EVERY SPOKEN WORD
140 min read · 27,592 words- 0:02 – 1:14
Kill Tony’s boom and Austin’s comedy ecosystem
- SPSpeaker
Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out
- JRJoe Rogan
The Joe Rogan Experience [upbeat music]
- SPSpeaker
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night. All day.
- JRJoe Rogan
What's up, dog?
- SPSpeaker
Joe.
- JRJoe Rogan
Good to see you, my friend.
- SPSpeaker
Same here, man.
- JRJoe Rogan
What's crackalackin'?
- SPSpeaker
Life is good. Happy to be in Austin, Texas.
- JRJoe Rogan
Happy to have you.
- SPSpeaker
[laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
Are you doing Kill Tony tonight?
- SPSpeaker
I'll show up at Kill Tony tonight.
- JRJoe Rogan
Nice.
- SPSpeaker
Of course. My guy, so happy for him.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, he's killing it.
- SPSpeaker
He always, uh, talks about us as his early, uh, supporters.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
I love that guy.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, he's the best. I mean, that show is on fire. It's a fucking runaway train right now.
- SPSpeaker
Everywhere I go, "Kill Tony, Kill Tony, Kill Tony. Love you on Kill Tony." Makes me-
- JRJoe Rogan
It's such a fun show. You know? What a great idea. Kind of amazing nobody thought it up.
- SPSpeaker
Well, he just kind of put his open mics, and his roasts, and his personality, and his friends, and his... Built a community. It's kind of amazing.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, it's incredible. He's the new Johnny Carson. I mean, think about how many... Like, Adam Ray's killing it, selling out giant theaters. All these guys that, you know, came through that show are fucking destroying now.
- SPSpeaker
This is our tribe, Joe.
- JRJoe Rogan
I know.
- SPSpeaker
I love it.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's amazing. It's a good time for comedy.
- 1:14 – 7:10
German Shepherd life: training, Broadway, and a working dog’s needs
- SPSpeaker
Did I, did I hear that you have a German shepherd?
- JRJoe Rogan
No. No, I have a golden retriever, and I have a, a Cavalier King Charles spaniel.
- SPSpeaker
Oh, okay.
- JRJoe Rogan
Little tiny fella.
- SPSpeaker
Oh. Somebody told me something different.
- JRJoe Rogan
No. I love German shepherds, but I don't have one.
- SPSpeaker
I have a German shepherd.
- JRJoe Rogan
They're the best.
- SPSpeaker
So I thought it...
- JRJoe Rogan
You have to exercise the shit out of them, though.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
They need work.
- SPSpeaker
She loves to run around-
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah
- SPSpeaker
... dig, and climb, and adventures, and-
- JRJoe Rogan
They need tasks.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
They're not like my golden. He's just cool just chilling, laying on his back, getting his belly rubbed.
- SPSpeaker
Oh, I follow him on Instagram. Don't worry.
- JRJoe Rogan
He's the best.
- SPSpeaker
I look for my mornings with him.
- JRJoe Rogan
I mean, they're a very low-maintenance dog. And he, he's trained. He, he... You could train him very easily, but as far as, like, like a guard dog and that kind... Useless. [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
My dog, my dog can, like, sit, stay, and run around frantically. I'll be like, "Run around frantically," and she'll just run around.
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, they have so much energy. Those dogs are just designed to work.
- SPSpeaker
I put her to work for two months this summer on Broadway. She came out at the end of my show and howled with me and the audience.
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs] She can howl on cue?
- SPSpeaker
She... We taught her... I had the same trainer that did the Sandy from the show Annie, like, from when I was a kid, Bill Bertoloni. And he's like, "I could teach her." She's, like, a wild rescue German shepherd from the desert, and there she was, like, came out, jumped on a couch, hit her mark, turned to the audience, and we, like, sang.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, that's awesome.
- SPSpeaker
She had her own dressing room.
