Joe Rogan Experience #2557 - Yakov Smirnoff

1. 0:00 – 0:02

   Intro

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      [upbeat music]

2. 0:02 – 2:02

   Ground Zero mural gift & settling into the conversation

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:02

      Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night. All day. [upbeat music] Let's go, Yakov. What's happening, baby?

   2. YSYakov Smirnoff0:14

      [laughs]

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:14

      How are you?

   4. YSYakov Smirnoff0:15

      I'm doing great.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:15

      Good to see you.

   6. YSYakov Smirnoff0:16

      Nice to see you.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:18

      I know, Jamie's snuckin' up on us. Bam, just turn on.

   8. YSYakov Smirnoff0:20

      [laughs]

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:21

      Bam.

   10. YSYakov Smirnoff0:22

       That way you don't have a chance to freak out.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:24

       Yeah. [laughs] Thank you.

   12. YSYakov Smirnoff0:25

       Um, what's in the bag?

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:26

       Oh.

   14. YSYakov Smirnoff0:26

       What do you got in there?

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:27

       Okay. So there are a couple of things. Uh-

   16. YSYakov Smirnoff0:29

       Oh, couple things

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:30

       ... one, yeah, one is, uh, it's a mu- mural, piece of the mural that I painted at the Ground Zero, and I thought it would be interesting for you to have. You painted a mural at Ground Zero?

   18. YSYakov Smirnoff0:43

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:44

       Oh, wow.

   20. YSYakov Smirnoff0:44

       Yeah. So that, that was something, and I actually sent them, uh, Paul Harvey did the, um, uh, the rest of the story about that, and I, I sent them a video if they wanted to-

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:57

       Yeah, I don't know if we could play that, unfortunately.

   22. YSYakov Smirnoff0:59

       Yeah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:59

       I think it's got, like, a copyright to it.

   24. YSYakov Smirnoff1:02

       Actually, I was in touch-

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:03

       We've been told. Jamie, Jess, isn't that what they said? It'd be tough. Yeah.

   26. YSYakov Smirnoff1:07

       Right.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:08

       With the sound there.

   28. YSYakov Smirnoff1:08

       And-

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:08

       So there's the mural. There's a photo of the mural.

   30. YSYakov Smirnoff1:11

       Right, right. And, uh, it was, uh, I was in touch with Paul Harvey Jr., asking if that would be okay, and they said it's fine, and they'll send you-
3. 2:02 – 3:24

   Rogan on persistence, luck, and why podcasts work

   1. JRJoe Rogan2:02

      What do you mean?

   2. YSYakov Smirnoff2:03

      No, like, I watch you, and I'm in such in awe of what you were able to, your, your career, your trajectory, how you were able to sustain that longevity and then transition to this amazing voice. Um, it's just, it's been a- an honor, uh, to know you and be here, so I'm, I'm a little nervous.

   3. JRJoe Rogan2:30

      Well, don't be nervous. Uh, 'cause listen, it's all just dumb luck.

   4. YSYakov Smirnoff2:33

      [laughs]

   5. JRJoe Rogan2:34

      There's a, a giant percentage of it that's dumb luck. That's a fact. I mean, I'm very persistent. That helps. But, uh, this thing, this, b- b- the podcast is, a lot of it is luck. You know how people, like, talk about, like, having a vision board? "Oh, I had a vision board. I imagined..." And people say that to me all the time, like, "I'm sure you did that with this show." I'm like, "Eh."

   6. YSYakov Smirnoff2:52

      [laughs]

   7. JRJoe Rogan2:53

      I didn't do anything of the sort. I just kept doing it, and it got big.

   8. YSYakov Smirnoff2:56

      Mm-hmm.

   9. JRJoe Rogan2:57

      But it's, uh, just t- people talking, simple. Just like you and I talk in the green room.

   10. YSYakov Smirnoff3:01

       Yes. Yes.

   11. JRJoe Rogan3:01

       We're talking here.

   12. YSYakov Smirnoff3:02

       Yes.

   13. JRJoe Rogan3:03

       It's no big deal. It's just a bunch of people get to listen to us.

   14. YSYakov Smirnoff3:05

       Yes. Yes, yes.

   15. JRJoe Rogan3:06

       It's nothing that spectacular.

   16. YSYakov Smirnoff3:08

       [laughs]

   17. JRJoe Rogan3:09

       [laughs] The spectacular thing is my guests. That's the fortunate thing. I'm the fortunate one-

   18. YSYakov Smirnoff3:13

       No

   19. JRJoe Rogan3:13

       ... 'cause I get to talk to so many cool people. Look at you with your fucking American flag on your, on your, uh, phone cover.

   20. YSYakov Smirnoff3:20

       I, yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan3:20

       Look at that.

   22. YSYakov Smirnoff3:20

       I, uh-

   23. JRJoe Rogan3:21

       Don't get s- fooled by the accent, ladies-

   24. YSYakov Smirnoff3:23

       [laughs]

4. 3:24 – 14:25

   When the Soviet Union fell, Yakov’s U.S. career collapsed—and Branson saved it

   1. JRJoe Rogan3:24

      ... and gentlemen. Um, you know, we were talking about your story in the green room, and I was like, "We have to do a podcast."

   2. YSYakov Smirnoff3:30

      Mm.

   3. JRJoe Rogan3:30

      Because your s- your story is so crazy how when the wall fell, so did your career.

   4. YSYakov Smirnoff3:36

      Yes.

   5. JRJoe Rogan3:36

      Like, you had this massive career. I remember you from The Tonight Show.

   6. YSYakov Smirnoff3:40

      Yes.

   7. JRJoe Rogan3:40

      I, I remember you all the time.

   8. YSYakov Smirnoff3:42

      Yes.

