JRE MMA Show #36 with Brendan Schaub & Bryan Callen

1. 0:03 – 1:15

   Da Vinci, the Mona Lisa, and the “self-portrait in drag” theory

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:03

      Four, three, two, one. So we get here and young Jamie is obsessed-

   2. BSBrendan Schaub0:08

      (laughs)

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:09

      ... with whether or not Leonardo da Vinci is gay. And, uh, so he says it to Kallen, and then Kallen says-

   4. BSBrendan Schaub0:15

      (laughs)

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:15

      So you said-

   6. BCBryan Callen0:16

      I said the Mona Lisa, the Mona Lisa has a mischievous smile on her face. And appa-apparently, according to art historians, I believe that is a self-portrait, and that was da Vinci himself in drag.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:30

      Is this a conspiracy theory, sir?

   8. BCBryan Callen0:31

      And that's why he is looking back at you with sort of a wry smirk.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:36

      I don't see that wry smirk. Young Jamie, please pull up-

   10. BCBryan Callen0:39

       (clears throat)

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:39

       ... a photograph of-

   12. BSBrendan Schaub0:40

       This is-

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:40

       ... the masterpiece.

   14. BSBrendan Schaub0:41

       This is a conspiracy theory?

   15. BCBryan Callen0:41

       No. This is, I think this is-

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:42

       This is real?

   17. BCBryan Callen0:43

       I think this is, um-

   18. BSBrendan Schaub0:45

       They didn't tell you that in school, bro?

   19. BCBryan Callen0:45

       At least Dan Brown in his book, uh, The Da Vinci Code actually talks about it. But I- I- this is, I think this is-

   20. BSBrendan Schaub0:52

       You talking about the Tom Hank- you talking about the Tom Hank movies?

   21. BCBryan Callen0:53

       ... standard. Yes. Good movie. Good book.

   22. BSBrendan Schaub0:54

       Well...

   23. BCBryan Callen0:55

       Better book.

   24. BSBrendan Schaub0:55

       Well-

   25. Oh.

   26. JRJoe Rogan0:55

       The part, the book is a different thing than the movies.

   27. BSBrendan Schaub0:57

       Still though-

   28. BCBryan Callen0:57

       Dan Brown, I think, is a professor of theology in, at Harvard or he... Or something like that. (clears throat)

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:03

       Okay. I don't see a sly smile. I see-

   30. BCBryan Callen1:06

       Oh, there's a smile.
2. 1:15 – 6:01

   Fluoride in water: evidence, “hippie articles,” and trusting sources

   1. BCBryan Callen1:15

      Ho- here's an interesting thing. Do you know that, like, people did have bad teeth back then, of course, but the majority of the teeth problems that we have in this country have to do with sugar.

   2. BSBrendan Schaub1:26

      I thought it was the, uh, the water, the fluoride in the water back there.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:29

      No, no fluoride in the water. The, that fluoride in the water thing is so sketchy. Have you ever looked into whether or not fluoride should be in the water?

   4. BCBryan Callen1:36

      Well, they, I know that-

   5. BSBrendan Schaub1:37

      You ever brush your teeth in Detroit?

   6. BCBryan Callen1:38

      I know that in the '50s-

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:39

      But that's-

   8. BCBryan Callen1:39

      ... Colorado had a high concentration of fluoride in its water. And apparently the-

   9. BSBrendan Schaub1:45

      (coughs) Apparently, Brad smokes weed and turns into a fucking-

   10. BCBryan Callen1:48

       I know, I know. (laughs)

   11. BSBrendan Schaub1:49

       ... professor. (laughs)

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:50

       And another thing, everyone-

   13. BSBrendan Schaub1:51

       Apparently.

   14. BCBryan Callen1:51

       Apparently-

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:52

       Dead serious.

   16. BSBrendan Schaub1:53

       You're dead serious.

   17. BCBryan Callen1:54

       Apparently, if I could get my poker out, I'm going to poke at the, uh, at the board.

   18. JRJoe Rogan1:58

       Don't care about fluoride.

   19. BCBryan Callen1:58

       But I think, I think it came out of Colorado where there was high concentrations of fluoride in the water. And then what happened was they go, "Well, there's a cluster of people who are not getting cavities." And so apparently fluoride is effective at keeping cavities at bay. And I grew up overseas, my teeth are fucking riddled with holes.

   20. JRJoe Rogan2:17

       Terrible.

   21. BSBrendan Schaub2:17

       Terrible. (laughs) Riddled with holes. I had fucking-

   22. JRJoe Rogan2:20

       Did you eat sugar?

