1:00 Nasty chalk stick. I remember them.

Joe Rogan 1:01 Maybe there was, maybe there was a different one. Maybe there's more than one kind of candy cigarette.

Whitney Cummings 1:05 Couldn't you... There was, like, gummy cigars, I remember, and then the candy cigarettes. That must have been them just trying to get you addicted to just, like, the motion of it or, like, participate with your parents or something.

Joe Rogan 1:17 Yeah, it was just a way to sell candy, but probably also engineered by the tobacco companies.

Whitney Cummings 1:23 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:23 That was back when they were lying about cigarettes being addictive, too, and causing cancer.

Whitney Cummings 1:27 Well, they used to prescribe it to pregnant women, right? To-

Joe Rogan 1:30 They used to just prescribe it for kids with asthma.

Whitney Cummings 1:32 [laughing] Yeah, and-

Joe Rogan 1:34 Yeah, you need to strengthen those lungs up, fella.

Whitney Cummings 1:36 And this is my favorite thing: Did they know? They already knew.

Joe Rogan 1:41 Yeah, they already knew.

Whitney Cummings 1:41 They already knew.

Joe Rogan 1:43 Everybody had to know.

Whitney Cummings 1:44 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:44 You smoke cigarettes for a while, you start coughing up black shit.

Whitney Cummings 1:46 Yep.

Joe Rogan 1:46 You feel terrible.

Speaker 1:47 According to the internet, this, this pack did have some sort of... would blow smoke, according to this person on Facebook.

Joe Rogan 1:54 Whoa!

Whitney Cummings 1:55 Well, it's just like sugar.

Speaker 1:55 But I remember a play lighter or a-

Whitney Cummings 1:57 Me either

Speaker 1:57 ... lighter battery, so [laughing]

Joe Rogan 1:59 A battery? [laughing]

Speaker 2:01 I don't know what that is.

Whitney Cummings 2:01 [laughing] Smoke that was stuck on this battery.

Joe Rogan 2:03 What the fuck?

Whitney Cummings 2:05 As kids, we would suck on actual batteries if we, if we wanted to kill ourselves.

Joe Rogan 2:07 [laughing] Oh, yeah. Remember when you lick them?

Whitney Cummings 2:08 Dude, we would just-

Joe Rogan 2:09 Uh, uh.

Whitney Cummings 2:09 -to try to electrocute [laughing] the square one.

Joe Rogan 2:12 Just the nine volts?

Whitney Cummings 2:13 [laughing]

Joe Rogan 2:13 Yeah, the nine volts.

Whitney Cummings 2:13 We'd be in school just like, "Lick it, lick, lick it." [laughing]

Joe Rogan 2:15 Yeah, we would lick it just to get a jolt in your tongue. Ah, ooh!

Whitney Cummings 2:18 [laughing] It is, it is wild how, like... Like, yes, the phones are obviously very bad for kids, but when you think about the stuff we did as kids, I was just like-- I would just hang out with a light socket for, like, two hours. It's all I needed, a paperclip, light socket, like, it's a m-

Joe Rogan 2:30 Light socket?

Whitney Cummings 2:31 Or like a... Yeah, the, uh, the, the-

Joe Rogan 2:33 Electric socket?

Whitney Cummings 2:34 Electric socket.

Joe Rogan 2:35 You would go into an electric socket with a paper clip?

Whitney Cummings 2:38 Did no one else do this? [laughing]

Joe Rogan 2:40 That's really bad.

Whitney Cummings 2:41 Did you inhale glue or no?

Joe Rogan 2:43 Oh, I sniffed it.

Whitney Cummings 2:43 Rubber cement?

Joe Rogan 2:44 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Whitney Cummings 2:44 Okay, good. I'm like, uh, okay.

Joe Rogan 2:45 Oh, I used to love making models. I used to make, like, Godzilla models. You know, those-

Whitney Cummings 2:50 Oh, with glue!

Joe Rogan 2:50 Do you remember those models? Yeah, you had rubber cement glue.

Whitney Cummings 2:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:53 Do you remember those?

Whitney Cummings 2:53 Yeah, yeah. You would... I mean, Elmer's, too.

Joe Rogan 2:55 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 2:55 You could peel it off your skin. We'd just put it on our skin-

Joe Rogan 2:57 Uh-huh

Whitney Cummings 2:57 ... and just peel it off.

Joe Rogan 2:58 Oh, yeah.

Whitney Cummings 2:59 Just like a leprosy fetish or something.

Joe Rogan 3:01 Yeah. Well, the, uh, the rubber cement glue was a big one, though.

Whitney Cummings 3:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:05 A lot of people sniffed glue.

Whitney Cummings 3:07 We used to have a glue gun. My mom had a glue gun.

Joe Rogan 3:10 For what?

Whitney Cummings 3:11 To, like, a hot glue gun to gl-

Joe Rogan 3:12 Whoa.

Whitney Cummings 3:12 Craft- crafts, arts, crafts.

Joe Rogan 3:14 Okay.

Whitney Cummings 3:15 Kill men. I don't know.

Joe Rogan 3:16 [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 3:16 When you, when you look back at shit your parents did, you're like, "Mm, what was that?"

Joe Rogan 3:19 [laughing] What were you interested in?

Whitney Cummings 3:20 Why did she have powdered gold and put it in coffee of the men she was dating? What was that?

Joe Rogan 3:24 Uh...

Whitney Cummings 3:25 Uh, but, like, a glue gun, like, there was just so much dangerous shit growing up. When I think about my, like, injuries as a kid, I'm like: Yeah, I got burned on the glue gun. Everyone's like: "Huh?"

Joe Rogan 3:33 Yeah, they weren't looking out for kids back then. Like, when did they start, like, worrying about dangerous toys?

Whitney Cummings 3:40 I th- I mean, I- after, like, the 50th lawn dart, you know, aorta puncture, like- [laughing]

Joe Rogan 3:46 Oh, I remember the lawn darts. Those were crazy.

Whitney Cummings 3:48 You're just throwing like-

Joe Rogan 3:49 It's a fucking weapon, and they were heavy.

Whitney Cummings 3:51 [laughing] Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:51 If they hit you in the head, you would die. [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 3:53 Dude, just like tetanus, like-

Joe Rogan 3:55 Right in the heart

Whitney Cummings 3:56 ... like, [laughing]

Joe Rogan 3:56 Let's, let's look this up. How many people do you think have died from lawn darts?

Whitney Cummings 4:00 Lawn darts. [laughing]

Joe Rogan 4:02 It has to be-

Whitney Cummings 4:02 By the way, way more than is reported, for sure.

Joe Rogan 4:04 Right, right, right.

Whitney Cummings 4:05 I'm just putting this here so I don't-

Joe Rogan 4:06 It has to be dozens.

Whitney Cummings 4:07 And seesaws.

Joe Rogan 4:09 Uh, yeah, seesaws-

Whitney Cummings 4:10 You remember seesaws?

Joe Rogan 4:11 ... fucked a lot of people up.

Whitney Cummings 4:11 No seatbelt, no-

Joe Rogan 4:13 No

Whitney Cummings 4:13 ... just, just plywood-

Joe Rogan 4:16 Right

Whitney Cummings 4:16 ... with handles.

Joe Rogan 4:16 With a handle.

Whitney Cummings 4:17 But we would also... It's such a testament to our nature, 'cause we would make it even more dangerous. Like, remember, like, you'd be on the seesaw, like, if you were up, I would- You'd, like, jump off it-

Joe Rogan 4:25 Oh, yeah, yeah

Whitney Cummings 4:25 ... to watch the kid just-

Joe Rogan 4:26 Just to watch the kid fucking plummet to the earth. [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 4:29 So sadistic.

Joe Rogan 4:30 [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 4:30 Just careen to the ground.

Joe Rogan 4:31 Okay, what is, uh, our sponsor Perplexity said, uh, "Pointed metal lawn darts-

Whitney Cummings 4:37 [laughing]

Joe Rogan 4:37 ... were officially linked to three child deaths in the United States before they were banned." Just three?

Whitney Cummings 4:41 Definitely more than that.

Joe Rogan 4:42 "Officially linked from '78 to '86, approximately 6,100 to 6,700 people were treated in US emergency rooms for lawn dart injuries, most of them children."

Whitney Cummings 4:53 Mm.

Joe Rogan 4:53 "Found lawn dart injuries led to a 4% case fatality rate-

Whitney Cummings 4:58 Hmm

Joe Rogan 4:58 ... in its patient sample, with many severe head and eye injuries, with help- which helped to justify the eventual ban." Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 5:05 So only a couple, a cou- but mostly children. I would like to know the story of the adults. [laughing]

Joe Rogan 5:11 But, I mean, people hit people with shovels.

Whitney Cummings 5:13 All the time.

Joe Rogan 5:13 I mean, like, like...

Whitney Cummings 5:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:15 I guess it was because lawn darts are a toy-

Whitney Cummings 5:18 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 5:19 ... that they had to ban it.

Whitney Cummings 5:20 Yeah, there was a lot of that. Remember, um, what are they? Pogo sticks.

Joe Rogan 5:25 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 5:25 I mean, those were so dangerous when you think about it. They were just like, eh, eh. They were just like, always.

Joe Rogan 5:30 Mm-hmm. They still have those, though.

Whitney Cummings 5:31 Pogo sticks?

Joe Rogan 5:31 You still got pogo sticks.

Whitney Cummings 5:31 Those were hard to do.

Speaker 5:32 I also looked up the most dangerous toys for kids, and-

Whitney Cummings 5:34 Trampolines. Remember the ones with the metal coils?

Joe Rogan 5:37 Oh, did you ever see the atomic energy lab in the 1950s?

Whitney Cummings 5:41 Yes.

Joe Rogan 5:42 Yeah, it actually had legitimate radioactive material. [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 5:46 [laughing] I l- I love that they were like, "You know what, guys? Child labor, this is inhumane. This is wrong. Come, g- go-

Joe Rogan 5:52 [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 5:52 ... play with some toys. Here's a radioactive uranium bomb."

Joe Rogan 5:55 Well, uh, didn't Michio Kaku make a, some sort of a reactor in his basement or his backyard or something like that when he was a child?

Speaker 6:04 When he was in high school, I think.

Whitney Cummings 6:05 Shit.

Joe Rogan 6:05 Yeah. [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 6:06 Legend. [laughing]

Joe Rogan 6:08 [laughing] Well, he's, like, a legitimate scientist.

Whitney Cummings 6:10 [laughing]

Joe Rogan 6:11 But, I mean, when he was a child, he made a fucking nuclear reactor in his backyard.

Whitney Cummings 6:15 Well, I went to get, um, uh, NyQuil or Sudafed the other day-

Joe Rogan 6:19 Mm-hmm

Whitney Cummings 6:19 ... and they made me show my ID.

Joe Rogan 6:21 Oh, yeah, 'cause you can make meth with it.

Whitney Cummings 6:22 Right. Right, right, right.

Joe Rogan 6:23 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 6:23 Sick.

Joe Rogan 6:24 Meanwhile, you can get a prescription for Adderall if you just say you have ADHD.

Whitney Cummings 6:27 I don't even think you have to do that. You just have to be like: "I'm bored."... Right. [laughs] I'm neurodivergent.

Joe Rogan 6:32 That just gave it to you.

Whitney Cummings 6:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:33 Right. You, I m- I mean, it's all self-diagnosed. You know, I just can't concentrate.

Whitney Cummings 6:37 Are we gonna look back the way that we look at, like, you know, the Nazis and go like, "They were on meth"? Are we gonna look back in, like, 20 years and be like, "Everyone was on meth," just-

Joe Rogan 6:44 Yeah, everyone's on Adderall-

Whitney Cummings 6:46 Mm

Joe Rogan 6:46 ... that's for damn sure.

Whitney Cummings 6:47 Is really?

Joe Rogan 6:47 I mean, the amount of journalists that are on Adderall is off the charts.

Whitney Cummings 6:50 Sure.

Joe Rogan 6:50 A friend of mine was telling me, like, all of his colleagues take Adderall.

Whitney Cummings 6:54 To f- uh, uh, to-

Joe Rogan 6:55 Help them work.

Whitney Cummings 6:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:57 'Cause they have so many projects that they're doing that require intense fucking research, and they're, you know-

Whitney Cummings 7:03 Googling. S-

Joe Rogan 7:04 [laughs]

Whitney Cummings 7:04 Saying, "ChatGPT, please write my article for me." Did you see, I think it was the New York Times, or someone left in... Uh, Jamie, uh, do you remember s- the prompt that ends the, you know, what it spits out on ChatGPT?

Joe Rogan 7:17 Oh, God!

Whitney Cummings 7:17 To prove that they had just copy and pasted it? Like, wild.

Joe Rogan 7:21 Yeah. Well, there's a lot of that. There's a lot of shitty people in every walk of life. There's bad doctors, bad plumbers-

Whitney Cummings 7:28 Mm

Joe Rogan 7:28 ... bad journalists, but a lot of them are on Adderall. A lot of them are on speed.

Whitney Cummings 7:34 It's just that there's so much adrenaline out there to get. There's so many, like, natural ways, I feel like, to get that, you know?

Joe Rogan 7:39 Yeah, but I don't think it covers it.

Whitney Cummings 7:41 Mm.

Joe Rogan 7:41 And I think if you really wanna, like, sit in front of that fu- fucking computer and-

Whitney Cummings 7:44 Yeah

Joe Rogan 7:44 ... bang out words, it seems like Adderall's the way to go.

Whitney Cummings 7:47 But if you really do have ADD or whatever this is... Like, I'm the first to say, like, "What are all these diagnoses?" I, um, but... 'Cause I was prescribed five milligrams slow-release Adderall to sleep.

Joe Rogan 7:59 To sleep?

Whitney Cummings 8:00 If you actually have it, it calms you down. It doesn't amp you up.

Joe Rogan 8:03 What is it? What is it-

Whitney Cummings 8:04 Oh, um, uh-

Joe Rogan 8:05 ... ADHD?

Whitney Cummings 8:06 The inability to focus, or the-

Joe Rogan 8:07 Is that real?

Whitney Cummings 8:07 ... a busy brain. I, I, dude, I, uh, look, I just, I think a lot of our superpowers are being dull. A lot of people's-

Joe Rogan 8:15 Uh-huh

Whitney Cummings 8:15 ... superpowers are being dulled by pharma, and we're being pathologized for actually kind of extreme strengths, you know, in a lot of ways. So-

Joe Rogan 8:23 There's a lot of, like, legitimate people that are arguing that about ADHD.

Whitney Cummings 8:28 Okay, good. I'm not like a-

Joe Rogan 8:29 No

Whitney Cummings 8:29 ... nut.

Joe Rogan 8:29 Like, legitimate psychologists, neuroscientists, the, the, the- it's what it is, is you can't concentrate on things you're not interested in, but you can concentrate on things you're interested in, like, heavily. Like-

Whitney Cummings 8:41 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 8:41 If people that are- that supposedly have ADHD, they can play video games for fucking 10 hours a day.

Whitney Cummings 8:47 That's right. That's exactly right.

Joe Rogan 8:48 Well, how come? Because it's exciting.

Whitney Cummings 8:50 Oh, they can't sit in a classroom and watch some pedophile lecture them-

Joe Rogan 8:53 [laughs]

Whitney Cummings 8:53 ... on fake history while they're getting haemorrhoids in some, like, chair-

Joe Rogan 8:56 Yeah

Whitney Cummings 8:56 ... with, like, fl- shitty lighting above them.

Joe Rogan 8:58 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 8:58 I mean, it's like, yeah, of course, kids are bored. Of course, they can't sit still.

Joe Rogan 9:01 Exactly.

Whitney Cummings 9:02 You know? Well, it was- I was reading about how Finland, they don't, um, uh, teach their kids to read until they're, like, seven because, uh, it's better to have them develop their ability to focus first on the things they wanna do, so by the time they do learn to read, they actually, you know, can focus.

Joe Rogan 9:16 That sounds like a terrible idea. You're gonna be so far behind my kids.

Whitney Cummings 9:20 Well, yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:20 [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 9:20 I mean, look, I-

Joe Rogan 9:21 Kids in America learn how to read when they're little babies.

Whitney Cummings 9:23 I- if at all, uh, if at all. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 9:28 If, if they do. [laughs]

Whitney Cummings 9:28 Like, I mean, yeah, that's the other thing, when it's like: Don't teach kids to read. It's like, by that time, is Nerling just gonna l- learn to read for them? Who knows. It's interesting, like, having a kid now, I'm like, what do I p- what world do I prepare them for?

Joe Rogan 9:37 [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 9:37 Do I even teach them Mandarin, or is that just gonna be like... Remember when U2 just put a song on our phone? [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 9:43 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 9:43 That was so weird.

Joe Rogan 9:44 Well, that was Apple's idea, and, you know, I talked to Bono about that. He was... You know, it, it was devastating for them-

Whitney Cummings 9:50 Mm

Joe Rogan 9:50 ... 'cause all of a sudden, everyone hated U2.

Whitney Cummings 9:52 Mm.

Joe Rogan 9:52 They used to love U2.

Whitney Cummings 9:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:54 They had so many hits. They're so good, and then all of a sudden, "Fuck you! Why are you on my phone?"

Whitney Cummings 9:57 Isn't that interesting, the human nature of I love something, unless you force it on me?

Joe Rogan 10:02 Yeah. Well, it's just people are always looking for a reason to complain.

Whitney Cummings 10:06 Mm.

Joe Rogan 10:06 And if, uh, you have this song on your phone-

Whitney Cummings 10:09 Mm

Joe Rogan 10:10 ... right away, like, "Hey, fuck these guys."

Whitney Cummings 10:12 But also, I wanna hunt. Let me find it. Let me feel like I discovered something.

Joe Rogan 10:15 Well, I think they just thought it would be a great way to promote this new album.

Whitney Cummings 10:20 Mm.

Joe Rogan 10:20 And they just really didn't understand human nature.

Whitney Cummings 10:24 It's also... Yeah, it used to be like, if you saw five billboards for something, you're like, "I gotta see that movie." Now, you see, like, five ads for it, and you're like, "Why are you trying so hard?"

Joe Rogan 10:31 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 10:31 Like, if it's good, I'll hear about it.

Joe Rogan 10:32 [lips smack] Yeah, I try to tell that to my friends, like, "Do not get overexposed."

Whitney Cummings 10:36 Mm.

Joe Rogan 10:36 Like, there's a re- uh, uh, I mean, I don't just say no to everything because I'm not interested in doing anything more.

Whitney Cummings 10:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:43 But it's also because I'm clearly overexposed, and you gotta know when you're overexposed. But I have friends that, like, they'll do every fucking interview that anybody asks.

Whitney Cummings 10:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:52 They'll do every project that comes up.

Whitney Cummings 10:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:54 They never have any time. Like, "I gotta slow down." Like, yeah, you gotta slow down.

Whitney Cummings 10:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:57 Like, why are you doing all this shit? You're already wealthy.

Whitney Cummings 11:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:00 Why are you doing this?

Whitney Cummings 11:01 Be a little mysterious.

Joe Rogan 11:02 [exhales] Live a fucking life.

Whitney Cummings 11:05 Mm-hmm. That's right.

Joe Rogan 11:06 Live a life-

Whitney Cummings 11:07 That's right

Joe Rogan 11:07 ... on top of what you're doing.

Whitney Cummings 11:08 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 11:09 Live an actual life. Don't wait until you're 60 and go, "What did I do?"

Whitney Cummings 11:13 Right. Even if it's for- if you need to justify it through workaholic purposes, like, it took me so long to get out of my workaholism. I- the first time I had to do it by justifying it, by going, "I'll be better at my work if I have a life." Like, for art to imitate life, you have to have a life. That's how I'm gonna go get stories. That's how I'm gonna go... You know-

Joe Rogan 11:30 Mm-hmm

Whitney Cummings 11:30 ... I think especially as a comic now, there's a lot of funny people out there. I think if we've learned anything from memes and stuff, you're like, I don't... This guy just works at Best Buy, and he-

Joe Rogan 11:38 Right

Whitney Cummings 11:38 ... who, who made this meme?

Joe Rogan 11:39 Right.

Whitney Cummings 11:39 This is hilarious, you know?

Joe Rogan 11:40 Right.

Whitney Cummings 11:40 I think in the beginning, a lot of it was, like, stolen from comics. Remember, like, that fat Jewish dude in-

Joe Rogan 11:45 Oh, yeah. Whatever happened to that guy?

Whitney Cummings 11:47 There was another one, too. I don't know.

Joe Rogan 11:49 But he was stealing memes, or he was stealing jokes-

Whitney Cummings 11:52 I think it was-

Joe Rogan 11:52 ... and turning them into memes?

Whitney Cummings 11:53 There was a couple where you would go, like, "That's a Mitch Hedberg joke."

Joe Rogan 11:56 Oh.

Whitney Cummings 11:56 Like, "That's definitely a Steven Wright joke or Dimitri or something," but like Zach Galifianakis, or it would be, um, lesser-known comics. You know, like, they'd go to a lesser-known comic feed, like people that wrote for-

Joe Rogan 12:08 Mm

Whitney Cummings 12:08 ... Fallon or Leno-

Joe Rogan 12:09 Right

Whitney Cummings 12:10 ... you know, and then-

Joe Rogan 12:10 Go to a showcase night at the store.

Whitney Cummings 12:12 Or, like, get their tweets. You can just pull their tweets and change them a little bit.

Joe Rogan 12:15 Yeah. Whatever happened to that guy? 'Cause he was hated. Boy, when he got- started getting exposed-

Whitney Cummings 12:21 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 12:21 ... he was hated, and then he just kind of vanished.

Whitney Cummings 12:22 There was another one.

Joe Rogan 12:23 He was huge for a while.

Whitney Cummings 12:24 There was a- there was another one, too, and I don't remember the name of it, um, that was doing the same exact thing.

Joe Rogan 12:30 But the fat Jewish guy almost seemed like he was, like, a corporate-created entity-

Whitney Cummings 12:34 He had, like, a-

Joe Rogan 12:35 'Cause the, like, the crazy hair, right? That weird fucking bun.

Whitney Cummings 12:38 Mm-hmm. That's right.

Joe Rogan 12:39 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 12:39 He was, like, a slob, like, uh, uh... But he had, like, a wine. Like, it-

Speaker 12:43 Yeah, he sold it to Anheuser-Busch for millions of dollars. I don't know how much, but yeah.

Whitney Cummings 12:46 Wow, so he's rich.

Joe Rogan 12:46 What did he sell?

Speaker 12:47 A rose, rosé-

Whitney Cummings 12:48 Right

Speaker 12:49 ... is what it's called.

Joe Rogan 12:49 ... What is rosé?

Whitney Cummings 12:50 It's a, a type of wine, but that's ac- [laughing] that's actually what the, that's what the brand was called, the-

Joe Rogan 12:55 Oh, no, no, no, I know what rosé is.

Whitney Cummings 12:56 Oh, I was like, "Please flip that."

12:57 That's what the brand was called, too. [laughing]

12:57 That is the, like-

Joe Rogan 12:58 [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 12:59 My heart cannot take rosé being like-

13:01 He made a rosé called rosé

13:01 ... What the fuck's rosé?

Joe Rogan 13:03 I know what rosé the wine is.

Whitney Cummings 13:04 It's called Babe. I see that now. Rosé company called Babe.

Joe Rogan 13:07 Oh, so he sold his wine, and then he just like, "I'm out"?

Whitney Cummings 13:10 For millions, and now, yeah, it says he's about to open a bank.

Joe Rogan 13:13 Oh-

Whitney Cummings 13:13 Yeah

13:13 ... That's what this article says.

Joe Rogan 13:14 God.

Whitney Cummings 13:14 Where do I sign up?

Joe Rogan 13:15 What a- it must be hilarious if he's opening up a bank.

Whitney Cummings 13:18 Mm.

Joe Rogan 13:18 Definitely didn't steal those jokes.

Whitney Cummings 13:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:20 Most, most really hilarious people wanna open a fucking bank.

Whitney Cummings 13:22 I love that he's just like: I'm Jewish. What am I good at?

Joe Rogan 13:25 [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 13:25 Just open a bank. Like, what?

Joe Rogan 13:27 [laughing] What if he turned out he's not even Jewish?

Whitney Cummings 13:29 [laughing] Exactly.

Joe Rogan 13:30 He's Baptist or something.

Whitney Cummings 13:32 [laughing] Yeah, Jews are like: We're not fat. What is it? Like, get your shit together. But also, yeah, that was so, uh... Like, for a second there, I was like: Joe, there's a chance he doesn't know what rosé is.

Joe Rogan 13:40 No, no, no, I know what that is.

Whitney Cummings 13:42 You know, like-

Joe Rogan 13:42 I just thought it was a company.

Whitney Cummings 13:43 It's what, like, the Rainey Street Killer gives his victims before pushing them off.

Joe Rogan 13:47 [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 13:48 Dude, your boy Brandon o- over here, I was like: What's up with the Rainey Street Killer? I always want, like, the updates on the Austin serial killer who's pushing gay dudes off bridges. And he said, uh, he's like: I think it's tech, tech guys. They come down from San Francisco during South by Southwest, and he strikes when it's, like, a tech conference.

Joe Rogan 14:04 Really?

Whitney Cummings 14:04 And he doesn't live here. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:05 They're trying to pretend that it's, it's not really a serial killer. The cops wanna say it's not really a serial killer, and like, that- how many guys have to drown before you start getting nervous?

Whitney Cummings 14:16 So they're only gay, that these guys?

Joe Rogan 14:19 Well, it's a gay neighborhood. That's the thing. Not all of Rainey Street, but there's a lot of, like, gay bars and gay spots on Rainey Street.

