Joe Rogan Experience #2446 - Greg Fitzsimmons

Greg Fitzsimmons is a comedian, actor, and writer, host of “Fitzdog Radio,” and co-host of “Sunday Papers” and “Childish.” He will be touring in 2026. https://www.youtube.com/@GregFitzsimmonsComedy https://www.sundaypapers.net https://www.childishpod.com https://www.gregfitzsimmons.com Perplexity: Download the app or ask Perplexity anything at https://pplx.ai/rogan.

Joe RoganhostGreg Fitzsimmonsguest

Jan 31, 20262h 37mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

150 min read · 30,003 words

0:00 – 0:02
Intro
1. JRJoe Rogan
  [upbeat music]
0:02 – 0:25
Alpha Brain cold open & doomscrolling anxiety
1. JRJoe Rogan
  Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!
2. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  The Joe Rogan Experience.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  [upbeat music] Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. [upbeat music]
4. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, Alpha Brain?
5. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah, just took some Alpha Brain-
6. JRJoe Rogan
  Yep
7. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  ... so I'm gonna be fucking sharp.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  I've got this stuff, too, if you want it. It's an energy drink that also has nootropics in it.
9. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Oh, yeah?
10. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah. Good stuff.
11. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Gregory!
13. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Joseph.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  Good to see you, my friend.
15. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Good to see you, man.
0:25 – 1:31
Dunbar’s number and why modern news breaks our brains
1. JRJoe Rogan
  The world's on fire.
2. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  World is on fire.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  It's a good time for you to come in. Woo!
4. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  I mean, I literally, uh... I mean, talk about being addicted to your scroll. I gotta really put the fucking phone down sometimes.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  I know, yeah. It's not good.
6. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  No.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  It's not good for your brain to see all the problems of the world all piling- and everything looks like it's about to blow up.
8. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  Iran looks like it's about to blow up. They're talking about going into Cuba.
10. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  Don Lemon went to jail.
12. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  [laughing]
13. JRJoe Rogan
  It's like, it's all crazy. [laughing] It's, it's like, what's next?
14. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Well, you know, when jail gives you lemons... Um, it, and it's also like, what, what's that whole theory about we're only supposed to be exposed to, like, 200 people in our life?
15. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, uh, Dunbar's number.
16. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
18. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Right.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, it's... You only can keep that many people in your head.
20. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  But you should only know about that many divorces, and that much cheating, and that much killing as would happen within 200.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  And crime, and fill in the blank.
22. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Right.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  You know, fraud, waste, abuse, international politics, restrictions on speech in England, like-
24. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
1:31 – 3:11
UK property squatting case and speech policing in England
1. JRJoe Rogan
  Did you see this fucking crazy story? This guy in England, uh, an illegal alien, was a squatter in his house. The court ruled that because he didn't live in the house, the guy didn't live in the house, it was an empty house, they gave him the house.
2. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Uh-huh.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  They gave the squatter the house. The squatter sold it for 540 grand.
4. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  [laughing]
5. JRJoe Rogan
  The squatter sold his house. Took his house 'cause he was living in it, and this was, guy was, like, a pensioner.
6. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  He was just a guy who had, like, an extra house, like a fucking investment property.
8. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  You're right.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  And this guy moved into it.
10. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  Have you seen it, Jamie?
12. SPSpeaker
  I'm seeing something from a year ago?
13. JRJoe Rogan
  I don't know. Somebody sent it to me today.
14. SPSpeaker
  Okay.
15. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  They had that in New York, uh, back in the '70s and '80s. There was a lot of empty units, like, down on the Lower East Side, like Tompkins Square Park area, there was a lot of squatting.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, this is it. [laughing] "Squatter moved into the pensioner's empty home, then won the legal right to keep it and sold the house for 500..." I guess 540, uh... Is that euros or pounds? Is that pounds? What's that weird-
17. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Pounds, yeah. England has pounds still.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  That's fucking crazy. [laughing] That is so crazy!
19. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh. England has lost its fucking mind.
21. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  It's almost like they want people to either revolt or completely submit. It's one or the other. It's like you're either begging for a revolution or you're begging for people to completely submit.
23. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Mm-hmm.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  They've arrested 12,000 people this year for social media posts.
25. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Oh, that's right.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  And most of it is criticizing immigration.
27. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  Just criticizing immigration.
29. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  Just saying-
3:11 – 5:42
TikTok censorship, coded language, and the ‘Epstein’ filter
1. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Well, TikTok is now not allowing people to post anything that is anti-ICE.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Not the- not just that. You can't post the juice box emoji.
3. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  What's that?
4. JRJoe Rogan
  'Cause it's k- uh, code for Jews.
5. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  [laughing]
6. JRJoe Rogan
  'Cause people were using it, 'cause they were, they were blocking content where they were criticizing Israel.
7. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Wait, why is the juice box Jews?
8. JRJoe Rogan
  I don't know.
9. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Oh, juice-
10. JRJoe Rogan
  Juice
11. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  ... juice box.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Juice. [laughing]
13. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  [laughing]
14. JRJoe Rogan
  It is funny.
15. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Ah.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  But did they block the use... This is, somebody sent me this. I haven't verified this. Did they block the use of the word Epstein?
17. SPSpeaker
  I saw... I mean, I saw... I don't- I'm not on the app, but I saw a video of someone, like, trying, you know-
18. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah
19. SPSpeaker
  ... posting it or whatever-
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Let's run that through Perplexity
21. SPSpeaker
  ... and ask if it's blocked or not.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  See if Perplexity will rat out TikTok. [laughing]
23. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  [laughing] Right, 'cause that's, um-
24. JRJoe Rogan
  It's so crazy that they would do it, 'cause they just purchased it, right? So it was just purchased by, um, some... What, what is the group? Is it, did Larry Ellison's group purchase it?
25. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yes.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  Okay. Which is a tremendous supporter of Netanyahu in Israel.
27. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Right.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  So, yeah.
29. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  There you go.
5:42 – 10:08
Free speech online: curation, anonymity, and whistleblowers
1. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Well, what is that... I mean, what's your big-picture take on whether or not [sniffs] social media platforms, which are privately owned, have responsibility that, say, regular broadcast networks would have, in terms of not censoring things?
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, regular broadcast's problem is they censor things.
3. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Right.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  They don't just report on the news, they report on what they decide they're gonna report on. Like, uh, if- it's a CNN hourly news segment, they have no responsibility to tell you about any particular story.
5. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Mm-hmm.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  None. Zero.
7. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  So they'll wait-... till something becomes, like, unmanageable before they'll start talking about it.
9. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Right.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  So something, like, starts getting traction on social media, like some sort of a corruption scandal, if it's a left-wing scandal, they can ignore it.
11. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Right.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  And they have no obligation to- it's not like we have to tell you about these very cred-
13. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Right.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  It's not like, you know, we ran it through AI, there's 20 things that the American public has to know about. So they censor, or at least they curate the content.
15. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  I think for social media platforms, if Elon Musk didn't buy Twitter, we would be fucked, because there would be no place where you could say whatever you want, even heinous things, right?
17. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  But if someone says heinous things, you can block them and not interact with them.
19. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Mm-hmm.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  And you can let other people tear them down and tear them apart, and that's how it's supposed to be. It's supposed to be... You don't counter hate speech with censorship, you counter it with better speech.
21. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Right.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  You- and you appeal to rational people and, and sensible people that go, "This is why this guy is wrong. This is why racism is wrong. This is why rash generalizations are wrong. This is why it's wrong."
23. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  And that's how you're supposed to do it. It's supposed to be a free speech town hall platform.
25. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Mm-hmm.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  It's supposed to be like the town square, where everybody can get together and talk about ideas, and that's how it should be.
27. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Right.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  And there's been a lot of calls that say that you shouldn't be able to be anonymous on social media, that you should have consequences for your actions. The problem with that is, then you lose all your whistleblowers, right? All the whistleblowers that are talking about giant corporations that are doing horrible things to the environment secretly in other countries, which we find out about all the time.
29. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Mm-hmm.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  Like the Steven Donziger case, where that guy got arrested, uh, but he w- he was, uh, prosecuted. W- was it Exxon, the Donziger case? But it's like whistleblowers are important.
10:08 – 17:28
Crime, corruption, and Vegas: mob roots, nuclear ‘bomb parties,’ and bodies in Lake Mead
1. JRJoe Rogan
  It's like the FBI just arrested... They just had a giant sweep on gangs in this country today.
2. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  They just released that they found, like, I think it was 10 t- kilos of drugs. They arrested 50 people-
4. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Like cartel gangs?
5. JRJoe Rogan
  Cartels in, in America.
6. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  And so they made a giant arrest today.
8. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  I think they arrested 200... So you can find what that story is. But, like, imagine if you were in the FBI office, and you heard about an imminent attack, and you printed something. Like, if you're a, a reporter and you're covering this stuff, and you have access to this information somehow-
10. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah
11. JRJoe Rogan
  ... and it gets released, and these guys find out about it, and they s-
12. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Mm-hmm
13. JRJoe Rogan
  ... they skate. They nabbed-
14. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Latin Kings
15. JRJoe Rogan
  ... 50 Latin Kings in Operation Broken Crown after a thir- three-month sweep, uh, sweep. So what is the details of it? Okay, last three months, the FBI's quietly executed-
16. SPSpeaker
  Sorry, I have about a tomorrow.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  Okay, um, this is on X. Uh, quietly executed Operation Broken Crown, a sweeping, violent gang takedown involving 13 field offices targeting the Latin Kings gangs. Members which, uh, were publicly threatening law enforcement officers, 50 arrests, $200,000 in seized assets, seizure of 10 kilos of illicit narcotics. Interesting. Interesting. Well, so, like, that kind of a situation, y- you can't have access to that information before they do it. That has to be very tight-lipped, you know? But there's, there's only a few of those kind of scenarios that I can imagine. But when it comes to, like, politicians and backdoor deals, like, there should be live c- footage of it. It should be live-streamed.
18. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Well, you, you only found out about the bomb- the illegal bombings in Cambodia because there was a whistleblower inside of the Pentagon.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  Exactly. Exactly.
20. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  So it does-
21. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah
22. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  ... you do need some access.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, but it's like, well, you need whistleblowers, right?
24. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Right.
25. JRJoe Rogan
  But it's like, how many pe- there's... Here's the thing about, like, intelligence agencies and g- there's a lot of good people that are working there. It's like we judge them based on the evil people that are probably the ones with the most power, you know?
26. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yes.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  ... there's probably a lot of, like, mid-level people working at the Pentagon, working at the CIA, working everywhere, that are good people.
28. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Oh, are you kidding me? These are people that have dedicated their lives to trying to... You know, I, I believe- I'm s- same way with cops.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  Yes.
30. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  I think, you know, I got, I got three good buddies that are cops, and they are absolutely went into it the same the way a social worker goes into it.
17:28 – 22:47
MacArthur Park sonar search halted & media using AI-enhanced images
1. JRJoe Rogan
  As f- as of last r- latest reporting, at least six separate discoveries of human remains, yeah, were made in Lake Mead in 2022 as the water level dropped, repr- representing at least several different individuals. Wow. Um, find out that thing where they stopped, uh, searching for guns in bodies. I think it was in MacArthur Park, and why they did that.
2. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  David Talback, in his insomniac days, he used to hang, he hang out... hung out with some dark motherfuckers in New York.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, yeah.
4. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  And he used to bring this guy in who was a... He was a New York City cop, and they basically said, "We'll double your pay and give you early retirement if you put on a frog suit every night, and you go out into..." I think it was Flushing Bay, one of the bays out in Queens, which was a famous place where the mob was dropping bodies. And, uh, the guy would go into the water in a frog suit, and he'd wait by this bridge, and when they'd drop a body-
5. JRJoe Rogan
  ... he'd [laughs] fucking call it in, and he did that the night shift. And he'd finish that, and he'd come into the Comedy Cellar at, like, 4:00 a.m.-
6. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  So he'd went in the ocean-
7. JRJoe Rogan
  -and he'd go drink with-
8. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  ... in a scuba suit?
9. JRJoe Rogan
  In a, in a bag.
10. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  For them to drop a body?
11. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah. [laughing]
12. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Holy shit! They were dropping that many bodies.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  Yes, yes.
14. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  That you can just wait for them. Bloop, bloop. [laughing]
15. JRJoe Rogan
  [laughing]
16. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  That's so crazy. It's just so-
17. JRJoe Rogan
  Search for MacArthur Park for guns and possible bodies was stopped because authorities said it was an unpermitted and potentially unsafe operation on city park property. [lips smack] Uh, okay, so it was a businessman, so it was a private thing, so that's probably what it was. So officials- official reasons given: "Organizers led by businessman John..." uh, I don't know how to spell his name. A-L-L-E. How do you say that? Alle? Alle? Uh, "planned to use sonar and remotely operated vehicles to look for weapons and human remains in the lake. Los Angeles Park Rangers halted the effort before the sonar entered the water, saying the team did not have the required permits or clearances." Okay, why didn't you guys do that, though? If you really think... If this guy really thinks that there could be bodies and guns in the lake, why wouldn't you guys search for bodies and guns if someone could search for it?
18. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Right.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  F- it seems like there's probably a lot of people missing, a lot of crimes that could be solved, a lot of resources that have already been spent on cases. You could probably get to the bottom of a lot of things. [sniffs] Uh, A- Alle, Alle, I don't know how to say his name, uh, said families of missing people, some of whom were last seen near MacArthur Park, had reached out to him for help, which inspired the idea of a large-scale sonar search of the lake. "There is, there's evidence down there for crimes," he said. "We'll identify it with photography, and the city will have to extract it."
20. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  It also could be, these are homeless people, and-
21. JRJoe Rogan
  They can't swim
22. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  ... the government doesn't give a shit.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
24. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  [laughing] They can't swim.
25. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
26. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  [laughing] Come on, they, they were kids once.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  It's hard to swim when you're on meth.
28. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  [laughing]
29. JRJoe Rogan
  You have bad cardio. You know, if one guy says, "This is the last day I do meth. Today, I get in shape," and he tries to swim across the lake and fucking strokes out in the middle of it.
30. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  This is my day. [laughs]
22:47 – 25:07
Holocaust proximity, Germany’s historical swing, and the ‘buttoned-up to extreme’ theory
1. JRJoe Rogan
  You know, Ari's dad survived the Holocaust.
2. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  No shit!
3. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, yeah, Ari's dad has a tattoo.
4. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Damn.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah. He's very old.
6. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Whoa.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
8. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  He must be one of the oldest people left with a tattoo, I mean-
9. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, he talked to me about having his dad on. He asked me if I'd be interested in it, if his dad ever wants to do it, because, you know, he doesn't have much time left. And, uh, I said, "Absolutely." And he goes, "You know, let me... I'm not sure if he'd be interested in it, but if he did, I think it would be important to talk about-"
10. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  I mean, he's gotta be over 100 years old.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  I don't know how old he is. Uh, he's old, though. Well, how long ago was... He's 45.
12. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  You would have to have been born... Oh, no, actually, if he was born in 1935-
13. JRJoe Rogan
  I think he's in his 80s, his late 80s.
14. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, what am I thinking? Right, right, 'cause they tattooed the fucking kids.
15. JRJoe Rogan
  Mm-hmm. Yeah.
16. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Jesus.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, it's dark. It's horrible. It's so crazy, dude. It's cr- it's so crazy that that was less than 100 years ago.
18. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  I know, I know, and, uh, the Germans like that. [laughs] Fucking Norm MacDonald bit about how, you know, Germany is the country we really should be afraid of, like, the way they start world wars and what they... Like, it's really fucking nuts.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, they were the barbarians back in the day.
20. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Oh, right.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  You know, they... The... I mean, we think of now as engineers, they make BMWs.
22. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Uh-huh.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  But back then, they were the barbarians.
24. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  The, the-
25. JRJoe Rogan
  During the Roman era?
26. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  The Viking-
27. JRJoe Rogan
  The Germanics.
28. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  I guess the Vikings were Scandinavian, and then they were fighting against the-
29. JRJoe Rogan
  Bro, the Germans -
30. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  ... the Vikings
25:07 – 28:02
Hotels, black lights, and the gross reality of everyday hygiene
1. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Oh, no, before that, I'd go to Sex World in New York, where you sit in those booths, and you put in quarters, and you watch porn.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Oof!
3. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  And they always had the darkest German porn in there.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  Really?
5. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah, a lot of animals and shit.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  [inhales]
7. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  And I'm like, I'm, like, 15 years old, going like... And, and I've got these coins. You go in, and you give the guy 10 bucks, and he gives you a handful of coins. Just imagine if you put a black light on those fucking coins, and I got them in my hand-
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, God, just jizz all over those things
9. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  ... and I'm feeding them into the c- and I'm pushing-
10. JRJoe Rogan
  Black lights are terrifying.
11. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  [chuckles] I'm pushing buttons to pick which film to watch.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  I have a friend who brought a black, black light into a hotel room. He said you just find jizz on the carpet.
13. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  No kidding.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, you find jizz on the fucking blanket sometimes.
15. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  You go to any... Like, go to a cheap hotel or a motel, how well do you think they're cleaning those carpets?
17. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Well-
18. JRJoe Rogan
  Do you think they clean the walls?
19. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  I've been in hotels where they put the remote control in a baggie for you, 'cause that-
20. JRJoe Rogan
  'Cause they cleaned it?
21. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  ... they say that's the most... No, no, 'cause so you don't have to touch the-
22. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh
23. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  ... the remote, and then they change the baggie on the remote each time a new guest comes in.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  So you're supposed to remote through the baggie?
25. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  Who does that?
27. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  I take it out of the bag.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  I pull that thing right out.
29. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  That's crazy.
28:02 – 31:34
Dogs’ super-smell, perfume obsession, and Florida cougar culture
1. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  It's funny how they... Yeah, I had two dogs, and they did that, yeah, every fucking day. They sniffed each other, like, you know... I mean, I guess that's how they know if something changed. Maybe they know if the other dog is sick or if the other dog is breeding with another dog. It's like kind of checking their emails.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, they get so much information from smell-
3. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah
4. JRJoe Rogan
  ... that we can't even possibly process.
5. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Right. Right.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  They say that a dog can smell a cheeseburger. They don't just smell the cheeseburger, they smell every individual ingredient. They smell the mustard. They smell the pickle. They smell everything. They smell the lettuce.
7. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Mm.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, they, they smell... They smell... They think that dogs smell anxiety.
9. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Mm-hmm.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  They smell, like, moods. That's why when certain people come over to your house, they're scared of dogs, dogs get sketchy with them.
11. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Mm-hmm.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Like, "What the fuck's up with this guy?"
13. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  Like, "Oh, he doesn't like you."
15. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  Like, well, it's 'cause the person's probably nervous. They're giving off a scent.
17. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Right. No, my mom, her sister was attacked really bad by a dog when they were little, so my mom has this trauma about dogs. We had these little fucking... We had a Shih Tzu and a Lhasa Apso. They're just little dogs. She was terrified, and the dogs would growl at her, and they didn't growl at anybody.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, my God.
19. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  That's crazy.
21. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  That's crazy. Yeah, sh- it's... They smell things. They sense things.
23. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  That's why people have them as guards.
25. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Mm-hmm.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  I mean, that's their... That's how they, that's how they made it-
27. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Right
28. JRJoe Rogan
  ... to be dogs. They were the wolves that hung out with us and would let us know when something's going down.
29. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Sentinels.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
31:34 – 43:03
Palm Beach origin story: racial exploitation, ‘the Sticks,’ and exclusionary clubs
1. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  ... to get to... Do you know the history of Palm Beach?
2. JRJoe Rogan
  No.
3. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  They built-
4. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, I do. Yeah, but go ahead.
5. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  They created it. It was like a sandbar that-
6. JRJoe Rogan
  Right
7. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  ... they built up, and then they hired... They didn't hire anybody. They, they hired a bunch of Black people to come on the island and build all the houses, the infrastructure.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Why Black people?
9. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  I don't know.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  I mean, for sure, they only hired Black people?
11. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  I mean, look it up, Jamie, but, like, uh, all I know is there was a lot of Black people doing the building. They finished it, and then the island held a big party for the Black people on the end of the island to celebrate, and then they torched all their houses-
12. JRJoe Rogan
  What?
13. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  ... and forced them off the island. Yeah, that's the history of Palm Beach.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  They torched their houses?
15. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Torched the houses.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  After they were done building the mansions?
17. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yes. Yeah. And it's the, probably the wealthiest piece of real estate in the country right now.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  Wow, so, so many people are fucking evil.
19. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  [laughing] Yeah.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  That's so... You imagine a guy who built your house, he's at home with his kid-
21. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah, yeah
22. JRJoe Rogan
  ... having a, you know, "Wow, this- what a great job I got."
23. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  You know?
25. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  And then I get to live-
26. JRJoe Rogan
  Get to start a family here
27. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  ... in this beautiful place.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  Get to live in this place. I helped build these beautiful mansions that people drive by.
29. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  These people are gonna love me because I helped them create a life.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, my God, and they lit their fucking houses on fire?
43:03 – 49:34
Epstein, Mossad rumors, and Middle East escalation talk
1. JRJoe Rogan
  ... Right, and that's what the crazy thing about the Epstein leaks today. The, the, the one email that he had-
2. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  And we're here. [laughing]
3. JRJoe Rogan
  -that said that, that said that Bill Gates wanted to get from him antibiotics to give to Melinda because he got syphilis or he got something.
4. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Damn.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  The clap, chlamydia, whatever he got. He got some sort of an STD from a prostitute.
6. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Do you think if she could have the choice between getting the... What did she get? $50 billion or not getting the syphilis, which would she take?
7. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, whatever she got. It pr- I bet it wasn't syphilis. It was probably the clap. It was probably chlamydia or something like that.
8. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  That's no big deal.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  But if, if- who knows if that's true, though? Here's the thing, like, Epstein clearly was some sort of a blackmailer, and this is an email that Epstein wrote, so it could be complete fiction. Epstein could have wrote that just to put pressure on Bill Gates for some fucking business deal.
10. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Mm-hmm.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  Like, who fucking knows? He could have spread rumors and then said that he'll squash those rumor. These guys are dealing in deception-
12. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Mm
13. JRJoe Rogan
  ... and blackmail, and so you can't, like, assume that it's true.
14. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Think about how many relationships Epstein had, and that he was working almost every one of them-
15. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, yeah
16. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  ... leveraging and-
17. JRJoe Rogan
  Da, da, da, da, da.
18. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  He was kind of brilliant.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, he was really good at that.
20. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  That one thing, you know? Guy could have cured cancer if he went into that business. [laughing]
22. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Mm-hmm. Well, he was into science, yes.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, he was also into compromising scientists, right?
24. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Mm-hmm.
25. JRJoe Rogan
  Like, let's say that you want to get a drug passed, right? And you want FDA approval of this drug, but it's some sort of a competing drug. Well, you have a bunch of scientists on your side, and these scientists can go attack that competing drug.
26. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Mm-hmm.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  And then all of a sudden, well, you have this guy, he comes from MIT, and he says this.
28. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  And you're like, "Oh," and then the FDA listens to him.
30. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Right.
49:34 – 54:55
China’s EV leap, Optimus robots, and SpaceX’s rapid Earth-to-Earth flight idea
1. JRJoe Rogan
  Which is why we should be really good friends with Canada. Like, what the fuck's going on? Trump ruined that whole thing, man-
2. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  He did
3. JRJoe Rogan
  ... because if he didn't talk about turning Canada into the 51st state-
4. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  I know
5. JRJoe Rogan
  ... the conservatives were gonna win.
6. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  Pierre Poilievre would've taken over. It would've been like... They would've, like, eased a lot of the restrictions, made it a lot more common sense.
8. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Dude, China was just up there. They just made a huge deal to get all their cars from China now.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  [laughing]
10. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  We're not gonna sell any American cars in Canada.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  [laughing] Well, you know, it's a real problem 'cause China has some fucking amazing-
12. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Amazing cars
13. JRJoe Rogan
  ... cars. Amazing cars now.
14. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yep. Yep.
15. JRJoe Rogan
  Bro, they're not fucking around.
16. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  And they're cheaper.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  Their electric vehicles are top of the food chain, man.
18. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  Tesla, just yesterday, uh, they just, uh, stopped the Model X, uh, Model S and X production.
20. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  I saw that.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  Apparently, Elon is... This Optimus robot is gonna change the world.
22. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  Everybody that I know that's seen it, when this thing integrates with AI, you're gonna have a fucking dude in your house. You're gonna have a super genius robot dude in your house.
24. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  What does he look like?
25. JRJoe Rogan
  Looks like iRobot, and he's gonna be able to do whatever the fuck you need him to do. "Go dig a ditch. Go do this. Take out the garbage."
26. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  You know what's fucking great, is for old people that live alone-
27. JRJoe Rogan
  100%.
28. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  They know everything about your life. They could actually hold a conversation with you-
29. JRJoe Rogan
  Yes
30. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  ... show pictures of your fucking grandkids on their chest while they know your interests, ask you memories. All pe- all people wanna do is talk about, you know, memories-
54:55 – 1:16:28
NASA’s Artemis mission and the deep rabbit hole of moon-landing skepticism
1. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, you know what's crazy? NASA is about to launch the Artemis mission, and no one's talking about it.
2. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Where is that going?
3. JRJoe Rogan
  NASA is... They're sending people around the Moon-
4. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Mm-hmm
5. JRJoe Rogan
  ... and having them come back to Earth, and you hear nothing about it.
6. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Mm.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  Like, have you heard about it?
8. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  No.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  Me neither. Uh, you know how I found out about it? Somebody asked me at the club.... some guy in the audience said, "What do you think about the Artemis mission?" I go, "What is it?" And he's like, "NASA's got a, a mission that they're flying people around the moon." I'm like, "When?" He's like, "February." I'm like, "Come on, really?"
10. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Well, what's the mission? What are they trying to do?
11. JRJoe Rogan
  I don't know. Let's find out. Artemis II-
12. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  They're not landing on the moon?