   9. JRJoe Rogan3:42

      You know? "In Russia," you always had those jokes-

   10. YSYakov Smirnoff3:44

       Yes

   11. JRJoe Rogan3:44

       ... about in Russia.

   12. YSYakov Smirnoff3:44

       Yes.

   13. JRJoe Rogan3:45

       And it was great, because-

   14. YSYakov Smirnoff3:46

       Yeah

   15. JRJoe Rogan3:46

       ... like, you were a Russian comedian doing standup in the United States.

   16. YSYakov Smirnoff3:50

       Yes.

   17. JRJoe Rogan3:51

       And then once, once the Soviet Union fell.

   18. YSYakov Smirnoff3:55

       Yes. The, Letterman, uh, David Letterman had a top 10 list of, uh, things that will now change that the Soviet Union's no longer there, and I made number one on the list, "Yakov Smirnoff will be out of work."

   19. JRJoe Rogan4:09

       [laughs]

   20. YSYakov Smirnoff4:10

       And I thought it was humorous, because I was living in Pacific Palisades next to Tom Hanks and Arnold Schwarzenegger. I mean, I thought American dream will never end, and all of a sudden it, it, six months later, none of my contracts in Las Vegas, Atlantic City, Reno, Tahoe, none of them were renewed. And I could not find work, literally. I mean, I tried back to clubs, and they wouldn't have me either.

   21. JRJoe Rogan4:40

       What?

   22. YSYakov Smirnoff4:41

       Yeah. It was, um, the comparison, uh, uh, there was, uh, Van Meter, uh, that was a impersonator of John F. Kennedy. Um, he was, um, um, an, an impersonator, was very popular at that time. And then after the assassinat- uh, assassination, his career went nowhere right away. And so somewhat in, in some ways it was similar to that, that, uh, I was associated with the Soviet Union, and my humor was associated with that, and it was helping, I was helping, um, President Reagan write, uh, jokes for his speeches for when he would go to Moscow. Um, uh, you have a picture somewhere, Jamie, of... I, I mean, it was amazing. All of a sudden I was like a joke supplier for the White House, and, uh, it was, uh, uh, my career was just growing higher and higher, and all of a sudden it was gone. And I wasn't-

   23. JRJoe Rogan5:53

       That doesn't make any sense. I mean, you still had great jokes.

   24. YSYakov Smirnoff5:57

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan5:58

       And I'm sure people still wanted to see you That's what didn't make any sense

   26. YSYakov Smirnoff6:02

       It wasn't, I guess I wasn't relevant because they associated me so much with that. And so I started, after not having work, uh, and not be able to pay mortgage, I start looking for a place where they did not know that the Soviet Union collapsed.

   27. JRJoe Rogan6:23

       [laughs]

   28. YSYakov Smirnoff6:24

       And I ended up in Branson, Missouri. I joke about this in my show, but it's was a blessing in disguise because I was, all of a sudden, my fa- uh, my humor was family-friendly, and this town is very much like that, and they embraced me. And I sta- I mean, it wasn't right away, but it grew and grew and grew.

   29. JRJoe Rogan6:51

       Wow. And what, what is Branson like? 'Cause I would always hear about it, like, it was always, like, we, we would hear about it in LA, that it was this, like, freaky Bible town. That it's, like, the creationist museums and stuff like that. Like, here- here's a reconstruction of the ark. Like, that's w- the kinda stuff that you would hear. I've s- obviously, I never went, so I don't know

   30. YSYakov Smirnoff7:10

       Yeah, yeah. Um, I didn't wanna go to Branson, okay? I was living in LA. [laughs] I didn't, I mean, I, I-
5. 14:25 – 33:12

   Divorce, reinvention, and turning comedy into a ‘laboratory of laughter’

   1. YSYakov Smirnoff14:25

      So, so I went into... And that also coincided with my divorce and, um, and I was struggling, trying to figure out what's, w- what direction do I go? And I realized that this, I was helping the Cold War to end in some ways by being in, involved with Reagan and, and helping with that. And, um, when, when that happened, I figured, you know, my divorce is happening. I know laughter helped the world become a better place. Why is there laughter in the beginning of the relationship with men and women, and then when there's divorce, the only people laughing are at- attorneys? And I put that question to my audience. So it became kind of like my laboratory of laughter. I just start asking people, I said, "How many of you remember laughter being part of that honeymoon stage of your relationship?" And they all applaud. And then I go, "How many would go on a second date if you didn't have laughter on the first date?" And no one applauded. So I, I became, like, this is kind of a universal thing that I was... My dad was an engineer and inventor, so my brain is kind of constantly, I, I'm looking for reverse engineering. Why is it that laughter goes away in a relationship? So as comedians, we gauge our relationship with the audience with laughter every time.

   2. JRJoe Rogan16:05

      Did the relationship fall apart because you had to move to Missouri?

   3. YSYakov Smirnoff16:09

      Well-

   4. JRJoe Rogan16:10

      Or was it just going south in-

   5. YSYakov Smirnoff16:11

      ... it challenges, yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan16:12

      Yeah.

   7. YSYakov Smirnoff16:12

      It, it added to this, but I think I was looking for the root of this more, uh, like, what is that, that I am, uh, missing, that I didn't do? Because, you know, I was-

   8. JRJoe Rogan16:25

      You had a gimmick.

   9. YSYakov Smirnoff16:27

      Uh, I had a gimmick.

   10. JRJoe Rogan16:27

       You had a gimmick, yeah.

   11. YSYakov Smirnoff16:28

       But, but that was with my audience. What was happening with my wife? Why was-

   12. JRJoe Rogan16:34

       Mm

   13. YSYakov Smirnoff16:34

       ... that falling apart? So I start seeing the parallel. And the kids were little at that time, and I, um, was trying to explain to them, uh, what was going on. And I can show you what I did. I brought this with me.

