If You're Working Hard & Still Can't Get Ahead, Watch This | Tiffany Aliche

Tiffany Aliche 0:00 Now I had this condo for $220,000.

Lewis Howes 0:02 Oh my gosh.

Tiffany Aliche 0:03 Student loan debt, $50,000. Credit card debt, $35,000. And no income. How do I make more? How do I save more? Now it's just, how do I make enough to see my way through? Will I even be okay? I promised myself if I dug my way out, I was gonna show others the way too.

Lewis Howes 0:18 From $300,000 in debt to an eight-figure business, the author of Get Good With Money, Tiffany Aliche.

Tiffany Aliche 0:24 There was so much shame around it, and it kept me in bondage for so long. Shame is like one of the worst emotions that you can feel. It's like cancerous, honestly, because shame shields solution. I have people who I know who are worth tens of millions, even hundreds of millions of dollars. That does not guarantee joy. Woo-hoo, I'm making $10 million, but I'm killing myself.

Lewis Howes 0:43 Wow.

Tiffany Aliche 0:44 Get clear on what actually brings you joy, center that, and use money as one of the tools to support that.

Lewis Howes 0:51 What is the biggest challenge everyone's gonna face around money?

Tiffany Aliche 0:54 Hmm. I don't...

Lewis Howes 0:58 You've been helping people understand how to navigate all the different challenges that they might have around money-

Tiffany Aliche 1:04 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 1:04 ... in their life for a long time, almost two decades now.

Tiffany Aliche 1:06 I know.

Lewis Howes 1:07 I think you've been teaching this and originally kind of helping yourself understand it. You were a preschool teacher, I think, is that right? Or-

Tiffany Aliche 1:13 Yeah, for 10 years. Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 1:14 10 years.

Tiffany Aliche 1:15 I know. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:15 Preschool teacher. You had a whole nother life.

Tiffany Aliche 1:18 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 1:18 And you got into understanding and teaching kind of tax and budgeting during school for other teachers, is that right, and parents?

Tiffany Aliche 1:26 Well, really it started 'cause I, my dad was a CFO and an accountant.

Lewis Howes 1:29 Uh-huh.

Tiffany Aliche 1:29 And so I learned about money at home, my four sisters and I. So he was like the academic component of money. Like, "Okay, let's sit down and let me show you how to budget and save and invest." And my mom was the application, 'cause she's like, "But when you go to the supermarket, here's how you n- negotiate and navigate." And so I got that at home growing up and, and then I just became the go-to for all my girlfriends and friends of friends when it came to money.

Lewis Howes 1:52 Wow.

Tiffany Aliche 1:52 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 1:53 But something happened to you. You, you got into debt, you kinda got scammed.

Tiffany Aliche 1:56 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:56 And you got into credit card debt, but you o- you originally were living a life debt-free, kind of perfect around money.

Tiffany Aliche 2:02 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 2:02 But then something happened where you got tricked.

Tiffany Aliche 2:05 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 2:05 And then you were in debt for 300 grand, I believe, right?

Tiffany Aliche 2:07 Yeah, so I-

Lewis Howes 2:09 So how does that happen, first off, when your parents are the ones that are, like, teaching you great money habits, and you're, you're going into your 20s perfect around money, and then all of a sudden you have this financial

Lewis Howes 2:20 challenge?

Tiffany Aliche 2:20 Well, because I was an arrogant 20-something-year-old. So up until 25-ish, I was financially perfect, great credit score. I had like $30,000 saved. I'd bought a condo. And I just thought, "Well, I know everything. I don't need to ask for help."

Lewis Howes 2:35 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 2:35 "Why should I ask?" And I remember I wanted to surprise my parents by getting rich fast.

Lewis Howes 2:40 Mm.

Tiffany Aliche 2:40 So a friend of mine, we use air quotes, I call him Jake. That's not really his name, but Jake the thief. Um, I write about him in my book, Get Good With Money. He told me, "I can show you how to get rich." And I said, "Oh my God, I'm stupid. I mean, yeah." And so, 'cause I thought he was rich, 'cause in your 20s you think if someone has a nice car.

Lewis Howes 2:56 Oh, yeah, yeah. They got a watch, they got a Mercedes.

Tiffany Aliche 2:58 Oh my gosh.

Lewis Howes 2:58 They, they figured it out.

Tiffany Aliche 2:59 Yeah. I said, "Oh."

Lewis Howes 2:59 They had the answers.

Tiffany Aliche 3:00 He was older than me, and he was like, "I want you to pull money off of a credit card." I'd never heard of a cash advance before. He said, "We're gonna take that money and we're gonna invest it, and it's gonna generate you $2,000 a week for two years." I don't even... I mean.

Lewis Howes 3:14 You were like, "That sounds good to me." Yeah, yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 3:16 [laughs] So I took off, it's like 30, $35,000 off two credit cards I didn't even have. I had one credit card that I used to use for gas and pay it off every, every month, 'cause my dad told me pay it off every month.

Lewis Howes 3:27 Mm-hmm.

Tiffany Aliche 3:27 So I had to open up two new ones. And I remember walking down to a bank when I was pulling off half of the money, and I remember distinctly, 'cause I was still teaching preschool, and I was going during my lunch break. And when we taught preschool, you had to wear like a nurse's uniform, so like scrubs so that we could play with the kids-

Lewis Howes 3:43 Oh, yeah

Tiffany Aliche 3:43 ... and not worry. So I had a teddy bear set on. [laughs] And I was like-

Lewis Howes 3:46 Wow.

Tiffany Aliche 3:46 So here I was, like 20-something years old, going to the bank saying, "Can I please have $20,000 off my card?" They thought like... I mean, they, I remember them trying to convince me. They're like, "Are you sure? How old are you?" Do you... I mean, all the red flags, but I was colorblind, and I took the money, and I, we had a contract that we both signed, and then he promptly ran away.

Lewis Howes 4:06 Did he just disappear? He kinda ghosted you? Or what?

Tiffany Aliche 4:08 Well, not right away, 'cause he kept, you know, he kept the scheme going.

Lewis Howes 4:12 Did he pay you every week for a while, or no?

Tiffany Aliche 4:14 No, 'cause he was like, "Oh, it's being invested. Oh, it's happening."

Lewis Howes 4:16 Oh. It takes six months now to see. Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 4:17 "Oh, it's... Yes. You didn't get the check? I sent it. You didn't get the wire?" Yeah.

Lewis Howes 4:20 Man. The gaslighting.

Tiffany Aliche 4:21 And so for a year for... So I was back and forth for a year, and between that time I was like, since I'm gonna be rich, I started purchasing things.

Lewis Howes 4:27 Oh, no.

Tiffany Aliche 4:27 [laughs] Yes. And then I, I, I had... So it's like this, all of these things happened at the same time. I bought a condo. I had just finished my master's, so I had, like, student loan debt.

Lewis Howes 4:39 Oh, yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 4:39 And then this $35,000 of credit card debt.

Lewis Howes 4:42 And you're paying interest on that.

Tiffany Aliche 4:44 Yes.

Lewis Howes 4:44 Oh, yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 4:45 And so it took me a while, on my teacher, preschool teacher salary, $39,000 a year.

Lewis Howes 4:49 Wow.

Tiffany Aliche 4:50 And so it took me a while to realize, like, wait, I don't think I'm gonna get my money back. Then I started to freak out, and I said, "Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh." I didn't tell my parents anything. I didn't tell them about the investment, about anything. And I said, "It's okay. I'm gonna buckle down. I'm gonna pay off this debt on my own." Then the recession happened,

Tiffany Aliche 5:05 and I lost my job as a teacher.

Lewis Howes 5:06 In 2008. Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 5:08 I was like, "Are you kidding me?" And then I really was back against the wall. So now I had this condo for $220,000, student loan debt, $50,000, credit card debt, $35,000, and no income. And I just remember thinking, "What do I do now?" And so I was fortunate, 'cause everyone can't do this. Um, I remember calling my older sister and saying, "What do I do?" She's like, "You're gonna have to move back home." I was like, "No!" [laughs] 'Cause my parents are very strict Nigerian parents. Plus I did, I was ashamed.

Lewis Howes 5:37 Right.

Tiffany Aliche 5:37 I didn't wanna tell them that I messed up, so I didn't even say anything at first. I just, like, moved my lamp, then moved, like, my clothes, and then my mattress. My dad was like, "Are, are you back home?" I was like, "Just for a little bit." [laughs] I mean, they knew I owned a condo, and honestly did not tell them the truth until like two years later. I wrote, like, a self-published book called The One Week Budget, and in it, I had a chapter about debt, and I told my dad, "Before I make this live on Amazon, I need you to read a chapter." And he was like, "Is that why you moved back home?" He says he just thought it was the recession, and I was trying to save money. But there was so much shame around it, so much shame, and it kept me in bondage for so long. And I promised myself if I dug my way out, I was gonna show others, people the way too.

Lewis Howes 6:17 Really?

Tiffany Aliche 6:17 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 6:18 How long did it take you to dig yourself out of the hole?

Tiffany Aliche 6:21 It took almost five years for me to just get back to what I was making as a preschool teacher.

Lewis Howes 6:26 39 grand, 40 grand a year.

Tiffany Aliche 6:28 Yes.

Lewis Howes 6:28 Five more years to be back.

Tiffany Aliche 6:29 Five more years.

Lewis Howes 6:30 What were you doing, or were you working, or were you trying to start your own business? What was happening during those years?

Tiffany Aliche 6:33 Yeah, I was trying to start The Budgetnista, my business, because I'm... I always kind of had this thing that I wanted to do something, and I wanted to start a business, but I was too afraid. But then when I lost my job, I said, "Well, there actually is no safety, even in teaching."

Lewis Howes 6:48 Right. Even with a government safe job.

Tiffany Aliche 6:50 Yeah, there's no safety. So it was the best thing that could've happened, because for me, I'm actually risk adverse. People think, like, 'cause I have this eight-figure business and I'm such a... No, I'm risk adverse. But what became scary to me was the safety.

Lewis Howes 7:02 Safety became scary.

Tiffany Aliche 7:03 Yes, it became sc- 'Cause it's like, oh, that lulled me to sleep. Look, oh, so you think this-

Lewis Howes 7:07 Ah, I got comfortable.

Tiffany Aliche 7:08 Yes. But at least with my own business, I see the numbers. I, I can control.

Lewis Howes 7:12 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 7:13 If I'm willing to work hard, I can figure it out.

Lewis Howes 7:14 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 7:15 And so-

Lewis Howes 7:15 And if you're broke, at least you're in control.

Tiffany Aliche 7:17 Yes.

Lewis Howes 7:17 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 7:17 Versus, like, someone saying, "You don't have a job today."

Lewis Howes 7:19 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 7:20 Yes, and so I just was starting the business. I remember I moved out of my parents' house, and I moved on my sister's couch for some time, which she loved that. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 7:28 [laughs] You and I both lived on our sister's couches. For me, it was a year and a half on my sister's couch.

Tiffany Aliche 7:32 Yeah, it was a year. She was moving.

Lewis Howes 7:33 During that same time.

Tiffany Aliche 7:35 She was moving, and I was like, "Ooh, when are we moving?" She's like, "No, I'm getting a new apartment." [laughs]

Lewis Howes 7:38 Yeah, you're getting out.

Tiffany Aliche 7:39 Yeah. And then I rented a room. So a friend of mine had like, um, she lived in Newark, New Jersey, and she said there's this house full of teachers, and we each rent a room for $500. And I didn't even have the 500, but I said, "I'll figure it out." So I lived there for a few years, just like a bunch of us teachers, and I just rented a room for $500 while-

Lewis Howes 7:57 Kind of like a college frat house or something.

Tiffany Aliche 7:59 Yeah, but for t-

Lewis Howes 7:59 Sorority house, just like, you know.

Tiffany Aliche 8:00 Mm-hmm, for teachers.

