EVERY SPOKEN WORD
150 min read · 30,032 words- 0:00 – 3:13
Are our phones listening? Targeted ads, coincidences, and key-word tracking
- BSBrendan Schaub
... phone calls. I got nothing to hide.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yee-haw. And we're live, ladies and gentlemen. So I get a message-
- BSBrendan Schaub
Oh, shit. Just like that?
- NANarrator
<< Just like that, bitches. >>
- JRJoe Rogan
I get a message, uh, from a friend of mine who says that while he was, uh, listening to the show, we were talking about something and then the ads for that thing started showing up. Yeah. Oh, God. It's, uh, it's Fong from, uh, Plastisel. He says, "You guys were talking about slouching with Theo Von today, and this popped up on his feed just now. I never Googled it before." And it's some fucking alarm that goes off, like, when you slouch forward. Have you seen those things? They glue them on you.
- NANarrator
I- I've been getting an ad for that too.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, you have?
- NANarrator
Yeah.
- BSBrendan Schaub
So maybe it was random?
- JRJoe Rogan
So it might be a coincidence?
- NANarrator
It could be that or they could be targeting Joe Rogan listeners.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Yeah, which is what they do.
- NANarrator
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- BSBrendan Schaub
It's the way it works.
- JRJoe Rogan
Uh, so they found out that we were listening?
- NANarrator
No, they could just be going... I mean, maybe that, but, like, there's a large audience here, so they could just be going after, like-
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- NANarrator
That-
- JRJoe Rogan
But do you think, like, what Adam Guerci said the other day-
- NANarrator
Yeah. Oh, that's happening, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... that, uh, talking about... He was talking about Toyota trucks-
- BSBrendan Schaub
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... and then all of a sudden his Google ads started showing up Toyota Tacomas. And he, and he was like, "Dude," he goes, "They're listening. The robots are listening."
- BSBrendan Schaub
Someone's listening, but they're also looking for, like, key terms and stuff like that.
- JRJoe Rogan
But they're listening to your phone as you're having a conversation.
- BSBrendan Schaub
You think?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yes.
- NANarrator
I, I have a few instances. I took screenshots 'cause I was, it was happen, it happened three s- three consecutive weeks. I touched something. I literally, like, held the object in my hand. And within 12 hours I was getting an ad for it.
- JRJoe Rogan
Maybe you're magic, bro.
- 3:13 – 8:55
Manual vs automatic: why performance cars are ditching stick shifts
- JRJoe Rogan
Speaking of spending some money, Ford, why do you hate America? They released a new GT 500, only in automatic.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Oh my God, what a shame.
- JRJoe Rogan
What a shame.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Is it only automatic?
- JRJoe Rogan
Only automatic.
- BSBrendan Schaub
I didn't know that and I posted on my story 'cause some dude was like, "Schaub, when you get one of these..." And I was like, "God, that thing is dope." And I posted with, like, a thinking face. Now that it's automatic, ain't happening.
- JRJoe Rogan
(sighs)
- BSBrendan Schaub
People go, "Well, you have a PDK GT3 RS." It's different. It's different.
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, it's also, that's the only way they make it.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Well, you can-
- JRJoe Rogan
It's the only way they make the GT3 RS.
- BSBrendan Schaub
The RS, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- BSBrendan Schaub
I mean, you could get a GT3 or an R or...
- JRJoe Rogan
I, you know, I get it. People don't want to shift, they get stuck in traffic. I get it. But there's a lot of other cars you can get. The GT 500, it, the whole... It used to only be stick, like the GT 350.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Well, you know why they're doing it? 'Cause they wanna compete with everyone on... 'Cause on the track-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- BSBrendan Schaub
... the PDKs beat the best racers in the world.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yep.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Like, uh, my brother was telling me about this, uh, article he was reading where I th- I think it was the, the new GT3 RS and, um, or maybe it was the, it was the new GT3 'cause there's one in PDK, there's one in stick.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- BSBrendan Schaub
They had one of the best race car drivers in the world driving the stick shift then they had some average dumbass driving the PDK, and they were going around the track in the PDK smoked this dude.
- JRJoe Rogan
Really?