   14. JRJoe Rogan16:50

       [laughs]

   15. YSYakov Smirnoff16:52

       Um, it's, uh, I, I showed this to [laughs] ... I know, it's show and tell. I sh- I brought it, uh, for my... I started, I s- I, I took magnets and I was showing my kids. I said, "Look, Mommy and Daddy, and we, um, we attracted one another, and we had you, and we had love and laughter," and what was happening. And then something happened, and I don't know if you can show it, Jamie, uh, on this-

   16. JRJoe Rogan17:21

       There's people listening as well.

   17. YSYakov Smirnoff17:22

       Okay. Oh, okay. So-

   18. JRJoe Rogan17:23

       The, the magnets are gonna repel

   19. YSYakov Smirnoff17:24

       ... the magnets, they attract, but then when things don't go well, they repel.

   20. JRJoe Rogan17:30

       Right.

   21. YSYakov Smirnoff17:31

       So I was going, what is it that's attracting us, and what is it that's repelling us? And then after doing this, and I w- I went to University of Pennsylvania, got my, um, a master's degree in psychology, got my doctorate degree at Pepperdine. I mean, I was digging in. I was doing-

   22. JRJoe Rogan17:50

       You did all this while you were doing Branson?

   23. YSYakov Smirnoff17:53

       While I was performing Branson, yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan17:54

       How were you doing that?

   25. YSYakov Smirnoff17:55

       I would travel. I would just go do a weekend, uh, just... I would take my schedule, make it the way I want it, and whatever I had to do, I would just travel to, uh, Pennsylvania to, uh, and, and do that. And-

   26. JRJoe Rogan18:13

       And you were taking in-person classes?

   27. YSYakov Smirnoff18:15

       Yeah, yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan18:16

       But how were you doing that?

   29. YSYakov Smirnoff18:16

       But on the weekends.

   30. JRJoe Rogan18:17

       You were doing four... You were on the weekends.
6. 33:12 – 41:51

   A second marriage at 75: Ukraine, matchmaking agencies, and 51 dates in two weeks

   1. YSYakov Smirnoff33:12

      Yes. Yeah, and I don't know if you have a picture of my, my wife and, and the kids, and the kid. Now, now I'm 75 and I have a one-year-old.

   2. JRJoe Rogan33:21

      What?

   3. YSYakov Smirnoff33:21

      Yes. I am to-

   4. JRJoe Rogan33:23

      When did you get married? How long did you-

   5. YSYakov Smirnoff33:25

      Seven, seven years ago. So this, uh, means-

   6. JRJoe Rogan33:27

      So you spent, like, 20 years single.

   7. YSYakov Smirnoff33:29

      Yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan33:29

      Just trying to figure yourself out.

   9. YSYakov Smirnoff33:31

      Yeah. Yes.

   10. JRJoe Rogan33:31

       Damn, man.

   11. YSYakov Smirnoff33:31

       Yes.

   12. JRJoe Rogan33:32

       You went on a walk through the wilderness.

   13. YSYakov Smirnoff33:33

       I went to Tony Robbins', uh-

   14. JRJoe Rogan33:35

       What?

   15. YSYakov Smirnoff33:35

       Yeah, all of his-

   16. JRJoe Rogan33:36

       [laughs]

   17. YSYakov Smirnoff33:37

       ... trainings. I mean, I needed to become... I wasn't that strong person. I was more like my dad, and I needed to become who I wanted to be. I wanted a woman to trust me that I can sustain no matter what. Um, and I have a feeling, there's my wife and-

   18. JRJoe Rogan33:57

       Did you meet your wife in Missouri?

   19. YSYakov Smirnoff33:59

       No, uh, she is from Ukraine. Uh, that's an interesting-

   20. JRJoe Rogan34:04

       You have a one-year-old? Dude, it's time to get you on some peptides.

   21. YSYakov Smirnoff34:06

       [laughs]

   22. JRJoe Rogan34:07

       All right? We gotta... That's crazy. You're 75, you have a one-year-old?

   23. YSYakov Smirnoff34:10

       I do. I, we-

   24. JRJoe Rogan34:11

       Like, we, we gotta go to work on you.

   25. YSYakov Smirnoff34:12

       [laughs]

   26. JRJoe Rogan34:13

       We gotta keep you alive.

   27. YSYakov Smirnoff34:14

       [laughs]

   28. JRJoe Rogan34:15

       That's, that's nuts.

   29. YSYakov Smirnoff34:16

       Uh, it's, it's wonderful. I, uh-

   30. JRJoe Rogan34:18

       You're almost 20 years older than me and you have a one-year-old. That's crazy.
7. 41:51 – 46:43

   Starting stand-up under Soviet control: approved comedians, propaganda speakers, and Arkady Raikin

   1. JRJoe Rogan41:51

      Got it. Got it. Well, the, it's, like, what was it like starting out doing standup in the Soviet Union? That's where you started, right?

   2. YSYakov Smirnoff41:59

      Yeah, I did.

   3. JRJoe Rogan41:59

      How old were you?

   4. YSYakov Smirnoff42:00

      I was 15.

   5. JRJoe Rogan42:02

      And what is it like over there when you're 15? Is there, like, a t- a version of The Tonight Show in Russia?

   6. YSYakov Smirnoff42:08

      Well, no. It's a lot, uh, at those days, you know, uh, it was very structured, very Communist Party controlled. So there was only, like, two comedians in the whole country that were government approved. So they, they would be on the radio, on television, and nobody else was really doing comedy. So-

   7. JRJoe Rogan42:35

      What were the comedians like? Do, uh, for, for someone-

   8. YSYakov Smirnoff42:38

      More, more like Vaudeville kind-

   9. JRJoe Rogan42:39

      What were their names?