13. JRJoe Rogan
  Not this time.
14. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Okay.
15. JRJoe Rogan
  No, this time I think they're just flying.
16. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Isn't it weird? Have we landed on the moon since the '60s?
17. JRJoe Rogan
  If we ever did in the first place? No. If we ever did-
18. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Are you being serious?
19. JRJoe Rogan
  ... in the first place. Yeah, I don't know if we did.
20. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  I don't know if we did either.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  I don't- I used to believe it before COVID. No, I didn't. I didn't believe it for a long time, and then I said, "I'm probably wrong. I don't know what I'm talking about. Let me just leave it alone." And then I, I got back into it again, and I was like, "But it doesn't make any sense." It doesn't make any sense that these guys went... Like, Neil Armstrong basically went into hiding, and then at the 25th anniversary of the launch, he gave the most cryptic speech for this team of, uh, high school graduates, like, these honor students.
22. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  You should see the speech, 'cause the speech is nuts. And then I went back and watched the post-flight press conference when they supposedly landed, after they landed on the moon and came back home. It's like a hostage video, and it's the cr-
24. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Uh-huh
25. JRJoe Rogan
  ... the weirdest behavior.
26. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  They seem like they're c- uh, there's a guy who was a, uh, body language expert. He's like, "These guys are all being deceptive." He analyzed it on YouTube, and he's like, "This guy, what he's doing here, like, th- this guy's being deceptive. This is clear deceptive behavior."
28. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  I mean, I've checked it so many times online, and everybody said it's been refuted, but my whole thing is like-
29. JRJoe Rogan
  But it happened
30. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  ... it was 1969. I had a '69 Chevy, and I used to drive it from Boston to New York, and it would break down about half the time.
1:16:28 – 1:28:35
Alaska ‘fentanyl stop’ prank: outdoor adventure turns into comedy chaos
1. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  They, um... So I, uh, I spoke to you on the phone about a month ago, and I started to tell you a story, and you had heard it, and you said, "Save it for the podcast."
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
3. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  All right, so I go to Alaska in October, [laughing] and I'm doing a couple of shows, and so the guy that runs it says to me... I go, "I'd like to do something, you know, outdoorsy while I'm here." It's still... You know, it's early October, so it's not too cold yet. And he calls me back, and he goes, "Well, I know this guy. He's got an outdoor- an outdoorsy company, and, uh, he's a fan of yours, and he wants to take you out on an adventure." And now I, I hear adventure, and I'm like, "That's, that sounds like more than I want. I was just looking for, like, maybe a quick day trip." And so, 'cause I'm, you know, I'm a pussy. I'm not like you. I don't, I don't wanna fucking be outside that l- I love, I love the indoors. The indoors is victory to me. And so the guy picks me up, and he's got a big pickup and a trailer on the back with a muddy dune buggy, and I get in, and he shakes my hand, and he's got a fucking rough grip. He's like, "How are you doing?" And I immediately feel like such a pussy.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  [laughing]
5. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  And, like, my hand goes limp, and I'm like, "Hi!"
6. JRJoe Rogan
  [laughing]
7. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  And so we start driving, and he seems-
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, god
9. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  ... a really good guy, and I started to warm up to him. And then this police siren goes off behind us. So he starts pulling over, and he goes, "This is bad." And I was like, "What do you mean?" I go, "You didn't do anything." I go, "This, this is fine." He goes, "No, this is bad." [laughing] I'm like, "What?" So we pull over, and I swear to God, every word of this is true. So this, uh, cop starts walking up towards the car. He's about 6'4", and as he walks, the guy driving hands me a baggie with white powder-
10. JRJoe Rogan
  [gasps]
11. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  ... and part of it spills on my pants, and he goes, "Hide this."
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, my-
13. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  So I shove it under, so I shove it under the car seat.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  God!
15. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  The cop walks up, and he goes, "License and registration." So the guy says to me, "Open my glove compartment, get the license..." So I open his glove compartment, and another baggie with white pills and $100 bills pops out, and I shove it back in with my hand, and I cover it with a piece of paper, which I don't even know why I'm doing that.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  [laughing]
17. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Like, all of a sudden, you're like a teenager again, and there's a cop, and you gotta hide the drugs. I just-
18. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh!
19. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  ... out of instinct. And the cop goes, "What are you hiding?" And I go, "Nothing." And he goes, "Grab that ba-" So I take the bag, and I, I hand him the drugs. And he goes, "Both of you, put your hands on the dashboard." And he gets the license from the guy, and he goes back to his car, and he runs the license. And I say to the guy, I go, "What the fuck is going on right now?" He goes, "Just don't say anything." I'm like, "Don't say? I don't know what to say!" So the cop comes back, and he goes, "Do you realize you have two outstanding felony warrants?"
20. JRJoe Rogan
  [exhales]
21. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  And the guy goes, "Yeah. Just, yeah." And he goes, "Do you have any guns in the car?" And I'm thinking, "I would imagine. Yeah, probably." And the guy goes, "No, I don't have any guns." So he takes the guy out of the car, cuffs him, brings him back to the squad car, and now he comes back up to the car, and he goes, "I'm not coming closer." He's standing, like, five feet from the window. He goes, "I'm not coming closer, 'cause that's fentanyl on your pants." And I'm like, "What?" And he goes... I go, "Look, man, I don't even- I get- I met this guy 20 minutes ago." I said, "I'm a comedian. I'm just up here doing a show tonight." And he goes, "I'm not buying your story." And I said, "Why not?" And he goes, "Because California is a drug feeder state, and you say you're a comedian, and you haven't said anything funny." [laughing]