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs]
- 7:10 – 8:50
Feeding dogs well: raw/fresh food, portions, and health outcomes
- SPSpeaker
And they don't need a lot of food e- they don't need a lot. She's, she's, like-
- JRJoe Rogan
What do you feed her?
- SPSpeaker
You know, I used to overfeed her and give her a lot of table scraps and spoil her, and then I learned more recently that if I keep her to, like, a cup and a half of kibble a day, the vet recommended-
- JRJoe Rogan
You, you should get her on raw food.
- SPSpeaker
Sorry?
- JRJoe Rogan
Raw food or fresh food.
- SPSpeaker
Oh, interesting.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. I, I used to just feed my dogs kibble, too. I had one dog that got cancer, and I, I read about all these dogs getting cancer, and, you know, they get fat so easy when you give them kibble, and it's just because that stuff can sit on a shelf-
- SPSpeaker
Yeah
- JRJoe Rogan
... forever.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's like, you wouldn't eat it.
- SPSpeaker
No.
- JRJoe Rogan
Why are they eating it?
- SPSpeaker
Right.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's not healthy for them.
- SPSpeaker
Sometimes I put a little turkey f- in the, the-
- JRJoe Rogan
Turkey's great. Real food is great.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Real f- real food for your dog is the way to go. I feed my dog Farmer's Dog. It's, uh, it comes frozen. It has to be frozen.
- SPSpeaker
Right.
- JRJoe Rogan
And the way they attack it versus the way they attack kibble, like, kibble's like, okay, they're eating. No big deal.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
But they just can't wait to eat this stuff.
- SPSpeaker
No.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, they get excited. Like, the little guy, little Charlie, he literally leaps up in the air trying to get to the counter-
- SPSpeaker
[laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
... where, when I'm putting the food in his bowl. He gets nuts. They love it.
- SPSpeaker
Oh.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's real food. It's human-grade food for dogs.
- 8:50 – 15:56
Rescue dog stories: trauma, habits, and what street life teaches
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, she'll probably get a little paranoid. I used to have a pit bull that she would get paranoid-
- SPSpeaker
[laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
... if she was in the room when we got high. And I was realizing, oh, this poor dog. She's getting high, too. She was a rescue dog, too. I found her. She was covered in mange. It was so sad.
- SPSpeaker
Oh.
- JRJoe Rogan
She was eating out of garbage cans.
- SPSpeaker
That's heartbreaking.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. A friend of mine found her, and, uh, they took her in for... And then they called me, and they said, "Do you want another dog?" I had one dog already. I said, "Absolutely." And as soon as I saw her, I was like, "Oh."
- SPSpeaker
Yeah. They're good together.
- JRJoe Rogan
She was so horrible.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
It was so horrible. She was covered in mange. She had little scabs on her and everything. It all went away within, like, two months of, of food. But that dog, because of living on the street, she could never get enough food. She was always, like, raiding garbage cans and stuff. Like, you'd have to lock up the garbage can, strap it down with a bungee cord.
- SPSpeaker
Right.
- JRJoe Rogan
She would tip them over, and she was-
- SPSpeaker
Ah
- JRJoe Rogan
... uh, never full. Even though she would, like, get fat-
- SPSpeaker
Yeah
- JRJoe Rogan
... she would n- she was never full.
- SPSpeaker
Just in case.
- JRJoe Rogan
It was just, you know, she was starving when I'm, when I found her.
- SPSpeaker
The, uh, I had the old dog first, and then the young German shepherd, so the old one had all these street habits like that.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm.
- SPSpeaker
And she taught them to the young dog. Like, the young dog walks down the stairs as if she has a broken back hip.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, no.
- SPSpeaker
And she learned how to get in the car from an old dog, so two leg- she, she could leap right in. She's a kid, but she still goes two f- two paws up, and I have to pick her up.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, that's how Marshall does it.
- SPSpeaker
Overprotective like the old dog.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, Marshall, I think he probably could jump in my car, but it's like he knows I'll just lift him up, 'cause I've done it since he was a puppy. So we do this little, little thing. I go, "You ready?" He puts his paws up. I go, "One, two, three."