   23. BCBryan Callen2:21

       What? Well, not so much overseas, but I, I, uh, I definitely didn't brush my teeth a lot and I didn't have fluoride.

   24. JRJoe Rogan2:29

       Well, let's, let's Google whether or not there's evidence that fluoride is good for tooth decay, to good preventive decay.

   25. BSBrendan Schaub2:34

       You think it's all marketing hype from press?

   26. JRJoe Rogan2:36

       I don't know, man. I've read too many hippie articles.

   27. BCBryan Callen2:38

       Yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan2:38

       The problem is the hippie articles confuse you-

   29. BSBrendan Schaub2:41

       Wow.

   30. BCBryan Callen2:41

       Yeah.
3. 6:01 – 8:59

   Dental work, Invisalign, and Tom Cruise’s evolving smile

   1. JRJoe Rogan6:01

      You can kind of look at general trends. Like I said to my... I had all this metal in my teeth, right? And my dentist, I was like-

   2. BSBrendan Schaub6:07

      That can't be good for cavities.

   3. JRJoe Rogan6:07

      ... "Look, man, I gotta get it out." 'Cause, you know, it leaks mercury and... And he said, "I know, I was on the, I was on that study panel." And if you look at the massive, the massive number of people that have metal in their mouth, you'd have, you would be able to draw some pretty broad-based conclusions because you have such a huge human- Pool.

   4. BCBryan Callen6:27

      Yeah, pool.

   5. BSBrendan Schaub6:27

      Yeah.

   6. BCBryan Callen6:28

      And they just haven't. They looked at the... They do a lot of comprehensive studies to that, so.

   7. BSBrendan Schaub6:31

      Is this the same dentist who said your teeth are straight?

   8. BCBryan Callen6:34

      Uh, no, this is a different one and I'm wearing my Invisalign, so-

   9. BSBrendan Schaub6:37

      (laughs)

   10. BCBryan Callen6:37

       ... I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't go after my teeth because they're gonna be amazing.

   11. JRJoe Rogan6:40

       How do you do that? Do you wear it, wear it at night?

   12. BCBryan Callen6:41

       I'm wearing them right now and you can't tell.

   13. JRJoe Rogan6:42

       Yeah. Remember when Tom Cruise was like 50 and he got braces?

   14. BCBryan Callen6:45

       Sure did.

   15. JRJoe Rogan6:45

       Everybody was like, "Yo."

   16. BSBrendan Schaub6:46

       "Yo, what are you doing?" And then he came in with veneers. He's like, "You know what? My bad, my bad."

   17. BCBryan Callen6:49

       He also changed his voice.

   18. JRJoe Rogan6:50

       Did he?

   19. BCBryan Callen6:50

       Did you notice?

   20. JRJoe Rogan6:51

       Wait a minute. Did he do that? He went with veneers?

   21. BSBrendan Schaub6:52

       Oh, dude, you ever see the before afters?

   22. JRJoe Rogan6:54

       He's like, "I can't do the braces thing anymore."

   23. BSBrendan Schaub6:54

       Yeah, they're, they're brilliant.

   24. JRJoe Rogan6:55

       Oh.

   25. BSBrendan Schaub6:56

       His teeth are so good.

   26. JRJoe Rogan6:56

       Veneers are amazing.

   27. BCBryan Callen6:58

       Yeah.

   28. BSBrendan Schaub6:58

       That's what I'm saying, bro.

   29. JRJoe Rogan6:59

       It's amazing.

   30. BCBryan Callen6:59

       Yes.
4. 8:59 – 11:16

   Tom Cruise stunts, Scientology, and separating talent from ideology

   1. JRJoe Rogan8:59

      Homeboy was 56, still doing action movies, still does his own stunts, jumps from building to building, breaks his ankle in filming.

   2. BSBrendan Schaub9:06

      Beast. Beast.

   3. JRJoe Rogan9:06

      Have you seen that shit?

   4. BCBryan Callen9:07

      No.

   5. JRJoe Rogan9:07

      Apparently, this Mission: Impossible movie is a motherfucker.

   6. BSBrendan Schaub9:10

      And it's killing it.

   7. JRJoe Rogan9:11

      They said it's killing it. It's awesome. I keep hearing-

   8. BSBrendan Schaub9:13

      Yeah, best Mission: Possible yet. Me too.

   9. BCBryan Callen9:15

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan9:15

       I keep hearing it.

   11. BSBrendan Schaub9:16

       Everyone tells me it's great.

   12. JRJoe Rogan9:16

       I keep hearing it's fantastic.

   13. BCBryan Callen9:17

       He's still awesome, I'm sorry.

