Joe Rogan Experience #2507 - Harland Williams

1. 0:00 – 0:02

   Intro

   1. SPSpeaker0:00

      [upbeat music]

2. 0:02 – 3:54

   Billy the 'kid' memorial tattoo and absurd goat tragedy

   1. SPSpeaker0:02

      Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.

   2. JRJoe Rogan0:04

      The Joe Rogan Experience.

   3. SPSpeaker0:06

      Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night. All day. [upbeat music]

   4. JRJoe Rogan0:13

      [laughs] Dimitry was here when Donald Trump was here.

   5. SPSpeaker0:16

      Wow, that made my day.

   6. JRJoe Rogan0:17

      It was important. Doesn't matter what side.

   7. SPSpeaker0:19

      It doesn't?

   8. JRJoe Rogan0:20

      No.

   9. SPSpeaker0:21

      There we go.

   10. JRJoe Rogan0:22

       Um-

   11. SPSpeaker0:23

       Wow, these are nice.

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:24

       Dimitry the Snake.

   13. SPSpeaker0:26

       Yeah, tapeworm.

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:26

       There he is. Oh, that's right.

   15. SPSpeaker0:28

       Tapeworm, yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:29

       What's going on with your face? What are you doing?

   17. SPSpeaker0:32

       Ah. This is a tight one for me today, guy.

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:35

       [laughs]

   19. SPSpeaker0:38

       Wha- [laughs] I'm feeling ripe.

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:43

       What is that?

   21. SPSpeaker0:44

       It's a-

   22. JRJoe Rogan0:45

       What does that say? It says Betty?

   23. SPSpeaker0:46

       Billy.

   24. JRJoe Rogan0:47

       Billy. Oh, B-I-

   25. SPSpeaker0:49

       L-L-Y.

   26. JRJoe Rogan0:50

       Oh, okay.

   27. SPSpeaker0:50

       It's a, uh, whew. It's a memorial tattoo. I don't know if you knew this or not, but, uh, whew, my, uh, my kid got hit by a truck.

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:10

       When did you have a kid?

   29. SPSpeaker1:12

       About two years ago. I haven't told anyone. I was ashamed. It was a one-night stand. Kid. [smacks lips]

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:25

       Is it a human kid?
3. 3:54 – 7:02

   Goat tacos, cockfights, and the leap to political leadership by dominance

   1. JRJoe Rogan3:54

      Sure. First time I ever had it was in LA at a Mexican spot. They sell, they were selling goat tacos. They were delicious.

   2. SPSpeaker4:00

      Oh my God.

   3. JRJoe Rogan4:01

      Yeah, and then I had a, a neighbor, well, not a neighbor, he was a landscaper, that was a friend of mine, that would, uh, he would fight chickens. They'd do chicken fights.

   4. SPSpeaker4:10

      Cockfights.

   5. JRJoe Rogan4:11

      Yeah.

   6. SPSpeaker4:12

      Yeah, I've had those.

   7. JRJoe Rogan4:13

      Trying to be polite, cleaning up for the viewers.

   8. SPSpeaker4:15

      Well-

   9. JRJoe Rogan4:15

      Chicken, chicken fights

   10. SPSpeaker4:17

       ... cock is kind of the technical name.

   11. JRJoe Rogan4:19

       Seems wrong.

   12. SPSpeaker4:21

       Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan4:21

       When you're saying it.

   14. SPSpeaker4:23

       Have you ever...

   15. JRJoe Rogan4:24

       I don't like how you're saying it. But anyway, they would roast a goat, he told me, uh, whenever they would do a co- cockfight.

   16. SPSpeaker4:31

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan4:31

       Feel better? Feel better?

   18. SPSpeaker4:32

       Well, it's not for me.

   19. JRJoe Rogan4:33

       Is that better?

   20. SPSpeaker4:33

       It's for-

   21. JRJoe Rogan4:34

       For the culture.

   22. SPSpeaker4:35

       For the... Yeah, at the end, I mean, it is what it is.

   23. JRJoe Rogan4:37

       Yeah. So in other words, I don't-

   24. SPSpeaker4:38

       A pit bull fights a pit bull fight

   25. JRJoe Rogan4:39

       ... actually, I wonder how you say it in Spanish, 'cause he, he-

   26. SPSpeaker4:41

       El coco

   27. JRJoe Rogan4:42

       ... so anyway, he lived in this neighborhood, you would swear to God that it was Mexico. It was crazy. Like, every sign was in Spanish, all the people were Spanish, and there was roosters everywhere. You just, on his street, you would hear [imitates rooster crowing] like, all day long. It was like, it was crazy. And so he had this friend of mine-

   28. SPSpeaker4:57

       Yeah

   29. JRJoe Rogan4:57

       ... a friend of his, rather. Uh, he went to his, the, we went to the backyard, and in the backyard, there's just stacks and stacks of rooster cages. They had so many roosters, and they had these prize roosters, and they had a whole pit. So they had a thing, it was almost like a barn-looking area.

   30. SPSpeaker5:11

       Right.
4. 7:02 – 11:24

   Bring back duels: historical political violence and consequences

   1. JRJoe Rogan7:02

      And the, everyone wants to kill you. Like, who the fuck would want to be president? This is why voting for president is a real problem.

