Joe Rogan Experience #2575 - Sam Tallent

1. 0:02 – 4:02

   Celebrating “Brut”: why Tallent wrote a hitman novel and how it became a “love letter”

   1. SPSpeaker0:02

      Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

   2. SPSpeaker0:04

      The Joe Rogan Experience.

   3. SPSpeaker0:06

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. [upbeat music] Here we are. All right, we're up.

   4. JRJoe Rogan0:13

      Sam, your book is fucking great.

   5. SPSpeaker0:16

      Thank you, Joe.

   6. JRJoe Rogan0:16

      It's really good.

   7. SPSpeaker0:17

      Thank you, man.

   8. JRJoe Rogan0:17

      It's surprising.

   9. SPSpeaker0:18

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan0:19

       Very interesting. It's, uh, you're a great writer, man.

   11. SPSpeaker0:22

       Thank you, Joe.

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:23

       You really are. It's, uh-

   13. SPSpeaker0:24

       I'm very proud of it

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:25

       ... it's really good, man.

   15. SPSpeaker0:26

       Thanks.

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:26

       Um, it's, uh, you know, it's... I mean, uh, you're a very talented comedian, so I shouldn't be surprised, but it's always surprising when someone does something outside of comedy that they're really good at.

   17. SPSpeaker0:38

       I think you should be surprised. I think you're rightfully surprised-

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:40

       [laughs]

   19. SPSpeaker0:40

       ... that, like, a filthy nightclub comic-

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:42

       [laughs]

   21. SPSpeaker0:42

       ... who's very good at selling chicken tenders, like, wrote a book that's kind of beautiful, you know? So yeah, I think that surprise-

   22. JRJoe Rogan0:48

       Well, beautiful book about an assassin-

   23. SPSpeaker0:50

       Oh, yeah

   24. JRJoe Rogan0:50

       ... which is even more interesting.

   25. SPSpeaker0:51

       Isn't that fun?

   26. JRJoe Rogan0:52

       Yeah.

   27. SPSpeaker0:52

       It's so much fun to take a thing we've all heard a million times and then, like, try and tell it, like, if it was actually happening in the real world.

   28. JRJoe Rogan0:59

       Mm-hmm.

   29. SPSpeaker0:59

       So I tried to, like, bring this down into the reality we all share, and, uh, it's violent, you know, it's sexy. I get to talk about Paris like it's fucking me. I love it.

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:10

       Yeah.
2. 4:02 – 5:52

   From writing process to “male friendship” jokes: sexuality, labels, and how people judge

   1. SPSpeaker4:02

      women 'cause, like, I've loved a lot more men. I've never fucked any man in the ass. That'd be pretty sick if I could pull that off, but-

   2. JRJoe Rogan4:08

      [laughs]

   3. SPSpeaker4:10

      ... I'm, like, trapped by he- heterosexuality. Like, I would love to, like, spend a week at a bachelor party with the boys and have the most fun, fraternity paintball, ultimate Frisbee, maybe if Jamie's there. But, uh, and then at the end of it, wouldn't it be great to just lay down and, like, blow each other?

   4. JRJoe Rogan4:25

      Uh-

   5. SPSpeaker4:26

      That'd be cool.

   6. JRJoe Rogan4:27

      No.

   7. SPSpeaker4:27

      That would be cool. Like-

   8. JRJoe Rogan4:28

      Would it be?

   9. SPSpeaker4:29

      ... if we were capable of it.

   10. JRJoe Rogan4:30

       Well, we're certainly capable of it. At gunpoint, I'm sure people are capable of a lot of things.

   11. SPSpeaker4:35

       Oh, sure, yeah.

   12. JRJoe Rogan4:36

       Yeah.

   13. SPSpeaker4:36

       But I wish I wasn't at gunpoint.

   14. JRJoe Rogan4:37

       [laughs]

   15. SPSpeaker4:37

       I wish I could do that and just be like-

   16. JRJoe Rogan4:39

       Well, you are capable of it

   17. SPSpeaker4:39

       ... "Get in here, fellas."

   18. JRJoe Rogan4:40

       You could decide to do it.

   19. SPSpeaker4:41

       No, I love fat natties and pussy.

   20. JRJoe Rogan4:43

       Well, th- yeah. So why would it be beautiful to do something that you don't love?

   21. SPSpeaker4:48

       That's what I'm saying is, like, if I was capable of that-

   22. JRJoe Rogan4:51

       Mm-hmm

   23. SPSpeaker4:51

       ... then I think that would be the ultimate expression of male friendship, would be like, "Get over here, boys." But instead-

   24. JRJoe Rogan4:56

       Well, that's what the Spartans did, right?

   25. SPSpeaker4:58

       I know, right?

   26. JRJoe Rogan4:59

       Yeah.

   27. SPSpeaker4:59

       And they were cool.

   28. JRJoe Rogan4:59

       I think-

   29. SPSpeaker5:00

       A lot of Vikings comforted each other that way.

   30. JRJoe Rogan5:02

       I think there was a lot of homosexuality all throughout human history before, I think before people started talking. [laughs]
3. 5:52 – 8:21

   Ancient exploitation, pederasty, and the “semen warriors” story

   1. JRJoe Rogan5:52

      Do you know about New Guinea?

   2. SPSpeaker5:54

      Uh-

   3. JRJoe Rogan5:54

      Do you-

   4. SPSpeaker5:54

      I know about Old Guinea. No, I don't know about New Guinea. [laughs] What?

   5. JRJoe Rogan5:57

      The, the, uh, P- Papau New Guinea.

   6. SPSpeaker5:59

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan5:59

      The, uh, the semen warriors. Do you know that story?

   8. SPSpeaker6:02

      No, but please.

   9. JRJoe Rogan6:03

      [sighs] It's rough. Okay.

   10. SPSpeaker6:04

       I'm gonna write down semen warriors.

   11. JRJoe Rogan6:06

       Yeah.

   12. SPSpeaker6:06

       Yes.

