The Joe Rogan ExperienceJoe Rogan Experience #2573 - Legion of Skanks
EVERY SPOKEN WORD
150 min read · 30,007 words- 0:00 – 0:02
Intro
- SPSpeaker
[upbeat music]
- 0:02 – 1:33
Crude comedy riff: gross-out bits, gynecologists, and how jobs warp your worldview
- SPSpeaker
Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night. All day. [upbeat music] Pretty balls move to do dressing out of someone's ass and have that work out for you night after night.
- JRJoe Rogan
Bob Levy did that for 20 years.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah, and I, I don't think it ever failed. I never think he had a night-
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
... where it was like, "Ah, dude, well, well, keep the dressing sealed." No one said yes.
- JRJoe Rogan
How many times did that guy get pink eye?
- SPSpeaker
He must have. [laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
It must be off the charts. He must be, like, the number one pink eye patient.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah. [laughs] Well, when he wrote the, when he wrote the joke, it was definitely... It's like when a guy becomes a gynecologist, he assumes, like, "Well, it's all gonna be hot chicks coming to show me their pussies." And then he has to end up doing it to, like, fat Philly women-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah
- SPSpeaker
... as they come on stage. [laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. A guy who does that, like, if, if that's what you're doing all the time, you're working on vaginas, like, that's like a cop who's, like, constantly pulling over people who are lying to them. You just assume everybody's fucked up, 'cause you're only dealing with, like, mostly broken people.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
People breaking the law.
- SPSpeaker
Pieces of shit.
- JRJoe Rogan
'Cause you're only dealing with broken pussies.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah, the ones that are- [laughs] Yeah, they're not... The perfect ones aren't in there. They're not like, "Hey, does this still look perfect?"
- JRJoe Rogan
By the time someone's going to a pussy doc-, especially a male pussy doctor, which is really odd. It's really odd. All the different things that you could choose to work on, the brain, the eyes. You're like, "Eh, vaginas."
- SPSpeaker
If you would've asked me when I was 13, that would've been my dream job. Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. When you-
- SPSpeaker
Pussy doctor. You thought so.
- JRJoe Rogan
At 13.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
'Cause then you thought, you were like, "Well, all these porn stars must have to go to a doctor. I'll be that guy."
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
I'm gonna fuck all these hot chicks.
- JRJoe Rogan
I'm not going to, I'm not going to pussy doctor school for eight years. That's crazy.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah. Yeah.
- 1:33 – 4:39
Doctors, drugs, and malpractice: when the system makes high-stakes mistakes
- JRJoe Rogan
There's gotta be some of them that are... Well, a lot of j- a lot of doctors, uh, get into drugs, they, because they can prescribe them, and they prescribe them to each other. Like, uh, like, I have a doctor friend, and he's always on something. He's always doing something. He's always taking things. Like, "I need this for that, I need this for that." Like, they just take a pill. Like, there's a lot of them. There's a book called Dead Doctors Don't Lie by Joel Wallach. Interesting book. But what... It's mostly about, like, nutritional supplements and how really nutrition is the foundation of health, not going to the doctor, and that most of these doctors are really out of their fucking head. And he would just talk all these different stories in the book about different doctors that die of overdoses in the middle of a fucking operation. Like, Jesus walk. [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
Well, that's the number one cause of death. I- or, right, or, like, one of the top causes of death is malpractice by doctors. They con- like, hospitals are regularly fucking up.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, they fuck up. Malpractice or something happens during an operation is, like, the third-
- SPSpeaker
[laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
... leading cause of death.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
That's the worst. He goes, "All right, we're gonna cut that tumor out, right after I get these spiders out from under my skin." [laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah.
- SPSpeaker
"I'll be right back."
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, yeah.
- SPSpeaker
"I have to go scratch for a little bit." Itch away.
- JRJoe Rogan
A friend of mine, his wife went to the doctor 'cause she had to get a kidney removed, and they removed the wrong kidney.
- SPSpeaker
[laughs] What?
- JRJoe Rogan
They removed the good one.
- SPSpeaker
[laughs] Oh, my. And then finished it and were like, "You're good to go," and then you figured out they'd made a-
- JRJoe Rogan
They figured it out afterwards, and he... You know, there's a lawsuit, the whole thing. You know, he won't-
- SPSpeaker
What the fuck? When they pulled it out, do you think they were like, "Looks good."
- JRJoe Rogan
Bro, I've, I've heard of people getting-
- SPSpeaker
What do I know?
- JRJoe Rogan
... the wrong leg amputated. Like, there's a lot of... Uh, what-
- SPSpeaker
They- What's the review process like on that when they sit everyone down, like, "H- what went wrong here?" It's like, "Honestly, we, everyone did everything right, except for the fucking guy-"
- JRJoe Rogan
Shit
- SPSpeaker
... "who got the wrong fucking kidney."