   2. SPSpeaker7:11

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan7:11

      Like, in 2028 everybody's like, "Who's gonna win in 2028? Who's gonna win?" Who's gonna run? Who wants-

   4. SPSpeaker7:18

      Yeah

   5. JRJoe Rogan7:18

      ... that fucking job? What normal, healthy person wants that job, where at least half the country's gonna fucking hate you, and the people that you got in, that got you in, like, they're not gonna be happy-

   6. SPSpeaker7:29

      Yeah

   7. JRJoe Rogan7:29

      ... 'cause you're never gonna be able to do what you're saying you wanna do. It's not even possible. What'd you just put up, Jim?

   8. SPSpeaker7:34

      Uh, I was gonna say, do you think they could start dueling again like they did in the [laughs] 17 and 1800s?

   9. JRJoe Rogan7:39

      No, they used to duel.

   10. SPSpeaker7:40

       Oh.

   11. JRJoe Rogan7:40

       Yeah.

   12. SPSpeaker7:41

       A duel, yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan7:42

       Many periods of history. According to Perplexity, our AR sponsor, politicians fought literally with fists, canes, swords, and pistols-

   14. SPSpeaker7:50

       [laughs]

   15. JRJoe Rogan7:50

       ... and some famous ones were killed or badly injured in these clashes. 1700s to 1800s, dueling was a common way for gentlemen and politicians to defend their honor in Europe and the United States. That would be sick if congressmen, you know, if, like, on... They start screaming and yelling at each other like they always do.

   16. SPSpeaker8:07

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan8:07

       "I challenge you to a duel."

   18. SPSpeaker8:09

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan8:09

       And everyone's like, "Oh, let's fucking go." [clapping]

   20. SPSpeaker8:13

       Yeah, yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan8:13

       And they go out on the White House lawn.

   22. SPSpeaker8:15

       Andrew Jackson killed Charles Dickinson?

   23. JRJoe Rogan8:17

       Yeah.

   24. SPSpeaker8:19

       The author?

   25. JRJoe Rogan8:20

       And was wounded himself.

   26. SPSpeaker8:21

       That's not the author, is it?

   27. JRJoe Rogan8:22

       No, no, no, no, no.

   28. SPSpeaker8:23

       Okay.

   29. SPSpeaker8:23

       I mean, that's-

   30. JRJoe Rogan8:24

       That's Dickens. That's Dickens.
5. 11:24 – 14:41

   UFC on the White House lawn and the Iran war debate

   1. JRJoe Rogan11:24

      There's gonna be a UFC on the White House lawn.

   2. SPSpeaker11:27

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan11:28

      That seems like a good, safe place to be, huh? Everyone's gonna know where all the world leaders are gonna be.

   4. SPSpeaker11:32

      [laughs]

   5. JRJoe Rogan11:33

      We're all gonna be stuck-

   6. SPSpeaker11:34

      Yeah

   7. JRJoe Rogan11:34

      ... sitting in that spot for six hours, calling fights.

   8. SPSpeaker11:37

      Yes. You're gonna be there, right?

   9. JRJoe Rogan11:38

      Super safe.

   10. SPSpeaker11:39

       You're gonna-

   11. JRJoe Rogan11:39

       I feel completely safe.

   12. SPSpeaker11:40

       [laughs] You're gonna be there, right?

   13. JRJoe Rogan11:41

       Yeah. Oh, I'm gonna be there.

   14. SPSpeaker11:43

       Do you, do you like the concept of it or no?

   15. JRJoe Rogan11:45

       I do not like it, no.

   16. SPSpeaker11:46

       How come, guy?

   17. JRJoe Rogan11:47

       Because it's outside, and I think world-

   18. SPSpeaker11:49

       Oh

   19. JRJoe Rogan11:49

       ... championship fights should be in a controlled environment-

   20. SPSpeaker11:52

       Yeah

   21. JRJoe Rogan11:53

       ... because out of respect for the athletes and how difficult it is to compete professionally in a world title. However-

   22. SPSpeaker11:58

       Yeah

   23. JRJoe Rogan11:59

       ... I should say, however, it's gonna be a spectacle. Whether I was there or not, I would be watching 100%.

   24. SPSpeaker12:05

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan12:06

       It's, uh... I think it's awesome that Trump... This is one of the things that I like about him.

   26. SPSpeaker12:10

       Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan12:10

       He's like, "Fuck it. Let's do it."

   28. SPSpeaker12:12

       Yeah, yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan12:12

       He, he puts on-... cage fights on the White House lawn.

   30. SPSpeaker12:15

       Yeah.
6. 14:41 – 21:28

   Trident submarine deterrence and life beneath the surface (jerking off, women, and poop)

   1. SPSpeaker14:41

      I don't think we're ever under-armed when we have our Triton submarine force lurking in the oceans 24/7 and nobody knows they're there, even members of American military.

   2. JRJoe Rogan14:52

      What do you know? How do you know this?

   3. SPSpeaker14:53

      Oh, I know things, guy.

   4. JRJoe Rogan14:54

      Who, did Billy tell you this?

   5. SPSpeaker14:55

      Billy? [laughs] Billy's dead.