   14. JRJoe Rogan9:18

       He's a ... He's awesome.

   15. BCBryan Callen9:19

       Yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan9:20

       He's aw- ... He's crazy as fuck-

   17. BCBryan Callen9:22

       Legit movie star.

   18. JRJoe Rogan9:22

       ... but he is awesome.

   19. BCBryan Callen9:23

       He's also nice as shit.

   20. JRJoe Rogan9:25

       You know what else, dude? He's, he was bec- ... Watch this. He jumps off this and breaks his fucking ankle.

   21. BCBryan Callen9:30

       No, that ... Did he really do that?

   22. JRJoe Rogan9:31

       Yes, he did.

   23. BSBrendan Schaub9:31

       Yeah, bro. He does all his own stunts.

   24. JRJoe Rogan9:32

       He not only did do it, but watch when he lands. Watch how jacked his ankle gets.

   25. BCBryan Callen9:35

       Ow! Ow! Ow!

   26. JRJoe Rogan9:36

       See this? Boom, all fucked up.

   27. BCBryan Callen9:37

       Dude.

   28. BSBrendan Schaub9:38

       You ain't ready for that, B. You wanna be a worldwide action hero? Just ...

   29. BCBryan Callen9:41

       I can't do that. No.

   30. JRJoe Rogan9:42

       Uh, look at that. Watch how it hits. Watch how it hits.
5. 11:16 – 16:47

   Movie talk detour: Face/Off, acting classes, and ‘Gotti’ getting a zero

   1. BCBryan Callen11:16

      Good actor. Face Off?

   2. JRJoe Rogan11:17

      He's a very good actor.

   3. BCBryan Callen11:18

      Face Off?

   4. JRJoe Rogan11:19

      Dude, he's a very good actor.

   5. BCBryan Callen11:21

      Face Off was a terrible movie.

   6. JRJoe Rogan11:22

      Face Off?

   7. BSBrendan Schaub11:23

      Oh. Good movie.

   8. JRJoe Rogan11:24

      See, that's why he's wearing braces.

   9. BCBryan Callen11:25

      (laughs)

   10. BSBrendan Schaub11:25

       That's a Craig Bove movie!

   11. Good movie.

   12. JRJoe Rogan11:26

       When they cut the face off and put it on the other person?

   13. BCBryan Callen11:28

       That could happen, bro.

   14. BSBrendan Schaub11:29

       Then it's Nic- Nic Cage.

   15. JRJoe Rogan11:30

       You see that the bone structure magically changes and Nic Cage looks like John Travolta-

   16. BCBryan Callen11:34

       Hold on, bro.

   17. JRJoe Rogan11:34

       ... but John Travolta looks like Nic Cage?

   18. BSBrendan Schaub11:35

       You don't like Face Off?

   19. BCBryan Callen11:35

       Somebody's anti-technology.

   20. BSBrendan Schaub11:36

       Are you a terrorist? You don't like fucking Face Off?

   21. JRJoe Rogan11:39

       That, that shit is not real. There's no way, bro. Okay, what would happen if Brian took his face off-

   22. BCBryan Callen11:43

       Wait, do we believe Tom Cruise?

   23. JRJoe Rogan11:43

       ... and put it on you? I would think you were a monster.

   24. BCBryan Callen11:46

       People are like, "Oh, that's Brian." And then Brian got jacked.

   25. JRJoe Rogan11:46

       I would think there's a, there's a monster here.

   26. BCBryan Callen11:49

       No, people would be like, "First of all, your head's way bigger, so your skin would be like some 60-year-old lady from Bel-Air."

   27. JRJoe Rogan11:54

       (AI voice screaming)

   28. BCBryan Callen11:55

       (AI voice screaming)

   29. BSBrendan Schaub11:56

       Bro, dude-

   30. JRJoe Rogan11:56

       Those 60-year-old ladies where their mouth looks like it's so big it could eat your head-
6. 16:47 – 22:08

   Scientology firsthand stories, Going Clear, and why “purpose” can still work

   1. JRJoe Rogan16:47

      I know a lot of Scientologists.

   2. BCBryan Callen16:48

      ... told everybody that you loved them.

   3. JRJoe Rogan16:49

      I was in the class for 10 years that is cited in the book by... Uh, in, in Going Clear.

   4. BCBryan Callen16:55

      Mm.

   5. JRJoe Rogan16:56

      That whole class, that- that- that... I was in that class.

   6. BCBryan Callen16:58

      Dude, I remember.

   7. JRJoe Rogan16:58

      Yeah.

   8. BCBryan Callen16:59

      You had me come to one of those little events.