- JRJoe Rogan
It's like everything else, man. There's guys who are shitty drivers, but they still have a license. You know, there's guys who are terrible... [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
That's true.
- JRJoe Rogan
There's guys who are terrible carpenters. You hir- hire them to build your house, and you go over the work. You're like, "What the fuck is this?"
- SPSpeaker
Yeah. I think a lot of work like that is it's just people always that are willing to do it. Whether they're good or not doesn't matter. Yeah, they're, they're the ones- It's just being the willing to do it. Like, I'm not a willing-to-do-it guy, 'cause I go, "Well, I'll do it bad."
- JRJoe Rogan
Sure.
- SPSpeaker
But a lot of people are just like, "Well, I'll figure it out. I'll figure it out."
- 4:39 – 11:40
Comas, “declared dead,” and organ donation gray areas
- JRJoe Rogan
You guys know that, that story about the, the one guy who, uh, there was a, I guess his kid, his a- like adult kid, but his kid was, like, in a coma, and they were gonna, like, take him off life support. And then the dad was like, "No, he... I c- I can tell that he's still... There's something left there. He's not gonna die." And then he brought a gun, and he had, like, a, a, like, a two-day standoff with, like, the police.
- SPSpeaker
Oh, Jesus Christ.
- JRJoe Rogan
And then his kid came out of the coma, and the kid survived. He went to jail for, like, a year, but he saved his kid's life.
- SPSpeaker
Holy fuck. Wow. Did you... Have you seen the phenome... Everyone keeps reminding me, 'cause I forgot about the Anne Heche, when they were taking her out, like her dead body, basically, and it popped up and sat up, and they shove her back down and put her in the ambulance.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, it was, like, a big conspiracy, yeah.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah, but she might have been dying. I mean, she was in a horrible car accident where she ran into a house on drugs. But they... She was, like, in a body bag- Was she in a body bag? ... and they pushed her back down. Yeah. Uh, I think she, like, comes out of it. I think it's, like, unzipped. Really?
- JRJoe Rogan
What? She popped back up?
- SPSpeaker
She popped up. Yeah, she's like the Undertaker.
- JRJoe Rogan
She sat up. [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
But apparently, but apparently there's phenomenon of that happening. Like, there's video you can see in morgues, like-
- JRJoe Rogan
Or dead people
- SPSpeaker
... things happen in the body where the dead person's, like, you know, like, their arm will completely go up. And so they just, like, stiffen in a weird way and, like-
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, there's been people that they brought to the morgue that came back to life.
- SPSpeaker
That's crazy. I know.
- JRJoe Rogan
That they thought were dead and weren't dead. They just had such a low heartbeat that-
- SPSpeaker
Voodoo
- JRJoe Rogan
... they just assume they're dead. Uh, some people just get to the door and don't go through and pop back out. But there's another problem. The problem is organ donors. You know? Um, in order for you to do- donate your organ, you have to actually be alive. So the way they donate organs is, like, if you die in a car accident and then they bring you to the hospital, you've been dead for two hours, you're not donate- donating any organs.
- SPSpeaker
Oh, really? Oh.
- JRJoe Rogan
You have to be alive.
- SPSpeaker
Oh, I thought that was the whole thing. Yeah, but if you're dead. They can take my, they can take my dead organs.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, that's what you think.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
And so this is the problem, is if they want those organs and they're pretty sure you're gonna die and you're not gonna make it, the question-
- SPSpeaker
They take them out of you while you're alive
- JRJoe Rogan
... the question is, who makes the call? And there have been times where people said, "No, you're not gonna do this," and then the person survives, where they wanted to make the call and start harvesting organs. This person's dying, they're not gonna make it, but we would like his kidney. It matches this guy who's-
- SPSpeaker
Is it 'cause w- they need them f- like, for, I guess if you die they start to rot immediately, right?
- JRJoe Rogan
That's all speculation. I don't know why, you know, I don't know what the thing is. But the-
- SPSpeaker
It's, like, hostile
- JRJoe Rogan
... but what happens is you have to be alive when they're actually pulling those organs.
- SPSpeaker
My brother-in-law has-
- 11:40 – 14:03
Faith explanations, grief etiquette, and a shocking “killed by a cross” video
- SPSpeaker
You gotta turn it over to God, dude. That's what, uh, Hulk Hogan d- remember when [laughs] Hulk Hogan was talking to his son when his son got into the accident and the friend died, and Hulk Hogan was on the phone with his son? I think he's trying to make his son feel better, but you remember what he said? No. He was like, "I don't know what your friend John did there to get w- wrong with God, but-" [laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
... I guess he was like, "What the fuck?" [laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
"That wasn't your fault."
- JRJoe Rogan
He wasn't saying his prayers. He wasn't eating his vitamins.