- SPSpeaker
[laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
It's always one, two, three, up. So he gets ready.
- SPSpeaker
Do they ha- do they talk to you? My dog howls with me in the morning.
- 15:56 – 18:08
TV scares, then an ad break (AG1)
- SPSpeaker
Right. When, when, when, when Nipsey first came out from the desert, she was, you know, like six, seven-month-old, you know, puppy, but still a sizable dog. A German shepherd at six months is already like a dog. And the old dog, which was old, you know, on her deathbed, but wise, streetwise, she was on the floor, and the puppy was up on my bed. It was her first night in a home, and I put on TV. I put on, um, House of Cards, and it was this daunting, kind of scary music, and the dog's just watching. And there's like a shadowy figure. It was Kevin Spacey coming down the hall, his character coming down the hall. And as this like man was revealed full screen on a big screen, Nipsey did a back flip, fell off the bed, and ran and hid in the closet. [laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
And the old dog, Nana, was like, "Oh, boy." She had to like pull herself up at her bad legs and w- and, and go in the closet and tell her to come back out.
- JRJoe Rogan
Now listen, it's TV.
- SPSpeaker
[laughs] Like woof, woof, woof.
- JRJoe Rogan
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- 18:08 – 23:55
House of Cards, Kevin Spacey, and “compromised” leadership
- SPSpeaker
House of Cards, what a fucking show that was.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah.
- SPSpeaker
Oh, what a fucking show. They never should've done that last season. Once Kevin Spacey got canceled, they should've just canceled it.
- JRJoe Rogan
It was done.
- SPSpeaker
Or, you know-
- JRJoe Rogan
Not
- SPSpeaker
Right
- JRJoe Rogan
Such a good fucking show
- SPSpeaker
That was a great show
- JRJoe Rogan
It's crazy. I saw him, he was in Israel doing some weird thing where he was, like, doing, like, a song and dance routine in a small club recently. Like, he's been kind of reduced to doing that for money
- SPSpeaker
Is that reduced, or is that part of the comeback? You gotta start
- JRJoe Rogan
I don't know. I mean, it's something. I mean, he... I guess he's just making money. You know, he's completely bankrupt. He lost everything
- SPSpeaker
Mm
- JRJoe Rogan
It's crazy
- SPSpeaker
Show business, it's a-
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, it's not just show business, right? It's, uh, it's also what did you do? You know, what'd you get caught for? He got... You know, he was an old school dick grabber. One of those old school guys
- SPSpeaker
No one really likes that, getting their dick grabbed like that
- JRJoe Rogan
Some gay guys do, I think. I think what he did probably worked on some guys. You know what I'm saying?
- SPSpeaker
Right
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, gay guys have a whole different way of interacting with each other that we don't have. But I think with Spacey, it was like some of those fellows were young-
- SPSpeaker
Mm
- JRJoe Rogan
... and that's the problem
- SPSpeaker
Power
- JRJoe Rogan
It's power. It's like, in the gay community, there's a lot of guys that think it's okay for young gay guys who are underage to, uh, hook up with older gay guys. It's a... That's like Milo Yiannopoulos. Remember him?
- SPSpeaker
Mm-hmm
- JRJoe Rogan
He actually talked about that on my show. He was talking about when he was 14, he hooked up with this, this older guy, and he's like, "Trust me, I was the predator." He was, like, saying that he was going after the guy. I was like, "All right." But it's different. In their eyes... I mean, I'm just speaking for gay guys that I've talked to.
- SPSpeaker
[laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
It's different in their eyes than, you know, an adult male and a young female.