   9. JRJoe Rogan17:00

      You went? Sure did.

   10. BCBryan Callen17:01

       I went to an event, a thing that was going on.

   11. JRJoe Rogan17:04

       Watched a guy sing.

   12. BCBryan Callen17:05

       We- we- we watched a guy sing while we were so high.

   13. JRJoe Rogan17:08

       Yeah.

   14. BCBryan Callen17:08

       We were in, like, a neighboring dimension watching reality through a dirty mirror.

   15. In the Scientology building?

   16. JRJoe Rogan17:14

       Yeah.

   17. BCBryan Callen17:14

       I wanna get in there so bad.

   18. JRJoe Rogan17:15

       It was- it was near there. It was like some-

   19. BCBryan Callen17:15

       Yeah.

   20. It was near there. It was at a theater. We were barbecued. I mean, buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-barbecued.

   21. JRJoe Rogan17:21

       Freaking out.

   22. BCBryan Callen17:21

       (laughs)

   23. Freaking out watching this... They- they were singing songs from musicals.

   24. JRJoe Rogan17:26

       And it was not good and, and Joe was just like, "Wow."

   25. BCBryan Callen17:29

       (laughs)

   26. JRJoe Rogan17:30

       "This was amazing."

   27. BCBryan Callen17:30

       Dude, they have so much money.

   28. JRJoe Rogan17:32

       Yeah.

   29. BCBryan Callen17:32

       I drove by the one in, uh... It's kinda like the Silver Lake area of Hollywood. Fuck, man.

   30. JRJoe Rogan17:37

       They got a lot of money, yeah.
7. 22:08 – 24:34

   Pre-internet gullibility: Dianetics infomercials, steroids myths, and Google-era scrutiny

   1. JRJoe Rogan22:08

      Well, I think people want something that makes it... Look, I bought the book. I bought Dianetics.

   2. BCBryan Callen22:13

      Yeah, me too.

   3. JRJoe Rogan22:13

      I bought it through a late night ad-

   4. BCBryan Callen22:15

      You bought it?

   5. JRJoe Rogan22:15

      ... in 1994, son.

   6. BCBryan Callen22:17

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan22:17

      Pre-internet. I was at home-

   8. BCBryan Callen22:18

      God.

   9. JRJoe Rogan22:19

      ... chilling in my apartment in North Hollywood.

   10. BCBryan Callen22:21

       (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan22:21

       And I was like, "Damn, this sounds like they're making a lot of sense here."

   12. BCBryan Callen22:24

       Wow. (laughs)

   13. (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan22:25

       Yeah.

   15. BCBryan Callen22:25

       And it, and it does make sense.

   16. JRJoe Rogan22:26

       The volcano, the lava.

   17. BCBryan Callen22:28

       (laughs) What the fuck?

   18. Dude.

   19. But some of it does make sense, right?

   20. JRJoe Rogan22:30

       Listen, what are you, 35?

   21. BCBryan Callen22:31

       Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan22:31

       Okay. I'm 50. 15 years older than you. So you got to think, you don't really remember before the internet.

   23. BCBryan Callen22:38

       No, not really.

   24. JRJoe Rogan22:38

       You were like an infant.

   25. BCBryan Callen22:39

       Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan22:39

       Okay? I was here as a grown man when the internet hit in 1994. But before that, p-... You would get late night infomercials. You'd be buying fucking squeegees and shit and-

   27. BCBryan Callen22:50

       We were pre-cellphone.

   28. ... sponge rackers.

   29. Yeah, I was pre-cellphone, bro.

   30. JRJoe Rogan22:53

       Yeah, when I met Ryan, he didn't have a phone.
8. 24:34 – 26:23

   Tony Robbins, fire-walking physics, and why people fall for spectacle

   1. JRJoe Rogan24:34

      I had Anthony Robbins cassettes. I had a fucking-

   2. BCBryan Callen24:37

      Me too.

   3. JRJoe Rogan24:37

      It was a vinyl thing and you'd open it up. It had all these different cassettes. And I would listen to those by the pool in my shitty apartment in Ravenna.

   4. BCBryan Callen24:44

      Tony Robbins?

   5. JRJoe Rogan24:44

      Yes, man.

   6. BCBryan Callen24:44

      But didn't you get a lot from... I got a lot out of those.

   7. JRJoe Rogan24:46

      Got a lot from it.

   8. BCBryan Callen24:46

      He's legit as fuck, though.

   9. I got a lot out of that.

   10. JRJoe Rogan24:49

       Legit.

   11. BCBryan Callen24:49

       Tony Robbins is as good as legit. Tony Robbins is legit.