Whitney Cummings 14:26 How do the cops know the victims are gay? They just like-

Joe Rogan 14:31 They smell 'em.

Whitney Cummings 14:31 [laughing] They just, they just-

Joe Rogan 14:34 [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 14:34 ... check their assholes. They're like: "Hey, like, I fucked his- I fucked the corpse's asshole. He's gay." Uh-

Joe Rogan 14:39 They bring a dilator.

Whitney Cummings 14:40 [laughing] You know, I've seen that guy on Grindr. He is gay. Uh, that reminds me of, um, like, the Nazi- [sighs] it's been 10 minutes, and I've brought up Nazis twice. Um, the, that Nazis also killed gay people, and like, I'm obsessed with how there were Nazis that had to find out who was gay. [tsking]

Joe Rogan 14:59 So did Christians.

Whitney Cummings 15:00 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 15:01 Of course. It's in the Bible.

Whitney Cummings 15:02 To be like: I just fucked these guys. They are gay. Let's get 'em.

Joe Rogan 15:05 In the old days, in the Bible, if a man lieth with another man, you're supposed to be put to death.

Whitney Cummings 15:11 That means, like, someone signed up to be like: I'll do it. I'll, I'll investigate who's gay around here.

Joe Rogan 15:17 Well, the thing is, though, they were all gay.

Whitney Cummings 15:18 Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 15:19 That's the crazy thing. Like, if you go back in history, guys were fucking each other all the time.

Whitney Cummings 15:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:23 There was a... The Spartans did it. They had a philosophy that you would defend your lover more because, like, if you were fighting alongside a man that you loved, you would defend him more.

Whitney Cummings 15:36 Was it love?

Joe Rogan 15:38 I don't know.

Whitney Cummings 15:38 Is that what love is?

Joe Rogan 15:39 I don't know.

Whitney Cummings 15:39 I'm still trying to figure it out. [laughing]

Joe Rogan 15:40 Everybody's got their own definition for that. Like, what is it?

Whitney Cummings 15:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:43 Love is mysterious.

Whitney Cummings 15:44 Mm-hmm. That's a- that's wild. I always am like, what are the things we're doing now that we're gonna look back in 50 years and be like: Remember in 2006 when they were doing that?

Joe Rogan 15:53 Trans surgeries.

Whitney Cummings 15:53 Mm.

Joe Rogan 15:54 100%, especially on children.

Whitney Cummings 15:56 Also, having phones 24/7.

Joe Rogan 15:58 100%.

Whitney Cummings 15:58 Do you think phones will be like cigarettes, where we'll be like-

Joe Rogan 16:00 No, no, it'll be in your body by then.

Whitney Cummings 16:03 Oh, right.

Joe Rogan 16:04 It, uh, it'll be fun. They'll, they'll be laughing. Remember when you used to have to carry your phone around?

Whitney Cummings 16:09 Right.

Joe Rogan 16:09 Back in my day-

Whitney Cummings 16:10 Right, right, right, right

Joe Rogan 16:11 ... you could leave your phone at a restaurant.

Whitney Cummings 16:13 Right. Remember when you couldn't just print from your mouth?

Joe Rogan 16:15 Mm-hmm. Remember when you could find a phone and just make calls from it because there was no passwords? If you found someone's flip phone, you just open that bitch up and start calling people.

Whitney Cummings 16:25 Dude!

Joe Rogan 16:25 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 16:26 Remember-

Joe Rogan 16:26 You'd have to shut your phone off. You'd have to go to the Verizon store and go, "Hey, shut my fucking phone off."

Whitney Cummings 16:31 And by then it was just-

Joe Rogan 16:32 Yeah, the guy was in China

Whitney Cummings 16:33 ... it was over. Yeah, yeah. [laughing]

Joe Rogan 16:36 [laughing] That was the other thing, you would have roaming charges. Do you remember those?

Whitney Cummings 16:40 Yes. Also, remember when you lost your phone, and that was it?

Joe Rogan 16:43 Oh, yeah.

Whitney Cummings 16:43 Now I can find my phone within my own house, and it'll tell me what room it's in.

Joe Rogan 16:46 Well, not only that, if I don't find my phone, I could just go to the Apple store, and my phone is in the cloud, and then instantaneously-

Whitney Cummings 16:54 That's right

Joe Rogan 16:54 ... I get a new phone that's the same phone as my old phone-

Whitney Cummings 16:57 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 16:58 ... with all my messages, all my notes.

Whitney Cummings 17:00 Mm.

Joe Rogan 17:00 Which is even more- my notes are more important than my messages-

Whitney Cummings 17:03 Yeah

Joe Rogan 17:03 ... 'cause I keep so many material ideas in there.

Whitney Cummings 17:04 Oh, you back 'em up?

Joe Rogan 17:05 Oh, yeah.

Whitney Cummings 17:06 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:06 Always. This episode is brought to you by Visible. Have you heard of Visible? It's the one line wireless with unlimited data and hotspot for $25 a month, taxes and fees included, all on Verizon's 5G network. It's the ultimate wireless hack to save money and still get great coverage and a reliable connection. Got a resolution to save? Kick 2026 off right. Now, for a limited time, new members can get the Visible plan for just $19 a month for the first 26 months. Ring in the new year with code SWITCH26. Share the savings with a deal that's too good to keep quiet. Switch now at visible.com. Terms apply. Limited time offer, subject to change. See visible.com for plan features and network management details. Yeah, that, that is... I do- not only do I back 'em up, but I use other apps as well.

Whitney Cummings 18:02 Mm.

Joe Rogan 18:02 I use Evernote to back 'em up.

Whitney Cummings 18:04 Oh, yeah. I like Evernote, and Elephant was one I was using for a while. Uh, it- it's like same thing, like, organi-

Joe Rogan 18:10 Mm.

Whitney Cummings 18:10 helps, like, organize 'cause you can also search, like, by keyword.

Joe Rogan 18:13 Oh, okay.

Whitney Cummings 18:13 You know, 'cause sometimes-

Joe Rogan 18:14 Mm-hmm

Whitney Cummings 18:15 ... like, I've, I've, I've... Look, mom brain, you know, is real. Uh, but I think it's kinda good. I think it's like de- it's like a software update. It's like deleting shit I didn't need to be remembering anyway.

Joe Rogan 18:24 Mm.

Whitney Cummings 18:25 Like-

Joe Rogan 18:25 That's a nice way of coping.

Whitney Cummings 18:26 You know, like, my hippocampus was just full of some... I actually, in some ways, feel like you might be smarter if you forget half the shit you know, 'cause half the shit we learned has been debunked anyway. [laughing] Like, half of, like, science and history, like, is not even true. So me unknowing it might even make me smarter. Like-

Joe Rogan 18:42 Andrew Huberman was having a conversation with a, a professor at Stanford, and he said: What percentage of what's in medical journals and what's taught in school is no longer applicable? He said at least 50%.

Whitney Cummings 18:55 Unbelievable.

Joe Rogan 18:56 At least 50% of the stuff that they were telling people... Like, look, they just turned the food pyramid upside down yesterday.

Whitney Cummings 19:03 Crazy. Well, uh, the food pyramid, not only did it used to just be like-... like, brand muffins. M- it was just [laughing] -

Joe Rogan 19:10 [laughing] It was rice.

Whitney Cummings 19:10 Just like Bear Claw. Like, what the fuck? Like-

Joe Rogan 19:13 Yeah, you need spaghetti.

Whitney Cummings 19:14 [laughing]

Joe Rogan 19:14 That's number one. SpaghettiOs is at the base.

Whitney Cummings 19:16 [laughing] It was so crazy.

Joe Rogan 19:19 Ravioli's slightly above that.

Whitney Cummings 19:20 [laughing] And remember they had just had a fish with, like, eyeballs, like what?

Joe Rogan 19:23 Oh, yeah.

Whitney Cummings 19:23 That's actually probably a good one now, but, um-

Joe Rogan 19:25 But at the top, you know, now, like, the littlest amount of stuff you're supposed to get is grains-

Whitney Cummings 19:31 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 19:31 ... and you're supposed to get meat-

Whitney Cummings 19:32 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 19:32 ... and eggs at the bottom, which was always... I mean, look, there was a study that was l- like widely criticized fairly recently, that labeled Froot Loops as being healthier than ground beef. [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 19:45 But who sponsored that study?

Joe Rogan 19:46 That's the thing about all these things. It's like, who are these people, and can I see them naked?

Whitney Cummings 19:51 Yeah, i- that's it.

Joe Rogan 19:52 Take your fucking clothes off. Let me see what you look like.

Whitney Cummings 19:55 That's my sa- same thing about quotes. You know how, like, we're in this quote culture, where you'll just, like, and you probably don't have this in your algorithm, but it's like inspiring quotes, and I'm like: I need to know who said it.

Joe Rogan 20:05 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 20:05 I need to know who said it.

Joe Rogan 20:06 Well, a lot of times it's fake.

Whitney Cummings 20:08 Yep.

Joe Rogan 20:08 You'll, you'll see quotes-

Whitney Cummings 20:08 Of course

Joe Rogan 20:09 ... attributed to Einstein.

Whitney Cummings 20:10 Sure.

Joe Rogan 20:10 And then I'll try to find out if it's real, and it's not.

Whitney Cummings 20:13 Right. Right, right, right.

Joe Rogan 20:13 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 20:13 But it's just sort of like... It's like-

Joe Rogan 20:15 Slightly anti-Semitic quotes.

Whitney Cummings 20:17 [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 20:17 You know, you're like: Hmm.

Whitney Cummings 20:18 Hmm. Oh, and those-

Joe Rogan 20:19 Did Aristotle really say this? [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 20:20 Right, right. The Stoics, yeah, like [laughing] I don't know, man. Um, but uh-

Joe Rogan 20:25 There weren't even Jews back then.

Whitney Cummings 20:27 There was-

Joe Rogan 20:27 What the fuck is this guy talking about? [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 20:29 [laughing] I'm gonna unfollow Ari Shaffir once and for all.

Joe Rogan 20:33 [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 20:33 Um, but the- it said General Mills on it.

Joe Rogan 20:37 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 20:37 It said GM on the side when we were all looking at this pyramid. We knew that General Mills put this pyramid out.

Joe Rogan 20:42 Right.

Whitney Cummings 20:42 And we didn't even think that there was a con- uh, conflict of interest there.

Joe Rogan 20:45 Well, do you know how the whole Kellogg's, like, cereal thing came about?

Whitney Cummings 20:50 The Jerry Seinfeld movie?

Joe Rogan 20:52 No, Kellogg's.

Whitney Cummings 20:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:53 Do you, do you know, like, why he decided to make sure, like, these bland cereals?

Whitney Cummings 21:00 Why?

Joe Rogan 21:01 To keep people from masturbating.

Whitney Cummings 21:03 Sick!

Joe Rogan 21:04 That was the whole idea behind it, to give people bland food so that they wouldn't get aroused.

Whitney Cummings 21:11 Is that what causes erections? Asking for a friend.

Joe Rogan 21:13 Yes.

Whitney Cummings 21:14 Is that how I can- [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 21:15 That's the only way. The only way is spicy food.

Whitney Cummings 21:15 Is that how to turn my guy on?

Joe Rogan 21:17 Yeah, spicy food. Put it on your pussy-

Whitney Cummings 21:19 Really?

Joe Rogan 21:19 ... he's in.

Whitney Cummings 21:20 'Cause I remember the p- the, the Seinfeld thing was the post. That was Pop-Tarts. So this is how actual cereal was invented?

Joe Rogan 21:26 Cereal. Breakfast cereal. Kellogg's breakfast cereal, specifically. He was, like, some sort of a weird Puritan. Hey, let's, let's look it up, because he had some really bizarre ideas. But the primary idea was that if you feed kids bland food-

Whitney Cummings 21:43 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 21:43 ... it would stop them from being horny.

Whitney Cummings 21:46 Kids?

Joe Rogan 21:46 Kids.

Whitney Cummings 21:47 Do, do kids get horny? I'm sorry.

Joe Rogan 21:48 Oh, hell yeah.

Whitney Cummings 21:49 Like-

Joe Rogan 21:49 Like 13, 14-

Whitney Cummings 21:50 Okay, okay

Joe Rogan 21:51 ... 15.

Whitney Cummings 21:51 Sure, okay, got it. I got it. Teeny boys.

Joe Rogan 21:53 As soon as the... Well, as soon as the hormones start going-

Whitney Cummings 21:55 Sure, sure, sure, sure

Joe Rogan 21:56 ... I remember being like: Where is all this coming from? Like, you're all of a sudden horny, like, where you were never horny, and then all of a sudden you're 12-

Whitney Cummings 22:03 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 22:04 ... and it starts coming on like a storm.

Whitney Cummings 22:06 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:06 And then you're 13, you're like: What the fuck is happening?

Whitney Cummings 22:08 And all your female teachers wanna fuck you. [laughing]

Joe Rogan 22:10 [chuckles] Ah, depends if you live in Florida.

Whitney Cummings 22:13 [laughing] They're all just letting you motorboat them between periods.

Joe Rogan 22:16 I think you made that wrong, Bobby.

Whitney Cummings 22:18 [laughing] Yeah, it is... Once you have a ki- like, it really is I feel so cliche, say, like, about the ways you change once you have a kid.

Joe Rogan 22:26 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 22:26 Everyone warns you, and you're like, "Yeah, okay. Okay." I mean, you really look at every authority figure around kids differently.

Joe Rogan 22:32 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 22:32 Every teacher, every coach, you're just like: What are you, what are you in this for? Like-

Joe Rogan 22:36 Right

Whitney Cummings 22:36 ... you're not in it for the money.

Joe Rogan 22:38 Right.

Whitney Cummings 22:38 You're getting paid nothing. You don't have kids to go to that school. Like, what are you up to, dude? [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 22:42 Indoctrinating kids. Here it is, Bran Flakes. [clears throat] "No, Kellogg's Bran Flakes were not created to stop kids from getting horny, but the broader Kellogg's cereal story is tied to some very weird anti-sex ideas from the 19th and 20th century. Kellogg's Bran Flakes were introduced in 1915 as a high-fiber breakfast cereal marketed as a health food to aid digestion and promote better for you breakfasts."

Whitney Cummings 23:03 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 23:03 [clears throat] "Where the sex myth comes from: John Harvey Kellogg, a physician and Seventh-day Adventist," there it is, "did believe that bland, plain diets, especially cereal and nuts, could help reduce sexual desire and masturbation, and he pushed those ideas at his sanitarium." So what the fuck is the, "No, it's a myth"? It's not a myth. This was his idea.

Whitney Cummings 23:24 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 23:24 He believed it, and he sold that stuff. How can they say that's a myth?

Whitney Cummings 23:28 Uh, can you imagine how hard the publicists at Kellogg's are working-

Joe Rogan 23:33 Yeah, because the-

Whitney Cummings 23:33 ... to make sure that's not on the internet? [laughing]

Joe Rogan 23:35 That's why it's listed, saying that it's a myth. That's the only reason why Perplexity is getting confused, 'cause there's a bunch of propaganda saying it's not. All you have to do is look at the first thing. John Harvey Kellogg believed-

Whitney Cummings 23:46 Yeah

Joe Rogan 23:46 ... that plain, bland diets could help reduce sexual desire and masturbation.

Whitney Cummings 23:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:51 And he sold plain, bland food.

Whitney Cummings 23:55 And back then, cereal was pretty much just for kids.

Joe Rogan 23:56 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 23:56 You can already assume that it's gonna be targeted at kids.

Joe Rogan 23:59 "These beliefs are most closely associated with early flake cereals like Corn Flakes, and his general biological living health philosophy, not with Bran Flakes specif-" Whatever.

Whitney Cummings 24:08 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 24:08 Uh, "So how true is the rumor? It is fair to say that some of Kellogg's early cereal experiments were influenced by his belief that plain foods could encourage sexual restraint." So it is a good rumor. So why are they saying that it's not, that it's a myth?

Speaker 24:22 They probably typed in bran instead of cornflakes, and it's just-

Joe Rogan 24:25 Oh, bran.

Whitney Cummings 24:26 There's four-

Joe Rogan 24:26 Yeah, it was, it was the blandst- bland, not... Did you think I said bran?

Speaker 24:30 I mean, I typed in bran, 'cause I, I remember Bran Flakes too.

Joe Rogan 24:32 I meant bland.

Speaker 24:33 But yeah, I know.

Joe Rogan 24:34 But bran is a little-

Whitney Cummings 24:35 Right, the same image

Joe Rogan 24:35 ... like, a little bit more flavorful. I used to really like bran cereal.

Whitney Cummings 24:39 I love Raisin Bran.

Joe Rogan 24:40 Yeah, oh!

Whitney Cummings 24:41 It's delicious. [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 24:42 Raisin Bran is the bomb diggity.

Whitney Cummings 24:43 It's so filling, and so good.

Joe Rogan 24:45 Especially Frosted Raisin Bran-

Whitney Cummings 24:47 Oh, my God!

Joe Rogan 24:47 ... with the sugar. I would, I would- and we would pour sugar on it, too, 'cause-

Whitney Cummings 24:50 Always

Joe Rogan 24:50 ... we always thought sugar just gave you cavities. Nobody thought it was killing you.

Whitney Cummings 24:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:54 So we'd take scoops of sugar and just throw it on those fucking Raisin Bran bowls.

Whitney Cummings 24:58 Dude, Frosted Flakes-

Joe Rogan 24:59 Whoo!

Whitney Cummings 24:59 ... was my shit.

Joe Rogan 25:00 Oh, yeah. I was a big Captain Crunch man myself.

Whitney Cummings 25:03 Peanut butter?

Joe Rogan 25:04 Oh, yeah.

Whitney Cummings 25:04 Ooh, Captain, Captain.

Joe Rogan 25:06 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 25:06 Captain Crunch.

Joe Rogan 25:07 Captain Crunch.

Whitney Cummings 25:07 We used to mix, white trash till I die, Apple Jacks with Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Joe Rogan 25:13 Ooh, those are good ones.

Whitney Cummings 25:14 Now what, RFK?

Joe Rogan 25:16 ... yeah.

Whitney Cummings 25:16 Now what?

Joe Rogan 25:17 Yeah, you better let me keep having those. You know, I don't think you should ban those, man.

Whitney Cummings 25:21 I think, like, it's important to have restraint and to have the option to do something, and then-

Joe Rogan 25:26 How about have a little fucking discipline?

Whitney Cummings 25:28 Every-

Joe Rogan 25:28 You know?

Whitney Cummings 25:28 That's it. That's it.

Joe Rogan 25:29 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 25:29 That's it.

Joe Rogan 25:30 How about give me the Froot Loops with the dye? I wanna look at pretty colors.

Whitney Cummings 25:33 Mm-hmm. Yeah, [laughing]

Joe Rogan 25:35 [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 25:36 I want my shit to be neon!

Joe Rogan 25:37 I'm not gonna get cancer if I eat one bowl.

Whitney Cummings 25:39 Well, 'cause then-

Joe Rogan 25:39 Okay? Shut up.

Whitney Cummings 25:40 That's the other thing, it's like the stress is the worst for us, so the stress about sugar-

Joe Rogan 25:43 Sure

Whitney Cummings 25:43 ... eating sugar is worse than just-

Joe Rogan 25:45 Yes

Whitney Cummings 25:46 ... eating it.

Joe Rogan 25:46 I was just talking to a friend who has suffered multiple heart attacks from stress. His doctor says there's nothing wrong with his arteries-

Whitney Cummings 25:54 Right

Joe Rogan 25:54 ... and he's gotten these heart attacks because literally his, his body constricts. He's in, like, a very serious situation, and his body constricts so heavily that his arteries fucking close up, and he has heart attacks.

Whitney Cummings 26:09 So what is the difference be- like, between-- 'cause I'm all about, like, good stress on your body-

Joe Rogan 26:14 Mm-hmm

Whitney Cummings 26:14 ... like exposing yourself to good stress and then bad stress. Your body knows the difference, right? Bad stress is gonna be, like-

Joe Rogan 26:21 Mm

Whitney Cummings 26:21 ... the cortisol, and then good stress, that's like adrenaline, right?

Joe Rogan 26:25 Well, not hmm-

Whitney Cummings 26:26 I'm hoping you're gonna cut me off-

Joe Rogan 26:27 Adrenaline can be fucked up, too

Whitney Cummings 26:27 ... please cut me off.

Joe Rogan 26:28 Hormetic effect, or-

Whitney Cummings 26:29 Right

Joe Rogan 26:29 ... so the hormetic effect is like, there's a, an argument with certain foods, right? There's an argument against certain foods, like that they have, uh, phytochemicals in them.

Whitney Cummings 26:38 Mm.

Joe Rogan 26:38 So what they have is, like, an actual toxin that discourages predation.

Whitney Cummings 26:42 Mm.

Joe Rogan 26:42 Right? But some of that is actually has a, a hormetic effect-

Whitney Cummings 26:46 Mm

Joe Rogan 26:46 ... and it's actually good for you. Like, uh, what's a good one? Uh, broccoli sprouts. You know, what does that have? Pho- phosphorifa- what is it?

Whitney Cummings 26:55 Mm.

Joe Rogan 26:56 What is the word? [clears throat] I can't remember the, the be-

Whitney Cummings 27:00 Photosynthesis-

Joe Rogan 27:01 ... beneficial

Whitney Cummings 27:02 ... something.

Joe Rogan 27:02 No, photosynthesis is how they convert sunlight into food.

Whitney Cummings 27:07 Sun- but like when you're doing good stress-

Joe Rogan 27:09 What's the word?

Whitney Cummings 27:09 ... like exercise, and-

Joe Rogan 27:11 Sulforaphane? Is that what it is.

Speaker 27:13 Sulforaphane. Yeah, I think you just said it as I was... I think that's the word.

Joe Rogan 27:16 I think it's sulforaphane.

Speaker 27:17 Is that it right there on the screen? [clears throat]

Whitney Cummings 27:19 Sulforaphane.

Joe Rogan 27:20 Yeah, yeah, sulforaphane, "A plant compound formed when you chew or chop broccoli sprouts, which activates an enzyme that converts-

Whitney Cummings 27:27 Oh, wow

Joe Rogan 27:27 ... a precursor called, uh, glucoraphanin into sulforaphane. Broccoli sprouts have far higher levels of gluco... glu- glucoraphanin, glucoraphanin, in mature, than mature broccoli, which is why they are such a concentrated source of sulforaphane."

Whitney Cummings 27:47 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 27:47 [clears throat]

Whitney Cummings 27:47 So you're eating the plant's stress?

Joe Rogan 27:49 Mm.

Whitney Cummings 27:49 That's-

Joe Rogan 27:50 Well, s- plants do release chemicals. You wanna hear a crazy one? This is really nuts. Plants are intelligent-

Whitney Cummings 27:57 Yep

Joe Rogan 27:57 ... in some sort of a weird way, and one of the things they found is that if, like, say, if a giraffe-

Whitney Cummings 28:02 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 28:02 ... is eating certain bushes-

Whitney Cummings 28:04 Yep

Joe Rogan 28:05 ... um, and they're, they're eating them upwind, and so the wind comes down, and the other plants recognize that they're being consumed.

Whitney Cummings 28:13 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 28:13 And so they change their chemical profile to make them disgusting.

Whitney Cummings 28:16 Starts tasting bad.

Joe Rogan 28:17 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 28:17 Horses, same thing. Horses will all be grazing in one place, and then they'll just pivot out of nowhere, and you're like, "What's going on?" And they'll move to different grass.

Joe Rogan 28:24 Yeah, it's like the grass realizes that it's happening. "Oh, my God, it's a grass apocalypse!"

Whitney Cummings 28:28 And like, lets off some kind of-

Joe Rogan 28:30 Yeah

Whitney Cummings 28:30 ... you know, acid or something.

Joe Rogan 28:31 Isn't that nuts?

Whitney Cummings 28:32 Wild.

Joe Rogan 28:32 So this, so this is the argument against consuming plants that all the carnivore people use, is that there's these chemicals. Like, find out what the chemicals they talk about. What are the chemicals that, uh, carnivore diet people think are dangerous from plants?

Whitney Cummings 28:48 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 28:48 And the idea is that plants can't defend themselves, they're stationary, and so what they do is they release things that make them disgusting.

Whitney Cummings 28:55 Got, got it.

Joe Rogan 28:56 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 28:56 Makes sense. It is like, [sighs] uh, you know-

Joe Rogan 29:00 [coughs]

Whitney Cummings 29:01 ... after having, being pregnant, I kind of just surrendered to being like, "What if I just ate what I craved? Like, let me just let my body wisdom or whatever, like, kind of go," you know? And it was sourdough bread, not regular bread, just sourdough, which I wonder if that's allowed on the pyramid.

Joe Rogan 29:16 It's a lot better for you.

Whitney Cummings 29:17 Right?

Joe Rogan 29:17 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 29:18 Sourdough bread, eggs, and meat. No salad. Like, it made me, like, nauseous-

Joe Rogan 29:23 Hmm

Whitney Cummings 29:23 ... to, like, even think about salad. But maybe that was just my blood type or whatever it was.

Joe Rogan 29:28 My wife was really into frozen pizza rolls, those little disgusting things.

Whitney Cummings 29:32 [sighs]

Joe Rogan 29:32 And I would buy them for her. I'm like: Are you sure?

Whitney Cummings 29:34 That is a Texas bitch-

Joe Rogan 29:36 [clears throat]

Whitney Cummings 29:36 ... like, through and through. [laughing]

Joe Rogan 29:37 [laughing] "Carnivore diet advocates, advocates often argue that many common plant compounds are toxic or anti-nutrients that harm digestion, hormones, and/or nutrient absorption. Uh, carnivore influencers usually group these under umbrella, anti-nutrients or plant defense chemicals." Oxalates is one for sure.