Lewis Howes 8:01 Uh-huh.

Tiffany Aliche 8:02 Mm-hmm. And so, and it was there that I really started to build my, my business, and it took five years for the business to generate the 39, $40,000 for me.

Lewis Howes 8:12 Really?

Tiffany Aliche 8:13 Mm-hmm. I know, on social media has everybody thinking you're gonna be rich right away. You make your first million the first year. No, my first year I made $8,000 gross.

Lewis Howes 8:20 Wow.

Tiffany Aliche 8:21 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 8:21 So you're just paying for rent, essentially.

Tiffany Aliche 8:23 Yes, essentially.

Lewis Howes 8:23 Food and rent.

Tiffany Aliche 8:24 Yep. Yeah.

Lewis Howes 8:25 Yeah. For years.

Tiffany Aliche 8:26 For years. And then I remember, I, 'cause that year, year five, I made six figures in the business, but my take-home was the 40.

Lewis Howes 8:33 Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Tiffany Aliche 8:34 You know?

Lewis Howes 8:34 You're not ta- you're not keeping all that.

Tiffany Aliche 8:35 Nah. You know, and then a year later, I made my first seven figures. It was like a year and a half later. And then a year after that, I made my first eight figures.

Lewis Howes 8:42 Wow.

Tiffany Aliche 8:43 And so-

Lewis Howes 8:43 So then it really started to accelerate.

Tiffany Aliche 8:44 It did, 'cause to, to me, success is cumulative. You know? Like, it starts to compound, you know what I mean? Like, it took five years, but really, I didn't have to start from scratch, you know. It was like I built upon it and built upon it, and now here I am, like 16, 17 years later.

Lewis Howes 8:59 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 8:59 You know, rocking out.

Lewis Howes 9:00 Crushing life.

Tiffany Aliche 9:00 [laughs]

Lewis Howes 9:01 We, I think we both experienced this, something called post-traumatic broke syndrome-

Tiffany Aliche 9:06 Yes

Lewis Howes 9:06 ... which you talk about, which I love this concept. I was in a similar situation. The economy, 2007, 2008, sleeping on my sister's couch.

Tiffany Aliche 9:14 Mm.

Lewis Howes 9:14 Had no money, living off three credit cards. Uh, no savings. Student loan debt, all that stuff. And I had no clue on how to make money or who would give me money or how to start a business, none of this. But after a few years of launching a business and finally figuring it out, the money started to come, but I still had this kind of post-traumatic broke syndrome.

Tiffany Aliche 9:37 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 9:37 And I was still taking Greyhound buses across the country to go to conferences.

Tiffany Aliche 9:43 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 9:43 Middle seat, back row, Southwest-

Tiffany Aliche 9:45 Yeah

Lewis Howes 9:45 ... cheapest discount, multiple connection, any way I could. Sleeping on people's couches. I wouldn't rent a hotel room for like eight years.

Tiffany Aliche 9:52 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 9:52 I wouldn't get a hotel room 'cause I was just afraid to spend any of it.

Tiffany Aliche 9:56 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 9:57 Can you share with me what this post-traumatic broke syndrome is and how it impacted your life?

Tiffany Aliche 10:02 Honestly, it's trauma, right? So because you think to yourself that this money should fix it, but it doesn't erase what actually happened.

Lewis Howes 10:12 Right.

Tiffany Aliche 10:13 You know what I mean? And so I have a-

Lewis Howes 10:14 The pain, the wound.

Tiffany Aliche 10:15 Yes. It doesn't... I remember I told my therapist, she's... I've got this amazing therapist and, you know, I was like, as I'm working on my life, and I'm like, "Well, the person apologized to me. Why don't I feel better? I thought I was gonna feel like, ugh." And she said, "Because it actually still happened." 'Cause we believe that, like, fixing what's happening now will, will undo what happened, but it doesn't undo it. Certainly it makes now better, but that actually happened. And so post-traumatic broke syndrome is that, like, there is something about struggling financially that's really traumatic. Not knowing where you're gonna sleep, what are you gonna eat. I mean, so as a preschool teacher, they taught us Maslow's hierarchy of needs. So, and it was important because if a, a little one came in and had not eaten and did not feel safe, I'm sorry, we can't do A, B, C, D.

Lewis Howes 11:00 You can't teach. They're not gonna be in a, in an environment-

Tiffany Aliche 11:03 No

Lewis Howes 11:03 ... to receive information.

Tiffany Aliche 11:04 No.

Lewis Howes 11:05 They're in fight or flight mode.

Tiffany Aliche 11:06 Exactly.

Lewis Howes 11:07 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 11:07 And so for you, if you navigated being broke for a number of years, you d- you could not see beyond, what am I gonna do? Like, there is a level of trauma that you have to, that you experience when you're navigating that. And so what I've learned is, like, now I don't, I don't, I don't feel that as much, but I was afraid to do anything 'cause I said I cannot go back to a place where I did not know if I was gonna be okay. So whatever it takes, that means not spending any money. And I know better than to have all this money in savings. I remember it, it, the, the breaking point for me was I had a million dollars

Tiffany Aliche 11:42 in savings.

Lewis Howes 11:42 Shut up. In the bank, just sitting there.

Tiffany Aliche 11:44 In the bank. And I said, "E- And then I know better." And I, 'cause I had saved every penny. I was not going out. I wasn't... My car was like a '99 Toyota Camry that would break down. I would go to speaking engagements where they paid me good money and come back to a car that wouldn't start.

Lewis Howes 11:57 Wow.

Tiffany Aliche 11:58 And I just was like, "Tiffany, what is happening?" And so I realized, so the key to break past post-traumatic broke syndrome, honestly, is I had to ask for help.

Lewis Howes 12:06 Hmm.

Tiffany Aliche 12:06 So I got a financial advisor, 'cause I'm like, I need someone external to say-

Lewis Howes 12:11 It's okay

Tiffany Aliche 12:12 ... yes.

Lewis Howes 12:12 You can do this.

Tiffany Aliche 12:12 Mm-hmm. This is what we're gonna do with that, you know? And then I also got a therapist, 'cause I also was like, I need to, like, ask myself, who is that Tiffany that shows up when I'm afraid? 'Cause it's not current Tiffany. She has enough, and what do I need to tell her to say, "We're, we're okay now"

Lewis Howes 12:27 Wow

Tiffany Aliche 12:27 ... you don't have to show up and you don't have to protect me anymore. Like, new Tiffany got it

Lewis Howes 12:31 Because you, you know, the energy you used, you were kind of living in scarcity for many years

Tiffany Aliche 12:36 Yeah

Lewis Howes 12:36 ... but you were driven to earn and make money from that energetic state, right?

Tiffany Aliche 12:43 Yeah

Lewis Howes 12:43 And it wor- it fueled you enough to say, "I'm gonna work hard, I'm gonna work 10, 12, 14 hours a day. I'm gonna grind it out and be consistent, five, six, seven years. Finally, I'm making the money."

Tiffany Aliche 12:53 Yeah

Lewis Howes 12:54 But you didn't sh- turn that off.

Tiffany Aliche 12:57 No

Lewis Howes 12:57 That energy continued to create from a space of scarcity or lack.

Tiffany Aliche 13:01 Yes

Lewis Howes 13:02 Right? Even though you had abundance now.

Tiffany Aliche 13:04 Yeah

Lewis Howes 13:04 You had financial freedom, but the energy inside of you was still traumatized.

Tiffany Aliche 13:08 Yes

Lewis Howes 13:09 So what happens if you would've continued creating and building your business from that scarce state, even though energetically it was working for an external result, but it wasn't making you feel harmony on an internal result?

Tiffany Aliche 13:23 Well, honestly, it, it did happen. I, I was up 30 pounds. For the first time, I had high blood pressure. I never had... I always had perfect blood pressure. I was crying every day. I couldn't even understand why.

Lewis Howes 13:35 Really?

Tiffany Aliche 13:35 Everything would make me, like, burst into tears. Um, hypersensitive. I remember, like, I couldn't sleep well, and I'm like, "What's happening? You're making more..." I remember my top year, we had $10 million in a year, and that was my most unhappy.

Lewis Howes 13:49 Really?

Tiffany Aliche 13:50 My most unhappy.

Lewis Howes 13:51 Why?

Tiffany Aliche 13:51 Because it's, it was, it was honestly killing me, you know? Because I wasn't doing it from a place of strategy, you know? Like, I wasn't... I was, uh, running away from, not running toward, and that's two different things. You know what I mean? Like, and so... And I was even more terrified because the more I made, I had-- my team had ballooned to 30 people, and now I gotta keep going. It was just, honestly, it was a, a horrendous time. You know what I mean? Like, and but from the outside, people are like, "Oh my gosh, most businesses never make a, a million dollars in a year, let alone a woman-led business." You know? And you would think it, but I was my most unhappiest, and the only thing that would, um, that gave me some balance was I had the most amazing husband.

Lewis Howes 14:36 Mm.

Tiffany Aliche 14:37 Jarel. He was like... So work was like, even now, like, my heart is beating thinking about that time, how overwhelmed I was. And then, but home was, like, so supportive. He was like, so kind,

Tiffany Aliche 14:49 so, you know, "What do you need? How can I help?" And, and, and so that helped me to balance.

Lewis Howes 14:54 Mm.

Tiffany Aliche 14:54 And then in 2021, he passed away. He had a brain aneurysm. Literally, he was here on a Monday-

Lewis Howes 15:02 Mm

Tiffany Aliche 15:02 ... and gone on Friday.

Lewis Howes 15:04 Really? And everything was fine?

Tiffany Aliche 15:06 Every... Well, 'cause a brain aneurysm is a silent killer. I mean, this man's 6'6".

Lewis Howes 15:10 Wow.

Tiffany Aliche 15:11 He's an identical twin.

Lewis Howes 15:13 Mm.

Tiffany Aliche 15:13 And so we said you had twins, you know?

Lewis Howes 15:15 Yeah

Tiffany Aliche 15:16 Identical twin. Jarel and Terrell, which I always think is funny when people [laughs] name their twins matching names.

Lewis Howes 15:21 Yeah

Tiffany Aliche 15:21 And just like the picture of health, slim, you know what I mean? Like, this is like a fit, like-

Lewis Howes 15:26 He was healthy

Tiffany Aliche 15:27 ... yeah. And so-

Lewis Howes 15:28 In his 40s or...?

Tiffany Aliche 15:29 Yeah, 41. He called me. I remember he called me and said... I was supposed to speak for a bank, and the, they had sent a car for me. I was in New Jersey. The, the car was gonna send me to New York to speak at this... They had paid me, like, $70,000 to speak. Money's already deposited in, and I was getting dressed. The car said, "I'm downstairs." I said, "Okay." And then he called me and I said, "Are you okay, baby?" He said, "Nah, I've got a terrible, terrible headache. I'm gonna, I'm gonna go to the emergency room." Which anybody who knows Jarel, he was like, he-

Lewis Howes 15:56 He would never do that for him.

Tiffany Aliche 15:57 No, he loved the damn doctor. That was the joke. I used to be like, "He's like, 'My pinky toe hurts.' Go to the doctor."

Lewis Howes 16:01 Oh, he liked the doctor.

Tiffany Aliche 16:02 Yeah. [laughs] I don't know why he was like, he was rare in that, but he... So when he said, "I'm going to the emergency room for a headache," I was like, "Here you go."

Lewis Howes 16:09 Wow

Tiffany Aliche 16:09 Like, you know. But then something said, "Mm."

Lewis Howes 16:12 Hmm, something's off.

Tiffany Aliche 16:12 "This feels a little different." And so I had never not made a speaking engagement before. Like, never.

Lewis Howes 16:18 But you decided not to go?

Tiffany Aliche 16:19 Yeah, and I remember something was like, [lips smack] "Tiffany, don't go." And I said, 'cause I thought, "Well, you know what? I'll meet him there. I'll go speak. It's only an hour."