- SPSpeaker
[laughs] His pythons were under 20 inches.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, dude. Bro, when someone, people start interpreting the Bible in that way, you're like, "I don't think you're reading it right."
- SPSpeaker
[laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
You're like, "I don't think that's how it works." Like, you're supposed to say, "I'm sorry your friend's dead."
- SPSpeaker
Yeah. [laughs] Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs] You're not supposed to say-
- SPSpeaker
Not giving the reasons why you think he died. You're like, "Hey, your friend didn't make it." You're like, "Yeah." You're like, "Also, the reason he died was his son drove them into a tree 100-n some miles per hour."
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, you guys have seen this?
- SPSpeaker
Oh, this was a wild story. Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Where the, the priest gets killed by the cross?
- SPSpeaker
Oh, have I seen it? Hey.
- JRJoe Rogan
How many times have you jerked off to it?
- SPSpeaker
I've watched it 1,000 times. Jesus. This, this priest-
- JRJoe Rogan
This is the craziest video-
- SPSpeaker
Yeah
- JRJoe Rogan
... because this poor guy was in the, the middle of like... Wasn't he talking about, like, that you have to get right with God before you die?
- SPSpeaker
Well, I don't know the exact words. I love-
- SPSpeaker
His name is
- JRJoe Rogan
I mean, he might've been-
- SPSpeaker
I'd say
- JRJoe Rogan
... talking about, like, the-
- SPSpeaker
The-
- JRJoe Rogan
... Jack Hulk Hogan phrase. [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
Yeah. [laughs] This is the first, this is the first time the church ever was scrambling to find some dirt on this guy.
- 14:03 – 15:09
Catholic Church scandal mechanics: secrecy, transfers, and institutional protection
- SPSpeaker
Well, when was the blowup of it? It was the '80s? Well, I mean, there's been- '80s, '90s when they were really up there. It's like they're mo- they're just moving them around. It was like a- Yeah ... girls gymnastics coaches. They're just shuffling them around fucking parts of the country and there's, uh-
- JRJoe Rogan
There's a documentary called-
- SPSpeaker
... lots of other people
- JRJoe Rogan
... I think it's called Hear No Evil. It's one of the worst documentaries you could ever watch, like don't watch it. Uh, but it's basically about this Catholic priest, and they, they take him from one place, and they move him to another place, and I think the story was that he molested 100 deaf kids. They moved him to a place where the kids were all deaf, and he was just molesting these deaf kids. And this was one of the ones, I believe the story was this is the ones that Ratzinger... You know that one pope that was-
- SPSpeaker
Yeah
- JRJoe Rogan
... disgraced and removed?
- SPSpeaker
Mm-hmm.
- JRJoe Rogan
The, he was involved in that. So a lot of these guys before, you know, when they're moving up the ranks, one of the, one of the jobs is you take a Catholic priest that's been molesting kids, and you move him.
- SPSpeaker
You get to-
- JRJoe Rogan
You just move him to another area, and they, they've been doing that forever.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah, it's crazy.
- JRJoe Rogan
That was their standard policy.
- SPSpeaker
And you know what they say- Yeah ... wherever you go, there you are. Yeah. [laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
Who does Dr. Seuss?
- SPSpeaker
Yeah. [laughs] That's right.
- JRJoe Rogan
Who's also a little problematic.
- 15:09 – 20:04
Old media and open racism: Dr. Seuss exhibits, cartoons, and blackface sitcom episodes
- SPSpeaker
Yeah. Yeah. [laughs] Oh, yeah. By the way, I didn't... I went to a... I think it was in San Diego once, that American Comedy Club, walking around, and there was, like, an art gallery, and it was doing a Dr. Seuss, like, exhibit. And you go inside, and, like, very quickly you're like, "Yo."
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
[laughs] "This guy drew a lot of, uh, pretty racist, uh, stuff."
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah. He was problematic.
- SPSpeaker
Oh, yeah. And old, like, uh... Was it Looney Tunes or Warner Brothers?
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah.
- SPSpeaker
There was a lot of stuff in that too.
- JRJoe Rogan
Super racist.
- SPSpeaker
Some of it.
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, have you seen... There's, you know, the, the Big Bad Wolf? Like, what was it? We've seen this before, Jamie. It's, like, the original one from, like, the 1930s. So there's a big bad wolf that's banging on someone's door.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah. It's, um, Goldilocks.
- JRJoe Rogan
And they pull the mask off.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
And in the original one, it's a Jewish guy.
- SPSpeaker
Oh, really? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
And they converted it to a wolf later.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah, yeah. It's great. [laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
It's crazy.
- SPSpeaker
It's so funny. Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
You realize this was a cartoon for kids.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah. Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
It was a cartoon for kids.
- SPSpeaker
And way ahead of their time how accurate they drew-
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
Yeah ... that Jewish person. I saw it ... it was crazy. It's like, is that Ari?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
I saw it.