Whitney Cummings 29:56 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 29:56 Oxalates is terrible for you, um, but the way to get around that is cooking them.

Whitney Cummings 30:01 Mm.

Joe Rogan 30:02 So, like, this is like... I used to eat-- I used to always drink, uh, kale smoothies.

Whitney Cummings 30:06 Mm.

Joe Rogan 30:07 I used to take kale and throw it in there with garlic and ginger and drink a smoothie every day.

Whitney Cummings 30:11 And then you left LA. [laughing]

Joe Rogan 30:13 [laughing] No, I, I mean, I felt fine doing it. I never got kidney stones or anything like that, but then I, I started reading about oxalates, and then I had a bunch of people on that told me that you can get ki- kidney stones, and I did actually get my blood work done, and it was high in oxalates.

Whitney Cummings 30:26 Mm.

Joe Rogan 30:26 But also that's from almonds. I eat a lot of... I used to eat-

Whitney Cummings 30:29 Mm

Joe Rogan 30:29 ... a lot of almonds.

Whitney Cummings 30:30 Mm.

Joe Rogan 30:31 "Lectins, grains, beans, nuts," there it is, "promote leaky gut, autoimmunity, and general gut irritation. Uh, phytates," what is that? Uh, "Phytic acid, grains, legumes, and nuts, criticized for binding materials that, that, uh, and reducing their absorption. Tannins or other polyphenols described by some meat advocates as additional plant defenses that can inhibit nutrient absorption or act as pro-oxidants." But one of the things that I've heard from people that are pretty knowledgeable is that the issue might not be the actual plants itself, it might be pesticides.

Whitney Cummings 31:09 That's the other thing. That's the- they say the worst thing you can eat at a restaurant anywhere is salads because it's just covered in pesticides. Like, I am washing my fruit and vegetables more than I wash my own body.

Joe Rogan 31:20 See if this is true, because I read this: that 100% of all California wines tested possi- tested positive for glyphosate.

Whitney Cummings 31:28 And in, out in Malibu, Raytheon, because there was a Raytheon plant.

Joe Rogan 31:32 Oh, yeah.

Whitney Cummings 31:33 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 31:33 Oh, yeah!... Yeah, r- yeah, there's-

Whitney Cummings 31:35 And cum, actually.

Joe Rogan 31:37 Rocket Dime-

Whitney Cummings 31:37 Yeah, yeah, get r-

Joe Rogan 31:38 Used to be in my neighborhood.

Whitney Cummings 31:39 Wild!

Joe Rogan 31:40 Yeah, I wonder if I got juiced up. [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 31:42 Remember when I went out and- before I had a kid, and I was just j- fighting people over rescuing giraffes, I had an instinct to mother, and I was just mothering everything except an actual baby, uh, including giraffes. And the wine that was made up there at that place, Malibu Safari, tested positive for Raytheon, and people were getting sick.

Joe Rogan 31:58 For Raytheon?

Whitney Cummings 31:59 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 31:59 Well, how do you test positive for Raytheon?

Whitney Cummings 32:00 Like, the Ray-

Speaker 32:01 They tested 10, but yes.

Joe Rogan 32:02 [clears throat] Okay, they tested 10, and a 2016 investigation by ABC 7 News, Beyond Pesticides, reported that 10 out of 10 California wines tested positive for glyphosate. Whoa! That's nuts.

Whitney Cummings 32:17 I'm, I'm obsessed with these sort of health, uh, and wellness sort of myths, and where do they... Like, wine's good, red wine's good for you.

Joe Rogan 32:25 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 32:25 Like, what alcoholic, like, made that popular?

Joe Rogan 32:28 [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 32:28 Remember? It's like it's got resveratrol, it's this.

Joe Rogan 32:30 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 32:30 It's like the amount you would need to get the amount of resveratrol that would make a difference is... It would kill your liver anyway. But, like, dark chocolate's good for you. Like, these things we just like latch on-

Joe Rogan 32:39 I think dark chocolate is good for you, though.

Whitney Cummings 32:41 Is it?

Joe Rogan 32:42 Yeah, I think that's legit.

Whitney Cummings 32:43 I think-

Joe Rogan 32:43 I don't think wine is necessarily bad for you. I think alcohol is bad for you.

Whitney Cummings 32:47 Mm.

Joe Rogan 32:47 But I think it also loosens you up-

Whitney Cummings 32:49 That's it

Joe Rogan 32:49 ... and makes you happy-

Whitney Cummings 32:50 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 32:50 ... which is better for you than being sad, depending on where you are, right?

Whitney Cummings 32:54 Mm.

Joe Rogan 32:54 So if you were with a group of people, like you and I and a bunch of friends went out to dinner, we all had wine, and we're laughing our asses off-

Whitney Cummings 32:59 Yeah

Joe Rogan 32:59 ... that would probably be really good for you.

Whitney Cummings 33:01 And it removes a little bit of the ability to... And that was always my thing, like I don't... I have three, three and a half years off pretty much anything. I mean, I was pregnant. I have a kid. Like, I, you know, I gotta be focused, like a toddler is just, like, suicidal. Like, I'm-

Joe Rogan 33:12 Mm-hmm

Whitney Cummings 33:12 ... you know. Um, but, uh, you know, I think with m- at least I'll just speak for myself, my brain, a glass of wine, I'm just able to be present without going, "Is this a good joke? Which I write about..." I, it just takes off-

Joe Rogan 33:23 Mm

Whitney Cummings 33:23 ... that like, sort of like, interior anthropologist narrative that is like, I always have to be categorizing things and filing things as jokes or cross-referencing things and, you know, filing things away for future stand-up. And I just-

Joe Rogan 33:36 That's the thing, right? It's 'cause you always need new jokes.

Whitney Cummings 33:39 And just-

Joe Rogan 33:39 It's like you're always farming.

Whitney Cummings 33:41 And when you hear something that's like, "Oh, that'd be such a good premise," it's like, ah. You know, sometimes I'll just, like, do what you do. I'll put it in notes to just file it away just so that I'm not thinking about it so much, but-

Joe Rogan 33:50 That's the only thing that keeps me sane. 'Cause if I don't do that, if, if I don't, uh-

Whitney Cummings 33:54 Same

Joe Rogan 33:55 ... it's gonna get away from me.

Whitney Cummings 33:56 Same.

Joe Rogan 33:56 I have like-

Whitney Cummings 33:57 Same.

Joe Rogan 33:57 My- at least my family knows, like, sometimes I'll jump up from the dinner table, and I have to run away because I know it's slippery.

Whitney Cummings 34:02 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 34:03 I'm like, "This idea is slippery. I'll be right back. I got an idea."

Whitney Cummings 34:05 "Let me just write it down. Let me just write it down."

Joe Rogan 34:06 I have to write it down, and I come back, and I don't tell them the idea because it's usually they're like, "What?"

Whitney Cummings 34:10 Yeah, yeah, yeah, trust me-

Joe Rogan 34:11 "That idea sucks." [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 34:11 ... it's gonna sound bad. No! Okay, Jews, Jews do run the me-

Joe Rogan 34:16 [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 34:16 Just let me, let me flesh it out-

Joe Rogan 34:18 [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 34:18 ... this idea about Jews and Blacks. Um, but yeah, as long as I'm able to write it down, then I can be-

Joe Rogan 34:24 Yeah

Whitney Cummings 34:24 ... present.

Joe Rogan 34:24 Then you know you saved it. And N- Neil, uh, Brennan used to say that his book, joke book was basically like a net for catching ideas.

Whitney Cummings 34:32 Mm-hmm. Love it. I have one-

Joe Rogan 34:33 Great idea- great premise

Whitney Cummings 34:35 ... I promise I have a joke-

Joe Rogan 34:36 Great analogy

Whitney Cummings 34:36 ... like, I'll write it down in my, uh, like a notebook, but I'll, of course, leave it somewhere, and it just looks like my suicide note. It's just, like, words. That's just like kegels, you know-

Joe Rogan 34:44 Right

Whitney Cummings 34:44 ... episiotomy. Like, it's just crazy words.

Joe Rogan 34:47 Uh-huh.

Whitney Cummings 34:47 Um, but and that's the other thing that I think having a kid gave me that I didn't even know was possible, which is what I thought, like, weed or, you know, a glass of wine or whatever before was, I've always just been trying to figure out how to get present, like, be in the present moment, you know?

Joe Rogan 35:02 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 35:02 Um, which, by the way, is there a biological basis for being in the present moment? Probably, it's probably, uh, you know, was, uh, you know, a detriment back in the day. You wanted to be, like, two steps ahead, or this is what just happened, and like-

Joe Rogan 35:12 Of course

Whitney Cummings 35:13 ... eating that berry was bad. Like, being in the present moment probably got you killed back then, but- [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 35:16 That's what they think ADHD is about. It's about being a persistent hun- We have a, a problem with the software we're, that we're running, and perhaps maybe the computer, so the last few episodes-

Whitney Cummings 35:27 Jamie, please cut my audio.

Joe Rogan 35:28 [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 35:28 Reddit will love this episode. [laughing]

Speaker 35:31 [chuckles] They don't love anything.

Whitney Cummings 35:32 Just cut me out of it. [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 35:34 [clears throat] There's a bunch of people I'd like to see naked. [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 35:39 [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 35:39 All of the negative Reddit commenters, like, you guys need to go outside. [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 35:43 [chuckles] Touch grass, babes.

Joe Rogan 35:45 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 35:45 I, I look at those guys, and I'm always just, guys, girls, whoever, like, I mean, I go on Reddit, but, like-

Joe Rogan 35:49 They're non-binary, all of them.

Whitney Cummings 35:51 I, [exhales] I always think, like, if we didn't get to do what we do, would we be doing that?

Joe Rogan 35:55 100%.

Whitney Cummings 35:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:55 I would. I would say that, like, when people are, like, really mean to celebrities online in comments, I'm like: I would do that.

Whitney Cummings 36:01 [laughing] Yeah, totally.

Joe Rogan 36:02 1,000, 1,000,000%. If I was 16 years old, and I had-

Whitney Cummings 36:06 Yeah

Joe Rogan 36:06 ... a fucking Twitter account-

Whitney Cummings 36:07 And they have a plane

Joe Rogan 36:08 ... I'd be trolling everybody.

Whitney Cummings 36:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:09 Yeah, fuck you, fatty.

Whitney Cummings 36:09 You're just like: "Hey, asshole." Like, yeah. [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 36:10 Oh, yeah, I'd be [chuckles] probably going after everybody. I would 100%, that was all... Especially if I get them to respond-

Whitney Cummings 36:17 Right

Joe Rogan 36:17 ... I'd be like: "Woo-wee!"

Whitney Cummings 36:19 [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 36:19 "I got him on the hook."

Whitney Cummings 36:20 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 36:21 "Look at this."

Whitney Cummings 36:21 And then, like, Kimmel would, like, read negative comments on his show. Like, you can get on a show.

Joe Rogan 36:26 Oh.

Whitney Cummings 36:26 Is- which is, by the way, what's happening with, like, crowd work. People come to shows now trying to get in a crowd work video, just heckling and yelling.

Joe Rogan 36:32 Yeah. Yeah, especially if the someone is known for-

Whitney Cummings 36:36 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 36:36 ... responding to hecklers.

Whitney Cummings 36:37 Oh, no, the first four rows are people that are, like, in hair and makeup. They have, like, hats on-

Joe Rogan 36:41 [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 36:41 ... like, their tits are out. Like, they're ready with... They're like: "Hey, bitch!" And I'm like:

Joe Rogan 36:45 Right.

Whitney Cummings 36:45 "I'm not filming this show, guys."

Joe Rogan 36:47 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 36:47 "Sorry."

Joe Rogan 36:48 People just wanna be a part of something.

Whitney Cummings 36:50 "Do you wanna know where I'm from?" It's like: I don't-

Joe Rogan 36:52 [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 36:52 ... I don't care. I'm in Austin. I know you live- I don't give a shit, like-

Joe Rogan 36:55 Well, that's the weird thing about social media and the internet in general, is that everyone has a voice now.

Whitney Cummings 37:00 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 37:00 Which is great.

Whitney Cummings 37:00 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 37:01 And it's also terrible.

Whitney Cummings 37:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:02 It's both things. It's great because some people emerge from that voice. Just like we were talking about memes, I- some of the f- hardest laughs that I get during the day are these memes that-

Whitney Cummings 37:14 [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 37:14 ... anonymous people have created-

Whitney Cummings 37:15 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 37:15 ... and someone sends me.

Whitney Cummings 37:16 Same.

Joe Rogan 37:17 And I'm like, "Ah!"

Whitney Cummings 37:17 Same. Same.

Joe Rogan 37:18 And then I send them to people. I don't know who the fuck made it.

Speaker 37:21 Can we pause one second again? I, it's now not recording the audio, even though we can hear everything.... it just stopped all of a sudden.

Joe Rogan 37:27 Did it record any of what we just said?

Speaker 37:28 Well, uh-

Joe Rogan 37:28 'Cause that was fucking gold.

Speaker 37:30 Hold on. It is still going, it is still going. It's just not-

Joe Rogan 37:31 That was gold!

Whitney Cummings 37:32 God.

Speaker 37:33 I'm gonna trust that it's just not visually showing up. We'll trust it.

Joe Rogan 37:35 Oh, boy.

Speaker 37:36 Sorry.

Whitney Cummings 37:36 Having a conversation about being in the present moment-

Speaker 37:38 Sorry

Whitney Cummings 37:38 ... and you're like, "Wait, you didn't record that?"

Joe Rogan 37:40 Yeah. Ga, ga, ga, ga, ga [laughing] .

Whitney Cummings 37:42 I was being so present. Damn it! Now I have to [laughs]

Joe Rogan 37:46 It's, I, I think, you know, we're in this weird transitionary period where we have a new technology-

Whitney Cummings 37:51 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 37:51 ... and that allows everyone to have a voice, and I think overall, it's very good.

Whitney Cummings 37:55 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 37:55 Because you have more voices, and it's just people have to discern what's a valuable voice and what's not.

Whitney Cummings 38:01 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 38:01 And y- you know, that's where I tell people, "Don't read the fucking comments. It's not good for you," because you're getting too many non-valuable voices.

Whitney Cummings 38:09 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 38:09 And if you've done a good job of curating your environment and curating your friend group-

Whitney Cummings 38:13 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 38:13 ... you've eliminated all these people that are really shitty, and bitter-

Whitney Cummings 38:17 Mm

Joe Rogan 38:17 ... and jealous, and nasty-

Whitney Cummings 38:19 Yeah

Joe Rogan 38:19 ... and, and, and a- also, like, have no ability to look at themselves.

Whitney Cummings 38:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:26 Like-

Whitney Cummings 38:26 But also, like, to all my... Like, I was just on, did Norman's podcast with Sam Morill, and they were talking about the comments, and I was like, "Guys, like, I've said worse things to you than any of these comments." [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 38:36 Right.

Whitney Cummings 38:36 Like, we're comics. We all sit around and are-

Joe Rogan 38:38 Of course

Whitney Cummings 38:38 ... so much meaner to each other. [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 38:40 Of course.

Whitney Cummings 38:41 Than any-

Joe Rogan 38:41 Meaner, meaner about other comics that aren't there?

Whitney Cummings 38:43 [laughing]

Joe Rogan 38:43 Oh, God, we're the worst shit ever.

Whitney Cummings 38:45 [chuckles] Totally. It's just sort of like nothing in this comment section is worse than what Tony Hinchcliffe just said to me on the phone. [laughing]

Joe Rogan 38:50 [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 38:51 Turned into an, in a conversation-

Joe Rogan 38:52 And you laughed. [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 38:53 That's what I... I just talked to Tim Dillon for an hour. [chuckles] Like, I have no self-esteem left. Like, this is like a warm hug.

Joe Rogan 38:59 Oh.

Whitney Cummings 38:59 Like, my comment section is where I go for compliments at this point.

Joe Rogan 39:02 Sometimes I forget that, and when I'm hanging out with normies, you know-

Whitney Cummings 39:07 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 39:07 ... and I'll just drop a bomb.

Whitney Cummings 39:08 Yeah. [laughing]

Joe Rogan 39:09 [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 39:09 Same, same.

Joe Rogan 39:10 They just look at their face, like-

Whitney Cummings 39:11 You can't do that

Joe Rogan 39:11 ... "What the fuck did you just say?" I'm like: "I thought we were talking shit."

Whitney Cummings 39:15 [laughing] No, I-

Joe Rogan 39:16 [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 39:16 No, I did that yesterday. I was checking into the hotel-

Joe Rogan 39:20 [exhales]

Whitney Cummings 39:21 ... and we're in Texas. My mom's from Texas, whatever, and this, uh, this dude that works there was wearing, like, like, cowboy boots-

Joe Rogan 39:27 Right

Whitney Cummings 39:27 ... like solid cowboy boots, and I was like: "Oh, sick cowboy boots. I mean, like, they're just high heels for men, but, like, cool that you guys call them, like, cowboy boots."

Joe Rogan 39:34 Right, right.

Whitney Cummings 39:34 And he was just like... And I was like: "Oh, you- you're gonna fight me."

Joe Rogan 39:38 [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 39:38 Like, this is not... I can say that to, like, Tony Hinchcliffe 'cause I'm always like, "Yeah, you moved to Texas so that you could wear heels."

Joe Rogan 39:43 Ah. [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 39:44 Like, so you basically wear cowboy boots all the time. [chuckles] Like, he-

Joe Rogan 39:47 He went- he was going through a period of time where he was wearing nothing but cowboy hats and cowboy boots on stage.

Whitney Cummings 39:53 Dude, and then, like, a Gucci, like, like, tracksuit.

Joe Rogan 39:57 [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 39:59 Like, name a person that, that knew less about what to do with their money-

Joe Rogan 40:03 Yeah, here's-

Whitney Cummings 40:03 ... than Tony Hinchcliffe.

Joe Rogan 40:04 He's doing now, he's wearing vests. He wears vests all the time. It's a thousand degrees outside.

Whitney Cummings 40:09 Bulletproof vest after the-

Joe Rogan 40:11 [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 40:11 ... uh, he was at the Trump rally. Smart. [chuckles] So the Puerto Ricans-

Joe Rogan 40:14 Listen-

Whitney Cummings 40:14 ... have guns, homie.

Joe Rogan 40:15 The Puerto Ricans love him.

Whitney Cummings 40:16 [chuckles] Yeah, they do. They really do.

Joe Rogan 40:16 If there's any group of people that are great at talking shit, it's Puerto Ricans.

Whitney Cummings 40:20 It's like Jennifer Lopez, cut to her, like, crying 'cause she's like, "What are jokes?"

Joe Rogan 40:24 Ah.

Whitney Cummings 40:24 Um, but yeah, I, I love-

Joe Rogan 40:25 She doesn't count.

Whitney Cummings 40:26 So I... Have you made your will?

Joe Rogan 40:29 Oh, yeah.

Whitney Cummings 40:30 Okay. So I'm making my will s- which we- as soon as you have a kid, they're like: "Make a will, or else your craziest family member is gonna-

Joe Rogan 40:36 Uh-huh

Whitney Cummings 40:36 ... like, get your son," you know?

Joe Rogan 40:38 Oh, yeah.

Whitney Cummings 40:38 Which... And I have them.

Joe Rogan 40:39 Whee.

Whitney Cummings 40:39 And, um, and I... Am I allowed to make a fun... Like, I wanna make, like, a funny will. Like, I wanna give Brian Holzman, like, a million dollars [chuckles] just to see what he'll do with it, just to look down from heaven and just see him with, like, calf-

Joe Rogan 40:52 He'd probably buy suspenders or something.

Whitney Cummings 40:54 Just calf implants. Like, just like- [laughing]

Joe Rogan 40:55 [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 40:56 Like, seeing what Tony did with his money, like, watching all these comics. Like, Bobby Lee, he just, like, shows up in, like, women's shoes. Like, he'll just be in, like, you know, those, like, Golden Goose sneakers? They're, like, $700. They're bedazzled.

Joe Rogan 41:09 He wears bedazzled sneakers?

Whitney Cummings 41:10 Well, they're like Golden Goose. Do you know these shoes?

Joe Rogan 41:12 Yeah, I kn- I have a pair of Golden Goose.

Whitney Cummings 41:13 Yeah, but they're, like, shimmery with, like, leopard.

Joe Rogan 41:16 Oh, I like... It's weird because Golden Goose, they come out worn out.

Whitney Cummings 41:20 Yes.

Joe Rogan 41:20 Like, you buy... I bought them in Aspen.

Whitney Cummings 41:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:22 You buy them worn out, and everybody was really into it. I'm like, "They're already pre-worn. Like, this is weird."

Whitney Cummings 41:27 It's like when you did, like, bought jeans with holes in them-

Joe Rogan 41:30 Right

Whitney Cummings 41:30 ... like, ahead of time, like pre-

Joe Rogan 41:31 I never did that, by the way.

Whitney Cummings 41:32 Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 41:33 No, that's not, that's a lie. I did it for a while, and then I was like, "What is wrong with me?"

Whitney Cummings 41:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:37 And I stopped.

Whitney Cummings 41:37 It's like... But I, I like holes in the, uh, uh, knees 'cause you can move around more. Like, that's actually useful. I'll always cut holes in them.

Joe Rogan 41:43 Oh, you need to buy, like, stretchy jeans.

Whitney Cummings 41:46 You know what? I did start buying stretchy jeans, and this is actually the worst thing I've done since becoming a mom. You just become such a dork. Except your wife, your wife is just, like, uh, she's, like, my hero. I'm like: How do you stay... Why are you so hot? Like, you're a mom, you're, like, allowed to just look like Rachel Maddow, but you do this. Like, I need to get back on the horse, 'cause I started buying sweatpants that look like jeans.

Joe Rogan 42:05 Mm.

Whitney Cummings 42:06 And I'm just like: What am I doing? Like, it's just-

Joe Rogan 42:08 Well, there's a bunch of jeans like that, that you can get now.

Whitney Cummings 42:11 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 42:11 What are those? Oh, they're called Perfect Jeans.

Whitney Cummings 42:13 Mm.

Joe Rogan 42:13 Those are really good. I got a, a few pairs of those. I think that's what they're called, right? Perfect Jeans?

Whitney Cummings 42:20 Like stretchy guys?

Speaker 42:21 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:22 Yeah, those are great.

Whitney Cummings 42:23 I need that.

Joe Rogan 42:23 Uh, Revtown, Revtown makes a great pair.

Whitney Cummings 42:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:25 They're great.

Whitney Cummings 42:26 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:26 Uh, Barbell-

Whitney Cummings 42:27 Mm

Joe Rogan 42:27 ... Barbell jeans.

Whitney Cummings 42:28 Oh, nice.

Joe Rogan 42:28 They're, they're nice. Yeah, they're made for people with big thighs.

Whitney Cummings 42:31 Yeah. I-

Joe Rogan 42:32 'Cause my jeans wear out in the middle, 'cause my thighs are always rubbing together.

Whitney Cummings 42:37 Right, right. Oh, like in the-

Joe Rogan 42:38 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 42:38 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:38 That's where they tear open-

Whitney Cummings 42:40 Yeah

Joe Rogan 42:40 ... and wear out.

Whitney Cummings 42:41 Yeah, I, uh-

Joe Rogan 42:41 So I need... And I need to be stre- I need to... I can't wear something that I can't kick somebody in.

Whitney Cummings 42:46 But also... Fuck, yes.

Joe Rogan 42:48 [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 42:48 Oh, fuck! Um, so good to be in Texas, where the real men are. That's how they think. Um, my fiancé's like-

Joe Rogan 42:55 I was thinking like that always.

Whitney Cummings 42:56 All your whole life.

Joe Rogan 42:57 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 42:57 It's so funny, my fiancé's of, like, he's just... I, he- you don't realize till you date a, like, very straight guy that you've only dated gay guys.

Joe Rogan 43:04 I'm dating straight guys. [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 43:05 Like, I, I always was like, "Oh, good, metrosexual." Like, my dude, my favorite thing to do is ask him what he's thinking about. Not like, "What are you thinking about?" Like, hoping it's me or, like, our wedding or something.

Joe Rogan 43:15 Uh-huh.

Whitney Cummings 43:15 I'm just, like, fascinated. I'm on the edge of my seat, and, uh, it's usually like, "If I could fight that guy." Like-

Joe Rogan 43:20 Or the Roman Empire. [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 43:21 Yeah, the Ro- [chuckles] My God, dude, I c- [chuckles] ... [chuckles] just like jerking off thinking about tigers tearing apart criminals.

Joe Rogan 43:30 Ugh!

Whitney Cummings 43:30 Like, what about the Roman Empire exactly? That's so crazy when you think about it. I mean, didn't, didn't species go extinct?

Joe Rogan 43:37 Because of the Roman Empire?

Whitney Cummings 43:38 Because of the, uh, Colosseum fights.

Joe Rogan 43:40 I don't believe that's true.

Whitney Cummings 43:41 Mm.

Joe Rogan 43:41 I, I've never heard that.

Whitney Cummings 43:42 When I did, like, a tour of it, they said that, but I'm sure they were just trying to-

Joe Rogan 43:45 Hmm. Yeah, they're trying to juice you up.

Whitney Cummings 43:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:47 Well, let's find out.