Lewis Howes 16:26 Wow.

Tiffany Aliche 16:26 "I'll come right back." Um, but something said, "Don't go." And I remember I told the driver, I said, you know, "I'm, I'm not gonna go." My, I don't know what I told him 'cause I, I, then I started shaking, and I'm like, "What's wrong, Tiffany?" And I, I think I told him, like, "I can't go. My husband's in the hospital," something like that. So when I came downstairs to grab my stuff-

Lewis Howes 16:43 It's like you had an intuition, you had a knowing.

Tiffany Aliche 16:45 Yeah

Lewis Howes 16:46 Interesting

Tiffany Aliche 16:46 So I came downstairs and the driver was still there, and I remember he was like an angel. I told him, "I'm not gonna go to New York." He said, "No, no, I heard you." And I'm like, "Why are you still here?" He said, "You can't drive yourself." And I just remember being like, wow. He drove me, and even when we got to the hospital, I went to get out. He said, "Wait, are your people here?" 'Cause I had called, like, Jarel's sister, his twin, my mom. I don't even know why for a headache, but I was calling everybody. And I said, "No, not yet." He said, "Then I'll wait with you."

Lewis Howes 17:12 Wow

Tiffany Aliche 17:13 I'll never forget. I don't remember his name, but I'll never forget that.

Lewis Howes 17:15 That's beautiful

Tiffany Aliche 17:15 You know? But that moment single-handedly broke and saved me.

Lewis Howes 17:20 Really?

Tiffany Aliche 17:21 Because after that, it rearranged the way I thought about everything because I'm like, oh, death can happen. It's the most common uncommon thing. It's like we know everyone dies, but, like, not your person, not your mom, not your dad, not your sister, not your husband, not your wife, you know? It's like death is like, um, to lose someone like that is like... So just imagine that, like, this is the neighbor's house, and that's your other neighbor's house, and this is your house in the middle. And so-

Lewis Howes 17:49 Mm

Tiffany Aliche 17:49 ... if someone, when someone dies like that, it's not that the house is burnt down, 'cause that makes sense. Oh, I see the relic. Like, I came back from a walk, the house is burned, I see, or it was demolished, I see. No, it's like this house is literally missing and the two houses are now neighbors.

Lewis Howes 18:05 Interesting

Tiffany Aliche 18:06 You're like, that doesn't, it doesn't make sense that a person could just be gone. You know what I mean?

Lewis Howes 18:11 Just like that.

Tiffany Aliche 18:11 Just like that

Lewis Howes 18:12 With no cause, no, like, warning.

Tiffany Aliche 18:14 No warning. Like, I came home, I'm like, but his toolbox

Tiffany Aliche 18:17 is still here.

Lewis Howes 18:17 Oh.

Tiffany Aliche 18:18 His toothbrush is literally still wet.

Lewis Howes 18:20 Wow

Tiffany Aliche 18:20 His boots are still here. When I tell you, it, it nearly broke me. But what emerged from that Was I refuse to live a life that is not aligned.

Lewis Howes 18:29 Mm.

Tiffany Aliche 18:30 I just can't. So that the business, um, made less, but oddly enough, we kept more. Like, our, our margins were better. But quite honestly, I didn't care about that. I worked less. I reduced the team. I'm way more connected. I made more time for family and friends. I mean, my life is 10 times better-

Lewis Howes 18:48 Wow

Tiffany Aliche 18:48 ... as a result of that shifting loss. And so it was, like, the, the worst thing that could've happened, and then what it's generated is, um, this other life that my therapist calls the gift of grief.

Lewis Howes 19:01 The gift of grief.

Tiffany Aliche 19:02 The gift of grief. Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 19:03 Because y- you... Before this, were you still in this kind of fight or flight scarcity mode?

Tiffany Aliche 19:08 Very much so. It was like right ye- I mean, he... The year he passed away is the year I hit, I think, our, our $10 million. So this is peak business, doing the best, but peak stress, peak... I look back at pictures of myself from that time, I don't even recognize-

Lewis Howes 19:22 Wow

Tiffany Aliche 19:22 ... um, myself. And so, you know, I, of course, I'm not glad that my husband passed away, not even a little bit, you know? I am really grateful that grief has just realigned for me that, like, what really actually matters, Tiffany. Like, I woke up today, like, feeling so grateful. And I thought to... I don't know. My birthday's in two days. Maybe that's why I'm just, like, really reflective. But I was like, "Oh, man, Tiffany, you live such a full and wonderful life, even with all the loss." You know? Like, if I... If, if, if God were to give me the book of my life and say, "Just so you know, if you marry this guy, you'll have him for a little bit, and it'll be beautiful, but it's gonna break you," and I would do it 1,000 times knowing that I'd be break- broken into a million pieces, you know? Like, to me, that is the fullness of life.

Lewis Howes 20:08 Wow.

Tiffany Aliche 20:08 And to me, I teach personal finance so you can remove the, the excuse of money from having the, that experience of the fullness of life.

Lewis Howes 20:17 Mm.

Tiffany Aliche 20:17 You know? Does that make sense?

Lewis Howes 20:18 Yes.

Tiffany Aliche 20:18 Yeah.

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Lewis Howes 21:15 So if someone's finally ready to take control of their finances today, knowing that they're struggling, knowing that they don't even feel like they have enough to survive-

Tiffany Aliche 21:23 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 21:23 ... what do they first need to understand about their own relationship with money in order to take control of their finances?

Tiffany Aliche 21:30 Well, it's gonna sound a little woo-woo, but it's true. It really is gonna be a mindset shift. I remember one time, one of my mentors, when I was really struggling, and she had, like, you know, some multimillion dollar business, and I was talking to her. And I was just, like, telling her, like, how this person's having a hard time and this person, so of course I am. She said, "You know everyone's not broke, right?" And I was like, "Huh?" She said, "D- you know that everyone is not broke." I'm like, I'm like, "Yeah, but these people..." She's like, "I'm not talking about th- I'm talking about everyone is not broke. There's a line between there are people who don't have, people who do have. What side do you wanna be on, Tiffany?"

Lewis Howes 22:03 Mm.

Tiffany Aliche 22:03 And I was like, "I wanna have." She's like, "Then what you worried about that for? Focus on how do you get on this side."

Lewis Howes 22:08 Interesting.

Tiffany Aliche 22:08 And I just was like, "Yeah, that's easy for you to say because..." And she said, "No, it's because I believe it." And so there's no way... So one thing I've learned is that we don't actually... Like, Lewis, we don't get to live what's actually true. We get to live what we believe to be true.

Lewis Howes 22:25 Mm.

Tiffany Aliche 22:25 So, like, I grew up in a household where my dad told me and my four sisters and my mom that we were geniuses. I don't know if I'm so smart, but you can't tell me that I can't do all the things.

Lewis Howes 22:35 Right.

Tiffany Aliche 22:35 Because it was, like, literally, if I brought him a B, he'd be like, "A B? Not from a kid like you. You're an A kid." And I'd be like, "Oh, maybe I am a A kid." Now, I can look now and maybe my, my IQ is average at best, but you can't tell me that because what I believe to be true is that, like, I'm smart as hell. I can do whatever I want. Because that's what I grew up with. Now, what actually might be true is I'm of average intelligence.

Lewis Howes 22:59 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 22:59 But my life doesn't reflect that because I'm navigating for what I believe to be true, not what's actually true. And so with anybody navigating their finances, if you're, if you just decide, "Well, I'm only making 50, I can never have enough," then you'll get stuck there, and you won't do anything to move forward versus, "You know what? I believe I can have more." Because I, I've only ever had two jobs, preschool teacher, Budgetnista. How? Because there's a belief in me-

Lewis Howes 23:25 Mm-hmm

Tiffany Aliche 23:25 ... that I've said, "Okay, so teaching can make me a millionaire."

Lewis Howes 23:29 Right.

Tiffany Aliche 23:29 You... As, as a result, like, what's been in my head has reached my hands, and then my hands do the work. So if you, for example, believe I can never go to college because I don't have money and I don't, I didn't have great grades, then you don't even apply. And so guess what? The world meets you where you are and says, "You're right. No college for you."

Lewis Howes 23:46 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 23:46 But if you believe, "You know what? I could get into any school that I want," then you do the work necessary-

Lewis Howes 23:52 Mm

Tiffany Aliche 23:52 ... to get you there, and that's the thing. So if you're wanting a financial shift, it has to start with, do you actually believe that there's something better

Tiffany Aliche 24:00 out there for you financially?

Lewis Howes 24:01 How do people shift their mindset to believe they can have more financially if they've grown up in an environment and they have evidence and proof only that they are incapable of creating that life?

Tiffany Aliche 24:15 You have to make it your business to search for evidence to the contrary. You know? Like, there has to be, um, corrective experiences. So, so for example, if you say to yourself, um You know, like everybody in my family has never gone to college. Well then, don't look at your family. Is there the neighbor's family?

Lewis Howes 24:32 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 24:32 "Oh, but you know that one neighborhood kid did go." You know? Or you might tell yourself, um, you know, "I've never been able to save more than $10,000 or a thousand dollars, you know? It's just not possible." And it's just like, well, you know, like, but if I, if I can save 10, I think I could do 20. If I could do 20, I think I could do 100. If I could do 100, I think I could do 1,000. And so you don't have to jump all the way to becoming a millionaire or whatever, but the, the corrective experience says these small things-

Lewis Howes 25:03 Mm-hmm

Tiffany Aliche 25:03 ... tell you actually that's not true. Like this little voice in your head, "Who said that? That... Oh, this is true. So I can't do 100. If I could do 100, you know what? I feel like I could do five." That's what I used to tell myself. I started off saving like a dollar a month when I first started just to prove to myself there's an excess dollar in your life. 'Cause I said, "Well, you know, if you could do a dollar one day, Tiffany, one day you'll do five." And then I got to five. If I could do five, you know, one day I think I can get to $50. And then before I knew it, I had that stupid million dollars in my bank account, even though it should be invested. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 25:32 Right, right, right, right.

Tiffany Aliche 25:33 You know? But that's the thing. You have to create or search out for corrective experiences, even if they're not your own. There are people who I used to just watch. Like, I used to, like, watch all these, like, Will Smith had all, has all these, um... If you type on YouTube "Will Smith wisdom", these clips of Will Smith giving, like, these, like, wisdom chunks, and I would watch them over and over and over 'cause even though I didn't have any other external place, is there someone who I can watch that is doing the thing-

Lewis Howes 26:00 Wow

Tiffany Aliche 26:00 ... to help create those corrective experiences? So that is the, that is the first thing, is to search out for those corrective experiences and then to reinforce them when they happen

Tiffany Aliche 26:09 to you. You know?

Lewis Howes 26:11 I mean, the thing that you're sharing with me that you're seeing in your community of two million people saying they don't have enough, they're in debt, they're dealing with a lot of bankruptcy it sounds like more and more now.

Tiffany Aliche 26:21 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 26:22 As we go into 2027 and beyond, what is the biggest challenge everyone's gonna face around money?

Tiffany Aliche 26:30 Biggest challenge is, is not making enough. It's not a, um, spend too much issue, it's a don't make enough issue. You know? So asking yourself... So for example, yes, there might be the statistics show that this is what people are making or not making, but there's a woman on my team, Logan, who is amazing. And so Logan one time asked me for a raise. We didn't have it. But what I did say is, "I could do a profit share." So what I did was, you know, as an owner you can draw money out of your company. I said, "Well, how about any money that I draw out, I set aside 20% to do a profit share for you and other high performers." I found it because I'm not, I'm not losing Logan.

Lewis Howes 27:12 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 27:12 So that is one of the ways that like, yes, everyone is not getting a raise, everyone is not... But I bet you the people that make them in some... themselves invaluable do so.