   13. JRJoe Rogan6:06

       Please write it down, because-

   14. SPSpeaker6:07

       Which could be the name of this book

   15. JRJoe Rogan6:09

       ... once you hear about this tribe, you're, you're, you're gonna be pretty freaked out.

   16. SPSpeaker6:13

       Cool.

   17. JRJoe Rogan6:14

       So, um, up- upon the age, I think it's of six years old, young boys are taken away from their mothers and given to an older man who they call their anal father. And their, uh, the folklore of their tribe is that for a man to grow strong, they must consume sperm, uh, anally and orally. And-

   18. SPSpeaker6:38

       They think they have a mouth in their butt?

   19. JRJoe Rogan6:42

       No.

   20. SPSpeaker6:42

       Okay.

   21. JRJoe Rogan6:42

       But that's ... They take, they take it.

   22. SPSpeaker6:45

       Okay.

   23. JRJoe Rogan6:46

       You know what I'm saying?

   24. SPSpeaker6:46

       No, I, yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan6:47

       You get it.

   26. SPSpeaker6:47

       I guess consume. I'm sorry. I got caught up on that.

   27. JRJoe Rogan6:49

       Well, they have to consume it in the mouth-

   28. SPSpeaker6:50

       Yeah

   29. JRJoe Rogan6:50

       ... and then they take it in the butt.

   30. SPSpeaker6:52

       Mm-hmm.
4. 8:21 – 10:10

   Cannibal rituals, prion disease talk, and how power warps people

   1. JRJoe Rogan8:21

      And, and there's two different types of can- cannibalism that they engage in. One of them is, uh, cannibalism of your enemies.

   2. SPSpeaker8:30

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan8:30

      And the other one is cannibalism of your loved ones.

   4. SPSpeaker8:33

      Okay.

   5. JRJoe Rogan8:33

      So when you kill your enemies, you eat them.

   6. SPSpeaker8:35

      Mm-hmm.

   7. JRJoe Rogan8:36

      And then when your loved ones die, they... It's a really disgusting process. They would let them sit for three days, um-

   8. SPSpeaker8:43

      Like a jerky

   9. JRJoe Rogan8:44

      ... and putrefy.

   10. SPSpeaker8:45

       Yeah.

   11. JRJoe Rogan8:45

       And they, they would put buckets underneath the body to, uh, capture the liquefying, the putrefying d- fluids, and then they would dunk their sweet potatoes into the putrefied liquids-

   12. SPSpeaker8:58

       Okay

   13. JRJoe Rogan8:58

       ... and eat it.

   14. SPSpeaker8:59

       So it's kinda like a human candied sweet potato.

   15. JRJoe Rogan9:01

       Something along those lines.

   16. SPSpeaker9:03

       Sure.

   17. JRJoe Rogan9:03

       And then they, they would eat, they would consume. He was talking about this one guy who was working with him, who had to leave the project because he gotta go back home and eat one of his relatives, 'cause they had died, and so he had to be a part of this ritual. So he had to, he had to depart.

   18. SPSpeaker9:18

       Huh.

   19. JRJoe Rogan9:18

       He had to go on his hero's journey.

   20. SPSpeaker9:20

       Sure, yeah. God damn.

   21. JRJoe Rogan9:22

       [laughs]

   22. SPSpeaker9:22

       Well, I don't know. I mean, it seems like there's a lot of, like, uh, you know, kid exploitation at all levels of, like, high power. Maybe power just ultimately leads to, like-

   23. JRJoe Rogan9:32

       Mm.

   24. SPSpeaker9:32

       ... that.

   25. JRJoe Rogan9:33

       Well, power-

   26. SPSpeaker9:33

       Once you've had every delicacy on the buffet of life-

   27. JRJoe Rogan9:35

       Right

   28. SPSpeaker9:35

       ... then you're like, "What's left?" And it's like, "Well-"

   29. JRJoe Rogan9:37

       Right. You're at a diddy party.

   30. SPSpeaker9:38

       Yeah, yeah.
5. 10:10 – 16:43

   “Red Dragon” in Denver: drug logic, property theft, and literary influences

   1. SPSpeaker10:10

      Like, uh, whatever... I remember there was this weird opium going around Denver in, like, 2006, and they called it Red Dragon. And me and my friends, you know, were reading a lot of, like, Burroughs, and we're like, "Let's get some of this Red Dragon."

   2. JRJoe Rogan10:23

      Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

   3. SPSpeaker10:24

      And boy howdy, if, if it didn't lead me to... The only time I've ever committed any kind of, like, big property theft is we were all fucked up on this Red Dragon, and we walked by a construction site, and my buddy Crusty was like, "Hey, these lights go for, like, $800 a pop." And next thing I know, I'm just, like, carrying two huge, like, construction lights down the street.

   4. JRJoe Rogan10:43

      [laughs]

   5. SPSpeaker10:44

      And the cops came, and they, like, see, like, a giant man, you know? And I, like, put them down, and they were like, "What are you doing with those lights?" And I was like, "Oh, I, I thought we were supposed to set up for work here." And they were like, "Okay, carry on." [laughs]

   6. JRJoe Rogan10:55

      Oh, nice.

   7. SPSpeaker10:56

      Yeah, so then I was just like, you know, I was like, "I gotta do opium forever. It makes me bulletproof." [laughs]

   8. JRJoe Rogan11:00

      [laughs]

   9. SPSpeaker11:00

      Like, apparently under the powers of opium, I'm the most persuasive person ever.

   10. JRJoe Rogan11:04

       Oh.

   11. SPSpeaker11:05

       And then that kind of drug logic, you try and apply it to, like, charming your teachers or whatever it is, and you're, like, on the nod in rhetoric class.

   12. JRJoe Rogan11:12

       How old were you when you were doing this?

   13. SPSpeaker11:14

       18, 19.

   14. JRJoe Rogan11:15

       Okay, so this is college, like, first years of college.

   15. SPSpeaker11:17

       Yeah, yeah, uh-huh.

