Joe Rogan Experience #2557 - Yakov Smirnoff

Joe Rogan 0:00 [upbeat music]

Joe Rogan 0:02 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night. All day. [upbeat music] Let's go, Yakov. What's happening, baby?

Yakov Smirnoff 0:14 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 0:14 How are you?

Yakov Smirnoff 0:15 I'm doing great.

Joe Rogan 0:15 Good to see you.

Yakov Smirnoff 0:16 Nice to see you.

Joe Rogan 0:18 I know, Jamie's snuckin' up on us. Bam, just turn on.

Yakov Smirnoff 0:20 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 0:21 Bam.

Yakov Smirnoff 0:22 That way you don't have a chance to freak out.

Joe Rogan 0:24 Yeah. [laughs] Thank you.

Yakov Smirnoff 0:25 Um, what's in the bag?

Joe Rogan 0:26 Oh.

Yakov Smirnoff 0:26 What do you got in there?

Joe Rogan 0:27 Okay. So there are a couple of things. Uh-

Yakov Smirnoff 0:29 Oh, couple things

Joe Rogan 0:30 ... one, yeah, one is, uh, it's a mu- mural, piece of the mural that I painted at the Ground Zero, and I thought it would be interesting for you to have. You painted a mural at Ground Zero?

Yakov Smirnoff 0:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:44 Oh, wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 0:44 Yeah. So that, that was something, and I actually sent them, uh, Paul Harvey did the, um, uh, the rest of the story about that, and I, I sent them a video if they wanted to-

Joe Rogan 0:57 Yeah, I don't know if we could play that, unfortunately.

Yakov Smirnoff 0:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:59 I think it's got, like, a copyright to it.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:02 Actually, I was in touch-

Joe Rogan 1:03 We've been told. Jamie, Jess, isn't that what they said? It'd be tough. Yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:07 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:08 With the sound there.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:08 And-

Joe Rogan 1:08 So there's the mural. There's a photo of the mural.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:11 Right, right. And, uh, it was, uh, I was in touch with Paul Harvey Jr., asking if that would be okay, and they said it's fine, and they'll send you-

Joe Rogan 1:21 Yeah, but I don't think they own it, you know what I'm saying?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:24 They own his voice, so.

Joe Rogan 1:27 Right, but it's probably, if it's on Paul Harvey's television show, right?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:31 No, no, no.

Joe Rogan 1:32 A radio show.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:32 It was a radio, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:33 Right, if it's on a Paul Harvey's radio show, it's-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:35 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:35 ... probably copywritten. Did we have a problem when we played the Taylor Sheridan one? Remember we played that whole thing? I, it's just, yeah, I would, it- It's just an issue? It's an issue.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:45 It's an issue.

Joe Rogan 1:45 Don't sweat it.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:46 We don't want to-

Joe Rogan 1:46 So anyway, you had a mural.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:48 Yeah. That's, that's, and, and-

Joe Rogan 1:50 There was a couple of other little paraphernalia-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:53 You gotta talk into the microphone. Sorry.

Joe Rogan 1:55 That's all right.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:56 You can wear headphones if you want.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:57 I will.

Joe Rogan 1:57 That way you can hear yourself.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:58 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:59 You don't have to, but-

Yakov Smirnoff 2:00 This is, this is real. This is-

Joe Rogan 2:02 This is real.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:02 What do you mean?

Yakov Smirnoff 2:03 No, like, I watch you, and I'm in such in awe of what you were able to, your, your career, your trajectory, how you were able to sustain that longevity and then transition to this amazing voice. Um, it's just, it's been a- an honor, uh, to know you and be here, so I'm, I'm a little nervous.

Joe Rogan 2:30 Well, don't be nervous. Uh, 'cause listen, it's all just dumb luck.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:33 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 2:34 There's a, a giant percentage of it that's dumb luck. That's a fact. I mean, I'm very persistent. That helps. But, uh, this thing, this, b- b- the podcast is, a lot of it is luck. You know how people, like, talk about, like, having a vision board? "Oh, I had a vision board. I imagined..." And people say that to me all the time, like, "I'm sure you did that with this show." I'm like, "Eh."

Yakov Smirnoff 2:52 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 2:53 I didn't do anything of the sort. I just kept doing it, and it got big.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:56 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 2:57 But it's, uh, just t- people talking, simple. Just like you and I talk in the green room.

Yakov Smirnoff 3:01 Yes. Yes.

Joe Rogan 3:01 We're talking here.

Yakov Smirnoff 3:02 Yes.

Joe Rogan 3:03 It's no big deal. It's just a bunch of people get to listen to us.

Yakov Smirnoff 3:05 Yes. Yes, yes.

Joe Rogan 3:06 It's nothing that spectacular.

Yakov Smirnoff 3:08 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 3:09 [laughs] The spectacular thing is my guests. That's the fortunate thing. I'm the fortunate one-

Yakov Smirnoff 3:13 No

Joe Rogan 3:13 ... 'cause I get to talk to so many cool people. Look at you with your fucking American flag on your, on your, uh, phone cover.

Yakov Smirnoff 3:20 I, yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:20 Look at that.

Yakov Smirnoff 3:20 I, uh-

Joe Rogan 3:21 Don't get s- fooled by the accent, ladies-

Yakov Smirnoff 3:23 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 3:24 ... and gentlemen. Um, you know, we were talking about your story in the green room, and I was like, "We have to do a podcast."

Yakov Smirnoff 3:30 Mm.

Joe Rogan 3:30 Because your s- your story is so crazy how when the wall fell, so did your career.

Yakov Smirnoff 3:36 Yes.

Joe Rogan 3:36 Like, you had this massive career. I remember you from The Tonight Show.

Yakov Smirnoff 3:40 Yes.

Joe Rogan 3:40 I, I remember you all the time.

Yakov Smirnoff 3:42 Yes.

Joe Rogan 3:42 You know? "In Russia," you always had those jokes-

Yakov Smirnoff 3:44 Yes

Joe Rogan 3:44 ... about in Russia.

Yakov Smirnoff 3:44 Yes.

Joe Rogan 3:45 And it was great, because-

Yakov Smirnoff 3:46 Yeah

Joe Rogan 3:46 ... like, you were a Russian comedian doing standup in the United States.

Yakov Smirnoff 3:50 Yes.

Joe Rogan 3:51 And then once, once the Soviet Union fell.

Yakov Smirnoff 3:55 Yes. The, Letterman, uh, David Letterman had a top 10 list of, uh, things that will now change that the Soviet Union's no longer there, and I made number one on the list, "Yakov Smirnoff will be out of work."

Joe Rogan 4:09 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 4:10 And I thought it was humorous, because I was living in Pacific Palisades next to Tom Hanks and Arnold Schwarzenegger. I mean, I thought American dream will never end, and all of a sudden it, it, six months later, none of my contracts in Las Vegas, Atlantic City, Reno, Tahoe, none of them were renewed. And I could not find work, literally. I mean, I tried back to clubs, and they wouldn't have me either.

Joe Rogan 4:40 What?

Yakov Smirnoff 4:41 Yeah. It was, um, the comparison, uh, uh, there was, uh, Van Meter, uh, that was a impersonator of John F. Kennedy. Um, he was, um, um, an, an impersonator, was very popular at that time. And then after the assassinat- uh, assassination, his career went nowhere right away. And so somewhat in, in some ways it was similar to that, that, uh, I was associated with the Soviet Union, and my humor was associated with that, and it was helping, I was helping, um, President Reagan write, uh, jokes for his speeches for when he would go to Moscow. Um, uh, you have a picture somewhere, Jamie, of... I, I mean, it was amazing. All of a sudden I was like a joke supplier for the White House, and, uh, it was, uh, uh, my career was just growing higher and higher, and all of a sudden it was gone. And I wasn't-

Joe Rogan 5:53 That doesn't make any sense. I mean, you still had great jokes.

Yakov Smirnoff 5:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:58 And I'm sure people still wanted to see you That's what didn't make any sense

Yakov Smirnoff 6:02 It wasn't, I guess I wasn't relevant because they associated me so much with that. And so I started, after not having work, uh, and not be able to pay mortgage, I start looking for a place where they did not know that the Soviet Union collapsed.

Joe Rogan 6:23 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 6:24 And I ended up in Branson, Missouri. I joke about this in my show, but it's was a blessing in disguise because I was, all of a sudden, my fa- uh, my humor was family-friendly, and this town is very much like that, and they embraced me. And I sta- I mean, it wasn't right away, but it grew and grew and grew.

Joe Rogan 6:51 Wow. And what, what is Branson like? 'Cause I would always hear about it, like, it was always, like, we, we would hear about it in LA, that it was this, like, freaky Bible town. That it's, like, the creationist museums and stuff like that. Like, here- here's a reconstruction of the ark. Like, that's w- the kinda stuff that you would hear. I've s- obviously, I never went, so I don't know

Yakov Smirnoff 7:10 Yeah, yeah. Um, I didn't wanna go to Branson, okay? I was living in LA. [laughs] I didn't, I mean, I, I-

Joe Rogan 7:16 Did you move to Missouri?

Yakov Smirnoff 7:18 E- eventually I had to, yeah, because I, I had to sell my house. I mean, the whole thing went-

Joe Rogan 7:23 Wow

Yakov Smirnoff 7:23 ... yeah. So, uh, what happened is I didn't have, I didn't know where to go. I mean, it literally was scary. I have two little kids at that time, and I can't find work. So my agent calls me and he said, uh, "Willie Nelson is doing this, uh, Farm Aid concert, and um, um, would you like to co-host with him?" And I didn't have a... You know, I said, "Sure, but I don't think farmers would know who I am." And I got there, 50,000 people. I did my set, and they gave me a standing ovation. And I went like, "Wow, this is... I didn't expect that." So I go to say goodbye and say thank you to Willie, and I open the door, and the smoke comes out.

Joe Rogan 8:12 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 8:13 And the [laughs] ... And I was proud to say that I, you know, I, I, I didn't do drugs, but after I opened that door, I couldn't say that anymore. So I, uh, through this, through the smoke, he goes, "Yakov, you should go to Branson. They'll love you there." And I was like, "Okay, I heard about it," but I was not sure. So I go to Branson just to check it out, and it's, mm, um, March of two thou- uh, it's 1993. Um, and I've been struggling now for two years after the Soviet Union collapsed. And I go in, and, and I walk into one of the shows, and it was Shoji Tabuchi show. It was a, a Japanese fiddle player, um, uh, that was just playing, uh, country music. I didn't know about him. And I walk in, and it's a matinee, and there are 2,000 people in that room.

Joe Rogan 9:13 Whoa.

Yakov Smirnoff 9:14 And I'm going, "What is going on?"

Joe Rogan 9:16 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 9:16 And right? This is crazy. I was in Paris-

Joe Rogan 9:19 Like a parallel universe

Yakov Smirnoff 9:19 ... I didn't see. Right. So then I go Andy Williams', uh, show, and it's the same thing, 2,000 people full. And I'm going, "Wow, if, if they can do this, I can do it as well." And so I, in May, I rented a small theater, and I just set my shop there, put my name on the wall. And I got, first show, 17 people came in. And I'm going, "Oh, boy. I, I, I, I don't have a place to go, but this is not gonna work." But then I start doing... I, I was pretty creative. I started, I said, "I'm gonna serve breakfast in the s- in the showroom. I'll, I'll ca- I'll call it Yakov in a Box. And I'm just gonna make my mother recipe of breakfast, and people will pass it, eat, and hopefully more people will come."

Joe Rogan 10:19 Wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 10:20 So I would do two shows a day, um, um, on, uh, in the morning and in, in evening, dinner and breakfast. And little by little, it grew, it grew, it grew. And then a year later, my average was, like, 400 people a show. And then the buses, that's the big business there is the, the people come by bus in those days, a lot of them. And they would just, um, fi- discovered me, and I started to become more and more popular. And then I bought 2,000-seat theater, and now I entertain over six million people there. And it became, yeah, this is, uh, this is kind of [laughs] it's-

Joe Rogan 11:09 That's your theater.

Yakov Smirnoff 11:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:10 Look at you.

Yakov Smirnoff 11:11 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's been a, a very successful, uh, journey overall. I'm, you know, I'm kind of the, the, the only celebri- or national known person there now.

Joe Rogan 11:27 Wow. And so how often you do shows there?

Yakov Smirnoff 11:31 Now I got down to, like, 30 shows a year towards, uh, the fall. Uh, but I used to do 400, uh-

Joe Rogan 11:39 Whoa

Yakov Smirnoff 11:39 ... a, a year just to m- make more money, and people were coming, and I, it, it worked out for me.

Joe Rogan 11:48 Well, good for you for adapting.

Yakov Smirnoff 11:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:50 I'm sure that must have been very nerve-wracking, though.

Yakov Smirnoff 11:53 It was.

Joe Rogan 11:54 Especially with young children.

Yakov Smirnoff 11:55 Uh, uh, big time.

Joe Rogan 11:56 And you're, you know, from another country. You come to America. You're killing it. You think, "Oh, my God, I'm the American dream."

Yakov Smirnoff 12:03 Right.

Joe Rogan 12:03 "This is incredible."

Yakov Smirnoff 12:04 And then it's nightmare all of the sudden, and you don't know what to do.

Joe Rogan 12:08 [sighs]

Yakov Smirnoff 12:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:08 That's the problem with the world before social media, right? Because before social media, like, you, you couldn't just-

Yakov Smirnoff 12:15 That's-

Joe Rogan 12:15 ... put some clips out there and show that you're still performing and still going places.

Yakov Smirnoff 12:20 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:21 'Cause back then there was, like, a narrative, and if that narrative got out, you were done.

Yakov Smirnoff 12:25 Yes.

Joe Rogan 12:25 You know? So the narrative was Soviet Union-

Yakov Smirnoff 12:27 So I was canceled

Joe Rogan 12:27 ... yep.

Yakov Smirnoff 12:28 Yeah, I was canceled. And I didn't have anything to do with it.

Joe Rogan 12:31 Right.

Yakov Smirnoff 12:31 It's not like I had a scandal or something. It just, I was helping Reagan to chisel the wall down, but there was a writing in the wall [laughs] that I didn't see.

Joe Rogan 12:42 Right.

Yakov Smirnoff 12:42 It says, "Get a, get a day job," you know?

Joe Rogan 12:44 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 12:44 And I didn't see it, right? So that's how it happened.

Joe Rogan 12:48 It's amazing that you found Branson.

Yakov Smirnoff 12:50 Right.

Joe Rogan 12:51 And it's, what would happen if you didn't? That's what's really crazy. Like, what, do you think you would've been able to figure out a way to tour again? Was it that clubs wouldn't book you, or people wouldn't come?

Yakov Smirnoff 13:02 Uh, both.

Joe Rogan 13:03 Both.

Yakov Smirnoff 13:03 At some, some... Because people were not buying tickets, the clubs didn't book me, and the whole effect is just, you know-

Joe Rogan 13:12 So it was just the fall of the Soviet Union that people got in their mind, oh, Yakov is done.

Yakov Smirnoff 13:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:18 Wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 13:19 It, it was that quick.

Joe Rogan 13:20 That's what's fucked up about it, is 'cause, like, you have very funny jokes.

Yakov Smirnoff 13:24 I do, yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:24 Like, you're a good comic. It's like the, the idea that you can't be a great comic and talk about other stuff is so stupid.

Yakov Smirnoff 13:31 But, but what happened, it was an evolution for me. I, I think that I look back and I'm going, "Thank you for this," because it was kind of a, a one-note, um, tune. And, and then it made me, forced me to go, okay, uh, that topic is not necessarily the right thing, uh, right now. It's not, nobody cares, because Soviet Union not there and nobody's scared of it. Because I was kind of like a, you know, it was a headache, uh, from the, the, you know, or, uh, a pain in the butt, uh, Soviet Union, and I'm Preparation H. And I, they used me, and then after swelling and itching went away, you don't need it anymore.

Joe Rogan 14:22 Right. [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 14:23 Right? So that's how it happened.

Joe Rogan 14:24 Yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 14:25 So, so I went into... And that also coincided with my divorce and, um, and I was struggling, trying to figure out what's, w- what direction do I go? And I realized that this, I was helping the Cold War to end in some ways by being in, involved with Reagan and, and helping with that. And, um, when, when that happened, I figured, you know, my divorce is happening. I know laughter helped the world become a better place. Why is there laughter in the beginning of the relationship with men and women, and then when there's divorce, the only people laughing are at- attorneys? And I put that question to my audience. So it became kind of like my laboratory of laughter. I just start asking people, I said, "How many of you remember laughter being part of that honeymoon stage of your relationship?" And they all applaud. And then I go, "How many would go on a second date if you didn't have laughter on the first date?" And no one applauded. So I, I became, like, this is kind of a universal thing that I was... My dad was an engineer and inventor, so my brain is kind of constantly, I, I'm looking for reverse engineering. Why is it that laughter goes away in a relationship? So as comedians, we gauge our relationship with the audience with laughter every time.

Joe Rogan 16:05 Did the relationship fall apart because you had to move to Missouri?

Yakov Smirnoff 16:09 Well-

Joe Rogan 16:10 Or was it just going south in-

Yakov Smirnoff 16:11 ... it challenges, yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:12 Yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 16:12 It, it added to this, but I think I was looking for the root of this more, uh, like, what is that, that I am, uh, missing, that I didn't do? Because, you know, I was-

Joe Rogan 16:25 You had a gimmick.

Yakov Smirnoff 16:27 Uh, I had a gimmick.

Joe Rogan 16:27 You had a gimmick, yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 16:28 But, but that was with my audience. What was happening with my wife? Why was-

Joe Rogan 16:34 Mm

Yakov Smirnoff 16:34 ... that falling apart? So I start seeing the parallel. And the kids were little at that time, and I, um, was trying to explain to them, uh, what was going on. And I can show you what I did. I brought this with me.

Joe Rogan 16:50 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 16:52 Um, it's, uh, I, I showed this to [laughs] ... I know, it's show and tell. I sh- I brought it, uh, for my... I started, I s- I, I took magnets and I was showing my kids. I said, "Look, Mommy and Daddy, and we, um, we attracted one another, and we had you, and we had love and laughter," and what was happening. And then something happened, and I don't know if you can show it, Jamie, uh, on this-

Joe Rogan 17:21 There's people listening as well.

Yakov Smirnoff 17:22 Okay. Oh, okay. So-

Joe Rogan 17:23 The, the magnets are gonna repel

Yakov Smirnoff 17:24 ... the magnets, they attract, but then when things don't go well, they repel.

Joe Rogan 17:30 Right.

Yakov Smirnoff 17:31 So I was going, what is it that's attracting us, and what is it that's repelling us? And then after doing this, and I w- I went to University of Pennsylvania, got my, um, a master's degree in psychology, got my doctorate degree at Pepperdine. I mean, I was digging in. I was doing-

Joe Rogan 17:50 You did all this while you were doing Branson?

Yakov Smirnoff 17:53 While I was performing Branson, yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:54 How were you doing that?

Yakov Smirnoff 17:55 I would travel. I would just go do a weekend, uh, just... I would take my schedule, make it the way I want it, and whatever I had to do, I would just travel to, uh, Pennsylvania to, uh, and, and do that. And-

Joe Rogan 18:13 And you were taking in-person classes?

Yakov Smirnoff 18:15 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:16 But how were you doing that?

Yakov Smirnoff 18:16 But on the weekends.

Joe Rogan 18:17 You were doing four... You were on the weekends.

Yakov Smirnoff 18:18 On the weekends.

Joe Rogan 18:19 You can do that?

Yakov Smirnoff 18:20 There were classes, yes.

Joe Rogan 18:21 Wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 18:21 There was, yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:22 So you would work all week and then fly in the weekends to... Why were you doing that?