Whitney Cummings 43:48 Even if they did, how could they prove it? I guess it's-

Joe Rogan 43:50 Well, they don't really... There's a lot of, like, speculation that's probably erroneous about why certain animals went extinct-

Whitney Cummings 43:57 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 43:57 ... including wolly, woolly mammoths.

Whitney Cummings 43:59 Also, there's a lot of animals out there that maybe you guys can't find. [chuckles] We don't-

Joe Rogan 44:02 Oh, yeah.

Whitney Cummings 44:03 We don't know. Like, ugh, okay, not to bring up California, but have you seen this doomsday fish?

Joe Rogan 44:10 What's that?

Whitney Cummings 44:11 It's a fish that only appears when an earthquake's about to happen.

Joe Rogan 44:13 Oh, great!

Whitney Cummings 44:14 And they're [chuckles] and they're coming up around Monterey in California. It's like, it's like a syringe with fins.

Joe Rogan 44:20 Really?

Whitney Cummings 44:21 You know these, like, fish at the bottom, bottom of the ocean that we-

Joe Rogan 44:23 Oh, when they're getting away from the bottom 'cause they feel like-

Whitney Cummings 44:26 They're coming up

Joe Rogan 44:26 ... that it's coming? Oh, boy.

Whitney Cummings 44:28 They're, like, coming up to the surface or seen.

Joe Rogan 44:29 I've never heard of this before.

Whitney Cummings 44:31 But my brain also goes like, "Maybe they've been around, and you just haven't seen them," but-

Joe Rogan 44:34 That's true. It's not like we have cameras down there 24/7.

Whitney Cummings 44:37 At all times, yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:38 [clears throat] "Colosseum animal fights did not clearly drive any species to global extinction, but they did help wipe out or severely reduce some regional populations and subspecies." Like what?

Whitney Cummings 44:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:50 "Beast hunts killed animals on a huge scale. Ancient sources describe thousands of animals killed in single festivals and tens of thousand over imperial reigns. [clears throat] Modern historians argue that this sustained demand contributed to local or regional disappearances, especially when combined with hunting, habitat loss, and warfare." Well, that... Like, just what they did in America with market hunting-

Whitney Cummings 45:13 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 45:13 ... they almost wiped out everything-

Whitney Cummings 45:15 Yeah

Joe Rogan 45:16 ... in, uh, America because no one had ice, right?

Whitney Cummings 45:20 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 45:20 So you had to get meat every day. So they wiped out almost all deer.

Whitney Cummings 45:24 Mm.

Joe Rogan 45:24 They wiped out elk from... Elk used to be in all 50 states, and now-

Whitney Cummings 45:27 Wow

Joe Rogan 45:27 ... they're only in a few. They wiped out almost all of them.

Whitney Cummings 45:31 And this is fascinating to me, the- just the Roman Colosseum thing, because I think that my brain always goes, whenever it's like, "Can you believe people in the comments are trashing Sabrina Carpenter," or whatever, it's like, yeah, people used to go watch, you know, people have their limbs torn apart by-

Joe Rogan 45:47 Yeah

Whitney Cummings 45:47 ... lions and sit there and, like, cheer and suggest... They would yell out how to kill people, like, that, you know-

Joe Rogan 45:53 Oh, yeah.

Whitney Cummings 45:53 They would go watch at the town square people get hanged. Like, this is right on time.

Joe Rogan 45:58 They'd watch people have sword fights.

Whitney Cummings 45:59 This is the most humane version of publicly shaming people we've done thus far. [laughing] [chuckles] It's just like, "You suck!" Like, that's like the most-

Joe Rogan 46:06 Right, it just hurts your feelings.

Whitney Cummings 46:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:08 Right, and it only hurts your feelings if you read it.

Whitney Cummings 46:10 But I also don't think anyone has only made a comment on Joe Rogan's or only on mine. I don't think it's, like, just personal.

Joe Rogan 46:16 Well, there's probably one schizophrenic person that just concentrates on you.

Whitney Cummings 46:19 Yeah. Oh, no, I have many of those. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:21 But there, there's- most people are just-

Whitney Cummings 46:23 But I don't think they're normal-

Joe Rogan 46:24 They're doing what they're negative

Whitney Cummings 46:24 ... with everyone else-

Joe Rogan 46:26 Right

Whitney Cummings 46:26 ... and then, you know.

Joe Rogan 46:27 Well, that's the argument that some people have that I completely disagree with, that you should- it should be your name. Everyone should know who's posting that, and that you shouldn't be allowed to post ano- anonymously.

Whitney Cummings 46:39 Oh.

Joe Rogan 46:39 My problem with that is that eliminates all whistleblowing.

Whitney Cummings 46:42 Oh, good point.

Joe Rogan 46:42 You know, you're working at some defense contractor-

Whitney Cummings 46:44 Yeah

Joe Rogan 46:44 ... and you know they're, they're doing something horrible or whatever. You're working for some oil company, and you know they're doing something evil. No, you can't, you can't have, uh, completely anonymous... I mean, you can't have, uh, only, uh, like, recognized accounts, where the- you know the exact person who's posting things, because sometimes you need to have anonymous sources.

Whitney Cummings 47:06 But also, it's, you know, essentially, like, I'm always, uh, interested in, you know, finding the, um, like, a quantumous, uh, real-life version of something digital. So it's like negative things in the comment section, that's like being at a football game and someone being like, "Tom Brady, you suck!" Like-

Joe Rogan 47:22 Right

Whitney Cummings 47:22 ... he obviously doesn't suck.

Joe Rogan 47:24 Right.

Whitney Cummings 47:24 Y- y- you're wearing-

Joe Rogan 47:25 It's the same thing.

Whitney Cummings 47:25 You're wearing a Patriots jersey. Like, you obviously love him. You're just, like, being an idiot, you know? It's kinda like-

Joe Rogan 47:29 How about UFC fans?

Whitney Cummings 47:31 There you go.

Joe Rogan 47:31 Some of them are the worst. They're like, "He's a pussy."

Whitney Cummings 47:33 Is he? [laughing]

Joe Rogan 47:35 He fights for a living!

Whitney Cummings 47:36 Yes, yes, yes, yes. You don't even know what-

Joe Rogan 47:37 He fights in his underwear, barefoot, in a fucking cage for a living-

Whitney Cummings 47:41 That's right. That's right

Joe Rogan 47:41 ... and you're calling him a pussy.

Whitney Cummings 47:42 That's right. People- I mean, and also think about what it would take for you to stop and leave a shitty comment. You would have to be in such a dark, dark place to, like, need to just, like, throw a stray at someone. And, like, I like to think of it as, like, a weird service, and maybe this is just me trying to, like, sublimate it into something positive, 'cause, like, being a female comedian on the internet is, like, pretty wild. And, um, it's like I signed up to make people happy or make people laugh or give people some kind of escape from their life, and if you hating me or saying some mean shit gives you, like, a hit of d- like, great. I don't think I came into comedy being like, "Everyone has to love me." Like, that-

Joe Rogan 48:17 It's not possible.

Whitney Cummings 48:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:19 [clears throat] People hate Chappelle. It's literally not possible.

Whitney Cummings 48:22 The people I know that take the biggest risks and that, you know, are polarizing-

Joe Rogan 48:25 Yeah

Whitney Cummings 48:25 ... like, I think the most interesting comics are polarizing. So if everyone liked me, I'd probably be pretty boring and-

Joe Rogan 48:30 Well, there's a few people that don't take risks that are hilarious, that aren't polarizing at all-

Whitney Cummings 48:34 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 48:34 ... like Nate Bargatze-

Whitney Cummings 48:35 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah

Joe Rogan 48:36 ... or J- Gaffigan. But Gaffigan-

Whitney Cummings 48:38 Sebastian.

Joe Rogan 48:39 Sebastian. But Gaffigan got really polarizing when he went political. A lot of people-

Whitney Cummings 48:42 That's right

Joe Rogan 48:42 ... got mad at him for that.

Whitney Cummings 48:43 That's right.

Joe Rogan 48:44 But I think he was drunk.

Whitney Cummings 48:45 Oh, interesting. He did a, a... [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 48:47 [chuckles] I'm pretty sure he was drunk.

Whitney Cummings 48:49 [laughing]

Joe Rogan 48:50 [chuckles] He likes to throw them back, and then get real mad.

Whitney Cummings 48:53 Was he doing it online, though? Wasn't he, like, doing online, or was he doing it live?

Joe Rogan 48:57 Oh, he was on Twitter-

Whitney Cummings 48:58 Oh, he was on Twitter. Yeah, yeah

Joe Rogan 48:59 ... during the, the Trump-

Whitney Cummings 49:00 That's right

Joe Rogan 49:00 ... election.

Whitney Cummings 49:00 I remember. I remember.

Joe Rogan 49:01 He went crazy, and he lost, like, a giant chunk of fans. People turned on him. [blows lips] You know, he's the Hot Pockets guy, and all of a sudden-

Whitney Cummings 49:07 That's right

Joe Rogan 49:08 ... he's, like, involved in politics.

Whitney Cummings 49:10 Hot Pockets. It's interesting, when that, that kinda h- I think that as a comic, like, it's, you know... And you do something sort of different here, but I never, you know... [sighs] To take a side just feels so weird.

Joe Rogan 49:23 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 49:23 It just feels so bizarre, uh, because I think it's really our job to be able to defend the indefensible, just even as an exercise and to-... you know, to be able to deeply believe that two things can be true at once, you know?

Joe Rogan 49:33 I think it's the opposite of what wokies do with animals. [clears throat] So with wokies, with animals, they're like: "Adopt, don't shop."

Whitney Cummings 49:42 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 49:42 I think with your ideas, you should shop around, don't adopt. Don't adopt, like, all the ideas that the left has-

Whitney Cummings 49:51 Right

Joe Rogan 49:51 ... or all the ideas that the right has. Shop around, say-

Whitney Cummings 49:54 Also, breeders are bad, so rescue a dog from a breeder [chuckles] if you need to. [laughing]

Joe Rogan 49:58 Right. Well, some- look, breeders are bad, right?

Whitney Cummings 50:01 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 50:01 Okay. I have the best fucking dog in the world, and he came from a breeder.

Whitney Cummings 50:05 Some are good, some are bad, some rescues are good, some... Some of the worst people on Earth are animal rescue people. Some of the worst people on Earth work in charities, you know?

Joe Rogan 50:13 That's a fact.

Whitney Cummings 50:14 That's a fact.

Joe Rogan 50:15 That's a fact.

Whitney Cummings 50:15 And-

Joe Rogan 50:15 Did you see the data about the LA fire money and where it went? [sighs] Holy shit!

Whitney Cummings 50:22 Did you see the data of the whole- what was it? How many billion-

Joe Rogan 50:25 [clears throat]

Whitney Cummings 50:25 ... was supposed to be spent on homelessness removal?

Joe Rogan 50:27 Twenty-four.

Whitney Cummings 50:28 Where is it go-

Joe Rogan 50:28 Twenty-four billion-

Whitney Cummings 50:28 But, but just, I, I'm not even-

Joe Rogan 50:29 Unaccounted for

Whitney Cummings 50:30 ... I'm not even mad. Just tell me where it is. How do you even hide that much money?

Joe Rogan 50:33 They don't even know.

Whitney Cummings 50:33 How do you even hide it?

Joe Rogan 50:34 They literally don't know. But I w- I wanna show you this. Did I ever send it to you, Jamie?

Speaker 50:38 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 50:38 [clears throat] Uh, I know I saved it because it's so crazy.

Whitney Cummings 50:41 It was like there was a concert. It was like-

Joe Rogan 50:43 Yeah, it was $100 million, but where it went is, it literally absolutely nuts. I'm gonna find it.

Whitney Cummings 50:51 Oh, and Jamie, did you find that doomsday fish? I just wanna make sure. I don't- [clears throat]

Speaker 50:56 I found an article about it from 20, uh, a couple of years ago that said it shows up when an, around earthquakes.

Whitney Cummings 51:00 Doomsday fish? Yeah.

Speaker 51:02 Back to back-

Whitney Cummings 51:02 There was one up in Monterey, they said, that came-

Speaker 51:05 San... Um.

Whitney Cummings 51:06 I'm obsessed with the fish that we don't know about.

Joe Rogan 51:08 Okay, I just sent it to you, Jamie. So the House Judiciary Committee-

Whitney Cummings 51:12 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 51:12 ... released a report, um, on the LA Fire Aid concert. Among the findings, Fire Aid was used- I mean, this is gonna [coughs] I'm sorry.

Whitney Cummings 51:23 It's okay.

Joe Rogan 51:23 I don't know why I'm coughing. Fire Aid was used for activities such as voter participation initiatives, podcasts, they gave $100,000 to podcasters. Approximately $550,000 in donations went to organizations involved in political advocacy.

Whitney Cummings 51:37 Well, that's money laundering. That's just money laundering.

Joe Rogan 51:39 Five hundred and fifty thousand dollars out of 100 million. Um, $250,000 was directed towards-

Whitney Cummings 51:45 [laughing]

Joe Rogan 51:45 ... programs benefiting undocumented immigrants. Look at this, $100,000 to podcasters.

Whitney Cummings 51:53 Sure, sure.

Joe Rogan 51:53 I wanna know who the fuck the podcasters were that got 100 grand.

Whitney Cummings 51:56 Yeah, what are you talking about? Like-

Joe Rogan 51:57 Like, what does that mean? Like, what did- did they prevent fires with that money? Five hundred thousand dollars was used to cover salaries, bonuses. Imagine you got a bonus 'cause there was a fire. Consultant fees for nonprofit organizations.

Whitney Cummings 52:08 But if it's a nonprofit, why are you giving it money- [coughs]

Joe Rogan 52:11 ...

Whitney Cummings 52:11 -to profit?

Joe Rogan 52:11 And why are you giving them bonuses? Half a million dollars. Okay, uh, many worthy nonprofits did receive grants that were used to support victims. This p- report provides lessons t- for the distribution of, uh, or the disbursement, rather, of any remaining Fire Aid funds. Go down lower, 'cause it keeps going.

Whitney Cummings 52:27 It's a good racket. Everyone I know that works-

Joe Rogan 52:29 [clears throat]

Whitney Cummings 52:29 ... with a charity has, like, two houses. Like, good for them, 'cause they don't have to pay taxes either.

Joe Rogan 52:32 There, there's, m- sorry, there's more where they, they laid all this stuff out. So this is, uh, Kevin Kiley, who is... What is his, um... Congressman from California.

Whitney Cummings 52:43 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 52:44 So he's, he's outlining this, 'cause he tried to look it up. It's fucking crazy. [coughs] But, I mean, some of that is fucking criminal.

Whitney Cummings 52:52 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 52:52 The, the... This, this one drives me nuts: organizations involved in political advoc- advocacy, half a fucking million dollars.

Whitney Cummings 53:01 Why is anyone advocating for politics? Like, what does that even mean?

Joe Rogan 53:04 It's, it's just stealing money.

Whitney Cummings 53:05 That's right. That's just money laundering. That's all it is.

Joe Rogan 53:07 That's just stealing money.

Whitney Cummings 53:07 Wait, fungus-planting projects. What?

Joe Rogan 53:10 [coughs]

Whitney Cummings 53:11 To plant fungus.

Joe Rogan 53:13 Fungus-planting pr- pols, what? Mm.

Whitney Cummings 53:15 Fungus-planting projects. Just-

Joe Rogan 53:18 They're growing mushrooms.

Whitney Cummings 53:18 Growing weed. Yeah. [laughing]

Joe Rogan 53:19 They're growing mushrooms.

Whitney Cummings 53:20 That's right, they're growing mushrooms. [laughing]

Joe Rogan 53:21 The best way to keep people from doing this, man.

Whitney Cummings 53:24 This is what it is, dude. It's, like, literally like, uh, everyone that's pissed that their house caught on fire, take these mushrooms-

Joe Rogan 53:29 Yeah

Whitney Cummings 53:29 ... and you will realize materialism doesn't, it, it-

Joe Rogan 53:31 It's all bullshit, man.

Whitney Cummings 53:32 Yeah, it's just-

Joe Rogan 53:33 You're a part of the universe, man.

Whitney Cummings 53:34 [laughing] We're all connected.

Joe Rogan 53:35 It's time to move out of California.

Whitney Cummings 53:35 Like, if someone else has a house, you have a house, too. Like-

Joe Rogan 53:38 This is the universe telling you to get the fuck out of here.

Whitney Cummings 53:40 I mean, it is, like, [exhales] a lot to process. I mean, there's a point where you're kinda like... My brain goes, like, when there's nothing you can do about it, you're like-

Joe Rogan 53:50 [clears throat]

Whitney Cummings 53:50 ... What do I do? Like, do I just get mad? Do I just look away?

Joe Rogan 53:55 [clears throat]

Whitney Cummings 53:55 Do I become the person that's retweeting shit and just being that person? Like, you know, the things we have to kinda just decide with our economy of bandwidth, what to be outraged about, and maybe this is it. The idea is, like, we'll throw so much at you that you'll just get exhausted, and-

Joe Rogan 54:11 This episode is brought to you by Athletic Brewing Company. So here we are, it's the new year, which means it's about time to hit reset. Just because it's January, doesn't mean you need to disappear into a cold plunge and never drink again. Just rotate in some Athletic non-alcoholic beer. You get the taste, the perfect meal pairing, and the night out, but you wake up without the hangover. With over 185 taste awards, they brew all kinds of styles: IPAs, goldens, hazies, you name it. Athletic is proud-brewed in America and sold at over 75,000 grocery or liquor stores, bars, and restaurants across the country. You can also purchase a variety of limited styles exclusively on their website. Go to athleticbrewing.com/rogan to find stores near you, or get brews shipped right to your door. Use code ROGAN to get 15% off your first online order, near beer, terms and conditions, and certain limitations apply. Athletic Brewing Company, fit for all times. Uh, I don't think it's a plan.

Whitney Cummings 55:16 You know?

Joe Rogan 55:17 I think it's just a function of the, the, the whole social media-

Whitney Cummings 55:22 Yeah

Joe Rogan 55:22 ... ecosystem.

Whitney Cummings 55:23 But also, they're like, "We know we're gonna get away with this." Like, I just love-

Joe Rogan 55:26 But they're not, because this guy, the congressman is looking it up. It's gonna... Uh, uh, they're, they're definitely gonna talk about it.

Whitney Cummings 55:32 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 55:32 It's gonna be a problem for these people. It's gonna be a problem during re-election, and it's supposed to be.

Whitney Cummings 55:36 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 55:37 They, they're monsters. These people are evil. They're really evil.... like, what they're doing is stealing money from people that decided they were gonna donate money because they thought it was a worthy cause, and it wasn't a worthy cause.

Whitney Cummings 55:49 And also, the, when the, those fires happened, the idea that it was like, donate! It's like, well, you were just in a fire zone, too. We pay enough taxes in California to not have to have charities to donate to fire victims [chuckles] .

Joe Rogan 56:01 Right.

Whitney Cummings 56:01 Do you know what I mean? They're, they- charities are such a scam because it's like, well, no, this is where our taxes should be going to stuff. We shouldn't have to have these charities where people are donating money to help pe-... They don't have money either.

Joe Rogan 56:11 Well, it's a scam, and when you find out where the money actually goes-

Whitney Cummings 56:14 Right

Joe Rogan 56:14 ... that's when it becomes a scam, when you find out that the vast amount... Like, if you have $100 million that gets donated to legitimate charity-

Whitney Cummings 56:23 Right

Joe Rogan 56:23 ... it's very likely that only 30% or less is going to the actual cause.

Whitney Cummings 56:27 And that person doesn't pay taxes on top of that-

Joe Rogan 56:29 Right

Whitney Cummings 56:29 ... because the charity's a tax write-off. So my taxes aren't going to pay for that cause, and then you're not paying taxes anyway, and then I have to give you extra money. It's just like, it's just such a... Charity culture is just such a bizarre... Does every country have this charity culture?

Joe Rogan 56:43 I don't know. Well, well, our charity culture is really weird-

Whitney Cummings 56:46 Uh-huh

Joe Rogan 56:46 ... because of USAID. 'Cause USAID, everybody thought of as like, "Oh, it's aid. We're giving aid to all these other countries.

Whitney Cummings 56:54 Mm.

Joe Rogan 56:54 That's important. People are gonna starve."

Whitney Cummings 56:55 Right.

Joe Rogan 56:56 And then you realize like, oh, no, it's not USAID, it's US Agency for International Development. So a lot of it is about overthrowing foreign governments. A lot of it is about funding these NGOs that are supposedly nonprofit-

Whitney Cummings 57:12 Right

Joe Rogan 57:12 ... but people extract the money out of them.

Whitney Cummings 57:14 Like, what's your definition of aid?

Joe Rogan 57:15 It's a lot of money laundering.

Whitney Cummings 57:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:16 A lot of it is money laundering.

Whitney Cummings 57:18 Fascinating, dude.

Joe Rogan 57:18 It's so much... Mike Benz is the guy to follow on that.

Whitney Cummings 57:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:21 And Mike Benz is like s- he's gone deep, deep into all this shit and u- uncovered an insane way. He said that USAID is for things that are too dirty for the CIA.

Whitney Cummings 57:32 [gasps]

Joe Rogan 57:33 When it's too dirty for the CIA, they send it off to a non-government organization.

Whitney Cummings 57:37 Mm.

Joe Rogan 57:37 That's an NGO. So an NGO can do things that the government can't do legally, so they'll go and use this money in a way that the, our government can't do it.

Whitney Cummings 57:47 Mm.

Joe Rogan 57:47 But it's our government's money, so it's your tax dollars go to do things that the government's not allowed to do, and the government just does it that way through an NGO, and people profit massively.

Whitney Cummings 57:58 Mm. I-

Joe Rogan 57:59 And money is just flowing around, and no one knows where it goes. Like the $24 billion that went to the homeless problem in California, where it only got worse.

Whitney Cummings 58:07 I don't even get how you hide that much money. I don't even get how you launder it and hide it. I mean, that's like-

Joe Rogan 58:10 It just shows you how crazy scams are in this country.

Whitney Cummings 58:13 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 58:13 We were learning that out about the Somali daycare thing.

Whitney Cummings 58:15 Oh, yeah, the Minnesota thing. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:17 But that's just one part of it. The Somali daycares in Minnesota is the tip of the iceberg.

Whitney Cummings 58:22 Mm.

Joe Rogan 58:22 California is way bigger. So people are digging into the problems in California now-

Whitney Cummings 58:26 Mm

Joe Rogan 58:26 ... and they're saying, "No, no, no. Whatever you thought the fraud was..." There was a guy that was running a daycare, a bunch of daycares. He had no one-

Whitney Cummings 58:33 Already a red flag [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 58:34 ... in California. No one at his organization, no kids, pulled up in a fucking Rolls-Royce when they were investigating him.

Whitney Cummings 58:41 Of course.

Joe Rogan 58:41 A Rolls-Royce.

Whitney Cummings 58:42 Of course, of course. Couldn't even just get a Lexus.

Joe Rogan 58:44 No!

Whitney Cummings 58:44 They, they, they can't, they can't just be cool. It's like Dane Cook's brother or whatever, who stole from him, like, pulled up in, like, a Bugatti. It's like you couldn't have just-

Joe Rogan 58:50 Did he really?

Whitney Cummings 58:51 It was, like, something cra- I think something crazy. Like, you couldn't have just got an Acura?

Joe Rogan 58:53 That's when he found out that his brother was stealing from him?

Whitney Cummings 58:55 I think it was, like, a car that pulled up. [laughing] It's like, I know what I... I-

Joe Rogan 59:01 [chuckles] I know what, what car-

Whitney Cummings 59:02 Like-

Joe Rogan 59:03 ... that sunk Dane Cook's brother.

Whitney Cummings 59:04 [chuckles] Like-

Joe Rogan 59:04 By the way, he got out of jail, and the money's still missing.

Whitney Cummings 59:07 Stop.

Joe Rogan 59:07 Yeah, they... He- there was a, a ton of money that they never recovered. He might have hid it in a coffee can-

Whitney Cummings 59:12 There's some real rich-

Joe Rogan 59:13 ... in the grass somewhere

Whitney Cummings 59:14 ... hookers in Pensacola, I'll tell you what. [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 59:16 He might have blown through all of it, but I'm pretty sure... I mean, you'd have to ask Dane.

Whitney Cummings 59:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:20 But I'm pretty sure that a, a lot of the money was unrecovered.

Whitney Cummings 59:23 He donated it to the [chuckles] LA fire victims. Uh, yeah, it's like people that steal like that, like, it's like, um, from what I understand, it's like kind of a gambling addiction, too. It's like, "I got away with this." Like, you get this invincibility complex of like, "And now I can get away with this," and then you just get in over your head, and you show up one day in a fucking, you know, Ferrari, and everyone's like, "Huh?"

Joe Rogan 59:40 Did you ever see that, um, documentary, The Seven Five?

Whitney Cummings 59:43 No.

Joe Rogan 59:44 The Seven Five is all about the 75th precinct in New York and how corrupt it was. It's a really good documentary. I had the guy who was the main guy, M- uh, Michael Dowd, who was a, he was a corrupt cop.

Whitney Cummings 59:55 Love it.

Joe Rogan 59:55 I had him on the podcast-

Whitney Cummings 59:56 Love it

Joe Rogan 59:57 ... and, and he explained it. He said the first day o- of... I mean, if you watch the documentary, first day working, they threw a guy out a building and killed him, and he was like, "Shut the fuck up." Like, "You know, you know what you saw. Now, you didn't see shit, right?"

Whitney Cummings 1:00:11 Mm.

Joe Rogan 1:00:11 And you're like, "Yeah, I didn't see shit." Like, they killed a guy on his first day on the job, and he's like, "Okay, this is, this is, I guess, what we do."

