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Lewis Howes"If You Want To ACHIEVE Your Goals In Life WATCH THIS!" | Priyanka Chopra Jonas & Lewis Howes
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Chapter summaries
The Quantico Audition and Talking Yourself Up
Lewis Howes asks whether Priyanka Chopra Jonas ever feels unsure before a big opportunity. She recounts her 2014 audition for Quantico, where she gave herself a pep talk in a restroom mirror, and describes how voicing insecurities takes away their power.
- •Audition for Quantico in 2014 felt humbling after a prolific Indian career
- •Mirror pep talk reminding herself of 50 movies of experience
- •Voicing insecurities to her mom, husband or best friend, or writing them down, shrinks them
- •Her dad's champagne talk taught her to share anything with her parents
Confidence as a Muscle and Daily Habits
Both discuss how confidence is a skill that must be practiced rather than something people are born with. Priyanka describes her morning and night routines and the exercise of counting five blessings.
- •Confidence is a skill, like a muscle or vocal warmups
- •Went from avoiding hallways in school to walking down the middle by 11th grade
- •Quiet morning and night routines set the tone for the day
- •Counting five blessings is an exercise she does with her mom and husband
The White Tiger and Playing Flawed Characters
The conversation turns to The White Tiger and the socioeconomic divide it portrays. Priyanka explains why she never judges her characters and how she approached playing Pinky, who is fake woke.
- •The majority of the world lives in conditions like those shown in the film
- •She never judges characters and loves playing bad guys
- •Her character is fake woke and pivots when it is inconvenient
- •The story is based on Arvind Adiga's 2008 book and shows people living in gray
Defying the Glass Ceiling and Defining the Endgame
Lewis asks how she handles the stigma that women age out of opportunities in the industry. Priyanka tells how her mom's warning led her to start a production house, how she kept reinventing herself, and why she wants to leave a legacy for women.
- •Her mom told her at 28 that girls have a shelf life, prompting her to start a production house
- •She moved from music to TV to features in America while producing in India and America
- •She didn't build the glass ceiling, so she doesn't think about where it is
- •Her endgame is a legacy her children are proud of and a better world for girls after her
Relationships, Grief, and Choosing Yourself
Priyanka talks about sustaining relationships with a packed schedule, then about her father's influence and the sadness after his death. She introduces the idea of choosing yourself and shares how she pursued The White Tiger after reading about it online.
- •She made a deal with the devil and compensates for lost face time with calls and thoughtfulness
- •Life is a fast river, so you must choose to hold on to relationships
- •Her father pushed her ambition and feared she would be seduced by sadness
- •She chased director Ramin Bahrani and read with him twice before he said yes
Advice to Young Pri and Where Self-Worth Comes From
Looking back nearly 20 years, Priyanka says she would tell her younger self not to sweat it and not to chase being loved. She explains she ties her self-worth to tangible work she creates, not to followers or looks.
- •She stressed about pleasing everyone in her early 20s
- •Fame is a byproduct and the real job is the art and craft
- •She takes joy in people being moved by her work
- •Self-worth comes from successful work she creates with her own hands and mind
Handling Failure, Happiness, and Online Hate
Priyanka explains that a person's worth shows in how they react after failing. She says happiness cannot depend on others, and describes how she deals with trolls by focusing on her support.
- •Everyone fails if they try something new; she recommends pizza for five days, then back to work
- •Worth comes from how you react after failure or hurt
- •No one else can contribute to your happiness; validation must come from within
- •She chooses to focus on supporters rather than trolls, citing We Can Be Heroes
Ten-Year Future Self, Saying No, and the Law of Attraction
Prompted by a Matthew McConaughey reference, Lewis asks what her future self would say. Priyanka talks about creating inclusive content and needing to slow down, and explains she doesn't practice the law of attraction but aims for excellence every day.
- •Hopes future self is proud she's creating stories for people like her and South Asian representation
- •Future self would advise her to take time out and smell the roses
- •Saying no is her greatest challenge because she is greedy
- •She aims for excellence in every small task rather than manifesting
What Men and Women Can Do, and Forgiveness
Asked what to expect from men and women going forward, Priyanka says parents should teach sons to be vulnerable and respectful, and men should create opportunities for women. She tells women to find forgiveness for patriarchy and admits she struggles to forgive remarks that dismiss her work.
- •Parents should teach sons to be vulnerable and respect women
- •Men should create opportunities and treat women as equals
- •Women are encouraged to forgive past patriarchy while fighting for rights
- •She says she doesn't forget but forgives after time passes
Childhood Influences, America, and Becoming Miss World
Priyanka discusses her parents' lessons, her teenage years in the US, and how she ended up in pageants. She recalls her adjustment to Iowa high school and her brother sending in her photos for Miss India.
- •Her dad told her to be like water and her mom said to always be financially independent
- •She moved to the US at 12 and returned to India at 16
- •High school in Cedar Rapids, Iowa was the biggest challenge
- •She never dreamed of acting; her mom and brother sent her photos for Miss India
Insecurity, Indulging It, and Working Backwards
Priyanka recalls her most insecure periods, including starting over in America with Quantico. She explains allowing herself to feel insecure until she got bored of it, then using a work-backwards method to reach goals.
- •Acting is an insecure business with no steady check
- •She allows herself to be insecure but checks whether she is being indulgent
- •Her insecure phases lasted from a couple of hours to a couple of years
- •Working backwards from a goal breaks it into micro steps
Writing Unfinished and Vulnerability
Priyanka explains why she wrote her memoir, which grew out of pandemic reflection, and why exposing her struggles terrifies her. Lewis shares his own experience of opening up about childhood sexual abuse and the healing it brought.
- •She began after nearly 20 years in showbiz and called it the in-between interviews book
- •Writing revealed forgotten memories and was cathartic
- •She fears exposing vulnerabilities and struggles she never discussed
- •Lewis describes how speaking about his abuse set him free and led him to help men heal
Three Truths, Greatness, and Closing
Lewis asks his closing three truths question, and Priyanka answers: choose yourself, love completely, and honor family. She shares where to follow her work and defines greatness as ending each day content with how you lived it.
- •First truth: invest in and choose yourself
- •Second truth: the only way to love is completely
- •Third truth: family born into, chosen, and that chooses you
- •Greatness is found in everyday moments and going to bed happy with the day
