Joe Rogan Experience #2523 - Ali Siddiq

1. 0:00 – 0:02

   Intro

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      [upbeat music]

2. 0:02 – 1:40

   Aging superstars: LeBron, Kareem, Brady, and Bernard Hopkins’ discipline

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:02

      Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out

   2. SPSpeaker0:04

      The Joe Rogan Experience

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:06

      [upbeat music] Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night. All day. [upbeat music] Hey. Adam Carolla, what's happening?

   4. ASAli Siddiq0:14

      What's happening?

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:14

      Good to see you.

   6. ASAli Siddiq0:16

      Same.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:16

      We were just talking, so I had us pause Jamey before the podcast. So you were telling me that LeBron James is not gonna go back to the Lakers.

   8. SPSpeaker0:25

      Yes, he-

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:25

      How old, how old is he now?

   10. SPSpeaker0:27

       41.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:30

       41.

   12. SPSpeaker0:30

       Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:31

       What is the, the, the oldest that a elite athlete has been?

   14. SPSpeaker0:35

       Tom Brady is 44, I think, NFL QB. That'd be pretty high up there.

   15. ASAli Siddiq0:40

       How old was Kare- how old was, was Kareem?

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:43

       That's a good question. How old was Kareem-

   17. SPSpeaker0:45

       And then-

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:45

       ... when he retired?

   19. SPSpeaker0:45

       ... Bernard Hopkins I think would be the next.

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:47

       Ber- Bernard Hopkins is number one.

   21. ASAli Siddiq0:49

       Yeah, Bernard Hopkins definitely.

   22. JRJoe Rogan0:50

       We were talking about how he beat Kelly Pavlik at, uh, 42.

   23. ASAli Siddiq0:54

       But Bernard had a couple years to, to incubate a little bit.

   24. JRJoe Rogan0:59

       Oh, yeah. [laughs]

   25. ASAli Siddiq1:00

       [laughs]

   26. SPSpeaker1:00

       [laughs]

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:00

       What do you know about that? Yeah. Not take damage and-

   28. ASAli Siddiq1:05

       Yeah

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:05

       ... steel up the mind. He, uh, he had the most intense discipline. That guy never got out of shape, which is also a giant contributor to longevity. Never, never was building back, you know?

   30. ASAli Siddiq1:17

       Yeah.
3. 1:40 – 3:20

   NBA drug testing and why weed is off the panel

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:40

      The science. So we were just talking about the science. So Jamey, what are they allowed to take and not allowed to take?

   2. SPSpeaker1:45

      Uh, I don't know. Uh, it's like, the, the NBA used to... Like, I think for, like, weed stuff, they used to say that it was like, uh, they'd get tested I think like October 1st, which is like right when pre-season starts.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:55

      For weed?

   4. SPSpeaker1:56

      Yeah. And so, like, if, as long as you were clean on October 1st-

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:59

      [laughs]

   6. SPSpeaker1:59

      ... then you're good-

   7. JRJoe Rogan2:00

      [laughs]

   8. SPSpeaker2:00

      ... 'cause they wouldn't test you the rest of the year.

   9. JRJoe Rogan2:02

      That's ridiculous.

   10. SPSpeaker2:03

       Uh, but now I, like, I know in the NFL, if you have a crazy game, you're gonna get tested the next day. They're just gonna check you for-

   11. JRJoe Rogan2:11

       Mm-hmm

   12. SPSpeaker2:11

       ... what was going on with you yesterday.

   13. JRJoe Rogan2:12

       Yeah, why would you play good? They're ridiculous.

   14. SPSpeaker2:14

       I don't think the NBA does that specifically, but I don't know honestly.

   15. JRJoe Rogan2:19

       So what are the rules in the NBA in terms of, uh, marijuana now? I thought that was part of the thing that they negotiated in the contract-

   16. SPSpeaker2:25

       I th-

   17. JRJoe Rogan2:25

       ... to make sure, 'cause a lot of players like to be high when they play.

   18. SPSpeaker2:29

       I think they might, they might just have just stopped testing for it is all.

   19. JRJoe Rogan2:33

       I won't le- mention names.

   20. SPSpeaker2:34

       Yeah, I'm looking.

   21. JRJoe Rogan2:35

       But I'm, I'm friends with some guys and they tell me they can't play unless they're high. [laughs] They just w- That's the same thing with pool players. I know a lot of pool players.

   22. ASAli Siddiq2:43

       Oh.

   23. JRJoe Rogan2:43

       They like to get lit before they get on the table.

   24. SPSpeaker2:46

       Yeah.

   25. ASAli Siddiq2:46

       Yeah. Pool, pool, shit, you should be lit playing pool.

   26. JRJoe Rogan2:49

       Yeah, you feel things better. Here we go. NBA can randomly drug test each player up to four times during the season and two times in the off-season, with additional tests allowed any time there is reasonable cause. But marijuana is no longer part of the standard testing panel. Yes, sir. Yeah, so they can smoke weed, which makes sense. Let 'em. It's not, what are you doing? It's not hurting anybody, and they play better with it. I think leave them alone. That's what I think, unless they're doing, unless they're doing meth. Unless they're doing-

   27. ASAli Siddiq3:19

       [laughs]

   28. JRJoe Rogan3:19

       You know what I mean? [laughs]

4. 3:20 – 5:14

   Sports betting scandals: player props, spreads, and real-world danger

   1. SPSpeaker3:20

      They also had another big, uh, betting scandal that has kind of broken recently-

   2. JRJoe Rogan3:25

      Oh, no

   3. SPSpeaker3:25

      ... in the last 24 hours there-

   4. JRJoe Rogan3:27

      Oh, no

   5. SPSpeaker3:27

      ... where a player's been called out for throwing at least four games.

   6. JRJoe Rogan3:31

      [sighs] Oh.

   7. SPSpeaker3:33

      And then where that's gonna go from here is kind of being speculated online, 'cause obviously it goes-

   8. JRJoe Rogan3:37

      I'll tell you where that goes. If people find out, that goes to bullets. That's the problem. The problem with someone throwing a game is somebody bet on that fucking game. A lot of people bet on that game.

   9. SPSpeaker3:47

      Actually, the two cases I've seen though are, like, the overs. So like, they had player props, and, like, he needed 4.5 rebounds, and he has four, and he's just trying extremely, extremely, extremely hard to get that extra rebound, which is like, well, it's wrong-

   10. JRJoe Rogan4:00

       Wait a minute

   11. SPSpeaker4:00

       ... but it's not that bad.

   12. JRJoe Rogan4:01

       That means he's playing well. [laughs]

   13. SPSpeaker4:02

       And the other one, which was, uh, he was fixing a spread at, like, in the last second. Like, he sprinted down the court to get an extra basket with, like, three seconds on the clock when they were down by 10, or seven technically, to beat the 8 1/2 point spread.

   14. JRJoe Rogan4:15

       Yeah, but so what? He's just scoring.

   15. SPSpeaker4:17

       You, that's, uh-

   16. JRJoe Rogan4:18

       How can you ever-

   17. SPSpeaker4:19

       It's just a, it's an... When you watch basketball enough, you go like, "That doesn't happen that often. Why would he do that?"

   18. JRJoe Rogan4:24

       [sighs] That's gross.

   19. SPSpeaker4:24

       And then you, like, look into it and-

   20. ASAli Siddiq4:25

       Yeah, especially-

   21. SPSpeaker4:26

       ... it turns out

   22. ASAli Siddiq4:26

       ... yeah, you're used to people throwing the ball in the air-

   23. SPSpeaker4:28

       Yeah. Yeah, yeah

   24. ASAli Siddiq4:29

       ... just throwing it down there, not you running down the, to-

   25. JRJoe Rogan4:32

       I know, but if you can do it and score-

   26. SPSpeaker4:34

       They have what?

   27. JRJoe Rogan4:35

       ... why wouldn't you do it? I don't even understand why anybody would question that.

   28. ASAli Siddiq4:37

       But you, you down by 10.

   29. SPSpeaker4:39

       It's game over.

   30. ASAli Siddiq4:39

       It's five seconds to go. The game is over.
5. 5:14 – 7:31

   Collusion in tournament sports and why betting corrodes trust

   1. SPSpeaker5:14

      How about... All right, so similar thing. World Cup just happened, like, two, three nights ago-

   2. JRJoe Rogan5:17

      Okay

   3. SPSpeaker5:17

      ... where, uh, they just got into the knockout round, you know? So the, the big tournament was every team plays three games to figure out where you figure, or where you end up to play the next part of the tournament. 10 teams get eliminated.

   4. JRJoe Rogan5:28

      Uh-huh.