Yakov Smirnoff 18:27 Well [laughs]

Joe Rogan 18:28 That sounds exhausting

Yakov Smirnoff 18:29 ... it's, it's interesting. I was searching for a purpose. I think that was I, I n- noticed something that was universal, um, and I wanted to prove that scientifically to myself and to, um... And I, and I did, because it was important to me. And what I figured out, and as a comedian you'll understand, that every time we tell a joke, uh, we're, uh, the setup is we're meeting their needs. They're interested in that topic. You and I talked in the green room, like you need more topics, for example, for your one hour, more, uh, to, to add. And so the topics that you're looking for are the, the, uh, you're meeting the needs of people. They want, they are curious. And then your humor is the punchline, and that creates laughter. If you don't meet their needs, if they're not interested, then your humor doesn't matter much. So in a relationship, the same thing happens. So if I put this, and I know people are listening, but they, they can maybe picture that. If you put needs in the middle, then you-

Joe Rogan 19:47 You're talking about magnets.

Yakov Smirnoff 19:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:48 You gotta remember, a lot of these people are, are not watching.

Yakov Smirnoff 19:50 Are listening.

Joe Rogan 19:51 Yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 19:51 Okay. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna abandon that.

Joe Rogan 19:53 Yeah, let's abandon that. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. There's no excuse for a bad website anymore. Squarespace makes sure of that. Squarespace's AI website builder gets you something that looks genuinely professional in just a few clicks. No design skills required. You can lock down your domain, build something that actually looks like you, and keep it all protected in one place. Head to squarespace.com/rogan for a free trial, and when you are ready to launch, use the offer code ROGAN to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Yakov Smirnoff 20:30 So-

Joe Rogan 20:30 I get what you're saying, though.

Yakov Smirnoff 20:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:31 Yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 20:32 The, the needs is, uh, the flexible thing in our... Humor stays the same, but the needs or the setup is different. So if every business, uh, is successful when they figure out what is the need of people. Like Apple, for example. They say, "We dev- we develop product that you don't know you need, but then you can't live without it." That's their motto. So the same thing, a restaurant. If they figured out what need is that community has, they're successful. You figured out what is the need that people have, and they're listening to you, and they love it.

Joe Rogan 21:19 I don't... Is it a need? Like we're talking, we're... The word need is a weird one, 'cause for me, need is like food and shelter and community. That's the real needs. Everything else is desires.

Yakov Smirnoff 21:30 Well, in the-

Joe Rogan 21:31 Or interests

Yakov Smirnoff 21:32 ... in the hierarchy of needs with Maslow, they just go higher and higher.

Joe Rogan 21:37 Oh, I see what you're saying.

Yakov Smirnoff 21:38 Yeah, so when, when you find, he called them needs.

Joe Rogan 21:43 Mm-hmm.

Yakov Smirnoff 21:43 I couldn't find a better-

Joe Rogan 21:44 No, it's, no, that makes more sense now. Yeah, I get it. Yeah. Um, it's, uh, I, I feel like the most important thing about comedy is you have to be actually, excuse me, you have to actually be interested in what you're talking about. Obviously, it has to be funny. That's the most important thing.

Yakov Smirnoff 21:59 Right.

Joe Rogan 21:59 But other than that, the second most important thing, or the thing that like really resonates with people is, uh, when someone's on stage and they're talking about something that means something to them-

Yakov Smirnoff 22:08 Right

Joe Rogan 22:08 ... I get invested.

Yakov Smirnoff 22:09 Exactly.

Joe Rogan 22:10 I'm invested in people that are fascinated with stuff. I'm invested with people that are, that have, like hobbies that they love.

Yakov Smirnoff 22:17 Exactly.

Joe Rogan 22:17 Even if I'm, I have no interest in it at all-

Yakov Smirnoff 22:20 Yeah

Joe Rogan 22:20 ... I wanna hear them talk about it.

Yakov Smirnoff 22:21 Exactly. Exactly.

Joe Rogan 22:22 Yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 22:22 And I, I totally, that's, you found that whatever you wanna call it, desire, need, whatever you wanna call it, but whoever zooms in on that and understands it, they're, they're successful in what they do. So in marriage, um, my focus switched from a s-... the Cold War between countries to Cold War between couples.

Joe Rogan 22:45 Mm.

Yakov Smirnoff 22:46 And s- uh, understanding that men and women are different is f- uh, very important, because they have different needs. And so part of my dissertation was to, um, uh, to give that u- understanding so then the person's not like searching and doesn't know what he's looking for. There, I'm, I'm married, and I'm happily married now, and my main goal is to figure out what does my wife need? And if I can anticipate it, then we have love and laughter, and it's living there. But if I don't, or if she doesn't, then we start arguing, and that happens in every family.

Joe Rogan 23:32 Mm.

Yakov Smirnoff 23:33 So w- uh, I'm easier, so there, there's a book by Dr. Willard Harley called His Needs, Her Needs, and what he did, um, he was dealing with a lot of couples that g- uh, was getting a divorce, and he was trying to help them in marriage counseling. And he ask, um, uh, he identified like 10 emotional needs, and he ask, um, these, uh, people to prioritize, men and women. And it was interesting that he said, "I was shocked that five top needs for man were totally different from five top needs for women." So if we don't know that, so the, the needs for women were affection, conversation, openness and honesty, family commitment, and financial support. Not for every woman, but that's was majority. And then for men, it was sexual fulfillment, it was admiration Um, sexual fulfillment again. Um, it's, uh, but it was admiration, um, attractive spouse, recreational companion, and domestic support. Those were-

Joe Rogan 24:49 Makes, makes men sound, seem really base.

Yakov Smirnoff 24:51 They are.

Joe Rogan 24:52 Base and stupid.

Yakov Smirnoff 24:53 We are. We are.

Joe Rogan 24:53 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 24:54 We are.

Joe Rogan 24:54 That sexual attraction-

Yakov Smirnoff 24:55 We are

Joe Rogan 24:55 ... is number uno.

Yakov Smirnoff 24:56 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:57 And then it's in there t- how's it in there twice? That doesn't make any sense.

Yakov Smirnoff 24:59 No, I just, I was-

Joe Rogan 25:00 You just fucked it up?

Yakov Smirnoff 25:00 Yeah. I, no, I was joking.

Joe Rogan 25:01 Oh, you're joking around.

Yakov Smirnoff 25:02 Yeah, I was joking around.

Joe Rogan 25:03 Um, yeah, that's funny. Like, admiration's a funny one. That's funny.

Yakov Smirnoff 25:07 Admiration is huge.

Joe Rogan 25:08 That's hilarious.

Yakov Smirnoff 25:09 I, I ask-

Joe Rogan 25:09 You need admiration from your wife. That's hilarious.

Yakov Smirnoff 25:12 Well, but it's not, because if you-

Joe Rogan 25:14 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 25:14 ... if you think, if you think that, uh... I ask the audience, so here is what I do in my show.

Joe Rogan 25:20 Uh-huh.

Yakov Smirnoff 25:21 Uh, and it's, they're laughing, but they're also learning something. I say, "How many of you gentlemen here, at least once in a while, would like to hear your wife said, 'You're such a good man. Thanks for, um, doing things for us.' Applaud." And few people applaud. And I go, "Well, not every man is applauding because they're scared." And they laugh. And then I go, "So let me ask you the same question from an opposite point of view. Any of you gentlemen disagree with that?" Silence. Then I go, "You see, ladies, you used to do it. You f- you don't do it now, but you used to do it in the beginning. That's what that attraction was, is was the man needed that." And women don't. They don't wanna be acknowledged or, uh, admired for what they do. They wanna be loved for who they are, kind, beautiful, smart, selfless. And I, I ask women, "Is that true?" And they applaud. So it, so... And it, it's subconscious, but I know for me, that's a very important thing, that if I'm doing something, all I need is like, "Thank you." And sometimes-

Joe Rogan 26:36 Mm-hmm

Yakov Smirnoff 26:36 ... it's overlooked, and that doesn't feel right.

Joe Rogan 26:39 That's interesting. It, it definitely resonates that men don't necessarily care if a woman does a thing, like if she's really good at a thing.

Yakov Smirnoff 26:47 Right.

Joe Rogan 26:48 Like, men... I, I mean, I mean, I, this is v- obviously a great generalization, 'cause there are probably-

Yakov Smirnoff 26:53 It is

Joe Rogan 26:53 ... some men-

Yakov Smirnoff 26:54 Of course

Joe Rogan 26:54 ... that one of the things they love-

Yakov Smirnoff 26:55 Of course

Joe Rogan 26:56 ... is the talent that a woman possesses-

Yakov Smirnoff 26:57 Of course

Joe Rogan 26:58 ... or the drive and-

Yakov Smirnoff 26:59 Absolutely.

Joe Rogan 26:59 But for the most part, what men want is someone to be nice. [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 27:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:04 Be nice and be pretty.

Yakov Smirnoff 27:05 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:06 Like, my friends have joked around about this before, my single friends, about like, "I don't give a fuck if a girl works at McDonald's. Is she nice?"

Yakov Smirnoff 27:12 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 27:12 "Is she pretty, and is she nice?" You know?

Yakov Smirnoff 27:15 Sure.

Joe Rogan 27:15 "And is she not, like, completely annoying to talk to? Is she fun to talk to?" Like, you don't care what her job is.

Yakov Smirnoff 27:20 Wow.

Joe Rogan 27:20 If she's cool and she's fun. But a woman meeting a cool, good-looking guy that's nice that works at McDonald's, like, "You fucking loser."

Yakov Smirnoff 27:28 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 27:29 You know, unfortunate-

Yakov Smirnoff 27:30 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 27:31 No, no shame to the people working at McDonald's.

Yakov Smirnoff 27:33 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 27:33 I worked fast food when I was younger, too. I did, uh, I worked at a couple... The first place I worked at was a burger place called Newport Creamery. I worked at a place called, uh, Papa Ginos. It was like a-

Yakov Smirnoff 27:44 Uh-huh

Joe Rogan 27:44 ... a Italian fast food place. Nothing wrong with working at McDonald's. Point is, women don't respect it-

Yakov Smirnoff 27:50 Right

Joe Rogan 27:50 ... for whatever reason.

Yakov Smirnoff 27:51 Right.

Joe Rogan 27:52 Especially the women that wanna have a family and settle down and all that jazz. They look at a guy working at McDonald's like, "You don't have any ambition." And that's the thing that women, uh, want from men that men don't seem to really care that much from women. Women want a guy that has ambition, and men do not care-

Yakov Smirnoff 28:09 Right

Joe Rogan 28:09 ... generally. Although, I gotta say, Phil Hartman, when he obviously did not have a good marriage, 'cause his wife killed him and then killed herself, obviously didn't have a good marriage, right?

Yakov Smirnoff 28:21 No, no.

Joe Rogan 28:21 Let's not... Um, when, he had almost got divorced a few times, and one, I remember one, one time he and I were having a conversation about it, and he said, he goes, he goes, "If I fucking get divorced," he goes, "my next wife, she has to like something." He goes, "I don't give a fuck what it is. I don't care if it's rock climbing. You have to be into something." So that was his thing, was like that he was really into things. Like, he, uh, got his pilot's license. Like, the place that I actually bought in California, I found out about that part of California because of him, 'cause he took me up in a plane. And he was explaining to me, like, there's other counties that you could live in, and these counties, like, they have land that's like your... Yeah, it's a drive, but it's, like, more peaceful and relaxed. You don't have to be, like, in the heart of everything. Um, so he was, he was into being a pilot. He, he had-

Yakov Smirnoff 29:10 Yeah

Joe Rogan 29:10 ... uh, like he played music.

Yakov Smirnoff 29:12 Yes.

Joe Rogan 29:12 He, he always had a bunch of different interests that he was pursuing on top of being an actor and being a comedic actor, and so he was really frustrated. One of the things he was frustrated is that his wife didn't have any ambition. She didn't have any interests.

Yakov Smirnoff 29:28 Well, but she also probably didn't admire him for what his, uh, accomplishments were.

Joe Rogan 29:34 I think she wanted to be famous as well.

Yakov Smirnoff 29:36 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 29:36 Maybe we probably shouldn't talk about this too much. But, uh, and I think there was probably some resentment in his success. I think she was trying to be famous as well.

Yakov Smirnoff 29:44 Well, that's like those magnets repel. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:47 Well, it's like sometimes when t- a couple... I've seen it the opposite. Like a friend of mine, she was dating this guy who was a comedian, and when she started doing well, he started getting really shitty with her.

Yakov Smirnoff 29:55 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 29:56 He, uh, he started getting very resentful, and he would, uh, be insulting, and she could tell that there was, she was, he was not happy that she was doing well.

Yakov Smirnoff 30:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:04 'Cause she started to take off, and he wasn't.

Yakov Smirnoff 30:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:06 And it was like he was very frustrated, and they broke up. And she was like, "That always really hurt, 'cause I really felt like if I was doing well, if he loved me, he was, he was gonna be happy, too, and he wasn't happy."

Yakov Smirnoff 30:16 It, it's nice if this was discussed in the beginning of the relationship. It's like-

Joe Rogan 30:22 Well, sometimes the man doesn't know, and the woman doesn't know how they're gonna behave. You don't know what your character flaws are until you're presented by something that tests you.

Yakov Smirnoff 30:29 Absolutely. Absolutely. So my, my goal was to understand it better. And, um, there's a painting I sent Jamie, if you... I painted this painting, uh, that kind of helped me. Uh, if you can find it, it's a tree of love, and it helped me to understand better, better what my role is. Because my first marriage, I did not know, um- What my role was. I was, I m- I met a woman, a American girl, beautiful, everything was great. Uh, when I shook her hand or shook, she shook my hand, she almost broke my hand. And my, uh, my, a subconscious was like, my mother was very strong in my parents' relationship. Mom was the leader and Dad was creative, wonderful man, but he would follow her. And I subconsciously went with that, um, uh, that, that script, that manuscript of my life. And so this helped me, uh, to see something that I wanted, who do I want to be? I wanted to be that strong man who is able to give life to a woman that she can be free, creative, uh, bring, um, our, um, you know, fruit, uh, children, so she doesn't have to worry about that. In my previous marriage I didn't understand that. So on stage I came across like I was this, you know, strong guy who was invited to the White House to perform. Um, I was k- you know, I was commanding a big group of 2,000, 3,000 people, and she saw that. And then in the relationship I became like, now she knows what to do, I don't have to do anything. So I said I do, and I didn't do it. I didn't know what it was, what my role was. So it took me 20 years and all of that education to get to that place that who do I want to become to attract a woman that wants to be, uh, in that role.

Joe Rogan 32:50 Damn, dude, you thought about this shit deep.

Yakov Smirnoff 32:52 I did.

Joe Rogan 32:52 You were going through it, man.

Yakov Smirnoff 32:54 I, I gotta tell you.

Joe Rogan 32:54 You were going through it. 'Cause you're going through that, which is always a bummer for people, especially with children, when you're getting divorced. But then on top of that, your career goes away-

Yakov Smirnoff 33:03 Yes

Joe Rogan 33:03 ... 'cause the Soviet Union collapsed.

Yakov Smirnoff 33:04 Yes.

Joe Rogan 33:05 And then you said, "Fuck it." That's very admirable, that you said, "Fuck it, I'm gonna get educated and figure out what's wrong with me and what's-

Yakov Smirnoff 33:11 Exactly

Joe Rogan 33:11 ... what's..." You know?

Yakov Smirnoff 33:12 Yes. Yeah, and I don't know if you have a picture of my, my wife and, and the kids, and the kid. Now, now I'm 75 and I have a one-year-old.

Joe Rogan 33:21 What?

Yakov Smirnoff 33:21 Yes. I am to-

Joe Rogan 33:23 When did you get married? How long did you-

Yakov Smirnoff 33:25 Seven, seven years ago. So this, uh, means-

Joe Rogan 33:27 So you spent, like, 20 years single.

Yakov Smirnoff 33:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:29 Just trying to figure yourself out.

Yakov Smirnoff 33:31 Yeah. Yes.

Joe Rogan 33:31 Damn, man.

Yakov Smirnoff 33:31 Yes.

Joe Rogan 33:32 You went on a walk through the wilderness.

Yakov Smirnoff 33:33 I went to Tony Robbins', uh-

Joe Rogan 33:35 What?

Yakov Smirnoff 33:35 Yeah, all of his-

Joe Rogan 33:36 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 33:37 ... trainings. I mean, I needed to become... I wasn't that strong person. I was more like my dad, and I needed to become who I wanted to be. I wanted a woman to trust me that I can sustain no matter what. Um, and I have a feeling, there's my wife and-

Joe Rogan 33:57 Did you meet your wife in Missouri?

Yakov Smirnoff 33:59 No, uh, she is from Ukraine. Uh, that's an interesting-

Joe Rogan 34:04 You have a one-year-old? Dude, it's time to get you on some peptides.

Yakov Smirnoff 34:06 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 34:07 All right? We gotta... That's crazy. You're 75, you have a one-year-old?

Yakov Smirnoff 34:10 I do. I, we-

Joe Rogan 34:11 Like, we, we gotta go to work on you.

Yakov Smirnoff 34:12 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 34:13 We gotta keep you alive.

Yakov Smirnoff 34:14 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 34:15 That's, that's nuts.

Yakov Smirnoff 34:16 Uh, it's, it's wonderful. I, uh-

Joe Rogan 34:18 You're almost 20 years older than me and you have a one-year-old. That's crazy.

Yakov Smirnoff 34:21 Well, I'm, I'm, I-

Joe Rogan 34:23 That's crazy

Yakov Smirnoff 34:24 ... I'm excited, I'm excited because I figured that I figured out something. So the way... So I, I was... You'll, you'll get a kick out of it. So I was married to an American woman, then I was dating other women. It wasn't, it wasn't happening. So I took my kids, uh, grown kids to, uh, Ukraine, and I want them to show... I'm from Odesa, all right? So went there, uh, with them. They were, like, probably in their 20s. And so, and on the way back I forgot my, uh, passport on the plane from Odesa to Kyiv, and I had to stay behind for a day to get a temporary passport. So I went to a, a p- a park, and I was waiting for this. And, um, and I see this, uh, lunchtime, and this gorgeous women are, uh, going to lunch and back. And, and, and they're like, I feel like I'm in Paris watching a runway show. I mean, it's, like, beautiful women. And, and I'm going, "I, I'm, I'm can relate to that. I would like one of those women."

Joe Rogan 35:40 Wait a minute-

Yakov Smirnoff 35:40 But-

Joe Rogan 35:40 How, but how old are you at this time?

Yakov Smirnoff 35:42 That was 10 years ago, so 65.

Joe Rogan 35:46 And how old are these ladies?

Yakov Smirnoff 35:48 Uh, well, my wife is 42, so, uh, but, uh, in, in their, in their, uh, 20s, 30s.

Joe Rogan 35:56 42 and 75 doesn't f- seem offensive, for whatever reason, you know what I mean?

Yakov Smirnoff 36:01 I, uh, uh, well-

Joe Rogan 36:02 Like, 20 and, what, what would be the equivalent?

Yakov Smirnoff 36:06 Well, I wasn't looking, I, I, I wasn't looking, I wasn't a playboy. I was looking for a wife.

Joe Rogan 36:11 I believe you.

Yakov Smirnoff 36:11 I had a, I had a s-

Joe Rogan 36:13 But women don't care about that. If they find out that a man is, like, that much older than a woman, they kinda get upset.

Yakov Smirnoff 36:18 Well, uh, probably that culture is a little bit different than American culture.

Joe Rogan 36:22 Mm-hmm.