   10. YSYakov Smirnoff42:40

       Uh, Arca- Arkady Raikin. Uh, you could probably Google him. Arkady Raikin, he was the main guy that I would listen to. And in each, each r- um, apartment there would be a little speaker that would be on all the time so they could brainwash you

   11. JRJoe Rogan43:00

       Oh.

   12. YSYakov Smirnoff43:00

       Yeah. [laughs]

   13. JRJoe Rogan43:01

       You had a speaker in your apartment all the time.

   14. YSYakov Smirnoff43:04

       Yeah, yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan43:05

       Wow.

   16. YSYakov Smirnoff43:06

       Yeah, yeah. So, so, so but then on Sunday mornings-

   17. JRJoe Rogan43:11

       This is, uh, this is what '66?

   18. YSYakov Smirnoff43:13

       Uh, yeah, yeah. I have 50 watts, so yeah, yeah, that's about that time. Yeah, that was the guy, yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan43:22

       Wow.

   20. YSYakov Smirnoff43:23

       Very, very-

   21. JRJoe Rogan43:23

       That was the guy

   22. YSYakov Smirnoff43:24

       ... very famous. Uh, w- the only people from America that we saw were Charlie Chaplin, and that's it. So-

   23. JRJoe Rogan43:32

       Just Charlie Chaplin?

   24. YSYakov Smirnoff43:33

       Charlie Chaplin.

   25. JRJoe Rogan43:34

       So you thought America was just silent movies? [laughs]

   26. YSYakov Smirnoff43:36

       Well, they, they, uh, uh, they portrayed it-

   27. JRJoe Rogan43:39

       Oh, he even had a Cha- he did a Charlie Chaplin impersonation.

   28. YSYakov Smirnoff43:42

       Uh-huh. Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan43:43

       Wow.

   30. YSYakov Smirnoff43:44

       Yeah, yeah. So, uh, so I would-
8. 46:43 – 52:52

   Cruise ships, foreigners, and the first glimpse of capitalism’s incentives

   1. YSYakov Smirnoff46:43

      And here, all of the sudden, I'm introduced to this, uh, so, uh, tourists from other countries would take those cruises around Black Sea. And all of the sudden, I'm introduced to this group of people that I was not allowed to talk to, foreigners. We were not allowed to even communicate.

   2. JRJoe Rogan47:03

      Where, what countries were they from?

   3. YSYakov Smirnoff47:05

      Uh, Germany, uh, Britain, some Americans, some Australians, uh, Yugoslavians, uh, whatever, from, uh, Soviet bloc. And-

   4. JRJoe Rogan47:18

      And was, who was the president of, or the ... What-

   5. YSYakov Smirnoff47:22

      B- Brezhnev. Brezhnev was-

   6. JRJoe Rogan47:23

      Brezhnev

   7. YSYakov Smirnoff47:23

      ... the president at that time, yeah. And so I started, uh, so I did one week of performances, and, um, and then, uh, they said, "Would you like to stay on board?" And I said, um, I, I, I said, "Can, can I bring my parents with me? Can, can we give us another cabin for them?" And they said, "No, you don't get any special privileges. We have hundreds of people like you. Get out." And I, I was like, "Okay." So I left. And, um, uh, t- a couple of hours later, a messenger comes. We have no phones, so it's like messenger comes and brings two sets of, um, sets of tickets for me and my parents. And I never heard that it's even possible, like, that they would go back on their word. So I go on the cruise, and, um, the, and the, uh, I go to a cruise director. I said, "What, what happened?" And he said, "Well, here's what happened. Uh, these ships normally are rented to European companies for, like, nine months out of the year. And we learned from them that if somebody is valuable, we give them more, uh, perks. Um, the captain liked your performance, and he told them, the company, that even if you have to give him my own cabin, I want him on the ship." And the light bulb went in my head. I said, "Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Are you saying that in capitalistic world, if you're more talented, you get more things?" And they go, "Yeah." That was, it's hard to imagine. It was like, changed my life. It was-

   8. JRJoe Rogan49:14

      Well, it's hard to imagine for people that didn't grow up in the environment that you grew up, with a speaker in your apartment.

   9. YSYakov Smirnoff49:20

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan49:20

       Like, just you saying that to me, my mind is rattled. I was like, oh my God. Like, they could just broadcast in your apartment anytime they wanted.

   11. YSYakov Smirnoff49:28

       Yeah, yeah. And-

   12. JRJoe Rogan49:29

       What a great way to brainwash people

   13. YSYakov Smirnoff49:31

       ... and, uh, they would jam, like, uh, because we had the big radio, and they would jam Voice of America. Uh, but my dad would c- wake up, like in the middle of the night. He was wanting to know what's happening out there, and he would sit there and listen to that quietly. And I remember as a kid, I asked, "Dad, what are you listening to in the middle of the night?" And he goes, "Shh, don't let neighbors hear us. This is Voice of America. We're not allowed to listen to it."

   14. JRJoe Rogan50:04

       Wow.

   15. YSYakov Smirnoff50:05

       Yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan50:05

       So you had to keep it secret?

   17. YSYakov Smirnoff50:06

       Yeah, but at nighttime they would-

   18. JRJoe Rogan50:08

       How did he listen to it?

   19. YSYakov Smirnoff50:09

       Just quiet, just sat there and-

   20. JRJoe Rogan50:11

       Right, but if they jammed it, how did he listen to it?

   21. YSYakov Smirnoff50:13

       No, uh, they would jam it during the day.

   22. JRJoe Rogan50:15

       Oh.

   23. YSYakov Smirnoff50:16

       But at nighttime they didn't think anybody would wake up at 3:00 in the morning and sit there and listen to it.

   24. JRJoe Rogan50:21

       How do they jam it?

