Ari Shaffir on Joe Rogan: Why Mushrooms Beat the Algorithm

Speaker 0:00 [upbeat music]

Speaker 0:02 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.

Ari Shaffir 0:04 The Joe Rogan Experience.

Speaker 0:06 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night. All day. [upbeat music]

Joe Rogan 0:12 You know what you are on my phone?

Ari Shaffir 0:14 What?

Joe Rogan 0:14 Ari the Wanderer.

Ari Shaffir 0:16 [laughs] That's a new phone number.

Joe Rogan 0:18 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 0:19 [laughs] That's not bad.

Joe Rogan 0:20 That's the, that's the new number. 'Cause that's what you are. Oh, well, I was telling you last night that I, I thought it was in Mexico City, but we had a, a report that you were at an Oasis concert in Mexico City.

Ari Shaffir 0:29 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 0:29 And you said no, it was in Rio.

Ari Shaffir 0:30 SaO Paulo.

Joe Rogan 0:31 Oh, Sao Paulo?

Ari Shaffir 0:32 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:32 Okay, so it was in Brazil.

Ari Shaffir 0:33 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 0:33 So we, no one knew where you were. You were gone for how many months? Six?

Ari Shaffir 0:38 Seven.

Joe Rogan 0:39 Jesus Christ.

Ari Shaffir 0:39 About seven months. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:41 How many times have you done that now?

Ari Shaffir 0:43 [exhales] I guess three, although when I went to Ecuador, I was very much in touch with everybody.

Joe Rogan 0:48 Mm.

Ari Shaffir 0:48 So it was like-

Joe Rogan 0:49 That was a halfway.

Ari Shaffir 0:51 That was a halfway.

Joe Rogan 0:51 But you were there, you were kinda checked out, but you were in touch.

Ari Shaffir 0:54 I was gone for six months, but I was, I was in touch.

Joe Rogan 0:56 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 0:56 I still had numbers. I was still, like doing, like podcasts and stuff and...

Joe Rogan 1:00 Were you doing 'em remotely?

Ari Shaffir 1:02 Doing 'em remotely, yeah. I would do one with, uh, Big Jay and Soda. We did a 21 Jump Street breakdown podcast.

Joe Rogan 1:06 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 1:07 [laughs] Called, like... Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:11 Oh.

Ari Shaffir 1:11 We were so bored during the pandemic, we were like-

Joe Rogan 1:13 Ugh

Ari Shaffir 1:13 ... "Let's find a show and just, let's get together."

Joe Rogan 1:16 And watched 21 Jump Street. [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 1:18 First we chose Sex and the City, and then found out gay fucking Ian already had a Sex and the City podcast. Um, so like-

Joe Rogan 1:24 Ian Hyland?

Ari Shaffir 1:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:25 Did he really?

Ari Shaffir 1:26 Dude, that guy blows dudes. Obviously he loves Sex and the City.

Joe Rogan 1:29 Well, I guess so.

Ari Shaffir 1:31 So we're like, "We don't wanna step on his toes." Like, "Let's pick another..."

Joe Rogan 1:33 He seems like he's straight sometimes.

Ari Shaffir 1:35 He does.

Joe Rogan 1:36 It's weird.

Ari Shaffir 1:37 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:38 Like, is he only gay?

Ari Shaffir 1:39 No. No. He fucks, he fucks better than we ever did. For women.

Joe Rogan 1:44 Women?

Ari Shaffir 1:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:45 Okay.

Ari Shaffir 1:46 He gets it.

Joe Rogan 1:47 So, and then, but then he went to guys somewhere along-

Ari Shaffir 1:48 He's a new breed. He's a new breed of just, like...

Joe Rogan 1:51 When did he go to guys? Is that a new thing?

Ari Shaffir 1:53 I think he battled with it for a while.

Joe Rogan 1:55 Oh, okay. So he was fucking girls, but hating them? God, I wish I were a guy.

Ari Shaffir 1:58 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:58 Like that kind of a deal?

Ari Shaffir 2:00 Yeah. Yeah, I guess. And then he went to glory holes, and he was saying he wasn't gay.

Joe Rogan 2:04 Oh, good Lord.

Ari Shaffir 2:04 I'm like, "Bro, that's one of the biggest signs of a gay."

Joe Rogan 2:07 So you just stick your hole, your dick in the hole? Or you suck the dick that comes out of the hole? Like, was he the glory giver or the glory taker?

Ari Shaffir 2:14 You're asking me questions I don't know.

Joe Rogan 2:16 These are very important.

Ari Shaffir 2:16 I as- I always assumed in my head it was he was sucking dudes off, but-

Joe Rogan 2:20 Oh

Ari Shaffir 2:20 ... but I'm, I'm actually not sure.

Joe Rogan 2:22 Interesting. Yeah, uh, interesting, right?

Ari Shaffir 2:23 It's interesting.

Joe Rogan 2:24 Yeah, because if, if the dick comes through the hole, if you're like, "Do you ever wanna suck a dick, but I don't wanna look a guy in the eyes. I just wanna know what it's like, see if I'm good at it." [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 2:31 Yeah, I don't wanna be embarrassed in front of anybody. They're gonna recognize me later. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 2:34 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 2:34 I just wanna work on my technique. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 2:36 Yeah, I just wanna find out if I'm right. [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 2:39 Yeah. [laughs] I need more research. Not enough data points.

Joe Rogan 2:44 Yeah, because so, so you didn't even ask him which side of the glory hole he was on?

Ari Shaffir 2:49 I think I was so overwhelmed by this heterosexual dude who was telling me he goes to glory holes. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 2:54 And so then he was heterosexual. This was back in the day.

Ari Shaffir 2:57 We did a podcast, my old podcast, on the way down to, like somewhere, and-

Joe Rogan 3:02 This was Skeptic Tank?

Ari Shaffir 3:03 Yeah. And, and he was telling me that, but he was telling me he's not gay, and I was like, "How do I say this? Wait." And I was like, "Buddy, I think you are gay." He goes, "W- why?" I'm like, "The glory hole stuff. It's a big sign."

Joe Rogan 3:19 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 3:19 And he goes, "Wow. Do you think?" [laughs] I was like-

Joe Rogan 3:22 Do you think?

Ari Shaffir 3:23 I was like-

Joe Rogan 3:23 But you didn't even, that's the crazy thing is you didn't even ask whether he sucks or gets sucked.

Ari Shaffir 3:27 I was lost in it. You're right. As an interviewer, I didn't do my job that day.

Joe Rogan 3:30 Terrible.

Ari Shaffir 3:30 Obviously, that's a major question. It's a one in two chance.

Joe Rogan 3:33 Yeah, right? How do you not know?

Ari Shaffir 3:34 How do I... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:36 It's, like very important to know.

Ari Shaffir 3:38 [laughs] It is. 'Cause there is a percentage chance it might be a chick blowing you. There's no percentage chance-

Joe Rogan 3:44 There's 0% chance it's a chick blowing you

Ari Shaffir 3:46 ... that this dick is a vagina. 0%. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 3:48 0% chance. It's 100% a guy or a guy pretending to be a chick.

Ari Shaffir 3:51 I bet there's a ton of those dudes who have wives, you know, who live in that world, be like, "I tho- I always thought it was a woman." Like, shut up.

Joe Rogan 3:57 Yeah, right.

Ari Shaffir 3:58 Shut up.

Joe Rogan 3:59 Y- yeah. Plausible deniability.

Ari Shaffir 4:01 Plausible deniability.

Joe Rogan 4:02 Yeah. So then he just decided to just go straight gay?

Ari Shaffir 4:08 No, he's everyw- he does everything.

Joe Rogan 4:09 Oh, now he's-

Ari Shaffir 4:10 He's like Miami gay

Joe Rogan 4:10 ... bisexual.

Ari Shaffir 4:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:11 Okay.

Ari Shaffir 4:12 Yeah, so we did the 21 Jump Street podcast, and, uh, and I would do it sometimes. I'd get on, they'd be like, "Are you drinking a coconut with a palm tree behind you?" [laughs] Like out of a coconut. I was like, "Oh, this is just a Tuesday, guys. What's going on?"

Joe Rogan 4:22 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 4:23 And I'd really milk it.

Joe Rogan 4:25 'Cause you were in Ecuador.

Ari Shaffir 4:26 'Cause I was in Ecuador. I was having a good time. But-

Joe Rogan 4:28 What is that, that gay tea you drink?

Ari Shaffir 4:30 Mate?

Joe Rogan 4:32 Sher-

Ari Shaffir 4:32 Sher- yerba?

Joe Rogan 4:33 [laughs] See, you just got into this... It's literally a jar of hay-

Ari Shaffir 4:38 It really is

Joe Rogan 4:38 ... that you pour hot water in. There's so much hay in there.

Ari Shaffir 4:41 It's so much. It tastes... You tried it.

Joe Rogan 4:44 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 4:44 Yeah. It tastes like just-

Joe Rogan 4:45 Like hay

Ari Shaffir 4:45 ... kind of ass. Yeah, just hay.

Joe Rogan 4:46 It... I don't understand.

Ari Shaffir 4:48 It's like a ritual.

Joe Rogan 4:50 Yeah?

Ari Shaffir 4:50 It's all the gauchos in Argentina and then spread to Chile and southern Argentina, southern Brazil.

Joe Rogan 4:53 And so it's just a bunch of leaves that are in a-

Ari Shaffir 4:57 The yerba tree.

Joe Rogan 4:58 Yerba mate, right?

Ari Shaffir 4:59 Yeah. But that, that drink is, like different.

Joe Rogan 5:02 I've had that stuff.

Ari Shaffir 5:03 I think that's different.

Joe Rogan 5:04 Really?

Ari Shaffir 5:05 Yeah, I think it's as about as much as, like what Willie Nelson's, like drink is actually weed.

Joe Rogan 5:10 Oh, Willie Nelson's drink is weed.

Ari Shaffir 5:12 Really?

Joe Rogan 5:12 Oh, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 5:13 I take it back then.

Joe Rogan 5:14 Oh, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 5:15 Wow.

Joe Rogan 5:15 I don't know what the legality of that is, and I don't wanna throw anybody under the bus-

Ari Shaffir 5:20 Yeah

Joe Rogan 5:20 ... but Ron White brought a bunch of it to the mothership.

Ari Shaffir 5:23 He got fucked up?

Joe Rogan 5:23 And it's very legit.

Ari Shaffir 5:26 Hm.

Joe Rogan 5:26 Yeah. It is, it's all dose dependent. I think one glass is, like five milligrams, or one shot is, like five milligrams. But if you drink a glass of that shit-

Ari Shaffir 5:37 Yeah

Joe Rogan 5:38 ... yeah, you're gonna-

Ari Shaffir 5:38 You're going for it. Wow

Joe Rogan 5:39 ... you're gonna go into that weird dimension.

Ari Shaffir 5:41 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 5:42 You know that weird dimension where you're like, "I think this is Earth, but it doesn't seem like Earth anymore."

Ari Shaffir 5:48 [laughs] Thumbs up.

Joe Rogan 5:49 It's like a facsimile of Earth.

Ari Shaffir 5:51 You try to look at people like, "You seeing what I'm seeing?"

Joe Rogan 5:53 Yeah. I remember one time, um, I was doing Fear Factor in, we were in San Francisco. And, uh, back, this is the unregulated edibles days. You know, 'cause this is before marijuana was legal-

Ari Shaffir 6:05 Do your joke

Joe Rogan 6:05 ... but you could get a prescription.

Ari Shaffir 6:06 Do your joke. Can I do your joke?

Joe Rogan 6:08 Which one?

Ari Shaffir 6:08 The X.

Joe Rogan 6:09 Oh, yeah

Ari Shaffir 6:10 [laughs] I'll do it. You'll be embarrassed.

Joe Rogan 6:11 Okay, yeah. [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 6:12 He goes ... This is early days. And by the way, it was just like, there's banana bread, uh, going around now.

Joe Rogan 6:17 Right

Ari Shaffir 6:17 It's killing people, it's great.

Joe Rogan 6:18 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 6:18 Not killing people, but like destroying people.

Joe Rogan 6:19 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 6:20 He goes, "They came in these doses, 1X, 2X or 3X. The problem is, X didn't equal any number."

Joe Rogan 6:27 Yeah. [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 6:28 So it was just some guy mixing up his bathtub full of fucking whatever, like weed infused cookie dough-

Joe Rogan 6:34 Oh

Ari Shaffir 6:34 ... and deciding what's X to him. That's not a mathematical equation.

Joe Rogan 6:37 Yeah, X had no number value.

Ari Shaffir 6:40 [laughs] So it's one times this. What's this, right?

Joe Rogan 6:43 Yeah. Well, there's ... I had the joke too about the gummy bear. The guy literally said that to me. I go, "How much should I take?" He goes, "Just a leg."

Ari Shaffir 6:50 Los Gatos or Mountain?

Joe Rogan 6:51 I go ... Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 6:51 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 6:51 I go, "Just the leg?"

Ari Shaffir 6:53 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 6:54 I go, "Why the fuck are you selling whole bears if I should only eat a leg?" 'Cause it's only that big. Like-

Ari Shaffir 6:58 Yeah

Joe Rogan 6:59 ... no one's going to eat just the leg.

Ari Shaffir 7:00 It's a crazy dosage. A half a cookie is the right ... 'Cause that's-

Joe Rogan 7:04 Yeah

Ari Shaffir 7:04 ... a cookie is a dose.

Joe Rogan 7:06 Yeah. So back in these days we were doing Fear Factor, and we were doing it, it was, uh, we were doing it off of a aircraft carrier in the Bay Area, and so we had to take the ... You know that one train, I forget what it is. Is it the BART that goes under the water? That goes under the bay between Oakland-

Ari Shaffir 7:23 The-

Joe Rogan 7:23 ... and San Francisco?

Ari Shaffir 7:24 The BART? Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:25 BART, whatever it is.

Ari Shaffir 7:26 No, I call it the BART just to fuck with them.

Joe Rogan 7:28 Um, so I, I took this edible, and it was an unregulated edible, so I have no idea, and it was way too strong. And I was-

Ari Shaffir 7:36 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 7:37 I was like, "Why do my ears feel weird?"

Ari Shaffir 7:39 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 7:40 And they're like, "Because you're under the ocean."

Ari Shaffir 7:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:42 And I was like, "No." It was like the longest 20 minutes of my life waiting to pop out on the other side.

Ari Shaffir 7:49 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 7:50 Where I was like, we're under this ... How long has this fucking subway been under the o- ocean? Like, how long has this existed? Like, what are the odds this thing is still good? Is anybody out there diving, checking on the tube, making sure there's no holes in it?

Ari Shaffir 8:02 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 8:03 You know? And this fucking-

Ari Shaffir 8:04 You start doing all the research in your head

Joe Rogan 8:06 ... and it was like, I, I felt like I was talking to people, but what I was seeing was a two-dimensional like, uh, you know like those, uh, s- stand-ins, like when you go to the movie and it's like, you know, a person standing there, like thumbs up, but it's like just a two-dimensional cardboard cutout. That's what everybody looked like to me. It was like a two-dimensional cardboard cutout, but occasionally I'd see their soul peeking around their shoulder-

Ari Shaffir 8:29 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 8:30 ... looking at me. It was so heavy. I don't know what the number was.

Ari Shaffir 8:35 Don't you miss-

Joe Rogan 8:35 How many Xs

Ari Shaffir 8:36 ... that kind of high?

Joe Rogan 8:38 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 8:38 I don't get that kind of high or drunk anymore.

Joe Rogan 8:40 Well, that kind of high is really fun-

Ari Shaffir 8:42 It's so fun

Joe Rogan 8:43 ... after it's over.

Ari Shaffir 8:43 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:43 After it's over.

Ari Shaffir 8:44 When you look back.

Joe Rogan 8:45 But when it's happening, it's terrifying.

Ari Shaffir 8:48 Oh, those are the best.

Joe Rogan 8:49 I remember a guy I did jujitsu with, he made pills. He made THC pills. 'Cause he was like one of those all day guys. He was just high constantly all the time.

Ari Shaffir 8:59 Dab.

Joe Rogan 9:00 And, and so ... Yeah, the dab guys. But this is pre-dabs.

Ari Shaffir 9:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:02 And so this guy made pills, THC pills. I, I, I go, "How much should you take?" And he, and he goes, "You should probably start off with one, but I take two." So I took two, 'cause I'm an asshole, and, uh, I wind up having this conversation with this guy, uh, and he was weirding me out.

Ari Shaffir 9:18 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 9:19 It was at a jujitsu tournament. I was like, "Why is this guy so weird?"

Ari Shaffir 9:21 Super soul.

Joe Rogan 9:22 Well, it turns out the dude, uh, eventually got arrested for rape. And not just arrested for rape, but he was on the run.

Ari Shaffir 9:30 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 9:30 And he was on the run and couldn't stop doing jujitsu. And the way they caught him was he went to like Seattle or somewhere, like 'cause this was in California.

Ari Shaffir 9:39 He signed up for classes?

Joe Rogan 9:40 And he was just rolling, but he was killing everybody. And everyone was like, "Who is this fucking guy?" Like, "Why is this guy so good?" And then eventually they realized it was him, and they go, "Oh my God, this guy's wanted for rape."

Ari Shaffir 9:51 Wow.

Joe Rogan 9:51 He was a crazy person. And when I was like super high on these pills, I could see all the crazy in his eyes. I could s- ... Look, he didn't say anything crazy.

Ari Shaffir 10:00 Dude, you can.

Joe Rogan 10:01 It was a normal-

Ari Shaffir 10:01 When you're on drugs, you can see through people.

Joe Rogan 10:04 Yes. You can. You can. You can see their soul.

Ari Shaffir 10:06 It's fu- it's, it's interesting.

Joe Rogan 10:08 It is interesting.

Ari Shaffir 10:08 You really can see it.

Joe Rogan 10:09 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 10:09 It's not one of those where I'm like, "No, it was just the drug fucking with me." You can tell.

Joe Rogan 10:13 And so w- this was like-

Ari Shaffir 10:14 If someone's happy or sad or

Joe Rogan 10:15 ... a year or so later, he gets arrested and winds up fleeing. I think he maybe was out on bail or he was wanted and fleed and went to the Pacific Northwest. But I remember when I heard the story, I was like, "Oh, that makes sense." 'Cause he had the weirdest energy, just like this dark energy, like creepy dark energy.

Ari Shaffir 10:37 Sometimes if you're on like a psychedelic and then someone's not on with you, you know?

Joe Rogan 10:43 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 10:43 But they're around you, you, you're like, "Hey, you gotta go. You're freaking me out."

Joe Rogan 10:46 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 10:46 Like, I, I don't know. Your energy's not of this. It's ... I don't know if you're looking at me-

Joe Rogan 10:50 Uh-huh

Ari Shaffir 10:50 ... but like you gotta take off.

Joe Rogan 10:52 Yeah. You see like motivations. You s- you smell-

Ari Shaffir 10:56 You see everything so clearly.

Joe Rogan 10:58 Yeah, I know. It's weird. But it's not reliable.

Ari Shaffir 11:02 It's not reliable.

Joe Rogan 11:02 It's not like, like, uh, I'm about to go into a, a, a meeting with this defendant. I need to know if he's actually innocent or guilty.

Ari Shaffir 11:08 [laughs] Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:08 So I'm gonna take five grams of mushrooms. [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 11:11 [laughs] Let's tap into his soul. Me and Big Jay were leaving a blues fest in Ottawa once. We were leave ... It's like a city festival, but then you wander into the, what used to be the safest city in Canada. So you're all fucked up, it's great, and as you're leaving you just see who's on what drug. Like, you just can tell like mushrooms, acid, weed, drunk.

Joe Rogan 11:30 Molly.

Ari Shaffir 11:30 Molly. Yeah, you just see it all. You just see through everybody.

Joe Rogan 11:33 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 11:33 They're just sitting there talking.

Joe Rogan 11:35 Yeah. I don't ... I wonder what's gonna happen n- now that this, uh, thing happened at the White House.

Ari Shaffir 11:42 I thought ... First of all, I thought, you know, I'm out on the news, so I'm hearing stuff little by little about everything.

Joe Rogan 11:48 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 11:48 I thought it was just ibogaine, which is like great. Those people need that. And then, and then, I mean, Ed Clay's been telling me about that for so long.

Joe Rogan 11:57 Well, Ed Clay, I talked about him on the podcast.

Ari Shaffir 11:59 Oh.

Joe Rogan 11:59 'Cause he was one of the ways that I found out about it.

Ari Shaffir 12:01 Me too.

Joe Rogan 12:01 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 12:01 In Nashville?

Joe Rogan 12:03 Yeah, yeah. Nashville.

Ari Shaffir 12:03 Yeah, right.

Joe Rogan 12:03 That's him.

Ari Shaffir 12:03 And he would tell you, he's like-

Joe Rogan 12:04 Mm-hmm

Ari Shaffir 12:04 ... "You should get on it. It helps with addiction." I'm like, "I'm loving-

Joe Rogan 12:06 Yeah

Ari Shaffir 12:06 ... what I'm doing right now. I don't [laughs] I don't wanna get on it." But-

Joe Rogan 12:09 Yeah, I need to fuck up my high. [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 12:10 But like, uh, I'm like, "This makes sense." And then ... Oh, fine. Great. You got that ... And then I find out it's alsoI mean, the best hippie flip.

Joe Rogan 12:19 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 12:20 You, you got that MDMA, and boomers, and shrooms

Joe Rogan 12:23 And psilocybin. Yeah. Well, it's because MDMA and psilocybin, MAPS was already doing MDMA studies with, uh, veterans. So for people that, you know, watched a bunch of people get blown up, and lost their friends, and come back, MDMA was one of the best therapies-

Ari Shaffir 12:39 Yeah

Joe Rogan 12:39 ... for helping them overcome PTSD. So MAPS had already pushed that through, and Johns Hopkins had already done these studies with psilocybin. So they already pushed these things, and they were already on the way to getting approval through the FDA, but the problem was nobody wants to stick their neck out and sign off on it.

Ari Shaffir 12:56 It's a problem with, with politics. If you're running, we talked about this, if you're running for an office and the opponent can say, "He wants drugs legalized"-

Joe Rogan 13:02 Right

Ari Shaffir 13:02 ... then you're fucked.

Joe Rogan 13:03 Right.

Ari Shaffir 13:03 So it's like it really binds your hands.

Joe Rogan 13:05 Right. But that's funny because that's kinda what Dan Patrick did in Texas about marijuana. But to his credit, Dan Patrick met with Rick Perry and Bryan Hubbard, the guys that passed this Texas ibogaine initiative, and they convinced him of what this stuff actually is.

Ari Shaffir 13:21 Oh.

Joe Rogan 13:21 And so they've donated, so he's allocated, rather, $100 million in Texas for the ibogaine initiative, which is amazing.

Ari Shaffir 13:30 When I was in that-

Joe Rogan 13:30 So he-

Ari Shaffir 13:30 Yeah

Joe Rogan 13:30 ... but, but that's a, a sign of a s- an intelligent man. Like, this Dan Patrick guy had this stance on weed that was like, "Weed's bad. It's ruining everything." And then they come to him and he's like, "I am staunchly opposed to this." And they sit, they sit down with him, he explains, Bryan Hubbard explains, and he's very eloquent, explains what ibogaine does. It's not recreational at all, and he hears it, and he hears how much it, it'll help particularly veterans that come back that are addicted to opiates and they're all fucked up. And even CTE, even, like, brain injuries from getting blown up.

Ari Shaffir 13:59 Oh.

Joe Rogan 13:59 It's neuroregenerative somehow. It's a crazy plant. And so he, he, to his credit, he signed off a- and they allocated $100 million for the Texas Ibogaine Initiative, which is amazing.

Ari Shaffir 14:11 Wow.

Joe Rogan 14:12 But it's like all these people have these ideas in their head, but it's all because of Nixon. All of it goes back to the Nixon administration.

Ari Shaffir 14:18 Well, you grew up with probably, "This is evil. This is-"

Joe Rogan 14:21 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 14:21 You'll get stuck that way kinda stuff, where it's like-

Joe Rogan 14:23 I think, I think some people do.

Ari Shaffir 14:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:25 This is what's important about these studies.

Ari Shaffir 14:27 Schizo people. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:28 Yes. This is what's important about these studies. Like, and I think this is important about weed, too. You know, I'm very adamant that it's not for everybody. I think there's a lot of things-

Ari Shaffir 14:36 It's so, so strong

Joe Rogan 14:37 ... some of it's so strong. And some people are already on the way to schizo. They're already on the way. There's schizophrenia in their family. There's like, they just, that's not a good thing for them. And-

Ari Shaffir 14:47 Well, what's making a comeback luckily is, like, Mexican weed, is like the-

Joe Rogan 14:50 Oh, the, the mild

Ari Shaffir 14:51 ... the 12, 12%-

Joe Rogan 14:52 Yeah

Ari Shaffir 14:53 ... THC where it's like, uh, just get, be, I just want-

Joe Rogan 14:55 Yeah, just a little

Ari Shaffir 14:55 ... I just wanna get high, dude.

Joe Rogan 14:56 The old days.

Ari Shaffir 14:57 I'm trying to bury myself in this movie again.

Joe Rogan 14:59 Exactly. I don't wanna go to Pluto.

Ari Shaffir 15:00 Yeah. [laughs] Just, is there anything?