- BSBrendan Schaub
The guy with the stick shift smoked him.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, but what are you trying to do? If you're just trying to buy a car for the track, I get it. But how many people are buying a car for the track?
- BSBrendan Schaub
You're looking at them, bro. I race on the track. No, I don't.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- BSBrendan Schaub
I have no idea. I don't give a shit.
- NANarrator
(laughs)
- BSBrendan Schaub
I, I just like the feeling. Um, and it's, it's kinda lame 'cause I have that Slingshot, the Polar Slingshot, and that's stick shift and that's, like, a tricky stick shift.
- 8:55 – 15:19
Too fast for the streets: supercars, Teslas, and the future of acceleration
- JRJoe Rogan
It's so, uh, irresponsible to even be able to sell these cars. Like, when they're selling these Corvettes, these new Corvette ZR1s with 757 horsepower, they, they have a sub three second zero to 60. It's like 2.6 seconds.
- BSBrendan Schaub
There needs to be, like, an IQ test for that thing.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Not even a driving test. Like, what? Do you believe in flat Earth?
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- BSBrendan Schaub
You know what I'm saying? Like...
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- BSBrendan Schaub
What, what about that fucking-
- JRJoe Rogan
What do you think of Pizzagate? (laughs)
- BSBrendan Schaub
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
That new Tesla Roadster is gonna be zero to 60 in under two seconds.
- BSBrendan Schaub
That's trouble, 'cause every moron that doesn't own a car is getting a Tesla-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- BSBrendan Schaub
... 'cause it's, like, the new Prius, it's a cool thing to do. And so they get those things.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm.
- BSBrendan Schaub
And they're fucking lightning rods.
- JRJoe Rogan
Lightning rods.
- BSBrendan Schaub
I, I can't, I just... I know I'm super old school. I can't fucks with them. I don't like them. I get in Calan's, it bums me out.
- JRJoe Rogan
Does it?
- BSBrendan Schaub
It's just not for me, man. I just, I don't... I, I like the sound of an engine. I like... I don't know. I don't like-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- BSBrendan Schaub
You feel like you're driving an iPod. I don't care how fucking fast it goes. It's just, it does nothing for me.
- JRJoe Rogan
Calan goes back and forth from complaining about it to telling you how you should get one.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Oh, I know. It's very strange.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- BSBrendan Schaub
It depends what day you catch him. It depends which day it is.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's like he's trying to talk you into it. It's like he... So he doesn't feel alone out there.
- BSBrendan Schaub
He's like, "I love that thing. I fucking love that thing." The next day he's like, "Ah, I don't... Dude, I don't... That thing, the charge, I just don't know, man."
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, the-
- BSBrendan Schaub
He goes, "Should I get a Porsche? Should I, should I be like you and Joe? Should I get a Porsche?" I'm like...
- 15:19 – 18:12
Oil money, EVs, and climate uncertainty: where the real impact comes from
- JRJoe Rogan
I know it is that oil money. Starts burning a hole in your pocket. A lot of those guys up there in Alberta, they get those jobs, which are tough fucking jobs.
- BSBrendan Schaub
The oil rigs?
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh my God. Hard work.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Hard work, but big money. Um, my friend John Rivet and, uh, J- his wife Jen, their, their son was, uh, doing it for a while.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Kind of a bad business to be in though, right?
- JRJoe Rogan
S-
- BSBrendan Schaub
'Cause oil's kind of on the way out, right?
- JRJoe Rogan
Uh, not up there, I mean, there's jobs.
- BSBrendan Schaub
I think, I think it's d- I think it's down though.
- JRJoe Rogan
I don't know what's happening.
- BSBrendan Schaub
I know, I know it's down because the economy there, uh, one of the drivers was telling me, he's like, "Yeah, oil's just not what it's... You know, it's a fraction of the price than what it was a year ago, two, two years ago."
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, really?
- BSBrendan Schaub
He's like, "So we're taking hits from it."
- JRJoe Rogan
Can you imagine if that was, like, your business, and your business could just fluctuate that hard, like all of a sudden-
- BSBrendan Schaub
Going up and down.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. It's just useless.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Well, 'cause eventually it's gonna be useless. Probably not in our lifetime.
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, not with assholes like us that don't wanna drive electric cars.