Lewis Howes 27:22 Sure.

Tiffany Aliche 27:22 You see what I mean?

Lewis Howes 27:23 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 27:23 So it's like, so you... which one do you wanna believe?

Lewis Howes 27:25 Mm-hmm.

Tiffany Aliche 27:26 Like, when people, like, are fighting me on a, "Oh, that's easy for you," I'm like, "Good, you get to win at losing." Like, what do you want me to say?

Lewis Howes 27:32 You get to win at being right.

Tiffany Aliche 27:33 Yeah. Woo-hoo. You lose.

Lewis Howes 27:34 [laughs]

Tiffany Aliche 27:34 Like, [laughs] I'm just like, you... I wanna win at being delusional.

Lewis Howes 27:38 Uh-huh.

Tiffany Aliche 27:38 Like, I'm living a delusional life right now, you know? That's like, I mean, I'm going to Rwanda next month for like two weeks.

Lewis Howes 27:45 Wow.

Tiffany Aliche 27:46 Um, there's like no place that I've wanted to travel to that I haven't gone just yet. Maybe I haven't walked the Great Wall of China yet, but I've seen the pyramids in Giza, Victoria Falls in South Africa. I've taken my sisters, my parents, I paid off their house. I'm living in my delusion. And so it starts with that shift, and then you ask yourself, "What do I physically need to do, or who do I need to be to, to bridge that gap?" You know? Like, if I want someone to pay me really good money, how do I make myself so invaluable that they can't breathe without me, like, in this company? And if they do and they decide, "Well, you know, we're still not gonna pay you," I can take that talent someplace else.

Lewis Howes 28:23 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 28:24 And then they'll see.

Lewis Howes 28:25 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 28:25 It takes three people to h- you should've just kept me.

Lewis Howes 28:28 Mm-hmm.

Tiffany Aliche 28:28 You know what I mean?

Lewis Howes 28:28 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 28:28 I have a friend like that. She works in HR, and she was like, "Where everybody else was losing jobs, Tiffany..." She's like, "One company begged me to stay so much so they gave me a percentage of the company."

Lewis Howes 28:36 Wow.

Tiffany Aliche 28:36 And they weren't even giving away cuts of the com- because they were like, "We cannot lose you."

Lewis Howes 28:40 Wow.

Tiffany Aliche 28:40 So how do you create that kind of environment?

Lewis Howes 28:42 Make yourself so valuable.

Tiffany Aliche 28:43 That's one of the ways to, to earn more.

Lewis Howes 28:45 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 28:45 So wh- what other value can you bring to the marketplace?

Lewis Howes 28:47 Mm-hmm.

Tiffany Aliche 28:48 From, like, like maybe you make dinners, maybe you babysit kids, maybe you tutor. I used to tutor and babysit. So how can you have access to earning a little bit more, to creating a little more buffer for yourself?

Lewis Howes 28:58 Wow.

Tiffany Aliche 28:58 And if you're one of these people that are spending too much, like really getting down, that's why I wrote Get Good With Money. It helps you to break down and look at, like, what am I actually spending, and is there room

Tiffany Aliche 29:08 to, to, to spend less?

Lewis Howes 29:10 Mm-hmm. It sounds like a lot of people are dealing with shame around money these days as well.

Tiffany Aliche 29:13 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 29:13 Because they're not making enough, and they're taking out loans for credit cards or whatever it might be to spend more to keep up. So how does shame keep us in a negative spiral around our finances?

Tiffany Aliche 29:23 Shame is like one of the worst emotions that you can feel. It is so destructive. It's like cancerous, honestly, because shame shields solutions.

Lewis Howes 29:33 Shame shields solutions.

Tiffany Aliche 29:35 Mm-hmm. Shame will make you think that there's no way to win, no way to fix it.

Lewis Howes 29:39 Mm.

Tiffany Aliche 29:39 No way... When I was at my worst financially, I was hiding from all my friends.

Lewis Howes 29:43 Really?

Tiffany Aliche 29:44 'Cause I was ashamed, 'cause I was the girl that was good with money, and all of a sudden now I'm broke, sleeping on my sis- my sister's couch and, and moving back home with my parents like I was a teenager. You know? I remember I turned 30 and I was in my middle school bed at home.

Lewis Howes 29:57 No way.

Tiffany Aliche 29:58 And I remember looking up at the ceiling.

Lewis Howes 30:00 The stars that you put on there and... Yeah. [laughs]

Tiffany Aliche 30:02 Okay. And I remember a tear streaming down my... I thought to myself, "I had more money when I was 15 than I do now."

Lewis Howes 30:09 Wow. Wow.

Tiffany Aliche 30:09 'Cause I babysat at 15 and, like, you know.

Lewis Howes 30:11 Yeah. You're not paying rent and-

Tiffany Aliche 30:12 Yeah. You know, but I had like maybe $2,000 saved.

Lewis Howes 30:14 Sure.

Tiffany Aliche 30:14 I'm like, "I'm negative 300,000."

Lewis Howes 30:17 Wow.

Tiffany Aliche 30:17 Like, 15-year-old Tiffany's like, "Wow."

Lewis Howes 30:20 "What happened to you?"

Tiffany Aliche 30:20 [laughs] She's like, "What are you doing back here?" And I just remember being like, "This is terrible." And I felt so much shame. My best friend Linda was calling me like day in, day out, and I wasn't picking up. And then finally, I, I picked up and I tried to pretend like everything was okay, and then I just burst into tears and I was like, "I'm broke, and I'm home." And she was like, "Okay, and I'm home with my mom, too." I was like, "What?" She's like, "Girl, it's something called a recession. We're all broke." [laughs]

Lewis Howes 30:46 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 30:46 And shame had shielded me from the fact that like, oh, there are other people navigating, 'cause shame loves silence. You know? Shame is like, you are a mistake, not that you made a mistake.

Lewis Howes 30:57 You're bad and wrong.

Tiffany Aliche 30:58 Yeah. And so the only way to release shame is you have to give voice to it. Find yourself a Linda that you can say all the things so they can say, "That's it?" You know?

Lewis Howes 31:09 All right. Get over yourself. Let's move on.

Tiffany Aliche 31:10 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 31:10 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 31:10 It's literally. So it released me, and then I was like, wait, I know how to budget, I know how to save, I know how to fix my credit. So it allowed me to realize, like, actually, I, I know how to fix these things. But shame said, "No, you don't. Stay here in the darkness with me." Once I released it by telling one person that I could trust, and it kind of gave me the permission to forgive myself, 'cause that's really what it was, that I was really angry at myself. And then once I was able to do that, then I was able to get down to the

Tiffany Aliche 31:35 business of fixing the thing.

Lewis Howes 31:36 Wow.

Tiffany Aliche 31:36 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 31:37 What would you say are the key rules for building wealth that rich people have learned that poor people still don't know about?

Tiffany Aliche 31:44 That the truly the wealthiest, wealthiest, wealthiest people I know are like, they manage their debt really well, right? That overhead is everything. So I have rich friends who are like, "I, I own the Maserati and the, the four homes and the, I have a mortgage on this, and the..." I have rich friends, and I have really wealthy friends who are like, "All that is paid off."

Lewis Howes 32:05 Mm.

Tiffany Aliche 32:05 "I'm not carrying debt like that."

Lewis Howes 32:07 Really?

Tiffany Aliche 32:07 Mm-hmm. And I'm like, "Why?" They're like, "'Cause every money, every dollar that comes into me, I wanna keep 80 cents of it." You know, versus like, yes, I'm making... I have friends who are literally making six figures monthly and spending six figures monthly. So they're rich, but the moment they stop-

Lewis Howes 32:22 They got no money

Tiffany Aliche 32:22 ... it's over, and then they live with the stress of it. And so to me, what I want people who are trying to navigate their finances is, first things first, you have to cut your coat according to your size. That's what my dad would say.

Lewis Howes 32:35 Cut your coat?

Tiffany Aliche 32:36 Yeah, cut your coat according to your size. That's a budget. Meaning live under your means.

Lewis Howes 32:40 Mm.

Tiffany Aliche 32:40 You, you know, you're, you're, you're wearing this coat. It's tight on you. You're doing too much.

Lewis Howes 32:44 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 32:44 So ideally, pull back if you c- like, where you can pull back. Like, spend less. You know, it's very simple. It's you spend less or you make more, 'cause there has to be a gap.

Lewis Howes 32:54 Yes.

Tiffany Aliche 32:54 And with that gap, that savings, you save some, and then you put some to work-

Lewis Howes 32:58 Mm

Tiffany Aliche 32:58 ... through investing.

Lewis Howes 32:59 Yeah, yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 33:00 That's literally it. But one of the ways that you create that gap is, yes, you can make more, but if you over-index on debt, every time you make more, you buy another thing, and you get another thing, and you get another thing. And before you know it, you have a, a, a lamp build. You know, you finance... Everything in your house is being financed. The couch is financed, everything's financed, and before you know it, you know, even if you start to make more money, it's absorbed any new money that you have coming in.

Lewis Howes 33:23 Mm.

Tiffany Aliche 33:24 You know? And so managing that debt, like, and, and not trying to take on new debt. Like with CNN, I was working with this couple. CNN had reached out to me and said, "Hey, we're

Tiffany Aliche 33:34 doing this savings challenge, and want to work with this couple." And I was like, "Oh my God, yes. It's great." They're, they're, they were awesome, loving, and so I was working with them, and they were just spending too much. And so we got them on a budget. I was feeling good. Um, the, the wife had just lost her job, so they were-

Lewis Howes 33:50 Mm

Tiffany Aliche 33:50 ... trying to figure that out. And sadly, one of his aunts had passed away and left him, like, $70,000 or something. And they have two, like, uh, twin sons. They bought them both cars.

Lewis Howes 34:01 Mm.

Tiffany Aliche 34:02 Renovated, like, the bathroom.

Lewis Howes 34:03 That money's gone.

Tiffany Aliche 34:04 This is before, so they didn't tell me. They're like, "Good news. We got $70,000, and this is how we spent it already." I'm like, "I just saw y'all two weeks ago." The way I was-

Lewis Howes 34:11 They spent it right away

Tiffany Aliche 34:12 ... sliding down the... Almost all of it. And I said, "Oh, God." And I was like, "No." And that's the thing, is that, like, so many times we've had the money in our lives come in, and we've mismanaged it. And they weren't... They, they really thought they were being responsible. And I said to the wife, I said, "You know, one of... You kept, you asked me why do we keep returning back here. It's because of choices like this. Not... I know you're not doing it intentionally, but there has to be a reframe-

Lewis Howes 34:38 Mm

Tiffany Aliche 34:38 ... about what mon- when, one, when money comes into your life, creating a, an on-paper plan before you put it to work."

Lewis Howes 34:45 Mm-hmm.

Tiffany Aliche 34:46 "And asking yourself, does this plan make sense?"

Lewis Howes 34:48 Yeah. A system.

Tiffany Aliche 34:49 Before you put it to work.

Lewis Howes 34:50 Yeah. Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 34:51 So if you're getting your tax refund, like, what, what, like, what... Before that money comes in, what are you gonna do with it? Maybe you're getting, um, I don't know, maybe somebody passed away, they left you some inheritance. Um, maybe you're getting a bonus. You get a bonus every year. Before that money comes in, like, what are your goals? Write it down on paper. How am I gonna put this money to work? It's okay to set aside some of it for fun money, but what is the other money gonna do? Is it going to intentionally pay down some debt? Are you gonna put it toward an investment? Like, really getting clear, because if you don't tell money what to do, it will tell you what to do.

Lewis Howes 35:22 Mm.

Tiffany Aliche 35:23 I said, I always say money's like a toddler, like a two-year-old. It's like, you gotta, you gotta... So we're gonna do this thing.

Lewis Howes 35:28 Discipline.

Tiffany Aliche 35:28 What?