- SPSpeaker
Right
- JRJoe Rogan
You know. But Kevin Spacey's a fucking unbelievable actor. That fucking House of Cards was so good. It was so good. Such a good show. I'm glad it's still out there, you know, 'cause there was a lot of stuff-
- 23:55 – 28:35
FOMO, loss, and remembering friends who are gone
- SPSpeaker
I grew up, I lost my parents as a teenager, so I live e- for... I live every day like I could die tomorrow. So I never wanna leave. I have ultimate FOMO all the time.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm
- SPSpeaker
I never wanna miss an event, a party. I went to the Super Bowl. I went to All-Star Weekend. I wanna go to the Grammys. I love life. I wanna make the most out of it all the time. It works against me sometimes, I think
- JRJoe Rogan
That's interesting, right? That's the plus side of experiencing loss when you're young. You really wantYou, you, you really relish life. You wanna make the most out of it. You wanna enjoy it while it's here.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
One of the things I say on my show is I learned early on human beings were made to mourn and move on. You can't mourn forever or a part of you dies, and that's not fair.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- SPSpeaker
So it gave me this sort of zest for living.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm.
- SPSpeaker
You take that loss as a young person, you're, you're afraid at any second it could... You know? It's hard to make long-term plans. Are your parents still alive?
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah. It's amazing, amazing blessing, and sometimes when you lose people young, you're afraid, you're al- you live in the constant fear that it's all gonna fall apart.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. I've lost a lot of friends. Like, sometimes I look at my, my contact list when I get a new phone, you know, and you're swapping over contacts and I'm like, "Oh, fuck." You know, I've got, like, 20 dead people in my contact list. Some of them I just keep in there, you know?
- SPSpeaker
I, I, I-
- JRJoe Rogan
I got old phones where, like, poor Dame's texting me. I just kept the phone. I'm like, "I'm never throwing this phone away." You know? S- a bunch of friends who are just gone.
- SPSpeaker
I look at Bob Saget's texts all the time. I listen to Gilbert Gottfried's-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah
- SPSpeaker
... voicemails.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. I know what you mean, yeah.
- SPSpeaker
It, it just, it brings me right back to that. I-
- JRJoe Rogan
Those two guys, that was... Those were two tough ones. Those were two really tough ones. Such great guys.
- SPSpeaker
Well, that, there's that famous picture of me, Norm, Gilbert, and Bob that Adam Egat took-
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm
- SPSpeaker
... at Joan's restaurant in Hollywood, and I show that in my special, and I talk about each one, do, like, a tribute to Norm. I do a tribute to Gilbert, whose family is a big part of my family now. His kids are great kids. His daughter goes to school here in Tex- in Austin. And there it is.
- JRJoe Rogan
There it is.
- SPSpeaker
And Bob-
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh
- SPSpeaker
... who just became a grandfather. So they left quite a legacy, those guys.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm.
- 28:35 – 45:45
Patrice O’Neal and the craft of roasting (Charlie Sheen roast story)
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm. It's weird when you get older and you realize how many guys have passed. Like, m- Patrice comes up in my algorithm all the time, and you know, you just watch old clips. I went on a binge a few months back of him on Opie and Anthony.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Just fuck.
- SPSpeaker
Ruthless.
- JRJoe Rogan
He would've been in the number one podcast in the world if he was alive today.
- SPSpeaker
Patrice?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, if he had a podcast, 'cause he probably would've. He probably... I mean, it's a perfect normal transition from Opie and Anthony to podcasting.
- SPSpeaker
Right.
- JRJoe Rogan
He would, uh, he would've probably had the best podcast in the world.
- SPSpeaker
Except the guests would never get to talk at all. [laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, it didn't, wouldn't matter. He, he would be dressing them down. [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
[laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, he was, uh, the funniest shit I've seen.
- SPSpeaker
Patrice's greatness at the Charlie Sheen roast I always talk about is-
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah
- SPSpeaker
... he went on last, and he was like... He was... We booked him late. He never wanted to do a roast, and he said, "I don't know this one. I don't know that one." And finally I called him one day. I go, "We're, we're roasting Charlie Sheen." He goes, "Oh." He goes, "I don't know Charlie Sheen, but I think I could do that." I go-
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm
- SPSpeaker
... "You know him. You don't know him, but you know what he..." You know? It's... And he goes, "All right, I'm coming." He dresses total rock star, like a leather suit.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm.