Joe Rogan 15:02 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 15:02 Is there, what's the shot?

Joe Rogan 15:03 I wanna be, I wanna be in the clouds right above the city. That's it.

Ari Shaffir 15:06 What's the shot and a beer of weed?

Joe Rogan 15:08 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 15:08 I want that.

Joe Rogan 15:09 That's it. Right.

Ari Shaffir 15:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:10 Right. I don't wanna fucking dab. I see these dabbers. Oh, these ...

Ari Shaffir 15:15 I asked for mids in a dispensary once, and they were like, "What are you, what?"

Joe Rogan 15:17 Mids? [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 15:18 "What's, what is that?"

Joe Rogan 15:19 Mids?

Ari Shaffir 15:20 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:20 They're all so hardcore.

Ari Shaffir 15:22 I, I remember the early days, it was, like, Zen Dispensary, one of the early ones, and I was, like, just getting into it. Atari hooked me up. Remember that guy with, like-

Joe Rogan 15:29 Mm-hmm

Ari Shaffir 15:29 ... weed?

Joe Rogan 15:29 Yeah, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 15:29 And it was like, it's like, okay, so now I'm into it. And I went to Zen and I was like, "Hey, listen, I, I like to smoke cigarettes while I write. Uh, I'm off cigarettes now, but it's a habit, so I need something. But I, if I smoke a joint, I'm done writing."

Joe Rogan 15:41 Right.

Ari Shaffir 15:41 And that's what he's like, "Oh, you want Mexican weed. We can do that for you."

Joe Rogan 15:44 Oh, just something cal-

Ari Shaffir 15:45 Just like-

Joe Rogan 15:47 Just something mild

Ari Shaffir 15:48 ... yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:49 Just something mild. Yeah. It's like going to a power lifting gym and saying, "Do you guys have yoga classes?" [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 15:54 [laughs] It feels so wrong to say.

Joe Rogan 15:56 They're like, "The fuck out of here."

Ari Shaffir 15:57 Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out.

Joe Rogan 15:58 We're only here to get jacked.

Ari Shaffir 16:00 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 16:01 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 16:01 They did that in Ecuador. There was a city I was in when I did ayahuasca, and it was a guy from the tourism board, and he said, "What's gonna s-" There's three cities that are, like, on the border to the Amazon.

Joe Rogan 16:11 Mm-hmm.

Ari Shaffir 16:12 And, and, you know, you can go in from any one of them. And they go, "What's gonna separate our city from all these other Amazonian cities?" And they go, "Let's be the ayahuasca city."

Joe Rogan 16:19 Ooh.

Ari Shaffir 16:20 And everyone else on the tourism board said, "No. We are not getting a bunch of fucking hippie backpackers in here to be drug addicts in our town. Like, that's not what we're looking for at all here."

Joe Rogan 16:32 This thing sucks.

Ari Shaffir 16:33 Yeah, it did. You just filled it up.

Joe Rogan 16:34 I'm not.

Ari Shaffir 16:35 There's a lever on it, too. I don't know. Uh, and he goes, "Okay, fair." But he goes, "Can I take you on an ayahuasca trip?" To each member. And each member was like, you know, they're half indigenous. They're like, "Sure."

Joe Rogan 16:45 Right.

Ari Shaffir 16:46 And then one by one they all go, "Oh, this isn't an addictive thing."

Joe Rogan 16:50 Right.

Ari Shaffir 16:50 "So I had it the wrong idea in my head of what this was." You come once, you don't come back for a year.

Joe Rogan 16:55 Yeah. Everybody had that thing from the Nixon administration.

Ari Shaffir 16:58 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 16:59 It's the Controlled Substances Act of 1970, and that thing, that's, it's really nuts, but for 56 years we've been-

Ari Shaffir 17:06 Wow

Joe Rogan 17:06 ... living underneath that.

Ari Shaffir 17:08 It just, it becomes a given.

Joe Rogan 17:09 Uh-huh. Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 17:10 You don't think to reevaluate any knowledge that's in there already.

Joe Rogan 17:13 I know, and it's like so many people, just a little microdose of shrooms, it'll change your fucking life. It's, it would, it would help so many people. There's so many people that are stressed out for no fucking reason.

Ari Shaffir 17:23 It really does give you such a reset.

Joe Rogan 17:26 100%.

Ari Shaffir 17:26 And molly, too, or I know, that's why I was talking to you. The MDMA, the MAPS people were always like, "Please start calling it MDMA."

Joe Rogan 17:32 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 17:32 "When you call it molly, it becomes a party drug." I'm like, "Well, I do it at parties, [laughs] so that's what it is for me."

Joe Rogan 17:38 Yeah. The, the problem with what they're saying by saying that is like, no, because it is a party drug, too.

Ari Shaffir 17:43 It is. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:43 It's also ... It's just like what are we gonna call, uh, whiskey? We gonna call it, uh, you know, alcohol by volume? Are you gonna have a technical term for what whiskey is? Fuck off.

Ari Shaffir 17:53 Whiskey.

Joe Rogan 17:53 It's whiskey.

Ari Shaffir 17:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:55 You know what I mean? Like, that's why people like it.

Ari Shaffir 17:57 Like, you call it that if you want.

Joe Rogan 17:58 Yeah. You do whatever you want. I'm gonna call it molly.

Ari Shaffir 18:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:02 Fuck off.

Ari Shaffir 18:02 Fuck off. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 18:03 [laughs]

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Ari Shaffir 19:06 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 19:06 [laughs] Fuck, fuck off with all your rules.

Ari Shaffir 19:08 That's, that's a good ringtone.

Joe Rogan 19:09 But it's because-

Ari Shaffir 19:10 Fuck off

Joe Rogan 19:10 ... they've spent so much money and so much time and so much effort trying to get this stuff passed through.

Ari Shaffir 19:16 It would be so huge if you could just go get some mushrooms.

Joe Rogan 19:21 Oh, it'd be so huge. And why can't you if you can go to Costco and just buy a jug of whiskey and drink yourself to death?

Ari Shaffir 19:28 And also, so like in Sc- in Edinburgh, they have a season for it, and you can go through the, the meadows or any of these fields and just, like, pick mushrooms.

Joe Rogan 19:36 Right.

Ari Shaffir 19:36 You know? But if it's on your shoe, it's fine, and if it comes off your shoe, [laughs] then it's illegal.

Joe Rogan 19:43 Oh, that's hilarious.

Ari Shaffir 19:44 It, it... But it's just, like, growing there.

Joe Rogan 19:45 You know where Duncan used to live in Asheville?

Ari Shaffir 19:47 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 19:48 They started giving the cows, like, a certain type of feed that had antifungal properties to it.

Ari Shaffir 19:53 What?

Joe Rogan 19:53 So that they wouldn't grow... So who knows what it did to the cows' gut in the-

Ari Shaffir 19:57 Ugh

Joe Rogan 19:58 ... you know, without-

Ari Shaffir 19:58 For nothing to-

Joe Rogan 19:59 ... ruining the cows. Just because so many kids were picking mushrooms off of the cow shit, they, "We're gonna t- put a stop to this."

Ari Shaffir 20:06 In Thailand, it's the elephant shit, and they-

Joe Rogan 20:08 Oh

Ari Shaffir 20:08 ... and the, and the guys who ran the elephant, like, abusive centers, whatever, [laughs] so you could ride them and make them play harmonica.

Joe Rogan 20:14 The... [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 20:14 Stuff that, stuff that's natural in the wild. "Oh, no. Oh, no, guys. Elephants love painting you a picture."

Joe Rogan 20:19 We, we rode them when we went to Thailand.

Ari Shaffir 20:21 Me too. It's okay. [laughs] Then I went back my second time, and they were all, everyone at the hostel was doing that, and then, uh, I was like, "No, I already did it." And they go, "Humane or non-humane?" I'm like, "Oh, definitely the humane one." They're like, "Did you ride them? That's inhumane." I'm like, "Oh, yeah, inhumane then."

Joe Rogan 20:35 Well, the elephants wanted you to ride them. They don't mind. Like, 'cause you weigh nothing-

Ari Shaffir 20:39 You weigh nothing

Joe Rogan 20:39 ... and you feed them first, and you make, you give them an offering, right? So you, first of all, you wash them, and you feed them. So you feed them, like, you give them sugarcane, and you, you have to develop a relationship with the elephant before you ride it. Like, these people were all, they were all free-range elephants.

Ari Shaffir 20:57 Oh.

Joe Rogan 20:57 They're all rescue elephants. So the elephants would come in out of the jungle. Like, they weren't in cages.

Ari Shaffir 21:02 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 21:02 Oh, yeah. It was wild. Like, they would-

Ari Shaffir 21:05 And they let you-

Joe Rogan 21:05 Yeah

Ari Shaffir 21:05 ... get a saddle on them?

Joe Rogan 21:06 Uh-huh. Well, you don't-

Ari Shaffir 21:07 Touse?

Joe Rogan 21:07 It's barely a saddle.

Ari Shaffir 21:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:09 You just kinda climb onto them, and there's, like, a thing that you hold onto.

Ari Shaffir 21:13 Wow.

Joe Rogan 21:13 And they're totally cool with it. And then at the end, you go to this, like, pond, and you wash them.

Ari Shaffir 21:18 Oh.

Joe Rogan 21:19 And so it's like they could kill you anytime they want to, you know? So it's like it's a relationship, and it's not, they're not prisoners, and they're not abused at all. The people that are running this, the place where I went to... But even then, I did a video with it, and I said, "You know, uh, you could ride them." I go, "I rode them. I don't recommend it. I don't think you should do it." I would never do it again. I would never ride them again, 'cause I just, it just feels fucked up.

Ari Shaffir 21:41 Well-

Joe Rogan 21:41 I would rather just feed them and pet them and say, "You're nice."

Ari Shaffir 21:44 But also-

Joe Rogan 21:44 I don't need to go through the jungle with you all

Ari Shaffir 21:45 ... yeah, but also, like, you rode them.

Joe Rogan 21:47 I did.

Ari Shaffir 21:47 So, like, if you, if you hadn't rode them, you'd be like, "Well, I've never ridden a elephant," and now you have.

Joe Rogan 21:52 I wouldn't have done it at all if my family didn't wanna do it. They wanted to do it.

Ari Shaffir 21:56 That's cool.

Joe Rogan 21:56 So I said, "Okay, let's go." And they enjoyed it. It was a good experience.

Ari Shaffir 21:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:59 You know, the kids are, they're little and we're taking them through Thailand-

Ari Shaffir 22:03 Elephant palette. It's, it-

Joe Rogan 22:03 And yeah, it's wild

Ari Shaffir 22:05 ... I wonder sometimes if these kids, I was talking to Tommy about it, uh, like, if they'll know later in life how cool their experience was. Like, it'll be till, like, they're 35 or 40, they'll be like, "Oh, yeah, I had a great time. I didn't understand the coolest things I did."

Joe Rogan 22:19 Yeah, I think my kids are pretty aware of it. Um, but-

Ari Shaffir 22:24 Anyway, they had these t- these hippies would go over the, and camp, and pick out mushrooms from elephant patties.

Joe Rogan 22:29 Oh.

Ari Shaffir 22:30 And then eventually, the people, the herders were like, "Why do these fucking dreadlock people keep coming in at night and s- like sniffing around our shit?" And then they realized what it was, and they go, "Oh, no, no, no, we'll sell this." So yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:42 Oh, so they sell it.

Ari Shaffir 22:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:42 Is it illegal in Thailand? Like, what is the legality of mushrooms in Thailand?

Ari Shaffir 22:45 Now I don't know, 'cause I think they just legalized weed in Thailand.

Joe Rogan 22:48 Did they really?

Ari Shaffir 22:49 Yeah, but it, back, back then, when it was illegal, there were bars that sold you joints, and those are the bars that paid the cops. And so-

Joe Rogan 22:56 Oh

Ari Shaffir 22:56 ... for all intents and purposes, you're fine.

Joe Rogan 22:58 Bro, I would not fuck around with drugs in another country. [exhales]

Ari Shaffir 23:02 Lame.

Joe Rogan 23:04 Yeah, me.

Ari Shaffir 23:04 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 23:04 That's me.

Ari Shaffir 23:05 Yeah. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 23:05 Super lame.

Ari Shaffir 23:06 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 23:07 I mean, talk to Brittney Griner. How'd that work out?

Ari Shaffir 23:09 [exhales] Not good.

Joe Rogan 23:12 Do you think when she was in jail, the, the guards would fuck with her and show videos of her missing? Like, "How come you miss? How come you miss this shot?"

Ari Shaffir 23:20 [laughs] Britt returning to breakdowns.

Joe Rogan 23:21 "You eat too much pussy. You smoke too much weed. You miss this shot."

Ari Shaffir 23:25 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 23:26 She was in jail for a long fucking time.

Ari Shaffir 23:27 She was in jail for a while.

Joe Rogan 23:28 I think she was in jail for, like, wasn't it, like, six months or something like that?

Ari Shaffir 23:32 I knew someone who worked at the, um, the agency she was at, the sports management agency.

Joe Rogan 23:38 Mm-hmm.

Ari Shaffir 23:39 Every day, they started with 15 minutes of like, "Hey, before we get into anyone else's business, how are we getting her out?"

Joe Rogan 23:45 10 months. Almost a fucking year in jail in Russia. That's crazy for a vape cartridge.

Ari Shaffir 23:51 Nine years in a penal colony.

Joe Rogan 23:53 Oh.

Ari Shaffir 23:54 That was a fumble because they just told America, like, "Hey, guys, keep quiet. We can get her out. She's a nothing asset. Just everyone be quiet." And the, the liberal, angry, you know, housewives are like, "No, I wanna say something." And they all just kept talking, and eventually, like, Russia's like, "Oh, is this an important one?"

Joe Rogan 24:09 Oh, really?

Ari Shaffir 24:09 "Oh, we'll keep her in."

Joe Rogan 24:10 Is that what happened?

Ari Shaffir 24:11 Yeah, I think so. I think it was Biden was like, "Sh- just shut up. We'll get her out if you shut up."

Joe Rogan 24:15 Oh, my God.

Ari Shaffir 24:15 And they made it into a bigger thing.

Joe Rogan 24:16 So that they could get the merchant of death released.

Ari Shaffir 24:19 We are the worst at han- Americans are so bad at, at handling things they don't know how to handle.

Joe Rogan 24:25 Mm.

Ari Shaffir 24:25 They just rush in full bore, going, "I know how to fix it," with no knowledge of it.

Joe Rogan 24:29 Well, it's also once a story gets out in any form, influencers cannot help talk about it.

Ari Shaffir 24:34 They can't help it.

Joe Rogan 24:35 It's their currency. There's no way they're not going to talk about it.

Ari Shaffir 24:38 Same as all the late night guys. They knew-After Trump won, that like talking about him helps him.

Joe Rogan 24:43 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 24:43 Before we said we're trying to take him down, but now we've seen the research. We know it's helping him. I'm still gonna do it, 'cause it's my money.

Joe Rogan 24:49 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 24:50 People get ratings.

Joe Rogan 24:50 They can't help it.

Ari Shaffir 24:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:51 They can't help it. Yeah. I mean, that's like CNN's most of their ratings were talking shit about Trump. Like every time he did something outrageous, they would, they would talk shit about him, and they would have him on, and it just made him more and more popular. Because I don't think they understood how much America's dis- Americans despised them. You know, they thought, "We're CNN. We are the news. We're CNN." And then because the fact that Trump was opposed to them, the, and they were, they just kept showing him, they're like, "Oh, he must be good, 'cause you guys suck."

Ari Shaffir 25:26 Right. You ever hear the theory that, uh, terrorism and the US are symbiotic?

Joe Rogan 25:31 Uh, what's the theory? How's it work?

Ari Shaffir 25:33 Terrorism can't exist without the US dominating their countries.

Joe Rogan 25:38 Oh yeah, that makes sense.

Ari Shaffir 25:38 And, and the US, they can't keep funneling money to weapons without terrorists.

Joe Rogan 25:44 Well, US and Israel.

Ari Shaffir 25:45 Sure, sure, sure.

Joe Rogan 25:45 I mean, that's the thing where Hamas and-

Ari Shaffir 25:47 But it's like-

Joe Rogan 25:47 ... and, uh, Netanyahu, he famously said they were funding Hamas.

Ari Shaffir 25:51 We need them.

Joe Rogan 25:52 We ne- we, we, we, we, when we fund Hamas, we can control the height of the flame.

Ari Shaffir 25:56 For 9/11, like it-

Joe Rogan 25:58 Yeah

Ari Shaffir 25:58 ... it popped off a little high, but there was like, it's, it's, we need something to be like, "Hey, we're all against that."

Joe Rogan 26:03 Mm-hmm.

Ari Shaffir 26:03 And then that, those countries will be like, "Look, they're all against us." So they just like-

Joe Rogan 26:06 Yeah

Ari Shaffir 26:06 ... they need each other to keep growing.

Joe Rogan 26:08 Well, it makes sense, and also you need an enemy in order-

Ari Shaffir 26:11 You need an enemy

Joe Rogan 26:11 ... to get higher military contracts-

Ari Shaffir 26:13 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 26:13 ... higher budgets. I mean, if you don't have terrorism, how can you justify a trillion dollar military budget?

Ari Shaffir 26:20 Yeah, so you need to like say-

Joe Rogan 26:20 Yeah

Ari Shaffir 26:20 ... "Hey, they're a real threat." And like that's a f- 30 person group.

Joe Rogan 26:24 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 26:24 They're not coming for us, but like, "We gotta take them down. Look at the training they're doing." [laughs]

Joe Rogan 26:28 Did you ever see Jane's bit? [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 26:30 On monkey bars. They're on monkey bars doing their training.

Joe Rogan 26:33 I love that bit.

Ari Shaffir 26:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:35 I love that bit about how bad they are at jumping jacks. [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 26:38 [laughs] It's what-

Joe Rogan 26:39 So-

Ari Shaffir 26:39 ... fat people do to get in shape on The Biggest Loser.

Joe Rogan 26:41 Yeah. And they're stuck over there. Like shut up.

Ari Shaffir 26:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:44 They're not going over there. It's... And then I always wondered why we left behind all the shit. Like cynically, I'm like-

Ari Shaffir 26:51 But now you know

Joe Rogan 26:51 ... did we leave that stuff behind so that they could use it?

Ari Shaffir 26:55 The older I get, the less I think there's accidents. There's ineptitude for sure, but there's also like we've done the research, we know.

Joe Rogan 27:03 Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 27:04 At some point you know. There's bad moves you make here or there, but-

Joe Rogan 27:07 I mean, we left behind tanks and Black Hawk helicopters. Like what? We couldn't get those out? We had to leave right now?

Ari Shaffir 27:12 Well, you-

Joe Rogan 27:12 We were there for 20 years. All of a sudden we gotta get out right away?

Ari Shaffir 27:15 You don't wanna put a grenade in each one first before you go?

Joe Rogan 27:17 Right.

Ari Shaffir 27:17 Like what, what do you mean?

Joe Rogan 27:18 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 27:18 And also, those are still good. Yeah, we didn't get out like Vietnam.

Joe Rogan 27:22 Park them in a field and drop a fucking bomb on it. Yeah. You don't have to leave it there for the enemy.

Ari Shaffir 27:29 It's, it's-

Joe Rogan 27:30 For the Taliban, so they can keep the people under their thumb forever.

Ari Shaffir 27:33 Yeah, if you retreated last second, I could see it, but it wasn't that. And then you're like...

Joe Rogan 27:38 Yeah, they, they didn't have to leave when they l- the way they left was insane. When you see those, those ships that are, the, the planes that are flying away, and people are hanging onto the wheels of the plane and falling off 'cause they don't wanna be left behind.

Ari Shaffir 27:51 Because they know-

Joe Rogan 27:51 'Cause there's so many people that work with the Americans.

Ari Shaffir 27:53 You said you'd protect us over and over again.

Joe Rogan 27:55 Exactly.

Ari Shaffir 27:55 And then you're like, "Yeah, we've done this over and over again. We'll just say it."

Joe Rogan 27:57 Exactly.

Host 27:58 It says that we, it was, uh, equipment we gave to the Afghan state, so it wasn't, you know, it wasn't US equipment any longer.

Ari Shaffir 28:08 And it, and it's already given over to them?

Host 28:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:10 We gave it to the Afghan state-

Host 28:11 That's what this says

Joe Rogan 28:11 ... but not the Taliban.

Host 28:12 Well, the Taliban took over-

Joe Rogan 28:13 The national defense and security forces

Host 28:15 ... yeah, that'd be fine.

Joe Rogan 28:15 Right. And then it, there was not that many of them. And so the moment that we left, the Taliban just took everything.

Ari Shaffir 28:21 There's also like-

Joe Rogan 28:22 I guess

Ari Shaffir 28:23 ... what is the Taliban? We have this word on it. It's like an evil word, but are they just like the government in a lot of these places? Like the cartels in, in Colombia, they like build schools. They do bad shit, but they also are the government. They make sure the businesses run okay.

Joe Rogan 28:37 Mm-hmm.

Ari Shaffir 28:38 And so you have this idea cartel, it sounds like that, but it's like, it's more than that. I wonder how much of the Taliban is al- actually into terrorism, and how much is like just running day-to-day stuff.

Joe Rogan 28:46 Well, that's a good point, because in America, I mean, what are the pharmaceutical drug companies? I mean, how many people have d- we, we talked about this the other day. It's like 70,000 people died of opioid overdoses in America in 2024. 70,000.

Ari Shaffir 29:03 70,000.

Joe Rogan 29:03 70,000. So like, and a lot-

Ari Shaffir 29:05 Wow

Joe Rogan 29:05 ... of that is probably cartel fentanyl, but a lot of it is like p- flat out old school oxycodone. So it's like, what are they?

Ari Shaffir 29:14 What is that?

Joe Rogan 29:14 What are they, and how much are they donating-

Ari Shaffir 29:16 20, 29/11s-

Joe Rogan 29:16 ... to political campaigns?

Ari Shaffir 29:17 ... every year.

Joe Rogan 29:17 Yeah, right.

Ari Shaffir 29:18 But they do- you saw, what, the most effective thing of that Sackler with Ferris Bueller-

Joe Rogan 29:23 Mm-hmm

Ari Shaffir 29:23 ... that, that documentary series, whatever.

Joe Rogan 29:24 Yeah, Painkiller.

Ari Shaffir 29:26 Is they started every episode with a real person talking about how their son is dead.

Joe Rogan 29:31 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 29:32 Or, you know, something like that.

Joe Rogan 29:33 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 29:33 And, and then they, and you're like, "Oh my God, this makes it so real."

Joe Rogan 29:36 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 29:36 Painkiller, that's what it's called.

Joe Rogan 29:37 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 29:38 It was so good.

Joe Rogan 29:38 That's Peter Berg's. Yeah, we talked about that the other day. It's an-

Ari Shaffir 29:41 One of mine

Joe Rogan 29:42 ... amazing series. Amazing series. Like that, that-

Ari Shaffir 29:45 Yeah

Joe Rogan 29:45 ... Matthew Broderick plays such a good fucking creep. He did such a good job. God, that fucking, that show's so disturbing 'cause it's based on true story.

Ari Shaffir 29:54 And he's show a guy falling into the-

Joe Rogan 29:56 Mm-hmm

Ari Shaffir 29:57 ... despair, from being fine-

Joe Rogan 29:58 Yeah

Ari Shaffir 29:59 ... to just like, ugh.

Joe Rogan 30:01 Ooh, d- we all know somebody who got hooked.

Ari Shaffir 30:03 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 30:04 I, I, I mean, it's so potent. It's so powerful. And they told doctors, they told people, they told everybody that it wasn't even addictive. They knew it was addictive. They knew it, it operated on the same pa- I mean, that's in the Painkiller series.

Ari Shaffir 30:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:18 That it operates on the same pathway as heroin. Like you're saying that this is not addictive. This is a lie.

Ari Shaffir 30:24 Yeah, what they did there was go, i- if that movie is completely accurate, it's like, okay, so this is for heavily cancerous, like bedridden people that have a pain threshold of 8 to 10.

Joe Rogan 30:34 Mm-hmm.

Ari Shaffir 30:34 Like it'll be good for them. Why don't we just extend the pain threshold to 3 to 10?

Joe Rogan 30:38 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 30:38 And that allows a lot more people in. If you're at a 9, it doesn't matter if I get addicted, my life is awful right now.

Joe Rogan 30:44 Right, right.

Ari Shaffir 30:44 If you're at a 3, like walk it off.

Joe Rogan 30:47 Exactly. I talked about when I got my nose fixed, when the doctor tried to give me two different opiates, and I was like-

Ari Shaffir 30:53 Why?

Joe Rogan 30:54 Like, I, I, it was nothing. I mean, it didn't even hurt. It was just mildly uncomfortable, and that was also because it was stuffed up with gauze. Like, those, it wasn't even gauze. It was, like, these foam things with a tube that they stuff in your nose to keep your nostrils open while it's healing. But it, you know, he gave me two different opiates, and I was like, "Is it gonna get worse than this?" 'Cause I don't-

Ari Shaffir 31:15 I'm fine

Joe Rogan 31:15 ... I'm fine. It doesn't-

Ari Shaffir 31:16 Yeah, they don't tell you, "But be careful. I would not take it unless you absolutely need it."

