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The Joe Rogan ExperienceThe Joe Rogan Experience

JRE MMA Show #56 with Brendan Schaub

Joe is joined by Brendan Schaub to discuss some upcoming fights.

Brendan SchaubguestJoe Roganhost
Jan 17, 20191h 58mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

  1. 0:003:13

    Are our phones listening? Targeted ads, coincidences, and key-word tracking

    1. BS

      ... phone calls. I got nothing to hide.

    2. JR

      Yee-haw. And we're live, ladies and gentlemen. So I get a message-

    3. BS

      Oh, shit. Just like that?

    4. NA

      << Just like that, bitches. >>

    5. JR

      I get a message, uh, from a friend of mine who says that while he was, uh, listening to the show, we were talking about something and then the ads for that thing started showing up. Yeah. Oh, God. It's, uh, it's Fong from, uh, Plastisel. He says, "You guys were talking about slouching with Theo Von today, and this popped up on his feed just now. I never Googled it before." And it's some fucking alarm that goes off, like, when you slouch forward. Have you seen those things? They glue them on you.

    6. NA

      I- I've been getting an ad for that too.

    7. JR

      Oh, you have?

    8. NA

      Yeah.

    9. BS

      So maybe it was random?

    10. JR

      So it might be a coincidence?

    11. NA

      It could be that or they could be targeting Joe Rogan listeners.

    12. BS

      Yeah, which is what they do.

    13. NA

      Yeah.

    14. JR

      Yeah.

    15. BS

      It's the way it works.

    16. JR

      Uh, so they found out that we were listening?

    17. NA

      No, they could just be going... I mean, maybe that, but, like, there's a large audience here, so they could just be going after, like-

    18. JR

      Right.

    19. NA

      That-

    20. JR

      But do you think, like, what Adam Guerci said the other day-

    21. NA

      Yeah. Oh, that's happening, yeah.

    22. JR

      ... that, uh, talking about... He was talking about Toyota trucks-

    23. BS

      Yeah.

    24. JR

      ... and then all of a sudden his Google ads started showing up Toyota Tacomas. And he, and he was like, "Dude," he goes, "They're listening. The robots are listening."

    25. BS

      Someone's listening, but they're also looking for, like, key terms and stuff like that.

    26. JR

      But they're listening to your phone as you're having a conversation.

    27. BS

      You think?

    28. JR

      Yes.

    29. NA

      I, I have a few instances. I took screenshots 'cause I was, it was happen, it happened three s- three consecutive weeks. I touched something. I literally, like, held the object in my hand. And within 12 hours I was getting an ad for it.

    30. JR

      Maybe you're magic, bro.

  2. 3:138:55

    Manual vs automatic: why performance cars are ditching stick shifts

    1. JR

      Speaking of spending some money, Ford, why do you hate America? They released a new GT 500, only in automatic.

    2. BS

      Oh my God, what a shame.

    3. JR

      What a shame.

    4. BS

      Is it only automatic?

    5. JR

      Only automatic.

    6. BS

      I didn't know that and I posted on my story 'cause some dude was like, "Schaub, when you get one of these..." And I was like, "God, that thing is dope." And I posted with, like, a thinking face. Now that it's automatic, ain't happening.

    7. JR

      (sighs)

    8. BS

      People go, "Well, you have a PDK GT3 RS." It's different. It's different.

    9. JR

      Well, it's also, that's the only way they make it.

    10. BS

      Well, you can-

    11. JR

      It's the only way they make the GT3 RS.

    12. BS

      The RS, yeah.

    13. JR

      Yeah.

    14. BS

      I mean, you could get a GT3 or an R or...

    15. JR

      I, you know, I get it. People don't want to shift, they get stuck in traffic. I get it. But there's a lot of other cars you can get. The GT 500, it, the whole... It used to only be stick, like the GT 350.

    16. BS

      Well, you know why they're doing it? 'Cause they wanna compete with everyone on... 'Cause on the track-

    17. JR

      Yeah.

    18. BS

      ... the PDKs beat the best racers in the world.

    19. JR

      Yep.

    20. BS

      Like, uh, my brother was telling me about this, uh, article he was reading where I th- I think it was the, the new GT3 RS and, um, or maybe it was the, it was the new GT3 'cause there's one in PDK, there's one in stick.

    21. JR

      Yeah.