Yakov Smirnoff 36:23 Um, and so what I did, I said, "Okay, how do I do that?" So I s- went to Ukraine and I tried to meet women through, like, agencies that, uh, introduce people. It wasn't working a couple of times. Then I decide I'm gonna just hire three different agencies at the same time, and I'm just gonna go for two weeks, and I had 51 dates.

Joe Rogan 36:48 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 36:49 I, I went to work.

Joe Rogan 36:49 So you went to Ukraine just to meet a woman.

Yakov Smirnoff 36:51 I went, uh, to look for a wife. It wasn't a woman, it was just-

Joe Rogan 36:55 Right, but I mean-

Yakov Smirnoff 36:55 Yeah, yeah

Joe Rogan 36:56 ... it has to be a woman.

Yakov Smirnoff 36:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:57 Right?

Yakov Smirnoff 36:57 Yeah. Yeah. [laughs] Yeah, yeah. And so, uh, yeah, so that's what happened. And I would just have lun- breakfast, lunch, and dinner with different ladies, and I-

Joe Rogan 37:08 Wow

Yakov Smirnoff 37:08 ... it didn't take me very long, because I had all that training and education. I was new, and I was looking for a woman who, um, has a, a, a father that, um, is really good for her. I mean, I, I knew that if the father, if they're afraid of masculine energy, if they're, uh, been with a abusive dad or something is not right, they will not trust my energy.

Joe Rogan 37:37 Hmm.

Yakov Smirnoff 37:38 And that was through the handshake. I could tell pretty much if that woman... And, and all 51 dates were n- I- it didn't work. I mean, I just knew in couple of seconds that it wasn't right, but then I have to eat, you know. So I gained weight just because I, I had to eat all this time, three meals a day. And anyway-

Joe Rogan 38:01 You were going out with three different girls a day-

Yakov Smirnoff 38:03 Yeah

Joe Rogan 38:03 ... to try to find a wife?

Yakov Smirnoff 38:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:05 That sounds kind of crazy. [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 38:08 Well, it... So then-

Joe Rogan 38:09 Does that sound a little crazy?

Yakov Smirnoff 38:11 So then, so then I go, it didn't work, right? So what do I do? So now I, I decide I'm going to do a seminar in Kyiv, uh, on relationships, because I was teaching at Missouri State University at that time. So professor from America is going to teach this course on the relationships and laughter, right? That was my hook. And I figured-

Joe Rogan 38:37 But you did this all just to meet women?

Yakov Smirnoff 38:39 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:40 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 38:41 I did. Well, I'm, I'm not, I'm, I, I, I'm not ashamed of it, because I was-

Joe Rogan 38:47 Listen

Yakov Smirnoff 38:47 ... I was very f-

Joe Rogan 38:47 It's-

Yakov Smirnoff 38:48 ... focused

Joe Rogan 38:48 ... pragmatic

Yakov Smirnoff 38:49 ... very focused.

Joe Rogan 38:50 You have a, a good strategy.

Yakov Smirnoff 38:51 Very focused.

Joe Rogan 38:51 It seems like the same strategy that led you to, like, serve breakfast in Branson. You're an industrious guy.

Yakov Smirnoff 38:57 And get out of the Soviet Union.

Joe Rogan 38:59 You find solutions.

Yakov Smirnoff 39:00 Exactly. Exactly.

Joe Rogan 39:01 Yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 39:01 So then, so then I, uh, I need somebody to promote this, uh, and, uh, to find the venue and, uh, m- bring women. But the, the logic was-

Joe Rogan 39:12 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 39:13 The logic was that the women who will come, uh, to a, a seminar are different kind of women that go to those agencies. Those agencies, they're hunting for somebody from outside the country. They're looking for somebody. These women were just wanted to know more about relationship. And-

Joe Rogan 39:34 So what do you mean they're hunting for someone outside the country? So they're trying to escape Ukraine?

Yakov Smirnoff 39:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:38 That's what they're doing?

Yakov Smirnoff 39:38 Yeah. But the-

Joe Rogan 39:39 So they're trying to find a husband that's gonna take them out of there.

Yakov Smirnoff 39:42 Exactly. Exactly.

Joe Rogan 39:43 Wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 39:43 So they're more in a masculine energy. They're more like-

Joe Rogan 39:47 Ah

Yakov Smirnoff 39:47 ... I'm gonna get somebody.

Joe Rogan 39:49 Right.

Yakov Smirnoff 39:49 And I wasn't into that.

Joe Rogan 39:50 Yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 39:50 That wasn't interesting. So someone recommended, uh, this lady who can do this, promote this, and that was my a- uh, future wife. It was my, uh, Olivia, who I'm now married to. And, uh, when I met her and she promoted this, uh, I already knew that I didn't need the seminar. I just, I met somebody that I really, um, wanted to, to be with. And, uh, it didn't, it wasn't immediate because we're age difference, so at first I was like, "What? What are you talking about?" And I wasn't... I was just professional and doing this professionally, but little by little we start learning about each other. And then I, I invited her to America, proposed to her on her, uh, birthday and had her balloon ride. I mean, I was, you know-

Joe Rogan 40:48 Very romantic, Yakov.

Yakov Smirnoff 40:50 Yeah, yeah. That way she-

Joe Rogan 40:51 Hot air balloon ride

Yakov Smirnoff 40:51 ... she could not get out that way. [laughs] I could keep her there.

Joe Rogan 40:55 Wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 40:56 Yeah, yeah. So that's-

Joe Rogan 40:57 See, that is a creepy place to p- propose.

Yakov Smirnoff 40:59 To propose? Well-

Joe Rogan 41:00 Like, you're already scared. You're up there.

Yakov Smirnoff 41:01 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 41:01 Are you gonna take care of me, please?

Yakov Smirnoff 41:03 [laughs] But I, with the big-

Joe Rogan 41:05 Oh, get, get this thing down on the ground

Yakov Smirnoff 41:06 ... I put a big, big banner on the ground. "Will you marry me?"

Joe Rogan 41:10 Aw.

Yakov Smirnoff 41:11 Aw. And, and she didn't know how to read English, so she-

Joe Rogan 41:15 That's hilarious

Yakov Smirnoff 41:16 ... she, yeah, she did not say yes. Uh, and then, uh, then I opened the ring, and you know, and then she said yes, so.

Joe Rogan 41:25 Um, does she speak Russian? Is that what they speak in Ukraine?

Yakov Smirnoff 41:28 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:28 Primarily?

Yakov Smirnoff 41:29 Yeah. Primarily.

Joe Rogan 41:29 Is, is there a Ukrainian language?

Yakov Smirnoff 41:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:31 There is, right?

Yakov Smirnoff 41:32 There is. There is. That's the tension between two sides of Ukraine. One is-

Joe Rogan 41:37 Hmm

Yakov Smirnoff 41:37 ... very Western, very Ukrainian. The other one is Russian-speaking, and they, uh, Russian-speaking don't mind the, the other side. The other side does mind. So yes.

Joe Rogan 41:50 Got it.

Yakov Smirnoff 41:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:51 Got it. Got it. Well, the, it's, like, what was it like starting out doing standup in the Soviet Union? That's where you started, right?

Yakov Smirnoff 41:59 Yeah, I did.

Joe Rogan 41:59 How old were you?

Yakov Smirnoff 42:00 I was 15.

Joe Rogan 42:02 And what is it like over there when you're 15? Is there, like, a t- a version of The Tonight Show in Russia?

Yakov Smirnoff 42:08 Well, no. It's a lot, uh, at those days, you know, uh, it was very structured, very Communist Party controlled. So there was only, like, two comedians in the whole country that were government approved. So they, they would be on the radio, on television, and nobody else was really doing comedy. So-

Joe Rogan 42:35 What were the comedians like? Do, uh, for, for someone-

Yakov Smirnoff 42:38 More, more like Vaudeville kind-

Joe Rogan 42:39 What were their names?

Yakov Smirnoff 42:40 Uh, Arca- Arkady Raikin. Uh, you could probably Google him. Arkady Raikin, he was the main guy that I would listen to. And in each, each r- um, apartment there would be a little speaker that would be on all the time so they could brainwash you

Joe Rogan 43:00 Oh.

Yakov Smirnoff 43:00 Yeah. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 43:01 You had a speaker in your apartment all the time.

Yakov Smirnoff 43:04 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:05 Wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 43:06 Yeah, yeah. So, so, so but then on Sunday mornings-

Joe Rogan 43:11 This is, uh, this is what '66?

Yakov Smirnoff 43:13 Uh, yeah, yeah. I have 50 watts, so yeah, yeah, that's about that time. Yeah, that was the guy, yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:22 Wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 43:23 Very, very-

Joe Rogan 43:23 That was the guy

Yakov Smirnoff 43:24 ... very famous. Uh, w- the only people from America that we saw were Charlie Chaplin, and that's it. So-

Joe Rogan 43:32 Just Charlie Chaplin?

Yakov Smirnoff 43:33 Charlie Chaplin.

Joe Rogan 43:34 So you thought America was just silent movies? [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 43:36 Well, they, they, uh, uh, they portrayed it-

Joe Rogan 43:39 Oh, he even had a Cha- he did a Charlie Chaplin impersonation.

Yakov Smirnoff 43:42 Uh-huh. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:43 Wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 43:44 Yeah, yeah. So, uh, so I would-

Joe Rogan 43:47 What, he's got wacky wigs and shit?

Yakov Smirnoff 43:49 I would listen to his, uh, the ... So every other Sunday or every once a month, he would have a different monologue that was written and approved by the Communist Party.

Joe Rogan 44:01 [sighs]

Yakov Smirnoff 44:02 Yeah, so I was really into it, so I would l- record it, and we had the big tape recorder like this. And I would record it, and I would r- memorize it. And because there was nothing to be approved because it's already been approved, then I would go to, like, a c- club in my, uh, uh, school, and I would tell jokes, his jokes. And people knew that it was his jokes, but they would, they would laugh, and that's how I got my n- understanding that I really wanted to do that.

Joe Rogan 44:38 Wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 44:39 Yeah. And, and little by little, then I went to military, and I did that there kind of as an amateur. And then, uh, J-

Joe Rogan 44:50 So you d- you did stand-up for the military?

Yakov Smirnoff 44:53 Yeah, yeah. But it would be just the, like, holidays, like if it was May Day or-

Joe Rogan 44:59 Like an event

Yakov Smirnoff 44:59 ... Octo- yeah, October Revolution, they would ex- look to me to, to entertain. So I would do that. And then I went to, came out of military, went to college, uh, for art degree. My parents didn't think that I could do anything. Comedy would not be like ... Nobody even thought that that's even a, a possibility. And so, um, I kept doing it and then start working on the, uh, Soviet cruise ships. Um, and they, [laughs] they had in the Black Sea Soviet cruise ships. So I went, uh, they asked me to go and perform there on the cruise ship. Yeah, you're, you're like, "Really?"

Joe Rogan 45:44 Wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 45:44 They have ... Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So it was-

Joe Rogan 45:47 How old were you at the time?

Yakov Smirnoff 45:48 I was 20, 21.

Joe Rogan 45:51 Okay.

Yakov Smirnoff 45:51 Yeah. Um, now I'm getting paid, and I'm getting, um, a cabin, and now prior to that, I lived in a communal apartment with my parents in the same room till I was 26 years old.

Joe Rogan 46:06 Whoa.

Yakov Smirnoff 46:07 So yeah. So no phone, uh, uh, nine families.

Joe Rogan 46:11 What if your parents wanted to get frisky? They tell you to go for a walk?

Yakov Smirnoff 46:13 They would go look out the window. [laughs] You know?

Joe Rogan 46:16 Go look out the window?

Yakov Smirnoff 46:18 Well, I, I joke about this and then-

Joe Rogan 46:20 Oh, okay, okay

Yakov Smirnoff 46:20 ... yeah. And then-

Joe Rogan 46:21 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 46:21 ... and then they say, "What do you see?"

Joe Rogan 46:23 Jeez.

Yakov Smirnoff 46:23 "What do you see in the window?" I said-

Joe Rogan 46:24 I might jump out that fucking window.

Yakov Smirnoff 46:26 Yeah. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 46:27 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 46:27 Yeah. And they say, "What do you see in the window?" I said, "Our neighbors being frisky." And-

Joe Rogan 46:32 Oh

Yakov Smirnoff 46:32 ... and they say, "How can you tell?" I said, "Because their son is looking at me." So that's the-

Joe Rogan 46:37 Oh, that's funny

Yakov Smirnoff 46:38 ... that's the joke I tell. But, um, but, uh, that was my, my life.

Joe Rogan 46:43 Wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 46:43 And here, all of the sudden, I'm introduced to this, uh, so, uh, tourists from other countries would take those cruises around Black Sea. And all of the sudden, I'm introduced to this group of people that I was not allowed to talk to, foreigners. We were not allowed to even communicate.

Joe Rogan 47:03 Where, what countries were they from?

Yakov Smirnoff 47:05 Uh, Germany, uh, Britain, some Americans, some Australians, uh, Yugoslavians, uh, whatever, from, uh, Soviet bloc. And-

Joe Rogan 47:18 And was, who was the president of, or the ... What-

Yakov Smirnoff 47:22 B- Brezhnev. Brezhnev was-

Joe Rogan 47:23 Brezhnev

Yakov Smirnoff 47:23 ... the president at that time, yeah. And so I started, uh, so I did one week of performances, and, um, and then, uh, they said, "Would you like to stay on board?" And I said, um, I, I, I said, "Can, can I bring my parents with me? Can, can we give us another cabin for them?" And they said, "No, you don't get any special privileges. We have hundreds of people like you. Get out." And I, I was like, "Okay." So I left. And, um, uh, t- a couple of hours later, a messenger comes. We have no phones, so it's like messenger comes and brings two sets of, um, sets of tickets for me and my parents. And I never heard that it's even possible, like, that they would go back on their word. So I go on the cruise, and, um, the, and the, uh, I go to a cruise director. I said, "What, what happened?" And he said, "Well, here's what happened. Uh, these ships normally are rented to European companies for, like, nine months out of the year. And we learned from them that if somebody is valuable, we give them more, uh, perks. Um, the captain liked your performance, and he told them, the company, that even if you have to give him my own cabin, I want him on the ship." And the light bulb went in my head. I said, "Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Are you saying that in capitalistic world, if you're more talented, you get more things?" And they go, "Yeah." That was, it's hard to imagine. It was like, changed my life. It was-

Joe Rogan 49:14 Well, it's hard to imagine for people that didn't grow up in the environment that you grew up, with a speaker in your apartment.

Yakov Smirnoff 49:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:20 Like, just you saying that to me, my mind is rattled. I was like, oh my God. Like, they could just broadcast in your apartment anytime they wanted.

Yakov Smirnoff 49:28 Yeah, yeah. And-

Joe Rogan 49:29 What a great way to brainwash people

Yakov Smirnoff 49:31 ... and, uh, they would jam, like, uh, because we had the big radio, and they would jam Voice of America. Uh, but my dad would c- wake up, like in the middle of the night. He was wanting to know what's happening out there, and he would sit there and listen to that quietly. And I remember as a kid, I asked, "Dad, what are you listening to in the middle of the night?" And he goes, "Shh, don't let neighbors hear us. This is Voice of America. We're not allowed to listen to it."

Joe Rogan 50:04 Wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 50:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:05 So you had to keep it secret?

Yakov Smirnoff 50:06 Yeah, but at nighttime they would-

Joe Rogan 50:08 How did he listen to it?

Yakov Smirnoff 50:09 Just quiet, just sat there and-

Joe Rogan 50:11 Right, but if they jammed it, how did he listen to it?

Yakov Smirnoff 50:13 No, uh, they would jam it during the day.

Joe Rogan 50:15 Oh.

Yakov Smirnoff 50:16 But at nighttime they didn't think anybody would wake up at 3:00 in the morning and sit there and listen to it.

Joe Rogan 50:21 How do they jam it?

Yakov Smirnoff 50:23 It just, just bshhh, I don't know, some kind of a-

Joe Rogan 50:26 [laughs] How does he say that again?

Yakov Smirnoff 50:27 Yeah, bshhh. I don't know. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 50:30 [laughs] So they had some way to jam that signal-

Yakov Smirnoff 50:32 Yeah. Oh, yeah

Joe Rogan 50:32 ... whatever signal was on.

Yakov Smirnoff 50:33 Exactly.

Joe Rogan 50:34 Wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 50:34 Exactly, yeah. It's short wave, so it goes in and out anyway.

Joe Rogan 50:38 What, what did he get out of listening to Voice of America? Like, what, what was he, does he, did he talk about it?

Yakov Smirnoff 50:43 Yeah, yeah. I would then start also waking up and listening and, and it would be just standard American thing. "Give me your tired, your hungry, your poor," uh, something like that. And, you know, and they would tr- that there's a Statue of Liberty waiting to greet you, uh, if you come to the United States. And he would always say, "You know, this, this would be something that I would love you to experience." And, um, and my mom was, she hated that because she was afraid that we'll get in trouble, and so she didn't wanna even talk about this. So if I drew a picture as a kid, I would draw a picture of Statue of Liberty, uh, and she would like, "Don't do that. Don't let anybody see this. We'll get in trouble." And, um, when after I experienced the cruises and got to know this different environment, I came home and I go, "Mom, Dad, I think we should consider try to get out of..." And Mom was, like, mad at my dad. And my dad stood up, which was good for him at that time. Normally he would just be quiet, but he said to my mom, "Clara, don't you d- would you like your son, when he is my age, sit there by the radio and listen, uh, to Voice of America hoping, uh, wishing that he would be doing something like that? Or would you like him to be in America doing this?" And my mom kinda went, "You know what's gonna happen when we apply for a visa. People who are consider your friends, they will cross the street, and they will not wanna talk to you and be seen with you, and you're gonna go through hell." And, and, and, and, and my dad said, "Yeah, we will." And she said, "Well, if you're willing to do it, so, so am I."

Joe Rogan 52:52 And that's all you had to do is apply for a visa?

Yakov Smirnoff 52:54 Well, what was happening at that time, uh, Jimmy Carter was the president here, and he wanted to, uh, see some human rights in the Soviet Union, and, and the Soviet leadership was, they were starving. They didn't have, uh, food. Uh, so they needed food from America. So Jimmy Carter made the deal that we're, we're gonna give you grain, and you allow people to get out.

Joe Rogan 53:24 Wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 53:24 And that's how we c- we were kinda exchanged for some wheat, you know?

Joe Rogan 53:30 Wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 53:30 That's how we got out.

Joe Rogan 53:31 Wow. Holy shit, man.

Yakov Smirnoff 53:34 Yeah, yeah. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 53:36 Just, you, um, sometimes need to be reminded how fortunate you are. You know, Americans in particular, we're very, uh... You know, it's not our fault. You know, people become accustomed to-

Yakov Smirnoff 53:49 Yeah

Joe Rogan 53:49 ... where they live.

Yakov Smirnoff 53:50 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:51 And they think this is normal, m- which is one of the reasons why this, uh, push towards communism amongst young people is so infuriating to me. It's like I d- I understand that it comes from this desire for empathy and kindness. I get that. The idea of socialism comes from an idea of empathy and kindness, that you want, you think the world would be better if we all shared, and that why are there's people that are so rich and people that are so poor? And you're right. Uh, but the solution is not-

Yakov Smirnoff 54:21 No

Joe Rogan 54:21 ... to make the government decide who gets what.

Yakov Smirnoff 54:23 Right.

Joe Rogan 54:23 'Cause they never decide the right way.

Yakov Smirnoff 54:25 Right.

Joe Rogan 54:26 They, they do what people do. What people do when they have power is they enact total control-

Yakov Smirnoff 54:31 Right

Joe Rogan 54:31 ... over the population so that they can maintain power. And then they live in luxury, and then you wait in line for bread.

Yakov Smirnoff 54:37 Right.