- SPSpeaker
Like, this whole, like, fantasy Patrice in his head, and he, and then the day of the show, he's, like, complaining about his material. He's like, "I don't know these writers. They don't know me. This isn't me. Blah, blah, blah." I go, "Patrice, fuck all that. Pay attention and roast the roast. Just roast the roast. Make mental notes. Clock it all. Let them see you taking it in, and then just go on and talk about what you just saw." And that's what he did.
- JRJoe Rogan
No, it was brilliant. Did you see Charlie Sheen's, uh, Netflix documentary?
- SPSpeaker
I haven't.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's fucking great, man.... crazy. It's crazy. Like, he talks about everything. Talks about the s- first time he smoked crack, a girl was giving him a blowjob when he smoked crack.
- SPSpeaker
How else are you supposed to do it? [laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
He said it's the best experience he's ever had. He says he's never topped it.
- SPSpeaker
Wow.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
Wow.
- JRJoe Rogan
Makes you wanna try it.
- SPSpeaker
[laughs]
- 45:45 – 59:05
Celebrity scrutiny and public cruelty: DUI videos, TMZ fights, and HOAs
- SPSpeaker
Look at freaking Timberlake this weekend. That really pissed me off.
- JRJoe Rogan
What happened?
- SPSpeaker
They, they released a two or three-year-old video of him getting a DUI.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. Oh, I did see that.
- SPSpeaker
Why does that need to be out there? Why do they, what is the-
- JRJoe Rogan
How is that a legal thing, to take, like, a pr- a video of someone being arrested? Like, why is that? Because he's a public figure? Why, why isn't that private? I don't understand.
- SPSpeaker
It makes no... I, I-
- JRJoe Rogan
And there was nothing outrageous about it. It didn't-
- SPSpeaker
They're just hassling this guy and bringing up old news. It really bugged me.
- JRJoe Rogan
I mean, there was nothing outrageous about it. I mean, he was very calm and relaxed, and, you know, they arrested him for DUI. They, you know, they asked him a few questions. There was nothing about it that was, you know, like, "Oh, look at Justin Timberlake. He's off the rails. He's c- acting crazy." It was like he had a few drinks.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Probably shouldn't have drove. Drove, got caught. That's it.
- SPSpeaker
Right. It happens to a lot of people.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
And whatever. Just 'cause he's famous or whatever, a year later-
- JRJoe Rogan
He wasn't acting like an asshole. He didn't do anything terrible.
- SPSpeaker
But-
- JRJoe Rogan
And, you know, and everybody wants to like, "Ew, look at him. He got caught."
- SPSpeaker
Right.
- JRJoe Rogan
"You have so much money, and you still got caught."
- SPSpeaker
Right, right.
- JRJoe Rogan
You know, obviously get a driver, dude. You, you know, you're gonna get drunk.
- SPSpeaker
Right.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's not that hard.
- SPSpeaker
He's tooling around the Hamptons, and he thought he was fine.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, that's probably it, right? That's where all the rich people drink and drive. [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
Well, well, well I, I don't, I don't get having to torture somebody by releasing the video. It's just-
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, I mean, all he has to do is just not be online for a few days, and it'll go away. But it's like, why is it okay to release that? Why is that a public record thing? Unless there's, like, some... Even if there's a case, that should be something that gets released in court.
- SPSpeaker
No, they release it as a public information, but-
- JRJoe Rogan
What?
- 59:05 – 1:05:45
Newark roots and martial arts: Jeff’s taekwondo black belt
- SPSpeaker
When I was a young comic, I lived with my grandfather in the house that I grew up in, and we would never, ever, ever mow the lawn. We just didn't have any money. We didn't care, and everyone in our neighborhood just hated us. They would heckle us and yell at us, so I guess I've been the eyesore, and now I'm on the other side of it.