   25. YSYakov Smirnoff50:23

       It just, just bshhh, I don't know, some kind of a-

   26. JRJoe Rogan50:26

       [laughs] How does he say that again?

   27. YSYakov Smirnoff50:27

       Yeah, bshhh. I don't know. [laughs]

   28. JRJoe Rogan50:30

       [laughs] So they had some way to jam that signal-

   29. YSYakov Smirnoff50:32

       Yeah. Oh, yeah

   30. JRJoe Rogan50:32

       ... whatever signal was on.
9. 52:52 – 58:05

   Escaping the USSR: Carter-era visa openings, Italy limbo, and condom-hustle survival

   1. JRJoe Rogan52:52

      And that's all you had to do is apply for a visa?

   2. YSYakov Smirnoff52:54

      Well, what was happening at that time, uh, Jimmy Carter was the president here, and he wanted to, uh, see some human rights in the Soviet Union, and, and the Soviet leadership was, they were starving. They didn't have, uh, food. Uh, so they needed food from America. So Jimmy Carter made the deal that we're, we're gonna give you grain, and you allow people to get out.

   3. JRJoe Rogan53:24

      Wow.

   4. YSYakov Smirnoff53:24

      And that's how we c- we were kinda exchanged for some wheat, you know?

   5. JRJoe Rogan53:30

      Wow.

   6. YSYakov Smirnoff53:30

      That's how we got out.

   7. JRJoe Rogan53:31

      Wow. Holy shit, man.

   8. YSYakov Smirnoff53:34

      Yeah, yeah. [laughs]

   9. JRJoe Rogan53:36

      Just, you, um, sometimes need to be reminded how fortunate you are. You know, Americans in particular, we're very, uh... You know, it's not our fault. You know, people become accustomed to-

   10. YSYakov Smirnoff53:49

       Yeah

   11. JRJoe Rogan53:49

       ... where they live.

   12. YSYakov Smirnoff53:50

       Yeah, yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan53:51

       And they think this is normal, m- which is one of the reasons why this, uh, push towards communism amongst young people is so infuriating to me. It's like I d- I understand that it comes from this desire for empathy and kindness. I get that. The idea of socialism comes from an idea of empathy and kindness, that you want, you think the world would be better if we all shared, and that why are there's people that are so rich and people that are so poor? And you're right. Uh, but the solution is not-

   14. YSYakov Smirnoff54:21

       No

   15. JRJoe Rogan54:21

       ... to make the government decide who gets what.

   16. YSYakov Smirnoff54:23

       Right.

   17. JRJoe Rogan54:23

       'Cause they never decide the right way.

   18. YSYakov Smirnoff54:25

       Right.

   19. JRJoe Rogan54:26

       They, they do what people do. What people do when they have power is they enact total control-

   20. YSYakov Smirnoff54:31

       Right

   21. JRJoe Rogan54:31

       ... over the population so that they can maintain power. And then they live in luxury, and then you wait in line for bread.

   22. YSYakov Smirnoff54:37

       Right.

   23. JRJoe Rogan54:37

       And that's how it is all over the fucking world.

   24. YSYakov Smirnoff54:39

       Right.

   25. JRJoe Rogan54:39

       And if you step out of line, they shoot you.

   26. YSYakov Smirnoff54:40

       Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan54:41

       That's where communism goes.

   28. YSYakov Smirnoff54:43

       Right.

   29. JRJoe Rogan54:43

       So what we need is, like, a more, a more moral and ethical version of capitalism So we need capitalism, but with empathy. Capitalism, but with philanthropy.

   30. YSYakov Smirnoff54:54

       Right, right.
10. 58:05 – 1:05:03

    First American jobs & learning English through jokes (Catskills era)

    1. YSYakov Smirnoff58:05

       But, uh, I was a, a bartender, a bar boy at first when I came here, and I, my first job was a bar boy in the Grossinger's Hotel, uh, in the Catskills. And-

    2. JRJoe Rogan58:18

       Oh, wow.

    3. YSYakov Smirnoff58:19

       Yeah. And, and-

    4. JRJoe Rogan58:20

       What year was this?

    5. YSYakov Smirnoff58:21

       '77.

    6. JRJoe Rogan58:22

       Who'd you get to see perform there?

    7. YSYakov Smirnoff58:23

       Oh, Freddie Roman.

    8. JRJoe Rogan58:25

       Wow.

    9. YSYakov Smirnoff58:26

       Uh, Eddie Fisher.

    10. JRJoe Rogan58:28

        Wow.

    11. YSYakov Smirnoff58:28

        Yeah, yeah, yeah, a lot of-

    12. JRJoe Rogan58:30

        Freddie Roman, old school, baby.

    13. YSYakov Smirnoff58:31

        Yeah, old school. I was learning-

    14. JRJoe Rogan58:32

        Red Skelton, did you see those guys?

    15. YSYakov Smirnoff58:34

        Uh-huh, I did, uh, later, later in ve- in Atlantic City, but yeah. Yeah, I, I was learning English. Uh, I was, um, learning about Chappaquiddick or-

    16. JRJoe Rogan58:47

        Yeah

    17. YSYakov Smirnoff58:47

        ... stuff like that.

    18. JRJoe Rogan58:48

        Yeah.

    19. YSYakov Smirnoff58:48

        I was like, "What, what is that?" You know? So I was, I was definitely learning English, uh, there. Uh-

    20. JRJoe Rogan58:55

        Have you ever seen the television show on Amazon, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel?

    21. YSYakov Smirnoff59:00

        Mm-mm.

    22. JRJoe Rogan59:00

        It's really good, man.

    23. YSYakov Smirnoff59:02

        Is it?