   5. SPSpeaker5:29

      Uh, third place team for the first time ever can make it through, and so there was a, I think it was Algeria, and I forget the other team. Sorry. But if they both tied, they both move through. If one team wins and one team loses, one team goes through. And then they're, like, with four minutes to go in the game, they're kind of just passing the ball around. The score is tied, and one team s- goes ahead and scores, and it kind of starts a fight on the field where you see-

   6. JRJoe Rogan5:53

      Oh, damn

   7. SPSpeaker5:53

      ... the other team yelling at the other team like, "Fuck you." Like, I don't know exactly what they're saying, but, like, what, like-

   8. ASAli Siddiq5:59

      [laughs]

   9. SPSpeaker5:59

      And then with, like, two minutes to go, the other team sort of just stops playing defense and kind of seems to, like, let them score.

   10. JRJoe Rogan6:06

       Oh, God.

   11. SPSpeaker6:08

       [laughs] It's like, I don't... Is that-

   12. JRJoe Rogan6:09

       Oh

   13. SPSpeaker6:10

       ... big collusion-

   14. JRJoe Rogan6:11

       No

   15. SPSpeaker6:11

       ... or if they just were, like, made an agreement or-

   16. JRJoe Rogan6:13

       100%. How do, what, don't they have mics on those guys?

   17. ASAli Siddiq6:16

       Nah, man, it's such a crazy-

   18. JRJoe Rogan6:18

       They have to have mics on somebody. They have strong mics now, and they have people that can lip read. [laughs] They can pick up, "Hey, motherfucker, you're supposed to leave this a tie."

   19. ASAli Siddiq6:27

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan6:27

       If that happens, like, you can't play anymore, right? Like, what happens to those guys?

   21. ASAli Siddiq6:31

       Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan6:31

       They have to get suspended for-

   23. ASAli Siddiq6:32

       That'd be the entire, that'd be both teams, the coaches, it'd be everybody.

   24. JRJoe Rogan6:35

       Oh my God. What a-

   25. ASAli Siddiq6:35

       I don't know. I don't really know how that's gonna pan out, but it was very-

   26. JRJoe Rogan6:39

       What a conundrum.

   27. ASAli Siddiq6:41

       Yeah. [laughs]

   28. JRJoe Rogan6:42

       How could you do that? Like, I'd hate that.

   29. ASAli Siddiq6:45

       [laughs]

   30. JRJoe Rogan6:46

       This is what, this is what I don't like about sports betting. Not that, 'cause that's about advancing. But about sports betting, is the even the consideration that a person is playing a certain way because they're worried about a spread or because they're been paid off to not score, or they've been paid off to foul. You know, like, there's... The problem with these things is you could bet on anything.
6. 7:31 – 9:16

   Hierarchy and influence: from sports gambling to politics and awards

   1. JRJoe Rogan7:31

      It's the same. It's money. It's anywhere, anytime there's money involved and decisions can be shifted, influence can be used to make something happen.

   2. ASAli Siddiq7:39

      But it seems like that with, with most things that people, you know, have some type of, you know, hierarchy desire for, they, they-

   3. JRJoe Rogan7:50

      100%.

   4. ASAli Siddiq7:50

      They gonna put something in. You know, like, even with, like, awards in ga- this is a who can promote the best-

   5. JRJoe Rogan8:00

      Mm-hmm

   6. ASAli Siddiq8:00

      ... and who can... If you can take all the people that vote to dinner and, you know, schmooze them at dinner, it, it's gonna be a, um, a thing where who's gonna beat you when you got all the voters?

   7. JRJoe Rogan8:17

      Right.

   8. ASAli Siddiq8:18

      Or you have a situation where you have people that work for your company that can vote. You know what I'm saying? Who, how, how you not gonna vote for the project that the company put out?

   9. JRJoe Rogan8:29

      Right.

   10. ASAli Siddiq8:29

       [laughs]

   11. JRJoe Rogan8:30

       Yeah.

   12. ASAli Siddiq8:30

       You know, we got 60 voters, you know, so we least got 60 votes.

   13. JRJoe Rogan8:35

       I think you said it best when you said the hierarchy. That's really what it is. It's in anything that has any kind of a hierarchy. Politics is the ultimate example.

   14. ASAli Siddiq8:42

       Politics is the ultimate-

   15. JRJoe Rogan8:44

       Yeah

   16. ASAli Siddiq8:44

       ... ultimate example.

   17. JRJoe Rogan8:45

       But there's, there's that hierarchy shit in everything in the world, everything, and it trips people up. [laughs]

   18. ASAli Siddiq8:51

       But with politics, it is a little more detrimental than with sports. You know-

   19. JRJoe Rogan8:57

       Oh, yeah

   20. ASAli Siddiq8:57

       ... sports, sports is, you know, you gambling, people trying to win things. But with politics, it's like i- if you're not... Somebody that's not qualified can be in a position where, you know, they, they making decisions on, on the masses of people's lives, which is-

7. 9:16 – 11:03

   Courts, ideology, and trans women in sports debate

   1. JRJoe Rogan9:16

      Not just that, they can appoint judges.

   2. ASAli Siddiq9:19

      Which is-

   3. JRJoe Rogan9:19

      And they can appoint crazy judges. Like, there's obviously judges, like, they have disputes. Well, why do they have disputes? Because they're ideologically captured on both sides. There's people that are like, you know, like, certain right-wing judges. You throw some case out there that's a right-wing case, uh, what, abortion rights, whatever it is, immigration, you know how they're gonna vote.

   4. ASAli Siddiq9:39

      Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan9:40

      Same thing with left-wing people. Like, hardcore left-wing people, you guarantee trans women in sports, trans women are women. Let them play in sports. That, that was a recent Supreme Court order. Three judges said that trans women should be able to play in women's sport. The rest of them said, "Fuck no."

   6. ASAli Siddiq9:55

      And it-

   7. JRJoe Rogan9:55

      The other six canceled it out, luckily

   8. ASAli Siddiq9:58

      ... and, you know, those people are not taking to account the sport. Like, it's a, it's a difference if you, uh, was originally something and now you playing as something else, your strength is different.

   9. JRJoe Rogan10:11

      Everything's different.

   10. ASAli Siddiq10:11

       And, and, you know, you don't feel that until your daughter get knocked out the ring-

   11. JRJoe Rogan10:15

       Yeah

   12. ASAli Siddiq10:15

       ... where she's supposed to be [laughs] boxing somebody that, that the same gender, then now she's, her whole side of her face broke from-

   13. JRJoe Rogan10:23

       It's

   14. ASAli Siddiq10:23

       ... you know.

   15. JRJoe Rogan10:23

       It's insane. It's insane. It's, and it's not cruel to not let that happen in sports. That's what Title IX is about in the first place, give women the opportunity to play in, in, in equal time as men. That's, that's a good thing. Having men that think they're women play with women is fucking crazy.

   16. ASAli Siddiq10:40

       That's crazy.

   17. JRJoe Rogan10:40

       Like, what do we... It doesn't mean y- you know, you need to cast those people out of society. It doesn't mean ain't that... You live and let live, I agree. But get the fuck out of the women's room.

   18. ASAli Siddiq10:50

       Yeah, you not, you not a-

   19. JRJoe Rogan10:51

       You have a dick.

   20. ASAli Siddiq10:51

       If you, uh-

   21. JRJoe Rogan10:52

       Get the fuck off the team. You're, you're running track at a literal, a women's Olympic level, and you're 15.

   22. ASAli Siddiq10:59

       Yeah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan10:59

       Why? Because you have a dick. This is crazy. You're not really a girl. This is nuts.

8. 11:03 – 12:19

   Ali’s approach to comedy: avoid divisive politics, build unity—and build it organically

   1. ASAli Siddiq11:03

      You know, that's the, that's the world we live in, and... Oh, well, that's the... Nah, I'm, I'm not even gonna say that's the world we live in. That's the world that's being presented to us at this point, that-

   2. JRJoe Rogan11:12

      That's right

   3. ASAli Siddiq11:13

      ... you know. And it's, you know, it's a lot of things that's like this, man. You... This is why in comedy I choose not to go the current of, the current affair or the political route.

   4. JRJoe Rogan11:27

      Mm.

   5. ASAli Siddiq11:27

      'Cause I don't have time to separate the room. I'm too busy trying to do things to bring the room together, and that's more of a righteous aim for me.

   6. JRJoe Rogan11:38

      Well, you, you... Uh, I said this before, also I'll say it, uh, live publicly. What you've done is very extraordinary, because you've made a, a giant following online completely organically. It's very inspiring, because all you do is just do your thing the best that you can and put it out there, and it just keeps growing. It's amazing.

   7. ASAli Siddiq11:56

      I appreciate it.

   8. JRJoe Rogan11:56

      It's very, it's very cool. It's very inspirational, and, uh, it's... You should be proud of it, because what you've done, like I said, it's totally organic. Like, you don't have a bunch of production companies pushing you and trying to make you more popular than you are. No, it's all just putting it out there and getting this gigantic following just from your work.

   9. ASAli Siddiq12:18

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan12:18

       Just the work.