- JRJoe Rogan
My grandfather lived in the same house that he bought in the 1940s, and when he bought it in the 1940s, this was in, uh... It was an all-Italian neighborhood in Newark. And then, um, they st-
- SPSpeaker
That's where I'm from
- JRJoe Rogan
... they started doing... You were born in Newark?
- SPSpeaker
Newark, New Jersey, baby.
- JRJoe Rogan
No shit. What up, dog?
- SPSpeaker
Brick City, motherfucker.
- JRJoe Rogan
Let's go.
- SPSpeaker
That's where I learned karate.
- JRJoe Rogan
Is that really?
- SPSpeaker
From detectives in Newark.
- JRJoe Rogan
Really?
- SPSpeaker
Oh, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, you... People don't know you're a black belt in taekwondo.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah. Yeah. Yep, yep, yep. [laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
That's wild. Do you still do it at all?
- SPSpeaker
I mean, I work out, like, you know, not with people, but I, I know my moves, and I, I do a few in the new Netflix special. I throw some kicks for fun and tell the story about getting a black belt at, starting at six, getting bullied, my mom dragging me to the House of Empty Hands.
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
Karate, that was what it was called. Ronnie Roselli, Newark detective, teaching me karate, almost like a father figure.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, that's awesome.
- SPSpeaker
Gave me confidence, gave me self-respect, respect for others, taught me that hard work pays off. You know, when you get a black belt at 10 and a half, you go, "Wow, maybe I could be something in my life. If I work as hard as I did at that, maybe I could be good at something else, too."
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, for sure. I mean, it teaches you a lot about, like-The belt system is really good because you get rewarded for your work and then you fe- see like a tangible result. Instead of just like, "Ooh, I'm getting better," it's like, "Ooh, there's like a ceremony."
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, "I've reached a new level."
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like now, you know, now I have to be...
- SPSpeaker
Some of my most cherished memories are those ceremonies of-
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm.
- SPSpeaker
... my dad and mom watching me get my brown belt, blue belt, brown belt-
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm
- 1:05:45 – 1:21:19
Comedy as family: process mindset, Kill Tony, and the Kevin Hart roast
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, you know, the thing about Tony is like, he's so focused on Kill Tony right now because the momentum is so extraordinary, and he realizes that. Like, Tony's really aware that he's in a very rare moment in his life-
- SPSpeaker
Yeah
- JRJoe Rogan
... where things are going so well, so he's got his foot on the gas.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah, of course.
- JRJoe Rogan
And he's got his new special that he filmed, that he's editing right now, getting ready to release, and he's just-
- SPSpeaker
I'm so proud of him, man.
- JRJoe Rogan
I am too.
- SPSpeaker
And he's earned it.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
I always told him he would take a different path than a normal entertainer. He always had this kind of odd trajectory.
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, he's an odd guy.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
You know? Tony, you'd swear he's gay, and he's not. [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
[laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
But he's an awesome person. Like, people who don't know Tony, they see like the outside of him.
- SPSpeaker
Of course.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, as a friend, he's a great friend.
- SPSpeaker
Of course.
- JRJoe Rogan
He's a great guy. I love that guy to death.
- SPSpeaker
You're always checking on each other and he's-
- JRJoe Rogan
He's the best
- SPSpeaker
... he was so happy. He was the first one to text me when he knew I was coming down here. When I was workshopping my, my show, he came and saw it in Austin. He came to the opening night on Broadway in New York. He's like there for his friends. He's the best.
- JRJoe Rogan
100%. 100%.
- SPSpeaker
He's the best.