Joe Rogan 31:19 No, they don't tell you any of that. They want you to do it because they're financially incentivized.

Ari Shaffir 31:22 I got a wisdom tooth out, and, uh, the dentist was like, um... I was like, "Hey, I don't want to, like, get-"

Joe Rogan 31:28 Why'd you get a wisdom tooth out? Did it hurt?

Ari Shaffir 31:31 I don't remember. It was so long ago.

Joe Rogan 31:33 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 31:34 It was like 8:15, 18 years ago.

Joe Rogan 31:35 What's the, what's the logic on that? Are you supposed to get wisdom teeth taken out?

Ari Shaffir 31:39 And I've had both out.

Joe Rogan 31:40 'Cause I've had people s- I've heard people say you shouldn't. Like, there's no reason to take them out.

Ari Shaffir 31:44 I don't know. Why do you, though? Do they get impacted or something?

Joe Rogan 31:46 I don't know.

Speaker 31:47 Often they grow in, they're growing in wrong, and they cause problems with other teeth.

Ari Shaffir 31:52 It had to be that.

Joe Rogan 31:53 But-

Ari Shaffir 31:53 But he, he gave me this thing of Vicodin, and I was like, "I don't wanna..." He, and he goes, "You're friends with comedians, right?" And I was like, "Yeah." He goes, "Your f- your friends will want it, whatever you don't eat."

Joe Rogan 32:01 What the fuck?

Ari Shaffir 32:01 "Whatever you don't eat. I'm sure you can find..." He was joking around, but he was right. I have tons of addict friends. [laughs] They-

Joe Rogan 32:06 Of course

Ari Shaffir 32:06 ... they are all like, "Noice." [laughs]

Joe Rogan 32:08 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 32:09 Advising me to take aspirin. [laughs] Not use up one of those precious Vicodins.

Joe Rogan 32:12 I took that stuff once when I had my first ACL reconstruction, and it was, it made me so stupid.

Ari Shaffir 32:19 Vicodin?

Joe Rogan 32:20 Yeah, I think it was Vicodin. It was either Vicodin or Percocet, I can't remember, but I think it was Vicodin. But I wound up selling it at the pool hall.

Ari Shaffir 32:26 Yeah, sell it. Get some money.

Joe Rogan 32:28 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 32:28 Yeah. Do the right thing. And the only time I would advise taking Vicodin is if you have, like, two beers and really want a good night.

Joe Rogan 32:34 Really?

Ari Shaffir 32:35 Oh, yeah. Those go so well with, with liquor.

Joe Rogan 32:37 Is Vicodin an opiate? Is it, uh, the same thing as oxycodone? Like, what is Vicodin?

Ari Shaffir 32:42 It's a downer. I don't know what oxy does.

Joe Rogan 32:46 You're a downer. [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 32:48 [laughs]

Speaker 32:49 It's a, it com- [laughs] yeah, it combines hydrocodone and Tylenol.

Joe Rogan 32:55 Oh, Tylenol. Tylenol and hydrocodone.

Ari Shaffir 32:58 [laughs] Nice one, Joe.

Joe Rogan 33:01 A lot of people die from that shit, too.

Ari Shaffir 33:03 Tylenol?

Joe Rogan 33:04 Yeah. I was reading this sad story once about this lady who, she had COVID, and she was in so much pain from COVID that she kept taking Tylenol, and she died of a fucking liver failure.

Ari Shaffir 33:12 Ooh. What a-

Joe Rogan 33:13 'Cause the Tylen- the acetaminophen killed her liver.

Ari Shaffir 33:16 Sometimes you see people dying and you're like, "What a loser way to die."

Joe Rogan 33:20 [laughs] Oh, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 33:20 Fucking, you can't ever tell anybody. There's no victimhood. Aspirin overdose?

Joe Rogan 33:25 Oh.

Ari Shaffir 33:25 Dork.

Joe Rogan 33:25 That's crazy. How much aspirin do you have to take before you die? That seems nuts.

Ari Shaffir 33:30 I feel like all these middle school girls would try it before they had access to stuff.

Joe Rogan 33:34 Really? Oh, just for suicide?

Ari Shaffir 33:34 When they just want to be drama queens. Like, "I took a whole bottle of aspirin."

Joe Rogan 33:36 Oh, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 33:37 Like, all right.

Joe Rogan 33:37 Oh, I knew a girl who did exactly that thing, uh, exactly that in high school.

Ari Shaffir 33:40 Yeah, me too.

Joe Rogan 33:41 Yeah, she took aspirin.

Ari Shaffir 33:42 But then it's like-

Joe Rogan 33:42 Yeah

Ari Shaffir 33:42 ... that's not gonna do it.

Joe Rogan 33:43 Nothing happened. Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 33:44 But your call for attention is there.

Joe Rogan 33:46 She was also crazy annoying.

Ari Shaffir 33:48 [laughs] You're like, "Let me tell you how she had to do it."

Joe Rogan 33:50 But she had big tits and she fucked everybody. She was nuts.

Ari Shaffir 33:52 And I'll accept it.

Joe Rogan 33:54 This girl was a fucking freak. She fucked everybody. She was an animal. [laughs] Catholic schoolgirl.

Speaker 34:01 I just came across something weird.

Joe Rogan 34:03 What?

Speaker 34:03 Uh, I just typed in Tylenol deaths-

Joe Rogan 34:06 Mm

Speaker 34:06 ... and this thing came up, the Chicago Tylenol murders.

Joe Rogan 34:08 Ooh.

Speaker 34:09 It seems like it's an unsolved case.

Ari Shaffir 34:10 Drug tampering.

Speaker 34:11 Yeah, there was tampered Tylenol that people bought that was potassium cyanide. Seven people died.

Ari Shaffir 34:17 Yeah, they bro- that's when they start-

Speaker 34:18 Oh, I remember this

Ari Shaffir 34:18 ... that's when they started doing the seal on top.

Joe Rogan 34:20 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 34:20 Yeah, right?

Joe Rogan 34:21 Crazy. I remember this. I remember this.

Speaker 34:24 I think me too.

Joe Rogan 34:24 This is when I was in high school. Do they know why?

Speaker 34:28 Uh, the investigation suspects.

Joe Rogan 34:32 I wonder what the conspiracy-

Ari Shaffir 34:34 Yeah, what-

Joe Rogan 34:34 What's the tinfoil at?

Speaker 34:36 I think at the top it said someone recently was arrested. Uh, no suspect has been charged as of 2026.

Joe Rogan 34:40 Whoa. So a bunch of people died, and they just got away with it.

Speaker 34:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:44 Wow.

Speaker 34:45 Someone was convicted of extortion, sending a letter to Tylenol manufacturer claiming responsibility and demanding a million dollars.

Ari Shaffir 34:51 If I remember right-

Speaker 34:52 It was lying

Ari Shaffir 34:52 ... they said, they said we found out the in- the problem with one plant that had whatever, and we've, we've got... And someone else is like, "Well, okay, I bought this bottle before that happened, so this should be safe." And then it wasn't, and then it was like Tylenol or whatever was, like, covering up how bad it got.

Joe Rogan 35:08 Ah.

Ari Shaffir 35:08 Instead of going, "Recall everything."

Joe Rogan 35:10 Estimated 31 million bottles were in circulation with a retail value of over $100 million, equivalent to-

Ari Shaffir 35:16 Wow

Joe Rogan 35:16 ... 334 million in 2025. The company also advertised in the national media for individuals not to consume any of its products that contained acetaminophen after it was determined that only these capsules had been tampered with. Wow.

Speaker 35:31 There's other ones in California that strip nine of them.

Joe Rogan 35:33 Wow. So that's probably one of those things, too. There's copycats, right? Like, one person hears about someone buying poisoned Tylenols, they-

Ari Shaffir 35:42 "I wanna do that."

Joe Rogan 35:42 Yeah. "I wanna poison people in Ohio."

Ari Shaffir 35:44 Hacks.

Joe Rogan 35:44 "I wanna poison..." Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 35:45 Fucking hacks.

Joe Rogan 35:46 Fucking hacks. Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 35:46 Get your own shit.

Joe Rogan 35:47 Fucking hacks. Yeah. [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 35:49 Just be original. Be awful and evil, but be original. There's so many of those, like the Tylenol, where you're like, "Wait, were you guys evilly covering this up and resulting in more deaths?" That, that I found out down there was, like, Coca-Cola, Dole. We're like, "Oh, these are, like, evil corporations."

Joe Rogan 36:05 As soon as they realize that they're... You know the Pinto story?

Ari Shaffir 36:08 Uh-uh.

Joe Rogan 36:09 [sighs]

Ari Shaffir 36:10 The, the Mis- the, the-

Joe Rogan 36:10 So Ford found out... Let's, let's-

Ari Shaffir 36:13 Oh, yeah

Joe Rogan 36:13 ... research this to make sure this is true.

Ari Shaffir 36:15 They were blowing up.

Joe Rogan 36:15 Because someone brought it up on the podcast. They were blowing up.

Ari Shaffir 36:18 I think I've rear-ended.

Joe Rogan 36:18 And they realize it's cheaper to just pay people off that died from their car being blown up than it is to recall all these Ford Pintos.

Ari Shaffir 36:29 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 36:29 'Cause the Pinto had, like, the gas stat- the gas tank, rather, was in the back.

Ari Shaffir 36:32 Yeah, something like that.

Joe Rogan 36:33 And there was something about the design where if you got rear-ended it would blow up.

Ari Shaffir 36:37 And it was just, they just did a dollar value on it.

Joe Rogan 36:39 Yeah. Somebody did. I wanna say Fo- I wanna s- you know, you say Ford, but really it's a person. It's, it's not the Ford of today.

Speaker 36:47 Would this-

Joe Rogan 36:47 It's some guy

Speaker 36:48 ... would that be a thing-

Ari Shaffir 36:48 Cool car

Speaker 36:49 ... pre-production crash test?

Joe Rogan 36:50 Yeah. Investigators and lawsuits showed that pre-production crash tests had already revealed this vulnerability.

Ari Shaffir 36:55 Wow.

Joe Rogan 36:55 But the car still went to market largely unchanged.Yeah. Who told us about this?

Speaker 37:01 Yeah, I'll check.

Ari Shaffir 37:02 I kinda remember that.

Joe Rogan 37:04 It's one of our guests explained that to us, and it was just like, oh, God.

Ari Shaffir 37:08 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 37:08 It's so dark. It's such a fucking dark, evil thing to do to say, "Well, people are gonna die, but we'll just pay them off."

Ari Shaffir 37:15 What's the number?

Joe Rogan 37:17 Yeah, what is the number? First of all, the car sucked.

Ari Shaffir 37:20 It's a Pinto.

Joe Rogan 37:20 Why'd you make it in the first place? It's a terrible-

Ari Shaffir 37:22 It's so ugly, too

Joe Rogan 37:23 ... shitty fucking-

Ari Shaffir 37:23 It kinda looks cool now, but-

Joe Rogan 37:24 No, it doesn't.

Ari Shaffir 37:25 [laughs] It's got that sun- sun deck in the back.

Joe Rogan 37:28 Garbage. Garbage car. It was a garbage car.

Ari Shaffir 37:30 So Coca-Cola would have people, just like if you were like a leftist leader running for whatever, they were worried that if that person got in power, they would unionize their population, and that would cost them more money in the plants.

Joe Rogan 37:43 Mm-hmm.

Ari Shaffir 37:44 And they would just have people straight killed. Straight up-

Joe Rogan 37:47 Jeez

Ari Shaffir 37:47 ... mur- get them out of the way.

Joe Rogan 37:48 Coca-Cola had people whacked?

Ari Shaffir 37:49 Dole used to be the American Fruit Company.

Joe Rogan 37:51 Have a Coke and a smile? They had people whacked?

Ari Shaffir 37:55 James, I mean, look it up. But like-

Joe Rogan 37:56 But see, when you say Coke-

Ari Shaffir 37:57 ... when you start looking at-

Joe Rogan 37:58 ... it's probably an executive somewhere, probably an executive-

Ari Shaffir 38:02 They didn't do a big like vote

Joe Rogan 38:03 ... House of Cards style, who had some guy who was a, a fixer for him.

Ari Shaffir 38:07 Right.

Joe Rogan 38:07 And he's like, "Look, these motherfuckers are causing problems." And this guy was concerned with his job as whatever, CEO-

Ari Shaffir 38:16 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 38:16 ... executive.

Ari Shaffir 38:17 But it's happened over a long period of time. They were giving money to f- I think FARC or something in Colombia after they were already labeled like a terrorist organization. They're still giving them money.

Joe Rogan 38:25 Oy.

Speaker 38:26 For decades, Coca-Cola's faced several out- severe allegations regarding the murder and intimidation of union leaders at bottling plants in Colombia and Guatemala.

Ari Shaffir 38:35 They hired-

Joe Rogan 38:36 God

Ari Shaffir 38:36 ... paramilitary death squads to suppress labor activism.

Joe Rogan 38:40 [sighs]

Ari Shaffir 38:40 That's like, "Oh, what? They, they want an honest like day's pay? Get rid of him."

Joe Rogan 38:47 You know, do you remember when Ross Perot was-

Ari Shaffir 38:49 Wow

Joe Rogan 38:49 ... running for president? You were too young.

Ari Shaffir 38:51 I barely remember-

Joe Rogan 38:52 Probably

Ari Shaffir 38:52 ... but sort of.

Joe Rogan 38:52 I was just starting to be aware of how fucked up politics were. And because he was on television explaining about the World Trade Organization, about when they were going to, um, start opening up plants in Mexico and moving jobs to Mexico.

Ari Shaffir 39:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:09 He's like, "What you're, what you're gonna hear is a giant sucking sound, where all the money and jobs are gonna go down to Mexico." And what we allowed during that time was essentially what the labor unions were doing in this country, was making sure that people had a, a great wage because the corporations were getting paid well. So the CEOs wanted all the money, like they always do. The corporation wanted all the money. But you really can't make a Mustang unless you have the people that are on the assembly line, unless you have the people that are doing all the hard labor and all the work.

Ari Shaffir 39:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:47 And they should get compensated correctly. And so the auto w- auto unions workers organized it, and they went on strike and they did the, they did what they had to do, and they were making a great living. They were making a great living, and these people had a nice house, and they had a car and a garage, and it felt good that they were getting paid really well. And so a lot of people thought, "Well, they're getting paid too well, and this is fucking up our profits."

Ari Shaffir 40:10 Wow.

Joe Rogan 40:10 And so what... And I'm simplifying this, if you're a-

Ari Shaffir 40:13 Take 10 bucks from a million people-

Joe Rogan 40:14 ... an historian

Ari Shaffir 40:14 ... instead of let the top guys make a million less.

Joe Rogan 40:17 So what they did is just open up a plant in Mexico and pay people fucking slave labor, and they go over there and they pay them slave wages, and these people are making cars for like fucking how much, a dollar a day or something like that, instead of getting healthcare and retirement-

Ari Shaffir 40:33 It's a highway to society

Joe Rogan 40:33 ... and, you know. And so great.

Ari Shaffir 40:35 That's what we're talking about. The free market says go to Mexico. The moral market says, "No, no, no, no, no. Hold on."

Joe Rogan 40:41 God.

Ari Shaffir 40:41 "Let's just pay people what they deserve here."

Joe Rogan 40:42 But it's not just that, but they destroyed Detroit.

Ari Shaffir 40:46 That's right.

Joe Rogan 40:47 That's Roger & Me, that documentary. Michael Moore's greatest documentary is all... His first one is his best one.

Ari Shaffir 40:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:54 Because it, it's really documenting an horrific attack on Detroit and, and Flint, Michigan, and all those places up there, where there's all these auto plants and they all just went away, man. And those jobs went away, and now Detroit is... Detroit's kind of bouncing back now.

Ari Shaffir 41:10 It's coming back. Danny was talking about at Brown, where he was like just before COVID it was like starting to be like some cool new restaurants and like-

Joe Rogan 41:17 Yeah

Ari Shaffir 41:17 ... really coming back. Then COVID kind of nailed it down again, and now it's, I think back, back, going back up again.

Joe Rogan 41:21 They have some cool stuff in there. I mean, there's, there's a bunch of companies that are like proudly like made in Detroit.

Ari Shaffir 41:27 Underrated pizza.

Joe Rogan 41:28 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 41:29 Detroit pizza.

Joe Rogan 41:29 Oh, really?

Ari Shaffir 41:30 Square. Yeah, it's really good.

Joe Rogan 41:31 Square?

Ari Shaffir 41:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:31 Interesting.

Ari Shaffir 41:32 Yeah. Crispy like on every s- bite, on every slice.

Joe Rogan 41:35 Huh. Oh, okay.

Ari Shaffir 41:36 'Cause it's not thick crust square. It's like that thin crust square.

Joe Rogan 41:39 Mm.

Ari Shaffir 41:39 It's really good.

Joe Rogan 41:40 Isn't it funny that we want it in a circle? I want it in a circle.

Ari Shaffir 41:43 Why?

Joe Rogan 41:44 I don't know.

Ari Shaffir 41:44 Odd.

Joe Rogan 41:45 It's weird.

Ari Shaffir 41:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:46 You get committed to it.

Ari Shaffir 41:47 You get committed.

Joe Rogan 41:47 It's like we don't get committed to that with a sandwich. Like if I go to a Jewish deli-

Ari Shaffir 41:51 Yeah

Joe Rogan 41:51 ... and I get a square sandwich, I don't say, "No, I want it like a hoagie."

Ari Shaffir 41:55 [laughs] Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:56 "I want it to look like a submarine."

Ari Shaffir 41:58 It doesn't look right.

Joe Rogan 41:59 Right. You know, like no one cares.

Ari Shaffir 42:01 No one cares, the shape.

Joe Rogan 42:02 No. If it's a really good sandwich... But some people do. Like if you give them a cheeseburger, but it's on bread, they're like, "What is this bullshit?"

Ari Shaffir 42:08 What the fuck?

Joe Rogan 42:09 "Square bullshit."

Ari Shaffir 42:10 I do like that.

Joe Rogan 42:10 "I want a round bun, motherfucker."

Ari Shaffir 42:12 Yeah, on rye bread. Like, no.

Joe Rogan 42:13 Yeah, what is this? Rye bread is for pastrami.

Ari Shaffir 42:17 [laughs] I like the way I grew up. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:17 Don't give me rye bread with a fucking cheeseburger, you communist.

Ari Shaffir 42:21 Is my name Reuben? Then why you giving me something that looks like a fucking Reuben?

Joe Rogan 42:24 Yeah. What is this? Like if you buy an Italian sandwich, it has to come on a big old fucking hoagie roll. A ciabatta. You know, one of those big fucking seeded-

Ari Shaffir 42:33 Big, yeah

Joe Rogan 42:33 ... yeah, that's what you want.

Ari Shaffir 42:35 All bread.

Joe Rogan 42:36 It's weird that we want our pizza to only be circular.

Ari Shaffir 42:38 And then what's weird too is you're not eating it in the round version.

Joe Rogan 42:41 Right.

Ari Shaffir 42:42 You're eating it in this weird triangle.

Joe Rogan 42:43 Right. You're eating it in a wedge.

Ari Shaffir 42:44 Just an edge of round. That edge could be-

Joe Rogan 42:46 You know what I've seen that deeply disturbs me?

Ari Shaffir 42:48 Oh, no.

Joe Rogan 42:48 When t- people take a circular pizza and then they chop it up into a bunch of squares. I'm like, "What have you done?"

Speaker 42:54 No, no, that's the Ohio style.

Joe Rogan 42:56 Is that what it is?

Ari Shaffir 42:56 What? Really?

Speaker 42:57 Yeah, I mean-

Joe Rogan 42:57 That's what it's called?

Speaker 42:58 Or, or pub style.

Joe Rogan 42:59 Oh, okay.

Ari Shaffir 43:00 So you split it up a lot.

Speaker 43:01 So it's more shareable. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:02 That makes kinda sense, but not for a-

Speaker 43:04 You, you bring one pizza into the bar and now fucking 10 people can get a bite as opposed to-

Joe Rogan 43:08 How about just order more pizza?

Ari Shaffir 43:08 I guess the o- the only other way is to make slices like that thinLike real thin, like long, but that's not fun

Joe Rogan 43:14 We also have edge to edge toppings. That's a thing.

Ari Shaffir 43:15 Edge to edge toppings is big.

Joe Rogan 43:15 How many pizzas has Dave Portnoy sold, if you really stop and think about it?

Ari Shaffir 43:21 A lot.

Joe Rogan 43:21 Dave Portnoy is probably responsible for more pizza sales in this country than any other living human being.

Ari Shaffir 43:27 Yeah, probably.

Joe Rogan 43:28 Yeah, 'cause I watch his pizza reviews, I wanna go b- get a pizza.

Ari Shaffir 43:32 He gives it to you honest.

Joe Rogan 43:33 Yeah. Oh, he's very good at it.

Ari Shaffir 43:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:34 I mean, he really loves pizza, too. Like, though, you can tell. Like, this is a... He's not making any money off of that.

Ari Shaffir 43:39 No, he's really not. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 43:40 No.

Ari Shaffir 43:41 Just likes some pizzas, but-

Joe Rogan 43:41 It's a labor of love. He likes it. It's fun for him, and it's become a thing. And he, and he gets in arguments with pizza p- places sometimes. Like, they yell at him.

Ari Shaffir 43:49 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:50 He yells at them.

Ari Shaffir 43:50 "You can't film in here." He's like, "Fuck you."

Joe Rogan 43:51 They throw shit at him.

Ari Shaffir 43:52 Yeah. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 43:52 It's, like, really kinda crazy.

Ari Shaffir 43:54 "I'll film what I want." [laughs] That's so great.

Joe Rogan 43:56 But I've, I've gone to places because he recommended them. Like, if I'm, I find out that I'm in a town and I know that there's pizza there, I'm like, "What does Portnoy think?"

Ari Shaffir 44:04 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You want a local rec. It's always better than Google.

Joe Rogan 44:09 No one, no one's done that with anything else. Like, what other celebrity's done that with any other kind of food, where they go places and review it?

Ari Shaffir 44:15 There's a guy in New York, not a celebrity, but he was, his goal was to search out every single slice in New York, it took him years, and then name the best ones.

Joe Rogan 44:23 Boy, how would you know? How are you gonna compare a slice to a slice you had a year ago?

Ari Shaffir 44:27 It's... Right. I guess you gotta r- yeah, you really gotta know.

Joe Rogan 44:30 How you gonna know?

Ari Shaffir 44:31 You can instantly go, "No."

Joe Rogan 44:33 Oh.

Ari Shaffir 44:33 But yeah, anything that's good, you gotta go back and forth.

Joe Rogan 44:36 Plus, it's super subjective.

Ari Shaffir 44:38 Obviously.

Joe Rogan 44:39 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 44:40 You gotta go cheese.

Joe Rogan 44:42 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 44:42 No matter, you gotta compare cheese to cheese.

Joe Rogan 44:43 Right. It has to be just plain cheese pizza.

Ari Shaffir 44:46 Plain cheese, which is a classic.

Joe Rogan 44:47 It's so good.

Ari Shaffir 44:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:48 I mean, other pizzas are great, but man, a really good plain cheese pizza is fucking phenomenal.

Ari Shaffir 44:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:55 Especially if it's done well.

Ari Shaffir 44:58 Fresh out. Here's the secret, too, if you're in New York. Underrated tip. I told Ruddy this. He's going to New York. Fat guy.

Joe Rogan 45:05 Mm-hmm.

Ari Shaffir 45:05 So he's gonna wanna, like, get some tips. I was like, "No matter what you were gonna get, just say, 'Do you have anything fresh coming out?'"

Joe Rogan 45:10 Oh.

Ari Shaffir 45:10 And if they say, "It's gonna be, like, 10 more minutes."

Joe Rogan 45:12 Oh, wait.

Ari Shaffir 45:12 Say, "It's okay, I'll wait." That's what you want.

Joe Rogan 45:14 It's like when you go to Krispy Kreme and they got the serve, the hot doughnuts, when they're coming out hot.

Ari Shaffir 45:18 The light. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:18 Ooh.

Ari Shaffir 45:19 The light's on.

Joe Rogan 45:19 With that light's on. If I'm thinking about having a, when I used to live in LA-

Ari Shaffir 45:23 Yeah

Joe Rogan 45:23 ... there was a Krispy Kreme down the street, like, it was on the way home.

Ari Shaffir 45:27 Yeah. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 45:27 And if I drive by, if that fucking hot, the hot light was on, I'm like, "I'm pulling in."

Ari Shaffir 45:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:32 "I'm getting a hot one." Those-

Ari Shaffir 45:34 So much better. They're warmed up.

Joe Rogan 45:36 Oh, it's so much better. Like, when they come right out, and the glazed ones that are coming right out hot.

Ari Shaffir 45:41 The plain ones.

Joe Rogan 45:41 Like, they just dissolve in your mouth.

Ari Shaffir 45:44 Yep, yep.

Joe Rogan 45:44 Right there. Oh.

Ari Shaffir 45:46 And good for you.

Joe Rogan 45:48 Oh, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 45:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:48 It's better than, better than vitamins.

Ari Shaffir 45:50 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 45:51 [laughs] Look at that. It, it, uh, cures diabetes.