9. 12:19 – 25:06

   Social media numbers, inflated claims, and staying honest about accomplishments

   1. ASAli Siddiq12:19

      Appreciate it. And then, you know, even with that, you still have- Um, some type of responsibility to not see things the same as other people. Like with, I just got all this flack about me talking about the, how this business of people inflating things has caused depression in comics. You know, that we supposed to be a, a happy craft, but now it's this big push about if you're not on social media, you're not on this, you're not on that. A lot of these comics are, you know, going through this mental health thing where they always sad about their numbers, uh, you know, or this, that-

   2. JRJoe Rogan13:00

      Yeah

   3. ASAli Siddiq13:00

      ... and the third. Like yo, man, it, it is a, it's a thing, and some people inflate things, and everybody wants to be on the same level. So sometimes you, you can't be... or well, you can, but people look at it as, as a certain way where when you proud of the steps that you've taken, and if I played in the G League, that's not the NBA.

   4. JRJoe Rogan13:26

      Mm-hmm.

   5. ASAli Siddiq13:26

      So I wouldn't say that I was play- I played in the league, 'cause I know what the league means. I know, you know, I know this says this the G League, but when I present myself, "Yo, you know I play in the league," people automatically think-

   6. JRJoe Rogan13:39

      [laughs]

   7. ASAli Siddiq13:39

      ... the NBA. You know? It's not-

   8. JRJoe Rogan13:41

      Right

   9. ASAli Siddiq13:41

      ... it's not... N- the G League is not, and not knocking the G League, but that's not the first-

   10. JRJoe Rogan13:45

       Right

   11. ASAli Siddiq13:45

       ... thing that comes to my mind.

   12. JRJoe Rogan13:47

       Right.

   13. ASAli Siddiq13:47

       You know, uh, you know, it, it's just a, playing for the Washington Generals is not the NBA. Even though you played against the Globetrotters, they were great players, [laughs] but-

   14. JRJoe Rogan13:59

       Right

   15. ASAli Siddiq13:59

       ... but we, we know how this game goes. But people, that's how people see things now.

   16. JRJoe Rogan14:04

       Well, the number things is real. The numbers thing is, is a real problem with people because it gives you like a quantifiable measure of whether or not you're doing well. And if you already have anxiety, which a lot of comedians have, you're already like socially awkward, which a lot of comedians are. You don't feel accepted, which-

   17. ASAli Siddiq14:22

       Right

   18. JRJoe Rogan14:22

       ... is how a lot of comedians feel, and then you look at those numbers. You're like, "2,400? I only have 2,400 followers? I've been doing comedy for seven years. Why do I only have 2,400 follow... " And then you go to someone's page that you never even heard of, and they have 1.2 million, and you're like, "What the fuck?"

   19. ASAli Siddiq14:37

       And, and so this is about, uh, being grateful in the position that you, you're in. I remember when they would, people was pushing me, "Oh, you need to get on the internet. You need to be on social media to be... " Okay, but I would see those people that had all those followers, and that same year, the year before that, I did a half-hour special with Comedy Central, then the year, um, 2018, I did a full hour special with Comedy Central. I had, um, 500 followers on Instagram.

   20. JRJoe Rogan15:11

       [laughs]

   21. ASAli Siddiq15:12

       I had 300 followers, 300 subscribers on YouTube on a page that I didn't own. I had to fight to get this page. I had less people on Facebook, but I was efficient in what I was doing. So the numbers didn't, they didn't pick me because I had these numbers. They, they picked me 'cause I came and I did what I did, and then they, "Oh, he's, he's great." So then we, we started going, you know, a route to w- to build it up, but we were already getting things prior to the numbers.

   22. JRJoe Rogan15:46

       Right. What, what year is this again?

   23. ASAli Siddiq15:48

       This is '17 and '18.

   24. JRJoe Rogan15:50

       Okay. So the difference is that in '17 and '18, people were just starting to be aware of the power of social media, and then they were really concentrating on different comics that had a large social media following. You know, I think that was like right when it first started happening.

   25. ASAli Siddiq16:09

       Dane Cook had blew up before that.

   26. JRJoe Rogan16:11

       That was a, yeah, that was a Myspace thing.

   27. ASAli Siddiq16:12

       That was a Myspace thing on the internet.

   28. JRJoe Rogan16:14

       Yeah.

   29. ASAli Siddiq16:14

       A, another internet thing.

   30. JRJoe Rogan16:15

       That's true. That's true. That was different, but the, the difference is, like he had gotten so huge just from that, that he was already doing like arenas.
10. 25:06 – 32:39

    Process over outcomes: building markets, papered rooms, and earning fans the old way

    1. JRJoe Rogan25:06

       Yeah. That's, that's how it used to be, man. That was the old days before social media. You would build a market, so you would just show up at Philadelphia once a year. Show up, do your homework, like make sure you got a tight set. You've been practicing, you're ready to rock. You fuck these people up and then leave. And then they're like, "Can't wait till you guys are back again." And then next time you come back, you, you know, "All right, I, I built an audience now. I got to fa- I can't disappoint these people. I gotta get fired up." And that's what it used to be.

    2. ASAli Siddiq25:34

       And-

    3. JRJoe Rogan25:34

       It used to be a totally organic thing across the whole country.

    4. ASAli Siddiq25:37

       Is it a, is it a thing, is it a difference in your opinion between me bringing my audience to a venue from whatever other thing that I do, versus people coming that don't know anything about me and me winning that person over, versus the person that already know me?

    5. JRJoe Rogan26:00

       Well, it's a different... Yeah, it's a different thing. You know, people are coming to see you specifically. You've already won them over. That's a different thing. Or they wanna take a chance on you. That's a different thing, 'cause they've heard about you. But when, you know, the, that's a completely different thing. 'Cause that's your, you have an audience now. You have fans. When you are just performing at a club and it's a papered room, you have an opportunity. You have an opportunity to turn these people into fans. You have an opportunity to give these people a great night and have a good time, and also you're doing your fucking thing, which is the most important thing of all. Everybody is results oriented. I try to be process oriented. When I, with, with everything I do, I'm process oriented. I think about, there's, there's a goal that you gotta reach, but how do you get to that goal? The way, the way you get there is not thinking about the goal. The way you get there is thinking about what you're doing.

    6. ASAli Siddiq26:50

       What the process is.

    7. JRJoe Rogan26:51

       What's the process? The process is writing bits, performing them, tweaking them, getting them tight, knowing, reviewing tapes, going over your material, going over your writing, talking with friends. And then every day it gets a little bigger. Every day it gets a little better. Every day that knife gets a little sharper. That's the process.

    8. ASAli Siddiq27:09

       Yeah.

    9. JRJoe Rogan27:09

       That, that's the process that leads you to become whoever-

    10. ASAli Siddiq27:13

        And then-

    11. JRJoe Rogan27:13

        ... whoever you are

    12. ASAli Siddiq27:14

        ... and then you add other little pieces in that process. I remember I, I, um, I was talking to Bobby Lee. And me and Bobby Lee talking, I said, "Bobby, you don't realize where you met me at." And he's like, "Well, is this a good, is this gonna be a good story or it's a bad story?" [laughs]

    13. JRJoe Rogan27:30

        [laughs] Bobby's got a lot of bad stories.

    14. ASAli Siddiq27:32

        I said, "You, you, you met me at, um, at the E- Houston Improv, and they called me and asked me did I wanna host a room that I already sell out," you know what I'm saying? They asked me did I wanna host. I said, "Cool." So I came and I hosted, and I was un- un- not trying to, but I was destroying his feature. I'm just hosting. And then-

    15. JRJoe Rogan27:57

        Well, you should not be hosting

    16. ASAli Siddiq27:58

        ... and-

    17. JRJoe Rogan27:59

        Especially at the Houston Improv

    18. ASAli Siddiq28:01

        ... yeah, but my thing was, this was years, this was years ago. But I say, "Bobby, you didn't understand. When the, when I was hosting at the Houston Improv, I was doing something that most people didn't understand what I, why I was even doing it." Well, like, why... And they would see, like, "Why would you be hosting?" I said, "Because I'm not gonna be in front of Bobby Lee's audience." But it's people that live in Houston-

    19. JRJoe Rogan28:23

        Right, right

    20. ASAli Siddiq28:23

        ... that his audience, that I have no i- they have no idea who I am.

    21. JRJoe Rogan28:27

        Right.