    22. BS

      They had one of the best race car drivers in the world driving the stick shift then they had some average dumbass driving the PDK, and they were going around the track in the PDK smoked this dude.

    23. JR

      Really?

    24. BS

      The guy with the stick shift smoked him.

    25. JR

      Yeah, but what are you trying to do? If you're just trying to buy a car for the track, I get it. But how many people are buying a car for the track?

    26. BS

      You're looking at them, bro. I race on the track. No, I don't.

    27. JR

      (laughs)

    28. BS

      I have no idea. I don't give a shit.

    29. NA

      (laughs)

    30. BS

      I, I just like the feeling. Um, and it's, it's kinda lame 'cause I have that Slingshot, the Polar Slingshot, and that's stick shift and that's, like, a tricky stick shift.

  3. 8:5515:19

    Too fast for the streets: supercars, Teslas, and the future of acceleration

    1. JR

      It's so, uh, irresponsible to even be able to sell these cars. Like, when they're selling these Corvettes, these new Corvette ZR1s with 757 horsepower, they, they have a sub three second zero to 60. It's like 2.6 seconds.

    2. BS

      There needs to be, like, an IQ test for that thing.

    3. JR

      Yeah.

    4. BS

      Not even a driving test. Like, what? Do you believe in flat Earth?

    5. JR

      (laughs)

    6. BS

      You know what I'm saying? Like...

    7. JR

      (laughs)

    8. BS

      What, what about that fucking-

    9. JR

      What do you think of Pizzagate? (laughs)

    10. BS

      (laughs)

    11. JR

      That new Tesla Roadster is gonna be zero to 60 in under two seconds.

    12. BS

      That's trouble, 'cause every moron that doesn't own a car is getting a Tesla-

    13. JR

      Yeah.

    14. BS

      ... 'cause it's, like, the new Prius, it's a cool thing to do. And so they get those things.

    15. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    16. BS

      And they're fucking lightning rods.

    17. JR

      Lightning rods.

    18. BS

      I, I can't, I just... I know I'm super old school. I can't fucks with them. I don't like them. I get in Calan's, it bums me out.

    19. JR

      Does it?

    20. BS

      It's just not for me, man. I just, I don't... I, I like the sound of an engine. I like... I don't know. I don't like-

    21. JR

      Yeah.

    22. BS

      You feel like you're driving an iPod. I don't care how fucking fast it goes. It's just, it does nothing for me.

    23. JR

      Calan goes back and forth from complaining about it to telling you how you should get one.

    24. BS

      Oh, I know. It's very strange.

    25. JR

      (laughs)

    26. BS

      It depends what day you catch him. It depends which day it is.

    27. JR

      It's like he's trying to talk you into it. It's like he... So he doesn't feel alone out there.

    28. BS

      He's like, "I love that thing. I fucking love that thing." The next day he's like, "Ah, I don't... Dude, I don't... That thing, the charge, I just don't know, man."

    29. JR

      Well, the-

    30. BS

      He goes, "Should I get a Porsche? Should I, should I be like you and Joe? Should I get a Porsche?" I'm like...

  4. 15:1918:12

    Oil money, EVs, and climate uncertainty: where the real impact comes from

    1. JR

      I know it is that oil money. Starts burning a hole in your pocket. A lot of those guys up there in Alberta, they get those jobs, which are tough fucking jobs.

    2. BS

      The oil rigs?

    3. JR

      Oh my God. Hard work.

    4. BS

      Yeah.

    5. JR

      Hard work, but big money. Um, my friend John Rivet and, uh, J- his wife Jen, their, their son was, uh, doing it for a while.

    6. BS

      Kind of a bad business to be in though, right?

    7. JR

      S-

    8. BS

      'Cause oil's kind of on the way out, right?

    9. JR

      Uh, not up there, I mean, there's jobs.

    10. BS

      I think, I think it's d- I think it's down though.

    11. JR

      I don't know what's happening.

    12. BS

      I know, I know it's down because the economy there, uh, one of the drivers was telling me, he's like, "Yeah, oil's just not what it's... You know, it's a fraction of the price than what it was a year ago, two, two years ago."

    13. JR

      Oh, really?

    14. BS

      He's like, "So we're taking hits from it."

    15. JR

      Can you imagine if that was, like, your business, and your business could just fluctuate that hard, like all of a sudden-

    16. BS

      Going up and down.