Joe Rogan 54:37 And that's how it is all over the fucking world.

Yakov Smirnoff 54:39 Right.

Joe Rogan 54:39 And if you step out of line, they shoot you.

Yakov Smirnoff 54:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:41 That's where communism goes.

Yakov Smirnoff 54:43 Right.

Joe Rogan 54:43 So what we need is, like, a more, a more moral and ethical version of capitalism So we need capitalism, but with empathy. Capitalism, but with philanthropy.

Yakov Smirnoff 54:54 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 54:54 Like real philanthropy, not like scams where you, you find out that 90% of the money is actually going to all the people that work there, and it's-

Yakov Smirnoff 55:02 Right

Joe Rogan 55:02 ... a small pers- We need to figure out a way to be more empathetic as a culture, but recognize that the pursuit of freedom and the ability to have freedom is so huge, and it's such a great gift. We're so lucky that we have this experiment in self-government that is the United States of America.

Yakov Smirnoff 55:18 100%.

Joe Rogan 55:18 And that we were b- that at least I was born here.

Yakov Smirnoff 55:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:21 We're, we're lucky as shit, you know? And you don't throw that away because it's not good enough.

Yakov Smirnoff 55:26 Right.

Joe Rogan 55:26 Don't throw that away because it's not, it's not perfect. It, you're not gonna get perfect with human beings, but this is the best system. Is it corrupt? 100%.

Yakov Smirnoff 55:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:36 Yeah, that should be fixed. The corruption should be fixed, and b- guardrails should be put in place, and maybe more regulations in regard to some things should be put in place. But the purpose of this whole thing is to allow people to have freedom to do whatever they want.

Yakov Smirnoff 55:51 Yes.

Joe Rogan 55:51 And that's not ubiquitous in the world. That's not everywhere. This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. People can get pretty creative when it comes to job hunting, like creating interactive portfolios online, or have you ever heard about the person who handed in a resume on a custom candy wrapper? Well, you don't need unusual stunts to see how much someone wants the position, though. You just need ZipRecruiter. Try it free at ziprecruiter.com/rogan. ZipRecruiter's new feature shows you the most interested, qualified candidates first, and candidates can add a personal note explaining why they want the job. ZipRecruiter makes it easy for amazing candidates to get your attention. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at ziprecruiter.com/rogan. That's ziprecruiter.com/rogan. Meet your match on ZipRecruiter.

Yakov Smirnoff 56:56 No, no. And I've been, I've been kind of a poster boy child for American dream in a way.

Joe Rogan 57:03 Look at your phone.

Yakov Smirnoff 57:05 Uh, [laughs] what?

Joe Rogan 57:07 Look at that phone case. That's-

Yakov Smirnoff 57:08 Well, it's true. I-

Joe Rogan 57:09 If I had that on, people would call me a fascist. [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 57:12 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 57:12 And we have a giant American flag.

Yakov Smirnoff 57:14 In, in Branson, yeah, in Branson, that's, that's not-

Joe Rogan 57:17 That f- that flag, to me, doesn't represent whoever is in... It didn't represent Biden when he was in office. It didn't represent Obama. It didn't represent Trump. It di- it... That represents all of us, right and left-

Yakov Smirnoff 57:29 Right

Joe Rogan 57:29 ... independent, Black, white, Asian, Russian, fill, fill in the blanks.

Yakov Smirnoff 57:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:34 Filipino, everybody from everywhere. Who cares? It's America. This is America.

Yakov Smirnoff 57:38 Well-

Joe Rogan 57:38 This is the great melting pot.

Yakov Smirnoff 57:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:40 And that's, that's how we really should be. And that flag shouldn't represent... Some people think the flag represents racism or colonialism.

Yakov Smirnoff 57:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:47 Like, come on, stop. That flag represents hope. And if you were-

Yakov Smirnoff 57:51 Yeah

Joe Rogan 57:51 ... a kid like Yakov Smirnoff-

Yakov Smirnoff 57:53 That's right

Joe Rogan 57:54 ... li- Is that your real name?

Yakov Smirnoff 57:55 No. No, it's-

Joe Rogan 57:56 What's the real name?

Yakov Smirnoff 57:56 Pokhis.

Joe Rogan 57:57 Say that again?

Yakov Smirnoff 57:58 [laughs] That's why.

Joe Rogan 57:59 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 58:01 Pokhis, P-O-K-H-I-S, is my real name.

Joe Rogan 58:05 Yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 58:05 But, uh, I was a, a bartender, a bar boy at first when I came here, and I, my first job was a bar boy in the Grossinger's Hotel, uh, in the Catskills. And-

Joe Rogan 58:18 Oh, wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 58:19 Yeah. And, and-

Joe Rogan 58:20 What year was this?

Yakov Smirnoff 58:21 '77.

Joe Rogan 58:22 Who'd you get to see perform there?

Yakov Smirnoff 58:23 Oh, Freddie Roman.

Joe Rogan 58:25 Wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 58:26 Uh, Eddie Fisher.

Joe Rogan 58:28 Wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 58:28 Yeah, yeah, yeah, a lot of-

Joe Rogan 58:30 Freddie Roman, old school, baby.

Yakov Smirnoff 58:31 Yeah, old school. I was learning-

Joe Rogan 58:32 Red Skelton, did you see those guys?

Yakov Smirnoff 58:34 Uh-huh, I did, uh, later, later in ve- in Atlantic City, but yeah. Yeah, I, I was learning English. Uh, I was, um, learning about Chappaquiddick or-

Joe Rogan 58:47 Yeah

Yakov Smirnoff 58:47 ... stuff like that.

Joe Rogan 58:48 Yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 58:48 I was like, "What, what is that?" You know? So I was, I was definitely learning English, uh, there. Uh-

Joe Rogan 58:55 Have you ever seen the television show on Amazon, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel?

Yakov Smirnoff 59:00 Mm-mm.

Joe Rogan 59:00 It's really good, man.

Yakov Smirnoff 59:02 Is it?

Joe Rogan 59:02 Yeah, the first scene, uh, the first season rather, is incredible. It's about a, a young woman-

Yakov Smirnoff 59:08 Uh-huh

Joe Rogan 59:08 ... who's married and decides to become a stand-up comedian.

Yakov Smirnoff 59:13 Okay.

Joe Rogan 59:13 Like, she's married with kids, the whole deal, and she decides to do stand-up, and p- part of sh- what she does, she does some stand-up, like, in the Catskills.

Yakov Smirnoff 59:21 Interesting.

Joe Rogan 59:22 And they're like, that is... For people that don't know stand-up, there's, like, stand-up comedy as an art form is a very new art form.

Yakov Smirnoff 59:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:30 Very new-

Yakov Smirnoff 59:30 Yeah, yeah

Joe Rogan 59:31 ... in terms of human history.

Yakov Smirnoff 59:32 Yes, yes.

Joe Rogan 59:33 It's only existed, like, in this form that we call stand-up, where you have comedy clubs and stuff like that, it's only existed like that since the '60s.

Yakov Smirnoff 59:40 It's true. It's, it's Vaudeville pretty much-

Joe Rogan 59:43 Yeah

Yakov Smirnoff 59:43 ... started that, right?

Joe Rogan 59:44 Yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 59:44 Uh, it's a different form, uh, but that was, I was learning from those jokes.

Joe Rogan 59:50 But a big part of it was the Catskills.

Yakov Smirnoff 59:51 Yes, very much.

Joe Rogan 59:52 A big part of it because people from New York and Pennsylvania-

Yakov Smirnoff 59:56 Yes

Joe Rogan 59:56 ... and they would, they'd go into the Poconos-

Yakov Smirnoff 59:58 Yes, yes

Joe Rogan 59:58 ... or the Catskills, and they would do that on summer vacation, and people would get jobs there. And comedians would go and book themselves at these places.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:00:06 Exact-

Joe Rogan 1:00:06 It was a big deal.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:00:07 It was. It was. And I, I didn't know, um, a- a- about that. Uh, I just-

Joe Rogan 1:00:14 So you just got a job there just out of college.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:00:16 Well, how it happened, I, I decided I need to learn English. I didn't speak English, right, so to, to start with. So, h- how do I learn English? And I deci- I thought maybe if I can be a bartender, because in the cruise ships, bar was in the same, uh, proximity as the stage was. So I figure it's the same people coming to enjoy evening, and I can talk to them individually and learn English. That was my clever idea, right? And so I went and got- ... uh, a, a bartending, oh, it's called Degree of Mixology. Uh, in New York there was a, a makeshift school on Fifth Avenue, uh, two weeks, uh, $200, and you get a degree of, of being a mixologist. And I don't speak English, but I s- collected that $200, got the degree. So, and they promised you to get a job, right? So first job they get, got me, uh, there was a restaurant in Lincoln Center called Monks Inn, and it was, uh, you, you dress as a monk-

Joe Rogan 1:01:26 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:01:27 ... and it's a French restaurant, and you don't have to speak. You're a waiter-

Joe Rogan 1:01:31 It's perfect

Yakov Smirnoff 1:01:32 ... but you don't have to speak. It was perfect. Um, and then, uh, I, at the same school said they're requesting some, uh, bar boy in, uh, the Catskills at the Grossinger's Hotel, and I didn't know anything about it. And I, s- uh, on my day off, I went upstate New York and went, walked into this place, and it was gorgeous. It was a beautiful bar, like an 18 bartenders or whatever. It's huge. And then 2,000-seat, uh, uh, theater. And when I saw it, it my, in my brain, I said, "I don't care what they pay me, I want to work here."

Joe Rogan 1:02:15 Mm.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:02:16 And so I, um, I took that job, and, uh, actually I, I was, I was nervous because I didn't know that I can quit the other job because they just gave it to me like a week ago.

Joe Rogan 1:02:30 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:02:31 And, right? And so I go back and I'm so nervous. I go to the manager, I go, um, "Uh, I know this is, you gave me a break, but there's an opportunity here." And, and he said, "Yakov, um, it's America, you should take the opportunity. And if you ever need the job, you get it here." And I was like Rocky, I was like, "Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da."

Joe Rogan 1:02:59 Was he calling you Rocco- uh, Yakov?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:03:00 Yakov.

Joe Rogan 1:03:01 Or was he calling you-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:03:02 Yakov

Joe Rogan 1:03:02 ... you'd already used that name?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:03:03 Uh, Yak- Yakov is my real name. Yakov is my real name.

Joe Rogan 1:03:07 But you said it wasn't your real name.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:03:08 Pocus. Pocus is my last name.

Joe Rogan 1:03:10 Oh.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:03:11 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:11 Okay.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:03:11 Yakov is my real name.

Joe Rogan 1:03:12 Okay. Okay.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:03:12 So I took-

Joe Rogan 1:03:14 Yakov Perke- Pocus was the maiden-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:03:16 Pocus. Yakov Pocus was the-

Joe Rogan 1:03:16 He has the Smirnoff?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:03:18 And I, and I, people could not pronounce my name, so in the bar they would, I would see the, that they can say, uh, "I'll have some Smirnoff." And I'm going, "Hmm, maybe that's a good name."

Joe Rogan 1:03:32 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:03:32 And I [laughs] and it stuck, and Yakov Smirnoff became my name.

Joe Rogan 1:03:36 That makes sense. That makes sense.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:03:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:37 But when you think about how many different people in show business changed their names back then-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:03:42 Mm-hmm

Joe Rogan 1:03:42 ... that was a super common thing. Like, you didn't keep the name that you were... If you had a goofy na- like Arnold Schwarzenegger-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:03:48 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:03:48 ... was a groundbreaker, 'cause he was like one of the first guys to say, "Regardless-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:03:52 That's who I am

Joe Rogan 1:03:52 ... whether or not you could spell my name or even say it, that's my name. I'm gonna keep that name."

Yakov Smirnoff 1:03:56 Right. Right, right.

Joe Rogan 1:03:57 So many people changed their names-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:03:59 Yeah, yeah

Joe Rogan 1:03:59 ... and made them, their name sound more, uh, appealing.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:04:02 Well, mine, mine kind of worked because Yaks is like jokes.

Joe Rogan 1:04:07 Right.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:04:08 Yaks. And Smirnoff kind of makes people happy.

Joe Rogan 1:04:11 Right.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:04:12 So it kind of worked as a-

Joe Rogan 1:04:13 Oh, it works great.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:04:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:14 It's a great idea.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:04:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:15 So you're a young kid and you're at these Catskills shows, how long did you work there?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:04:22 Uh, not very long, about, uh, s- eight, maybe seven, eight months.

Joe Rogan 1:04:27 And did you slowly learn English when you were working there?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:04:29 I was learning English, and I was tr- um, translating jokes, and I would try them on the audience or my, my customers, and I would just tell a joke, and if they laughed, then I knew that I, I, I, I'm understood, and if they didn't laugh or I didn't get a tip, then it wasn't working.

Joe Rogan 1:04:47 Ah. [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:04:48 So, so that was my, that was my gauge. It-

Joe Rogan 1:04:52 And you were a busboy when you were doing this?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:04:53 I was a barboy, bar boy.

Joe Rogan 1:04:55 Bar boy and just-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:04:56 So bar boy is bringing ice and-

Joe Rogan 1:04:57 Right

Yakov Smirnoff 1:04:57 ... mixing piña coladas, whatever, and then became-

Joe Rogan 1:05:00 And then you automa- And then-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:05:01 Then became a bartender.

Joe Rogan 1:05:03 Okay.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:05:03 And then I would ask pe- uh, the guy, I asked the guy who was, uh, uh, the manager of the main room, uh, uh, Barry Wise his name, and he, I asked him, uh, if I could try my comedy. And-

Joe Rogan 1:05:20 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:05:23 And he said, "No, you can't do it in this room, but in the lobby, uh, in afternoons they have a game with older people, Simon Says. And, uh, uh, the, the guy who, master of ceremonies there, uh, will probably let you do a f- couple of minutes of stand-up." So I did. I, I walked on stage and I, uh, it's a little stage in the lobby and I'm, I'm telling couple of jokes, and some woman in the back started, uh, I thought she was laughing. It was like, "Ha, ha, ha." She had seizures. And, and I didn't know, and I'm thinking I'm doing well.

Joe Rogan 1:06:11 Blah.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:06:11 And they're getting her on a gurney out of there, and people coming over and saying, "You were killing, you were killing." I'm going, "No, no, I wasn't killing." The whole thing was, but at least I told couple of jokes, and that gave me some confidence. And then I, uh, did couple of shows in, uh, Catch a Rising Star, which wasn't very good, uh, for me. And-

Joe Rogan 1:06:37 In New York?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:06:38 In New York, yeah. And then, and then I was working as a shipping manager in a company c- called Greeting Bells, and just to make some money. And the lady said, uh- I know somebody in Hollywood, um, uh, his name is Ted Bergman. He's the producer, executive producer of Three's Company, which was a huge show at that time.

Joe Rogan 1:07:05 Sure.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:07:05 He said, "If you go to Hollywood, I can arrange a meeting." And I, I, I said, "Okay, I'll go." So I had a plan. I, I bought a ticket, uh, for 10 days to go to Hollywood, uh, become a star, and then come back to New York and buy Fifth Avenue apartment for my parents. That was my desire, which is crazy, right? But I go, "Okay, he's an executive producer of Three's Company. He'll put me in the show. I'll become a star right away."

Joe Rogan 1:07:40 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:07:40 It ... [laughs] I know. It's, it's crazy, right? But I, I really was that naive, right? So I go there, and Ted Bergman says, "I would like to see you perform." So I need to find a spot, and I go to The Comedy Store, and I get on the, uh, open mic list. And, uh, and then the m- message comes, um, that he is not gonna make it. But I'm already committed, so I'm doing my five minutes. And, and I'm bummed because now it's day four, and I'm not even close to getting a, a, a television show. So I'm walking away, and I'm on, on Sunset, and this, uh, girl, Chrissy is her name, was Mitzi's secretary at that time, and she runs after me, and she goes, "Yakov, Yakov, congratulations." And I go, "Why? I mean, the guy didn't show up." And she goes, "No, no, no, no, no. Mitzi liked you." And I go, "Who, who is Mitzi?"

Joe Rogan 1:08:51 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:08:52 [laughs] I know, I know. It's silly to sit in front of her portrait. And she goes, "She owns The Comedy Store. Go talk to her." So I go sit down, uh, next to her in that booth that is next to, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:09:07 Yeah, sure

Yakov Smirnoff 1:09:07 ... uh, the original room. And I have no idea who I'm talking to, but ... And she says, "You were very funny. Stay in Los Angeles. There is always place for good and different." And I'm, again, I'm like, "Okay." I said, "I, I, I'm sorry, but I, you know, I have parents in, in LA, in, uh, in, uh, uh, uh, New York, and I need to go back because I, they rely on me." And she goes, "So what does your dad do?" And I go, "He's a building construction engineer." And she goes, "Can he be c- a, a carpenter?" And I go, "I think so." And she goes, "Okay. Why don't you bring him here? I'll give him a job."

Joe Rogan 1:10:05 I like your Mitzi impression.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:10:06 Uh-

Joe Rogan 1:10:06 It's pretty close.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:10:07 [laughs] And, and she s- she goes, "And where do you live?" And I go-

Joe Rogan 1:10:13 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:10:15 ... [laughs] "I, I am staying with some friends." She goes, "I have a house up the hill, and you can rent a room for $120 a, a month if you want to."

Joe Rogan 1:10:26 That was, uh, Crest Hill?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:10:27 Crest Hill, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:10:28 Yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:10:30 So I, I, I still don't know, again, who I'm talking to. Uh, and she goes, "And, and come back tomorrow and watch a regular show."

Joe Rogan 1:10:40 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:10:41 So I come back.

Joe Rogan 1:10:43 How old are you at this time?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:10:44 I'm 26, 26, 27 now. Yeah. So I go in next day, and I sit in the back. And first person, uh, that Harry Speed, you probably remember him.

Joe Rogan 1:10:58 Sure.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:10:58 Yeah. Harry Speed introduces Robin Williams first on stage, and he was ... He'd just hit number one, uh, show on, on-

Joe Rogan 1:11:08 Mork & Mindy?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:11:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:11:09 Yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:11:10 And after him is Billy Crystal. After him is David Letterman. After him is, uh, Richard Pryor.

Joe Rogan 1:11:18 Wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:11:19 Yeah, yeah. It's lined up like... And I'm sitting back there, and I'm going, "This is day five. I'm ahead of schedule."

Joe Rogan 1:11:29 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:11:31 [laughs] If she likes them and she likes me, I'm staying. I don't care. And that's how it started. And she gave me a job. So basically, I was helping my dad, uh, as a carpenter because she wasn't, I wasn't ready to perform there really, but she-

Joe Rogan 1:11:52 But she believed in you.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:11:53 Yeah. And she gave me a break, and little by little, once a month, she would say, "Why don't you go up and do what you..." You know. And I was practicing. I would do other clubs meantime just to get better and better and better. And, and then, you know, she had been an amazing supporter, you know. And I continue. I built the, uh, a lot in the ballroom. I built a lot of things in, in the, the, in... And she, m- my, my, my main job was to go to her house, and, uh, Paulie was a young kid who was smoking pot. And to pr- prevent Mitzi from walking into on him, he would take off the doorknobs of the door-

Joe Rogan 1:12:41 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:12:41 ... and he would throw them away.

Joe Rogan 1:12:43 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:12:43 And my job was to go and buy door, new doorknobs and put them in. It was like a full-time job, you know? And so yeah, I, she'd been a blessing, a blessing for me.

Joe Rogan 1:12:57 Paulie's at the club this weekend.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:12:59 Oh, is that right?