    22. ASAli Siddiq28:27

        I said, "Bobby, but before you," I say, "I was coming to the Houston Improv hosting for multiple people, and I was just winning over fans that would never had seen me if they wasn't coming to see you. They wouldn't be coming to my show." I said, "So before that it was, you were last, Bobby. It was you, and the week prior to that it was Miles Jabroni. And the week b- prior to that was, um, what's my girl? Um, um, Angela Johnson. Angela Johnson. And before that it was, um, some random white guy." I said-

    23. JRJoe Rogan29:06

        [laughs]

    24. ASAli Siddiq29:07

        ... "I just came and I wanna do... I'm a comic" So me hosting was no big deal. I wasn't working, so I said, "Well, let me just come host it. That's what they want me to do." So I gained fans from four different audiences in a month. So when I came back they was like, "Yo, I saw you with Miles Jabroni, and so I came back, I came back to see you when you, when you put your show up." I'm like, "Cool." It, so my process, that was a part of my process. I, it didn't matter who I hosted for, you know what I'm saying? I was like, "Okay, cool." You know? Let, let me, let me go... Like with when I hosted for, um, Bill Burr. Bill Burr was like, "This is crazy." We had, we in Austin at the Paramount. It's, and like, and I said b- I said the worst thing about this was that at the time I was wearing all black And I went to the show, and I, when I walked on stage, the first thing I said is, "Hey, I do not work here." [laughs]

    25. JRJoe Rogan30:07

        [laughs]

    26. ASAli Siddiq30:08

        Don't... And like eight people asked me, "Where's the bathroom?" I don't know, I don't work-

    27. JRJoe Rogan30:12

        Wow

    28. ASAli Siddiq30:12

        ... but it was like I looked like a usher. [laughs]

    29. JRJoe Rogan30:15

        [laughs]

    30. ASAli Siddiq30:16

        Like, yo, I'm like, "Yo, this sucks," you know? But-
11. 32:39 – 37:09

    ‘Stop pretending’: lessons on authenticity, hate, and ‘fake it till you make it’

    1. ASAli Siddiq32:39

       It's a lot of, it's a lot of energy. And my dad, this one s- this is one story that I did not put in the special that I should have. And my dad had all these, these thoughts, and he was... I, I literally say he was a crazy man, but when you think about the things that he would say, made sense. My dad... And why would you be telling me this at the age that... But he just gave them. I, I think I was, like, 11, and my dad out of nowhere just say, "You know something? People been s- spending the same time and money on being fake when they can pu- put that same time and money into being real."

    2. JRJoe Rogan33:15

       Yeah.

    3. ASAli Siddiq33:16

       I was... And I'm like, I didn't know, I didn't understand what that meant. But as I got older, if you spend any money or time faking something, you could probably spend that money and time being real-

    4. JRJoe Rogan33:33

       Yeah

    5. ASAli Siddiq33:33

       ... about something.

    6. JRJoe Rogan33:34

       Yeah.

    7. ASAli Siddiq33:35

       You know, why go buy a fake necklace [laughs] to, to act like you rich when you can go buy a real necklace, if saying, at some point, if saying... And, you know, be actually, be rich. You know, if that's what... If you, you comparing it to necklaces. But I just didn't understand it at the time. But then as I got older, I understood, like, why put this, why put this time in to pretending when you can put that same energy in and then become real at what you do? It makes no sense.

    8. JRJoe Rogan34:08

       My Uncle Vinny, when I was six or seven years old, I was staying at, at, at his house with my cousins. And, uh, we were, um, we were supposed to brush our teeth, and I didn't like following rules, period. And so I wouldn't brush my teeth. Instead, I would take toothpaste and smoosh it around on my teeth-

    9. ASAli Siddiq34:27

       [laughs]

    10. JRJoe Rogan34:27

        ... and so that when they smell my breath, they would smell toothpaste. And my uncle explained to me, he goes, he goes, uh, "I understand why you're doing it." I go... He goes, "But the amount of time that you're spending pretending to brush your teeth, you could have just brushed your teeth." And I thought about that when I was six. I was like, "Damn." I was just a little kid, so, but I was like, "Ah, he's right. Why am I faking brushing my teeth?" [laughs]

    11. ASAli Siddiq34:52

        [laughs] Yeah, put on a, put on a show.

    12. JRJoe Rogan34:54

        I feel like I was six years old. I was like, "I feel like such a..." My Uncle Vinny was, like, super patient and super calm. Out of all my family members, he was the, the strangest, out of all these wild, crazy Italian people. Like, he was the, he was an artist, and he was, like, v- very soft-spoken and never got angry about anything. He would always speak really rationally. I was like, "God, he's so smart." [laughs] He's just so peaceful.

    13. ASAli Siddiq35:17

        [laughs]

    14. JRJoe Rogan35:18

        He just... But he l- the way he laid it out, when I... He didn't say, "Hey, I know you're not brushing your teeth, you little fuck." [laughs] Wasn't, wasn't that.

    15. ASAli Siddiq35:24

        Yeah.

    16. JRJoe Rogan35:24

        It was, "The time you're spending pretending to brush your teeth. You could have just brushed your teeth."

    17. ASAli Siddiq35:28

        You could have just brushed your teeth.

    18. JRJoe Rogan35:29

        But it was like, sometimes adults will say something to you like that when you're six, and it just gets in your head, and you're like, "Whoa, okay. That just saved me a whole lot of time." [laughs]

    19. ASAli Siddiq35:40

        [laughs] Like I could just brush them.

    20. JRJoe Rogan35:42

        Just brush your fucking teeth. Stop pretending. Stop faking. It doesn't help anything.

    21. ASAli Siddiq35:48

        Yeah.

    22. JRJoe Rogan35:48

        It does the opposite.

    23. ASAli Siddiq35:50

        Does the opposite. And, you know, people, uh, the truth sometimes is, is hurtful to people.

    24. JRJoe Rogan35:58

        The truth doesn't feel good, you know, to a lot of people, unfortunately. But, you know, you have to look at it- You have to have perspective

    25. ASAli Siddiq36:08

        But that's the ultimate hate right there. That's the ultimate hate is for me to give you a falsehood instead of tell you the truth.

    26. JRJoe Rogan36:16

        Right.

    27. ASAli Siddiq36:17

        That's the ultimate, it's the ultimate hate. I-

    28. JRJoe Rogan36:19

        Especially if like you're making up a background for yourself, you're making up a story about your life that's not true. You're, you're pretending you're somewhere in life that you're not, you know?

    29. ASAli Siddiq36:30

        Yo, man, just do the thing. Just do the thing.

    30. JRJoe Rogan36:34

        Yeah, but it's hard for people. It's hard for people, and then there's a lot of people that think you just fake it until you make it. And then there's, you hear stories.
12. 37:09 – 41:26

    Taxes, government spending, and the ‘team’ idea of America

    1. JRJoe Rogan37:09

       Exactly, like when they arrested Carl Spencer recently for like all his counts of tax fraud. I was like, "Okay, I don't want that to happen to him, but c- c- c- c- c- c- there it is." [laughs] Right? I mean, that's what it is.

    2. ASAli Siddiq37:26

       I'm not, I'm not laughing at Carl Spencer. I'm just laughing at the fact [laughs] that you like, "Yeah, yeah, when they busted Carl." [laughs]

    3. JRJoe Rogan37:33

       I mean, I didn't, I wasn't, didn't bring me any joy to see that. I don't like anybody-

    4. ASAli Siddiq37:36

       Yeah

    5. JRJoe Rogan37:36

       ... getting arrested for taxes. I think t- I think taxes-

    6. ASAli Siddiq37:41

       Taxes

    7. JRJoe Rogan37:41

       ... until they have an accurate account of where the fucking money goes, and until you completely eliminate all fraud and waste, what the fuck are you doing locking people up for not paying taxes? Like, you guys should get locked up for not doing a good job with our money.

    8. ASAli Siddiq38:03

       So what you think about all the new purchases and redoing the White House and all this with tax dollars?

    9. JRJoe Rogan38:10

       Did they do it with tax dollars?

    10. ASAli Siddiq38:11

        I don't know.

    11. JRJoe Rogan38:11

        Like how much money did they spend in tax dollars to do the ballroom?

    12. ASAli Siddiq38:15

        What's the-

    13. JRJoe Rogan38:16

        Let's find out.

    14. ASAli Siddiq38:16

        What's that, um, some-

    15. JRJoe Rogan38:18

        They need a ballroom, though. That's how that guy snuck in with a gun, 'cause they tried to do that White House Correspondence Dinner at a hotel. That dude who, uh, got arrested-

    16. ASAli Siddiq38:26

        [laughs]

    17. JRJoe Rogan38:26

        ... a few months back.

    18. ASAli Siddiq38:27

        What, what's this, this, this resolution, the pool something full of algae right now that we spent all money on that?

    19. JRJoe Rogan38:34

        Yeah, I don't know about that. That's something about making the pool look nice that, that, whatever that is.

    20. ASAli Siddiq38:39

        The, the-

    21. JRJoe Rogan38:39

        Reflecting pool?

    22. ASAli Siddiq38:40

        Yeah, the reflecting pool.