Lewis Howes 35:28 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 35:29 Yeah. Because they're like, they're like, "No, we're not, we're not doing it today." [laughs] Next thing you know, you have your toddler wearing, you know, rain boots and it's not raining outside 'cause they're like, "No, I told you what I'm wearing. This is what's happening."

Lewis Howes 35:37 Oh, yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 35:38 And so, like, with money, you have to really be mindful and tell it, "This is what we're doing,"

Tiffany Aliche 35:42 and put a plan in place for it to do that.

Lewis Howes 35:44 Now, before the post-traumatic broke syndrome, what would it have taken from you to, to figure that out for yourself on how to create peace internally, instead of just save, save, save, save, save, and then still be stressed out and work hard? What was missing inside of you?

Tiffany Aliche 35:57 It's the thing I created in The Budgetnista, honestly. There's three things that create that transformation. It's knowledge. And so, like, okay, so what, what is the book? What is the... I have to absorb something new so I have a corrective experience based upon... If I, if I knew it, I'd be doing it.

Lewis Howes 36:13 Right.

Tiffany Aliche 36:13 You know? If I knew better, I'd do better. So now-

Lewis Howes 36:15 But some people know, and they still don't do.

Tiffany Aliche 36:17 Well, that's one. That's why it's only one.

Lewis Howes 36:18 Yes.

Tiffany Aliche 36:18 The, the second is access, and when I say access, access to, to someone who knows better.

Lewis Howes 36:25 A mentor, a friend-

Tiffany Aliche 36:25 Yes. Yes

Lewis Howes 36:26 ... a coach, whatever.

Tiffany Aliche 36:27 So to me, I was watching the Will Smith videos or whatever, but, but for my father, my mom, you know. And so I provided... Like, I'm access to people, but I also have a cadre of other financial educators that I bring in, right? And then the third thing, which is just as important as the other two, is community. We work best in community. We might do, say, like a credit challenge, and I always build a community aspect because you might ask a question that I can't relate to. You might say, "Hey, you know, I'm a single dad who's raising my daughter, and she really wants to do cheerleading, but I'm not really sure, like, how much is too much to spend," whatever. And somebody else who's a single dad might be like, "Oh, I've done that before. I've seen that." Where, like, I'm like, "Oh, I don't know if I have the right advice." But the community comes together, holds you accountable, normalizes the process. 'Cause you might be thinking, "I'm... Something must be wrong. I'm losing." And the community, someone in the community is like, "I'm just like you. I'm navigating the same thing." You know? And the community just keeps you going. So knowledge, access, and community-

Lewis Howes 37:25 Mm

Tiffany Aliche 37:25 ... would have helped me. I didn't know,

Tiffany Aliche 37:27 so I built it. I built it.

Lewis Howes 37:29 That's cool.

Tiffany Aliche 37:29 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 37:30 And do people have a willpower problem when it comes to managing and navigating money, or is something else broken inside of them?

Tiffany Aliche 37:38 I think that, like, lack of willpower is just, it's just an indicator of something else, you know? Because you do the things that you really want to do, you know? So sometimes it's like I don't have the willpower to, to, to eat better, you know, because maybe really I'm feeling insecure about something else. You know, certainly, yes, there's discipline that, that's required, but it's usually tied to some other emotion-

Lewis Howes 38:03 Mm

Tiffany Aliche 38:03 ... whether it's guilt or grief, shame or, or fear. There should be some aspect of living fully now, but not so much so that you're not looking out for your older self.

Lewis Howes 38:14 Right.

Tiffany Aliche 38:14 'Cause Lewis, it is your younger self's job to look after your older self. So I named my older self. Her name is Wanda. Because there was a study that was done that shared that people do not see themselves, like, as possibly being older.

Lewis Howes 38:28 Mm.

Tiffany Aliche 38:28 And so it's like you're disconnected from that person, just like you might forget what it's like to be a child. You're disconnected. So I said, "Well, I'm gonna give my older self a whole new name, Wanda." And so when I'm making choices, sometimes Wanda is judging in the back of my head like, "Oh, that's what we're doing?"

Lewis Howes 38:43 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 38:43 "I thought we were putting money up."

Lewis Howes 38:44 Right.

Tiffany Aliche 38:44 "Okay, so cat food for me I see." I'm like, okay, Wanda.

Lewis Howes 38:46 [laughs]

Tiffany Aliche 38:47 Like, you know, like all right, I'm... You know, let me, let me figure out what Wanda needs 'cause Wanda's not gonna be working.

Lewis Howes 38:52 Right.

Tiffany Aliche 38:52 Even if she could, she can't work as much as I do now. And so it's my job to... Almost like Wanda's like the grandmother, my grandmother. You know what I mean? It's my job to look after Wanda now.

Lewis Howes 39:01 Yeah, so that your future self is proud of your current self.

Tiffany Aliche 39:04 Yes, and also, too, has the, has the things they need to be safe and okay and happy-

Lewis Howes 39:09 Mm

Tiffany Aliche 39:09 ... and whole, you know?

Lewis Howes 39:10 The School of Greatness is presented by ChatGPT. Now, personal growth looks different for everyone. Maybe it's exercising more, maybe it's learning something new, or making time for a goal that you've been putting off for a while. The hardest part is finding time in your busy schedule, and that's where ChatGPT can help you. Give it your goals. Connect your personal calendar and tell it how much time you can commit to, and ChatGPT creates an adjustable weekly plan and progress tracker that fits your lifestyle. I use ChatGPT with the work toggle enabled to research guests, organize information, and create reports for the School of Greatness so I have more data. It helps me stay organized and focused on what matters most. Get started at chatgpt.com.

Lewis Howes 39:58 You know, now I go back and I think about what my younger self needed.

Tiffany Aliche 40:02 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 40:03 And I think about the parts of me that are still maybe inside of me, the 5, 7, 10-year-old. How can I reconnect with the younger version of myself-

Tiffany Aliche 40:11 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 40:11 ... now internally-

Tiffany Aliche 40:12 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 40:13 ... and make him feel safe-

Tiffany Aliche 40:15 Yeah

Lewis Howes 40:15 ... and say, "Hey, I got us now."

Tiffany Aliche 40:17 Yes.

Lewis Howes 40:17 "I'm here for you."

Tiffany Aliche 40:18 Yes.

Lewis Howes 40:19 Like, you don't need to carry that pain anymore-

Tiffany Aliche 40:21 Yeah

Lewis Howes 40:21 ... internally or emotionally or mentally or spiritually-

Tiffany Aliche 40:24 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 40:24 ... because I'm taking care of us.

Tiffany Aliche 40:26 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 40:26 And I'm also thinking about, okay, how can I set myself up as well, like you do, for my future self-

Tiffany Aliche 40:31 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 40:32 ... so that my future self is really appreciative of the choices and decisions that we made-

Tiffany Aliche 40:37 Yeah

Lewis Howes 40:37 ... now for the future as well. So it's, it's interesting. We can go in the future and in the past for ourselves-

Tiffany Aliche 40:43 Yeah

Lewis Howes 40:43 ... and kind of repair the past, the decisions we made, and try to not... and forgive ourselves like you did.

Tiffany Aliche 40:47 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 40:48 So that we feel more whole right now.

Tiffany Aliche 40:51 Yeah. I call it, like, um, being a paper towel person. So, um, growing up, like, my dad and mom had kind of opposite personalities. Like, my dad was more of a fusser 'cause I was... I, I didn't... I mean, I, I realize now I have ADHD, but at the time I didn't know that. I was spilling everything, dropping everything, just all over the place. And he'd be like, "Tiffany, just sit down for a minute. Tiffany, what happened? Tiffany..." You know, so he was more the fusser. And my mom, if I spilled something, would just grab a paper towel.

Lewis Howes 41:17 Mm.

Tiffany Aliche 41:18 And I remember even when I was little thinking, "Huh." Like, she just got to it 'cause she... 'Cause at the end of the fussing, my dad would get the paper towel.

Lewis Howes 41:25 Yeah, so what's the point?

Tiffany Aliche 41:26 I would-

Lewis Howes 41:26 Stop fussing

Tiffany Aliche 41:26 ... she would... Right. So I'm like... So I told myself when I was little, I used to be like, "I wanna be like Mommy. I wanna be a paper towel person," where something happens, she's like, "You already know to stop running. You're doing it." Like, so just, just get a paper towel.

Lewis Howes 41:38 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 41:38 So I think about that, that, like, can you stop fussing at yourself?

Lewis Howes 41:41 Yeah, that's good.

Tiffany Aliche 41:42 Can you get right to the paper towel?

Lewis Howes 41:43 Stop beating yourself up.

Tiffany Aliche 41:44 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 41:44 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 41:45 'Cause to what end?

Lewis Howes 41:46 Mm-hmm.

Tiffany Aliche 41:46 You know, to what end? O- okay, you owe money. Okay. You know, you, you spend too much on your credit card. Okay.

Lewis Howes 41:52 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 41:52 You know, you, you know, you, you shouldn't have gone on vacation. Okay, and? Okay,

Tiffany Aliche 41:57 and get a paper towel. Today's the day.

Lewis Howes 41:59 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 41:59 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 42:00 A lot of people struggle with the comparison of other people, whether it be their friends, family members, peers, colleagues, or especially on social media, when they see other people living a life that maybe looks like they have more-

Tiffany Aliche 42:14 Mm

Lewis Howes 42:14 ... than them. How do we overcome the comparison that other people have more, they're living this amazing lifestyle because they have more money, and I don't?

Tiffany Aliche 42:23 Well, one, you know, like, you have to avert your eyes sometimes. I literally had to learn to mute certain-

Lewis Howes 42:29 Unfollow people.

Tiffany Aliche 42:30 Yeah. And it sounds like, oh, I should be mature enough, whatever.

Lewis Howes 42:33 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 42:33 Like, I don't wanna see it.

Lewis Howes 42:34 Or mute them. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 42:35 [laughs] You know, I mute or whatever it is, you know, 'cause I'm like, I don't... 'Cause I even have colleagues who I'm like... And I love them and I'm happy for them, but sometimes I'm like, "Oh man, I went out for that contract. I didn't get it. Oh, they got it." Okay. I just realized, you know, I don't actually have to be the most mature. Mute. And so, like, you can curate what you see, you know? And so because it's, it is difficult as a human being not to see and say, "I want that too," but also learning to be grateful like, like, like how little kids are grateful. You know, like you ever see a kid, you give them a toy and they're playing with the box.

Lewis Howes 43:07 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 43:07 They're like, "All of it is awesome." You know what I mean?

Lewis Howes 43:10 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 43:10 Like, so I try, I take a walk almost every day. I live by this beautiful park, and I take a walk every day and I practice, like being like, "Oh man, the trees are, like changing colors. How beautiful is this?"

Lewis Howes 43:21 Yes.

Tiffany Aliche 43:21 "Oh man, there's like this like groundhog that I see, like sometimes." And like, and I'll see, I'm like, "Oh, I, I'll see like one over here," whatever. Then I'm like, "You know, I think I saw your cousin over there. I wonder how, you know, do y'all get together?" [laughs]

Lewis Howes 43:31 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 43:31 You know, like, or, "Oh man, like if you really stop and listen, listen to how the birds sound." Like, living in the gratefulness of what's actually happening in your life helps you to mine for joy and stay there, and then s- like kind of muting out the other things. And so that's just in all areas of life, you know?

Lewis Howes 43:47 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 43:47 And also, I want you to understand, like I, so many of your, your blue check faves slide into my DMs to ask for financial advice.

Lewis Howes 43:54 Really?

Tiffany Aliche 43:55 So many.

Lewis Howes 43:56 Interesting.

Tiffany Aliche 43:57 So many. I have so many NDAs, so I can't even say. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 43:59 Wow.

Tiffany Aliche 44:00 And so I'm not saying, but I'm saying.