- BSBrendan Schaub
I know. I think about that all the time. I think about it with my son. I'm like, "God, I hope this little prick isn't just driving Teslas everywhere."
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- BSBrendan Schaub
Like, I want to educate him on dope ass rides. But then it's fucking up the planet, but also is it?
- JRJoe Rogan
It is.
- BSBrendan Schaub
You think?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, for sure. Yeah, 'cause-
- BSBrendan Schaub
So then we should be in electric cars.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's having an effect.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
But, you, the question is, how much of an effect? How, what is having the most effect? There's a lot of different things that are having an effect.
- BSBrendan Schaub
And what's our footprint in that effect? You know what I'm saying?
- 18:12 – 24:17
Wildfire reality check: smoke, destroyed towns, and rebuilding in high-risk zones
- BSBrendan Schaub
Dude, you don't realize how important the air quality is till ... When those fires, I was doing shows in Sacramento?
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah, yeah.
- BSBrendan Schaub
I didn't even think of it. I d- p- and fans were, uh, DMing me going, "Dude, are you gonna cancel? Please don't cancel." I'm like, "Why the fuck would I cancel?" No, I d- I don't cancel shows. "I'll see you soon, man." Then I fly in and I was like, "Oh, shit." You couldn't see a foot in front of your face.
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, you sent me a-
- BSBrendan Schaub
All smoke.
- JRJoe Rogan
... you sent me a picture from your hotel room and I was like, "Is there a fire in your room?"
- BSBrendan Schaub
Dude, I've never seen anything like it and I did not feel good. I was sick the whole time there.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Doing my shows, I was lightheaded. Everyone had masks on like Asians at airports, everybody, except for me and my brother. And guess what? We couldn't get any masks 'cause they were all sold out.
- JRJoe Rogan
Did they help?
- BSBrendan Schaub
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
The masks help?
- BSBrendan Schaub
I think so. They filter some of it, but y- I didn't realize how big of a deal it was till I went up there and I'm like, "Holy shit, man. This is, this is serious."
- JRJoe Rogan
Those fires were so big. I mean, the fires down here were big but nothing compared to the Northern California fires, 'cause-
- BSBrendan Schaub
Oh.
- JRJoe Rogan
... well, the area of Northern California that got lit up was like woods. Like huge, huge wooded areas.
- BSBrendan Schaub
I mean, a whole town was just ... It's not there anymore.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Was it Paradise?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Done. Game over.
- JRJoe Rogan
There's no, no town left?
- BSBrendan Schaub
Not there anymore. Nothing.
- JRJoe Rogan
Really?
- BSBrendan Schaub
N- nothing.
- JRJoe Rogan
Nothing's there?
- BSBrendan Schaub
Nothing. The whole town burned down, pretty sure.
- JRJoe Rogan
Go to that. Pull up paradisecalifornia.com (laughs) . Is that a, is that a place?
- BSBrendan Schaub
That might-
- JRJoe Rogan
I wanna see what it looks like.
- 24:17 – 30:12
Flying with Bill Burr: helicopters, fear, and how close you can get to downtown LA
- BSBrendan Schaub
How good of a pilot is Burr?
- JRJoe Rogan
Terrible. We almost died three times.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Jesus Christ, dude.
- JRJoe Rogan
No, he's great.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Is he?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, he's great. (laughs)
- BSBrendan Schaub
Is he?
- JRJoe Rogan
He's really good at it. (laughs)
- BSBrendan Schaub
Ha- he's been doing it for a while?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. (laughs)
- BSBrendan Schaub
When I saw that picture, I'm like, "Oh, fuck, man."
- JRJoe Rogan
Ah, I trust that guy 100%. If he told me that he was gonna take me up in a helicopter, he knows how to do it.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
It was a good time, man. We had fun. We had a lot of laughs.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Is it fun?
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs) So much fun. You're, you're up in a helicopter with one of the greatest comedians that ever lived.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Y- yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
We're having a good fucking time. We're just howling, me and him. (laughs)
- BSBrendan Schaub
He's hilarious.
- JRJoe Rogan
And we talking through headphones because it's like ... So you got a little, little fucking-
- BSBrendan Schaub
Like Commando or some shit.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. Hell yeah. That's sick.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Little microphone in the corner.