    23. JRJoe Rogan38:41

        Reports indicate the new White House East Wing ballroom is projected to cost about 600 million, with roughly half, just over 300 million, coming from taxpayer-funded government accounts, despite earlier promises that it would be taxpayer free. 300 million sounds like a lot until you find out how much money they spend on other things. When you find out how mu- just how much fraud it, the, is in NGOs, how much fraud is in nonprofits, how much fraud is in insider trading and propping up companies so that they can get better deals.

    24. ASAli Siddiq39:16

        Well-

    25. JRJoe Rogan39:16

        The, the whole thing is fraud

    26. ASAli Siddiq39:18

        ... the, the thing is, if you spending... I understand how much money goes in other things, but if you, if you spending any money that, that that's my money that I don't know that, that I need it, or that's not really the aim, the goal-

    27. JRJoe Rogan39:34

        You should be able to vote on it

    28. ASAli Siddiq39:36

        ... you should be able to vote on it, but-

    29. JRJoe Rogan39:36

        You should be able to vote on where all your tax money goes

    30. ASAli Siddiq39:38

        ... how much money is, how much tax money is being spent on getting smart people in places, getting smart, making smart children?
13. 41:26 – 48:45

    Attention as a fight persona: spectacle, Muhammad Ali tactics, and modern provocation

    1. ASAli Siddiq41:26

       You know, it's, it's, it was... If, if I'm watching the, the extravaganza that happened at the White House, what was the thing, "Michelle Obama is a man"? Like, how did that help, how did that help-

    2. JRJoe Rogan41:39

       That guy says that every time he does a speech

    3. ASAli Siddiq41:42

       ... but what is the, what is the, the thing... First of all, it's, it's really divisive, because you know that a large portion of the country's gonna take this, is gonna have a problem with this. You know, clearly she's not a man. You know what I'm saying? But it makes no sense, like, to... I've never seen this many people say so many damaging things about a past president. It's like he's still on the forefront, and it's not like- We have a president that's doing the, the greatest job for this, this country. You know, which is, which is weird, a weird thing to me. And people gonna ask, is that what's the belief? That's the, that's the real belief of people? That's the real thing out there?

    4. JRJoe Rogan42:23

       Yeah. Well, listen, there's some crazy people that believe the world is flat. There's a lot of dumb beliefs. There's probably people that do believe Michelle Obama's a man. What that guy does, he's like a pro wrestler. Like, he's got a character called the Incredible Hulk.

    5. ASAli Siddiq42:36

       Mm-hmm.

    6. JRJoe Rogan42:37

       It's v- very corny in a lot of ways. Sometimes it's, you know, cringey. But the point is, he gets a lot of attention, a lot of attention because of all this. That's what he's doing. So what he's trying to do is maximize the m- amount of attention that he can get for a very short window of career. This is not how he really feels, how he really thinks. When you talk to him in real life, he's very reasonable. This is an act that he does, like a pro wrestling act. But what he can do is fight. He's really good, and that's what's so confusing about it all. So you got this guy who's created, like, this fake persona where he puts on an American flag bandana, comes out to Hulk Hogan music, does all his interviews with sunglasses on, has a bunch of crazy, silly rhymes, and says ridiculous shit, just trying to get attention.

    7. ASAli Siddiq43:22

       So-

    8. JRJoe Rogan43:22

       The most amount of attention.

    9. ASAli Siddiq43:23

       So he's-

    10. JRJoe Rogan43:23

        It's v- it is very divisive, don't get me wrong, but that's by design.

    11. ASAli Siddiq43:27

        So he's Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage in the same, in the same person.

    12. JRJoe Rogan43:31

        But an actual fighter.

    13. ASAli Siddiq43:32

        But an actual fighter.

    14. JRJoe Rogan43:32

        And a really fucking good one, man. He just knocked out Derrick Lewis at the White House. Derrick Lewis has the most-

    15. ASAli Siddiq43:37

        Fir-

    16. JRJoe Rogan43:37

        ... knockouts in the history of the sport.

    17. ASAli Siddiq43:39

        Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't do that. Don't do that, Joe.

    18. JRJoe Rogan43:41

        Don't do what?

    19. ASAli Siddiq43:41

        Let's, let's, let's ... Don't, don't, don't say that so excited, 'cause Derrick Lewis go to the same gym, um, Main Street Boxing Gym in Houston. I'm very close to that gym.

    20. JRJoe Rogan43:50

        Dude, I love Derrick Lewis.

    21. ASAli Siddiq43:51

        I don't like the fact that Derrick Lewis lost that fight. It's, it's, it's, it's-

    22. JRJoe Rogan43:55

        I think Derrick-

    23. ASAli Siddiq43:56

        [laughs]

    24. JRJoe Rogan43:56

        ... Derrick of 10 years ago-

    25. ASAli Siddiq43:58

        Yeah

    26. JRJoe Rogan43:58

        ... would've been a real fucking problem for that dude.

    27. ASAli Siddiq44:00

        Yeah.

    28. JRJoe Rogan44:00

        'Cause Derrick of 10 years ago, you couldn't hold him down. He would just get up. He, there's a whole compilation of people trying to hold Derrick Lewis down, where he just gets a hand on you and just whoop, your f- ... His grip, they did that UFC grip thing where they test the grip.

    29. ASAli Siddiq44:14

        Yeah.

    30. JRJoe Rogan44:15

        Everybody's like 140. The strong ones are like 160, one-nin- ... Derrick just squeezed it casual, 218.
14. 48:45 – 54:54

    CIA, MKUltra, LSD, and culture shaping: hippies, rap, and division as strategy

    1. JRJoe Rogan48:45

       Well, yeah, there was a lot of hippies back then, man. And I think, um, the original idea behind it was great. And I was just watching this thing today about the CIA and LSD and what they did. It was really funny, man. It was a, um-

    2. JRJoe Rogan48:57

       That video?

    3. JRJoe Rogan48:58

       Yeah, that cute-

    4. JRJoe Rogan48:58

       The Grateful Dead thing?

    5. JRJoe Rogan48:59

       ... Animal Deja.

    6. ASAli Siddiq48:59

       I saw it, too.

    7. JRJoe Rogan49:00

       Isn't that dope?

    8. JRJoe Rogan49:00

       Yeah.

    9. JRJoe Rogan49:01

       See if you can find it. Put it up, 'cause it's kinda cool. I-

    10. JRJoe Rogan49:03

        There's conveniently an MKUltra hearing going on right now on the-

    11. JRJoe Rogan49:06

        Oh

    12. JRJoe Rogan49:06

        ... things. Yeah.

    13. JRJoe Rogan49:07

        How convenient.

    14. JRJoe Rogan49:08

        [laughs] I know.

    15. JRJoe Rogan49:08

        Listen, bro, that, they... I got it right here, Jamie. I'll send it to you. Um, they 100% are still doing that, no if, ands, or buts. If you think they did that in the '60s, and they 100% did, if they're doing mind control experiments on people and they're influencing people's opinions, and h- half of the reason why people are at odds with each other all day long on, online is probably government intervention. [laughs]

    16. ASAli Siddiq49:31

        Hey-

    17. JRJoe Rogan49:31

        At one point, or some government's intervention.

    18. ASAli Siddiq49:34

        This is, this is-

    19. JRJoe Rogan49:34

        If not ours, Russia and China and...

    20. ASAli Siddiq49:37

        This is wild that-

    21. JRJoe Rogan49:38

        It's clear

    22. JRJoe Rogan49:38

        The CIA created the hippie movement, and your mom's favorite band probably helped them. In the 1950s, the CIA bought up the world's supply of LSD. They brought it to the pharmaceutical company, Eli Lilly, who reverse engineered it, giving them an unlimited supply and a complete monopoly. Then the testing started. One early volunteer for these tests was Ken Kesey. Kesey wrote a book inspired by this experience, which became a bestseller. Then Kesey went on to host events, which he called acid tests. And he wasn't charging anyone, he just wanted people to show up and do acid. For these events, he hired an unknown house band called The Grateful Dead. These events became wildly popular, and with them rose the popularity of the band. So The Grateful Dead begins touring, and Kesey follows them around in a bus from show to show, and everywhere he went he brought a vat full of Kool-Aid laced with LSD. This guy had a seemingly endless supply, exporting the hippie culture all around the US. Meanwhile, the CIA is flooding college campuses with LSD under the guise of research, and The Grateful Dead was just one of many bands in this movement. At the same time, in Laurel Canyon, came a wave of musicians with something in common: they were all children of high-ranking military officials.

    23. ASAli Siddiq50:47

        [laughs]

    24. JRJoe Rogan50:47

        The biggest names in music, Jim Morrison of The Doors was the son of an admiral. Frank Zappa's father was a chemical warfare specialist. Even Crosby, Stills, and Nash. Yeah, all three of them. And all of these bands as well. The theory is the CIA orchestrated the hippie movement to steer a very real anti-war movement into something a little easier to combat, dissent without teeth. The hippie slogan was literally-

    25. JRJoe Rogan51:09

        Turn on, tune in, and drop out

    26. JRJoe Rogan51:14

        ... in other words, do acid and remove yourself from society. And a lot of them did drop out of society to go live in communes in the woods. This intersection between hippie culture and the CIA could all be a great big coincidence. Maybe military brats naturally want to rebel, and maybe the CIA was giving away acid because they're chill like that.