Joe Rogan 1:12:59 Yeah, yeah

Yakov Smirnoff 1:13:00 Oh, cool

Joe Rogan 1:13:00 Yeah, he's on the 25th

Yakov Smirnoff 1:13:02 Oh, that's cool

Joe Rogan 1:13:02 25th.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:13:03 That's crazy.

Joe Rogan 1:13:04 Yeah, yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:13:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:13:05 And, and, and so how good was your English back then?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:13:09 It was getting better, you know?

Joe Rogan 1:13:10 Were you, were you taking courses or reading books? Or-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:13:12 Yeah, yeah. I was, I was relentless. I would, I would do whatever it takes, uh, to learn. Uh, I was... I mean, I isolated myself totally from, uh, Russian speaking except my parents. I was speaking to them in Russian, but everybody else I spoke in English. So it got, it was getting better and better. And then little by little I got, you know, uh, kind of, uh, Robin got me a part at, uh, Moscow on the Hudson movie.

Joe Rogan 1:13:43 Oh.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:13:44 Uh, that was the first, um, actually-

Joe Rogan 1:13:46 This is all in the '70s, right? So this is probably like you got-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:13:48 It was-

Joe Rogan 1:13:49 Arrived there like what '78?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:13:50 '78, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:13:51 Yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:13:52 And then the movie was 80, uh, started in '82.

Joe Rogan 1:13:56 Wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:13:56 Came out in '84. Uh, so at that point I was doing Night Court a lot. Um, uh, the, did like seven episodes. Um, I could not get on the Tonight Show. Uh, uh, there was a producer, Jim Macaulay, who didn't think that Carson's gonna like me.

Joe Rogan 1:14:16 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:14:17 Right? And so I became... And he would come every day. Mitzi was very supportive of this. She, she would have like a showcase once a year of people for, uh, him to look at, and he would come and he would say, "Carson's not gonna like. He's not gonna like. He's not gonna like." And on, on year six he came and he said, "Yakov, let's save time for one another. Uh, you'll get on that show when the hell freezes over." I swear. And I... So I started watching Weather Channel-

Joe Rogan 1:14:52 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:14:52 ... just to... Well, I, I didn't have a shot. I mean, and, and I just kind of moved on. And then I got a Miller Lite commercial, uh, which, uh, became very popular. I don't know if you can show that. Jamie, you could probably see it. It became really big. All the sudden I was, uh, during Super Bowl shown, and all the sudden people kind of got, got to know me. And, um, I, um, a- a- and, and, and then Carson saw this commercial and he told Macaulay, he said, uh, "This guy is funny. How come we don't have him on?" And Macaulay said, "Oh yeah, we were just about to get him." And so Mitzi calls me. I'm in s- uh, Raleigh, North Carolina, in the club, and she calls me and, um, a- and I remember on the payphone I call her back and I go, "Uh, what's going on?" She goes, "Guess who called?" I go, "Who?" "Macaulay. He's an ass- he's such an ass. He now wants you on the show right away." And my gut reaction was like, "Oh, f- I wanna tell him to go shove it." And then I go-

Joe Rogan 1:16:12 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:16:12 ... "No, no, no. I gotta..." So I, I, I did The Tonight Show and Carson liked me and called me over to the couch, which was, uh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:16:25 Wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:16:25 Which was kind of a, um, a big deal at that time. And I, and I sat down and I said, "Johnny, you know, in America you have things we never had in Russia, like policemens have warning shots." And he almost fell off the chair. And we went to a commercial and Macaulay comes over, he gets between me and Carson, he goes, "Can you do, can you do another shot like this, like couple of months from now?" I go, "When the hell freezes over?" He goes, "Touche, touche." And I did six, seven, seven episodes of Carson.

Joe Rogan 1:17:06 And people, uh, today, young people especially listening, don't understand what a big deal it was-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:17:13 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:17:13 ... to be on Carson. And I think the only thing that's close today is Kill Tony.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:17:17 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:17:18 Kill Tony is, uh, a place where people's careers are actually really legitimately launched.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:17:23 Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:17:23 And there's a bunch of people, like Cam Patterson's on SNL now. You know, there's guys like, uh, when, when I did a show, uh, a podcast with The Black Keys, they were asking for William Montgomery to perform. Like, "Can we go see William Montgomery?" Like, there's people that are stars from that show now.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:17:38 Amazing. Well, I'm-

Joe Rogan 1:17:39 It's pretty cool

Yakov Smirnoff 1:17:40 ... I'm here with you because I did that show, and, uh, here I saw you and you invited me, so I'm very grateful to Tony that kind of got us-

Joe Rogan 1:17:50 So Tony's done that for a lot of people. I mean, he, uh, he's blown up Adam Ray.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:17:54 Uh-huh. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:17:54 He's blown so many, so many of these guys.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:17:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:17:57 Kyle Dunnigan. So many of these guys have, have taken off because-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:18:00 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:18:00 ... of Tony.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:18:01 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:18:01 I mean, it's, it's a really amazing platform-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:18:03 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:18:03 ... because it's just, it's just comedy.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:18:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:18:06 You know?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:18:06 Yeah. Totally, totally. Love it.

Joe Rogan 1:18:08 It's a, like a more important, uh, platform for comedians than a regular podcast like this one, because this podcast is not y- always comedy.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:18:17 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:18:17 Like, sometimes I'm talking to scientists.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:18:19 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 1:18:19 Sometimes I'm talk-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:18:20 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:18:20 ... you know, talking to a lot of weird, different people.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:18:22 Yeah. Absolutely.

Joe Rogan 1:18:23 But that show is just funny, and, uh, there was nothing like that back then. So the closest thing to it was The Tonight Show.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:18:30 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:18:30 And if you got on The Tonight Show and you did stand-up, I mean, that was the first time, uh, I remember watching Richard Jeni was on The Tonight Show and, uh, there's a bunch of other people that I saw on The Tonight Show too, but everybody would stay up late at night, and when there, there was a comedian on The Tonight Show you'd get excited.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:18:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:18:45 You're like, "Oh, there's a comedian."

Yakov Smirnoff 1:18:46 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:18:47 "Let's, let's see if they're funny." And, um, uh- If you were good and you were on The Tonight Show, then you could perform at clubs all over the country.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:18:54 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:18:54 And they would say, "As seen on The Tonight Show."

Yakov Smirnoff 1:18:56 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:18:56 And I would go, "Oh, The Tonight Show."

Yakov Smirnoff 1:18:57 Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:18:58 It was a huge deal.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:18:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:18:59 And if you had that credit and people had seen you-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:19:02 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:19:02 ... also back then, like what were the numbers? The numbers were crazy.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:19:06 30 million.

Joe Rogan 1:19:07 Yeah, because there was only-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:19:08 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:19:08 ... four channel-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:19:09 Right

Joe Rogan 1:19:09 ... three at the time.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:19:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:19:10 Not even four.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:19:10 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:19:10 Fox didn't even exist yet.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:19:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:19:12 So there was three channels, and a huge percentage of the country was-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:19:16 Yes

Joe Rogan 1:19:16 ... watching this one thing.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:19:17 Yes. Yeah. I, I was very blessed. Um-

Joe Rogan 1:19:20 Isn't that crazy?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:19:22 Yeah. And I-

Joe Rogan 1:19:22 30 million

Yakov Smirnoff 1:19:23 ... yeah. And I, one time I offered them, he loved to do impressions of Reagan, uh, Carson. He was... And I, uh, I offered them to do a skit of me as an interpreter, he as Reagan, and then had a Gorbachev lookalike. And it was a huge hit. It was really, uh, very, very well-received. So, uh, and, and that's another interesting thing that, you know, like when I m- met the Reagan, uh, I was still fairly unknown and, and I was playing a club in Washington, DC and it was called Comedy Cafe. And, uh, and somebody came over to me after the show, and a guy, I didn't know who he was, and he said, "I'm having President Reagan and, um, Nancy Reagan as my guests, dinner guests, at my home in two weeks. Uh, I would like to invite you to be one of the guests." And I'm thinking, "This guy's nuts. Who is this?" You know? And he was chief editor of Washington Times Newspaper, and he, um, uh, the, the reason I brought this up because so he send me tickets. We c- I come back and then this like a scene from, uh, like a Die Hard or something. We're pulling into his, uh, hou- towards his house. There's helicop- two helicopters are hanging over the neighborhood. There's FBI everywhere, and I'm going, "Uh, there's gonna be a mess. You know, they're gonna, they won't let me in." I, I just didn't think it's possible. So they get him out of the car, they frisk him, they ask for his IDs, and he said, "I'm the owner of the place where the president is going to dinner." And they said, "We don't care." So they get him, and then they shine the light. I'm sitting in, in the, uh, [laughs] uh, in the passenger seat, and they shine the light on me. And the guy goes, "Miller Lite commercial, right?"

Joe Rogan 1:21:39 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:21:41 "Go in."

Joe Rogan 1:21:43 Wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:21:43 That's how I met, that's how I met the president. And then it was, uh, he, the moment we met each other, it's like locked in, like the same wavelength. And all of a sudden he was like, "Have you heard this joke?" And he starts telling me Russian jokes, and then it was back and forth. And suddenly 18 people in the room, and everybody's laughing, and that's how it started, that relationship.

Joe Rogan 1:22:11 Wow. That's crazy.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:22:14 Yeah. And then, and then I get a call from his, uh, Dana Rohrabacher, who was his head speech writer, and he calls me a couple of weeks later and he said, "Reagan is gonna go to Russia to meet with Gorbachev. He is going to do a speech in front of all the Russian politicians in University of Moscow. Uh, he would like you to write some jokes for his speech." And this is like insane for me to hear this. I'm going, "If something go, doesn't go right, I don't have any countries to go to. This is like-"

Joe Rogan 1:22:48 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:22:49 "... where am I, where am I going," right? So, [laughs] and so I, I write some jokes. They put them in the speech, and then, uh, Dana goes, "Do you mind looking over the speech? Because we wanna make sure that the tone of the speech is right." I'm going, "This is too much. This is too much responsibility." But I was honored. I, I read it and I said, "I personally don't think that the tone is correct. I think you're kind of talking down to them, and they're not going to like it." And he goes, [laughs] he goes, "Then rewrite the speech." And I'm going, "Okay." So I just changed. I, I didn't rewrite the speech, I just changed some tone of kind of putting them on the equal level as opposed to being, talking down to the Soviet leaders. They didn't appreciate that.

Joe Rogan 1:23:50 Can you explain how he was talking down?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:23:53 Uh, just teaching them that capitalism is so much better than what they got, and they should switch to that form of politics as opposed to kind of appreciate what they... And their, you know, their empire at that time that is still very big. So I didn't, I, I just felt that I would be just nicer and, and they liked it. They, they ch- changed some of these things that, and they kept it that way. And, um, so I don't know how, uh, Mitzi used to tell me, "You and Reagan changed the world." I go, [laughs] "Mitzi, you're right. I'm just telling jokes." She goes, "No, it was his secret weapon that he used to get to Gorbachev." Well, maybe there's some truth to that.

Joe Rogan 1:24:52 Well, certainly truth in that you kinda understood how they would receive-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:24:57 Right

Joe Rogan 1:24:57 ... what he was saying.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:24:58 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 1:24:58 That he was saying something that would-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:25:00 Right

Joe Rogan 1:25:00 ... they would become defensive-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:25:01 Exactly

Joe Rogan 1:25:01 ... and they would be offended by it.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:25:03 Exactly, exactly.

Joe Rogan 1:25:03 You know?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:25:04 Yeah, yeah. That, that was my concern that, but, you know, again-

Joe Rogan 1:25:09 Well, you know that culture way better than anybody else.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:25:12 Exactly, and that's what he was, he was asking me. I mean, at, at some point he goes, "How would you deal with Gorbachev?" He was literally, and it's like, and I'm, like, going, "Am I the most qualified person to answer this question?" And he goes, "You are, because you, you lived there 26 years. None of us politicians have." So he was really, uh, very receptive to my suggestions, whatever they, you know.

Joe Rogan 1:25:38 Mm. Wow. That had to be weird. I mean, you're talking to Ronald Reagan in the 1980s.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:25:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:25:46 "Well, Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that wall."

Yakov Smirnoff 1:25:52 I didn't write that joke. I did not. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:25:54 No, it wasn't a joke.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:25:55 It wasn't a joke.

Joe Rogan 1:25:56 But [laughs] –

Yakov Smirnoff 1:25:56 Yeah, yeah

Joe Rogan 1:25:56 ... but crazy that it actually happened.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:25:57 Changed the world. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:25:59 Changed the world.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:26:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:26:00 Literally changed the world.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:26:01 Changed my, my world for sure. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:26:03 Unfortunately. That's what's crazy. Well, it's crazy, isn't it?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:26:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:26:07 It's like, but that was the problem with the world back then, with only a few channels.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:26:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:26:13 They could just decide you were done-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:26:14 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:26:14 ... you were done.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:26:15 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:26:16 I mean, that, that happened to a lot of, like, if actors ran afoul of per- of certain people-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:26:23 Right

Joe Rogan 1:26:24 ... you got cast out, you got blackballed, and that was it.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:26:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:26:27 You never worked again.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:26:28 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:26:29 And that happened to a lot of people.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:26:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:26:31 You know?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:26:31 Well, I, I'm, I'm happy that I found Branson. I'm happy that I was able to adjust, you know. And it just, like, when, when you look at trajectory of my life, uh, I, I realize that that's one of my strong skills, to be able to adjust. Uh, coming, uh, just having the idea that I will be able to do comedy in America was insane for most people. They're-

Joe Rogan 1:27:01 Well, just adjusting from the culture of living in Russia to living in America-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:27:04 Right

Joe Rogan 1:27:05 ... is insane, too. You, you made a lot of adjustments.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:27:07 A lot. And, uh, when we were came, w- because we were coming through Italy, uh, to come to America, and they would, in Italy, they kept us three months to, uh, check all the documents and make sure that we're not, like, Communist Party, or, uh, don't have, uh, a record-

Joe Rogan 1:27:27 You're not a spy.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:27:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:27:28 Yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:27:28 Right, right, right.

Joe Rogan 1:27:29 Right, right.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:27:30 Mm. And we had to survive. That was another interesting moment of our life, because we're going, and they're, uh, uh, they, they wanted, they didn't want people to leave, because that looked bad for the Soviet Union. So they, uh, they would do all the, they would only, like, change you $100 per person, and you're supposed to survive, like, three months of living in, in a foreign country. And so, but they would give you a, a list of things that you could take with you. So, like, a c- uh, a photo camera, hat, something you could sell there to live on.

Joe Rogan 1:28:12 [sighs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:28:12 And yeah, and, uh, uh, two suitcases for each person, and very strict list of things. What was an interesting, uh, kind of loophole, we found out through the grapevine that, um, um, uh, uh, condoms was a very, uh, um, expensive item in Italy for some reason. In the Soviet Union, you could buy them for a penny, and in Italy, you could sell them for a dollar.

Joe Rogan 1:28:44 Mm.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:28:46 And so my quest was, like, when I've learned that, and there was no restriction how many you can take with you. So I would go to each pharmacy, whatever, whatever I could get-

Joe Rogan 1:28:57 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:28:58 ... and just, I s- I was, you know, [laughs] I, uh, uh, we got, like, half of the suitcase of condoms, and we put it in my mother's suitcase, so that way, hopefully nobody's gonna ask her what, what, why, you know.

Joe Rogan 1:29:15 Right.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:29:15 They would be embarrassed or whatever, so they didn't ask, and we got through. And so my job and my parents' job was to go on the open market every Saturday and Sunday and s- try to sell those condoms so we can pay rent, and food, and whatever else. So my parents, it was so funny how they transition. They were this, uh, two very conservative people, and they're embarrassed, but then they realize we need money to eat. So they would, Mom became pretty smart. She translated from Russian into, uh, uh, Italian, um, uh, "If you don't wanna have a kid like this," and would point at me, and would hold that card, and said, "Then buy a condom."

Joe Rogan 1:30:11 Bah. [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:30:13 And people would laugh. They would laugh, and they would-

Joe Rogan 1:30:18 Ugh

Yakov Smirnoff 1:30:18 ... and they would buy two or three. It was just more of a joke.

Joe Rogan 1:30:21 Right.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:30:22 But we were, we were, you know, surviving on that for a long time.

Joe Rogan 1:30:26 Wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:30:27 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:30:29 Wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:30:29 So yeah. So it was kind of bang for the buck, kind of a, you know, uh, it, it was not expected, but we survived. So a lot of those moments in life when you, I, I look at my life and I go, "V- that was a survival." Then coming to America and getting a job, and getting to, uh, God has, that helped you and me to become who we are. Uh, that's just- God's hand on that

Joe Rogan 1:31:03 That's amazing. Yeah, you adapted, man. You adapted multiple times. That's so crazy. God.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:31:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:31:10 Just sur- tr- trying to survive in Italy, you didn't speak Italian.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:31:14 No, no.

Joe Rogan 1:31:15 Did you guys speak anything other than Russian?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:31:17 No.

Joe Rogan 1:31:17 No.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:31:18 No.

Joe Rogan 1:31:18 Just Russian

Yakov Smirnoff 1:31:18 We just, but there was immigration, there was other Russian people that you could kind of communicate with. And I, uh, I would go, even in Italy, I would go to a movie theater, and I was so determined. There was one movie theater in Rome that would, for a dollar you can sit and watch English, uh, speaking movies, and you can sit there all day for a dollar. And so I would go, it was like my l- I was learning English, listening to, listening.

Joe Rogan 1:31:52 Mm.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:31:53 And, and, and then one time I remember a c- a, a couple, I, I needed to practice, and there was a couple, I asked them, "Uh, speak English?" And they s- yes. And the guy, the girl was from Belgium, the guy was from Washington DC, and, uh, they said, uh, "We'll help you, and we'll just come every week, like on Monday or some, whatever it was, and we'll just go to a coffee shop, and we'll talk to you so you can practice English." And I remember they asked me, um, like, "What, what did you do in Russia?" I said I was a comedian. Somehow through dictionary, whatever I could to make that. And, and, uh, and they said, "What, what do you want to accomplish, uh, when you're in, uh, in America?" And again, I don't know anything about America, and I have this, I asked them, I said, "Where is the most successful people, comedians perform?" And they said, "Las Vegas." And I said, "In five years," somehow I delivered, "I'll be in Las Vegas." And it's exactly what happened. Five years later, I was at the Tropicana Hotel with Murray Langston, the unknown comic, doing a show in Las Vegas.

Joe Rogan 1:33:27 I remember that guy with the paper bag over his head.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:33:29 Yep. Yep.

Joe Rogan 1:33:30 Yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:33:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:33:30 From The Gong Show.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:33:31 Yep.

Joe Rogan 1:33:32 Yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:33:32 Yes, yes.

Joe Rogan 1:33:33 Which was a great show.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:33:34 Yeah, it was a great show.

Joe Rogan 1:33:34 That was a crazy show.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:33:35 Yeah, it was kind of an early version of Kill Tony.

Joe Rogan 1:33:38 In a lot of ways.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:33:39 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:33:39 Yeah, in a lot of ways, 'cause some of the people were just, like, unbelievably untalented. [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:33:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:33:44 And then you would hit the gong.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:33:46 Exactly, and-

Joe Rogan 1:33:47 That show was great.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:33:48 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:33:49 Didn't they try to bring that back? Didn't they try to bring The Gong Show back at one point in time with someone else?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:33:54 I think they did.

Joe Rogan 1:33:55 Who did they bring it back with? Do you remember, Jamie?

Speaker 1:33:59 No.

Joe Rogan 1:33:59 But do you remember? You don't remember.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:34:01 I don't, yeah.

Speaker 1:34:01 Top of my head, no.

Joe Rogan 1:34:03 It was someone that you're like, "Huh, I wonder why they chose that person."