   16. JRJoe Rogan11:18

       And how were you consuming this opium? You smoking it?

   17. SPSpeaker11:21

       Oh, yeah, smoking it.

   18. JRJoe Rogan11:22

       Oh.

   19. SPSpeaker11:22

       We, we bought, like, a very, like... We all pooled our money to get, like, a special opium pipe.

   20. JRJoe Rogan11:27

       What did they look like?

   21. SPSpeaker11:28

       I can't re- I was so high on opium. [laughs] I don't know.

   22. JRJoe Rogan11:30

       [laughs]

   23. SPSpeaker11:30

       And we were always smoking it in the back of someone's car, you know? So it's like the ritual of it was never there. It was like, let's get high and, like, go to CiCi's Pizza Buffet, you know? [laughs] Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan11:39

       That is a ritual. It's not traditional, but-

   25. SPSpeaker11:41

       Oh, dude

   26. JRJoe Rogan11:41

       ... all rituals eventually become traditional, Steve.

   27. SPSpeaker11:44

       Do, is it, was it this stuff? Do you know?

   28. JRJoe Rogan11:46

       No, but, uh-

   29. SPSpeaker11:47

       Dragon's Blood, something like that? Because they're say- I'm looking it up.

   30. JRJoe Rogan11:50

       Mm-hmm.
6. 16:43 – 20:07

   Spite, envy, and the modern comedy grind: promo fatigue and “cringe” work

   1. SPSpeaker16:43

      Well, it's easier to, uh, be mad at people than to better your own position.

   2. JRJoe Rogan16:46

      Mm-hmm.

   3. SPSpeaker16:46

      It's like I lost all this weight, and people are like, "You look sick." And, like, beforehand-

   4. JRJoe Rogan16:50

      [laughs]

   5. SPSpeaker16:50

      ... people were like, "Look how fat this guy is. He's the fattest guy ever." And it's like, "All right, what do you want? Why are you guys so obsessed with my body?"

   6. JRJoe Rogan16:57

      Well, there is no solution.

   7. SPSpeaker16:58

      No.

   8. JRJoe Rogan16:59

      You cannot make everyone happy. It will not happen.

   9. SPSpeaker17:02

      I know.

   10. JRJoe Rogan17:02

       It's impossible.

   11. SPSpeaker17:03

       And when you do try to make everyone happy, the shit that you make as, like, an artist is so bad-

   12. JRJoe Rogan17:07

       Yep

   13. SPSpeaker17:07

       ... 'cause you're trying to make shit for, you know, the comment section.

   14. JRJoe Rogan17:10

       Mm-hmm.

   15. SPSpeaker17:10

       And it's like, I never got in ... When I got into stand-up, it was 2005, and, like, all the things that we have to do now as comedians weren't there. You could just, like, be funny, maybe do coning, and then, like, you gotta do all the Funny Bones.

   16. JRJoe Rogan17:23

       Mm-hmm.

   17. SPSpeaker17:23

       And, like, that was all I wanted. I wanted to, like, be in clubs. And now all the shit that surrounds comedy is, like, super embarrassing and cringe-

   18. JRJoe Rogan17:30

       Like what?

   19. SPSpeaker17:30

       ... and I hate it. Like promo.

   20. JRJoe Rogan17:32

       Oh, yeah.

   21. SPSpeaker17:32

       You know, like make the Instagram posts. Like, you know, any of that shit that's like ... Like, like all the shit that my super successful friends are good at is shit that makes me wanna, like, buy a bullet and rent a gun. You know?

   22. JRJoe Rogan17:45

       [laughs]

   23. SPSpeaker17:45

       Like, I wanna, like, hang myself from a sturdy rope when I'm like, "Oh yeah, I gotta get engagement. I need to comment the first 30 minutes that the post is up so that more people will see it." It's like, I wanna pay someone so much money to do all of this so I don't have to anymore.

   24. JRJoe Rogan17:59

       Well, you could.

   25. SPSpeaker18:00

       I know.

   26. JRJoe Rogan18:01

       Or you could just post that's where you're gonna be and then just leave it alone. That's probably the best solution. 'Cause your fans certainly wanna know when you're going to be somewhere-

   27. SPSpeaker18:10

       Yeah

   28. JRJoe Rogan18:10

       ... and it sucks if you find out that a comic that you love came to your town and you missed out because they didn't post about it.

   29. SPSpeaker18:17

       Mm-hmm.

   30. JRJoe Rogan18:17

       So you wanna know, so just make a post. Just make it-
7. 20:07 – 28:17

   Connecticut, Italians, and the road: what “building a market” used to mean

   1. SPSpeaker20:07

      It's more that it feels fraudulent to me.

   2. JRJoe Rogan20:10

      Yep.

   3. SPSpeaker20:10

      You know what I mean? It's not so much I'm worried about people disliking whatever dumb promo post I put. It's just, like, I'm worried that people will be able to understand how hollow the sentiment is that I'm communicating.

   4. JRJoe Rogan20:21

      Mm-hmm.

   5. SPSpeaker20:22

      Like, I'm going to the Funny Bone in Hartford this weekend. I'm stoked to be there.

   6. JRJoe Rogan20:26

      Hartford, Connecticut?

   7. SPSpeaker20:26

      Yeah, yeah. But I think to many of the people who, like, go to that club and have been going to that club, if I were to say, "I'm coming to my favorite club in the country, the Hartford Funny Bone," they'd be like-

   8. JRJoe Rogan20:36

      Incorrect

   9. SPSpeaker20:36

      ... "This guy's a fucking liar."

   10. JRJoe Rogan20:37

       That's not true.

   11. SPSpeaker20:37

       "We go there. It's, it can't possibly be. How many other clubs does he do?"

   12. JRJoe Rogan20:41

       Unless you really like people that are stuck, you don't like Connecticut.

   13. SPSpeaker20:46

       [laughs]

   14. JRJoe Rogan20:47

       People are stuck.