   12. Now, now there's a bunch of people trying to do his shit.

   13. JRJoe Rogan24:53

       Just a lot of frauds.

   14. BCBryan Callen24:53

       All buying... Just smoking his-

   15. Tony Robbins knows how the human brain works. I, I, I found him enormously helpful.

   16. He's brilliant.

   17. JRJoe Rogan24:58

       But there's guys that it's the same thing as, like, with musicians or with carpenters or with comedians. A-

   18. BCBryan Callen25:04

       (laughs)

   19. JRJoe Rogan25:05

       There's people that are just kind of bumbling through it and there's people that kill it.

   20. BCBryan Callen25:09

       Yep.

   21. JRJoe Rogan25:09

       And, and when it comes to, like, the self-help personal growth type shit-

   22. BCBryan Callen25:13

       Yeah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan25:13

       ... he kills it.

   24. BCBryan Callen25:13

       Yes.

   25. JRJoe Rogan25:13

       But here's what's interesting.... people are so goofy that, you know, he does those f- coal walk things. These dumb motherfuckers are trying to take selfies while they're coal walking and they're burning their feet off-

   26. BSBrendan Schaub25:23

       Oh, my God.

   27. JRJoe Rogan25:24

       ... 'cause these stupid fucks actually believe that their, the- the power-

   28. BSBrendan Schaub25:28

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan25:28

       ... of their will is keeping them from...

   30. BSBrendan Schaub25:30

       Yeah.
9. 26:23 – 31:49

   Foot horror stories: cliff jumps, barefoot shoes, infections, and toenail surgery

   1. JRJoe Rogan26:23

      Do you know Shane Maus?

   2. BSBrendan Schaub26:24

      No.

   3. JRJoe Rogan26:24

      The standup comic?

   4. BSBrendan Schaub26:26

      No.

   5. JRJoe Rogan26:26

      He, um, was hiking at night and jumped off of, like, a cliff and landed on his feet and broke both of his feet.

   6. BSBrendan Schaub26:36

      Fucking A.

   7. JRJoe Rogan26:37

      He jumped and landed, like, 10 feet below.

   8. BSBrendan Schaub26:40

      God damn.

   9. JRJoe Rogan26:40

      In the mountains. He had to figure out how to get down.

   10. BSBrendan Schaub26:42

       What was he thinking?

   11. JRJoe Rogan26:43

       He was- he just fucked up. He made a mistake. I forget the exact story. Do you remember the exact story?

   12. JVJamie Vernon26:48

       I think it was, like, a very, like, normal jump. It wasn't anything crazy. Like, he didn't jump somewhere. He just, like, dropped or, like-

   13. JRJoe Rogan26:52

       I think he-

   14. JVJamie Vernon26:53

       ... took a step down or something.

   15. JRJoe Rogan26:54

       ... I- I might be conflating him with someone else. There was another person I know that fell at night and they di- they, it might be a different story. I'm thinking of a second guy who also fell on cliffs. Anywa- either way.

   16. BSBrendan Schaub27:07

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan27:07

       Shane Mouse broke both of his feet. And he-

   18. BSBrendan Schaub27:09

       I think he was using crutches for, like, six months.

   19. JRJoe Rogan27:11

       Oh, I think it- I think it was the book Blood Meridian and he talks about- and this apparently was a practice of his. There was a tribe, this cowboy gets captured by these Native Americans and the Native Americans kill the- his whole posse. And then they take him and they take his feet, uh, his shoes off. And they just cut the first layer of his feet off. They kinda give him a nice shaving so that just the soles of his feet are taken off.

   20. BSBrendan Schaub27:37

       So fucked up.

   21. JRJoe Rogan27:37

       And they- and so he would have to crawl back into town-

   22. BSBrendan Schaub27:40

       Jesus.

   23. JRJoe Rogan27:40

       ... to explain to them who the fuck was out there. (laughs)

   24. BSBrendan Schaub27:43

       Jesus.

   25. BCBryan Callen27:43

       Jesus.

   26. JRJoe Rogan27:43

       That would suck.

   27. BSBrendan Schaub27:44

       Some dark shit.

   28. JRJoe Rogan27:44

       And he had to crawl, like, 10 miles and shit.

   29. BSBrendan Schaub27:47

       Oh my gosh.

   30. JVJamie Vernon27:48

       There's a story about it.
10. 31:49 – 33:41

    Comedy life updates: Chicago shows, specials, and the grind of touring

    1. BSBrendan Schaub31:49

       So I- I opened up for Brian in Chicago, and I do like this dirty bit. (laughs) We're in the back and his- his mom and his dad, I'm like ... Oh, it hit me right when they walked in. I went, "Oh, fuck. I just did that in front of Brian's mom, dad, his two kids, and his wife." I was like, notice I just went quiet.