   6. JRJoe Rogan14:57

      [laughs]

   7. SPSpeaker14:58

      Billy-

   8. JRJoe Rogan14:58

      Wait a minute. Do you know something about these Triton submarines for real?

   9. SPSpeaker15:01

      I sure do.

   10. JRJoe Rogan15:01

       What do you know?

   11. SPSpeaker15:02

       Well, they're, they're s- they're circumnavigating our oceans 24/7.

   12. JRJoe Rogan15:07

       How many are there?

   13. SPSpeaker15:08

       I think there's a fleet of 12 to 24. I think it's closer to 12, but these things can stay underwater for up to a year, and most members of our American government don't even know they're there.

   14. JRJoe Rogan15:20

       Wow.

   15. SPSpeaker15:20

       They don't know where they are.

   16. JRJoe Rogan15:22

       How much underwater jerking off is going on right now?

   17. SPSpeaker15:25

       Well, think about it. One Triton submarine, Trident submarine-

   18. JRJoe Rogan15:29

       Has how many guys on it?

   19. SPSpeaker15:30

       I don't know how many guys, but it has something like 24 nuclear warheads-

   20. JRJoe Rogan15:34

       And how many guys jerking off?

   21. SPSpeaker15:35

       ... and each warhead has 24 that break off. So one of these submarines could take out half the world, and we've got them going all the time. So whenever you're afraid of any little hot spot in the world, just remember that we have this going on in the ocean. A lot of people don't know about it.

   22. JRJoe Rogan15:51

       I like you say this we shit when you're Canadian.

   23. SPSpeaker15:53

       Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan15:54

       Interesting.

   25. SPSpeaker15:55

       Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan15:56

       When the shit hits the fan, Canadians like to pretend they're Americans. Gotta like it.

   27. SPSpeaker15:59

       [laughs] I'm just not worried.

   28. JRJoe Rogan16:01

       [laughs]

   29. SPSpeaker16:01

       Like, I'm not worried about America ever being vulnerable. It's, it's an area, it's, it's the, a nautical force that you don't really hear about, but if you were to look it up, there's this, there's this force out there that could take out the world.

   30. JRJoe Rogan16:15

       Well, Jamie just looked it up.
7. 21:28 – 24:06

   Underwater UFO bases, transmedium crafts, and the Mariana Trench logic puzzle

   1. JRJoe Rogan21:28

      Maybe that's why the aliens are under the water. Maybe they're the ones that survived-

   2. SPSpeaker21:32

      You believe that?

   3. JRJoe Rogan21:33

      ... the apocalypse.

   4. SPSpeaker21:35

      Yeah, I don't know about the aliens under the water.

   5. JRJoe Rogan21:37

      Congressman Tim Burchett was on this podcast.

   6. SPSpeaker21:39

      Well, what does he know?

   7. JRJoe Rogan21:41

      And he said that there are three... Did he say three bases or five?

   8. SPSpeaker21:44

      I don't remember.

   9. SPSpeaker21:45

      When your last name's Bullshit, how, how-

   10. JRJoe Rogan21:47

       No, no, no.

   11. SPSpeaker21:47

       What is it?

   12. JRJoe Rogan21:48

       It's Burchett.

   13. SPSpeaker21:49

       Oh, Burchett.

   14. JRJoe Rogan21:49

       It's Burchett.

   15. SPSpeaker21:49

       I'm sorry.

   16. JRJoe Rogan21:50

       He's a very honest man.

   17. SPSpeaker21:52

       So what did he say?

   18. JRJoe Rogan21:53

       He said that there's these three loca- I think it's three. See, three or five, I can't remember which one he said.

   19. SPSpeaker21:58

       Hang on, let me tell you. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.

   20. JRJoe Rogan22:00

       [laughs]

   21. SPSpeaker22:00

       [laughs]

   22. SPSpeaker22:01

       Five.

   23. JRJoe Rogan22:02

       [laughs] So he said there's these spots under the o- ocean-

   24. SPSpeaker22:05

       Yeah

   25. JRJoe Rogan22:06

       ... where regularly they have these events where things come out of the ocean.

   26. SPSpeaker22:10

       When you say things, are we talking giant squid? Are we talking extraterrestrial?

   27. JRJoe Rogan22:15

       They're talking crafts that move in a way that we can't right now. 500 miles an hour under the water. They're transmedia, meaning they can go above the ground and in the water with no, it doesn't seem like it's causing them any resistance.

   28. SPSpeaker22:29

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan22:29

       Burchett there said there are five underwater bases.

   30. SPSpeaker22:32

       Wow.
8. 24:06 – 26:22

   Spielberg’s ‘Disclosure Day’ clip, nail paranoia, and the aye-aye tangent

   1. SPSpeaker24:06

      Oh, wow.

   2. JRJoe Rogan24:07

      You scratch pe- you're gonna scratch me-

   3. SPSpeaker24:07

      He's a nose picker

   4. JRJoe Rogan24:09

      ... with those nails.

   5. SPSpeaker24:09

      Some people keep them long to get boogers.

   6. JRJoe Rogan24:11

      Is that what you do, Sean?

   7. SPSpeaker24:12

      Spiel- Spielberg probably likes to pull out a, crank out a greenie.