   15. SPSpeaker20:48

       The WW-

   16. JRJoe Rogan20:49

       And by the way, one of my best friends lives in Connecticut.

   17. SPSpeaker20:51

       Yeah.

   18. JRJoe Rogan20:51

       I should just say, I love people in Connecticut, but I used to say that Connecticut's not a real state. It's a highway between Boston and New York.

   19. SPSpeaker20:57

       I think that's fair.

   20. JRJoe Rogan20:58

       It's real.

   21. SPSpeaker20:59

       Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan20:59

       Listen, I performed in Connecticut a lot-

   23. SPSpeaker21:01

       Yeah

   24. JRJoe Rogan21:01

       ... in my early days.

   25. SPSpeaker21:02

       Mm-hmm.

   26. JRJoe Rogan21:02

       And it is the worst place on Earth.

   27. SPSpeaker21:05

       Dude, what-

   28. JRJoe Rogan21:05

       Not on Earth, not true. I, I, I, I'm sure.

   29. SPSpeaker21:07

       Yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan21:08

       You know, p- performing in Iraq currently would probably be a lot worse.
8. 28:17 – 30:08

   Free tickets, genreless comedy, and converting first-timers into fans

   1. SPSpeaker28:17

      I went from 40 people in Omaha to-

   2. JRJoe Rogan28:19

      Mm-hmm

   3. SPSpeaker28:19

      ... 80 to 160 to adding shows.

   4. JRJoe Rogan28:21

      Mm-hmm.

   5. SPSpeaker28:21

      And it's like-

   6. JRJoe Rogan28:22

      That's fun.

   7. SPSpeaker28:23

      It was great.

   8. JRJoe Rogan28:24

      Yeah, that's a really satisfying, rewarding thing when you've actually built a market.

   9. SPSpeaker28:28

      Yeah. It feels good. And when people come out now and they're like, "This is the seventh time I've seen you," it's like-

   10. JRJoe Rogan28:34

       That's nice

   11. SPSpeaker28:35

       ... I feel good, but I'm also immediately like, "Shit, I hope I had, like, all new stuff this time."

   12. JRJoe Rogan28:39

       Right, right, right, right, right.

   13. SPSpeaker28:40

       You know? [laughs] Like, I know I have 50 new, but I still have five I'm closing on from last time I was in Chicago.

   14. JRJoe Rogan28:44

       And also if someone's a Sam Tallent fan, like boy, you gotta get, you, you can't be nonchalant about that show. You gotta get fired up.

   15. SPSpeaker28:51

       Oh, yeah. And they are.

   16. JRJoe Rogan28:52

       Yeah.

   17. SPSpeaker28:53

       I'm so grateful. And also, now I get these, like, kids who come out, 'cause I'll do, like, Hive Mind or Gillis. Like, the people who get, like, young people, like, in their demographics.

   18. JRJoe Rogan29:01

       Mm-hmm.

   19. SPSpeaker29:02

       So now I have, like, 22-year-olds at the shows. And man, you can see on their faces it's the first time they haven't been on their phone for 90 minutes in their entire life.

   20. JRJoe Rogan29:12

       [laughs]

   21. SPSpeaker29:13

       And they're sitting there, and they, like, don't know what to do. And then I'll be like, "Hey, nice hat, stupid." And they're like, "What?"

   22. JRJoe Rogan29:18

       [laughs]

   23. SPSpeaker29:19

       'Cause, like, they don't know the rules or the conventions of this thing they're at. And they're at the merch line afterward. They're always like, "That was my first show." And I'm like, "Bro, I think I set the bar pretty high." Like-

   24. JRJoe Rogan29:29

       Jeremy Clarkson.

   25. SPSpeaker29:30

       Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan29:30

       You know, do you know who he is?

   27. SPSpeaker29:31

       Uh-huh.

   28. JRJoe Rogan29:32

       He came to Kill Tony the other night, and he said it was his first time at a comedy club.

   29. SPSpeaker29:36

       Whoa.

   30. JRJoe Rogan29:37

       Yeah.
9. 30:08 – 36:20

   Kill Tony’s arena nightmare: the O2 London show that imploded

   1. JRJoe Rogan30:08

      'Cause I did the one at the O2 in London that no one will ever see 'cause it was so bad.

   2. SPSpeaker30:12

      [laughs]

   3. JRJoe Rogan30:13

      Like, it had to be buried in the desert.

   4. SPSpeaker30:15

      What was bad about it?

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:16

      Oh, my God. [laughs]

   6. SPSpeaker30:18

      What was-

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:19

      Has Tony ever talked about this with you?

   8. SPSpeaker30:20

      Yeah, he told me it was hell.

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:21

      Oh, it was the worst thing that's ever happened to me as an artist. [laughs] It was brutal. We get there-

   10. SPSpeaker30:25

       Whoa. Jesus Christ.

   11. JRJoe Rogan30:26

       And I, we get there, man, and, uh, you know, it's like the biggest thing ever. Uh, I'm very flattered to be asked to be on it. Uh, I-

   12. SPSpeaker30:35

       We, we get there and the show is starting later, and the people who work at the... The security people are like, "These are people that we traditionally don't get attending performances. A lot of these people took the train in or came from the countryside, and they're, um, it seems like they're drinking beers in the parking lot." And I was like, "Yo, they're tailgating." And they were like, "What's that mean?" And I was like, "Oh, you guys aren't aware of this phenomenon." So we get out there, and he put out the band, and the band plays for a while. And, uh, we're all in the back, and they're waiting for people to trickle in, and before the show starts, there's various fistfights and pe- people are being removed for doing cocaine at their seats like it's Studio 54.