- JRJoe Rogan
But it was, like-
- SPSpeaker
I saw one ep-
- JRJoe Rogan
... open... This is before World War II, so it was just o- openly fine to-
- 20:04 – 22:18
Race, comedy boundaries, and public grief as spectacle: whiteface, bait-taking, and “sparklers” mourning
- SPSpeaker
He goes, "All right. Well, you're gonna live healthy, but you're never gonna dunk." [laughs]
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
Nope. That's the way it goes. [laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
You gotta weigh the good and the bad, I guess, with everything.
- JRJoe Rogan
There's trade-offs. It's weird because whiteface is totally fine. Like, White Chicks-
- SPSpeaker
Sure
- JRJoe Rogan
... like, you could do White Chicks 2 today.
- SPSpeaker
Of course.
- JRJoe Rogan
No one will care.
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
No.
- JRJoe Rogan
It was a funny movie.
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
I look forward to it.
- JRJoe Rogan
Nobody cares. But it's w- it's, it's such a weird thing that you can't pretend to be someone.
- SPSpeaker
We should make Black Chicks.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, it's just...
- SPSpeaker
That'd be a fun movie to make, Black Chicks. [laughs]
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Boy. Boy, you could go to town with that one if you were really bold. [laughs]
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
[laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah, Drewski.
- SPSpeaker
All right, Drewski.
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
Yeah, Drewski, dude. [laughs] I mean, that's hilarious.
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs] Drewski did Erika Kirk. A p- but the fucking people on the right, man, they lost their fucking minds, thinking that was real.
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
Did they really? Like, they'll take-
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, yeah
- SPSpeaker
... oh, yeah, they lost their senses hearing that
- JRJoe Rogan
They take bait on that? The tards. The tards.
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
The bait on that that much? That's crazy.
- JRJoe Rogan
The, the, you know, the lowest IQ, farthest right ding-dongs who are, their whole identity is, like, being an online MAGA person, there's just, like, a low IQ version of that that's out there that, that no matter what you'd, "Oh, fuck you! Fuck you, fucking traitor." There's, there's those people.
- 22:18 – 26:30
Death rituals and “funeral industry” cynicism: cremation mixes, tree pods, and Tibetan sky funerals
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
And it says, uh, "Grieving my husband, Erika Kirk." [laughs] Dude, I ha- I've had an in-depth conversation with my wife about what I expect after I pass away, like the amount of grieving and the amount of, of consoling that you... Like, I don't even want her to leave the house-
- JRJoe Rogan
That's fair
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
... for fi-
- SPSpeaker
Oh, really?
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
... for five or six months after.
- SPSpeaker
No, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go the Kirk way, dude. I want fucking, uh, Bigfoot and Grave Digger coming at each other over a bunch of broken down cars.
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
Hell yeah.
- SPSpeaker
Let's go big. Godzilla.
- JRJoe Rogan
Steve, did you swear on your wife's life last night on Story Warz and were lying? [laughs]
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
[laughs] Wait a minute.
- SPSpeaker
Story Warz. [laughs]
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
You're trying every spiritual-
- JRJoe Rogan
No, I, I told the truth. I told the truth.
- SPSpeaker
You're trying every way to get her out of your life without you having to do anything?
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
[laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
Too much true crime now.
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
No, I expect full, like, inconsolable, like, just, you know, b- wearing black, a veil.
- JRJoe Rogan
Hmm.
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
I want that level of, like, pain and sorrow when I'm gone.
- JRJoe Rogan
For how long? How long before a new guy comes along?
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
No.
- JRJoe Rogan
Never?
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
Never. No.
- JRJoe Rogan
To death?
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
To death, dude.
- JRJoe Rogan
Wow.
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
To death.
- SPSpeaker
Now, let's say she dies tomorrow tragically.
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
I need companionship.
- 26:30 – 33:13
Filleting disasters to kayak gourmet fishing: mastery, fear, and shark encounters
- JRJoe Rogan
If you go on a boat, like a charter boat, and go fishing with guys-
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
Yes
- JRJoe Rogan
... who do it every day.
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
I wa-
- JRJoe Rogan
Those guys are masters.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
The way they filet those fish is... [exhales loudly]
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
And they're doing it while the waves are-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
... going up and down.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah, a little, uh, catch and cook. I do it anytime I go on vacation, dude.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh.
- SPSpeaker
You either you catch it that morning.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm.
- SPSpeaker
You bring it back to the villa or the hotel. They cook it up for you. But yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
There's this one dude-
- SPSpeaker
It looks so easy
- JRJoe Rogan
... I'm obsessed with online. He lives in Hawaii, and, uh, I think it's called, uh... I'll find it. It's called, like, Saikama or something. Saikama Syndicate. Hold on. Let me find it.
- SPSpeaker
Is that just paprika?