   8. JRJoe Rogan24:15

      Boy.

   9. SPSpeaker24:16

      [laughs] Yeah. Picture Spielberg laying in bed at night just cranking out a greenie and eating it.

   10. JRJoe Rogan24:21

       So he said that he believes that we are being v- visited much... [laughs] I don't think he does that. He's a respectable man.

   11. SPSpeaker24:28

       Look at those nails.

   12. JRJoe Rogan24:29

       He's son of a bitch.

   13. SPSpeaker24:29

       Those are booger-picking nails.

   14. JRJoe Rogan24:30

       No, he's just too busy to trim his nails.

   15. SPSpeaker24:32

       I don't know. He probably could have someone trim those-

   16. JRJoe Rogan24:35

       I don't think-

   17. SPSpeaker24:35

       ... dirty booger nails.

   18. JRJoe Rogan24:36

       You think that's what they are?

   19. SPSpeaker24:37

       He looks like an aye-aye almost.

   20. JRJoe Rogan24:39

       What if we had like one long coke nail? What if we had like one long pinky nail?

   21. SPSpeaker24:43

       Like an aye-aye.

   22. JRJoe Rogan24:44

       Like a fucking coke nail, bro.

   23. SPSpeaker24:46

       You ever seen an aye-aye?

   24. JRJoe Rogan24:47

       It's like those dudes, they grow the pinky nail long to let everybody know they do coke.

   25. SPSpeaker24:51

       Pull up an aye-aye, Jamie.

   26. SPSpeaker24:53

       What is that?

   27. JRJoe Rogan24:53

       What does that mean?

   28. SPSpeaker24:54

       You'll see in a second, Dr. Coke Nail.

   29. JRJoe Rogan24:57

       How do you spell it? Jesus.

   30. SPSpeaker24:57

       A-Y-E A-Y-E.
9. 26:22 – 38:33

   ‘Roger’ meaning, pirate eye patches, and arguing over trivia accuracy

   1. JRJoe Rogan26:22

      Let's find out if that's true.

   2. SPSpeaker26:23

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan26:23

      I was gonna-

   4. SPSpeaker26:24

      Find out-

   5. JRJoe Rogan26:24

      What, what is Roger, the term roger that, where does that come from?

   6. SPSpeaker26:28

      As I'm looking that up, do you know why pirates wear an eye patch?

   7. SPSpeaker26:30

      Yes.

   8. JRJoe Rogan26:30

      'Cause they cut their fucking eye off.

   9. SPSpeaker26:32

      No.

   10. JRJoe Rogan26:33

       Oh, so they could, uh, see better at distance?

   11. SPSpeaker26:35

       At night under the, under the ship 'cause it's dark.

   12. JRJoe Rogan26:37

       Right.

   13. SPSpeaker26:38

       Oh.

   14. JRJoe Rogan26:38

       Yeah. The, it's, uh, for when, you know, light, when you get accustomed to darkness.

   15. SPSpeaker26:45

       Mm.

   16. JRJoe Rogan26:45

       The more you... But why does, why does having one eye closed... So do they put the patch over the other eye when they go under-

   17. SPSpeaker26:54

       Yeah

   18. JRJoe Rogan26:54

       ... at night?

   19. SPSpeaker26:55

       You s- you switch.

   20. JRJoe Rogan26:55

       Whoa.

   21. SPSpeaker26:57

       They switch eyes.

   22. JRJoe Rogan26:58

       So they, they never have to get adjusted to the dark. Whoa, that's crazy.

   23. SPSpeaker27:02

       Yeah, it said Roger has to do with Morse code or-

   24. JRJoe Rogan27:05

       That is actually kind of amazing. What a smart move.

   25. SPSpeaker27:08

       Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan27:08

       You put one patch over your eye during the daytime and one patch at night-

   27. SPSpeaker27:12

       Mm-hmm

   28. JRJoe Rogan27:12

       ... and you can always see. Huh.

   29. SPSpeaker27:15

       Yep.

   30. JRJoe Rogan27:16

       Originally stood for the letter R, which is used as shorthand for received in Morse code-
10. 38:33 – 1:01:48

    YouTube copyright claims, Joe’s shirt-off moment, and the fake ‘Garra rufa’ legs reveal

    1. SPSpeaker38:33

       Oh

    2. JRJoe Rogan38:33

       ... you get dinged-

    3. SPSpeaker38:33

       Sing the melody

    4. JRJoe Rogan38:34

       ... like, they, they-

    5. SPSpeaker38:34

       Oh, you can't sing? No.

    6. JRJoe Rogan38:35

       They take away your fucking advertising revenue if you hum a song.

    7. SPSpeaker38:40

       Ooh, okay.

    8. JRJoe Rogan38:40

       The, these dirty criminals.

    9. SPSpeaker38:42

       Wow.

    10. JRJoe Rogan38:43

        Hum.

    11. SPSpeaker38:44

        Hum.

    12. JRJoe Rogan38:44

        Hum a song. You dirty scumbags.

    13. SPSpeaker38:47

        Really?

    14. JRJoe Rogan38:47

        Trying to steal advertising money.

    15. SPSpeaker38:49

        What if we mess with them and hum a tune and sort of play name that tune with them, and if they can't-

    16. JRJoe Rogan38:53

        You know what they'll do? They'll fucking ding you.