   13. JRJoe Rogan31:15

       [laughs]

   14. SPSpeaker31:16

       So we're in the back, and like-

   15. JRJoe Rogan31:17

       Oh, this sounds great. What happened wrong? [laughs]

   16. SPSpeaker31:19

       Whoa. Well, hold on. Let me get to the funny part. So, [laughs] so dude, we come out finally, and Redban and, uh, Tony get their due aplomb, and then they're like, "Are you ready for your guest?" And everyone is-

   17. JRJoe Rogan31:33

       I like that Tony impression. [laughs]

   18. SPSpeaker31:34

       Everyone... [laughs] "Who's ready? Uh, this man is a legend in show business." And they, I think everyone thinks it's Piers Morgan, 'cause I was told Piers Morgan was gonna do it, so I have all these great jokes about, uh, calling him 007. I, I was gonna fuck him up and call him Pierce Brosnan the whole night. So I have, like, about 30 minutes of funny Piers Morgan jokes.

   19. JRJoe Rogan31:55

       Oh, boy.

   20. SPSpeaker31:56

       Right? Yeah, it would've been great. Piers Morgan can't make it, so it's just Sam Tallent. And when they say S- "Sam Tallent," people are like, "All right, cool." And they're waiting for someone else, probably a British celebrity. No, no. It's just me. So we sit down, and we do our best, and the first comic who comes out is a bucket person, you know? Or no, I think... I can't remember who went first, but the first bucket comes out, and they say, uh, "So I rode the train in from Essex," and a packed O2 starts screaming, "Fuck Essex. You dogs. Everyone from Essex fucks their mother. Back up north, you pikey." Like-

   21. JRJoe Rogan32:35

       Wow

   22. SPSpeaker32:35

       ... it's insane. And then this comic is immediately, his ego is shattered, his brain's exploded. It's his worst nightmare ever. There's an arena screaming at him, and then he has to stumble into his punchline. Goes terribly.

   23. JRJoe Rogan32:49

       [laughs]

   24. SPSpeaker32:50

       Try to do the interview, and it's like, "So how long have you been doing it?" And he's, like, looking around like he just came out of a coma, you know? And he's like, "Oh, this is my first time ever doing stand-up."

   25. JRJoe Rogan33:00

       Oh, boy.

   26. SPSpeaker33:01

       I think of the bucket pulls on that show, the most tenured performer had done it six times.

   27. JRJoe Rogan33:08

       Holy shit.

   28. SPSpeaker33:08

       So you had a literal arena full of people who have taken the train or flown in from all over Europe for this.

   29. JRJoe Rogan33:15

       Oh, boy.

   30. SPSpeaker33:16

       And then dude, like, there... So there was very... The, every time a comic would say, "So, you know, I'm from Pakistan," every slur you've ever heard from snuff comes out. You know? Like-
10. 36:20 – 45:49

    Fame as an interruption machine: photos, lines, and becoming an object

    1. SPSpeaker36:20

       Like, there's, like, tunnels in every building that are, like, for Will Smith and guys like Shane. It's like Shane, we do Grand Rapids, he can't walk and get a coffee in the morning. It's an hour-and-a-half procedure 'cause everyone that sees him has to get a picture. It's like you can no longer exist as a person. It's like I would much rather not Be hyper rich and, like, still be able to just go in the world than, like, to have all the money. Like, what do you... How is it? What's it like?

    2. JRJoe Rogan36:45

       Yeah. It's odd, but it is what it is.

    3. SPSpeaker36:49

       Right.

    4. JRJoe Rogan36:50

       You just accept it. The, the key is, like, the real problem is people interrupt things. The, the g- like, they wanna interrupt dinners, they wanna, uh, come over to your ta-

    5. SPSpeaker36:59

       Mm-hmm

    6. JRJoe Rogan36:59

       ... that's, that's a problem.

    7. SPSpeaker37:00

       Right.

    8. JRJoe Rogan37:00

       That's, that's an issue, and it's, it's it's a little rude while they're interrupting while you're in the middle of a meal. I know they're just trying to be nice, but in public, the key is just you gotta, you gotta learn to reset with every person that you meet.

    9. SPSpeaker37:12

       Mm-hmm.

    10. JRJoe Rogan37:13

        Like, reset. This is a completely new... This is not, "Oh, my God, another person." You have to reset.

    11. SPSpeaker37:17

        Yeah. Have an honest interaction.

    12. JRJoe Rogan37:19

        Yeah, yeah, yeah.

    13. SPSpeaker37:19

        A sincere interaction.

    14. JRJoe Rogan37:21

        And but the, the real problem is then it becomes a line, and then it becomes a thing where people who don't even know who the fuck you are want to take a picture with you.

    15. SPSpeaker37:27

        Dude.

    16. JRJoe Rogan37:27

        And then-

    17. SPSpeaker37:28

        We were, we were in that coffee shop with Shane, and an old Asian man came over, and it was just, like, in Chinese or whatever, Mandarin, was like-

    18. JRJoe Rogan37:34

        Yeah

    19. SPSpeaker37:35

        ... "Picture? Picture?" And Shane looks at me, and he's like, "This guy doesn't speak English. Let's get a photo."

    20. JRJoe Rogan37:39

        Yeah.

    21. SPSpeaker37:39

        He had no idea who he was.

    22. JRJoe Rogan37:40

        Mm-hmm.

    23. SPSpeaker37:40

        But he saw everyone taking pictures with this guy.

    24. JRJoe Rogan37:43

        Yeah.

    25. SPSpeaker37:43

        Yeah. It's just like-

    26. JRJoe Rogan37:44

        That's a weird thing with cameras.

    27. SPSpeaker37:46

        Yeah

    28. JRJoe Rogan37:46

        With phones. Cameras and phones, and then social media likes. You know, if you have a picture with Shane Gillis, you're gonna get thousands of likes.

    29. SPSpeaker37:53

        For sure.

