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The Joe Rogan ExperienceThe Joe Rogan Experience

JRE MMA Show #142 with Matt Serra, Din Thomas & John Rallo

Tom Segura is a stand-up comic, actor, podcaster, and author. He co-hosts two podcasts, "Your Mom's House," with his wife, comic Christina Pazsitsky, and "Two Bears, One Cave," with comic Bert Kreischer. He's also the host of his own podcast, "Tom Segura en Español," and is the author of "I'd Like to Play Alone, Please: Essays." His new comedy special, "Tom Segura: Sledgehammer," premieres July 4 on Netflix. www.tomsegura.com

Matt SerraguestDin ThomasguestJoe RoganhostJohn Ralloguest
Jun 27, 20243h 15mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

  1. 0:0015:00

    (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast,…

    1. MS

      (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

    2. DT

      The Joe Rogan Experience.

    3. NA

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (energetic music) We're up. We're up.

    4. JR

      Boys, what's happening?

    5. MS

      It's a reunion.

    6. JR

      What a- what a beautiful moment to get you guys-

    7. MS

      Look at this.

    8. JR

      ... together in a room.

    9. MS

      Yeah.

    10. JR

      This is awesome.

    11. JR

      This is badass.

    12. JR

      This is fucking awesome. I've known all you guys for fucking ever. Uh, I think I've known you the longest. I've known you for at least 20 years.

    13. MS

      2001, I believe.

    14. JR

      Wow.

    15. MS

      2001.

    16. JR

      I remember you were sleeping in your dojo.

    17. MS

      (laughs) Yeah.

    18. JR

      You were... He- he had a bucket, like a- a- a thing you would piss in-

    19. MS

      Yeah. (laughs)

    20. JR

      ... 'cause he drank so much water. So he had this jug next to his bed. He's like, "I'm tired. I wanna get up."

    21. MS

      (laughs)

    22. JR

      "I wanna get up and go to the bathroom. I gotta piss. I just piss right there and go back to sleep."

    23. MS

      (laughs) I- I lived in my first Storefront Academy in East Meadow, my hometown, and Joe and Eddie Bravo were in town for some reason. I think you were doing a- a gig or something.

    24. JR

      Yeah. I was doing a gig, and you came and picked us up.

    25. MS

      Yeah, at the- at the- at the-

    26. JR

      Really?

    27. MS

      ... at the Hicksville.

    28. JR

      What? At the Hicksville. Yeah, we took the train.

    29. MS

      What?

    30. JR

      And he picked us up at the train station.

  2. 15:0030:00

    Mm-hmm. …

    1. JR

      those seances helped him develop chiropractic as he wrote in his 1914 book, The Chiropractor, "The knowledge and philosophy given me by Dr. Jim Atkinson, an intelligent, spiritual being, together with explanations of pneumonia, phenomena," (laughs) rather, should've said.

    2. DT

      Mm-hmm.

    3. JR

      "Phenomena, principles resolved from causes, effects, powers, laws, and utility, appealed to my reason. The method by which I obtained an explanation of certain physical phenomena from an intelligence in the spiritual world is known in Biblical language as inspiration. In a great measure, the chiropractor's adjuster was written under such spiritual promptings." So, this guy came up with this from a seance.

    4. DT

      (laughs)

    5. (laughs)

    6. MS

      He learned it from a ghost.

    7. JR

      He learned it from a ghost. And then the idea behind it though is that you could fix all these different problems that people have by adjusting them, like all kinds of wild shit. And that they would, they would, they would, they thought they could... See what it said that they thought they could do with it, 'cause it's kind of nutty when you read, like, the stuff that he was saying he could fix.

    8. MS

      Man, I just think it feels good, like when you-

    9. JR

      Feels good.

    10. MS

      ... crack your knuckles, it feels good.

    11. JR

      Yeah, like any, anything feels good.

    12. MS

      You crack, you crack anything, it feels good.

    13. JR

      I think also getting pushed on and rubbed and a- adjusted, it's good for you.

    14. DT

      Yeah.

    15. JR

      It feels good.

    16. DT

      Yeah.

    17. JR

      It's like when I get deep tissue massage, these motherfuckers, they dig in there-

    18. DT

      Oh, yeah.

    19. JR

      ... with their elbows, and they're kind of cracking shit and moving it.

    20. DT

      Right.

    21. JR

      There's a lot of tension, and you can l- alleviate that. The, I'm not saying that being adjusted or any of these things these people do doesn't offer people help. It, I'm sure it does. Don't get me wrong. But at the end of the day, where did that come from? And why are you calling it that?

