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Gabriel Iglesias Opens Up About MENTAL HEALTH, Moving On From RELATIONSHIPS, & Why He Almost RETIRED

In this episode of The School of Greatness, Lewis is joined by comedian Gabriel 'Fluffy' Iglesias, who shares his journey from humble beginnings to selling out arenas.

Gabriel IglesiasguestLewis Howeshost

Mar 25, 20241h 5mWatch on YouTube

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CHAPTERS

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Chapter summaries

Managing Fame by Venting Onstage and Learning Through Therapy
Lewis Howes welcomes Gabriel Iglesias and asks how he manages fame while finding inner peace. Gabriel says he goes through the same heartache as anyone and airs frustrations onstage. He credits two years of therapy after his last breakup with teaching him to listen and question himself, and says you must know misery to understand peace.
- •Gabriel vents about things that bother him onstage because audiences relate
- •Two years of therapy after his last breakup taught him it wasn't all him
- •You need to know what misery is to understand peace
- •He says he feels good and happy going into 2024
The Gray Area of Confusion and Letting People Go
Asked about his darkest moments, Gabriel describes the pain of confusion and not knowing where you stand in relationships. He says we allow bad behavior to keep people in our lives, and he tolerated situations too long because he didn't want to be the bad guy. Lewis shares his own experience of staying in relationships too long.
- •Confusion and lack of clarity in relationships is painful
- •We allow certain behavior because we want to keep people in our lives
- •Some people do not belong in your life, and the sooner they go the better
- •He stayed in situations for a long time to avoid pulling the plug
- •Lewis relates through his own people-pleasing in relationships
8:43 – 11:26 Read this chapter
Loyalty and Trust in Show Business
Gabriel explains that he is still learning to let go of people, and notes the people you start with aren't always the ones you end with. He has had the same manager, agent and promoter for about 20 years. He calls loyalty and trust huge, and a key to happiness and peace.
- •He's still learning when to let people go
- •Same manager, agent and promoter for roughly 20 years
- •Loyalty and trust are taken for granted by people focused on money
- •Having the right people in your corner is key to peace
Learning You're Not Always Right
Lewis asks for the most powerful lessons from therapy. Gabriel says he learned to question himself and admit he isn't always right, even when popular and successful. He explains that nobody around a successful person wants to tell them they're wrong.
- •Learning to question himself was the main therapy takeaway
- •Popularity and success don't mean you're always right
- •People around him didn't want to disrupt the money machine by correcting him
- •He admits mistakes in both business and relationships
Freestyling Bits, Silence and Heckling
Gabriel describes how new bits begin with an idea and freestyled wording that he later refines. He is comfortable with silence and jokes about audience non-reactions, but is more afraid of heckling and distractions like noise and servers delivering food.
- •Every bit starts by freestyling and throwing it at the wall
- •Years of experience give him confidence when jokes don't land
- •He isn't afraid of silence because it means people are listening
- •Distractions like fans, clinking glasses and servers bother him more
Insecurity, Confidence and Venting Personal Struggles
Gabriel says he is always insecure onstage and embraces it because it keeps him working hard. He explains that he works personal struggles into his sets to decompress, and sometimes talks to strangers because vulnerability with people close to him feels risky.
- •He's always insecure but still confident in standup
- •Insecurity keeps him working hard
- •He incorporates personal problems into his set to decompress
- •Talking to strangers feels safe because they don't know his inner workings
- •Vulnerability is scary but keeping things in risks exploding
The Self-Love Scale and People-Pleasing
Lewis asks Gabriel to rate his self-love and inner peace, and he says about a six to seven. His lowest point was trying to please people who wouldn't be happy. Lewis shares his own childhood wounds, and Gabriel admits he still allows some people's unhealthy behavior because he loves them.
- •Gabriel rates himself five to seven on the scale
- •Lowest point was giving time, energy and love to the wrong people
- •Lewis shares abuse, isolation and school struggles that drove his people-pleasing
- •Gabriel doesn't know the source of his people-pleasing despite a loving mother