    27. ASAli Siddiq51:34

        [laughs]

    28. JRJoe Rogan51:34

        And maybe the CIA created the hippie movement, and your mom's favorite-

    29. JRJoe Rogan51:38

        Yeah

    30. JRJoe Rogan51:38

        ... band probably helped them. And it-
15. 54:54 – 1:38:18

    Parenting after success: discipline, privilege, and what kids actually absorb

    1. ASAli Siddiq54:54

       This is how I see-

    2. JRJoe Rogan54:56

       That's not a good team

    3. ASAli Siddiq54:57

       ... this is how I see with parenting. It's hard to parent i- if your, your n- number one goal is survival.

    4. JRJoe Rogan55:04

       Right.

    5. ASAli Siddiq55:05

       You know what I'm saying? It's, it's hard to parent.

    6. JRJoe Rogan55:07

       Right.

    7. ASAli Siddiq55:07

       You know, you, you got to parent from a comfortable space. You can't parent from... Nervous chickens really don't lay eggs, even though-

    8. JRJoe Rogan55:16

       That's true

    9. ASAli Siddiq55:16

       ... so the thing is, you, if... [sighs] Like, the way I parent now versus how my mom... My mom was strictly survival. So my thing is survival first.

    10. JRJoe Rogan55:28

        Right.

    11. ASAli Siddiq55:28

        You know what I'm saying? Then the rest of it. You know, I don't remember going to, um, on vacation with my parents. You know? It was like, "Vacation? What?" [laughs]

    12. JRJoe Rogan55:42

        Right.

    13. ASAli Siddiq55:42

        Like, your mom working two jobs and going to school trying to better... She just taking care of you.

    14. JRJoe Rogan55:47

        Right.

    15. ASAli Siddiq55:47

        So n- I'm not in a posi- my kids go on vacation. You know? It's different. You know? So I, I see things from both sides all the time because I'm... And th- which makes me grateful. I'm grateful that I can do the things that I can do with my family, you know what I'm saying? Versus parenting from a place of frustration.

    16. JRJoe Rogan56:10

        Yeah.

    17. ASAli Siddiq56:10

        You know? But I understand this, this, this frustration thing. You know, I'm trying to take care of you and, you know... And then sometime I look at my kids like, "You know something? You have it really easy, because if I wouldn't have washed them dishes, my mom would've destroyed me." [laughs] You know what I'm saying?

    18. JRJoe Rogan56:30

        [laughs]

    19. ASAli Siddiq56:30

        Because her mindset is, "Hey, I'm trying to take care y'all, c- y'all got to help in this." You know with me, it was like we have a, a housekeeper. You know what I'm saying? [laughs]

    20. JRJoe Rogan56:40

        [laughs]

    21. ASAli Siddiq56:40

        Like, the housekeeper come in four days out the week, you know? And now I'm like, "So you just gonna throw that stuff on, on the floor and you making it hard for the housekeeper? You know, the reason why she's there four days a week is so to make your life easier, but you, you're adding on to-

    22. JRJoe Rogan56:56

        By being lazy

    23. ASAli Siddiq56:57

        ... by being lazy. Like, like, I don't-

    24. JRJoe Rogan56:59

        There's a balancing act, right? You wanna protect your children, but you don't want them to develop soft. You want them to be able to take care of their own problems, and you want them to be able to understand the consequences of their actions. So there's this, like, fine line of, like, encouragement and punishment and, like, explaining to them how your life was different and you have to appreciate this life. This is very unusual. You're super fortunate. But I think ultimately what they learn from is how you behave. That's a giant part of being a parent that people, I don't think, are totally aware of until you start doing it, that they understand... You s- whatever the fuck you say is one thing. That's great.

    25. ASAli Siddiq57:45

        What you do is-

    26. JRJoe Rogan57:46

        But what you do is what they really see.

    27. ASAli Siddiq57:48

        And it's-

    28. JRJoe Rogan57:48

        And if you're a lazy fucker who's always making excuses, your kids are gonna not have respect for you. They're gonna know, like, real early on you're kinda full of shit.

    29. ASAli Siddiq57:56

        This is the craziest thing, though. You know how hard it is to put somebody on punishment and then say, "Hey, pack, we going to Cabo"? [laughs]

    30. JRJoe Rogan58:05

        [laughs]
16. 1:38:18 – 1:54:34

    Comedy craft stories: tiny crowds, broken mics, Mooney conflict, and Ron White’s surprise feature

    1. ASAli Siddiq1:38:18

       This is when, you know, it's, it's those times in, in comedy when you knew that that's what you actually love to do. And I remember I was in San Antonio at this, this place called Santa's. Um, he, he literally owned the whole strip, the club, the wash tier, the corner store, everything. It, guy named Santa. I didn't know that he owned it, but it was like a rainstorm or something that it got, the show got rained out, and it is literally three people in this room. It's two ladies and this Santa, and I don't, I don't know that this is him at the time. And we had to go on to get paid. The promoter was like, "I'm not paying nobody who don't go on. We still doing the show." I'm like, "Okay." So and it's like, this is $100. This is getting paid $100. And he was like, "Who, who going up?" I'm like, "I'm definitely going up, and I'm going up first. Like, I don't, I don't care." I did like a hour and 30 minutes-

    2. JRJoe Rogan1:39:21

       [laughs]

    3. ASAli Siddiq1:39:22

       ... for three people. And I was like, 'cause I kept looking at like, "Anybody else going up there?" They was like, "No, we good." I'm like, "I..." And Santa, I remember he t- he finally revealed that he was the owner of the club, and he was like, "Well, let me take you to the b-", he took me to the back and he gave me like $700. He was saying, for performing. He's like, "Yeah, man, you, you wasn't scared, and me and my friends had a good time." And it was like three people. It was literally, the dude named Vance, uh, put the show on. It was like three. Vance tell anybody this. So he was like, "This is when I knew Ali was different. When he went out, three people, he went first, and he's like an hour and 30." And he was like, "And it didn't look like he was coming down." I'm like, "Yo, bro, I'm, I'm, I'm here. This is what I do. I don't... And I need that $100, so [laughs] so that's definitely some extra motivation.

    4. JRJoe Rogan1:40:12

       It's crazy that no one else wanted to go up.

    5. ASAli Siddiq1:40:14

       They was like, "No." And another time I was at Wiley, um, it was at Wiley College, and Marcus was performing and the mic went out, and it's like all these people in this, in this auditorium, same place they shot, um, Denzel shot the movie, The Great Debate. So we in, we in this auditorium and the sound goes out, and they start ribbing Marcus, and I, and I was in the back, and I was like, "What's going on?" And it was like, "The sound went out." And I walked out, I was like, "What, what's happening?" And I said, "Hold on, Marcus. Let, let me, let me, let me ask him something. Wait a minute. I know damn well y'all not in here trying to give somebody a problem 'cause y'all got us in... We didn't bring the sound system. Got us in Fair East Side High performing [laughs] broken clock." And, and so I say, "Listen," Mar- Marcus sat down in the back, and I was like, "Yo, this is what we gonna do. I'ma talk, y'all gonna laugh, then I'ma talk some more, but y'all can't be laughing all along, 'cause we don't have no sound. So I'm not supposed to use my real voice in this."

    6. JRJoe Rogan1:41:16

       [laughs]

    7. ASAli Siddiq1:41:16

       So I'm at like 45, and then I look back at Marcus, I say, "Hey, man, you wanna come back up?" Marcus was like, "No. Like, you, you got it." [laughs] So I did like a, did like an hour and 20. He was like, "Yo, Ali's nuts." I'm like, "No, this is what I do, and I'ma figure it out."

    8. JRJoe Rogan1:41:36

       We did a show at the Improv once in Hollywood, and um, the power went out, and they were gonna cancel the show. And we were sitting there talking, and I said, "Why don't, can we light the stage somehow?" And they said, "Yeah, we can get a, um, emergency light attached to, like, a generator, and we can put a, you know, put the, run the wires through the crowd and put a emergency light on the stage." I go, "That's that. We'll do that, and then we'll just do stand-up with no mic." And we did the whole show with no mic. It was the opening, middle, and then me. I did a full hour. It was amazing. Everybody had a great fucking time. It felt special. It felt very unusual.

    9. ASAli Siddiq1:42:13

       Yeah.

    10. JRJoe Rogan1:42:13

        You got to see what it's like, like, when you don't have a microphone and you're pr- you're projecting to the back of the room. Changed my pacing on things, but it was great. It was, it felt cool.

    11. ASAli Siddiq1:42:23

        Yeah.