    17. JR

      Yeah. It's just useless.

    18. BS

      Well, 'cause eventually it's gonna be useless. Probably not in our lifetime.

    19. JR

      Well, not with assholes like us that don't wanna drive electric cars.

    20. BS

      I know. I think about that all the time. I think about it with my son. I'm like, "God, I hope this little prick isn't just driving Teslas everywhere."

    21. JR

      (laughs)

    22. BS

      Like, I want to educate him on dope ass rides. But then it's fucking up the planet, but also is it?

    23. JR

      It is.

    24. BS

      You think?

    25. JR

      Yeah, for sure. Yeah, 'cause-

    26. BS

      So then we should be in electric cars.

    27. JR

      It's having an effect.

    28. BS

      Yeah.

    29. JR

      But, you, the question is, how much of an effect? How, what is having the most effect? There's a lot of different things that are having an effect.

    30. BS

      And what's our footprint in that effect? You know what I'm saying?

  5. 18:1224:17

    Wildfire reality check: smoke, destroyed towns, and rebuilding in high-risk zones

    1. BS

      Dude, you don't realize how important the air quality is till ... When those fires, I was doing shows in Sacramento?

    2. JR

      Oh, yeah, yeah.

    3. BS

      I didn't even think of it. I d- p- and fans were, uh, DMing me going, "Dude, are you gonna cancel? Please don't cancel." I'm like, "Why the fuck would I cancel?" No, I d- I don't cancel shows. "I'll see you soon, man." Then I fly in and I was like, "Oh, shit." You couldn't see a foot in front of your face.

    4. JR

      Well, you sent me a-

    5. BS

      All smoke.

    6. JR

      ... you sent me a picture from your hotel room and I was like, "Is there a fire in your room?"

    7. BS

      Dude, I've never seen anything like it and I did not feel good. I was sick the whole time there.

    8. JR

      Yeah.

    9. BS

      Doing my shows, I was lightheaded. Everyone had masks on like Asians at airports, everybody, except for me and my brother. And guess what? We couldn't get any masks 'cause they were all sold out.

    10. JR

      Did they help?

    11. BS

      Yeah.

    12. JR

      The masks help?

    13. BS

      I think so. They filter some of it, but y- I didn't realize how big of a deal it was till I went up there and I'm like, "Holy shit, man. This is, this is serious."

    14. JR

      Those fires were so big. I mean, the fires down here were big but nothing compared to the Northern California fires, 'cause-

    15. BS

      Oh.

    16. JR

      ... well, the area of Northern California that got lit up was like woods. Like huge, huge wooded areas.

    17. BS

      I mean, a whole town was just ... It's not there anymore.

    18. JR

      Yeah.

    19. BS

      Was it Paradise?

    20. JR

      Yeah.

    21. BS

      Done. Game over.

    22. JR

      There's no, no town left?

    23. BS

      Not there anymore. Nothing.

    24. JR

      Really?

    25. BS

      N- nothing.

    26. JR

      Nothing's there?

    27. BS

      Nothing. The whole town burned down, pretty sure.

    28. JR

      Go to that. Pull up paradisecalifornia.com (laughs) . Is that a, is that a place?

    29. BS

      That might-

    30. JR

      I wanna see what it looks like.

  6. 24:1730:12

    Flying with Bill Burr: helicopters, fear, and how close you can get to downtown LA

    1. BS

      How good of a pilot is Burr?

    2. JR

      Terrible. We almost died three times.

    3. BS

      Jesus Christ, dude.

    4. JR

      No, he's great.

    5. BS

      Is he?

    6. JR

      Yeah, he's great. (laughs)

    7. BS

      Is he?

    8. JR

      He's really good at it. (laughs)

    9. BS

      Ha- he's been doing it for a while?

    10. JR

      Yeah. (laughs)

    11. BS

      When I saw that picture, I'm like, "Oh, fuck, man."

    12. JR

      Ah, I trust that guy 100%. If he told me that he was gonna take me up in a helicopter, he knows how to do it.

    13. BS

      Yeah.

    14. JR

      It was a good time, man. We had fun. We had a lot of laughs.

    15. BS

      Is it fun?

    16. JR

      (laughs) So much fun. You're, you're up in a helicopter with one of the greatest comedians that ever lived.