    24. JRJoe Rogan59:02

        Yeah, the first scene, uh, the first season rather, is incredible. It's about a, a young woman-

    25. YSYakov Smirnoff59:08

        Uh-huh

    26. JRJoe Rogan59:08

        ... who's married and decides to become a stand-up comedian.

    27. YSYakov Smirnoff59:13

        Okay.

    28. JRJoe Rogan59:13

        Like, she's married with kids, the whole deal, and she decides to do stand-up, and p- part of sh- what she does, she does some stand-up, like, in the Catskills.

    29. YSYakov Smirnoff59:21

        Interesting.

    30. JRJoe Rogan59:22

        And they're like, that is... For people that don't know stand-up, there's, like, stand-up comedy as an art form is a very new art form.
11. 1:05:03 – 1:34:40

    The Comedy Store break: Mitzi Shore’s belief, Carson barrier, and the Miller Lite turning point

    1. YSYakov Smirnoff1:05:03

       And then I would ask pe- uh, the guy, I asked the guy who was, uh, uh, the manager of the main room, uh, uh, Barry Wise his name, and he, I asked him, uh, if I could try my comedy. And-

    2. JRJoe Rogan1:05:20

       [laughs]

    3. YSYakov Smirnoff1:05:23

       And he said, "No, you can't do it in this room, but in the lobby, uh, in afternoons they have a game with older people, Simon Says. And, uh, uh, the, the guy who, master of ceremonies there, uh, will probably let you do a f- couple of minutes of stand-up." So I did. I, I walked on stage and I, uh, it's a little stage in the lobby and I'm, I'm telling couple of jokes, and some woman in the back started, uh, I thought she was laughing. It was like, "Ha, ha, ha." She had seizures. And, and I didn't know, and I'm thinking I'm doing well.

    4. JRJoe Rogan1:06:11

       Blah.

    5. YSYakov Smirnoff1:06:11

       And they're getting her on a gurney out of there, and people coming over and saying, "You were killing, you were killing." I'm going, "No, no, I wasn't killing." The whole thing was, but at least I told couple of jokes, and that gave me some confidence. And then I, uh, did couple of shows in, uh, Catch a Rising Star, which wasn't very good, uh, for me. And-

    6. JRJoe Rogan1:06:37

       In New York?

    7. YSYakov Smirnoff1:06:38

       In New York, yeah. And then, and then I was working as a shipping manager in a company c- called Greeting Bells, and just to make some money. And the lady said, uh- I know somebody in Hollywood, um, uh, his name is Ted Bergman. He's the producer, executive producer of Three's Company, which was a huge show at that time.

    8. JRJoe Rogan1:07:05

       Sure.

    9. YSYakov Smirnoff1:07:05

       He said, "If you go to Hollywood, I can arrange a meeting." And I, I, I said, "Okay, I'll go." So I had a plan. I, I bought a ticket, uh, for 10 days to go to Hollywood, uh, become a star, and then come back to New York and buy Fifth Avenue apartment for my parents. That was my desire, which is crazy, right? But I go, "Okay, he's an executive producer of Three's Company. He'll put me in the show. I'll become a star right away."

    10. JRJoe Rogan1:07:40

        [laughs]

    11. YSYakov Smirnoff1:07:40

        It ... [laughs] I know. It's, it's crazy, right? But I, I really was that naive, right? So I go there, and Ted Bergman says, "I would like to see you perform." So I need to find a spot, and I go to The Comedy Store, and I get on the, uh, open mic list. And, uh, and then the m- message comes, um, that he is not gonna make it. But I'm already committed, so I'm doing my five minutes. And, and I'm bummed because now it's day four, and I'm not even close to getting a, a, a television show. So I'm walking away, and I'm on, on Sunset, and this, uh, girl, Chrissy is her name, was Mitzi's secretary at that time, and she runs after me, and she goes, "Yakov, Yakov, congratulations." And I go, "Why? I mean, the guy didn't show up." And she goes, "No, no, no, no, no. Mitzi liked you." And I go, "Who, who is Mitzi?"

    12. JRJoe Rogan1:08:51

        [laughs]

    13. YSYakov Smirnoff1:08:52

        [laughs] I know, I know. It's silly to sit in front of her portrait. And she goes, "She owns The Comedy Store. Go talk to her." So I go sit down, uh, next to her in that booth that is next to, uh-

    14. JRJoe Rogan1:09:07

        Yeah, sure

    15. YSYakov Smirnoff1:09:07

        ... uh, the original room. And I have no idea who I'm talking to, but ... And she says, "You were very funny. Stay in Los Angeles. There is always place for good and different." And I'm, again, I'm like, "Okay." I said, "I, I, I'm sorry, but I, you know, I have parents in, in LA, in, uh, in, uh, uh, uh, New York, and I need to go back because I, they rely on me." And she goes, "So what does your dad do?" And I go, "He's a building construction engineer." And she goes, "Can he be c- a, a carpenter?" And I go, "I think so." And she goes, "Okay. Why don't you bring him here? I'll give him a job."

    16. JRJoe Rogan1:10:05

        I like your Mitzi impression.

    17. YSYakov Smirnoff1:10:06

        Uh-

    18. JRJoe Rogan1:10:06

        It's pretty close.

    19. YSYakov Smirnoff1:10:07

        [laughs] And, and she s- she goes, "And where do you live?" And I go-

    20. JRJoe Rogan1:10:13

        [laughs]

    21. YSYakov Smirnoff1:10:15

        ... [laughs] "I, I am staying with some friends." She goes, "I have a house up the hill, and you can rent a room for $120 a, a month if you want to."

    22. JRJoe Rogan1:10:26

        That was, uh, Crest Hill?

    23. YSYakov Smirnoff1:10:27

        Crest Hill, yeah.

    24. JRJoe Rogan1:10:28

        Yeah.