Whitney Cummings 1:00:19 Yep.

Joe Rogan 1:00:19 And so he was selling drugs, robbing drug dealers, and showed up at work with a Corvette, and a [laughing] brand-new badass Corvette.

Whitney Cummings 1:00:31 Keep the Corvette-

Joe Rogan 1:00:32 [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 1:00:32 ... under a blanket and just drive a Honda to work. Like, how- [chuckles] like you could've gotten away with this forever.

Joe Rogan 1:00:37 Get an old pickup truck, stupid.

Whitney Cummings 1:00:39 Yeah, like [laughing] I love that shit, dude.

Joe Rogan 1:00:43 Dude-

Whitney Cummings 1:00:43 I fucking love it so much

Joe Rogan 1:00:44 ... this guy shows up at his fucking daycare in a Rolls-Royce. [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 1:00:49 It was like the Wild Wild Country guy. He could've got away with that forever, but it was like the '56, like, bedazzled Rolls-Royce. Everyone was like-

Joe Rogan 1:00:55 Oh, he had a ton of them

Whitney Cummings 1:00:55 ... "I don't know, man." Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:57 Yeah, he had a bunch of Rolls-Royces. [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 1:00:58 "But God told me I should have these." Like, huh? I, I don't know.

Joe Rogan 1:01:02 But the people-

Whitney Cummings 1:01:02 Yeah. [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 1:01:03 ... are retarded.

Whitney Cummings 1:01:04 [laughing]

Joe Rogan 1:01:05 That is one of the greatest things ever: "By the people, for the people," and the pause.

Whitney Cummings 1:01:11 Dude.

Joe Rogan 1:01:12 "But the people are retarded."

Whitney Cummings 1:01:15 Tough titties.

Joe Rogan 1:01:16 [chuckles] So, so it's for the retarded, but... So look at this, 42.1 million. This is the guy.

Whitney Cummings 1:01:25 He's trying to cover the car with his body?

Joe Rogan 1:01:26 Well, let's s- pu- pull back, and let's, let's hear what he says in the beginning of this, 'cause-

Whitney Cummings 1:01:31 I mean, with all that money, maybe buy some Ozempic too, homie.

Joe Rogan 1:01:34 Ah.

Whitney Cummings 1:01:35 Like-

Joe Rogan 1:01:35 He's eating good.

Whitney Cummings 1:01:36 Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:01:36 Let me hear what he says.

Host 1:01:39 ... Ever since Nick Shirley has done his reporting in Minnesota, we have Iranian daycare centers in California. Over here we have 1412 South Crescent Heights, Creative Children Academy. Nobody has come in or out of this facility in nine months. Every window is just boarded up.

Whitney Cummings 1:01:53 Yeah, 'cause no one in LA has kids. [laughing]

Joe Rogan 1:01:55 Look at this Rolls-Royce!

Host 1:01:57 The owner of this property. Jamshid-

Joe Rogan 1:01:59 Where's the money, Jamshid?

Whitney Cummings 1:02:00 The way the door opens is so funny. [chuckles]

Host 1:02:01 $14 million for just one facility.

Joe Rogan 1:02:02 Where'd you get this car from?

Host 1:02:03 I just don't understand. How did you get-

Joe Rogan 1:02:04 Where'd you buy the property?

Host 1:02:05 Yeah, did you win the lottery?

Joe Rogan 1:02:06 That's, that's assault. Don't touch me. This looks fake.

Host 1:02:09 Don't touch me.

Whitney Cummings 1:02:09 It really does.

Speaker 1:02:10 Honestly, it looks fake as shit.

Joe Rogan 1:02:11 It looks fake as shit. This looks, like, completely staged. The, just the way he walks up and grabs the car. What... When you saw people with cameras-

Whitney Cummings 1:02:18 Mm

Joe Rogan 1:02:18 ... and you've, you've got a convertible Rolls-Royce car-

Whitney Cummings 1:02:20 You would turn around, I think. You would just turn around and leave.

Joe Rogan 1:02:22 Well, it's just too convenient. There's no one there. Why is he there with the car?

Whitney Cummings 1:02:25 He parks right out front.

Joe Rogan 1:02:26 That looks fake.

Speaker 1:02:27 Yeah, I think it's fake.

Whitney Cummings 1:02:28 He's not wearing any brands, that's usually a thing, too.

Joe Rogan 1:02:29 It's also... There's something in my mind registered his face when he started talking. Wait a minute, is that the guy?

Whitney Cummings 1:02:36 Wait, this is the guy?

Speaker 1:02:37 Yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%.

Joe Rogan 1:02:38 So it's fake.

Speaker 1:02:39 Yeah, yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:02:40 I was so-

Joe Rogan 1:02:41 So I just spread-

Whitney Cummings 1:02:41 So that was like, that was like a staged reenactment or something?

Joe Rogan 1:02:44 Yeah. He... It's, it's horseshit.

Speaker 1:02:47 It's like, yeah, he's just trying to get-

Joe Rogan 1:02:48 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:02:48 This is like when I repost videos where people have, like, seven fingers, and I'm like, "Oh."

Joe Rogan 1:02:51 It's just bad acting.

Speaker 1:02:52 Yeah, he's taking advantage.

Joe Rogan 1:02:53 I saw his face.

Whitney Cummings 1:02:53 Yeah. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:02:54 I saw his face, I'm like, "This guy's a bad actor."

Whitney Cummings 1:02:56 [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 1:02:56 This is like a, a Hallmark special.

Whitney Cummings 1:02:58 Well, when he took off the golf hat, like, douchebagger Vance, like, before to start his thing-

Joe Rogan 1:03:03 Yeah

Whitney Cummings 1:03:03 ... that little-

Joe Rogan 1:03:03 That's just engagement fodder.

Whitney Cummings 1:03:04 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:05 That's all it is.

Whitney Cummings 1:03:05 Why are you wearing a suit? Why are you wearing a suit to your-

Joe Rogan 1:03:07 Meanwhile, people are sending that to me like it's real. There it is.

Whitney Cummings 1:03:09 That thing?

Joe Rogan 1:03:10 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:03:11 But it's bas-

Joe Rogan 1:03:11 But people, they want it to be real.

Whitney Cummings 1:03:12 Yeah. And by the way, you get to a point with real and fake where you're just like, "It might as well be," you know?

Joe Rogan 1:03:18 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 1:03:18 It might as well be.

Joe Rogan 1:03:19 But that guy, you could tell his face was fake. He's like, "What?"

Whitney Cummings 1:03:22 Yeah, it was.

Joe Rogan 1:03:23 "How'd you get me?"

Whitney Cummings 1:03:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:24 "Good on... This is-

Whitney Cummings 1:03:25 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:03:25 ... private property."

Whitney Cummings 1:03:26 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:03:26 Like, this guy's a-

Whitney Cummings 1:03:26 The push was a little bitch for someone who was-

Joe Rogan 1:03:28 Yeah

Whitney Cummings 1:03:28 ... about to lose everything. Like-

Joe Rogan 1:03:30 Yeah

Whitney Cummings 1:03:30 ... the camera work was pretty good, too.

Joe Rogan 1:03:31 It's just... He's just being silly.

Whitney Cummings 1:03:33 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:33 But there's always... There's a lot of that, too. That's a problem. It's just like we live in a, a strange world-

Whitney Cummings 1:03:39 Mm

Joe Rogan 1:03:40 ... and no one investigated where all this money was going in the past.

Whitney Cummings 1:03:44 Mm-mm.

Joe Rogan 1:03:44 No one investigated-

Whitney Cummings 1:03:45 You couldn't. How could you?

Joe Rogan 1:03:46 One of the things that me- Elon said to me, he said, "Medicaid fraud is the-

Whitney Cummings 1:03:50 Wild

Joe Rogan 1:03:50 ... biggest amount of money that's fraudulent in this country."

Whitney Cummings 1:03:53 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:03:53 And he didn't wanna even talk about it, 'cause he was worried that people would kill him. That's what he said on the podcast. He goes, "I could go into this, but, uh, they'll kill me."

Whitney Cummings 1:04:02 That's like someone saying they have something they didn't have to get the catastrophe insurance thing. 'Cause, like, I had a, my-

Joe Rogan 1:04:08 There's a lot of that.

Whitney Cummings 1:04:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:09 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:04:09 Like, my dad had a stroke, and then you get like... It was stolen by a family member.

Joe Rogan 1:04:13 [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 1:04:13 The fraud is within my family, but, um-

Joe Rogan 1:04:15 Really?

Whitney Cummings 1:04:16 That... Yeah, that you get, like, 20 grand... It's Medicaid Part B, I wanna say. If you have, like, a stroke, it's called a catastrophic event. They'll just, like, give you, like, 20 grand or something.

Joe Rogan 1:04:24 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 1:04:24 Is it like that you, like, fake that or something and then get that money type of thing?

Joe Rogan 1:04:28 Oi.

Whitney Cummings 1:04:29 Is that, like, what Medic-

Joe Rogan 1:04:30 So you have to fake a stroke? No, what it is, is... Well, here's the, the daycare thing.

Whitney Cummings 1:04:34 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:04:34 Like, that's part of it, you know? And then there's a, a bunch of people that don't exist that are getting Medicaid money.

Whitney Cummings 1:04:40 Right. Right.

Joe Rogan 1:04:42 Yeah, and then there's, uh, autism diagnosises, right?

Whitney Cummings 1:04:45 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:04:45 So they self-diagnosis autism.

Whitney Cummings 1:04:47 Sure.

Joe Rogan 1:04:47 They open up an autism center. They have a bunch of kids in the autism center. They get money for those kids.

Whitney Cummings 1:04:52 Sure.

Joe Rogan 1:04:52 There's no autism. There's no kids. It's all fake.

Whitney Cummings 1:04:55 Right, right, right, right, right, right.

Joe Rogan 1:04:56 There's also, like, there's, there's these fake scams where there... There was one that they uncovered in Minnesota, where they were supposedly feeding an exorbitant amount of children, and there was no kids.

Whitney Cummings 1:05:07 Sure.

Joe Rogan 1:05:07 No one was going there, but they were saying they were feeding, like, 5,000 people a day.

Whitney Cummings 1:05:10 Sure.

Joe Rogan 1:05:10 They didn't even have the capacity to feed 5,000 people a day.

Whitney Cummings 1:05:13 Sure.

Joe Rogan 1:05:13 There was no food coming in there. But, you know, the thing is-

Whitney Cummings 1:05:16 The American dream, dude

Joe Rogan 1:05:17 ... the politicians, the politicians were getting so much money from these people.

Whitney Cummings 1:05:20 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:05:20 Just from the Somali community that owned daycare centers, the s- the Minnesota politicians were getting $35 million last year.

Whitney Cummings 1:05:28 Is that... Is Tim Walz to blame for that? I c- I don't, I don't know.

Joe Rogan 1:05:31 Well, he just stepped down from his-

Whitney Cummings 1:05:33 Right

Joe Rogan 1:05:34 ... re-election. That's not good. That's not good.

Whitney Cummings 1:05:37 Do you know how many-

Joe Rogan 1:05:37 When you were almost the Vice President of the United States?

Whitney Cummings 1:05:40 You know how many people came at me, people that I'm, like, thought I was friends with, like acquaintances more maybe, but, um, I now realize they were acquaintances, when I made fun of Tim Walz for going to China so many times? Like, which... Let me not get this wrong. It- it's definitely more than 10, more than 10 or something-

Joe Rogan 1:05:55 Mm-hmm

Whitney Cummings 1:05:55 ... that Tim Walz just, like, went to China to go... Like, which is, you know, if you're gonna have gone to China that many times and then run to be the vice president, why wouldn't you- why would you hide it, number one? Why wouldn't you lead with it as, like, a, "This is one of our enemies. I've been. I know the language." Like, why wouldn't you either lean into it, make it p- "I'm an expert on it, and this is one of our big issues"? Like, the fact that we all pretended that he wasn't going to China... First of all, on what salary are you going to China every year? What, what's your-

Joe Rogan 1:06:23 Was he a politician when he was doing this?

Whitney Cummings 1:06:24 What's your miles program? No-

Joe Rogan 1:06:26 Well, I could see if you were a businessman.

Whitney Cummings 1:06:27 He was a teacher.

Joe Rogan 1:06:29 He was a teacher?

Whitney Cummings 1:06:29 He was going with kids. He was taking kids-

Joe Rogan 1:06:31 Okay

Whitney Cummings 1:06:31 ... to China. Uh-

Joe Rogan 1:06:33 But, I mean, doesn't that make sense, though, that you're taking kids on a, an international trip so they can learn about the world?

Whitney Cummings 1:06:39 Only China.

Joe Rogan 1:06:41 Maybe that's his area of expertise.

Whitney Cummings 1:06:42 Which is-

Joe Rogan 1:06:42 I'm trying to, like-

Whitney Cummings 1:06:43 But why not lead with it? I've been to Ch-

Joe Rogan 1:06:45 I'm trying to steel man it.

Whitney Cummings 1:06:46 I, I know, me too. I do the same thing, where I'm like, "Why doesn't he go up with, 'I've been to China 35 times. I took kids there so they could learn Mandarin, because they're gonna have to interface with China later during business?'" Like, it was just, like, this thing where it's when someone else tries to hide something, something that I wouldn't have thought was untoward, I'm like, "Well, well, hold on. Now it's weird."

Joe Rogan 1:07:02 Right.

Whitney Cummings 1:07:02 "And why can't I ask a question about it?" Whenever I would say, "How many times did you go to China?" Everyone's like, "What? What?" And I'm like...

Joe Rogan 1:07:07 Well, here's the crazy one. When the, all the Somali daycare center came out, he started blaming white men for all the crime.

Whitney Cummings 1:07:14 Sure.

Joe Rogan 1:07:14 What about white men? Well, these white men with all the crime. He's trying this, that playbook-

Whitney Cummings 1:07:17 He's like: "What about me?"

Joe Rogan 1:07:18 ... the woke playbook. [laughing] Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:07:19 What about me? I'm the criminal. I'm a white guy."

Joe Rogan 1:07:22 That's really what he's saying.

Whitney Cummings 1:07:22 He's telling on himself right then and there.

Joe Rogan 1:07:24 But, I mean, he was basically trying to say that it's racist, but it's not. Facts aren't racist.

Whitney Cummings 1:07:30 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:07:31 Like, just, it's just clever. Just if the... What- if they did it themselves-

Whitney Cummings 1:07:35 Mm

Joe Rogan 1:07:36 ... you know, if they did it themselves-

Whitney Cummings 1:07:37 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:07:37 ... if they were the ones that were pr- perpetrating the fraud.

Whitney Cummings 1:07:39 Sure.

Joe Rogan 1:07:40 ... the real problem is, if they didn't do it themselves, who helped them fill out all those forms? Who helped them organize this?

Whitney Cummings 1:07:47 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:07:48 And is this-

Whitney Cummings 1:07:48 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:07:48 ... a money laung- laundering thing?

Whitney Cummings 1:07:50 Sure.

Joe Rogan 1:07:50 And are they filtering this money into other people's accounts?

Whitney Cummings 1:07:53 Mm.

Joe Rogan 1:07:53 Are they filtering it into offshore accounts? 'Cause supposedly, here's another one: supposedly, they were sending money, like, on a regular basis back to Somalia, and they were catching them at TSA-

Whitney Cummings 1:08:05 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 1:08:05 ... in Minnesota.

Whitney Cummings 1:08:06 Sure.

Joe Rogan 1:08:07 See if that's true, Jamie.

Whitney Cummings 1:08:09 [exhales] It's a lot.

Joe Rogan 1:08:10 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:08:10 It's a lot, you guys. I mean, it's, it's, you know... I guess the, also the other question is, when all this is going on, I'm like, "Do I focus on this or, like, are we going to war?" Like-

Joe Rogan 1:08:21 Yeah

Whitney Cummings 1:08:21 ... you know.

Joe Rogan 1:08:22 Well, you can only focus on so much.

Whitney Cummings 1:08:24 I know, I-

Joe Rogan 1:08:25 'Cause that's the thing about the internet. If you wanna get outraged-

Whitney Cummings 1:08:28 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 1:08:28 ... it's there to feed you-

Whitney Cummings 1:08:30 Yeah, totally. And then-

Joe Rogan 1:08:31 All day long

Whitney Cummings 1:08:31 ... and then once you click on something, they're just gonna keep feeding you more and more of that, and I'm sort of like, "Is this as big of a story as my algorithm is telling me it is?" Because I remember, um, [lips smack] uh, you know, and this is, I think, why it's, like, more important than ever to be on stage as much as possible, to just corroborate, like, a premise, to make sure that everyone even is aware of it, given our little echo chambers and stuff. But remember when, [exhales] remember when Kamala Harris was, like, giving speeches that it kind of seemed like she was shit-faced? Like, k- it just, it sort of seemed like she was, like, slurring words or something.

Joe Rogan 1:09:02 Uh-huh.

Whitney Cummings 1:09:02 Those were... You know, that would co- and I was, like, doing this joke about it before the election that was like, you know, like, maybe this is what we need. Like, what's scarier than a, you know, a alcoholic woman with no kids? You know? [chuckles] Like, she can just be calling up, like, Putin in the middle of the night, like, "Hey, faggot!" Like, she's just... You know. And I was doing it, it was doing well, everyone got it, and then I was somewhere in, like, New York City, I think it was, doing- and p- no one had seen that video. People were like, "What are you talking..." No one had seen, had any awareness of that.

Joe Rogan 1:09:32 Hmm.

Whitney Cummings 1:09:32 And I was- it was kind of bone-chilling. 'Cause I'm like, e-

Joe Rogan 1:09:36 Well, she's probably exhausted, right?

Whitney Cummings 1:09:38 Of course.

Joe Rogan 1:09:39 Here's the other thing: you're, you're running around, you're doing-

Whitney Cummings 1:09:41 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:09:42 ... so much.

Whitney Cummings 1:09:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:09:43 You're campaigning, you're constantly doing... Y- uh, uh-

Whitney Cummings 1:09:45 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:09:45 ... if you catch me and I'm really tired-

Whitney Cummings 1:09:47 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:09:47 ... I sound like I'm on pills.

Whitney Cummings 1:09:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:09:49 Like, "Yeah, I'm fucking, you know..." And then you're probably a little casual about everything because you're doing something, you're repeating the same things over and over again.

Whitney Cummings 1:09:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:09:58 You're going to these places. You're fucking completely exhausted, or you're coming off of whatever they put you on to get you up.

Whitney Cummings 1:10:04 Totally. Yeah, adrenaline and, you know... It's also, I think that they're used to- there was this old way of doing things where you could say the same thing on every platform, and no one would cut it all together and show, you know?

Joe Rogan 1:10:18 Yes, that's it. Okay, here it is. I found it. Here, I'm gonna send this to you, Jamie, 'cause this is a apparently a legitimate source.

Whitney Cummings 1:10:25 Hmm.

Speaker 1:10:25 Well, I'm trying... I'm looking up this, the main source they said they got it from. It said, "Homeland Security officials told a source called Just the News."

Joe Rogan 1:10:33 Uh-

Speaker 1:10:33 ... So I've never, I'm just looking up-

Joe Rogan 1:10:35 Well, this is the TSA.

Speaker 1:10:37 Yeah, that's what it says, yeah. "Federal probe, hundreds of millions of dollars in suspected Somali cash leaving Minneapolis Airport." It says that this is the source-

Joe Rogan 1:10:44 Mm-hmm

Speaker 1:10:44 ... of the story. So I was just trying to- [phone dings]

Joe Rogan 1:10:46 Find out what's a legit source

Speaker 1:10:47 ... what they were told and-

Joe Rogan 1:10:49 Yeah. For sure, that money didn't just stay in the community. The, if, especially if they didn't have the ability to organize this and develop this scam, someone else helped them-

Whitney Cummings 1:11:00 Hmm

Joe Rogan 1:11:00 ... and those people were getting money from it.

Whitney Cummings 1:11:02 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:11:02 So how were they getting the money? Were they getting the money in cash?

Whitney Cummings 1:11:04 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:11:05 Was it being sent and wired to offshore accounts? Like, how are they doing it?

Whitney Cummings 1:11:09 And what are the-

Joe Rogan 1:11:09 It's, it's clear that there's, there's so much money missing. There-

Whitney Cummings 1:11:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:11:12 It's in the billions now. [exhales] It's bigger than the entire GDP of Somalia, just from Minnesota, allegedly.

Whitney Cummings 1:11:20 Wild.

Joe Rogan 1:11:21 The entire GDP of a country, one state's fraud, is supposedly over the course of, you know, X amount of days that they, they did this.

Whitney Cummings 1:11:30 And is it true that the guy that uncovered it was kind of like some guy? Like, it was like a-

Joe Rogan 1:11:34 This Nick Shirley kid?

Whitney Cummings 1:11:35 Yeah, this, like, internet-

Joe Rogan 1:11:36 Young kid, yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:11:37 Good for him.

Joe Rogan 1:11:38 But, I mean, there, there's the other question, like, did someone direct him towards this?

Whitney Cummings 1:11:42 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:11:42 Is this like... Y- you know what, what I'm saying?

Whitney Cummings 1:11:44 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:11:45 Like, is this like, did the Republicans set this up to try to expose it?

Whitney Cummings 1:11:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:11:49 Is it, is it him just being an independent-

Whitney Cummings 1:11:52 Interesting

Joe Rogan 1:11:52 ... journalist?

Whitney Cummings 1:11:52 It's such a good question.

Joe Rogan 1:11:52 He seems like a very smart kid. I've seen him... He was on Patrick Bet-David's show.

Whitney Cummings 1:11:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:11:57 He's a virgin.

Whitney Cummings 1:11:58 How- why do we, why do we, why did he, why do we know that?

Joe Rogan 1:12:01 'Cause he's, uh-

Whitney Cummings 1:12:02 Talks about it?

Joe Rogan 1:12:03 ... rebellious.

Whitney Cummings 1:12:03 Sure.

Joe Rogan 1:12:03 He talked about it.

Whitney Cummings 1:12:03 Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:12:04 He said he was a virgin. He said they can't get him on anything. "You can't get me on sexual assault, I'm a virgin. You can't get me on anything."

Speaker 1:12:09 Here's the article.

Whitney Cummings 1:12:09 "We can get you on being a virgin." [clears throat] Here we are.

Joe Rogan 1:12:11 Here's the article. Transportation Sec, uh, Sec- Security Administration flagged nearly $700 million in cash detected in passengers' luggage leaving the Minneapolis airport in the last two years. That's crazy.

Whitney Cummings 1:12:24 That's probably it, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:12:25 That's crazy. A mashive, massive cash exodus believed to be tied to Somali immigrants and their money couriers, Homeland Security officials told Just the News.

Whitney Cummings 1:12:35 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:12:35 So who's the Homeland Security official, though?

Speaker 1:12:37 That's what-

Joe Rogan 1:12:37 You know what I mean?

Speaker 1:12:38 I was reading through it. It, that first statement doesn't say, like, all, all flat... A, it's... Sorry, let me start this over. Some of these were a million dollars, and it says that they were legally declared every time they did it.

Joe Rogan 1:12:48 Right, but you could legally declare it if it was cleared by whoever the fuck is involved in this fraud, right? So if you're donating $35 million last year, just last year, in 2025, to Democratic po- politicians from these Somali daycares, which I believe is true.

Speaker 1:13:05 That's what I was trying to look that up and couldn't find out if that was true.

Whitney Cummings 1:13:07 Bundles of cash in luggage, some as much as a million dollars [chuckles] in a single trip, raised suspicions.

Joe Rogan 1:13:12 Hmm.

Whitney Cummings 1:13:13 Yeah, no-

Speaker 1:13:13 This is the part I don't- that does... I was, like, taking each statement as it doesn't say that those were each, like, that particular one was a Somali person. That could have been someone going to Vegas, could have been someone going to buy a house.

Joe Rogan 1:13:24 Hmm.

Speaker 1:13:24 I don't know, like I'm saying, that all $335 million is the same.

Joe Rogan 1:13:26 Nobody buys a house with a million dollars in cash, Jamie.

Speaker 1:13:28 I'm not saying they did.

Joe Rogan 1:13:29 That's silly.

Speaker 1:13:29 I'm just saying, but it could have been anybody. Could have been, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:13:30 Could have been buying a Bugatti. Could have been, uh-

Speaker 1:13:32 Could have been a poker player going to the World Series of Poker, you know?

Joe Rogan 1:13:34 Dan Cook's brother.

Whitney Cummings 1:13:35 Yep. [chuckles]

Speaker 1:13:36 I'm just sort of saying-

Joe Rogan 1:13:37 [chuckles]

Speaker 1:13:37 ... to be, uh, the... I don't know.

Whitney Cummings 1:13:38 Tony Hinchcliffe-

Speaker 1:13:39 I don't know about that

Whitney Cummings 1:13:39 ... going to the cowboy boot store.

Speaker 1:13:41 ... it's conflating a bunch of stuff together.

Joe Rogan 1:13:43 Right.

Speaker 1:13:43 It could have been every single-

Joe Rogan 1:13:44 Well, what is justthenews.com?

Speaker 1:13:46 That's what I was trying to get into.

Joe Rogan 1:13:46 Is that a legitimate organization?

Speaker 1:13:47 I, I pulled it up, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:13:48 Is that a far-right organization? Let's look at their side articles, and we'll get a view-

Whitney Cummings 1:13:52 Ooh

Joe Rogan 1:13:52 ... of what their p- perspective is.

Whitney Cummings 1:13:54 Is that what you do, look at the trending ones?