    12. JRJoe Rogan1:42:24

        It felt like you were doing something f- and the audience was into it. The, I go, "Look, we're gonna have fun, right? Like, fuck it. Who cares? This is gonna be, this is never gonna happen again probably ever."

    13. ASAli Siddiq1:42:34

        Yeah.

    14. JRJoe Rogan1:42:34

        I've never, I've been doing comedy 30-something years. I've never had that happen where I did a show with no microphone except that one.

    15. ASAli Siddiq1:42:40

        So this is the thing. These are the experiences that as a comic going through the trenches, that some comics will never have.

    16. JRJoe Rogan1:42:52

        Right.

    17. ASAli Siddiq1:42:52

        Because they didn't come up that way, and you have a different set of chops when you come up a certain type of way. I've come up, and Just Joking had to be the craziest ... place, 'cause some, some nights you'll come in there and it's like nine people, but these nine people are into comedy. And it, Alice will be like, "We gotta do the show." Like-

    18. JRJoe Rogan1:43:16

        Right

    19. ASAli Siddiq1:43:16

        ... it's not a, it's, we, we don't have a limit. We gotta do these people that's here.

    20. JRJoe Rogan1:43:21

        Mm-hmm.

    21. ASAli Siddiq1:43:21

        'Cause what, the thing is, that whole idea that the show must go on-

    22. JRJoe Rogan1:43:25

        Yeah

    23. ASAli Siddiq1:43:25

        ... regardless, regardless, too.

    24. JRJoe Rogan1:43:28

        Well, I learned that from Paul Mooney, too, and o- one of the things that I saw-

    25. ASAli Siddiq1:43:31

        [laughs]

    26. JRJoe Rogan1:43:32

        I did a, a show at The Comedy Store. It's, like, the first time that Mooney ever complimented me, and that I, I, I was always scared of him, 'cause, like, if Mooney didn't like you, it was terrifying. Just, he was a legend. He was a legend, wrote for Richard Pryor, and it was like the way he carried himself, like, if he didn't like you, like, ugh. And I was 27, you know, I was young and stupid. And, uh, I, I went up, 'cause I would always go up last, or late. I had late spots. And, uh, there was, like, 15 people in the room, but I did my act, and I heard in the back of the room, "Oh! Oh!" He was laughing, having fun, and then he grabbed me afterwards, he goes, "You a real motherfucking comic." He goes, "That's what a real comic does." He goes, "All these other motherfuckers, they went up there and they did, 'Oh, where you from?' Bitch, I know where I'm from. Tell me some fucking jokes. Do your fucking act, and that's what you did." And I was like, "Wow, Paul Mooney likes me. Whew."

    27. ASAli Siddiq1:44:25

        Me and Paul had a different type of relationship. [laughs]

    28. JRJoe Rogan1:44:29

        [laughs] Did you and Paul not get along?

    29. ASAli Siddiq1:44:33

        Um, it w- one, I have to always say, I love, I loved Paul, until I met him. [laughs]

    30. JRJoe Rogan1:44:43

        [laughs]
17. 1:54:34 – 1:57:39

    Comedy ecosystems: Austin’s rise, clubs, gatekeepers, and producing specials as a team sport

    1. ASAli Siddiq1:54:34

       I remember you guys came, Mothership was coming, then next thing I know, Creek and The Cave was here.

    2. JRJoe Rogan1:54:41

       Creek and The Cave was here first.

    3. ASAli Siddiq1:54:42

       Yeah, that, it was... And-

    4. JRJoe Rogan1:54:43

       Yeah

    5. ASAli Siddiq1:54:43

       ... I'm saying how I heard about it. I'm like, "Oh-"

    6. JRJoe Rogan1:54:45

       Yeah

    7. ASAli Siddiq1:54:46

       ... they was like, "Creek and The Cave." I'm like, "Damn, okay. Creek and The Cave is coming from New York." And then Mothership is here, and then... But they had rooms. You know, the main thing was, um, what was the room that, that was, um, so hard to get in at first? Um, it was a Austin comedy club. Damn. I forget the name of it.

    8. JRJoe Rogan1:55:07

       Velveeta Room?

    9. ASAli Siddiq1:55:08

       No. No, it was the actual comedy club.

    10. JRJoe Rogan1:55:10

        Cap City?

    11. ASAli Siddiq1:55:10

        Cap City.

    12. JRJoe Rogan1:55:11

        Yes.

    13. ASAli Siddiq1:55:12

        Um, Cap City-

    14. JRJoe Rogan1:55:13

        That place was always packed.

    15. ASAli Siddiq1:55:15

        Yeah.

    16. JRJoe Rogan1:55:15

        Oof.

    17. ASAli Siddiq1:55:15

        You know, it, the-

    18. JRJoe Rogan1:55:16

        I almost bought that place

    19. ASAli Siddiq1:55:17

        Yeah, I heard that

    20. JRJoe Rogan1:55:18

        Yeah, I almost bought that whole mall. But, but the guy [laughs] the guy who was trying to sell it to me wanted way more than it was worth, and then he got roped up in some FBI investigation. I, I was told-

    21. ASAli Siddiq1:55:31

        Yeah, we-

    22. JRJoe Rogan1:55:31

        ... while it was going on that he was being investigated, and I was like, "Oh, okay."

    23. ASAli Siddiq1:55:35

        That's wild.

    24. JRJoe Rogan1:55:35

        And didn't want him getting arrested and... But that building was for sale. The whole thing was for sale, and I went in there. I thought about how many shows I'd been there, how many sh- shows I'd seen there, how many shows I'd performed there over the... I'm like, "I could own this place? Oh my God."

    25. ASAli Siddiq1:55:48

        Cap City was the first place, um, that I did on the road with, um, DL.

    26. JRJoe Rogan1:55:55

        That was a great club.

    27. ASAli Siddiq1:55:56

        You know?

    28. JRJoe Rogan1:55:56

        Fucking great club. Perfect club. That place was amazing. Such a fun place to work.

    29. ASAli Siddiq1:56:02

        I think that people don't, didn't realize how the rich history of Houston, Dallas, Austin-

    30. JRJoe Rogan1:56:09

        Laugh Stop
18. 1:57:39 – 2:17:44

    Ari Shaffir, ‘This Is Not Happening,’ and psychedelic war stories (mushrooms, edibles, little people)

    1. JRJoe Rogan1:57:39

       Yeah. Ari Shaffir did it with a Hitler mustache once.

    2. ASAli Siddiq1:57:43

       Yeah.

    3. JRJoe Rogan1:57:43

       He, he, uh, trimmed his mustache to look like Adolf Hitler. [laughs]

    4. ASAli Siddiq1:57:46

       Ari, Ari is, Ari is, is by far the craziest person that I know.

    5. JRJoe Rogan1:57:51

       [laughs]

    6. ASAli Siddiq1:57:51

       Like, I thought my Uncle Mack was the craziest person-

    7. JRJoe Rogan1:57:54

       Yeah

    8. ASAli Siddiq1:57:54

       ... and then I met, and then I met Ari. I'm like, "This is the craziest person that I know."

    9. JRJoe Rogan1:57:59

       Yeah, he's awesome.

    10. ASAli Siddiq1:58:01

        Yeah, and, and [laughs]

    11. JRJoe Rogan1:58:02

        He just moved to England.

    12. ASAli Siddiq1:58:03

        [laughs]

    13. JRJoe Rogan1:58:03

        I'm like, "Brother gonna stab you." He moved to England. They will fucking stab you. They stab people there. Don't, don't get stabbed.

    14. ASAli Siddiq1:58:10

        Ari is nuts, but he's such a cool dude.

    15. JRJoe Rogan1:58:13

        Oh, he's the best.

    16. ASAli Siddiq1:58:13

        But he's fucking nuts. I s- I, I s- I went to go see him, um, at the Creek and the Cave when he, um, was getting ready to film his special, and I, I like, "Yo, Ari is so c- Ari is so crazy." If you just, if people took time, just, just go through the dif- the many looks of Ari Shaffir-

    17. JRJoe Rogan1:58:33

        Yeah

    18. ASAli Siddiq1:58:33

        ... on the internet. The one that killed me was the half [laughs] like he had-

    19. JRJoe Rogan1:58:38

        Oh, yeah

    20. ASAli Siddiq1:58:38

        ... he was just bald on one side-

    21. JRJoe Rogan1:58:40

        Yeah

    22. ASAli Siddiq1:58:40

        ... busted, then on the other. I'm like, "Yo, is he doing Two-Face?" Like-

    23. JRJoe Rogan1:58:44

        [laughs]

    24. ASAli Siddiq1:58:44

        ... he is insane.

    25. JRJoe Rogan1:58:46

        He did Two-Face for Batman. Yeah, he's out of his mind.

    26. ASAli Siddiq1:58:49

        Yeah.

