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Lewis HowesEckhart Tolle 3 Deadly Habits That DESTROY The LAW of ATTRACTION In Your Life
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Chapter summaries
Why We Suffer: The Stories in Our Minds
Lewis Howes asks how to overcome stress, suffering and anxiety. Eckhart Tolle says psychological suffering comes from the stories we tell ourselves about situations, not from the situations themselves, and he offers a practice for a frustrating moment like waiting in line.
- •Most people locate the source of their troubles outside themselves
- •Psychological suffering is different from physical discomfort
- •Practice: ask how you would experience a moment without adding interpretation or thought
- •Epictetus noted that suffering comes from what the mind says about a situation
- •Spiritual awakening begins with noticing what your mind is saying
Identity, Awareness and Who You Are Beyond the Mind
Tolle describes how a heavy sense of self is built from the story of one's life. When you notice that story, awareness or presence arises, and your identity shifts from form identity to essence identity.
- •A painful life story becomes the mind-made sense of self
- •Awareness is the ability to know what your mind is doing
- •Form identity includes the body image and psychological conditioning
- •Essence identity is consciousness itself
- •Gaps between thoughts give a glimpse of who you are without the story
Why the Ego Clings to Pain and the Purpose of Awakening
Howes asks why people hold on to painful identities for decades. Tolle explains that ego is complete identification with the mind, deeply ingrained in everyone, and that some people need enormous suffering to let go. He frames our deeper purpose as evolving consciousness.
- •Ego means complete identification with your mind and its mental-emotional makeup
- •The dysfunction is inherited and deeply conditioned
- •Some people only let go when the story becomes unbearable
- •Stress can make the body ill
- •Our deeper purpose is to evolve as a conscious being beyond ego
The Present Moment as the Entry Point to Inner Peace
Asked how to find inner peace, Tolle names the present moment as the portal to presence. The egoic mind ignores it in favor of past and future, yet all of life unfolds now, and the future never arrives as such.
- •The present moment is the portal into presence and awareness
- •The egoic mind prefers imagined past and future moments
- •Past and future are only ever experienced in the now
- •The 'free beer tomorrow' pub sign illustrates that tomorrow never comes
- •A dysfunctional relationship with the present makes the whole life dysfunctional
Life Situation vs. Life: Problems Live in the Mind
Howes asks how to enjoy the present when debt, illness or divorce are real. Tolle distinguishes your life situation, which exists in time, from your life, which is now. He says a problem is a mental burden that cannot survive in the present moment, and he describes positive surrender.
- •Life situation exists in time while life is now
- •Ask what problem you have in this exact moment
- •Challenges get dealt with, whereas problems live in the mind
- •Prisoners have written that they realized they have no problem
- •Positive surrender is an uncompromising yes to what is
Making the Present Your Friend and Facing Obstacles with Presence
Tolle explains that the ego makes the present moment an enemy, while the so-called future reflects your state of consciousness now. He applies this to obstacles in creative endeavors, where acting from acceptance lets right action arise, and compares ego to the moon's reflected light.
- •The ego loves to argue with what is and to have enemies
- •The future reflects your present state of consciousness
- •Obstacles met with resistance build stress and negativity
- •From presence, right action often arises spontaneously
- •Ego has no power of its own, like the moon's reflected light
Law of Attraction: Abundance, Appreciation and Giving
Howes asks for Tolle's view of the law of attraction and the habits that hurt people. Tolle names coming from neediness and focusing on lack as the main mistake. He recommends appreciating abundance already around you and giving kindness genuinely rather than out of obligation.
- •Needy focus on undesirable conditions undermines attraction
- •Look for the abundance already here, in nature, in the city and in the aliveness of the body
- •Appreciation or gratitude, such as Oprah's journal of small things
- •Give energy and kindness genuinely, not from obligation
- •What you give comes back in another form
Manifesting from Fullness and Letting Go of Outcomes
Tolle cites Jesus's instruction to believe you already have what you pray for, and says the power of manifestation lies in the feeling of fullness rather than the mental image. Howes and Tolle discuss how unmet dreams can be replaced by something better, with Howes sharing how his football injury led to his current work.
- •Believe that you already have it, not that you will have it
- •The feeling of fullness is the same whatever the desired form
- •Manifest from fullness, not from lack
- •Not every desire manifests, and something better may appear instead
- •Without excessive attachment, fullness remains even if what you built is lost
Cars, Attachment and Consciousness in Objects
Tolle and Howes trade stories about beloved cheap cars and a bicycle. Tolle says loving things without egoic identification means he could let them go, and he senses a glimmer of consciousness in everything.
- •Tolle loved his bicycle and a cheap Lada
- •He senses a glimmer of consciousness even in inanimate objects
- •Howes says his $4,000 car took care of him as he took care of it
- •Appreciation differs from egoic identification with possessions
- •Everything eventually leaves you, or you leave it
Ego-Driven Desires and Why Achievement Never Satisfies
Tolle adds that wanting things for ego, to feel superior, weakens your power and leaves you needy even after you get them. He says the ego is a sense of lack, so even very wealthy people can remain unhappy.
- •The ego manifests to feel more powerful and superior
- •Getting what the ego wants does not make you happy
- •The ego always feels not enough
- •Having everything removes the excuse of 'when I get this I'll be happy'
- •One can be unhappy from not getting what you want or from getting it
The Vertical and Horizontal Dimensions of Life
Asked how to be happy while pursuing goals, Tolle says happiness starts with alignment with the present moment. He contrasts the horizontal dimension of becoming, with its polarities of gain and loss, with the vertical dimension of now, where you are already complete.
- •Horizontal dimension is past, future and becoming; vertical is the present moment
- •Exclusive focus on becoming traps you and prevents enjoying the now
- •Every achievement has a price, as Tolle's own growing audience cost him privacy and closeness
- •In the vertical dimension you are already full and complete
- •Know thyself means knowing yourself as consciousness
Love as Recognition of Oneness
Tolle describes love as recognizing the same consciousness in another that you recognize in yourself, in contrast to egoic neediness. He explains how he senses the being behind the person, such as a restaurant server, and extends this to trees and flowers.
- •The human is the personality and the being is the essence
- •Real love is recognizing yourself in the other
- •Egoic love says 'I need you, don't leave me'
- •Tolle makes no distinction between loving and being loved
- •Trees and nature can teach stillness
Tolle's Own Challenges and the Balance of Being and Doing
Tolle says he is not good with practical matters, though he has no periods of suffering. He explains the balance between being and doing, recounts a few years early on when he lost interest in doing, and says all his doing serves teaching being.
- •Finances and practical things can feel like a burden
- •Being is the vertical dimension and doing the horizontal
- •Everyone must find a balance between the two
- •After his awakening he sat on park benches without money or a home
- •His books and talks serve teaching being
Three Truths, Greatness and Closing
Howes promotes The Power of Now and A New Earth and thanks Tolle for his service. Tolle's central truth is to realize you are consciousness, not the person, and to accept the present moment radically. He defines greatness as living consciously and fulfilling your purpose in the evolving consciousness of the universe.
- •Books: The Power of Now and A New Earth
- •Realize you are consciousness, not the ego
- •Radical acceptance of the is-ness of now frees you from mind-created suffering
- •Greatness is to embody unconditioned consciousness
- •Outer conditions are secondary, and purpose can be fulfilled even in a prison cell