    25. YSYakov Smirnoff1:10:30

        So I, I, I still don't know, again, who I'm talking to. Uh, and she goes, "And, and come back tomorrow and watch a regular show."

    26. JRJoe Rogan1:10:40

        [laughs]

    27. YSYakov Smirnoff1:10:41

        So I come back.

    28. JRJoe Rogan1:10:43

        How old are you at this time?

    29. YSYakov Smirnoff1:10:44

        I'm 26, 26, 27 now. Yeah. So I go in next day, and I sit in the back. And first person, uh, that Harry Speed, you probably remember him.

    30. JRJoe Rogan1:10:58

        Sure.
12. 1:34:40 – 1:45:34

    Kill Tony revival, touring again, and clean comedy’s cross-generational power

    1. JRJoe Rogan1:34:40

       There's been the three different versions of Fear Factor now. You know, there's like, now they're doing it with Johnny Knoxville. Uh, it's, uh, kinda crazy, like, the amount of different things that have happened in your life, you know? And then now to find yourself with another revival because of Kill Tony.

    2. YSYakov Smirnoff1:34:57

       Yes.

    3. JRJoe Rogan1:34:57

       Like-

    4. YSYakov Smirnoff1:34:58

       Yes. And, and going back on tour, I have a, I have a poster, I don't know if, uh, people on the radio can't see it.

    5. JRJoe Rogan1:35:04

       [laughs]

    6. YSYakov Smirnoff1:35:05

       But I have a poster of, of my tour.

    7. JRJoe Rogan1:35:08

       Well, we'll, that's, we'll send it to the website so you have to look at a picture.

    8. YSYakov Smirnoff1:35:10

       Yeah, so I am, I'm excited.

    9. JRJoe Rogan1:35:12

       You'll be on tour again.

    10. YSYakov Smirnoff1:35:13

        My-

    11. JRJoe Rogan1:35:13

        And where are you going, to comedy clubs?

    12. YSYakov Smirnoff1:35:15

        Yeah.

    13. JRJoe Rogan1:35:15

        All over the place?

    14. YSYakov Smirnoff1:35:16

        Yeah, yeah. Uh, uh-

    15. JRJoe Rogan1:35:17

        Oh, that's-

    16. YSYakov Smirnoff1:35:17

        ... Atlanta is the next one.

    17. JRJoe Rogan1:35:19

        No one can read that.

    18. YSYakov Smirnoff1:35:19

        Oh, okay. [laughs]

    19. JRJoe Rogan1:35:20

        Yeah, put that down. They'll, they'll, they'll go to the website. Jamie'll pull up the website. [laughs]

    20. YSYakov Smirnoff1:35:24

        Yeah.

    21. JRJoe Rogan1:35:24

        You got Bronson-

    22. YSYakov Smirnoff1:35:25

        And it's on yakov.com, yeah

    23. JRJoe Rogan1:35:27

        ... Yakov Bronson.

    24. YSYakov Smirnoff1:35:28

        Yeah.

    25. JRJoe Rogan1:35:29

        That's hilarious, man. So what was the Kill Tony experience like?

    26. YSYakov Smirnoff1:35:32

        It was great. I mean, I am, um, [laughs] obviously my sh- my, my show is kind of, uh, G- uh, G-rated, and so, uh, Kill Tony is not. And, uh, so, but yet it was-

    27. JRJoe Rogan1:35:49

        It doesn't matter

    28. YSYakov Smirnoff1:35:49

        ... it doesn't matter.

    29. JRJoe Rogan1:35:50

        It doesn't matter.

    30. YSYakov Smirnoff1:35:51

        He, he was so respectful of, of this, uh, t- uh, Tony, and set me up, you know. I mean, I, I felt like my head was this big, and, um, he was seeing me as a super legend and, and I am, I'm very grateful. It's hard for me sometimes to accept that, that people see me, because I've been doing this for 60 years. 60 years comedy. That's-
13. 1:45:34 – 1:52:33

    Crest Hill chaos: Dice Clay as an English teacher, Kinison’s origin moment, and Comedy Store house lore

    1. YSYakov Smirnoff1:45:34

       I mean, I, I could not. I, I mean, honestly, it was, it was... I, I'll tell you how naive I was. Uh, so Mitzi gives me that work, right, up, um, and I live in that house, and Andrew Dice Clay moves into that house, right?

    2. JRJoe Rogan1:45:50

       [laughs]

    3. YSYakov Smirnoff1:45:51

       And Andrew teaches me English, okay?

    4. JRJoe Rogan1:45:54

       [laughs]

    5. YSYakov Smirnoff1:45:54

       Can you imagine that?

    6. JRJoe Rogan1:45:55

       Ugh.

    7. YSYakov Smirnoff1:45:56

       Robbie Dob-dob.

    8. JRJoe Rogan1:45:57

       [laughs]

    9. YSYakov Smirnoff1:45:59

       And so, but, but that was a party house. I mean, this was a house where, uh-

    10. JRJoe Rogan1:46:05

        Was Kinison living there then?

    11. YSYakov Smirnoff1:46:06

        Kinison would just hang out there all the time. And, uh, they would scream at each other, Andrew and, uh, uh, and, uh, Kinison. And, and that was just kind of a joke between those two, and they'd go, "Ah, ah." And I would have to go to bed because I gotta get up early in the morning to go work, and those guys are screaming at each other, uh, just for fun.

    12. JRJoe Rogan1:46:33

        Mm.

    13. YSYakov Smirnoff1:46:33

        And I go downstairs, and I go, "Hey, guys. You're friends. Stop." So I'm- we're playing this joke, and they're, "Yeah, ooh," screaming. And I go, "You know what? Why don't you... You're close to The Comedy Store. Why don't you go downstairs and scream there?" And they look at each other and go, "Okay. Let's go." So it's midnight, and we're all going, whoever lived there, going to The Comedy Store, and Sam gets on stage and starts screaming. This is the first time that he ever got on stage, and he went to the... And, uh, very few people in the audience. And he went into their face, "Ah, you stupid."