Joe Rogan 1:13:56 Make that a little larger. Make that a little larger, and let's, let's see what they... "Trump orders government to buy $200 billion in mortgage bonds to lower rates." That's pro right-wing.

Whitney Cummings 1:14:04 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:14:04 "CDC misled the public with study implying COVID vaccines save healthy kids, UCLA expert warns." Also right-wing. "US seizes another sanctioned oil tanker in the Caribbean." Uh, sanctioned oil tanker, not just oil tanker.

Whitney Cummings 1:14:20 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:14:20 They were sanctioned-

Whitney Cummings 1:14:20 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 1:14:21 ... right-wing. "Maduro's ouster leaves China holding the bag on oil investments," right-wing. Right?

Whitney Cummings 1:14:26 Also, what's an UCLA expert? You mean doctor? [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 1:14:28 Well, what's up- Well, the top one, comrade... No, no, no.

Speaker 1:14:31 Sorry.

Joe Rogan 1:14:31 Larger. "Comrade Singham to face house subpoena as his CCP-tied network reveals re- uh, or leads rather, renewed anti-ICE protests." So it seems like this is a very right-wing-

Whitney Cummings 1:14:45 Hmm

Joe Rogan 1:14:45 ... this Just the News seems like at least lean... See, Just the News, No Noise.

Whitney Cummings 1:14:50 Yeah, house-

Speaker 1:14:50 I saw-

Whitney Cummings 1:14:50 ... in-house fails to override Trump veto. It's like-

Speaker 1:14:52 That statement where it just said Minnesota travelers alone. I was like, "Well, that could be anybody from Minnesota then."

Joe Rogan 1:14:56 [lips smack] Minneapolis travelers alone had 342.37 million in their luggage in 2024. [chuckles] That's a lot of money! Okay, let's find this out. So Minnesota travelers alone had $342.37 million in their luggage in 2024. So let's put into Perplexity: How much money did California travelers have in their luggage in 2024?

Whitney Cummings 1:15:20 How many Bitcoin did California travelers [chuckles] have in their assholes?

Joe Rogan 1:15:25 California travelers have in their luggage in 2024.

Whitney Cummings 1:15:30 But who puts that-

Joe Rogan 1:15:31 At the TSA. At TSA.

Whitney Cummings 1:15:32 But does anyone ever measure your, uh, money when you go through or count it?

Joe Rogan 1:15:36 No.

Speaker 1:15:36 You're supposed to declare, I think, if you have more than 10 grand.

Whitney Cummings 1:15:38 But we lie.

Joe Rogan 1:15:39 Right.

Whitney Cummings 1:15:39 Everyone lies.

Speaker 1:15:39 I know, I know, I know. But that's what-

Joe Rogan 1:15:40 That's true

Speaker 1:15:41 ... that's what they said, but these were all, you know, they were flagged correctly.

Whitney Cummings 1:15:43 But if I went through with, with $1,000, they never would know, or is it-

Joe Rogan 1:15:47 So the amount cannot be determined from available data. TSA and regulated agencies track only limited categories, such as unclaimed money at checkpoints or certain cash seizures.

Whitney Cummings 1:15:56 Mm.

Joe Rogan 1:15:57 And these figures are nationwide rather than specific to California travelers or all money carried in their luggage. Okay.

Whitney Cummings 1:16:04 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:16:05 So how do they know that about Minnesota then?

Whitney Cummings 1:16:08 That's right.

Speaker 1:16:08 It's coming from one source, and that's why I was like, "Why did they only tell one source?"

Joe Rogan 1:16:10 Right.

Speaker 1:16:10 Why wouldn't they have told all the... Like, why wouldn't they call Fox? Why wouldn't they call-

Joe Rogan 1:16:13 Right

Speaker 1:16:14 ... CNN? Why wouldn't they tell everybody?

Joe Rogan 1:16:14 Also, it's this one-

Whitney Cummings 1:16:16 Mm

Joe Rogan 1:16:16 ... very right-leaning website, right? It's appears right-leaning.

Whitney Cummings 1:16:20 How do they ascertain cash someone's carrying through a... I mean, what the heck?

Joe Rogan 1:16:23 The Tennessee Star-

Speaker 1:16:24 Well, they were-

Joe Rogan 1:16:25 ... has it as well.

Speaker 1:16:25 They were just reporting the same article.

Joe Rogan 1:16:27 From Just the News.

Speaker 1:16:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:16:28 Right. So that, that's another way that you can distribute propaganda. You have one source, and then you send that source out, and a bunch of other people repeat it-

Whitney Cummings 1:16:36 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 1:16:36 ... and said, "As reported by-

Whitney Cummings 1:16:38 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:16:38 ... this one website."

Whitney Cummings 1:16:39 Mm.

Joe Rogan 1:16:39 And that one website might be bullshit.

Whitney Cummings 1:16:41 I also like to look at the ads that are on the surrounding, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:16:45 Bullets

Whitney Cummings 1:16:46 ... the article. Exactly! [laughing] If it's, like, gun safe, I'm like, "This is right-wing." If it's like, [chuckles] tampons for men, I'm like, "I think this is a left-wing one. Okay, got it."

Joe Rogan 1:16:53 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:16:53 That always kind of helps. That's wild, the, um, [lips smack] uh, I have a family member who works in, like, kind of banking, and I'm like: What's up with this oil? What's up with the China buying up all the silver? What are we doing?

Joe Rogan 1:17:03 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 1:17:04 Did you see the Doomsday Plane?

Joe Rogan 1:17:06 What's the Doomsday Plane?

Whitney Cummings 1:17:07 The Doomsday Plane, that... I mean, could just be a psyop, but it's, uh, uh, the Doomsday Plane. I think it went to California, the one that is in case of a nuclear event. It can hold, uh, stay in the sky for a couple days and-

Joe Rogan 1:17:20 What?

Whitney Cummings 1:17:20 ... self-refuel. Oh, damn.

Joe Rogan 1:17:22 What?

Whitney Cummings 1:17:22 It's made my nipples hard just looking at it.

Joe Rogan 1:17:24 What?

Whitney Cummings 1:17:24 It's gorgeous. Jamie-

Joe Rogan 1:17:26 Doomsday Plane?

Whitney Cummings 1:17:27 Jamie, can you pull up this Doomsday Plane so people, uh, listening don't think I'm Roseanne? Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:17:33 [laughing] Doomsday, Trump's Doomsday E-4B Plane sighted in Washington and Los Angeles-

Whitney Cummings 1:17:42 But the-

Joe Rogan 1:17:42 ... days after Maduro capture.

Whitney Cummings 1:17:43 But get that pretty picture up of it. I mean, that... It looks just-

Joe Rogan 1:17:46 That's a terrible picture.

Whitney Cummings 1:17:47 Yeah, that just looks like a-

Joe Rogan 1:17:48 How is that the only picture?

Whitney Cummings 1:17:48 Yeah, that looks-

Joe Rogan 1:17:48 Well, that's them sighting it.

Speaker 1:17:49 Yeah, it is.

Joe Rogan 1:17:50 But go back to the art- oh, that's okay.

Whitney Cummings 1:17:51 Ah, look at this thing.

Joe Rogan 1:17:52 [exhales] Hmm, that's the Doomsday Plane?

Whitney Cummings 1:17:55 I don't know if it's that. Isn't that the top one-

Joe Rogan 1:17:56 They're all different

Whitney Cummings 1:17:57 ... with the blue stripe?

Joe Rogan 1:17:58 [sniffs] That's... Wait a minute, they're all different.

Speaker 1:18:00 Well, this is when they're selling it from Northrop Grumman, so anybody can buy it, and then you get it in America, there's logos on it, so.

Joe Rogan 1:18:05 Right, but it's also different in the way it's built. Look at the top of it. Is that the escape pod at the very top-

Speaker 1:18:10 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 1:18:10 ... where they pop off and go to Mars?

Speaker 1:18:12 Similar.

Whitney Cummings 1:18:12 Mm-hmm. [laughing]

Speaker 1:18:13 It's similar.

Joe Rogan 1:18:14 Inside the Doomsday Plane. Okay, so what it- go back to the article. Like, what is the ca- well, we'll put it into Perplexity: What is the capacity of the United States' Doomsday E-4B Plane? Like, what does it do?

Whitney Cummings 1:18:28 It can, like, stay in the air for a couple days. It can refuel itself. Uh...

Joe Rogan 1:18:33 What is the capacity of the Doomsday Plane the United States has?

Speaker 1:18:38 E-4B.

Whitney Cummings 1:18:40 It's chock-full of cocaine, ketamine. [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 1:18:45 [chuckles] Elon made sure it's got ketamine on there.

Whitney Cummings 1:18:47 Mushrooms. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 1:18:50 Okay, it can accommodate a little over 100 people, with typical published figures ranging from about 108 mission crew up to, up to roughly 111 to 112 total passengers, uh, total, total personnel, including flight crew and staff, and official media descriptions usually summarized as seating for around 110 people. What can it do?

Speaker 1:19:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:19:09 Okay, endurance. Look at that. What's the maximum endurance? Click on that.

Whitney Cummings 1:19:12 No, this thing is like a beast.

Joe Rogan 1:19:16 Okay.

Speaker 1:19:16 It's only gonna give us one answer at a time.

Joe Rogan 1:19:17 Can stay aloft for 150 hours.

Whitney Cummings 1:19:19 Oh, that's it?

Joe Rogan 1:19:20 Mm-hmm, that's not much. With sources, uh, describing capabilities from roughly 72 hours up to about a week in sustained operations.

Whitney Cummings 1:19:30 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:19:30 So it can fly for a week.

Whitney Cummings 1:19:32 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:19:32 That's crazy.

Whitney Cummings 1:19:33 'Cause it can self-fuel. It can fuel-

Joe Rogan 1:19:35 Keep it up, please

Whitney Cummings 1:19:35 ... in the air.

Joe Rogan 1:19:36 Keep it up, please, and then w- how long can it stay, uh, with aerial refueling? 'Cause this is what I think you were getting at.

Whitney Cummings 1:19:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:19:43 ... It can theoretically remain airborne for several days, limited mainly by crew fatigue and maintenance needs-

Whitney Cummings 1:19:49 Hmm

Joe Rogan 1:19:49 -rather than fuel. Multiple sources describe realistic endurance of roughly three to seven days of continuous flight under sustained operations when supported by tankers and rotation of crew. So here's the thing, if i- it is a doomsday scenario, and you're up in the air for five days, that's just like, that just means you're gonna die in five days.

Whitney Cummings 1:20:08 That's right.

Joe Rogan 1:20:08 What's the-

Whitney Cummings 1:20:09 Or do you just pull this out as a message to everybody? You know, because you would only need this in, if there was a nuclear event, right?

Joe Rogan 1:20:17 Right.

Whitney Cummings 1:20:17 So is the idea to just go like, "Hey, what just happened in, you know, Venezuela, just, just so you guys know, we're flying this thing around?"

Joe Rogan 1:20:25 Hmm.

Whitney Cummings 1:20:26 You know?

Joe Rogan 1:20:26 I guess.

Whitney Cummings 1:20:27 When's the last time it flew? When's the last time it made a cameo? Also, I don't... I mean, I know we were texting about the, um, the Delta extraction, and, like, I would never, uh, want to, um... [sniffs] I mean, watching the video of the Delta extra- extraction, how they, uh, uh, of, uh, uh, Maduro, they built, like, a replica of the building and were blindfolded, like, going through it, you know, practicing it and stuff. But it, it, it- [inhales] I was talking to your guy, uh, when we were coming over. It could've been pre-negotiated, right? There is a chance that that could have been pre-negotiated.

Joe Rogan 1:20:58 They killed 80 of his ser- his security team.

Whitney Cummings 1:21:00 Okay, never mind. Uh, but-

Joe Rogan 1:21:02 I don't think it was negotiated.

Whitney Cummings 1:21:03 Yeah, no, probably not.

Joe Rogan 1:21:04 Here's one funny one-

Whitney Cummings 1:21:05 But it is weird that his wife was there. I guess that was, like, a thing a couple people flagged or-

Joe Rogan 1:21:09 What, that they kidnapped her?

Whitney Cummings 1:21:10 Just that she was there and involved. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:21:12 Well, she's his wife.

Whitney Cummings 1:21:13 Yeah, it's whatever.

Joe Rogan 1:21:14 Um, one of the funny ones was somebody posted on Twitter, uh, a photograph of this woman and her children, and she's- and the, the journalist said, uh, "This woman and, uh, her children, her husband and their father was killed in the US raid in Venezuela." And then everybody was like, "Right." What was he there for? What was he doing there?

Whitney Cummings 1:21:37 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:21:37 Was he a fucking mercenary? Like, what was he doing?

Whitney Cummings 1:21:40 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:21:41 You know? He was Cuban, apparently, 'cause there was a lot of, uh, Cuban de- defense that they used-

Whitney Cummings 1:21:47 Hmm

Joe Rogan 1:21:47 ... that Maduro used for whatever reason. I guess communists love each other.

Whitney Cummings 1:21:50 Yeah, yeah, [chuckles] yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:21:51 They hang out with each other, other dictators, like, "Hey, let me borrow some of your guys."

Whitney Cummings 1:21:55 Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:21:56 Well, I mean-

Whitney Cummings 1:21:56 Like-minded

Joe Rogan 1:21:56 ... the guy might have been a mercenary. There was certainly mercenaries working for him.

Whitney Cummings 1:22:01 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:22:01 I mean, he had 80 people died that were there protecting him.

Whitney Cummings 1:22:06 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:22:06 They just fucking stormed in. They didn't lose a single US serviceman.

Whitney Cummings 1:22:10 Why? So sick.

Joe Rogan 1:22:11 Crazy.

Whitney Cummings 1:22:12 S- I mean, just, like, flawless.

Joe Rogan 1:22:14 Other dictators have gotta be like, "Fuck!"

Whitney Cummings 1:22:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:22:17 "I didn't know they could do that."

Whitney Cummings 1:22:17 I mean, is that why Iran, they, there... Was that why Iran was like, "Now's the time, like, to-"

Joe Rogan 1:22:22 Oh, well, well, the people are cracking down.

Whitney Cummings 1:22:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:22:25 The people are out in the streets now, but now, apparently, the Islamic regime is assassinating people that are protesting now.

Whitney Cummings 1:22:31 Of course. And your boy... This is where Elon really shines. Like, you know, with the, bringing Starlink over to a country that has cut off Wi-Fi.

Joe Rogan 1:22:40 Right.

Whitney Cummings 1:22:41 Right?

Joe Rogan 1:22:41 'Cause that's what they do.

Whitney Cummings 1:22:42 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:22:42 They cut off Wi-Fi, so these people can't organize. But then-

Whitney Cummings 1:22:44 I think it's also been cut off for them. I mean, I don't... I think they've had a limited version of it for so long anyway.

Joe Rogan 1:22:48 Well, they definitely kill people who protest.

Whitney Cummings 1:22:50 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:22:50 They killed a gold medalist in the Olympics. They killed a guy who was a, uh, wrestler, gold medalist, and because the UFC tried to get involved and keep this guy from being assassinated, they killed him.

Whitney Cummings 1:23:00 You've seen, like, pictures-

Joe Rogan 1:23:00 Or executed, I should say

Whitney Cummings 1:23:01 ... and, like, video of Iran in, like, the '70s and stuff?

Joe Rogan 1:23:04 Oh, yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:23:04 Crazy!

Joe Rogan 1:23:05 Yeah, we did that. Yeah, we did that because they wanted to nationalize their oil. We were like, "Nah, player." [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 1:23:11 Mm-hmm. Nah, nah. Oh, hell nah, bruh.

Joe Rogan 1:23:14 Yes. Yeah, they had a, a democratic society. It is entirely because of the intelligence agencies. We went over there, and, you know, the... You, you could find the story.

Whitney Cummings 1:23:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:23:23 Find the story so I don't butcher it. But essentially, the Shah was like: "Hey, um, why is the British Petroleum company," or whatever it was, "why are they making all the money?"

Whitney Cummings 1:23:35 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:23:35 "We'll, we'll nationalize our oil." And he was gone, you know, within days.

Whitney Cummings 1:23:40 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:23:40 And they put in the Islamic regime, and it has been-

Whitney Cummings 1:23:45 [exhales]

Joe Rogan 1:23:45 ... a religious state ever since then. I mean, that's, that's our doing, be- or the British Oil Company and us, multiple different people, and it w- essentially, it was all just about his oil-

Whitney Cummings 1:23:57 Hmm

Joe Rogan 1:23:58 ... or the country's oil, rather.

Whitney Cummings 1:23:59 But Maduro, like, he was gonna be torn limb to limb at some point, right, by-

Joe Rogan 1:24:04 Well, he had a bounty on him by the Biden administration.

Whitney Cummings 1:24:07 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:24:07 This is one thing that people need to understand. It wasn't just the Trump administration-

Whitney Cummings 1:24:10 The Hunter Biden?

Joe Rogan 1:24:12 Uh... [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 1:24:12 That's who it was handed. [laughing]

Joe Rogan 1:24:13 Yeah, he had his own administration. He's smoking crack. "Kill him!"

Whitney Cummings 1:24:16 Yeah. [laughing]

Joe Rogan 1:24:16 "He's ruining my crack." No, the Biden administration had a m- uh, had a bounty on Maduro. They had a, I believe it was 20 million or 22 million-

Whitney Cummings 1:24:25 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 1:24:26 ... um, trying to get people to off that guy. So it wasn't like we're the only ones that think he was a bad guy. They were trying to use money-

Whitney Cummings 1:24:34 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 1:24:35 ... to get people to kill that guy.

Whitney Cummings 1:24:36 And, uh, besides the oil of it all, like, were they gonna allow China and Russia to put, like, use it, like, to put missiles there?

Joe Rogan 1:24:43 China was there negotiating with Maduro the day the US came and kidnapped him.

Whitney Cummings 1:24:49 Bad move, homie.

Joe Rogan 1:24:50 They came in that day and were having meetings with Maduro, and that night, [snaps fingers] they snatched him out of his bed.

Whitney Cummings 1:24:56 You think to, uh, get oil or to put nuclear, uh, sites?

Joe Rogan 1:24:59 100% to get oil.

Whitney Cummings 1:25:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:25:00 They want that oil.

Whitney Cummings 1:25:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:25:01 Everybody wants that oil.

Whitney Cummings 1:25:02 I- it's so funny, like, when, um, uh, you know, having a kid, the, you know, the way that it changes you, but, like, be- the things you focus on, the things you're obsessed with that keep you up at night. Like, before I had a kid, it was like: Is he gonna text me back? Now, I'm, like, obsessed with, like, finite resources.

Joe Rogan 1:25:15 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 1:25:15 I'm like: Where's all the helium?

Joe Rogan 1:25:18 [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 1:25:18 Like, we're, we're running out of helium. Like, where's the w-

Joe Rogan 1:25:20 What's helium for, besides balloons?

Whitney Cummings 1:25:21 Um, uh, uh, hilarious. Yeah. [chuckles] I won't be able to have a birthday party for my son. [laughing]

Joe Rogan 1:25:28 [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 1:25:29 What are clowns gonna do? Uh, no, it's, uh, for, uh, ventilators, although I think we found that ventilators actually [chuckles] w-

Joe Rogan 1:25:35 In COVID, they killed people

Whitney Cummings 1:25:36 ... harmed people.

Joe Rogan 1:25:37 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:25:37 But I think it's, like, ventilators and medical stuff. Like, you know, helium is finite. Like, there's only a certain amount, and we kinda just use it for, like, the Macy's Day Parade, for, like, [chuckles] floats and shit.

Joe Rogan 1:25:46 Oh.

Whitney Cummings 1:25:46 Um, but I think that there is actually a lot of helium in Texas, maybe Oklahoma, and then Qatar is, like, the other place that it-

Joe Rogan 1:25:52 Oh!

Whitney Cummings 1:25:53 ... we have it, but we have a-

Joe Rogan 1:25:54 Interesting

Whitney Cummings 1:25:54 ... limited supply of helium.

Joe Rogan 1:25:56 I never even thought about helium before.... except the comedy clubs.

Whitney Cummings 1:25:59 Don't get me started on Sa- oh!

Joe Rogan 1:26:01 Shout out to Philly.

Whitney Cummings 1:26:01 We have, yeah-

Joe Rogan 1:26:02 Helium in Philly

Whitney Cummings 1:26:03 ... I, Helium-

Joe Rogan 1:26:03 Great fucking club.

Whitney Cummings 1:26:03 Philly, awesome club. Also, um, Sand, I think was-

Joe Rogan 1:26:06 Jamie, what's the story behind Iran and the nationalization of their oil?

Speaker 1:26:10 Well, that's, I mean, that's a, that's a longer story-

Joe Rogan 1:26:12 Right

Speaker 1:26:12 ... that goes back to the '50s and '70s, and, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:26:14 Right. But when we did it, because we definitely were involved-

Whitney Cummings 1:26:17 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:26:17 The US was involved in overthrowing the legitimate-

Whitney Cummings 1:26:20 Mm

Joe Rogan 1:26:20 ... government of Iran.

Whitney Cummings 1:26:22 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:26:23 And putting, putting the Ayatollah in. And then they, they ruined the entire country because Iranian women are fucking hot.

Whitney Cummings 1:26:30 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:26:31 They are beautiful.

Whitney Cummings 1:26:32 And smart as shit. I truly-

Joe Rogan 1:26:34 Oh, yeah

Whitney Cummings 1:26:34 ... every, uh, uh, my, uh, OB, who s- like, saved me and my son's life during childbirth, like, just Iranian bitches do not play around.

Joe Rogan 1:26:42 They make great wrestlers, too.

Whitney Cummings 1:26:43 Do they? [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 1:26:43 United States initially tried to mediate between Britain and Iran during the 1951 nationalization crisis, but then moved to help overturn Iran's elected government to reverse the consequences of the nationalizations. All about oil. 1953-

Whitney Cummings 1:26:56 Always

Joe Rogan 1:26:56 ... US officials helped organize the coup that removed Prime Minister Mohammad... How do you say that word? Mossadegh? Mossadegh. I don't know how to say that word.

Whitney Cummings 1:27:06 I'm gonna leave you out on a cliff on this one.

Joe Rogan 1:27:08 Uh, whose rise had been closely tied to the nationalization of Iranian oil. In March 1951, Iran's parliament, uh, voted to nationalize the assets of British-owned Anglo Iranian oil company-

Whitney Cummings 1:27:21 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 1:27:22 ... responding to longstanding grievances over low royalties and foreign control. That's it. Nationalist leader became Prime Minister soon after and made implementation of nationalization central to his program. [lips smack] So under President Truman, the US generally opposed the idea of full nationalization in principle, but did not want Iran pushed to the collapse or move toward the Soviet Union. Washington sent envoys such as J- oh, so they wanted to keep it away from the Soviet Union, so they turned it into a Islamic regime.

Whitney Cummings 1:27:50 Sure.

Joe Rogan 1:27:51 [lips smack] George McGee and W. Averell Harriman to seek a compromise that would preserve Western access to oil, while accepting some changes to the existing concession. Okay.

Whitney Cummings 1:28:02 It's always-

Joe Rogan 1:28:02 Coup and reversal in '51, '53, under President Eisenhower, US Central Intelligence Agency worked... There it is.

Whitney Cummings 1:28:08 Yep.

Joe Rogan 1:28:08 Working with Britain's MI6, carried out Operation Ajax, covert operation to overthrow Mos- uh, whatever you say his name is, Mossadegh.

Whitney Cummings 1:28:17 Mossadegh.

Joe Rogan 1:28:19 Um, and strengthened the Shah's rule. The coup removed the government most associated with oil nationalization, and paved the way in 1954 for an international oil consortium in which five major US oil companies, along with British and other firms, gained significant stakes in Iranian oil, ending exclusive British control. That's it. We did it.

Whitney Cummings 1:28:40 So fascinated by-

Joe Rogan 1:28:41 We ruined it.

Whitney Cummings 1:28:41 There was this, um, uh, TV show on, um, I think National Geographic, I wanna say, called A Little Light or A Small Light, that was about, like, what was going on with, you know, in the Holocaust. Like, w- it was a slow- it was slow. It wasn't just, like, one day, they just got... You know, it was like they, you know-

Joe Rogan 1:28:58 Mm-hmm

Whitney Cummings 1:28:59 ... slowly started, you know, uh, uh, seizing art, and then, y- you know, not letting them get jobs. Like, how these gradual things happened. Like, to go from the '70s of, like, the women out in bathing suits on the-

Joe Rogan 1:29:09 Mm-hmm

Whitney Cummings 1:29:09 ... to the, like, there's women that were, you know, that had enjoyed the freedom, and then all of a sudden had to... Like, it's just so fascinating that, like, how gradual it is.

Joe Rogan 1:29:21 Oh, yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:29:22 And how they- you get desensitized, how you make-

Joe Rogan 1:29:24 It's a frog in boiling water.

Whitney Cummings 1:29:25 That's it.

Joe Rogan 1:29:26 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:29:26 That's it.

Joe Rogan 1:29:26 They don't realize they're boiling until it's too late.

Whitney Cummings 1:29:29 Or you do know what's happening, and then-

Joe Rogan 1:29:30 And that's what's happening right now in New York City. [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 1:29:34 But he said he would stop the carriage horses, so I'm all for it.

Joe Rogan 1:29:37 I'm kind of down with that.

Whitney Cummings 1:29:38 Yeah, me too.

Joe Rogan 1:29:39 I think that's fucked up.

Whitney Cummings 1:29:40 That's disgusting.

Joe Rogan 1:29:40 Those horses do not need to be wandering around New York City, sniffing fucking brake dust-

Whitney Cummings 1:29:44 It's disgusting

Joe Rogan 1:29:45 ... carrying assholes around.