- JRJoe Rogan
Goddammit. I gotta find this guy. But what he does is, um... I don't remember the name of his Inst- Instagram. What he does is he goes... See if you can find it, Jamie. He goes o- I think we've shown him before. He goes online with a kayak. So he's got a kayak. He takes this fucker out. There he is. Saikama Syndicate. That's it.
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
Whoa.
- JRJoe Rogan
So this dude-
- SPSpeaker
Yeah
- JRJoe Rogan
... goes fishing out of his kayak, and then he cooks a gourmet meal on the kayak in the middle of the fucking ocean. It's the coolest thing.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah, they club them in the head to kill them. Now, can I tell you something? Can you back it up, Jamie, a little bit?
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, like the way he's-
- SPSpeaker
To where he's-
- JRJoe Rogan
... the way this guy does it. He busts out-
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
Holy cow
- JRJoe Rogan
... a chopping board. He's got a knife. He brings different herbs and garlic and minces things up. I mean, literally makes, like, gourmet meals.
- 33:13 – 41:10
Toxins in fish, Fear Factor eating, and survival TV realities
- JRJoe Rogan
They certainly can. You certainly can eat them. The problem is they have forever chemicals in 'em now. Almost all freshwater fish are polluted, almost all of 'em.
- SPSpeaker
Make you sick.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, if you eat a freshwater fish from a lake in the United States of America, you're gonna get a very high level of PFAS, and these are a bunch of forever chemicals that, that come from environmental toxins, plastics, all ki- all, all kinds of shit that's in the oxygen, or in the air, rather, the atmosphere, that gets down into the water from rain, from runoff, from, you know, every time it rains, all the... You don't think about it, but all the fucking shit that's in your car, all your oil dripping, anything that someone left in the gutter, all that shit runs into the lake, and when that stuff runs in there, you're, it's never going anywhere. It stays in there, and it gets in the fish.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Damn.
- SPSpeaker
There's no flow.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, w- pull that up, Jamie. Pull that up in Perplexity, like, the, uh, what, what the toxins are that you can get, environmental toxins from freshwater fish. So you get, like-
- SPSpeaker
But it's like an aspartame thing where it's like it turns out you have to drink 700 Cokes a day-
- JRJoe Rogan
Probably
- SPSpeaker
... or Diet Cokes a day?
- JRJoe Rogan
Probably, but I do know, uh, Steve Rinella told me about a guy who got real fucking sick because he was a, uh, a f- a tournament fisherman, so a freshwater tournament, like catch a bunch of perch, and they, they eat 'em. Perch are delicious. But he ate 'em exclusively. That was his whole diet, and his fucking health fell apart, and it turned out that was why. It was like he was literally poisoning himself. Freshwater fish can contain contaminants, especially mercury, PCBs, and PFAS that accumulate in their w- in the, from the water and food. The risk depends on the species, the lake or river, and how often you eat the fish. Freshwater fish aren't uniformly unsafe. So, uh, it's just a lot of people recommend that if you're gonna eat freshwater fish, don't eat a lot of it. Don't eat it often.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Yeah, when I went fishing in Puerto Rico, there w- one, one of the fish that we caught, they were like, if it was over a certain size, they're like, "Don't eat it," because they've been feeding on, like, the bottom feeding, like, um-
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm
- LGLuis J. Gomez
... the, on, on the reef, whatever the animals-
- JRJoe Rogan
Right
- LGLuis J. Gomez
... that would eat the reef, and they were like, they become toxic the larger they are. So we had to throw them back if they were, like, over a certain weight or whatever.
- JRJoe Rogan
We went to The Bahamas, and, uh, there was this guy who's a, a guide who was telling us, "You can eat barracuda that are from this side of this, of this island, but not from the other side." And I said, "How come?" And he's like, "Well, it's like what they eat, and, and, you know, like, th- this side is safe, and that side's not safe 'cause they're..." And I'm like, "So how do we know these aren't moving around?"
- LGLuis J. Gomez
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
I didn't know you could eat barracuda at all.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, so-
- SPSpeaker
Oh, yeah
- JRJoe Rogan
... I, you know, it was, I was with my daughter, and I was like, "We're not eating these. Like, you can have 'em. Would you eat 'em?" He said, "Yeah." I'm like, "Oh, you can keep 'em."
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
So I, I didn't eat the fish. I was like, "That makes me nervous as fuck," 'cause it's, like, literally a toxin.
- SPSpeaker
What's your strange... Do you have, like, a... Like, you've probably been introduced to all kinds of strange foods. Where's, where do you draw a line?
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, because of Fear Factor, I've eaten insane things.
- SPSpeaker
Oh, you tried the stuff?
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah, I ate a lot of it. Uh, the, the first episode, I did it, like, sort of, like, to help the people out. I said, "I feel terrible that you have to do this, so I'll do it, too." And they had to eat a sheep's eyeball. That wasn't that bad. It's just in your head mostly. And I ate, uh-
- SPSpeaker
No, it's also the thing, too.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, but it's, it's not-
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Right in your head.