    2. JRJoe Rogan32:05

       (tires screeching)

    3. BCBryan Callen32:06

       I was so ... I was like, "Oh, fuck." You were great. It was funny though. He was funny.

    4. BSBrendan Schaub32:09

       You gotta do what you gotta do.

    5. JRJoe Rogan32:10

       That's what I was like, "You guys decided to come."

    6. BSBrendan Schaub32:11

       "Hey, you decided to come."

    7. BCBryan Callen32:12

       Yeah, that's it.

    8. BSBrendan Schaub32:12

       "I'm not changing it for you."

    9. JRJoe Rogan32:13

       No. No.

    10. BSBrendan Schaub32:14

        "I can't. I gotta do my thing. I apologize."

    11. BCBryan Callen32:15

        Yeah. They loved it, man. They loved it.

    12. BSBrendan Schaub32:16

        Don't get mad at me.

    13. BCBryan Callen32:16

        They loved it.

    14. BSBrendan Schaub32:16

        I was so embarrassed though.

    15. JRJoe Rogan32:17

        It's comedy. Don't get mad. Fuck no.

    16. BSBrendan Schaub32:19

        Don't get mad.

    17. BCBryan Callen32:19

        It's great.

    18. BSBrendan Schaub32:20

        (laughs)

    19. JRJoe Rogan32:21

        Great shows.

    20. BSBrendan Schaub32:21

        Your dad does have a dick on him though.

    21. BCBryan Callen32:22

        Shout out to Chicago, Th- Thalia Hall. Thanks everybody for coming out. Sold out three shows.

    22. JRJoe Rogan32:26

        Yes. So when you do this now, um, is this a- a self-funded thing? Did you-

    23. BCBryan Callen32:33

        No, this is, uh, Comedy Dynamics, uh-

    24. JRJoe Rogan32:35

        So they're doing a lot of specials now, right?

    25. BCBryan Callen32:36

        Yeah, and they did a great job. I love the space. It looked amazing and-

    26. JRJoe Rogan32:39

        Who ... How many different specials have they done? Who's, uh, who's on the show?

    27. BCBryan Callen32:42

        270.

    28. JRJoe Rogan32:42

        That is incredible.

    29. BCBryan Callen32:43

        I know.

    30. BSBrendan Schaub32:44

        It's a lot.
11. 33:41 – 36:22

    Rats, nutria, and invasive-species rabbit holes

    1. JRJoe Rogan33:41

       Oh, my God. Chicago's now America's rat capital. Chicago beats out New York City, Boston, and Washington DC as America's rat capital.

    2. BSBrendan Schaub33:48

       Rats?

    3. BCBryan Callen33:48

       Okay, here's the problem with this.

    4. BSBrendan Schaub33:50

       Rats are a problem.

    5. JRJoe Rogan33:51

       They don't know how many rats are out there. They're just bullshitting.

    6. BSBrendan Schaub33:54

       I-

    7. JRJoe Rogan33:54

       They're not doing a detailed fucking analysis.

    8. BSBrendan Schaub33:56

       Dude, you don't know where they live.

    9. JRJoe Rogan33:57

       Yeah, well, how do you know how many ... How do they really know how many rats there are in New York? Are they just guessing?

    10. BCBryan Callen34:03

        I don't think so. I think they can actually ... Don't they ... Can't they tell by like ... Like, my buddy had a-

    11. It's off complaints.

    12. JRJoe Rogan34:09

        What's that?

    13. BCBryan Callen34:09

        He says off of complaints.

    14. BSBrendan Schaub34:10

        Ah, get the fuck out of here.

    15. BCBryan Callen34:12

        Get the fuck out of here. (laughs)

    16. Get the fuck out of here.

    17. JRJoe Rogan34:12

        That means Chicago's complaining more.

    18. BCBryan Callen34:15

        (laughs)

    19. BSBrendan Schaub34:16

        (laughs)

    20. JRJoe Rogan34:16

        Is Chi- Chicago known for being bitches more than Boston?

    21. BCBryan Callen34:18

        People are inside more in Boston. (laughs)

    22. You're scared of a fucking rodent? Come on, bro.

    23. BSBrendan Schaub34:23

        Who am I gonna call about a rat?

    24. JRJoe Rogan34:25

        Yeah.

    25. BSBrendan Schaub34:25

        That's why LA's not on it. They don't give a fuck.