Ari Shaffir 45:55 You have all dough, and you're like, "Let's put s-," with sugar in it.

Joe Rogan 45:57 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 45:57 Like, "Let's put s- let's put sugar on top." [laughs]

Joe Rogan 45:59 Let's fully overwhelm your system. I remember I would eat them, and then I would go back to my house, and I'd go, "What was, what's wrong with you?"

Ari Shaffir 46:06 What? [laughs]

Joe Rogan 46:06 "Why did you do this? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Ari Shaffir 46:09 We've all been there.

Joe Rogan 46:10 You fucking idiot.

Ari Shaffir 46:11 "What the fuck's wrong with you?"

Joe Rogan 46:12 You feel so bad. 'Cause I would eat, like, a half a dozen, too. I'd eat, like, six doughnuts. I'd get a... I'd, I always buy, like, a box, and I'd eat half the box. I'd buy, like, a box of a dozen, and I'd buy, like, c- chocolate cream-filled and all the different ones, and I'd eat, like, six of them in my car-

Ari Shaffir 46:28 Right away

Joe Rogan 46:28 ... on my way home. And then I'd get home, and I'd be like, "Oh."

Ari Shaffir 46:31 Hurting. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 46:34 Just poisoned.

Ari Shaffir 46:34 An adult who's learned nothing about his body. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 46:37 39 years old, sitting on the couch, "Oh."

Ari Shaffir 46:42 I, when you have that after 23 years old, you're like, "What?" When you're hurting, you're like, "I just have to let this pass. I have to d- d- just, like, for an hour." You're like, "What a fucking loser."

Joe Rogan 46:51 You are a fucking loser, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 46:52 You ate yourself into feeling bad.

Joe Rogan 46:54 I do that all the time.

Ari Shaffir 46:55 Drinking, I get.

Joe Rogan 46:56 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 46:56 Sneaks up on you.

Joe Rogan 46:57 I eat, when, if I go to New York, every time I go to New York, I eat myself into a coma. I eat myself way too-

Ari Shaffir 47:03 Yeah

Joe Rogan 47:03 ... just way too fat. I get hurty, like, where my stomach's stretched out so much it hurts, 'cause I've got so much food in there, I really can't fit any more food.

Ari Shaffir 47:12 Oh.

Joe Rogan 47:12 And I look pregnant. My stomach sticks out.

Ari Shaffir 47:14 [laughs] You got a beer belly.

Joe Rogan 47:15 Oh, you look so awful. And it's all swollen and bloated, 'cause it's all the pasta and bread. It's all, the water and the wine, it's making it expand.

Ari Shaffir 47:25 Can't even think straight.

Joe Rogan 47:26 So it's like, "Blah."

Ari Shaffir 47:27 Your body's like, "Bring everything into the stomach right now."

Joe Rogan 47:29 Yeah. You have no... Like, if I had to pass a spelling bee, I, I'm fucked.

Ari Shaffir 47:33 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 47:33 My IQ dips by, like, 40 points. Yeah, it's, uh, it's terrible. I'm a glutton, too. I'm a br- I have a real problem with, like, volume. I just, when I start eating, I'm like a dog. I just keep eating. I just can't stop. Like, I'm good at not eating.

Ari Shaffir 47:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:49 Like, I can not eat for, like, 12, 16 hours.

Ari Shaffir 47:52 But once you get started.

Joe Rogan 47:52 But when I sit down for a meal, I j- or when I'm ordering. I think it comes from being poor when I was a kid, too. So it's like, there's something about, like, wanting, uh, uh, everything. I want it all. I want steak, I want pasta, I want this, I want that, I want that, that, that, do it all, and then

Ari Shaffir 48:05 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 48:06 ... [growls] And then after, you're like, "You never learn, you fucking idiot."

Ari Shaffir 48:10 Yeah, and you, you're like, You're like, "I've had about enough." And then you're like, "One more bite." And then you're like, and now if we're talking, like, I'm gonna eat, like, two more full plates worth as we're talking.

Joe Rogan 48:18 I remember we were in Atlanta once. This has happened more than once, but this one lady in Atlanta was, like, almost arguing with me. We went to-

Ari Shaffir 48:24 Too much food? [laughs]

Joe Rogan 48:24 Yeah, we went to a diner in Atlanta after our show. And this, I ordered two things. I ordered, like, meatloaf, and I ordered a steak. And she's like, "Oh, honey, that's too much food." I go, "No, it's not." I go, "I'm gonna eat it all."

Ari Shaffir 48:37 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 48:37 And she's like, "That is too much food." I go, "You don't know m- you don't know me."

Ari Shaffir 48:40 "You don't know you."

Joe Rogan 48:41 "You don't know me. I can consume, I will consume all of this. This is not a pro- I need this." But she-

Ari Shaffir 48:47 Yeah, when it's time for you to eat, you eat.

Joe Rogan 48:49 Especially also after shows, dude. Oh, God. You do fucking long-ass shows.

Ari Shaffir 48:53 I brought you and Goldy once to a hot dog.

Joe Rogan 48:56 [sighs]

Ari Shaffir 48:56 I was just like, there was... God, I was doing the early days of yours. Well, not early, but, like, mid-level days, and then high level days.

Joe Rogan 49:02 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 49:02 So I remember having more access than anyone could really get anymore.

Joe Rogan 49:05 Oh yeah, you were behind me in the... [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 49:09 [laughs] What?

Joe Rogan 49:09 I remember the time when the camera was on you and Duncan, so you guys made out.

Ari Shaffir 49:13 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 49:15 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 49:17 We were bored.

Joe Rogan 49:18 They timed it. So-

Ari Shaffir 49:19 And we noticed, we noticed the camera. We were sitting right behind you

Joe Rogan 49:22 ... so the way, they could see the monitor, so they were sitting behind me, so they knew what the camera was capturing.

Ari Shaffir 49:27 And we're like, "So we're on that camera, that guy's camera."

Joe Rogan 49:28 And so they waited, and then it, they, [laughs] just got it right here and in the middle.

Ari Shaffir 49:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:34 As soon as the camera's on you guys, just turned. [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 49:39 [laughs] Frosty died.

Joe Rogan 49:41 Oh my God. This is the early, early days.

Ari Shaffir 49:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:44 This is probably like 2002 or something like that. That was way back in the day.

Ari Shaffir 49:49 [laughs] And we're like... First, so first we're giving other-

Joe Rogan 49:51 Oh, my God.

Ari Shaffir 49:52 So Duncan was being accused of being an Illuminati a lot then.

Joe Rogan 49:55 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 49:55 So he goes, "Oh, there's a camera. I mean, I gotta do this thing." He goes, "What?" He goes, "It's just to stoke the flames, so we'll just do this."

Joe Rogan 50:00 Ugh, ugh.

Ari Shaffir 50:00 "We'll do triangles." At some point we made a big triangle with both our hands.

Joe Rogan 50:03 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 50:04 And then I think he said it. I don't know. It doesn't matter. One of us said it, the other reacted. He went, "Hey, next time we gotta kiss." And it was like, "Fuck, yes."

Joe Rogan 50:13 [laughs] I'm pretty sure it was Duncan.

Ari Shaffir 50:13 "Goddammit, yeah, you're right. We do."

Joe Rogan 50:16 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 50:16 It was like, "This is gonna be awful, but you have to."

Joe Rogan 50:19 That is, I didn't know about it till after it was over.

Ari Shaffir 50:21 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 50:21 People were like, "Your friends were kissing on camera."

Ari Shaffir 50:24 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 50:24 And I just, I, I literally couldn't breathe. I was like, "Oh, my God. Oh, my God." I go, "Show it to me. Show it to me." I like made the guys in the truck show me the video of it. I'm like, "Oh, my God, this is so funny."

Ari Shaffir 50:35 There was also, like, a wrestling moment.

Joe Rogan 50:37 Ugh.

Ari Shaffir 50:37 Or there was, there was a lot of wrestling in that fight, if I remember right. It's a long time ago, but there was a blog, it's like, from like a, an MMA blog, saying, "Two bored bearded dudes making out [laughs] during a, during a UFC fight."

Joe Rogan 50:52 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 50:53 [laughs] Dude-

Joe Rogan 50:54 Ugh

Ari Shaffir 50:54 ... you give a comic a camera on you, and we're like, "Let's go. We gotta do something."

Joe Rogan 50:57 Especially, like, you have six hours.

Ari Shaffir 51:00 Six hours.

Joe Rogan 51:00 Six hours of fights, so there's all this time to think. And they're not all exciting.

Ari Shaffir 51:04 No.

Joe Rogan 51:05 Some of them are fucking boring, and when they're boring, you gotta come up with different ways to entertain yourself.

Ari Shaffir 51:10 [sighs] Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:10 What you gonna do?

Ari Shaffir 51:12 I, yeah. [laughs] It was so fun. You could see the one that was on, and so like, when those fighters are in front of us...

Joe Rogan 51:17 This has gotta, I'm gonna fix this. [switch clicking] Like, it wants to work.

Ari Shaffir 51:23 It wants to work. [switch clicking]

Joe Rogan 51:28 [fan whirring] I wonder if this one works. Those are fun times. That was back when the UFC was like, no one was watching anyway.

Ari Shaffir 51:36 You could just do whatever. The weigh-ins was the best. We had a weigh-in in Florida, and it was just like, only the camps kinda came in.

Joe Rogan 51:42 Mm-hmm.

Ari Shaffir 51:43 And the Tapout guys, rest in peace, they would, they'd come in there... Well, just one rest in peace.

Joe Rogan 51:48 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 51:48 The other, live well. Um, but, uh, it was just like, you'd be in there, and I remember once you were like, "Hey, Ari, maybe I'll call you up to weigh, weigh in." [laughs]

Joe Rogan 51:58 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 51:58 And you could, you just could. And be like, "You wanna go now? All right." It was like, there was no real rules then. It was pretty-

Joe Rogan 52:04 Yeah

Ari Shaffir 52:04 ... pretty wild.

Joe Rogan 52:05 No one knew what was going on. "Ari Shaffir."

Ari Shaffir 52:07 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 52:08 And you would just walk out.

Ari Shaffir 52:09 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 52:10 Yeah, you could do anything back then. And then that was also a real weigh-in. That was when the guys actually would get on the scale. Now it's a ceremonial weigh-in.

Ari Shaffir 52:17 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 52:17 Yeah, because now the, they weigh in in advance because they wanna give them more time to recover.

Ari Shaffir 52:24 Oh, right.

Joe Rogan 52:24 The whole thing's gross. They shouldn't be weighing in in it. They shouldn't be cutting weight. To cut-

Ari Shaffir 52:28 As a casual fan, it's the most obvious one.

Joe Rogan 52:30 It's crazy.

Ari Shaffir 52:30 Make them weigh in at, at the event.

Joe Rogan 52:32 It's crazy. I mean, we've had long discussions. I had a discussion recently with Hunter Campbell where we're trying to figure out a way to blow up all the weight classes and make people fight at what their actual weight is.

Ari Shaffir 52:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:44 But you would have to, like, show up in camp, like, you know-

Ari Shaffir 52:48 Get to the right-

Joe Rogan 52:48 ... and, and just-

Ari Shaffir 52:49 ... exact right weight

Joe Rogan 52:49 ... weigh them.

Ari Shaffir 52:50 A pound or two below to, for safety.

Joe Rogan 52:52 But it would have to be random. Like, they couldn't know you were coming.

Ari Shaffir 52:55 Oh, like, oh, the whole way through it-

Joe Rogan 52:57 Uh-huh

Ari Shaffir 52:57 ... has to be at that weight.

Joe Rogan 52:58 Just show up. "What do you weigh?" Get on the scale. "185." "Bro, you're supposed to be fighting at 155. How the fuck are you 185?"

Ari Shaffir 53:05 It's dumb because you're not actually... You're, you're... It's like having field goals decide, like, an NFL game. It's like this is not-

Joe Rogan 53:12 Mm-hmm

Ari Shaffir 53:12 ... this is like a minor part of the sport.

Joe Rogan 53:13 Right.

Ari Shaffir 53:14 So that's like you're fighting a 185-er founding a- fighting against a 160 pound.

Joe Rogan 53:17 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 53:17 So you're not actually saying-

Joe Rogan 53:18 Well, the thing is they're-

Ari Shaffir 53:19 ... who's best at your class

Joe Rogan 53:20 ... at, in the elite levels, they're all doing it, so it's everybody's cheating. It's, it's sanctioned cheating. It's not cheating, 'cause it's legal. So it's sanctioned.

Ari Shaffir 53:26 But it's rewarding guys who know how to cut better than guys who don't, and as a casual fan, that's not what we're into.

Joe Rogan 53:32 It's also very biological.

Ari Shaffir 53:34 We're not looking at cutting.

Joe Rogan 53:34 So some people can cut weight very easily, and to some people it's a fucking grind.

Ari Shaffir 53:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:40 And it's way more of a grind for women. Women hold onto that water weight a lot harder than men do. So when a woman has to lose, like a woman has to cut, like, 20 pounds-

Ari Shaffir 53:49 They do it too?

Joe Rogan 53:49 ... it's p- yeah, man.

Ari Shaffir 53:51 Wow.

Joe Rogan 53:51 They cut weight. But apparently it's way more brutal for them.

Ari Shaffir 53:54 Interesting.

Joe Rogan 53:55 Yeah. It's fucking terrible. They should, they should, it, it should have never been in there in the first place, and they should figure out a way to get it out.

Ari Shaffir 54:02 What do they do in high school wrestling when people fight at, like, 112? That's just your weight, or do you cut for that?

Joe Rogan 54:06 You weigh in the day.

Ari Shaffir 54:07 Right.

Joe Rogan 54:07 The weigh-in-

Ari Shaffir 54:08 That's better

Joe Rogan 54:08 ... the day of, but it's still, you're still cutting weight. I, I weighed, I used to wrestle at 128, and then I wrestled at-

Ari Shaffir 54:14 128?

Joe Rogan 54:14 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 54:14 For a grown man? I mean, in high school-

Joe Rogan 54:16 14.

Ari Shaffir 54:16 Oh, okay. That's-

Joe Rogan 54:17 And then, uh, 134, and then I, I, 'cause I couldn't really make 128 anymore, and then when I started fighting in TaeKwonDo, I fought, my first fights were at 140. That was when I was, like, 15, 16. And then by, I, my last fight at 140, I was 17, and I was not 140. And I was starving myself, and I was cutting a bunch of water weight, and then I would fight dehydrated.

Ari Shaffir 54:40 Like fighters who do like models.

Joe Rogan 54:41 But I only did it one year. I only did it one year, and then I went up to 155, which was much better. That was easy, 'cause I didn't have to cut any weight, and I was way better then. But that thing where they do in wrestling, you're not getting hit in the head in wrestling, right? So it will deplete you, and so you have to make a decision like-

Ari Shaffir 54:56 It's just your muscles

Joe Rogan 54:57 ... how much am I gonna be depleted and wanna be the, the size bully and have a bigger frame and utilize it, but have depleted performance? Like, how much, how good of shape would I have to be in where that depletion only takes out a certain percentage of my ability? And so it's like this calculated thing. Like Kurt Angle, for instance. Kurt Angle, when he was an Olympic gold medalist, he didn't cut any weight, and he was a phenomenal wrestler. Kurt Angle was a fucking monster, and he was beating guys-

Ari Shaffir 55:26 Yeah

Joe Rogan 55:26 ... way bigger than him. But he had so much energy because he didn't cut weightAnd so he was wrestling against guys that did cut weight and-

Ari Shaffir 55:34 Scared of him

Joe Rogan 55:34 ... he was dominating them.

Ari Shaffir 55:35 Wow.

Joe Rogan 55:35 Yeah, because he was full strength.

Ari Shaffir 55:37 But they were bigger than him.

Joe Rogan 55:38 They were bigger than him.

Ari Shaffir 55:39 But they were just better, right.

Joe Rogan 55:39 But he had incredible skill, also strong as fuck anyway, and had no depletion of his resources. Like, his body was working at full capacity.

Ari Shaffir 55:49 It's like Greg Fitzsimmons in his prime. He would just fight anybody.

Joe Rogan 55:52 [laughs] Greg Fitzsimmons.

Ari Shaffir 55:53 He would just fight anybody. Oh, tiny little man.

Joe Rogan 55:54 It was like a-

Ari Shaffir 55:55 Fight anybody

Joe Rogan 55:56 ... he got attacked on stage at Stitches.

Ari Shaffir 55:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:58 And, um, the, the guy-

Ari Shaffir 56:00 Brawl got out of rush

Joe Rogan 56:00 ... at- attacked him, and they, they, fucking some brawl broke out, and they, they, the bouncers got in, they take the guy away, and then Greg gets on the microphone. Didn't even end the show. Gets on the microphone, he goes, "Anybody else want some of this?"

Ari Shaffir 56:11 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 56:11 And then the crowd starts, starts laughing. It was great. He finished his set.

Ari Shaffir 56:17 Wow.

Joe Rogan 56:17 He finished... He, great composure. Kept it together. Finished his set. Fucking fun, dude.

Ari Shaffir 56:23 Wow. [laughs] Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:26 But they should, they, they really should ban weight cutting. But the only way they're re- really ever gonna be able to do that is to make more weight classes. There's not enough weight classes.

Ari Shaffir 56:34 And that's, then you'll have the what... I don't understand enough to talk about it.

Joe Rogan 56:37 I think boxing has-

Ari Shaffir 56:38 But boxing you have, don't you have-

Joe Rogan 56:39 ... 18 weight classes.

Ari Shaffir 56:40 Yeah, don't you have, like, some, like, who cares weight classes?

Joe Rogan 56:43 Yeah, sort, there's sorta who cares.

Ari Shaffir 56:45 And if you really wanna get known, you gotta move up or down to like-

Joe Rogan 56:48 Yes

Ari Shaffir 56:48 ... one of the majors.

Joe Rogan 56:49 Well, you know what's weird? Like, 160 is a huge weight class. 147, hu- w- welterweight, huge weight class. Big, giant fights. Cruiserweight, which is, like, between light heavyweight and heavyweight, no one gives a fuck about.

Ari Shaffir 57:04 Wow. Why?

Joe Rogan 57:06 It's weird. It's just weird. And, like, nobody gives a shit about the cruiserweight champion. Like, Usyk, before he became the heavyweight champion, was the cruiserweight champion, and people cared about him just 'cause he was so skillful, but he had to go up to heavyweight before people cared.

Ari Shaffir 57:18 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 57:18 But if he was a light heavyweight, he would've been huge.

Ari Shaffir 57:20 Beyond. Shame on.

Joe Rogan 57:21 It's weird.

Ari Shaffir 57:21 Interesting.

Joe Rogan 57:22 Very weird. But I think boxing, how many weight classes does boxing have, professional boxing? I wanna say there's 18, whereas in the UFC there's only eight. It's a big difference.

Ari Shaffir 57:33 It's a big difference. You can, and you can follow champions better.

Joe Rogan 57:36 Yeah. But it's also, it's like-

Ari Shaffir 57:37 Even when Mighty Mouse came in, it was like, you have this dominant guy coming in-

Joe Rogan 57:41 Uh-huh

Ari Shaffir 57:42 ... to, to really launch the weight class, but people are like, "We don't know this weight class, so we're less interested in you than we should be."

Joe Rogan 57:48 Well, they, people have a thing about tiny people. They, they look at a small guy who's, like, 5'3" and weighs 125 pounds and they're like, "Nah, we don't care."

Ari Shaffir 57:55 Red-

Speaker 57:56 It's 17 here.

Joe Rogan 57:57 17.

Ari Shaffir 57:57 Red Ban said the 135ers and 125ers, they should have to come into the octagon on little mini horses and ride-

Joe Rogan 58:02 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 58:03 ... ride, ride around a couple times. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 58:08 [laughs] That's so rude. That is so rude.

Ari Shaffir 58:11 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 58:11 That is so... Well, what, what's also interesting is, like, flyweight women-

Ari Shaffir 58:14 Yeah

Joe Rogan 58:14 ... like Valentina Shevchenko, it's one of the premier weight classes in the women's division.

Ari Shaffir 58:18 'Cause that's heavy?

Joe Rogan 58:20 For a woman-

Ari Shaffir 58:21 Right

Joe Rogan 58:21 ... it's, like, normal size.

Ari Shaffir 58:22 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 58:22 125 is like a normal weight. It's like a man fighting at 160 or, you know, 170.

Ari Shaffir 58:28 Right.

Joe Rogan 58:28 It's normal. Weird.

Ari Shaffir 58:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:31 It's weird. But there's not enough weight classes, and they should've fixed that a long time ago. There's, well, there's giant gaps, like the gap between 185, which is, uh, middleweight, and then 205, which is light heavyweight. That's crazy.

Ari Shaffir 58:44 That's a big one.

Joe Rogan 58:44 It's a giant leap.

Ari Shaffir 58:45 And then everything else.

Joe Rogan 58:47 Well, not even. That's what's even stupider.

Ari Shaffir 58:50 285, yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:50 You get to wei- heavyweight at 265. That's the cutoff for heavyweight. So you have to weigh 265 or under.

Ari Shaffir 58:57 That's my favorite weigh-ins, 'cause they're still wearing their jeans. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 59:00 Right.

Ari Shaffir 59:00 Like, they don't really, they're like, "I'm inside of range."

Joe Rogan 59:02 Yeah. They don't give a fuck. But the, the, so ceremonial weigh-ins is what we have now. So when someone weighs in now, they've already weighed in in the morning in an official scale in front of, you know, doctors and state reps. The-

Ari Shaffir 59:15 Then they give them a chance to come back again

Joe Rogan 59:16 ... the athletic commission checks them out.

Ari Shaffir 59:18 It's so crazy how, how they do it.

Joe Rogan 59:19 And so then they just suck a bunch of water down, and electrolytes, and they slowly rehydrate over the-

Ari Shaffir 59:24 One spoon of peanut butter

Joe Rogan 59:25 ... four or five hours. Yeah. They have to do it slowly.

Ari Shaffir 59:27 The science is so crazy behind it.

Speaker 59:29 The heavyweight division is older than the United States.

Ari Shaffir 59:32 Wow.

Joe Rogan 59:32 Whoa.

Speaker 59:33 Officially. 1738.

Joe Rogan 59:35 Whoa.

Ari Shaffir 59:37 Weigh in as much as they want.

Joe Rogan 59:38 Whoa.

Speaker 59:39 Is that real?

Joe Rogan 59:40 So heavyweight was weight, they weighed 160 plus, since the division has no w-

Ari Shaffir 59:46 160 plus?

Joe Rogan 59:46 Yeah. People were tiny back then.

Ari Shaffir 59:48 Wa- oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:49 You know, Rocky Marciano-

Ari Shaffir 59:50 More GMOs

Joe Rogan 59:50 ... was, like, one of the great heavyweights of all time.

Ari Shaffir 59:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:52 He weighed 185 pounds.

Ari Shaffir 59:55 Wow.

Joe Rogan 59:55 So Rocky Marciano, the heavyweight champion of the world, one of the greatest of all time, weighed 15 pounds less than me.

Ari Shaffir 1:00:01 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:00:02 Yeah. Isn't that nuts?

Ari Shaffir 1:00:03 It's so different. If, do you ever look back at a fat guy from, like, Chris Farley types or whatever, and you're like-

Joe Rogan 1:00:07 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 1:00:07 ... "They're not even, they're just a little big."

Joe Rogan 1:00:09 Yeah. It's like normal fat.

Ari Shaffir 1:00:10 You look like a Steve Simone body.

Joe Rogan 1:00:11 Look at these guys back then when they wore diapers and shit. Like, what's that, what are you wearing?

Ari Shaffir 1:00:15 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:00:15 What's that thing around your waist?

Ari Shaffir 1:00:16 What is that? To wipe up blood?

Joe Rogan 1:00:19 And they all fought bare-knuckle back then, too.

Ari Shaffir 1:00:21 Oof. Quick fights.

Joe Rogan 1:00:23 Well, they just broke their hands a lot. They had a, they threw a lot of punches to the body back then, because they didn't wanna break their hands on people's heads.

Ari Shaffir 1:00:31 That was the biggest defense back then, the Brian Dennehy thing, where you just lower your head-

Joe Rogan 1:00:34 Yeah

Ari Shaffir 1:00:34 ... and make them punch you in the head and break-

Joe Rogan 1:00:35 Just lower your head.

Ari Shaffir 1:00:36 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 1:00:36 And the, they all boxed like this, too, where they would throw their knuckles out like that.

Ari Shaffir 1:00:40 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:00:41 Because if you just blast someone, you could blast someone like that if you have gloves on and hand wraps.

Ari Shaffir 1:00:47 The Stockton Slap would've gone a long way back then.

Joe Rogan 1:00:49 Oh, yeah. They would've been legendary.

Ari Shaffir 1:00:51 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:00:51 Slapped him. Yeah. It's, uh, it's funny how things change, and then how they go back to it, 'cause now bare-knuckle boxing is making a huge comeback.

Ari Shaffir 1:01:01 It's back, yeah. Seen chess boxing?

Joe Rogan 1:01:03 Oh, yeah, I've seen that. Yeah, it's ridiculous.

Ari Shaffir 1:01:05 It'd be fun. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:01:05 Just beat the shit out of each other and then play chess.

Ari Shaffir 1:01:07 They could play five minutes. Go back.