- JRJoe Rogan
I don't know. Helicopters scare me, man.
- BSBrendan Schaub
It was a good time. Yeah, I saw that. It scared the fuck out of me.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's weird how close you can get to downtown LA. Like, you're not ... There's no real restrictions. You just fly right next to the buildings. I'm like, "This is okay?"
- BSBrendan Schaub
Because it's a helicopter?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. Yeah. That was us right there. Yeah, we just flying around.
- BSBrendan Schaub
(sighs) .
- JRJoe Rogan
I mean, we were just flying right next to these buildings. And we were the height of the buildings. And all those big buildings-
- 30:12 – 35:52
Celebrity fame in public: Chappelle, The Rock, Tebow, and phone-camera culture
- BSBrendan Schaub
I don't know, but...... there's, there's certain guys at that level, right? Like he's so famous. He's a whole 'nother level. But I was thinking about it last night, Dave Ch- when Dave Chappelle walked in-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- BSBrendan Schaub
... and it was like, you know, you're around, Burr's around, there's some of the greatest comics in the world. Then when Dave Chappelle walks in, I wonder if it's weird for him because I can feel the room, like, (sucking noise) everyone just stares at him.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- BSBrendan Schaub
And then he was in the OR and I was in there before he went on and there's, I mean, there wasn't a seat. I mean, people are in the hallways, they're just watch him do his thing, and he's just, he was up there, I don't know, an hour? Two hours? Just not really doing a set, just feeling it out. I went, "Man, that must be weird at where he's at in life that he just goes up there and it's like the, everything shuts down for him as a comic."
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, he's-
- BSBrendan Schaub
Like, he's not working out, right? You know what I'm saying?
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, he's definitely working out.
- BSBrendan Schaub
No, that's-
- JRJoe Rogan
That's how he works out.
- BSBrendan Schaub
... not what I mean, but it's... Correct. But it's different than if somebody else.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Like, all eyes are on him all the time nonstop.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- BSBrendan Schaub
So even with him working out, it's funny as fuck, you know?
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, he, he handles it remarkably well, like the way he just around people. Like, even though he's super duper ridiculous famous, he handles it like he's not.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like he wanders through, but man when people start grabbing at him and wanting pictures and shit, it's so embarrassing.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Oh.
- JRJoe Rogan
They just, they won't let him talk to people, like say if you're talking to him, they don't care if you're in, locked in a conversation about your mom's cancer. They don't care. They're just, "Yo bro, can I get a picture? Of Dave? Dave Chappelle? Dave Chappelle?"
- BSBrendan Schaub
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
"Maybe I could get a picture?"
- BSBrendan Schaub
They freak out.
- JRJoe Rogan
"Maybe a picture?"
- BSBrendan Schaub
They freak out.
- JRJoe Rogan
They just like, "This is my time to dress up my Facebook page," and they get there with that cam-
- BSBrendan Schaub
For the likes.
- JRJoe Rogan
... they move in on him like a fucking hawk, "Raawr." It's just, it's embarrassing.
- BSBrendan Schaub
It's embarrassing.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like people don't respect another person having a conversation. They don't wait. Like no one sits, sits around and wait. It's like in their head if they don't grab them right now, they're never gonna get that picture, so it doesn't matter who he's talking to, they... I've seen it too, like I- I was talking to The Rock once and this dude literally slid in between us-
- 35:52 – 1:01:38
Why podcasting wins: unfiltered access, control, and dealing with mistakes
- JRJoe Rogan
... of podcasting. Podcasting is a weird thing, right? It's like what are we doing? We're just talking. You know, because what our, our, our art form is shit people already do. You know?
- BSBrendan Schaub
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
That's weird if you think about it.
- BSBrendan Schaub
It's very weird.
- JRJoe Rogan
You know, there's no other art form where everybody does it.
- BSBrendan Schaub
(laughs) Yeah, everyone does-
- JRJoe Rogan
Everybody does it. Not everybody paints.
- BSBrendan Schaub
No, but when-
- JRJoe Rogan
When was the last time you painted?
- BSBrendan Schaub
... well, I paint with my son.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right. But-
- BSBrendan Schaub
He likes painting.