    26. JRJoe Rogan34:27

        Dude, my- my buddy had a ... Bought a building in New York and he had to clean it out.

    27. BSBrendan Schaub34:30

        Oh.

    28. JRJoe Rogan34:30

        In the basement. Jimmy Burke told me, my buddy Steve Schucker was coming out with ... When they were killing them, they had this ... They were poisoning them. They were coming out with garbage bags, the industrial size garbage bags full of rats.

    29. BSBrendan Schaub34:44

        (groans)

    30. JRJoe Rogan34:44

        And they did it for three days, just shoom. It was thousands, tens of thousands.
12. 36:22 – 45:16

    Thailand wildlife tourism: drugged tigers vs ethical elephant rehab

    1. BSBrendan Schaub36:22

       Did you see Crazy Animals?

    2. JRJoe Rogan36:23

       (laughs)

    3. BSBrendan Schaub36:23

       I saw your Instagram joke. How are- how are the crazy-ass animals in Thailand?

    4. JRJoe Rogan36:27

       You know what the most depressing thing was? We went to one of those, uh, tiger sanctuary things.

    5. BCBryan Callen36:32

       Oh, yeah.

    6. BSBrendan Schaub36:33

       Oh, where they're on like NyQuil or some shit.

    7. JRJoe Rogan36:34

       Dude, they're drugged the fuck up for sure.

    8. BSBrendan Schaub36:37

       Yeah.

    9. JRJoe Rogan36:37

       Do you know why ... How you can tell?

    10. BSBrendan Schaub36:39

        'Cause people get in there?

    11. JRJoe Rogan36:40

        Well, first of all because the- the babies. They'll let you touch the babies first. There's like different packages so you could package the baby package or the young lion package or the giant lion package.

    12. BSBrendan Schaub36:50

        You get that VIP package?

    13. BCBryan Callen36:51

        I'll take baby. I'll take baby.

    14. JRJoe Rogan36:53

        So the babies are adorable, these little cute things, but they're super like playful and active and big. And then you get to like a little bigger and they seem to be behaving normal and they have a bunch of trainers in there with them. And then you get to the big ones, and the big ones are fucking doped out of their mind, like they just gave them a bucket of heroin.

    15. BCBryan Callen37:12

        God.

    16. JRJoe Rogan37:12

        So they're just laying there like this, like looking at you.

    17. BSBrendan Schaub37:15

        Whoa.

    18. BCBryan Callen37:15

        I believe it.

    19. JRJoe Rogan37:15

        Dude, just ... They didn't ... None of them got up.

    20. BSBrendan Schaub37:17

        That's a bummer.

    21. JRJoe Rogan37:17

        They just laid there. And people lay next to them and hug them and take pictures with them.

    22. BSBrendan Schaub37:22

        Out your goddamn mind, dude.

    23. JRJoe Rogan37:23

        But it's weird to watch.

    24. BSBrendan Schaub37:24

        You don't let your kids and wife do that.

    25. JRJoe Rogan37:26

        Fuck that.

    26. BCBryan Callen37:26

        No, me neither.

    27. BSBrendan Schaub37:26

        No, me neither.

    28. JRJoe Rogan37:27

        Fuck that.

    29. BSBrendan Schaub37:27

        Remember the lion's like, "Oh, fuck. I feel better." (growling)

    30. JRJoe Rogan37:30

        Well, the- the woman got ... We were there. We didn't know what it was until we got there. I- I got super depressed like immediately, but when we were there, the- the oldest we got to was like a nine-month cat, and that cat does not seem like it's drugged up at all. They're young.
13. 45:16 – 53:21

    Elephants in Africa: coexistence, culling debates, and trophy-hunting economics

    1. BCBryan Callen45:16

       Yeah.

    2. JRJoe Rogan45:16

       You realize, like, one of the things I was thinking, I was like, imagine if you had one of these that lived in your yard. You would have no yard.

    3. BCBryan Callen45:23

       No.

    4. JRJoe Rogan45:23

       And this is the problem that people have in Africa.

    5. BCBryan Callen45:25

       Yeah.

    6. JRJoe Rogan45:25

       Okay? The, the, I'm a giant fan-

    7. BSBrendan Schaub45:28

       (laughs) In Africa.

    8. JRJoe Rogan45:28

       ... of elephants, but if you're a poor farmer, and you live in this-

    9. BCBryan Callen45:33

       Wipe out your crop.

    10. JRJoe Rogan45:34

        Yeah. The-

    11. BCBryan Callen45:34

        12 elephants, I mean, what are you gonna do?

    12. JRJoe Rogan45:34

        ... they just come right through your crops.