Joe Rogan 1:01:08 If you're a good boxer, like, you have a massive advantage. The guy just got a concussion. He doesn't even know what the knight does.

Ari Shaffir 1:01:14 [laughs] He's like, "Uh, like, you can't move that." They're like, "Oh, fuck."

Joe Rogan 1:01:16 I wonder whose idea that was. What kind of fucking psychopath?

Ari Shaffir 1:01:19 Who wants to combine those things?

Joe Rogan 1:01:21 Yeah. You, you, you, it'd have to be people that aren't that good at boxing and aren't that good at chess. 'Cause if somebody flat lines you and sends you to the hospital, you're not playing chess afterwards.

Ari Shaffir 1:01:30 Yeah. I mean-

Joe Rogan 1:01:30 So it has to be people that kind of suck at boxing.

Ari Shaffir 1:01:33 Kinda suck at boxing.

Joe Rogan 1:01:33 'Cause if you really, like-

Ari Shaffir 1:01:34 And are decent at chess

Joe Rogan 1:01:34 ... Mike Tyson somebody, you fucking KO them and they have to get carried out on a stretcher, well then you, by fault, won, by default, won the chess t- as well, 'cause they can't even play

Ari Shaffir 1:01:45 Yeah, just dusty boards

Joe Rogan 1:01:46 You have to take them to the hospital. How, how are they gonna play chess?

Ari Shaffir 1:01:49 [laughs] I don't even understand the rules there

Speaker 1:01:51 You have to have, you have to have a minimum of 1800 in chess to be a competitor

Ari Shaffir 1:01:54 What is that? What's 1800?

Speaker 1:01:56 I would imagine pretty good

Ari Shaffir 1:01:57 Is that a score? What does that mean?

Speaker 1:01:59 Yeah

Ari Shaffir 1:01:59 There's scores in chess?

Speaker 1:02:00 Like a, like a golf hand- handicap

Joe Rogan 1:02:01 Scoring

Speaker 1:02:01 Yeah, it's something like that

Ari Shaffir 1:02:02 Wow

Joe Rogan 1:02:03 So what is, like, Magnus Carlsen, the guy that was on the podcast, what does he have? What's his rating?

Speaker 1:02:07 Uh, let's see. I'll just type that

Ari Shaffir 1:02:09 He plays poker too, that guy

Joe Rogan 1:02:10 Does he?

Speaker 1:02:10 This is... So you'd be in the top five to 10% of players

Joe Rogan 1:02:13 Super smart dude

Ari Shaffir 1:02:13 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:02:13 Super smart

Ari Shaffir 1:02:14 He's like the math guy

Joe Rogan 1:02:15 He's one of those dudes, you talk to him, like there's some guys you talk to them, like oh, there's a lot working on behind those eyes. It's like, so if you were high around that guy, you'd probably get weirded out.

Ari Shaffir 1:02:23 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:02:23 Be like, "Oh"

Ari Shaffir 1:02:23 He'd read my soul

Joe Rogan 1:02:24 "... you're an alien"

Speaker 1:02:26 He's a to- 2840

Joe Rogan 1:02:28 [grunts]

Ari Shaffir 1:02:28 Wow. Way better

Speaker 1:02:30 Jesus

Ari Shaffir 1:02:30 Way better

Joe Rogan 1:02:30 What is the highest ranked chess player alive today?

Ari Shaffir 1:02:32 Good question, Joe

Speaker 1:02:33 I think that'd be him

Joe Rogan 1:02:34 Thank you

Speaker 1:02:34 That'd be him

Ari Shaffir 1:02:35 Oh, really?

Speaker 1:02:36 Yeah. He peaked at 2882, the highest in history

Joe Rogan 1:02:39 [clears throat] That's crazy. That is crazy

Ari Shaffir 1:02:44 Wow. What about that schizo Jew turned Arab, whatever his name is?

Joe Rogan 1:02:47 Which g- uh, which g- [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 1:02:49 The, the, the fucking boy. The boy who went schizo

Joe Rogan 1:02:52 Schizo Jew turned Arab?

Ari Shaffir 1:02:54 Yeah. Wasn't there some-

Joe Rogan 1:02:55 Bobby Fischer? Is that who you're talking about?

Ari Shaffir 1:02:56 Bobby Fischer, yeah

Joe Rogan 1:02:56 Oh. [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 1:02:56 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:03:00 I had to translate it.

Ari Shaffir 1:03:01 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:03:01 Oh yeah, he became, like, very anti-Semitic, right?

Ari Shaffir 1:03:04 I don't know

Speaker 1:03:05 He's very close. 2785

Ari Shaffir 1:03:07 He... So Magnus is better than him?

Speaker 1:03:09 Yeah

Ari Shaffir 1:03:09 Wow

Speaker 1:03:09 I mean, if, if Magnus is the best ever

Joe Rogan 1:03:11 Yeah, Magnus-

Ari Shaffir 1:03:12 Best ever. Oh, okay

Joe Rogan 1:03:13 ... he's the best ever. He's a fucking super genius. So what happened with Bobby Fischer?

Speaker 1:03:17 This actually has him rated maybe one point below Magnus's peak. 2881, one year performance it says. I don't know how-

Joe Rogan 1:03:23 Bobby Fischer?

Speaker 1:03:23 Yeah, it's based off of, like, who you're playing, when you're playing them, and how old, like, you know-

Joe Rogan 1:03:27 Oh, right

Speaker 1:03:27 ... how good they are at the time, and obviously-

Ari Shaffir 1:03:28 It's like golf. It's like who's in the tournament

Speaker 1:03:30 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:03:30 Mm. Yeah, but that happens. Like, pool has ratings. They have a Fargo rating, and e- they d- they also do it per game. Like I was... There's this guy, he, he just died recently, uh, Chang Jung Lin, and he's this dude from, um, from Taiwan, and he played at 1,000. 1,000 was his w- for one game

Ari Shaffir 1:03:52 He couldn't get a game

Joe Rogan 1:03:53 But not for one game, excuse me, for, like, one match

Ari Shaffir 1:03:55 And what would he have to give to you or to, to me?

Joe Rogan 1:03:58 Oh, it would be pointless. He'd just destroy us

Ari Shaffir 1:04:00 Be pointless

Joe Rogan 1:04:00 Just as soon as y- he never missed. That means he played it-

Ari Shaffir 1:04:03 He'd be like, "Make a ball and you win"

Joe Rogan 1:04:04 There's another guy, this guy who's also from Taiwan, um, Ko Pin-chung, and he played an entire match where he never missed a ball. He won 11 to nothing against another world-class player

Ari Shaffir 1:04:15 Who didn't get a, who lost a coin flip to start and then-

Joe Rogan 1:04:17 Yeah, he, he lost their lag

Ari Shaffir 1:04:19 Oh

Joe Rogan 1:04:19 The lag, and I think he-

Ari Shaffir 1:04:21 That's it, the guy didn't touch the cue?

Joe Rogan 1:04:23 He broke and left a long shot on the one ball, and the guy missed that, and he never made a ball. Not, he didn't make one ball the entire, every... There was a couple times-

Ari Shaffir 1:04:32 And winner goes first. Winner goes first, yeah

Joe Rogan 1:04:33 There, it was a couple t- those w- winner breaks

Ari Shaffir 1:04:36 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:04:36 So every time he broke, he, and he was making the one ball on the side, like, every game. And every time he didn't have a shot, he would just play a lockup safety, and the guy would kick and then leave a shot, and then he would run out again

Ari Shaffir 1:04:47 Wow

Joe Rogan 1:04:47 He would just, he got, just got in the zone. So he played at a 1,000 Fargo for the entire match

Ari Shaffir 1:04:53 Wow

Joe Rogan 1:04:54 That's crazy. That means he never missed a ball on four-inch pockets

Ari Shaffir 1:04:59 Oh, really tiny ones too

Joe Rogan 1:05:00 Tiny little pockets. There's people that are like-

Ari Shaffir 1:05:04 It's amazing how big pool is too across the world, and billiards too

Joe Rogan 1:05:07 Uh-huh. In, in, in Asia it's huge

Ari Shaffir 1:05:10 Asia's huge. Dude, you find people with just an overhang-

Joe Rogan 1:05:13 Mm-hmm

Ari Shaffir 1:05:13 ... just so it doesn't get wet, and they're all out there playing in, in just, like, flip-flops and..

Joe Rogan 1:05:17 Well, we're losing a lot of the top, uh, Taiwanese and Chinese players to a game that they play in China now, where it's like a snooker table. It doesn't look like a pool table. Like, the, the pockets aren't cut the same way. They're rounded. But they're playing nine ball, and they're playing with, like, p- purses for, like... Top, top purse is, like, $600,000 for a tournament.

Ari Shaffir 1:05:40 Wow

Joe Rogan 1:05:40 $700,000

Ari Shaffir 1:05:40 Wow

Joe Rogan 1:05:41 So they're all going over there and playing in that, because you can make millions in a year instead of a couple hundred grand, which is, like, what the best players make in America

Ari Shaffir 1:05:48 That's why women were going to fucking Russia to play basketball

Joe Rogan 1:05:50 Oh, right

Ari Shaffir 1:05:51 Until now

Joe Rogan 1:05:52 Until now

Ari Shaffir 1:05:52 When-

Joe Rogan 1:05:53 Well, just don't bring weed, you know? God

Ari Shaffir 1:05:55 I mean, it's just, uh, I mean, just don't bring weed

Joe Rogan 1:05:57 The thing is, like-

Ari Shaffir 1:05:58 But also, I think we're all doing it

Joe Rogan 1:05:59 ... weed helps basketball a lot apparent- I'm not a basketball player, clearly. But lyri- [laughs] weed-

Ari Shaffir 1:06:04 You couldn't keep score. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:06:05 Me and Muggsy Bogues

Ari Shaffir 1:06:07 Yeah. All right, that's a good reference

Joe Rogan 1:06:08 Yeah, yeah

Ari Shaffir 1:06:09 Nice

Joe Rogan 1:06:09 Um, but weed apparently is phenomenal for basketball players. Like, they all talk about it. Like, I've talked to basketball players-

Ari Shaffir 1:06:16 Well-

Joe Rogan 1:06:16 ... about weed. They say, "I can play way better when I'm high"

Ari Shaffir 1:06:18 Well, they had the, the-

Joe Rogan 1:06:19 They feel it

Ari Shaffir 1:06:20 ... collective bargaining, not a late one, but, like, this was 20 years ago, and they're like, "We can test for drugs," but they, they fought back. They go, "Not weed"

Joe Rogan 1:06:27 Yeah

Ari Shaffir 1:06:27 "So if you get caught with weed, sure, you can suspend us, but you can't test for it-"

Joe Rogan 1:06:31 Yeah

Ari Shaffir 1:06:31 "... because, why? We're all doing it"

Joe Rogan 1:06:33 Yeah, they're all doing it, and it helps the game

Ari Shaffir 1:06:35 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:06:35 Like, it helps their, uh, their fee- it helps pool for sure. It's-

Ari Shaffir 1:06:40 Helps poker for sure, for sure

Speaker 1:06:41 Check this out

Joe Rogan 1:06:41 Oh, I'd imagine. You read people's tells

Ari Shaffir 1:06:44 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:06:44 According to World Snooker Tour figures, more than-

Ari Shaffir 1:06:47 Wow

Joe Rogan 1:06:47 ... 24.5 million unique viewers watched the third session of the final alone in China. And during the whole 2025 tournament, it had a cumulative audience-

Ari Shaffir 1:06:56 It's that big

Joe Rogan 1:06:56 ... of 180 million in national broadcasting

Speaker 1:06:58 Yeah, to compare, that's, that's like a NFL playoff game

Ari Shaffir 1:07:01 24 million watched the finals of this. What's, what's... It's like a billion for Super Bowl, right?

Speaker 1:07:05 Yeah, yeah, it's about-

Ari Shaffir 1:07:05 But, like, a playoff game

Speaker 1:07:06 Yeah, a playoff game

Joe Rogan 1:07:07 But that's snooker. Or, or like the-

Ari Shaffir 1:07:10 That's not, yeah

Joe Rogan 1:07:10 ... English call it snooker. So snooker is very different, and it's on a 12-foot table. It's a huge table, and the balls are very small, and they don't have numbers on them. It's just, like-

Ari Shaffir 1:07:20 Red and yellow?

Joe Rogan 1:07:20 ... red, black, pink. It's mostly red. There's red that's in the stack, and then you have black, pink, brown, and I think there's another one. I've never played the game. I fucked around with it when I was in Scotland. They had a table, and I was, like, shooting balls on it. It's interesting

Ari Shaffir 1:07:34 In Colombia, they all play this thing, and it's, they have-

Joe Rogan 1:07:37 Three cushion billiards

Ari Shaffir 1:07:37 Yeah, and it's, the, they, they take their cue and move a s- a thing over, like a scorer over-

Joe Rogan 1:07:41 Uh-huh

Ari Shaffir 1:07:41 ... and they keep playing and move one over

Joe Rogan 1:07:43 Yeah

Ari Shaffir 1:07:43 And they're all playing it, and they're just kind of casual bars, but it's like 20 tables, and they're everywhere in the evening

Joe Rogan 1:07:48 And this is where there's no holes in the table, right?

Ari Shaffir 1:07:50 Yeah, yeah

Joe Rogan 1:07:51 Yeah. That's called three cushion billiards. Yeah

Ari Shaffir 1:07:52 I'd sit there and watch and drink

Joe Rogan 1:07:53 It's a fun game. I don't know how to play it really well. I, you know-

Ari Shaffir 1:07:57 Strategy

Joe Rogan 1:07:58 Well, it's-

Ari Shaffir 1:07:58 It's hella strategy

Joe Rogan 1:07:59 ... it's really underst- it is definitely strategy, but it's really understanding angles. It's understanding how to kick and how to, like... By, when I say kick, what I mean is, like, go off a rail and hit another rail and then collide with the ball. So three cushion billiards is you have three balls on the table. That's it. And so you have the, the whole tableIt's like a big ass pool table, but there's no pockets, and you have three balls. And so what you have to do is hit one ball and then go three rails at least, three cushions, and then hit the second ball.

Ari Shaffir 1:08:31 And then another ball.

Joe Rogan 1:08:32 Yes.

Ari Shaffir 1:08:32 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:08:33 But also put yourself in a position where then you can make another shot afterwards.

Ari Shaffir 1:08:38 R- Right. Or play it safe. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:08:40 It's a complicated game, and it's different because it's, a lot of it's spin, and the harder you hit it, the shorter the angle is. And if you hit it with English, you, it spins out wider or shorter depending upon what you're trying to do with it. And it, it's a re- But if you get good at it, it really will help your pool game because you'll really have a much more deep understanding of how the ball moves around the table with different speed and side spin and-

Ari Shaffir 1:09:06 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:09:06 ... all that kinda shit. I've ne- I've only fucked around with it, though, and then not in a long time. I, we, we had a table at Executive Billiards in White Plains. We used to have a, one three cushion table that they would fuck around on.

Ari Shaffir 1:09:17 Just play for, for, for laughs?

Joe Rogan 1:09:19 I couldn't do it. I would just ... I wanna see the balls go away.

Ari Shaffir 1:09:22 [laughs] That's nice.

Joe Rogan 1:09:22 I wanna see, when I-

Ari Shaffir 1:09:23 To hear that

Joe Rogan 1:09:23 ... when I fireball in, I wanna see it go down that hole. Bye-bye. I wanna clear it out. I don't want balls lingering just staring at me like, "Do it again, do it again, do it again."

Ari Shaffir 1:09:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:09:33 "I'm still here. Do it again."

Ari Shaffir 1:09:35 It's funny that that became a bar sport.

Joe Rogan 1:09:38 Mm-hmm.

Ari Shaffir 1:09:38 It's really just darts and that became the sports at bars.

Joe Rogan 1:09:41 Sure.

Ari Shaffir 1:09:42 And, and the table takes up a lot more space.

Joe Rogan 1:09:44 The dart board, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:09:46 Dart board, sure, but the pool table, you need, like, some actual space.

Joe Rogan 1:09:49 Mm-hmm. Yeah. And that space is totally not usable other than that. It's, that's where it is, unless a girl's dancing on it. Yeah. [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 1:09:59 I went to a, I went to a, there's this, like, pool hall/ like samba place in, in, in somewhere in Brazil.

Joe Rogan 1:10:05 What? Pool and samba?

Ari Shaffir 1:10:07 Yeah, it's like daily it's a pool hall, but then at night it turns into samba and the, the highest level guys come in. Their capital and their music capital. Um, it's so fun, but these guys don't stop playing pool. And so everyone's dancing. It's so packed, the crowd is, "Excuse me," and you're like ... The etiquette is you just know when you're at a bar. You're like, "All right, all right." But you got, you wanna be like, "Bro, not n- just, it's packed. You can't play pool here."

Joe Rogan 1:10:27 Yeah, you can't play pool there.

Ari Shaffir 1:10:28 But they were doing it.

Joe Rogan 1:10:29 Well, there's a place in the Bronx that is this Dominican pool room where they gamble big money.

Ari Shaffir 1:10:36 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:10:36 Big money. And they stream some of the matches on, uh, YouTube, and it's fucking bananas because people are just talking constantly, they're yelling at each other in Spanish and-

Ari Shaffir 1:10:47 Oh, wow

Joe Rogan 1:10:47 ... you know, Dominican people are having fun.

Ari Shaffir 1:10:49 They're having fun.

Joe Rogan 1:10:49 They're, the, the, the, there's all this Spanish-speaking and they're yelling and the, they're all very flamboyant and having a good time. And they get people to go over there and play, like pros, and they get so rattled because the enviro-

Ari Shaffir 1:11:02 They're not used to that.

Joe Rogan 1:11:03 Right.

Ari Shaffir 1:11:03 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:11:04 The enviro-

Ari Shaffir 1:11:04 Play on this turf.

Joe Rogan 1:11:05 Right. Not only that, but the p- the guys can play and they're accustomed to that culture. So they're accustomed to all the yelling and all the-

Ari Shaffir 1:11:12 Wow

Joe Rogan 1:11:12 ... craziness and guys standing in front of the hole while you're shooting at it, which is a no-no in regular pool.

Ari Shaffir 1:11:17 Oh, that's like high school, where like-

Joe Rogan 1:11:19 Yeah

Ari Shaffir 1:11:19 ... do it then, do it. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:11:20 They don't do it that bad.

Ari Shaffir 1:11:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:11:22 It's not that bad, but there's plenty of guys moving around the table. They're all talking. Everyone's yelling. The tables next to you are yelling. They don't care if you're betting $30,000 on a-

Ari Shaffir 1:11:31 Wow

Joe Rogan 1:11:31 ... on a set.

Ari Shaffir 1:11:32 Dominicans are having so much fun, they're allowed to use the N word. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:11:36 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 1:11:38 Blacks are like, "You know what? They kinda rule. Give it to 'em. Just Dominicans."

Joe Rogan 1:11:42 They're dark enough.

Ari Shaffir 1:11:42 Yeah. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:11:43 Let it go. Let it go.

Ari Shaffir 1:11:45 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:11:45 But it's really interesting because I've watched guys who are, like, top pros go over there and fucking lose to guys that they're not supposed to lose to. And the reason why they're losing is 'cause they're just rattled by the environment.

Ari Shaffir 1:11:55 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:11:56 And so what a lot of these guys will do, they'll put AirPods on. So they'll put AirPods in with the noise canceling, so to try to take away some of the l- l- the fucking sound and just focus. But you're really going to be playing at, like, 60% of your capacity because there's just too much chaos going around.

Ari Shaffir 1:12:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:12:12 If you play in a real legit pool tournament, everything's dead quiet while the guy's down on the ball, and then they clap when someone makes the ball, [clapping] but when then he moves to the next shot, they stop clapping.

Ari Shaffir 1:12:21 Yeah. Too respectful.

Joe Rogan 1:12:22 Yes.

Ari Shaffir 1:12:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:12:23 But not in these fucking pool ...

Ari Shaffir 1:12:24 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:12:24 And these guys are playing for big money. They're playing for tens of thousands-

Ari Shaffir 1:12:28 Wow

Joe Rogan 1:12:28 ... of dollars, and they're just getting sharked and rattled and-

Ari Shaffir 1:12:31 Stealing their blood.

Joe Rogan 1:12:33 I watched guys like, uh, I watched this guy Oscar Dominguez play this dude. Oscar's a top pro. He's on the Mosconi Top Cup. He was on the Mos- the, the Mosconi team for the US, and he was over there playing this dude. I was like, "How did they get him to go there?"

Ari Shaffir 1:12:47 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:12:48 I talked to my friend Jeremy Jones-

Ari Shaffir 1:12:49 Money and br- and rep, too. It's like the guys who do, um, Burning Man, the DJ's like, "I'll play for free." It's just like, it's a rep thing.

Joe Rogan 1:12:54 Well, I don't think it's that.

Ari Shaffir 1:12:55 To say, "I went there."

Joe Rogan 1:12:55 I think it's the money. The g- the, the-

Ari Shaffir 1:12:56 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:12:56 ... well, Oscar loves to gamble, and he's going to a place where someone's willing to gamble him for a lot of money.

Ari Shaffir 1:13:01 Well, you say the same about Jo- Jones, I'm gonna listen-

Joe Rogan 1:13:03 Yeah, pause

Ari Shaffir 1:13:04 ... while I go to piss.

Joe Rogan 1:13:04 Go piss. Go piss.

Ari Shaffir 1:13:05 Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:13:05 We'll, we'll pause. We'll pause. No, no, I could hear you. We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen. Broadcast it everywhere. I'm not gonna stay the whole thing. [laughs] We'll pause. We're back, folks. We're back. So what I was saying is, uh, my friend Jeremy Jones, who was a US Open champion, he said he went to that pool hall once and he said, "I'm never going back." [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 1:13:19 Too much.

Joe Rogan 1:13:20 It's too much.

Ari Shaffir 1:13:21 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:13:21 Too much, and he's also said that the neighborhood is, like-

Ari Shaffir 1:13:24 Dank

Joe Rogan 1:13:25 ... things can go sideways.

Ari Shaffir 1:13:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:13:27 It, it's, it's a neighborhood where, like, A, you might go there three nights in a row and you have a good time. Fourth night, four people get shot. You know what I mean?

Ari Shaffir 1:13:33 That was always the problem with underground pool, I mean, uh, poker rooms.

Joe Rogan 1:13:36 Oh, imagine.

Ari Shaffir 1:13:36 You play, play at Commerce or a place, like, that's legit, it's fine. You go underground and, like, there's not, there's a guard there.

Joe Rogan 1:13:42 Right, and you're walking out with a lot of money. I remember when, um, you were struggling in the early days of comedy when we f- kinda first met.

Ari Shaffir 1:13:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:13:50 And you were making your money by winning pool tournament- or poker tournaments.

Ari Shaffir 1:13:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:13:55 You would go to these-

Ari Shaffir 1:13:55 Finishing, at least

Joe Rogan 1:13:56 ... yeah, you would go to these casinos and make ... And you would play it like a job. You'd be, like, super serious.

Ari Shaffir 1:14:02 I read books on it.

Joe Rogan 1:14:04 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:14:05 The best book, of all the ... There's tells and there's strategy. The best, my favorite book is this guy Mike Caro. It's a book called Mike Caro's Book of Poker Tells.

Joe Rogan 1:14:16 Mm.

Ari Shaffir 1:14:16 Um, yeah. I managed to use one of 'em once. In a, in a World Series eventUm, that if, it, this is the one where it goes, "If someone looks at your chips, it's because they have a killer hand and they think those chips are theirs." And there's a ... It's just like, well, you know when you lie, you look away a little bit?

Joe Rogan 1:14:31 Mm-hmm.

Ari Shaffir 1:14:32 That's like a tell we all kinda know.

Joe Rogan 1:14:33 So you look at the chips and they're, "Ooh, look at all those chips."

Ari Shaffir 1:14:35 You look at it just for a second. You're like, and it's 'cause you're like, "Those are mine." You're not worried about your chips, 'cause you know your chips are staying. You got a full house.

Joe Rogan 1:14:40 Right.

Ari Shaffir 1:14:40 You know those are safe. But you're looking at those like, "How much of that can I extract?" So I was throwing a bluff down against a pro at the World Series. It was like, whatever. A- and I, I was like, "I think he must have read this book."

Joe Rogan 1:14:53 Ooh.

Ari Shaffir 1:14:53 And so I'm banking on that, so I'm holding my bluff nothing hand, and I just kinda do a, very subtly, just do one little ... And he goes, "Yeah, right." And he chucked his hand away.

Joe Rogan 1:15:03 Wow.

Ari Shaffir 1:15:03 Yeah. He thought he had me read. But the best thing about Mike Caro's Poker Tells-

Joe Rogan 1:15:08 Oh, that's interesting. You, you double-crossed.

Ari Shaffir 1:15:09 I double-crossed.

Joe Rogan 1:15:10 Ooh.

Ari Shaffir 1:15:10 I double-crossed you.

Joe Rogan 1:15:11 Clever.

Ari Shaffir 1:15:11 Thank you for recognizing that.

Joe Rogan 1:15:13 I love that.

Ari Shaffir 1:15:13 Love a double-cross. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:15:14 I love that. That's so cool. That's the cool thing about poker, that it's like, a lot of it's bullshit. You're bullshitting. You know?