Whitney Cummings 1:29:47 It's disgusting. I mean, it's, uh... You know, you know me and my, like, uh, horse thing. Uh, but it's, it's so disgusting, and, you know, the amount-- it's like nobody knows how many elephants kill their trainers a year, and how many... You know, the, all kinds of cra- we saw the orca kill the trainer, you know?

Joe Rogan 1:30:02 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 1:30:02 But stuff like that happens so often, and they just cover it up.

Joe Rogan 1:30:04 Sure.

Whitney Cummings 1:30:04 But the amount of, of carriage horses, a couple of them got out. Um, and we've seen them get out, and we've seen them collapse, and all this horrific stuff. And, um, something else is going on with it, which is... And look, I'm, [chuckles] I'm the first person to say, like, New York was really safe when the mafia was, [laughing] you know, kind of like there's that documentary about how they would sort of protect people in the subways, and sort of would fill in where the government couldn't. Um, but there's something going on with the horse carriage business. A horse got out, who was 29 years old. Archie was his name.

Joe Rogan 1:30:35 29-

Whitney Cummings 1:30:36 29

Joe Rogan 1:30:36 ... years old for a horse.

Whitney Cummings 1:30:37 Yeah. Yeah, it only had a couple more years. And I tried to negotiate with them, got a bunch of friends that have, like, FU money, and basically said: "You're gonna get $38,000 cash." This was a horse that's pretty much done.

Joe Rogan 1:30:49 Right.

Whitney Cummings 1:30:50 "Cash. We'll take the horse in the middle of the night. No social media, nothing." And they said no. The amount of money they're making is so insane, and it's mostly-

Joe Rogan 1:30:59 From horse-drawn carriages?

Whitney Cummings 1:31:00 It's mostly tourists, honestly, from-

Joe Rogan 1:31:02 They make that much money from horse-drawn carriages?

Whitney Cummings 1:31:04 Tons. Tons. From other countries, of people that have different ideas of animal, uh, respect towards animals than we do.

Joe Rogan 1:31:11 Oh, so it's mostly foreigners riding in the horse-drawn carriages?

Whitney Cummings 1:31:13 Yeah, I don't think it's-

Joe Rogan 1:31:14 I've seen a lot of white people in those things.

Whitney Cummings 1:31:15 Oh, really? Well-

Joe Rogan 1:31:16 Yeah

Whitney Cummings 1:31:16 ... Polish people can be white.

Joe Rogan 1:31:17 A lot of silly-

Whitney Cummings 1:31:17 Russian, white, whatever

Joe Rogan 1:31:18 ... goofy fucks.

Whitney Cummings 1:31:19 Yeah, they may be that.

Joe Rogan 1:31:20 Drunk.

Whitney Cummings 1:31:20 Yeah, fair.

Joe Rogan 1:31:20 "Oh, we're in a horse. It's so romantic. We're out in the, the air and-

Whitney Cummings 1:31:25 Do [chuckles] -

Joe Rogan 1:31:26 Clop, clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop.

Whitney Cummings 1:31:28 It'd be so much sick- I p- I pitched them, like, do robot horses, like sick ro- dinosaurs. Do, like, a dinosaur trolley ride or something around the city. That'd be so much-

Joe Rogan 1:31:35 Jamie, I sent you that thing about the lady that's now in charge of housing in New York. This is wild. This one's wo- she wants to, uh, uh, like, kill real estate value. That's her idea.

Whitney Cummings 1:31:48 Mm.

Joe Rogan 1:31:49 Like, she wants to, like, literally to make housing more affordable, she wants to kill real estate value.

Whitney Cummings 1:31:54 It's an inelastic good. You can't-

Joe Rogan 1:31:55 Well, she's... It's m- moronic thinking.

Whitney Cummings 1:31:58 Oh, this woman!

Joe Rogan 1:31:58 Listen to this lady. Listen to this.

Whitney Cummings 1:32:00 And she has, like, a million-dollar house?

Joe Rogan 1:32:02 Her mom does.

Whitney Cummings 1:32:02 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:32:03 ... Well, of course.

Whitney Cummings 1:32:05 In which a housing is owned by a collective, and people are paying 30% of their income in order to live in their housing. If your income is zero, you pay zero. If your income is $500,000 a year, you're paying 30% of that, and the government is providing the sort of- the government is, is the sort of owner, or not even the owner. The government doesn't have to be the owner, but the government is what's making sure all of that sort of works and cash flows.

Joe Rogan 1:32:29 The debt-to-GDP ratio right now is the highest since World War II. So how can the federal government also afford to start subsidizing rental housing costs?

Whitney Cummings 1:32:40 The federal government prints money. The federal government can provide money for this.

Joe Rogan 1:32:44 So it's by printing money?

Whitney Cummings 1:32:46 Sure.

Joe Rogan 1:32:47 That's her idea: print money. The federal government print money to provide housing, jack up interest rates, jack up the fucking debt, print money to provide housing, and everyone pays 30% for housing.

Whitney Cummings 1:33:03 First of all, why are you talking to me in a hoodie? [laughing] What-- Like, what mental illness is that? Like, how dare you?

Joe Rogan 1:33:11 Look at your face.

Whitney Cummings 1:33:11 First of all, you look like powder.

Joe Rogan 1:33:13 Look at that, look at that face.

Whitney Cummings 1:33:13 You look like... Yeah, [chuckles] like, first of all-

Joe Rogan 1:33:14 The movie Powder with Jennifer Aniston.

Whitney Cummings 1:33:15 First of all, get a blowout, throw some mascara on. Like, we're-

Joe Rogan 1:33:18 Uh... [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 1:33:18 Are we professionals anymore? You're in a Costco hoodie and a f- a T-shirt. Like, what are we doing?

Joe Rogan 1:33:24 Well, you've seen they've confronted her about these ideas, and she breaks down crying and-

Whitney Cummings 1:33:27 But she didn't even know what she's saying. She's like: "Well, sort of, uh..."

Joe Rogan 1:33:29 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:33:29 Like, she was kind of-

Joe Rogan 1:33:30 No, we won't own it. It, uh-

Whitney Cummings 1:33:32 Her training was UCB.

Joe Rogan 1:33:33 Ah.

Whitney Cummings 1:33:33 Like, she's just improvising an idea. "No, the government does that." She's not even making eye contact. Like, damn!

Joe Rogan 1:33:39 Well, a lot of these wokies, they come from rich families. [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 1:33:42 Sure.

Joe Rogan 1:33:42 They feel bad about-

Whitney Cummings 1:33:44 Sure

Joe Rogan 1:33:44 ... being privileged.

Whitney Cummings 1:33:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:33:46 And, and one specifically thing, thing she said that was gonna really impact white people.

Whitney Cummings 1:33:51 What is fascinating about that is that because I think she believes she's coming from the moral high ground, I think this is what's really sort of... But as someone who I feel like is similar to you, and then I'm like, I was as liberal... I, I had blue hair, you guys. Like, I-

Joe Rogan 1:34:06 Yeah, I remember when you had blue hair. [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 1:34:07 I rescue pit bulls.

Joe Rogan 1:34:08 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:34:08 Like, it doesn't get any more liberal than me. Like, it doesn't-

Joe Rogan 1:34:11 Right

Whitney Cummings 1:34:11 ... get any more. But the whole idea with being liberal is like, you had me at: We're not racist, everyone's equal.

Joe Rogan 1:34:18 Right.

Whitney Cummings 1:34:19 That- but the, you know, uh, diversity. But then it turns into diversity-

Joe Rogan 1:34:23 Communism

Whitney Cummings 1:34:23 ... diversity, but not diversity of thought. [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 1:34:26 Right.

Whitney Cummings 1:34:26 Not d- [chuckles] Right?

Joe Rogan 1:34:27 Right, right.

Whitney Cummings 1:34:27 The, the, the hypocrisy of it got s- and I think that as comics, we're people who... [lips smack] You know, I may not be a expert in politics, but I'm an expert on hypocrisy. When you grow up around alcoholics who say, "I love you," and then their behavior's in Congress, you study... You look for patterns of hypocrisy. That's just what-

Joe Rogan 1:34:44 Mm-hmm

Whitney Cummings 1:34:45 ... we're wired to do. So it just started to just be like: Hold on, uh, you know, we don't believe in gender, but we need a female president. You're like-

Joe Rogan 1:34:51 [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 1:34:52 ... "Huh?" And then it's like, my body, my choice, unless it's a baby that needs a vaccine for hepatitis B, which comes from butt sex. Like, what are you... Right?

Joe Rogan 1:35:00 And sharing needles.

Whitney Cummings 1:35:01 And sharing needles, which... And then, you know, we believe in climate change, and sea is rising, but we live on the coast. Like, would you buy a house on the beach if you truly believed that the seas are... You know, we believe in recycling, but why can't you give Andrew Yang another shot? Like, why won't you give... What- where did Beto go? Remember Beto O'Rourke?

Joe Rogan 1:35:20 Oh, that guy was a mess.

Whitney Cummings 1:35:21 Well, but he, but but h- any more so than any-

Joe Rogan 1:35:24 Oh, yeah, yeah, he's a mess.

Whitney Cummings 1:35:25 The... How, like, worse than-

Joe Rogan 1:35:27 No. I mean, they're all a mess. Like, the... When you have these-

Whitney Cummings 1:35:31 Of course

Joe Rogan 1:35:31 ... blanket progressive ideas, you're- you've attached yourself to an ideology, and that ideology you'll defend because it's your identity, it's you, it's who you are.

Whitney Cummings 1:35:40 But didn't he, he, he at least seemed... You know, I m- you know, I didn't know that much about what... Uh, from what I knew, he made a joke about his wife taking care of the kids, and every- and the left was like: "You're sexist-"

Joe Rogan 1:35:49 Ah.

Whitney Cummings 1:35:50 - "You hate, hate women." It was like-

Joe Rogan 1:35:51 Of course

Whitney Cummings 1:35:51 ... th- this, but what I saw with her was this idea of: I'm so moral that I don't even have to make a good argument. And the left start- stopped making an argument or even, uh, outlining what... They're just, "Well, no, I'm moral, and I'm better than you, and I don't have to even make an argument," so.

Joe Rogan 1:36:07 Well, that... I mean, I don't know when she gave that interview. So let's suppose she gave that interview a long time ago before she had this job, and she was just saying: This is what ideally I would like. And then she gets the job, right? And now when she's... What is her official job?

Speaker 1:36:23 It was, uh, 2021 was the interview-

Joe Rogan 1:36:25 There you go. See?

Speaker 1:36:26 ... and she's been, uh, the office of, Office to Protect Tenants.

Joe Rogan 1:36:30 So was she working for that office back then?

Speaker 1:36:32 No, no, no, no. She would've been, I think, on Mondame's... I don't even know if he was running. He wouldn't have been running back in 2021, would he? Right.

Joe Rogan 1:36:39 Well, she definitely was doing podcasts with him back then.

Speaker 1:36:42 Yeah, there was a podcast-

Whitney Cummings 1:36:42 Well, she definitely just got out of SoulCycle in this video, and-

Speaker 1:36:45 But yeah, I don't know what her actual position was back at the time. She might've just been on his campaign. I don't-

Joe Rogan 1:36:49 Okay, so this was Reason, the, and they were having this conversation with her.

Speaker 1:36:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:36:54 And so to lead the city's Office to Protect Tenants. Look, there's definitely slumlords.

Whitney Cummings 1:37:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:37:00 You should definitely protect tenants. There's definitely shitty owners and landlords that are assholes.

Whitney Cummings 1:37:06 She's basically saying government housing.

Joe Rogan 1:37:08 Yeah, but that, what the, what she's saying is crazy. [thud] Like, taking 30% of whatever you make, that's nuts. So if you make a billion dollars a year-

Whitney Cummings 1:37:16 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 1:37:16 ... if you're Elon Musk or whoever it is, y- you, you have to pay 30%?

Whitney Cummings 1:37:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:37:20 That's bananas.

Whitney Cummings 1:37:21 The thing about New York, and maybe this is, you know... And I don't, I don't even know what's, you know, uh, side anything, an idea makes anybody on anymore. Sometimes I'll say something, and people will be like: "Oh, so you're, like, alt-left." And I'm like: I don't know. I just thought that was a good idea. Then people will be like: "Oh, so you're, like, super conservative." I'm like: No, I just-

Joe Rogan 1:37:37 Adopt, don't shop.

Whitney Cummings 1:37:38 Yeah, ex- you got it. And so-

Joe Rogan 1:37:40 Or shop, don't adopt. [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 1:37:42 And so [chuckles] New York is expensive. That's the deal. If you don't ha- you ca- I remember one time going to Howard Stern's house, and Howard Stern is... He's got more money than the guy... And it was, like, still in... He was able to get two, buy two floors of a... But it's still, like, an apartment. You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 1:38:00 Right.

Whitney Cummings 1:38:00 It's like New York- this is what, whatever, $100 million, whatever, it gets you in New York, like-

Joe Rogan 1:38:04 I know, it's nuts

Whitney Cummings 1:38:04 ... still not that big. [chuckles] Like, like-

Joe Rogan 1:38:06 I know

Whitney Cummings 1:38:07 ... my horse's sta-

Joe Rogan 1:38:08 And you don't even have a yard.

Whitney Cummings 1:38:08 Yeah, my horse's stable is, like, twice the size of this, like- [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 1:38:10 But if you wanna live in the city for convenience, that's what it costs.

Whitney Cummings 1:38:14 That's right.

Joe Rogan 1:38:14 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:38:15 So it's like if-

Joe Rogan 1:38:15 And if you're Jeffrey Epstein, somebody donates you a house.

Whitney Cummings 1:38:18 ... That's right.

Joe Rogan 1:38:19 That's right.

Whitney Cummings 1:38:19 Or an office on the Harvard campus.

Joe Rogan 1:38:21 Yeah. [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 1:38:23 Um, I love it when people [chuckles] that, like, are professors at Harvard are like, "I was pro- professor at Harvard." Like, well, so absolutely not an office, too, but like, okay, I feel like you [chuckles] ... Um, it's just like New York's supposed to be expensive. That's the deal, you know? And, you know, I had a place there for, like, a year. I remember I was in, um, like Chelsea area, and... 'Cause I just wanted to go back and forth. I was like, try- there's something about New York that does really put a fire under your ass. Like, I remember, um, you know, actually it was Dice, uh, back in the day. I used to just ask comics like, you know, 'cause you're just... You're a nobody, and you're just starting, and you're in the hallway with a legend. Like, what do you say? You know, and I would always just go like, "If you have any advice, happy to hear it." You know, some people love giving advice, other people-

Joe Rogan 1:39:05 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 1:39:05 I wasn't, like, going up to Bill Burr, like, "Help me!" Like, I could read the vibe, and he said, "Sleep. Like, get as much sleep as you can." And then he was like, "When you make it, make sure you don't get too comfortable," 'cause, like, as comics, we still need to kind of-

Joe Rogan 1:39:18 Mm.

Whitney Cummings 1:39:19 And I think that for a long-

Joe Rogan 1:39:20 Good advice

Whitney Cummings 1:39:21 ... For a long time, I, I think I took bad advice that maybe I had just gleaned, I don't remember anyone giving it to me, of like, "You have to be crazy to be funny, or your life has to be a mess to be funny." I think a lot of comics-

Joe Rogan 1:39:32 Mm-hmm

Whitney Cummings 1:39:32 ... hold on to that. "If I ever get happy or have a kid or am in a healthy relationship, I won't be as funny." I don't think that's true. I actually think it freed up bandwidth, like, [chuckles] getting out of that-

Joe Rogan 1:39:42 It doesn't have to be true, but it can be true.

Whitney Cummings 1:39:44 Can be. That's right.

Joe Rogan 1:39:45 Well, comfort can make people fat, too. They can get lazy.

Whitney Cummings 1:39:49 But also, it's like if you're not... You know, that's why I go to the grocery store. I got- you know, not that I, you know, wouldn't, but, like, you g- I- you gotta make sure that you're still in the trenches and that you still don't, you don't make your life so easy that, you know, [chuckles] you-

Joe Rogan 1:40:00 Right. You're not disassociated. You're not disconnected from the outside world.

Whitney Cummings 1:40:04 That's right.

Joe Rogan 1:40:04 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:40:04 And just atrophied, like, and less resilient and like-

Joe Rogan 1:40:07 Mm-hmm

Whitney Cummings 1:40:07 ... you know? Um, and, uh, you know, so wh- what am I talking about? This is, this is where mom brain does come in.

Joe Rogan 1:40:15 You were talking about New York City.

Whitney Cummings 1:40:16 New York City. So I'm in New York City, and I just wanted to write new stuff. It was like things were going well. I had bought a house, and I was like, "You know, New York's just, you're just a little more of a dog fight."

Joe Rogan 1:40:24 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 1:40:24 And I wanted to go to The Cellar and, you know, The Stand and all these places. And, um, I'm in this apartment, it's probably-

Joe Rogan 1:40:29 What year is this?

Whitney Cummings 1:40:29 Eight [exhales] right before the pandemic.

Joe Rogan 1:40:32 Oh.

Whitney Cummings 1:40:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:40:33 You b- got an apartment-

Whitney Cummings 1:40:34 Maybe

Joe Rogan 1:40:34 ... in New York before the pandemic?

Whitney Cummings 1:40:35 Mm-hmm. For, like, a... It was- I- I was already out of it probably six months before.

Joe Rogan 1:40:38 So were you going back and forth?

Whitney Cummings 1:40:39 I had it for a year. I was going back and forth.

Joe Rogan 1:40:41 Okay.

Whitney Cummings 1:40:41 'Cause I also was, like, touring so much that I would go, "Okay, if I'm gonna be in, you know, Florida at the end of, uh, you know, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, I should just go to New York, 'cause then I'm going to North Carolina that Thursday anyway."

Joe Rogan 1:40:52 Right.

Whitney Cummings 1:40:52 Like, I was just, like, doing clubs to work on the new hour.

Joe Rogan 1:40:54 Right.

Whitney Cummings 1:40:54 Like, I might as well-

Joe Rogan 1:40:54 And you're single, so it's easy.

Whitney Cummings 1:40:56 Exactly.

Joe Rogan 1:40:56 You have a kid. Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:40:57 Exactly.

Joe Rogan 1:40:57 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:40:57 And let me just stay on the East Coast, right? And, um, and let me just, like, ch- uh, do a software update. It's like- [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 1:41:03 Hmm

Whitney Cummings 1:41:03 ... Ari t- made me go on a hike for the month, and he's like: "You need to go to Somalia for a year with no phone." I was like: "I'll just... How about I get a place in New York?" [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 1:41:09 Ari's ridiculous. His ideas are so ridiculous.

Whitney Cummings 1:41:12 I'll go to Little Italy. How about that? For the-

Joe Rogan 1:41:13 She go to Tibet.

Whitney Cummings 1:41:14 [chuckles] Yeah, to- And-

Joe Rogan 1:41:16 She live in a yurt in Mongolia.

Whitney Cummings 1:41:18 And I remember, like, every time I would turn on the, um, the bathtub, the toilet would... The effluvium from the toilet would come through the bathtub. It was, like, some wild-

Joe Rogan 1:41:27 Oh!

Whitney Cummings 1:41:28 Dude, and then there was also a elevator in the building that people kick it off on your floor. So-

Joe Rogan 1:41:33 Oh, fun

Whitney Cummings 1:41:34 ... half the time, I'd be sleeping, and like a bunch of dudes would just, like, get off, you know? And um, I had this plumber come, and I was like: "Oh, can you help with the shit, the gutter going into the bath? The one thing that's relaxing is a bath, and then I'm just, like, in sewage." And he was like, "It's New York." [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 1:41:49 [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 1:41:49 And [chuckles] I was like: "No, but, like, can you fix it?" He's like, "Nah." Like, his job is just going around to people and reminding them they live in New York, and this is the deal, like-

Joe Rogan 1:41:58 There's no way to stop the fucking sewer water from going in your tub?

Whitney Cummings 1:42:00 He's like: "I could make it," but like, that's not... It's just this is... And this is part of why, like, Trump won. Like, like, infrastructure, you know, there's- pipes explode all the time because they're just hitting their limit of being, you know, 100 whatever years old. Like, um, but New York is the place you go when you kinda, you know, wanna be in a dog fight on a daily basis. You're gonna be spending more... You- every time you sit down, it's 100 bucks, you know?

Joe Rogan 1:42:23 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 1:42:23 It's- even if you get affordable housing in New York, like a bottle of water or food, like everything's expensive there.

Joe Rogan 1:42:28 Right.

Whitney Cummings 1:42:28 You know?

Joe Rogan 1:42:29 'Cause it has to be brought in.

Whitney Cummings 1:42:30 It's emotionally expensive. It's literally expensive, figuratively expensive. Like, it's, you know, I, uh, from-

Joe Rogan 1:42:34 Well, this lady's gonna reduce all that. She's gonna make everything valueless. [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 1:42:40 Like, wh- like, but why would you wanna take the va- yeah, I mean-

Joe Rogan 1:42:42 God

Whitney Cummings 1:42:42 ... there's things that are artificial value, like art and stuff like that, but land is, is a-

Joe Rogan 1:42:46 What it's probably gonna do is it's probably gonna lead to some sort of a Republican government there. There're probably gonna be a lot of backlash. People are probably gonna organize.

Whitney Cummings 1:42:55 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:42:56 Probably gonna realize that you can't have communism, and it'll go- it'll swing the other way.

Whitney Cummings 1:43:00 Hmm. 'Cause everyone's kinda leaving, right? All the people with money are leaving New York.

Joe Rogan 1:43:04 A lot of people-

Whitney Cummings 1:43:04 So, so-

Joe Rogan 1:43:05 ... leave New York.

Whitney Cummings 1:43:05 So they're saying, like, f-

Joe Rogan 1:43:06 Fucking Robert De Niro was talking about it.

Whitney Cummings 1:43:08 Whoa. He's like the king of New York.

Joe Rogan 1:43:10 Because they wanna tax his savings. I don't know if that's accurate.

Whitney Cummings 1:43:12 But also, you-

Joe Rogan 1:43:12 That might have been a, might have been a fake quote.

Whitney Cummings 1:43:14 They need to use everybody's tax dollars to pay for all this, but all, all the taxpayers are leaving, that are big money.

Joe Rogan 1:43:19 Exactly. But if they're taxing everybody... The thing is, it's like you can't just tax your way out of problems because y- we know that that money goes, and it's, it's grossly inefficient what they do with it.

Whitney Cummings 1:43:31 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:43:31 The government is not good at using your money.

Whitney Cummings 1:43:33 Mm-mm.

Joe Rogan 1:43:34 They've never been good. There's not, like, one example of the government doing an amazing job with your money. "Originated as satire." There it is. It's fake. Uh-

Whitney Cummings 1:43:44 I mean, he owns, like, hotels there. He does, like, the film festival there and everything, right?

Joe Rogan 1:43:48 De Niro?

Whitney Cummings 1:43:48 He's like... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:43:49 Oh, he loves it there, yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:43:50 He's like the guy.

Joe Rogan 1:43:51 People stand outside his house and yell at him.

Whitney Cummings 1:43:53 In New York.

Joe Rogan 1:43:54 Crazy Trump people.

Whitney Cummings 1:43:55 I mean-

Joe Rogan 1:43:55 They know where he lives, so they stand outside his house and yell at him: "Fuck you, Bobby!"

Whitney Cummings 1:43:59 Good for everyone.

Joe Rogan 1:44:00 "Trump won, Bobby, you fucking loser." [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 1:44:04 [chuckles] Every-

Joe Rogan 1:44:05 That's the crazy thing about living in New York. Somebody could just walk right up to your door. If you have one of those walk-ups-

Whitney Cummings 1:44:10 Uh-huh

Joe Rogan 1:44:10 ... knock, knock, knock.

Whitney Cummings 1:44:11 That's-

Joe Rogan 1:44:11 It's the sidewalk is in front of your house. That's what De Niro lives.

Whitney Cummings 1:44:14 [chuckles] So-

Joe Rogan 1:44:15 Let's go knock. Didn't some crazy person break into his house recently?

Whitney Cummings 1:44:19 ... an ex-wife?

Joe Rogan 1:44:20 Like a lady.

Whitney Cummings 1:44:20 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:44:21 I think, like, some crazy lady stalker-

Whitney Cummings 1:44:23 Mm, sounds about right

Joe Rogan 1:44:23 ... broke into his house when he wasn't there.

Whitney Cummings 1:44:25 Lady stalkers can really get far.

Joe Rogan 1:44:28 Mm.

Whitney Cummings 1:44:29 'Cause no one thinks that they're-

Joe Rogan 1:44:31 Dangerous

Whitney Cummings 1:44:31 ... I don't wanna talk about one too much, but there's one in my life who can just kinda-

Joe Rogan 1:44:34 Serial burglar accused of breaking into Robert De Niro's New York City townhouse went on new crime spree after release on bail. [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 1:44:42 Did they know it was Robert De Niro's house?

Joe Rogan 1:44:43 2023. Yeah. Uh, who is this person?

Whitney Cummings 1:44:46 How do they know he lived there?

Joe Rogan 1:44:47 Serial burglar, uh, Shanice Aviles was allegedly caught red-handed trying to steal Oscar-winning actor's Christmas presents. Whoa!

Whitney Cummings 1:44:57 [laughing]

Joe Rogan 1:44:57 She's the Grinch.