Lewis Howes 44:02 Yeah, maybe they're spending a lot of money, but they're not-

Tiffany Aliche 44:04 But-

Lewis Howes 44:04 ... keeping it. They're not investing it. They're-

Tiffany Aliche 44:06 When I tell you, lots of people are living off credit cards.

Lewis Howes 44:07 Wow.

Tiffany Aliche 44:08 And then on top of that too, I have people who I know who are worth tens of millions, even hundreds of millions of dollars, and that does not guarantee joy.

Lewis Howes 44:17 Really?

Tiffany Aliche 44:18 That does not.

Lewis Howes 44:18 How many wealthy people that have 10 million plus in the bank are actually healthy, healthy and living a life of joy that you know?

Tiffany Aliche 44:27 I don't, honestly, none of the people... Well, maybe like one or two.

Lewis Howes 44:30 Really?

Tiffany Aliche 44:31 There's lots of, "I wish I had this. I wish I had partnership. I wish I had deeper connection. Like, I have all of this, but I'm still working all the time." Like, like yeah, you'd be surprised. One of my friends said, I, 'cause we talked about it, she's like, "Tiffany, you know you're the only one I know who's in that space."

Lewis Howes 44:48 Who's happy and healthy and whole.

Tiffany Aliche 44:49 Yes. And, and, and have, and has wealth. She's like, "You, you're the only one I know in that sp-" But I wasn't before Gerald passed away.

Lewis Howes 44:55 Right.

Tiffany Aliche 44:56 Other than my relationship with him, you know? And I thought, "Wow."

Lewis Howes 44:59 But you were stressed, overworked, overwhelmed, living in scarcity.

Tiffany Aliche 45:02 Yes. All the things. And so despite all... You think, I should've been so grateful. A minute ago you were making $39,000 a year, now you make more than that in a month. And I'm just like, I th- I was happier at the time when teaching preschool.

Lewis Howes 45:16 Wow.

Tiffany Aliche 45:16 When like my, you know, my daily thing was I can't wait, it's gonna be snack time, we're gonna go to the park, the kids are gonna take a nap, I might sneak one in too. You know, like that was my day. And now it's like from morning, noon, and night, night, night, night, night, going to bed 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning to get up 6 or 7 to start it all over.

Lewis Howes 45:33 And it never stops.

Tiffany Aliche 45:34 Never.

Lewis Howes 45:34 Vacation,

Lewis Howes 45:35 you're still running the business.

Tiffany Aliche 45:36 Still.

Lewis Howes 45:36 There's no time off.

Tiffany Aliche 45:38 Literally, I remember I was sitting in my doctor's office getting my, my physical, my annual. And you know, you're wearing the gown or whatever, and you're sitting like on whatever, like the bed. And they, the nurse came in or whoever to take my blood pressure. I had my laptop on my-

Lewis Howes 45:50 Shut up

Tiffany Aliche 45:51 ... And I'm just like, da, da, da. 'Cause I was like, I, you, I mean, there's never not work to do.

Lewis Howes 45:54 Of course.

Tiffany Aliche 45:54 So I'm just like, da, da, da, da. So the nurse comes in, she looks at me, and she looks at the thing. I didn't even notice, and she leaves. And then the doctor come, comes in and she takes my blood pressure again, which had never happened before. And I'm like, "Taking my blood pressure again?" And she said, "Your blood pressure has spiked, Tiffany. You've never had." I said, "Oh, I think 'cause I ran up the stairs to get here." And she said, "Mm, you've been sitting in the waiting room for some time." And I just was like... She said, "Are you stressed?" I said, "No." She said, "You're still on your laptop." I said...

Lewis Howes 46:22 Oh my gosh. [laughs]

Tiffany Aliche 46:23 So what were you saying? [laughs] And I just remember, I ca- that, I literally had like one of these little, like, um, I don't know, I guess I've, I can't remember, not a iPad, but I forget whatever the Apple, like small-

Lewis Howes 46:36 Tablet or something maybe.

Tiffany Aliche 46:36 Yeah. But like, I ca- everywhere. Food shopping. Even if I was taking a shower, I might be like, "Okay." Yes, everywhere I went because I was always working. I, so much so I remember having dreams where I'm typing in my dream.

Lewis Howes 46:51 Oh, wow.

Tiffany Aliche 46:51 Like the dream was me w- was me working. And sometimes I'd wake up-

Lewis Howes 46:54 In the middle of...

Tiffany Aliche 46:55 [laughs]

Lewis Howes 46:56 Wow. Well. [laughs]

Tiffany Aliche 46:57 Yeah, so woo-hoo, I'm making 10 million, but I'm killing myself.

Lewis Howes 47:00 Wow.

Tiffany Aliche 47:01 I'm killing myself.

Lewis Howes 47:02 That's crazy.

Tiffany Aliche 47:03 And so I'm just like, so now... That's why I said, like I, for me, I want people to get good with money, 'cause that's the name of my book, right? Get Good with Money. Not for the money's sake-

Lewis Howes 47:14 Mm

Tiffany Aliche 47:14 ... but for the life's sake.

Lewis Howes 47:16 Yeah, for their own health.

Tiffany Aliche 47:17 Yeah. So that way you have enough to go to the doctor.

Lewis Howes 47:20 Gosh.

Tiffany Aliche 47:20 Enough to pay your bills. Enough to, to make sure your kid can go to the school you want them to go to. You know, I'm not saying that you shouldn't shoot for the moon and have more, but not more for more's sake.

Lewis Howes 47:30 They're not living an abundant life.

Tiffany Aliche 47:31 Nah.

Lewis Howes 47:32 Just 'cause you got money doesn't mean-

Tiffany Aliche 47:33 No

Lewis Howes 47:33 ... you're living a rich life internally.

Tiffany Aliche 47:35 And they're still worried about money, which is crazy. Literally, I had a friend say, "I'm just worried about the market." I'm like, "I'm sorry, what? You're worth over $100 million." [laughs] Like, what-

Lewis Howes 47:46 They're worried about losing 10 million from it or something, you know?

Tiffany Aliche 47:48 Or whatever it is. And I just thought, 'cause even that made me realize, you know, like, okay, I don't,

Tiffany Aliche 47:54 I don't want more for more's sake.

Lewis Howes 47:55 Wow.

Tiffany Aliche 47:56 You know what I mean?

Lewis Howes 47:57 So it sounds like people who are broke aren't living a happy life if they're worried about the money.

Tiffany Aliche 48:03 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 48:03 If they're worried about not having enough.

Tiffany Aliche 48:05 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 48:05 People that have 10 million to 100 million plus who are worried about money s- are also still broke.

Tiffany Aliche 48:11 Mm-hmm. Yes, or broke-in.

Lewis Howes 48:13 Broke-in, right?

Tiffany Aliche 48:14 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 48:14 Maybe you have money, but it doesn't solve your emotional problems.

Tiffany Aliche 48:18 No. More money does not... Past a certain amount of money, it doesn't solve... So certainly nobody, I don't want anybody to be broke, but past a certain amount of money, it doesn't solve the next thing. It doesn't mean you and your, your parents are gonna be besties again. It doesn't mean your sister who went no contact is gonna talk to you. Certainly, you, you can navigate if you get a illness, but it doesn't mean that you're exempt from getting sick. You know, I always think to myself, Steve Jobs passed away. He had all the money in the... You know, like, he passed away. Like, money's not gonna exempt you from loss- From grief, from health issues. Certainly can help to smooth out some of the rough places, but it doesn't erase all the ills, you know? And so, like, that's why that is not my, my priority and goal, you know? It's

Tiffany Aliche 49:05 to get good enough with money to use it as a tool for a better life.

Lewis Howes 49:08 So how do we get emotionally whole around the idea of money in our life-

Tiffany Aliche 49:12 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 49:12 ... before we become financially whole?

Tiffany Aliche 49:15 You have to ask yourself what, what matters to you most. And so for me, it's family, friends, connection, relationship, and center that, right? And then what do you need to make those things happen? So for me, I'll give you an example. I live in a neighborhood where I could have moved out of Newark and, like, moved to, like, some, like, fancier city or whatever. But in my neighborhood, I have like four, four really close friends that live in that neighborhood. And then when my husband passed away, we had a house together. I had my sister and her two kids. They live in that house, and I bought a condo, a really beautiful condo, in that same neighborhood. Because so you see, I was like, I centered connection and family, and so the money followed that. And so when it was time for me to buy something, I bought something that allowed me to have closer connection. And so when I take a walk, sometimes I take a two or three-hour walk, 'cause I walk the park, which is like an hour or two. But then I walk to my sister's house and hang with her and the kids.

Lewis Howes 50:16 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 50:16 And then I walk down the street to my friend Rihanna's house-

Lewis Howes 50:18 Nice

Tiffany Aliche 50:19 ... 'cause she's always cooking. And then I wa- you know what I mean? So the money supports the connection, and so that's the wholeness, you know, that you should be working toward. Like, what is the thing you actually want? 'Cause sometimes you'll need money to help you get there, and sometimes you don't.

Lewis Howes 50:35 Mm-hmm.

Tiffany Aliche 50:36 Sometimes you don't. You know? Sometimes it's like, "Oh, I really love nature." Well, then take a walk every morning.

Lewis Howes 50:41 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 50:42 You know? Or, "I really, you know, I've always wanted to learn how to cook," or, you know, like, "I, I want to see my family and friends more." And so but that's the thing, is to get clear on what actually brings you joy, center that, and use money as one of the tools. There'll

Tiffany Aliche 50:57 be other tools you can use, but to support that, that thing.

Lewis Howes 50:59 Wow.

Tiffany Aliche 51:00 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 51:00 What is something else that wealthy people do with money that poor people don't understand?

Tiffany Aliche 51:06 Buy back their time. You know? Like, I, I work, like, way less now than I did when I first started. So I worked, like, a lot, a lot, a lot in the beginning, but I loved it 'cause I loved the grind of it. Like, "It's working. Oh my gosh," you know? And then I got to the peak where I was working so much, and then I hated it. And then I now work... Sometimes I'm like, "Do I still have a business?" [laughs] 'Cause I work so little now. I do one... I, we have our team meeting on Monday, and then the rest of it, I don't... I spend time doing this, which is what I enjoy.

Lewis Howes 51:37 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 51:38 And so yeah, so I'm buying back my time because money allows me to say, "Mm, I don't need to do that." 'Cause people will offer me... I get offers, a lot of offers to do th- different

Tiffany Aliche 51:50 things, and so I get to say no.

Lewis Howes 51:52 Say no to a lot of money opportunities.

Tiffany Aliche 51:54 A lot.

Lewis Howes 51:54 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 51:54 I, I mean, honestly, there's some... So, so for example, I'm not anti-credit card, but I don't sell credit cards to my audience because my audience are financial diabetics.

Lewis Howes 52:04 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 52:04 Right? So not every audience. Like, so for example, I do, like, business coaching, and those people over there, it's different. Most of them are successful professionals. They wanna start something on the side. I might suggest, like, a business card to them. But for the au- my core audience, I consider them financial diabetics, and credit cards are sugar.

Lewis Howes 52:21 They need to cut that out.

Tiffany Aliche 52:22 Yes. So sugar for the average person, you fine. Not a financial diabetic.

Lewis Howes 52:26 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 52:26 Not a c- so if I tell you right now I could have three or four times the amount of wealth. Credit card companies will offer you anywhere from a, um, 100 to $1,000 per person that signs up. I mean, 1,000... I could get 10,000 people to sign up easy-

Lewis Howes 52:41 Mm-hmm

Tiffany Aliche 52:41 ... for a credit card. And so I, it's been 16 years, and the answer is no.

Lewis Howes 52:46 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 52:47 But money definitely has allowed me to say no more easily.

Lewis Howes 52:51 Yes.

Tiffany Aliche 52:51 At the beginning, I didn't have any money, but I still said no.