    17. BS

      Y- yeah.

    18. JR

      We're having a good fucking time. We're just howling, me and him. (laughs)

    19. BS

      He's hilarious.

    20. JR

      And we talking through headphones because it's like ... So you got a little, little fucking-

    21. BS

      Like Commando or some shit.

    22. JR

      Yeah. Hell yeah. That's sick.

    23. BS

      Little microphone in the corner.

    24. JR

      I don't know. Helicopters scare me, man.

    25. BS

      It was a good time. Yeah, I saw that. It scared the fuck out of me.

    26. JR

      It's weird how close you can get to downtown LA. Like, you're not ... There's no real restrictions. You just fly right next to the buildings. I'm like, "This is okay?"

    27. BS

      Because it's a helicopter?

    28. JR

      Yeah. Yeah. That was us right there. Yeah, we just flying around.

    29. BS

      (sighs) .

    30. JR

      I mean, we were just flying right next to these buildings. And we were the height of the buildings. And all those big buildings-

  7. 30:1235:52

    Celebrity fame in public: Chappelle, The Rock, Tebow, and phone-camera culture

    1. BS

      I don't know, but...... there's, there's certain guys at that level, right? Like he's so famous. He's a whole 'nother level. But I was thinking about it last night, Dave Ch- when Dave Chappelle walked in-

    2. JR

      Yeah.

    3. BS

      ... and it was like, you know, you're around, Burr's around, there's some of the greatest comics in the world. Then when Dave Chappelle walks in, I wonder if it's weird for him because I can feel the room, like, (sucking noise) everyone just stares at him.

    4. JR

      Yeah.

    5. BS

      And then he was in the OR and I was in there before he went on and there's, I mean, there wasn't a seat. I mean, people are in the hallways, they're just watch him do his thing, and he's just, he was up there, I don't know, an hour? Two hours? Just not really doing a set, just feeling it out. I went, "Man, that must be weird at where he's at in life that he just goes up there and it's like the, everything shuts down for him as a comic."

    6. JR

      Well, he's-

    7. BS

      Like, he's not working out, right? You know what I'm saying?

    8. JR

      Well, he's definitely working out.

    9. BS

      No, that's-

    10. JR

      That's how he works out.

    11. BS

      ... not what I mean, but it's... Correct. But it's different than if somebody else.

    12. JR

      Yeah.

    13. BS

      Like, all eyes are on him all the time nonstop.

    14. JR

      Right.

    15. BS

      So even with him working out, it's funny as fuck, you know?

    16. JR

      Well, he, he handles it remarkably well, like the way he just around people. Like, even though he's super duper ridiculous famous, he handles it like he's not.

    17. BS

      Yeah.

    18. JR

      Like he wanders through, but man when people start grabbing at him and wanting pictures and shit, it's so embarrassing.

    19. BS

      Oh.

    20. JR

      They just, they won't let him talk to people, like say if you're talking to him, they don't care if you're in, locked in a conversation about your mom's cancer. They don't care. They're just, "Yo bro, can I get a picture? Of Dave? Dave Chappelle? Dave Chappelle?"

    21. BS

      Yeah.

    22. JR

      "Maybe I could get a picture?"

    23. BS

      They freak out.

    24. JR

      "Maybe a picture?"

    25. BS

      They freak out.

    26. JR

      They just like, "This is my time to dress up my Facebook page," and they get there with that cam-

    27. BS

      For the likes.

    28. JR

      ... they move in on him like a fucking hawk, "Raawr." It's just, it's embarrassing.

    29. BS

      It's embarrassing.

    30. JR

      Like people don't respect another person having a conversation. They don't wait. Like no one sits, sits around and wait. It's like in their head if they don't grab them right now, they're never gonna get that picture, so it doesn't matter who he's talking to, they... I've seen it too, like I- I was talking to The Rock once and this dude literally slid in between us-

  8. 35:521:01:38

    Why podcasting wins: unfiltered access, control, and dealing with mistakes

    1. JR

      ... of podcasting. Podcasting is a weird thing, right? It's like what are we doing? We're just talking. You know, because what our, our, our art form is shit people already do. You know?

    2. BS

      Yeah.

    3. JR

      That's weird if you think about it.

    4. BS

      It's very weird.

    5. JR

      You know, there's no other art form where everybody does it.

