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Radical Candor: From theory to practice with author Kim Scott

Kim Scott is the author of Radical Candor, currently the #1 most recommended book on this podcast. The book has sold over 1 million copies and has been translated into 23 languages. Before writing, Kim was a CEO coach at Dropbox, Qualtrics, Twitter, and other tech companies. She was also a member of the faculty at Apple University and before that led AdSense, YouTube, and DoubleClick teams at Google. This spring she’ll be launching Radical Respect, which she considers to be a prequel to Radical Candor. In today’s conversation, we go deep on Kim’s popular framework, including: • What separates radical candor and obnoxious aggression • Tactical advice on delivering constructive feedback • How well-meaning empathy can become ruinous • Strategies for effectively soliciting and responding to feedback • The importance of having regular career conversations • The false dichotomy of a good leader versus a kind person • A sneak peek into Radical Respect — Brought to you by Jira Product Discovery—Atlassian’s new prioritization and roadmapping tool built for product teams: https://atlassian.com/lenny/?utm_source=lennypodcast&utm_medium=paid-audio&utm_campaign=fy24q1-jpd-imc Find the transcript and references at: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/radical-candor-from-theory-to-practice Where to find Kim Scott: • X: https://twitter.com/kimballscott • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimm4/ • Website: https://www.radicalcandor.com/ Where to find Lenny: • Newsletter: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com • X: https://twitter.com/lennysan • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lennyrachitsky/ In this episode, we cover: (00:00) Kim’s background (03:13) A brief overview of Radical Candor (06:46) How people fail with ruinous empathy, manipulative insincerity, and obnoxious aggression (08:37) The impact of radical candor on Kim’s life (14:16) How to communicate feedback effectively (20:34) A story illustrating the problem with ruinous empathy and manipulative insincerity (27:50) How to get over the need to be liked (31:31) How to have career conversations with your direct reports (29:40) Reflections on how Kim handled an underperforming employee (33:31) Best practices for soliciting feedback as a leader (35:53) How to respond to feedback (39:22) How often to ask for feedback (41:48) Whether or not to accept “no feedback” as an answer (50:48) Investing time in feedback (54:04) How to ask for feedback as an employee (57:42) Why obnoxious aggression is not the best way to deliver feedback (1:01:23) A notable example of problematic management  (1:03:43) Why context matters when diagnosing obnoxious aggression  (1:07:39) Empathy is a good thing, but empathy can paralyze (1:10:47) Reflections on the limitations of radical candor in a society riddled with biases  (1:14:41) Kim’s new book, Radical Respect (1:15:51) Tactical advice to get better at radical candor (1:16:46) Lightning round Referenced: • Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity: https://www.amazon.com/Radical-Candor-Kick-Ass-Without-Humanity/dp/1250103509 • Radical Respect: How to Work Together Better: https://www.amazon.com/Radical-Respect-Work-Together-Better/dp/1250623766/ • The Office (American version) on Peacock: https://www.peacocktv.com/stream-tv/the-office • Radical Candor diagram: https://www.radicalcandor.com/our-approach/ • Career conversation templates: https://review.firstround.com/the-power-of-performance-reviews-use-this-system-to-become-a-better-manager/ • A behavioral scientist explains why we should reacquaint ourselves with the telephone: https://news.uchicago.edu/story/nicholas-epley-explains-why-phone-calls-can-connect-us-better-zoom • How to get promoted: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/how-to-get-promoted • When They Win, You Win: Being a Great Manager Is Simpler Than You Think: https://www.amazon.com/When-They-Win-You-Manager/dp/1250279666 • Peter Kazanjy on X: https://twitter.com/Kazanjy • Christa Quarles on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/christaquarles/ • Jason Rosoff on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jason-r-rosoff/ • Andrew Grove: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Grove • Columbo on Prime Video: https://www.amazon.com/Columbo-Season-1/dp/B008SA89HA • Squid Game on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81040344 • Leveraging mentors to uplevel your career | Jules Walter (YouTube, Slack): https://www.lennyspodcast.com/leveraging-mentors-to-uplevel-your-career-jules-walter-youtube-slack/ ...References continued at: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/radical-candor-from-theory-to-practice Production and marketing by https://penname.co/. For inquiries about sponsoring the podcast, email podcast@lennyrachitsky.com. Lenny may be an investor in the companies discussed.

Kim ScottguestLenny Rachitskyhost
Dec 9, 20231h 26mWatch on YouTube ↗

At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Kim Scott Turns Radical Candor From Abstract Framework Into Daily Practice

  1. Kim Scott joins Lenny to break down Radical Candor as the practice of simultaneously caring personally and challenging directly, contrasted against obnoxious aggression, ruinous empathy, and manipulative insincerity.
  2. Through vivid stories (the “um” speech-coach moment, the firing of “Bob,” and a Manhattan dog-walker) she illustrates why most people default to ruinous empathy, how this harms performance and relationships, and how to course-correct.
  3. She offers concrete, repeatable tactics to give and solicit feedback: how to phrase requests, when and where to do it, how to read emotional signals, and how to build a culture that supports candid conversations.
  4. Scott also previews her new book, Radical Respect, arguing that without a foundation of respect and awareness of bias, prejudice, and bullying, Radical Candor cannot work as intended.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Most feedback failures come from ruinous empathy, not harshness.

Roughly 90% of people’s mistakes land in the “care but don’t challenge” quadrant—avoiding hard truths to spare feelings—which ultimately harms the person, the team, and top performers who have to compensate.

Anchor feedback in behavior, not personality, using simple structure.

Use CORRRE (Context, Observation, Result, Next step) for both praise and criticism—e.g., “In the meeting (context), when you interrupted twice (observation), it reduced others’ engagement (result); next time, hold questions to the end (next step).”

Solicit criticism first and make it a weekly ritual.

As a manager, reserve ~5 minutes at the end of every 1:1 to ask your own authentic version of a go-to question like, “What could I do or stop doing to make it easier to work with me?” and don’t accept a permanent “no feedback” answer.

Silence after asking for feedback is a tool, not a bug.

When you ask for feedback, embrace discomfort by pausing for up to six seconds; the silence nudges people to actually answer instead of reflexively saying, “Everything’s fine.”

You must reward feedback or you’ll never get it again.

If you agree, fix the issue and make the change visible; if you disagree, acknowledge the 5–10% you do agree with, explain your reasoning respectfully, and always close the loop so people see that speaking up matters.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

Radical candor is what happens when you care personally and challenge directly at the same time.

Kim Scott

It’s not mean, it’s clear.

Kim Scott (quoting a stranger on a Manhattan street)

By not telling Bob, thinking I was being so nice, I’m having to fire him as a result. Not so nice after all.

Kim Scott

You do not have to choose between being successful and being a jerk. You can be a successful, kind person.

Kim Scott

If you say, ‘Do you have any feedback for me?’ you’re wasting your breath.

Kim Scott

The Radical Candor framework: care personally × challenge directlyCommon failure modes: ruinous empathy, obnoxious aggression, manipulative insincerityTactical techniques for giving clear, behavior-focused praise and criticismSpecific methods to solicit feedback from reports, peers, and bossesOvercoming people-pleasing and fear of being disliked as a leaderShifting team and company cultures toward candid, respectful feedbackFoundations of Radical Respect: bias, prejudice, bullying, and being an upstander

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