    30. JRJoe Rogan37:53

        Yeah.
11. 45:49 – 48:59

    Gardening vs doomscrolling: escaping the phone and defending subjectivity

    1. JRJoe Rogan45:49

       There's a delicious recipe, or it looks delicious at least I should say, that I wanna try. I saw this guy, he cooked a chicken inside of a pumpkin, and what he did was he took an actual pumpkin, he hollowed it out, and inside of it he put a, a chicken. He put all these herbs and spices on the chicken, and then put a bunch of p- t- potatoes and tomatoes and carrots and a bunch of things inside with the pumpkin, and I feel like maybe he put chicken broth or ch- chicken stock in there as well, and then put the whole thing inside of an oven. And so the pumpkin sort of collapsed-

    2. SPSpeaker46:23

       Yeah, yeah

    3. JRJoe Rogan46:23

       ... fr- and then pulls it out after whatever amount of time, and opened it and pulled this chicken out. It was moist and delicious, and then plated it up. It looked fantastic.

    4. SPSpeaker46:32

       Yeah, but-

    5. JRJoe Rogan46:32

       I wanna try it

    6. SPSpeaker46:33

       ... that's chicken in a pumpkin.

    7. JRJoe Rogan46:34

       Yeah.

    8. SPSpeaker46:35

       You're saying eat the pumpkin.

    9. JRJoe Rogan46:35

       But he ate the pumpkin as well.

    10. SPSpeaker46:36

        I wanna eat the chicken.

    11. JRJoe Rogan46:37

        But pumpkin tastes good.

    12. SPSpeaker46:38

        Pumpkin's okay. I like the seeds.

    13. JRJoe Rogan46:40

        No, but, but the pumpkin meat, if you cook it right, is good.

    14. SPSpeaker46:43

        Look, man.

    15. JRJoe Rogan46:44

        Pumpkin... You don't like pumpkin pie?

    16. SPSpeaker46:46

        I do not.

    17. JRJoe Rogan46:47

        Really?

    18. SPSpeaker46:47

        I like good pie that's not a holdover from World War II.

    19. JRJoe Rogan46:51

        Pumpkin pie is a holdover?

    20. SPSpeaker46:52

        That's like a victory garden. Yeah, that was like, "Hey, you know, the GIs are coming home."

    21. JRJoe Rogan46:55

        God, it's, like, my favorite.

    22. SPSpeaker46:56

        Well, hey, man.

    23. JRJoe Rogan46:57

        Pumpkin pie with a little bit of whipped cream on it. Oh, it's so good.

    24. SPSpeaker47:00

        It's subjective. You're allowed to like pie.

    25. JRJoe Rogan47:02

        Of course.

    26. SPSpeaker47:03

        Yeah.

    27. JRJoe Rogan47:03

        I'm not s- I'm angry at you that you like pumpkin pie, that you don't like pumpkin pie.

    28. SPSpeaker47:05

        I, I get angry about subjectivity 'cause people will be like, "You're not funny," and it's like, well, it's subjective. Like, what are you talking about?

    29. JRJoe Rogan47:12

        Yeah.

    30. SPSpeaker47:12

        Like, trying to apply objective rules and boundaries to standup is, like, the most asinine thing and-
12. 48:59 – 1:21:50

    Pressure, “being scared,” and staying creative: Hicks, specials, and not feeding on praise

    1. JRJoe Rogan48:59

       Did you run into a period where you didn't? Like are you struggling with that?

    2. SPSpeaker49:02

       I still love on stage. I love ... I'm so grateful for like the meet and greet aspect. I love talking to the people. I love putting my armpits on their necks after the show-

    3. JRJoe Rogan49:12

       [laughs]

    4. SPSpeaker49:12

       ... and taking the pictures, you know?

    5. JRJoe Rogan49:14

       What don't you love?

    6. SPSpeaker49:15

       Uh, I mean, 45 weekends a year in an airport's tough.

    7. JRJoe Rogan49:19

       Yeah.

    8. SPSpeaker49:19

       You know?

    9. JRJoe Rogan49:20

       Yeah.

    10. SPSpeaker49:20

        Uh, ticket counts are fucking brutal.

    11. JRJoe Rogan49:22

        Yeah.

    12. SPSpeaker49:22

        You know, the emails, the promo stuff. Uh, trying, like trying to be like a normal person while also constantly promoting yourself is so strange. Like-

    13. JRJoe Rogan49:32

        Yeah

    14. SPSpeaker49:33

        ... and it's not why I got into it.

    15. JRJoe Rogan49:34

        Right.

    16. SPSpeaker49:34

        Like if I could sell f- 600 tickets a weekend in a city, like that's all I want, and I can do that now. But then you get agents and like they're awesome, but they're also like, "Why don't we add a show?" And it's like, "'Cause no one's gonna come to the 4:00 on Saturday."

    17. JRJoe Rogan49:48

        They just want money.

    18. SPSpeaker49:49

        Exactly.

    19. JRJoe Rogan49:49

        Yeah, you have to ignore them. That's where a manager comes into play.

    20. SPSpeaker49:53

        I just got management, and they're, they're fucking good, dude.

    21. JRJoe Rogan49:55

        That's good.

    22. SPSpeaker49:56

        Yeah.

    23. JRJoe Rogan49:56

        If you got a good manager-

    24. SPSpeaker49:57

        Yeah

    25. JRJoe Rogan49:57

        ... a good manager ... So for people that don't understand this, um, a manager looks out for your career. An agent works for you. So a manager is a partner.

    26. SPSpeaker50:06

        Right.

    27. JRJoe Rogan50:06

        Like a man- I've had the same manager since I was an open mic-er.

    28. SPSpeaker50:08

        Whoa.

    29. JRJoe Rogan50:09

        Yeah. He found me in Boston-

    30. SPSpeaker50:11

        Yeah
13. 1:21:50 – 1:31:19

    Book culture, literary gatekeeping, and “male books”: what gets promoted and what gets ignored

    1. SPSpeaker1:21:50

       Well, that thing you said about how, like, comics only wrote about airplane food-

    2. JRJoe Rogan1:21:53

       Mm-hmm

    3. SPSpeaker1:21:54

       ... my issue with, uh, American literature, which still won't let me in despite this being an immediate national bestseller, no book coverage from your conventional, you know, the outlets that I... I, I, I list- I read The Paris Review. [laughs] Like, I get The Times, uh, Supplement. Like, I love all these literary things, and they still won't talk to me.