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, that's the beautiful thing about Kill Tony is it's all about supporting people and giving people careers.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
I mean, he's given so many people careers and pumped so many people up.I mean, he's, he's really that thing, that Kill Tony thing is also, it is in my opinion... Well, first of all, for our club, it's the cornerstone of the club. It's one of the most important things about the mothership, because having Kill Tony at the mothership every Monday night lets all these people that are upcoming comedians see what it's like to have one minute that you, you've polished and worked on really well, and it kills, and then you pop, and then all of a sudden, you know, it's on YouTube, it's got 11 million views, and then, you know, maybe it's on Netflix, and it's got millions and millions-
- SPSpeaker
Wow
- JRJoe Rogan
... of people watching all around the world. And then all of a sudden people come to see you in the clubs, and you're selling out weekends, and you're writing, and you g- and then you get a golden ticket, and you gotta do a new minute every week. You're a, a regular.
- SPSpeaker
[laughs]
- 1:21:19 – 1:47:26
Health crises and honesty: colon cancer, alopecia, and nutrition debates
- SPSpeaker
I went through it all year. I had, I went in for a rou- af- three weeks after that Brady Roast, I had a, went in for a colonoscopy. My buddy Jordan had been texting our text chain, "Everyone's gotta get the..." He's, like, kind of a hypochondriac, so I kind of ignored it. I was like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." I was too busy. I was on the road, and then finally I went in for a routine colonoscopy, and I waited too long, and they found a tumor in my colon, and immediately that, an hour, two hours later, was on the phone with a surgeon.
- JRJoe Rogan
[exhales]
- SPSpeaker
And stage three, and found a specialist, took care of it right away, but never felt doomed.
- JRJoe Rogan
Have you changed your diet after that?
- SPSpeaker
Yeah. I don't eat-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
I'm eating a lot less red meat.
- JRJoe Rogan
Red meat?
- SPSpeaker
Now when I eat red meat, it's, like, gonna be the best red meat.
- JRJoe Rogan
Why is it red meat? Why?
- SPSpeaker
I don't know. I mean, th- for me, growing up in a catering hall in New Jersey around pastrami and prime rib and-
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm
- SPSpeaker
... he said that that was a big cause of colon cancer.
- JRJoe Rogan
Really?
- SPSpeaker
Yeah, and processed foods.
- JRJoe Rogan
Processed foods-
- SPSpeaker
Salami
- JRJoe Rogan
... makes sense.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
That makes sense.
- SPSpeaker
So I'm eating a lot less of that.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
I moved over to turkey and chicken and a little bit of fish.
- JRJoe Rogan
And cut out the processed stuff?
- SPSpeaker
As much as I can, so.
- JRJoe Rogan
What about alcohol? Did you cut that out?
- SPSpeaker
I, I, I've never been a big drinker.
- JRJoe Rogan
That's good.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- 1:47:26 – 1:59:32
Coffee, chemicals, and tangents into media, fame, and past careers
- SPSpeaker
Mm. You drink a lot of water?
- JRJoe Rogan
A lot of water, yeah.
- SPSpeaker
You still drink a lot of coffee?
- JRJoe Rogan
I drink less. Um, I've been drinking coffee later in the day now. Um, I've been, like, going through my day and not drinking my first cup of coffee till, like, noon now. I've been doing that a lot lately.
- SPSpeaker
Huh.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
You don't need it in the morning to get going?
- JRJoe Rogan
Sometimes I feel like I do. I enjoy it. I indulge if I enjoy it, but I don't like relying on things. I don't like having to do things. I don't ever want to have that feeling. So lately I've been, like... And I've gone days without coffee just to see what that feels like. Sometimes I feel a little sluggish, but there's ways you can avoid that too. Like, I'll take nootropics, which is, uh, brain nutrients, you know, theanine, and, uh, uh, acetylcholine, and a bunch of different things that'll-
- SPSpeaker
Mm.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, there's Alpha Brain. That stuff pumps my brain up and fires it up. It's just, you can get addicted to caffeine. Caffeine is very, very addictive, and, uh, I feel like if I can get my day going without it, it's probably better.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah. I drink a lot less, but I see what you're saying.
- JRJoe Rogan
I love it though.
- SPSpeaker
Oh, it's great.
- JRJoe Rogan
I love a cup of coffee. I love it.
- SPSpeaker
Oh, my God.