- JRJoe Rogan
... on your own. When was the last time you went down to Michael's-
- BSBrendan Schaub
Never.
- JRJoe Rogan
... and got a canvas? (laughs)
- BSBrendan Schaub
Never 'cause I don't suck dick. (laughs) I can't-
- JRJoe Rogan
How dare you?
- BSBrendan Schaub
I, I'm not, I can't paint, bro.
- JRJoe Rogan
There's a lot of painters that don't suck dick, you son of a bitch.
- BSBrendan Schaub
You'd be surprised. But there are-
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, man.
- BSBrendan Schaub
... but I'm talking about like a f- like, taking time out of my day to paint a flower.
- JRJoe Rogan
There's a lot of heterosexual male painters that admire you that are listening to this right now-
- BSBrendan Schaub
Oh, I love you guys, man. Paint me something cool, bro.
- JRJoe Rogan
... that have their paint in, their paintbrush in their hand right now, and they're like-
- BSBrendan Schaub
"Fuck this guy."
- JRJoe Rogan
... "I'm gonna paint Schaub with a big old dick in his mouth."
- BSBrendan Schaub
Do it. Um, yeah. I don't know, man. W- with podcasting, it's weird, but it's also the gateway to, uh, an unfiltered medium, where before with TV and movies and stuff, like, you know, with like, uh, name any big guy, um, who's, who... I'm trying to think of a, a... Like Dax Shepard, right? He's a, he's an actor. He's an actor, and he has a podcast. Well, if you just watch his movies, you don't know shit about him.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- BSBrendan Schaub
He's playing a character. But you can go on his podcast, you listen to him talk, like, "Oh, fuck, we're into a lot of the same things."
- 1:01:38 – 1:04:33
Schaub’s show ecosystem: King and the Sting segments, set design, and ‘Flaunt My Aunt’
- BSBrendan Schaub
If I'm not busy, like, I like being stupid busy. Like, I didn't, like, you know, Theo and I have a new podcast. I didn't need to do that. I already have my show on Showtime-
- JRJoe Rogan
But yet, you did need to do that.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Because I love doing it.
- JRJoe Rogan
Well-
- BSBrendan Schaub
It's not for a financial thing.
- JRJoe Rogan
It works good. Like, I love Theo by himself, like his podcast by himself is really good.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Brilliant.
- JRJoe Rogan
But he's, he's better with other people.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Yes.
- JRJoe Rogan
'Cause it's, because other people get to respond how ridiculous he is.
- BSBrendan Schaub
S- outta this world ridiculous.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's like half, half the fun is people going, "What the fuck are you talking about?" (laughs)
- BSBrendan Schaub
It's some crazy shit. It's some crazy shit. Me and, you know, me and him talked about doing it f- for a long time, doing the King and the Sting a long time then we even made an announcement and then months late- like, even months later, just because, you know, he's a busy guy, I'm a busy guy and it's like, we don't need to do this.
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, are you The Sting? He's the Rat King.
- BSBrendan Schaub
I'm, yeah, I'm, 'cause he called me, he says I, I look like I got stung by a bunch of bees-
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- BSBrendan Schaub
... 'cause I'm, like, swollen. And I called him, I said, "It looks like he, you know, keeps rats or something like that." So I call him the Rat King and it just stuck.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- BSBrendan Schaub
And then King and the Sting. And it's been going great, man. It's been going great. It's, it's so different than what Kallen and I do. And people are like, "Oh, Fighter and the Kid, it's coming to an end." No, it's fucking not. Come on. Fighter and the Kid's never-
- JRJoe Rogan
You can't-
- BSBrendan Schaub
... been bigger, man.
- JRJoe Rogan
You can't pay attention to those jokes.
- BSBrendan Schaub
Every month it builds, builds. I don't know-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- BSBrendan Schaub
... why, but every month just builds, builds, builds. Me and Kallen are doing great, but there's the Rat King.
- JRJoe Rogan
That's the Rat King.
- BSBrendan Schaub
That's what he looks like.
- JRJoe Rogan
This is-
- NANarrator
From Ninja Turtles cartoon.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh.
Episode duration: 1:58:13
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Transcript of episode HvNJaZuzDDE