    17. SPSpeaker38:55

        Even if they can't figure it out. Like, they've got to sit around the office and like-

    18. JRJoe Rogan38:59

        They'll pretend. They'll pretend, then you have to go to court

    19. SPSpeaker39:00

        ... "Name that tune in seven notes." And I'm like, " [humming] allen."

    20. JRJoe Rogan39:04

        Don't do it. Don't do it.

    21. SPSpeaker39:06

        Do you know what I just did?

    22. JRJoe Rogan39:07

        You fucked us up. That's what you just did.

    23. SPSpeaker39:08

        Do you know what song that was?

    24. JRJoe Rogan39:09

        I don't care.

    25. SPSpeaker39:09

        [laughs] I do.

    26. JRJoe Rogan39:10

        What is it?

    27. SPSpeaker39:12

        [laughs] It was, uh, that Pink Floyd, uh, song.

    28. JRJoe Rogan39:15

        No, no, no. Don't, don't say that because then they'll get us.

    29. SPSpeaker39:17

        Yeah, but they don't know which one.

    30. JRJoe Rogan39:19

        Doesn't matter.
11. 1:01:48 – 1:09:32

    OnlyFans morality, dignity vs. money, and Joe’s approach to parenting

    1. SPSpeaker1:01:48

       Speaking of sex, have you been on this OnlyFans thing?

    2. JRJoe Rogan1:01:52

       Have I not?

    3. SPSpeaker1:01:52

       Have you gone on?

    4. JRJoe Rogan1:01:53

       No, I don't go on it.

    5. SPSpeaker1:01:54

       It's all I'm hearing about. You hear ... Right? All you hear about now-

    6. JRJoe Rogan1:01:57

       Oh, yeah

    7. SPSpeaker1:01:57

       ... is onlyfans.com.

    8. JRJoe Rogan1:01:59

       Yep. They do comedy shows.

    9. SPSpeaker1:02:01

       I finally go on this thing 'cause it's all I'm hearing about, onlyfans.com. I go on about a week ago, and I'm on there for about two hours, and it's just video after video after picture. And I'm on there s- so long my eyes are, like-

    10. JRJoe Rogan1:02:16

        Right

    11. SPSpeaker1:02:16

        ... spinning. And finally, I stop the damn thing and I'm like, "Screw this. I already have central air conditioning. Why the hell am I looking at this site? I don't need a fan." I mean, good Lord.

    12. JRJoe Rogan1:02:32

        [clears throat] [laughs]

    13. SPSpeaker1:02:41

        I'll pull my legs out. I will pull my-

    14. JRJoe Rogan1:02:43

        What the fuck [laughs]

    15. SPSpeaker1:02:43

        ... dirty, bronze legs out and wrap them-

    16. JRJoe Rogan1:02:46

        What the fuck is wrong with you? [laughs]

    17. SPSpeaker1:02:46

        ... around your neck like a dirty anaconda.

    18. JRJoe Rogan1:02:48

        The fuck is wrong with you? Do you think if you're a woman you'd be doing OnlyFans?

    19. SPSpeaker1:02:54

        You know, it's an interesting question. It's a moral, moral dilemma, isn't it?

    20. JRJoe Rogan1:02:58

        Let's imagine if Harland was a female and Harland was 21 and just got here from Canada.

    21. SPSpeaker1:03:04

        With these legs?

    22. JRJoe Rogan1:03:05

        With those legs. And not a lot of ways-

    23. SPSpeaker1:03:06

        Oh, I'd be on

    24. JRJoe Rogan1:03:07

        ... not a lot of ways to make a living, but you're cute.

    25. SPSpeaker1:03:09

        Desperate times call for desperate matters, Joe Rogan.

    26. JRJoe Rogan1:03:14

        Hmm.

    27. SPSpeaker1:03:14

        You know, it's, it's a dile- it's a serious question, and it's almost a sad one in today's world.

    28. JRJoe Rogan1:03:19

        It is.

    29. SPSpeaker1:03:20

        Because in the old days, you had your sex industry sort of confined to the shadows.

    30. JRJoe Rogan1:03:26

        Mm-hmm.
12. 1:09:32 – 1:19:20

    Harland’s pro-AI manifesto: democratized creativity, cheaper production, and UBI futures

    1. SPSpeaker1:09:32

       I love AI.

    2. JRJoe Rogan1:09:33

       Do you? You're all in?

    3. SPSpeaker1:09:34

       Yeah. I'm all in. I love it.

    4. JRJoe Rogan1:09:35

       What's your favorite part about it?

    5. SPSpeaker1:09:37

       I love it, Joe, because it's, it's opening a door to creativity for everybody. Now a lot of people are being pessimistic and saying it's taking away our creativity, but think about any art gallery you've ever been to. You go in, you see the Renoir, the Degas, the Dali, all the, all the usual suspects. Van Gogh, Goya, all of them, right?

    6. JRJoe Rogan1:10:03

       Right. Right.

    7. SPSpeaker1:10:03

       Those have all been placed there over the centuries as the art that we all know and have adopted, and that came from a select group of individuals, very talented, um, contributed to our culture and art history, but it's a pool of about maybe 200 artists through the course of history.