    27. JRJoe Rogan1:58:49

        But, but that's really who he is, you know? He ain't, he's not trying.

    28. ASAli Siddiq1:58:53

        Yeah, he's not try- he's not trying.

    29. JRJoe Rogan1:58:54

        That's what he is. He's out of his mind.

    30. ASAli Siddiq1:58:56

        Yeah. [laughs]
19. 2:17:44 – 2:24:31

    TV obsession and modern escapism: ‘From,’ Peaky Blinders, Yellowstone, Landman

    1. ASAli Siddiq2:17:44

       So it's this show that I watch that I still don't know what this show is about, but I've watched... I'm on season number four, and I have no idea what the-

    2. JRJoe Rogan2:17:57

       What show is it?

    3. ASAli Siddiq2:17:57

       It's called From.

    4. JRJoe Rogan2:17:58

       Ah, I've been watching it. I love that show. I'm in the middle of season four right now.

    5. ASAli Siddiq2:18:03

       And so you know he's taking mushrooms.

    6. JRJoe Rogan2:18:04

       The one guy did, yeah.

    7. ASAli Siddiq2:18:06

       Yeah, and-

    8. JRJoe Rogan2:18:06

       Well, you... Spoiler alert.

    9. SPSpeaker2:18:07

       Spoiler.

    10. ASAli Siddiq2:18:07

        No, but you know.

    11. SPSpeaker2:18:08

        Yeah, spoiler alert.

    12. ASAli Siddiq2:18:08

        But you know already.

    13. JRJoe Rogan2:18:09

        Big spoiler. I know, but the people-

    14. SPSpeaker2:18:11

        I didn't see it yet

    15. JRJoe Rogan2:18:11

        ... that listen don't know.

    16. ASAli Siddiq2:18:11

        Hey, the pe-

    17. JRJoe Rogan2:18:12

        Yeah, don't-

    18. ASAli Siddiq2:18:12

        It's still gonna be fantastic

    19. JRJoe Rogan2:18:13

        ... come on. Don't fuck this up. It's good.

    20. ASAli Siddiq2:18:15

        And I saw MG-

    21. SPSpeaker2:18:16

        No, they're moving it.

    22. JRJoe Rogan2:18:16

        It's on Paramount.

    23. ASAli Siddiq2:18:16

        Oh, they mo- they moving it?

    24. JRJoe Rogan2:18:18

        Yeah, they're moving it.

    25. ASAli Siddiq2:18:18

        Oh, shit.

    26. SPSpeaker2:18:18

        One of, one of these new shows that's been talked about that's getting moved early.

    27. JRJoe Rogan2:18:20

        No, no, no, the, that's still on Paramount.

    28. SPSpeaker2:18:23

        Hold on.

    29. ASAli Siddiq2:18:23

        Yeah, From-

    30. JRJoe Rogan2:18:24

        I think it's MGM. I think it says MGM.
20. 2:24:31 – 2:30:50

    Meat, fake meat, and factory farming math: chickens, crawfish, and food ecosystems

    1. JRJoe Rogan2:24:31

       The real world of oil must be nuts. It must be nuts. I mean, that's why we're in war right now.

    2. ASAli Siddiq2:24:36

       And you, you have to be ruthless-

    3. JRJoe Rogan2:24:39

       Yeah

    4. ASAli Siddiq2:24:39

       ... you know, with oil. Like, that's a big thing. And I don't understand fake meat. Like, why would people be giving somebody fake meat?

    5. JRJoe Rogan2:24:48

       Well, 'cause they make money selling fake meat.

    6. ASAli Siddiq2:24:50

       That's fucking stupid.

    7. JRJoe Rogan2:24:51

       That's why.

    8. ASAli Siddiq2:24:51

       That's fucking stupid.

    9. JRJoe Rogan2:24:51

       [clears throat] I mean, that's, that's, uh, what a lot of people were trying to push, why they were saying that cows are bad. "Cows and methane, it's the environment, man." It's bullshit. But all, all they're doing is trying to... Someone is pushing this idea that we need to stop eating meat because they're profiting off of us not, not eating meat. That's what it is. It's all it is. It's not bad for you. It's good for you. You need it. It's protein. It's super healthy, and one of the best foods in the world for you. There's a, just a bunch of horseshit out there saying that we need to l- eat less meat for the environment. No. We need to figure out how to not pollute, that's for sure, but regenerative farms aren't polluting. You're full of shit. It's not true. You know, if you wanna say y- y- we need to stop doing factory farming, okay, maybe. [clears throat] Yeah, that's probably a good thing to do. But you need to figure out how to feed all these fucking people. You've, you've developed a system that's entirely reliant on massive amounts of animals moving through. The amount of chickens that people eat in America every day is crazy.

    10. ASAli Siddiq2:25:50

        Yeah.

    11. JRJoe Rogan2:25:50

        It's cr- what are the amount of chickens that get consumed in America every day? Let's guess.

    12. ASAli Siddiq2:25:57

        20 million.

    13. JRJoe Rogan2:25:58

        At least. At least. I wanna say 50 million. 50 million chickens a day. How many million chickens a day get killed? That's a different question Oh, okay. How many do we eat? Yeah How many millions of chickens do we eat every day in America?

    14. ASAli Siddiq2:26:13

        'Cause I know I can account for three in my house. [laughs]

    15. JRJoe Rogan2:26:17

        22 million. 22 million chickens-

    16. ASAli Siddiq2:26:20

        22 million

    17. JRJoe Rogan2:26:20

        ... every day, son. That's nuts.

    18. ASAli Siddiq2:26:23

        That-

    19. JRJoe Rogan2:26:23

        That is a crazy amount. That's way bigger than the entire, uh, residents of Los Angeles, if every person was a chicken.

    20. ASAli Siddiq2:26:31

        Man, I-

    21. JRJoe Rogan2:26:32

        Every... We eat that amount in this country every day.

    22. ASAli Siddiq2:26:34

        In-

    23. JRJoe Rogan2:26:34

        That's crazy

    24. ASAli Siddiq2:26:35

        ... in my home alone, if we roasting chicken, if we going to get a roast chicken, we gonna get three of them, 'cause it's, it's gonna... I didn't even know that I could eat a whole chicken by myself-

    25. JRJoe Rogan2:26:46

        [laughs]

    26. ASAli Siddiq2:26:46

        ... until I did it. [laughs] It's like, yo, man, this is... This, um, Muslim, um, grocery store, they sell them in there, and it's already roasted, and you get two garlic sauces with each chicken. And once you dip a piece of that chicken in that garlic sauce, it's not gonna survive. Like-

    27. JRJoe Rogan2:27:06

        [laughs]

    28. ASAli Siddiq2:27:07

        ... it's like, I bought three of them 'cause I know if two are gonna make it home, I have to eat this one by myself. And they, and they put it on a piece of pita bread, it's already roasted, and it's insane that I would eat a whole chicken by myself.

    29. JRJoe Rogan2:27:21

        Estimates suggest 24 to 26 million chickens are killed every day in the United States for meat. So that's a sss- So if you, uh, don't want factory farming, you gotta figure out a solution where you can get 26 million chickens a day, or you convince people they need to stop eating meat.

    30. ASAli Siddiq2:27:39

        But if, if, if we look at, like, say if I'm looking at a show, um, Game of Thrones or House of Dragons, when I would see them sit down to eat, it was a lot of meat-
21. 2:30:50 – 2:31:49

    Nature’s balance and unintended consequences: gators, Guam frogs, China’s sparrows, invasive carp

    1. JRJoe Rogan2:30:50

       Think of how many crawfish there would be if people weren't eating them. Like, when I was a kid, uh, I grew up in Florida for a while. We lived in Florida, in Gainesville, and there was alligators there.

    2. ASAli Siddiq2:30:58

       Gainesville, Florida.

    3. JRJoe Rogan2:30:59

       But they were protected.

    4. ASAli Siddiq2:31:01

       Wow.

    5. JRJoe Rogan2:31:01

       Back then, the alligators were protected.

    6. ASAli Siddiq2:31:03

       Like, the Everglades?

    7. JRJoe Rogan2:31:04

       Well, it wasn't the Everglades quite. Here, okay, hold on. Edible jellyfish. Best-known edible species in use in Asian cuisine. Oh, boy, try to say that word. Rhopilema esculentum, often referred to as the Japanese edible jellyfish. That's a lot easier.

    8. ASAli Siddiq2:31:22

       Salted in Japan.

    9. JRJoe Rogan2:31:22

       Or flame jellyfish. Yeah, so there's a few different species of jellyfish. Anyway, my point was, uh, when I was a kid, uh, alligators were protected, and they were at this lake, and you could see them, and people would throw marshmallows in the water, and the alligators would eat them. And then, uh, now there's too many. Like, there, there's so many alligators there now, like, they, they can't get rid of them. They're, they're in every body of water. Everywhere you go, there's alligators.

Episode duration: 2:41:10