- 41:10 – 56:05
When animals attack: otters, badgers, elk in towns, and deer collision horror stories
- JRJoe Rogan
Bro, a lady got killed.
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
Two days later?
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
A lady got killed a few years ago, not on the show, but a lady got killed by an otter. An otter killed her.
- SPSpeaker
What a weak bitch.
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
Yeah, chicks, right? [laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
I think, I think if it bites-
- SPSpeaker
Soft
- JRJoe Rogan
... the inside of your thigh, I think you're fucked. I think if it penetrates through one of those arteries-
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
Yeah, you could bleed out
- JRJoe Rogan
... I think you just start spraying. And if you don't have a tourniquet, and you don't know how to apply it correctly, you're fucked.
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
I was picturing more, like, the otter had disgusting viruses in its mouth or something, and then she got, like her leg, like-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
... amputated or something, but..
- JRJoe Rogan
She's a certified swim instructor from Reno.
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
Classy.
- JRJoe Rogan
On a routin- routine morning swim, an otter grabbed her leg with human-like force and pulled her underwater. The animal tore off her goggles and repeatedly bit and clawed her face, nose, cheek, armpits, and legs for about five minutes. She thought... She fought the animal off, used her swimming skills to climb up onto the boulders, though the otter followed her out of the water and circled below.
- SPSpeaker
Jesus.
- JRJoe Rogan
She sustained deep bites and scratches requiring 38 stitches, plus rabies and tetanus vaccinations. So that gu- that lady lived. But there was a lady a few years back who got killed.
- SPSpeaker
I'll fuck up an otter, Joe.
- JRJoe Rogan
They're fucking f-
- SPSpeaker
You have these conversations about trying to, like choke out a mountain lion.
- JRJoe Rogan
Fierce.
- SPSpeaker
I'll fucking fuck up an otter.
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
Bro, you would be so... You wouldn't even know what's... You'd be like, "Is this an otter coming at me? What is that?" Like, you-
- SPSpeaker
Is that a seal?
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
Yeah. No, what is it?
- SPSpeaker
I couldn't tell.
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
You know?
- SPSpeaker
I couldn't identify an otter. I think I would run till my legs didn't work and then accept death.
- 56:05 – 1:02:28
Dogs: affection, loyalty myths, AI ‘reunion’ videos, and zero survival instincts
- JRJoe Rogan
Argh. That's what you gotta do, that fuck- and then you turn that thing into a belt. Fuck you. [laughs] You fucking cunt. But anyway, I have a, a King Charles Cavalier. Like, I've, I've never really been into little dogs. I fucking love this little guy so much. He's so enthusiastic. He's so fun. Like, all he wants to do is just kiss you and jump all over you. And he's like, he's a puppy. He's like a year and a half old. But like, when I come home, he's like, "Ah!" He just goes fucking crazy. He leaps up, I pick him up, he's kissing me, just squirming and having fun.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
He's just, he just loves being around people, and he's so sweet. He's like the sweetest little dog ever. It's like, "Oh, I get it." It's not gonna guard your house.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's not, it's not g- There's nothing-
- SPSpeaker
No, but they think they will. My, dude, my Cocker Spaniel-
- JRJoe Rogan
"Rawr, rawr"
- SPSpeaker
... she thinks she's a fucking, like a beast. She barks, she's like, "Rawr, rawr, rawr, rawr," right at the front window.
- JRJoe Rogan
At least they let you know something's up.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
You know?
- SPSpeaker
There is an interesting thing. I, I have a dog for the first time, four years now. First dog I've ever had in my life, so I never quite got it before. But I do feel the sense of a, I want it to have more appreciation. [laughs] Like-
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, want the dog to have more appreciation?
- SPSpeaker
There's no, there's n- there's no real appreciation show of a dog.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
You're like, "Man, you were found in a box on the side of the road."
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
"Look at your life now."
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. Look at all the-
- SPSpeaker
"Why are you just staring at me?"
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
"Why are you not licking my face constantly?"
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
Uh, I'm judgemental of her for it.
- JRJoe Rogan
That's hilarious.
- SPSpeaker
But it's, uh... It is interesting, but I also think that my dog, if she was taken by somebody tomorrow, just like kidnapped, she would just be like, "Oh, I love you now."
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, they all would. Yeah. They all would. There's no loyalty like that. They have like- I don't know. I think there is ... probably a half a day of memory. Yeah, I don't know about that.
- SPSpeaker
No.