    22. MS

      Yeah, it's-

    23. JR

      So if you-

    24. MS

      ... that's some bullshit. (laughs)

    25. JR

      ... if you wanna call it, if you wanna call it, like, physical maintenance, you know, that's-

    26. MS

      That's-

    27. JR

      ... 'cause you're, you're-

    28. DT

      Right.

    29. JR

      ... literally attaching something that actually works to something that's really crazy.

    30. MS

      Yeah. Yeah.

  3. 30:0045:00

    (laughs) …

    1. MS

      headphones kind of like this, you know, have my right ... You know, I used to go ... I used to train in the morning. I used to get my head straight, and I'd go there and just whistle- I'm not going ... Now I'm gonna be there like fucking Kurt Russell in that motherfucker.

    2. JR

      (laughs)

    3. JR

      (laughs)

    4. MS

      I'm not gonna be in there like chilling, walking the fucking ... I- you have to be on guard. It's fucking nasty, dude. That's ... The couple times I've been in there, it, it is what it is, but I think you get a sense of what it's like there now. It, it's not ... You just gotta have your guard up. And I di-

    5. JR

      It's changed.

    6. MS

      ... I did not feel ... And I never lower my sword, but I didn't have to feel like I was so on edge. You see shit all the time on the fucking subway-

    7. JR

      May just have that-

    8. MS

      ... on this and that.

    9. JR

      ... guy, you know, the guy who got choked, you know, to death on the, uh, on the subway there with-

    10. MS

      Well, yeah, how did-

    11. JR

      ... the marine kid.

    12. JR

      I'm hearing all these different stories-

    13. MS

      Listen.

    14. JR

      ... in that.

    15. MS

      Yeah, well.

    16. JR

      Did, did the guy get choked to death? Is that what happened?

    17. JR

      Yeah.

    18. MS

      I don't ... Well, the ... This is th-

    19. JR

      Definitely.

    20. MS

      This is what happened, and-

    21. JR

      The guy was threatening-

    22. MS

      It's nothing, I don't-

    23. JR

      ... people on a, on a train.

    24. MS

      The guy, I don't know, the marine ... There was a marine.

    25. JR

      Right.

    26. MS

      He p- he put him in a chokehold. I don't know how long he held it for. I don't know how he held it ... Well, he's trained.

    27. JR

      Yeah, never seen the video.

    28. MS

      So this is the thing.

    29. JR

      Yeah.

    30. MS

      The people at home-... when they put a, a, a chokehold on, when you're doing it correctly, it stops the carotid arteries. I know we all know this, guys-

  4. 45:0058:53

    (laughs) …

    1. JR

      that's the wrong dude to flinch on.

    2. MS

      (laughs)

    3. JR

      Oh my god.

    4. MS

      But that's- that's the way it should be, though. Fuck yeah.

    5. DT

      I mean, yeah.

    6. MS

      You know? The guys that-

    7. DT

      I think most fighters are that way.

    8. MS

      Yeah, most fighters are like that. Most-

    9. JR

      That was totally unnecessary. Like, that guy did not have to do that to him. The whole thing was provoked. He's a dick.

    10. MS

      Yeah. He- he deserved it.

    11. JR

      Yeah, he deserved it, for sure.

    12. MS

      Yeah.

    13. DT

      (laughs)

    14. JR

      He learned a lesson. That's the universe.

    15. MS

      Man. (laughs)

    16. JR

      And those are videos for everybody to see, too. Like, kids could- should see that and go, "Oh, yeah. Don't-"

    17. MS

      It's dar- you know what it is? It's Darwinism. You know what I'm saying? Like, when you a asshole like that, you dumb-

    18. JR

      Sure.

    19. MS

      ... you get knocked out.

    20. JR

      Right, or you get eaten.

    21. MS

      Yeah, you get eaten.

    22. DT

      Back- back in the old days.

    23. Back in the day, that's how it was.

    24. JR

      Yeah.

    25. DT

      You know, if you talk shit, you got hit. You suffered consequences. Now, there are no consequences.

    26. MS

      That's why I got off- that's why I got off Twitter. I- I'm- I haven't been on Twitter in e- it's-

    27. JR

      Eh.

    28. MS

      My life is better.

    29. DT

      (laughs)

    30. MS

      It's better. I don't- I don't even know what goes on there. I haven't ... That's what I'm saying, like, I'm in my world. Like, I do the Instagram 'cause I like to spread positivity and I like to do stuff like that with my schools and stuff. But the Twitter thing, I felt, well, I don't get it. I liter- I- I get it if it's some important message that you want out there for people that can't get it out there. I get that. But otherwise, I would just see negativity. I- I don't-

Episode duration: 3:15:54

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