    14. JRJoe Rogan1:47:19

        No way.

    15. YSYakov Smirnoff1:47:20

        Yeah.

    16. JRJoe Rogan1:47:20

        That's where it came from?

    17. YSYakov Smirnoff1:47:22

        That's where it came from.

    18. JRJoe Rogan1:47:23

        Whoa.

    19. YSYakov Smirnoff1:47:23

        And then after that, it just became, like his, his thing, and y- the rest is history.

    20. JRJoe Rogan1:47:30

        That's crazy.

    21. YSYakov Smirnoff1:47:31

        Yeah. That was, that was happening there. A lot of stuff was happening there. They would come and do drugs, you know, like, uh-

    22. JRJoe Rogan1:47:41

        [laughs]

    23. YSYakov Smirnoff1:47:41

        ... Robin and Richard, Richard Pryor, they would do... And I... Tells you this is silly, but I would wake up in the morning, and I would see a mirror on the table, right?

    24. JRJoe Rogan1:47:56

        [laughs]

    25. YSYakov Smirnoff1:47:56

        Okay? So bear with me. So... And there's, like, white powder on the table.

    26. JRJoe Rogan1:48:02

        So you'd clean it up.

    27. YSYakov Smirnoff1:48:03

        I was thinking they're eating donuts off the mirror. So I would clean whatever it was-

    28. JRJoe Rogan1:48:10

        [laughs]

    29. YSYakov Smirnoff1:48:10

        ... hang it up, and next morning I go, "Argus, why don't you guys use plates? You have a dishwasher. Why..." And they would laugh at me, and they wouldn't tell me what's going on.

    30. JRJoe Rogan1:48:23

        But weren't they mad that you threw away their coke?
14. 1:52:33 – 2:24:26

    Rogan’s Comedy Store journey, Mitzi’s legacy, and closing plans (set tonight + tour info)

    1. JRJoe Rogan1:52:33

       This is very interesting. And then when I started out in '88, boy, the guys in Boston used to talk about The Comedy Store like it was Mecca. Like, you had to go there. You had to go to The Store. The Store was where Richard Pryor started, and Sam Kinison-

    2. YSYakov Smirnoff1:52:51

       Right

    3. JRJoe Rogan1:52:51

       ... and all the, all these comics. And David Letterman. They all made... They all came out of The Store. Bill Hicks, the-

    4. YSYakov Smirnoff1:52:56

       Yes

    5. JRJoe Rogan1:52:56

       ... you know, he was a doorman at The Store.

    6. YSYakov Smirnoff1:52:58

       Yes. Yes.

    7. JRJoe Rogan1:52:58

       And everybody talked about The Store. It was one of those things where it was like, you know, you had to go there. And then, uh, when I first maybe, uh, got on a television show, I flew out to LA to do a pilot, and that was the first time I ever went to The Store, and I remember being so weirded out just being in the building. Like, wow, I can't believe I'm at The Comedy Store.

    8. YSYakov Smirnoff1:53:19

       Now, when you, when did you meet Mitzi?

    9. JRJoe Rogan1:53:22

       I met Mitzi in '94.

    10. YSYakov Smirnoff1:53:24

        Mm-hmm.

    11. JRJoe Rogan1:53:24

        So I did the pilot. The pilot would end up getting picked up. And then I came out, and I was on a TV show that, it wa- it only lasted like six episodes. It was called Hardball. It was a sitcom about a baseball team.

    12. YSYakov Smirnoff1:53:36

        Uh-huh.

    13. JRJoe Rogan1:53:37

        And I played the star player. I played this crazy dude who was always crashing his Lamborghini and his... That, that kind of shit, you know? And so, um, I would spend my nights every night at The Store. I didn't have any friends, and I didn't know anybody there. So I just would just go to the set, and then after the set I'd go hang out at The Store. And then I eventually, uh, Mitzi, uh, showcased me. I got, uh, became a non-paid regular.

    14. YSYakov Smirnoff1:54:02

        Mm-hmm.

    15. JRJoe Rogan1:54:02

        So I got to go on-

    16. YSYakov Smirnoff1:54:03

        Right

    17. JRJoe Rogan1:54:03

        ... after the comedians performed.

    18. YSYakov Smirnoff1:54:04

        Right.

    19. JRJoe Rogan1:54:05

        So the way it worked at The Comedy Store, they'd have a show that was scheduled from like 8:00 PM to like 1:00 AM or close to it, and then aft- it was probably like really midnight, but it always was like 1:00 AM-

    20. YSYakov Smirnoff1:54:16

        Right. Right

    21. JRJoe Rogan1:54:16

        ... by the time I got on.

    22. YSYakov Smirnoff1:54:17

        Right.

    23. JRJoe Rogan1:54:18

        And then I would go on after everybody else.

    24. YSYakov Smirnoff1:54:20

        Yeah.

    25. JRJoe Rogan1:54:20

        And I did that for a few months. And then she passed me, and I remember thinking like when, when she passed me, like, I was like, "Oh, no, I, I think I could be a comedian now. Like, this is... I actually can make a living doing this." 'Cause before then I wasn't sure.

    26. YSYakov Smirnoff1:54:34

        Right. Right.

    27. JRJoe Rogan1:54:35

        Even though I was getting paid-

    28. YSYakov Smirnoff1:54:36

        Right

    29. JRJoe Rogan1:54:36

        ... and I would do comedy, I'd get paid to do comedy-

    30. YSYakov Smirnoff1:54:38

        Yeah

Episode duration: 2:24:26