Lewis Howes 52:53 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 52:53 But it allows

Tiffany Aliche 52:54 me to make choices where my back is not against the wall.

Lewis Howes 52:57 Yeah, that's good.

Tiffany Aliche 52:58 You know? It gives me a, a, like, time, space, freedom to make choices based upon, like, what really aligns with how I want my life to look. I always ask myself, "How do you want your life to look this year, Tiffany?" Like, like I said, like, my birthday's coming up in, in two days, and I'm asking myself, "How do I, how do you want 2027-

Lewis Howes 53:15 Hmm

Tiffany Aliche 53:15 ... to look?" And so I'm-

Lewis Howes 53:16 How do you want it to look?

Tiffany Aliche 53:18 I want it to look like speaking engagements 'cause I really love speaking. I love teaching. Um, I want it to look like... I'm an avid reader, like, more time to read. Um, even more travel. I go on a few trips a year, but, like, really-

Lewis Howes 53:31 More. Yeah

Tiffany Aliche 53:31 ... yes. It, like, it look like next to no work when it comes to my business 'cause I have my COO and the team is amazing. So really it looks like speaking, traveling around the country, visiting my friends, and visiting amazing, beautiful places. Um, and just connection and

Tiffany Aliche 53:48 a lot of downtime in nature. So that's what I want it to look like for 2027.

Lewis Howes 53:51 That's your vision.

Tiffany Aliche 53:52 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 53:52 That's cool.

Tiffany Aliche 53:53 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 53:53 What's one conversation that people should be having today or this week-

Tiffany Aliche 53:59 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 53:59 ... around money with people in their life? I feel like a lot of people don't fully open up about money. They're afraid to talk about it or they're, they're shy or they're shameful about having conversations around it. But should we have more conversations? And if so, what's that conversation we should have around money?

Tiffany Aliche 54:16 Yes. You should be normalizing money in every area of your life. So-

Lewis Howes 54:20 How does that look?

Tiffany Aliche 54:22 It could be something as simple as... So my, my stepdaughter, my, my, my, my daughter, 'cause Jerel had a, um, a, a child before we got, before we got married, uh, she just turned 20. And so we talk about money all the time. Since she- I've been in her life since she was six.

Lewis Howes 54:37 Mm-hmm.

Tiffany Aliche 54:37 So we talk about money all the time. When she was little, it looked like, um, "What are you gonna do with your birthday money? We should put some in your piggy bank and then some you can spend." Now that she's 20, I remember when she wanted to... We were getting her a car. I told her, "I'll buy you a car." For your, um, 17th birthday. And she's like, "Ooh, I love, like, you know, I love an Audi." I said, "Oh, me too, twin. You're not getting an Audi. Are you crazy?" [laughs]

Lewis Howes 54:59 [laughs] Yeah. No, she's getting a used Honda over there.

Tiffany Aliche 55:02 Li- literally, that's exactly what she got, a used Honda. I said, "You can get a Honda used, a Nissan used, or a Toyota used." [laughs]

Lewis Howes 55:07 Used. Yeah, yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 55:08 And she was like, "Honda." So she's got a used Honda, like a 2015 Honda-

Lewis Howes 55:12 Man

Tiffany Aliche 55:12 ... CR-V or something like that.

Lewis Howes 55:13 She'd be excited about that.

Tiffany Aliche 55:14 Yeah, no, she was.

Lewis Howes 55:14 Free car.

Tiffany Aliche 55:15 Yeah. Well, now, I mean, at the time, you know, she wanted to, like, you know, be fancy for her friends, and now then her... It's funny because her boyfriend ended up getting an Audi, still a used one, and she said, "I get it now because-"

Lewis Howes 55:25 The expense

Tiffany Aliche 55:26 ... his bra- Yeah. She's like, "We can't even go on a date this week," 'cause he said the brakes went and it's $1,500. She... I said, "Now you understand." But so conversations don't have to be like stop, drop, and roll. It's just in casual conversations, like, you know, like, this is what... this is the kind of car you want. But if you're, if you're struggling with financial shame, find your Linda-

Lewis Howes 55:46 Mm-hmm

Tiffany Aliche 55:46 ... and just confess. They don't have to be a financial expert. They don't have to be. Just

Tiffany Aliche 55:51 someone who you know that their response is going to be kind.

Lewis Howes 55:54 Mm. How should people, once they start making more money, navigate giving money to friends and family?

Tiffany Aliche 56:01 Mm.

Lewis Howes 56:02 And how do you navigate those conversations when now, oh, Tiffany's making all this money. I'm gonna start asking her for money-

Tiffany Aliche 56:10 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 56:10 ... 'cause I've got debt. I need help. I need a car. I need a house. Tiffany, give me, give me, give me, give me.

Tiffany Aliche 56:15 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 56:15 How do you navigate that, um, without feeling taken advantage of, without feeling, you know, abused in certain ways, and how do you ensure that you're giving from a place of wanting to give, not feeling guilty to give-

Tiffany Aliche 56:29 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 56:29 ... by friends or family?

Tiffany Aliche 56:30 One, um, w- before I give any money, which I typically don't give money money, um, because I like to be solution-oriented, but, um, my, one of my-

Lewis Howes 56:40 People don't like that when they need money, though.

Tiffany Aliche 56:42 No.

Lewis Howes 56:42 They're like, "Just give me the money."

Tiffany Aliche 56:43 I know. And I'm like, "I'm sorry. No." Like, you know, so, uh, so to me, 'cause... So I give my parents money every month 'cause I just knew, I told myself, 'cause I saw them do that for their parents. So they had set the tone. They never asked, but I said, "You know, I wanna give you money every month." And so it's, like, basically allowance for them.

Lewis Howes 56:59 Mm-hmm.

Tiffany Aliche 57:00 And it's cute 'cause every month my mother, like, texts me, "The eagle has landed." And I always forget. I'm like, "The eagle?" She's like, "The check."

Lewis Howes 57:07 That's good.

Tiffany Aliche 57:07 And I was like, "Why w-?" [laughs] 'Cause they don't want it. They want the check. They like to go to the bank and cash it. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 57:11 Put it in. They don't want direct deposit, huh?

Tiffany Aliche 57:13 No.

Lewis Howes 57:13 Really?

Tiffany Aliche 57:14 Well, my mom's in her 70s, my dad's in his 80s.

Lewis Howes 57:16 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 57:16 So they like to see the money-

Lewis Howes 57:17 It's a cool

Tiffany Aliche 57:17 ... and then redeposit it back in.

Lewis Howes 57:19 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 57:19 You know? [laughs] So I love that, but they've never asked. But I will say, the conversation starts with, one, if you are gonna give someone the money, my... one of my, um, other best friends, Cabrel, he, he told me, "Does it solve the problem?"

Lewis Howes 57:32 No. Usually it doesn't.

Tiffany Aliche 57:33 Yes. So if it's not... So, like, say for example-

Lewis Howes 57:35 Your parents, it might be different, right? Like-

Tiffany Aliche 57:36 Yeah, so that's different.

Lewis Howes 57:37 Right.

Tiffany Aliche 57:37 But, like, someone, like a cousin comes to me. I had a friend come to me once and said, "I'm late on my car payment, and they took my car. In order for me to get whole again, it's gonna be, say, $1,500."

Lewis Howes 57:47 Yeah, yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 57:48 "Can you help me?" And I said, "If I pay this 1,500, how are you gonna make the car payments moving forward?" They were like, "Oh, I'll figure it out."

Lewis Howes 57:58 Oh, yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 57:58 I said, "So that means it doesn't solve the problem."

Lewis Howes 57:59 Figure it out doesn't mean anything.

Tiffany Aliche 58:01 Yes. And so that's the, the number one thing you ask yourself before you give money, does it sol- I'm, I'm talking about g- give money from someone who's asking.

Lewis Howes 58:08 Yes.

Tiffany Aliche 58:08 Not I give you- you're giving money to your parent or your grandma or whatever. But, like, if someone's asking for money-

Lewis Howes 58:12 Yes, yes

Tiffany Aliche 58:12 ... does it actually solve the problem? If they would've said, "Well, my new job starts on Tuesday, and I'm making enough to cover it," now we might be in business, where I'm just like, "Okay, it solves the problem."

Lewis Howes 58:23 Do you ask them to pay you off also, to pay you back, or do you give and say, "All right, I'll just give you the 1,500 and you're..."

Tiffany Aliche 58:28 It depends on the person. Like, so for me, like, I, like I said, I typically don't, um, uh, give money directly. I'd be more likely to be like, "Give me the information to pay the car directly."

Lewis Howes 58:37 I'll pay that. Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 58:38 Yeah. Mm-hmm. And I'm like, "Okay, your, your job is starting. I, you know, I got you." So, so that's, that's first and foremost. And honestly, I tend to be really generous. Like, I, um... the house that, um, that I... My sister lives there, but she just covers carrying costs. So that's, like, 'cause it's paid off.

Lewis Howes 58:53 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 58:54 So that's just the insurance. You know, she pays her electric bill and things like that. But-

Lewis Howes 58:58 Property tax.

Tiffany Aliche 58:59 Yeah, but that's like 1,500 bucks a month-

Lewis Howes 59:01 Yeah

Tiffany Aliche 59:01 ... for a five-bedroom, three-bath house, house in, in, in Jersey.

Lewis Howes 59:05 For a house.

Tiffany Aliche 59:05 Yeah. And so to me, it was more important. I want you and the kids to live close. I can walk-

Lewis Howes 59:10 Yeah

Tiffany Aliche 59:10 ... 15 minutes and come.

Lewis Howes 59:11 Yeah, that's cool.

Tiffany Aliche 59:11 And I see them every day, you know? And then even where I live now, I bought another, um, a condo in my building so my other sister can live.

Lewis Howes 59:19 Wow.

Tiffany Aliche 59:19 She lives in, like, maybe 30 minutes away. And I'm like, "No, I want you to live close." I want us all in the same neighborhood.

Lewis Howes 59:24 Wow, that's cool.

Tiffany Aliche 59:24 So same thing, just cover the carrying costs. And so some people would say, like, "Oh, that's too much." Not to me-

Lewis Howes 59:29 Yeah

Tiffany Aliche 59:29 ... because what I center is family, friends, and connection. And so I can-

Lewis Howes 59:32 And you're creating convenience. You're buying back your time.

Tiffany Aliche 59:35 Yes. To be able to go see-

Lewis Howes 59:36 You don't have to commute.

Tiffany Aliche 59:36 Yes.

Lewis Howes 59:37 To see them.

Tiffany Aliche 59:37 To be able to... like, and plus too, I wanna be able to lay eyes. Like, are you okay?

Lewis Howes 59:40 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 59:40 You know, do you need anything? And it's so... Studies show that, like, you know, like, you see siblings get to be together all the time when they're younger, and then when they get older-

Lewis Howes 59:49 As they get older

Tiffany Aliche 59:49 ... once a year. For me, almost every day I see one of my sisters.

Lewis Howes 59:53 That's cool.

Tiffany Aliche 59:54 What's more valuable than that?

Lewis Howes 59:55 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 59:56 I know what it is to live life on the other side of, of loss. And I never once thought, "Man, I wish me and Jareau would've had more money together."

Lewis Howes 1:00:05 Mm-hmm.

Tiffany Aliche 1:00:06 It's always more time.

Lewis Howes 1:00:07 Yes.

Tiffany Aliche 1:00:07 And

Tiffany Aliche 1:00:08 so I get to, with money, buy more time with people I care about.

Lewis Howes 1:00:11 Ah, that's true. How do you navigate the pushback if someone asks you for money-

Tiffany Aliche 1:00:16 Yeah

Lewis Howes 1:00:16 ... a friend or family member-

Tiffany Aliche 1:00:17 Yeah

Lewis Howes 1:00:18 ... and you say, "Well, I, I don't really wanna give it to you," or, "I'll, I'll do it under these conditions, if you have a solution," everything you've said there.