Whitney Cummings 1:44:59 It's just like-

Joe Rogan 1:45:00 She was released from Rikers on May 3rd. Since then, she's been charged with at least two more thefts, including one in which she allegedly snuck into a Columbia University building and slugged a security guard. [chuckles] She's a villain. [laughing]

Whitney Cummings 1:45:13 I love, like, a Christmas present marauder.

Joe Rogan 1:45:17 Well, she was charged with stealing $416 worth of merchandise from a TJ Maxx on 6th Avenue.

Whitney Cummings 1:45:23 You can get a lot for that amount.

Joe Rogan 1:45:24 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:45:25 A TJ Maxx.

Joe Rogan 1:45:26 Uh. [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 1:45:27 That's, like, most of the store.

Joe Rogan 1:45:28 She was busted again. Let me see her face. Let see if I can see cra- yep, crazy.

Whitney Cummings 1:45:32 Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:45:32 Look at her eyebrows!

Whitney Cummings 1:45:33 Are those shaved, or her face-

Joe Rogan 1:45:33 Look at your face

Whitney Cummings 1:45:34 ... Oh, babe.

Joe Rogan 1:45:34 "Yeah, you got me."

Whitney Cummings 1:45:36 Oh, damn.

Joe Rogan 1:45:36 "Whatever."

Whitney Cummings 1:45:37 Oh, damn.

Joe Rogan 1:45:37 "Whatever." Uh, poor Robert. [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 1:45:41 I mean, like, what i- like, if you're stealing Robert De Niro's Christmas presents-

Joe Rogan 1:45:44 Because-

Whitney Cummings 1:45:44 ... like, what's she gonna do with an Oura Ring?

Joe Rogan 1:45:46 Look at that. [chuckles] Just go, security guard patrolling the building around 6:30 PM spotted tools sitting near an open window that should have been locked shut, then found Aviles inside the building-

Whitney Cummings 1:45:56 So she used tools to-

Joe Rogan 1:45:57 ... filling up her bag with various items, according to a criminal complaint. Yeah, she used tools, broke into the house. Bro, get a fucking dog. Get a Belgian Malinois dog.

Whitney Cummings 1:46:06 Oh, dude.

Joe Rogan 1:46:06 Get a meat missile.

Whitney Cummings 1:46:07 People not having dogs, like, what are you doing, man? I don't know how to convince pe-... I mean, yeah, I never have problems like that. I leave all my doors unlocked.

Joe Rogan 1:46:15 Well, I wouldn't do that.

Whitney Cummings 1:46:15 I'm like, "I wish a motherfucker would." [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 1:46:17 Whoa! [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 1:46:18 I mean, I, I have large dogs.

Joe Rogan 1:46:21 Yeah, but still.

Whitney Cummings 1:46:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:46:23 You can shoot your dogs pretty easy.

Whitney Cummings 1:46:24 And then, so your new dog, was Marshall, like, instantly, like-

Joe Rogan 1:46:27 Loved him.

Whitney Cummings 1:46:27 Oh, of course!

Joe Rogan 1:46:29 They're buddies. They're best friends.

Whitney Cummings 1:46:30 Good for you.

Joe Rogan 1:46:30 So the new dog's also, like, a little anti-wolf. They've, they've taken wolves and turned them into these cute, cuddly, little things you can carry around with you.

Whitney Cummings 1:46:38 When I look at that, that to me is like ... I feel like humans, we're kind of like, "This is never gonna change," but things do change fast sometimes. Like, you know, like smoking. I remember when I first moved to LA, people were smoking inside, and then I remember people going outside to smoke.

Joe Rogan 1:46:56 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 1:46:56 Like, it just, you know, in our lifetime-

Joe Rogan 1:46:58 Yeah

Whitney Cummings 1:46:58 ... we, like, watched, like, a huge change. Like, huge-

Joe Rogan 1:47:00 They banned smoking in bars.

Whitney Cummings 1:47:02 Yeah, huge cataclysmic changes, like, can happen, you know? Um, but-

Joe Rogan 1:47:06 But that's just because the people that were working in the bars were getting fucking cancer.

Whitney Cummings 1:47:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:47:10 So if the thing is like, "I wanna be able to smoke in a bar"-

Whitney Cummings 1:47:13 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:47:13 ... that's great, but what about the poor waitress?

Whitney Cummings 1:47:15 That's right, the secondhand, right.

Joe Rogan 1:47:16 This lady who just wants to make a living-

Whitney Cummings 1:47:18 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 1:47:18 ... and doesn't even smoke-

Whitney Cummings 1:47:19 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 1:47:19 ... now she has lung cancer. That's crazy.

Whitney Cummings 1:47:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:47:21 So that, that is a, that's a liability for the organization, for the city.

Whitney Cummings 1:47:26 Totally.

Joe Rogan 1:47:26 It's bad for everybody.

Whitney Cummings 1:47:27 Yeah, and pregnant women-

Joe Rogan 1:47:28 Go outside

Whitney Cummings 1:47:28 ... can't come drink at the bar.

Joe Rogan 1:47:29 Right, go outside.

Whitney Cummings 1:47:30 Um, and-

Joe Rogan 1:47:30 But you can't drink if you're a pregnant woman anyways.

Whitney Cummings 1:47:32 I know, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

Joe Rogan 1:47:33 It's crazy.

Whitney Cummings 1:47:33 What? Now you tell-

Joe Rogan 1:47:34 [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 1:47:34 Ah! Damn it, Joe.

Joe Rogan 1:47:35 Shit.

Whitney Cummings 1:47:35 But also, um-

Joe Rogan 1:47:36 You can get a hep B shot.

Whitney Cummings 1:47:37 I am [tsks] I'm obsessed, uh, with the things that, uh, used- are so dangerous that used to just, like, be places, like, um, in shoe stores, they used to have little X-ray machines, and a lot-

Joe Rogan 1:47:47 In shoe stores?

Whitney Cummings 1:47:48 Yep, and the lo- and people started getting foot cancer that worked there, 'cause all day they just put their foot in the X-ray machine.

Joe Rogan 1:47:52 What?

Whitney Cummings 1:47:53 'Cause that's how they used to ... I remember, 'cause there was a shoe store, uh, where my mom lived, and it had, like, an old antique one, like-

Joe Rogan 1:48:00 An old antique X-ray machine?

Whitney Cummings 1:48:01 ... antique one. It was a little X-ray machine.

Joe Rogan 1:48:03 That's crazy!

Whitney Cummings 1:48:04 Crazy. And if you're working there and you're bored-

Joe Rogan 1:48:06 Oh, my God

Whitney Cummings 1:48:06 ... and you're just sticking your foot in it all day.

Joe Rogan 1:48:08 That's nuts.

Whitney Cummings 1:48:09 Crazy.

Joe Rogan 1:48:09 I never knew that.

Whitney Cummings 1:48:11 That's how they would take your foot size. [laughing]

Joe Rogan 1:48:15 [chuckles] Isn't it nuts how, like, new technology, they have no idea it's killing people?

Whitney Cummings 1:48:18 No clue.

Joe Rogan 1:48:19 Do you know about the Radium Girls?

Whitney Cummings 1:48:21 Uh, it's ... Love it already.

Joe Rogan 1:48:23 Oh, this is a horrible story. So when you have a watch, like, um, [tsks] you know, like a Rolex, and it's, at night you could see its lume.

Whitney Cummings 1:48:33 Sure.

Joe Rogan 1:48:33 So during the daytime, it charges up in the light, and at night, you can see the indicators.

Whitney Cummings 1:48:38 Mm.

Joe Rogan 1:48:38 They light up. They glow in the dark.

Whitney Cummings 1:48:40 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:48:40 The reason they glow in the dark is because they're fucking radioactive.

Whitney Cummings 1:48:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:48:44 So they paint- not now, I don't think, but they paint them.

Whitney Cummings 1:48:46 [gasps] Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:48:47 And so these girls were touching the tips of this fucking paintbrush when they were painting lume on these dials-

Whitney Cummings 1:48:53 Nah

Joe Rogan 1:48:54 ... and they were all getting horrific cancer, where they were getting holes in their face.

Whitney Cummings 1:48:58 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:48:58 See if you can find some of the images. [snaps]

Whitney Cummings 1:49:00 Oh, bummer.

Joe Rogan 1:49:00 That's not... Well, there's some images of a radium sickness.

Whitney Cummings 1:49:05 Are these just your porn searches, Jamie?

Joe Rogan 1:49:07 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:49:07 We're looking for the uranium girls.

Joe Rogan 1:49:08 Like, look, these are the Radium Girls. That's what I looked up.

Whitney Cummings 1:49:09 Bummer!

Joe Rogan 1:49:11 That's what all this is. Radium Girls is like... I think there's a documentary. Yeah, there i-

Whitney Cummings 1:49:15 There's a book.

Joe Rogan 1:49:15 No, there's a, a movie from 2020.

Whitney Cummings 1:49:17 Yeah, 'cause that's Joey-

Joe Rogan 1:49:18 The dark story of America's shining women. Oh.

Whitney Cummings 1:49:21 Ugh!

Joe Rogan 1:49:22 That's like-

Whitney Cummings 1:49:22 Well, it's like all kinds of stuff like this, like, um, wh- uh, Christopher Reeve's wife got lung cancer from his machine.

Joe Rogan 1:49:28 Oh, God.

Whitney Cummings 1:49:29 I know. [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 1:49:30 Really?

Whitney Cummings 1:49:31 Yeah, that kind of stuff kills me. I, I, always-

Joe Rogan 1:49:33 Oh, my God

Whitney Cummings 1:49:33 ... I always think about nail girls, the girls that are in there doing acrylic nails.

Joe Rogan 1:49:37 Oh, yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:49:38 Like, what is- you're just inhaling this all day.

Joe Rogan 1:49:39 I know, and they wear, like, a fucking mask, like a surgeon's mask. Like, hey, that's-

Whitney Cummings 1:49:43 That's just so they can talk shit about us, but yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:49:44 Nah.

Whitney Cummings 1:49:45 But it's-

Joe Rogan 1:49:45 But that surgeon's mask is not gonna help you from the-

Whitney Cummings 1:49:48 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 1:49:48 ... fucking fumes.

Whitney Cummings 1:49:48 Yeah, I mean-

Joe Rogan 1:49:49 People that work around toxic chemicals... I was reading this thing about women that clean.

Whitney Cummings 1:49:54 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:49:54 That women that work with cleaning solvents all day-

Whitney Cummings 1:49:57 Yep, yep

Joe Rogan 1:49:57 ... they get lung cancer, and it's like they're smoking three packs a day.

Whitney Cummings 1:50:00 Totally. Like, my, the woman that's, uh, been with me, um, she's like my family, um, who helps me maintain my house, it's all- we make it, it's all clean, you know, like, not am- ammonia and stuff.

Joe Rogan 1:50:10 Organic stuff.

Whitney Cummings 1:50:11 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:50:11 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:50:11 It's, like, vinegar and-

Joe Rogan 1:50:12 Well, you should just have that in your house anyway.

Whitney Cummings 1:50:14 Tea tree and stuff, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:50:15 I mean, if not, if it's not you cleaning, you don't want that shit in your fucking house, period.

Whitney Cummings 1:50:20 Yeah, but then, like, as women, then we like to spray our hair and put a bunch of makeup on, you know?

Joe Rogan 1:50:24 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:50:25 We're all high at all times.

Joe Rogan 1:50:26 Uh.

Whitney Cummings 1:50:26 Just chock-full of chemicals. Like, it's so wild you think about the amount of endocrine disruptors we put on a daily basis, but-

Joe Rogan 1:50:31 Pumping botulism into your face to keep it from moving.

Whitney Cummings 1:50:34 You know what? I don't do it anymore.

Joe Rogan 1:50:35 Ah, congratulations on your eyebrows.

Whitney Cummings 1:50:37 I- [laughing]

Joe Rogan 1:50:39 Your forehead moves.... your eyebrows have been freed. [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 1:50:42 [chuckles] It really is. My hairline went back. Well, my-

Joe Rogan 1:50:45 Well, you said you've been doing the red light. Red light is the key.

Whitney Cummings 1:50:48 Yep.

Joe Rogan 1:50:48 Like, red light, it brings collagen to your skin. It gives your skin a more youthful appearance. It, it, like, helps your entire body heal better.

Whitney Cummings 1:50:57 Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:50:57 It, it, it helps your mitochondria. But we, we were talking about this before the podcast. For both of us, it's improved our vision.

Whitney Cummings 1:51:03 That's right.

Joe Rogan 1:51:03 It really has.

Whitney Cummings 1:51:04 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:51:04 Like, my vision was on a downward, like, very steady... Like, I have these things here, these reading glasses. I don't use those at all anymore.

Whitney Cummings 1:51:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:51:12 I can completely read my phone now with no reading glasses, and before it was a blurry mess.

Whitney Cummings 1:51:17 Also, by the way, everyone I know with kids, like, their-- and I'll be exaggerating a little bit, but their kids are getting glasses so young and having eye stuff so young, and I'm like-

Joe Rogan 1:51:27 They're staring at screens all the time. You know, one of the things that you're supposed to do is, if you're staring at something, like, really close to your face all the time, you should take breaks and look at things that are far away.

Whitney Cummings 1:51:37 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:51:38 Because otherwise, I guess your cornea reshapes, and, and, like, your eyes literally become more accustomed to trying to look at things closer.

Whitney Cummings 1:51:45 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:51:45 It just fucks your eyes up.

Whitney Cummings 1:51:46 Right. Right.

Joe Rogan 1:51:47 And then the sc- the, the light from the screen, that can't be good.

Whitney Cummings 1:51:50 It's crazy. I know. I try to do the blue light glasses as, like, much as I can. The amount of glasses and lights I have, like, [chuckles] in my house right now-

Joe Rogan 1:51:56 [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 1:51:56 ... just looks like a fucking chemistry studio. But yes, I got-- So I do, uh, red light on my skin, and... 'Cause I was like, you know, look, the Botox thing is, like, uh, a TV executive ages ago, when I was truly, like, in my 20s-

Joe Rogan 1:52:08 Mm-hmm

Whitney Cummings 1:52:08 ... the way they sell you on Botox is they say it's preventative.

Joe Rogan 1:52:12 Mm.

Whitney Cummings 1:52:12 And you go, "Oh, yeah. Okay."

Joe Rogan 1:52:13 In your 20s, they were telling you to do it?

Whitney Cummings 1:52:14 In my-- I was, like, 27. I-

Joe Rogan 1:52:16 Yo!

Whitney Cummings 1:52:17 I was, like, do- making a TV show, a couple TV shows this, and they were like: "Well, she looks tired." I'm like: "Yeah, 'cause I'm tired."

Joe Rogan 1:52:21 [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 1:52:22 " 'Cause you keep sending me notes at 2:00 in the morning to take out all the good jokes. Like, of course, I'm tired."

Joe Rogan 1:52:26 Oh!

Whitney Cummings 1:52:27 Um, and so, uh, you know, I-- they say to do it, uh, uh, so that you don't get wrinkles later.

Joe Rogan 1:52:34 Mm.

Whitney Cummings 1:52:34 And then you're like: "Okay, well, now I'm 35. Like, why am I still getting it? Like, shouldn't I enjoy the prevention now?" Like, it just sort of becomes a do this forever, and I was like, "I don't even know who I'm doing this for at this point." You know, I just, uh, w- was like, I guess I can-

Joe Rogan 1:52:48 Especially if you just wanna be a comic, and you don't wanna be cast in TV roles anymore-

Whitney Cummings 1:52:52 Yeah, but also-

Joe Rogan 1:52:53 or movie roles

Whitney Cummings 1:52:53 ... even in TV roles, you can't act if you don't have expression on your face.

Joe Rogan 1:52:57 Right.

Whitney Cummings 1:52:57 That's the whole thing.

Joe Rogan 1:52:58 Right.

Whitney Cummings 1:52:58 You know, we've all seen actors where we're like, "I..." You just see one teardrop go down, and-

Joe Rogan 1:53:02 There you go. I'm right here.

Whitney Cummings 1:53:03 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:53:04 Bro-

Whitney Cummings 1:53:04 You know, Brotox, the rise of Brotox.

Joe Rogan 1:53:06 Brotox is weird. I shouldn't, but I do. I judge men very badly when I thi- think they have Botox. When I see a man's face doesn't move-

Whitney Cummings 1:53:15 Mm

Joe Rogan 1:53:15 ... I'm like: I am not listening to anything coming out of your mouth.

Whitney Cummings 1:53:19 Especially when it's hot on a guy. Why not enjoy the benefit of age looking good on a man?

Joe Rogan 1:53:26 Yeah, because a certain amount of age, they're like: "Oh, my God, I'm so old." When you get to, like, that Stallone age... Like, he was at the White House-

Whitney Cummings 1:53:33 Mm

Joe Rogan 1:53:34 ... receiving some fucking award.

Whitney Cummings 1:53:36 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:53:36 You know, there was a bunch of guys that went to the White House and got awards. Did you ever see that?

Whitney Cummings 1:53:39 [chuckles] Sorry. Award-

Joe Rogan 1:53:41 You know the awards?

Whitney Cummings 1:53:42 Awards are so silly, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:53:43 You stand there, and they, they, they-

Whitney Cummings 1:53:44 [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 1:53:44 ... put it around your neck, and you're like: "Yep, I deserve this."

Whitney Cummings 1:53:46 [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 1:53:46 But then Stallone is there, and it looks so crazy. Like-

Whitney Cummings 1:53:51 It's like Schiller

Joe Rogan 1:53:51 ... he used to be my canary in a coal mine, 'cause I'm like: Wow, you could be 70 and be jacked?

Whitney Cummings 1:53:55 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:53:56 Like, this is awesome, you know? Because, like, he kept it together for a long fucking time.

Whitney Cummings 1:54:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:54:01 Like, he was in great shape for a long time, but now he looks, looks like he's just doing a bunch of stuff.

Whitney Cummings 1:54:08 I think, uh, even-

Joe Rogan 1:54:09 Like, look at him there. That's crazy.

Whitney Cummings 1:54:11 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:54:11 First of all, that hairline is crazy. That's crazy.

Whitney Cummings 1:54:14 This whole lineup of people are as batshit. Can you print this out, so I can just put it in my bathroom to just test-

Joe Rogan 1:54:19 Is that Pacino? Who's the guy on the left?

Whitney Cummings 1:54:22 We should know the answer.

Speaker 1:54:24 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 1:54:24 No.

Whitney Cummings 1:54:24 Is that Gene Simmons?

Joe Rogan 1:54:25 Yeah.

Whitney Cummings 1:54:25 The woman? Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:54:26 No, Gene Simmons is there. [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 1:54:28 Who's... Is this the trans, the trans? [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 1:54:30 Stallone's 70-

Whitney Cummings 1:54:31 Abacus group

Joe Rogan 1:54:32 ... he's 79 years old.

Whitney Cummings 1:54:34 Let me see. Well, that was his wife, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:54:38 Yeah, but it's just like-

Whitney Cummings 1:54:39 Uh.

Joe Rogan 1:54:39 So who's there? Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons.

Whitney Cummings 1:54:42 What was-

Joe Rogan 1:54:42 And Stallone, and who's the guy in the back on the far right?

Whitney Cummings 1:54:45 Are these the Benjamin Button Awards? Like, what is the actual award?

Joe Rogan 1:54:48 Who's the guy on the far right?

Speaker 1:54:49 Trying to see where the list is. Does it show a list?

Whitney Cummings 1:54:51 Uh.

Joe Rogan 1:54:52 It doesn't say?

Speaker 1:54:53 Uh, there you go. One.

Joe Rogan 1:54:55 Oh, Michael Crawford-

Speaker 1:54:56 Michael Crawford

Joe Rogan 1:54:56 ... whoever that is.

Speaker 1:54:57 Gainer.

Whitney Cummings 1:54:58 Uh.

Speaker 1:54:58 Dan Rocker.

Joe Rogan 1:54:59 I'm sure he's been in a bunch of stuff I enjoy-

Whitney Cummings 1:55:00 Oh, Gary Gainer

Joe Rogan 1:55:01 ... just don't know his name.

Whitney Cummings 1:55:02 Like entertainers.

Joe Rogan 1:55:03 Yeah, okay. So they all got a big award, but it's just the way Stallone looked. It was like: God, what are you doing, man?

Whitney Cummings 1:55:09 The, uh... It looks like a facelift 'cause-

Joe Rogan 1:55:12 Is it Trump Kennedy Center? Oh.

Whitney Cummings 1:55:15 Oh, yeah, sure.

Joe Rogan 1:55:16 So he, [exhales] he was acknowledging his '80s heroes with awards. "I used to like you in the '80s." [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 1:55:22 But by the way, just ask them to go to dinner. Like, how insecure that you have to, like, give an award. Like, there was... What was it? Was it Cosby that Harvard, like, gave him a fake award just to see if he would show up, and he showed up?

Joe Rogan 1:55:34 Oh, really?

Whitney Cummings 1:55:34 Like, how narcissists will just show up to accept, like, greatest comedy person of ever.

Joe Rogan 1:55:39 [chuckles]

Whitney Cummings 1:55:39 And he, like, showed up and accepted it, and they didn't re- and they had to, like, get him from the airport. They were like: "Fuck, this was, like, a joke."

Joe Rogan 1:55:45 Really?

Whitney Cummings 1:55:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:55:46 Are you sure?

Whitney Cummings 1:55:48 Jamie?

Joe Rogan 1:55:48 I don't know anything about that. They have a fake award?

Whitney Cummings 1:55:50 Go to Blue Sky.

Joe Rogan 1:55:51 Go to Blue Sky, look it up.

Whitney Cummings 1:55:52 They, like, the Hasty Pudding or whatever Harvard's comedy troupe is-

Joe Rogan 1:55:57 Oh, they did it?

Whitney Cummings 1:55:58 ... did, like, a prank where they'll give celebrities awards.

Joe Rogan 1:56:02 Just to see if they show up?

Whitney Cummings 1:56:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:56:03 Oh, that's funny.

Whitney Cummings 1:56:03 And Cosby showed up. [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 1:56:04 That's actually funny. Conan and his friend... Oh, okay, Conan O'Brien convinced Cosby that he was awarded fake, the Harvard Lampoon's Lifetime Achievement in Comedy to be presented at Harvard.

Whitney Cummings 1:56:14 [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 1:56:14 Bill Cosby actually flew all the way in a private plane to be picked up by Conan in his parents' station wagon. A modified bowling trophy was given as an award.

Whitney Cummings 1:56:23 Oh! [chuckles]

Joe Rogan 1:56:24 Oh, boy.

Speaker 1:56:25 That's not a smaller photo. It looks like from the '80s.

Whitney Cummings 1:56:26 Like, he showed up to get it.

Joe Rogan 1:56:28 Yeah. That's hilarious.

Whitney Cummings 1:56:28 Imagine.

Joe Rogan 1:56:29 That is hilarious.

Whitney Cummings 1:56:30 Imagine.

Joe Rogan 1:56:31 So that was Conan when he was in Harvard?

Whitney Cummings 1:56:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:56:33 Oh, that's so funny.

Whitney Cummings 1:56:34 That's-

Joe Rogan 1:56:34 There's so many funny writers came out of Harvard.

Whitney Cummings 1:56:36 Out of Harvard, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:56:37 The Harvard Lampoon?

Whitney Cummings 1:56:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:56:38 It's kinda crazy.

Whitney Cummings 1:56:39 It's kinda crazy. I mean, it's interesting because they've, they've, uh, you know, uh, not to just, like, talk about TV dorkery, but, and I know a lot of them. We're friends with a lot of them, but, like, there was a little bit of, like, a, um, elitism. I think it's part of what made TV start becoming kind of irrelevant, is these sort of, like, elite writers from Harvard who don't necessarily have a, you know, um-... I think that the best comedy, everyone can see themselves in it, or it's about something that we can all kind of relate to on some level.

Joe Rogan 1:57:04 Mm-hmm.

Whitney Cummings 1:57:04 That's all these sort of kids going to a, you know, $70,000-a-year elite school, making shows like The Office and show- you know, these-

Joe Rogan 1:57:11 Uh-huh

Whitney Cummings 1:57:12 ... comedies that, you know, you know, look, like, it's, it's [chuckles] a lot of my friends worked on The Office. I love you guys. This is gonna get me in trouble, but it is kinda like making fun of poor people. It's like, [chuckles] -

Joe Rogan 1:57:22 The Office?

Whitney Cummings 1:57:22 "Wouldn't it be funny if people, like, worked at a paper mill and, like, went to Chili's? Like, what a bunch of losers." [laughs] It's like my family members, like, go to Chili's.

Speaker 1:57:30 That's, that is a real photo. That's Conan right there. He was 19 when this happened.

Whitney Cummings 1:57:32 [laughing]

Joe Rogan 1:57:33 [laughing] [clapping]

Whitney Cummings 1:57:37 Like, they had to, like, scramble to pick him up?

Joe Rogan 1:57:39 That's-

Speaker 1:57:39 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:57:39 ... actually amazing.

Speaker 1:57:40 He was talking about on a podcast, I think. That's why I just found that.

Joe Rogan 1:57:43 That's actually amazing-

Whitney Cummings 1:57:44 [laughing]

Joe Rogan 1:57:44 ... that he did that. That's actually amazing.

Whitney Cummings 1:57:46 Like, that is... I love the little things, where when you find out someone was a sociopathic monster, that you're like, "We should've known," even though it had nothing to do with drugging women, like the fact that he showed up to receive this award, like-

Joe Rogan 1:57:56 Well, actually, the Harvard Lampoon is, like, a famous comedy thing.

Whitney Cummings 1:58:00 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:58:00 So it would make sense that they would give him a, an award.

Whitney Cummings 1:58:02 That's true. That's true.