    4. JRJoe Rogan1:22:14

       Who cares?

    5. SPSpeaker1:22:15

       I do 'cause, like, I've-

    6. JRJoe Rogan1:22:16

       I ca- I understand

    7. SPSpeaker1:22:17

       ... I wanna get in there.

    8. JRJoe Rogan1:22:18

       Don't.

    9. SPSpeaker1:22:18

       I wanna go to these talks and stuff.

    10. JRJoe Rogan1:22:19

        Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't.

    11. SPSpeaker1:22:21

        But the American MFA situation, the Master in Fine Arts, all these, like, writing programs, all these kids go to these writing programs, and instead of, like, being 19 and smoking something that turns out isn't opium-

    12. JRJoe Rogan1:22:34

        [laughs]

    13. SPSpeaker1:22:34

        ... you know, uh, and getting their heart broken and, you know, living outside or being desperate, instead they go to these colleges that are, like, you know, very expensive institutions that only allow certain types of people in, and they learn how to write books from people who also went to these institutions.

    14. JRJoe Rogan1:22:52

        Mm-hmm.

    15. SPSpeaker1:22:52

        And those books are then sent off to publishing houses that are housed by people who went to these institutions, and the books that come out are completely devoid of any kind of real human experience 'cause these kids have lived in these, like, ivory towers of knowledge, and they haven't been out getting their teeth busted by reality. So every book that comes out is so fucking boring. But it has to be greenlit from the top because if this isn't good or valuable as literature, then the whole, the whole house of cards crumbles.

    16. JRJoe Rogan1:23:22

        Mm-hmm.

    17. SPSpeaker1:23:22

        Then why do you go to the MFA programs anymore? The best literature now, the best fiction comes out of Japan, it comes out of France, it comes out of-

    18. JRJoe Rogan1:23:30

        Japan? Really?

    19. SPSpeaker1:23:31

        Oh, dude, Japanese fiction is fucked. There's all these books about, like, women who eat each other.

    20. JRJoe Rogan1:23:35

        What?

    21. SPSpeaker1:23:36

        Yeah, dude. Yeah. Butter is an insane novel. Um, uh, uh, uh, Convenience Store Girl or sh- dude, Japanese fiction is still publishing stuff that used to be okay to write about 'cause it was weird and it was far out, but it's still fiction.

    22. JRJoe Rogan1:23:52

        Mm-hmm.

    23. SPSpeaker1:23:52

        And now every fucking contemporary novel that comes out in America is about, like, someone who grew up rich and feels bad about it, you know?

    24. JRJoe Rogan1:23:59

        Hmm.

    25. SPSpeaker1:23:59

        And it's, like, so boring. And then the stuff they do champion, like A Little Life, is the most ridiculous, hyperbolic bullshit that's never happened to anyone, but since these people never lived and they were all at school, they don't know what the average American is, like, doing.

    26. JRJoe Rogan1:24:15

        Right.

    27. SPSpeaker1:24:16

        So it's just everyone's out of touch, and everyone's jerking each other off-

    28. JRJoe Rogan1:24:18

        [laughs]

    29. SPSpeaker1:24:19

        ... and it's, like, this dick suck ouroboros of shit. And then I try to write a book for, like, you know, dudes to read and, like, all they talk about is, like, who's gonna save male reading? No males are reading. And then it's like-

    30. JRJoe Rogan1:24:31

        Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
14. 1:31:19 – 1:47:11

    Guns, discipline, and body maintenance: quitting alcohol, weight loss, and building routines

    1. JRJoe Rogan1:31:19

       That's like a lot of things that people didn't do before. Like, like when I was talking about bow hunting. Um, hunting has gone, gone... The activity of hunting went way up during the pandemic, and it was because people realized, like, "Hey, maybe this is something I should learn how to do if there's no fucking food."

    2. SPSpeaker1:31:35

       Sure, yeah.

    3. JRJoe Rogan1:31:35

       You know?

    4. SPSpeaker1:31:36

       Oh, yeah.

    5. JRJoe Rogan1:31:36

       Like, it's, it'd be a good thing to know how to be able to shoot a rifle and, and kill a pig and, and, you know, have food for my family.

    6. SPSpeaker1:31:43

       That's when we got our gun.

    7. JRJoe Rogan1:31:44

       Yeah.

    8. SPSpeaker1:31:44

       You know?

    9. JRJoe Rogan1:31:45

       Yeah, you start thinking.

    10. SPSpeaker1:31:45

        Us two bleeding-heart leftists, we got guns.

    11. JRJoe Rogan1:31:48

        Yeah.

    12. SPSpeaker1:31:48

        You know? Yeah.

    13. JRJoe Rogan1:31:49

        Oh, I had a lot of bleeding-heart leftists that were asking me if they could borrow one of my guns.

    14. SPSpeaker1:31:53

        Borrow a gun?

    15. JRJoe Rogan1:31:54

        Yeah.

    16. SPSpeaker1:31:54

        That's a federal crime, right?

    17. JRJoe Rogan1:31:56

        Exactly.

    18. SPSpeaker1:31:56

        Yeah. They're like-

    19. JRJoe Rogan1:31:57

        Like, hey, you can't-

    20. SPSpeaker1:31:57

        ... "Can you sand off the serial number?"

    21. JRJoe Rogan1:31:58

        Well, what's interesting is in Texas it's not a crime. So in Texas-

    22. SPSpeaker1:32:01

        Okay

    23. JRJoe Rogan1:32:01

        ... I could actually give you a gun.

    24. SPSpeaker1:32:03

        Hell yeah.

    25. JRJoe Rogan1:32:03

        Like, I, I could say, "Here, this is a gift," and I can just give you a pistol.

    26. SPSpeaker1:32:07

        You should do that for every guest.

    27. JRJoe Rogan1:32:08

        Eh.