    13. BCBryan Callen45:37

        Okay, bro.

    14. JRJoe Rogan45:37

        You can't do anything about it. You're starving. You have children.

    15. BSBrendan Schaub45:39

        I know.

    16. JRJoe Rogan45:40

        Imagine you.

    17. BSBrendan Schaub45:40

        I know.

    18. JRJoe Rogan45:40

        You have your, your little boy.

    19. BSBrendan Schaub45:42

        Yeah.

    20. JRJoe Rogan45:42

        And your little boy's gonna go hungry now 'cause these elephants just wanna eat whatever the fuck... They don't understand that you grew this.

    21. BSBrendan Schaub45:46

        They're killing the elephant. We're going elephant hunting.

    22. JRJoe Rogan45:48

        Well-

    23. BSBrendan Schaub45:49

        I love an elephant.

    24. JRJoe Rogan45:50

        ... this is, well, this is the argument-

    25. BSBrendan Schaub45:51

        I love my little one.

    26. JRJoe Rogan45:51

        ... for controlling some of the popu... See, 'cause we always think, we, we say, "Oh, elephants are endangered." Well, they definitely are in some places, but in other places, in certain areas-

    27. BCBryan Callen46:01

        They have to cull 'em.

    28. JRJoe Rogan46:01

        ... they have large populations. You gotta realize how big Africa is.

    29. BCBryan Callen46:04

        Mm-hmm.

    30. JRJoe Rogan46:05

        I mean, if you ever see, like, the map where they take America-
14. 53:21 – 1:19:50

    From Africa to politics: crowd culture, immigration tragedy, and civility in the Trump era

    1. JRJoe Rogan53:21

       Yo, here's the thing about China.

    2. BCBryan Callen53:22

       Because we did-

    3. JRJoe Rogan53:22

       We had to stop in in China. They have a different sense of personal space, like as far as like getting in between you in a line.

    4. BCBryan Callen53:30

       Oh, they don't give a fuck.

    5. JRJoe Rogan53:31

       You walking through a thing and then there's like a merging thing. There's no merging, son. They're gonna go right into your-

    6. BCBryan Callen53:36

       Yeah.

    7. JRJoe Rogan53:36

       ... kids, right into you, your wife, like whoever.

    8. BCBryan Callen53:38

       That's why they drive like that.

    9. JRJoe Rogan53:39

       Dude, it is-

    10. BCBryan Callen53:40

        It's fucking crazy.

    11. BSBrendan Schaub53:41

        He has to recognize racism.

    12. JRJoe Rogan53:41

        But they're not, they're not rude. It's just a different way of-

    13. BCBryan Callen53:45

        Because there's so many people.

    14. JRJoe Rogan53:45

        Exactly.

    15. BCBryan Callen53:46

        They have to figure it out.

    16. JRJoe Rogan53:47

        Exactly. And-

    17. BCBryan Callen53:47

        There's a billion million people.

    18. JRJoe Rogan53:49

        They're not, they're not, uh, impolite people but they get misconstrued as being impolite 'cause we're not used to that, navigating that kind of numbers like they are.

    19. BSBrendan Schaub53:56

        Right.

    20. JRJoe Rogan53:56

        It's crazy to see though, man. Watch 'em, even if you're just watching them do it with other people, just walk right in front of people and smush into each other if-

    21. BCBryan Callen54:03

        If you, if you do that here though-

    22. JRJoe Rogan54:04

        (laughs)

    23. BCBryan Callen54:04

        ... you'd be like, "What the fuck, man?"

    24. JRJoe Rogan54:06

        People are gonna get mad at you.

    25. BSBrendan Schaub54:06

        Yeah.

    26. BCBryan Callen54:06

        Well, 'cause I, when I went to Australia a lot of, uh, Chinese and Japanese and Koreans were on holiday in Australia and I was with Chen who's Korean, my producer, and they kept, they were super... We'd be in line, they'd bump into me or something and I'm like, "Dude, what the fuck?" And he's like, "No, no, no, no, no, they're not being disrespectful." It's literally just how, that's how they, that's how they grew up. They just got used to-

    27. JRJoe Rogan54:25

        They had to figure it out.

    28. BCBryan Callen54:26

        ... the stupid numbers of people where you get used to people bumping into each other. They don't move outta your way. India's a little bit similar. There's none of that shit.

    29. BSBrendan Schaub54:33

        Mm-hmm.

    30. BCBryan Callen54:33

        Yeah, India's kind of similar where people- They don't blink with blinkers. Yeah. ... are stacked behind you really closely.

Episode duration: 2:42:04