Tiffany Aliche 1:00:25 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:00:25 And what if someone's just upset at you or gives you the cold shoulder or starts talking bad about you? How do you navigate those emotions of, oh, they're mean, they're mean to me now.

Tiffany Aliche 1:00:35 Mm.

Lewis Howes 1:00:35 They're mad at me 'cause I didn't give them money.

Tiffany Aliche 1:00:37 Well, you have the conversation with them, and also too, I mean, the truth of the matter is I think we're wanting this magic wand. Sometimes you just gonna have to sit in the discomfort-

Lewis Howes 1:00:44 Yeah

Tiffany Aliche 1:00:44 ... that somebody's gonna be upset with you.

Lewis Howes 1:00:46 Yes.

Tiffany Aliche 1:00:46 And it's not easy. And certainly I've acquiesced and just done it, and I never feel good on the other side.

Lewis Howes 1:00:51 Right.

Tiffany Aliche 1:00:51 And it's never enough because they-

Lewis Howes 1:00:52 It's never enough. They want more six months later.

Tiffany Aliche 1:00:54 I mean, always, always, always. And so just know that they're gonna come back, and then-

Lewis Howes 1:00:58 Ugh

Tiffany Aliche 1:00:58 ... you will finally have to draw a line in the sand. And it's not gonna be fun, but expect it not to feel good, you know, and just sit with it. And, and one of the things I, I've, I've learned is that my behavior and how I navigate the world will make a liar out of somebody who would say something negative about me. You know, I remember my mentor told me that once. I was like, "Oh my gosh, this person is mad at me." Because she was like, "Tiffany, the way you navigate makes a liar out of them."

Lewis Howes 1:01:22 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 1:01:23 Because they're gonna talk about, bad to you about, about you in this circle, and people are gonna be like, "Tiffany, Tiffany. Not the Tiffany that just helped me with this."

Lewis Howes 1:01:29 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 1:01:29 "Not the Tiffany that was so nice." Like, "Mm, that sounds odd. I think it's probably more you than her." And so that's the thing too, is that like know-

Lewis Howes 1:01:37 Mm-hmm

Tiffany Aliche 1:01:37 ... that like, you know, if you've been kind to your people, that even if they do... 'Cause some people will be like that, and quite honestly, there are people who can't come with you on this journey that you're on.

Lewis Howes 1:01:48 Mm-hmm.

Tiffany Aliche 1:01:48 And it might mean that it's time, that they, they

Tiffany Aliche 1:01:50 don't have access to you like that.

Lewis Howes 1:01:51 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 1:01:51 Mm-hmm. It's sad, though.

Lewis Howes 1:01:54 It is sad.

Tiffany Aliche 1:01:54 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 1:01:56 But this is life, I guess.

Tiffany Aliche 1:01:57 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:01:58 You've got a, a quiz for people.

Tiffany Aliche 1:02:00 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 1:02:01 Uh, getgoodwithmoneyquiz.com-

Tiffany Aliche 1:02:03 Yes

Lewis Howes 1:02:04 ... if you wanna figure out how to become financially whole.

Tiffany Aliche 1:02:06 Yes. G- before you figure out what to do, I want you to know, the quiz is like a one-minute quiz, where, where do you actually fall? Like, are you 20% whole, 30% whole? And at the end of the quiz, there's a bunch of free resources to get you started.

Lewis Howes 1:02:21 Cool.

Tiffany Aliche 1:02:21 You know, 'cause I wanna give people something really easy to start. It's like, you know what? I could take this fun quiz. It's fun, but also it's like, oh, oh, oh.

Lewis Howes 1:02:30 Yeah, give you some clarity too.

Tiffany Aliche 1:02:30 Mm-hmm. And then at the end you're like, "Okay, here's where I need to start."

Lewis Howes 1:02:33 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 1:02:34 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:02:34 So people can go to getgoodwithmoneyquiz.com-

Tiffany Aliche 1:02:37 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 1:02:37 ... to get, to figure out where to start, but also thebudgetnista.com has got all your content information-

Tiffany Aliche 1:02:43 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 1:02:43 ... your books, uh, and also over on social media, The Budgetnista-

Tiffany Aliche 1:02:48 Yeah

Lewis Howes 1:02:48 ... as well, for everything.

Tiffany Aliche 1:02:49 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 1:02:50 What's the thing you're most excited about going into 2027 to, to helping people with?

Tiffany Aliche 1:02:56 So I have, we do our annual challenge, it's called... 'Cause my book is called Get Good With Money, so that's like the theme for everything. So, um, we have our, our challenge, um, our Get Good With Money challenge in the beginning of the year. That's totally free. Um, some- we've had anywhere from 20,000 people sign up to 200,000.

Lewis Howes 1:03:13 Wow.

Tiffany Aliche 1:03:13 Mm-hmm. And so it's free, and it's awesome, and it's the knowledge, the access, and we build community around it, so you're never alone. So I'm really excited about that.

Lewis Howes 1:03:22 That's amazing.

Tiffany Aliche 1:03:22 Um, I'm also excited about, like, I'm, like, I'm, I'm doing something non-financial. I'm writing a book about loss.

Lewis Howes 1:03:29 Mm.

Tiffany Aliche 1:03:30 Like, how do you learn to kind of love the loss, you know?

Lewis Howes 1:03:32 Mm.

Tiffany Aliche 1:03:33 And so, like, but that's not gonna come out next year. Just something to do it for, for, for giving's sake, you know?

Lewis Howes 1:03:38 Yes.

Tiffany Aliche 1:03:38 We had... I think we mentioned off-camera how, um, I love, love, love Mr. Rogers.

Lewis Howes 1:03:43 Yes.

Tiffany Aliche 1:03:43 And how in his office he had, uh, a sign that said, "The purpose of life is to live a life of service." So I'm excited about finding other ways to serve. You know, some people are called to do certain things, and I, and I know that I've been called to teach. And the way it looks like for me is that I learn a thing, and then I share that thing.

Lewis Howes 1:04:04 Mm-hmm.

Tiffany Aliche 1:04:05 And so as I navigate life and learning, I look forward to just-

Lewis Howes 1:04:08 Wow

Tiffany Aliche 1:04:08 ... sharing that back out with the world.

Lewis Howes 1:04:10 That's beautiful.

Tiffany Aliche 1:04:10 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 1:04:11 I've got a couple final questions, Tiffany, for you. But I wanna acknowledge you for the journey you've been on, especially the last five, six years-

Tiffany Aliche 1:04:16 Yeah

Lewis Howes 1:04:16 ... with the, the loss of your husband. I'm so sorry about that. And I'm also grateful that you've transformed internally, and created peace, and really become a whole new person-

Tiffany Aliche 1:04:28 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 1:04:28 ... from this. You know, you mentioned that it's, it's probably the worst thing that ever happened, but it created a lot of beautiful things in your life as well-

Tiffany Aliche 1:04:35 Yeah

Lewis Howes 1:04:35 ... that wouldn't have happened without that potentially. So I'm grateful you're bringing healing energy to the world through this transformation that you're having. And, uh, I know a lot of good is, is happening in your life as well because of it. So I appreciate you for, for sharing all your knowledge here, and acknowledge you for the journey you're on, and inspiring so many people when they're going through their own loss and grief as well. So I've got, um, two final questions.

Tiffany Aliche 1:04:57 Okay.

Lewis Howes 1:04:58 This is called the three truths.

Lewis Howes 1:04:59 So imagine hypothetical scenario, you get to live as long as you want, but it's your last day on this earth many years in the future. Your future self is thanking you for all the good that your current self is doing to support your future... What'd you say? Wanda?

Tiffany Aliche 1:05:11 Wanda. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:05:12 Wanda. She's looking down saying, "Thank you so much for all the good you did for me." But it's the last day for you on this earth, and you have to take all of your content with you. This conversation, your books, everything you've ever created, gone.

Tiffany Aliche 1:05:24 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 1:05:24 Hypothetically. But on the last day you get to leave behind three lessons to the world.

Tiffany Aliche 1:05:28 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 1:05:28 Your three truths.

Tiffany Aliche 1:05:30 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 1:05:30 What would those be for you?

Tiffany Aliche 1:05:31 They would be, I was loved well, I loved well-

Lewis Howes 1:05:37 Mm-hmm

Tiffany Aliche 1:05:38 ... and I lived well.

Lewis Howes 1:05:39 Mm.

Tiffany Aliche 1:05:40 That like, that's what would be left behind. People could say that now,

Tiffany Aliche 1:05:45 they could say that before, and they will say that one day when I'm no longer here.

Lewis Howes 1:05:49 That's cool.

Tiffany Aliche 1:05:50 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 1:05:51 Final question, what's your definition of greatness?

Tiffany Aliche 1:05:53 To me, greatness is two things. It is conviction and connection. Like, what are... what do you feel so strongly about that it moves you, so you move the world? You know, for me, it's people having access to knowledge that they can have a really awesome life. And if money's the thing, let's fix the money thing.

Lewis Howes 1:06:16 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 1:06:16 You know what I mean? So there's a conviction in me. That's what gets me up. That's what gets me going. That like, I want people to live well. I want people to have hope. And then the connection is so important, you know. We're not, we're not supposed to be out here by ourselves.

Lewis Howes 1:06:28 No.

Tiffany Aliche 1:06:29 So for me, it's connection to my parents, and my sisters, and my nieces, and my, my nephew, but also my neighbors and my friends. Like, I, I think about my team. Sometimes it's funny 'cause I'll talk to them and I'll forget. I'm like, "Okay, love you." I mean, uh, [laughs] but I do love them. I do, and they can feel that, you know. Like, I love my audience. When my husband passed away, the way I was flooded, my house looked like a florist.

Lewis Howes 1:06:51 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 1:06:52 People... There were people who messaged me and said, "Tiffany, I cried for you."

Lewis Howes 1:06:56 Mm.

Tiffany Aliche 1:06:56 "I never met you." Even now to this day, I remember I was, um, at the doctor's office. He looked at me, and it's probably against HIPAA, but... And she was like, "You're The Budgetnista, right?" Now meanwhile, I had, like, glasses and a mask on 'cause I had, like, a terrible cold. And I said, "Yeah." And then she gave me a hug. She said, "I'm so sorry for your loss."

Lewis Howes 1:07:14 Mm.

Tiffany Aliche 1:07:15 That connection.

Lewis Howes 1:07:16 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 1:07:16 Like, I am swimming in an ocean of love. I am so well-loved. I want that for everyone.

Lewis Howes 1:07:20 Yeah.

Tiffany Aliche 1:07:21 You know what I mean? And so, like, so for me, conviction and connection, that is greatness. You can have no money and all the money, but that's not greatness to me. It's like, do you have those two things? And I do. And so I am... Like I told you this morning, I woke up feeling so grateful. I'm like, man, Tiffany, you're living such an amazing life. Even with the loss, all that included, like what an amazing, awesome life because of that, you know, that, that conviction and connection-

Lewis Howes 1:07:50 Wow

Tiffany Aliche 1:07:50 ... and all the love that you get to experience.

Lewis Howes 1:07:51 Mm.

Tiffany Aliche 1:07:52 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 1:07:52 Tiffany, thanks for being here. Appreciate it.

Tiffany Aliche 1:07:54 Thank you for having me.

Lewis Howes 1:07:54 Powerful.

Speaker 1:07:55 There's not a human being who's ever lived who can tell whether something is good or not looking through the windshield.

Lewis Howes 1:08:00 Mm.

Speaker 1:08:01 Good or bad. We can only tell that looking through the rear, rear view mirror. I don't- I'm not smart enough to know what's good.

Lewis Howes 1:08:06 Mm.

Speaker 1:08:06 I, I'm, I'm smart enough to know what's painful, but I'm also smart enough to know that everything that's painful is not bad