    28. SPSpeaker1:32:08

        Send them out of here with a Ruger.

    29. JRJoe Rogan1:32:09

        Some guys do, like, I think... Who? Sean Bra- Sean Brian used to do that. He used to give people a pistol. He used to give people a Sig, like, at the beginning of every podcast.

    30. SPSpeaker1:32:22

        Yeah.
15. 1:47:11 – 1:56:00

    Comedy professionalism and legends: treating stand-up like a job and the Richard Jeni standard

    1. JRJoe Rogan1:47:11

       Yeah.

    2. SPSpeaker1:47:11

       That's how I feel about stand-up.

    3. JRJoe Rogan1:47:12

       Mm-hmm.

    4. SPSpeaker1:47:12

       I'm a professional. I show up at 6:30 for the 7:00 show. I learn everyone's h- name in the works in the club. I tip out appropriately. I treat it like a job. I'm not at all a diva at all in there. Like, I hate when I, I always love asking the green room server who's the worst one.

    5. JRJoe Rogan1:47:27

       Right. [laughs]

    6. SPSpeaker1:47:28

       That's my favorite part of the weekend.

    7. JRJoe Rogan1:47:30

       I used to ask the guy who drove everybody to the radio station.

    8. SPSpeaker1:47:33

       Oh, of course, yeah.

    9. JRJoe Rogan1:47:34

       Yeah.

    10. SPSpeaker1:47:34

        Uh-huh.

    11. JRJoe Rogan1:47:35

        And you know who it always was? Richard Jeni. It's so, such a bummer 'cause he was, like, one of my absolute favorites.

    12. SPSpeaker1:47:41

        Yeah.

    13. JRJoe Rogan1:47:41

        But he's a guy that wanted to be Jim Carrey.

    14. SPSpeaker1:47:45

        Mm-hmm.

    15. JRJoe Rogan1:47:45

        He wanted to be Jerry Seinfeld.

    16. SPSpeaker1:47:47

        Mm-hmm.

    17. JRJoe Rogan1:47:47

        He wanted to be a movie star or a television star, and it didn't happen, and he was the best club comic on Earth and hated it.

    18. SPSpeaker1:47:54

        Yeah.

    19. JRJoe Rogan1:47:55

        And was selling out everywhere he went and making a great living.

    20. SPSpeaker1:47:58

        Mm-hmm.

    21. JRJoe Rogan1:47:58

        But it didn't matter. And-

    22. SPSpeaker1:47:59

        Had the respect of all of his peers.

    23. JRJoe Rogan1:48:00

        Oh, my God.

    24. SPSpeaker1:48:01

        Mm-hmm.

    25. JRJoe Rogan1:48:01

        He was... Did you ever get to see him live?

    26. SPSpeaker1:48:03

        No, but I, I was lucky enough that my dad was, like, cool, so I've seen Richard Jeni, for sure.

    27. JRJoe Rogan1:48:08

        You have to see him li- you had to see him live.

    28. SPSpeaker1:48:10

        Yeah.

    29. JRJoe Rogan1:48:10

        He, live, he was, he was extraordinary. It was like Attell.

    30. SPSpeaker1:48:13

        Right.
16. 1:56:00 – 2:14:38

    From social-media manipulation to AI “digital life”: bots, cyberattacks, and existential stakes

    1. JRJoe Rogan1:56:00

       But yeah. Well, he... One of the things from the SNL thing is, like, his reaction to it was just delete social media.

    2. SPSpeaker1:56:07

       Mm-hmm.

    3. JRJoe Rogan1:56:08

       Which was great.

    4. SPSpeaker1:56:08

       Yeah.

    5. JRJoe Rogan1:56:09

       Very wise.

    6. SPSpeaker1:56:09

       Mm-hmm.

    7. JRJoe Rogan1:56:10

       You know? He was in it for a little while. It was, like, really fucking with his head and he's like, "Look, I'm just getting this shit off my phone."

    8. SPSpeaker1:56:15

       Yeah.

    9. JRJoe Rogan1:56:15

       And I think we all should do that.

    10. SPSpeaker1:56:17

        Oh, for sure.

    11. JRJoe Rogan1:56:18

        We all should. Yeah.

    12. SPSpeaker1:56:18

        We're being manipulated.

    13. JRJoe Rogan1:56:19

        I'm going to-

    14. SPSpeaker1:56:20

        Constantly

    15. JRJoe Rogan1:56:21

        ... I have a second, well, I have m- multiple phone numbers, but I'm gonna switch over primarily to a different phone number and then just have that phone just for if I have to post something.

    16. SPSpeaker1:56:31

        Mm-hmm.

    17. JRJoe Rogan1:56:32

        And I'm not gonna have... So, so if somebody sends me something and it's interesting, which is most of the w- way I get social media now.

    18. SPSpeaker1:56:40

        Yeah.

    19. JRJoe Rogan1:56:40

        Somebody has to send me something interesting or, and I have friends that they send me cool shit, I send them cool shit, and I'm gonna have to send it to that phone.

    20. SPSpeaker1:56:48

        Sure.

    21. JRJoe Rogan1:56:48

        And then check that phone once a day.

    22. SPSpeaker1:56:50

        Yeah.

    23. JRJoe Rogan1:56:51

        Like, "Is there anything here?" But you, you gotta get your brain back.

    24. SPSpeaker1:56:55

        Yeah.

    25. JRJoe Rogan1:56:56

        You know, you gotta get your brain back, and there's not a whole lot of ways to avoid the pull of gravity of these fucking, these apps and algorithms that are sucking us into this, this fucking hurricane of despair that we're all living in.

    26. SPSpeaker1:57:11

        Yeah, fear, bleakness.

    27. JRJoe Rogan1:57:13

        Yeah.

    28. SPSpeaker1:57:13

        Yeah, lack of resources.

    29. JRJoe Rogan1:57:14

        Anxiety. And anger. Every-

    30. SPSpeaker1:57:15

        Mm-hmm

Episode duration: 2:42:59