Speaker 1:34:10 Actually, oh, yeah, 2000... Oh, Dave Attell.

Joe Rogan 1:34:13 Oh, it was Da- that's right.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:34:15 Who was it?

Joe Rogan 1:34:16 It was Dave Attell.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:34:17 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:34:19 That's right. It was 2012?

Speaker 1:34:21 Well, it says briefly in 2008, and then again in 2017, and then I don't think he was involved in that one.

Joe Rogan 1:34:27 Oh. Two, so 2008, is that what you said?

Speaker 1:34:30 Yep.

Joe Rogan 1:34:31 Wow. Yeah, he's perfect for that. The problem is once a show's been done, you try to redo it-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:34:38 Right

Joe Rogan 1:34:39 ... it's like, it's always gonna be eh.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:34:39 Right. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:34:40 There's been the three different versions of Fear Factor now. You know, there's like, now they're doing it with Johnny Knoxville. Uh, it's, uh, kinda crazy, like, the amount of different things that have happened in your life, you know? And then now to find yourself with another revival because of Kill Tony.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:34:57 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:34:57 Like-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:34:58 Yes. And, and going back on tour, I have a, I have a poster, I don't know if, uh, people on the radio can't see it.

Joe Rogan 1:35:04 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:35:05 But I have a poster of, of my tour.

Joe Rogan 1:35:08 Well, we'll, that's, we'll send it to the website so you have to look at a picture.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:35:10 Yeah, so I am, I'm excited.

Joe Rogan 1:35:12 You'll be on tour again.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:35:13 My-

Joe Rogan 1:35:13 And where are you going, to comedy clubs?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:35:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:35:15 All over the place?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:35:16 Yeah, yeah. Uh, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:35:17 Oh, that's-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:35:17 ... Atlanta is the next one.

Joe Rogan 1:35:19 No one can read that.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:35:19 Oh, okay. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:35:20 Yeah, put that down. They'll, they'll, they'll go to the website. Jamie'll pull up the website. [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:35:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:35:24 You got Bronson-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:35:25 And it's on yakov.com, yeah

Joe Rogan 1:35:27 ... Yakov Bronson.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:35:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:35:29 That's hilarious, man. So what was the Kill Tony experience like?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:35:32 It was great. I mean, I am, um, [laughs] obviously my sh- my, my show is kind of, uh, G- uh, G-rated, and so, uh, Kill Tony is not. And, uh, so, but yet it was-

Joe Rogan 1:35:49 It doesn't matter

Yakov Smirnoff 1:35:49 ... it doesn't matter.

Joe Rogan 1:35:50 It doesn't matter.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:35:51 He, he was so respectful of, of this, uh, t- uh, Tony, and set me up, you know. I mean, I, I felt like my head was this big, and, um, he was seeing me as a super legend and, and I am, I'm very grateful. It's hard for me sometimes to accept that, that people see me, because I've been doing this for 60 years. 60 years comedy. That's-

Joe Rogan 1:36:18 That's crazy

Yakov Smirnoff 1:36:19 ... yeah. So-

Joe Rogan 1:36:20 Well, I remember the first time we met. We met at the Comedy Store.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:36:23 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 1:36:24 Ooh, I wanna say, was that, like, 15 years ago or something like that?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:36:27 Probably, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:36:28 You, you dropped in-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:36:29 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:36:29 ... and I'd never seen, and I was like, "Oh, like, what is he doing in town?"

Yakov Smirnoff 1:36:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:36:33 And you just decided you wanted to come by the store-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:36:35 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:36:35 ... and see what was going on with the young guys, and do some standup.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:36:37 I was-

Joe Rogan 1:36:37 And we hung out for a little bit in the, in the green room. I'm like-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:36:40 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:36:40 ... and I remember telling everybody, "Yakov Smirnoff's really funny, man.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:36:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:36:43 He's fucking cool."

Yakov Smirnoff 1:36:44 Thank you. Thank you. That's-

Joe Rogan 1:36:46 It was fun. It was fun to hang out with you, you know? It was like, it was fun to see you hanging out with all these ... weirdo, young-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:36:52 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:36:52 ... pot smoking [laughs] fucking animals.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:36:55 Coming from Branson, right?

Joe Rogan 1:36:57 Yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:36:57 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:36:57 You were coming from Branson.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:36:58 Totally.

Joe Rogan 1:36:58 You're hanging out with Joey Diaz, and [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:37:01 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:37:01 We were laughing, though.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:37:02 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:37:02 We had a good time, man.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:37:04 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:37:04 It was a, it was a really good time.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:37:05 It was fun. It, it's fun. And I go back, uh, to clubs, and I, my goal was really to, uh, last year, I would go to small clubs and develop an hour of material that is totally current. I talk about relationships. I talk about, uh, having a one-year-old in my life. I talk, and, and it's, and interesting, I was doing it at m- uh, at, uh, uh, your club, and it, it's great to watch, uh, uh, the, uh, the reaction of the audience, how they have a lot of respect, but they're also laughing, and they're seeing. It, it's fun because I talk about relationships, so they might come in disconnected. But then, all of the sudden, you see how they put their hands next to each other, and then they're both-

Joe Rogan 1:37:57 Aw.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:37:58 Yeah, yeah. But I like it. I-

Joe Rogan 1:37:59 Look at you. You're a uniter.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:38:01 I, I-

Joe Rogan 1:38:01 You're bringing couples closer together with your comedy. [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:38:04 I, I, that's really my goal. I-

Joe Rogan 1:38:06 I like that you like that. That's very cool.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:38:09 I enjoy, I enjoy seeing families. Uh, uh, like Nate Bargatze is really the one who kind of got me out of Branson because he, um, shown that, that there's a need for that, um, humor.

Joe Rogan 1:38:25 Yes.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:38:25 And families come, and when you go to his show, it's like looking around.

Joe Rogan 1:38:29 Yep.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:38:30 See grandma, and, and, and grandchildren and parents.

Joe Rogan 1:38:34 But everyone's laughing.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:38:35 Exactly.

Joe Rogan 1:38:35 The thing about Nate that's so unique is Nate is hilarious to me.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:38:39 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:38:39 Nate is hilarious to a 20-year-old-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:38:42 Yes

Joe Rogan 1:38:42 ... kid in college.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:38:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:38:43 Nate is hilarious to their grandmother.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:38:46 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:38:46 Nate is hilarious to your children. You could bring your-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:38:48 That's

Joe Rogan 1:38:48 ... 10-year-old kids to see Nate. Nate is a genius, and he's g- and that is who he is all the time.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:38:54 I agree.

Joe Rogan 1:38:54 He's like a really-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:38:56 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:38:56 ... funny, very smart guy-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:38:58 Yes

Joe Rogan 1:38:59 ... who's got a perfect style. It's like-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:39:01 So I-

Joe Rogan 1:39:02 It's, I mean, he... Didn't he make, like, the most money ever-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:39:05 Yeah, yeah

Joe Rogan 1:39:06 ... or something like that-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:39:06 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:39:06 ... last year doing stand-up?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:39:07 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:39:07 Sold the most tickets ever?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:39:08 $80 million, right.

Joe Rogan 1:39:09 Or something crazy. But it, it's like he's doing this, like selling out stadiums two times in a night.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:39:15 Exactly.

Joe Rogan 1:39:16 Yeah, and he does, like, 3:00 PM shows. It's nuts.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:39:19 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:39:19 It's, it's incredible.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:39:20 But it shows that there's a need for that.

Joe Rogan 1:39:23 Well, it shows that it doesn't matter. It's just funny. Like, Brian Regan's another great example.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:39:28 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 1:39:29 Brian Regan, squeaky clean.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:39:30 Yep.

Joe Rogan 1:39:30 Un-fucking-believably funny.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:39:32 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:39:32 So talented.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:39:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:39:33 So funny.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:39:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:39:35 And it's just funny. It doesn't have to be-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:39:38 Yes

Joe Rogan 1:39:38 ... clean or dirty or... And we have that at the club, too. I mean, this is like, the club gets labeled as some, like, kind of extreme anti-woke thing. It's nonsense. Like, the-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:39:48 I played, I performed there-

Joe Rogan 1:39:50 Yeah

Yakov Smirnoff 1:39:50 ... at your club a couple of weeks ago. They totally loved it. Nobody expected anything, and they just enjoyed. They laughed all the way through. I love doing that. So to me, I see young people who don't know me, and they're totally relating, and I'm relating to them, which is great. That's what I wanna do.

Joe Rogan 1:40:10 And you're a human being. We're human beings telling jokes. That's it.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:40:12 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:40:12 That's, that's all it is. And, and if, comedy done correctly is done from your perspective.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:40:17 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:40:17 Whether your perspective is Nate Bargatze or your perspective is fucking, you know, fill in the blank, Dave Attell.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:40:22 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 1:40:23 Whoever it is.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:40:23 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:40:24 Joey Diaz, Brian Holzman.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:40:25 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:40:25 Like, whatever it is. It doesn't, it doesn't matter. It's like, it's what's funny is funny.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:40:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:40:29 And it might not be your thing. Like, that's the thing, too. The, one of the problems with comedy is that there's only one, there's, like, one label, and you might go see, like, Brian Holzman, who's, like, death metal comedy. [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:40:40 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 1:40:40 Or you might see Nate Bargatze-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:40:42 Right

Joe Rogan 1:40:42 ... who's, like, you know.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:40:43 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:40:43 I don't know what's the, you know, what's equivalent.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:40:46 Well, uh, Leanne Morgan is another one that was kind of out of nowhere, uh, became very successful because she has that, uh, clean Southern humor, and, um, the, Netflix embraced her, and all of the sudden, she is touring and doing concerts, you know?

Joe Rogan 1:41:08 Yeah. All you have to do is be funny.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:41:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:41:10 It's, like, funny from whatever perspective you're coming from. And again, it's not gonna be for everybody.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:41:15 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:41:15 That's just how it is.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:41:16 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 1:41:16 There's a lot of people that aren't gonna like A or B. It doesn't matter.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:41:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:41:20 It doesn't matter. It's just-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:41:21 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:41:21 ... but the thing about comedy is, like, when you go to a comedy club, you don't know what you're gonna get. You might get Run DMC, or you might get AC/DC. You have no idea.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:41:29 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 1:41:30 It's just, it's all just comedy.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:41:32 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:41:32 But I think that's one of the cool things about it.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:41:34 Right. And I, um, and I totally agree with you, and I want to, uh, be able to do that one-hour straight comedy. No, uh, uh, there was an interesting thing that happened, uh, about a, a year ago or so. Um, I, a, a, a young comedian, uh, um, he, he said, "You know, I, I, I was writing some jokes," and he was helping me, and he said, "Yakov, do you know that you're not a stand-up comedian? You're a one-man show." And I go, at first, I was like, kind of, "What? What are you talking about?" And because I tell, I tell, in Branson, it's, like, more storytelling and not just punch line, punch line, punch line. And, and he was, he was correct. So I, at, at first, I got kind of f- like, "What do you mean? Who are you to tell me I'm not a stand-up comedian?" And then I go, uh, "ChatGPT, uh, is Yakov a stand-up comedian, or is he one-man show?" And ChatGPT said, "Yakov Smirnoff used to be a stand-up comedian, and now he's a one-man show." And now, coming from ChatGPT, I'm going, "Dang."

Joe Rogan 1:42:58 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:42:59 That's That's now official?

Joe Rogan 1:43:02 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:43:03 Wait a minute. So it took me a whole year to rewrite everything that I needed to rewrite to say it's punchline, punchline. It's just straight comedy. So I became a stand-up comedian again.

Joe Rogan 1:43:18 Well, there's nothing wrong with one-man show stand-up comedy either, 'cause some people do their comedy like a one-man show, and some of the best comics, like Colin Quinn. Colin Quinn does a series of one-man shows. But if you ask ChatGPT, "Who is Colin Quinn?"

Yakov Smirnoff 1:43:33 Yeah. Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:43:33 ... it'll say he's a stand-up comedian.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:43:35 Right. But, uh, uh, the ChatGPT got me wrong, whatever it was.

Joe Rogan 1:43:40 [laughs] It doesn't know.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:43:40 Whatever it was.

Joe Rogan 1:43:41 It's not even a person.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:43:42 It doesn't... Right.

Joe Rogan 1:43:43 Fuck ChatGPT.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:43:43 But, but, but it's actually helped me to, um, tune in, uh, my comedy.

Joe Rogan 1:43:50 Mm-hmm.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:43:50 And, uh, i- because I was maybe a little bit, uh, more relaxed being in my own theater with all s- people coming to see me.

Joe Rogan 1:44:00 Right.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:44:01 So it's not like you're in a club when you're, like-

Joe Rogan 1:44:03 Right

Yakov Smirnoff 1:44:04 ... uh, with other comedians when you have to be really, really sharp.

Joe Rogan 1:44:08 Yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:44:08 And that's what I think it did for me, so I spent a year doing that. Now I have that hour, and I'm ready to go, and that's why I, I went on the tour.

Joe Rogan 1:44:19 That's awesome.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:44:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:44:21 I lo- I love when comics are still interested in it and l- still writing and still-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:44:25 Absolutely

Joe Rogan 1:44:26 ... love it after all these years.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:44:27 A- absolutely.

Joe Rogan 1:44:28 You know who I, I draw some inspiration from as well? Is Argus Hamilton.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:44:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:44:32 Argus-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:44:33 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:44:33 ... is still killing it.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:44:34 Yes. Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:44:35 Still killing it-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:44:36 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:44:36 ... in LA.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:44:36 Keeps going.

Joe Rogan 1:44:37 And every time there's something new in the news, he's got a, always got a great fucking line about it.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:44:41 He, he-

Joe Rogan 1:44:41 He's a funny dude.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:44:42 He is. He is.

Joe Rogan 1:44:43 And he's still getting after it.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:44:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:44:44 He still loves it.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:44:45 Yeah. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:44:46 And you know, Argus used to, like famously, be into the substances, and, uh, now-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:44:50 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:44:50 ... all he does is run.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:44:52 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:44:52 And I remember one time we were, uh, at The Comedy Store, and we were in the parking lot, and it was, uh, after the show, and Argus showed up with fucking running shoes on, just r- ran in. And I'm like, "What are you doing, man?" And he's like, "I, I have to run every day."

Yakov Smirnoff 1:45:05 And do a set.

Joe Rogan 1:45:06 Yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:45:06 Because to him, that's his motivation.

Joe Rogan 1:45:08 Mm-hmm.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:45:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:45:08 And he does, like... I think he runs, like 10 miles a day.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:45:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:45:11 He's in his 70s.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:45:12 Yeah. And, uh, interesting that, you know, and I was so naive because, uh, Argus was, uh, very friendly with Mitzi. Um, and I, I would go to their house, and I would see Argus there in the morning, and I was like, "W- why is..." You know? And I, I couldn't connect those two things.

Joe Rogan 1:45:33 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:45:34 I mean, I, I could not. I, I mean, honestly, it was, it was... I, I'll tell you how naive I was. Uh, so Mitzi gives me that work, right, up, um, and I live in that house, and Andrew Dice Clay moves into that house, right?

Joe Rogan 1:45:50 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:45:51 And Andrew teaches me English, okay?

Joe Rogan 1:45:54 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:45:54 Can you imagine that?

Joe Rogan 1:45:55 Ugh.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:45:56 Robbie Dob-dob.

Joe Rogan 1:45:57 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:45:59 And so, but, but that was a party house. I mean, this was a house where, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:46:05 Was Kinison living there then?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:46:06 Kinison would just hang out there all the time. And, uh, they would scream at each other, Andrew and, uh, uh, and, uh, Kinison. And, and that was just kind of a joke between those two, and they'd go, "Ah, ah." And I would have to go to bed because I gotta get up early in the morning to go work, and those guys are screaming at each other, uh, just for fun.

Joe Rogan 1:46:33 Mm.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:46:33 And I go downstairs, and I go, "Hey, guys. You're friends. Stop." So I'm- we're playing this joke, and they're, "Yeah, ooh," screaming. And I go, "You know what? Why don't you... You're close to The Comedy Store. Why don't you go downstairs and scream there?" And they look at each other and go, "Okay. Let's go." So it's midnight, and we're all going, whoever lived there, going to The Comedy Store, and Sam gets on stage and starts screaming. This is the first time that he ever got on stage, and he went to the... And, uh, very few people in the audience. And he went into their face, "Ah, you stupid."

Joe Rogan 1:47:19 No way.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:47:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:47:20 That's where it came from?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:47:22 That's where it came from.

Joe Rogan 1:47:23 Whoa.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:47:23 And then after that, it just became, like his, his thing, and y- the rest is history.

Joe Rogan 1:47:30 That's crazy.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:47:31 Yeah. That was, that was happening there. A lot of stuff was happening there. They would come and do drugs, you know, like, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:47:41 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:47:41 ... Robin and Richard, Richard Pryor, they would do... And I... Tells you this is silly, but I would wake up in the morning, and I would see a mirror on the table, right?

Joe Rogan 1:47:56 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:47:56 Okay? So bear with me. So... And there's, like, white powder on the table.

Joe Rogan 1:48:02 So you'd clean it up.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:48:03 I was thinking they're eating donuts off the mirror. So I would clean whatever it was-

Joe Rogan 1:48:10 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:48:10 ... hang it up, and next morning I go, "Argus, why don't you guys use plates? You have a dishwasher. Why..." And they would laugh at me, and they wouldn't tell me what's going on.

Joe Rogan 1:48:23 But weren't they mad that you threw away their coke?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:48:24 No. No. There was not much.

Joe Rogan 1:48:26 Residue.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:48:26 I mean, it was just... Yeah. But there was residue.

Joe Rogan 1:48:28 Tossing it out.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:48:28 I, I had no idea. I wasn't t- testing it.

Joe Rogan 1:48:31 That's how much coke they had, that they left some of it on the mirror.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:48:34 That... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:48:34 Isn't that crazy?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:48:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:48:35 That's crazy.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:48:37 It, it was, and but I didn't know, so I kind of lived in that wholesome kind of a world, in that crazy-

Joe Rogan 1:48:46 So you were there while Kinison was developing.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:48:49 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:48:49 Wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:48:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:48:51 Did he arrive at the Store around the same time that you did?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:48:55 A little bit later.

Joe Rogan 1:48:56 Little later.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:48:56 Yeah. Little later.

Joe Rogan 1:48:57 Well, like what year did he arrive?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:48:59 Probably '79, I would say.

Joe Rogan 1:49:03 And he really hit-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:49:03 Let me probably look it up

Joe Rogan 1:49:04 ... around, like, what? '85-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:49:06 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:49:07 ... '86?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:49:07 Yes. Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:49:08 I think '85 he did Letterman.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:49:11 Yes. Yes, I would say-

Joe Rogan 1:49:13 And then '86, he had that HBO special that blew him up.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:49:16 Probably.

Joe Rogan 1:49:17 Yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:49:17 Probably. But-

Joe Rogan 1:49:19 You know how I found out about Kinison? It's a funny story. I've told it before. I apologize if the audience has heard it. I was working at a health club, at a, a gym called the Boston Athletic Club in South Boston.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:49:31 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:49:31 And I was a trainer. I would teach people how to lift weights. And there was this girl who was a volleyball player. She was hilarious. She was this big girl, big athletic girl. She was very funny. She was just like b- boisterous, like a really loud, funny lady, and she was like my age. And, um, she told me about Kinison, and then she told me about his bit. She's like, "Oh my God, I saw this guy on HBO." She had a, like heavy Boston accent. "This guy on HBO, he was so fucking hilarious, and he did this bit about, uh, people having sex with corpses." [laughs] And so she does this bit.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:50:03 Huh.