- •He still allows some close people to behave badly to avoid hurting them
Unhealthy Habits, Comfort and the Unused Gym
Asked what it would take to reach a higher score, Gabriel points to cutting back on drinking and binge eating, which he uses as crutches. He admits he dislikes discomfort and doesn't use his home gym. He also says limiting time with people who don't make him feel good would improve his self-love.
- •Binge eating and drinking are crutches when he feels bad
- •He dislikes feeling uncomfortable and new habits are hard
- •He doesn't use his nice home gym and feels guilty
- •Limiting time with people who don't make him feel good would help
31:10 – 34:06 Read this chapter
The Identity of Fluffy
Lewis asks how identity empowers or limits him. Gabriel says people see him as Fluffy, always happy, which limits what he can vent about onstage and makes bad days in public hard. He says the pros of the recognition far outweigh the cons, and he now works harder, darker material into his upcoming special.
- •People mostly call him Fluffy, tied to an always-happy image
- •He can't vent freely onstage about things that don't fit what he's built
- •Recognition feels like seeing family and people say he's helped them
- •Gabriel does have bad days, and he's incorporating a plane crash, a break-in and reuniting with his father into his show
The Dark Side of Fame and Lack of Struggle
Lewis asks about the dark side of fame and young people wanting overnight success. Gabriel says new comedians lack patience and struggle, and he started in 1997 before social media. He says viral fame may sell a ticket once, but consistency matters, and knowing the struggle makes him respect his work more.
- •New comedians want everything right now and lack struggle
- •He asks aspiring comics whether they want a hobby, a business or popularity
- •Social media can sell tickets but performance shows experience
- •Knowing the struggle makes him respect what he does
Advice to His Younger Self and Future Self
Gabriel says he wouldn't change anything because it all led him here, but wishes he'd spent more time with his mother. Lewis shares the idea that a bad day for the ego is a great day for the soul. Gabriel's advice from his future self is to stop drinking, eat better, work out and enjoy life, and he says saying it out loud is a first step.
- •He can't give his younger self advice because any change alters everything
- •He wishes he had spent more time with and asked more advice from his mother
- •Lewis shares viewing painful moments as benefiting his future self
- •Future self would say stop drinking, eat better, work out and enjoy his money
- •Saying it out loud publicly is the first step
Dodger Stadium, Retirement Talk and a Year Off
Gabriel says people can support him by telling others and coming to shows, and explains he talked about retiring because of unresolved personal issues. After Dodger Stadium, which he calls the best night of his life, he asked how to set a new goal. He recalls losing 70 pounds during the COVID year at home.
- •He only continues because people still come to shows
- •He talked about retiring due to how he felt in everyday life, not the stage
- •Dodger Stadium drew almost 50,000 and left him with an emotional and physical crash
- •He paid a fine of almost $200,000 for going over time
- •At home during COVID he ate better, quit drinking and lost 70 pounds, regaining about 40
Eliminating Excuses and Accountability
Lewis suggests Gabriel could work from home with a routine. Gabriel says he is good at making excuses and believes his own, and that no one in his circle confronts him. Lewis explains he's raising this because he wants Gabriel healthy and happy, and Gabriel says the conversation itself is support.
- •Gabriel admits he's very good at making excuses and believes them
- •People in his circle don't raise these issues with him
- •He says the conversation itself is the best support
- •Lewis frames it around what Gabriel's 80-year-old self would want
- •Accountability is a hard word he learned in therapy
Three Truths, Dogs and Defining Greatness
Lewis explains the three truths exercise. Gabriel offers struggle, patience and not overthinking, while Lewis shares gratitude, honoring health and service. Gabriel says he is proudest of giving his two dogs a great life, and defines greatness as far surpassing expectations.
- •Gabriel's truths are respecting struggle, patience and not overthinking
- •Lewis's truths are gratitude, honoring health and living in service
- •Gabriel is proudest of the life he's given his two dogs
- •Dogs don't care about money or status
- •Greatness is when something far surpasses expectations

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