- JRJoe Rogan
Some dogs get very attached to people. Oh, dude. Do you see those videos of, like... What was the latest one? There was a guy who was an ex, like, uh- Yeah, yeah, yeah ... Marine going through TSA. Yeah. And a fucking dog jumps over the TSA people and just starts going crazy for a minute. And it was, like, his m- military dog from when he was in the milit- Yeah. Am I fucking that up or something? He raised it. Yeah, yeah, no. Yeah, yeah. You're not at all. You're not at all. Yeah, but yeah. It's awesome. But do you think the dog was depressed without him? It's a military dog. Or he just saw him and was like-
- SPSpeaker
It wasn't real
- 1:02:28 – 1:09:11
Fireworks culture and injury porn: safety rigs, illegal power, chlorine bombs, and prosthetic futures
- SPSpeaker
When's the last time you've really enjoyed a firework show? [laughs]
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
I love fireworks.
- SPSpeaker
Still?
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
Yeah. My birthday's the Fourth of July, dude.
- SPSpeaker
I think I do.
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
You know what I mean?
- JRJoe Rogan
Can I tell you something?
- SPSpeaker
And then they go, and I'm like-
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
Yeah
- SPSpeaker
... "All right."
- JRJoe Rogan
I love cellphone videos of fireworks. I love going over my old cellphone videos of fireworks.
- SPSpeaker
Of ones that you saw personally?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, you gotta watch them-
- SPSpeaker
Your own memories
- JRJoe Rogan
... over and over and over again. Like, "Wow, what a memory."
- SPSpeaker
[laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
Have you... Has anybody ever watched a cellphone-
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
No, I never
- JRJoe Rogan
... You film them-
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
I watch them the next day-
- JRJoe Rogan
And nobody ever watches it. Of course
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
... and then I never watch it again.
- SPSpeaker
[laughs]
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
I have probably four hours of firework videos in my phone that I've never even looked at ever again. [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
That's my feeling about concert phones always-
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
Oh, yeah
- SPSpeaker
... is you're not gonna watch this.
- SRSteve Rannazzisi
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
You're not gonna watch this.
- JRJoe Rogan
One of the wildest videos, and this is before AI, there's a dude, he's got, I don't know, an M-80 or some kind of a, some kind of a firework in his hand, and it blows off in his hands.
- 1:09:11 – 1:31:37
Cyborg temptation, self-amputation fetishes, BME shock sites, and the rabbit hole of dick modification
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, if they start making body parts that are better than our parts, it's gonna be a problem.
- SPSpeaker
'Cause people are gonna wanna be cyborgs
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. People already get fake tits. They don't like their tits, so they get a fake one 'cause it makes their tits better, look better. If you can get arms that worked way better, and you actually feel through them, there's gonna be dudes that get their arms hacked off.
- SPSpeaker
But how do you weigh out, like, that it's not like the psychosis of people who wanna just take all... You know what I mean? Like now, now there's a real, gives people a reason who wanna do amp- you know, voluntary amputations
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. Well, you know, there's healthy arms
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Well, hang on. Was there ever people that do that?
- SPSpeaker
No, that's what I'm saying.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Yeah
- SPSpeaker
People who are like, "I was not supposed to be born with this arm. I don't feel right with this left arm." You get it taken off. But like-
- JRJoe Rogan
But you could just not have any regulations and let people do that. Like, if it gets to the point where it's that good, you could just say, "Yeah, we're..." You know, my body's fine. Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those people. But I'm 42, and I'm starting to feel it, and, uh, Mike got a whole fake body, and fucking Mike is just having so much fun. He's got so much more energy than me, and apparently no side effects.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
[laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
So you just go in to have-
- SPSpeaker
And so you need a doctor to go-
- JRJoe Rogan
... take your fucking head off and [imitates drill]
- SPSpeaker
Yeah
- JRJoe Rogan
... screw it into some robot body.
- SPSpeaker
It's weird to be able to take healthy arms off and-
- JRJoe Rogan
Do you know about that guy? There's this one guy that was, uh... He got... I think he was like a, a doctor, and he had his legs removed. He, he had his legs voluntarily amputated. He tried to pretend for a long time that it was, like, something wrong with his legs and had to get them amputated, but it turned out it was just a weird sexual fetish.
- SPSpeaker
So, uh, uh-
- JRJoe Rogan
And so I think he got his license taken away, but this guy was a practicing doctor, I believe. "Doctor jailed after getting his own legs amputated for sexual fetish, then making insurance claim." [laughs] He made an insurance claim.
- SPSpeaker
Well, that's the crazy part.
- JRJoe Rogan
A vascular surgeon-
- SPSpeaker
It's a real world now
- JRJoe Rogan
... in England was sentenced to 32 months in prison for insurance fraud and possession of extreme pornographic images. That's interesting. Like, the in- insurance fraud, I get you put him in jail for that. But his extreme pornographic images, those are illegal?
- SPSpeaker
Yeah, 'cause this chick, he, he met a hot young chick that was like, "I love getting stump fucked."
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
And I just feel like you can't supply that.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Oh boy.