    8. JRJoe Rogan1:10:26

       Right.

    9. SPSpeaker1:10:26

       Now think about a guy you bumped into working in the sprinkler aisle at Home Depot three weeks ago who's got a wife and kids and maybe doesn't have the opportunity or the wherewithal to tap into his artistry. But now that guy and the guy at Dunkin' Donuts and the girl that works at the car wash and every human being now has a way to express their hidden talents. And so with AI, they can go home at the end of the night and press a few buttons and go, "I imagined this thing and AI is letting me get it out, and the world gets to see it." Same with medicine, same with inventions. How many Elon Musks are there that grew up in poverty and never got the chance to expand on a concept or an idea because they didn't have the means?

    10. JRJoe Rogan1:11:16

        Mm.

    11. SPSpeaker1:11:16

        But if AI starts to open these doors for every human being, think of the barrage of incredible visual and conceptual designs that are gonna come at us, and a lot of them will probably be practical and actually work. And the common man and woman didn't have access to that before.

    12. JRJoe Rogan1:11:35

        That's one way of looking at it.

    13. SPSpeaker1:11:36

        I love it.

    14. JRJoe Rogan1:11:37

        That's super positive.

    15. SPSpeaker1:11:38

        I love it.

    16. JRJoe Rogan1:11:38

        Yeah. That's true.

    17. SPSpeaker1:11:39

        Example in my own life, I come from the animation world, and I like to write. And a few years back I pitched an animation idea around Hollywood and it got rejected. And so now me and a few of my friends in the dawn of AI are creating the same thing that got rejected and we're gonna put it out into the world. We couldn't have done it two, three years ago. It would've cost us $3 million. Now we're doing it for a few thousand.

    18. JRJoe Rogan1:12:07

        That, that is incredible.

    19. SPSpeaker1:12:08

        And it looks like a Pixar movie.

    20. JRJoe Rogan1:12:10

        That is incredible.

    21. SPSpeaker1:12:10

        It looks like Pixar. So if you tell me that AI isn't opening a whole new world, it, it, it, it's not true. It is. It's letting all of us dig really deep and expose our gifts and our talents. And yeah, there's always the downside, but let's try and look at the good side of it too.

    22. JRJoe Rogan1:12:29

        I like what you're saying.

    23. SPSpeaker1:12:30

        Thank you, Joe.

    24. JRJoe Rogan1:12:31

        Yeah. Um, the, the downside is the people that don't want to be creative and they wanna be accountants or they wanna be lawyers or they wanna ... Like, those jobs are gonna go away.

    25. SPSpeaker1:12:40

        Stop.

    26. JRJoe Rogan1:12:41

        Stop?

    27. SPSpeaker1:12:41

        How about that accountant's an accountant because he could never tap into the artistry that hides within him-

    28. JRJoe Rogan1:12:47

        Perhaps

    29. SPSpeaker1:12:47

        ... or the lawyer.

    30. JRJoe Rogan1:12:48

        Perhaps.
13. 1:19:20 – 1:38:39

    Simulation vs. ‘program’ reality: DMT laser code, cosmic mechanics, and Mars anomalies

    1. JRJoe Rogan1:19:20

       Well, then there's the question is, has that already happened? Are we in a simulation right now?

    2. SPSpeaker1:19:23

       Oh, yeah. I think we talked about this last time.

    3. JRJoe Rogan1:19:26

       A lot of people think we are.

    4. SPSpeaker1:19:27

       I don't believe so.

    5. JRJoe Rogan1:19:28

       A lot of people smarter than me.

    6. SPSpeaker1:19:29

       But can I take you back a second?

    7. JRJoe Rogan1:19:32

       Take me back to the old days.

    8. SPSpeaker1:19:34

       Exactly. Picture Pioneer Village, Betty O'Connor churning some butter down by the blacksmith's shop.

    9. JRJoe Rogan1:19:42

       [whistles]

    10. SPSpeaker1:19:42

        Kyle McGivens shaving timbers to build a log cabin.

    11. JRJoe Rogan1:19:47

        Ah, Amish.

    12. SPSpeaker1:19:48

        Do you think that those people who were in covered wagons and were us, just the old version of us, do you think they ever pulled the covered wagon to the side of the trail and went, "Hey, Jedediah, do you think we're in a simulation?" Like, I think we've created this simulation talk because we do have all this computer and, you know, we're in this world now that, that's full of contraptions.

    13. JRJoe Rogan1:20:16

        Okay, let me ask you-

    14. SPSpeaker1:20:17

        But I don't think we're, we're, we're in a simulation. But I- Go ahead.

    15. JRJoe Rogan1:20:20

        Are you sure the pioneer days even really happened?

    16. SPSpeaker1:20:24

        Even happened? Wow, you got me, you son of a whore.

    17. JRJoe Rogan1:20:26

        You don't know.

    18. SPSpeaker1:20:27

        And I'm walking off the show.

    19. JRJoe Rogan1:20:28

        Wow.

    20. SPSpeaker1:20:28

        I'm walking off the show.

    21. JRJoe Rogan1:20:29

        [laughs]

    22. SPSpeaker1:20:29

        Fuck you. And this isn't a simulation.