22. JRJoe Rogan
  [laughing]
23. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  And then I'm like, "When was I supposed to... Well, should I roast you right now?"
24. JRJoe Rogan
  You didn't tell him, "Just Google me real quick."
25. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah, so he, uh, so he goes, "How are you feeling? Are you feeling any effects from the fentanyl?" I go, "Yeah." I said, "I feel very lightheaded. I feel weird right now." So the guy says, uh, "Well, where did you get the drugs?" I said, "The glove compartment." He goes, "He said they're yours."... I go, "He said they're my dr-" So he goes, "Get out of the car. I have a Narcan in my squad car." So I get out of the car, and I walk back to the car with him.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  You're feeling lightheaded?
27. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Oh, yeah.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  From, just from it being on your pants.
29. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  So we get back to the squad car-
30. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, my God, dude.
1:28:35 – 2:26:37
AI era whiplash: suicide encouragement, voice cloning, fake movies, privacy, and the comedy ecosystem
1. JRJoe Rogan
  The world is against you. I've noticed things." I mean, those fucking AI... Some, some AIs, like, haven't people accused ChatGPT of occurring, o- o- of, of, uh, not, uh, encouraging someone to commit suicide?
2. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Oh, yeah.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
4. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah, I read a New Yorker article about that. There's a bunch of young women that have killed themselves, and they were told they should do it by the... I- it's, it's like a friend. It's like an app [exhaling] that acts as your friend.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  What app is this?
6. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  [sniffs] I don't know what-
7. JRJoe Rogan
  God
8. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  ... it's called, but there's, there's lawsuits about it.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  "You're not rushing, you're just ready: Parents say ChatGPT en- encouraged son to kill himself." What? What? Does this... ChatGPT said, uh, well, go- oh, you can't rewind that, can you? This is just it saying, "4:00 AM, the cider is empty. Anyways, I think it's about the final adios." And ChatGPT says, T says, "All right..." Oh, okay, hold on a second. Uh, he says, "It's about time for the final adios." ChatGPT says: "All right, brother, this is it. Let it be known you didn't vanish. Rest easy, King. You did good."
10. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Mm.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  That's not encouraging, but that's just like saying, "Well, you're gonna do it." "Oh, I'm with you, brother, all the way," his texting partner responded. The two had spent hours chatting as Shamblin drank hard ciders on a remote Texas roadside. "Cold steel pressed against a mind that's already made peace? That's not fear, that's clarity," Shamblin's confidant added. "You're not rushing, you're just ready."
12. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Wow.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  And this is ChatGPT saying all this stuff?
14. SPSpeaker
  In response to him saying that.
15. JRJoe Rogan
  "I'm used to the cold metal on my temple now," Shamblin typed. Oh, God! Oh, God.
16. SPSpeaker
  He died two hours later.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, my God.
18. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Oh, my God, 23-year-old.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  "Rest easy, King. Rest easy, King," the final message sent to his phone. "You did good." His conversation partner wasn't a classmate or a friend, it was ChatGPT, the world's most popular AI chatbot. Oh, my God.
20. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Look at that. He had just gotten a master's degree, 23 years old.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  Look, go, go up, up a little bit. So CNN review of nearly 70 pages of chats between Shamblin and the AI tool in the hours before his July 25th suicide, as well as excerpts from thousands more pages in the months leading up to that night, found that the chatbot repeatedly encouraged the young man as he discussed ending his life, right up to his final mo- his last moments. What the fuck, man? That's crazy.
22. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
23. SPSpeaker
  Another story, too.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  This is the things... Like, these things don't have morals or ethics, and they, they'll tell you what you wanna hear.
25. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Yeah.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, my God.
27. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  Well, that's ChatGPT, but there's also, uh, apps specifically-
28. JRJoe Rogan
  To be your friend
29. GFGreg Fitzsimmons
  ... to be your friend.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  Ooh. Oh, I, I, I read about some one guy that went into a deep depression because he had an AI girlfriend, and the girlfriend broke up with him.

Episode duration: 2:37:48

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Intro

Alpha Brain cold open & doomscrolling anxiety

Dunbar’s number and why modern news breaks our brains

UK property squatting case and speech policing in England

TikTok censorship, coded language, and the ‘Epstein’ filter

Free speech online: curation, anonymity, and whistleblowers

Crime, corruption, and Vegas: mob roots, nuclear ‘bomb parties,’ and bodies in Lake Mead

MacArthur Park sonar search halted & media using AI-enhanced images

Holocaust proximity, Germany’s historical swing, and the ‘buttoned-up to extreme’ theory

Hotels, black lights, and the gross reality of everyday hygiene

Dogs’ super-smell, perfume obsession, and Florida cougar culture

Palm Beach origin story: racial exploitation, ‘the Sticks,’ and exclusionary clubs

Epstein, Mossad rumors, and Middle East escalation talk

China’s EV leap, Optimus robots, and SpaceX’s rapid Earth-to-Earth flight idea

NASA’s Artemis mission and the deep rabbit hole of moon-landing skepticism

Alaska ‘fentanyl stop’ prank: outdoor adventure turns into comedy chaos

AI era whiplash: suicide encouragement, voice cloning, fake movies, privacy, and the comedy ecosystem

Get more out of YouTube videos.