    6. BS

      (laughs) Yeah, everyone does-

    7. JR

      Everybody does it. Not everybody paints.

    8. BS

      No, but when-

    9. JR

      When was the last time you painted?

    10. BS

      ... well, I paint with my son.

    11. JR

      Right. But-

    12. BS

      He likes painting.

    13. JR

      ... on your own. When was the last time you went down to Michael's-

    14. BS

      Never.

    15. JR

      ... and got a canvas? (laughs)

    16. BS

      Never 'cause I don't suck dick. (laughs) I can't-

    17. JR

      How dare you?

    18. BS

      I, I'm not, I can't paint, bro.

    19. JR

      There's a lot of painters that don't suck dick, you son of a bitch.

    20. BS

      You'd be surprised. But there are-

    21. JR

      Oh, man.

    22. BS

      ... but I'm talking about like a f- like, taking time out of my day to paint a flower.

    23. JR

      There's a lot of heterosexual male painters that admire you that are listening to this right now-

    24. BS

      Oh, I love you guys, man. Paint me something cool, bro.

    25. JR

      ... that have their paint in, their paintbrush in their hand right now, and they're like-

    26. BS

      "Fuck this guy."

    27. JR

      ... "I'm gonna paint Schaub with a big old dick in his mouth."

    28. BS

      Do it. Um, yeah. I don't know, man. W- with podcasting, it's weird, but it's also the gateway to, uh, an unfiltered medium, where before with TV and movies and stuff, like, you know, with like, uh, name any big guy, um, who's, who... I'm trying to think of a, a... Like Dax Shepard, right? He's a, he's an actor. He's an actor, and he has a podcast. Well, if you just watch his movies, you don't know shit about him.

    29. JR

      Right.

    30. BS

      He's playing a character. But you can go on his podcast, you listen to him talk, like, "Oh, fuck, we're into a lot of the same things."

  9. 1:01:381:04:33

    Schaub’s show ecosystem: King and the Sting segments, set design, and ‘Flaunt My Aunt’

    1. BS

      If I'm not busy, like, I like being stupid busy. Like, I didn't, like, you know, Theo and I have a new podcast. I didn't need to do that. I already have my show on Showtime-

    2. JR

      But yet, you did need to do that.

    3. BS

      Because I love doing it.

    4. JR

      Well-

    5. BS

      It's not for a financial thing.

    6. JR

      It works good. Like, I love Theo by himself, like his podcast by himself is really good.

    7. BS

      Brilliant.

    8. JR

      But he's, he's better with other people.

    9. BS

      Yes.

    10. JR

      'Cause it's, because other people get to respond how ridiculous he is.

    11. BS

      S- outta this world ridiculous.

    12. JR

      It's like half, half the fun is people going, "What the fuck are you talking about?" (laughs)

    13. BS

      It's some crazy shit. It's some crazy shit. Me and, you know, me and him talked about doing it f- for a long time, doing the King and the Sting a long time then we even made an announcement and then months late- like, even months later, just because, you know, he's a busy guy, I'm a busy guy and it's like, we don't need to do this.

    14. JR

      Well, are you The Sting? He's the Rat King.

    15. BS

      I'm, yeah, I'm, 'cause he called me, he says I, I look like I got stung by a bunch of bees-

    16. JR

      (laughs)

    17. BS

      ... 'cause I'm, like, swollen. And I called him, I said, "It looks like he, you know, keeps rats or something like that." So I call him the Rat King and it just stuck.

    18. JR

      (laughs)

    19. BS

      And then King and the Sting. And it's been going great, man. It's been going great. It's, it's so different than what Kallen and I do. And people are like, "Oh, Fighter and the Kid, it's coming to an end." No, it's fucking not. Come on. Fighter and the Kid's never-

    20. JR

      You can't-

    21. BS

      ... been bigger, man.

    22. JR

      You can't pay attention to those jokes.

    23. BS

      Every month it builds, builds. I don't know-

    24. JR

      Yeah.

    25. BS

      ... why, but every month just builds, builds, builds. Me and Kallen are doing great, but there's the Rat King.

    26. JR

      That's the Rat King.

    27. BS

      That's what he looks like.

    28. JR

      This is-

    29. NA

      From Ninja Turtles cartoon.

    30. JR

      Oh.

Episode duration: 1:58:13

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