Ari Shaffir 1:15:21 It's how you play the game.

Joe Rogan 1:15:22 You're bluffing.

Ari Shaffir 1:15:22 The best thing about The Poker Tells, it was written in the '70s, and there's a bunch of raced, race-based tells.

Joe Rogan 1:15:29 Really?

Ari Shaffir 1:15:30 Yeah. Like, if a, if a-

Joe Rogan 1:15:31 Like which ethnicities?

Ari Shaffir 1:15:32 All.

Joe Rogan 1:15:33 All of them?

Ari Shaffir 1:15:33 If an older white man re-raises you, get out.

Joe Rogan 1:15:37 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 1:15:37 That guy doesn't bluff. He's just trying to play. You know, his wife died years ago. He's just trying to extend.

Joe Rogan 1:15:42 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 1:15:43 Uh, uh, they're like, "If you play against a Mexican, find out when payday is, and if it was this Friday, they're bluffing. They're just throwing in anything. They just wanna play. They're gonna part with their monies." There's a whole thing on Blacks. I forget exactly what they were saying [laughs] on that.

Joe Rogan 1:15:55 Interesting.

Ari Shaffir 1:15:55 But it was, like, very interesting.

Joe Rogan 1:15:57 And what year was this written?

Ari Shaffir 1:15:58 I think in the '70s.

Joe Rogan 1:15:59 Interesting. Back when you could be honest.

Ari Shaffir 1:16:00 Yeah, and he was like, "I don't know. I'm just telling you how to win."

Joe Rogan 1:16:02 Those All in the Family days.

Ari Shaffir 1:16:03 Yeah. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:16:06 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 1:16:06 Yeah. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:16:07 You, you, you, you get away [laughs] with a lot of, like, honest observations about different cultures.

Ari Shaffir 1:16:13 Ah.

Joe Rogan 1:16:13 Mike Caro's Book of Poker Tells.

Ari Shaffir 1:16:15 Orientals. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:16:16 Orientals.

Ari Shaffir 1:16:17 Are either very skillful-

Joe Rogan 1:16:18 Like, the, I-

Ari Shaffir 1:16:18 ... or very luck oriented

Joe Rogan 1:16:19 ... I think it says it now Asian Americans. Like, why, what happened to Oriental?

Ari Shaffir 1:16:24 What happened to Oriental?

Joe Rogan 1:16:25 Someone told me that Oriental is, like, a slur now.

Ari Shaffir 1:16:28 But it's actually the right word.

Joe Rogan 1:16:29 Is it? The Orient?

Ari Shaffir 1:16:31 It's m- people or goods from the Orient. You know what the opposite is?

Joe Rogan 1:16:34 What?

Ari Shaffir 1:16:35 Uh, you and I, Occidental. People or goods from, I guess, not the Orient.

Joe Rogan 1:16:40 Really?

Ari Shaffir 1:16:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:16:40 We're Occidentals?

Ari Shaffir 1:16:41 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:16:42 You know what's also interesting? It's, like, Asian-

Ari Shaffir 1:16:44 Not a racist

Joe Rogan 1:16:45 ... Asian is so much of the world.

Ari Shaffir 1:16:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:16:49 Like, Asian includes India, which is Asia.

Ari Shaffir 1:16:52 Nah. If I was president, executive order.

Joe Rogan 1:16:54 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 1:16:54 That's ... No. No. That's not who we're talking about. That's not who we're talking about.

Joe Rogan 1:16:58 Is Pakistan in Asia?

Ari Shaffir 1:17:00 Yeah, right.

Joe Rogan 1:17:01 Yeah. [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 1:17:01 That's Middle East. Fuck off.

Joe Rogan 1:17:02 Yeah. [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 1:17:03 Fuck off. You know, oh, Israel's also Asia, by the way.

Joe Rogan 1:17:06 But it's also, like, the Philippines is Asia.

Ari Shaffir 1:17:09 That's Asia.

Joe Rogan 1:17:10 But it's-

Ari Shaffir 1:17:11 I'll give you that.

Joe Rogan 1:17:12 Okay, but it's way over there.

Ari Shaffir 1:17:13 It's way over there.

Joe Rogan 1:17:14 And then you got China, and then you got Japan, and then you got Korea, and South Korea and North Korea.

Ari Shaffir 1:17:19 Ch- okay. Let's be real. China and Japan are the obvious ones.

Joe Rogan 1:17:23 Yes.

Ari Shaffir 1:17:23 That's Asia.

Joe Rogan 1:17:23 Those are the big ones.

Ari Shaffir 1:17:24 The further you get, the more-

Joe Rogan 1:17:25 Korea. Korea's also a big one.

Ari Shaffir 1:17:26 Korea, okay.

Joe Rogan 1:17:27 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:17:27 Vietnam, you're still in the gold.

Joe Rogan 1:17:29 Vietnam gets a little-

Ari Shaffir 1:17:29 Mongolia, I don't know.

Joe Rogan 1:17:31 Hmm. Well, they're almost Russian.

Ari Shaffir 1:17:34 Saudi Arabia is Asia? Fuck off. We're talking about China-

Joe Rogan 1:17:37 Wow

Ari Shaffir 1:17:37 ... and their subsidiaries.

Joe Rogan 1:17:39 Look how big Asia is.

Ari Shaffir 1:17:40 Cambodia, okay, sure, all the jungles.

Joe Rogan 1:17:44 Wow.

Ari Shaffir 1:17:45 I wonder if I've been to there.

Joe Rogan 1:17:45 So Russia's technically Asia?

Ari Shaffir 1:17:48 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:17:48 That's Asian Russia.

Ari Shaffir 1:17:49 Israel is the craziest one.

Speaker 1:17:51 Yeah, cut, uh, yeah, we'll cut off right here, 'cause you'll be like European Russia, too.

Joe Rogan 1:17:54 Oh, okay. So there's Asian Russia, so that would be Siberia, right?

Speaker 1:17:58 Yeah, way up there.

Ari Shaffir 1:17:59 The Maldives are, it's crazy.

Joe Rogan 1:18:00 But that would be, like, Mongolia for sure. Kazakhstan is Asia. Wow.

Ari Shaffir 1:18:05 Yeah, but no.

Joe Rogan 1:18:06 Mongolia. But a lot of the Kazakhstan guys look Asian.

Ari Shaffir 1:18:09 True.

Joe Rogan 1:18:09 Like there's this guy Shavkat Rah- Rakhmonov who fights in the UFC.

Ari Shaffir 1:18:14 A Mongolian accent is crazy, 'cause it really is, it f- it sounds like half Chinese, half Russian.

Joe Rogan 1:18:18 Hmm.

Ari Shaffir 1:18:19 You know? They look Chinese speaking, like, the Russian accent.

Joe Rogan 1:18:22 Hard people, bro.

Ari Shaffir 1:18:23 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:18:24 Hard people. Kazakhstan, India, Iran? Iran is Asia? Wow.

Ari Shaffir 1:18:31 Israel's Asia.

Joe Rogan 1:18:32 Israel's Asia.

Ari Shaffir 1:18:33 Israel's the edge.

Speaker 1:18:34 Yeah, basically everything that's on the other side-

Joe Rogan 1:18:37 All those people are Oriental

Ari Shaffir 1:18:39 ... of Israel. Orientals. I'm gonna, next time I go to Jerusalem, I'm gonna call them all Orientals. See how it flies.

Joe Rogan 1:18:43 Look how close Yemen is to Ethiopia. It feels like you could swim there.

Ari Shaffir 1:18:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:18:49 If you really were motivated. [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 1:18:51 Damn. Yeah. [laughs] If you want to. You just go to a pool also. You don't really have to.

Joe Rogan 1:18:56 Yeah, look where Isr-

Speaker 1:18:57 Oh, sorry.

Joe Rogan 1:18:58 No worries. Look where, uh, Israel is.

Ari Shaffir 1:19:00 Maps are so interesting.

Joe Rogan 1:19:01 That's crazy.

Ari Shaffir 1:19:02 You can see how they split shit up.

Joe Rogan 1:19:03 Israel is, like ... That's what's nuts. You ever see the border between, uh, Egypt and Palestine? That border's nuts.

Ari Shaffir 1:19:11 What do you mean?

Joe Rogan 1:19:12 Oh, my God, it's the most fortified border you've ever seen in your life. You think the border between Israel and Palestine is rough?

Ari Shaffir 1:19:17 Really?

Joe Rogan 1:19:18 The bor- yeah, the, the border between Egypt and Palestine is way harder to get through.

Ari Shaffir 1:19:22 They do not want those people in there.

Joe Rogan 1:19:23 They do not want those people over there. You ever seen it?

Ari Shaffir 1:19:28 No.

Joe Rogan 1:19:28 Fucking rolls of barbed wire. It's crazy.

Ari Shaffir 1:19:31 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:19:31 Yeah, look at that. That's the-

Ari Shaffir 1:19:32 What, does that guy just catch a baby being thrown over?

Joe Rogan 1:19:34 Click on that one, please. The one, it says, uh, the Arab Weekly. Uh, r- on, on the top.

Speaker 1:19:39 Right here?

Joe Rogan 1:19:39 Yeah, right there. Look at that. Look at that, bro.

Ari Shaffir 1:19:41 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:19:42 You ain't getting through that.

Ari Shaffir 1:19:43 What a nice place to stroll for those two guys. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:19:46 Just a relaxing afternoon near the Gaza wall. Look at that. That's crazy.

Ari Shaffir 1:19:53 Ah.

Joe Rogan 1:19:54 God.

Ari Shaffir 1:19:56 Sad times.

Joe Rogan 1:19:57 Oh, the saddest. The saddest.

Ari Shaffir 1:20:02 Peace in the Middle East.

Joe Rogan 1:20:04 Yeah. Good luck.

Ari Shaffir 1:20:06 Um, yeah. They're all nuts.

Joe Rogan 1:20:08 Oh, it's even more nuts now. Look what's happening in Lebanon. Now they're bombing Lebanon, too?

Ari Shaffir 1:20:13 Really?

Joe Rogan 1:20:13 Yeah. Oh, my God.

Ari Shaffir 1:20:14 Follow any of this?

Joe Rogan 1:20:15 Israel's bombing the shit out of southern Lebanon.

Ari Shaffir 1:20:18 Lebanon?

Joe Rogan 1:20:18 Yeah, I was reading about this, uh, Ryan Grim was covering this, uh-... Lebanon reporter, this reporter in Lebanon that, that Israel killed. They followed her with drones. They bombed a car in front of her. She ran into an abandoned building, and then they bombed the shit out of the building. And all this took hours, and all the while she was contacting, like, whoever runs Lebanon, and they were contacting Israel and saying, "Hey, this is-"

Ari Shaffir 1:20:45 This reporter

Joe Rogan 1:20:45 ... "This is a reporter." And so then they got text messages between, like, she- this, someone from the IDF had been saying to them, "We're gonna kill you."

Ari Shaffir 1:20:54 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 1:20:54 And then they got the number from her phone and contacted the person from the IDF, and they were saying, "Hey, she works for Hezbollah," and, you know, "Fuck you," and, "You're naive." And it's, it's crazy. Like, they're just openly killing journalists.

Ari Shaffir 1:21:07 You know what they did a good job in when I was traveling, is they got it more than up here, is separating Israel from Jew.

Joe Rogan 1:21:14 Mm.

Ari Shaffir 1:21:14 They really were like, "We don't have any problem with Jews." But they would, like, be very staunchly, like-

Joe Rogan 1:21:19 Israelis

Ari Shaffir 1:21:20 ... anti-Israel.

Joe Rogan 1:21:20 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:21:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:21:22 Well, if you live in Israel, you have to do military service, right?

Ari Shaffir 1:21:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:21:25 So everyone who lives in milit- in Israel is a part of the military in their eyes. Like, everyone who lives in Israel-

Ari Shaffir 1:21:32 Right

Joe Rogan 1:21:32 ... has served in the military.

Ari Shaffir 1:21:33 Yeah. It's interesting, though. It's like a lot of those kids and then turned into adults are, like, very against what they're doing.

Joe Rogan 1:21:38 Oh, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:21:39 It's, like, an uncovered, I think, um, like, part of it.

Joe Rogan 1:21:42 Mm-hmm.

Ari Shaffir 1:21:42 Where they're like, "Yeah, we don't like this." I mean, half this country or more even didn't vote for Trump, didn't vote for Biden.

Joe Rogan 1:21:47 Right.

Ari Shaffir 1:21:48 So they're like, "Well, I didn't, I don't like this," but then you're still, like... You have to, like, be pro-everything about this thing, even though, like, you can not like certain things.

Joe Rogan 1:21:56 Right, the idea that, like, all Israelis have a, a single hive mind.

Ari Shaffir 1:22:00 No.

Joe Rogan 1:22:01 That's crazy. That's not the case in any country ever.

Ari Shaffir 1:22:03 It's, it's not the same in any crowd.

Joe Rogan 1:22:05 Especially a democracy, 'cause Israel's li-

Ari Shaffir 1:22:07 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:22:07 ... like, literally the only democracy over there really.

Ari Shaffir 1:22:10 Yeah, and they have parliament too, so there's, you have a lot of choices.

Joe Rogan 1:22:13 And they're trying to, like, prosecute Netanyahu while all this is going on.

Ari Shaffir 1:22:18 Who, the Israelis?

Joe Rogan 1:22:19 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:22:19 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:22:20 I mean, this was one of the things that most people aren't aware of, but that before October 7th, there was hundreds of thousands of people on the streets in Israel protesting Netanyahu. We talked about it the other day because-

Ari Shaffir 1:22:31 It's hard to protest during war

Joe Rogan 1:22:31 ... they were trying to expand, but this was before the war.

Ari Shaffir 1:22:34 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 1:22:35 So they were trying to expand, uh, what they can do in terms of, like, with their constitution. We talked about it. What was the exact... Chammy, do you remember the exact thing that they were disputing over? But it was expanding the power that the government has, and so people were protesting that. And then also-

Ari Shaffir 1:22:52 It was like, no way

Joe Rogan 1:22:53 ... October 7th pops off. Pow.

Ari Shaffir 1:22:54 We gotta support.

Joe Rogan 1:22:55 Yeah, and then, you know.

Ari Shaffir 1:22:57 It's how it happened here at 9/11. It became like, if you say anything bad now, you're, like, a t- a traitor.

Joe Rogan 1:23:03 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:23:03 Instead of just like, "Well, I was already saying they have issues with-"

Joe Rogan 1:23:07 Right

Ari Shaffir 1:23:07 ... you know, police overstepping or whatever. You're like, but now you can't say that for about three years.

Joe Rogan 1:23:11 Oh, yeah. Yeah. So before October 7th, Israel experienced nine months of massive sustained protest against Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's government, largely driven by opposition to proposed judicial reforms. These demonstrations was included hundreds of thousands of participants, accused the right-wing coalition of undermining democracy, weakening the Supreme Court, and attempting to interfere with Netanyahu's ongoing corruption trial.

Ari Shaffir 1:23:37 Yeah, and so that's the same as here, where it's not about, like, are you pro-gay marriage or not-

Joe Rogan 1:23:41 Right

Ari Shaffir 1:23:41 ... or are you pro, like, peace with Palestine or not. That's just people taking power.

Joe Rogan 1:23:45 Right.

Ari Shaffir 1:23:46 And so that goes beyond the right or left, and just go, "No, no, that's an overstep."

Joe Rogan 1:23:49 Yeah. Yeah, it's... [sighs]

Ari Shaffir 1:23:54 But anyway.

Joe Rogan 1:23:55 It's fucked.

Ari Shaffir 1:23:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:23:55 It's fucked 'cause it's not gonna get any better.

Ari Shaffir 1:23:57 It's not.

Joe Rogan 1:23:57 And they've destroyed Gaza. Gaza's just a wasteland now. And I mean-

Ari Shaffir 1:24:02 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:24:02 ... someone, um-

Ari Shaffir 1:24:03 Gotta give 'em a chance

Joe Rogan 1:24:03 ... posted recent video of Gaza, like, what it looked like now, like right now. They sent up a drone to g- or something to get video footage of what Gaza looks like, and it's crazy. It's crazy. It looks like they dropped a nuke. They just did it slowly. Instead of dropping one nuke-

Ari Shaffir 1:24:22 Just do it

Joe Rogan 1:24:22 ... they, they did thousands of fucking conventional bombs and did-

Ari Shaffir 1:24:26 It's-

Joe Rogan 1:24:27 ... the kind of destruction that a nuke would do

Ari Shaffir 1:24:28 ... it's, it's interesting if you ask people how, how it's, like, polarizing everybody got or polarized, that you couldn't just be like, "Eh, any suffering's wrong." But like, I could show you a dead baby-

Joe Rogan 1:24:37 Mm-hmm

Ari Shaffir 1:24:38 ... and a lot of people will go, "Well, what... I gotta know what their last name is first-

Joe Rogan 1:24:41 Right. Yeah

Ari Shaffir 1:24:41 ... before I can tell you if I feel bad or not."

Joe Rogan 1:24:43 Right. Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:24:45 Instead of just like, "That's cl- I don't know, clearly-"

Joe Rogan 1:24:46 I know, that's what's so dark about it

Ari Shaffir 1:24:48 ... really wrong. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:24:49 That's just so dark. And then if you talk about, like, what's happening to Gaza, people say, "Well, October 7th shouldn't have happened." Like, okay, you're right, it shouldn't have.

Ari Shaffir 1:24:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:24:57 But guess what? Those kids that live in Gaza, they didn't do October 7th.

Ari Shaffir 1:25:01 They didn't do that. Mm-mm.

Joe Rogan 1:25:01 They didn't do it. So-

Ari Shaffir 1:25:03 Like, we're not on their team. It's like, ah, it's-

Joe Rogan 1:25:04 What we did to Iran-

Ari Shaffir 1:25:05 It's just wrong

Joe Rogan 1:25:05 ... what if Iran nukes New York City? Uh, th- those kids that live in the Bronx, they had nothing to do with what happened in Iran. So, like, is that okay? Like, what are we talking about? This is-

Ari Shaffir 1:25:14 It's all a mess

Joe Rogan 1:25:15 ... it's fucking nuts. It's... Tribal warfare is fucking bananas, and it's still going on in 2026.

Ari Shaffir 1:25:20 Well, I was talking to people when I knew, like, cousins and stuff in the military, and they were, had just gotten out, and they were like, "We're all now..." This is before October 7th, so a few years before, maybe 2018. They're like, "We're talking now 'cause we have the internet now," and we're like, "This isn't sustainable, and we don't wanna keep doing this."

Joe Rogan 1:25:34 Right.

Ari Shaffir 1:25:34 "We gotta start figuring out a peace thing."

Joe Rogan 1:25:36 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:25:36 And then that's all, that's all gone now.

Joe Rogan 1:25:38 It's all gone.

Ari Shaffir 1:25:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:25:40 Not only is it all gone, but now that they've started bombing Lebanon, everybody's really terrified 'cause they're like, "Well, where is this going?" 'Cause they're bombing Christian villages in Lebanon, and they were, there's video of them destroying these solar panels that these Christian villages have in Lebanon, where they're just plowing over and, and using, like, tractors to take down these solar panels. Like, what the fuck?

Ari Shaffir 1:26:00 Part of me goes to, like-

Joe Rogan 1:26:01 This isn't the military. Like, what are you doing?

Ari Shaffir 1:26:02 Yeah. It still goes back to, like, Wesley Clark, if I got that right-

Joe Rogan 1:26:06 Yeah

Ari Shaffir 1:26:06 ... where, where they're like-

Joe Rogan 1:26:07 Yeah, the seven countries

Ari Shaffir 1:26:07 ... the seven countries, and Iran was on there.

Joe Rogan 1:26:09 Oh, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:26:09 And we just hadn't gotten there yet.

Joe Rogan 1:26:10 Oh, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:26:11 But that was always like, that's not a new thing. That was just in the works for a couple decades-

Joe Rogan 1:26:15 Uh-huh

Ari Shaffir 1:26:15 ... just waiting for the timers, right?

Joe Rogan 1:26:17 Yeah, they wanted to do it within five years. It took 25.

Ari Shaffir 1:26:19 Took long.

Joe Rogan 1:26:21 Yeah. The Wesley Clark thing is funny because, you know, Dave Smith had a debate, debate with Coleman Hughes about that, and Coleman Hughes is likeBut Wesley Clark never said he read the memo. He said someone told him about the memo. Because any historian would not even be able to use that-

Ari Shaffir 1:26:37 Oh, I thought they said they ha- they s-

Joe Rogan 1:26:39 I don't know.

Ari Shaffir 1:26:40 Yeah, I don't know.

Joe Rogan 1:26:40 I don't think so. I think the way Coleman was describing it ... But the reality is, okay, y- yeah, you might be right.

Ari Shaffir 1:26:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:26:46 Maybe because he hadn't read it, any historian would not have been able to use it in a book. But the fact that it all took place exactly how the memo stated-

Ari Shaffir 1:26:55 Carry on

Joe Rogan 1:26:55 ... that seems relevant.

Ari Shaffir 1:26:56 And, and that came up before.

Joe Rogan 1:26:57 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:26:57 So you're like, "Hey, we're going to Iran soon," and then it's like they did.

Joe Rogan 1:27:00 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:27:00 Syria, they kept trying.

Joe Rogan 1:27:01 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:27:01 Syria was the best to me because when, when Obama was doing it, and I don't care who's in charge, they're all doing the same shit-

Joe Rogan 1:27:07 Yeah

Ari Shaffir 1:27:07 ... to me. But they go, "We gotta go in there to overthrow this dictator." And then, uh, people would just come off the whole, like, Middle Eastern War, like, "No, we're done." And so they couldn't justify it. And then they go, "Hey, there's this insurgent group and they're gonna get out of hand. We gotta go in and control them." And then it's like, wait, you wanna go fight the guy who was fighting against Assad? And then that ended, and then they go, "No, we gotta take down Assad."

Joe Rogan 1:27:29 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 1:27:29 And it's like, you really seem like you guys wanna go into Syria.

Joe Rogan 1:27:32 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 1:27:32 Looking for any sort of excuse.

Joe Rogan 1:27:34 Ugh. It's all crazy.

Ari Shaffir 1:27:37 politics is stupid. Let's move on.

Joe Rogan 1:27:39 It's just evil.

Ari Shaffir 1:27:39 It's like a n- a conversational-

Joe Rogan 1:27:40 It is gross.

Ari Shaffir 1:27:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:27:41 Yeah, your perspective is probably the healthiest. Just stay out of it.

Ari Shaffir 1:27:44 Stay out of it.

Joe Rogan 1:27:45 Leave me alone. Fuck you. Live my life. But the thing is, like, some of it does affect your life, like this psychedelic drugs thing.

Ari Shaffir 1:27:53 Okay. So in that moment where you got fucking ch- maybe, hopefully shrooms legalized, you know, in an ideal world, is a very rare case of someone who can actually a- accomplish change.

Joe Rogan 1:28:06 And a very-

Ari Shaffir 1:28:07 You, you are a higher level than most people in terms of influence, both personally and, like, broadly.

Joe Rogan 1:28:14 But also the d- the individual, like him.

Ari Shaffir 1:28:17 Donald Trump, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:28:17 Like, most people wouldn't do it that way. Like, if I was friends with Obama, there's not a fucking chance in hell I could have gone to Obama and said, "Hey, dude, you know what'd be cool? If you got ibogaine legalized, it would keep all these people that are addicted to..." He could have done that decades ago. Everyone could have done that. They've known about ibogaine forever, and they've also known about the pill crisis forever. So all this stuff was common knowledge amongst plenty of people.

Ari Shaffir 1:28:40 Yeah. They just don't talk about it.

Joe Rogan 1:28:41 I mean, John Hopkins has been doing these studies.

Ari Shaffir 1:28:43 John Hopkins has a playlist for shrooms and MDMA. They h- they make a playlist for you.

Joe Rogan 1:28:48 They do?

Ari Shaffir 1:28:48 That you can like, this is a good MDMA or sh- I forget which one.

Joe Rogan 1:28:52 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 1:28:52 Shrooms playlist.

Joe Rogan 1:28:52 Is it, like, John Hopkins, like, sanctioned it, or someone who-

Ari Shaffir 1:28:56 Yeah, no, someone who works there

Joe Rogan 1:28:57 ... a student there?

Ari Shaffir 1:28:57 No, no, no, a professor.

Joe Rogan 1:28:58 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 1:28:58 Or someone like that, in the research they're doing.

Joe Rogan 1:29:01 Oh.

Ari Shaffir 1:29:01 In the psilocybin research. It was all psilocybin, right? And not molly?

Joe Rogan 1:29:04 I think, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:29:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:29:04 Hopkins was psilo- John Hopkins was all psilocybin research. Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:29:07 Yeah, they all, like, kinda led the way. They have a playlist that you can-

Joe Rogan 1:29:09 Yeah

Ari Shaffir 1:29:09 ... you can get. It's on Spotify [laughs] or whatever.

Joe Rogan 1:29:11 All these people have been aware of it for so long, you know? Inside the John Hopkins psilocybin playlist.

Ari Shaffir 1:29:17 Ah.

Joe Rogan 1:29:17 Wow. This is 2020.

Ari Shaffir 1:29:20 Dude, I'm always amazed when my memory turns out to not be false.