    23. JRJoe Rogan1:20:31

        Take those big rubber legs and get the fuck out of here. [laughs]

    24. SPSpeaker1:20:38

        [laughs] The only guy to walk off your show with fake legs.

    25. JRJoe Rogan1:20:42

        [laughs] I mean, if you think about it-

    26. SPSpeaker1:20:45

        [laughs]

    27. JRJoe Rogan1:20:45

        ... we think that the pioneer days happened. We can go to the museum and we can see-

    28. SPSpeaker1:20:50

        [laughs]

    29. JRJoe Rogan1:20:50

        ... pioneer day wheels and-

    30. SPSpeaker1:20:51

        What about the butter churning, Joe?
14. 1:38:39 – 2:00:03

    Genetic engineering ethics: Soviet human-ape experiments, CRISPR timelines, and ‘dire wolves’

    1. JRJoe Rogan1:38:39

       Well, what if they created us?

    2. SPSpeaker1:38:42

       They created us as primates and watched us evolve as an experiment?

    3. JRJoe Rogan1:38:47

       Yeah. What if you ... Like, let's imagine this. We talked about, like-

    4. SPSpeaker1:38:50

       Okay

    5. JRJoe Rogan1:38:50

       ... if we, if we showed up and we went, found a planet, and it was filled with, like, ancient primates.

    6. SPSpeaker1:38:55

       Yeah.

    7. JRJoe Rogan1:38:55

       These ancient hairy men that had just figured out stone tools.

    8. SPSpeaker1:38:58

       Okay.

    9. JRJoe Rogan1:38:59

       Let's go to-

    10. SPSpeaker1:38:59

        I'm with you

    11. JRJoe Rogan1:38:59

        ... the early days.

    12. SPSpeaker1:39:00

        I'm with you. I'm right there, guy.

    13. JRJoe Rogan1:39:03

        Do you think ... Let's n- not say American scientists. We would never do this. But do you think perhaps, like, Chinese or Russian scientists might do some things with them and try to make them more advanced?

    14. SPSpeaker1:39:15

        In terms of biological experimentation?

    15. JRJoe Rogan1:39:18

        Engineering, genetic engineering.

    16. SPSpeaker1:39:21

        I don't know. I ... Be- I mean-

    17. JRJoe Rogan1:39:23

        I will answer for you. Yes.

    18. SPSpeaker1:39:25

        You think they would?

    19. JRJoe Rogan1:39:25

        100%, for sure. They're just cave people. They don't even have any civilization. We, let's, let's just do whatever we want to them because we're far more advanced. Do you know that there was a point in time where the Russians were experimenting with people and trying to make a human-chimpanzee hybrid for war?

    20. SPSpeaker1:39:40

        Is that right?

    21. JRJoe Rogan1:39:41

        Yeah.

    22. SPSpeaker1:39:42

        Wow.

    23. JRJoe Rogan1:39:42

        This is after World War II. They were trying to make hybrids. So, so many Russians died during World War II. I mean, W- Russia lost a lot of fucking people-

    24. SPSpeaker1:39:51

        Yeah, they did

    25. JRJoe Rogan1:39:52

        ... during World War II. And there was a program that, that ... Like, they do a lot of things where they, they just run it up the chain. Like, "What do you think?"

    26. SPSpeaker1:39:59

        Yeah.

    27. JRJoe Rogan1:40:00

        "What if we do this? What if we do that? You know, what if we make a nuclear bomb? What if we make a, a plane that doesn't have any radar signal? What if we make, instead of our soldiers dying, what if we make a hybrid just for war? We know chimpanzees are incredibly strong, and they're smart, and they're very violent. So what if we made an incredibly strong, very violent species that's more intelligent than chimpanzees, and we can control them, and we'll use them as our soldiers?"

    28. SPSpeaker1:40:27

        But that seems like a lot of work for something that's hiding behind a, a, a modern weapon. Because whether you have a, a, an insane chimpanzee behind a machine gun or a guy that was an accountant and got drafted, it seems like the weapon's doing the work-

    29. JRJoe Rogan1:40:45

        Yeah

    30. SPSpeaker1:40:45

        ... not the biological entity.
15. 2:00:03 – 2:20:44

    Wolves, rewilding, and ‘Team People’ vs. ‘Team Animal’ philosophical clash

    1. SPSpeaker2:00:03

       They're, they're protective. They're n- they're no longer hunting. But I'm just saying that there's an element to, sadly, our human existence that scares a lot of critters. A lo- most animals can exist together in the same area. And yeah, when a, when an apex predator approaches, the zebras will run. But if you look at the hoofed animals and the hippos and the ... Everything kind of coexists, but when a human walks in, you know, we can't walk up to critters and just pet them. You can in the Galapagos.

    2. JRJoe Rogan2:00:39

       Okay.

    3. SPSpeaker2:00:41

       Are we-

    4. JRJoe Rogan2:00:42

       No

    5. SPSpeaker2:00:42

       ... are we having a fight?

    6. JRJoe Rogan2:00:43

       No, but a lion-

    7. SPSpeaker2:00:44

       Are we having a fight?