- JRJoe Rogan
I love it.
- SPSpeaker
Oh, when I landed yesterday, Austin Airport, like, I needed a coffee so bad. I'd been out partying the night before, early flight. I land, and you just want a cup of coffee before you even start seeing your texts-
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm
- SPSpeaker
... 'cause you don't wanna deal. And it's like, the first place I go to, it's like, there's a long line. Uh, uh, I finally get there, and it's like, it's a kiosk, and I'm like, "I can't kiosk. I need to just tell someone to put coffee in a cup and hand it to me." Then I go to another place, and it's like, they, they charge me, and then they hand me a cup and go, "Go fill it," and I walk away. I just can't... I get so fricking cranky. And I go to the third place finally, and it's just like, they give you a cup of coffee. Uh, the kiosks and the, the, the no employees just, uh, it all makes me so mad.
- JRJoe Rogan
Why?
- SPSpeaker
I wanna talk to somebody.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, okay.
- SPSpeaker
I don't like-
- JRJoe Rogan
Filling out a computer when I want something
- JRJoe Rogan
I rarely go to coffee places because I drink black coffee, and black coffee at Starbucks tastes like dog shit.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's all burnt and tastes terrible. It's just not good.
- JRJoe Rogan
I could drink any coffee. You could take old coffee, put it in a microwave, and it's the same to me as-
- JRJoe Rogan
Really?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, an espresso that you're-
- 1:59:32 – 2:14:27
Names, legacy, and the ‘backstage pass’ of comedy (Brody, Gilbert, USO, and Jeff’s special)
- JRJoe Rogan
Dude, I've known you since you were Jeff Lipschutz.
- SPSpeaker
I've known you since your best joke, which was, um-
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
... "Never trust a hooker with a walkie-talkie." [laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
You go, "I learned..." You were like 25, and you were like, "I've learned a lot of things in my life."
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah. "I never trust a hooker with a walkie-talkie." Was that the joke?
- JRJoe Rogan
Um-
- SPSpeaker
[laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
... no. It was, "I went to college for three years. You know what I learned?" How'd it go? "Don't trust hookers walk- with walkie-talkies"? I don't know. I don't-
- SPSpeaker
You've known me since Jeff Lip- I'm still... By the way, I'm still Jeff Lipschutz. My ID, my passport.
- JRJoe Rogan
Maybe you shouldn't tell everybody.
- SPSpeaker
It's all right.
- JRJoe Rogan
We should've hid that.
- SPSpeaker
It's, it's, it's... A- at this point-
- JRJoe Rogan
When did you change it to Ross? What year was that?
- SPSpeaker
Oh, I could tell you. What happened was I got booked on Star Search down in Florida.
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
Like, my first time on TV. You know, we were all starting to get, like, on MTV and Star Search.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm.
- SPSpeaker
Those shows were coming around. And I go down to Orlando, where they were shooting it back then, and, um, Ed McMahon was the host, and he kept introducing me by f- fucking up my, "Our, this week's challenger, Jeff Lipschitz," and I'd walk out.
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
And I'd... It would screw me up, you know? Then the next, I'd won, and then the next day it's like, "This week's challenger," you know, "Life Shots." You know, he would just screw it up every time. And on the flight home, I was like, "I either have to..." If I re- I really loved comedy. I was, like, two years in. I go, "Let me think about this. Ross is my middle name." Jon Stewart was Jon Leibowitz, and, uh, he had told me he had ha- he did it for the similar reasons of, like, no one can spe- if I asked you to spell Lipschutz right now-
- JRJoe Rogan
Right
- SPSpeaker
... even you couldn't, and you've known me 35 years. So-
- JRJoe Rogan
Right
- SPSpeaker
... so I was like, "All right. Either I'm gonna have to change my name, or my whole family's gonna... I don't know what to do." So Ross, it just made sense.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's easy.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
Episode duration: 2:14:28
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Transcript of episode 7s_XJ5fonGI