Joe Rogan 1:50:04 She laid down in the parking lot of the Boston Athletic Club and did that bit.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:50:09 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:50:09 So Kinison had a very famous bit about homosexual necrophiliacs who were paying money to spend-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:50:16 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:50:16 ... moments alone with the freshest male corpses. So she's lying down on the parking lot, i- on the ground in the parking lot. She's... And she's like, and like, "Oh, I'm gonna lie down." She, she did the whole thing. "I'm gonna be with Jesus, and now I'm dead. Oh, what is this?"

Yakov Smirnoff 1:50:32 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:50:33 "Feels like someone's fucking me in the ass. You mean, life keeps fucking you in the ass even after you're dead? It never ends."

Yakov Smirnoff 1:50:39 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:50:39 So she was doing his bit, and I was laughing at her doing his bit. I'm like, "I gotta see this guy. This is crazy."

Yakov Smirnoff 1:50:46 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:50:46 So that was my introduction-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:50:48 You had discovered-

Joe Rogan 1:50:48 ... to Sam Kinison

Yakov Smirnoff 1:50:49 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:50:49 My friend lying on her stomach doing an impression. I'll never forget that, man, 'cause I was 19 years old. I remember that, and I remember think- So it was '86. So I remember thinking, "This is crazy."

Yakov Smirnoff 1:51:02 Unbelievable. That's, that's-

Joe Rogan 1:51:03 It was so... I had no desire to do comedy back then. I wasn't even thinking about it. It wasn't even on my radar. It was never even a thought. I loved comedy. I loved watching it, but I never thought about doing it.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:51:13 So what made you... What was the, the transition when you started wanting to do-

Joe Rogan 1:51:18 Well, I was, uh, heavily invested in martial arts.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:51:22 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:51:22 That's all I wanted to do.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:51:23 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 1:51:23 All I wanted... It was, my, my goal was to compete, and that's all I was doing. That's the reason why I got the job at the gym, so that I could have a place that I could work out, and also I could make money there. And, um, my friends that I used to train with, they're the ones who told me to do comedy. But I was like, "Listen, you laugh at me because you're also psychos. Like, the things I'm saying are fucking crazy."

Yakov Smirnoff 1:51:48 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:51:48 Like, you're... We're all fighters. We're all traveling around the country fighting. Like, this is not a normal activity. You're, these, this is not normal humor. But my good friend Steve Graham, who I'm still friends with to this day, he's the one who talked me into doing it. And then I went to an open mic night, and I realized, oh, everybody sucks in the beginning. Like, it's just like martial arts.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:52:06 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 1:52:06 You start off, you suck-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:52:07 Right

Joe Rogan 1:52:07 ... and then you get better at it. But my introduction to comedy was that lady. Really, my introduction to Kinison, rather. The idea... 'Cause I, when I saw Kinison, I was like, oh, comedy is a lot of different things.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:52:19 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:52:20 It's different. There's a lot of different forms to it.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:52:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:52:22 'Cause I always saw guys like Jerry Seinfeld who were very funny-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:52:26 Yes

Joe Rogan 1:52:26 ... and they tell these jokes, but I never thought that was me. I couldn't do that.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:52:29 Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 1:52:30 But I saw Kinison, I was like, oh, this is a bunch of different kinds of comedy.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:52:33 Right. Right.

Joe Rogan 1:52:33 This is very interesting. And then when I started out in '88, boy, the guys in Boston used to talk about The Comedy Store like it was Mecca. Like, you had to go there. You had to go to The Store. The Store was where Richard Pryor started, and Sam Kinison-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:52:51 Right

Joe Rogan 1:52:51 ... and all the, all these comics. And David Letterman. They all made... They all came out of The Store. Bill Hicks, the-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:52:56 Yes

Joe Rogan 1:52:56 ... you know, he was a doorman at The Store.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:52:58 Yes. Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:52:58 And everybody talked about The Store. It was one of those things where it was like, you know, you had to go there. And then, uh, when I first maybe, uh, got on a television show, I flew out to LA to do a pilot, and that was the first time I ever went to The Store, and I remember being so weirded out just being in the building. Like, wow, I can't believe I'm at The Comedy Store.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:53:19 Now, when you, when did you meet Mitzi?

Joe Rogan 1:53:22 I met Mitzi in '94.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:53:24 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:53:24 So I did the pilot. The pilot would end up getting picked up. And then I came out, and I was on a TV show that, it wa- it only lasted like six episodes. It was called Hardball. It was a sitcom about a baseball team.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:53:36 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 1:53:37 And I played the star player. I played this crazy dude who was always crashing his Lamborghini and his... That, that kind of shit, you know? And so, um, I would spend my nights every night at The Store. I didn't have any friends, and I didn't know anybody there. So I just would just go to the set, and then after the set I'd go hang out at The Store. And then I eventually, uh, Mitzi, uh, showcased me. I got, uh, became a non-paid regular.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:54:02 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:54:02 So I got to go on-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:54:03 Right

Joe Rogan 1:54:03 ... after the comedians performed.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:54:04 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:54:05 So the way it worked at The Comedy Store, they'd have a show that was scheduled from like 8:00 PM to like 1:00 AM or close to it, and then aft- it was probably like really midnight, but it always was like 1:00 AM-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:54:16 Right. Right

Joe Rogan 1:54:16 ... by the time I got on.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:54:17 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:54:18 And then I would go on after everybody else.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:54:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:54:20 And I did that for a few months. And then she passed me, and I remember thinking like when, when she passed me, like, I was like, "Oh, no, I, I think I could be a comedian now. Like, this is... I actually can make a living doing this." 'Cause before then I wasn't sure.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:54:34 Right. Right.

Joe Rogan 1:54:35 Even though I was getting paid-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:54:36 Right

Joe Rogan 1:54:36 ... and I would do comedy, I'd get paid to do comedy-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:54:38 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:54:38 ... it was still like very iffy.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:54:40 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:54:40 I'd bomb a lot. It was like, it wasn't-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:54:42 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:54:43 Also, it was like in the middle of this sitcom, so I was, I was working all day, and I w- I didn't want to do that anymore. I mean, I, I liked it 'cause it paid a lot of money, but it wasn't really my thing. I wasn't into acting that much. It was, to me it was like comedy was more exciting. It was live.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:55:00 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:55:00 Live audiences. The sitcom thing was fun 'cause you got to use like your skills in, in telling jokes-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:55:05 Right

Joe Rogan 1:55:05 ... as a comedian, but it wasn't the same thing. And then I got Newsradio, which b- was a much more, uh, a much better show. And then, then I was like, "Well, this is different. This is, there's other levels to this." And that's how I met Hartman and all those other people. But it was, to me the most important thing was getting passed at The Store. I was like, "Wow." That was more important to me than getting a sitcom or anything. I was like, "I can't believe it."

Yakov Smirnoff 1:55:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:55:29 I got past... My name's on the wall of the fucking Comedy Store.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:55:32 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:55:33 I'm like, wow. It was so exciting.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:55:35 In, in lights too now, right? Do you have it... Is it in neon inside?

Joe Rogan 1:55:40 Yeah. Yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:55:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:55:41 I'm, I'm on the wall inside.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:55:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:55:43 It's just like this lady, Mitzi Shore, like people don't understand, she was the most important figure outside of all the comedians, the most important figure of, in comedy.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:55:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:55:52 By far. There was no one like her.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:55:54 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:55:54 She was... And she was a mentor.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:55:57 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:55:57 She was like a, she was a, she was a curator of a mental health asylum. [laughs] Like, that was her role.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:56:04 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:56:05 And she would joke around about it. She's like, "The inmates are running the asylum."

Yakov Smirnoff 1:56:09 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:56:10 And that was, uh, originally when we came to, uh, Texas, I was gonna call it The Asylum.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:56:16 Really?

Joe Rogan 1:56:16 Yeah, 'cause I thought as a nod-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:56:18 [laughs] Mothership is much better

Joe Rogan 1:56:19 ... as a nod to Mitzi... Yeah, yeah, yeah. It turned out that-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:56:22 Much better

Joe Rogan 1:56:22 ... but as a nod to Mitzi, the idea was that, like, 'cause she was always saying, "The inmates are running the asylum."

Yakov Smirnoff 1:56:29 Yeah. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:56:29 She would say that all the time when we were there. Like, she encouraged it. She liked when comedians were out of their fucking minds.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:56:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:56:35 She, she loved it. She loved that environment.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:56:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:56:37 And so the, as a nod to her, we were gonna call it The Asylum. But then I was like, one of the things that someone said, 'cause, you know, Ron White was the first guy to move here. He was really, like, patient zero in the Austin Comedy Experience and the new version of the Austin Comedy Experience, and he was like, "It's at the center of the country. I love it 'cause I can fly to New York, I can go to Florida, I can go everywhere. It's in the middle. You know, it's not, like, the, the flights aren't as long. People are nice. I love it here." And I was like, "Oh, well, it's like the mothership, and then all the other places, like, lynch, launch out."

Yakov Smirnoff 1:57:11 That's where it got you, huh?

Joe Rogan 1:57:13 Yeah. And also I'm ob- obsessed with UFOs.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:57:15 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:57:16 Obviously.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:57:16 I can see, right.

Joe Rogan 1:57:17 Yeah. Obviously.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:57:18 Yeah. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:57:18 I have a bit of a UFO problem.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:57:20 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:57:21 So that's why we called it The Mothership, but I mean, the bar's named Mitzi's.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:57:24 Yes. Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:57:25 You know?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:57:25 And it was, I, you know, losing her that early, I still think she went too early, you know, and-

Joe Rogan 1:57:33 Well, for me it was like she suffered for so long.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:57:36 Yeah, that's true.

Joe Rogan 1:57:36 It was, it was really hard to see her, uh, you know, she had a neurological condition-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:57:41 Yes

Joe Rogan 1:57:41 ... later in her life. It was very hard to see her.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:57:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:57:43 She would come around the store and-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:57:45 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:57:46 ... but, you know, she nurtured so many comedians and, and helped us all. And n- not always, like sometimes she had terrible advice. [laughs] She would change your whole act, make you have a fake name. She tried to ch- turn Joey Diaz into Fat Baby.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:58:01 Is that right?

Joe Rogan 1:58:01 That was his nickname or his name. So on the lineup, instead of Joey Diaz, it would say Fat Baby.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:58:07 Ah.

Joe Rogan 1:58:09 [laughs] She did that for, like, a couple years.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:58:12 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:58:13 Yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:58:14 Wow, didn't know that.

Joe Rogan 1:58:14 It was nuts. Yeah, you can find some of the old lineups. Uh, Jamie's found them before online. It'll still, like, a lineup from, like, 2001 or something like that-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:58:22 Uh-huh

Joe Rogan 1:58:22 ... it says Fat Baby.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:58:23 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:58:24 That's what she was calling him.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:58:26 Yeah. And, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:58:27 She was a special person.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:58:29 Yeah, she was.

Joe Rogan 1:58:29 Such a special person, and just that lady loved having that place. She was, she knew that there was something going on there, and there had been something going on there that was very unique in the world of comedy, and it was necessary, you know-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:58:44 Right

Joe Rogan 1:58:44 ... to, to have a place like that where the comics all felt at home.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:58:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:58:48 Like, we would perform at other places. Like, we would do sets at The Improv. We would do sets at the... I remember one time I did New Year's at The Improv, and I came back to the club and Harris Pete says, "I love it. You go over there, you do your shows, but you come back home."

Yakov Smirnoff 1:59:03 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:59:03 I was like, "Yeah, we're all, this is our home. This is our-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:59:06 Yeah

Joe Rogan 1:59:06 ... our weird fucking home."

Yakov Smirnoff 1:59:08 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:59:08 You know, the home for lost children.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:59:11 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 1:59:12 Like, Mitzi would call it the, the h- home for the island of broken toys.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:59:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:59:16 Just a bunch of weirdos. You know?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:59:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:59:18 And, but all, like, like, feeding off of each other.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:59:22 But to be able to see somebody who is barely speaks English and does five minutes and, and spot him somehow.

Joe Rogan 1:59:35 Well, she loves developing comics.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:59:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:59:37 She loved developing comics.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:59:39 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:59:39 She loved finding a comic and, and, and getting them.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:59:42 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:59:43 Which is one of the problems with, like, she didn't... It's really interesting, like, Jerry Seinfeld went, and she didn't pass him because he was already developed.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:59:50 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:59:51 Isn't that crazy?

Yakov Smirnoff 1:59:51 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:59:52 Like, she didn't like that.

Yakov Smirnoff 1:59:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:59:53 She, she- [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 1:59:53 He was already, he's done. He's done, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:59:56 She liked taking people when they were really raw-

Yakov Smirnoff 1:59:58 That's true. That's true

Joe Rogan 1:59:59 ... and shaping them.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:00:00 Roseanne was her big project-

Joe Rogan 2:00:03 Sure

Yakov Smirnoff 2:00:03 ... for sure.

Joe Rogan 2:00:03 Yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:00:04 She came from-

Joe Rogan 2:00:04 She had a lot of big projects

Yakov Smirnoff 2:00:05 ... Denver, yeah, and, uh, and, and so is, um, uh, Jim Carrey.

Joe Rogan 2:00:10 Mm-hmm.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:00:11 Uh, and many, many others.

Joe Rogan 2:00:13 She also had, like, very specific, like, techniques she would use to test you. Like, she would always take comics and put them on, like, especially young, new ones, after all the, the really good comics.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:00:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:00:24 Like she did with you.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:00:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:00:25 When you're talking about, like, doing that set-

Yakov Smirnoff 2:00:26 Yeah

Joe Rogan 2:00:26 ... Richard Pryor's going up-

Yakov Smirnoff 2:00:28 Yeah, yeah

Joe Rogan 2:00:28 ... and Robin Williams, and that's what she would do.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:00:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:00:31 She would take young comics that she thought had potential, and she would shove them-

Yakov Smirnoff 2:00:35 Yeah

Joe Rogan 2:00:35 ... after the biggest names.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:00:36 Yes.

Joe Rogan 2:00:36 And people that were killing.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:00:38 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sure.

Joe Rogan 2:00:39 She was a, such a unique person, and such an important person in comedy.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:00:44 And, and Peter, um, uh, that was a big moment of my life. I went to her funeral, and Peter, her son, in, asked me to be one of the pallbearers in her, um, funeral, and I felt like full circle, you know?

Joe Rogan 2:01:01 That's awesome.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:01:02 She gave me my life, you know, to, in a totally different way. If I didn't meet her, God knows what, what I would be doing.

Joe Rogan 2:01:10 No, I mean, she, she helped all of us, and I think, uh, it's one of the reasons why we talk about her so much.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:01:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:01:16 And it's the reason why we named the bar after her.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:01:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:01:19 Just to, in the spirit of what she was trying to do at the store, we try to do at The Mothership.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:01:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:01:24 So all the weirdos. Welcome, weirdos. [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 2:01:26 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 2:01:27 Welcome, weirdos.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:01:28 I'm in.

Joe Rogan 2:01:28 Let's have fun.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:01:29 Yeah. I'm in. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:01:30 Yeah. Let's, let's go.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:01:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:01:31 How many times have you, uh, performed at the club now? Just two very quick sets.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:01:35 Twice. Twice.

Joe Rogan 2:01:36 Yeah?

Yakov Smirnoff 2:01:37 Yeah. Yeah. It, it, it's feels like- The, the original room, uh, the little room, the little boys room

Joe Rogan 2:01:44 Well, you know what I say? That it's like the little room is like if the original room and the belly room had a baby.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:01:51 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 2:01:51 And then the big room is like the original room and the main room had a baby

Yakov Smirnoff 2:01:56 Yes. Right, right, right

Joe Rogan 2:01:57 It's ve- very-

Yakov Smirnoff 2:01:58 It's true

Joe Rogan 2:01:58 ... very close

Yakov Smirnoff 2:01:59 It's true

Joe Rogan 2:01:59 Yeah

Yakov Smirnoff 2:01:59 It's true. But you've done a great job. It feels, it feels like home when you walk in there. It feels great

Joe Rogan 2:02:04 Well, I basically copied everything that I learned from her-

Yakov Smirnoff 2:02:07 Yeah

Joe Rogan 2:02:07 ... and added more-

Yakov Smirnoff 2:02:09 Yes

Joe Rogan 2:02:09 ... stuff-

Yakov Smirnoff 2:02:10 Yes

Joe Rogan 2:02:10 ... that the comedians-

Yakov Smirnoff 2:02:11 It looks awesome

Joe Rogan 2:02:11 ... requested

Yakov Smirnoff 2:02:12 And, uh, it's interesting that I was helping to build that belly room, and then Kill Tony started-

Joe Rogan 2:02:20 Yeah

Yakov Smirnoff 2:02:20 ... in the belly room

Joe Rogan 2:02:21 Yeah. You might've been the last person to work on that belly room, too, because that, that fucking room scares the shit out of me. I've, I've been to in the bottom, like, in the, the, uh, bar area ordering a drink, and, like, Roast Battle will be on stage, and you see the ceiling move, and you're like, "Jesus, Yakov, get back up there with a fucking hammer and f- [laughs] f- add some support," like [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 2:02:45 I'm not taking the responsibility.

Joe Rogan 2:02:47 Uh-

Yakov Smirnoff 2:02:47 I was just doing, uh, booths and-

Joe Rogan 2:02:49 Oh, okay, okay

Yakov Smirnoff 2:02:50 ... yeah

Joe Rogan 2:02:50 You didn't do any structure

Yakov Smirnoff 2:02:51 So I wasn't doing structure, no, no, no, no

Joe Rogan 2:02:52 Okay, that's good. Somebody was [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 2:02:54 Yeah [laughs]

Joe Rogan 2:02:54 Somebody d- I just think some- like especially-

Yakov Smirnoff 2:02:56 There is no code. There is no code

Joe Rogan 2:02:57 ... Roast Battle. When, when you have Roast Battle up there, like, they would get so wild and rowdy, and it would be packed. It would be packed, and it's only supposed to seat, like, what? 70 people or 80 people

Yakov Smirnoff 2:03:09 Right, right. It would be packed

Joe Rogan 2:03:10 It'd be a lot more than that. [laughs] And the fucking ceiling would move a little.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:03:16 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 2:03:16 When you were in the bar, you're like, "Bro, I hope this doesn't cave in. That would suck."

Yakov Smirnoff 2:03:20 Yeah. Yep, yep, yep

Joe Rogan 2:03:22 That place is a magic place.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:03:23 Yeah

Joe Rogan 2:03:23 And it's also a magic place 'cause it was like a, a magnet for crazy people. You'd have the weirdest, nuttiest people that would just come there. Like that one guy, there's one guy that we used to come there. He was a really nice guy, and he would always dress as Jesus.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:03:38 Yes.

Joe Rogan 2:03:38 Yeah

Yakov Smirnoff 2:03:38 I remember that.

Joe Rogan 2:03:39 Yeah.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:03:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:03:39 Do you, do you remember his name, Jim?

Speaker 2:03:41 Yeah, Heavenly Light.

Joe Rogan 2:03:42 That's right. And, uh, he wound up dying, and everybody was so sad. They were really sad, 'cause this guy was... It seems like a gimmick, but it, we got used to it, and he was really nice. And he was just, like, this nice guy that dressed like Jesus all the time. There he is. [laughs] But it was part of the fucking cool, crazy weirdness of The Comedy Store, is that we had a guy-

Yakov Smirnoff 2:04:07 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 2:04:07 ... that dressed as Jesus that was there all the time.

Speaker 2:04:12 Yeah

Joe Rogan 2:04:12 You know? And, like-

Yakov Smirnoff 2:04:14 Yeah

Joe Rogan 2:04:14 ... I don't know if he ever did stand-up. Did he ever do stand-up?

Speaker 2:04:17 I never saw him on stage. But he would be in the room sometimes, and he definitely had timing to, to, you know, to, you know, give a joke. But, like, I don't remember ever seeing him with a mic in his hand.