Joe Rogan 1:29:23 Look at that guy. He looks like he's tripping.

Ari Shaffir 1:29:24 That guy, those balls.

Joe Rogan 1:29:25 He looks like he trips.

Ari Shaffir 1:29:25 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:29:26 He's like an old dude who's tripped balls.

Ari Shaffir 1:29:27 Just hug people.

Joe Rogan 1:29:28 Look at his smile.

Ari Shaffir 1:29:29 Bill Richards.

Joe Rogan 1:29:29 That guy, that guy's not working for an insurance company.

Ari Shaffir 1:29:32 [laughs] No. Loosened his tie.

Joe Rogan 1:29:33 Yeah, Bill Richards, look how he's tripped.

Ari Shaffir 1:29:35 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:29:35 Psychologist and researcher. They should put researcher in quotes.

Ari Shaffir 1:29:38 [laughs] Psychologist, researcher, and former Deadhead.

Joe Rogan 1:29:41 And tripper.

Ari Shaffir 1:29:41 Yeah. Tri-

Joe Rogan 1:29:42 "I think of it as non-verbal, a non-verbal support system, sort of like a net for a trapeze artist. If all's going well, you're not even aware the net is there. You don't even hear the music. But if you start-"

Ari Shaffir 1:29:54 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:29:54 ... "getting anxious or if you need it, it's immediately there to provide a structure." Oh, Bill, you trip hard.

Ari Shaffir 1:30:00 When I was doing ayahuasca, this guy was like, this shaman guy was, like, beating a drum very lightly, and it, when you come out of it, whatever, the slow, like, boom, boom, boom. It would just kinda, like, pull you back into it.

Joe Rogan 1:30:11 Mm. Mm. Seven hour and 40 minute playlist. Boy, those guys go hard.

Ari Shaffir 1:30:17 They make sure. Put that on loop.

Joe Rogan 1:30:18 Symphony of Sorrowful Songs. Hey, don't do that. [laughs] Don't give me sorrowful songs while I'm tripping.

Ari Shaffir 1:30:26 You're trying to have a bad time? [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:30:27 Yeah. I wanna hear, I want to hear beautiful music.

Ari Shaffir 1:30:29 Think about your grandmother's death.

Joe Rogan 1:30:30 No, not Grandma.

Ari Shaffir 1:30:32 [laughs] People always ask me about mushrooms, like, is it gonna be this emotional, like, like, spiritual thing? I'm like, yeah, that's get, that gets hyped more. You're gonna laugh with your friends.

Joe Rogan 1:30:42 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:30:42 That's the main thing.

Joe Rogan 1:30:43 There's gonna be ... I mean, it depends on the dose, right?

Ari Shaffir 1:30:46 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:30:46 Uh, like, a heavy dose will bring you to a very strange place.

Ari Shaffir 1:30:49 Dude, I had a-

Joe Rogan 1:30:51 I was actually with my eyes closed

Ari Shaffir 1:30:51 ... probably the best mushroom trip of all time on this trip.

Joe Rogan 1:30:53 Yeah?

Ari Shaffir 1:30:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:30:54 Of all time?

Ari Shaffir 1:30:55 Yeah, maybe.

Joe Rogan 1:30:56 Whoa.

Ari Shaffir 1:30:56 Maybe, maybe the first one.

Joe Rogan 1:30:57 The Muhammad Ali of mushroom trips.

Ari Shaffir 1:30:59 Yeah, and it wasn't like it was crazy hard, it was just they were fresh.

Joe Rogan 1:31:02 Ooh.

Ari Shaffir 1:31:02 And it was just, like, the thoughts, and it was in a, uh, just in places where nobody really gave a fuck, so you didn't feel like you were, like, a drug addict.

Joe Rogan 1:31:09 Mm.

Ari Shaffir 1:31:10 And just, like, yeah, just seeing everything so clear. God, mushrooms fucking rule. You just see everything so clear.

Joe Rogan 1:31:17 Mm.

Ari Shaffir 1:31:17 It kills the you in your brain.

Joe Rogan 1:31:19 It kills the bullshit part.

Ari Shaffir 1:31:20 Yeah, and so you go, like, look at this behavior, and it's, it's the same as analyzing someone else's behavior or your own. They're just the same.

Joe Rogan 1:31:26 That's a part of the, one of the problems that comes with living a stressful life, is you get really wrapped up in yourself. Like, you're managing yourself, you're managing your thoughts, you're managing your, whatever you're trying to do.

Ari Shaffir 1:31:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:31:39 And then you think so much about you that a thing like that can take you out of that, and you go, "Oh, what am I wasting my thoughts on this for?"

Ari Shaffir 1:31:47 What am I doing with this?

Joe Rogan 1:31:47 "Why am I wasting my energy on this? It's so pointless. It's not helping me at all."

Ari Shaffir 1:31:52 And you see people.

Joe Rogan 1:31:53 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:31:53 I saw my father for, like, who he really is now, just, like, a loving, caring grandad. And you're like, oh, what a fucking cool guy, that I always saw as, like, this guy who I grew up with.

Joe Rogan 1:32:01 Mm.

Ari Shaffir 1:32:01 And then just like, man, yeah, and just, like, realizing, like, I'm doing the same stuff he did, like, going, you know, starting a new life.

Joe Rogan 1:32:09 Mm-hmm.

Ari Shaffir 1:32:10 He did the same shit coming to America, and it's like, wow, what a ... You look at it separately from your father, like, that's a cool guy.

Joe Rogan 1:32:15 You talked about having your father come on this podcast to talk about his experience as a Holocaust survivor.

Ari Shaffir 1:32:21 He would. He would probably-

Joe Rogan 1:32:22 How old is he now?

Ari Shaffir 1:32:23 He's about to be 90.

Joe Rogan 1:32:25 Wow.

Ari Shaffir 1:32:25 Still with it, though. He's not, like, uh, feeble.

Joe Rogan 1:32:28 That's awesome.

Ari Shaffir 1:32:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:32:29 Would he do it?

Ari Shaffir 1:32:30 He would do it. He loves getting the word out

Joe Rogan 1:32:32 How old was he when he was in the camps?

Ari Shaffir 1:32:35 Young. Single digits.

Joe Rogan 1:32:37 Wow.

Ari Shaffir 1:32:37 Um, and maybe up to, I think maybe released at 12.

Joe Rogan 1:32:40 [sighs]

Ari Shaffir 1:32:41 Yeah, he would do it. He would love it because he works at the Holocaust Memorial as a docent or something, and-

Joe Rogan 1:32:46 He has a tattoo and everything? Does he have a tattoo?

Ari Shaffir 1:32:50 I don't think so.

Joe Rogan 1:32:51 No?

Ari Shaffir 1:32:52 He wasn't in a death camp. He was in a work camp.

Joe Rogan 1:32:54 Oh.

Ari Shaffir 1:32:54 His, his... I believe, this is all sh- I believe his, my grandfather, his dad was in, was liberated from a death camp. But yeah, t- well, you should talk to him. He would actually love it. He loves getting the word out. I've seen him make speeches before, and there's all these inner city kids from, like, Kansas City, you know? And then when they hear him talk, it's just this moment you realize, like, oh, this isn't a story. This is, like-

Joe Rogan 1:33:14 His life

Ari Shaffir 1:33:15 ... yeah, it's a real thing.

Joe Rogan 1:33:16 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:33:16 Like Attila the Hun, you're like, "That seems like a fictional character."

Joe Rogan 1:33:19 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:33:19 'Cause you're so removed from it, and this is just at the borderline of that. Dude, he would d- he would, yeah, you should do it.

Joe Rogan 1:33:24 I would do it.

Ari Shaffir 1:33:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:33:25 I'd love to have him on, talk to him. It's, um, it's a weird time with, uh-

Ari Shaffir 1:33:29 It's a weird time

Joe Rogan 1:33:30 ... with anything that has anything to do with people being Jewish because-

Ari Shaffir 1:33:35 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:33:36 ... they conflate Jewish people with the Israeli government, the Netanyahu government, and what they're doing in Gaza and what they're doing in all the other places. And it's also, it's like there's a weird time now where people, people are enjoying questioning the numbers of people that died in the Holocaust.

Ari Shaffir 1:33:52 It's the internet.

Joe Rogan 1:33:53 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:33:53 Retarded. It's just kinda like fun.

Joe Rogan 1:33:55 But just, like, but there is some weirdness to it, and one of the weirdness to it is, like, there's some photos of, like, Auschwitz and a lot of these other ca- that they took after the camps were liberated, and they had people go there, and they took photos of them li- like, pretending that these people were at the camps, and they weren't. They were done after the fact.

Ari Shaffir 1:34:15 Yeah. But also-

Joe Rogan 1:34:16 But there's also tons of videos of-

Ari Shaffir 1:34:18 It's like, what are you hoping for? It was only one million? What, so-

Joe Rogan 1:34:20 Right

Ari Shaffir 1:34:20 ... so that's okay somehow?

Joe Rogan 1:34:21 No.

Ari Shaffir 1:34:21 You wanna justify it in your head?

Joe Rogan 1:34:23 Yeah, it's, that's where it's weird.

Ari Shaffir 1:34:24 It's like, ah, I don't know.

Joe Rogan 1:34:25 But it's-

Ari Shaffir 1:34:25 If it was 600 people, I'd be like, "Ugh."

Joe Rogan 1:34:26 Right. Well, it's, it's clearly there was a lot of people. It was... I don't know what the number is, but if it was six million or if it was one million or three million, it's like, to catch people, like, "No, no, no, you, you guys said it was six." Like-

Ari Shaffir 1:34:39 They're also-

Joe Rogan 1:34:40 ... and then the thing is, like, it's 1945

Ari Shaffir 1:34:40 ... it's the, it's the 30s and 40s-

Joe Rogan 1:34:42 Right

Ari Shaffir 1:34:42 ... so it's like I, I don't know how to anal- we're j- we're guessing. We don't have the-

Joe Rogan 1:34:45 Right

Ari Shaffir 1:34:45 ... we don't have the wherewithal. And you ask somebody in the Holocaust, they go, "Well, I was only in my one camp. I can't tell you what was going on at Bergen-Belsen."

Joe Rogan 1:34:51 But there's people that are, like, equally sure that it was six million, and then there's people that are equally sure that it was, like, 300,000 or 600,000-

Ari Shaffir 1:34:59 Right

Joe Rogan 1:34:59 ... or whatever the fuck they think it was. And it's like this weird argument back and forth.

Ari Shaffir 1:35:04 I mean, you have to see how many Jews were in Europe-

Joe Rogan 1:35:07 Period

Ari Shaffir 1:35:07 ... before and after.

Joe Rogan 1:35:08 Right. Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:35:08 And there should be more. It's funny, you see, like, if you have a stat like that, like separated from this, like in, uh, I was in Peru. We were hiking Machu, to Machu Picchu.

Joe Rogan 1:35:17 Machu Picchu.

Ari Shaffir 1:35:18 Me and O'Neal.

Joe Rogan 1:35:19 Oh, we gotta talk about that.

Ari Shaffir 1:35:20 And, and, uh, and they're like, it's fucking pouring rain. And everybody there, they're not liberal or conservative. They just go, "It's been raining earlier than it should be." And they don't know about the word climate change.

Joe Rogan 1:35:32 Mm-hmm.

Ari Shaffir 1:35:32 They just go, "We're told November 1st is when you plant. After that, you're in a risk." And now this is mid-October, and I don't, I don't know what's up.

Joe Rogan 1:35:39 Well, there's going to be climate change whether human beings are here or not. That's the reality of the Earth.

Ari Shaffir 1:35:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:35:44 The Earth's temperature and climate has never been static.

Ari Shaffir 1:35:49 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:35:49 And the real problem with climate change is not recognizing that human beings are having an adverse effect on the planet, 'cause we certainly are in terms of pollution and particulate release. But that people like Al Gore and a lot of these fucking, these greenies, they're profiting off of this concept of climate change, and then also using it to clamp down on people's rights.

Ari Shaffir 1:36:13 There's that too, like we talked about, people taking money from a good cause-

Joe Rogan 1:36:16 Yeah

Ari Shaffir 1:36:16 ... and just like, so it's like-

Joe Rogan 1:36:17 Exactly

Ari Shaffir 1:36:17 ... for every good thing, they'll be like, "Somebody's gonna misuse it."

Joe Rogan 1:36:20 100%, for every good thing.

Ari Shaffir 1:36:21 It all gets conflated. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:36:22 But then it becomes a thing where, like, you know, when I had Bernie Sanders on the podcast, he was, like, talking about it. I was like, and I said to him, I go, "Problem with climate change is not just that the climate is changing," 'cause it always has, "but that people are having an effect on it," 'cause they definitely are. But it's that there's a lot of money-

Ari Shaffir 1:36:39 There's money

Joe Rogan 1:36:39 ... in this whole concept of climate change.

Ari Shaffir 1:36:41 The fake recycling that was never done.

Joe Rogan 1:36:44 Oh, fake.

Ari Shaffir 1:36:44 And then-

Joe Rogan 1:36:44 The ground, landfills.

Ari Shaffir 1:36:45 And then you're like-

Joe Rogan 1:36:46 It's all landfills

Ari Shaffir 1:36:46 ... "But it's better than nothing." Like, no, it's equal to nothing.

Joe Rogan 1:36:49 Well, it's als- not only that, but you fucking made people feel like they were doing good-

Ari Shaffir 1:36:53 Right

Joe Rogan 1:36:53 ... by throwing their fucking water bottles-

Ari Shaffir 1:36:54 It's pacifying them

Joe Rogan 1:36:55 ... in a blue thing.

Ari Shaffir 1:36:56 It's such an odd... It's just, it's j- it's all kinda crazy, but-

Joe Rogan 1:36:59 We're gross.

Ari Shaffir 1:37:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:37:00 People are gross.

Ari Shaffir 1:37:01 But it was cool to see people's perspectives that were, like, away from political.

Joe Rogan 1:37:05 Mm-hmm.

Ari Shaffir 1:37:05 And just their observations about stuff. And like I said, like-

Joe Rogan 1:37:07 Recognize that things change.

Ari Shaffir 1:37:08 Yeah. And like-

Joe Rogan 1:37:09 But look, sub-Saharan Africa used to be lush green lands. I mean, they find, they find whale-

Ari Shaffir 1:37:14 Egypt

Joe Rogan 1:37:14 ... bones in sub-Saharan Africa-

Ari Shaffir 1:37:16 Wow

Joe Rogan 1:37:16 ... in the desert. In the desert, they find whale skeletons, in the desert, way before there were cars.

Ari Shaffir 1:37:24 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:37:25 Okay?

Ari Shaffir 1:37:25 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:37:25 Way before there were plastic and power plants. So the, the Earth's climate has never been static. But the, the, the, the Machu Picchu thing is, I, I really wanna go there. Um, my friend Luke Caverns, who's been on the podcast before-

Ari Shaffir 1:37:40 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:37:41 ... he's, he's studied a ton-

Ari Shaffir 1:37:42 Tom's been three times.

Joe Rogan 1:37:43 Has he really?

Ari Shaffir 1:37:43 But as a kid. That's what I meant, like-

Joe Rogan 1:37:45 Oh, his, yeah, his family's from-

Ari Shaffir 1:37:46 So, so, yeah

Joe Rogan 1:37:46 ... yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:37:46 So they're like, "Oh, it's a one-hour flight from Lima."

Joe Rogan 1:37:48 Mm.

Ari Shaffir 1:37:49 And then just take the train. But, like, yeah, it's, it's, it's pretty wild. So you're saying it wasn't even the Aztecs? Is that what you told me?

Joe Rogan 1:37:56 Well, that's, yeah, that's the Incas.

Ari Shaffir 1:37:58 The Incas.

Joe Rogan 1:37:58 You're talking about the Incas.

Ari Shaffir 1:38:00 Incas, Incas, Incas, Incas, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:38:00 Yeah. It wasn't. They, they don't think it was.

Ari Shaffir 1:38:01 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:38:01 They think the initial monolithic structures were, or megalithic structures, were an earlier, previously unknown civilization because the, the-

Ari Shaffir 1:38:10 That they took over

Joe Rogan 1:38:10 ... the size and scope of their structures, the way they build it, and, uh, Graham Hancock has gone over this as well, is so much different than the stuff that's on top of it. So what happens is you have this old stuff that's enormous stones that are cut like jigsaws, right?

Ari Shaffir 1:38:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:38:28 And, and almost like it's melted, like the way it looks. It almost like it's-

Ari Shaffir 1:38:31 You can't put a piece of paper through it-

Joe Rogan 1:38:33 Right

Ari Shaffir 1:38:33 ... after 200 years of, of, like, breakdowns. You still can't put-

Joe Rogan 1:38:36 Way more than 200 years

Ari Shaffir 1:38:37 ... yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:38:37 It's thousands of years. But the thing that's really nutty about it is that design is because when they have earthquakes, that way it won't fall off.Right?

Ari Shaffir 1:38:46 So it, yeah

Joe Rogan 1:38:46 It disperses the energy better, as opposed to just stacking stuff on top of each other. That stuff falls. But when it's all interlocked in these weird forms-

Ari Shaffir 1:38:54 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:38:54 ... like that shit.

Ari Shaffir 1:38:55 That, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:38:56 Wow.

Ari Shaffir 1:38:56 So Che Guevara talks about it a little bit, where he goes, so Ever- Cusco is the gem of, of South America. It was the, it was the border of, of the Andes where people would come in and do trade and everything. And you see this, and the w- the, the Christians would come in, take over, and build, like, facades on it-

Joe Rogan 1:39:09 Right

Ari Shaffir 1:39:09 ... and put a cross on top to be like, "Look what we did. We're more dominant than these people." And then an earthquake would come, the facade would fall, and this would just remain.

Joe Rogan 1:39:16 That stuff remains, yeah

Ari Shaffir 1:39:17 Over and over and over again.

Joe Rogan 1:39:18 Over and over again.

Ari Shaffir 1:39:19 These aren't even squares. Look at that.

Joe Rogan 1:39:21 Oh, it's so cool.

Ari Shaffir 1:39:21 It's like an L. It's like Tetris.

Joe Rogan 1:39:22 Yeah, it's so cool. And that was on purpose. They did that because that w- wou-

Ari Shaffir 1:39:26 To patch it up

Joe Rogan 1:39:27 ... what would survive. But if you look at the stuff above it, that's the stuff that the Incas made.

Ari Shaffir 1:39:31 On top.

Joe Rogan 1:39:31 So the Incas made this stuff which is, like, it's all just stacked.

Ari Shaffir 1:39:34 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:39:34 It's not as sophisticated, and also not as large, 'cause they didn't have the technology. Whatever the fuck these people had that was in the-

Ari Shaffir 1:39:41 Look at that. Look how big that rock is

Joe Rogan 1:39:42 ... huge. I mean, hundreds and thousands of tons.

Ari Shaffir 1:39:46 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:39:47 I mean, these things are fucking enormous.

Ari Shaffir 1:39:49 You wanna hear-

Joe Rogan 1:39:49 The really crazy one is the Lebanon ones. In Lebanon-

Ari Shaffir 1:39:53 I've been there. Wait, no.

Joe Rogan 1:39:54 Have you? Have you?

Ari Shaffir 1:39:54 I'm Jordan. Jordan, I'm talking about.

Joe Rogan 1:39:55 Okay.

Ari Shaffir 1:39:55 Is the...

Joe Rogan 1:39:56 So in Lebanon, they have these massive stone... What are they called, Jamie? The trilithon stones? So there's these stones that are, like, more than 1,000 tons, and they're, like, several meters above the ground, placed, and then on top of them you have these Roman structures.

Ari Shaffir 1:40:15 Oh, right.

Joe Rogan 1:40:17 So if you see, like, there, like that click that, where you had your, uh, cursor.

Ari Shaffir 1:40:20 That one?

Joe Rogan 1:40:20 Yeah. Look at the size of that guy.

Ari Shaffir 1:40:22 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:40:23 And look at the size of that stone. Like-

Ari Shaffir 1:40:25 It's fucking huge

Joe Rogan 1:40:25 ... and then you see the stuff on top of it is smaller. It's not as sophisticated. And then you had the Roman... Now, the thing about the Romans is Romans had meticulous record-keeping, and they talked about all the construction of all the different things they had. They don't even mention those stones.

Ari Shaffir 1:40:39 So it wasn't them.

Joe Rogan 1:40:39 They don't mention how they ma- No. I don't think it was them.

Ari Shaffir 1:40:42 Well, do you know-

Joe Rogan 1:40:42 I think it was a previous civilization. Look at that fucking thing.

Ari Shaffir 1:40:45 Oh, bro, I'm about to... Do you know Nazca Lines?

Joe Rogan 1:40:47 Yes.

Ari Shaffir 1:40:47 Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:40:48 Oh, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:40:48 I saw them.

Joe Rogan 1:40:49 Oh, did you? Yeah?

Ari Shaffir 1:40:50 Yeah, I flew over them.

Joe Rogan 1:40:51 Bro, how weird is that?

Ari Shaffir 1:40:52 They're so big you can't... I d- the pictures won't do it justice, because you'll see, like, a road. They didn't know, because from the ground level you can't see any of it.

Joe Rogan 1:40:59 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:40:59 And so they just build these roads through the desert. And so you can see a car sometimes, like, so the, for perspective.

Joe Rogan 1:41:05 Mm-hmm.

Ari Shaffir 1:41:05 And you're like, it's this dot on this giant monkey in the middle of the desert-

Joe Rogan 1:41:10 Right

Ari Shaffir 1:41:11 ... for however many hundreds of years.

Joe Rogan 1:41:13 Yeah, they don't even know how long.

Ari Shaffir 1:41:14 They're crazy.

Joe Rogan 1:41:15 Weird.

Ari Shaffir 1:41:16 A- and they're all, like, signals to s- to something. There's all these theories on what it is.

Joe Rogan 1:41:20 Something from the sky. You have to see them from above.

Ari Shaffir 1:41:23 You can only see them from above.

Joe Rogan 1:41:24 That's nuts.

Ari Shaffir 1:41:25 Pilots would go over there, and then somebody's like, "What's that?" They go, "Oh, yeah, we don't know. We just kind of go over-"

Joe Rogan 1:41:29 Well, they've found a bunch of them now because of AI. You know, they've, like, scanned the areas and found a bunch of previously undiscovered Nazca Lines.

Ari Shaffir 1:41:36 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:41:36 Yeah. And the, the weird thing about it is that's also the place where they find these people with elongated skulls. They find, like, these weird skulls that have additional capacity. So they have, like, 30% more capacity, and they, they don't have the same lines in their skulls that we have, like, when we're babies. You know, when we have these... What are they called?

Ari Shaffir 1:41:55 Are they different species?

Joe Rogan 1:41:55 Sagittal... I forget what the lines are called.

Speaker 1:41:57 Yeah, sagittal crest I think.

Joe Rogan 1:41:57 Sagittal cr- these lines that we have in our skull. You know, like, your skull's not just one piece, right? It's like, it's a bunch of pieces that merge together.

Ari Shaffir 1:42:04 The Incas used to tie them off so they'd get longer as a sign of, like-

Joe Rogan 1:42:07 Yeah, but some of these skulls-

Ari Shaffir 1:42:09 Like, strength

Joe Rogan 1:42:09 ... don't have the same structure as ours. They're human skulls, but they're longer, they have more capacity. They're, like, 30% larger capacity, and they don't have those lines that we have. So it's like, what was that? Were there different kinds of humans back then? Like, is this-

Ari Shaffir 1:42:29 They died out?

Joe Rogan 1:42:30 Were there, were they flying around?

Ari Shaffir 1:42:32 They never kicked out.

Joe Rogan 1:42:32 Were they flying around and making these fucking structures? Were they responsible for Sacsayhuaman and Machu Picchu and all these other places, and they just died off and all we have left is, like, some skulls that we can't totally explain?

Ari Shaffir 1:42:44 We don't have the means to explain it yet.

Joe Rogan 1:42:45 Right, because if it, if it was 20,000 years ago or 30,000 years ago, whatever it was that these people were ruling back then, what would be left? Fucking nothing. Nothing. Very little.

Ari Shaffir 1:42:56 I mean, you look at Angkor Wat where it's like-

Joe Rogan 1:42:59 That's crazy

Ari Shaffir 1:42:59 ... yeah, if you didn't see it-

Joe Rogan 1:43:00 Yeah

Ari Shaffir 1:43:00 ... it's shocking so- any of it remained.

Joe Rogan 1:43:02 Yeah. Well, Angkor Wat's crazy, and how about that other one in India where the entire temple's carved out of one stone?

Ari Shaffir 1:43:08 Or, or the one in-

Joe Rogan 1:43:10 It's carved out-

Ari Shaffir 1:43:10 ... in Jordan, the, um... Let's see. What is it? Fucking... What is those pl- the Indiana Jones one.

Speaker 1:43:17 Mm.

Ari Shaffir 1:43:17 What's that called? That's where I went with my brother.

Joe Rogan 1:43:19 Yeah, what is that called?

Ari Shaffir 1:43:22 See, what-

Joe Rogan 1:43:22 What is it, Jamie?

Speaker 1:43:22 Petra.

Ari Shaffir 1:43:23 Petra.

Joe Rogan 1:43:23 Petra. Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:43:24 It's, it's nuts. You come through this canyon, and it's just in a mountain.