- SPSpeaker
Sure, you're rich.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, man.
- 1:31:37 – 1:38:53
Trans identity, street conflict escalation, and the ‘dildo gun’ incident in New York
- JRJoe Rogan
Uh, I've had nothing but pleasant interactions with trans men
- LGLuis J. Gomez
M- women to men?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
I had a, I had an interaction-
- JRJoe Rogan
They don't seem-
- LGLuis J. Gomez
... the other day, Joe, with a tran- a woman-to-man trans man who we, uh, we told this on Legion of Skanks.
- SPSpeaker
Oh, dude, this story is fantastic.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
So I'll give the quick version of it. I'm pulling out of a parking space, there's a city bike guy coming by, and I almost hit him. He falls off his bike, and he's like, "Yo, what the fuck?" And I was like-
- SPSpeaker
Luis is an urban deer.
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs]
- LGLuis J. Gomez
I'm a terrible... [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
[laughs]
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs]
- LGLuis J. Gomez
I'm a terrible driver. I've talked about this a lot. So I'm like, "Oh, are you okay?" He's like, "Yeah, dude, I'm fine, but watch where you're going." I'm like, "All right, cool." So this woman starts screaming from the street, and she's like, "Stand right there," to me. She's like, "Stand right there." And the guy's like, "No, no, no, I'm okay. Don't worry, miss." I get out of the car, I'm like, "What's going on?" And then, uh, she's like, "You can't go. You hit a pedestrian." I was like, "I didn't hit him. He's fine." He's like, "I gotta go." He takes off on his bike. So she starts screaming at me, and at this point I'm going like, "I'll stay for this. This is gonna be, like, a fun argument. Why not?"
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs]
- LGLuis J. Gomez
So I started yelling back at her. I'm like, "Fuck you, you dumb bitch. Mind your business, you Karen." She calls the cops, right? So she's on the phone with the cops being like, "He's, he's threatening me." And now I'm like, I'm like, now I want the cops to come. Now this is, like, a whole thing. The whole block is watching. There's like 20 people on the block watching.
- SPSpeaker
It's crazy how not Puerto Rican you see yourself.
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs]
- LGLuis J. Gomez
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
I know.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Let's get the cops here.
- SPSpeaker
How does... Yeah.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Let's get the cops here.
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
Hilarious.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
They'll probably, they'll probably look at me and think-
- SPSpeaker
Yeah
- LGLuis J. Gomez
... that I'm gonna be the one who's reasonable.
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- 1:38:53 – 1:56:55
Road rage psychology to self-driving futures: horns, Teslas, Waymos, subscriptions, and food obsession detours
- SPSpeaker
What I've been taking to, I'm thinking about getting a dry erase board to keep in my car.
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
'Cause all I really wanna do is I feel like I have the skill to say something that's gonna ruin their day if they just see it real quick. You know, just, "Get back whatever you need to get back."
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm.
- SPSpeaker
The problem is now I gotta knee drive while I wipe my clever quip.
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs] Maybe instead of a dry erase board -
- SPSpeaker
"I hope your sister..." Hmm
- JRJoe Rogan
... you can get, like, a LED banner -
- SPSpeaker
Yeah
- JRJoe Rogan
... on the front of your windshield -
- SPSpeaker
You can say it
- JRJoe Rogan
... and then you can just say it - Yeah ... and it'll print it out.
- SPSpeaker
Damn.
- JRJoe Rogan
They're not gonna let you print out swears.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
They wouldn't be able to stop you.
- SPSpeaker
[laughs] He goes, "Someone's got tech money over here."
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. [laughs] Well, if you think about it, it's not a, there's no law that says you can't have that, right?
- SPSpeaker
No.
- JRJoe Rogan
Can you have a, an LED thing that shows letters? Well, I don't know. Maybe you can't.
- SPSpeaker
It might be distracting.
- JRJoe Rogan
Nah.
- SPSpeaker
Maybe not, I don't know.
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, Steve, you have the middle finger thing on your car.
- SPSpeaker
I have the middle finger on, in my car. So it-
- JRJoe Rogan
He turns it on
- SPSpeaker
... it has five, so it'll either give, like, a this, like, "Thanks, man, you let me in." It'll give like a, like s- something like a thumbs up, and then it'll give the fucking bird.
- JRJoe Rogan
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
So you just, like, hit the thing.
- JRJoe Rogan
Here, "Using an LED banner or scrolling message sign on a car is generally illegal while driving on public roads." All right. But you know what you can get? You can get a, um, one of those loudspeakers. Oh, God. 'Cause I saw one of those, uh, survival trucks. It's like a bulletproof survival truck, and it has an alarm, like, like, like a siren.
Episode duration: 2:42:18
Install uListen for AI-powered chat & search across the full episode — Get Full Transcript
Transcript of episode JgRhP4b20aY