Joe Rogan 2:04:28 Isn't that crazy, though? Like, he was just always there hanging out, and he was like... But that was the part of how nutty that place was.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:04:38 Right

Joe Rogan 2:04:38 The place was just strange.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:04:40 Yeah

Joe Rogan 2:04:41 We ran into so many, like, p- completely schizophrenic people in the parking lot. Like, they would, they'd just wander their way back there and start talking to us-

Yakov Smirnoff 2:04:48 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 2:04:49 ... explain to us about the voices in their head

Speaker 2:04:51 Like he was on Bro- Brody's show with Zach.

Joe Rogan 2:04:53 Oh, wow.

Speaker 2:04:54 Ha

Joe Rogan 2:04:55 Wow. Yeah, I mean, Brody had him on his show. It was just, that's how weird that place was. It was just such a fucking, just an unusual spot.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:05:07 Yeah

Joe Rogan 2:05:07 And so we've done our best to make our own version-

Yakov Smirnoff 2:05:10 Yeah

Joe Rogan 2:05:10 ... of that here.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:05:11 And, and the, uh, uh, that Crest Hill house was also a crazy place, you know?

Joe Rogan 2:05:19 Yeah, I'm not doing that. I think that was a terrible idea. [laughs] I'm not gonna buy a house and have a bunch of comedians live in it. That sounds like a recipe for fucking disaster.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:05:27 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 2:05:27 I just can't manage all that. You know, I almost bought Crest Hill at one point in time.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:05:33 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 2:05:33 Yeah, they were selling it, and I was d- really thinking about buying it. But I had, uh, a dog at the time. His name was Frank Sinatra.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:05:39 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 2:05:40 And Frank Sinatra was an escape artist.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:05:42 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 2:05:42 And that, that was not a big enough r- I, you know, if you h- I'm a firm believer that if you have a dog you really have to have a big yard. I think otherwise it's cruel. I think the dog, dogs need exercise.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:05:54 Right, right, right

Joe Rogan 2:05:55 They need, they need something.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:05:56 Yeah

Joe Rogan 2:05:56 If you don't have a big yard, you gotta be able to, be able to take that dog out every day-

Yakov Smirnoff 2:06:00 Yeah

Joe Rogan 2:06:00 ... and, and exercise him and bring him around. Otherwise, it's rude. And Crest Hill had that little tiny backyard.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:06:06 Yeah

Joe Rogan 2:06:06 Remember?

Yakov Smirnoff 2:06:06 Yeah

Joe Rogan 2:06:06 And it was on the hill.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:06:07 Yeah

Joe Rogan 2:06:07 I'm like, "He's getting over this fence."

Yakov Smirnoff 2:06:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:06:08 Like, he was a pit bull. I'm like, "He's getting over that fence like that." That dog could get out of anything.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:06:13 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 2:06:13 I was like, "That poor guy. I'm not doing that to him."

Yakov Smirnoff 2:06:15 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 2:06:16 So I never bought it because of my dog.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:06:18 Yeah

Joe Rogan 2:06:18 Like, literally, I was thinking about buying that house, and she was selling it. And-

Yakov Smirnoff 2:06:23 Yeah

Joe Rogan 2:06:23 ... but it was, I went to look at it. I went to look at it to see if I could buy it. I think co- some comics might've been even living there at the time.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:06:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:06:30 So this was like-

Yakov Smirnoff 2:06:31 They, they sold it several times since then. I was just there not too long ago, and, uh, there it's all kind of destroyed because the guy is kind of wacky and he's remodeling it.

Joe Rogan 2:06:44 Oh

Yakov Smirnoff 2:06:44 But, but it was a, a big part of my life, um-

Joe Rogan 2:06:49 It was a museum

Yakov Smirnoff 2:06:49 ... as I was living there in the little room. Andrew Dice Clay downstairs, and, uh, he's teaching me how to date women.

Joe Rogan 2:06:58 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 2:07:00 I know, I know. It sound- it's crazy.

Joe Rogan 2:07:02 Oh.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:07:03 But I was so naive. And he was, uh, clean at that time. You know, his act was very clean. He would tell, you know, he would do impressions of, uh, Elvis and John Travolta and Sylvester Stallone. So he's ... And, um, and I, and he would be very funny. We were pretty good friends. He would just, uh, but he would, uh, play with me. He would say, uh, he would play that, you know, I would have a girlfriend come, and he would say, "So now you want me to go downstairs?" Can you imagine Andrew being this, you know, crazy g- Said, "Now I gotta go downstairs And I'll be all by myself, and you're gonna be with this girl, and you're my best friend-

Speaker 2:07:52 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 2:07:52 ... and how is that? And I go, "Get the hell out of here. She's gonna be here." And then she would come, and he would do it in front of her. "Well, you guys are gonna have fun now, and I'm gonna have to go downstairs. There's nothing there." And he, he would just play and play al- you know. And then, uh, uh, uh, Tom Wilson was living there, too. Uh, Tom is the guy who did, um, Biff in, uh, Back to the Future. He was the, the, uh, the bad guy, right?

Speaker 2:08:24 Right.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:08:24 And so Tom was kind of a clean cut guy, and Andrew was, you know, um, not. So, so, uh, so the, the... One time I was supposed to break up with this girl. I wanted to break up with her, and he goes, Andrew goes, "I, I have an idea for you. We're gonna go to jewelry store."

Speaker 2:08:47 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 2:08:47 "We're gonna get a, a, a gift for her so it will be easy to break up." So we go, we buy a ring, and I'll bring it. I brought it back, and I go, uh, "Tom, um, Andrew told me to buy this ring to give it to this girl so it would be an easy breakup." And he looks, and he goes, "It's an engagement ring. You know that."

Speaker 2:09:12 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 2:09:12 Right? And I go, "But Andrew told me to buy it." I'm going... He goes, uh, uh, Tom goes, "Andrew is not a representative of a human race-

Speaker 2:09:25 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 2:09:26 ... so don't listen to what he's saying." So that's how it was kind of a fun relationship. But it was interesting because I was very enterprising, and I'm working for Mitzi. And, you know, she's paying me whatever, uh, minimum wage. Um, and but I'm saving money, and we live with those guys, and we have a two-car garage but no cars in it. So a friend of mine says to me, "Why don't we go to Germany together? We'll borrow some money. We'll buy two Mercedes, and we'll sell one, and we'll get one for free." It was kind of a interesting idea. So we went. With some complications, I was able to bring two cars and sold... So, so here's, these guys are sleeping till, like, noon, and they don't have a car, and they don't... They're just bumming around. And I have two Mercedes in the garage. I sell one, and then I go to Europe. They hired me to do a Bob Monkhouse show, which was a kind of a Johnny Carson show for, um, England. And I fly there, and they give me a bag of money, 10,000 euros, uh, tiers, uh, pounds, uh, in a bag to do this show. So I buy a Rolls-Royce and ship it to America. So now I have a Mercedes 450 SL-

Speaker 2:11:04 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 2:11:05 ... and a Rolls-Royce, but I live in a, a room for $120 a, a month, right? And so, um, this is how weird it is. And, a- and this... And I wanna buy a house, but I don't have mo- enough money. So this realtor passes by one day, and I'm polishing a Rolls-Royce. And she goes, "Can I borrow, like, a hammer to put a sign in?" I go, "You know what? You're a realtor. Maybe you can help me. I'm looking for a house, um, on the..." And I liked when Mitzi had that big house, 5,000 square feet overlooking LA. I'm like, "I want something like that." And I s- I said, I tell her, "I want a 5,000 square foot house, um, with an, uh, an acre of land, and I want to, to buy it for, uh, with a view of LA, and I wanna buy it for $150,000." And I'm thinking she's gonna hit me with a hammer. She goes, "I may have something for you." And I go, "Really?" And she goes, "Yeah." And she f- there was a house, uh, literally, like, a block away from where Mitzi's was, similar structure, only it was destroyed. It was a house that Lenny Bruce used to live in-

Speaker 2:12:36 Wow

Yakov Smirnoff 2:12:37 ... years ago. Uh, there was, um, the Seymour Cassel, who is, uh, he is a character actor. I don't know if he's still around. Maybe, uh, Jamie can, uh, find it of him. Uh, he was a character actor, and he got into drugs and lost h- that house to his attorney, to... And, and so, um, uh, so I go look at the house. It's totally destroyed, but my parents needed a project. They were... And I needed them to have a project. So I said, "How much would he..." And he said he'll take $150,000 because it's totally destroyed. There's, uh, stuff, uh, swimming, but, uh, there is, uh, stuff in the basement, like, flooded. The, the, uh, the windows-

Speaker 2:13:31 God

Yakov Smirnoff 2:13:31 ... are broken, destroyed. So I buy that house, and, uh, but I want to buy it, but I have to get all the paperwork. And I, I go, um, "I need this. There is some kind of discrepancy." That a sliver of the land belongs to a neighbor or something like that. So I need to sign that guy, Seymour Cassel, supposed to sign something off. And I go, "Where am I gonna find him?" I go... The attorney goes, "I know where he is. He's in jail."

Joe Rogan 2:14:05 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 2:14:06 So I go to jail, and I figure out I'm gonna offer him money to sign this paper. And, uh, I, I go in, I have, like, $500 in my pocket, and I go, uh, "I need you to sign this paper." And he goes... Uh, I said, "How much?" And he goes, "50." I go, "Um, 50,000?" He said, "No, $50." I go, "Why $50?" He said, "They won't allow us more than $50 in jail." So now I'm in jail with $100 bill trying to get change, which is not a good place to do it. I got it, and now I own that, that beautiful home.

Joe Rogan 2:14:57 You still have it?

Yakov Smirnoff 2:14:58 No, I sold it, uh, and, uh, m- m- moved to Pacific Palisades that time, and when my kids were, uh, my daughter was born, and then had to sell that house and lose a lot of money to move to Branson, so-

Joe Rogan 2:15:16 And are you in Branson still?

Yakov Smirnoff 2:15:18 I do, uh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:15:18 You live in Branson?

Yakov Smirnoff 2:15:19 I, I own... Yeah, I owned a, a theater there and-

Joe Rogan 2:15:22 So how did you start coming out here?

Yakov Smirnoff 2:15:26 It was a desire to kind of, um, uh, do what I, I felt compelled that I can still offer something valuable to the audience out there. Watching Nate Bargatze, uh, doing that, and he had me... Actually, I was in Florida and, uh, I, I wanted to go see his show, and he's in a, um, uh, this, uh, Hertz Arena, 12,000 something people. And I, I, um, I asked if I could just go, come see the show, and he said, "Why don't you go on stage and do a set?" And that was like, I walked out there and I felt like I was back in the '80s. You know? The audience just, the moment they said my name, they knew who I was. That audience knows who I am, so they just went crazy.

Joe Rogan 2:16:33 [laughs]

Yakov Smirnoff 2:16:33 And I felt like Rocky standing there bowing, and then I did, like, s- eight minutes. And, um, so he's very respectful and very... He feels like I one of the people that kind of paved the way for comedy to be what it is today.

Joe Rogan 2:16:54 That's awesome.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:16:55 So I've been very blessed that, you know.

Joe Rogan 2:16:57 And so how did you wind up in Austin?

Yakov Smirnoff 2:17:00 Um, I came here, uh, for the festival, uh, that was that, um-

Joe Rogan 2:17:06 Moontower?

Yakov Smirnoff 2:17:07 Moontower. And then I had Adam, your... Uh, Adam got me a spot. Uh, and that's when I met Tony, and Tony said, uh, "Why don't you be a guest judge on my show?" And I was going o- with my family to Europe, um, uh, because my family's from Ukraine, so my wife's family from Ukraine, so they moved to Europe. And so we went there for two months, and I said, "Tony, I can't do it right now, but end of August, I would love to do it." And that's how it all kind of came together.

Joe Rogan 2:17:45 Wow.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:17:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:17:46 That's awesome.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:17:47 Small world, but-

Joe Rogan 2:17:47 What are you doing tonight?

Yakov Smirnoff 2:17:49 I don't have any plans. I was just, was hoping to get through, through [laughs] this fly because you never know. I, I'm hoping that, you know... I, I'd be happy to do whatever is out there, you know.

Joe Rogan 2:18:03 You were hoping to get through the show? You were-

Yakov Smirnoff 2:18:05 Well-

Joe Rogan 2:18:06 What do you mean?

Yakov Smirnoff 2:18:07 You have to know. I mean, y- you, your show, I don't think you can fathom how big your show... I mean, I know you know the numbers and you know, uh... But, uh, uh, to, to get to, to have the conversation for three hours and not really knowing where it's gonna go, what's gonna happen, how it's gonna be, you, you get nervous, you know? And I feel, uh, like I was, uh, going to, uh, Nashville, and that was Nashville Comedy Festival a, a year and a half ago. And I went there and, um, I walked into Ryman's Auditorium and, um, Brian Dorfman, you probably know.

Joe Rogan 2:18:56 Sure.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:18:56 He's a promoter. He remembered me from the years in the past, and there was a show that, uh, uh, uh, all the Nate Bargatzes, the proteges were doing. Uh, and, and I walked in. I didn't know what was going on, and he said, "You wanna go up?" And I go, "Okay, I'll, I'll go up." And I, I went in the middle of the show and I did 15 minutes, and the crowd gave me a standing ovation in the middle of the show. And I, I know it's... I get emotional because I feel like an ugly duckling that goes in and doesn't know if these young people going to accept you or not. And can you still do it? I was, I'm in Branson for 33 years. I'm very comfortable in that environment. But going into with the young comedians, it's like a boxer who hasn't been out there. And there is, um, there is respect, but also respect only lasts 30 seconds, uh, after they introduce you. But then you have to, you have to prove that you got what it takes. And that's what I feel like I, uh, I want to continue to do this because I believe I can still offer something valuable, uh, to the audience that, that family audience that, uh, could learn something from me, could laugh with me, whatever it is.

Joe Rogan 2:20:40 That's very wholesome, Yakov. You're a wholesome guy.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:20:43 Well, thank you. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 2:20:44 [laughs] I, it's, I mean that with, uh, with all sincerity.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:20:46 Well, I'll tell you, it, it's interesting. I was, when I graduated from my, um, uh, from, uh, Pepperdine and I came to Comedy and Magic Club in my early-

Joe Rogan 2:20:59 In Hermosa Beach.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:21:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:21:00 I love that place.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:21:01 Yeah, me too.

Joe Rogan 2:21:02 Shout out to Mike Lacy.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:21:03 Yes, yes.

Joe Rogan 2:21:04 He's the best.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:21:04 And I, uh, showed up in my, uh, cap and gown, kind of proud. And Jay, Jay Leno's there all the time, every Sunday. And Jay goes, "So what's up, what's up, what's up with that? What's up with that?" And I go, "Well, I decide to get a, a, a doctorate degree because I really think that there is a, a research on laughter that you could really help people understand it better." And he goes, "Yakov, you're a comedian. Y- y- you write a joke, you tell a joke, you pick up a check, and you go, and you go, and, and, and that's it." And I go, "But what about, like, humanity and..." "No, no." He goes, "No, no, you don't get it. You write a joke, you tell a joke, and you pick up a check, and that's it." I, I feel like there is more that I can do.

Joe Rogan 2:22:07 Well, you know, that's Jay's perspective.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:22:09 Right.

Joe Rogan 2:22:09 My perspective is much more aligned with yours. I think there's a lot more going on, and I think comedy's very valuable to people, including me. It, uh, if I don't feel good, then I can go watch people tell great jokes and laugh. I feel better.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:22:23 Absolutely.

Joe Rogan 2:22:23 I like it. I like it.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:22:24 Absolutely.

Joe Rogan 2:22:25 People like it. People keep coming to see it. There's a reason why people come.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:22:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:22:28 It's, it's medicine.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:22:29 It is.

Joe Rogan 2:22:29 It really is.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:22:30 Absolutely.

Joe Rogan 2:22:30 And I know that's, like, very cliche-

Yakov Smirnoff 2:22:31 No, no

Joe Rogan 2:22:32 ... to say laughter is medicine, but it is. There's something to it.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:22:34 It's a lubricant. It's like engine without, if you don't have oil, uh, in the engine, it will not go, and I think laughter in the relationship is that lubricant.

Joe Rogan 2:22:48 Well, and with friends.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:22:49 Yes.

Joe Rogan 2:22:49 It's just a fun thing to do.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:22:51 Absolutely.

Joe Rogan 2:22:52 That's one of the reasons why I like going there.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:22:54 Yes.

Joe Rogan 2:22:54 Is, like, we get to hang out together-

Yakov Smirnoff 2:22:56 Yes

Joe Rogan 2:22:56 ... and laugh.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:22:57 Yes.

Joe Rogan 2:22:58 Speaking of which, do you wanna do a set tonight?

Yakov Smirnoff 2:23:00 Sure.

Joe Rogan 2:23:00 All right.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:23:00 You know anybody-

Joe Rogan 2:23:02 Yeah, I got a-

Yakov Smirnoff 2:23:02 ... who can get me in?

Joe Rogan 2:23:03 I know a guy.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:23:03 [laughs]

Joe Rogan 2:23:04 It'd, it'd be my show.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:23:05 I'd love it.

Joe Rogan 2:23:06 So you'll do a set on my show to-

Yakov Smirnoff 2:23:07 Oh, my God.

Joe Rogan 2:23:07 On my show tonight. Yeah, okay.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:23:08 I'd love it.

Joe Rogan 2:23:09 All right.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:23:09 Oh, my goodness, wow.

Joe Rogan 2:23:11 We'll have some fun.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:23:11 What a gift. Thank you.

Joe Rogan 2:23:13 And if people wanna see you other than that, you're on tour. Um, what is the website? Is it yakov.com?

Yakov Smirnoff 2:23:17 Yakov.com. Yeah, my next show is in Atlanta this weekend.

Joe Rogan 2:23:23 Well, people can go to it.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:23:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:23:24 It's up on the screen. There it is.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:23:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:23:26 Stand-up, podcast host, legend. You have your own podcast?

Yakov Smirnoff 2:23:30 I, I did for about a year.

Joe Rogan 2:23:32 What happened?

Yakov Smirnoff 2:23:33 Uh, uh, um, the baby was born. [laughs]

Joe Rogan 2:23:36 Oh, you-

Yakov Smirnoff 2:23:37 And-

Joe Rogan 2:23:37 You do, and a lot of good spots. You're doing the Punch Line. You're doing the Punch Line in Sacramento. You're doing Cobb's in San Francisco.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:23:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:23:45 Comedy Works in D- in Greenville. W- Gre- uh, Greenwood, rather. That's, uh, the other Comedy Works. There's two Comedy Works.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:23:50 Right.

Joe Rogan 2:23:50 Nice. Side Splitters, great spots. Beautiful.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:23:54 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:23:55 Well, people, people will come see you, man.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:23:56 I hope so.

Joe Rogan 2:23:57 And, and you're very funny.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:23:58 Thank you.

Joe Rogan 2:23:58 So it's good. It's good to see you out there still doing it.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:23:59 Thanks for having me.

Joe Rogan 2:24:00 My pleasure.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:24:01 I really appreciate it. Thank you.

Joe Rogan 2:24:02 I, I really enjoyed talking to you in the green room. I'm, I'm glad we did this, 'cause that's a crazy-ass story.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:24:06 Thank you. Thank you, appreciate it.

Joe Rogan 2:24:07 My pleasure. You're a good dude, Yakov. I love you.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:24:10 Thank you.

Joe Rogan 2:24:10 All right.

Yakov Smirnoff 2:24:11 I love you too. Thank you.

Joe Rogan 2:24:12 Bye, everybody. [upbeat music]