Joe Rogan 1:43:27 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:43:27 A giant three-story t- temple that is just carved.

Joe Rogan 1:43:31 Carved.

Ari Shaffir 1:43:31 They carved out of the mountain.

Joe Rogan 1:43:32 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:43:32 It wasn't added to.

Joe Rogan 1:43:34 Right, and where's the stone? Where'd you, where'd you put the stones? What'd you do?

Ari Shaffir 1:43:37 That view, coming out of the, the middle one, coming out of that cavern and seeing it after about an hour hike.

Joe Rogan 1:43:42 That's crazy.

Ari Shaffir 1:43:43 They don't even... You have to see a human. See how small that person is in the middle?

Joe Rogan 1:43:47 That is so crazy.

Ari Shaffir 1:43:48 Yeah. So, like, what?

Joe Rogan 1:43:50 Right. Have you ever heard of Derinkuyu?

Ari Shaffir 1:43:54 No.

Joe Rogan 1:43:55 In Turkey?

Ari Shaffir 1:43:55 Uh-uh.

Joe Rogan 1:43:56 This is crazy. You wanna hear this one?

Ari Shaffir 1:43:57 It's a place or a person?

Joe Rogan 1:43:58 It's, it's a place. So, um, I think they found this because someone was doing, like, construction on a house.

Ari Shaffir 1:44:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:44:07 And they found a pa- Oh, so this is what it was. So a guy kept losing his chickens. They would go through a hole, and they would never come out. So this guy was like, "Well, where the fuck are these chickens going?" So they broke down the wall to figure out where the chickens go, and they found an underground city that can hold 20,000 people.

Ari Shaffir 1:44:29 Turkey?

Joe Rogan 1:44:29 With many, many levels.

Ari Shaffir 1:44:32 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:44:32 Like, many levels deep into the ground.

Ari Shaffir 1:44:35 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:44:36 It's fucking bananas.

Ari Shaffir 1:44:38 Derinkuyu. Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:44:39 Yeah, it's... Yes.

Ari Shaffir 1:44:40 It's like an anthill.

Joe Rogan 1:44:41 I watched a documentary. Now, you see-

Ari Shaffir 1:44:43 Wow

Joe Rogan 1:44:44 ... like, when you see the where, where you, uh... Could you please go back to that one image with the houses? Yeah, like that. Like, so this guyIt was like behind-

Ari Shaffir 1:44:53 Different living structures

Joe Rogan 1:44:54 ... a fucking wall in a house. So these chickens would go into the hole-

Ari Shaffir 1:44:59 Just go down

Joe Rogan 1:44:59 ... and they would, they would just disappear. So he's like, "Where's my fucking chickens?" So the guy starts digging around to try to figure out where the chickens go, and they found this. And I wanna say they found this in, like, the 20th century. Like, so-

Speaker 1:45:09 Uh, 20- I think it was the '20s, I just saw.

Joe Rogan 1:45:12 1920s?

Speaker 1:45:13 Like, '29 maybe.

Ari Shaffir 1:45:14 Wow. So no, no ... They forgot about it?

Joe Rogan 1:45:16 Nobody knew about it. Nobody knew who made it. There's no record of it, and it, it's, it can-

Ari Shaffir 1:45:22 It's so big and it stayed

Joe Rogan 1:45:23 ... it can house 20,000 people in there.

Ari Shaffir 1:45:26 What was it for?

Joe Rogan 1:45:27 No one knows.

Ari Shaffir 1:45:28 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:45:28 No one knows when.

Ari Shaffir 1:45:29 No records.

Joe Rogan 1:45:29 No one knows who. No one knows nothing. There's other ones they found in China. They found this fucking insane one in China that also has no records. It's enormous, like enormous caverns with giant columns. It's all carved out of the stone. They, they moved millions of tons of rocks out of there. No record. No one knows where the stone went. And you-

Ari Shaffir 1:45:53 I was staying with the Lacandans, Mayans, whatever, and, uh, we were on a hike, and there was this little, like, abandoned temple just the size of this room. And so the guide was like, "So now there's a tunnel in here to, like, the main temple. It's about a mile and a half away, and there's a tunnel where you can go through it."

Joe Rogan 1:46:07 A mile?

Ari Shaffir 1:46:07 "It takes a couple hours to walk."

Joe Rogan 1:46:09 Fuck going through that tunnel.

Ari Shaffir 1:46:09 And he goes, "You know, my brother once," he goes, "I'll never go back. It's so frightening, and there's fucking pumas around, and you don't know."

Joe Rogan 1:46:16 Pumas in the tunnel?

Ari Shaffir 1:46:17 Yeah. You're like, you can't see shit. He goes, "It's a bad place." But it's this long underground tunnel that was made however long ago.

Joe Rogan 1:46:23 This-

Ari Shaffir 1:46:23 What the fuck?

Joe Rogan 1:46:23 This is the one in China.

Speaker 1:46:24 This is, yeah, one of the caves.

Joe Rogan 1:46:26 So this is one of the, these caves in China.

Ari Shaffir 1:46:27 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:46:27 By the way, no record, no historical record of when it was created or who created it.

Ari Shaffir 1:46:33 They put up ... Wow. 2,318.

Joe Rogan 1:46:35 And this is another one that they found. In 1992, they found it. Four farmers in Longyou found the caves, and they drained the water from five small ponds in their village. The ponds turned out to be five large manmade caverns. Further investigation revealed-

Ari Shaffir 1:46:50 Manmade

Joe Rogan 1:46:50 ... 19 more caverns nearby. They've been determined to be more than 2,000 years old, and their construction is not recorded in any historical documents. Like, look how crazy ... Please show some of those images.

Speaker 1:47:01 Yeah. It's the only one on this page. Um.

Ari Shaffir 1:47:03 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:47:03 Like, fucking bananas. So they're just guessing that it's 2,000 years old. They don't know.

Ari Shaffir 1:47:07 Right, right. They're just like, "Here's a thumb, shit."

Joe Rogan 1:47:08 'Cause there's no record. There's no record of it. But it's bananas.

Ari Shaffir 1:47:13 So cool.

Joe Rogan 1:47:13 And they've also, those carvings they think are p- uh, post-

Ari Shaffir 1:47:16 Later people.

Joe Rogan 1:47:17 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:47:17 They came in, what, later.

Joe Rogan 1:47:18 Post discovery.

Ari Shaffir 1:47:19 Yeah. That, that's their way of doing, um-

Joe Rogan 1:47:20 Like, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:47:21 ... vandalism.

Joe Rogan 1:47:21 Because you see how, like, those lines on the walls?

Ari Shaffir 1:47:24 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 1:47:24 That's how everything looks. It's just those carved straight lines, and it looks like the other stuff was, like, more modern that they carved later.

Ari Shaffir 1:47:30 Do you think those lines are so that the erosion wouldn't hurt it as much?

Joe Rogan 1:47:33 I don't know. I mean, that might've been how they did it.

Ari Shaffir 1:47:35 Work while they're done.

Joe Rogan 1:47:35 They might've had some sort of a device that they carved the stone out with. But the thing is, it's like these are-

Ari Shaffir 1:47:41 Where is this? Where is this on a map? Show me where, where Longyou is on a map.

Speaker 1:47:44 Yeah. Uh.

Ari Shaffir 1:47:45 I wanna visit a lot of China.

Joe Rogan 1:47:47 Ooh.

Ari Shaffir 1:47:47 There's some, a lot of places in there that I'm like, don't know about.

Joe Rogan 1:47:50 China's a big ass place, huh?

Ari Shaffir 1:47:51 Back, back out. Back out.

Joe Rogan 1:47:53 Dun, dun, dun.

Ari Shaffir 1:47:53 China's so big.

Joe Rogan 1:47:55 Longyou Caverns.

Ari Shaffir 1:47:56 Keep going back.

Joe Rogan 1:47:57 Do, do, do.

Ari Shaffir 1:47:57 Whoa. Keep going back.

Joe Rogan 1:47:59 Do, do, do.

Ari Shaffir 1:47:59 Let me see the context.

Joe Rogan 1:48:00 Do, do, do. Oh my God.

Ari Shaffir 1:48:03 That's pretty deep in there.

Speaker 1:48:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:48:04 Good luck.

Ari Shaffir 1:48:05 Good luck.

Joe Rogan 1:48:05 It's near Wuhan. Look.

Ari Shaffir 1:48:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:48:07 Take a train to Wuhan. Catch a, catch a bug.

Ari Shaffir 1:48:09 Yeah. Go eat some armadillo.

Joe Rogan 1:48:10 [laughs] A pangolin.

Ari Shaffir 1:48:12 A pangolin.

Joe Rogan 1:48:13 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 1:48:13 That's how you got leprosy, eating armadillo and pangolin.

Joe Rogan 1:48:15 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 1:48:16 You're really not supposed to eat those things.

Joe Rogan 1:48:17 Like, go back to the images, please. The images are nuts, man.

Speaker 1:48:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:48:21 It's like, what, what were these people doing? Like, why ... W- who, who made this?

Ari Shaffir 1:48:26 I love standing in a place like that and just, like, you just instantly get connected to the, the history of it.

Joe Rogan 1:48:31 Could you imagine it's 1992 and you're just draining a pond. You're a farmer, and then you drain the pond, and you go, "Oh, there's, like, a cave in here."

Ari Shaffir 1:48:40 Open it, finds some nickels.

Joe Rogan 1:48:42 "What's, what's in the cave?" And you go and you see this shit, and no one knows who made it. No ... And China, again, China has extensive historical records, 'cause China has existed for thousands and thousands of years. It's one of the few countries that's essentially been just China-

Ari Shaffir 1:48:57 Right

Joe Rogan 1:48:57 ... for 5,000-plus years. Bananas, man.

Ari Shaffir 1:49:02 Aquarium for real dragons.

Joe Rogan 1:49:04 [laughs]

Speaker 1:49:06 They gotta keep them somewhere.

Joe Rogan 1:49:07 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 1:49:08 [sighs]

Joe Rogan 1:49:09 Well, I mean, who made it, and how did they make it? Like, how did they do that?

Ari Shaffir 1:49:13 And for what, and, yeah, wh-

Joe Rogan 1:49:14 For what purpose? How did they make that 2,000-plus years ... And by saying 2,000, it's like you're just-

Ari Shaffir 1:49:21 2,000 means-

Joe Rogan 1:49:21 ... taking a guess

Ari Shaffir 1:49:21 ... so there's a, there's a Joan Didion, or a, a piece on, um, on, um, El Salvador, uh, from a long time ago, and she goes, "They don't use numbers the way we use numbers. They say 50. It means a bunch."

Joe Rogan 1:49:33 Oh.

Ari Shaffir 1:49:34 So, like-

Joe Rogan 1:49:34 Like 72 virgins.

Ari Shaffir 1:49:35 Yeah. It means just a bunch. A, a, an amount.

Joe Rogan 1:49:37 Just a bunch of virgins.

Ari Shaffir 1:49:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:49:37 Like, "Bro, he, he went there a million times."

Ari Shaffir 1:49:40 Tons. Tons of-

Joe Rogan 1:49:40 Yeah

Ari Shaffir 1:49:41 ... tons of fu-

Joe Rogan 1:49:41 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:49:41 Like, what is a ton? That's, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:49:42 "Oh, bro, I smoke tons of joints."

Ari Shaffir 1:49:44 Yeah. [laughs] Like just-

Joe Rogan 1:49:45 No, that's not possible

Ari Shaffir 1:49:45 ... break it down.

Joe Rogan 1:49:46 So Perplexity, our AI sponsor, says, "No one knows for certain who created the Longyou Caves. Archeologists agree they are manmade and probably over 2,000 years old, but there's no record of their builders or patrons." That's crazy, dude.

Ari Shaffir 1:50:00 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:50:00 That is so cra- oh, pottery and other finds inside date roughly to the late Qin or Western Han period, around 200 BCE, suggesting they were excavated at or before that time. But the thing is, that pottery-

Ari Shaffir 1:50:13 That means they were in there then.

Joe Rogan 1:50:14 But that pottery-

Ari Shaffir 1:50:15 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:50:15 ... could've been someone who just left pottery-

Ari Shaffir 1:50:17 Later. Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:50:18 ... later.

Ari Shaffir 1:50:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:50:18 Like thou- it's like if you leave behind a cellphone in Egypt, and 5,000 years from now, people say, "Oh, well this is an iPhone 16. This must be from-"

Ari Shaffir 1:50:25 But that means it has to be at least that old or older.

Joe Rogan 1:50:28 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:50:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:50:28 At least that old or older.

Ari Shaffir 1:50:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:50:29 So it's at least 2,000-plus years old. But how crazy is it that there's no known records?

Ari Shaffir 1:50:35 Should go in quick and just bury some, like, shit from a long time ago.

Joe Rogan 1:50:38 But how much-

Ari Shaffir 1:50:38 Get some artifacts and just leave it in there

Joe Rogan 1:50:40 ... how much shit-

Ari Shaffir 1:50:41 And step away

Joe Rogan 1:50:41 ... like that is still out there in other parts of the world where they don't know about it, and no one's found it yet?

Ari Shaffir 1:50:45 Well, it's like this tunnel that the, that the Mayan guy said. He was like, "Yeah, no one knows. Or no one..." He goes, "Me and my, my friends know about it."

Joe Rogan 1:50:50 Fuck.

Ari Shaffir 1:50:51 So it's just, like, everywhere.

Joe Rogan 1:50:53 Well, we were talking about the Aztecs, about how the Aztecs, and this is another thing that I found out through Perplexity when I was just ... I was writing this thing about Mexico and about how crazy the history of Mexico is. And, you know, that the Spaniards came over with essentially, like, 12 muskets and took over the whole country. But when they, when the Aztecs were living in these temples, they didn't build them. They called them the place where the gods were born. So they found them. So there's a previous civilization that, like Teotiquac- or Teotihuacán and all these other-

Ari Shaffir 1:51:25 Teotihuacán. Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:51:25 ... beautiful pyramids and temples. They don't know who fucking made all that.

Ari Shaffir 1:51:29 Teotihuacán. Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:51:30 So they don't know who made them.

Speaker 1:51:32 That cave in Vietnam was found in 1991.

Joe Rogan 1:51:36 Oh, the, the ... I saw the 60-

Ari Shaffir 1:51:37 The abyss

Joe Rogan 1:51:37 ... Minutes thing on that. Did you see that?

Ari Shaffir 1:51:39 Look at that.

Joe Rogan 1:51:40 That dude from 60 Minutes, like a dude and a lady from 60 Minutes went and visited this cave. And I was like, "That-"

Ari Shaffir 1:51:45 Looks haunted as fuck

Joe Rogan 1:51:47 ... that's one cool thing about something like 60 Minutes-

Ari Shaffir 1:51:49 They could do that

Joe Rogan 1:51:50 ... that they would do something like that, 'cause the, it's a long journey.

Ari Shaffir 1:51:53 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:51:53 You have to fly in, drive a long distance, then hike a long distance.

Ari Shaffir 1:51:57 Yeah, some of these places aren't any-- nothing's there.

Joe Rogan 1:51:59 You could fit skyscrapers inside of these caves.

Ari Shaffir 1:52:01 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:52:02 They have their own ecosystems. Like, there's clouds in there. It probably fucking rains inside the caves.

Ari Shaffir 1:52:08 There's insects, there's animals that live in these caves that have, over time, lost their ability to see 'cause they didn't need it, so their, their hearing goes up, their sight goes down.

Joe Rogan 1:52:16 Ooh.

Ari Shaffir 1:52:16 There's, like, bugs in, like, Thailand and, like, Sapaan and places like that where it's like, oh yeah, these places, these, these animals only exist here.

Joe Rogan 1:52:22 They hear you breathe and leap up.

Speaker 1:52:23 There's, there's a salamander in Barton Creek S- Springs [laughs] that only exists there.

Ari Shaffir 1:52:26 Yeah, a special salamander. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:52:28 Oh, really? It only lives there?

Speaker 1:52:29 Fucking hippie salamander that got mixed with [laughs] weird people swimming in the creek. Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:52:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:52:33 Oh, whoa.

Ari Shaffir 1:52:34 Yeah.

Speaker 1:52:34 It only lives- it's only here.

Ari Shaffir 1:52:35 They sur- they survive on chicks with arm hair. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:52:37 [laughs]

Speaker 1:52:37 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 1:52:38 That it's only able to survive here in East Austin.

Joe Rogan 1:52:39 Hippie menstrual cycles.

Ari Shaffir 1:52:41 Yeah. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:52:42 Yeah, I was doing Bottom of the Barrel last night and somebody brought up that there's, like, there's nude beaches at Lake Travis. And I'm like, "What is it like?" And they're like-

Ari Shaffir 1:52:49 Barton Springs.

Speaker 1:52:50 No, no.

Joe Rogan 1:52:51 No, no, no.

Ari Shaffir 1:52:51 Barton's topless.

Speaker 1:52:51 You know, when you take a ... Well, maybe, but yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:52:53 Is it?

Speaker 1:52:53 When you take one of those boat rides out, they'll take you to-

Joe Rogan 1:52:54 Chicks, they show the-

Ari Shaffir 1:52:56 Bro.

Joe Rogan 1:52:56 Yeah?

Ari Shaffir 1:52:57 It's noice.

Joe Rogan 1:52:57 Noice?

Ari Shaffir 1:52:58 Yeah. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:52:58 Noice?

Ari Shaffir 1:52:59 It's noice.

Joe Rogan 1:52:59 Hippie tits?

Ari Shaffir 1:53:00 Hippie ... Some of them are gross hippie tits, but some of them are, like, real tits, dude.

Joe Rogan 1:53:03 [laughs]

Speaker 1:53:04 Real ones.

Ari Shaffir 1:53:04 Influencers, influencers go there, too.

Joe Rogan 1:53:05 Oh, like girls who've did too much ayahuasca and they wear wooden beads and they want their tits out?

Ari Shaffir 1:53:10 Dude, so I was in m- I was in, uh, Patagonia where I was, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:53:12 Hippie Hollow Park. 4.6 stars.

Speaker 1:53:14 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:53:15 That's a lot.

Speaker 1:53:15 Not bad.

Ari Shaffir 1:53:16 I was asking people, so it was a, it was a rafting thing, and I was like, "Who's the worst?" I always try to do this, especially at comedy clubs too. "Who's the worst person you've ever had here?"

Joe Rogan 1:53:23 Right.

Ari Shaffir 1:53:24 So then I was like, "Which country, which people are the worst?" And they go, "I don't know." I'm like, "Listen, I'm from Jews, so you can s- it's Jews, right?" [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:53:29 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:53:29 And they go, "Yeah, I mean, they want freebies for sure." But, like, uh, I was trying to get which, which country's the worst, and he goes, "Well, the worst overall, though, is influencers."

Joe Rogan 1:53:38 Oh.

Ari Shaffir 1:53:38 And they have no country. But they make everything about them.

Joe Rogan 1:53:41 Right.

Ari Shaffir 1:53:41 They make you pause too long to take their shots. They make you get out of their shot.

Joe Rogan 1:53:44 Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:53:45 We're all just trying to raft. They think they're there for them.

Joe Rogan 1:53:47 Yeah. Ugh.

Ari Shaffir 1:53:49 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 1:53:49 One of the influencers got arrested in Korea. Johnny Somali. Do you know who that guy is?

Ari Shaffir 1:53:54 Mm-mm.

Joe Rogan 1:53:55 He was in Korea, and apparently they have some statue that is about [sighs] I think it's something about sex slavery or something like that, so he was, like, kissing the statue and being rude to people, and they just sentenced him to ... He did a bunch of shit over there. They sentenced him to six months of hard labor-

Ari Shaffir 1:54:15 Wow

Joe Rogan 1:54:16 ... in Korea.

Ari Shaffir 1:54:17 We need some of that here for influencers.

Joe Rogan 1:54:18 Mm.

Ari Shaffir 1:54:19 Quit doing fucking selfie talking on the, while you're walking.

Joe Rogan 1:54:23 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:54:23 You're not a Black lady. You don't get to talk to your phone.

Joe Rogan 1:54:26 [laughs]

Speaker 1:54:27 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:54:27 Black ladies get to talk to their phone?

Ari Shaffir 1:54:28 Oh, they love speakerphone.

Joe Rogan 1:54:30 Why do they do it like that?

Ari Shaffir 1:54:30 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 1:54:31 It used to be a-

Ari Shaffir 1:54:32 It's just Black ladies. Like, "Da, da, da, ma, da, na, na, ma, ma." And it's like w-

Joe Rogan 1:54:36 Why do you think they like that?

Ari Shaffir 1:54:38 Why do they like it?

Joe Rogan 1:54:39 Mm.

Ari Shaffir 1:54:39 They want everyone to hear their conversation. Maybe 'cause their fucking nails will cut up their face if they bring it too close.

Joe Rogan 1:54:43 [laughs]

Ari Shaffir 1:54:45 [laughs] I'm trying to think of possible reasons.

Joe Rogan 1:54:47 It is weird where, like, certain cultures gravitate towards certain behavior and activities.

Ari Shaffir 1:54:52 It's new racism. It's fun, 'cause it's like this isn't in the books.

Joe Rogan 1:54:55 Right.

Ari Shaffir 1:54:56 This is a b- a brand new observation.

Joe Rogan 1:54:58 The speakerphone thing. Speakerphone is like ... I remember being outside of Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles and saying, like, "How many ... How, how come so many Black guys are on speakerphone?" And people are like, "That's racist." I'm like, "No, it's not."

Ari Shaffir 1:55:07 No, it's an observational.

Joe Rogan 1:55:09 I'm observing.

Ari Shaffir 1:55:10 Yeah. I'm not mad at them.

Joe Rogan 1:55:11 Yeah, I don't care.

Ari Shaffir 1:55:12 I'm just wondering why.

Joe Rogan 1:55:13 Like, why is it worse th- that I hear both sides of the conversation versus one side? Like, if someone's just talking on the phone, why is that less offensive than someone talking through a speakerphone?

Ari Shaffir 1:55:23 You can observe why do the Hasidic Jews always talk on flip phones all the time, and you're like, there's something up. Or why-

Joe Rogan 1:55:29 Do they?

Ari Shaffir 1:55:29 Yeah. There's some where it's like why do the ... Some people used to ask me that when I would do Q&As when I was doing the Jew Hour, building it.

Joe Rogan 1:55:34 [laughs] Jew and A's.

Ari Shaffir 1:55:34 So they'd ask questions. Doing check drops, I'd be like, "Ask questions," and I would build my material that way.

Joe Rogan 1:55:39 Oh, that's smart.

Ari Shaffir 1:55:40 But one of them was like, "Why do they all wear matching clothes, the daughters?" Or, like, if one's 10, one's eight, why do they wear matching stuff? I, that's the only one I couldn't figure out until I finally figured it out. It's, um, two-for-one sales.

Joe Rogan 1:55:51 United threatens to kick off passengers who don't use headphones.

Ari Shaffir 1:55:54 Yeah. Good.

Joe Rogan 1:55:55 Oh, well that's because people are, like, listening to, like, loud YouTube videos right next to you.

Ari Shaffir 1:56:00 Bro.

Joe Rogan 1:56:00 That is annoying.

Ari Shaffir 1:56:00 All over South America.

Joe Rogan 1:56:02 Oh, really?

Ari Shaffir 1:56:02 It is scroll Instagram videos-

Joe Rogan 1:56:05 Loud

Ari Shaffir 1:56:05 ... loudly. There's no even thought ... We were on an overnight bus once, and there was a guy listening to, like, best Hollywood screams.

Joe Rogan 1:56:13 Mm.

Ari Shaffir 1:56:13 [laughs] And it was like, "Dude, we're sleeping."

Joe Rogan 1:56:16 Oh, God.

Ari Shaffir 1:56:17 It's cr- it's crazy. They just don't do it. And you wanna be like, "Be quiet," but they'll be like, "Why? It's not part of our culture."

Joe Rogan 1:56:22 It's like the Dominican pool hall.

Ari Shaffir 1:56:23 Yeah, exactly.

Joe Rogan 1:56:24 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:56:24 "This is how we do it."

Joe Rogan 1:56:25 They're just used to the chaos.

Ari Shaffir 1:56:26 We ... Ugh.

Joe Rogan 1:56:28 It is weird that, like, people get used to a certain amount of chaos, you know?

Ari Shaffir 1:56:32 And that's just normal.

Joe Rogan 1:56:33 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:56:33 New York is a normal ... Jackhammer's like-

Joe Rogan 1:56:35 Right

Ari Shaffir 1:56:35 ... nothing.

Joe Rogan 1:56:36 Yeah.

Ari Shaffir 1:56:36 It's no sounds.

Joe Rogan 1:56:36 If you live in New York, you're totally accustomed to ... Oh, that was what I wanted to send you, Jamie. I don't know, maybe I did send it to you the other day, about where they figured out that there's a part of your brain that recognizes-

Speaker 1:56:47 Yeah, yeah

Joe Rogan 1:56:47 ... when birds aren't chirping.

Ari Shaffir 1:56:48 Ooh.

Joe Rogan 1:56:49 And you, you kind of freak out. Like, your brain-

Ari Shaffir 1:56:51 'Cause there should be some background noise.

Joe Rogan 1:56:52 Right. Well, if birds aren't chirping, it generally means that predators-

Ari Shaffir 1:56:56 Earthquake