    8. JRJoe Rogan2:00:44

       ... can't walk up to a gazelle-

    9. SPSpeaker2:00:45

       I'll take my shirt off

    10. JRJoe Rogan2:00:46

        ... and pet him either

    11. SPSpeaker2:00:47

        ... I'll wrap my legs around you so fast.

    12. JRJoe Rogan2:00:49

        It's not uniquely humans, man. It's all animals are worried about something that wants to eat them-

    13. SPSpeaker2:00:55

        Right

    14. JRJoe Rogan2:00:55

        ... because that's a real part of their existence.

    15. SPSpeaker2:00:57

        Right.

    16. JRJoe Rogan2:00:57

        It's all animals. If you let your dog loose and you let it around wild animals, they fucking run like crazy, man. They run way more than they do with a person.

    17. SPSpeaker2:01:06

        Let me rephrase it. If a wild animal comes up on a deer, a predator-prey scenario-

    18. JRJoe Rogan2:01:14

        Uh-huh

    19. SPSpeaker2:01:14

        ... instinctually they know a predator goes into stalking mode, the deer's gone.

    20. JRJoe Rogan2:01:20

        Right.

    21. SPSpeaker2:01:20

        But if a human, me or you, go, "Oh, look at the deer," and we try to walk towards it with nothing but love and affection, and we just wanna pet it, and it's gone. And that's what I'm saying.

    22. JRJoe Rogan2:01:35

        You're not saying shit, because a dog-

    23. SPSpeaker2:01:37

        [laughs]

    24. JRJoe Rogan2:01:37

        ... the same thing would happen. You're not making any sense.

    25. SPSpeaker2:01:39

        Yes.

    26. JRJoe Rogan2:01:40

        Of course the p- deer doesn't want you to pet him. It doesn't fucking know you, man. What are you, nuts?

    27. SPSpeaker2:01:44

        Right, but it j- they just, they just flee.

    28. JRJoe Rogan2:01:48

        They don't flee like they do with dogs.

    29. SPSpeaker2:01:49

        Everything flees us, a squirrel-

    30. JRJoe Rogan2:01:50

        I have sq- I have deer in my neighborhood, and when they see me, they don't give a fuck. They don't care about your car. You're, you're driving in a car. You could stop the car and roll the window down and go, "Hello, Mr. Deer" -
16. 2:20:44 – 2:31:25

    Kill Tony boost, making comedy movies again, sitcom nostalgia, roasts vs. ‘woke,’ and wrap-up plugs

    1. JRJoe Rogan2:20:44

       You too, buddy. It's nice to see Kil Tourney, like-... make a completely different career arc for all these people

    2. SPSpeaker2:20:50

       How?

    3. JRJoe Rogan2:20:51

       And you're one of them.

    4. SPSpeaker2:20:52

       [laughs] Yeah.

    5. JRJoe Rogan2:20:52

       You know?

    6. SPSpeaker2:20:52

       It's, it's, it's, it's-

    7. JRJoe Rogan2:20:53

       It's fucking taking you to the stratosphere

    8. SPSpeaker2:20:55

       [laughs]

    9. JRJoe Rogan2:20:55

       It's wild to watch

    10. SPSpeaker2:20:56

        It's sort of ... It's, it's, it's shone a new light on my career. Yeah. It's sort of-

    11. JRJoe Rogan2:21:01

        Completely

    12. SPSpeaker2:21:01

        ... revitalized it a bit. Yeah

    13. JRJoe Rogan2:21:02

        You, uh, Rob Schneider-

    14. SPSpeaker2:21:04

        Yeah

    15. JRJoe Rogan2:21:05

        ... Carrot Top. I mean, there's d- the list goes on and on.

    16. SPSpeaker2:21:08

        Yeah.

    17. JRJoe Rogan2:21:08

        There's Kyle Dunnigan. There's so many-

    18. SPSpeaker2:21:10

        Yeah

    19. JRJoe Rogan2:21:10

        ... people that-

    20. SPSpeaker2:21:11

        Yeah

    21. JRJoe Rogan2:21:11

        ... it just fucking launched them.

    22. SPSpeaker2:21:13

        It's so cool. When Tony asked me to do it, uh, two years ago, I'll be honest, I didn't even know what it was.

    23. JRJoe Rogan2:21:21

        That's hilarious.

    24. SPSpeaker2:21:21

        I didn't know who Tony was. I'd never met him. I knew nothing about it. I was doing your club, and they said, "Hey, we're shooting tomorrow. Would you wanna stay an extra day?" And I said, "For what?" They go, "To kill Tony." I said, "What is it?" And I went on-

    25. JRJoe Rogan2:21:36

        Really?

    26. SPSpeaker2:21:36

        I had no clue. I had no idea what it was.

    27. JRJoe Rogan2:21:38

        Are you not online at all?

    28. SPSpeaker2:21:40

        No. I didn't, I didn't know anything about that stuff.

    29. JRJoe Rogan2:21:43

        How do you stay offline?

    30. SPSpeaker2:21:45

        Well, I go online now, 'cause I started a podcast. I'm trying to emulate you, but you've been an inspiration. Thank you, by the way. But I didn't know about all that stuff. And so they asked me to go on, and I did my first set with Tony, and I think you watched it. It was the one where I had the checkbook.

Episode duration: 3:13:33